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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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You need to do a school science project on Electricity? Let me help out with an experiment. Yes, that's correct. Put your left finger in that empty light-bulb socket and then turn on the switch with your right.
Your mama IS your real mama. Your papa, well, I just don't know... You look an awful lot like the postman, don't you think?
You do know you'll end up looking like your Mum/Dad? (delete as appropriate)
The best way to find out where babies come from is to ask your parents as loud as you can. And do it in as public a place as possible so everyone can see how smart you are.
Did I say illegitimate? I don't even know what it means! Ask your dad...
No, I don't mind if you smoke. Do you mind if I fart?
Your dad and your mum have SEX!! Eurgh! I've seen them!! Many times!
Your mother told me that her first divorce was your fault.
I know some good words to say when you're angry with something or someone...
Wow! Pocket aces! Everyone! She's got pocket aces!
In bold... harumph....
Would you like a cold beer?
Sure your grandma bakes you nice cookies and cupcakes. But that's just to fatten you up, you see. She's actually Hansel and Gretel's witch in disguise.
Here, read this copy of Leviticus and take these doves and sacrificial instruments to your mother whenever she seems in a bad mood this month.
Why not give the goldfish a cuddle?
Do you think your little sister will fit in the washing machine?
Hello I'm Plump
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