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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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So, when's the baby due?
It takes most of the morning just to get up and fit to face the world.
Oops, mistook the game for another. Hastily tying to salvage the situation...
How I envy you youngsters, it takes me most of the morning just to get up and fit to face the world.
How about:

World's Worst Thing To Say To Someone Else's Children

You'd like to be able to fly? Well, take this umbrella and climb on to the roof. I'll help.
If you end up on the road, make sure you walk on those dotted white lines, because you'll be safe from the cars there
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