Goodbye goodbye goodbye!

"Fell off the back of a lorry", you say? Hmmmm. Yes -- well, that sounds reasonable enough. Sorry to have wasted your time sir.

But it is cold outside , can I stay in and have another cup of tea first.

These handcuffs will be so envied at the S&M party.

No tax disc, no proof of insurance, no driver's license, no number plates? Well, these things happen. Drive on, sir.

You do not have to say anything but the Lord will know what is in your heart. It may harm your defence in the eyes of the Saviour Lord Jesus Christ if you do not mention when questioned something that Satan has stirrred within your soul which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say will be judged as being the work of the Devil and all his works by the Almighty in all his majesty and may be given in evidence and may the Holy spirit be merciful.

You, er, wanna come back to my place?

These black tights are sooo

yesterday! what happened there?

(Envisioned as being shouted by desk officer when driver is producing documents at the station)
Iä! Iä Shub Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with A Thousand Young!
With grateful thanks to Inkspot for his wonderful entry and the inspiration for this one

Nothing more to see here. (I hope.) Move along there please.
Make way for the new topic: Supermodel

So I have an IQ of more than 90, then? sorrysorrysorry

Cake!

What do you mean I've developed a silicone alergy?

Shave my armpits? Never!

Sorry, I couldn't possibly go to a party - I have to finish my knitting.

There are so few designers making really intellectually challenging clothes.

I'm not going on any diet!

So what powers will I have that normal models don't?
Actually such air-headedness, it seems, would make for a good career here

I think fashion designers appreciate the fuller figure.

What do you mean, my underwear is not appropriate? I always wear long johns and a thermal vest.

No, I prefer to smoke a pipe.

Twiggy and I were in the same class at school.

Following Simons Mith's examples, let's keep the turnover fast and think about Brain Surgeons.

Doh not again!! Did anyone see where I dropped that?

. . . And if I poke this bit, his leg twitches!

GRAAAAGH!! BRAAAIINZZZ!!!

"My Brain hurts!" Dr G.P. Gumby MRCS, MT, MT, MT.

I always find a glass of wine whilst working helps tremendously.

Oh come on, Phillips, stop dithering and slice the damn thing; it's not exactly brain surgery, is it?

Yes, I know she wasn't meant to have a mastectomy, but I'd lost my glasses and I'd got this kind of idea I was supposed to be performing lobotomies on two bald men with large pimples.

Aaaaaaaaaachooo! Dammit! Swab!

"Before we put you under Mr. Blair, could you please confirm the donor's name?"

I have reviewed your case and have a few proposals few you, on my lap top I have a small power point presentation, it will only take a few minutes just to give you some idea of the options no committment for now but I really think we can work together on this.

"Of course I can take this on! I've worked on the best, you know! My most famous client is George W Bush!"

Whats happened to page 15 of the manual?

Look, er, I've got to go - there's a Lodge meeting. We can park this overnight. See you all tomorrow. Ciao!

OK, how about some for Farmers?

"Yeah... the inspectors from the government came round, and told me I had to kill all my cattle and burn them... So, I thought, why not have a really big barbecue and invite everyone?"

No, I'm not going in there! The cows might get me!

So when to I get to sow my oats?