Ladies and gentlemen, I am not simply going to say 'and now for something completely different' this week, as I do not think it fit. This is a particularly auspicious occasion for us this evening, as we have been told that Her Majesty the Queen will be watching pan of this show tonight. We don't know exactly when Her Majesty will be tuning in. We understand that at the moment she is watching 'The Virginian', but we have been promised that we will be informed the moment that she changes channel. Her Majesty would like everyone to behave quite normally but her equerry has asked me to request all of you at home to stand when the great moment arrives, although we here in the studio will be carrying on with our humorous vignettes and spoofs in the ordinary way. Thank you. And now without any more ado and completely as normal, here are the opening titles : Queensbury, home at Royal Albert.

An explanation of how to 'follow on in topic or style' from the previous move would be helpful at this point. (falls in the water)

Dear Miss. *sniff* Sir, sorry, I have a cold.
The game is simple MC Chalk Farm 84 but with comic ramblings thrown in on each move. If the comic rambling matches up some way to the move, then better still, but it doesn't have to. And with that, I throw in Oval.....and I'll ask you knidly to put down that fish...

Can I just say at this point, Chris, that I have a new theory on the Brontosaurus? *does search for MC Chalk Farm 84*

Would sir prefer something a little more, let us say...Holland Park like? or a slug?..I have a slug.

Oh, Néa's exploded.

Good thing too.

She was my best friend.

Oh, mother, don't be so Sentimental. Things explode every day.

Yes, I suppose so. Anyway, I didn't really like her that much.

Now then now then...this is getting rather silly. Let's carry on with the game now!

Well it's spelt 'Raymond Luxury Yach--t' but it's pronounced 'throatwobbLad brokeGrove'.

Oh Kings Cross

Oh Kings Cross, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society?

'ere, squire, your wife, your wife - does she ever go to Southfields, know what I mean, know what I mean, eh, eh?"

And now for something completely Debden

... does anyone fancy a pint?

Aaargh ... that be a WOMAN'S question.

Leicester Square. That's where I took out my appendix.

Hi! I'm Ed Winchester!

He's down in the cells now, we're holding him on a charge of 'grievous bodily odour'.

It's a far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts, three and in...

Fockcosters declaring Pismronounciation for 3 moves

Arsefull Oh you naughty lad!

Ladies, gentlemen and knights of the realm, may I present without further needle-nardle-noo a small dishevelled child.
*sound effect: heave, splash*
"He's fallen in the Canada Water"

... I'm afraid that I was very, very drunk...

Naaah, fork 'andles. 'Andles f' forks.

'ave you got any "O"-vals?

Yes you did! You invaded Poplar!

So that's one sack of coke, two King's Cross, one pair of pink boobs, and a large bare lady on the house.

This game is no more, it has ceased to be. Bereft of life it rests in peace.

'Ere! 'E says 'e's not dead!

After all, what is bad? I mean, here we are in Lambeth.

I'm afraid God just wants you to have a rotten life. God's like that. He hates poofs.

When things are slow God loves nothing better over a pie and a pint than to beat Satan at Mornington Crescent.

Damn Caruthers I missed .

Now try Mornington Crescent to disarm any opponent coming at you with a banana.

In the words of John Cleese, "when two or three are gathered together in my name then they shall perform the Parrot Sketch"

By their constant repetition knob in the media they become part and parcel and, and pubes of everyday conversation.