According to my calculations, I can use the Large Hadron Collider to create a black hole that will instantly grow at the speed of light, devouring the Earth in a fraction of a second! You must fund this groundbreaking research!

If you really want to lose weight, you need to reduce your critical body mass by controlling the dark matter abrorbed through the body's fatty tissue.

IT'S PRONOUNCED NUC-U-LAR, YOU IDIOT!!

I prefer to barbecue over charcoal, but I can never get the bloody stuff to light.

I love a good old 9 to 5 job.

If I bring in leftovers for lunch, can I use your kit to heat 'em up?

President Ahmedinejad said it was OK if I filmed the set-up here. Honest.

I know that under those conditions the accepted practice is to yell "Emergency! Scram the reactor!", but I feel "Alah-u Akbar!" is shorter and more punchy.

Game's slowing down again.

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Shepherd