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Hogging the game
I just heard one of the funniest things that I have heard in my many years as a radio amateur. A gentleman (south of Canada and north of Mexico) whose country of origin shall remain secret was just talking to a local Australian 'ham' and was trying to work out the time difference; he was quite sure that Australia was twenty seven hours ahead of his own time zone.
Shhh
[Dujon] Everyone's asleep.
[Dujon] Excellent stuff! I'm off to a country in the region indicated tomorrow so I hope to return with many amusing tales of foolishness. Almost certainly mine, but there you go.
[Breadmaster] Have a safe trip, sir. I wasn't having a go at American citizens, I talk to many such. As it was latish night at his place at the time I suspect he'd had a hard day and was simply tired - or something. It was still funny though.
chicken licken boiled
[Dujon] You are right, about x-sugarbabe-x. I was slghtly behind with my compiling and jumped a week.

Big Brother; Stu evicted !!! like whoaa, dude! ...that's like .... seriously amaaaazing.

Badgers - out of their misery
It may just be the summer season, but I was surprised that never really got going. I would start a nasty game of Acre Street, as I read that archive recently and oddly felt compelled... But we've got The Furcation Game already, and that needs a good jump start too. As soon as I get a bit of time on my hands why is this the sort of thing I want to waste it on?
And yes
...that was a non sequitur 'cause I'm not a Big Brother fan and I'm too lazy to go Celebdaqing more than half-heartedly!
No Pruning Shears Here
[Tuj] Re: choice of time wasting - because it's fun? I know that's why I keep coming back.
Has there been a game of MC played entirely in Haiku form?
[Boolbar] Not entirely sure, although I once did have a Lock Cup qualifying match against Catherine where all *comments* were to be made in Haiku form, but the move was not included in this (as according to the standard format of separating move from comment, as practiced on PantsMC).
Psycho Haiku
During my last move for The Furcation Move, Furcation O was a new haiku variation. The initial letters of the haiku formed the first line of a new haiku, so "The old writings read / In there ev'ry ancient hai / And its ku under", as well as being a (slightly odd) haiku, forms the first line "To write a haiku" with it's first letters. I can't remember quite why I came up with it, though it does remind of some very difficult limerick game we had once at !York...
Fractal Haiku
It would be very impressive if the new haiku so formed also had the property that its first letters formed the first line of another haiku. And so on.

But shall we play the
game of Mornington Crescent
in haiku form first?

waves goodbye*
See yas all in September :-)
come n sign my guest book pretty please........
Weird commnets will get extra kudos in the next sphere of life or a free cup of tea on Edgware Rd!!! http://www.papalazarus.com/page4.html
cheerios
[Chalky] Have a good hols, this could be the chance I need to get back on top of Celebrity MC *looks down at diary and curses, holiday to France imminent*. Would anyone be able to send me the Friday league web pages for 20 and 27 August? A link will follow tomorrow, but in the meantime congrats to gil (sigmundfreud).
more me again
Barging in with the link as promised, and now back to Kingdom Hospital.
three in a bed
I would normally avoid Haiku. If I break the rules of the format, tap me on the shoulder.
[Inkspot] Surely you mean...

I avoid Haikus.
If I break the format's rules,
tap on my shoulder.

And there you have the same sentiment but in the right number of lines and syllables (5-7-5)...

one or two
It is the syllables I have the problem with. Normally with each player contributing a single line, errors can jar. But by doing all three lines this will be good practice. When I wrote the second line I agonised over Amer-sham and Am-er-sham, coming down on the former, influneced by the move earlier by Dunx where to me I sounded 8 but was accepted as 7
With(1) West(2) Ruis(-?)lip(3/4); puts(4/5) me(5/6) in(6/7) spoon(7/8)
I have invited critisism of my play as my da-dee-da-dee-da seems to be a bit la la at times, but I do intend to nail this format; hopefully before the game ends ;)
As some of you know I enjoy football. This little gem appeared on the official web site of the club I follow:

"In excess of 19,000 season tickets have been sold as ******** gear up for their fourth consecutive season in the top flight, which is more than at the same stage last season."

Is this stating the bleeding obvious or am I misreading it?

Sneaking back in...
Just back from a very enjoyable week in North Wales. I'll have to go tidy up my badgers that are still roaming the tunnels...
[Inkspot] Ruislip is TWO syllables, Amersham is THREE. Unless you're going by some definition of "syllable" of which the rest of us are unaware.
19,000 season tickets
Dujon] I read that about four times, but now I get it! The clause beginning 'which' is a bit ambiguous, I suppose.
Celebdaq
[Inkspot] Looking at the 'daq today, it seems that I now have the facility to add members to Celebrity MC. Would you (or anyone else, for that matter) have any objections if I add in my other two personas?
whiching...
[Dujon, Tuj] I read it first time as I think it was intended... but I reckon the problem is that the 'which' is too far removed from the subject to which it refers... so it looks like it refers to the fourth season, but in fact it refers to the 19,000 season tickets.
more!
[Uncle Korky]Please add them to the League, we need to do something about the recent run of good luck by Dujon, you could even be onto a winner with Doris this week. According to JJ's Projected Dividends it will be close between Nadia and Sven on the divi's payout.
En route
[Inkspot] Stand by for appearances by Mavic_Chen and Johnny_McDozenlegs!
Syllabarial Variations
[Inkspot] It might be a pronunciation thing: "Ruislip" is pronounced "rye slip" rather than "roo-ey slip"; "Amersham" is always "Am-er-sham".
seven eighths
So the line does have eight syllable thingys With(1) West(2) Rui(3)slip(4); puts(5) me(6) in(7) spoon(8) and yes fair cop on Amersham, from such a low base, I can only but improve....moving swiftly along; [Uncle Korky]I love the names Mavic_Chen and Johnny_McDozenlegs ;P
They should be with us tomorrow.
Apology
[Inkspot] You're quite right. Sorry.

[Haikuen] Apparently I can't count syllables at all.

Orangeless
As I write this, Orange MC is unavailable while its host server reboots. This would normally be a quick thing, but the host server has been up for a long time prior to this and so it went into an fsck cycle. Should be back soon.
Bouncer on the door
[Uncle Korky] The accounts are yet to appear, if they need some extra persuasion either leave the details here or here: gareth underscore penn athotmaildotcom.
I know the bouncer!
[Inkspot] The particular bouncer is my corporate firewall, which won't let me access Celebdaq between 8.30am and 12.00 midday, and then between 2.00pm and 5.30pm. So, the first chance I'll have to insert 'em is lunchtime today.
recording! ding! ding! ding!
Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue emailing list member, This is to let you know of the first recording date in the Autumn series of 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue'.
The recording will take place at the Anvil Theatre in Basingstoke on the evening of Sunday 19th September. The doors open at 7pm and the recording starts at 7.30pm Ticket prices are £12.50, £10, £8.50, £7 and £5. The number for the Anvil Theatre's box office is 01256 844244.
You will need to book early as these shows seem to get more popular with every passing year. However, if you are unlucky or Basingstoke is too far for you to travel, we do have two other recording dates, one in mid October in the North of England and the other in the South in early December. The venues have not yet been confirmed - we hope to be able to send you details of these in the next couple of weeks.
Me name's not down...
[Inkspot] I tried to add 'em in, but I'm not sure it worked. In case it hasn't, Mavic_Chen is 3402569 and Johnny_McDozenlegs is 3411069. Glad you like the names!
Red carpet
[Uncle Korky] Mavic_Chen and Johnny_McDozenlegs have entered at numbers 10 and 12, respectively. Good luck!
!
Cornwall and campsite here I come!!! See ya all in 2 weeks!
dieng of a trojan
I look up a randomn seach on trojan horse Nex.b virus and this site came up because someone had been talking about it. How did yu get rid of it
Gifts from Greece
[Malkie] That was me from a posting I made in April this year. AVG a free anti virus software found it and deleted it. As a matter of course, the system is automatically updated every two weeks. A full scan is carried every couple of days (which for 12Gb takes about 20 minutes).
Celebdaq
Oof!
[Bob] If the weather's anything like it is in Manchester at the moment you're going to have a soggy time! I'm sure the kids will love it.
Notlob
[Dujon] Congratulations, another fine win.
I see the Premiership starts tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that you have a better start to the season this year against Charlton than last years 4-0 drubbing by Man Utd.
We're in!
[Inkspot] Cheers!
Arrivaderci
Inkspot] Pah, Some of us started last week, in the "Coca-Cola Championship". Playing Derby tomorrow, the glamour...
In other news, I'm orf to Italy for a fortnight. Take care all, have fun.
[Inkspot] 1) Ta! 2) So do I. :-(
[Tuj] Good luck, safe travel. I hope the weather's good to you.
1 - 4
I must be a glutton for punishment. I have just signed up to Sportsdaq. Very similar to our old friend Celebdaq but this time it is sports pages only. First portfolio has to be Micheal Owen amd Micheal Schumacher.
news from the Fringe
Ahh, the joys of internet cafés in Edinburgh! My poor friend/stage manager drove us all the way up to Edinburgh on Friday/yesterday, starting from Kent and overnighting in Birmingham (waking up at 6 when you went to bed at five....fun!) And try parking in Edinburgh during the Fringe Festival! Let's not go into that. Show starts tomorrow (Archer's Goon...wearing my lovely t-shirt as I speak) and hopefully it should be good, cos on the last rehearsal day (Friday...arrived in Kent previous Friday for a week of intensive rehearsal...and I mean intensive....it was my birthday last Thursday [thanks for my greetings Angus! :)] and the celebrations went out of the window because we were working all day until we finished our run through at about 1 in the morning) our director said....right....we run over by about an hour and a half...and slashed all the bits out of the play they felt were unnecessary and got it down to about an hour and 30 from 2 hours 45! I now affectionately refer to it as Archer's Goon on acid. It's still really good though. If you can come and see it, please do! Money running out...bip...bip....bip...
Archer
[Zk] Wish I could be there to cheer you on, and I would definitely have enjoyed the show, but sadly, too many hundreds of miles away. Break lots of legs (well, as many as are available)! And let me know if you tour it in the SE.
[Inkspot] Whilst I expect to do poorly I've signed up on Sportsdaq. If you are going to run a league feel free to add me; details are as for Celebdaq.
daqing
I've gotten quite bored with the daq - mind you, I'm much busier in my new job - just starting my 3rd week! The only reason I'm here now is because my line manager and several other team members are off today, and I don't really have anything to do until a meeting at 1pm.
Embra
[ZK] Good luck, and good job I didn't try hunting your show down when I was in Edinburgh last weekend (officially the first proper day of the Fringe). I should be in situ for the whole three weeks next year, but I guess that's not much help. Oh, and someone walks past you very quickly with hands in pockets, do not, under any circumstances even attempt to give them a flyer. They're probably a local who's realised they're at the wrong end of the Royal Mile...
... IF someone ...
On me 'ead!
[Inkspot / Dujon] I've succumbed too... if there's no mini-league yet, I'd be happy to start one (although I'm not sure how to produce those snazzy weekly speadsheets, etc...).
C in C
[UK] Fine by me. I'd volunteer but I already spend too much time on this infernal machine; I run my own (basic) football site and co-manage a couple of others related to installation and maintenance a particular type of 'forum' site software.
Golden gongs for Aussies
[Dujon/Uncle Korky] Although I have created a mini-league I am going to see how things pan out, to see how well it keeps my interest (the id numbers are different to Celebdaq, for Sportsdaq it is 358). Celebdaq can be hard enough to sustain, with the constant round of kneecapping. But I did have a £5,000 bonus today for backing the winner of the Grand Prix which gave a little sparkle to the game, but had not a clue as to where to reinvest the money. I have my fingers crossed that the comprhensive coverage in the broadsheets will counter the football (ie the big four) obsession of the tabloids. Even if Britain were to win gold tomorrow it would be overshadowed by the ManU/Chesea rumour mill.
I gave a small cheer fo Austrailia this evening after Ian Thorpe beat Pieter van den Hoogenband claim gold in the 200m freestyle final. This is because I have been fed up with Sue Barker et al beating the drum for the American Michael Phelps and his attempt at 8 golds, and ignoring Thorpe. How will they square the circle now?
Also some of the mens gymnastics, I find it incredible what those guys do on the rings, parallel bars and other parts of the rotation.
This will be the last League for two weeks (would you be able to send the the Friday results on to me "Tools - Mail and News - Send Page")

[snorgle]Although the new job is busier, good luck, does this mean you are no longer a public servant?

Strylan limpians
Ruddy 'eck, Inkspot. You reckon Sue Barker's a bit one-eyed! You should see (though best you don't) the press down here. If you thought David Beckham's foot got too much coverage you ought to see what's been happening here regarding Jana Pittman's (sp?) knee! Fair dinkum. A young lass in the Aussie gymnastic team had to come home because of a calf tear and the only coverage I saw was a short mention that she was back in Oz! I suppose they - the press - had to find a replacement for Cathy Freeman. *sighs* As you have undoubtedly noticed Australia is extremely weak in what is termed 'Track and Field'. In fact they are hopeless - at least in the greater scheme of things.

How would you like the Celebdaq chart captured? I can easily just save the whole kit and caboodle via the 'view source' or any part of it I suppose. An image is a bit big. Let me know and it shall be done. The only other question is when? I am usually around the computer just as the dividends are distributed - is that what you're after?
Hrmph!
Right, I've just read your posting. Now I only need the timing and where to send it. I'm assuming it's gareth_penn (insert an at symbol) supanet dot charlie oscar mike.
what sports?
[Inkspot] I appear to have watched the same series of events you did, albeit commentated in French, which was both odd and a relief (see Dujon's comment). The vaulting 'horse' appears to have mutated since a couple of years ago. Weird shape.
Merkin Commentary
[Phelpsness] Golly, if you think Sue Barker's bad, try watching NBC! Ghastly. It's like there are no other athletes except Americans in the races. And watching the gymnastics last night, the only team that got decent coverage was the US. Fair enough up to a point given that the Americans were in with a shout, but they showed hardly any of the winning Japanese until the last bit where the Japanese actually secured their victory.

Is the BBC any better? Well no, not as far as mindless jingoism goes, but at least they aren't filling half their broadcast time with adverts so there is more space to show other competitors.

Question: is the BBC showing any fencing? I was hoping to see some of it, but it's only on cable here which we do not have, and there is no streaming video to speak of here either.

serving the public
[Inkspot] I'm still a civil(ish) servant - now working in the WAG - Welsh Assembly Government. I'm in a Programme Management Office - and am also managing risk. ***shrugs***
[snorgle] Don't let my father here you say you work for the Welsh Assembly, I will occassionally when we visit; it's light the blue touch paper and watch the fireworks. Last weekend I did it with hospital waiting lists and the new debating chamber.
[Dunx] They only showed the fencing during the morning update, but very much blink and you miss it. They did include an interview with the coach and the unfortunate woman who lost in the sabre.
Today they have shown the rowing and cross country horse riding. This evening being given over to the womens gymnastics; I managed to catch up on the ironing while watching CSI and CSI:Miami. Has the beach volleyball been on yet?
[Dujon] Yes that's me, please send them anytime on Friday after the div's have been paid. I will do the tables whe I return. Much appreciated.
[Inkspot] It shall be done.
WAG
(snorgle) My niece works for the Wales Rural Observatory Project, whose data apparently lands up in the WAG. She showed me her Master's and PhD theses; I couldn't understand a word, mainly because of the jargon. I couldn't say anything of course, because she's fond of her Uncle T, as I am of her. :-)
WROP
What an intriguing name. Do they sit on top of Mt.Snowdon watching Mrs.Trellis through a telescope?
WROP - CAMREC
I wonder if there are any links between the two? Could she have stumbled upon an insidious plot to subvert this doyenne of MC through devolutionary subterfuge? Or are these just the ramblings of a demented conspiracy theorist?
Surveillance
[Dujon] No sign of Mrs Trellis from the summit of Snowdon, as my photo's from Monday 02/08 testify...
61 going on 16
I'm in a state of shock! Last night my Mum revealed that she's going speed dating tonight! At first I thought she was trying to come out to me (and that would have been even more of a shock) but then it became apparant that she's going to meet lots of men! I didn't realise that speed dating had reached sleepy Shropshire, and nor did I know that there were special night for the over 50s. Anyone out there been speed dating?......
skimpy Speedos
[Lib[ I'd be interested to know how she gets on... I'm considering it myself!
[Lib] Yes - my brother!
WROP
(Dujon, LotUS, Uncle K) It's a sociological and economic survey. As for Mrs Trellis, I would have thought she lived in somewhere like Llandudno or Colwyn Bay, rather than out in the country.
Pete Strange
Humph's trombonist and arranger, Pete Strange, has died aged 65. I knew him a little. He was a tubby aimiable boozy little fellow and a very good player. There's a big obituary in today's Grauniad.
It's a bit moist out.
Trellis
[Rosie] As I mentioned on Orange when I got back from holiday, I did observe Trellis in the village of Corris.
Fenced
[Inkspot] Yes, there was a very brief bit of fencing on last night, which I assume they showed because an American won gold in it. It was nice to see, actually, although I would have liked to have the whole bout rather than the edited highlights (I mean, each point only takes a few seconds - could they not have spared a couple of minutes more?) if only because then I could have figured out the science fiction costumes a bit better. But, slight point of pride here: the winner comes from Beaverton, OR just down the road from where we live.

There's been beach volleyball on, although curiously only the women.

Mrs Trellis
(Uncle K) Surely actually seeing Mrs Trellis is the equivalent of unearthing the MC Rulebook.
Strange Pete
rosie] I hope you have played a few slow new orleans funereal bars in his honour ?
Pete
I was amazed recently to learn that Humph is generally credited with the first ever British blues record (Bad Penny Blues) - although as I type this it suddenly occurs to me that I'm sure I know of a British cover of My Man Of War from the early 1940s, so perhaps it's not an entirely accurate credit. But it was great. I suspect that Pete would have been too young to have played on it, though.
Pete's age
Yup, if he died this week aged 65, then in the 40s he was only just old enough to smoke ;o)
Not so fast
[pen] The speed dating has stalled, postponed till next week. [rab] So, how did your brother get on?
Strange Pete
(st d) He had a female friend, a singer, (not a girlfriend) who gave him a lift to the pub where he played in Carshalton every now and then. She always called him Strange Pete but it was friendly. He didn't play New Orleans style, more of a mainstream player. He was always very friendly and slightly tipsy, enough so after one gig to let me have a little tootle on his brand new horn, of which he was very proud. With an instrument like that I could be quite good. Mm . . maybe. I'll miss his cheerful face, to say nothing of his playing.
boom-tish.
Rosie] are you telling me you blew his horn ?!? (oblig.)
ow.
[st d]Thank you for that disturbing mental image. thpppppppttt!!!
fenced in
[Dunx] there was a lot of fencing shown here on French TV earlier in the week (sorry, have been too busy to say till now). The French were doing well in a couple of events at the time, funnily enough.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Hmm, quiet in here, innit? Has anyone else read A Gathering Light? I just started it as I'm supposed to be going to a book club on Wed. I actually have found it somewhat annoying so far, but I've only read a couple of chapters. Hopefully it gets better.
Why is it I have a cold any time I come back from anywhere interesting? Foreign germs I guess...or maybe because it rained in Rome and Edinburgh only when I chose to step outside the door....well, either way it sucks! :( Reviews for our show were initially shocking! But then, they went on the first night, and going by the standards of the first night I personally think they were being very kind. (No tech & no dress rehearsals in-venue, the in-house techies buggered up all the lighting & sound, which is sort of integral really, and everyone else forgot their lines. We had to cut bits as we went along because we were so behind time - I'm not surprised they didn't like or follow it cos I couldn't either and I was on stage!) But as of Tuesday we were on fire and the people sensible enough to come after that liked us - we had 30 people in on Wednesday, which was our best night by far! Hooray! I think they said we had 120 or something during the week, which by Fringe standards isn't bad, and Fest magazine (http://www.festonline.co.uk/review.php?id=303) gave us 3 stars, which is more than they gave Ed Byrne, and recognised the genius that is my friend Brad. So, as the director's dad said when he was taking all our cast photos...."bugger The Scotsman!" :)
Although, in hindsight, we were in Scotland at the time so I hope not too many people heard us! :)
bravo
sounds like you had a good time all in all ZK. So do you have the festival bug then ?
I can't seem to play any of the games in here at the moment. *whimper*
Festen
Ah, good old Fest. The deputy editor's a friend of mine, so thank your lucky stars ZK you weren't rude about it!

[svitc] Because they're too hard, or technical problems with posting.

D'oh.

I just don't have any inspiration/wit/wisdom, nothing technical.
[small] Fear ye not, I haven't played any of the games for about 2 months. No-one seems to have noticed! :)
[ZK] Do not think yourself ignored - you said where you going, so notice would have been redundant.

Glad you're back though.

How can anything be redundant when it wasn't dundant in the first place?
I must object. I have, on occasion, been dundant. [Dunx] Thankyou, although I just meant that the only game I'd been on in ages was this one, as my humble brain has burn-out and can't cope with the other ones :)
[ZK] Well, not at all a bad notice from Fest, who even note your youth, although whether that's good or bad is perhaps moot. Very good to see you back though.
Wish we were there
Had a postcard from Bob the Dog and family yesterday (who if you remember have gone to Cornwall for a holiday). The postcard had the simple message, "WET!".
"Carrot!"
Clearly monolexemia runs in the family.
[Projoy] When do you want that Dracula vid back btw?
Drac
I have some DVDs in now, so you could swap it for one of those if you like.
Slottage
On the grounds that a new game slot has been left open for days, I've dropped the game limit to 10, which is any case is a nicer number than 11.
10/11
That's a pretty sweeping statement rab. Would you care to back that up or are you just going to go around willy-nilly declaring some numbers to be more nice than others ? I think we should be told. It's a slippery slope you know. First its "oh 10 is nicer than 11" next thing you know its 4am and the police have smashed in your front door and you are in teh back of a lorry with a sack over your head being shouted at in Welsh.......
Re: shouted at in Welsh - I think I just was :)

That said, the number 11 sends shivers down my spin on account of its being the typical size of a group of butch ladies brandishing hard sticks.

rab] and what is wrong with dutch ladies ?
11 game slots? It's ridiculous. It's not even funny.
Numerologically, 11 is a much better number than 10.
... and 11 is the number of TimTams in a packet...
No, 11 may have a certain richness compared to ten, but is horrible as it is nearly 12 but not quite, and 12 is the best number. It is also the number of Apostles left after Judas quit (despite 1 Cor 15:5). And it's a prime number, which is bad. Ten is more satisfying all around.
Yes, but asserting the supremacy of 10 is to glorify the Western decimal system of counting over other, equally valid, numerical systems from other cultures, which have been marginalised by the patriarchal hegemony of the Western attitudes to number, particular the oppressive and unholistic notion of the integer. You might as well stage a Nazi revolution, frankly, as say 10 is good. I favour the number bleen, which in Afro-Sino-Mesoamerican cultures, represents, of course, the number that is blue.
I vote that we
all change to hexadecimal. I like letters.
Why Stop At Sixteen?
Let's use base 36! It would use the entire Latin alphabet, and would have many opf the advantages of base 12 (ie lots of easy to use fractions). And numbers would be shorter to write down, so we would save on ink and paper.
The real reason...
The best bit about base 36 is that I would be 11 again... although, being 25 in hex sounds quite promising too.
Base 60
For superhumans, Heinlein ("Gulf") suggested that base 60 would be suitable. With the 60 digits also doing duty to represent the 60 phonemes of a new language, there would be 216,000 words of just three letters, most of them monosyllabic. With the speed of speech and thought this would make available, effective lifespan would be extended by many times.
All your base..
That sounds exciting - it would certainly make life easier for rappers and poets..
TenTams
[Flerdle] 11 TimTams to a packet? The only packet I ever see has a hole in the cellophane and only 10 in it. BTW, The National TimTam vault is now replenished. They're back in the country.
[Raak] Are there 60 phonemes which the human voice can produce? I thought there were far fewer. (And I wrote a speech synth once, if that gives me any credibility, which I doubt!)
[Darren] Many more than that, if you add up the inventories of all human languages. Of course, you might have to be a superhuman to reliably distinguish them all. English has between 34 and 50, depending on how you count them.
Back to earth
[Raak] ...or in what base... ;)
I just came back from Tuscany today, a land where I was rained upon for about 45 minutes out of 2 weeks... to a land where it's been the wettest August since 1912, I heard. Ah, good old Blighty.
On another note, I see there are less games available now - is this an EU law, or a gesture against empathy?
grrrr....
[Tuj] I don't know that they are less, but there are certainly fewer of them :-)
Less fewers
Watty] I am a pedant myself, and it doesn't really bother me about less or fewer. Now I look at it, it's slightly ugly... but what makes me reach for the chainsaw is comma splicing (nnng!).
On a lighter note, why are there fewer? If people come up with more games, or ones with prizes / cash incentives, can there be more (or manyer?;) again?
Oh, and no I don't actually have a chainsaw.
[Tuj] How about a hedge trimmer?

What it comes down to is that "less" applies to continuous quantities, where "fewer" applies to discrete quantities. So you have less water but fewer glasses. "More" applies to both, just because English is such a wonderfully rich and evocative language (which is more agreeable than saying it is an inconsistent mongrel of a language).

Less bollocks - fewer bollocks
(Dunx) Dead right; you tell 'em. (the second phrase should be delivered in an aggressive N. Ireland accent). There are other pairs of words that have this distinction, eg "so much" and "so many". So much bollocks (speech by Blair), or so many bollocks (field full of bulls).
*sniggers and tries to imagine what Tuj would look like in motorbike leathers weilding a chainsaw, chased by a herd of curious and galloping bullocks. Struggles to picture Tuj at all, but the galloping bullocks are particularly vivid.*
*Enters arena wearing wet suit and bent tent pole chased by herd of curious and galloping Piskys*

Back from hols and I'm moist. "You'll love camping" I said to NotmrsBobthedog. "The weather is always good in Cornwall this time of year". As we dismantled the tent in a gale with rain heavier than I've ever ever seen it I reconsidered my enthusiasm for fresh air and natural elements.

Post script
Two days after we returned home I asked Notmrs if she'd like to go camping again next year. She said yes. We are planning to go to Scotland. I wonder if she is seeking revenge?
Sunken Kernow
Btd] You weren't near Boscastle at all, were you...?
Bosrubble
I was about 70 miles from Boscastle (near Lands End) on the day of the flood. Oddly enough that day we had very bright sunshine (the best we had for the whole fortnight). We spent the day on a beach. We have a friend in Sennen Cove who told us that during the day 30 cars and two houses had been washed away in Boscastle - but we didn't know whether to believe him due to the as the Cornish habit of telling tall stories - especially to gullible emmets like us. It was after that day that the weather got worse. It was not all bad but we has the tail end of three hurricanes and at least one gale. We didn't get much sleep.
Free Cornish pasty to whoever spots the superfluous "as the" in the above. Pasty may be slightly damp - no refunds or cash equivalent.
does anyone know " which band claims one of their dads was a pirate?" any help would be greatfully recieved
Bob the dog] Between "the" and "Cornish", in line 4. Do you want to give it to me in person or by post? ;)
pen] Ah yes, for I am a mysterious shady figure... (oh, and I don't have any motorbike leathers actually... there is a hedge trimmer in the shed somewhere though...)
grunt] Nope.
Bullocks] Aaaargh!
grunt
That'll be Frankie Poullain, bass player in The Darkness IIRC. A West Indian pirate, I believe
Can I just pop in briefly to say that comma splicing should be a crime punishable by death? Thank you.
thicko alert
[BM] What is 'comma splicing'? Perhaps I know it as something else. I probably do it all the time but need to know in case I'm about to be punished in a terminal sort of way.
Agreeing with Breadmaster
Comma splicing is the ULTIMATE SIN, whereby two sentences are mashed brutally together using a comma rather than a conjunction. It makes you look illiterate. It really gets on my nerves. For instance, if I'd replaced the full stop between 'illiterate' and 'it' with a comma, that'd be an example. One of the worst cases is the use of 'however' mid-sentence, which is nearly always wrong.
- however -
I do not enjoy the over use of acronyms, capital letters, smileys and most of all - jargon.
Tuj] I tried to write your address on the damp pasty but the pen sank into the waterlogged pastry. Fancy a damp steak and Bic doughy object instead?
Jargon is necessary to keep the riff-raff out. One thing that really gets my goat is getting the subjunctive wrong (eg. "if I was" instead of "if I were"). Midge Ure was particularly annoying in this respect.
[Darren] Midge Ure was just annoying, fullstop. Mawkish lyrics, play-by-numbers melodies and the most god-awful moustache that was ever grown.
[Btd] Sorry if my use of smileys is too familiar for your liking :o).
[Tuj] My business is sentence-mashing, however, I think I'm quite artful at it, I've been doing it for ten years. :oP
[penelope] Well, now you have yet another reason to dislike him.
8@()
Pen] Overuse of smileys ;o). I like the occasional :o) but too many leaves me :o(. In particular I dislike those gif file ones that are commonly used on chat sites. Yuk.
Darren] With your permission I will keep your quote "Jargon is necessary to keep the riff-raff out" in my little book of worldly advice to pass on to my offspring. It'll also come in handy at work - especially when addressing farmers.
Laffing with the Riff-raff :-)
[Darren] Your words did rather leap off the screen. I laughed and assumed you were in jocular mode. However, I must confess to being more intrigued by your pet goat, especially one that tell its subjunctive from its elbow. DO tell us more ...
The All-New Educated Riff-Raff
Btd] You have my address? I think I'll go hide somewhere before I decide whether to take up your offer...
pen] Aaargh! That's it! People do that and it's HORRIBLE!
back track
Midge Ure is annoying, period! As am I! Riff Raff makes a great alternative to Tinsle at Christmas.
MCiOS
Anyone know why MCiOS is unavailable?
No, since it's perfectly available right now from where I'm sitting.
[BtD] Permission granted. [Chalky] Yes, I was joking. My goat is got by many things.
is going on his, summer holidays
I'm off to Cyprus for a fortnight. Hopefully things won't go too pear-shaped while I'm away. Have fun, everybody.
I leave for a week....
*decides not to untangle the backlog and goes to bed*
Oh, I can't handle the backlog after just a couple of days. My computer has just dropped dead again, right in the middle of a long and exceptionally complicated operation involving emailing large numbers of people around the world and begging them to contribute to my book. Now I don't have access to the files where I was so carefully logging whom I had asked to do what. The net result will be, no doubt, that I will have 50 contributors all writing the same article. It could get messy. If you hear of theology gang warfare breaking out in the next couple of months, it's all the fault of my computer.
Get a life!
I must stop playing Kingdom of Loathing. I must stop playing Kingdom of Loathing. I must stop playing Kingdom of Loathing. . . . . .
[Boolbar] Was that another subtle advertisement for the game? It's nearly as addictive as Mornington Crescent, isn't it... ;-)
Boolbar, JLE] It is rather good, isn't it?!
backlog
ZooKeeper] I tend to find that if you have been away you might as well give up on reading what everyone has been writing, just scan up a few posts and join in. If anything strikes you as really interesting you can go back and trace it, however this has never happened yet. :¬]
It knids you in the podume. You lose 15LV.
[JLE, UK] Yes it is rather good. Trouble is as the game opens up, the amount of time you can spend on it increases. Now if only someone could write a combination of MC and KOL . . . .
They call it C-SPAN.
Oooooooooooooh
Thanks, rab, Nik, whoever. *sob* I've missed y'all.
It's back - hoorah!
*Lets off fireworks to celebrate reopening*
Well if this doesn't deserve a fresh cup of tea and a choc biscuit or two I don't know what does. Winning the Ryder Cup? Yeah!! make that choccie four biscuits.
yay!
That's better - all games have now been visited.
[Inks] Understatement of the year re: Ryder Cup "I think it's finally been recognised that the Europeans are no longer the underdogs" You gotta laugh :-)
celerations
*throws confetti and smashed champagne all over Mc5*. Anyone for an e-plig tonight? I want to celebrate my free broadband connection!! (but won't be home till about 21.30BST but will defiantly be there after that).
and...
If indeed we needed any additional cause for celebration - Hitch-Hikers 2 is on soon...
Bloing
*posts only to find out what time it is back at home*
Phew!
It's back, I can relax now.
[Bob the Dog] Have you dried off yet?
Boolbar] Yes - just enough to realise that I've missed your Birthday. Many Happy Returns of the day! *Wonders what are "returns of the day"?*
[BtD] I think it means "I hope the day of your birth returns happily year after year after year after yea ...." You get the picture?
[Boobah] *belated birthday hug*
[Chalky] Surely there's a bit of "hope you'll be there to see how said day returns year after year after ye...", too?
The return, people's birthdays, and joie de vivre
*does celebratory dance*
yay!
It's back, from Outer Space..
[Néa] That's it!
Not old
[BtD] Luckily I missed it too.
Not only is it back, but for some weird reason I no longer have to jump through hoops to get into the site. Is this permanent I ask myself?!
askance
Darren, why not ask us? We don't mind, really..
dialogue
.. and you never know - we might reply!
askanology
we might give the wrong answer - but that's the chance you take :o)
Dialogance
Darren] Do you literally mean 'jump through hoops', I ask myself... ;]
self help
[Tuj] Why not ask us? We can probably answer that one.
Is this "Females have all the answers day" ?
[Boolbar] Yes.
dialoganology
And lets face it; today is no different to any other
Fitzgerald
Do you have a right to sing the blues ?
mentary
Yes
OK, is it permanent? It's still working though. [Tuj] No, not literally. But having to use a different browser (in other words, the dreaded IE) to get to MC5 was annoying.
[Darren] Cor, lighten up... at least say yes! Or maybe you have jump over a desk or something...
[Tuj] You've clearly never seen my house. The prerequisite of jumping over furniture goes as read with anything I say.
sofa straddling
[Darren] ... and you never know where it might lead you ...
Chaise Longue Jump
*rofl*
Next thing you'll be telling me that bobsled champions start out by sliding down the stairs in an old sleeping-bag. Like I used to do.
[Darren] No, they use tea-trays.
[Darren] Ah, ya wuss ;) I used to do it without anything! Although I have to say sleeping bags do make it faster.
Er, tobogganning down the stairs, that is.
more chicks

*slight interuption*
As MC5 returns so does a little something else Celebrity Mornington Crescent with this Fridays results, the congratulations go to the girls on top Chalky at Nos1 and 2 assisted by snorgle at 3. Is this a conspiracy?
This week the long shot is Rebecca Loos. Listed on the daq she will be taking part in the Channel 5 celeb reality show The Farm. She will be joined by Paul Daniels, Debbie McGee, Vanilla Ice and several others to make nine contestants. Safe money would be on Elton John after his 'pig' outburst, but will his shares flatline when they reach £4.12.
*end ineruption*

innocent
I just bought some royal or other..
collude? who ... us?
Both of Me bought some royal or other .. and furthermore - we bought some more with our divis.
Feeling sorry for myself
I've lost my purse. I feel a fool. That'll teach me to leave the house when I'm hungover.... *wimper*
Curses
You'll feel even more so when you get around to the rigmarole of replacing licences, cards and the like, Lib. Bad luck, I sympathise.
Clever clogs
My good wife purchased some shoes - sandal style - some year or so ago. They were a bit tight so she wore them around the house for a day and put them away. Today she decided to become adventurous and wore them for a trip to one of the local shopping centres which involved walking around for about one (1) hour. These are the shoes. If you didn't laugh you would cry.
ah yes.
Apparently polyurethane soles have a habit of disintegrating if not worn, especially if they're stored in warm or somewhat moist conditions (eg most of Australia is one or the other). I'm not sure if it's just outer p-u or if it's the foamy matrix that's often within the sole for cushioning. My Dad used to get new shoes through work each year but often didn't wear the new pair for a while, and after a year or two of storage they would self-destruct exactly like that. Cold comfort, I know.
More disasters
Thanks for the sympathy. I've lost my wallet before so I try not to carry much stuff. Have found out that someone tried to use my credit card but failed just after the time I must have lost it. Humph.
And today's disaster is that my heating and hot water aren't working. Woke up to a cold shower. What a good start to the week. Am trying not to dwell on that fact that disasters normally come in threes.....
I have no electricity today for some unexplained reason. However, I've given up carrying a wallet since the last time I lost it, so there's still hope.
[Lib] you poor thing. Here, have an aspririn.
And a propos nuffink, just spotted this on the message board of the website of the local paper I used to work on... it drew such a vivid picture for me and I just had to share:
"on sat 12 july in skegness at the beach nite club met stunningly attractive female from louth but u had to go to get back on a minibus. i was the man shooting u with water pistol. we kissed then u left please get in touch". Awwww
Threeness
On return from the US I discovered that my CD player has developed rheumatism, the broadband router had died and the office desktop PC had lost its will to talk to the network. So it seems indeed that these things come in threes.

Nothing too serious though - the CD player seems to be healing itself, the router sprang back into life when I plugged it into a different socket (though the fact that the original socket has proven itself since fully functioning is somewhat mysterious) and the IT support had some stern words with my desktop until it started behaving itself.

I blame heavy electricity; or, if wet, GM crops.

[Lib] eeeek! [pen] That is SO cute.
electric socks game
I went to the Tate on Sunday and there was a painting by Peter Blake called "Self-Portrait With Badges". My mum turned to me and said "I knew I should have worn my glasses; I have just been looking at that and thinking 'I can't see any badgers'."
hahaha!
[std] That's much better than your other joke.. :)
Thanks again for being so nice. Have cash from trip to bank. Have attempted to fix central heating (nice plumber told me how) but its not playing. Oh well, cold showers are good for the soul, so I'm told.
[pen] That's quite desperate of the bloke/boy. She must of made quite an impression. Maybe it was the wet tee-shirt!
the things mums say
I thought I would share with you something my mum said that had us all in stitches. She went with my dad who is now 72 to get him some new glasses. He had the tests and all that and mom chose some new frames for him. He nearly had a fit at the price but mum told him not to be such an old miser and things are expensive these days. Dad moaned a bit, but capitulated and bought them. My mum relayed this story to my sister and told her the price. Even my sister was taken aback at the expense and said to mum "Mum, are you sure they are not designer frames or something?" Mum looked puzzled and replied "No they weren't designer frames, they were called Arniemarni or something" She is priceless.
Beware Greeks
(With apologies for the cross-post and rather late announcement)

I have 3 spare tickets (stalls) for the matinee performance of Berlioz's "The Trojans" by the English National Opera tomorrow (Wed 29th Sep @ 5pm). I was wondering if anyone was able to join me for this - one of only 5 performances of a show which has apparently won the 2004 Olivier award for Best New Operatic Performance. Details of the show can be found at www.eno.org

If anyone is interested please contact me on oneiros_sama[at]hotmail[dot]com. First come, first served.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled chat game.

breaking the silence
Well... quiet in here, innit?
Yes it is!
I'm hoping to get hot water tonight. The plumber is coming! Headlight also went on car (completing my triplet of disaster) but the very dishy student doctor fixed it for me. Bless!
Gosh, Lib, it's an absolute litany of disaster (I wonder, incidentally, why "litany" always has negative connotations these days - a litany of disaster, a litany of crimes, etc). I have a colleague whose bathroom fell into the flat beneath some time ago and for months she had to come to work early to have a shower there. So it could be worse...
wet and warm
*dances around crescent naked having just got out of shower*. I like hot water!
warm and erm..
Towel?
Gerrof!
I'm enjoying this.
fully clothed today
*waves at the boys*
Spoilsport
*sulks*
Brollies Inc
It's raining! Today is Friday. On Wednesday we had 12mm of rain. Thursday we had about the same and today we've had 25mm or a bit more since this morning (it's about 1420K as I type. Lovely steady rain as opposed to torrential downpours. Ya-friggin'-hoo.
P'raps you could this ) back for me if you'd be so kind. . . Ta.
sunny
with some cloud. but still nice! except I have a cold. bleah.
Boring grey weather. Bring back the rain! It was nice and melancholy the other day. Very atmospheric.
Many different shades of grey type weather with optional wet bits. Lovely.
Weather
(BM) Atmospheric weather, eh? You're getting there. Sorry to jump on you like this. :-)
Boring
Sorry about the hurrah over the weather, but it's been a bit dry here.
I suspect that I may have an ally here in Breadmaster as in my part of the world today is the BIG day as far as a sport called rugby league is concerned. Heaven only knows how many trees have been sacrificed in the lead up to this world event and yet, as if that were not enough, a number of radio stations and at least one television broadcaster are commencing their so-called coverage of this pivotal point of history at noon. The game itself starts at 19 o'clock.
Does this sort of thing happen in the U.K. or the U.S.of A. or, for that matter, Canada?
sports coverage
I remember when I was a child, they used to run incessant football (american) coverage around Christmas and New Year's! I think it was the Rose Bowl - horribly boring.
Bori...zzzzzz
[Dujon] Hard to say, since one would have to experience both to compare. However, I think I'm right in saying that inter-club tournaments can easily be avoided in the UK (in a way that international ones cannot). That is, you can't get away from the football World Cup, but it's easy never to hear anything of the Premiership. I knew nothing of it before working at Sky and was, moreover, compeletely unaware of the existence of similar leagues and suchlike in rugby (or in cricket, come to that). Whereas I don't think I ever saw a newspaper in New Zealand, local or national, that didn't have rugby on the front page.
backstage gossip
(Apologies for cross posting) In case you didn't receive the last email we sent out, we'd like to let you know that there are still 289 tickets left for sale for the recording of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" at the New Theatre in Hull on Saturday 23rd October.
If these tickets have not sold by next Wednesday (6th October) we will advertise them formally.
So, if you'd like to buy tickets for this show, then try to do so by next Wednesday. The ticket prices are £10, £8.50 and £6.50. The show starts at 7.30pm (Doors open 7pm). The box office is open from Monday to Saturday from 10am to 5pm. The box office number is 01482 226655.
Also, in a previous email, we advertised Linda Smith's one-woman show at the Playhouse Theatre in Weston-Super-Mare on Thursday 7th October. Due to illness, Linda has regretfully had to cancel the performance. If you bought tickets, we suggest to telephone the box office on 01934 645544.
Have the Converƒation ƒtoppers ƒinally ƒtopped?
Conversation ftoppers
(Raak) No great loss if it has. Ye kindeft thing you can say about that game was that it didn't show certain people at ye beft.
"Criminal damage, I tell you!"
In the course of my work this morning, I went to inspect an empty Council property, to which we had attached metal screens over the doors and windows for security. As I was about to unlock the screen over the front door, I looked up and saw, scrawled in black permanent marker:

MC
CHALKY
04


Any explanations, Ms Davenport...?
KD was here
Eeek! I've been rumbled.
*rofl*
Two Wheelers
*Cross-Posting Alert*
ATTENTION MOTORBIKE/SCOOTER RIDERS
We, the research consultancy I work for, are looking for new bikers [commuters or enthusiasts] to participate in focus groups around the UK. We have sorted Birmingham, but still have a few vacancies for London Groups [12/13 Oct], Newcastle [19/20 Oct], Bristol [28/29 Oct] and Manchester [2/3 November]. All evenings. Fee of £30 paid for about an hour and a half. If you or any of your mates are interested please email me kedavenport at the hotmail address, but need to warn you that I'm on holiday for a week beginning 11th Oct.
McGreetings
Managed to slap down a holding deposit on a nice flat convenient for my new place of work this morning... At least I think it's nice: certainly seemed very pleasant and spacious as I was walking around it, though I couldn't remember if it has a washing machine (the agent assures me it does). Then again - I couldn't remember if it has a sink either (but I didn't ask the agent that). So, once I've bribed my current landlord into writing me a good reference, I should be sorted. Moving up at the end of the month.. oh what fun (not).
Bikers
(Chalky) Do I take it that you are no longer engaged in elegant scribal activity?
Geordie joke
I saw this in the letters page of the Grauniad a few days ago. A woman walks into a hairdresser's in Ashington, Northumberland, and says, "I'd like a perm". The hairdresser replies, "Ah wandered luuurnly as a cloud. That's Wordsworth, y'knaa".
C V
[Rosie] Indeed I am - still calligraphing and chalk-scribing and the occasional line drawing. However, I now do lots of freelance work for a research consultancy so find myself embroiled in activity mainly connected with Exhibitions & Shows. September was Computer Games, then the Printing Industry, plus a bit of Royal Agricultural Society work. This month is Motorcycles & Scooters, then Paris [holiday] and then ... Recycling Waste Management. I can hardly wait.
C V
[Chalky] You had dealings with the RASE? You poor bugger.
Unusual tenants
[Rab]'Has it got a sink?' would be a fairly normal question in my experience as a landlady - my new tenants have just written to ask me what the rules are on hanging picture frames and pets in the house. They seemed like such a lovely couple, but the latter request is really against my principles and sounds as though it could get messy.
rab's whereabouts
[rab] good news about the gaff. Are you still in Embra or have you returned to Mancland?
pets
At least they're asking - unless it's because their cat has just had kittens and they want to keep them all.. ;)
[Ella] I'd get the RSPCA onto them if they're hanging pets on the walls.
geordie hairdresser, continued.
.....so the woman says "You don't understand, I want my hair curled." So the hairdressed puts her head in his fridge.

A scottish man walks into a baker's shop and asks "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" The baker replies: "Naw, yer right enough, it's a doughnut".

Animal Cruelty
[Dunx] That was my concern! Obviously I need to learn how to express myself more clearly through the medium of the written word or alternatively improve my sense of humour!
[Ella] ... or I need to read posts properly before I write. I hadn't woken up yet and just didn't notice your very well-expressed joke.
Sleepyhead
I'm back in Manc now, having caught up with my new (and, yet, somehow, old) colleagues last night at the annual poster session (which essentially is a front for a booze-up). [Ella] I'll check about the sink - welcome by the way.
Thank you
[Dunx] I can sympathise! It usually takes me a good few hours before I remember who I am in the morning let alone how to read and write. [Rab] Thank you for this fantastic site. I happened on it whilst searching the web for bedroom furniture (?!) and as you may tell, am now completely hooked. I do feel as though I've gate crashed a party full of old friends though - hope you don't mind!
welcome!
[Ella]My apologies for being thick about your post.. and I'm not that old!
*waving*
Hello Ella, welcome! Hope soon you'll feel part of the party!
Mornings
(Ella) I know what you mean about mornings. Being retired, I have decided to do away with them entirely, but it only postpones the befuddlement. Welcome to the asylum, which is of course run by the inmates. BTW I'm a bloke.
bedroom furniture???
[Ella] Welcome.
[Ella] All old friends were once new friends. Welcome. BTW I'm a spiny anteater from New Guinea.
[Ella] Welcome and .... oops! quick got to go line manager on the loose.
Welcome Ella
Searching for bedroom furniture . . . it makes a change from "Jade Goody Nude".
Hello Ella
No, if she'd wanted Jade Goody Nude she'd have ended up at MC in Outer Space. MC5 is a decent site with none of that filth, despite our best efforts. (Note for the uninitiated: a look at the "Google hits" info on the MCIOS screen reveals a distressing number of people who not only search for Ms Goody as God made her but thereby find their way onto the MCIOS page. No-one knows why.)
Jade Goody Nude
Yes, I don't know why Dan doesn't just rename the site.
jade goody nude
Breadmaster] Imagine my surprise when I did a google search on "jade goody nude" and searched through for MCiOS, and LO AND BEHOLD, I found that IT WAS YOU that was linked to.......
kafkaesque zebrafish
thanks to all of you for making me spend teh last 30 minutes trying to find a GOOGLEWHACK. But hey - I suceeded !. Never again.
Whacky
[st d] You recall this of course?
[Ella] Will you be frequenting the other MC sites too?
[St D] Splendid! I knew my crusade (consisting solely of repeating the phrase JADE GOODY NUDE as much as possible) would bear fruit...
[Bm] Do you do it in real life too, then?
[All] Thank you for a very warm welcome! [Darren] I've just spent some considerable time following the links to some of the other sites. Consequently, I've cancelled all appointments I had made with the outside world for the next year in order to give myself at least a slight chance of keeping up with all of the MC banter and games available. Who needs a family/job/friends anyway?
*ding dong* Paging Chalky
[Chalky] Did you get the mail I sent you (to both addresses) last night?
*ping*
[rab] YES! *OOPS - TURNS OFf caps lock*
Was 'called out on business' straight from the office which is euphemistically known as 'went to the pub', then crashed [out, not into]. Thanks. Good stuff - am following it up as I type - hence the caps lock. I'm gibbering now. My brain is full up.
arrow_circle_down
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