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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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Happy days sir, your test results are back ... you're pregnant.
"If you look closely at the screen you will notice two prominent appendages on the head .... yes ... they are horns. That is why, Mrs. Johnson, I said a natural childbirth is out of the question."
Your foot? I'm not too good at feet. I've got a nice, 19th century edition of Gray's Anatomy here; shall we look it up together? Not hilarious but, on the other hand, true.
Well, yes, the standard procedure would be a referral to a specialist with a view to surgery, but let's face facts, shall we? You've certainly not got half your life ahead of you any more, and operations are pretty expensive. What say we cut our losses here and ask Jesus for salvation?
Take these pills. I'll be praying for you.
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