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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Is he a regular in the Morniverse?
[Chalky] Hmmm...not in the news as such
[GL] Under 50? Yes
[INJ] Arts/culture? Yes
murmur from audience
[Projoy] <30 ? No
[all] sport? not any more mixture of confused "huh?" and knowledgeable "ah" from audience
[Inkspot] Musician? Yes another murmur
[Irguy] Morniverse? No
Ian Broudie?
[Projoy] Broudie? No
Nigel Kennedy?
[GL] Kennedy? No
Over 40?
Pop music or classical?
[Projoy] >40? Yes
[Dandalf] Pop or classical? Yes

Hint: Music is not how he makes his living.

Is he a politician?
[Raak] Politician? No
Does he make his living as a writer?
Is he a broadcaster?
Yes Pop, Yes Classical or Yes both?
[CdM] Writer? Sometimes
[Rosie] Broadcaster? Hmmm...is probably best known for TV work, if that's what you mean
[Dandalf] pop/classical? Probably a bit of both, but it's not really important.
Is he a celebrity cook/chef?
[Chalky] Cook/Chef? No

[Clarification for Rosie] Broadcaster - if a broadcaster is someone like David Dimbleby, Jeremy Paxman, David Frost, then the answer is No

An actor?
[GL] Actor? Yes - (applause and sighs of relief from audience)
Primarily known as a film actor?
FORGET THAT
Just seen the 'best known for TV work' - So
Primarily known for comedy?
Well known for his sci-fi work?
Hugh Laurie?
Vinnie Jones?
David Tenant?
[INJ] Comedy? Yes
[GL] SF? No
[Rosie] Hugh Laurie? YES!
[Projoy and all] VJ/DT? See above :-)

Congrats, Rosie, we await your teaser with baited breath. Meanwhile, I'd be curious to know how many people knew what Hugh Laurie's sporting background is?


Rowlocks
Well, I certainly didn't. To save other people having to look it up, HL rowed for Cambridge in the 1980 boat race.
out of tune
I didn't realise he was a musician either. Talented chap.
[mutter, fader] Hello!
I've got one if Rosie's busy.
Although it's not 1am yet, so he'll probably be on shortly :)
And here he is . . . .
(Chalky) Not a bad jazz pianist, Mr L.
And the next object is . . . ABSTRACT
A wild guess?
Climate change?
Sociolinguistics?
Gravity?
A human construct?
Or perhaps a natural phenomenon?
String theory?
Light?
(Irg) A wild guess? - Have another one.:-)
(Phil) Climate change? - No (It's snowing here in bleak upland Surrey)
(Néa) Sociolinguistics? - No
(GL) Gravity? - No
(INJ) A human construct? - No
(Chalky) A natural phenomenon? - Yes *a slight ripple of applause*
(Raak) String theory? - No, or brass either. :-)
(all) Light? - No, but *considerable applause*
A rainbow?
Relativity
Cataracts?
Weather-related?
It's been snowing here in bleak upland Farringdon too
Dark?
Does the answer on the card involve "light"?
sunlight?
(Raak) - Not a rainbow
(Projoy) - Not relativity
(Kim) - Not cataracts
(Irouléguy) Weather-related? - Can be, but no more than that
(Gusset Login) Dark? - No
(Tuj) No, but *a little applause* nevertheless
(all) No, but again *some applause*
Moonbeams?
The vernal equinox?
An Eclipse?
The dawn chorus?
Sunrise?
(Raak) Moonbeams? - No, nor polka dots, alas
(INJ) Vernal Equinox - No
(GL) Dawn chorus - No
(all) Sunrise? - No
Sundogs?
It's some bloody weather thing, isn't it? ;-)
Is the light natural (as opposed to human-generated)?
Aurora ?
Optimism?
(Raak) Sundogs? - No, not page 3 girls
(Projoy) Some weather thing? - No, that would be a bit corny. What do you take me for, sir?
(Irouléguy) Could be either ("Light" is not on the card though some would have put it there)
(irach) Not the Aurora
(Chalky) Optimism? - Regrettably yours is misplaced this time.
I'm possibly being a little particular, but everybody has heard of this and knows what it is.
Lengthening Evenings?
Scratch that, how about "starshine"?
Phosphorescence?
Is it anything to do with the passage of time?
(Projoy) Starshine? - No (or lengthening evenings)
(Raak) Phosphorescence - No, but *a slight murmur of appreciation*
(Chalky) The passage of time - No
Radiation?
photosynthesis?
A mirage?
(GL) Radiation - Yes. - Now, which sort?
(Projoy) Photosynthesis? - No
(Irouléguy) A mirage - No.
Electromagnetic Radiation?
infra-red?
Come to think of it, we seldom refer to infra-red light, so perhaps ultra-violet instead?
Step forth, the immaculately-tanned Projoy! ULTRAVIOLET it is. Ironically there's an article about the current tanning fad in today's Grauniad.
Hmmm...
This one might be very easy indeed or a bit of a bastard. It's NOT ANIMAL, VEGETABLE NOR MINERAL and although it is ABSTRACT in one way it's also a real thing.
Gravity?
A tan?
[Raak] gravity, no
[Rosie] a tan, no
That thing called love?
Fiction?
The speed of light?
[all] Luurrve, nope
[GL] Fiction, nope
[Ig] the speed of light, nope
Atmosphere?
Is it just one thing?
[GL] Atmos, no. [Ig] One thing, yes.
Sexual orientation?
How well you know me, dear Raak, but no, it's not that.
Is it s human construct?
Is it q human construct?
[Kim, all] It is neither, nor is it, for the sake of brevity a human construct, or even an human construct.
Can it be seen?
Is it weather related?
Electricity?
Is it a form of sound?
Is it any form of natural disaster?
[Raak] Can it be seen? No
[GL] Weather related... not really, only in the most unhelpful tangential way
[all] Electricity - no
[Raak] Form of sound - no
[Rosie] Natural disaster - debatable, but you could say yes

(Incidentally there have been a couple of answers so far where I perhaps should have used the studio audience, but thought it would make it much too easy. I'll bring them back if it seems like it's too hard)
Global warming?
[Raak] Global warming - Nope.
[Raak] I should perhaps add that a flat "no" to "Can it be seen?" is perhaps a teeny bit misleading. There are some rather specialised senses in which it can be seen, although most people would say that it can't.
Actually, after further thought, I should think even the specialists, when pressed, would say that it can't be seen.
An epidemic?
A soul?
[Rosie] Not an epidemic
[Phil] Not a soul (and my I be damned for all eternity if I ever claim without caveat that such a thing exists!)
A past event?
[Ig] Past event, yes and no. :)
The Big Bang?
[CdM] The Big Bang, no. *murmurs of interest in the audience, who are now back from their tea break*
The Begining?
[all] The beginning, nope.
Any connection with astronomy or cosmology?
The soul? It's a metaphor. Your eternal damnation is on hold :-)
Evolution?
[Rosie] connected with astronomy/cosmology, YES *applause*
[Ig] Evolution, no.
An orbit?
[Raak] An orbit, no. *sound of several members of audience leaning forward at the same time*
Black Hole?
The Universe?
[Phil] Black Hole, YES
[Kim] The Universe? Only the bent parts of it :)
Yikes - two wins now! I think it was the "can it be seen" explanation that triggered the realisation. Anyway, here goes for a new one.

Mineral - with an animal reference

Is it bigger than a toaster?
Cat's-eye (Chrysoberyl)?
A cat-flap?
Pot-shot from 50 yds hoping the goalie's asleep.
[Projoy] Bigger than toaster, Yes
[irach] Chrysoberyl, no
[Rosie] Cat-flap, no
Is it bigger than a tank? A WW2 one, that is.
Is it metal?
A fish-eye lens?
Is there just one of it?
[Projoy] Bigger than tank, yes
[GL] metal, no
[Kim] fish-eye lens, no
[Raak] Just one, yes
The Dog Star?
The Horsehead Nebula?
[Projoy] Dog star, no
[GL] Horsehead nebula, no
Is this a sea or ocean?
[Chalky] Sea or ocean, no
A sculpture?
[Chalky] Sculpture, no
Man-made?
[Néa] Man-made, no
A geographical feature?
Pluto?
An astronomical feature?
[Raak] Geog. feature, yes - smallish ripple of applause from audience
[Kim] Pluto, no
[GL] Astronomical, no
A mountain?
Is the animal connection figurative, eg The Old Man of Hoy?
The Cerne Abbas Giant?
Is the animal reference human?
[Projoy] mountain, no - applause from audience
[Rosie] Figurative animal connection, yes - considerable applause from audience
[GL] Cerne Abbas Giant, no
[irach] human reference, yes
Is it in Britain?
[GL] in Britain, yes
Is the human reference a name?
[CdM] Name, yes - applause
The Old Man of Hoy?
Forget that, not really a person's name. How about Arthur's Seat?
[Raak] Hoy, no
[Raak - take 2] YES Didn't think that would go so fast.
V. bsy atm so may only lk in cpl times a day.
M I N E R A L with V E G E T A B L E connections
Bonsai Mountain?
[GL] Molehill? No.
Natural feature?
You nicked my "intellectual property", y' bastard. You'll be hearing from Messrs. Sue, Grabbit and Runne. :-)
[Rosie] Not natural.
A mostly metallic object?
[Rosie] Mostly metallic? Tricky. By weight, yes, by volume, no.
Is it one single object?
[I] Single object? No (in the sense that there are many of these).
Can this be consumed?
[Chalky] Cannot be consumed.
It is bigger than a 'phone box?
Is the vegetable part alive?
[Kim] Not bigger than a phone box.
[GL] Not alive.
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the metallic part a sort of framework?
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[I] (slight murmurings from the audience) No.
[R] No.
[GL] Usually.
Is the vegatable paper?
[Kim] Yes! applause
Is it something to do with money?
[I] Nothing to do with money.
Is it a decoration?
[Rosie] Not a decoration.
A filing cabinet (full)?
An Underground Map?
[Dandalf] No.
[Phil] No, not much metal in one of those.
I was thinking of the sort on display on a tube station, but was wrong anyway.
Is the paper for writing on?
[Rosie] (a ripple of interest) Er, yes and no. (the audience appreciates the questionmaster's Solomonic wisdom)
Is the paper for printing on?
[Kim] Er, yes and no. (the audience responds in the same way)
Is the mineral the bit that does the printing/writing?
Is the paper actually part of the object on the card or is it used in connection with the object?
[Dandalf] In connection with. Vegetable connections, remember.
Please may I have a reply to my last question?
A pen?
A fax machine?
[Chalky] No.
[Chalky] Yes.
[GL] no.
[R] No (but the audience have woken up again).
Toner?
Photocopier?
[GL] No.
[all] No. (the audience eagerly anticipate the final chase)
Laser Printer?
Typewriter?
[GL] No.
[Dandalf] No.
A Printing Press?
[Phil] No.
Stereotype?
A scanner?
[Projoy] No.
[Rosie] No.
Polaroid camera?
Invisible Ink?
Shurely not a Gestetner?
A dot-matrix printer?
Mimeograph?
(although in that case, Rosie already got it. All hail Corflu!)
A shredder?
[all] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie] No.
[I] No.
[Néa] No.
[Phil] YES. A paper shredder.
Well, I seem to be getting rather fluky at these lately. OK, I'll try and think up one that could have no ambiguous answers - or could it?

Vegetable

Edible, in the normal sense?
Alive?
[Rosie] Edible? Yes
[GL] Alive? No
Processed?
Is it normally eaten raw?
Bigger than a breadboard?
A carrot?
A nut?
A bread roll?
[Dandalf] Processed? Yes
[Kim] Raw? No
[GL] >Breadboard? No
[Néa] Carrot? No
[Inkspot] Nut? No
[all] Bread Roll? A careful No - enthusiastic applause
Is bread involved in some way?
A loaf of bread?
A bagel?
[all] bread? yes - more applause
[GL] Loaf of bread? No
Breadcrumbs?
A gingerbread house?
Toast?
A slice of bread?
A Sandwich?
[Tuj] breadcrumb? No
[GL] Gingerbread house? No
[Kim] Toast? No
[all] Slice of bread? Another careful No
[GL] Sandwich? No
Audience starts to doubt that the players will pin this down with wild guesses
I have to go out in an hour or so, but should be back for 9:30pm (GMT)
Was my bagel mouldy?
What is the meaning of life?
Bread and Butter Pudding?
[Raak] Mouldy Bagel? Don't know
[all] Meaning of life? Not sure, but I know the ultimate answer.
[GL] B&B Pud? No
Is it a particular variety of bread?
Is the bread associated with a particular culture?
[Raak] Particular variety? Yes - Audience spontaneously combusts with excitement
[Inkspot] Particular culture? Yes - Audience reaches critical mass
Does this culturally significant variety of bread contain NO *animal* substances?
[Chalky] No animal substances? Hmmm...I'll have to find out...ok, there may be an animal substance, but I have found recipes that exclude it. Apologies to anyone who may have assumed there was no animal involved whatsoever.
Unleavened bread?
Bruschetta?
Pita?
Bara brith?
Ciabatta?
Naan bread?
[all] Unleavened? No
[irach] Bruschetta/pita? No
[Rosie] Bara brith? No, but I can see the logic :-)
[Chalky] Ciabatta? No
[GL] Naan bread? YES
Again, sorry about forgetting the animal content, but well done, Gusset Login!

Gosh I finally got one right.

Animal

Human?
[Kim] Yes
Living?
[Chalky] Living? No
Died in the last 100 years?
A religious figure?
[Projoy] Died since 1906? Yes
[Raak] Religious figure? No
Born in the C20th?
Female?
[Projoy] Born between 1901 and 2000? No
[CdM] Female? No
A scientific figure?
[Irouléguy] Scientific figure? No
Died before 1930?
A performer, of any kind?
[all] Dead by 1930? No
[Rosie] Performer? No
Is he to be found on imdb.com?
Politician?
[Phil] imdb.com? No
[irach] Politician? No
Writer?
European?
[Dandalf] Writer? No.
[Irouléguy] European? Yes.
A sportsman?
Artist?
Any military connections?
Royalty?
[Phil] Sportsman? No
[Dandalf] Artist? No, but he has artistic connections - Audience mummers approval
[Irouléguy] Military? No
[irach] Royal? No
Designer?
Is music a connection?
Film maker?
[Phil] Designer? Yes
[carew] Music connection? No. (But he probably listened to it and I think was mentioned in a song once)
[irach] Film maker? Still no, stop asking
In the world of fashion?
Architect?
[Raak] Fashion? No
[CdM] Architect? Yes - Applause from the audience
Le Corbusier?
[Raak] Le Corbusier? No
Sir Christopher Wren?
[Phil] Wren? No

Summary so far: Human, Male, Architect, Died between 1906 and 2006, born prior to 1901, European, not a film maker.


Correction: Died between 1930 and 2006
Died before 1960?
[Phil] Died before 1960? No
Spanish?
[Raak] Spanish? No
Mies van der Rohe?
Bauhaus school?
[Irouléguy] Mies van der Rohe? No
[Raak] Bauhaus school? Yes - Much applause
Ernst May?
Forget that (sketchy research). Was it Gropius?
[Projoy] Ernst May? No
[Projoy] Walter Gropius? YES

I'd hoped that would take longer to guess, well done Projoy


Rats - I was trying to eliminate Gropius, but mis-read the date. Congrats, Projoy.
Oh damn. Sorry, haven't looked in much today - wasn't expecting to get that one. ** sounds of thinkage **

MINERAL

Man made?
Begins with a P?
Eiffel Tower?
A mechanical device?
Fifth letter is a W?
Three words?
Valuable?
Is there only one of these?
A Bungalow?
Salt?
[GL] man-made, NO
[Tuj] "P...", NO
[irach] Eyeful Tower, NO
[Rosie] Mechanical, NO
[CdM] Fifth letter a "W", NO *titters from audience*
[Ig] Three Words, Depends how articulate you are
[Dandalf] Valuable, NO (subjectively)
[Kim] Only one of these, YES
[Botherer] Bungalow, NO
[all] Salt, NO *the gentlest murmur of interest from just a few members of the audience, as if a light breeze had blown over a doormat*
Ice?
A natural object?
[Raak] Ice, NO.
[Ink] Natural object, YES
The sea?
(more answers this evening, as I'm away from internet this arvo)
[GL] The Sea, NO *some applause*
A body of water?
Is it an ocean?
OK, now I'm *really* going until this evening.
[Ig] body of water, NO
[GL] an ocean, NO
*(but some scattered applause at ocean)*
The White Cliffs of Dover?
The English Channel?
Something on the edge of an ocean?
An island?
Sand?
Coastal wetlands?
The Gulf Stream?
[all] White cliffs, NO
[Ink] Island, NO * a little laughter *
[irach] sand, NO
[Rosie] costal wetlands, NO
[Ig] Gulf Stream, NO *two members of the audience start paying attention again*
Mariana Trench?
Something on the edge of an ocean?
[GL] edge of the ocean, NO, but
[Dandalf] Wow! Excellent bit of intuition. It was indeed the Mariana Trench.
The renewed interest when gulf stream was mentioned somehow triggerred off Mariana Trench. So Ig deserves a share of the Wow! And now for something completely different.....ANIMAL
Michael Palin?
Human?
Alive?
Male?
Mythical?
Palin - NO
Human - YES
Alive - YES
Male - YES
Mythical - NO
Involved with the arts?
European?
Born before 10th March 1976?
Welsh Rugby player?
Arts? NO
European? YES (A slight murmur from the audience)
pre 10/3/76?
Welsh Rugby player? NO
Scientist?
British?
You didn't answer GL's question, by the way. Thanks for the share of the 'wow' - nearest I've come in this game for some time.
Sportsman?
Wayne Rooney?
GL sorry Born pre 10/3/76? YES
Scientist? NO
British? YES
SPORTSMAN? NO
WR NO
Sorry about the poor formatting.
Of a non-European ethnic origin?
(for a value of "ethnic" that might extend to his great-grandparents, say)
Born before 10 March 1956?
[Projoy] non-European ethnic? YES *ripples of applause as audience sits up*
[GL] pre-10/3/56? NO
Paul Boateng?
Appears on TV regularly?
Musician?
[Raak] Boateng? NO
[Projoy] YES *round of applause from audience*
[Inkspot] Musician? NO
Lenny Henry?
[Rosie] LH? NO ripple of applause
A comedian?
Ainsley Harriet
[PJ] Comedian/ -hmmmm
[Phil] Ainsley? Ready, Steady.... YES! Well done and sorry for delay!
I wish I could explain how the name popped into my head - I think it was the "always on tv" aspect with a round of applause. OK, time to think of another.

Vegetable with some Mineral

Ripple of applause for Lenny Henry, might have done it subconsciously, as LH had the title role in CHEF.
Salted peanuts?
Wood that's beginning to petrify?
A club with a nail in it?
Veneered Chipboard?
A household artefact?
A lemon with a sub-machine gun?
Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?
A drink?
Is it edible?
Is it bigger than a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?
Whisky and soda?
A wet towel?
A leek?
[Raak] Peanuts? No
[irach] part-petrified wood? No
[GL] Nailed club? No
[Projoy] veneered chipboard? No
[INJ] household artefact? No
[all] armed lemon? No
[Chalky] CN Cornflakes? No
[Inkspot] A drink? No
[Irouléguy] Edible? No
[Kim] Bigger than box of cornflakes? No
- Audience feels we may be getting somewhere at last
[Raak] W&S? No
[Dandalf] Wet towel? No
[Rosie] Leek? No
- Audience loses optimism
cardboard?
Does it have anything written on it?
Bigger t han a coffee mug?
A container of some sort?
A bowl of cornflakes?
A bowl of cornflakes?
Oops sorry - doubleposted!
Is it made of wood?
Is it designed to contain something?
[Chalky] Cardboard? No
[Projoy] Text thereon? Yes
[GL] Container? No
[Dandalf] Bowl of cornflakes? Nay, and twice nay :-)
[all] Made of wood? No
- Some audience members mutter to each other
[Projoy] Designed to contain something? No
A form of some kind?
I say, Bigger than a coffee mug?
Designed to be written on?
[Raak] Apologies - Bigger than a coffee mug? No
- Audience becomes interested again
[Rosie] A form? No
[INJ] To be written on? No
Made of bamboo?
[Raak] Bamboo? No
Clarification: When I said "it has things written on it", to be utterly precise the word "printed" would be better than "written".
Is it bigger than a box of matches?
A postage stamp?
A coffee mug?
A £10 note?
[Kim] Bigger than a box of matches? In terms of volume, using a Bryant & May matchbox (37x55x17mm). No, but it's a close run thing.
- Audience finds this fascinating, but they are a little nerdy
[Chalky] Postage stamp? No
[all] Mug? No
[Chalky] £10 note? No
Long and thin?
[Projoy] Long & thin? No
Is it made of cotton?
A reel of thread?
[Chalky] Cotton? No
[Raak] Reel of thread? No
Is it made of paper?
[CHalky] Made of paper? No
Audience eagerly awaits Projoy or Kim's next question
A calling card?
A Champagne Cork?
[Inkspot] Calling card? No
[Chalky] Champagne cork? No
A beermat?
Can I confirm that it's not made from wood, cardboard, paper, cotton or cork?
Does it play a part in the preparation of food?
Is it normally hand made?
Is the vegetable part alive?
Is it flat?
[CdM] Beermat? No
[Chalky] Not wood, cardboard, paper, cotton, cork? Correct
[Kim] Food prep? No
[Inkspot] Handmade? No
[GL] Live veg? No
[CdM] Flat? No
Is the mineral part a candle?
A potato print?
[all] Candle? No
[GL] Potato print? No
Is it made from a fruit?
A tin of tobacco?
Is it made of rubber?
[Inkspot] Made of fruit? No
[Rosie] Tin o'baccy? No
[Raak] Made of rubber? YES
- Rapturous applause from audience
The wheel of a Tonka Toy?
[Projoy] Tonka wheel? Alas, no.
Unfortunately, I have to work for the next few hours, but should be able to pop back in a couple of times over the course of the evening.
Squash ball?
A packet of three?
[Dandalf] Squash Ball? YES
[Raak] 12-months supply for a married man? Unfortunately, no.
Congrats to Dandalf!
At last I can share the trivia that the volume of a squash ball is only 3% less than that of a standard box of matches, as its diameter is 40mm, giving a volume of 33510 cubic mm, compared with 34595 cubic mm.
[Phil] Thanks. I actually worked out the volume before guessing! Now I have to think of something else..... what about ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
A fictional character?
David Attenborough's 'Planet Earth'?
Is the animal connection human?
[Inkspot] Fictional character? NO
[Iroulegey] Planet Earth? NO
[INJ] Human? YES
A character of legend?
Is the animal connection a particular human?
Any artistic connection?
[Kim} Legend? NO
[CdM] Particular human? NO
[INJ] Artistic connection? NO
God?
Is the human connection a particular nationality?
Is it a bird?
Is it a persons title?
Forget last one, put it down to lack of tea and bicuits
Law?
Is it a collective title?
Is it a category of person?
[Phil] God? God, NO
[Irouleguy]Particular nationality? No (murmurings from the audience)
[Inkspot] bird? NO (happily munching on choc digestive while sipping a cup of Earl Grey :) )
[Raak] Law? NO
[GL]collective title? In the sense that it covers a number of items, YES
[KIM]person category? NO
A human construct?
(welcome return of an old favourite)
A golem?
[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO
[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO
Oh No not again! sorry
Does it have something to do with nationalities?
[Raak] Nationalities? YES,partly.
Does it have something to do with a geographical region comprising several counties?
[Kim] YES, but not geographical.
- Audience suddenly wakes up and applauds loudly
A trading cartel of countries?
County Cricket?
Are we talking about counties, not countries?
Typo alert.
(Trying to summarize) Is it a name given to a group of geographically dispersed people with something in common?
[Inkspot] Trading cartel? NO
[Projoy] County cricket? NO
[Rosie] counties/countries? The one with the R.
[CdM] Such a name is one of the words on the card! Loud applause!
Refugees?
A politiocal grouping (in a wide sense - as opposed to say economic)?
Communism?
A racial grouping?
[Inkspot] Refugees? NO
[INJ] Political grouping? YES but that's not the full answer (Applause)
[GL] Communism? NO (some chuckles from audience)
[CdM] Racial grouping? NO
Is it NATO?
Was it created by a treaty?
neo-fascists?
Is it a formal organization?
[Kim] NATO? NO
[Raak] Created by Treaty? NO, but by the ~~~~~~~ Declaration
[IN]neo-fascists? NO
[CdM] Formal organisation? YES
The State/Citizens of Israel
Associated with the UN?
Balfour?
[Projoy] Israel? NO
[INJ] UN? NO
[Raak] The Balfour Declaration? YES (wild applause) but still some way to go.
The Zionist Federation?
unlikely but you never know
Hamas?
[all] Zionist Fed? NO
Hamas? NO
CLARIFICATION: I've just found out that there are two distinct Balfour declarations, one dated 1917 and the other 1926. It is to the latter that I referred in replying to Raak. Get googling!
The British Commonwealth?
[all] B. Commonwealth? YES - but still not the answer on the card.
The Commonwealth Games?
[GL] Commonwealth Games YES Well Done!
Huzzah! Thank you all for the help
I will seek inspiration from the random function of wikipedia

Animal

Human?
Human? - Yes
Alive?
Alive? - Yes
Male?
European?
Sportsman/sportswoman
SPORTSMAN
Currently in the news?
Political figure?
Male? - Yes
European? - No
Sportsman/sportswoman SPORTSMAN? - No
In the news? - Not that I've noticed
Political? - Yes
Middle Eastern?
Is he now retired from the office/position for which he is most famous?
Merkin?
Middle Eastern? - No
Retired? - Yes
American? - No
Butros Butros Ghali?
Butros*2 Ghali? - No
African?
African? - No
Chinese?
Australian?
Asian?
Chinese? - No
Australian? - Yes *Applause*
Asian? - No
John Howard?
John Howard? - No

Summary: A living male Australian politician who has retired.

Bob Hawke?
Bob Hawke? - No
Bryan Gould?
Gough Whitlam?
Must be getting on a bit.
Bryan Gould? - No
Gough Whitlam? - No - but The audience is looking interested (As they did at the mention of Bob Hawke)
Richard Alson?
sorry - make that 'ALSTON'
Richard Alston? - No
Malcolm Fraser?
Malcolm Fraser? - Yes
There weren't many more left to try! OK here goes - VEGETABLE
Living?
Edible?
Bigger than a pumpkin?
Living? YES
Edible? YES
Bigger than pumpkin? NO
Is it normally cooked before being eaten?
Oops! It seems I was wrong. Not edible! will explain error at the end.
Is it an inedible part of something that also has an edible part?
Edible+inedible? NO
Is its inedibility due to it being poisonous?
Toxic? Not particularly
Green?
Green? YES! Applause
A leaf of some kind?
Leaf? YES Renewed applause
A shamrock?
[Raak] YES! Well done. Re my error concerning edibility, I googled "shamrock recipes" and got loads of sites with "shamrock salad", "shamrock sandwiches" "shamrock pie" etc. I didn't bother to visit any but just assumed that shamrocks were edible. Later I found out these were all sham recipes [ :) ] and did not contain any shamrocks at all but were either green, cut into shamrock shapes or were green cocktails consisting mainly of Irish Whiskey and Chartreuse or lime cordial! And now over to Raak.

The next one is MINERAL
manufactured?
Metal, largely?
[CdM] Partly.
[Rosie] Yes.
Jewelry of some kind?
Bigger than a phone-box?
[CdM] No.
[Ir] No.
Contains Moving parts?
Choking hazard, not suitable for children under 42 months?
[INJ] Er...sort of.
[GL] No.
Bigger than a shoe-box?
A moving part of some kind?
Powered by electricity?
[INJ] No.
[CdM] Er...sort of. That is, part of it does move, but it's not what you would call "a moving part".
[Inkspot] No.
A Zippo lighter?
A tool?
[I] Not a Zippo lighter.
[I] Not a tool.
Bigger than a Zippo lighter?
Does the moveable part have to move for the thing to "work"?
Is the part that moves liquid?
[K] Could be bigger or smaller.
[R] Er...quite the opposite. (Laughter from the audience) But it must move for this thing to be what it is.
[INJ] (Applause!) Yes.
A spirit level?
[I] Clever, but no.
Thermometer?
[C] Ditto.
Is it a particular liquid?
[I] Usually.
A rain-gauge?
Mine needs some exercise.
[Rosie] No.
A barometer?
[Kim] No.
[Everyone] Not a tool, remember. The last few guesses were all tools.
Snowglobe?
[GL] Not a snowglobe. (The audience hibernates in underground caverns while glaciers sweep down from the poles.)
Is the liquid usually oil?
Does it have glass parts?
A lava lamp?
[I] Not usually oil.
[I] No glass.
[R] Not a lava lamp.
Is the liquid a drink?
[I] Erm....the typical liquid is water.
Does the water not move when the thing is working because it is frozen?
Is this thing basically ornamental?
[CdM] (A meteor strike melts the ice sheets and the audience wake up and re-evolve into sentient creatures again.) No.
[Rosie] Not ornamental.
Is it a container?
Kitchen sink plug?
strike thast= not usually metallic.
thast= that-
[GL] Container? Sort of.
[D] Not a plug.
Is this used on its own, or as a component of something?
[I] It's a part of something.
Is it an indicator of some kind?
[Rosie] Not an indicator.
Is this a fair summary of what we know so far?
Summary:
Mostly metal, involves water as it's only moving part.
Is not ornimental.
A container of sorts.
Is used as a component.
May be bigger or smaller than a zippo lighter.
Is not functional?(not a tool).
A washer?
A valve?
[GL] Yes, mostly. It's not a tool but does normally perform a function. And container is onyl sort of.
[all] No. (The audience evolve sentience the better to appreciate the impending conclusion of the game.)
[I] No. (Impressed by this sign of the end times, the audience build a temple to Nicholas Parsons and pray for the rapture.)
A stopcock?
[I] No.
A tap?
A cistern?
[all] Not a tap.
[Kim] Not a cistern.
(The audience can hardly move for stepping on portents of the Second Coming.)
A syringe?
[Rosie] (The heavens cloud over.) No.
Used indoors?
[Rosie] Could be indoors or outdoors.
A pipe?
[Projoy] (He is the Messiah!) Yes (but not the complete answer).
A stand-pipe?
[I] Might be a standpipe or not.
Drainpipe?
[GL] No.
How many words are on the card?
lead piping?
in the study
[I] Yes.
[all] Could be, or not.
Is it for rain water?
[I] Not for rain water.

(A ghostly hand with the word "CLUE" tattooed on it points at CdM's last question.)

a heating element?
[Chalky] Not a heating element.
An ice cube maker?
"Yes" words on the card? We need to remember this #%$*@# pipe could be smaller than a zippo lighter!
Is ice involved?
Raak is playing a straight bat, he should only give Yes or No answers. So yes there are words on the card, the question should realy have been phrased "Are there more than XXX words on the card".
Personally I'm just as far away from any notion of what the answer as I was at the start.
Does it require to be operated for it to carry out its function?
(Inkspot) Traditionally it was legitimate to ask how many words on the card, and the answer could include a helpful addition such as "including the definite article".
Does one carry this object about on one's person?
test tube
...except that that's a tool...
A frozen pipe?
I thought I'd already posted this one, but it seems to have disappeared.
[INJ] I just looked, and you didn't. (Members of the audience prophesy in tongues and cast out demons.) Very nearly!
Oops, missed out all those other qns.
[Inkspot] Not an ice cube maker.
[Inkspot] (Receives similar raptures from the audience.) Yes (usually).
[Rosie,Dandalf,Projoy] (A fiery chasm opens up under your feet.) No.
A burst pipe?
[all] The seventh seal has been opened, the City of God is built on the Earth, and the elect rejoice for ever.) Yes, a burst pipe!
At ----ing last

Mineral

Manufactured?
[Rosie] Manufactured? - No
A geographical feature?
Water, in any of its forms?
Metallic?
[Irouléguy] geographical feature? - Yes
[Rosie] Water? - No - *The Audience mutter to each other*
[irach] Metallic - No
When I say no to "Water, in any of its forms?" I mean the answer isn't water, not that water isn't involved... though it might not be.
A valley of some kind?
Most valleys round here are dry. Soon they will all be.
Is there more than one of these?
[Rosie] A valley? - Of some kind, I guess
[CdM] More than one? - No
a crater?
Is it a named geographical feature?
[Projoy] A crater? - No
[Kim] Named geographical feature? - Yes, how many unnamed ones can you think of?
Cheddar Gorge?
[Rosie] Cheddar Gorge? - No.
Is it in the northern hemisphere?
Is it in the Eastern hemisphere?
[Irouléguy] Northern Hemisphere? - Yes
[Projoy] Eastern Hemisphere? - Eastern hemisphere? What the hell is the eastern hemisphere? At a guess I'd say no.
Is it in the United States?
(all) E Hemisphere is 0° to 180° East. Where I worked you could have a foot in both.
[Rosie] USA? - Yes
The Grand Canyon?
[Rosie] The Grand Canyon? - No
In a National Park?
[unnamed geographical features] Let's start with the 5 metre wooded slope on the other side of the road from my window.
Death Valley?
[InJ] National Park? - No
[Irouléguy] Death Valley - No
Deptford Creek?
[Kim] Deptford Creek? - No.
Is it east of the Mississippi?
Does it have historical significance?
[Irouléguy] East of the Mississippi? - No
[InJ] Historical significance? - I haven't been able to find any
*Is* there any water involved?
A mountain?
[GL] Involves water? - Yes - *Audience wakes up*
[Inkspot] Mountain? - No
Is it a river?
Is it North of Nashvillle?
Is it in California?
[Kim] River? - No
[Inkspot] North of Nashvillle? - Yes
[CdM] California? - Yes
A desert?
Lake Tahoe?
Salt Flats?
[Inkspot] Dessert? - No
[Irouléguy] Lake Tahoe? - YES
[InJ] Salt Flats? - No
Much of Godfather 2 is set on the shores of Lake Tahoe, IIRC, which is what made me think of it.
Feels like ages since I've had the chair - our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Is the animal part human?
Is the animal part-human?
Is it a symbolic animal?
Kim] Is the animal part human? No
Kim] Is the animal part-human? No
Raak] Is it a symbolic animal? No
Is it a for legged animal?
A pig in a poke, idiomatically
Inkspot] Is it a four legged animal? Yes
irach] A pig in a poke, idiomatically? No
A Cheshire cat?
Rosie] A Cheshire cat? *murmurs of appreciation from the audience* No
The cat that walks by itself?
The white rabbit?
Projoy] The cat that walks by itself? No
all] The white rabbit? No
A cat of some sort?
Raak] A cat of some sort? No
Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself?
Is is an animal of fiction?
The laughing cow?
A part of an animal?
Rosie] Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself? No
Kim] Is it an animal of fiction? No
Gusset Login] The laughing cow? No
Raak] A part of an animal? No

*the audience worries that their murmurs may have been misinterpreted*
Is it an anthropomorphism?
One Swallow?
Kim] Is it an anthropomorphism? No
Projoy] One Swallow? No
An animal found in the wild in Britain?
Dog in the manger?
irach] An animal found in the wild in Britain? *the audience prick up their ears* Part of the answer, but not the answer.
Dandalf - Dog in the manger? No
Related to a specific place?
Fox-hunting?
Raak] Related to a specific place? Not a place
Rosie - Fox-hunting? *cries of 'Tally-ho' from the audience* No
Related to a specific region?
Inkspot] Related to a specific region? Not a region
Scottish wild cat?
British Bulldog?
Dandalf] Scottish wild cat? No
Kim] British Bulldog? No

There's a clue in the phrasing of the answers to Raak and Inkspot's questions.
Related to a specific time?
The first cuckoo in Spring?
Phil] Related to a specific time? In a sense, yes, but that's not really useful Dandalf] The first cuckoo in Spring? Four legs right, two legs wrong No - see earlier answer to Inkspot
Related to a specific county?
Related to a specific country?
Related to a specific activity?
Is the animal normally considered edible?
Gusset Login] Related to a specific county? No
Gusset Login - Related to a specific country? No
Raak - Related to a specific activity? No
Rosie - Is the animal normally considered edible? *cries of "Nice one, Rosie" from the audience* Proverbially not
Fine distinctions
Perhaps that should be 'famously' rather than 'proverbially'.
The pursuit of the uneatable by the unspeakable?
*applause* Not the answer, but as a Wilde guess it's definitely on the right scent.
[showing face again after bipedal gaffe! (actually I was hopeful with that since it was so topical!)] Badger?
A crazy fox?
Dandalf] Badger? It's easy to get confused about feet - that's the advantage of the metric system *ducks* No
Projoy - A crazy fox? *applause* Some might think so...
An animal puppet?
Basil Brush?
A rabid fox?
Is "fox" one of the words on the card?
Raak] An animal puppet? No
Projoy] Basil Brush? No
Rosie] A rabid fox? No
CdM] Is "fox" one of the words on the card? *loud cheering* Yes (though strictly speaking it's 'foxes')
Any connection to Leicester?
CdM] Any connection to Leicester? By definition, yes (though that could be misunderstood).
Anything to do with a team game?
Name of a pub?
The Leicestershire Foxes?
Urban foxes?
Buy that man a drink! Yes, it's urban foxes. Over to Phil.
What, me? Wow - that felt like a bit of a lurker's victory, although I see so many semi-urban foxes on a daily basis it jumped straight into my mind. So I'll set a nice simple one for now.

ANIMAL

Basil Brush?
(it's bound to be Basil Brush sooner or later now, it's too good an idea to waste)
Human?
Alive?
[Projoy] B. Brush? Not this time
[Rosie] Human? Yes
[GL] Alive? Yes
Is it you?
[all] Me? No *applause from audience*
Is it a member of the morniverse community?
[CdM] Morniverser? No
Is it someone else called Phil?
Are they male?
Al Murray?
[Kim] Another Phil? No
[GL] Male? No
[Irouléguy] Al Murray? I like your thinking, but no
An entertainer?
A specific individual?
[Rosie] Entertainer? No
[CdM] Individual? Yes
Mrs Trellis of North Wales?
[GL] Mrs T of N. Wales? No, sadly. *audience laughs*
European?
Someone associated with the pub trade?
[Irouléguy] European? Yes
[Raak] Pub trade? No
Musician?
[Kim] Musician? Amateur
Is this female famous for being totally vacuous, ie: a model?
A politician?
Equally vacuous.
[Chalky] Famous for being vacuous? No
[Rosie] Politician? No
*Audience starts to mutter about being ignored*
The lovely Samantha?
British?
Mrs Phil?
[Irouléguy] Samantha? No
[Rosie] British? Yes
[Projoy] Mrs Phil? In a way, yes, but those are not the two words on the card. *excited applause from audience*
Yo Momma?
Your wife?
[Projoy] Presuming you're not "calling" me, then, essentially - YES, it was my mum all along.
OK. This one is MINERAL, mainly, with some VEGETABLE. In another sense, the whole thing is ABSTRACT.
Traffic?
[Rosie] Traffic, no *but applause from audience*
Gridlock?
[Dandalf] gridlock, no
Anything to do with broadcasting?
[Rosie] Broadcasting, not really, no. Not in any helpful way.
Something to do with transport?
A road?
The road to hell?
[Rosie] Transport, YES *applause*
[Ig] Road, no
[all] Road to Hell, no, and, strangely, that doesn't even lead to your getting warmer.
[All] I think it's probably wise not to get hung up on the Abstract bit, since as abstracts go, this one is pretty concrete.
A transport network?
The Motor Museum at Beaulieu?
[INJ] Transport network, no
[Chalky] Motor Museum, no
A form of transport?
[INJ] Form of transport, YES
Was going to suggest "Stairway to Heaven", but..... what about London Bus?
[Dandalf] Nope, not a London Bus
Something to do with the London Underground?
A pushbike?
[Kim] Nope, not LU
[Ig] Nope, not a pushbike
Network Rail?
[Rosie] Nope, on the wrong track there. :)
Land transport?
[Dandalf] Land transport, YES
Passenger-carrying?
(paying or otherwise)
Military vehicle?
An SUV?
An RV?
[INJ] Passenger-carrying, YES
[Kim] Military, no
[Ig] SUV, no
[all] I don't know what that is, but certainly not the words on the card.
A tram?
Paying passengers?
Taxi?
A bus company?
a car?
[Projoy] RV = Recreational Vehicle = Motor home
Not a tram, no paying passengers, not a taxi, not a bus company, but YES, it is a car.
(that's not the whole answer, obviously :) )
stretch limousine?
a Ford Prefect?
[Dandalf] No, not a stretch limo
[Ig] Not a Ford Prefect. *sustained applause*.
Morris Minor Traveller (the estate one)?
[Phil] Nope, not a Morris Minor.
A model-T Ford?
Dagenham Dustbin?
A Ford Popular?
[Ig] *scattered applause*, no
[Rosie] *laughter*, no (at least not by the definition of that phrase I just googled)
[INJ] *more laughter and some applause, no, not at all.
A currently available model?
A Ford Focus?
[INJ] Not currently available
[Ig] Ford Focus, no.
A Reliant Robin?
RR, nope.
Was it a sporty model?
UK manufactured?
[Kim] Sporty - I don't think so.
[INJ] UK manufactured, no.
An Edsel?
*rapturous applause* Congratulations. Specifically THE EDSEL ("an Edsel" wouldn't be abstract at all).
(Projoy) Being a Ford, it would be a Detroit Dustbin, then, though the phrase doesn't quite flow.
Not a de Lorean then?
OK, the next one is ANIMAL
human?
[Rosie] A Detroit Trashcan, if you want to be kolchrally krekt.
[INJ] de Lorean's were manufactured in NI, weren't they?
[PJ] human? - NO
De Lorean's were manufactured in NI, that's why I asked the UK manufactured question.
Mammal?
extinct?
One specific animal?
An anarcho-syndicalist wildebeeste?
Can it fly?
[Iroul ] Mammal - YES
[all ] extinct - Hmmm - (after some hesitation) NO
[Kim ] One specific animal? - YES
[Rosie] anarcho-syndicalist wildebeeste? - Not as such
[GL] Can it fly - YES (some laughter in the audience)
A flying fox?
[Kim] Flying Fox - NO
Can it swim (or could it?)
[PJ] could it swim - YES (I assume so)
Any mythical connection?
(Projoy) Detroit Trashcan? Nah, ain't 'llitrativ.
[Rosie] mythical connection - NO
Animal mentioned in fiction?
[irach] Animal mentioned in fiction? - Not a fictional animal (though I'm sure it has been mentioned in fiction)
Is this animal found in the wild in Europe?
Endangered species?
[Iroul] found in the wild in Europe? - NO
[Dandalf] Endangered - NO
Laika?
Is this animal alive now?
One specific, named animal?
(rather than a species, for instance)
He's done it again
[Raak] Now that's impressive. YES It is LAIKA.
Over to you.

ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
Is the animal human?
Is the animal connected to anything?
[INJ] Partly human.
[C] Is not everything connected to everything else in the great skein of being?
To put my first answer more clearly, the animal connections include human connections.
Roadkill?
[C] Not roadkill.
Is it a human construct?
I'm taking this to be ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS, unless the answer is dog leads.
Metaphorical shoe-leather?
[INJ] Not a human construct, and not abstract either.
[Projoy] Not metaphorical shoe-leather.
umbilical cords?
struggling to get into this
[INJ] Not umbilical cords (those would definitely be Animal).
To make the initial words more explicit, this thing is neither Animal, nor Vegetable, nor Mineral, nor Abstract, but has Animal connections.
The particle zoo?
A toadstool?
Does it have a sensible physical manifestation?
[Projoy] Not the particle zoo, whatever that is.
[Ir] Not a toadstool.
[INJ] Yes, it has a sensible physical manifestation.
(The audience has just remembered to give an approving murmur to Irouléguy's question.)
Does it exist in the real world?
[Phil] Yes, it exists in the real world.
Are we in the world of the very small?
[Projoy] Yes. (Applause!)
A cell?
[Rosie] Not a cell.
A micro-organism, eg bacterium, virus, etc?
DNA?
E. Coli?
(smacks forehead) Not a cell. Ok, a protein base?
H5N1?
The prion that causes BSE?
[Rosie] Yes, [Chalky] No, [Projoy] No, [I] No...
[Kim] YES! "Bird flu" was on the card but H5N1 will do.
A-tishoo!
Thanks, folks. Let's kick off the week with a nice easy
ANIMAL
A dead swan with bird flu?
Frank Sinatra?
An insect?
Human?
Male?
[Raak] Dead swan? No.
[Irouleguy] Old Blue-eyes? No.
[Inkspot] Insect? No.
[Chalky] Human? Yes.
[Rosie] Male? Yes.
Alive?
A TV personality?
Alive-o?
Born before 1940?
European?
[Raak] Alive? No.
[Chalky] TV personality? No.
[Projoy] Alive-o? No-o. Not in Dublin's fair city, nor anywhere else, for that matter.
[Inkspot] Born before 1940? Yes.
[IG] European? Yes.
British?
Connected with the arts?
Did he die in the 21st century?
A scientist?
Born before 1880?
[Projoy] British? Yes.
[Raak] Connected with the arts? No.
[Chalky]Died in 21st Century? No.
[Inkspot] Scientist? No.
[GL] Born before 1880? Yes.
A titled person?
statesman?
Died in the C18th?
[Inkspot] Titled? No.
[INJ] Statesman? No.
[Projoy] Died in C18th? Yes.
Capability Brown?
Active in politics?
Sir Christopher Wren?
[IG] Capability Brown? No.
[Raak] Active in politics? No.
[Rosie] Christopher Wren? No.
A philosopher?
Is he known through his writings?
A military person?
Composer?
English? (ie not Scottish or Welsh)
[Projoy] Philosopher? No.
[Inkspot] Military person. Hmmm. On balance, I would have to say Yes. *Some members of the audience stir in their sleep*
[Irach] Composer? No.
[IG] English? Most of the audience now sit up, yawn and stretch* The generally accepted answer to this is Yes.
And my question?
Ned Ludd?
Sorry Raak!
[Raak] Your question: known through his writings? No.
[Raak] Nedd Ludd? No.
Royal?
[GL] Royal? No.
Is anything named after him?
a craftsman?
[Rosie] Anything named after him? Difficult to answer fairly without either being excessively cryptic or giving the game away, so I am going to say Yes.
[INJ] Craftsman? Many are called craftsmen with more or less justification and he might have been, but he was not a craftsman in the "skilled artisan" sense.
Did he build things?
[Raak] A builder of things? No.
*The audience feels that the earlier answers that made them sit up should be considered further".
A British artist who painted military themed paintings?
Did he march ten thousand men up and down a hill?
Is there a naval connection?
[irach] Artist? No.
[Raak] Prince Andrew? No.
[IG] Naval connection? Yes. *Some applause*
Admiral Lord Nelson?
Captain Cook?
Edward Teach (aka Blackbeard)?
Arrrr!
Congrtulations, Phil! I would have accepted either answer, but you got both. *Hands over cutlass and ceremonial eyepatch to Phil*
Why are pirates called pirates? Just because they Arrrr!
Dear God, really!? I thought I was just being obtuse, by trying to work out who could be naval, somehow of a military nature, possibly have something named after them, but not into politics etc. Then I searched for pirates that died in the 18th century, and picked the most famous one. I'm somewhat surprised to have got that right, to tell the truth.
Hmmm...another apparently simple one

Vegetable

David Beckham?
A long shot, perhaps.
Edible?
Living plant or product?
A single object?
A host of golden daffodils?
[Rosie] El Beckham? Alas, no
[Chalky] Edible? Yes
[Dandalf] Living plant or product? Yes
[INJ] Single Object? No
[Irouléguy] Host of Daffs? No
Requires cooking?
Is it typically cultivated (as opposed to being gathered)?
Consists of a single vegetable rather than a mix of >1
Is it specific to a particular country or culture?
An herb?
[Rosie] Requires cooking? No
[CdM] Typically cultivated? yes
[INJ] Single "vegetable"? Yes
[Irouléguy] Prticular country or culture? Yes
[Dandalf] An herb? Yes - [Applause from come audience members]
CORRECTION
[Irouléguy] Particular country or culture? COrrect answer is No. Don't try to read anything into my confusion, it's just me being clumsy.
watercress?
Is it green, mainly?
Banana?
(Yes it is a herb)
Does it need to be dug out of the ground?
[Chalky] watercress? No
[Rosie] Mainly green? No
[all] Banana? Not the answer on the card - [Rapturous Applause]
[Inkspot] Dug out of the ground? No
plantain?
[INJ] Plantain? No
A Bunch of bananas?
Banana pepper?
[all] YES! "A bunch of bananas" is the phrase on the card - congrats.
um... thank you

all - Time for a new item, this on is:

Animal

Is it an animal?
[Projoy] Is it an animal? As opposed to Vegetable, Mineral or Abstract? Yes
Is it AN animal?
Human?
[Rosie] Is it AN animal? - As opposed to several? Yes
[Irouléguy] Human? - Yes
Currently living?
Male?
[irach] Currently living? - Opinion is divided on this one, personally I\'d say: No
[Inkspot] Male? - Yes
Jesus Christ?
Osama Bin Laden?
Fictional?
Elvis Presley?
[Rosie] Jesus Christ? - No
[CdM] OBL? - No
[Projoy] Fictional? - No
[Néa] Elvis Presley? - No
European?
Margaret Thatcher?
Oops, male.
Ariel Sharon?
Lord Lucan?
(Raak) Right the first time.
[CdM] European? - Yes
[Raak] Margaret Thatcher? - No
[Raak] Ariel Sharron? No
[Rosie] Lord Lucan? - YES
This one is MINERAL. Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines or trombones.
Something to do with the weather?
;-)
(Projoy) To do with the weather? - No. I forgot that one.
A barrel of crude?
Something manufactured?
Does it need electric power?
(Dandalf) - Not a barrel of crude
(Irouléguy) Manufactured? - Yes, generally. It's an artefact.
(Inkspot) Does not need electric power.
Is it associated with a particular culture?
Does it have a purpose?
Smaller than a toaster?
Are there multiple instances of it?
Do you own one?
Mostly made of metal?
(CdM) - Not associated with a particular culture.
(Projoy) - A purpose? It certainly does.
(Raak) - Can be smaller than a toaster, but certainly not necessarily.
(CdM) - There are lots of them.
(Phil) - Do I own one? No, not yet.
(Irouléguy) - Made of metal? Usually, but not necessarily.
Is it a household item?
(i.e. rather than outdoors or in a public space)
(INJ) - Indoors household item? No.
Does it contain electronics?
phone box?
Does not need electric power... Solar phonebox?
(Raak) - No electronics.
(Projoy) Not a solar phone box, but *some appreciative murmurings from the audience*.
Is it a device for converting energy from one form to another?
Something to do with gardening?
A sundial?
Well, that was quick because RAAK is the winner. Congratulations. A sundial it its. I'm making one for the wall of the back of the house. It faces south 25 degrees east so there's a nice bit of trigonometry involved.
The next object is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Not human.
Roger Rabbit?
A single, named animal?
A character from a book?
[I] Not Roger Rabbit.
[I] Hm, yes and no. Strictly speaking, according to the words on the card, no.
[I] Hm, yes and no (see previous answer). More yes than no.
A four legged animal?
mammal?
[I] Four-legged.
[I] Mammalian.
Is the book a children's book?
Gadarene swine?
[I] Yes. (Applause!)
[P] No.
dogs?
Rupert Bear?
[P] Not dogs.
[R] Not Rupert Bear.
some sort of mythological beast that doesn't exist in the real world?
A tigger?
A character from a Lewis Carroll offering?
[Projoy] Yes.
[I] No.
[Chalky] Yes. (Clapping and cheering! Bunches of roses are cast up onto the stage!)
A Grinning Cheshire cat?
Snarks?
[Projoy] Your Snark is a Boojum, I fear.
[i] Yes! A Cheshire cat.
Well, that was quick.
Well, well, well.
This one is ANIMALS... Note the plural
Cardiff City fans?
The Animals? (popular beat combo)
[Rosie] No. ... good try, though : )
[Phil] No.
Are these animals found in the wild?
[Raak] Species-wise, one of them typically is, the other generally not. However, in this particular case, neither is found in the wild. Cryptic answer, but true.
Is at least one of the animals human?
Is the answer two individual animals?
Following on: The Walrus and the Carpenter?
Mammals?
The Lion and the Unicorn?
The Horse and his Boy?
Simon and his Dancing Bear?
Lady and the Tramp?
One Man and his Dog?
Ther Owl and the Pussycat?
[Rosie] No.
[CdM] Yes.
[Dandalf] No.
[Inkspot] One of them is.
[Raak] No.
[Kim} No.
[CdM} No.
[Projoy] No.
[CdM] No.
[INJ] YES!!! Bravo!
Well, it had to be one of those
OK then folks, the next one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Sly like a fox?
Jump over a lazy brown fox
[irach] Sly like a fox - NO
[inks]Jump over a lazy brown fox - NO (anyway it's 'dog' as any fan of Nevin Nollop knows)
Crazy as a loon?
Dog-tired?
Cat-nap?
Is it a phrase?
[irach] Crazy as a loon? - NO
[PJ] Dog-tired - NO
[irach] Cat-nap - NO
[all] a phrase - NO (except in the sense that it consists of more than one word in a meaningful grammatical relationship)
includes a verb?
Bovine anarcho-syndicalism?
A disease?
Is the animal connection human?
Bird flu?
Is it a fictional animal?
An anthropomorphism?
slow going
[Projoy] includes a verb? - NO
[Rosie] Bovine anarcho-syndicalism? - Y...NO
[ Rosie ] disease - NO
[CdM ] Is the animal connection human? - Partly
[ Iroul ] Bird flu? - NO
[ Kim ] a fictional animal? - NO
[ Inks ] anthropomorphism? - NO
Is the animal connection human and one other animal?
A collective name for a group of animals?
Is it a particular place where one might find animals/humans?
[Iroul] human and one other animal? - NO
[Inks] A collective name for a group of animals? - NO
[Chalky] a particular place - NO
Is it a property or characteristic of either an animal or a human?
[Iroul] looking at your previous question I believe my answer is correct, but it may depend on what you actually meant by it. So - to clarify (and help):
as well as the human connection there is only one other type of animal, but more than 1 of them.
[Rosie] property or characteristic of either an animal or a human? - NO
Is the answer along the lines of: ......... and the ......... ?
[Chalky] Is the answer along the lines of: ......... and the ......... ? - NO
The Vicar and Flock?
Sounds like the name of pub, dunnit?
The audience send out for flasks and sleeping bags
[Projoy] Vicar and Flock - NO
A piece of music?
Is the human connection a particular human?
[Inks] music - NO
[CdM] a particular human - NO (audience nod their heads sagely)
Is the other type of animal a mammal?
INJ] Thanks - that was what I meant.
One Man and His Dog?
The boy who cried wolf?
Man and Beast?
Of Mice And Men?
[Iroul] mammal - YES
[Phil] OMAHD - NO
[Dandalf] boy who cried wolf? - NO
[irach] Man and Beast? - NO
[irach] Of Mice And Men? - NO
The Queen's Corgis?
All the King's horses?
Is the mammal native to a particular part of the world?
[Phil] Queen's Corgis? - NO
[irach] King's horses? - NO
[Inks] native to a particular part of the world? - NO
(The audience has split up into card schools and choirs)
Is the human part gender specific?
Does the human element relate to the possessor of the mammal?
[Inks] Is the human part gender specific? - Hmmm. Strictly speaking NO, but in practice, YES
[Phil] Does the human element relate to the possessor of the mammal? - YES
Check your assumptions.
Henry's Cat?
Is the human element a role/title or something similar (with a single incumbent at any given time)?
[all] Henry's Cat - NO (who he?)
[CdM] role/title/something similar - YES(ish) - but I suspect that may mislead as much as help
single incumbent - NO
A game?
[Inks] a game - NO
Are the non-human animals domesticated?
Is the abstract part a human construct?
[INJ] How could you not know of Henry's Cat? Drawn by genius animator Bob Godfrey (last of the great painted-cell animators, none of your computerised rubbish) who was also the creator of "Rhubarb and Custard" and "Noah and Nellie" ("all aboard the skylark!"). Shame on you. How old are you, anyway?
[CdM] domesticated - YES
[Kim] a human construct - NO is the most useful answer
How old? Old enought not to have had a TV at the age when I would have watched such programs
Is it the title of something?
Is the non-human animal canine?
[PJ] title of something? - NO, although it has been used as such
[Iroul] canine - NO
murine?
[PJ] - Not one of Mickey's relatives
feline?
oscine?
[Inks] - feline - NO
[PJ] oscine - I refer my learned friend to my earlier answer about mammals
Rabbit
With a "?"
Do you need a clue yet?
[Inks] Rabbit - NO (with or without ?)
The name of a pub?
A farm animal?
The sum of human knowledge
So far we know this:
It's an abstract that has to do with human and mammal (just one type of mammal? Just one human? We know this not.)

The human part may be a role, but this may be unhelpful. The human part is, in practice but not in principle, gender-specifc

The aforesaid mammal(s) is/are domesticated (so presumably not farm animals?). Is not: dog, cat, mouse, rat, rabbit. I think that's all we know.
equine?
slightly stretching the "domesticated" category...
Smaller than a cat?
But I would say cow is "domesticated" animal, the term should not be assumed to mean "household pet".
[Projoy] Actually only one type of animal but more than 1 of them according to answer to Irouleguy.
The PG Tips Chimps?
A little progress
[Raak] a pub name - NO
[Inks] farm animal - YES
[PJ] equine - YES (some of the audience emerge from their stupor)
[Inks/Chalky] - see above
The summary is reasonable except that,as Dandalf says - you have been told that there is only one type of mammal, but more than one of them.
I've never taken 'domesticated' to mean the same as 'domestic'.
Why didn't the audience wake up at "King's horses" earlier on?
Anything to do with horse racing?
"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride"?
The four horse men of the Apocalypse?
Sorry, horsemen!
A herd of wild horses?
[Dandalf] - Good question - in retrospect, I think they should have.
[Chalky] horse racing? - NO
[PJ] If wishes were horses,... - NO
[Dandalf] Four hoarse men - NO
[Raak] herd of wild horses? - NO
Shortly going away for the long weekend - and yet I feel this one could fall quickly if someone makes the right lateral jump. I'm surprised how hard it is proving.
In retrospect the 'kings horses' should have got some applause.
a work horse?
Hobby Horse
Wild horses wouldn't drag me...?
Sagittarii?
Is the word "horses" on the card?
Can I have two guesses? Horsetrader? Charge of the light brigade?
P.S. Also going away for long weekend
Charge of the light brigade is a very good guess, I think. But I am not sure why the audience would have 'nodded sagely' at my 'particular human?' question, and I would have thought that it was gender-specific in principle. Also, if it is right, then 'King's horses' definitely should have won applause!
Anything to do with show-jumping?
In case 'Charge of the Light Brigade' is wrong.
Yankee Doodle and Pony?
We have a winner
Dandalf was right 'Charge of the Light Brigade' it is.
As I later admitted - King's Horses should have won applause. I can only say that I didn't have a lot of time when I posted that and I also didn't anticipate that it would prove as difficult as it did. Particular human - NO, but 600 particular humans. Gender-specific not now, but yes, then. All arguable.
Anyway, sorry to have kept you waiting, but I've had a very nice weekend away in Mid-Wales and my laptop was not going to come with me.
Over to Dandalf
Well back from my long weekend to find I'd guessed right. Actually I was hesitant about C of the L.B. because of the gender thing - but then thought that the equines probably included both stallions and mares! : ) Whatever - here goes with ABSTRACT with no connections whatsoever. (Oh dear, what have I let myself in for?!?)
Is it a force?
Is it a state of mind?
Can it exist without the perception of a sentient being?
To do with mathematics?
[Inkspot] Force? NO
[Phil] State of mind? Er...YES. Audience stops groaning.
[Rosie] NO. Half-hearted ripple of applause.
[Raak] Maths? NO
Applies only to humans/human minds?
A mystical vision?
Melancholy?
An agreeable state of mind?
[INJ] H/H minds only? YES (...or NO?)
[Raak] M.V. NO
[Irouleguy] Melancholy? NO
[Rosie] YES (but paradoxically could be NO!)
indecisiveness?
Connected with a physical activity?
Lust?
[INJ] Definitely NOT indecisiveness :)
[Raak] NOT connected with physical activity
[Projoy]NOT Lust
Sleep?
Success?
Hope?
[Phil] NOT sleep (which is what audience is settling down to!)
[Raak] NOT Success (which is what is not being achieved!)
[Rosie] NOT Hope (which you shouldn't lose!).
Single-mindedness?
Is it visible on a brain scan?
Does it have anything to do with perception of the future?
Love?
Does the word end with .... ness?
[Raak] Singlemindedness NO
[CdM] NOT visible on brain scan
[Kim] NOT connected to prediction
[Phil] NOT love
[Chalky] One of the words on the card does end with ..ness. (Audience stirs).
Is this a two-word answer?
[Chalky] Five words on the card incl. 1 article and 1 preposition.
A piece of my mind?
As in, giving someone ___.
A piece of my mindness? A pieceness of my mind?
The Unbearable Lightness of Being?
*applauds*
(If that isn't right, it should be)
Spot On!! Wild applause. Well done INJ.
Ooh - me again!

OK, this is ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections
All the King's Horses?
One of the King's Horses?
[Chalky / Dandalf] King's Horses - NO to both,
Is the animal human?
[all] human - NO
One particular animal?
Alive (when it's at home)?
A domesticated animal?
[Iroul] One particular animal? - NO
[PJ] alive? - YES
[Iroul] domesticated? - NO
Sorry. The last one was the answer to Rosie, of course - Ah, the joys of copy and paste.
A herd of wild horses?
[Raak] herd of wild horses - NO
Is the answer on the card a well-known phrase or saying?
Is the beastie timorous? (eg not a lion)
One particular species?
Are they insects?
Associated with a work of fiction?
[CdM] a well-known phrase or saying? - NO - not fair to call it well-known
[Rosie] timorous - NO - that isn't an adjective you'd normally expect to use (but neither is 'fierce')
[[CdM] One particular species? - YES - (smattering of applause)
[Raak] insects? - NO
[Inks] Associated with a work of fiction? - NO
[Iroul] There are 2 ways of reading your penultimate question (one particular animal?).
A horde of wild hearses?
[Raak] - NO
Might They Be Giants?
[Raak] - NO
Is the animal bigger than a domestic cat?
Is the answer on the card the title of something?
[PJ] Bigger than a cat - NO
[CdM] title of something - NO
Is the answer on the card a quotation from something?
A bird?
An insect?
[CdM] a quotation? - NO
[Inks] a bird - YES (some applause)
[PJ] - NO
A Flock of Seagulls?
getting warmer
[Chalky] A Flock of Seagulls? - NO (hearty applause)
The multitude of swallows that *does* make a Summer
Getting your ducks in a row?
INJ] True - I meant one specific animal, as in Lassie, Trigger, Skippy...God, I'm old.
audience settles down a bit again
[PJ] The multitude of swallows that *does* make a Summer - NO
[Iroul] ducks in a row? - NO
[Iroul] That's what I assumed in my response - (BTW I nearly chose 'Champion the Wonder Horse')
Some sort of sea bird?
An emblem or icon of some sort?
[PJ] sea bird - NO (that's not why they applauded)
[Rosie] emblem/icon - NO
Are there four and twenty of them?
[Raak] Are there four and twenty of them? - NO (but a few wry grins amongst the audience)
Game bird?
[Projoy] Game Bird? - NO
[PJ] Well, not in this country. ;o)
Found in this country?
[Projoy] Found in this country? - YES
Do the words on the card include a collective noun?
[Chalky] collective noun - YES (prolonged applause)
A murder of crows?
Soooooooo Close
[Projoy] A murder of crows? - NO (but it's hard to see how you could get closer without getting it)
A murder of ravens?
[Projoy] - A murder of ravens? - NO (but I'm tempted to give it to you anyway - right bird, wrong venereal term - so it was possible to get closer!)
An unkindness?
Nicely Timed
We have a winner - An Unkindness of Ravens it is. A bit tough on Projoy, plus an honourable mention for Chalky, but there you go. Over to CdM just before I have to think about logging out and going home.
I went for (and stuck with) "murder" because of the wry grins at four and twenty blackbirds (who were violently killed, of course), and you do often hear "a murder of ravens" even tho "unkindness" is the more standard term. Nemmind. CdM has it.
[PJ] The 'wry grins' were because they were 'black birds'.
Yes, I stood on the shoulders of giants there. Still, as the saying goes, 'he who larks last, shall be exalted'.
ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections
Live animal(s)?
Live? The least misleading answer is YES, although I could add also NO.
Fictional animals?
Time related?
A single type of animal?
Is this a place?
Fictional animals? No.
Time related? The answer doesn't have anything to do with time. (There is a particular sense in which I could say it is time-related but I don't think that is helpful.)
Single type of animal? Yes.
A place? No.
A single named animal?
Single named animal? If I understand the question correctly, the answer is NO.
Is the animal connection human?
Human? YES.
A theatrical connection?
Theatrical Connection? None that I am aware of.
Is it a saying?
(Not the seven ages of man, then)
The present king of France?
Is there one at the moment?
A saying? NO.
Louis XXIV? NO.
One at the moment? YES. (By which I mean that the answer on the card currently exists. As a minor clue/clarification, my previous answer re "time-related" was because the answer on the card did not always exist and probably will not always exist in the future. I was probably overthinking my answers...)
Is it sport-related?
The Monarchy?
Sport-related? NO.
Monarchy? NO. (some laughter)
Democracy?
Democracy? NO.
The Goons?
I'm trying to think of constructive questions, rather than guesses, but the laughter has me intrigued.
Punk (the supposed form of music)?
Is it the name of a job?
Anything to do with anarcho-syndicalism?
The Goons. NO. more laughter
Punk? NO.
Name of a job? NO. smattering of applause
To do with anarcho-syndicalism? YES! loud applause
The Durutti Column?
The International Workers Association?
Durutti Column? NO. (some applause)
IWA? NO. (some applause)
Does it have a specifically British connection?
British connection? NO. (a pin drops noisily)
Is it a political organisation?
Political organisation? YES. (applause)
The Spanish FAI (Federacion Anarquista Iberica)?
FAI? NO. (loud applause) (this is a very helpful audience)
Confederación Nacional del Trabajo?
CNT? YES! *refuses to pass the baton as it is a symbol of bourgeois oppression*
Courtesy of the wiki random article feature, here is a VEGETABLE.
edible?
manufactured/processed?
Is it *A* vegetable?
[INJ] NO.
[CdM] NO.
[Rosie] YES.
Is it a tree?
Tropical?
[Raak] NO.
[CdM] YES.
a flower?
(in the normal sense of the term - not just an angiosperm)
[INJ] YES.
Lotus?
[CdM] NO.
Hibiscus?
Rafflesia?
Available in European florists? (on a reasonably regular basis)
[irach] NO (but at this and the previous question, the audience is starting to pay attention)
[Raak] NO (but ditto)
[INJ] YES -- at least, I am fairly sure about the "reasonably regular" part.
Orchid?
Incidentally, Néa, I'm still bemused as to where your "anarcho-syndicalism" question came from?
[Phil] NO. (Audience loses a degree of interest.)
Anarcho-syndicalism -- it was the laughter at "monarchy" that put the idea into my head :-)
Native to Africa?
(If you like, you can assume I'll ask the other questions until I get a YES)
Good idea
[INJ] Africa? NO.
South America? NO.
Central America? NO.
Australia? NO.
Asia? YES.
(Needless to say, it was the last one you asked about. 'Tis ever so.)
Hyacinth?
Native only to Asia restricts things a bit.
[Néa] I'd never even heard of it myself, hence my utter bemusement.
Asian Almond (sterculia foetida)?
...which, by any other name, would smell as foul.
I meant Indian almond.
[Phil] NO (audience interest remains on same level as before). Re: an-synd -- that has been something of a running gag in this game, which made it a more obvious thing to guess. (Mr Néa is active in the Swedish anarcho syndicalists. I don't sympathise with them myself, though.)
[Projoy] NO (audience pricks up ears slightly)
There seems to be some confusion as to the Latin name of the Indian almond
Neither Sterculia Foetida (which I have down as Java olive) nor Terminalia Catappa is correct.
Is usually a particular colour?
[Inkspot] YES.
Jasmine?
Sakura Cherry blossoms?
Indian Lilac?
A member of the rhododendron genus?
[flerdle, irach, Dandalf, Irouléguy] NO. (The audience, having become a little restless, regains some order at flerdle's guess -- but quickly loses it again.)
noted for fragrance?
[INJ] NO.
Himalayan Poppy?
Peony?
Remember: Tropical
[INJ] NO.
[Inkspot] NO.
(There is a distinct lack of order among the audience.)
A bromeliad?
An orchid?
Saffron?
(sources disagree about its nativity)
Tea?
(curses - sources agree that it's not a flower, and that it's not tropical!)
Leptospermum?
[Inkspot] NO.
[Raak] Still NO.
[Projoy] NO.
[Irouléguy] Yes please! Black, no sugar. Oh, sorry. NO.
[Projoy] NO.
OK... I think Néa is giving us a hint with "order" in reference to flerdle's guess of Jasmine. The internets tell me that Jasmine is in the order Lamiales, and also tell me that there are about 11,000 species in this order. So -- now to take a leaf out of INJ's book...
Chinese violet?
(If you like, you can assume I'll ask the other 10,999 questions until I get a YES)
[CdM] NO. (The audience cheers when hearing the reasoning behind the guess.)
I'm sorry, I don't think I'll assume that :-)
Is the colour usually yellow?
[Inkspot] NO.
Clarification please...
You answered earlier that it is not edible. Is it actually poisonous, or just not usually eaten?
Is the colour usually red/pink?
An Iris?
Is its colour part of its name?
Is a country or area part of its name?
[CdM] The information I've found on the subject says "not poisonous".
[INJ] YES.
[Inkspot] NO.
[Raak] NO.
[Irouléguy] NO.
Is it grown here as a house rather than garden plant?
[Inkspot] YES.
Is it grown here as a house rather than garden plant?
Grown for foliage rather than flower?
Er...
I was assuming an omitted "plant" in Inkspot's question, whereas I'm assuming that CdM is just being silly (often a safe assumption to make!)
[INJ] NO -- at least, I wouldn't think so.
No, I was simply pointing out that "here" has many meanings in the morniverse. You haven't answered my question.
[CdM] I'm sorry, that was too subtle for me. In that case, NO.
Acanthus?
(Was gonna say Buddlea (sp?) but realised I have one out in the back garden, then realised that Acanthus is also grown outdoors in Europe and isn't native to Asia. I think I'd better retire from this round :) )
Is it carnivorous?
(BTW, while floundering about on google for possible answers, I came across this rather fetching description of an Asian houseplant: "Coral Berry - Ardisia Crenata, from southeast Asia. Very slow growing plant. Has shiny green leaves and very small pink or shite flowers followed by brilliant red berries.")
[Projoy] NO. (An elderly gentleman in the back row starts clapping, but his neighbour shushes him). Some Acanthus species are native to Asia, though -- Acanthus ilicifolius for instance.

Incidentally, I may need to make a clarification. When I say "garden plant" I mean something that actually grows in the garden and is outdoors all year round, rather than plants like olive trees for instance, which can be taken outside (in this here climate) in summer but must come in when the snow arrives.
[CdM] NO.
What You Know
You're looking for a plant of the order Lamiales, with (usually) red or pink flowers, which is native to a tropical part of Asia and doesn't grow very well in British (or Swedish) gardens. It will not eat your pets or children. It's not usually eaten but probably not poisonous, its colour or homeland cannot be divulged from its name -- oh, and it has a Wikipedia entry (since that's how I found it in the first place).
I think we also know that the colour is red/pink. Could it be the red-flowered Campsis grandiflora, the Trumpet Vine, of which I have an uncontrollable specimen in my garden (not UK!)? I believe it's of Asian origin.
Yes, I think you know that, too.
[Dandalf] NO.
The Bignoniaceae family?
[Irouléguy] NO.
coleus (solenostemon)?
Although it's better known for its leaves than its flowers, and is also from Africa. Worth mentioning and eliminating, though...
Strobilanthes?
I think we also know that it is probably readily available in European florists.
lipstick plant?
From the Lamiaceae family?
[flerdle] NO.
[Phil] NO.
[INJ] Those are not the words on the card. (audience goes wild!)
[Inkspot] NO.
Aeschynanthus radicans?
(assuming we're talking about the actual plant rather than the genus Aeschynanthus)
Aeschynanthus radicans?
INJ just beat me to this: (Really just to finish things off -- if this is correct, INJ gets the baton.)
That's the epiphyte!
[INJ, CdM] YES!! Well guessed, both of you -- but INJ was first. One lipstick-shaped baton for you, sir.
er, and if you want to know why I posted anyway after the simulpost, rather than just deleting my post, well, that's a really good question.
You can tell work's a bit slack - can't you?
[Néa] - Nice clue on Acanthus. You must know better florists than me - though I do admit to knowing the plant very vaguely.

Anyway, off we go again with ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections

A mythical animal?
[Raak] mythical - NO
Animal = human?
[INJ] Thank you - I was hoping somebody would get the clue! I didn't know the plant very well myself, but now I've read up on it rather a lot. Very educational game, this.
[Néa] human - YES
An activity of some kind?
A political movement?
[Néa] An activity - NO
[Raak] political movement? - NO
Is it found in all cultures?
A symbol?
[Néa] I skipped that plant due to mis-reading the colour :( Ah, well - well done INJ
To do with language?
[Phil] Happens to the best of us. (Obviously.)
[Iroul] found in all cultures? - NO (but be careful about your assumptions)
[Raak] symbol - NO
[Néa] To do with language? - NO (or only in a vague sense)
found in at least one non-European culture?
[Projoy] found in at least one non-European culture? - YES
A public position, in the broadest sense?
[Rosie] public position - NO (no matter how broadly drawn)
Related to an Asian culture?
If you like, you can assume I will ask all the related questions. :)
[Projoy] Related to an Asian culture? - NO not as such, but not unknown in much (most?) of Asia
African - see Asian
South American - see Asian
North American - YES
European - see N American (though some people might disagree)
The audience heckles this display of generosity
Related to entertainment?
[CdM] Related to entertainment? - YES (some applause)
Some form of music?
Now we're getting somewhere
[Iroul] Some form of music? - YES (further applause)
Jazz?
religious music?
Country?
[Phil/Projoy/Rosie] - NO
(to clarify my response to Irouléguy - I didn't take it to mean ' do the words on the card define a form of music?' - just 'is the area of entertainment some form of music?'
The name of a piece?
An organised group of people?
[PJ] name of a piece? - YES
[Raak] group of people? - NO
Was it around before 1900?
Does it have a known composer (or composers)?
Was it around before 1950
Actually, I'll take a guess... Fanfare for the Common Man?
[Inks & Projoy] Pre 1950 - NO
[CdM] known composer - YES
[Projoy] Fanfare for the Common Man? - NO
Is the compser also associated as the performer of the piece?
Inks composer = performer - NO not normally associated as such
Minor correction I think the '(though some people might disagree)' is misleading, so Related to a European Culture = YES
Pop music? (broadly understood as "the sort of stuff that young people like")
Is the animal connection something more than "written by a human"?
[Raak] Pop Music - YES and NO
[CdM] animal connection something more than "written by a human"? - YES (but not a lot)
Sorry, that was me, of course. And as an apology: the Yes & No is partly caused by the definition given.
Is a human referred to in the title?
Would most people here know the composer if they heard the piece?
Does the piece have lyrics?
(sorry for double question, but I thought of this question, which I like a lot better, only after I hit the "stand" button)
Homing in on it steadily
[Rosie] human referred to in the title? - NO
[CdM] Would most people here know the composer? - NO (though I think some would)
[CdM] lyrics - YES (some applause)
Written in the 1960s?
[CdM] 60s - YES
A stand-alone piece of music, or part of a larger work?
INJ] Thanks, that's what I meant (many moons ago)
folk music?
Rock Opera?
Is an orchestra involved in the perfornance of it?
[Iroul] A stand-alone piece of music, or part of a larger work? - YES (oh, all right - stand-alone)
[Projoy] folk - NO
[Dandalf] Rock Opera - NO
[Phil] orchestra involved - Frequently
Was it a hit in the UK?
[Iroul] UK hit - YES
Are the words on the card the title of a song?
(just checking assumptions here)
pop?
[Projoy] Pop? - As I said when this question was last asked, the problem is the definition of terms here. Popular = YES
Was it a hit for a popular beat combo?
Half Man Half Biscuit
[Inks] a hit for a popular beat combo? - NO (or for greater precision - 'YES, but not primarily')
Are you going to answer my question?
A theme tune?
[CdM] Are you going to answer my question? - YES
[Inks] Theme Tune - NO
[CdM] Are the words on the card the title of a song? - YES
A solo artist, then?
American composer and British singer?
I now have Dusty Springfield on a loop singing "I just don't know wat to do with myself" but then it is Friday.
[Projoy] Solo Artist? - YES (most famously)
[Inks] American composer? - NO
[Inks] British singer? - NO
Where appropriate the expression '(most famously)' should be considered as inserted.
British composer?
American singer?
[Projoy] British composer? - NO
[Dandalf] American Singer - YES (audience doesn't actually clap, but is definitely perking up)
European composer?
[Projoy] European composer? - YES
Do one or more colours feature in either the title or the words?
[Flerdle] colours? - NO (title nor words)
A French song rejigged by a Canadian?
(Most famously) a female singer?
Does a non-human animal feature in either words or title?
Strike that (animal=human). A (m. f.)male singer?
Is the composer Jaques Brel?
A Bob Dylan song?
[Inks] French Song - YES (many of the audience look bemused)
rejigged by Canadian - NO
[Iroul/Dandalf] - A male singer (m.f.)
[Inks] Jacques Brel - NO
[Raak] Zimmerman - NO
There's an unchallenged assumption in some of these questions - not yet crucial, but....
OOOOOPS
[Inks] SORRY the rejigged by Canadian was YES (and had I said so at the time there would have been a lot of applause
anything to do with a movie?
[Projoy] to do with a movie - NO - (I reckon Inkspot knows the answer)
Is it most famous for instrumental versions of it?
Perhaps I really meant "are the versions most commonly heard now instrumental versions".
My Way?
HUZZAH
We have a winner MY WAY it is (Originally 'Comme d'habitude', written by Claude François and Jacques Revaux, English language version by Paul Anka - who is of course, Canadian, as I really did know)
Passing the microphone to Inkspot
yay!
Thank you INJ, a bit tricky at the end there as I was torn between Sinatra and Scott Walker and goes back to the "Related to Asian ....Europe" reply.

Anyhoo into the weekend with MINERAL

Is it usually brown?
manufactured?
Congrats - The culture question was a bit tricky as I reckon it's known at least everywhere that knows of Sinatra or karaoke. The unchallenged assumption was the single 'composer'.
Metal?
[flerdle] Is it usually brown - No
[ImNotJohn] manufactured - No
[Dandalf] Metal - No (it is in such very low qunatities that a Yes could be misleading)
A physical geographical feature?
Essentially water?
[ImNotJohn] A physical geographical feature - No
[Rosie] Essentially water - No (a few chuckles from the audience)
solid?
An astronomical object?
To do with petrochemicals?
A geographical feature?
[ImNotJohn] solid - No
[Tuj] An astronomical object - Yes (loud applause from the audience)
[Raak] To do with petrochemicals - No
[Projoy] A geographical feature - No
(as the applause dies down, on or two mutter about solid but are shhhushed and elbowed)
A planet?
A comet?
[Raak] Not essentially water. Or are some comets made of something else?
[Projoy] A planet - No (some of the audience mutter and start to pay atttention)
[Raak] A comet - No
A meteorite?
A moon?
A star?
[Dandalf] A meteorite - No
[Néa] A moon - No (there is some uncalled for throwing of solid objects around)
[Phil] A star - Yes (There is an oooooohhhh as everyone settles down again)
The sun?
A well-known star?
[irach] The sun - YES it was our very own G2 star
[Raak] A well-known star - yes but...
irach well done over to you the throne is yours

Thanks... Here goes
This one is mostly ANIMAL with a little bit of MINERAL.
A woman in a chainmail bikini?
Is the animal part human?
A belt?
[Nea] I wish it were, but No
[Phil] No
[Tuj] No
A leather jacket?
[Rosie] No
Is the animal part alive?
Is the animal a mammal?
[Raak] No
[Nea]Yes. A mammalian source. (The audience stifles its collective yawn mid-yawn at this disclosure)
An item of clothing?
Is the animal part edible?
Is the finished item mass produced?
Some sort of dairy product?
A trumpet made from a yak femur with a metal mouthpiece?
Custard pie in a tin plate?
[Rosie] No.
[Phil} Yes. (the audience sits up, taking notice)
[Inkspot] Yes. In certain climes.
[Irouleguy] Yes! (The audience now cheers)[Raak] No femurs or any skeletal remains involved, nor any Tibetan bovine connection
[flerdle] No, unfortuntely.
Is the animal part ivory?
Egg?
Lassi?
[Danfdalf] No, not ivory, since it's edible... (see response to Phil above. I don't believe ivory is edible,in any culture, or even compatible with human digestion.)
[Projoy]No. (Not an egg, since it it comes from an aforementioned mammalian source. No, not even a platypus or echidna egg)
[Raak] No, but continue to think various ethnic (the audience nudges one another in anticipation as it holds its collective breath).
Yoghurt?
Is the mineral salt?
Raita?
Is the mineral part metal?
Blue Cheese?
[Irouleguy] No, not yoghurt.
[Raak] Yes. The mineral is indeed salt
Raita. No. Think a diffrent ethnicity from Lassi and raita, yet a moo-vable feast.
[Phil] No, but oh, so close- (The audience stomps its feet in apreciation)
Haloumi?
Feta?
French?
Italian?
Stilton?
Hm. Added salt - mozzarella?
[irach] Clearly you've never enjoyed "Oreilles d'elephant au gratin d'ivoire!" :)
The name of a specific cheese?
(I take the 'moo-vable feast' to mean that this ios a cows milk cheese)
Labneh?
Some sort of dressing?
[flerdle] Not haloumi
[Phil] Not feta
[INJ] Oui! The audience rises to its collective feet, kiss one another on both cheeks, and begin a raucous rendition of "Le Marseillase".
[Inkspot] No
[Projoy] No.
[INJ] Yes, name of a specific cheese.
[Irouleguy] Not labneh
[Projoy]Not a dressing.
[INJ] (Wikipedia confirms that it is a cow's milk product)
[Dandalf] While I have eaten fried alligator, and even braved a possum stew once, I have never had the opportunity of partaking of "Oreilles d'elephant au gratin d'ivoire". Do they serve it at L'Pergolese in Paris? Dined there last Wednesday, and it wasn't on the menu that day.
A soft cheese?
(brie/camembert type rather than say Tomme)
Munster?
[INJ] I am guessing not. The salt is probably a brine wash.
oops
[INJ] Sorry, I was wrong. Googling confirms that brie is salted as well. I didn't know that.
Roquefort?
[irach] Not at L'Pergolese, it is a speciality of the Cote d'Ivoire. No longer served in Paris because of CITES restrictions on the export of ivory. Sadly also being phased out in C d'I as source of main ingredients considered endangered, but is being replaced by col de giraffe tranché au Roquefort (q.v.)
[INJ] Yes! It was Brie. (While Brie doesn't have as high a salt content as Cheddar for example, it does have a moderate salt content, as CdM determined by his Googling).
[CdM] Not Munster
[Dandolf] Good guess, but Non
Take it away, ImNotJohn!
Useless trivia "R" us
Roquefort is a sheep's milk cheese...
Well, technically, I didn't actually guess it; still, here goes with MINERAL and VEGETABLE
The Stone Roses?
Edible?
A geographical feature?
[INJ] Not only did you not get it, we still don't even know what kind of brie we were talking about. Brie de Meaux? Brie de Melun? Brie de Nangis? Brie de Reactor?
A manufactured item?
[Phil] Stone Roses - NO
[Rosie] Edible - NO
[CdM] geographical feature? - NO (ish)
[Inks] A manufactured item? - YES (ish)
(depending on definitions of feature and item)
A building?
Is there just one of these?
Is the mineral salt?
[Chalky] building - YES (applause)
[CdM] Just one - YES
[Raak] Is the mineral salt? - NO
An ancient building?
In Asia?
[Kim] ancient - depends on definition, but I would say NO (and in one sense at least - NO)
[Tuj] Asia - NO
Europe?
Heehee
[Tuj] Asia - NO (keep going.........)
Sorry - that's Europe - NO
The Americas?
Keep going? If you insist!
[Tuj] Americas? - NO (You see, Néa was right)
Austrailia?
[Inks] Austrailia? - NO (nor is it Australia?;o))
Africa?
[Projoy] - Africa - YES - now are we going to go through the countries?
Sub-Saharan?
Let's narrow it down.
[Néa] Sub-Saharan? - NO (a little ripple of interest in the audience)
A public building?
[Inks] Public building - YES
The New Alexandria Library?
[Projoy] The New Alexandria Library? - NO
Built after 1900?
In Egypt?
A wooden building?
B & Q, Benghazi?
I don't think I'm going to get this one.
Famous for something?
The Sphinx? (As far as I know straw and reeds were used in its and the pyramids' construction l in addition to stone and mud).
[Inks] Built after 1900? - YES (and NO and YES)
[Tuj] Egypt? - NO
[Raak] A wooden building? - mostly NO, but partly
[Rosie] B & Q, Benghazi? - NO (it's a Focus in Benghazi)
[CdM] Famous for something? - not really sure what you mean - it is famous in its own right
[irach] Sphinx? - NO
In Morocco?
[CdM] Morocco - NO
Tunisia?
*sigh*
Is it in a former French colony?
Great Mosque of Djenné?
Maybe not strictly sub-Saharan, but...
Colonel Gadaffi's Tent?
The Knesset?
YAY!
And the winner is NÉA. It is the Great Mosque of Djenné, the largest mud building in the world, originally built in the 1240, knocked down definitively in 1897, rebuilt in 1907, but also partly rebuilt twice a year - hence my answer about post 1900.
I did hesitate about the 'sub-saharan' question but decided NO was the more informative answer.
(that's not just any old 1240, you understand)

Oooh!!
That's one of those places I've dreamt of seeing in the flesh some time. Or in the mud, rather.

The next one is ANIMAL.
Human?
First things first.
Living?
[Tuj] Human - YES.
[irach] Living - NO.
European?
Lived before Christ?
Male?
Involved in the arts?
Gutenberg?
Writer?
[ImNotJohn] European - YES.
[irach] BC - NO.
[Tuj] Male - YES.
[Raak] Arts? - NO. (There is a connection, but none of his own doing.)
[CdM] Gutenberg? - NO.
[Snodgrass] Writer? - NO.
A politician?
Connected to sports?
Swedish?
British?
A scientist?
[Inkspot] Politician - YES.
[Tuj] Sportsman - NO.
[Raak] Swede - NO.
[Tuj] Brit - NO.
[Rosie] Scientist - NO.
Born in the 18th century?
A former President of a country?
Connected with World War II?
[INJ] Born in the 1700s - NO.
[Inkspot] Former president - NO.
[Tuj] WW2 - NO.
German?
Born before 1850?
[Tuj] German - NO.
[Inkspot] Born before 1850 - YES.
Italiano?
[Projoy] Italian - NO.
ok then...
French?
I do pick obscure subjects, don't I...
[Tuj] Frenchman - NO.
Someone from ancient Greece?
[Inkspot] Ancient, Greece? - NO, and NO.
Born before 1700?
Now we're getting somewhere.
[ImNotJohn] NO.
Does the country he comes from have a Mediterranean coastline?
OK, so he is a European politician born between 1800 & 1850. He is not from Greece, France, Italy, UK, Sweden, Germany. He was not a president. Vague relationship to Arts, but not of his own making (maybe subject of painting or sculpture?).
Born in some part of Prussia which is not part of modern Germany?
[INJ] Mediterranean coastline - *checks map* NO.
At least one of those facts may be slightly misleading, but they are all quite correct.
[Let's assume the last bracketed clause was a question] Subject of painting or sculpture? - Well... NO. (Audience clap!)
[Proj] Prussia - NO.
A monarch?
[Projoy] Monarch - NO (some applause)
Would he have been a monarch, had not other events intervened?
Subject of a performance piece (play, etc)?
[Raak] Would have been - NO. (Audience looks sheepish at having conveyed wrong impression by clapping)
[CdM] Performance piece - NO -- and also (since I'm feeling generous) Subject - not as such, NO.
Jan Paderewski?
Does the country have a coastline?
[Rosie] Paderewski - NO.
[Inkspot] Coastline - Oh YES.
Russian?
An aristocrat or oligarch?
Portuguese?
[flerdle] YES!
[Projoy] Hmmm. NO and YES, in some senses of the term.
[Dandalf] Portuguese - nice guess, but NO.
Alexei Alexandrovich?
Rasputin?
No, can't be -- born 1869.
Prince Vladimir Odoevsky
[flerdle, Raak, Dandalf] NO to all three.
Mikhail Bakunin?
A Prime Minister?
say, Nikolai Golitsyn?
Trotsky?
Oops! Born 1879.
Or perhaps Boris Stürmer
Should I give you a hint?
[flerdle] Бакунин - NO.
[Projoy] Prime Minister - NO, Голицын - NO.
[Dandalf] Троцкий - NO.
[Проюй] Штюрмер - NO.
Grigori Alexandrovich Potyomkin (Potemkin)?
Oh bugger, I got the wrong century!
Was his poltical success in Russia?
or, political, even
Pyotr Valuev?
[Phil] Potemkin - NO.
[Projoy] Political success in Russia - NO! (audience applaud and cheer, but two dissenting groups can be heard arguing)
Was his political success in Greece, France, Italy, UK, Sweden or Germany?
ooops
[flerdle] Valuev - NO.
That wasn't the misleading part
[CdM] G,F,I,UK,S,G - NO.
Clarification
I could have responded to Projoy's question with a YES but that would have led you in the wrong direction, I think.
Karl Marx?
Wrong country
[Dandalf] Marx - NO.
aaaargh!
Mikhail Bakunin?
Did he have anything to do with (an organised) religion?
[Irouléguy] I already arksed that one.
[Irouléguy] Still no.
[flerdle] Religion? - NO.
Political success in USA?
[Dandalf] USA - NO. (See my clarification above).
Did he have a significant influence outside Russia?
Was he alive in 1905?
Did he live in exile from Russia?
[Raak] Influence outside Russian Empire - NO. [flerdle] Alive in 1905 - NO. (murmurs of "oooh, so close")
[Inkspot] Exiled - NO, anything but.
Murdered in Russia?
[Projoy] Murdered in the Russian Empire - YES! (Audience goes wild)
Dmitry Karakozov?
Not really a politician, was he?
[Projoy] Karakozov - NO.
(well, it was a poltical act, but I guess he doesn't count as an oligarch. :)
Served in an Imperial government?
[Projoy] In an Imperial government - YES!
Nikolai Ivanovich Bobrikov?
Sorry, rather hogging this game. That's my last question for a while.
Was he titled?
I mean a Count or some such title?
Bobrikov is also the name of a cat I know.
[Projoy] Major General Nikolai Ivanovich Bobrikov, much-loathed Governor-General of Finland - YES!!
[Inkspot] Titled - No, he wasn't as a matter of fact -- a soldier, not a nobleman.

That was more difficult than I'd expected it to be. The arts connection is via Ulysseus, which mentions the assassination of Bobrikov -- it happened on the day the novel takes place. Also, I think I committed a couple of mistakes by answering too literally sometimes and not sufficiently literally at other times. Feel free to issue edicts and threaten me with years of oppression. Baton goes to Projoy...
Oops. Well, I think I got that one more by carpet-bombing tactics than anything else. Still, here's a (hopefully less wikipedia-heavy) VEGETABLE. (Annoyingly, I thought of a really good one to set the other day, but can I bring it to mind now? Tch.)
wooden?
[Phil] Wooden - NO
Edible?
A textile?
[Dandalf] Edible - NO
[Raak] Textile - NO
(just as a totem against pedantry, I should probably mention there is probably a very small MINERAL element to this, but not in any way that need detain us here.)
Manufactured?
Cooked?
Néa, flerdle] oops, soory - though I had read all the moves.
Darn. I go out and the game runs away...
[Né] Manufactured - YES
[a] YES to your question also.
[Ig] Cooked? Um, NOT REALLY
cardboard box?
though that might be "wood"
[flerdle] Cardboard box? NO
colourful?
Would I normally have one in my house?
[Lib] Colourful - NO
[flerdle] would you have one in your house? NO, you wouldn't.
Carpet?
Haven't thought that through very far but may as well make a guess.
[Tuj] Carpet? NO.
Would I normally have one in my house?
A plant of some kind?
(Tuj) The implication of your guess is that flerdle's house doesn't have carpets. I await the storm. -:)
Is it heated as part of the manufacturing process?
[CdM] In your house? Hm. I DOUBT IT (although I couldn't actually say for certain in your case or flerdle's. Incidentally, I don't have one in my house either.)
[Rosie] A plant of some kind - YES (but that's nigh-on inevitable in this category)
[CdM] Heated in manufacture? YES! *applause*
Hm. At the risk of complicating things the more correct answer to the "would I have one in my house" question, for anyone who might ask it is strictly NO.
Is it edible?
[Rosie] Told you I didn't think it through... (sorry flerdle)
Some kind of tool?
[Tuj] That's already been asked, unfortunately. Incidentally, carpeting is a culture-bound phenomenon. Soft wall-to-wall carpets are unusual here, for instance.
[Tuj] edible, NO *there are some titters in the audience, as some new significance to this question dawns on them*
[Néa] tool, NO
* after a moment, one or two more titters from more lowbrow members of the audience *
Paper?
Sorry, that was a really stupid guess, and it was Blob who made me make it.
[Néa] Paper - NO :)
Is this an artifact manufactured for sexual purposes?
Is it smokable?
[whoever] Carpet in two rooms out of approximately 12. House was built by Italians, who seem to like ceramic tiles. I prefer no carpets; it's cleaner, or at least easier to clean.
[Raak] manufactured for sexual purposes, NO
[flerdle] smokable? YES! *applause*
A joint?
what I meant to say was mari.. maroug... argh... *googles* marijuana/pot/cannibis
Tobacco?
Cigarettes or joints would seem to involve paper (a cigar would not, though). However, tobacco would also explain the cryptic response to "would I have one in my house?" That said, it doesn't seem to explain the tittering response to "edible?" unless I am just insufficiently lowbrow to get it...
[CdM] You just need to hang out with the right people.
A cigar?
[CdM] Yeh, I bet you're so out of touch you have carpet in most of your rooms :P
[flerdle] A joint, NO
[CdM] tobacco, YES
[Tuj] A cigar, YES, but that's not the whole answer...
*applause for CdM, Tuj*
Cuban cigar?
... going for the bleedingly obvious, and probably wrong.

Apparently, in Illinois, it is illegal to offer a lit cigar to a pet.

Cigar-ette?
[flerdle] Cuban cigar, DON'T KNOW
[Tuj] Cigarette, NO
A cigarillo?
A particular cigar?
A Hamlet cigar?
(flerdle) Illinois very nearly passed a law in 1897 declaring that pi was de jure 3.2 exactly. Strange place.
A... err... cigar from the White House? *blushes*
[Rosie] Indeed. Apparently it is also illegal to take a french poodle to the opera (at least in Chicago).

Perhaps there is a game in that...

[Ig] Cigarillo, NO
[Tuj] particular cigar, YES *audience applaud, some start to sneak out to avoid the rush on the car park*
[Rosie] Hamlet, NO
[flerdle] Cigar from the White House? YES *thunderous applause, calls of encore etc.*
Specifically, the cigar that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky... erm... well, you know.... So over to flerdle.
(as you'll gather, my confusion over the "would I have one in my house" was because you could answer it as if it referred to cigars generically or this particular cigar. I started out with the former assumption).
ooerr
Ok, here we go...

ABSTRACT with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.

this game?
[Projoy] Heh. NO.
A genie in an oil lamp?
nice idea...
[Phil] NO.
A degree in woodland conservation?
An activity?
ahhhh
[Phil] NO.
[Néa] NO.
Necessarily involving humans?
Something from fiction?
the least misleading answers are...
(sorry, should recap for clarity)
[Projoy] This game -- NO
[Phil] A genie in an oil lamp/degree in woodland conservation -- NO.
[Néa] An activity -- NO.
[Rosie] Necessarily involving humans -- Depends what you mean. Probably YES (although it could be argued, from another angle, NO).
[Projoy] Something from fiction -- NO.
To do with mathematics?
Is the animal part just one species?
[Raak] To do with mathematics -- can be, but primarily NO.
[Irouléguy] Animal just one species -- YES in one way and NO otherwise (see answer to Rosie's question).
A process?
A long shot - Agriculture?
[Projoy]A process -- NO.
[Rosie] Agriculture -- NO.
Human evolution?
[Dandalf] human evolution -- NO.
a human construct?
thought you'd never ask
[Projoy] human construct -- YES? *audience wakes up and starts arguing*
Is it something that only humans construct?
To do with art?
[Irouléguy] something only humans construct -- YES would be the least misleading answer at the moment. *a small minority of the audience starts arguing again*
[Raak] to do with art -- can be, but primarily NO.
A settlement of some kind?
Is it an activity?
Sorry, already asked.
Is it group of people?
Is there a geographic connection?
[Rosie] a settlement -- (as in 'place where people live'?) NO
[Raak] a group of people -- NO, although there is a relationship between a group of people and the answer.
[Dandalf] Geographic connection -- NO, depending on what you mean by that. The answer is more common in some places than others, but it would be too misleading to answer 'yes'.
Anything to do with death?
[Rosie] to do with death -- NO.
To do with religion?
The environment?
[Raak] to do with religion -- NO

To clarify: Religion, or things to do with religion, can be related in a particular way to The Answer On The Card, but is The Answer to do with religion (or its things) more than to do with other things? NO. This is what I meant in my answer to "to do with art" and "to do with mathematics". Keep going, though.

[Dandalf] is it the environment? -- NO.

Is this an emotion?
[Chalky] an emotion -- NO.
Is it a hobby or pastime?
[Chalky] a hobby or pastime -- NO.
Is a human element required?
If it's not something you can do, is it something you can be?
Science?
[Inkspot] a human element required -- fundamentally YES
[Projoy] if it's not something you can do, is it something you can be -- NO... *audience wakes up and makes encouraging murmurs*
[Dandalf] Science -- NO.
Thought?
[Raak] Thought -- NO... thought is more closely related to this than most of the previous answers, but it's still a fair way off.
Two further clarifications: I have come across this in a work of fiction, but it is not really from fiction. And some people may involve this in a hobby or pastime, but I wouldn't classify the words on the card as a hobby or pastime. I'm not being intentionally vague, honest...
Is this something spiritual?
[Tuj] something spiritual -- NO
A family?
(beats me what the mineral connection would be, in that case, but since we're floundering, it's probably worth a shot or two in the dark!)
[Projoy] a family -- NO.
Wanna hint?
It's definitely not something you do?
(i.e. one does)
[Projoy] It is definitely not something one does, in the way that one does not "do" a door, or one does not "knitting" or "biology textbook". The answer is still abstract, however.
Ethics?
Would this be considered a skill?
Looking at it, knitting, even if in the sense of a noun, is not a great example. Apologies if I've been too pedantic. I hope you get the idea.
[Tuj] Ethics - NO
[Chalky] a skill - NO, although a measure of skill is certainly related to its existance.
(a measure of = an amount of some kind of)
Is it something the brain can do?
Is the vegetable a plant?
Is this anything to do with being funny/having a sense of humour?
Is the mineral water?
[Tuj] something the brain can do -- NOt strictly, although activity of the brain is usually required. *a smattering of claps from the audience*
[Inkspot] is the vegetable a plant -- NO would be least misleading.
[Chalky] to with being funny/a sense of humour -- NO. Hmmm, there is a humour component in the work of fiction I mentioned earlier. But in the main, NO.
[Irouléguy] is the mineral water -- NO would be most helpful here.
hoookay...
To summarise:

This abstract with animal, vegetable and mineral connections is more common in some places than others but is not primarily connected to geography. It involves a human element in some way, more specifically some activity of the brain and even more specifically thought, but is not actually any of these. There is some relationship with a group of people. Only humans construct it (although this may be debated).

Religion, mathematics, art, and non-human animals can have something to do with it but only in a certain sense, and it can be found in at least one fictional work (but not only there) and some people may involve it in a hobby or pastime. It is not in itself an action, process or activity but a certain amount of skill is related to its existance.

It is not: this game, a genie, a degree in woodland conservation, from fiction, an activity, a process, agriculture, evolution, a settlement, the environment, an emotion, a hobby, something you can do or be, science, thought, something spiritual, a family (or group of people), ethics, a skill, a plant, water, to do with death or to do with humour.

I could also say that it should probably be considered to have abstract connections as well, but although strictly accurate, that may not be helpful. I think this summary should be very helpful indeed.

Is it something to do with the visual sense?
more questions, less explanation!
[CdM] something to do with the visual sense -- YES and NO. *several "ooooh"s from the audience, quickly shushed*
Something to do with imagination?
[Raak] something to do with imagination -- NO (except where in agreement with details in paragraph 2, above ("Religion, mathematics...")).

Oh, and apologies for spelling "existence" wrong. Oops.

Something to do with hearing, taste, touch, or smell?
[CdM] to do with hearing, taste, touch or smell -- NO.
Does it have an entry in wikipedia?
Is the answer more than one word [apart from the in/definite article]?
[Phil] Does it have an entry in wikipedia -- NO... *audience starts to take more notice*
[Chalky] more than one word -- YES!
Is it a concept?
[Phil] a concept? YES and NO. *more oooooohs*
Do all of these "YES and NO" answers reflect distinct different meanings of the words on the card?
To do with money?
I think I've chosen a stupid topic.
[CdM] NO. If I understand your meaning correctly, then the words on the card are together a whole entity, and I am not looking at each word in isolation, and the answer does not have two different meanings (so, for example, it is not like the expression "knock off").

The yesnoyesno is because

    (a) there are the properties of the thing on the card -- the "thing" that the words on the card are about, and the way(s) in which it can exist.

    (b) there are things to which the answer/words on the card can be to do with, because of the nature of the answer/words on the card. Thus I have problems saying "no" to "to do with xyz" because yes, it can have something to do with xyz.


To say much more without other questions to answer would be to give it away completely.

[Projoy] to do with money -- NO. (I am giving up on the broader meaning of "to do with" from here on, since it's causing too much trouble.)

How about some good old questions like many of the ones from the first topic in this game, which was also an abstract? Start with "did it exist in ...".

Was this an invention?
Is this some type of human relationship?
OK, did it exist in 1800?
(actually, slight rephrase: "Did it exist by 1800)
[Tuj] an invention -- YES if you mean something made up by people
[Irouléguy] a type of human relationship -- NO
[Projoy] did it exist by 1800 -- YES!
Did it exist by 1000?
[CdM] did it exist by 1000 -- YES
did it exist almost since the dawn of mankind?
[irach] did it exist almost since the dawn of mankind -- NO!
Did it exist by 1CE?
(at least we can get into the right millennium)
Is it a social system?
*feels very old* I had to look up "CE".
To do with language?
[Projoy] Did it exist by 1CE -- YES. One place definitely had examples of this before 1CE, and another had examples of it by 20CE but I can't be more exact than that.
[Tuj] a social system -- NO.
[Raak] To do with language -- YES! *audience bursts into loud and sustained applause*
to do with codes/cyphers?
Did it first appear in the Middle East?
[Phil] to do with codes/cyphers -- NO
[Projoy] first appear in the Middle East -- NO
To do with one particular language?
[Raak] to do with one particular language -- NO.
Is it to do with an aspect of written language?
Is it to do with an aspect of spoken language?
A book or books?
[Juxtapose] to do with an aspect of written language -- YES *audience claps enthusiastically*
[Tuj] to do with an aspect of spoken language -- YES *clapping subsides somewhat*
[Phil] A book or books -- NO *gasps and oooohs from the audience*
law?
[Phil] law -- NO *audience start arguing*
+s
something to do with instructions?
[Phil] something to do with instructions -- YES but not only or always so. *more gasps and oooohs*
Cookery books?
[Raak] cookery books -- NO
Rules?
Card games?
[Projoy] Rules -- NO.
[Raak] Card games -- NO.
In a particular script/alphabet?
The invention of the bound codex, superceding scrolls?
Language schools?
Some sort of command?
[Projoy] in a particular script/alphabet -- NO
[Raak] the invention of the bound codex -- NO
[Dandalf] language schools - NO *someone starts clapping, but is quickly hushed*
[Tuj] some sort of command -- NO.
Grammar?
Connected to translation?
[Rosie] Grammar -- NO *a few claps from more excitable members of the audience*
[CdM] connected to translation -- often YES but not necessarily *cheering starts*
Dictionaries?
It is the lack of wikipedia entry that still has me stumped...
[Raak] dictionaries -- NO! *audience cheers loudly with enthusiastic applause*
[CdM] not everything in the wikipedia has its own entry.
A chrestomathy?
wait a moment while I look that up...
[Raak] a chrestomathy -- NO. (it's in wikipedia, anyway).
Anything to do with books?
[Tuj] Anything to do with books -- YES, some.
Back in a few hours... do carry on.
Diaglossia?
Some sort of system of translation?
(except that would be a process, I guess)
A verse form?
Spelling tests?
A public library?
Something to do with the word "version"?
Printing?
bucket-o-hints
[Raak] diaglossia -- NO (had to check that one too)
[Projoy] some sort of system of translation -- NO, but it can be very useful in this.
[Projoy] a verse form -- NO.
[Phil] spelling tests -- NO, but spelling is an issue.
[Dandalf] a public library -- NO, but it can often be found there.
[Tuj] something to do with the word "version" -- NO, but it often has different versions.
[Irouléguy] printing -- NO, but it is most often printed.
Transliteration?
(except I guess there must be examples of that way into the BCE dates).
(and it's an activity and a process, curses!)
A testimony?
...which isn't right but I'm hoping I might guess something which could point us the right way. Not likely, eh?
Roadsigns?
By, which I of course mean "signage" in general, since you can find it in libraries...
[Projoy] Transliteration -- NO, but transliteration is sometimes involved.
[Tuj] A testimony -- NO.
[Projoy] roadsigns/signage -- NO.
Taking notes?
A text book?
[Tuj] Taking notes -- NO.
[Phil] A text book -- NO.
Begins with a P?
Pheww
[Tuj] Begins with a P -- many of them do. But the answer doesn't. So I have to say NO.
Mmmhwwhhwa? I think I give up.

at least for now.
A group of words?
who am i kidding
[Tuj] A group of words -- *audience gasps* YES it is but that's not The Answer, so NO.
A particular class of word such as noun, verb etc.?
[Projoy] a particular class of word -- *audience gasps again* NO!
Something to do with an encyclopedia?
[CdM] something to do with an encyclopedia -- NO...
Home stretch?
OK, this is getting very long, so here's another summary where the other one left off.

The answer has to do with language, more so written than spoken.
Two places definitely had examples of it before 20CE.
It is an invention, in that it is something made up by people. It is not just a concept.
It has something to do with instructions (although perhaps not directly as much as I first thought).
It is often but not necessarily connected to translation and can be very useful in this.
It has something to do with a book or books.
It can often be found in a public library.
It is most often printed.
It often has different versions.
Spelling is an issue.
Transliteration is sometimes involved.
It is a group of words (kind of) but not a particular class of word.
Many instances of the answer start with the letter P.

It is not "a dictionary" and is not "something to do with an encyclopedia". It did not first appear in the Middle East and is not to do with one particular language.

The audience or some of the audience were impressed when the law, grammar or language schools were mentioned, although it is none of these things.

Oh, and the answer has more than one word (plus an indefinite article), not starting with the letter "P", and it does not have its own wikipedia entry.

An Index?
Forget that; it has a wikipedia entry...
And it is only one word. On the bright side, it doesn't begin with the letter P.
a particular way of organising a group of words?
(it's not a concordance either, as that's in Wikipedia, too)
:-)
[CdM] an index -- NO
Don't think of an elephant!!
I now keep wanting to say anything beginning with P, such as paragraph, page and punctuation.
[Projoy] a particular way of organising words -- NO.
[Projoy] *ROFL*
Is there a typical number of words in this group (or can it vary wildly from a few words to hundreds)?
I know it's not my go, but....
It's not a particular type of morpheme, is it?
Is it an elephant? If not, does its physical manifestation (as a group of words) typically occur only in a particular type (or types) of book?
had to look that one up too.
[Projoy] a particular form of morpheme -- NO
old-world charm...
[CdM] an elephant - that is not the answer.
[CdM] YES! *wild cheering*. the physical manifestation of elephant as a group of words typically only occurs in a particular type of book. I think.
[Projoy] I meant a particular type of morpheme (still NO) Blame too many simulposts.
many apologies
[CdM] and I meant the physical manifestation of The Answer (as a group of words) typically only occurs in a particular type (or types) of books -- YES but, note, The Answer can also occur elsewhere.

(I mis-read "it" amongst the flurry of posting; you can have elephants in lots of books, of course, as well as elsewhere.)

woohoo, quintuple post
Of course, my mistake illustrates my difficulty with aspects of this topic all along. Note to self: don't win again.
[flerdle] Hey, I said don't think of an elephant! :)
PS. Is there a typical number of words in this group (or can it vary wildly from a few words to hundreds)?
[Projoy, elephants] AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH

[Projoy] sorry, that got lost in the flurry of posts and a random backspace. NO. The number of words can vary wildly depending on where The Answer is found and The Answer itself. A random sampling just now gave the number of words as 24, 10, 65, 30 and 352.

Did you perform that random sampling with books that you had to hand?
Can I just say that this AVMA is (a) very good and (ii) very annoying?
[CdM] Did I perform that random sampling with books that I had to hand -- I would answer NO if I was to be evil because I used only one book. YES otherwise.
Is it a subclause (which often appears parenthetically)?
(I know it isn't really, since that appears in all kinds of books, but you have to get this stuff out of your head sometimes)
Wait a second... footnotes?
please excuse my badly mangled second-last sentence up there...
[Projoy] a subclause -- NO :-)
[Projoy] footnotes -- NO.
[Projoy] I have gone through footnotes and other similar ideas in my head, but then I get stuck on the fact that there are also very early instances of the elephant.
Is it some kind of definition or explanation?
[CdM] some kind of definition or explanation -- YES! *audience cheers enthusiastically*
a citation or quotation?
Scrub that, is it a definition in law, i.e. appearing in a contract or piece of legislation?
A dictionary definition?
[Projoy] citation/quotation -- NO, but it can be a very important part of some elephants
[Projoy] a definition in law/contract/legislation -- NO... *audience holds its collective breath*
[Phil] a dictionary definition -- CLOSE ENOUGH!
So, what were the words on the card?
The words on the card are actually "a dictionary entry". You can check the history of the dictionary in the wikipedia. Everything else can be seen above. *audience claps for everyone, especially CdM and Raak, with special cheers for Projoy's perseverence*

*retires*


I suddenly spotted the quotes in It is not "a dictionary" and realised there must be some significance.
Dunno how to follow that epic, but I'll try.

Vegetable

A dictionary?
Blimey, what a struggle!
A drink?
A live plant?
In hindsight, another clue(whether intentional or not)was the answer "not everything in the wikipedia has its own entry" right after the answer to Raak's guess "dictionaries". That was a very good AVMA. Nice one, Flerdle.
[Tuj] Dictionary? Not this time, matey :-)
[Inkspot] A drink? No, although I could do with one.
[Dandalf] A live plant? YES
A tree?
(On the last one I got totally sidetracked by the letter-P-elephant. I assumed there was something special about P.)
Native to a particular country?
Edible?
Typically sold at the local garden centre?
[Projoy] Tree? No
[Dandalf] Edible? YES
[Raak] Typically sold at local garden centre? No
A fungus?
[Projoy] That'd be my fault then :(
A bush?
[Tuj] Fungus? No
[Projoy] Bush? No
A berry?
Coughs politely
A root vegetable?
Does it grow in the wild?
nettle?
[Dandalf] Definitely intentional. [Projoy] many apologies.
A brassica?
flerdle] Do win again - that was one of the best for a long time.
A fruit ?(In the culinary not botanical sense)
Sweet, rather than savoury?
[Tuj, flerdle] No apols necessary. The whole fun of the game is trying to avoid being taken for a ride by your assumptions, and all the questions asked and answers given were completely correct.
Green in colour?
Typically found in the vegetables section of a British supermarket?
[Inkspot] Berry? No
[Rosie] Root vegetable? YES
[Chalky] grow in the wild? No, not as far as I know.
[flerdle] nettle? No
[Irouléguy] Brassica? No
[Dandalf] Fruit? No
[Projoy] Sweet, not savoury? Ummm, no. ( Some hushed comments amongst audience members)
[Tuj] Green? Partly
[Raak] Typically in UK supermarket? No
Carrot?
Yam?
(as opposed to sweet potatoes, which I think are to be found in British supermarkets these days. Aren't they?)
[\tuj] Carrot? No
[CdM] Yam? No (Yes, sweet potatoes are generally to be found in British supermarkets these days)
Chives?
Native to a particular country?
Just ask this one again as it has been over looked
Cassava? which unlike chives is a root vegetable ; -)
[Rosie] Chives? No
[Inkspot] Native to a particular country? (Sorry, didn't spot that earlier) No, as it does not grow in the wild, as far as I know.
[Dandalf] Cassava? No
Taro?
In order to get the last of the obvious ones out of the way.
[CdM] Taro? No - and if that's obvious, I'd hate to see obscure ;-)
Arrowroot?
Jerusalem artichoke?
Don't all cultivated plants have a wild form? Unless only the cultivars have survived and the original wild form is now extinct.
[flerdle] Arrowroot? No
[Dandalf] Jerusalem Artichoke? No - Yes, I presume all cultivated plants do derive from a wild form, but not all specific plants can be found in the wild.
A spice?
[Inkspot] Spice? No
A tuber?
[Inkspot] A tuber? No
A particular plant (rather than a vegetable/plant type)?
[flerdle] A particular plant? YES
Is it grown for human consumption?
[Inkspot] Grown for human consumption? YES - A ripple of applause from the slighly somnolent audience
sugar beet?
[flerdle] Sugar beet? No
Tea?
[Chalky] Tea? No
A swede?
Possibly not called Sven.
Is it grown in the Americas?
Is it typically processed (other than simply by cooking) before being eaten?
[Rosie] Swede? No
[Raak] Grown in the Americas? YES
[CdM] Typically processed before eating (other than cooking)? No, unless you count something like slicing as processing.
Time for a Summary
It is:
A specific, live, edible root vegetable, which is not (to my knowledge) found growing in the wild, and is not native to a particular country. It is grown in the Americas, and is grown for human consumption. It is partly green.

It is not:
A dictionary or a drink. Nor is it a tree, bush, fungus, berry, tuber, fruit, spice, tea, cassava, brassica, nettle, carrot, yam, chives, taro, arrowroot, jerusalem artichoke, spice, sugar beet or swede. It is not typically processed before eating (other than cooking or, say, slicing), and is not typically found in British supermarkets or local garden centres.

Peanuts, or if more "specific" is required Jimmy Carter's peanuts.
[Dandalf] Jimmy Carter's peanuts, or anyone else's for that matter? No
To clarify how specific I meant, the answer is something like "Savoy Cabbage", rather than "Cabbage" (to use a brassica-based example, which we know it isn't).
Is it medicinal?
[Inkspot] Is it medicinal? There are claims to its medicinal properties, so I think I'll have to say YES - Appreciative applause again for Inskspot
Well then ... is it typically consumed primarily for its medicainal properties?
[CdM] Typically consumed for medicinal purposes? No
Jicama?
It seems to me that it has to be more obscure than taro...
[CdM] Jicama? No - there is at least one non-obscure family of root vegetable plants that has not been mentioned at all.
Well, there are bulbs -- garlic, etc. -- but it seems to me that all the non-obscure ones would also be in U.K. supermarkets. So I am very confused...
daikon radish?
[flerdle] daikon radish? No - Audience gets rather agitated at CdM's musings.
Lotus roots?
Vidalia Onion?
[Raak] Lotus roots? No
[CdM] Vidalia Onion? No Disappointed mumblings from audience
Some kind of Allium?
[Néa] Some kind of Allium? YES - Cheers from the audience
Ramps?
[Raak] Ramps? No The audience leans forward in anticipation
Elephant Garlic?
Vidalia?
Is it known by different names in different countries (eg UK/USA)?
[Projoy] Elephant Garlic? YES Tumultuous applause
[Dandalf and flerdle] See above.
What with everyone not thinking about elephants for a day or two, and 30 seconds of Chris Beardshaw at a garlic farm that I saw on TV last week, it seemed the obvious option.
Well, whaddya know? I spend hours on flerdle's one patiently exploring every angle, and about 10 minutes making a random guess on this one, and win...

Anyway, here's an ANIMAL/ABSTRACT...
One word answer?
Human animal?
Does it begin with elephant?
Wildebeest migration?
[Tuj] One word answer, NO
[Dandalf] human? NO
[CdM] elephants involved in any form? NO
[flerdle] Herds of Wildebeeste sweeping majestically...? NO
Mammalian animal?
[Dandalf] Mammal? YES
A feline?
You didn't tee a puddy tat
[Tuj] feline? NO
On further consideration, the best answer to the Human Animal question is YES and NO.
Homo florensis hobbitus?
Fictional?
[Raak] Hobbitses? NO, we hates hobbitses
[Tuj] Fictional? YES
A specific fictional character?
Vampire?
[Tuj] specific fictional character - YES
[Ig] vampire? NO
From a book?
[Tuj] From a book, YEEES *notable lack of applause from audience*
Has it appeared in other media other than books?
[Ink] Other media? YES
Begins with a P?
Different tack ;)
Mr Spock?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? NO
[Phil] Mr Spock? ILLOGICAL! er, I mean NO
Cartoon character?
Captain Haddock?
Extra-terrestrial?
[Dandalf] Cartoon character... least misleading is NO
[CdM] Capn. Haddock? NO
[Tuj] Extra-terrestrial? NO
PS. I'm not especially well today, so I may end up disappearing for sleeps.
A computer-animated character?
Is the other media that of film?
Get well soon Projoy!
[Raak] Computer animated, NO
[Tuj] Film? NO
Television?
A primate? (in zoological rather than religious sense!)
Does the character originate in oral story-telling?
[Tuj] TV? NO
[Dandalf] Primate? YES AND NO (see human above)
[Raak] Oral story telling? FUNDAMENTALLY NO
Comic Books?
[CdM] Comix? NO
Radio?
Male?
[Néa] Radio? NO
[Tuj] Male? YES!
A horse?
A horse, NO *an undercurrent of "oooh!" from the audience*
Does it appear in a song?
Someone who is known for riding a horse?
"An undercurrent of oooh", lovely.
A centaur?
Is it a talking character rather than an animal?
What I mean is Wind in the Willows and Watership Down have talking characters while Tarka the Otter is an animal (hopefully that made sense).
[Rosie] In a song? NO
[Tuj] Horse Rider? NO
[Raak] Centaur, NO
[Ink] Talking character, YES!
Donkey?
Balaam's donkey?
[Né] Donkey, NO *an encouraging burst of applause from the audience (and the sounds of some members animatedly disputing the answer)*
[Raak] Balaam's D? NO
* a kind audience member comes to the front and drops the "a" back into Néa's name.*
Incidentally, these answers about media types are coming up as NO because that's the least misleading answer. In fact this character has almost certainly appeared (but not originated) in all of the above mentioned.
Muffin the Mule?
[Phil] Muffin, NO
A quick summary:
This ANIMAL/ABSTRACT is both human and not. There is a donkey connection. It is a specific male mammalian fictional character that talks. It has almost certainly appeared in, but was not originated in, the following media: TV, cartoons, song, radio, comics, computer animation, oral storytelling, books.
It is not a hobbit, a vampire, a centaur, Mr Spock or Balaam's Donkey.
Bottom?
*cheers*
[Raak] And the same to you! YES. The words on the card are "Nick Bottom, the weaver, while possessed of the head of an ass". Technically, or so I understand, asses and donkeys are not quite the same thing (the latter being the domesticated variety).
[Projoy] As it happens, I've just been reading a book on biological nomenclature and popular imagination in 18th and 19th century Britain, which I must post of elsewhere.
The next item is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and possibly also ANIMAL.
Does it occur naturally?
[Projoy] Does not occur naturally.
Bigger than an armchair?
An item of furniture?
[Tuj] Not bigger than an armchair.
[I] Not furniture
An item of clothing?
Electronic?
Defined by its function?
[Rosie] Not clothing.
[Tuj] Not electronic.
[Projoy] Not defined by its function.
Does it have a function?
[Projoy] Yes, it has a function.
Metallic?
Is the vegetable part processed like rubber or natural wood?
Is it something that can be made of different materials?
[Tuj] Not usually.
[Inkspot] On the whole, I would say no.
[Projoy] The mineral part can be.
Smaller than a toaster?
[Projoy] Smaller than a toaster.
Smaller than a pack of cards
Did it (or they) exist in 1938?
Even I didn't
[Projoy] Bigger than a pack of cards.
[Rosie] Existed in 1938.
Would it be found in the home?
Existed by 1900?
Stationery?
Is it a single unique item?
Anything to do with writing?
[Chalky] Yes, found in the home.
[Projoy] Yes, existed by 1900.
[Tuj] Not stationery.
[Inkspot] Not unique.
[Rosie] Nothing to do with writing.
Existed by 1800?
[Projoy] Yes, by 1800.
Is it generic item?
I would say a generic item (if that's the right term) is something like the wheel, a cup or a crown rather than an attributable invention?
[Inkspot] Yes, a generic item.
Does it have moving parts?
A container of some kind?
Spectacles?
[Projoy] No moving parts.
[Rosie] YES, partly.(Applause!)
[Chalky] Not spectacles.
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] (laughter from the audience at the double entendre) Does not begin with a pee.
Not a toliet is it?
Cuh!
[Tuj] Neither a toliet nor a toilet.
A handbag?
It is I, Rosie.
Usually made of plastic?
Was about to guess "pencil case", then looked at my last-but-one question.
[Rosie in drag] A HANDBAG???? No.
[Tuj] Can be plastic.
Saturday is the last day to get this, as I'm off for a week in the south of France Sunday morning.
Is there a food connection?
Is the mineral part glass?
Back in normal clothing.
[Projoy] Yes, a food connection.
[Rosie] (A sharp intake of breath) Not among civilised people. One has heard that they may do such things on the Continent.
Is the mineral china?
A gravy boat?
An appropriately snooty term.
[Inkspot] YES! (Almost always.)
[Rosie] No.
A cup of tea?
Oops - possibly also animal! (beef tea perhaps?)
A saucer?
[Tuj] A saucer is part of it.
[Dandalf] YES: a cup of tea. Actually, the words on the card are "a nice cup of tea", but that's close enough. (The possible animal part is the milk.)
Oh! just found out I'd won as I was away for weekend. (Kicks himself re milk, but no use crying etc.). Next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Begins with a P?
Hah!
Three-ring circus?
Is the animal human?
Human construct?
[Tuj]- P....? NO
[flerdle]- 0-0-0 circus? NO
[Rosie]- Human? Both human and non-human.
[CdM] HC? hmmmmm...I think YES.
Is it an action?
To do with the body?
[Inkspot]Not an action, but implies activity.
[Projoy]Only remotely to do with the body.
A condition?
A thought process?
Small pox?
[Projoy] Condition? Could be.
[Rosie] Thought Process? NO.
[Lib] Smallpox? Not a pox, whatever the size.
To do with emotion?
A person?
[Projoy] Emotion? NO
[Tuj]A person? NO
Bird flu?
Horse racing?
50-1
Any religious connection?
A bodily function?
Does it require human involvement?
Could someone define "human construct" please, I find these the marmite on toast of the game.
[Inkspot] Quick definition off the top of my head: something that could not exist without a conscious human mind. Others can now refine it: think of this as a wikidefinition.
[Lib] bird flu? NO
[Rosie]Horse Racing? NO (but audience breaks into applause)
[Tuj] NO religious connection
[INJ] Bodily function? NO
[Inkspot]Human involvement? YES
Is the word "horse" in the answer?
Is it a sporting activity?
Hunting?
[Tuj] No horse.
[Kim] Not a sporting activity, though one of the words on the card could be related to sports.
[Rosie] Not hunting.
Is the word 'race' on the card?
[CdM] YES (tumultous applause! Some murmuring that Dandalf gave the game away.)
A Caucus Race?
A one-man race?
Three legged race?
(The) Rat Race?
The human race?
A game face?
[Rosie] The Rat Race YES Well done! [Others} See above.
Right. Earwig-o. An easy one. Nothing whatever to do with the World Cup, or trombones, or steam engines, but nevertheless MINERAL
Non-metal?
(Dandalf) Sometimes non-metallic - not usually.
Begins with P?
A household object?
wahay - a Rosie one! Is it manufactured?
(Tuj) Does not begin with a P
(irach) Found in all households, I'd say
(Chalky) Manufactured - yes.
Does it require electric power?
Found primarily in the kitchen?
(Inkspot) Does not require electric power. *some audience amusement is discernible*
(Tuj) Not usually in the kitchen.
Does "all households" include those in mid- and/or low-income countries?
Is it found usually in the bathroom?
Larger than a toaster?
A mirror?
(CdM) "Households" really means those of the Western world.
(Kim) Unlikely in the bathroom, but possible.
(Dandalf) Larger than a toaster? Certainly in one dimension.
(Tuj) Not a mirror.
Is part of it made from glass?
(Inkspot) Contains no glass.
A piece of cutlery?
(irach) Not cutlery.
Functional (as opposed to primarily decorative)?
Longer than 1 metre?
To do with draperies?
(CdM) Very functional
(Dandalf) Not longer than 1 metre
(irach) Drapery-related? Yes. *considerable applause*
Towel-rail?
Curtain rod?
(Dandalf) Not a towel rail
(irach) Not a curtain rod. I have misled you with the previous answer. It's correct by a strict dictionary definition but misleading. So substitute "Not really". The audience are also dictionary pedants. Ignore them - at least this time.
Coat-hanger?
A COAT HANGER it is! How boring! That was too easy. Next time it will be something to do with steam engines, and not just any bloody steam engine, either. I jest, of course. Well done Dandalf, and over to you.
Well, well! Looks like its time for a hard nut to crack. Try this one - ANIMAL.
Human?
European?
alive?
Anything whatsoever to do with that Fußball Weltmeisterschaft caper?
Human? NO
European? NO
Alive? YES
WC caper connection? NO
Just realised I'll be away until Monday, so if you don't want to wait,we can suspend this and someone can start another in the meantime. Apologies
I'm back and in a position to respond!
A single specific animal?
A mamal?
[INJ] YES [Inkspot] NO
Or rather:
[INJ] YES
[Inkspot] NO
A reptile?
African?
In the news recently?
[Raak]Repile? NO
[Inkspot] African? YES but not exclusively.
[Rosie] In the news recently? Not that I know of.
A migratory bird?
Domesticated?
Dead?
An unladen African swallow?
(since you mentioned hard nuts to crack)
[Inkspot] Not a bird.
[Tuj] Not domesticated.
[Projoy] See above. Don't read anything into my nutty comment.
A fish?
[irach] A fish? YES. Applause, (a few murmurs of nothing much more left was there?)
Saltwater fish?
[irach]saltwater? YES
Shark?
*ahem* *indicates an unanswered question above*
Is a single specific animal someting like the horse called Orca or a specific species eg the lesser spotted Orca?
[irach] NOT a shark
[Raak] Oops. Sorry. Can be dead or alive.
[Inkspot] Not e.g. a fish called Wanda, not a spcific species but a particular genus.
A coelocanth?
Err...
Sorry, I'm a little confused. Is the answer a specific individual animal, per your answer to INJ, above, or a genus of animal? Isn't genus an abstract?
Fished for food?
[INJ] YES!!! Wow. Well done. Coelacanth (or coelocanth) Genus Latimeria which contains two species: the African L. chalumnae and L. menadoensis from Indonesia. Hope that clears up Kim's confusion. [Raak] The coelacanths is not considered a prime food fish but finds its way to fishmarkets, which is where the Indonesian species was discovered. (Thanks Wikipedia)
Well, what do you know?
I don't usually guess that early.

Here we go then, with ABSTRACT with animal connections

A character from a book?
The World Cup?
A particular species or genus of animal?
A living fossil?
[Inks] character from a book? - NO
[Iroul] World Cup? - NO
[Kim] particular species or genus of animal? - NO (but not every species)
[Dandalf] living fossil? - NO
Some subclass of the animal kingdom?
[Raak] Some subclass of the animal kingdom? - NO
Is the animal connection primate?
Is it related to time?
[irach] animal connection primate? - could be
[Inks] related to time? - YES (to some extent) small ripple of applause
To do with the Flood?
Chinese Calendar?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
I only put this up because the words appear in a letter in today's Grauniad relating to the Spanish Civil War and I know the subject fascinates you.
Anarcho-syndicalism, that is.
sorry - wall-to-wall meetings today
[Raak] the flood - NO
[Dandalf] Chinese Calendar? - NO
[Rosie] Anarcho-syndicalism? - NO (nor the Spanish Civil War FWIW)
An event?
[Inks] an event - NO (not a single event, which is my assumption of what you mean)
Evolution?
re - meetings. Thank You For Not Saying Back-To-Back.
Anything to do with huntin' and fishin'?
Are the animals all from one particular area of the world?
[Rosie] evolution - NO
[Dandalf] huntin' and fishin'? - NO (nor shootin')
[Iroul] Are the animals all from one particular area of the world? - NO (they may be, but don't have to be)
Associated with religion?
Does it have to do with generations?
Carbon dating?
Hibernation?
still cold
[Inks] Associated with religion? - NO
[Kim] Nothing to do with generations
[Raak] Carbon dating? - NO
[Dandalf] Hibernation? - NO
To do with agriculture?
Mating season?
Is this something animals do?
Is this particular to humans?
Are te animal featured in works of art (in the widest sense)?
[Raak] To do with agriculture? - NO
[Dandalf] To Mating season? - NO
[Rosie] Is this something animals do? - YES (animals are involved, but it's not an activity as such)
[Inks] Is this particular to humans? - NO
[Iroul] featured in works of art ? - NO
Sorry
I'm going to struggle to get online much for the next week or so.
I'm starting on a new client site, but won't get an internet connection until I've got a desk/workstation/signon sorted out, and then I don't know what I'll be able to access. Also you're nowhere near getting this, so it may be better to suspend it and go for another.
That's The Linesman BTW, and a leek-flavoured podume to anyone who can say it properly.

As Inkspot and I are the only ones to have got a YES in the last one and he's not here just now I'll start a fairly easy one.

It's MINERAL

Manmade?
Ball rolling.
Metal?
Made of one material?
[Rosie] I can say it, but probably not properly.
(Tuj) - Manmade, yes
(Chalky) Not metal
(Inkspot) Yes, more than one material You have obviously survived the attempt. :-)
Smaller than a toaster?
Solid?
(Tuj) As encountered, yes, but not necessarily
(Raak) Solid? Not always.
A household article?
Edible or Drinkable?
(Raak) Yes, but not really an article
(Chalky) Edible or drinkable? Yes, but don't try it..
Would this be a cleaning compound?
Usually found in a kitchen?
(Dujon) Not a cleaning compound *some just perceptible murmurs from the audience*
(Tuj) Probably not in a kitchen, but not impossible.
Bathroom?
Is it used as a spray?
Solid at room temperature?
(Tuj) Bathroom? Not usually.
(Inkspot) Not a spray
(Dandalf) Solid @ R.T.? Yes and no.
Some sort of fat or grease?
Is it for lubrication?
Does it do exactly what it says on the tin?
Train oil?
(Dandalf) Fat or grease? No
(Raak) Not for lubrication
(Irouléguy) It doesn't say what it does
(Projoy) Not train oil. (Haven't got a model railway. Honestly)
A detergent?
Ink?
Is part of it a container?
(Projoy) Not a detergent
(Raak) Not ink
(Inkspot) Not part of a container.
Polish?
(Raak) Not polish.
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] You may have missed a capitalisation there.
(Tuj) Does not begin with a P.
Is it something solid that is disolved in a liquid before use?
An alcohol based concoction?
(Inkspot) No.
(Dujon) No alcohol, industrial, medicinal or recreational.
Is this usually produced from distillates of wood, coal, petroleum and their ilk? (That's it for today 'cos everyone else is in the land of nod).
Plant-related?
[Dujon] 'Fraid not.
(Dujon) YES, it's "chemical"
(Tuj) Not plant-related.
Silly putty?
(Raak) Not silly putty. Much more mainstream.
Sensible putty?
(Raak) Not putty of any kind, but a "sensible" substance nevertheless.
A polymeric material?
Is it something used as a filler or adhesive?
Candle wax?
(irach) YES *applause from knowledgable members of audience*
(Raak) YES *more applause*
(Dujon) Not candle wax.
Blu-tack?
Cyanoacrylate super glue?
Starch?
Silicone rubber?
Just a reminder to all that it's edible or drinkable, but not recommended!
[Dandalf] That doesn't rule out very much really...
(Tuj) Not Blu-tak
(irach) Not cyanoacrylate superglue
(Dandalf) Not starch
(Raak) Not silicone rubber
Polyfilla?
[Rosie] But... blu-tack... I'm in a blu-tack daze as I've just removed 325 bits of the stuff from the walls of my room at uni.
Caulk?
(Tuj) Not polyfilla
(irach) Not caulk.

The "word on the card" is a brand name but the generic term will do.

Bostik?
(Raak) Not Bostik
KY Jelly?
(irach) Not KY jelly. (See the YES's above)
Is it both a glue and a filler?
Sorry Rosie but seeking a clarification to the "or" question by Raak.
(Inkspot) Not both a glue and a filler. I'll tell you it's a glue. :-)
An edible or drinkable (though not recommended) mineral glue? I give up, unless "e or d" means physically capable of being ingested.
(Dandalf) I think you can take it that "not recommended" means it's not intended for ingestion. It was a joke. Sorry if you were misled. This stuff is pretty famous.
UHU Glue?
(Dandalf) Not UHU.
Araldite?
YES! Araldite it is. Everything I possess has got a dab of it somewhere. Well done, Raak. Over to you, squire.
ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections. This may be a difficult one, but it's in Wikipedia. Two words, no articles.
Birthday party?
[Tuj] (some applause from the audience) No.
connected to time in some way?
[CdM] Not really. It would be misleading to say "no", but not helpful to say "yes".
Is the animal connection human?
[I] Yes.
An organisation?
[Rosie] No.
Connected to celebration in some way?
A characteristic?
[CdM] Yes!
[Rosie] No.
Connected to marriage in some way?
Connected to a religion?
[Irouéguy] Er....yes, it is. (Laughter.)
[Inkspot] Yes.
Is the religion Christianity?
[Néa] No.
Is the religion Buddhism?
[Irouéguy] No.
Islam?
...why not keep going?
Zoroastrianism?
(Tuj) why not...?
[Tuj] No.
[irach] No.
Did the religion start in Asia?
Judaism?
[I] Yes.
[D] No.
A vow taken by a monk?
[I] No.
Summary: a celebration relating to humans, marriage, and a religion originating in Asia, excluding Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Zorro, or Judaism. Sort-of-ish-like connected with time. Not a birthday party, an organisation, a characteristic, or a vow.
Part of the Hindu ceremony?
Is the marriage element a real marriage (one person to another)?
[Inkspot] Not Hindu.
[Kim] No. Not a marriage, just a connection with marriage in general.
Is the religion Chinese?
[I] Not Chinese.
Is this some kind of Japanese ritual?
[Rosie](APPLAUSE!) Yes.
Does it happen annually?
Japanese Tea Ceremony?
[Tuj] Yes, annually.
[Projoy] Not the tea ceremony.
Rambling over Mount Fuji ?
[Inkspot] Not Mount Fuji.
Star festival (Tanabata)?
[I] Not Tanabata.
Shogatsu?
[R] Not Shogatsu.
Two words, remember, and some sort of connection to marriage.
Are the two words Japanese?
Is it a celebrated as national holiday?
[Ir] Both words are Japanese.
[In] Not a national holiday.
Hounen Matsuri?
*clutches at straws*
[Irouéguy] The ceremonial straw hat is yours! It is indeed Hounen Matsuri, the Penis Festival.
The what now? On the Wiki article I looked at, it was the harvest festival. Still, the article was just a stub…

Last minute change of plan - my original idea has unfortunate connotations, so our next is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.
[I] I had in mind the specific one held at Komaki. I hadn't noticed the more general harvest festival significance. See the usual nine syllables dot thoeny.com/peter/tagata/tagata1.html.
The Earth and all that treads upon it?
Salty bacon crisps?
A geographical feature?
irach] The Earth and all that treads upon it? No
Raak - Salty bacon crisps? Mmmmm...salty bacon crisps, but no
Chalky - A geographical feature? No :)

Raak] For fuck's saké! Imagine explaining a set of those to Customs.
Smaller than a toaster?
Animal human?
Is it one specific object?
[Irouéguy] Be sure to click onto the following pages to see the three-metre phallus processed through the streeets.
Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? Yes
Rosie] Animal human? No
Raak] Is it one specific object?No

I hadn't noticed there were more pages - I'll check them out when I'm home again.

Just in case there's any ambiguity, Raak's link is definitely NSFW, for almost all values of 'work'.
Is the animal part - part of an animal?
Can you buy it in the shops?
Chalky] Is the animal part - part of an animal? No
Raak] Can you buy it in the shops? In some shops (though mostly a shop isn't the first place you'd go for this).
Is it ornamental?
Is it used in the house?
Raak] Is it ornamental? No
Rosie] Is it used in the house? Hmmm...it can be, but mostly isn't (hesitation becaused 'use' isn't the verb you'd most associate with it).
If not "used", then eaten?
(Thanks for hint)
Rosie] If not "used", then eaten? *applause* Close - some people eat some of it, but 'eat' isn't the most juste either.
Is the mineral part a container?
A cocktail of some kind?
Raak] Is the mineral part a container? No
Rosie] A cocktail of some kind? Yes, but only in the sense of a mixture of different ingredients.
A medication of some kind?
Would it be on the menu of a restaurant?
A drink?
CdM - A medication of some kind? Some people use it for that, but strictly, no.
Inkspot - Would it be on the menu of a restaurant? Quite likely
Chalky - A drink? How kind - large G&T, please
*cheers* YES! It's a drink
An alcoholic drink?
A drink served hot?
Chalky] An alcoholic drink? No
Inkspot] A drink served hot? Yes
Capuccino?
A Meat and vegetable salted soup?
Minestrone? (with or without added croutons)
Bovril?
KA-CHING! Chalky wins! It's capuccino. One chocolate-sprinked low-fat baton handed over.
ooh thanks!
Sorry - haven't been around this weekend so have only just found out I'd won.
Moving swiftly on with ...
A N I M A L
Human?
[Raak] Human? YES
Female?
Alive?
David Beckham?
Currently in the news?
[Inkspot] Female? NO
[Tuj] Alive? YES
[Iroule] DB? NO
[Rosie] Currently in news? Not that I've noticed
A public figure?
[Raak] A public figure? Not sure what you mean.
British?
[Inks] British? YES
Well, a household name, then.
[Raak] Household name? I should imagine so. [I don't do wikiobscurity in this particular game]
A writer?
Sportsman?
Born after 1966?
[Rosie] A writer? NO
[Tuj] Sportsman? NO
[Inks] Born after 1966? YES
Musician?
Actor?
[Néa] Musician? No
[Raak] Actor? YES!!
Forgive me - I've been called into office to work today, so internet access may be sporadic ..
Has he played Doctor Who?
In a current TV series?
Daleks V Cybermen on Saturday for the series finale...brilliant!!
[Raak] Doctor Who? YES!
[Inkspot] Current? YES!!
Now I wonder who will get there first ...?
[..just as well this was so easy because I'm going to be too busy for the next couple of days to pay much attention]
David Tennant?
That's the man! Well played Inks. Timing is all. Over to you for something perhaps a little more challenging?
Yay!! Thank you Chalky

Not too challenging, MINERAL

Metallic?
Man-made?
[irach]Metallic - No is the literal answer (slight giggling from some of the audience)
[Tuj]Man-made - YES
Polymeric?
A household object/substance?
"Instant Nails"?
[irach] - Polymeric? NO
[Rosie] - A household object/substance? NO
[Raak] - "Instant Nails"? NO
Made from a single substance?
[ImNotJohn]Made from a single substance? No
A single object?
To do with transport?
[CdM ] A single object? No (some unhappy audience murmmering)
[Raak] To do with transport? Yes (applause)
Begins with a P?
Tarmac?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? No
[Raak] Tarmac? Yes (more applause)
A road?
[Raak]A road? Yes (applause, the audience excited but are still sat down)
The motorway network?
A specific road?
A dual carriageway?
The Golden Mile?
A runway?
Silver Street?
[Rosie] The motorway network? No (and the audience go ohhhhhh!)
irach - A specific road? Yes (audience cheer)
Raak - A dual carriageway?No
Projoy - The Golden Mile?No
Kim - A runway? No
Projoy - Silver Street?No
The M25?
[Raak] The M25? No (There's a sharp in take of breath as the audience lean forward)
The M1?
M62?
[Dandalf]The M1?No
[Tuj] M62? No
Does it begin with an M?
The Channel Tunnel?
Is it, at least mostly, in the south of England?
The M2?
The M11?
[Raak]Does it begin with an M? Yes
[Lurking Chalky]The Channel Tunnel? No
[Rosie]Is it, at least mostly, in the south of England? Yes and partly (seven of the audience get up for a leek)
[Phil] The M2? No
[Irouléguy] The M11? No
Is the rest of it a number?
[Raak] Is the rest of it a number? Yes (audience are restless)
The M4?
YES, well done Cdm it is the M4. The baton is yours.


That was a lurker's victory if ever there was one. All right, this next one is
ABSTRACT
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Linguistics?
AS? No.
Linguistics? No (but a smattering of applause).
A particular language?
Particular language? No.
About the written word?
A saying or phrase?
About written word? Yes.
Saying or phrase? No (some muttering in the audience).
something that appears in the vast majority of known languages?
In vast majority of known languages? Yes.
A figure of speech?
Figure of speech? No.
jinnan tonyx?
An alphabet or other system of writing?
Universal beverage? No.
ABCs? No.
related to grammar?
Grammar-related? No.
Punctuation?
Is the answer on the card one word?
Diacritical characters?
Punctuation? No.
One word? One word plus an indefinite article.
Diacriticals? No.
some sort of metadata?
Related to pronunciation?
An idiom?
metadata? No.
pronunciation-related? Noo.
idiom? No.
a particular word?
Particular word? No.
A diary?
Long shot.
Diary? No.
Is this a property of a single word (not necessarily a particular one)?
Property of a single word? It could be.
A cliché?
clich&eacuate;? No, no, a thousand times, no.
*sigh*
Is it a metaphor?
Is it to do only with the written word (and not at all with the spoken)?
metaphor? No.
written rather than spoken word? Yes. *applause*
A misspelling?
Misspelling? Non.
An alphabet?
*points at earlier question from Sweden*
An abbreviation?
abbreviation? N.
A heading (eg chapter or paragraph)?
Heading? No.
cursivity (or whatever its called)?
Cursives? Foiled again.
Calligraphy?
To do with computer-mediated communication?
Single-minded? Me?
calligraphy? No.
CMC? No. *after a moment, there are some chuckles in the audience*
One clarification: When asked if this was a property of a single word, I replied "it could be". However, I should probably have made it clear that it need not be, and is not usually so. Also it is not so much the "property" of a word or phrase as a definition of a kind of word or phrase.
An abbreviation?
*paeqfI*
A font?
Most frequently seen in a public space?
font? No.
Most frequently seen in a public space? No, although certainly sometimes seen in a public space.
An inscription of some sort?
inscription? No. (although the aforementioned instances in public spaces would typically be)
An epitaph?
A mobile phone text message?
epitaph? RIP.
txt msg? :-( !! LOL!!!!!
Clarification of my clarification: the words on the card are not a "property" as such but they do imply a property. If you see what I mean. I have probably said too much.
A rebus?
A foreignism?
Rebus, foreignism? 9!
a neologism?
Actually, forget that, not limited to written language.
Something to do with law?
Did it exist in the nineteenth century?
A label?
To do with law? No.
Did it exist in 19th Century? Yes.
Label? No.
A signature?
signature? No.
To summarize what you know so far.

There are two words on the card, of which one is an indefinite article. The answer on the card concerns the written, not the spoken, word. It appears in the vast majority of known languages, it existed in the 19th century, and it is sometimes, though not most frequently, seen in a public space. It could, though need not, be the property of a particular word (subject to the caveat that the words on the card define a property but are not a 'property' as such).

It is not: anarcho-syndicalism, linguistics, a particular language, a saying or phrase, a figure of speech, a G&T (in any language), an alphabet or writing system, related to grammar, punctuation, diacritical characters, metadata, related to pronunciation, an idiom, a diary, a particular word, a cliché, a metaphor, a misspelling, an abbreviation, a heading, cursivity, calligraphy, to do with computer-mediated-communication, a font, an epitaph, a text message, a rebus, a foreignism, a neologism, to do with the law, a label, or a signature.

Reading that through, the only thing that is perhaps misleading is the 'phrase or saying' answer. Just as the answer could (but need not) be a word, so it could also (but need not) be a phrase.
A sentence?
Sentence? No. But see "word" and "phrase" above. (Oh, and missing from my summary: it is also not an inscription.)
A quotation?
a caption?
quotation? "No."
caption? No.
A majuscule?
majuscule? no.
Does it have anything to do with religion?
Does it have to do with literature?
religion? No.
literature? No, except very tangentially.
Is there a particular subject matter for the writing?
Was it around in the 1500s?
Particular subject matter? Definitely not.
Around in 1500s? Yes.
Does this exist in ideographic languages (eg Chinese, Japanese)?
Does it rely on the existence of printing?
A letter? (Communication, not alphabet.)
Does this exist in ideographic languages? Yes, although it is arguably somewhat different in those languages. *audience applauds the question*
Rely on printing? No.
A letter? Dear Raak. No. Love, CdM.
Does it have anything to do with alphabetical order?
deorr? No. (nevertheless, a smattering of applause)
A word square?
WO
R  D       ? No. (the audience, which had been looking anxiously at the door waiting for Tuj, begins to sit up and take notice)
A crossword?
Crossword? F*ck No! (oblig.)
A palindrome?
Anagram?
Begins with a P?
Who, me?
A smiley?
Not a bad draw, all. I'll award da baton.
The correct answer is indeed A PALINDROME.
...and double drat.
Phew. The next item is M I N E R A L
Sorry, I keep on thinking that FFFFFF is the black end of the color space. The next word is M I N E R A L. (No significance in the charcoal grey colour.)
Is it an invention?
[Inkspot] Yes, an invention.
Invented prior to 1700?
(Btw, I am glad Raak got that last one; he put in most of the heavy lifting, and got closest. I thought it would fall much more quickly, particularly since written word was identified so quickly.)
[CdM] Not invented prior to 1700. (Discontented murmuring from some of the audience who think they know the history of this thing. The laser display board explains the ruling to them.)
Was it invented in Britain?
CdM] Thanks - one of the most enjoyable for a long time
[I] Not invented in Britain. (It's not clear from Google exactly who invented it or exactly when, but I'm going with the most likely suspect.)
A battery?
Long shot.
Invented in the 20th Century?
[R] Not a battery.
[K] Not invented in the 20th Century.
Does it require electric power?
[I] Does not require electric power.
Used in the home?
[Projoy] Not normally used in the home.
Metallic?
Used on a ship?
Am I likely to own one? or want to own one if I don't already?
[Projoy] Could be used on a ship.
[Lib] You likely to own one? I think not. You want to own one? Not that I know of, at least, not in the capacity of a nurse or a singer.
*ahem* Or doctor.
[Projoy] Apols to Lib. A doctor, qua doctor, would not be likely to have one of these either.
Begins with a P?
[Raak] You appear to have missed irach.
[irach] Not normally metallic.
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
Is it used in retailing?
[I] Not used in retailing.
Made of glass?
[Inkspot] Not made of glass.
Related to travel?
Used by a particular profession or trade?
[Projoy] Unrelated to travel.
[I] Yes! Used by a particular profession or trade.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A tool of some kind?
Made of plastic?
A musical instrument?
Part of it a liquid?
[C] Smaller than a toaster.
[R] Yes, broadly speaking.
[C] Can be made of plastic.
[I] Musical instrument? Er. Yes and no.
[I] No liquids involved.
Is it a tool used in the arts?
Bigger than a pack of cards?
[irach] Used in the arts. applause
[Projoy] Difficult to compare them.
Paintbrush?
[irach] Not a paintbrush.
A comb?
Used in the performing arts, as in dance?
[Rosie] Not a comb.
[irach] Used in the performing arts.
A dance acessory?
[irach] Not a dance accessory.
A drumstick?
[Rosie] Not a drumstick.
Is it used onstage during a performance?
A Swanee Whistle?
[Inkspot] Yes, used onstage.
[INJ] Oo ooooo-oooo OOOO-oo? Nooo.
Conductor's baton
(actually, probably not, cos they tend to have a cork end)
With or without cork, Projoy is correct: a conductor's baton. (Invented, or at least popularised, by Louis Spohr in the 1820's.)
Oh, right-oh, then. MINERAL (maybe the odd trace of the other two, but MINERAL is by far the most sensible category)
Actually MINERAL/ABSTRACT.
A work of art?
Involves gold?
[Raak] Work of art, NO (*the merest momentary demurring murmur from just one audience member*)
[irach] Involves gold? NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE
A coin?
Metallic?
[Raak] A coin? NO
[irach] Metallic? YES, PARTIALLY
Manufactured?
[Rosie] Manufactured? YES
Does it have moving parts?
Invented since 1900?
[Inkspot] Moving Parts - YES
[INJ] Since 1900? YES
[INJ] There are two possible answers to that question, although as it happens they are both YES.
A computer?
[irach] A computer? YES *significant applause from audience*
Designed by Babbage?
[Raak] Babbage? NO (except inasmuch as all computers are)
Invented since the 2900?
I've worked on programs written for International Computers and Tabulators machines
Hmm..
[INJ] Invented since the 2900. This time the two answers bifurcate: YES and NO.
The computer HAL in 2001:A Space Odyssey?
Fictional?
[Tuj] Yes, fictional, and
[irach, who is clearly on the same astral wavelength as me today] HAL 9000? YES *audience applause*
*looks suspiciously at the monolith behind irach*
Coincidentally, I was listening to the theme music of the movie on the radio when I made my guess...Even more psychic!
The next one is very simply ANIMAL.
A person?
Alive?
A specific individual?
[Inkspot] No.
[Rosie] Yes or No.
[Raak] No.
Native to a region of the world?
[Inkspot] Fairly widespread globally.
Four-legged?
[Raak] No.
Three-legged
It's a process of deduction.
[Projoy] No.
A mammal?
[Inkspot] No.
Any legs at all?
A virus?
[Raak] No legs at all.
[Inkspot] Not a virus. Quite macroscopic.
Part of an animal?
[Rosie] No, the whole animal.
A fish?
A reptile?
A snake?
[Irouleguy] Yes ! A Fish!
[Inkspot] By deduction from comment to Irouleguy, NO.
[Tuj] ibid.
A freshwater fish?
Can a fully-grown one exceed 1 metre in length?
Cod?
A shellfish?
[Inkspot] No.
[ImNotJohn] Quite possibly.
[Irouleguy] No, not cod.
[Chalky] Not shellfish.
A deep sea fish?
[Inkspot] According to Wikipedia, not necessarily exclusively a deep sea fish.
Do we routinely catch it and eat it?
[Rosie] While I have never caught one (and I kind of doubt you have), it IS routinely caught and eaten.
Shark?
[Raak] No, not shark.
Squid?
[Projoy] Not a squid (No legs, remember? Not even a multiple-amputee squid). Think Phylum Pisces.
Squid have tentacles! :P
[Projoy] Squid are in the order Decapodiformes which literally means ten-legged, although you are correct in that the tentacles do not function really efficiently as legs. Neither do the legs on a two-legged stool. : )
Tuna?
[Inkspot] Not tuna.
Some sort of ray?
[irach] Just cos the Greeks got it wrong is no reason to perpetuate the error. :) Interestingly, Wikipedia refers to them as "arms".
A skate?
Not a skate.
Would I be likely to find it at the fish counter in the supermarket?
[Raak] Very likely to find it at the fish counter.
Some sort of ray?
[Projoy] Not a ray.
A ray-finned fish?
[Inkpot] Yes, a ray-finned fish (Class Actinopterygii).
A Salmon?
[Inkspot] Not salmon.
Haddock?
Cod?
[Irouleguy] Not haddock.
[inkspot] Not cod.
Herring?
Mullet
[Phil] Not herring.
[Inkspot] Not mullet, either.
Is this normally found in the waters around Britain?
Of the super order Acanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii ?
Of the super order Paracanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii?
While it is quiet ....
Of the super order Protacanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii?
Of the super order Ostariophysi form the class Actinopterygii?
[Irouleguy] Certainly found in the North Atlantic Ocean and the North Sea.
[Inkspot] Actinopterygii, yes, but not any of the orders mentioned.
(Time for a clue?)
[Inkspot] I retract my former comment to you. It should have been a "Yes" to Superorder Acanthopterygii.
Plaice?
[Irouleguy] Getting much warmer, but no. [The audience is on tenterhooks].
Swordfish?
That was me.
Sole?
[Chalky] No.
[Inkspot] Very warm, but not quite there. [the audience's sole response is to stand in plaice, and some begin applauding the fact that the net is finally cast in the right direction to bring in the big fish].
Gosh - the anticipation is killing me ...
Flounder?
[CdM]. Yes, flounder it is. Actually the word on the card I was looking for was "Halibut", but "flounder" is close enough for a win, since halibut are a class of flounder. Take it away, CdM....
Looks like I just lurked my way to another victory. All right.
VEGETABLE and MINERAL
A building?
Building? No.
Edible?
A mass produced manufactured item?
Edible? No.
Mass-produced manufactured item? Yes.
Made of wood and metal?
Made of plastic?
Can it be held in one's hand?
Does it use electricity?
Wood and metal? No.
Plastic? In part.
Held in one's hand? Um. Yes and No.
Use electricity? No.
Clarification: As it happens, I have held this in my hand. But under normal circumstances you would not think of it as being something you can or would hold in the hand.
Has it working parts?
Working parts? No.
Always the same size?
(not meaning to within a fraction of an inch, but roughly the same)
Always the same size? The words on the card imply no necessary specific size at all. There is considerable variation in most actual instances as well, although you might still say that most actual instances are (very) roughly the same size. (Audience applauds the question, even as they try to make sense of the answer.)
And to clarify (!) I should say that many actual instances are indeed roughly (as opposed to (very) roughly) the same size.
Is it bigger than a shoebox?
Is it used in entertainment?
Bigger than a matchbox?
Is it used in industry?
Bigger than shoebox/matchbox? In the actual instances that I referred to, it would be bigger than a shoebox (and it would pretty much always have to be bigger than a matchbox).
Used in entertainment? Broadly speaking, yes.
Used in industry? No.
Used for a recreational activity?
To do with audio reproduction?
Recreational activity? Yes. (Perhaps not always, but yes is the best answer).
audio reproduction? No.
(nothing from me for the next 18 hours or so -- about to get on a plane)
Used in sports?
[CdM] Look out for snakes.
Could it be found in a home?
Used in sports? Yes. applause
Could it be found in a home? Highly unlikely.
Used in one particular sport?
One particular sport? No, although largely confined to a small number of sports.
A ball?
Some form of protection?
Is it too big for one person to carry?
A goal?
Ball? No.
Protection? No.
Too big for one person to carry? Yes, in usual circumstances (but see earlier responses)
Goal? No.
Is the vegetable cotton?
A scoreboard?
cotton? No.
scoreboard? No.
Astroturf?
Astroturf? Not quite, but massive applause
A piece of Wembley Stadium turf?
A running track?
getting colder
Wembley? No.
Running track? No.
Astroturf was really very close indeed, but not exactly right.
A pitch?
Some form of matting, eg for high-jumpers to land on?
Actually, upon reflection, I think I should just award the victory to Raak. I was actually looking for Fieldturf, which is sort of a new generation astroturf (made of rubber, sand, and plastic, and much more like real grass). (Fieldturf, like astroturf, is a brand name, but I think there are several manufacturers of similar products.)
Number 2, I guess, at least in popular consciousness.

The next is MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections.

A sculpture?
Iron hand?
A natural feature?
[C] Not a sculpture.
[i] Not an iron hand.
[R] Not a natural feature.
Does it have religious connections?
[I] No religious connections.
Is it in a particular country?
[I] Not specific to any country.
Is it a mass-produced object?
[I] Yes, mass-produced.
Is it edible?
Is it actually an object, as opposed to a substance?
[C] Not edible.
[R] An object.
Is it made of glass?
[C] Partly made of glass.
Larger than a telephone kiosk?
[C] Smaller than a telephone book.
Was it invented?
[C] Oops, misread your question. Well, it's smaller than a telephone book.
[I] Invented. Actually, one might question whether there was an "inventive step" in first making these, or if it was an obvious application of existing inventions, but patents have been granted on slighter grounds.
A microscope?
Taking a pot shot from the halfway line.
[R] Not a microscope.
Is it a product of a particular company?
Would it have a use in a particular part of one's house?
[I] Not a particular company.
[T] Yes (although it could be used anywhere in the house).
A stationery connection?
Connected to lighting?
Connected to lighting?
[P] Not conneted to stationery.
[C] Connected to lighting? Sort of.
Anything to do with time?
[C] Nothing to do with time.
Does it have an optical function?
Is it used on its own, or is it a component of some larger entity?
A window?
[P] Yes! It has an optical function. Applause!
[C] Neither.
[P] Not a window.
Eyeglasses?
Small picture frame?
[i] Not eyeglasses.
[P] Not a picture frame.
Is a lens involved?
[P] Yes! More applause.
A camera?
[T] Yes, a camera. But that's not the whole answer.
A digital camera?
[I] Yes, but that's still not quite the whole answer.
A camera phone?
[Tuj] Not a camera phone.
A webcam?
A disposable digital camera?
[I] No.
[CdM] Yes, a webcam. Back to you.
Wow. I am on a roll again. OK
MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Related to computers?
computer-related? No.
A geographical feature?
geographical feature? At least part of the answer is a geographical feature, and the whole answer is arguably also a geographical feature, at least for a broad definition of geography. applause
I'm seeing some sort of man-made structure on an island or rock - am I WAY off the mark?
Is the abstract connection in any way spiritual?
Lunar crater?
after such a good start...
manmade structure on rock? Way off the mark.    :-)
spiritual connection? No.
lunar crater? No.
A country or territory of some sort?
Country or territory? No.
Man-made?
An ocean or sea?
Man-made? No.
Ocean? No.
The face on Mars?
Is water involved?
Face on Mars? No.
Water involved? Yes. applause
A lake?
Lake? No.
Flowing water?
Is there just one of these?
Flowing water? No.
Just one of these? Yes is the least misleading answer.
Is it underground?
Underground? No.
A reservoir?
Yhough it probably counts as a lake.
Preview, dear boy. That should be, "though".
A Glacier?
Reservoir? No.
Glacier? No. smattering of applause
The Arctic ice cap?
A comet?
Arctic ice cap? No.
Comet? No.

Correction and apology: I should have answered "yes" to "a glacier?". (The technically correct answer is perhaps "no", but this is very misleading.)
In the southern hemisphere?
Southern hemisphere? Yes.
In South America?
South America? No.
An ice-shelf?
The Ross Ice Shelf?
Ice shelf? No.
Ross ice shelf? No, a fortiori
In Africa?
Yay, the Internets are back!
Africa? Yes.
A glacier in Africa? Google...

Is it in the vicinity of Kilimanjaro?

The Snows of Kilimanjaro, as in Hemingway?
YES! The words on the card are "The Snows of Kilimanjaro", with the abstract connection being the Hemingway short story and the subsequent film. *hands icicle to irach*
Thanks, CdM (he says, as the icicle begins melting and dripping)... this one is ANIMAL.
Human?
No.
A mammal?
[Irouleguy] Not a mammal.
Extinct?
Does it have legs?
Something made out of an animal?
Native to a particular continent?
Large enough to see?
Part of an animal?
[Kim] Not extinct.
[Phil] Yes, it does have legs.
[Tuj] No.
[Inkspot] Not native to any one continent.
[Raak] Yes, plainly visible and macroscopic.
[Rosie] No, not a part of an animal.
An insect?
[CdM] Not an insect.
A bird?
Amphibian?
[Raak] Yes, a bird.
[Kim] No, not amhibian.
Any emblematic significance?
A seabird?
Emu?
[Rosie] None that I'm aware of.
[Phil] Yes, a coastal bird, but not exclusively so.
[Tuj] Not an emu.
A cormorant?
Grey Gull?
A hawk of some kind?
[Irouleguy] Not a cormorant.
[Kim} Not a grey (or otherwise coloured) gull.
[Chalky] No, not a hawk of any kind.
Tern?
[Kim] Not a tern.
Native to the UK?
[Kim] Not native to the UK, according to the British Ornithologists' Union list of British birds.
[Rosie] In researching your earlier question, Yes, it is of emblematic and/or symbolic significance.
A puffin?
[Irouleguy] Not a puffin.
Waterfowl of some nature?
A vulture?
(irach) Thanks for doing that. :-)
[INJ] A waterbird that frequents water, yes.
[Rosie] No, not a vulture.
A loon?
[CdM] Not a loon.
Endangered?
[CdM] The loon is on the British list, only it's called 'Great Northern Diver'
[Irach] By waterfowl I meant a bird in the duck, coot, rail group, to distinguish it from say Fish Eagle or heron.
[CdM] Not a duck, loon, goose, swan, coot, rail or gallinule. Not Anidae.
[CdM] That should read Anatidae, of course.
[INJ] Not endangered. At least one species of this bird was endangered earlier, but has made a good recovery and is no longer considered so.
[INJ] Actually, I did a little more digging on the web, and the species in question is still considered endangered in parts of its range, while it has been removed from the list in those zones where it has made a very good comeback.
Pelican?
*waits for INJ to explain that the pelican is exclusively coastal, or some such other objection*
[CdM] Yes, Pelican, it is! Bravo! Take it away...
I actually thought of pelican much earlier, but then misread a Q&A and thought it had been ruled out. Anyway.

ABSTRACT (perhaps with VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections)
An activity?
An activity? No.
An organisation?
An organisation? No.
A human construct?
(oblig.)
Human construct? Yes.
Is this found in all cultures?
Begins with a P?
Found in all cultures. No, but it is widespread.
Begins with a P? No.
An academic study?
Academic study? No.
The audience, very belatedly, decides it should offer some applause in response to Inkspot's question.
Is the vegetable connection edible?
An anarcho-syndicalist flag?
Edible vegetable? No.
A-s flag? No. Some laughter in the audience
To do with politics?
Politics? No.
Any religious connections?
A connection with music?
A philosophy, in the broadest sense?
Religious? No.
Music? No.
Philosophy? No, unless you want to be very broad.
Is it fictional?
Fictional? No.
Anything to do with clothing?
To do with clothing? Yes, though not exclusively. applause
Appearance?
Appearance? No.
The Shield of British Fair Play?
To do with a particular item of clothing?
shield of British fair play? No.
particular item of clothing? No. some applause
Is the answer on the card one word?
The Emperor's New Clothes?
An insignia?
one word? Two words plus a definite article.
Emperor's new clothes? No.
An insignia? Yes, broadly defined. applause
The Union Flag (Union Jack)?
Union Flag? No.
Is it normally attached to clothing?
A designer label?
Normally attached to clothing? Most often, yes. applause
Designer label? Yes, broadly defined (though not exactly). applause
a care label?
A logo?
Care label? No.
A logo? Yes. applause
The Nike Symbol?
Nike? Yes! The words on the card are actually "The Nike Swoosh", but that's close enough. *hands branded baton to Projoy*
Oh dear, that was a bit of a lurker's victory. Nevermind...
VEGETABLE/MINERAL/ABSTRACT
A natural product?
Whaddya meeeen Never mind? I'm furious, as always.
Begins with a P?
[Rosie] There, there. Mine usually don't take long to get... A natural product? NO.
[Tuj] Begins with a P? YES
Yes!!
(no question)
Smaller than a phone box?
Oh alright then.
[Tuj] Smaller than a phone box? YES
A Mr. Potato Head?
[Raak] Kartoffelkopf? NEIN
Is the vegetable wood?
Is it mass produced?
The peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked?
[Ig] Wood? PROBABLY
[Ink] Mass-produced? I DOUBT IT
[CdM] The sum of stewed squash stolen by some silly sod? NO
Primarily produced for artistic, rather than practical, reasons?
[INJ] I'm not sure there's anything other than a misleading answer to that other than IT DEPENDS.
Is it found in the home?
[Raak] Found in the home? NOT NORMALLY
Does music come into this?
[Chalky] Music connection? NO
Smaller than a shoe-box?
[Ig] Smaller than a shoe-box? NO
Found on a ship?
[Raak] On a ship? NO
Is it street furniture?
[Rosie] Street Furniture, YES *applause, although there are some dissenting voices*
[INJ] On further reflection, there are two separate answers to the "artistic, rather than practical" question. One is an unequivocal YES, the other is a tentative NO.
Festive ornamentation of some sort?
[Raak] Festive Ornamentation? NO
Parking meters?
[Ig] Parking meters? NO (but a sensitive ear can make out the sound of one hand clapping)
A shelter of some kind?
[Rosie] A shelter? YEAH, I GUESS
Bus stop?
[ir] Bus stop, NOPE
A bench?
[ir] Bench, NOPE
Parking garage?
[ir] Parking garage, NOPE (don't forget - is smaller than a phone box)
parasol?
[INJ] Parasol, NO * a slight chill breeze wafts from the audience *
A Parking/No parking sign
(no) parking sign, NOPE
A pissoir?
[Rosie] Pissoir? NOPE
[all] I know it seems like it's been narrowed down quite a bit, but critical information about the answer has yet to be unearthed, hence most of these guesses missing.
A café umbrella?
[Raak] Café Umbrella? NOPE
Specific to one culture/country?
Is the shelter for people?
Park bench?
And it begins with P!
Is the vegetable wood?
[INJ] Specific to one culture/country? NO, NOT REALLY
[Ig] Shelter for people? SORT OF (it's not for any other species either)
[Tuj] Park bench, NOPE
[Raak] Wood? PROBABLY, BUT MIGHT NOT BE
Is it put there by the local authority?
[Rosie] Local Authority, NO
(put where, btw?)
Would it normally be found on the UK pavement as opposed to the US pavement?
[INJ] UK/US? NO. Wouldn't normally be found in either place.
Is it found in a particular type of location?
Some kind of fencing?
A pier?
[Rosie] Particular type of location? YES and NO. The most helpful answer is NO.
[Tuj] Fencing? NO
[Ig] Pier? NO
[Rosie] Actually, it could be that the most helpful answer is YES, come to think of it. Sorry, not wishing to be perverse, but there's still something you don't yet know about this thing that, one you have found it out, would enable me to give much less equivocal answers.
A pier?
I am so blind - apols for such blatant repitition
Is it fictional?
Pillarbox?
[Phil] apology accepted :)
[Tuj] Fictional? YES *relieved applause and cheering*
[Phil] Pillarbox? NO, although the notion of taking shelter in a pillarbox is amusing me as I type.
From a book?
Pfff blimey. Can't believe we hadn't questioned the abstract sooner.
[Tuj] From a book? YES
One specific, individual thing?
[Raak] Specific, individual? YES
[Projoy] It's only "sort of" a shelter for people, so I thought it might be a shelter for things, that people use. But, you could shelter one hand at a time in one :-)
Is the book science fiction?
[Raak] SF? NO.
A porch?
[Raak] Porch, NO.
A Priesthole?
(only they have them in non-fiction too, but it's all I can think of)
[Phil] Priesthole? NOPE
Is it a 20th century book?
[Ig] C20th book? YES
Is the book set, broadly speaking, in the present day (as opposed to being obviously historical fiction or obviously set in the future)?
[CdM] Broadly present-day, YES
(there is a case for a NO answer, but that would be a bit obnoxious)
Are there multiple instances of this one specific thing? (I'm trying to reconcile "specific individual thing" with "not specific to one culture")
[CdM] Multiple instances? NO (there's no especial reason there couldn't be, but only one is mentioned - there's nothing about the one instance encountered that is (particularly) specific to one culture)
Is the book set in a recognisable real location or locations?
(I'm making up for all the questions I didn't ask earlier.)
[CdM] Real/recognisable location? NO (and YES, but mostly NO)
Would the book be considered as basically for children?
[CdMaddendum] Which is to say in terms of "recognisable", the answer is definitely NO, and in terms of "real", it's MOSTLY NO.
[INJ] Basically for children? YES *applause*
In a Harry Potter book?
[INJ] Harry Potter? NO.
In a Narnian chronicle?
[CdM] I'm not that far back in the closet. NO. ;-)
In a Philip Pullman book?
[Ig] Philip Pullman? NOPE (even though he begins with P twice!)
Book from the last 50 years?
[Tuj] From the last 50 Years, YES
A Tolkien book?
Is the writer British?
Pub sign?
Pinocchio?
Just one book, or a series?
[Phil] Tolkien? NO
[Inkspot] British? NO
[Tuj] Pub sign? NO
[ir] Pinocchio, NO
[Ig] Just one book? YES
Da Recap
So, it's a fictional, single, individual object which is smaller than a phone-box, larger than a shoe-box and appears in a one-off C20th children's novel by a non-British author, which is mostly set in unreal locations, published some time in the last fifty years. It may be described as "street furniture" (with some potential for controversy) and The Answer begins with a 'P'. More dubious are the details of what it's made of (probably wood), where it is most likely to be found, and whether it is likely to be mass-produced (unlikely, IMO). I won't go thru all the things it's not, but will note that some people will have heard of it, others will probably require google.
French?
[INJ] French? NO
European?
OK, let's be systematic about this.
Phantom Tollboth?
And can I just say that, if that isn't right, then it ought to be.
[INJ] European, NO...
[CdM] Phantom Tollbooth? YES!! *collects checkpoint fee and hands baton back to CdM*
Never heard of it, nor will many others, thus excluding them from the game. Google it? What do you type into Google? "Something I have never heard of". Go! This is by no means the worst example of an inappropriate subject, there being many of them so arcane that you just give up, bored, knowing that eventually some clever clogs will winkle out the answer. I could retaliate, of course, if I ever win again. It will be a steam engine. Not just any old steam engine. Oh dear me no. A particular type and not only that, a particular class. And not just any old loco of that class but a particular engine. And will it be notable in any way? Not necessarily. Wouldn't that be clever? The point I am making is that this game has departed a long way from the original concept, which was conducted live and necessarily needed maybe unusual but universally-known subjects. It needs to stop being a research project or a showcase for clever boys and return to its more modest origins.
Ditto, never heard of it :-(
[Rosie] Oh, rubbish. If we stuck to obvious stuff, this game would have run out of steam much earlier. I enjoyed finding out about, for example, Bobrikov, set by Néa earlier in the game. I'd never heard of him, but that hardly excluded me from the game (in fact it was me who dug up the answer after about 20 minutes' research).
Besides, anyone who hasn't heard of the Phantom Tollbooth has just had the good fortune to discover it. It is one of the classics of literature and they should read it at once (preferably in an edition with the original Jules Feiffer cartoons).
Bobrikov, and Bluebeard (which I found through Google) were good - difficult, and involved learning something new, but they were relatively "googlable". Luckily, the Phantom Bluetooth appears to be well enough known for someone to get it, it's just us grumpy old men that have never heard of it ;-)
Lets move on and work the next one out :-)
(Projoy) There is an absolutely huge number of subjects that are universally known. The skill is in picking one that is a little off-beat and needs a little imagination to guess. That's what the original Animal, Vegetable and Mineral was about. Turning it into a research project is a negation of the original idea. I have no interest whatever in which particular species of South American lizard, or which character from some science fiction novel the questioner is thinking of. That is just so nerdy. And boring! It's meant to be a game. Time for another extended absence from this one, I feel.
[Rosie] Please don't deprive us of your presence from this game. Surely now your opinions have been aired and taken into account by the rest of us there should be less of a problem? I'm in the "never heard of it" camp for the last one, but that happens every now and then - and I'm sure it does for everyone. Trying to come up with subjects every single time that every member of a multi-national group of people from a fair age range have heard of wouldn't be too easy. Yes, if there happens to be another subject soon that the majority of people consider inappropriate we can have this kind of discussion, but shall we just get on with things for now?
[CdM] By the way, no pressure on choosing the next topic ;)
(Tuj) That's very kind, and I actually enjoy the game, yes really, but only up to the point where I reckon the answer must be something I've never heard of, at which I just switch off and hope for something better next time. OK, I'll put in some questions then, if you insist. :-)
[Tuj] Well, I was thinking about picking a particular steam engine...
[Rosie] I understand where you are coming from -- halfway through the last AVMA I remember thinking "well, if this is from a Philip Pullman book I might as well give up now." At the same time this game, like so many that we play, is different from its antecedent, and I think this is a good thing, not a bad thing. This online version is played using google from time to time, and that does open us up to more obscure topics. As to whether Projoy's particular choice was too obscure, I am inclined to think not (but then, I did know the answer). The answer was the title to the book, not something from within the book, and I do think the book is acknowledged as at least a minor classic of children's literature -- maybe not in the A.A. Milne or Lewis Carroll or C.S. Lewis league, but comparable to perhaps the works of Roald Dahl or Arthur Ransome. Like Tuj, though, I would urge you to keep playing. On which note,
ABSTRACT
A human construct?
Human construct? Yes is the least misleading answer.
Does it have religious connotations?
fictional?
To do with language?
Religious connotations? No.
Fictional? No.
To do with language? No.
To do with computers?
To do with emotions?
Computers? No, except in a very tangential sense.
Emotions? No.
To do with numbers?
Reality TV?
Is there just one of these?
Begins with a P?
Stephenson's Rocket?
No forget that - it's got to be Mallard.
A space of some kind?
To do with numbers? Hmmmmm... Not as such, yet numbers do play an important role in practice.
Reality TV? No.
Just one of these? No.
Begins with P? No.
Stephenson's Rocket? Not even close. :-)
A space of some kind? That is also a tricky one. I would say Yes, but I worry that that answer will mislead.
To do with mathematics?
Is it a game of some kind?
Connected with Physics?
[Rosie] Since it's abstract, it would have to be the Mallard Imaginaire.
"Something I've never heard of"?
A relationship of some sort between humans?
Moebius loop?
To do with mathematics? No.
Game of some kind? No.
Connected with physics? No.(There are very vague connections to physics and math, but I think they are unhelpful)
Something Projoy has never heard of? :-) No.
Relationship between humans? No. (Except in a very vague sense!)
Moebius loop? No.

Not to be discouraging, but nothing is hitting anywhere near the mark yet...
Anything to do with environmental issues?
To do with the arts?
To do with perception?
To do with environmental issues? No. (Again, I suppose there is a very vague connection.)
To do with the arts? No.
To do with perception? No.
To do with the internets?
To do with the internets? No. Although, as a clue, I might point out that it had absolultely nothing to do with the internets at all until relatively recently, and now it does have something to do with the internets, as in fact I proved when I originally set this AVMA.
AVMA?
To do with music?
To do with motion?
"Mallard" did 125 mph, you know.
To do with randomness?
Music? No.
Motion? Yes. *some applause*
Randomness? *tosses coin, checks* No.
*ahem*
To do with holidays?
The diesel land speed record?
Journey? Ticket?
The speed of light?
Some sort of delivery?
Would it have been known about/understood pre 1700?
Does it refer to the absence, rather than the presence of something?
Forget the speed of light, it's obviously not that.
oops
A clearing of the throat? No.
AVMA? No.
Holidays? No.
Diesel land speed record? No.
Speed of light? *forgets* Delivery? No.
Understood pre 1700? No. *ripple of applause*
Absence vs presence? Presence rather than absence.
Some sort of taxon?
The Hubble constant?
Technology-related?
A force?
The Poincare Conjecture?
Gravity?
Is it associated with/a product of a particular branch of science?
Kinetic energy?
taxon? No.
Hubble constant? No.
Technology-related? Yes, in the sense that it that would not be meaningful without a particular technology.
Poincaré Conjecture? No.
Gravity? No. *some laughter in the audience mixed with a smattering of applause*
Associated with particular branch of science? Yes, if "science" includes applied sciences.
Kinetic energy? No, although there is a vague connection.
Anything to do with planes?
Is the technology computing?
Flight?
Railway timetable?
To do with planes? Yes. *applause*
To with computing? Well, the primary technology I was thinking of was aeronautics. There need not be a connection with computing, but in practice there usually is.
Flight? No. *significant applause*
Railway timetable? No. *sudden silence*
The simulated absence of gravity on a plane flying a parabolic path?
Bernoulli's Principle?
Lift?
Which could be correct, as Tuj's "A Force?" was not answered.
oooops again
zero g? No.
Bernouilli Principle? *tosses coin, checks* No.
Lift (or other force?)? No.
*surreptitiously removes "i" from Bernoodle*
To do also with money?
Jet lag?
Forget last question
jet lag?
...
...
...
...
No.
The gyroscopic effect?
OK, to do also with money?
gyroscopic effect? No.
to do with money? No.
Satellite Navigation?
satellite navigation? No. *more applause*
Altitude?
Elliptical orbit?
altitude is one of the two words on the card. *sustained applause*
elliptical orbit? No.
Cruising Altitude?
If that doesn't work I'll let others have a go.
Density Altitude?
No, I think INJ has it, actually.
Pressure Altitude?
Just in case INJ hasn't got it.
Cruising Altitude it is, prompted by the fact that I posted that AVMA at a height of 38,000 feet somewhere over Central Asia. *automatic pilot hands baton to INJ*
OK, a quick one then.
This one is MINERAL.
BTW I'm spending the long weekend away from contact. (No phone, no mobile connectivity, without walking 15 minutes, no road). So if you haven't got it by bedtime there could be a long pause.
naturally occurring?
Is there more than one instance of this?
[PJ]naturally occurring - YES
[CdM] >1 - NO is probably the less confusing answer
Larger than a house?
[CdM] > house - YES
A geographical feature?
Well this is going quickly
[Phil] geographical feature? - YES (applause)
In Europe?
[Phil] Mineral, larger than a house, INJ setting the clue -- it had to be a geographical feature. :-)
On Earth?
*senses possible topicality*
Is its name of plural form?
As in the Alps, the Urals, the Six Counties, etc.
[CdM] Europe - NO
[PJ] On Earth - YES (no ice balls here)
[Raak] name of plural form? - NO (that's not why)
Africa?
(Feel free to assume the rest of the questions :-) )
Feeling Liberated
[Néa] Africa - NO
(Feel free to assume the rest of the answers)
Asia?
[PJ] Asia - YES
The audience is following intently.
A Himalaya?
[Tuj] Himalaya? - NO
A group of islands?
Is it at sea?
A named object?
[Néa] archipelago? - NO
[Raak] At Sea? - NO (a few wry grins are seen),br>[PJ] named object? - YES
Preview, you Great Dummacks!
New Orleans?
A lake?
Which Asia was that?
[Raak] New Orleans? - NO
[Rosie] Lake? - YES
(Most of the audience applaud - a few sit pointedly on their hands)
The Caspian Sea?
Nearly there
[Néa] Non-princely Caspian - NO
Lake Baikal?
Aral Sea?
Lake Vostok?
And it’s a lurker’s victory for irach – the Aral Sea it is. The singular/plural question is because the evaporation has continued to such an extent that there are at least 3 unconnected bodies of water.

So, have a good weekend and over to irach.


Well, well, well... The next one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] As a matter of fact, Yes.
Manmade?
[Rosie] Yes.
Bigger than a telephone box?
Score!
[Tuj] No, smaller than a telephone box.
Bigger than a shoebox?
A household device?
[Projoy] Generally not larger than a shoebox, and definitely not in two of the three dimensions.
[Rosie] May occasionally be used in the household, but is also frequently utilized in other locales.
A man-made object?
[CdM] you obviously know him better than I do
Used in sport?
A passive object, i.e. not powered?
[Phil] Yes. A man-made object.
[Tuj] Not used in sport.
[Rosie} Not powered by electricity or any fuel.
A leather-bound filofax?
Is the vegetable part paper?
[Raak] No. Not a filofax.
[Tuj] The vegetable part is not paper.
Is the vegetable part wood?
Is the animal part alive?
[Tuj] Yes, the vegetable part is wood.(The dozing audience opens half an eye)
[Raak] Not alive.
Is the mineral part metal?
A musical instrument?
[Tuj] Yes, the mineral part is metal.
[Raak] Not a musical instrument.
Do many people carry this with them?
[Rosie] Most people have carried it at some time, some people carry this some of the time; a certain profession carries it more often than others.
A mobile phone?
[Rosie} Not a mobile phone.
Is it a penknife or pocket knife?
[penelope] Neither a penknife or pocket knife.
An umbrella?
[Raak]. Not an umbrella. (begins with "p", remember? Not a parasol either, however. As a clarification, one does not "carry" it so much as "handle" it in its use).
Does it have a use in an office?
A pen?
A container of some kind?
[Projoy] Not generally used in an office.
[Chalky] Not a pen (the audience stirs ever so slightly, though}
[Rosie] Not a container.
Connected with making marks?
a picture?
Connected with paint?
A paintbrush?
[Projoy] I presume one can make marks with it.
[INJ] Not a picture (but the audience sits up, taking notice, and a few nod knowingly)
[Raak] Yes. Connected with paint... (oooh, so close).
[Tuj] By Jove, you got it! YES - a paintbrush it is.
I say, I actually won one! That's never happened before!
So, I'll kick off with a nice easy ANIMAL.
Human?
[Kim] Nope.
Begins with a P??
[Néa] Naturally :D
Currently lives wild in Britain?
[Raak] Possibly, but a less misleading answer I think would be NO.
Dingo?
Is it a bird?
[irach] Not a dingo.
[Rosie] Not a bird (or a plane, or indeed Superman).
Do people keep it as a pet?
Is it a mammal?
Is it sometimes used a s a work animal?
A single named individual animal?
[Raak] Pets? No.
[Néa] Not a mammal.
[irach] Not a work animal, though it is useful.
[INJ] Not a specific single animal.
I feel so negative... at least you know it begins with P, eh? ;)
Does it live on land?
[INJ] As opposed to sea or sky YES, but that's not a brilliant answer.
Maybe I should have made more of the fact it's useful...
Does it live in fresh water?
Is it an insect?
Is it bred for a specific purpose?
[irach] No, I don't think so.
[Chalky-1] No...
[Chalky-2] Yes! (though not in all instances)
A pig?
A reptile?
[Rosie] Not a mammal, apparently.
[Rosie & Projoy] Neither a pig nor a reptile.
An invertebrate?
Individually visible to the naked eye?
Is its skin made into leather?
"Leather" includes crocodiles, snakes, eels, etc
Is it a fish?
Is it an animal product?
[irach] Spineless indeed.
[INJ] Probably...
{Raak] No!
[Kim] No!
[Chalky] YES! That's a much better line to go down.
Honey?
Edible?
[Rosie] No.
[Irouléguy] Yes *audience thinks about applauding, then doesn't
*
Eaten by human beings?
[Projoy] Taken in by humans, yes. Not sure what it'd do to anything else.
Do people drink it?
Connected with brewing or distilling?
[Raak] No
[Projoy] No.

I don't think I'm very good at this.
Is the animal a bird?
[Raak] Nope, that's been asked before (Rosie) and we've also established that it's iffy whether a single one would be visible to the naked eye (INJ). As far as your previous question goes, it is "eaten" as such, although I just don't think that's the right word.

I'm going away tomorrow for a few days so this may get abandoned.
Does whatever it is sort of just hang around in the air?
[Projoy] No I'm afraid.
Is it alive?
Paramoecium?
A medication?
[Projoy] The animal yes, the animal product I'm fairly sure not
[irach] Afraid not
[Inkspot] Yes! *audience applause threatens structural instability*
Penicillin?
[Projoy] YES! *lights flash, trumpets sound*
'cuh, thank goodness that's over. I'll go back to guessing!
Oh dear, me again. OK, something everyone will have heard of, this time. ABSTRACT
Begins with a P?
Ahh, much better.
A human construct?
(Tuj) Penicillin is not an animal product but originally came from a mould. It can now be synthesised chemically.
[Tuj] YES, it does begin with a P!
[Rosie] YES, a human construct. Hm. Are moulds animal or vegetable or taxonomically in an "ancestor-to-both" category?
Procrastination?
[CdM] I'll tell you later.
To do with art?
Procrastination?
[Rosie] Yes, I realised I'd plunged in and labelled it animal without considering vegetable, but never mind. Thankfully my mess was cleared up by Inkspot & Projoy.
[Raak] Art? Most helpful answer is NO.
[Tuj] I'm getting to that one. It's the next thing on my list. More later.
An organisation?
(Pj) Moulds are a type of fungi, apparently. I can't see how there can be any connection with animals. Animal can turn into Vegetable eg manure (there's polite for you) but surely not the other way round?
[Rosie] Organisation? NO.
Is it fictional?
[Is] Fictional? NO
Is there a religious connection?
Anythig to do with furries?
Predestination?
Plutocracy?
Parsimony?
[Ig] Religious connection? NO
[Raak] Furry connection? NO
[Chalky] Predestination, Plutocracy or Parsimony? NO
A political concept?
[Rosie] Political? NO, well, only in the vaguest possible way.
Philosphy?
[Phil] Osophy? NOPE. (I do sometimes think that knowing the first letter is actually a bad thing. Encourages premature guessing).
An emotion?
(not wanting to be premature)
[Phil] An emotion? NO.
Premature Guessing?
Har har :P
[CdM] Premature Speculation? NO
Poincaré's Conjecture?
Possible event?
An activity?
Pantomime?
( [Tuj]With regard to the earlier one, can "Penicillin", a fungus, really be classified as an "animal"? Shouldn't it have been "vegetable"?)
[Raak] Poincaré's conjecture? NO
[Inkspot] Possible event? NO
[Ig] Activity? NO
[irach] Panto? OH, NO IT ISN'T!
Probability of having its own Wikipedia entry?
[Inkspot] Technically, I can answer only YES or NO, but since it's you, I shall reply that the probability is 100%.
Did it exist more than a century ago?
Is it an artistic style?
A bodily function? (not necessarily a rude one).
[Raak] More than a century old? YES
[Phil] Artistic style, NO
[Rosie] Bodily function, rude or otherwise, NO
To do with language?
[Raak] Language connection? NOT REALLY, except in a fairly catch-all sense.
Is it timeless?
[Phil] Timeless? NO
What it's not...
Art, organisation, fictional, religious, furry, political, philosophical, emotion, possible event, activity, panto, style, bodily function, language, timeless.
The definition of planets?
Scientific/Technical?
[Raak] Definition of planets? NO
[Rosie] Scientific/Technical? YES (for the most part) *audience applause, although one or two pedants get into fistfights*
Also - it isn't predestination, plutocracy or parsimony.
*is somewhat bemused by the pedants who have to resort to fisticuffs and tells them it's not THAT important - fer gawd's sake*
Periodic Table?
[Elemental, my dear Chalky] Periodic Table? NO
A theory?
[Inkspot] A theory? NO
Anything to do with the weather?
Is it an "-ology" ?
[Rosie] To do with the weather? NO
[Philology]? NO, not an ology.
[Projoy] Takes a lot to make me laugh on a monday morning, but thanks for "Philology" - raised a titter, at least :-)
Anything to do with a craft of some sort?
[Raak] To do with a craft of some sort? Strictly, NO (but note my emphasis).
A general skill?
[Raak] NO, not a skill. (damn, thought we were almost there for a moment!)
Is it a practice of some kind?
[Kim] Practice, NO.
Need a clue?
WE will ask the questions!
Er, actually, yes.
Clue-o-rama
OK, strictly it's not to do with any particular craft, but it is relevant to craft in general, so long as you take a very broad definition of craft (i.e. not corn dollies and marquetry). In principle it need not be to do with science and/or technology, but in practice it usually is. The Answer is not a verb, gerund or adjective, nor is it any kind of "ism".
(The Answer is a single word, too).
Production?
[Phil] Production, NO? * murmur of interest from the audience*
[CdM] Procrastination, NO (Sorry for the delay).
Anything to do with the occult?
[Chalky] To do with the occult, NO (not that kind of craft, either :))
Does it invove making pictures?
Powerpoint?
[Raak] Involves making pictures? OFTEN, IN PRACTICE *smattering of applause*
[Chalky] Powerpoint, NO.
photography?
strike that - silly guess, photography is an activity
is it a graphics programme?
[Chalky] Graphics programme, NO.
We'll be right back after this message from our sponsor....
PS. Having just looked up fungi in Wikipedia (nothing to do with the answer to mine), I read this: "Fungi were originally classified as plants, however have since been separated as they are heterotrophs. This means they do not fix their own carbon through photosynthesis, but use carbon fixed by other organisms for metabolism. Fungi are now thought to be more closely related to animals than to plants, and are placed with animals in the monophyletic group of opisthokonts." The article classifies them as "Kingdom: Fungi", so maybe this game should become AVFM?
+A
(after further research) Hm. Possibly the game should even be Animal, Plant, Fungi, Protista, Archaebacteria, Eubacteria, Non-Organic, Abstract. Might take the fun out of it, tho.
[Projoy] What about objects that refuse to define themselves in terms of an oppressive system of categories that makes no allowance for their unique viewpoint?
[Raak] They must be sent to the salt mines.
Day dreaming?
[Inkspot] Sorry, yes, I was miles away.
[IS] Er, daydreaming? NO.
Linked with a particular culture or country?
[all] Sorry for finding out it began with P...
[all again] But far more sorry for my momentary lapse in forgetting the "vegetable" category - luckily I've been away over the weekend and my embarassment has cooled. And to me (and most I guess) mould would certainly be vegetable, whatever dratted Wikipedia thinks.
You and Linnaeus, even, so you're in good company
[Tuj] Linked with a particular culture or country? NOT ANY MORE
Is it a process?
Was this thing invented by mankind?
[Phil] Funny, that's just the question I was going to ask in my post-before-last.
[Phil] Is it a process? UMMMM, NO (a process is involved, however)
[Tuj] Invented by mankind? YES (i.e. a human construct)
In the last 500 years?
[Tuj] Invented in the last 500 years? NO.
[Projoy] I think we have already had this discussion.
The last thousand?
This is a struggle, but a very interesting one.
One last thing before I give up, as this thing is an abstract human construction is it a thought process or something like that goes on in someone's head.
Proof?
Hello everyone. I've been away far too long.
[Tuj] Invented in the last thousand years. YES. Some accounts say that this was around a long time before its "official" invention date in the last thousand years, but I'll go with the account that gives a specific date.
[Inkspot] Thought process? NOT EXCLUSIVELY, this thing (rather than process) is abstract (i.e. non-tangible), but it is also translated into tangible form and because of that it has a definite effect on people's behaviour in the real world.
[flerdle] Proof? NO, although proof (in the informal sense) is often involved.
Printing?
[Raak] Printing? NO (not that informal sense of proof!)
propaganda?
A pendulum?
[flerdle] Propaganda, NO
[Raak] Pendulum, NO
(and if the diversity of those last few guesses isn't a hint that we still need more broad deductive questions, I don't know what is!)
To the question by Tuj "Linked with a particular culture or country?" you replied "NOT ANY MORE". Does that mean that it began in one country but it is now world wide.

ps if yes, a great clue would be the coutry of origin.

Is it associated with a particular way of life?
OK, let's be a bit helpful here...
[Inkspot] OK, for nothing I shall reveal that this thing first appeared (according to the account I am following) in Venice first (when Venice was a country).
[Phil] Associated with a particular way of life? NOT REALLY (unless you mean particular professions?)
Pasta?
[Raak] Wikipedia says that pasta originated in many places independently, the earliest records being from China, so NO.
Patents?
[flerdle] PATENT, YES! *astonished but grateful applause from the audience*.
Well, it couldn't be double-entry book-keeping
Gosh.

OK, short and simple:       VEGETABLE

Is it really a fungus? :)
*giggles*
[Projoy] Fungus? NO
Is it green?
Is it edible?
Is it wood?
Is it a whole plant? (Not having played here for months)
[Projoy] Green? Can be
[Chalky] Edible? YES
[Raak] Wood? NO
[Darren] a whole plant? NO
Is it a pepper?
Or an apple?
Or tea?
[Darren] a pepper? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Projoy] an apple? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Irouléguy] tea? NO.
A particular dish?
Pizza?
[Projoy] a particluar dish? YES and NO, but probably more helpful if you take that as "YES".
[Raak] Pizza? yes please!! oh.     NO.
The recommended five portions a day?
[Projoy] It's seven portions here... but either way, NO
Salad?
Is it associated with a particular country?
Is it eaten hot?
[Projoy] Salad? NO
[Inkspot] Associated with a particular country? YES! *audience cheers*
[Raak] Eaten hot? NO
A European Country?
Is any sort of grain product involved?
Beguns with a P?
[Projoy] a European country? NO. Well, not at first.
[Raak] involving grainproduct? NO
[pTuj]   starts wuth a P? No. Sorry.
Is the country India?
Ottoman Empire or some other way of saying "Turkish" that wasn't, at first, European?
Tofu kebab?
[Darren] India? YES! *more cheers*
[Projoy] Turkish etc? NO
[Raak] Tofu kebab? NO
NB need sleep, sorry for the upcoming delay, do guess on...
Ayurvedic cuisine?
Some sort of curry?
Does one find it in Indian restaurants outside India?
Contains mango?
Some sort of chutney or pickle?
[Projoy] Ayurvedic cuisine? vaguely.
[Darren] Curry? NO but ever so close
[Raak] found in Indian restaurants outside India? YES
[irach] contains mango? YES and no. Depends.
[Irouléguy] a chutney or pickle? YES!! *audience cheers wildly, orders takeaway*

Chutney it is. Over to you Irouléguy


Sorry for the delay! Out all day, and I'm out again tonight. Another quick one, I hope - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
Male?
Raak] Fictional? NO
Inkspot] Male? Usually, but not exclusively.
Symbolic?
The name of a job?
Raak] Symbolic? NO
Projoy] The name of a job? NO
Is it an activity?
A game?
Is the animal connection human?
Connected to religion?
Is more than one sort of animal involved?
Chalky] Is it an activity? *applause* YES
Rosie] A game? *louder applause, quite possibly beer-fuelled* YES
ImNotJohn] Is the animal connection human? YES
Inkspot] Connected to religion? *some sardonic chuckling* NO
Raak] Is more than one sort of animal involved? YE-ES, though I don't think that's helpful.
Football?
Game hunting?
Fuzzy Duck?
Cricket?
Assuming the ball contains leather.
Golf?
Raak - Football? NO
Projoy - Game hunting? NO - the other animals are red herrings
Phil - Fuzzy Duck? *the audience break into teams to play* Nice idea, but no.
Rosie - Cricket? NO *polite applause*
Assuming the ball contains leather - that assumption contains two unasked questions.
Darren] Golf? NO
Is it a ball game?
Darren] Is it a ball game? YES
Golf?
A team game?
Lacrosse?
Primarily associated with a particular country?
Handball?
Wondering whether games with implements like bats/clubs/whatever would have vegetable/mineral/whatever connections.
Baseball?
Is the animal connection _only_ human?
Rosie hits a a home run! It's baseball (the other animal connection being the leather-covered ball - I did say it was a red herring.) *Hands bat over*
Good heavens, I've won. Better have a lie down. That's better.

Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines, but nevertheless MINERAL.

Metal?
A geographical feature?
Does it require electric power?
(Tuj, Phil, Inkspot) Not metallic, geographical or electrically-powered.
All together now, A human construct?
Smaller than a phone box?
(Projoy) YES, made by humans.
(Tuj) YES. Strictly, extremely unlikely that it's not.
Made of glass?
(Raak) - Made of glass? YES - *vigorous applause*
A container?
Is it made from just the one material?
A beer glass?
Raak - A container? - NO
Inkspot - Made from one material? -YES
Irouléguy - Beer glass? - How dare you? - NO
A decorative item?
(Phil) - Decorative item? Could be, but real answer is NO.
It is for looking through?
A scientific item?
(Raak) - For looking through? - NO
(Phil) - A scientific item? - YES
A pipette?
Is it a container?
(Irg) A pipette? - NO
(Darren) Already been asked - NO
Does it have other uses aside from the scientific one(s)?
(Darren) - Other uses - YES (if science and technology are distinct)
Thermometer?
(irach) - NO - Not a thermometer.
A mirror?
A prism
Can't believe no-one's asked if it starts with "P" yet...
(Raak) - Not a mirror, but (Phil) YES! - A prism. Carry on; it's all yours.
Well, stap me vitals, Bloodnok!

OK, this time I'll go for VEGETABLE & MINERAL

The vegetable's wood and the mineral's metal?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
Anything to do with dispensing inebriating fluids?
[Irach 1] Wood? CAN BE
[Irach 2] Metal? NO
[Darren] Walkers' Finest S&V? NO
[Rosie] To do with intoxicating liquor? NO
Bigger than a telephone kiosk?
[Chalky] Bigger than phonebox? NO
Is it a manufactured object?
A tool?
Is the mineral fluid?
[Darren] Manufactured? YES
[INJ] A tool? NO
[Raak] Fluid mineral? YES
Is the fluid water?
[Darren] Water? Not entirely
Is it a container of some sort?
[Chalky] Container? NO
Any connection with weather forecasting?
Barometer?
[Chalky] Weather forecasting? Dear God, NO - who do you think I am? :-)
[Darren] Barometer? NO
Is the water sea water?
Is it a drink?
Begins with a P?
Oh.
[Raak] Sea water? NO
[Inkspot] A drink? NO, unless you have very bizarre tastes...actually, just make that a stright NO
[Tuj] Begins with P? Sorry, NO.
Is the fluid used for cleaning?
Is the fluid colourless?
[Rosie] Fluid for cleaning? NO
[Inkspot] Is the fluid colourless? I don't know, but it could be I suppose.
Would you normally find it in the home?
Normally found in the home? Hmmmm, how pedantic do I want to be. YES, it could normally be found in a home; NO, a home is not the only place it is normally found.
Is it a measurement device?
Is the vegetable also part of the fluid?
[Kim] Measurement device? NO
[Inkspot] Is the vegetable also part of the fluid? NO
I think I need to provide a little guidance/clarification. The "manufactured object" does not contain any fluid.
Is it edible?
[Tuj] Edible? NO
Is it something that you put into a fluid?
Is it more likely to have a use in the workplace?
[Raak] Something that you put into a fluid? NO
[Chalky] More likely to have a use in the workplace? Possibly, but I'd say equally useful at home as at work.
Smaller than a toaster?
[Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? YES
Anything to do with sports?
Anything to do with cooking?
Is the vegetable part alive?
Is it something one could wear?
[Chalky] Sport? NO
[Rosie] Cooking? NO
[Tuj] Live vegetable? NO
[Darren] Something one could wear? Hmmm..it has been done, but I'd say NO.
Is it used to separate something from something else?
A newspaper? (The paper is dead vegetable, the printing ink being a fluid mineral, and newspapers have known to be worn on a couple of occasions, one can use it at home or in the office)
[Darren] To separate two things? NO *some whispering in the audience*
[irach] Newspaper? NO, *audience applauds irach's effort, despite it being wrong*
Is it printed paper?
Is paper involved?
Is is something to do with the arts?
[Raak] Printed paper? NO
[Tuj] Involves paper? NO
[Kim] To do with the arts? NO
*An audience member stands up and explains that they were applauding irach for applying his deductive powers and coming up with an excellent explanation, even though "newspaper" still isn't close*
A further hint/elaboration. The mineral fluid is used in the manufacture of the object from vegetable sources.
Was this thing "invented"?
[Phil] I'd realised what the audience were applauding for, but still did my daft guess anyway. Ah well.
medicinal?
[Tuj] Invented? YES
[Chalky] Medicinal? NO
Is the material used in arts and crafts?
[Raak] Used in arts and crafts? Can be, but not exclusively. *a ripple of applause*
Some sort of fixative or glue?
A model airplane made from balsa wood and epoxy adhesive?
[Chalky] Some sort of fixative or glue? YES *enthusiastic applause*
[irach] model aeroplane etc? NO
Good old-fashioned wood glue?
Wallpaper paste?
[Rosie] Wood glue? NO
[CHalky] Wallpaper paste? NO
An apology I applied too liberal a meaning to "fixative". Having now looked it up, I would have to give my earlier answer to Chalky as "NO, but getting close"
Polyfiller?
[Chalky] Polyfilla? NO
Play Doh?
Size?
I have no idea what size is made from, actually.
[Chalky] Playdoh? NO
[Raak] Size? NO (it's just weak wallpaper paste)
Papier maché?
Is it used in photography?
A plastic laminated card?
[Raak] Papier Maché? NO
[Kim] Photographical? NO
[irach] Plastic laminated card? NO *murmurs of interest from audience, who were starting to nod off*
Anyone for a summary?
What it is: it is manufactured; the vegetable aspect can be wood; the mineral aspect is fluid which is not entirely water and is probably colourless; it is found in the home and the workplace; it is smaller than a toaster; it was invented; it could be associated loosely with fixatives/glues.

What it's not: crisps; anything to do with booze; bigger than a phonebox; a tool; a container; anything to do with weather-forecasting (including barometers); involving sea water; a drink; starting with P; used as a cleaning fluid; a measurement device; linked to vegetal fluid; to do with sport or cooking; alive; something to wear (conventionally); a means of separation; a newspaper; printed paper; involving paper; to do with the arts; medicinal; a fixative or glue; model aeroplane; wood glue; wallpaper paste; polyfilla; playdoh; size; papier maché; plastic laminated card

Sellotape?
some sort of sealant?
[Tuj] Sellotape? YES, dagnammit, YES !!!! *rapturous applause*
[Chalky] A sealant? Well, as you can now see, it can be.
The vegetable is wood, cotton or hemp. That's dissolved in alkali to make viscose, then extruded into an acid bath to make cellophane. Rubber resin is applied to the cellophane to make Sellotape (or Scotch Tape or cellophane tape). My confusion over "fixative" was because I thought it meant something to fix one thing to another. Over to you Tuj, and congrats.
Ooh 'eck
Can I pass this one up? I'm probably not going to be around enough in the coming days - I'm packing & leaving for my second year of uni at present, a little mad (and no guarantee of having Internet at the other end yet...)
Whoever's in next with a good idea can take the baton.
May I ...?

VEGETABLE with traces of MINERAL with a strong ABSTRACT element.
A crucifix? (And if not, connected with religion?)
A vegetarian diet?
[Darren] Crucifix? NO
[ " ]Connected with religion? NO
[Rosie] A vegetarian diet? NO
Edible?
Connected with the arts?
[irach] edible? NO
[Darren] Connected with the arts? It depends on what you mean by the arts; there IS a tenuous connection but it would be more useful to you if I said NO.
Some sort of printed material?
[Raak] Some sort of printed material? YES
The Holy Bible?
Connected to an event?
[irach] Holy Bible? See Darren's first question (and the reply)
[Inkspot] Connected to an event? NO
Does it have pictures?
Is the vegetable wood?
A textbook of some kind?
[Darren] Pictures? Yes - sort of
[Inkspot] Wood? Yes
[Rosie] A textbook? YES
Was it first printed before 1900?
[Inkspot] printed before 1900? NO
The Highway Code?
[Iroule] Highway Code? NO
Connected to science?
Used in schools?
[Inks] Connected to science? Not in the sense I'm guessing you mean.
[Raak] Used in schools? I'll say NO so as not to mislead you, but this object can be used almost anywhere.
Is it a list in any sense?
A cookery book?
A computing book?
Is the author British?
*apologises for absence from game duty this weekend ..*
[Rosie] A list? In any sense? Erm .. no but then again .. SORT OF
[Iroule] Cookery? NO :-)
[Raak] Compooting? NO
[Inks] British Author? Originally, YES
Grammar book?
[irach] Grammar Book? NO
Jane's Fighting Ships?
Was it first printed before 1950?
[Rosie] Jane's? NO
[Iroule] Printed before 1950? YES
Is it revised and updated annually?
[Inks] Revised and updated annually? I don't think it's annual but it's certainly revised and updated regularly. Excellent question :-)
With alphabetically arranged entries?
[Projoy] Alphabetically arranged entries? IN PART
Wisden?
[Raak] Wisden? NO
Roget's thesaurus?
Is there a sporting connection?
[Darren] Roget's? NO
[Iroule] sporting connection? NO
Does it have satirical connotations?
An encyclopedia?
[Darren] satirical connotations? Nah
[Raak] Hen-sigh-klo-pee-dear? No it isn't and I'm surprised that no-one has asked that yet.

By way of a clue, I'm going to give a belated *audience applauds* to a question posed by Irouléguy on Saturday.
To do with transport?
A map?
[Rosie] Transport? Yes
[Raak] A map? No and YES *hurrah*
The A-Z?
AA members' handbook?
[Iroule] AA member's handbook? No, because ...
[Projoy] The answer is THE London A-Z, but that's the one you probably meant - so CHEERS FOR PROJOY :-)
Over to you ..
Okey doke... the next one is ANIMAL.
Living?
Human?
[irach] Living? YES
[Rosie] Human? YES
The Queen?
Helen Mirren?
Male?
Born before 1960?
Projoy?
Him *points*
A member of the Morniverse?
It's not me, is it?
[Raak] HMQ? No
[Ig] HM? No
[irach] Male? YES
[Inkspot] Natally prior to JFK Presidency? YES
[Darren] Me? No (I have, in fact, already been "done" in this game)
[Phil] Darren? No
[Rosie] A member of the Morniverse? No.
[Kim] Not you either, I'm afraid.
Born before 1900?
Fictional?
An entertainer?
A royal?
[Ig] A Pre-Labour Party baby? No.
[UK] Fictional? No.
[Raak] Entertainer? No.
[Darren] A royal? No.
A scientist?
[Raak] A scientist, YES.
Physicist?
[Darren] Physicist? No.
A biologist?
[Raak] A biologist, YES.
Richard Dawkins?
[Darren] YES, that's the fella. Over to you.
Here we go: ABSTRACT/ANIMAL
A fictional character?
Animal instinct?
Fictional? No.
Animal instinct? No.
A grouping of animals?
Grouping of animals? In a manner of speaking.
Are the animals human?
An organisation?
A political party?
White elephant?
A sporting team?
Is the abstract element a generic term?
Animals=human? Yes.
Organisation? Yes.
Political party? Yes. (Applause on that one.)
White elephant? No.
Sporting team? No.
Abstract element=generic term? No.
A British political party?
British political party? Yes. (Again, applause.)
The Labour Party?
[Projoy] Labour? No.
The Monster Raving Loony Party?
Currently in existence?
Monster Raving Loony Party? No.
Currently in existence? Yes.
The Liberal Democrats?
UKIP?
*suspects Projoy has got it, but just in case*
Plaid Cymru?
UKIP? No.
Plaid Cymru? No.
Liberal Democrats? Yes. (Huge applause.) So it's over to Projoy again.
OK... MINERAL
Metal?
[Rosie] Metal, no.
Solid?
[ir] Solid, YES
Does it occur in nature?
[Quen] Occurs in nature, no.
A polymeric material?
Is it unique?
A work of art?
Is it larger than a telephone box?
[irach] A polymer? No (well, I don't think so - that's long chains of molecules, yeah?)
[Quen] Not unique
[Raak] Work of art? No, not really
[Darren] YES, larger than a telephone box.
Glass?
Is it intended for people to go inside?
Is it a building?
[Ink] Not glass.
[Darren] For people to go inside. YES *one or two titters from the audience*
[Chalks] YEEEEES. Certainly a LOT more yes than no, and YES would be the best answer to proceed with.
Does it have moving parts?
A stone pyramid for dead people to go inside?
A public lavatory?
A pig sty?
[Quen] Moving parts? No.
[irach] Stone pyramid for dead people? No. *scattering of applause*
[Rosie] Public lav? No.
[Ink] Pig Sty? No.
A single, specific building?
[INJ] Single, specific, No.
A crematorium?
Public lavatory?
Is it made from stone?
Are they still being widely built?
[ig] Crem? NO. * a stir of interest in the audience *
[irach] Lav? See above.
[Chalky] Stone, YES!
[Ink] Still widely built? No.
A mausoleum?
[Ig] Mausoleum? NO. * audience still interested *
A tumulus?
They're clouds, aren't they?
[INJ] A tumulus? No.
cromlech
Stone sarcophagus?
Is it associated with death?
[Inkspot] Cromlech, no.
[irach] sarcophagus, no
[INJ] Death association, YES.
A crypt?
Although there is a fine distinction between that and a mausoleum...
[CdM] YES - I was thinking specifically of the kind of crypt that sits under a church (and hence is only just classifiable as a building in itself), rather than the more modern type of standalone crypt which is almost synonymous with a vault or mausoleum. * hands baton to CdM, reassumes his clanking chains and retires to his berth in the crypt below, accompanied by organ music*
*returns only to pick up his scythe and pop in a line*
Very well then: VEGETABLE.
Ack, wait, CdM chooses the next item, isn't that right? What a terrible faux pas. Please disregard!
[Quen] Yeah, it's usually the successful guesser who sets the next one... although in this case he hasn't been around for 12 hours. See if he turns up in the next 12 and if not we could go with yours...
Currently alive?
[Q] That's ok. I've set several in the past few weeks (on account of being such a brilliant guesser an' all). Welcome and go right ahead.
Edible?
Quendalon] Welcome - always nice to get new players.
A drink?
To think it took me four years and a box of chocs before my first AMVA ;)
A single specific object?
Thank you all for the kind welcome! This looks like fun. :)

[CdM] No, not currently alive.
[Irouléguy] Not edible.
[Inkspot] Definitely not a drink.
[ImNotJohn] YES, a single specific object.
Made of wood?
[Quendalon] Come to a pilg and play it in person. It's much harder that way!
[Darren] (the judges confer) Partially, if not wholly. What's a pilg?
smaller than a telephone box?
[Quendalon] 'pilg' is a shortened form of 'pilgrimage' which describes any occasion when members of this community actually meet up and well ... erm ... y'know the sort of thing. There are some fine archives of Pilgs in OrangeMC - just look under Local Information in the index, then click on MC, then click on Pilgrims. Also there is a Chat Game called 'To be A Pilgrim' which may give you some insight.
Is it an item of furniture?
Pilgs (short for pilgrimages) are when we all go to a particular place to meet up and play games in person. We do them usually a few times a year, mostly to the Head of Steam pub in London, plus the big one which has, up to this year, taken place in Rugby, where we make a weekend of it. The last one took place earlier this month. (Next year's is likely to be closer to Leicester.) See the game "To Be a Pilgrim" on Orange for more info. And I was simulposted by Chalky.
Ah, okay. Unfortunately a pilg is unlikely as I'm across the water and in poor financial straits besides. Alas!

[Chalky] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.
[Darren] No, not an item of furniture.
smaller than a toaster?
[Chalky] You could probably fit it into a toaster with some effort.
Is it connected with the arts?
[Darren] Not directly, no.
Is this object in Europe?
Does it stand for anything?
Connected with sport?
The judges have rebuked me for providing incorrect information. Contrary to one of my answers to Darren, the subject does not currently contain any wood; moreover, it contains an ABSTRACT component. One judge testily observed that I should not have taken on such a complicated subject for my first time around.

[Darren] The item currently asserted to be the subject is in Europe, yes.
[Projoy] It has powerful symbolic value to many.
[ImNotJohn] NO, not connected with sport.
Connected with religion?
[Darren] YES, connected with religion. (applause)
The Burning Bush?
Is it some sort of acoutrement?
Is the religion Christianity?
[Phil] The Burning Bush? No. [Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of. [Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.
Let's try that again, with line breaks this time!

[Phil] The Burning Bush? No.
[Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of.
[Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.
Worn on the head?
The Turin Shroud?
The Sudarium of Oviedo?
[Projoy] Worn on the head? YES. (more applause)
[Raak] The Shroud of Turin? No.
[Darren] I've never even heard of the Sudarium of Oviedo, so no. :-)
The Spear of Longinus?
Oops, missed the q about worn on the head.
The Pope's hat?
Worn by a living person?
The Sudarium of Oviedo is a piece of cloth said to have been placed on Jesus' face shortly after the crucifixion, and bears stains believed to be the blood of Christ. So now you know.
Crown of Thorns?
[Phil] No wood in it, apparently, "these days".
[Raak] Papal tiara? No.
[Darren] Worn by a living person? No.
[Phil] Crown of Thorns? YES. (the audience cheers)

Over to you, Phil!
[Quen] Ah. Cool. But what did you mean by "the subject does not currently contain any wood" - as in, it doesn't currently exist?
[Quen] I agree with Projoy's point there. If you're saying it doesn't currently exist, then why weren't the other questions answered in the same way? "Is it an accoutrement? Not right now. Is it a single specific object? Not any more." That may seem pedantic, but this is an MC site, after all!

For once I'll ignore pedantry and celebrate my magnificent victory with at least one mug of coffee :)

Next item for your illation is ANIMAL

Living?
[irach] Living? YES
Human?
[Darren] Human? YES
Male?
A politician?
Over 40?
British?
[Projoy] Male? YES
[Rosie] Politician? YES
[Quendalon] Over 40? YES
[Inkspot] British? NO
European?
[Inkspot] European? YES *Audience wonders if 6 Yesses out of 7 is a new record*
An official of the EU?
Berlusconi?
working to get the average down
Nicolas Sarkozy?
Eastern European (i.e. east of the old iron curtain)?
A president?
American?
Putin?
[Raak] EU Official? NO
[CdM] Berlusconi? NO
[Irouléguy] Sarkozy? NO
[Projoy] E. Europe? NO
[Inkspot] A president? NO
[Kim] American? NO
[irach] Putin? NO
*Audience wishes it had kept its collective gob shut*
Member of a centre-left party?
French?
Currently head of state?
Irish?
As distinct from British.
Currently in the news?
A grandee, i.e. semi-retired?
A member of a party currently in government?
Scandinavian?
Can't blame me for asking.
[Inkspot] Centre-left party? NO (carefully)
[Chalky] French? NON
[irach] Head of state? NO (again,carefully)
[Darren] Irish? YES *applause*
[Raak] In the news? In his own country, yes.
[Rosie] Semi-retired? NO
[Irouléguy] In government? YES
[Néa] Scandinavian? NO
Bertie Ahern?
[Projoy] Pádraig Parthalán Ó hEachthairn (aka Patrick Bartholomew "Bertie" Ahern)? YES
I had to tread carefully around the "centre-left" as Fianna Fail was originally a centre-left party, but is no longer. Also, as Taoiseach, he's not a head of state, just a head of government. An Uachtarán (Mary McAleese) is the head of state.
Congrats to Projoy! - actually he was slightly in the news recently, as I saw him on TV on Sunday at the Ryder Cup.

OK. ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE and ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
[Darren] Fictional? Strictly speaking, this is a N/A. But YES will probably be more helpful.
Connected with religion?
[Quen] Connected with religion? NO, not really.
A figure of speech?
Is the animal connection human?
Is the vegetable connection wood?
A fictitious creature?
[Ink] Figure of speech? NO
[INJ} Human animal connection: YES
[Kim] Veg connection wood? NO
[Raak] A fictitious creature? NO.
Something symbolic?
A place?
Connected with the arts?
[Raak] Symbolic? NOT REALLY
[Chalky] A place? NO
[Quen] Connected with the arts? YES
The performing arts?
[INJ] performing arts? NO.
A painting?
[Projoy] A daub? NO.
[Darren] See previous comment to myself.
[Projoy] You must stop doing that, you know. First sign of madness.
[Projoy] Ooh. Look who's talking!
Connected with sculpture?
Is it a style?
[Raak] Sculpture? NO
[Quen] Style? NO
Is it an organisation of some sort?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a period of art history?
[Chalky] Organisation, NO
[Quen] A work of art, YES
[Darren] Period of art history, NO
Simon Patterson's 'The Great Bear'?
[Chalky] Simon and his amazing dancing tube map? NO.
Is it a work of fiction?
[Q] A work of fiction? YES (and it's therefore fictional in the sense its content is fictional, but also non-fictional in the sense that it exists (the opposite, one might say, of Causabon's Key to All Mythologies or the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)
)
Written in the 20th century?
[Darren] C20th? Yes.
Author British?
[irach] Brit author? YES.
A comic strip?
[Ink] Comic strip, NO.
A humourous novel?
Has it won a major literary prize?
A C.S. Lewis work?
[Kim] humorous? NO
[Ink] Prizewinning? NO * a couple of lowbrow titters from the audience*
[irach] Lewis? NO * a couple of erudite titters from the audience*
First published since 1945?
Tolkien?
"Leaf by Niggle"
...?
A poem?
Made into a movie or TV series?
[INJ] published since 1945? NO
[Raak] Tolkien? Leaf by Niggle? NO
[Inkspot] Pome? NO
[irach] Made into a movie/TV series? YES and YES.
[INJ] PS. There is a sort-of case to be made for a YES answer to your question in addition to NO.
A series of books?
Are the vegetable and animal referred to in the title?
Was the author born before 1900?
In the genre of fantasy?
[Rosie] A series? NO *some chuckles from the audience at the thought of it*
[Raak] References in the title to the vegetable? NO. Or the animal? YES.
[Inkspot] Natally prior to first New York Electric Buses? YES
[Quen] Fantasy genre? *appreciative laughter and clapping from the audience* NO.
Science fiction?
Is the title the name of a major character?
SciFi? NO *a more contemplative mood steals over the audience, some smiling wryly but privately at this thought, others casting their eyes down and listening with a neutral expression*
[Darren] Title the name of a major character? *some of the audience look up. Two people bite their bottom lips.* NO.
(To be more useful...) Does the title contain the name of a major character?
First published before 1930?
Is the author male?
Was it written for children?
[Darren] Eponymity? YES
[Quen] Published before 1930, YES
[ir] Male author? YES
[Ink] Written for children? *much laughter from the audience* NO.
[Darren] Er, I meant broad eponymity, rather than narrow, YES.
Pornographic?
[Phil] Pr0nographic? YES *applause*
Lady Chatterley's Lover?
Quendalon must be right. I trust he/she has a pornograph.
Would you want your wife or servants...?
[Quendalon] Indeed, YES!. Lady C and John Thomas it is.
[Projoy] What was the vegetable connection? Is there a notorious scene set in the kitchen garden, involving provocatively-shaped parsnips?
[Raak] Lady Chatterley's Lover is a novel, thus printed on paper.
(well, until recent digital innovations)
Incidentally, I'd never noticed before that the prosecution's "wife or servants" remark, although it certainly was out of touch, is a rhetorical way of activating the jealousy of rich husbands. Don't put ideas in their heads, it suggests, or you too may be cuckolded. Had always assumed before now it was just a general appeal to protect the weak-minded from moral corruption.
[Projoy] I was going to guess LC'sL, but the wry smiles at the Sci-fi question put me off...
[Phil] They were just the more imaginative members of the audience picturing the whole thing done in foil suits on a flying saucer.

For your pleasure: ABSTRACT
All together now... A human construct?
[Projoy] Human construct? YES.
A philosophy?
[Projoy] I think I've seen that website ;-)
To do with science?
[Projoy] You know, there is such a thing as being too imaginative.
[Phil] A philosophy? NO.
[Darren] Related to science? NO.
Connected with emotion?
Related to the arts?
[Darren] Connected with emotion? YES. (laughter from the audience)
[ImNotJohn] Related to the arts? YES. (more laughter)
An emotion?
[Darren] It least it was foil not fur ;-)
[Phil] An emotion? NO.
A type of comedy?
[Raak] A type of comedy? NO.
An action?
[Inkspot] An action? NO.
Connected with positive emotions?
[Projoy] Connected with positive emotions? YES. (another giggle from the audience)
Connected with sex?
Going by the giggles and titters.
Hm. Human construct. Connected with fetishes?
[Darren] Connected with sex? NO. (The audience is giggling because the last three YES answers, while technically correct, are all somewhat misleading. It's not a nice audience.)
[Projoy] Connected with fetishes? In the supernatural (not sexual) sense, YES.
To do with religion?
Is this specific to a particular culture?
Worship of some unusual object or event?
[Raak] To do with religion? NO, not really.
[Irouléguy] Specific to a particular culture? In its original incarnation, YES; in its modern incarnation, NO.
[Rosie] Worship of some unusual object or event? NO.

To clarify things a bit: the ABSTRACT in question experienced a shift in use and meaning over time. The connection with emotion and the supernatural apply only to the original version, not the current one.

(Next time I choose an object for AVMA, it'll be something simple like a tomato.)
Feng Shui?
[Chalky] Feng Shui? NO.
To do with language?
[Projoy] To do with language? YES. (the audience cheers)
To do with magic?
Swearing?
[Projoy] To do with magic? Originally, sometimes. Now, no.
[Rosie] Swearing? No.
A particular form of words?
Any medical connection?
[Projoy] Words? NO. [Rosie] Medical connection? NO.
Anything to do with casting out devils?
[Rosie] Casting out devils? NO.

I suspect that I have put people on the wrong track, so if anyone would like a hint, let me know.
Something ceremonial?
Far too early for a hint, yet.
Is the culture that this was originally specific to an Asian one?
[Darren] Ceremonial? NO.
[Irouléguy] From an Asian culture? NO.
An inscription?
[Rosie] Inscription? Sometimes, though not so often in the modern day.
To do with death?
An obituary?
An epitaph?
[Darren] To do with death? NO.
[ImNotJohn] An obituary? NO.
[Rosie] An epitaph? NO.
To do with war or the military?
scepticism?
[Quendalon] Rather than a hint - please can you do a summary. It may help us realign ourselves :-)
[Irouléguy] To do with war or the military? NO.
[Chalky] Skepticism? NO.
And now to summarize! I’ll also correct a couple of my own answers where I think I may have misread or misinterpreted your questions. So:

This abstract is a human construct. It was once specific to a particular culture, though not an Asian culture. It has to do with language, but it is not a particular form of words.

It is not an emotion, a philosophy, a type of comedy, an action, an epitaph or obituary, or Feng Shui.

It is not inherently connected to science, to swearing, to sex, to religion, to the worship of some unusual object or event, to medicine, to casting out devils, to death, to war or the military, or to skepticism.

Notably, the subject has experienced a shift in use over time. Originally, it had a connection with positive emotion, was often inscribed (in the sense of being etched into a solid surface), and was sometimes connected with magic. These all still apply when the subject is put to its original use. In its modern use, it has no connection with positive emotion or magic, and is still inscribed in the sense of being written down, though rarely (if ever) in the sense of being etched into a solid surface.
Is it writing?
A swastika?
Wait, not Asian. Nevermind.
Is it a symbol of some kind?
Is it Aboriginal?
[Darren] We've already established that it is something that is written; if you're asking if the subject is the overall concept of 'writing', then NO.
[Projoy] Is it a symbol of some kind? YES. (cheers from the audience)
[Dazed5] Is it Aboriginal... assuming you're talking about Australian aborigines here, then NO.
Might I find it on my keyboard somewhere?
A Greek letter?
[Projoy] I can't speak for your keyboard, but it's not on mine.
[Rosie] A Greek letter? NO.
Is it a rune?
Might I find it on the ASCII character map for a regular Western font?
Does it have a Unicode definition?
A trademark?
A hieroglyph ?
[Kim] Is it a rune? YES.
[Projoy] On the ASCII character map for a regular Western font? Uncertain, but I've checked several common fonts and haven't been able to find it.
[Raak] Does it have a Unicode definition? YES.
[Chalky] A trademark? NO.
[Inkspot] A hieroglyph? NO.
The Star of David?
[Raak] Star of David? NO.
Is it any sort of star shape?
[Raak] Not a star shape, no.
Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape (ie. any loops or closed polygonal components)?
[Darren] Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape? YES.
Triangle?
[irach] Is it a triangle? NO.
An ankh?
A cross of any sort?
Does it turn up in the regular Wingdings font?
Did it originate in the middle east?
[ImNotJohn] An ankh? NO.
[Raak] A cross of some sort? NO.
[Projoy] In Wingdings? I don't believe so.
[Inkspot] Did it originate in the Middle East? NO.

(You guys are drifting off the track; I suspect you're misreading one of the recent answers. Would you like me to provide clarification?)
From the Futhark?
Runic letter Sowilo?
[Projoy] Originally from the Futhark? Elder Futhark, YES. Younger Futhark, NO.
[Inkspot] Sowilo? NO.
(which I think is called odal or othalan)
<>< ?
(oooops)
From the Freyr/Freyja's Aett?
As opposed to the Heimdall's Aett or Tyr's Aett
[CdM] Odal/Othalan? NO.
[Inkspot] Freyr/Freyja's Aett? YES.
Thorn?
[Raak] Thorn? NO.
Kenaz (the leading light)?
Wunjo?
[irach] Kenaz? NO.
[Inkspot] Wunjo/Wynn? YES. (cheers from the crowd)

Over to you, Inkspot...
... and I haven't the foggiest what all that was about. :) heyho
Yes, that was painfully obscure. My apologies! All I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time. :-p
[Inkspot] If I were you, I'd select a steam engine.
*is an unapologetic obscurist*
from the home of Steam
A win there with a little help from others, and learnt a little about runes in the process.

So a Abstract with Animal and Vegetable connections

Anything to do with cookery?
Is the animal connection human?
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe?
[Raak]- no
[Chalky] - yes
[Kim] - no
out of practice
[Raak] - Anything to do with cookery? NO
[Chalky] - Is the animal connection human?YES
[Kim] - The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe? NO
To do with the arts?
just not a morning person
There is a Mineral connection so...
The clue should have read Abstract with Animal, Mineral and Vegetable connections

ImNotJohn - To do with the arts? NO
To do with sports?
[Raak] - To do with sports? NO
Is the animal connection a fictional human or humans?
[Irouléguy] - Is the animal connection a fictional human?YES ripple of applause from the audience
Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue?
[Phil] - Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue? YES A whispering murmur from the audience
Is the fictional aspect from a novel?
[Irouléguy] Is the fictional aspect from a novel? YES several members of the audience about to go to the bar for a shandy return to their seats
Was the novel written more recently than 1900?
Written since 1950?
Written by a British writer?
Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?
[Quendalon] - Was the novel written more recently than 1900? YES
[Projoy] - Written since 1950? YES
[ImNotJohn] - Written by a British writer?NO
[Chalky] - Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?
NO and YES to in the title and paper as the vegetable YES (had not considered the ink when setting the clue but yes it is printed with ink but was not part of the clue)
Written since 1980?
[Inkspot] Just to clarify: the VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title?
[Quendalon] Written since 1980? Yes and NO wry smiles litter the audience

clarification:VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title? YES
Is this a series of stories?
[Chalky] Is this a series of stories? YES loud applause from the audience
Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?
Just managed to track down the one-volume compendium - well pleased.
[Irouléguy]Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?NO an exited Oooooooooooh from the audience
Is the mineral stone?
[Raak]Is the mineral stone? NO
Is the mineral metal?
[Chalky]Is the mineral metal? YES cheers from the audience
Is the mineral gold?
Lord of the Rings?
The Book of Lost Tales?
Fits the 1980 thing better.
[Kim] Is the mineral gold?No
[Raak] Lord of the Rings?No
[Raak ] The Book of Lost Tales?No
the audience sit back back into their seats
Is it science fiction/fantasy?
[Raak] Is it science fiction/fantasy?YES the bell rings in the bar the audience quickly pile back into their seats
Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title?
[Quendalon]Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title? YES some argy-bargy in the audience as some laughing pedants are calling out NO
Just one human?
[Projoy] Just one human? YES the audience rise from their slumber
Is it a trilogy?
[Quendalon] Is it a trilogy? NO
Has it been made into a film?
Harry Harrison's 'Stainless steel rat' series?
Inspired by the answer to Quendalon's penultimate question.
[Raak] Has it been made into a film?NO

Irouléguy raucous cheers and foot stomping from the audience YES It is the Stainless Steel Rat from the series written by Harry Harrison. Over to you.
A series I've always meant to look at, and never got round to. Good game, good game! Our next is ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
Is the "animal" human?
Raak] Fictional? No
Quendalon] Is the "animal" human? Yes
Is this some class of people?
Connected with emotion?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
One day I'm going to be right
A lion's share?
Raak] Is this some class of people? No
Darren] Connected with emotion? Connected with, no; provoking, possibly...
ImNotJohn] Anarcho-syndicalism? There's a great day a-comin' - but not today
irach] A lion's share? See the answer to Quendalon
An event?
Is there more than one of it?
(Incidentally, feel free to answer "meaningless" to that if such an answer would be.)
Is the "animal" a specific human?
Does this involve an association of people?
Is it an office that a person can hold?
Inkspot] An event? *applause YES
Darren] Is there more than one of it? Yes, though there can only be one at a time.
Quendalon] Is the "animal" a specific human? Yes, but not necessarily the same one.
Rosie] Does this involve an association of people? *more applause* An association of people is a necessary but not sufficent condition for this.
Raak] Is it an office that a person can hold? *some quickly stifled giggles* No.
A ceremonial event?
A sporting event?
Is it connected to a date on the calender?
Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated?
Raak] A ceremonial event? No
Chalky] A sporting event? No
Inkspot] Is it connected to a date on the calender? No
Darren] Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated? Yes
Does it involve some common interest of the participants?
Raak] Does it involve some common interest of the participants? Sorry, I simmed. I'm going to answer 'no', as that's the most useful answer, I think.
A party?
Rosie] A party? No (neither sense)
Is it planned in advance?
A birth?
A birthday?
Darren] Is it planned in advance? Er...yes and no
ImNotJohn] A birth? No
Quendalon - A birthday? No
Connected with employment?
Connected with money?
Quendalon] Connected with employment? No
Darren] Connected with money? No
A school reunion?
Raak] A school reunion? No
Is it astronomical?
Inkspot] Is it astronomical? Startlingly, no
To do with the Internet?
Have most people experienced this at some point?
Raak] To do with the Internet? *applause* In practice, yes (though this could in theory happen offline as well).
Darren] Have most people experienced this at some point? No
A chatroom?
Associated with a particular website?
Rosie] A chatroom? No
Darren] Associated with a particular website? My experience of it is on one particular website, but I don't know if it originated there
Associated with a particular culture(s)?
To do with playing games on the Internet?
To do with MC websites?
A blind date?
Quendalon] Associated with a particular culture(s)? Broadly, yes
Raak - To do with playing games on the Internet? *applause YES
Darren - To do with MC websites? *louder applause, whistling and cheers* YES
Chalky - A blind date? No
mc5?
AVMA?
The game of Mornington Crescent?
I hope this doesn't blow a fuse, so to speak.
Raak - mc5? *stamping of feet, cries of 'bravo'* Yes
Darren] AVMA? *stunned silence from the audience, distracted by a replay of Paul Robinson's error on the giant screens above the stage* YES!
Rosie] The game of Mornington Crescent? *deflated sighs* No
The Morniverse?
Assuming that none of the preceding was the winning move.
Raak] The Morniverse? No.

Sorry, I was reading the preceding moves as prefaced by 'To do with...'. To clarify the over-enthusiastic audience response, the answer is to do with this site, specifically AVMA (it doesn't occur in any other current game on this site), though it almost certainly occurs on other websites, and could in theory occur in the realiverse.
An audience?
Raak] An audience? No
A correct guess?
Darren] A correct guess? *the audience holds its breath* Almost - the answer is a particular sort of correct guess.
A correct guess on the first move?
The answer to this question?
In danger of disappearing up its own logical fundament.
Darren - A correct guess on the first move? *older members of the audience are turning purple waiting to exhale* No
ImnotJohn - The answer to this question? It could be
An accidental correct guess?
Darren - An accidental correct guess? It could be
Hint - the initials have another, very different, meaning elsewhere in the Morniverse.
The winning move?
Rosie - The winning move? Yes, but... Not every winning move is one of these.
A lurker's victory?
*the audience exhales noisily, too breathless to cheer* YES - a lurker's victory it is (it seemed like a good idea when I set it). Darren, the baton's all yours.
This particular round is...
MINERAL
Begins with P?
[Irouléguy] Nice one. I did consider setting "the next answer" when I actually got a go, but chickened out ;)
[Tuj] Begins with P? One of the words does.
Is there just one of these?
[Raak] Just one of these? No.
Are there 2 words on the card?
[Tuj] Two words on the card? Indeed.
Does it occur in nature?
[Quendalon] Does it occur in nature? No.
Does it involve electricity?
Does it have any moving parts?
Is the mineral metal?
A frisbee?
Is it a man made mass produced item?
[Rosie] Does it involve electricity? Yes.
[Quendalon] Does it have any moving parts? Yes. (misleading?)
[ImNotJohn] Is the mineral metal? Not entirely.
[Irouléguy] No.
[Inkspot] Is it a man made mass produced item? Yes.
is the non-metal part a liquid?
[ImNotJohn] Is the non-metal part a liquid? No.
A buzzer?
Is the first of the words on the card "A"?
A pylon?
[Rosie] Buzzer? No.
[Raak] Is the first of the words "A"? No.
[Projoy] Pylon? No.
Is entertainment its primary purpose?
[Quendalon] Primary purpose=entertainment? No.
Is it connected with writing?
[Raak] Connected with writing? No.
Is it connected with travel?
Was it invented in the last hundred years?
[Quendalon] Is it connected with travel? Yes!
[Tuj] Was it invented in the last hundred years? Yes!
Parking meter?
[Quendalon] Parking meter? No.
To do with flying?
[Raak] To do with flying? No.
Does one take this on one's travels?
Is it a component of a larger object?
Was it invented before 1960?
To do with computers?
[Rosie] Does one take this on one's travels? Certain travels, yes.
[Quendalon] Is it a component of a larger object? No.
[Inkspot]Was it invented before 1960? No.
[Tuj] To do with computers? Well... yes, but, in a more meaningful sense, no.
Mobile phone?
[Irouléguy] Mobile phone? No.
Invented in the last decade?
[Tuj] Invented in the last decade? Probably not. (Sorry to be imprecise on that one, but although they've only become common recently I wouldn't be surprised if they'd existed in, say, the 1980s.)
Is it a container?
[Inkspot] Is it a container? No.
Is one of the words "portable"?
[Quendalon] Is one of the words "portable"? No.
Is the purpose of this device entertainment?
GPS Navigation system?
Does it involve superconductivity?
[Rosie] Purpose=entertainment? No. (See Quendalon's question earlier.)
[irach] GPS? No.
[Quendalon] Does it involve superconductivity? No.
An electronic device?
[Raak] Electronic device? Yes.
A digital camera?
A data projector?
[Rosie] Digital camera? No.
[Raak] Data projector? No.
A communication device?
Is it a conduit of some sort?
One of those fancy car keys?
Sorry about the imprecision - I drive a banger.
Is it required for travelling abroad?
A mobile phone?
[Raak] A communication device? No.
[Quendalon] A conduit of some sort? No. (Well, unless you meant in a very abstracted sense!)
[Rosie] Fancy car keys? No.
[Inkspot] Required for travelling abroad? No.
[Tuj] Mobile phone? No. (See Irouléguy's question earlier.)
Connected with road travel specifically?
[INJ] Connected with road travel specifically? No.
Is it something a traverrler would carry?
Biometric Passport?
A credit card?
[Inkspot] Is it something a traverrler would carry? Depends what a "traverrler" is.
[ImNotJohn] Biometric Passport? No.
[Rosie] Credit card? No.
Is it connected to hygiene?
Packing bags till the next game.
A "traverrler" is someone that ends up at the wrong destination.
[Quendalon] Is it connected to hygiene? No.
[Inkspot] I wasn't trying to be pedantic - I thought it might be a word I didn't know.
Is it connected to vehicles?
[Quendalon] Is it connected to vehicles? Definitely not.
A clock of some sort?
Connected with computer software?
[Raak] A clock of some sort? Part of it is, usually.
[Quendalon] Connected with computer software? Only in the sense that it contains some.
Time for a recap, methinks.
What we know so far:

It contains two words. One begins with P. Neither word is simply "a," or "portable."

It's a man-made mass produced electronic device, and there is more than one of it. It does not occur in nature. It has parts which move. Its construction involves metal (among other things), but no liquids. It is not a component of a larger object. It does not involve superconductivity. It was invented (as a whole item) some time after 1980, although the basic principles it uses were known long before that (that's a new hint). It usually includes a clock of some sort, and would contain a computer program within it.

It is not primarily for entertainment, nor is it connected with writing. It's nothing to do with hygiene.

It is connected with travel, but not flying or vehicles. You would take it on certain travels. It is not required for travelling abroad, nor is it specific to road travel.

It is not a frisbee, a buzzer, a pylon, a parking meter, a mobile phone, a container, a GPS navigation system, a digital camera, a data projector, a conduit, fancy car keys, a biometric passport, or a credit card.

Does the "P" stand for "personal"?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A pedometer?
[Rosie] "P" stands for "personal"? No.
[Rosie] Smaller than a toaster? Yes.
[Raak] A pedometer? Yes!!!! (But that's not all. You've only got one of the words on the card. I'm looking for a pedometer with an extra feature.)
The second answer there was directed at Projoy, not Rosie. Sorry.
A digital pedometer?
A pedometer mounted in a shoe?
[Raak 1] Digital pedometer? Well, it is, but that's not the special feature I'm after.
[Raak 2] Mounted in a shoe? No.
A talking pedometer?
[Raak] Talking pedometer? YES!!!
So, it's over to Raak for the next round!
I never knew there were such things.

The next is MINERAL or VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it mass-produced?
A stairway to heaven?
Begins with P?
[Q] Mass-produced? No.
[I] Not a stairway to heaven.
[T] Does not begin with P.
Min or Veg = metal or wood?
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[R] Not metal/wood.
[C] Not associated with a particular country or culture.
Is it a liquid?
Is the mineral water?
[I, I] Not liquid, not water.
Does it have religious significance?
Does it have religious significance?
(Sorry, putting it in the right hole.)
[D] No religious significance.
(Ignore the fundamentalist crank in the audience raving to the contrary.)
Is it an item of clothing?
[C] Not clothing.
Is it an implement of some kind?
[K] Not an implement.
Any moving parts?
[I] No moving parts.
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[Q] Not bigger than a breadbox.
Is it associated with a time of the year?
[I] Not associated with a time of the year.
Is it edible?
[C] Not edible.
Clarifying a previous answer re metal/wood: never any metal, possibly some wood.
Is the possible mineral stone?
[I] Not stone.
A gas/plasma?
We've eliminated metal, liquid, stone - what else is there.....
[I] Not gas or plasma.
There are plenty of other forms of mineral.
Does this occur naturally?
[I] Does not occur naturally.
ship in a bottle?
[j] Not a ship in a bottle.

Ready for a clue yet?

Plastic?
[R] Yes!
Is there only one of these?
(I assume mineral/vegetable because plastic can be made from either of these)
[I] There are many.
Actually, I was thinking of plastics as made primarily from petrochemicals (i.e. mineral), although having checked I see that vegetable substances are still used..
Is it flexible?
Odd that it's plastic but is not mass produced...
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