You've got osteoporosis, incipient Alzheimer's, a weak heart, high blood pressure, risk of stroke, a dodgy prostate, emphysema, and a crop of stomach ulcers, but look on the bright side, you're in perfect health for a man of 92.
Ummm...I don't know how to tell you this. We got you mixed up with another Mr. Smith who's come in for a vasectomy...the one we mistakenly just finished doing on you instead. But don't worry, we will bind up your sprained ankle for free.