Did I ever tell you I'm a medical history buff? I collect 17th century surgical instruments and like to perform procedures as practised in that era. In fact I plan to repair your hernia using the exact technique of abdominal surgery I found yesterday in an old 1638 surgical manuscript. But first we'll have to draw blood for some tests. Don't worry, you'll just feel a slight pinching sensation as this leech latches on.
Hi, I'm the new optometrist here. Don't worry if you can't read the eyechart too good. I can't either. I'm horribly dyslexic, you see. So if you see a "C" and I see it as a "G", I'll just take your word for it.
"If you look closely at the screen you will notice two prominent appendages on the head .... yes ... they are horns. That is why, Mrs. Johnson, I said a natural childbirth is out of the question."
Your foot? I'm not too good at feet. I've got a nice, 19th century edition of Gray's Anatomy here; shall we look it up together?Not hilarious but, on the other hand, true.