...that I was a rock. I lay on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean being carried inexorably towards the Marianas Trench. Nothing much happened for several million years. Then I found myself being carried deeper and deeper as I reached the Philippine Plate, forcing the edge of the Pacific Plate down towards the fiery heart of the globe. As miles of rock ground above me, the heat remoselessly increased until my consciousness began to flicker and dissolve...
...that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. But then I woke up to find...
...I am once more a very sleepy sausage roll gazing into the twinkling eyes of a foraging bear, who is pilfering through the camps freezer. As I am crammed down the bears gullet, I can only hope the next stage of my journey will be a brief one, and I will quickly metamorph into a lovely multi-colored mushroom what adorns the forest's temporal floor. I dream...
...will I dream that I am a dream-interpreter understanding all dreams and able to explain to Wymo and Falstaff that their dreaming of food just indicate they are hungry and should get up to get something to chew on or they had too much food the night before and must avoid this if they want to get a good nights sleep dreaming that…..
Marc you are a fraud (not a Freud like me!) and your dream-interpretation stinks! How dare you poke fun at one of the most important sciences we have left in this cruel world? Beside this your infantile interpretation of the remarkable dreams of a few of the most distinguished contributors to this wonderful site is ridiculous and actually not worth commenting. Hopefully your brutal attacks to this site has not scared off the serious contributors or awaken the dreamers so they will not post their next couple of dreams…..
...and it seemed to me that I awoke, though still I slept, and I awoke to a great tumult and din, and I saw DEATH, who bore a scythe, and went mowing men, and they did flee from him, but escaped not. And I was sore perplexed how I might avoid that fate. And I spied a light afar that shone down from the sky, and at the place whereon it shone there was erected a Sign, like unto a great letter O bisected, and a Voice spake unto me, saying, "Here is the means whereby one may escape the fate that I have shown you, yet few are they who attain it." And the light was extinguished, and the Sign was not to be seen, and I was so plunged into despair that at once I swooned and lay as if dead. And while lying thus, I received a further vision...
...that I was blind, and had to feel my way around a network of tunnels full of wizards and strange beasts. I longed to be able to see them, as I was bewildered by the texture of their scaly, slimy, sticky skin. The beasts' skin was almost as bad. As I passed through a junction between two particularly rough-walled tunnels, I heard a voice behind me, chanting in a language I did not understand. He must have been performing powerful magic, because my energy was drained and I fell against the jagged wall. Despite its uncomfortable nature, I fell into a deep sleep in which...
...I dreanmt that I was a mounted soldier, riding around outside Buckingham Palace. I was concerned with repelling errant pigeons who were flying all over the place, mainly by waving my arms and the sword I was carrying. A senior officer came and congratulated me and said I would be rewarded by having tea with the Queen. Entering the hall of the Palace, I was greeted by a tall butler, who showed me through to a huge room containing merely one small table for two, on one side of which sat Queen Victoria. As I sat she began to talk. Resting my elbows on the table, her words on current politics washing over me, I drifted off... I dreamt...
...I was Prince Albert on my wedding night. Queen Victoria was stood in front of me, clad in only... but I couldn't bear to approach her! The smell! Oh, dear Lord, the rancid, vile stench! I reeled backwards in a swoon. "My dear Albert," she cried, "what is the matter?" But as she walked towards me, I fell backwards again, and again, until I had collapsed on the floor. I tried to stand up, but the smell... the horrific reeking stink, such an odour I have never experienced and hope never to experience again. It permeated my every sense, and my mind, and I lost consciousness, only to dream...
...that I wandered in Slough, and was sunk in great Despond, not knowing whither I should go, that I might be saved. And I encountered an aged woman, who wore a cloak, and on her cloak was that Sign of the bisected circle that I had seen for but a moment, and far off. And I spoke unto her, asking who she might be, and what was the meaning of that Sign which she shewed. And she replied, "How are you, I'm Mrs. Trellis. Would you like a cup of tea?" And I trembled at that Name, and once more swooned...
...to find I was a lemon scented car freshener hanging from the rear view mirror of a Mk II Austin Allegro (one of those with the "square" steering wheel circa 1979). Sadly, the car was being scrapped and my lemon-scentedness had declined to barely nothing so I'd been left in the car. A sudden noise made me realise not just that the car was about to be crushed, but also that this was an alarmingly sentient state of affairs for an inanimate object. The shock and fear made me pass out, and I dreamt...
...that my foot was set upon the Way with assurance, and as I walked in that strait way, I met another man whose body was strangely bent. "Who art thou?", I asked. And he replied, "I am Half-Twist, and I am bound for Lancaster Gate. Shall we walk together?" But I replied to him, "Is it not writ in that Little Book that informeth us of the Destination and the Way thereto, that those who half-twist to that place shall meet with ruin and destruction? Change thy way, I beseech thee, and walk a better." But he scorned me, and cast me into Knip, and I could not escape. Then I might have despaired, but I remembered that saying that says, when the diagonals are closed, inaction is the strongest action. So I sat down, and farkled awhile, and at length fell asleep and dreamed...
...that I'd woken up. Or had I in fact woken up? I wasn't sure, so I attempted to get out of bed, only to realise that despite being in my bed I was not in fact in my bedroom, but on top of a mountain. Satisfied I was still dreaming, I snuggled back under the covers and dreamt...
. . . my best friend fell in love with a giant white octopus that lived in the pond near her house. She would ride on one of it's arms every day and she would bounce up and down and get really wet and not care.
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