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Give quotes that suggests the person would be better seeking more suitable employment.
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Dear William,
It has come to my attention that your brother George has never provided me with a tooth in trade. I would muchly like to add one of his pristine enamels to my collection, but based on his unwillingness to cooperate, I beseech you to acquire one for me. I will pay triple the going rate. It would please me to no ends if you would procure for me the complete collection, at which time I may have another little favor to ask.
Yours In Good Faith,

T. Fairy.

p.s. I have hidden a mallet beneath your bed.
Upper right two and four, lower right three and two lower left one. Come on.
A pink podume to anyone who recognises the above quote. It was brought to my mind by the death of Dick Vosburgh last week.
Oh gawd, its nearly dawn and I can't get rid of these nicotine stains!
"Little boy, would you like to come sleepover at my Neverland ranch?"
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