Ummm...I don't know how to tell you this. We got you mixed up with another Mr. Smith who's come in for a vasectomy...the one we mistakenly just finished doing on you instead. But don't worry, we will bind up your sprained ankle for free.
Class, with the unwilling assistance of Mr. Falstaff here, I will now demonstrate for the benefit of you first year medical students why it is NOT best to perform an autopsy on a freshly deceased middle-aged man before rigor mortis has set in.