[Simons] I think Chalky's talking about line 2 of this one which don't follow line 1. My reading of line 1 was as Projoy intended. Let's try and fix it. Perambulatoriuosly I ran into Aldous Huxley He looked at me wryly Then stated quite dryly: You're not wearing knickers, I see. Is that OK?
[ISP, Chalky] If you read mine the first way, irach's line does actually scan (and almost rhyme), to wit: Perambulatoriously I once ran into Aldous L Huxley ...so it depends if you think irach misinterpreted the natural stress pattern of my made-up word (which admittedly was difficult to do because in the word perambulator, the second and fourth syls are stressed in a not very limerickish way. Then again, if you were American, then peramulatory would be limericky, but the UK pronunciation would not. Then again, by analogy with notoriously, you might have realised the "correct" stress. Then again, one does naturally attempt to stress "once" in irach's line, before reading "ran". All in all, quite complicated. Maybe I'd better stick to real words hereon.Muliebrity nudiastertian (look 'em up!)
But now it's today [PJ, ISP, Irach] I can quite see that differing the stress pattern can 'make it fit' but I still maintain that 10 syllabubs in a limerick line is too many. Losing the 'L' [as ISPers did] helps :-)
[Rosie] Indeed, a week is a long time in limericks. I have stared fruitlessly at this one on numerous occasions. Good finish, I thought, under the circs.
Adagio, bringing [Don't quite see why Marc's perfectly reasonable line should stall things for more than a week. It's not like the word 'singing' lacks rhymes …]
Re: Rhymes - I confess that 'famine' was the only word I could come up with. How to keep that in the context of Mars had me completely foxed, which was why I didn't post. I'm sure Chalky had something in mind...
Cussin' and swearin' "This pit that I am in" would have been a perfectly acceptable line, I think. IS,P had it right: if you can't think of a rhyme, then let others have a try, at least until a couple of days have gone by.
[Software] Thought I'd wait until the last one was complete before I made a comment ... all I can do is fully concur with IS,P's remark and pennylope/irach/Darren's contributions and, not least, CdM of the Wise Words. Patience, man!
Remarkably skilled on the piste. [Software] I hate to criticise again so soon, but really! Was 'gooloshes' the best rhyme you could come up with, when 'floshes', 'reswoshes', and even 'underphoshes' were all available. Any one of those would have allowed you to post a line that fit with the rest of the limerick, instead of that nonsense you put down. *shakes head*
Oh dear - hr instead of br - schoolgirl error - which I will put right - Tuj - The hog is a curious beast CdM - Remarkably skilled on the piste ChalkyIts key to success
[Chalky] Not sure that you are right about that. I think murgle is an acceptable past participle in some dialects -- like 'I have stole' rather than 'I have stolen'. And from what I hear, that Channel Islands dialect can be pretty odd at times.
While attempting to extract a square root(Juxt) V. good. (CdM, Chalky) How much more dung are you going to fling at him? It's not as if he's f***** the game up.
[CdM] A fair point. However, Ernie Murgle's tract: Semantic Correlates of Unaccusativity [1973] highlights the formal properties of such lexical derivations. 'Murgle' from the French 'murgler' has evolved into one of the few verbs that can have infinitive objects with agents or gerunds but with a difference in meaning which is left to the speaker/writer. Agree, though, that wibbly dialect can distort the shades of meaning.
I wouldn't normally do this, but given that this line doesn't really scan, seems unconnected to the previous lines (unless I'm missing something), and has apparently stalled the limerick, I suggest replacing it with To Cannery Row
East of Eden said Arthur, the King. Sorry guys, must have been hungry as I posted that line… Thought you were aiming at book titles containing animals or food and didn’t instantly see the connection with John Steinbeck’s eminent works. Completely agree with your remark about the scansion, here is a huge potential for improvements both regarding mine and other submissions I’m afraid…
Mm, hybrid poetical forms. The limeronnet: 7 couplets, alternately long and short limerick metre, with the long couplets all using the same rhyme. The sonnaiku: 14 syllables in 4 lines with ABBA rhyme. The limerestina: a cycle of five limericks plus a final couplet following rules too complicated to work out. The villanellerick, the Petrarchan tercet, the epic cinquain, ...