Remember kid, I have been in this racket a long time and I am the only one here who knows what he is doing so just perform whatever task I assign to you and don't give me no back lip. The company insists on sending you green kids along for me to train and damn if every one to date has not electrocuted himself on the first day. Let's see if you can do better. See here, I want you to splice together them two naked wires, then shimmy up this pole and disconnect the main power.

What does not kill me makes me stronger.

I've always wanted to do this! [buwahahahahahahahaha]

Okay, I'll hold this bare wire end in my right hand, you hold this other one in your left. Now watch what happens if we both touch your cat at the same time...

I never remember which is brown and which is blue, but it's AC, you can connect it either way round and everything still works.

"DOH!!! ... MY BRAIN HURTS!"

Might I suggest a new subject? If everyone agrees, I think Car Mechanic might be a good one to try.

"Here goes nothing!"

Turn that engine off! I'm allergic to exhaust fumes!

You have a flat what? sorry sir but we only fit round ones.

Diesel, petrol? What the hell, they're both fuel aren't they?

Do you realise that for every mile you drive, a baby dies?

I would recommend changing the brakes as the cars stopping distances are a bit long when we tested, don't worry about the bumper as that can be replaced but we will have to bill you for the damage to our wall.

When you say "righty tighty", is that my right?

I'm sorry ma'am, but I was unable to repair the damage to your tire. Since I was a wee lad I could not abide to see anything suffer, so I maneuvered your car around back and put a bullet into its engine block.

"Anybody hear the concert on Radio 3 last night?"

There's no labour charge.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Raise the mainsail, me hearties! With a following wind we'll be in Tortuga by Sunday! Aharr!

"DOH!!! ... MY BRAIN HURTS!"