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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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What do you like to do for fun?
Tell me about u!
Do u cam?<
qaDelmeH bov tuj pem vIlo'choHQo'.
SoH 'IH 'ej belmoH law', 'oH belmoH puS.
jar vagh tIpuq DIHo'bogh Sang SuS ro'.
'ej ratlhtaHmeH bov tuj leSpoH luvuS!

Oh, excuse me, let me wipe the spittle off your face.

Apparently, in the long term, there's evidence of dynamical chaos in the Solar System, so let's party, eh?
Are you a prelapsarian or a postlapsarian?
Have you tithed? I'd go for Rosie's line too.
*say nothing, but stare intensely into their face for minutes*
Chalk Farm rules with Turnham's Inversion ok? I'll start with Regents Park.
'Ere, let's play poker. You could ask to see my straight flush. Hur-hur-hur!
Would ye' be wantin' to pet my monkey?
So, when's the baby due?
It takes most of the morning just to get up and fit to face the world.
Oops, mistook the game for another. Hastily tying to salvage the situation...
How I envy you youngsters, it takes me most of the morning just to get up and fit to face the world.
How about:

World's Worst Thing To Say To Someone Else's Children

You'd like to be able to fly? Well, take this umbrella and climb on to the roof. I'll help.
If you end up on the road, make sure you walk on those dotted white lines, because you'll be safe from the cars there
You need to do a school science project on Electricity? Let me help out with an experiment. Yes, that's correct. Put your left finger in that empty light-bulb socket and then turn on the switch with your right.
Your mama IS your real mama. Your papa, well, I just don't know... You look an awful lot like the postman, don't you think?
You do know you'll end up looking like your Mum/Dad? (delete as appropriate)
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