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AVMA Take 2
help
Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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[Dandalf] To do with cinema - No
A poet, then?
[Rosie] A poet - YES
Siegfried Sassoon?
T.S. Elliot?
Rabbie Burns?
Ted Hughes
[CdM]Siegfried Sassoon - No
[irach] T.S. Elliot - No
[Chalky] Rabbie Burns - No
[Phil]Ted Hughes - No
Philip Larkin?
Wilfred Owen?
English?
[Rosie]Philip Larkin - No
[CdM] Wilfred Owen - YES and Yes it was he, and so the chair is yours.
An Easy One
I think the audience was being a little harsh not to give my earlier Sassoon guess at least a smattering of applause. Anyway, this is ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Is it a fictional human?
Fictional human? No.
Is the animal connection human?
Animal connection human? Yes.
A mythical human?
Mythical human? No. *some wry chuckling in the audience*
Is this a place where humans go/gather together?
tut tut - ignore the 'together' - that's tautology, I believe.
Place where humans go? No, although it could be a cause of humans gathering together.
Is it an anniversary?
Is it your birthday?
:-)
Is it conected to religion?
Is it a specific date?
Is it an emotion?
An election?
Possibly setting a new record...
The answer is indeed, My Birthday. You can fill in the other answers for yourselves. *hands baton (lit at one end) to Chalky*
Oh, and sorry I didn't answer these sooner, but I was busy drinking margaritas.
.. and many happy returns, dear CdM :-)

OK - in the hot seat again. This time I'll go for:

V E G E T A B L E with M I N E R A L and a smidgin of A B S T R A C T
Is the vegetable wood?
Happy birthday!
A work of art?
Is it a unique item?
very good questions ...
[Iroule] Wood? YES
[Raak] Work of art? Sort of - YES
[GL] Unique? Yes, one could say that.
[Iroule] It's CdM's birthday today - mine is next week :-)
Seen in a museum?
Is the mineral metal?
[irach] Seen in a museum? No
[Dandalf] Metal? A small part is metal
Another crucifix?
[Raak] Another crucifix? No
Larger than a telephone box?
Any religious significance?
A decoration of some sort?
Smaller than a telephone box?
A wooden telephone box?
[Dandalf] Larger than a telephone box? No
[INJ] Religious significance? No
[Rosie] Decoration? Can be decorative - but not primary purpose
[GL] see above
[Raak] wooden TB? No
Is it in Britain?
A door?
[Rosie] In Britain? Yes
[Dandalf] A door? No - but you are moving towards the right area
Is it in a town/city?
A window box?
[Rosie] Town/City? Yes
[Raak] Window Box? No
City?
Is it normally found indoors?
Is it hand carved?
[GL] This one is in a city, yes.
[Phil] Indoors? No
[Inks] Hand-carved? Nothing so exotic.
The fact that Phil has joined the game is a BIG clue .
A pub sign?
[CdM] Pub Sign? YES - that's close enough for a *huge roar of applause from the audience*
Now guess which pub.
The Three Crowns?
[Inks] Not the Three Crowns
Elephant and Castle?
Is there an animal connection in the sign?
Is the pub in Ratby?
The Red Lion?
The Bull's Head?
The Nag's Head?
[Rosie] Elephant & Castle? No
[Inkspot] Animal connection? No
[Raak] Ratby? No
[GL] The Red Lion? No
[Phil] The Bull's Head? No
[all] The Nag's Head? No
Is this just one particular pub?
Head of Steam?
The Hogg's Head?
The words "Straws" and "Clutching" spring to mind
The Clutching Straws?
[Rosie] One particular pub? I'd already replied to GL earlier that it's unique - so Yes.
[CdM] Head of Steam? No
[GL] The Hogg's Head? No
[Raak] The Clutching Straws? No :-)

I'm not sure how many pub names there are in the Cities and Towns of the UK, but yu can be assured that I don't expect you to start guessing them all. C'mon - there HAS to be a hook ....
The Fisherman's Arms?
You said there had to be a hook...
Is this a single famous pub (like The Prospect of Whitby)?
Does the name relate to an MC player?
[GL] The Fisherman's Arms? No
[INJ] Single famous pub? I suppose you could call it famous [in its area] *murmurs of approval from the audience for INJ's line of questioning*
[CdM] Does the name relate to an MC player? No
Is it also the name of an underground station?
Is it in London?
One of the pubs that claims to be the oldest in Britain?
If I don't live in the area would I still have heard of it?
Bolsover Hall?
The Euston Flyer?
The Swiss Cottage?
[INJ] Underground station? No
[CdM] London? No
[INJ] Oldest in Britain? No
[GL] Heard of it? Probably not - but I have :-)
[INJ] Bolsover Hall? No
[Iroule] Euston Flyer? No
[PJ] Swiss Cottage? No
Is it your local?
Is it in Devon?
Is it in Cornwall?
[INJ] My local? Yes it is, as it happens, but I wouldn't expect you to know it because of that! It is well-known around these parts for another reason
[Inks] Devon/Cornwall? No
Is it in Dorset?
Working my around the country
Is it in Wiltshire?
Four down 35 or so to go
[Inks] In Wiltshire - where I live.

In fact to speed things up a bit, it's in Salisbury.
The Haunch of Venison?
(I googled for famous pubs in Salisbury)
The Anchor and Hope?
Loking for pubs with no animal connection
[GL] The Haunch of Venison? good guess - but not the right place.
[Inks] Anchor & Hope? No.

Tip: google for pubs that have brewed their own beer and then become quite famous for doing so ...
Surely not The Wyndham Arms - of Summer Lightning fame?
The Moonraker?
[Phil] The Wyndham Arms? Oh YESYESYES. Just round the corner from me. The answer on the card is 'The Sign Outside The Wyndham Arms' so I shall gladly hand over the chair to you, landlord :-)
[Chalky] I am so jealous, locationwise.
OK - well, I've not done one of these before, but I'm at my desk off and on all day (and night), so here goes.

ANIMAL


Human?
[Projoy] Human? Yes
Still alive?
Female?
A single individual?
[GL] Alive? Yes
[all] Female? No
[CdM] Single individual? Yes
British?
[INJ] British? Yes
Is this person in the news on a regular basis?
Is he under 50?
Associated with the arts/culture?
Is he under 30?
Is he famously involved with sport?
A musician?
Is he a regular in the Morniverse?
[Chalky] Hmmm...not in the news as such
[GL] Under 50? Yes
[INJ] Arts/culture? Yes
murmur from audience
[Projoy] <30 ? No
[all] sport? not any more mixture of confused "huh?" and knowledgeable "ah" from audience
[Inkspot] Musician? Yes another murmur
[Irguy] Morniverse? No
Ian Broudie?
[Projoy] Broudie? No
Nigel Kennedy?
[GL] Kennedy? No
Over 40?
Pop music or classical?
[Projoy] >40? Yes
[Dandalf] Pop or classical? Yes

Hint: Music is not how he makes his living.

Is he a politician?
[Raak] Politician? No
Does he make his living as a writer?
Is he a broadcaster?
Yes Pop, Yes Classical or Yes both?
[CdM] Writer? Sometimes
[Rosie] Broadcaster? Hmmm...is probably best known for TV work, if that's what you mean
[Dandalf] pop/classical? Probably a bit of both, but it's not really important.
Is he a celebrity cook/chef?
[Chalky] Cook/Chef? No

[Clarification for Rosie] Broadcaster - if a broadcaster is someone like David Dimbleby, Jeremy Paxman, David Frost, then the answer is No

An actor?
[GL] Actor? Yes - (applause and sighs of relief from audience)
Primarily known as a film actor?
FORGET THAT
Just seen the 'best known for TV work' - So
Primarily known for comedy?
Well known for his sci-fi work?
Hugh Laurie?
Vinnie Jones?
David Tenant?
[INJ] Comedy? Yes
[GL] SF? No
[Rosie] Hugh Laurie? YES!
[Projoy and all] VJ/DT? See above :-)

Congrats, Rosie, we await your teaser with baited breath. Meanwhile, I'd be curious to know how many people knew what Hugh Laurie's sporting background is?

Rowlocks
Well, I certainly didn't. To save other people having to look it up, HL rowed for Cambridge in the 1980 boat race.
out of tune
I didn't realise he was a musician either. Talented chap.
[mutter, fader] Hello!
I've got one if Rosie's busy.
Although it's not 1am yet, so he'll probably be on shortly :)
And here he is . . . .
(Chalky) Not a bad jazz pianist, Mr L.
And the next object is . . . ABSTRACT
A wild guess?
Climate change?
Sociolinguistics?
Gravity?
A human construct?
Or perhaps a natural phenomenon?
String theory?
Light?
(Irg) A wild guess? - Have another one.:-)
(Phil) Climate change? - No (It's snowing here in bleak upland Surrey)
(Néa) Sociolinguistics? - No
(GL) Gravity? - No
(INJ) A human construct? - No
(Chalky) A natural phenomenon? - Yes *a slight ripple of applause*
(Raak) String theory? - No, or brass either. :-)
(all) Light? - No, but *considerable applause*
A rainbow?
Relativity
Cataracts?
Weather-related?
It's been snowing here in bleak upland Farringdon too
Dark?
Does the answer on the card involve "light"?
sunlight?
(Raak) - Not a rainbow
(Projoy) - Not relativity
(Kim) - Not cataracts
(Irouléguy) Weather-related? - Can be, but no more than that
(Gusset Login) Dark? - No
(Tuj) No, but *a little applause* nevertheless
(all) No, but again *some applause*
Moonbeams?
The vernal equinox?
An Eclipse?
The dawn chorus?
Sunrise?
(Raak) Moonbeams? - No, nor polka dots, alas
(INJ) Vernal Equinox - No
(GL) Dawn chorus - No
(all) Sunrise? - No
Sundogs?
It's some bloody weather thing, isn't it? ;-)
Is the light natural (as opposed to human-generated)?
Aurora ?
Optimism?
(Raak) Sundogs? - No, not page 3 girls
(Projoy) Some weather thing? - No, that would be a bit corny. What do you take me for, sir?
(Irouléguy) Could be either ("Light" is not on the card though some would have put it there)
(irach) Not the Aurora
(Chalky) Optimism? - Regrettably yours is misplaced this time.
I'm possibly being a little particular, but everybody has heard of this and knows what it is.
Lengthening Evenings?
Scratch that, how about "starshine"?
Phosphorescence?
Is it anything to do with the passage of time?
(Projoy) Starshine? - No (or lengthening evenings)
(Raak) Phosphorescence - No, but *a slight murmur of appreciation*
(Chalky) The passage of time - No
Radiation?
photosynthesis?
A mirage?
(GL) Radiation - Yes. - Now, which sort?
(Projoy) Photosynthesis? - No
(Irouléguy) A mirage - No.
Electromagnetic Radiation?
infra-red?
Come to think of it, we seldom refer to infra-red light, so perhaps ultra-violet instead?
Step forth, the immaculately-tanned Projoy! ULTRAVIOLET it is. Ironically there's an article about the current tanning fad in today's Grauniad.
Hmmm...
This one might be very easy indeed or a bit of a bastard. It's NOT ANIMAL, VEGETABLE NOR MINERAL and although it is ABSTRACT in one way it's also a real thing.
Gravity?
A tan?
[Raak] gravity, no
[Rosie] a tan, no
That thing called love?
Fiction?
The speed of light?
[all] Luurrve, nope
[GL] Fiction, nope
[Ig] the speed of light, nope
Atmosphere?
Is it just one thing?
[GL] Atmos, no. [Ig] One thing, yes.
Sexual orientation?
How well you know me, dear Raak, but no, it's not that.
Is it s human construct?
Is it q human construct?
[Kim, all] It is neither, nor is it, for the sake of brevity a human construct, or even an human construct.
Can it be seen?
Is it weather related?
Electricity?
Is it a form of sound?
Is it any form of natural disaster?
[Raak] Can it be seen? No
[GL] Weather related... not really, only in the most unhelpful tangential way
[all] Electricity - no
[Raak] Form of sound - no
[Rosie] Natural disaster - debatable, but you could say yes

(Incidentally there have been a couple of answers so far where I perhaps should have used the studio audience, but thought it would make it much too easy. I'll bring them back if it seems like it's too hard)
Global warming?
[Raak] Global warming - Nope.
[Raak] I should perhaps add that a flat "no" to "Can it be seen?" is perhaps a teeny bit misleading. There are some rather specialised senses in which it can be seen, although most people would say that it can't.
Actually, after further thought, I should think even the specialists, when pressed, would say that it can't be seen.
An epidemic?
A soul?
[Rosie] Not an epidemic
[Phil] Not a soul (and my I be damned for all eternity if I ever claim without caveat that such a thing exists!)
A past event?
[Ig] Past event, yes and no. :)
The Big Bang?
[CdM] The Big Bang, no. *murmurs of interest in the audience, who are now back from their tea break*
The Begining?
[all] The beginning, nope.
Any connection with astronomy or cosmology?
The soul? It's a metaphor. Your eternal damnation is on hold :-)
Evolution?
[Rosie] connected with astronomy/cosmology, YES *applause*
[Ig] Evolution, no.
An orbit?
[Raak] An orbit, no. *sound of several members of audience leaning forward at the same time*
Black Hole?
The Universe?
[Phil] Black Hole, YES
[Kim] The Universe? Only the bent parts of it :)
Yikes - two wins now! I think it was the "can it be seen" explanation that triggered the realisation. Anyway, here goes for a new one.

Mineral - with an animal reference

Is it bigger than a toaster?
Cat's-eye (Chrysoberyl)?
A cat-flap?
Pot-shot from 50 yds hoping the goalie's asleep.
[Projoy] Bigger than toaster, Yes
[irach] Chrysoberyl, no
[Rosie] Cat-flap, no
Is it bigger than a tank? A WW2 one, that is.
Is it metal?
A fish-eye lens?
Is there just one of it?
[Projoy] Bigger than tank, yes
[GL] metal, no
[Kim] fish-eye lens, no
[Raak] Just one, yes
The Dog Star?
The Horsehead Nebula?
[Projoy] Dog star, no
[GL] Horsehead nebula, no
Is this a sea or ocean?
[Chalky] Sea or ocean, no
A sculpture?
[Chalky] Sculpture, no
Man-made?
[Néa] Man-made, no
A geographical feature?
Pluto?
An astronomical feature?
[Raak] Geog. feature, yes - smallish ripple of applause from audience
[Kim] Pluto, no
[GL] Astronomical, no
A mountain?
Is the animal connection figurative, eg The Old Man of Hoy?
The Cerne Abbas Giant?
Is the animal reference human?
[Projoy] mountain, no - applause from audience
[Rosie] Figurative animal connection, yes - considerable applause from audience
[GL] Cerne Abbas Giant, no
[irach] human reference, yes
Is it in Britain?
[GL] in Britain, yes
Is the human reference a name?
[CdM] Name, yes - applause
The Old Man of Hoy?
Forget that, not really a person's name. How about Arthur's Seat?
[Raak] Hoy, no
[Raak - take 2] YES Didn't think that would go so fast.
V. bsy atm so may only lk in cpl times a day.
M I N E R A L with V E G E T A B L E connections
Bonsai Mountain?
[GL] Molehill? No.
Natural feature?
You nicked my "intellectual property", y' bastard. You'll be hearing from Messrs. Sue, Grabbit and Runne. :-)
[Rosie] Not natural.
A mostly metallic object?
[Rosie] Mostly metallic? Tricky. By weight, yes, by volume, no.
Is it one single object?
[I] Single object? No (in the sense that there are many of these).
Can this be consumed?
[Chalky] Cannot be consumed.
It is bigger than a 'phone box?
Is the vegetable part alive?
[Kim] Not bigger than a phone box.
[GL] Not alive.
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the metallic part a sort of framework?
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[I] (slight murmurings from the audience) No.
[R] No.
[GL] Usually.
Is the vegatable paper?
[Kim] Yes! applause
Is it something to do with money?
[I] Nothing to do with money.
Is it a decoration?
[Rosie] Not a decoration.
A filing cabinet (full)?
An Underground Map?
[Dandalf] No.
[Phil] No, not much metal in one of those.
I was thinking of the sort on display on a tube station, but was wrong anyway.
Is the paper for writing on?
[Rosie] (a ripple of interest) Er, yes and no. (the audience appreciates the questionmaster's Solomonic wisdom)
Is the paper for printing on?
[Kim] Er, yes and no. (the audience responds in the same way)
Is the mineral the bit that does the printing/writing?
Is the paper actually part of the object on the card or is it used in connection with the object?
[Dandalf] In connection with. Vegetable connections, remember.
Please may I have a reply to my last question?
A pen?
A fax machine?
[Chalky] No.
[Chalky] Yes.
[GL] no.
[R] No (but the audience have woken up again).
Toner?
Photocopier?
[GL] No.
[all] No. (the audience eagerly anticipate the final chase)
Laser Printer?
Typewriter?
[GL] No.
[Dandalf] No.
A Printing Press?
[Phil] No.
Stereotype?
A scanner?
[Projoy] No.
[Rosie] No.
Polaroid camera?
Invisible Ink?
Shurely not a Gestetner?
A dot-matrix printer?
Mimeograph?
(although in that case, Rosie already got it. All hail Corflu!)
A shredder?
[all] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie] No.
[I] No.
[Néa] No.
[Phil] YES. A paper shredder.
Well, I seem to be getting rather fluky at these lately. OK, I'll try and think up one that could have no ambiguous answers - or could it?

Vegetable

Edible, in the normal sense?
Alive?
[Rosie] Edible? Yes
[GL] Alive? No
Processed?
Is it normally eaten raw?
Bigger than a breadboard?
A carrot?
A nut?
A bread roll?
[Dandalf] Processed? Yes
[Kim] Raw? No
[GL] >Breadboard? No
[Néa] Carrot? No
[Inkspot] Nut? No
[all] Bread Roll? A careful No - enthusiastic applause
Is bread involved in some way?
A loaf of bread?
A bagel?
[all] bread? yes - more applause
[GL] Loaf of bread? No
Breadcrumbs?
A gingerbread house?
Toast?
A slice of bread?
A Sandwich?
[Tuj] breadcrumb? No
[GL] Gingerbread house? No
[Kim] Toast? No
[all] Slice of bread? Another careful No
[GL] Sandwich? No
Audience starts to doubt that the players will pin this down with wild guesses
I have to go out in an hour or so, but should be back for 9:30pm (GMT)
Was my bagel mouldy?
What is the meaning of life?
Bread and Butter Pudding?
[Raak] Mouldy Bagel? Don't know
[all] Meaning of life? Not sure, but I know the ultimate answer.
[GL] B&B Pud? No
Is it a particular variety of bread?
Is the bread associated with a particular culture?
[Raak] Particular variety? Yes - Audience spontaneously combusts with excitement
[Inkspot] Particular culture? Yes - Audience reaches critical mass
Does this culturally significant variety of bread contain NO *animal* substances?
[Chalky] No animal substances? Hmmm...I'll have to find out...ok, there may be an animal substance, but I have found recipes that exclude it. Apologies to anyone who may have assumed there was no animal involved whatsoever.
Unleavened bread?
Bruschetta?
Pita?
Bara brith?
Ciabatta?
Naan bread?
[all] Unleavened? No
[irach] Bruschetta/pita? No
[Rosie] Bara brith? No, but I can see the logic :-)
[Chalky] Ciabatta? No
[GL] Naan bread? YES
Again, sorry about forgetting the animal content, but well done, Gusset Login!
Gosh I finally got one right.

Animal

Human?
[Kim] Yes
Living?
[Chalky] Living? No
Died in the last 100 years?
A religious figure?
[Projoy] Died since 1906? Yes
[Raak] Religious figure? No
Born in the C20th?
Female?
[Projoy] Born between 1901 and 2000? No
[CdM] Female? No
A scientific figure?
[Irouléguy] Scientific figure? No
Died before 1930?
A performer, of any kind?
[all] Dead by 1930? No
[Rosie] Performer? No
Is he to be found on imdb.com?
Politician?
[Phil] imdb.com? No
[irach] Politician? No
Writer?
European?
[Dandalf] Writer? No.
[Irouléguy] European? Yes.
A sportsman?
Artist?
Any military connections?
Royalty?
[Phil] Sportsman? No
[Dandalf] Artist? No, but he has artistic connections - Audience mummers approval
[Irouléguy] Military? No
[irach] Royal? No
Designer?
Is music a connection?
Film maker?
[Phil] Designer? Yes
[carew] Music connection? No. (But he probably listened to it and I think was mentioned in a song once)
[irach] Film maker? Still no, stop asking
In the world of fashion?
Architect?
[Raak] Fashion? No
[CdM] Architect? Yes - Applause from the audience
Le Corbusier?
[Raak] Le Corbusier? No
Sir Christopher Wren?
[Phil] Wren? No

Summary so far: Human, Male, Architect, Died between 1906 and 2006, born prior to 1901, European, not a film maker.


Correction: Died between 1930 and 2006
Died before 1960?
[Phil] Died before 1960? No
Spanish?
[Raak] Spanish? No
Mies van der Rohe?
Bauhaus school?
[Irouléguy] Mies van der Rohe? No
[Raak] Bauhaus school? Yes - Much applause
Ernst May?
Forget that (sketchy research). Was it Gropius?
[Projoy] Ernst May? No
[Projoy] Walter Gropius? YES

I'd hoped that would take longer to guess, well done Projoy

Rats - I was trying to eliminate Gropius, but mis-read the date. Congrats, Projoy.
Oh damn. Sorry, haven't looked in much today - wasn't expecting to get that one. ** sounds of thinkage **

MINERAL

Man made?
Begins with a P?
Eiffel Tower?
A mechanical device?
Fifth letter is a W?
Three words?
Valuable?
Is there only one of these?
A Bungalow?
Salt?
[GL] man-made, NO
[Tuj] "P...", NO
[irach] Eyeful Tower, NO
[Rosie] Mechanical, NO
[CdM] Fifth letter a "W", NO *titters from audience*
[Ig] Three Words, Depends how articulate you are
[Dandalf] Valuable, NO (subjectively)
[Kim] Only one of these, YES
[Botherer] Bungalow, NO
[all] Salt, NO *the gentlest murmur of interest from just a few members of the audience, as if a light breeze had blown over a doormat*
Ice?
A natural object?
[Raak] Ice, NO.
[Ink] Natural object, YES
The sea?
(more answers this evening, as I'm away from internet this arvo)
[GL] The Sea, NO *some applause*
A body of water?
Is it an ocean?
OK, now I'm *really* going until this evening.
[Ig] body of water, NO
[GL] an ocean, NO
*(but some scattered applause at ocean)*
The White Cliffs of Dover?
The English Channel?
Something on the edge of an ocean?
An island?
Sand?
Coastal wetlands?
The Gulf Stream?
[all] White cliffs, NO
[Ink] Island, NO * a little laughter *
[irach] sand, NO
[Rosie] costal wetlands, NO
[Ig] Gulf Stream, NO *two members of the audience start paying attention again*
Mariana Trench?
Something on the edge of an ocean?
[GL] edge of the ocean, NO, but
[Dandalf] Wow! Excellent bit of intuition. It was indeed the Mariana Trench.
The renewed interest when gulf stream was mentioned somehow triggerred off Mariana Trench. So Ig deserves a share of the Wow! And now for something completely different.....ANIMAL
Michael Palin?
Human?
Alive?
Male?
Mythical?
Palin - NO
Human - YES
Alive - YES
Male - YES
Mythical - NO
Involved with the arts?
European?
Born before 10th March 1976?
Welsh Rugby player?
Arts? NO
European? YES (A slight murmur from the audience)
pre 10/3/76?
Welsh Rugby player? NO
Scientist?
British?
You didn't answer GL's question, by the way. Thanks for the share of the 'wow' - nearest I've come in this game for some time.
Sportsman?
Wayne Rooney?
GL sorry Born pre 10/3/76? YES
Scientist? NO
British? YES
SPORTSMAN? NO
WR NO
Sorry about the poor formatting.
Of a non-European ethnic origin?
(for a value of "ethnic" that might extend to his great-grandparents, say)
Born before 10 March 1956?
[Projoy] non-European ethnic? YES *ripples of applause as audience sits up*
[GL] pre-10/3/56? NO
Paul Boateng?
Appears on TV regularly?
Musician?
[Raak] Boateng? NO
[Projoy] YES *round of applause from audience*
[Inkspot] Musician? NO
Lenny Henry?
[Rosie] LH? NO ripple of applause
A comedian?
Ainsley Harriet
[PJ] Comedian/ -hmmmm
[Phil] Ainsley? Ready, Steady.... YES! Well done and sorry for delay!
I wish I could explain how the name popped into my head - I think it was the "always on tv" aspect with a round of applause. OK, time to think of another.

Vegetable with some Mineral

Ripple of applause for Lenny Henry, might have done it subconsciously, as LH had the title role in CHEF.
Salted peanuts?
Wood that's beginning to petrify?
A club with a nail in it?
Veneered Chipboard?
A household artefact?
A lemon with a sub-machine gun?
Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?
A drink?
Is it edible?
Is it bigger than a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?
Whisky and soda?
A wet towel?
A leek?
[Raak] Peanuts? No
[irach] part-petrified wood? No
[GL] Nailed club? No
[Projoy] veneered chipboard? No
[INJ] household artefact? No
[all] armed lemon? No
[Chalky] CN Cornflakes? No
[Inkspot] A drink? No
[Irouléguy] Edible? No
[Kim] Bigger than box of cornflakes? No
- Audience feels we may be getting somewhere at last
[Raak] W&S? No
[Dandalf] Wet towel? No
[Rosie] Leek? No
- Audience loses optimism
cardboard?
Does it have anything written on it?
Bigger t han a coffee mug?
A container of some sort?
A bowl of cornflakes?
A bowl of cornflakes?
Oops sorry - doubleposted!
Is it made of wood?
Is it designed to contain something?
[Chalky] Cardboard? No
[Projoy] Text thereon? Yes
[GL] Container? No
[Dandalf] Bowl of cornflakes? Nay, and twice nay :-)
[all] Made of wood? No
- Some audience members mutter to each other
[Projoy] Designed to contain something? No
A form of some kind?
I say, Bigger than a coffee mug?
Designed to be written on?
[Raak] Apologies - Bigger than a coffee mug? No
- Audience becomes interested again
[Rosie] A form? No
[INJ] To be written on? No
Made of bamboo?
[Raak] Bamboo? No
Clarification: When I said "it has things written on it", to be utterly precise the word "printed" would be better than "written".
Is it bigger than a box of matches?
A postage stamp?
A coffee mug?
A £10 note?
[Kim] Bigger than a box of matches? In terms of volume, using a Bryant & May matchbox (37x55x17mm). No, but it's a close run thing.
- Audience finds this fascinating, but they are a little nerdy
[Chalky] Postage stamp? No
[all] Mug? No
[Chalky] £10 note? No
Long and thin?
[Projoy] Long & thin? No
Is it made of cotton?
A reel of thread?
[Chalky] Cotton? No
[Raak] Reel of thread? No
Is it made of paper?
[CHalky] Made of paper? No
Audience eagerly awaits Projoy or Kim's next question
A calling card?
A Champagne Cork?
[Inkspot] Calling card? No
[Chalky] Champagne cork? No
A beermat?
Can I confirm that it's not made from wood, cardboard, paper, cotton or cork?
Does it play a part in the preparation of food?
Is it normally hand made?
Is the vegetable part alive?
Is it flat?
[CdM] Beermat? No
[Chalky] Not wood, cardboard, paper, cotton, cork? Correct
[Kim] Food prep? No
[Inkspot] Handmade? No
[GL] Live veg? No
[CdM] Flat? No
Is the mineral part a candle?
A potato print?
[all] Candle? No
[GL] Potato print? No
Is it made from a fruit?
A tin of tobacco?
Is it made of rubber?
[Inkspot] Made of fruit? No
[Rosie] Tin o'baccy? No
[Raak] Made of rubber? YES
- Rapturous applause from audience
The wheel of a Tonka Toy?
[Projoy] Tonka wheel? Alas, no.
Unfortunately, I have to work for the next few hours, but should be able to pop back in a couple of times over the course of the evening.
Squash ball?
A packet of three?
[Dandalf] Squash Ball? YES
[Raak] 12-months supply for a married man? Unfortunately, no.
Congrats to Dandalf!
At last I can share the trivia that the volume of a squash ball is only 3% less than that of a standard box of matches, as its diameter is 40mm, giving a volume of 33510 cubic mm, compared with 34595 cubic mm.
[Phil] Thanks. I actually worked out the volume before guessing! Now I have to think of something else..... what about ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
A fictional character?
David Attenborough's 'Planet Earth'?
Is the animal connection human?
[Inkspot] Fictional character? NO
[Iroulegey] Planet Earth? NO
[INJ] Human? YES
A character of legend?
Is the animal connection a particular human?
Any artistic connection?
[Kim} Legend? NO
[CdM] Particular human? NO
[INJ] Artistic connection? NO
God?
Is the human connection a particular nationality?
Is it a bird?
Is it a persons title?
Forget last one, put it down to lack of tea and bicuits
Law?
Is it a collective title?
Is it a category of person?
[Phil] God? God, NO
[Irouleguy]Particular nationality? No (murmurings from the audience)
[Inkspot] bird? NO (happily munching on choc digestive while sipping a cup of Earl Grey :) )
[Raak] Law? NO
[GL]collective title? In the sense that it covers a number of items, YES
[KIM]person category? NO
A human construct?
(welcome return of an old favourite)
A golem?
[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO
[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO
Oh No not again! sorry
Does it have something to do with nationalities?
[Raak] Nationalities? YES,partly.
Does it have something to do with a geographical region comprising several counties?
[Kim] YES, but not geographical.
- Audience suddenly wakes up and applauds loudly
A trading cartel of countries?
County Cricket?
Are we talking about counties, not countries?
Typo alert.
(Trying to summarize) Is it a name given to a group of geographically dispersed people with something in common?
[Inkspot] Trading cartel? NO
[Projoy] County cricket? NO
[Rosie] counties/countries? The one with the R.
[CdM] Such a name is one of the words on the card! Loud applause!
Refugees?
A politiocal grouping (in a wide sense - as opposed to say economic)?
Communism?
A racial grouping?
[Inkspot] Refugees? NO
[INJ] Political grouping? YES but that's not the full answer (Applause)
[GL] Communism? NO (some chuckles from audience)
[CdM] Racial grouping? NO
Is it NATO?
Was it created by a treaty?
neo-fascists?
Is it a formal organization?
[Kim] NATO? NO
[Raak] Created by Treaty? NO, but by the ~~~~~~~ Declaration
[IN]neo-fascists? NO
[CdM] Formal organisation? YES
The State/Citizens of Israel
Associated with the UN?
Balfour?
[Projoy] Israel? NO
[INJ] UN? NO
[Raak] The Balfour Declaration? YES (wild applause) but still some way to go.
The Zionist Federation?
unlikely but you never know
Hamas?
[all] Zionist Fed? NO
Hamas? NO
CLARIFICATION: I've just found out that there are two distinct Balfour declarations, one dated 1917 and the other 1926. It is to the latter that I referred in replying to Raak. Get googling!
The British Commonwealth?
[all] B. Commonwealth? YES - but still not the answer on the card.
The Commonwealth Games?
[GL] Commonwealth Games YES Well Done!
Huzzah! Thank you all for the help
I will seek inspiration from the random function of wikipedia

Animal

Human?
Human? - Yes
Alive?
Alive? - Yes
Male?
European?
Sportsman/sportswoman
SPORTSMAN
Currently in the news?
Political figure?
Male? - Yes
European? - No
Sportsman/sportswoman SPORTSMAN? - No
In the news? - Not that I've noticed
Political? - Yes
Middle Eastern?
Is he now retired from the office/position for which he is most famous?
Merkin?
Middle Eastern? - No
Retired? - Yes
American? - No
Butros Butros Ghali?
Butros*2 Ghali? - No
African?
African? - No
Chinese?
Australian?
Asian?
Chinese? - No
Australian? - Yes *Applause*
Asian? - No
John Howard?
John Howard? - No

Summary: A living male Australian politician who has retired.

Bob Hawke?
Bob Hawke? - No
Bryan Gould?
Gough Whitlam?
Must be getting on a bit.
Bryan Gould? - No
Gough Whitlam? - No - but The audience is looking interested (As they did at the mention of Bob Hawke)
Richard Alson?
sorry - make that 'ALSTON'
Richard Alston? - No
Malcolm Fraser?
Malcolm Fraser? - Yes
There weren't many more left to try! OK here goes - VEGETABLE
Living?
Edible?
Bigger than a pumpkin?
Living? YES
Edible? YES
Bigger than pumpkin? NO
Is it normally cooked before being eaten?
Oops! It seems I was wrong. Not edible! will explain error at the end.
Is it an inedible part of something that also has an edible part?
Edible+inedible? NO
Is its inedibility due to it being poisonous?
Toxic? Not particularly
Green?
Green? YES! Applause
A leaf of some kind?
Leaf? YES Renewed applause
A shamrock?
[Raak] YES! Well done. Re my error concerning edibility, I googled "shamrock recipes" and got loads of sites with "shamrock salad", "shamrock sandwiches" "shamrock pie" etc. I didn't bother to visit any but just assumed that shamrocks were edible. Later I found out these were all sham recipes [ :) ] and did not contain any shamrocks at all but were either green, cut into shamrock shapes or were green cocktails consisting mainly of Irish Whiskey and Chartreuse or lime cordial! And now over to Raak.
The next one is MINERAL
manufactured?
Metal, largely?
[CdM] Partly.
[Rosie] Yes.
Jewelry of some kind?
Bigger than a phone-box?
[CdM] No.
[Ir] No.
Contains Moving parts?
Choking hazard, not suitable for children under 42 months?
[INJ] Er...sort of.
[GL] No.
Bigger than a shoe-box?
A moving part of some kind?
Powered by electricity?
[INJ] No.
[CdM] Er...sort of. That is, part of it does move, but it's not what you would call "a moving part".
[Inkspot] No.
A Zippo lighter?
A tool?
[I] Not a Zippo lighter.
[I] Not a tool.
Bigger than a Zippo lighter?
Does the moveable part have to move for the thing to "work"?
Is the part that moves liquid?
[K] Could be bigger or smaller.
[R] Er...quite the opposite. (Laughter from the audience) But it must move for this thing to be what it is.
[INJ] (Applause!) Yes.
A spirit level?
[I] Clever, but no.
Thermometer?
[C] Ditto.
Is it a particular liquid?
[I] Usually.
A rain-gauge?
Mine needs some exercise.
[Rosie] No.
A barometer?
[Kim] No.
[Everyone] Not a tool, remember. The last few guesses were all tools.
Snowglobe?
[GL] Not a snowglobe. (The audience hibernates in underground caverns while glaciers sweep down from the poles.)
Is the liquid usually oil?
Does it have glass parts?
A lava lamp?
[I] Not usually oil.
[I] No glass.
[R] Not a lava lamp.
Is the liquid a drink?
[I] Erm....the typical liquid is water.
Does the water not move when the thing is working because it is frozen?
Is this thing basically ornamental?
[CdM] (A meteor strike melts the ice sheets and the audience wake up and re-evolve into sentient creatures again.) No.
[Rosie] Not ornamental.
Is it a container?
Kitchen sink plug?
strike thast= not usually metallic.
thast= that-
[GL] Container? Sort of.
[D] Not a plug.
Is this used on its own, or as a component of something?
[I] It's a part of something.
Is it an indicator of some kind?
[Rosie] Not an indicator.
Is this a fair summary of what we know so far?
Summary:
Mostly metal, involves water as it's only moving part.
Is not ornimental.
A container of sorts.
Is used as a component.
May be bigger or smaller than a zippo lighter.
Is not functional?(not a tool).
A washer?
A valve?
[GL] Yes, mostly. It's not a tool but does normally perform a function. And container is onyl sort of.
[all] No. (The audience evolve sentience the better to appreciate the impending conclusion of the game.)
[I] No. (Impressed by this sign of the end times, the audience build a temple to Nicholas Parsons and pray for the rapture.)
A stopcock?
[I] No.
A tap?
A cistern?
[all] Not a tap.
[Kim] Not a cistern.
(The audience can hardly move for stepping on portents of the Second Coming.)
A syringe?
[Rosie] (The heavens cloud over.) No.
Used indoors?
[Rosie] Could be indoors or outdoors.
A pipe?
[Projoy] (He is the Messiah!) Yes (but not the complete answer).
A stand-pipe?
[I] Might be a standpipe or not.
Drainpipe?
[GL] No.
How many words are on the card?
lead piping?
in the study
[I] Yes.
[all] Could be, or not.
Is it for rain water?
[I] Not for rain water.

(A ghostly hand with the word "CLUE" tattooed on it points at CdM's last question.)

a heating element?
[Chalky] Not a heating element.
An ice cube maker?
"Yes" words on the card? We need to remember this #%$*@# pipe could be smaller than a zippo lighter!
Is ice involved?
Raak is playing a straight bat, he should only give Yes or No answers. So yes there are words on the card, the question should realy have been phrased "Are there more than XXX words on the card".
Personally I'm just as far away from any notion of what the answer as I was at the start.
Does it require to be operated for it to carry out its function?
(Inkspot) Traditionally it was legitimate to ask how many words on the card, and the answer could include a helpful addition such as "including the definite article".
Does one carry this object about on one's person?
test tube
...except that that's a tool...
A frozen pipe?
I thought I'd already posted this one, but it seems to have disappeared.
[INJ] I just looked, and you didn't. (Members of the audience prophesy in tongues and cast out demons.) Very nearly!
Oops, missed out all those other qns.
[Inkspot] Not an ice cube maker.
[Inkspot] (Receives similar raptures from the audience.) Yes (usually).
[Rosie,Dandalf,Projoy] (A fiery chasm opens up under your feet.) No.
A burst pipe?
[all] The seventh seal has been opened, the City of God is built on the Earth, and the elect rejoice for ever.) Yes, a burst pipe!
At ----ing last

Mineral

Manufactured?
[Rosie] Manufactured? - No
A geographical feature?
Water, in any of its forms?
Metallic?
[Irouléguy] geographical feature? - Yes
[Rosie] Water? - No - *The Audience mutter to each other*
[irach] Metallic - No
When I say no to "Water, in any of its forms?" I mean the answer isn't water, not that water isn't involved... though it might not be.
A valley of some kind?
Most valleys round here are dry. Soon they will all be.
Is there more than one of these?
[Rosie] A valley? - Of some kind, I guess
[CdM] More than one? - No
a crater?
Is it a named geographical feature?
[Projoy] A crater? - No
[Kim] Named geographical feature? - Yes, how many unnamed ones can you think of?
Cheddar Gorge?
[Rosie] Cheddar Gorge? - No.
Is it in the northern hemisphere?
Is it in the Eastern hemisphere?
[Irouléguy] Northern Hemisphere? - Yes
[Projoy] Eastern Hemisphere? - Eastern hemisphere? What the hell is the eastern hemisphere? At a guess I'd say no.
Is it in the United States?
(all) E Hemisphere is 0° to 180° East. Where I worked you could have a foot in both.
[Rosie] USA? - Yes
The Grand Canyon?
[Rosie] The Grand Canyon? - No
In a National Park?
[unnamed geographical features] Let's start with the 5 metre wooded slope on the other side of the road from my window.
Death Valley?
[InJ] National Park? - No
[Irouléguy] Death Valley - No
Deptford Creek?
[Kim] Deptford Creek? - No.
Is it east of the Mississippi?
Does it have historical significance?
[Irouléguy] East of the Mississippi? - No
[InJ] Historical significance? - I haven't been able to find any
*Is* there any water involved?
A mountain?
[GL] Involves water? - Yes - *Audience wakes up*
[Inkspot] Mountain? - No
Is it a river?
Is it North of Nashvillle?
Is it in California?
[Kim] River? - No
[Inkspot] North of Nashvillle? - Yes
[CdM] California? - Yes
A desert?
Lake Tahoe?
Salt Flats?
[Inkspot] Dessert? - No
[Irouléguy] Lake Tahoe? - YES
[InJ] Salt Flats? - No
Much of Godfather 2 is set on the shores of Lake Tahoe, IIRC, which is what made me think of it.
Feels like ages since I've had the chair - our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Is the animal part human?
Is the animal part-human?
Is it a symbolic animal?
Kim] Is the animal part human? No
Kim] Is the animal part-human? No
Raak] Is it a symbolic animal? No
Is it a for legged animal?
A pig in a poke, idiomatically
Inkspot] Is it a four legged animal? Yes
irach] A pig in a poke, idiomatically? No
A Cheshire cat?
Rosie] A Cheshire cat? *murmurs of appreciation from the audience* No
The cat that walks by itself?
The white rabbit?
Projoy] The cat that walks by itself? No
all] The white rabbit? No
A cat of some sort?
Raak] A cat of some sort? No
Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself?
Is is an animal of fiction?
The laughing cow?
A part of an animal?
Rosie] Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself? No
Kim] Is it an animal of fiction? No
Gusset Login] The laughing cow? No
Raak] A part of an animal? No

*the audience worries that their murmurs may have been misinterpreted*
Is it an anthropomorphism?
One Swallow?
Kim] Is it an anthropomorphism? No
Projoy] One Swallow? No
An animal found in the wild in Britain?
Dog in the manger?
irach] An animal found in the wild in Britain? *the audience prick up their ears* Part of the answer, but not the answer.
Dandalf - Dog in the manger? No
Related to a specific place?
Fox-hunting?
Raak] Related to a specific place? Not a place
Rosie - Fox-hunting? *cries of 'Tally-ho' from the audience* No
Related to a specific region?
Inkspot] Related to a specific region? Not a region
Scottish wild cat?
British Bulldog?
Dandalf] Scottish wild cat? No
Kim] British Bulldog? No

There's a clue in the phrasing of the answers to Raak and Inkspot's questions.
Related to a specific time?
The first cuckoo in Spring?
Phil] Related to a specific time? In a sense, yes, but that's not really useful Dandalf] The first cuckoo in Spring? Four legs right, two legs wrong No - see earlier answer to Inkspot
Related to a specific county?
Related to a specific country?
Related to a specific activity?
Is the animal normally considered edible?
Gusset Login] Related to a specific county? No
Gusset Login - Related to a specific country? No
Raak - Related to a specific activity? No
Rosie - Is the animal normally considered edible? *cries of "Nice one, Rosie" from the audience* Proverbially not
Fine distinctions
Perhaps that should be 'famously' rather than 'proverbially'.
The pursuit of the uneatable by the unspeakable?
*applause* Not the answer, but as a Wilde guess it's definitely on the right scent.
[showing face again after bipedal gaffe! (actually I was hopeful with that since it was so topical!)] Badger?
A crazy fox?
Dandalf] Badger? It's easy to get confused about feet - that's the advantage of the metric system *ducks* No
Projoy - A crazy fox? *applause* Some might think so...
An animal puppet?
Basil Brush?
A rabid fox?
Is "fox" one of the words on the card?
Raak] An animal puppet? No
Projoy] Basil Brush? No
Rosie] A rabid fox? No
CdM] Is "fox" one of the words on the card? *loud cheering* Yes (though strictly speaking it's 'foxes')
Any connection to Leicester?
CdM] Any connection to Leicester? By definition, yes (though that could be misunderstood).
Anything to do with a team game?
Name of a pub?
The Leicestershire Foxes?
Urban foxes?
Buy that man a drink! Yes, it's urban foxes. Over to Phil.
What, me? Wow - that felt like a bit of a lurker's victory, although I see so many semi-urban foxes on a daily basis it jumped straight into my mind. So I'll set a nice simple one for now.

ANIMAL

Basil Brush?
(it's bound to be Basil Brush sooner or later now, it's too good an idea to waste)
Human?
Alive?
[Projoy] B. Brush? Not this time
[Rosie] Human? Yes
[GL] Alive? Yes
Is it you?
[all] Me? No *applause from audience*
Is it a member of the morniverse community?
[CdM] Morniverser? No
Is it someone else called Phil?
Are they male?
Al Murray?
[Kim] Another Phil? No
[GL] Male? No
[Irouléguy] Al Murray? I like your thinking, but no
An entertainer?
A specific individual?
[Rosie] Entertainer? No
[CdM] Individual? Yes
Mrs Trellis of North Wales?
[GL] Mrs T of N. Wales? No, sadly. *audience laughs*
European?
Someone associated with the pub trade?
[Irouléguy] European? Yes
[Raak] Pub trade? No
Musician?
[Kim] Musician? Amateur
Is this female famous for being totally vacuous, ie: a model?
A politician?
Equally vacuous.
[Chalky] Famous for being vacuous? No
[Rosie] Politician? No
*Audience starts to mutter about being ignored*
The lovely Samantha?
British?
Mrs Phil?
[Irouléguy] Samantha? No
[Rosie] British? Yes
[Projoy] Mrs Phil? In a way, yes, but those are not the two words on the card. *excited applause from audience*
Yo Momma?
Your wife?
[Projoy] Presuming you're not "calling" me, then, essentially - YES, it was my mum all along.
OK. This one is MINERAL, mainly, with some VEGETABLE. In another sense, the whole thing is ABSTRACT.
Traffic?
[Rosie] Traffic, no *but applause from audience*
Gridlock?
[Dandalf] gridlock, no
Anything to do with broadcasting?
[Rosie] Broadcasting, not really, no. Not in any helpful way.
Something to do with transport?
A road?
The road to hell?
[Rosie] Transport, YES *applause*
[Ig] Road, no
[all] Road to Hell, no, and, strangely, that doesn't even lead to your getting warmer.
[All] I think it's probably wise not to get hung up on the Abstract bit, since as abstracts go, this one is pretty concrete.
A transport network?
The Motor Museum at Beaulieu?
[INJ] Transport network, no
[Chalky] Motor Museum, no
A form of transport?
[INJ] Form of transport, YES
Was going to suggest "Stairway to Heaven", but..... what about London Bus?
[Dandalf] Nope, not a London Bus
Something to do with the London Underground?
A pushbike?
[Kim] Nope, not LU
[Ig] Nope, not a pushbike
Network Rail?
[Rosie] Nope, on the wrong track there. :)
Land transport?
[Dandalf] Land transport, YES
Passenger-carrying?
(paying or otherwise)
Military vehicle?
An SUV?
An RV?
[INJ] Passenger-carrying, YES
[Kim] Military, no
[Ig] SUV, no
[all] I don't know what that is, but certainly not the words on the card.
A tram?
Paying passengers?
Taxi?
A bus company?
a car?
[Projoy] RV = Recreational Vehicle = Motor home
Not a tram, no paying passengers, not a taxi, not a bus company, but YES, it is a car.
(that's not the whole answer, obviously :) )
stretch limousine?
a Ford Prefect?
[Dandalf] No, not a stretch limo
[Ig] Not a Ford Prefect. *sustained applause*.
Morris Minor Traveller (the estate one)?
[Phil] Nope, not a Morris Minor.
A model-T Ford?
Dagenham Dustbin?
A Ford Popular?
[Ig] *scattered applause*, no
[Rosie] *laughter*, no (at least not by the definition of that phrase I just googled)
[INJ] *more laughter and some applause, no, not at all.
A currently available model?
A Ford Focus?
[INJ] Not currently available
[Ig] Ford Focus, no.
A Reliant Robin?
RR, nope.
Was it a sporty model?
UK manufactured?
[Kim] Sporty - I don't think so.
[INJ] UK manufactured, no.
An Edsel?
*rapturous applause* Congratulations. Specifically THE EDSEL ("an Edsel" wouldn't be abstract at all).
(Projoy) Being a Ford, it would be a Detroit Dustbin, then, though the phrase doesn't quite flow.
Not a de Lorean then?
OK, the next one is ANIMAL
human?
[Rosie] A Detroit Trashcan, if you want to be kolchrally krekt.
[INJ] de Lorean's were manufactured in NI, weren't they?
[PJ] human? - NO
De Lorean's were manufactured in NI, that's why I asked the UK manufactured question.
Mammal?
extinct?
One specific animal?
An anarcho-syndicalist wildebeeste?
Can it fly?
[Iroul ] Mammal - YES
[all ] extinct - Hmmm - (after some hesitation) NO
[Kim ] One specific animal? - YES
[Rosie] anarcho-syndicalist wildebeeste? - Not as such
[GL] Can it fly - YES (some laughter in the audience)
A flying fox?
[Kim] Flying Fox - NO
Can it swim (or could it?)
[PJ] could it swim - YES (I assume so)
Any mythical connection?
(Projoy) Detroit Trashcan? Nah, ain't 'llitrativ.
[Rosie] mythical connection - NO
Animal mentioned in fiction?
[irach] Animal mentioned in fiction? - Not a fictional animal (though I'm sure it has been mentioned in fiction)
Is this animal found in the wild in Europe?
Endangered species?
[Iroul] found in the wild in Europe? - NO
[Dandalf] Endangered - NO
Laika?
Is this animal alive now?
One specific, named animal?
(rather than a species, for instance)
He's done it again
[Raak] Now that's impressive. YES It is LAIKA.
Over to you.
ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
Is the animal human?
Is the animal connected to anything?
[INJ] Partly human.
[C] Is not everything connected to everything else in the great skein of being?
To put my first answer more clearly, the animal connections include human connections.
Roadkill?
[C] Not roadkill.
Is it a human construct?
I'm taking this to be ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS, unless the answer is dog leads.
Metaphorical shoe-leather?
[INJ] Not a human construct, and not abstract either.
[Projoy] Not metaphorical shoe-leather.
umbilical cords?
struggling to get into this
[INJ] Not umbilical cords (those would definitely be Animal).
To make the initial words more explicit, this thing is neither Animal, nor Vegetable, nor Mineral, nor Abstract, but has Animal connections.
The particle zoo?
A toadstool?
Does it have a sensible physical manifestation?
[Projoy] Not the particle zoo, whatever that is.
[Ir] Not a toadstool.
[INJ] Yes, it has a sensible physical manifestation.
(The audience has just remembered to give an approving murmur to Irouléguy's question.)
Does it exist in the real world?
[Phil] Yes, it exists in the real world.
Are we in the world of the very small?
[Projoy] Yes. (Applause!)
A cell?
[Rosie] Not a cell.
A micro-organism, eg bacterium, virus, etc?
DNA?
E. Coli?
(smacks forehead) Not a cell. Ok, a protein base?
H5N1?
The prion that causes BSE?
[Rosie] Yes, [Chalky] No, [Projoy] No, [I] No...
[Kim] YES! "Bird flu" was on the card but H5N1 will do.
A-tishoo!
Thanks, folks. Let's kick off the week with a nice easy
ANIMAL
A dead swan with bird flu?
Frank Sinatra?
An insect?
Human?
Male?
[Raak] Dead swan? No.
[Irouleguy] Old Blue-eyes? No.
[Inkspot] Insect? No.
[Chalky] Human? Yes.
[Rosie] Male? Yes.
Alive?
A TV personality?
Alive-o?
Born before 1940?
European?
[Raak] Alive? No.
[Chalky] TV personality? No.
[Projoy] Alive-o? No-o. Not in Dublin's fair city, nor anywhere else, for that matter.
[Inkspot] Born before 1940? Yes.
[IG] European? Yes.
British?
Connected with the arts?
Did he die in the 21st century?
A scientist?
Born before 1880?
[Projoy] British? Yes.
[Raak] Connected with the arts? No.
[Chalky]Died in 21st Century? No.
[Inkspot] Scientist? No.
[GL] Born before 1880? Yes.
A titled person?
statesman?
Died in the C18th?
[Inkspot] Titled? No.
[INJ] Statesman? No.
[Projoy] Died in C18th? Yes.
Capability Brown?
Active in politics?
Sir Christopher Wren?
[IG] Capability Brown? No.
[Raak] Active in politics? No.
[Rosie] Christopher Wren? No.
A philosopher?
Is he known through his writings?
A military person?
Composer?
English? (ie not Scottish or Welsh)
[Projoy] Philosopher? No.
[Inkspot] Military person. Hmmm. On balance, I would have to say Yes. *Some members of the audience stir in their sleep*
[Irach] Composer? No.
[IG] English? Most of the audience now sit up, yawn and stretch* The generally accepted answer to this is Yes.
And my question?
Ned Ludd?
Sorry Raak!
[Raak] Your question: known through his writings? No.
[Raak] Nedd Ludd? No.
Royal?
[GL] Royal? No.
Is anything named after him?
a craftsman?
[Rosie] Anything named after him? Difficult to answer fairly without either being excessively cryptic or giving the game away, so I am going to say Yes.
[INJ] Craftsman? Many are called craftsmen with more or less justification and he might have been, but he was not a craftsman in the "skilled artisan" sense.
Did he build things?
[Raak] A builder of things? No.
*The audience feels that the earlier answers that made them sit up should be considered further".
A British artist who painted military themed paintings?
Did he march ten thousand men up and down a hill?
Is there a naval connection?
[irach] Artist? No.
[Raak] Prince Andrew? No.
[IG] Naval connection? Yes. *Some applause*
Admiral Lord Nelson?
Captain Cook?
Edward Teach (aka Blackbeard)?
Arrrr!
Congrtulations, Phil! I would have accepted either answer, but you got both. *Hands over cutlass and ceremonial eyepatch to Phil*
Why are pirates called pirates? Just because they Arrrr!
Dear God, really!? I thought I was just being obtuse, by trying to work out who could be naval, somehow of a military nature, possibly have something named after them, but not into politics etc. Then I searched for pirates that died in the 18th century, and picked the most famous one. I'm somewhat surprised to have got that right, to tell the truth.
Hmmm...another apparently simple one

Vegetable

David Beckham?
A long shot, perhaps.
Edible?
Living plant or product?
A single object?
A host of golden daffodils?
[Rosie] El Beckham? Alas, no
[Chalky] Edible? Yes
[Dandalf] Living plant or product? Yes
[INJ] Single Object? No
[Irouléguy] Host of Daffs? No
Requires cooking?
Is it typically cultivated (as opposed to being gathered)?
Consists of a single vegetable rather than a mix of >1
Is it specific to a particular country or culture?
An herb?
[Rosie] Requires cooking? No
[CdM] Typically cultivated? yes
[INJ] Single "vegetable"? Yes
[Irouléguy] Prticular country or culture? Yes
[Dandalf] An herb? Yes - [Applause from come audience members]
CORRECTION
[Irouléguy] Particular country or culture? COrrect answer is No. Don't try to read anything into my confusion, it's just me being clumsy.
watercress?
Is it green, mainly?
Banana?
(Yes it is a herb)
Does it need to be dug out of the ground?
[Chalky] watercress? No
[Rosie] Mainly green? No
[all] Banana? Not the answer on the card - [Rapturous Applause]
[Inkspot] Dug out of the ground? No
plantain?
[INJ] Plantain? No
A Bunch of bananas?
Banana pepper?
[all] YES! "A bunch of bananas" is the phrase on the card - congrats.
um... thank you
all - Time for a new item, this on is:

Animal

Is it an animal?
[Projoy] Is it an animal? As opposed to Vegetable, Mineral or Abstract? Yes
Is it AN animal?
Human?
[Rosie] Is it AN animal? - As opposed to several? Yes
[Irouléguy] Human? - Yes
Currently living?
Male?
[irach] Currently living? - Opinion is divided on this one, personally I\'d say: No
[Inkspot] Male? - Yes
Jesus Christ?
Osama Bin Laden?
Fictional?
Elvis Presley?
[Rosie] Jesus Christ? - No
[CdM] OBL? - No
[Projoy] Fictional? - No
[Néa] Elvis Presley? - No
European?
Margaret Thatcher?
Oops, male.
Ariel Sharon?
Lord Lucan?
(Raak) Right the first time.
[CdM] European? - Yes
[Raak] Margaret Thatcher? - No
[Raak] Ariel Sharron? No
[Rosie] Lord Lucan? - YES
This one is MINERAL. Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines or trombones.
Something to do with the weather?
;-)
(Projoy) To do with the weather? - No. I forgot that one.
A barrel of crude?
Something manufactured?
Does it need electric power?
(Dandalf) - Not a barrel of crude
(Irouléguy) Manufactured? - Yes, generally. It's an artefact.
(Inkspot) Does not need electric power.
Is it associated with a particular culture?
Does it have a purpose?
Smaller than a toaster?
Are there multiple instances of it?
Do you own one?
Mostly made of metal?
(CdM) - Not associated with a particular culture.
(Projoy) - A purpose? It certainly does.
(Raak) - Can be smaller than a toaster, but certainly not necessarily.
(CdM) - There are lots of them.
(Phil) - Do I own one? No, not yet.
(Irouléguy) - Made of metal? Usually, but not necessarily.
Is it a household item?
(i.e. rather than outdoors or in a public space)
(INJ) - Indoors household item? No.
Does it contain electronics?
phone box?
Does not need electric power... Solar phonebox?
(Raak) - No electronics.
(Projoy) Not a solar phone box, but *some appreciative murmurings from the audience*.
Is it a device for converting energy from one form to another?
Something to do with gardening?
A sundial?
Well, that was quick because RAAK is the winner. Congratulations. A sundial it its. I'm making one for the wall of the back of the house. It faces south 25 degrees east so there's a nice bit of trigonometry involved.
The next object is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Not human.
Roger Rabbit?
A single, named animal?
A character from a book?
[I] Not Roger Rabbit.
[I] Hm, yes and no. Strictly speaking, according to the words on the card, no.
[I] Hm, yes and no (see previous answer). More yes than no.
A four legged animal?
mammal?
[I] Four-legged.
[I] Mammalian.
Is the book a children's book?
Gadarene swine?
[I] Yes. (Applause!)
[P] No.
dogs?
Rupert Bear?
[P] Not dogs.
[R] Not Rupert Bear.
some sort of mythological beast that doesn't exist in the real world?
A tigger?
A character from a Lewis Carroll offering?
[Projoy] Yes.
[I] No.
[Chalky] Yes. (Clapping and cheering! Bunches of roses are cast up onto the stage!)
A Grinning Cheshire cat?
Snarks?
[Projoy] Your Snark is a Boojum, I fear.
[i] Yes! A Cheshire cat.
Well, that was quick.
Well, well, well.
This one is ANIMALS... Note the plural
Cardiff City fans?
The Animals? (popular beat combo)
[Rosie] No. ... good try, though : )
[Phil] No.
Are these animals found in the wild?
[Raak] Species-wise, one of them typically is, the other generally not. However, in this particular case, neither is found in the wild. Cryptic answer, but true.
Is at least one of the animals human?
Is the answer two individual animals?
Following on: The Walrus and the Carpenter?
Mammals?
The Lion and the Unicorn?
The Horse and his Boy?
Simon and his Dancing Bear?
Lady and the Tramp?
One Man and his Dog?
Ther Owl and the Pussycat?
[Rosie] No.
[CdM] Yes.
[Dandalf] No.
[Inkspot] One of them is.
[Raak] No.
[Kim} No.
[CdM} No.
[Projoy] No.
[CdM] No.
[INJ] YES!!! Bravo!
Well, it had to be one of those
OK then folks, the next one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Sly like a fox?
Jump over a lazy brown fox
[irach] Sly like a fox - NO
[inks]Jump over a lazy brown fox - NO (anyway it's 'dog' as any fan of Nevin Nollop knows)
Crazy as a loon?
Dog-tired?
Cat-nap?
Is it a phrase?
[irach] Crazy as a loon? - NO
[PJ] Dog-tired - NO
[irach] Cat-nap - NO
[all] a phrase - NO (except in the sense that it consists of more than one word in a meaningful grammatical relationship)
includes a verb?
Bovine anarcho-syndicalism?
A disease?
Is the animal connection human?
Bird flu?
Is it a fictional animal?
An anthropomorphism?
slow going
[Projoy] includes a verb? - NO
[Rosie] Bovine anarcho-syndicalism? - Y...NO
[ Rosie ] disease - NO
[CdM ] Is the animal connection human? - Partly
[ Iroul ] Bird flu? - NO
[ Kim ] a fictional animal? - NO
[ Inks ] anthropomorphism? - NO
Is the animal connection human and one other animal?
A collective name for a group of animals?
Is it a particular place where one might find animals/humans?
[Iroul] human and one other animal? - NO
[Inks] A collective name for a group of animals? - NO
[Chalky] a particular place - NO
Is it a property or characteristic of either an animal or a human?
[Iroul] looking at your previous question I believe my answer is correct, but it may depend on what you actually meant by it. So - to clarify (and help):
as well as the human connection there is only one other type of animal, but more than 1 of them.
[Rosie] property or characteristic of either an animal or a human? - NO
Is the answer along the lines of: ......... and the ......... ?
[Chalky] Is the answer along the lines of: ......... and the ......... ? - NO
The Vicar and Flock?
Sounds like the name of pub, dunnit?
The audience send out for flasks and sleeping bags
[Projoy] Vicar and Flock - NO
A piece of music?
Is the human connection a particular human?
[Inks] music - NO
[CdM] a particular human - NO (audience nod their heads sagely)
Is the other type of animal a mammal?
INJ] Thanks - that was what I meant.
One Man and His Dog?
The boy who cried wolf?
Man and Beast?
Of Mice And Men?
[Iroul] mammal - YES
[Phil] OMAHD - NO
[Dandalf] boy who cried wolf? - NO
[irach] Man and Beast? - NO
[irach] Of Mice And Men? - NO
The Queen's Corgis?
All the King's horses?
Is the mammal native to a particular part of the world?
[Phil] Queen's Corgis? - NO
[irach] King's horses? - NO
[Inks] native to a particular part of the world? - NO
(The audience has split up into card schools and choirs)
Is the human part gender specific?
Does the human element relate to the possessor of the mammal?
[Inks] Is the human part gender specific? - Hmmm. Strictly speaking NO, but in practice, YES
[Phil] Does the human element relate to the possessor of the mammal? - YES
Check your assumptions.
Henry's Cat?
Is the human element a role/title or something similar (with a single incumbent at any given time)?
[all] Henry's Cat - NO (who he?)
[CdM] role/title/something similar - YES(ish) - but I suspect that may mislead as much as help
single incumbent - NO
A game?
[Inks] a game - NO
Are the non-human animals domesticated?
Is the abstract part a human construct?
[INJ] How could you not know of Henry's Cat? Drawn by genius animator Bob Godfrey (last of the great painted-cell animators, none of your computerised rubbish) who was also the creator of "Rhubarb and Custard" and "Noah and Nellie" ("all aboard the skylark!"). Shame on you. How old are you, anyway?
[CdM] domesticated - YES
[Kim] a human construct - NO is the most useful answer
How old? Old enought not to have had a TV at the age when I would have watched such programs
Is it the title of something?
Is the non-human animal canine?
[PJ] title of something? - NO, although it has been used as such
[Iroul] canine - NO
murine?
[PJ] - Not one of Mickey's relatives
feline?
oscine?
[Inks] - feline - NO
[PJ] oscine - I refer my learned friend to my earlier answer about mammals
Rabbit
With a "?"
Do you need a clue yet?
[Inks] Rabbit - NO (with or without ?)
The name of a pub?
A farm animal?
The sum of human knowledge
So far we know this:
It's an abstract that has to do with human and mammal (just one type of mammal? Just one human? We know this not.)

The human part may be a role, but this may be unhelpful. The human part is, in practice but not in principle, gender-specifc

The aforesaid mammal(s) is/are domesticated (so presumably not farm animals?). Is not: dog, cat, mouse, rat, rabbit. I think that's all we know.
equine?
slightly stretching the "domesticated" category...
Smaller than a cat?
But I would say cow is "domesticated" animal, the term should not be assumed to mean "household pet".
[Projoy] Actually only one type of animal but more than 1 of them according to answer to Irouleguy.
The PG Tips Chimps?
A little progress
[Raak] a pub name - NO
[Inks] farm animal - YES
[PJ] equine - YES (some of the audience emerge from their stupor)
[Inks/Chalky] - see above
The summary is reasonable except that,as Dandalf says - you have been told that there is only one type of mammal, but more than one of them.
I've never taken 'domesticated' to mean the same as 'domestic'.
Why didn't the audience wake up at "King's horses" earlier on?
Anything to do with horse racing?
"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride"?
The four horse men of the Apocalypse?
Sorry, horsemen!
A herd of wild horses?
[Dandalf] - Good question - in retrospect, I think they should have.
[Chalky] horse racing? - NO
[PJ] If wishes were horses,... - NO
[Dandalf] Four hoarse men - NO
[Raak] herd of wild horses? - NO
Shortly going away for the long weekend - and yet I feel this one could fall quickly if someone makes the right lateral jump. I'm surprised how hard it is proving.
In retrospect the 'kings horses' should have got some applause.
a work horse?
Hobby Horse
Wild horses wouldn't drag me...?
Sagittarii?
Is the word "horses" on the card?
Can I have two guesses? Horsetrader? Charge of the light brigade?
P.S. Also going away for long weekend
Charge of the light brigade is a very good guess, I think. But I am not sure why the audience would have 'nodded sagely' at my 'particular human?' question, and I would have thought that it was gender-specific in principle. Also, if it is right, then 'King's horses' definitely should have won applause!
Anything to do with show-jumping?
In case 'Charge of the Light Brigade' is wrong.
Yankee Doodle and Pony?
We have a winner
Dandalf was right 'Charge of the Light Brigade' it is.
As I later admitted - King's Horses should have won applause. I can only say that I didn't have a lot of time when I posted that and I also didn't anticipate that it would prove as difficult as it did. Particular human - NO, but 600 particular humans. Gender-specific not now, but yes, then. All arguable.
Anyway, sorry to have kept you waiting, but I've had a very nice weekend away in Mid-Wales and my laptop was not going to come with me.
Over to Dandalf
Well back from my long weekend to find I'd guessed right. Actually I was hesitant about C of the L.B. because of the gender thing - but then thought that the equines probably included both stallions and mares! : ) Whatever - here goes with ABSTRACT with no connections whatsoever. (Oh dear, what have I let myself in for?!?)
Is it a force?
Is it a state of mind?
Can it exist without the perception of a sentient being?
To do with mathematics?
[Inkspot] Force? NO
[Phil] State of mind? Er...YES. Audience stops groaning.
[Rosie] NO. Half-hearted ripple of applause.
[Raak] Maths? NO
Applies only to humans/human minds?
A mystical vision?
Melancholy?
An agreeable state of mind?
[INJ] H/H minds only? YES (...or NO?)
[Raak] M.V. NO
[Irouleguy] Melancholy? NO
[Rosie] YES (but paradoxically could be NO!)
indecisiveness?
Connected with a physical activity?
Lust?
[INJ] Definitely NOT indecisiveness :)
[Raak] NOT connected with physical activity
[Projoy]NOT Lust
Sleep?
Success?
Hope?
[Phil] NOT sleep (which is what audience is settling down to!)
[Raak] NOT Success (which is what is not being achieved!)
[Rosie] NOT Hope (which you shouldn't lose!).
Single-mindedness?
Is it visible on a brain scan?
Does it have anything to do with perception of the future?
Love?
Does the word end with .... ness?
[Raak] Singlemindedness NO
[CdM] NOT visible on brain scan
[Kim] NOT connected to prediction
[Phil] NOT love
[Chalky] One of the words on the card does end with ..ness. (Audience stirs).
Is this a two-word answer?
[Chalky] Five words on the card incl. 1 article and 1 preposition.
A piece of my mind?
As in, giving someone ___.
A piece of my mindness? A pieceness of my mind?
The Unbearable Lightness of Being?
*applauds*
(If that isn't right, it should be)
Spot On!! Wild applause. Well done INJ.
Ooh - me again!
OK, this is ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections
All the King's Horses?
One of the King's Horses?
[Chalky / Dandalf] King's Horses - NO to both,
Is the animal human?
[all] human - NO
One particular animal?
Alive (when it's at home)?
A domesticated animal?
[Iroul] One particular animal? - NO
[PJ] alive? - YES
[Iroul] domesticated? - NO
Sorry. The last one was the answer to Rosie, of course - Ah, the joys of copy and paste.
A herd of wild horses?
[Raak] herd of wild horses - NO
Is the answer on the card a well-known phrase or saying?
Is the beastie timorous? (eg not a lion)
One particular species?
Are they insects?
Associated with a work of fiction?
[CdM] a well-known phrase or saying? - NO - not fair to call it well-known
[Rosie] timorous - NO - that isn't an adjective you'd normally expect to use (but neither is 'fierce')
[[CdM] One particular species? - YES - (smattering of applause)
[Raak] insects? - NO
[Inks] Associated with a work of fiction? - NO
[Iroul] There are 2 ways of reading your penultimate question (one particular animal?).
A horde of wild hearses?
[Raak] - NO
Might They Be Giants?
[Raak] - NO
Is the animal bigger than a domestic cat?
Is the answer on the card the title of something?
[PJ] Bigger than a cat - NO
[CdM] title of something - NO
Is the answer on the card a quotation from something?
A bird?
An insect?
[CdM] a quotation? - NO
[Inks] a bird - YES (some applause)
[PJ] - NO
A Flock of Seagulls?
getting warmer
[Chalky] A Flock of Seagulls? - NO (hearty applause)
The multitude of swallows that *does* make a Summer
Getting your ducks in a row?
INJ] True - I meant one specific animal, as in Lassie, Trigger, Skippy...God, I'm old.
audience settles down a bit again
[PJ] The multitude of swallows that *does* make a Summer - NO
[Iroul] ducks in a row? - NO
[Iroul] That's what I assumed in my response - (BTW I nearly chose 'Champion the Wonder Horse')
Some sort of sea bird?
An emblem or icon of some sort?
[PJ] sea bird - NO (that's not why they applauded)
[Rosie] emblem/icon - NO
Are there four and twenty of them?
[Raak] Are there four and twenty of them? - NO (but a few wry grins amongst the audience)
Game bird?
[Projoy] Game Bird? - NO
[PJ] Well, not in this country. ;o)
Found in this country?
[Projoy] Found in this country? - YES
Do the words on the card include a collective noun?
[Chalky] collective noun - YES (prolonged applause)
A murder of crows?
Soooooooo Close
[Projoy] A murder of crows? - NO (but it's hard to see how you could get closer without getting it)
A murder of ravens?
[Projoy] - A murder of ravens? - NO (but I'm tempted to give it to you anyway - right bird, wrong venereal term - so it was possible to get closer!)
An unkindness?
Nicely Timed
We have a winner - An Unkindness of Ravens it is. A bit tough on Projoy, plus an honourable mention for Chalky, but there you go. Over to CdM just before I have to think about logging out and going home.
I went for (and stuck with) "murder" because of the wry grins at four and twenty blackbirds (who were violently killed, of course), and you do often hear "a murder of ravens" even tho "unkindness" is the more standard term. Nemmind. CdM has it.
[PJ] The 'wry grins' were because they were 'black birds'.
Yes, I stood on the shoulders of giants there. Still, as the saying goes, 'he who larks last, shall be exalted'.
ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections
Live animal(s)?
Live? The least misleading answer is YES, although I could add also NO.
Fictional animals?
Time related?
A single type of animal?
Is this a place?
Fictional animals? No.
Time related? The answer doesn't have anything to do with time. (There is a particular sense in which I could say it is time-related but I don't think that is helpful.)
Single type of animal? Yes.
A place? No.
A single named animal?
Single named animal? If I understand the question correctly, the answer is NO.
Is the animal connection human?
Human? YES.
A theatrical connection?
Theatrical Connection? None that I am aware of.
Is it a saying?
(Not the seven ages of man, then)
The present king of France?
Is there one at the moment?
A saying? NO.
Louis XXIV? NO.
One at the moment? YES. (By which I mean that the answer on the card currently exists. As a minor clue/clarification, my previous answer re "time-related" was because the answer on the card did not always exist and probably will not always exist in the future. I was probably overthinking my answers...)
Is it sport-related?
The Monarchy?
Sport-related? NO.
Monarchy? NO. (some laughter)
Democracy?
Democracy? NO.
The Goons?
I'm trying to think of constructive questions, rather than guesses, but the laughter has me intrigued.
Punk (the supposed form of music)?
Is it the name of a job?
Anything to do with anarcho-syndicalism?
The Goons. NO. more laughter
Punk? NO.
Name of a job? NO. smattering of applause
To do with anarcho-syndicalism? YES! loud applause
The Durutti Column?
The International Workers Association?
Durutti Column? NO. (some applause)
IWA? NO. (some applause)
Does it have a specifically British connection?
British connection? NO. (a pin drops noisily)
Is it a political organisation?
Political organisation? YES. (applause)
The Spanish FAI (Federacion Anarquista Iberica)?
FAI? NO. (loud applause) (this is a very helpful audience)
Confederación Nacional del Trabajo?
CNT? YES! *refuses to pass the baton as it is a symbol of bourgeois oppression*
Courtesy of the wiki random article feature, here is a VEGETABLE.
edible?
manufactured/processed?
Is it *A* vegetable?
[INJ] NO.
[CdM] NO.
[Rosie] YES.
Is it a tree?
Tropical?
[Raak] NO.
[CdM] YES.
a flower?
(in the normal sense of the term - not just an angiosperm)
[INJ] YES.
Lotus?
[CdM] NO.
Hibiscus?
Rafflesia?
Available in European florists? (on a reasonably regular basis)
[irach] NO (but at this and the previous question, the audience is starting to pay attention)
[Raak] NO (but ditto)
[INJ] YES -- at least, I am fairly sure about the "reasonably regular" part.
Orchid?
Incidentally, Néa, I'm still bemused as to where your "anarcho-syndicalism" question came from?
[Phil] NO. (Audience loses a degree of interest.)
Anarcho-syndicalism -- it was the laughter at "monarchy" that put the idea into my head :-)
Native to Africa?
(If you like, you can assume I'll ask the other questions until I get a YES)
Good idea
[INJ] Africa? NO.
South America? NO.
Central America? NO.
Australia? NO.
Asia? YES.
(Needless to say, it was the last one you asked about. 'Tis ever so.)
Hyacinth?
Native only to Asia restricts things a bit.
[Néa] I'd never even heard of it myself, hence my utter bemusement.
Asian Almond (sterculia foetida)?
...which, by any other name, would smell as foul.
I meant Indian almond.
[Phil] NO (audience interest remains on same level as before). Re: an-synd -- that has been something of a running gag in this game, which made it a more obvious thing to guess. (Mr Néa is active in the Swedish anarcho syndicalists. I don't sympathise with them myself, though.)
[Projoy] NO (audience pricks up ears slightly)
There seems to be some confusion as to the Latin name of the Indian almond
Neither Sterculia Foetida (which I have down as Java olive) nor Terminalia Catappa is correct.
Is usually a particular colour?
[Inkspot] YES.
Jasmine?
Sakura Cherry blossoms?
Indian Lilac?
A member of the rhododendron genus?
[flerdle, irach, Dandalf, Irouléguy] NO. (The audience, having become a little restless, regains some order at flerdle's guess -- but quickly loses it again.)
noted for fragrance?
[INJ] NO.
Himalayan Poppy?
Peony?
Remember: Tropical
[INJ] NO.
[Inkspot] NO.
(There is a distinct lack of order among the audience.)
A bromeliad?
An orchid?
Saffron?
(sources disagree about its nativity)
Tea?
(curses - sources agree that it's not a flower, and that it's not tropical!)
Leptospermum?
[Inkspot] NO.
[Raak] Still NO.
[Projoy] NO.
[Irouléguy] Yes please! Black, no sugar. Oh, sorry. NO.
[Projoy] NO.
OK... I think Néa is giving us a hint with "order" in reference to flerdle's guess of Jasmine. The internets tell me that Jasmine is in the order Lamiales, and also tell me that there are about 11,000 species in this order. So -- now to take a leaf out of INJ's book...
Chinese violet?
(If you like, you can assume I'll ask the other 10,999 questions until I get a YES)
[CdM] NO. (The audience cheers when hearing the reasoning behind the guess.)
I'm sorry, I don't think I'll assume that :-)
Is the colour usually yellow?
[Inkspot] NO.
Clarification please...
You answered earlier that it is not edible. Is it actually poisonous, or just not usually eaten?
Is the colour usually red/pink?
An Iris?
Is its colour part of its name?
Is a country or area part of its name?
[CdM] The information I've found on the subject says "not poisonous".
[INJ] YES.
[Inkspot] NO.
[Raak] NO.
[Irouléguy] NO.
Is it grown here as a house rather than garden plant?
[Inkspot] YES.
Is it grown here as a house rather than garden plant?
Grown for foliage rather than flower?
Er...
I was assuming an omitted "plant" in Inkspot's question, whereas I'm assuming that CdM is just being silly (often a safe assumption to make!)
[INJ] NO -- at least, I wouldn't think so.
No, I was simply pointing out that "here" has many meanings in the morniverse. You haven't answered my question.
[CdM] I'm sorry, that was too subtle for me. In that case, NO.
Acanthus?
(Was gonna say Buddlea (sp?) but realised I have one out in the back garden, then realised that Acanthus is also grown outdoors in Europe and isn't native to Asia. I think I'd better retire from this round :) )
Is it carnivorous?
(BTW, while floundering about on google for possible answers, I came across this rather fetching description of an Asian houseplant: "Coral Berry - Ardisia Crenata, from southeast Asia. Very slow growing plant. Has shiny green leaves and very small pink or shite flowers followed by brilliant red berries.")
[Projoy] NO. (An elderly gentleman in the back row starts clapping, but his neighbour shushes him). Some Acanthus species are native to Asia, though -- Acanthus ilicifolius for instance.

Incidentally, I may need to make a clarification. When I say "garden plant" I mean something that actually grows in the garden and is outdoors all year round, rather than plants like olive trees for instance, which can be taken outside (in this here climate) in summer but must come in when the snow arrives.
[CdM] NO.
What You Know
You're looking for a plant of the order Lamiales, with (usually) red or pink flowers, which is native to a tropical part of Asia and doesn't grow very well in British (or Swedish) gardens. It will not eat your pets or children. It's not usually eaten but probably not poisonous, its colour or homeland cannot be divulged from its name -- oh, and it has a Wikipedia entry (since that's how I found it in the first place).
I think we also know that the colour is red/pink. Could it be the red-flowered Campsis grandiflora, the Trumpet Vine, of which I have an uncontrollable specimen in my garden (not UK!)? I believe it's of Asian origin.
Yes, I think you know that, too.
[Dandalf] NO.
The Bignoniaceae family?
[Irouléguy] NO.
coleus (solenostemon)?
Although it's better known for its leaves than its flowers, and is also from Africa. Worth mentioning and eliminating, though...
Strobilanthes?
I think we also know that it is probably readily available in European florists.
lipstick plant?
From the Lamiaceae family?
[flerdle] NO.
[Phil] NO.
[INJ] Those are not the words on the card. (audience goes wild!)
[Inkspot] NO.
Aeschynanthus radicans?
(assuming we're talking about the actual plant rather than the genus Aeschynanthus)
Aeschynanthus radicans?
INJ just beat me to this: (Really just to finish things off -- if this is correct, INJ gets the baton.)
That's the epiphyte!
[INJ, CdM] YES!! Well guessed, both of you -- but INJ was first. One lipstick-shaped baton for you, sir.
er, and if you want to know why I posted anyway after the simulpost, rather than just deleting my post, well, that's a really good question.
You can tell work's a bit slack - can't you?
[Néa] - Nice clue on Acanthus. You must know better florists than me - though I do admit to knowing the plant very vaguely.

Anyway, off we go again with ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections

A mythical animal?
[Raak] mythical - NO
Animal = human?
[INJ] Thank you - I was hoping somebody would get the clue! I didn't know the plant very well myself, but now I've read up on it rather a lot. Very educational game, this.
[Néa] human - YES
An activity of some kind?
A political movement?
[Néa] An activity - NO
[Raak] political movement? - NO
Is it found in all cultures?
A symbol?
[Néa] I skipped that plant due to mis-reading the colour :( Ah, well - well done INJ
To do with language?
[Phil] Happens to the best of us. (Obviously.)
[Iroul] found in all cultures? - NO (but be careful about your assumptions)
[Raak] symbol - NO
[Néa] To do with language? - NO (or only in a vague sense)
found in at least one non-European culture?
[Projoy] found in at least one non-European culture? - YES
A public position, in the broadest sense?
[Rosie] public position - NO (no matter how broadly drawn)
Related to an Asian culture?
If you like, you can assume I will ask all the related questions. :)
[Projoy] Related to an Asian culture? - NO not as such, but not unknown in much (most?) of Asia
African - see Asian
South American - see Asian
North American - YES
European - see N American (though some people might disagree)
The audience heckles this display of generosity
Related to entertainment?
[CdM] Related to entertainment? - YES (some applause)
Some form of music?
Now we're getting somewhere
[Iroul] Some form of music? - YES (further applause)
Jazz?
religious music?
Country?
[Phil/Projoy/Rosie] - NO
(to clarify my response to Irouléguy - I didn't take it to mean ' do the words on the card define a form of music?' - just 'is the area of entertainment some form of music?'
The name of a piece?
An organised group of people?
[PJ] name of a piece? - YES
[Raak] group of people? - NO
Was it around before 1900?
Does it have a known composer (or composers)?
Was it around before 1950
Actually, I'll take a guess... Fanfare for the Common Man?
[Inks & Projoy] Pre 1950 - NO
[CdM] known composer - YES
[Projoy] Fanfare for the Common Man? - NO
Is the compser also associated as the performer of the piece?
Inks composer = performer - NO not normally associated as such
Minor correction I think the '(though some people might disagree)' is misleading, so Related to a European Culture = YES
Pop music? (broadly understood as "the sort of stuff that young people like")
Is the animal connection something more than "written by a human"?
[Raak] Pop Music - YES and NO
[CdM] animal connection something more than "written by a human"? - YES (but not a lot)
Sorry, that was me, of course. And as an apology: the Yes & No is partly caused by the definition given.
Is a human referred to in the title?
Would most people here know the composer if they heard the piece?
Does the piece have lyrics?
(sorry for double question, but I thought of this question, which I like a lot better, only after I hit the "stand" button)
Homing in on it steadily
[Rosie] human referred to in the title? - NO
[CdM] Would most people here know the composer? - NO (though I think some would)
[CdM] lyrics - YES (some applause)
Written in the 1960s?
[CdM] 60s - YES
A stand-alone piece of music, or part of a larger work?
INJ] Thanks, that's what I meant (many moons ago)
folk music?
Rock Opera?
Is an orchestra involved in the perfornance of it?
[Iroul] A stand-alone piece of music, or part of a larger work? - YES (oh, all right - stand-alone)
[Projoy] folk - NO
[Dandalf] Rock Opera - NO
[Phil] orchestra involved - Frequently
Was it a hit in the UK?
[Iroul] UK hit - YES
Are the words on the card the title of a song?
(just checking assumptions here)
pop?
[Projoy] Pop? - As I said when this question was last asked, the problem is the definition of terms here. Popular = YES
Was it a hit for a popular beat combo?
Half Man Half Biscuit
[Inks] a hit for a popular beat combo? - NO (or for greater precision - 'YES, but not primarily')
Are you going to answer my question?
A theme tune?
[CdM] Are you going to answer my question? - YES
[Inks] Theme Tune - NO
[CdM] Are the words on the card the title of a song? - YES
A solo artist, then?
American composer and British singer?
I now have Dusty Springfield on a loop singing "I just don't know wat to do with myself" but then it is Friday.
[Projoy] Solo Artist? - YES (most famously)
[Inks] American composer? - NO
[Inks] British singer? - NO
Where appropriate the expression '(most famously)' should be considered as inserted.
British composer?
American singer?
[Projoy] British composer? - NO
[Dandalf] American Singer - YES (audience doesn't actually clap, but is definitely perking up)
European composer?
[Projoy] European composer? - YES
Do one or more colours feature in either the title or the words?
[Flerdle] colours? - NO (title nor words)
A French song rejigged by a Canadian?
(Most famously) a female singer?
Does a non-human animal feature in either words or title?
Strike that (animal=human). A (m. f.)male singer?
Is the composer Jaques Brel?
A Bob Dylan song?
[Inks] French Song - YES (many of the audience look bemused)
rejigged by Canadian - NO
[Iroul/Dandalf] - A male singer (m.f.)
[Inks] Jacques Brel - NO
[Raak] Zimmerman - NO
There's an unchallenged assumption in some of these questions - not yet crucial, but....
OOOOOPS
[Inks] SORRY the rejigged by Canadian was YES (and had I said so at the time there would have been a lot of applause
anything to do with a movie?
[Projoy] to do with a movie - NO - (I reckon Inkspot knows the answer)
Is it most famous for instrumental versions of it?
Perhaps I really meant "are the versions most commonly heard now instrumental versions".
My Way?
HUZZAH
We have a winner MY WAY it is (Originally 'Comme d'habitude', written by Claude François and Jacques Revaux, English language version by Paul Anka - who is of course, Canadian, as I really did know)
Passing the microphone to Inkspot
yay!
Thank you INJ, a bit tricky at the end there as I was torn between Sinatra and Scott Walker and goes back to the "Related to Asian ....Europe" reply.

Anyhoo into the weekend with MINERAL

Is it usually brown?
manufactured?
Congrats - The culture question was a bit tricky as I reckon it's known at least everywhere that knows of Sinatra or karaoke. The unchallenged assumption was the single 'composer'.
Metal?
[flerdle] Is it usually brown - No
[ImNotJohn] manufactured - No
[Dandalf] Metal - No (it is in such very low qunatities that a Yes could be misleading)
A physical geographical feature?
Essentially water?
[ImNotJohn] A physical geographical feature - No
[Rosie] Essentially water - No (a few chuckles from the audience)
solid?
An astronomical object?
To do with petrochemicals?
A geographical feature?
[ImNotJohn] solid - No
[Tuj] An astronomical object - Yes (loud applause from the audience)
[Raak] To do with petrochemicals - No
[Projoy] A geographical feature - No
(as the applause dies down, on or two mutter about solid but are shhhushed and elbowed)
A planet?
A comet?
[Raak] Not essentially water. Or are some comets made of something else?
[Projoy] A planet - No (some of the audience mutter and start to pay atttention)
[Raak] A comet - No
A meteorite?
A moon?
A star?
[Dandalf] A meteorite - No
[Néa] A moon - No (there is some uncalled for throwing of solid objects around)
[Phil] A star - Yes (There is an oooooohhhh as everyone settles down again)
The sun?
A well-known star?
[irach] The sun - YES it was our very own G2 star
[Raak] A well-known star - yes but...
irach well done over to you the throne is yours
Thanks... Here goes
This one is mostly ANIMAL with a little bit of MINERAL.
A woman in a chainmail bikini?
Is the animal part human?
A belt?
[Nea] I wish it were, but No
[Phil] No
[Tuj] No
A leather jacket?
[Rosie] No
Is the animal part alive?
Is the animal a mammal?
[Raak] No
[Nea]Yes. A mammalian source. (The audience stifles its collective yawn mid-yawn at this disclosure)
An item of clothing?
Is the animal part edible?
Is the finished item mass produced?
Some sort of dairy product?
A trumpet made from a yak femur with a metal mouthpiece?
Custard pie in a tin plate?
[Rosie] No.
[Phil} Yes. (the audience sits up, taking notice)
[Inkspot] Yes. In certain climes.
[Irouleguy] Yes! (The audience now cheers)[Raak] No femurs or any skeletal remains involved, nor any Tibetan bovine connection
[flerdle] No, unfortuntely.
Is the animal part ivory?
Egg?
Lassi?
[Danfdalf] No, not ivory, since it's edible... (see response to Phil above. I don't believe ivory is edible,in any culture, or even compatible with human digestion.)
[Projoy]No. (Not an egg, since it it comes from an aforementioned mammalian source. No, not even a platypus or echidna egg)
[Raak] No, but continue to think various ethnic (the audience nudges one another in anticipation as it holds its collective breath).
Yoghurt?
Is the mineral salt?
Raita?
Is the mineral part metal?
Blue Cheese?
[Irouleguy] No, not yoghurt.
[Raak] Yes. The mineral is indeed salt
Raita. No. Think a diffrent ethnicity from Lassi and raita, yet a moo-vable feast.
[Phil] No, but oh, so close- (The audience stomps its feet in apreciation)
Haloumi?
Feta?
French?
Italian?
Stilton?
Hm. Added salt - mozzarella?
[irach] Clearly you've never enjoyed "Oreilles d'elephant au gratin d'ivoire!" :)
The name of a specific cheese?
(I take the 'moo-vable feast' to mean that this ios a cows milk cheese)
Labneh?
Some sort of dressing?
[flerdle] Not haloumi
[Phil] Not feta
[INJ] Oui! The audience rises to its collective feet, kiss one another on both cheeks, and begin a raucous rendition of "Le Marseillase".
[Inkspot] No
[Projoy] No.
[INJ] Yes, name of a specific cheese.
[Irouleguy] Not labneh
[Projoy]Not a dressing.
[INJ] (Wikipedia confirms that it is a cow's milk product)
[Dandalf] While I have eaten fried alligator, and even braved a possum stew once, I have never had the opportunity of partaking of "Oreilles d'elephant au gratin d'ivoire". Do they serve it at L'Pergolese in Paris? Dined there last Wednesday, and it wasn't on the menu that day.
A soft cheese?
(brie/camembert type rather than say Tomme)
Munster?
[INJ] I am guessing not. The salt is probably a brine wash.
oops
[INJ] Sorry, I was wrong. Googling confirms that brie is salted as well. I didn't know that.
Roquefort?
[irach] Not at L'Pergolese, it is a speciality of the Cote d'Ivoire. No longer served in Paris because of CITES restrictions on the export of ivory. Sadly also being phased out in C d'I as source of main ingredients considered endangered, but is being replaced by col de giraffe tranché au Roquefort (q.v.)
[INJ] Yes! It was Brie. (While Brie doesn't have as high a salt content as Cheddar for example, it does have a moderate salt content, as CdM determined by his Googling).
[CdM] Not Munster
[Dandolf] Good guess, but Non
Take it away, ImNotJohn!
Useless trivia "R" us
Roquefort is a sheep's milk cheese...
Well, technically, I didn't actually guess it; still, here goes with MINERAL and VEGETABLE
The Stone Roses?
Edible?
A geographical feature?
[INJ] Not only did you not get it, we still don't even know what kind of brie we were talking about. Brie de Meaux? Brie de Melun? Brie de Nangis? Brie de Reactor?
A manufactured item?
[Phil] Stone Roses - NO
[Rosie] Edible - NO
[CdM] geographical feature? - NO (ish)
[Inks] A manufactured item? - YES (ish)
(depending on definitions of feature and item)
A building?
Is there just one of these?
Is the mineral salt?
[Chalky] building - YES (applause)
[CdM] Just one - YES
[Raak] Is the mineral salt? - NO
An ancient building?
In Asia?
[Kim] ancient - depends on definition, but I would say NO (and in one sense at least - NO)
[Tuj] Asia - NO
Europe?
Heehee
[Tuj] Asia - NO (keep going.........)
Sorry - that's Europe - NO
The Americas?
Keep going? If you insist!
[Tuj] Americas? - NO (You see, Néa was right)
Austrailia?
[Inks] Austrailia? - NO (nor is it Australia?;o))
Africa?
[Projoy] - Africa - YES - now are we going to go through the countries?
Sub-Saharan?
Let's narrow it down.
[Néa] Sub-Saharan? - NO (a little ripple of interest in the audience)
A public building?
[Inks] Public building - YES
The New Alexandria Library?
[Projoy] The New Alexandria Library? - NO
Built after 1900?
In Egypt?
A wooden building?
B & Q, Benghazi?
I don't think I'm going to get this one.
Famous for something?
The Sphinx? (As far as I know straw and reeds were used in its and the pyramids' construction l in addition to stone and mud).
[Inks] Built after 1900? - YES (and NO and YES)
[Tuj] Egypt? - NO
[Raak] A wooden building? - mostly NO, but partly
[Rosie] B & Q, Benghazi? - NO (it's a Focus in Benghazi)
[CdM] Famous for something? - not really sure what you mean - it is famous in its own right
[irach] Sphinx? - NO
In Morocco?
[CdM] Morocco - NO
Tunisia?
*sigh*
Is it in a former French colony?
Great Mosque of Djenné?
Maybe not strictly sub-Saharan, but...
Colonel Gadaffi's Tent?
The Knesset?
YAY!
And the winner is NÉA. It is the Great Mosque of Djenné, the largest mud building in the world, originally built in the 1240, knocked down definitively in 1897, rebuilt in 1907, but also partly rebuilt twice a year - hence my answer about post 1900.
I did hesitate about the 'sub-saharan' question but decided NO was the more informative answer.
(that's not just any old 1240, you understand)
Oooh!!
That's one of those places I've dreamt of seeing in the flesh some time. Or in the mud, rather.

The next one is ANIMAL.
Human?
First things first.
Living?
[Tuj] Human - YES.
[irach] Living - NO.
European?
Lived before Christ?
Male?
Involved in the arts?
Gutenberg?
Writer?
[ImNotJohn] European - YES.
[irach] BC - NO.
[Tuj] Male - YES.
[Raak] Arts? - NO. (There is a connection, but none of his own doing.)
[CdM] Gutenberg? - NO.
[Snodgrass] Writer? - NO.
A politician?
Connected to sports?
Swedish?
British?
A scientist?
[Inkspot] Politician - YES.
[Tuj] Sportsman - NO.
[Raak] Swede - NO.
[Tuj] Brit - NO.
[Rosie] Scientist - NO.
Born in the 18th century?
A former President of a country?
Connected with World War II?
[INJ] Born in the 1700s - NO.
[Inkspot] Former president - NO.
[Tuj] WW2 - NO.
German?
Born before 1850?
[Tuj] German - NO.
[Inkspot] Born before 1850 - YES.
Italiano?
[Projoy] Italian - NO.
ok then...
French?
I do pick obscure subjects, don't I...
[Tuj] Frenchman - NO.
Someone from ancient Greece?
[Inkspot] Ancient, Greece? - NO, and NO.
Born before 1700?
Now we're getting somewhere.
[ImNotJohn] NO.
Does the country he comes from have a Mediterranean coastline?
OK, so he is a European politician born between 1800 & 1850. He is not from Greece, France, Italy, UK, Sweden, Germany. He was not a president. Vague relationship to Arts, but not of his own making (maybe subject of painting or sculpture?).
Born in some part of Prussia which is not part of modern Germany?
[INJ] Mediterranean coastline - *checks map* NO.
At least one of those facts may be slightly misleading, but they are all quite correct.
[Let's assume the last bracketed clause was a question] Subject of painting or sculpture? - Well... NO. (Audience clap!)
[Proj] Prussia - NO.
A monarch?
[Projoy] Monarch - NO (some applause)
Would he have been a monarch, had not other events intervened?
Subject of a performance piece (play, etc)?
[Raak] Would have been - NO. (Audience looks sheepish at having conveyed wrong impression by clapping)
[CdM] Performance piece - NO -- and also (since I'm feeling generous) Subject - not as such, NO.
Jan Paderewski?
Does the country have a coastline?
[Rosie] Paderewski - NO.
[Inkspot] Coastline - Oh YES.
Russian?
An aristocrat or oligarch?
Portuguese?
[flerdle] YES!
[Projoy] Hmmm. NO and YES, in some senses of the term.
[Dandalf] Portuguese - nice guess, but NO.
Alexei Alexandrovich?
Rasputin?
No, can't be -- born 1869.
Prince Vladimir Odoevsky
[flerdle, Raak, Dandalf] NO to all three.
Mikhail Bakunin?
A Prime Minister?
say, Nikolai Golitsyn?
Trotsky?
Oops! Born 1879.
Or perhaps Boris Stürmer
Should I give you a hint?
[flerdle] Бакунин - NO.
[Projoy] Prime Minister - NO, Голицын - NO.
[Dandalf] Троцкий - NO.
[Проюй] Штюрмер - NO.
Grigori Alexandrovich Potyomkin (Potemkin)?
Oh bugger, I got the wrong century!
Was his poltical success in Russia?
or, political, even
Pyotr Valuev?
[Phil] Potemkin - NO.
[Projoy] Political success in Russia - NO! (audience applaud and cheer, but two dissenting groups can be heard arguing)
Was his political success in Greece, France, Italy, UK, Sweden or Germany?
ooops
[flerdle] Valuev - NO.
That wasn't the misleading part
[CdM] G,F,I,UK,S,G - NO.
Clarification
I could have responded to Projoy's question with a YES but that would have led you in the wrong direction, I think.
Karl Marx?
Wrong country
[Dandalf] Marx - NO.
aaaargh!
Mikhail Bakunin?
Did he have anything to do with (an organised) religion?
[Irouléguy] I already arksed that one.
[Irouléguy] Still no.
[flerdle] Religion? - NO.
Political success in USA?
[Dandalf] USA - NO. (See my clarification above).
Did he have a significant influence outside Russia?
Was he alive in 1905?
Did he live in exile from Russia?
[Raak] Influence outside Russian Empire - NO. [flerdle] Alive in 1905 - NO. (murmurs of "oooh, so close")
[Inkspot] Exiled - NO, anything but.
Murdered in Russia?
[Projoy] Murdered in the Russian Empire - YES! (Audience goes wild)
Dmitry Karakozov?
Not really a politician, was he?
[Projoy] Karakozov - NO.
(well, it was a poltical act, but I guess he doesn't count as an oligarch. :)
Served in an Imperial government?
[Projoy] In an Imperial government - YES!
Nikolai Ivanovich Bobrikov?
Sorry, rather hogging this game. That's my last question for a while.
Was he titled?
I mean a Count or some such title?
Bobrikov is also the name of a cat I know.
[Projoy] Major General Nikolai Ivanovich Bobrikov, much-loathed Governor-General of Finland - YES!!
[Inkspot] Titled - No, he wasn't as a matter of fact -- a soldier, not a nobleman.

That was more difficult than I'd expected it to be. The arts connection is via Ulysseus, which mentions the assassination of Bobrikov -- it happened on the day the novel takes place. Also, I think I committed a couple of mistakes by answering too literally sometimes and not sufficiently literally at other times. Feel free to issue edicts and threaten me with years of oppression. Baton goes to Projoy...
Oops. Well, I think I got that one more by carpet-bombing tactics than anything else. Still, here's a (hopefully less wikipedia-heavy) VEGETABLE. (Annoyingly, I thought of a really good one to set the other day, but can I bring it to mind now? Tch.)
wooden?
[Phil] Wooden - NO
Edible?
A textile?
[Dandalf] Edible - NO
[Raak] Textile - NO
(just as a totem against pedantry, I should probably mention there is probably a very small MINERAL element to this, but not in any way that need detain us here.)
Manufactured?
Cooked?
Néa, flerdle] oops, soory - though I had read all the moves.
Darn. I go out and the game runs away...
[Né] Manufactured - YES
[a] YES to your question also.
[Ig] Cooked? Um, NOT REALLY
cardboard box?
though that might be "wood"
[flerdle] Cardboard box? NO
colourful?
Would I normally have one in my house?
[Lib] Colourful - NO
[flerdle] would you have one in your house? NO, you wouldn't.
Carpet?
Haven't thought that through very far but may as well make a guess.
[Tuj] Carpet? NO.
Would I normally have one in my house?
A plant of some kind?
(Tuj) The implication of your guess is that flerdle's house doesn't have carpets. I await the storm. -:)
Is it heated as part of the manufacturing process?
[CdM] In your house? Hm. I DOUBT IT (although I couldn't actually say for certain in your case or flerdle's. Incidentally, I don't have one in my house either.)
[Rosie] A plant of some kind - YES (but that's nigh-on inevitable in this category)
[CdM] Heated in manufacture? YES! *applause*
Hm. At the risk of complicating things the more correct answer to the "would I have one in my house" question, for anyone who might ask it is strictly NO.
Is it edible?
[Rosie] Told you I didn't think it through... (sorry flerdle)
Some kind of tool?
[Tuj] That's already been asked, unfortunately. Incidentally, carpeting is a culture-bound phenomenon. Soft wall-to-wall carpets are unusual here, for instance.
[Tuj] edible, NO *there are some titters in the audience, as some new significance to this question dawns on them*
[Néa] tool, NO
* after a moment, one or two more titters from more lowbrow members of the audience *
Paper?
Sorry, that was a really stupid guess, and it was Blob who made me make it.
[Néa] Paper - NO :)
Is this an artifact manufactured for sexual purposes?
Is it smokable?
[whoever] Carpet in two rooms out of approximately 12. House was built by Italians, who seem to like ceramic tiles. I prefer no carpets; it's cleaner, or at least easier to clean.
[Raak] manufactured for sexual purposes, NO
[flerdle] smokable? YES! *applause*
A joint?
what I meant to say was mari.. maroug... argh... *googles* marijuana/pot/cannibis
Tobacco?
Cigarettes or joints would seem to involve paper (a cigar would not, though). However, tobacco would also explain the cryptic response to "would I have one in my house?" That said, it doesn't seem to explain the tittering response to "edible?" unless I am just insufficiently lowbrow to get it...
[CdM] You just need to hang out with the right people.
A cigar?
[CdM] Yeh, I bet you're so out of touch you have carpet in most of your rooms :P
[flerdle] A joint, NO
[CdM] tobacco, YES
[Tuj] A cigar, YES, but that's not the whole answer...
*applause for CdM, Tuj*
Cuban cigar?
... going for the bleedingly obvious, and probably wrong.

Apparently, in Illinois, it is illegal to offer a lit cigar to a pet.

Cigar-ette?
[flerdle] Cuban cigar, DON'T KNOW
[Tuj] Cigarette, NO
A cigarillo?
A particular cigar?
A Hamlet cigar?
(flerdle) Illinois very nearly passed a law in 1897 declaring that pi was de jure 3.2 exactly. Strange place.
A... err... cigar from the White House? *blushes*
[Rosie] Indeed. Apparently it is also illegal to take a french poodle to the opera (at least in Chicago).

Perhaps there is a game in that...

[Ig] Cigarillo, NO
[Tuj] particular cigar, YES *audience applaud, some start to sneak out to avoid the rush on the car park*
[Rosie] Hamlet, NO
[flerdle] Cigar from the White House? YES *thunderous applause, calls of encore etc.*
Specifically, the cigar that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky... erm... well, you know.... So over to flerdle.
(as you'll gather, my confusion over the "would I have one in my house" was because you could answer it as if it referred to cigars generically or this particular cigar. I started out with the former assumption).
ooerr
Ok, here we go...

ABSTRACT with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.

this game?
[Projoy] Heh. NO.
A genie in an oil lamp?
nice idea...
[Phil] NO.
A degree in woodland conservation?
An activity?
ahhhh
[Phil] NO.
[Néa] NO.
Necessarily involving humans?
Something from fiction?
the least misleading answers are...
(sorry, should recap for clarity)
[Projoy] This game -- NO
[Phil] A genie in an oil lamp/degree in woodland conservation -- NO.
[Néa] An activity -- NO.
[Rosie] Necessarily involving humans -- Depends what you mean. Probably YES (although it could be argued, from another angle, NO).
[Projoy] Something from fiction -- NO.
To do with mathematics?
Is the animal part just one species?
[Raak] To do with mathematics -- can be, but primarily NO.
[Irouléguy] Animal just one species -- YES in one way and NO otherwise (see answer to Rosie's question).
A process?
A long shot - Agriculture?
[Projoy]A process -- NO.
[Rosie] Agriculture -- NO.
Human evolution?
[Dandalf] human evolution -- NO.
a human construct?
thought you'd never ask
[Projoy] human construct -- YES? *audience wakes up and starts arguing*
Is it something that only humans construct?
To do with art?
[Irouléguy] something only humans construct -- YES would be the least misleading answer at the moment. *a small minority of the audience starts arguing again*
[Raak] to do with art -- can be, but primarily NO.
A settlement of some kind?
Is it an activity?
Sorry, already asked.
Is it group of people?
Is there a geographic connection?
[Rosie] a settlement -- (as in 'place where people live'?) NO
[Raak] a group of people -- NO, although there is a relationship between a group of people and the answer.
[Dandalf] Geographic connection -- NO, depending on what you mean by that. The answer is more common in some places than others, but it would be too misleading to answer 'yes'.
Anything to do with death?
[Rosie] to do with death -- NO.
To do with religion?
The environment?
[Raak] to do with religion -- NO

To clarify: Religion, or things to do with religion, can be related in a particular way to The Answer On The Card, but is The Answer to do with religion (or its things) more than to do with other things? NO. This is what I meant in my answer to "to do with art" and "to do with mathematics". Keep going, though.

[Dandalf] is it the environment? -- NO.

Is this an emotion?
[Chalky] an emotion -- NO.
Is it a hobby or pastime?
[Chalky] a hobby or pastime -- NO.
Is a human element required?
If it's not something you can do, is it something you can be?
Science?
[Inkspot] a human element required -- fundamentally YES
[Projoy] if it's not something you can do, is it something you can be -- NO... *audience wakes up and makes encouraging murmurs*
[Dandalf] Science -- NO.
Thought?
[Raak] Thought -- NO... thought is more closely related to this than most of the previous answers, but it's still a fair way off.
Two further clarifications: I have come across this in a work of fiction, but it is not really from fiction. And some people may involve this in a hobby or pastime, but I wouldn't classify the words on the card as a hobby or pastime. I'm not being intentionally vague, honest...
Is this something spiritual?
[Tuj] something spiritual -- NO
A family?
(beats me what the mineral connection would be, in that case, but since we're floundering, it's probably worth a shot or two in the dark!)
[Projoy] a family -- NO.
Wanna hint?
It's definitely not something you do?
(i.e. one does)
[Projoy] It is definitely not something one does, in the way that one does not "do" a door, or one does not "knitting" or "biology textbook". The answer is still abstract, however.
Ethics?
Would this be considered a skill?
Looking at it, knitting, even if in the sense of a noun, is not a great example. Apologies if I've been too pedantic. I hope you get the idea.
[Tuj] Ethics - NO
[Chalky] a skill - NO, although a measure of skill is certainly related to its existance.
(a measure of = an amount of some kind of)
Is it something the brain can do?
Is the vegetable a plant?
Is this anything to do with being funny/having a sense of humour?
Is the mineral water?
[Tuj] something the brain can do -- NOt strictly, although activity of the brain is usually required. *a smattering of claps from the audience*
[Inkspot] is the vegetable a plant -- NO would be least misleading.
[Chalky] to with being funny/a sense of humour -- NO. Hmmm, there is a humour component in the work of fiction I mentioned earlier. But in the main, NO.
[Irouléguy] is the mineral water -- NO would be most helpful here.
hoookay...
To summarise:

This abstract with animal, vegetable and mineral connections is more common in some places than others but is not primarily connected to geography. It involves a human element in some way, more specifically some activity of the brain and even more specifically thought, but is not actually any of these. There is some relationship with a group of people. Only humans construct it (although this may be debated).

Religion, mathematics, art, and non-human animals can have something to do with it but only in a certain sense, and it can be found in at least one fictional work (but not only there) and some people may involve it in a hobby or pastime. It is not in itself an action, process or activity but a certain amount of skill is related to its existance.

It is not: this game, a genie, a degree in woodland conservation, from fiction, an activity, a process, agriculture, evolution, a settlement, the environment, an emotion, a hobby, something you can do or be, science, thought, something spiritual, a family (or group of people), ethics, a skill, a plant, water, to do with death or to do with humour.

I could also say that it should probably be considered to have abstract connections as well, but although strictly accurate, that may not be helpful. I think this summary should be very helpful indeed.

Is it something to do with the visual sense?
more questions, less explanation!
[CdM] something to do with the visual sense -- YES and NO. *several "ooooh"s from the audience, quickly shushed*
Something to do with imagination?
[Raak] something to do with imagination -- NO (except where in agreement with details in paragraph 2, above ("Religion, mathematics...")).

Oh, and apologies for spelling "existence" wrong. Oops.

Something to do with hearing, taste, touch, or smell?
[CdM] to do with hearing, taste, touch or smell -- NO.
Does it have an entry in wikipedia?
Is the answer more than one word [apart from the in/definite article]?
[Phil] Does it have an entry in wikipedia -- NO... *audience starts to take more notice*
[Chalky] more than one word -- YES!
Is it a concept?
[Phil] a concept? YES and NO. *more oooooohs*
Do all of these "YES and NO" answers reflect distinct different meanings of the words on the card?
To do with money?
I think I've chosen a stupid topic.
[CdM] NO. If I understand your meaning correctly, then the words on the card are together a whole entity, and I am not looking at each word in isolation, and the answer does not have two different meanings (so, for example, it is not like the expression "knock off").

The yesnoyesno is because

    (a) there are the properties of the thing on the card -- the "thing" that the words on the card are about, and the way(s) in which it can exist.

    (b) there are things to which the answer/words on the card can be to do with, because of the nature of the answer/words on the card. Thus I have problems saying "no" to "to do with xyz" because yes, it can have something to do with xyz.


To say much more without other questions to answer would be to give it away completely.

[Projoy] to do with money -- NO. (I am giving up on the broader meaning of "to do with" from here on, since it's causing too much trouble.)

How about some good old questions like many of the ones from the first topic in this game, which was also an abstract? Start with "did it exist in ...".

Was this an invention?
Is this some type of human relationship?
OK, did it exist in 1800?
(actually, slight rephrase: "Did it exist by 1800)
[Tuj] an invention -- YES if you mean something made up by people
[Irouléguy] a type of human relationship -- NO
[Projoy] did it exist by 1800 -- YES!
Did it exist by 1000?
[CdM] did it exist by 1000 -- YES
did it exist almost since the dawn of mankind?
[irach] did it exist almost since the dawn of mankind -- NO!
Did it exist by 1CE?
(at least we can get into the right millennium)
Is it a social system?
*feels very old* I had to look up "CE".
To do with language?
[Projoy] Did it exist by 1CE -- YES. One place definitely had examples of this before 1CE, and another had examples of it by 20CE but I can't be more exact than that.
[Tuj] a social system -- NO.
[Raak] To do with language -- YES! *audience bursts into loud and sustained applause*
to do with codes/cyphers?
Did it first appear in the Middle East?
[Phil] to do with codes/cyphers -- NO
[Projoy] first appear in the Middle East -- NO
To do with one particular language?
[Raak] to do with one particular language -- NO.
Is it to do with an aspect of written language?
Is it to do with an aspect of spoken language?
A book or books?
[Juxtapose] to do with an aspect of written language -- YES *audience claps enthusiastically*
[Tuj] to do with an aspect of spoken language -- YES *clapping subsides somewhat*
[Phil] A book or books -- NO *gasps and oooohs from the audience*
law?
[Phil] law -- NO *audience start arguing*
+s
something to do with instructions?
[Phil] something to do with instructions -- YES but not only or always so. *more gasps and oooohs*
Cookery books?
[Raak] cookery books -- NO
Rules?
Card games?
[Projoy] Rules -- NO.
[Raak] Card games -- NO.
In a particular script/alphabet?
The invention of the bound codex, superceding scrolls?
Language schools?
Some sort of command?
[Projoy] in a particular script/alphabet -- NO
[Raak] the invention of the bound codex -- NO
[Dandalf] language schools - NO *someone starts clapping, but is quickly hushed*
[Tuj] some sort of command -- NO.
Grammar?
Connected to translation?
[Rosie] Grammar -- NO *a few claps from more excitable members of the audience*
[CdM] connected to translation -- often YES but not necessarily *cheering starts*
Dictionaries?
It is the lack of wikipedia entry that still has me stumped...
[Raak] dictionaries -- NO! *audience cheers loudly with enthusiastic applause*
[CdM] not everything in the wikipedia has its own entry.
A chrestomathy?
wait a moment while I look that up...
[Raak] a chrestomathy -- NO. (it's in wikipedia, anyway).
Anything to do with books?
[Tuj] Anything to do with books -- YES, some.
Back in a few hours... do carry on.
Diaglossia?
Some sort of system of translation?
(except that would be a process, I guess)
A verse form?
Spelling tests?
A public library?
Something to do with the word "version"?
Printing?
bucket-o-hints
[Raak] diaglossia -- NO (had to check that one too)
[Projoy] some sort of system of translation -- NO, but it can be very useful in this.
[Projoy] a verse form -- NO.
[Phil] spelling tests -- NO, but spelling is an issue.
[Dandalf] a public library -- NO, but it can often be found there.
[Tuj] something to do with the word "version" -- NO, but it often has different versions.
[Irouléguy] printing -- NO, but it is most often printed.
Transliteration?
(except I guess there must be examples of that way into the BCE dates).
(and it's an activity and a process, curses!)
A testimony?
...which isn't right but I'm hoping I might guess something which could point us the right way. Not likely, eh?
Roadsigns?
By, which I of course mean "signage" in general, since you can find it in libraries...
[Projoy] Transliteration -- NO, but transliteration is sometimes involved.
[Tuj] A testimony -- NO.
[Projoy] roadsigns/signage -- NO.
Taking notes?
A text book?
[Tuj] Taking notes -- NO.
[Phil] A text book -- NO.
Begins with a P?
Pheww
[Tuj] Begins with a P -- many of them do. But the answer doesn't. So I have to say NO.
Mmmhwwhhwa? I think I give up.

at least for now.
A group of words?
who am i kidding
[Tuj] A group of words -- *audience gasps* YES it is but that's not The Answer, so NO.
A particular class of word such as noun, verb etc.?
[Projoy] a particular class of word -- *audience gasps again* NO!
Something to do with an encyclopedia?
[CdM] something to do with an encyclopedia -- NO...
Home stretch?
OK, this is getting very long, so here's another summary where the other one left off.

The answer has to do with language, more so written than spoken.
Two places definitely had examples of it before 20CE.
It is an invention, in that it is something made up by people. It is not just a concept.
It has something to do with instructions (although perhaps not directly as much as I first thought).
It is often but not necessarily connected to translation and can be very useful in this.
It has something to do with a book or books.
It can often be found in a public library.
It is most often printed.
It often has different versions.
Spelling is an issue.
Transliteration is sometimes involved.
It is a group of words (kind of) but not a particular class of word.
Many instances of the answer start with the letter P.

It is not "a dictionary" and is not "something to do with an encyclopedia". It did not first appear in the Middle East and is not to do with one particular language.

The audience or some of the audience were impressed when the law, grammar or language schools were mentioned, although it is none of these things.

Oh, and the answer has more than one word (plus an indefinite article), not starting with the letter "P", and it does not have its own wikipedia entry.

An Index?
Forget that; it has a wikipedia entry...
And it is only one word. On the bright side, it doesn't begin with the letter P.
a particular way of organising a group of words?
(it's not a concordance either, as that's in Wikipedia, too)
:-)
[CdM] an index -- NO
Don't think of an elephant!!
I now keep wanting to say anything beginning with P, such as paragraph, page and punctuation.
[Projoy] a particular way of organising words -- NO.
[Projoy] *ROFL*
Is there a typical number of words in this group (or can it vary wildly from a few words to hundreds)?
I know it's not my go, but....
It's not a particular type of morpheme, is it?
Is it an elephant? If not, does its physical manifestation (as a group of words) typically occur only in a particular type (or types) of book?
had to look that one up too.
[Projoy] a particular form of morpheme -- NO
old-world charm...
[CdM] an elephant - that is not the answer.
[CdM] YES! *wild cheering*. the physical manifestation of elephant as a group of words typically only occurs in a particular type of book. I think.
[Projoy] I meant a particular type of morpheme (still NO) Blame too many simulposts.
many apologies
[CdM] and I meant the physical manifestation of The Answer (as a group of words) typically only occurs in a particular type (or types) of books -- YES but, note, The Answer can also occur elsewhere.

(I mis-read "it" amongst the flurry of posting; you can have elephants in lots of books, of course, as well as elsewhere.)

woohoo, quintuple post
Of course, my mistake illustrates my difficulty with aspects of this topic all along. Note to self: don't win again.
[flerdle] Hey, I said don't think of an elephant! :)
PS. Is there a typical number of words in this group (or can it vary wildly from a few words to hundreds)?
[Projoy, elephants] AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH

[Projoy] sorry, that got lost in the flurry of posts and a random backspace. NO. The number of words can vary wildly depending on where The Answer is found and The Answer itself. A random sampling just now gave the number of words as 24, 10, 65, 30 and 352.

Did you perform that random sampling with books that you had to hand?
Can I just say that this AVMA is (a) very good and (ii) very annoying?
[CdM] Did I perform that random sampling with books that I had to hand -- I would answer NO if I was to be evil because I used only one book. YES otherwise.
Is it a subclause (which often appears parenthetically)?
(I know it isn't really, since that appears in all kinds of books, but you have to get this stuff out of your head sometimes)
Wait a second... footnotes?
please excuse my badly mangled second-last sentence up there...
[Projoy] a subclause -- NO :-)
[Projoy] footnotes -- NO.
[Projoy] I have gone through footnotes and other similar ideas in my head, but then I get stuck on the fact that there are also very early instances of the elephant.
Is it some kind of definition or explanation?
[CdM] some kind of definition or explanation -- YES! *audience cheers enthusiastically*
a citation or quotation?
Scrub that, is it a definition in law, i.e. appearing in a contract or piece of legislation?
A dictionary definition?
[Projoy] citation/quotation -- NO, but it can be a very important part of some elephants
[Projoy] a definition in law/contract/legislation -- NO... *audience holds its collective breath*
[Phil] a dictionary definition -- CLOSE ENOUGH!
So, what were the words on the card?
The words on the card are actually "a dictionary entry". You can check the history of the dictionary in the wikipedia. Everything else can be seen above. *audience claps for everyone, especially CdM and Raak, with special cheers for Projoy's perseverence*

*retires*

I suddenly spotted the quotes in It is not "a dictionary" and realised there must be some significance.
Dunno how to follow that epic, but I'll try.

Vegetable

A dictionary?
Blimey, what a struggle!
A drink?
A live plant?
In hindsight, another clue(whether intentional or not)was the answer "not everything in the wikipedia has its own entry" right after the answer to Raak's guess "dictionaries". That was a very good AVMA. Nice one, Flerdle.
[Tuj] Dictionary? Not this time, matey :-)
[Inkspot] A drink? No, although I could do with one.
[Dandalf] A live plant? YES
A tree?
(On the last one I got totally sidetracked by the letter-P-elephant. I assumed there was something special about P.)
Native to a particular country?
Edible?
Typically sold at the local garden centre?
[Projoy] Tree? No
[Dandalf] Edible? YES
[Raak] Typically sold at local garden centre? No
A fungus?
[Projoy] That'd be my fault then :(
A bush?
[Tuj] Fungus? No
[Projoy] Bush? No
A berry?
Coughs politely
A root vegetable?
Does it grow in the wild?
nettle?
[Dandalf] Definitely intentional. [Projoy] many apologies.
A brassica?
flerdle] Do win again - that was one of the best for a long time.
A fruit ?(In the culinary not botanical sense)
Sweet, rather than savoury?
[Tuj, flerdle] No apols necessary. The whole fun of the game is trying to avoid being taken for a ride by your assumptions, and all the questions asked and answers given were completely correct.
Green in colour?
Typically found in the vegetables section of a British supermarket?
[Inkspot] Berry? No
[Rosie] Root vegetable? YES
[Chalky] grow in the wild? No, not as far as I know.
[flerdle] nettle? No
[Irouléguy] Brassica? No
[Dandalf] Fruit? No
[Projoy] Sweet, not savoury? Ummm, no. ( Some hushed comments amongst audience members)
[Tuj] Green? Partly
[Raak] Typically in UK supermarket? No
Carrot?
Yam?
(as opposed to sweet potatoes, which I think are to be found in British supermarkets these days. Aren't they?)
[\tuj] Carrot? No
[CdM] Yam? No (Yes, sweet potatoes are generally to be found in British supermarkets these days)
Chives?
Native to a particular country?
Just ask this one again as it has been over looked
Cassava? which unlike chives is a root vegetable ; -)
[Rosie] Chives? No
[Inkspot] Native to a particular country? (Sorry, didn't spot that earlier) No, as it does not grow in the wild, as far as I know.
[Dandalf] Cassava? No
Taro?
In order to get the last of the obvious ones out of the way.
[CdM] Taro? No - and if that's obvious, I'd hate to see obscure ;-)
Arrowroot?
Jerusalem artichoke?
Don't all cultivated plants have a wild form? Unless only the cultivars have survived and the original wild form is now extinct.
[flerdle] Arrowroot? No
[Dandalf] Jerusalem Artichoke? No - Yes, I presume all cultivated plants do derive from a wild form, but not all specific plants can be found in the wild.
A spice?
[Inkspot] Spice? No
A tuber?
[Inkspot] A tuber? No
A particular plant (rather than a vegetable/plant type)?
[flerdle] A particular plant? YES
Is it grown for human consumption?
[Inkspot] Grown for human consumption? YES - A ripple of applause from the slighly somnolent audience
sugar beet?
[flerdle] Sugar beet? No
Tea?
[Chalky] Tea? No
A swede?
Possibly not called Sven.
Is it grown in the Americas?
Is it typically processed (other than simply by cooking) before being eaten?
[Rosie] Swede? No
[Raak] Grown in the Americas? YES
[CdM] Typically processed before eating (other than cooking)? No, unless you count something like slicing as processing.
Time for a Summary
It is:
A specific, live, edible root vegetable, which is not (to my knowledge) found growing in the wild, and is not native to a particular country. It is grown in the Americas, and is grown for human consumption. It is partly green.

It is not:
A dictionary or a drink. Nor is it a tree, bush, fungus, berry, tuber, fruit, spice, tea, cassava, brassica, nettle, carrot, yam, chives, taro, arrowroot, jerusalem artichoke, spice, sugar beet or swede. It is not typically processed before eating (other than cooking or, say, slicing), and is not typically found in British supermarkets or local garden centres.

Peanuts, or if more "specific" is required Jimmy Carter's peanuts.
[Dandalf] Jimmy Carter's peanuts, or anyone else's for that matter? No
To clarify how specific I meant, the answer is something like "Savoy Cabbage", rather than "Cabbage" (to use a brassica-based example, which we know it isn't).
Is it medicinal?
[Inkspot] Is it medicinal? There are claims to its medicinal properties, so I think I'll have to say YES - Appreciative applause again for Inskspot
Well then ... is it typically consumed primarily for its medicainal properties?
[CdM] Typically consumed for medicinal purposes? No
Jicama?
It seems to me that it has to be more obscure than taro...
[CdM] Jicama? No - there is at least one non-obscure family of root vegetable plants that has not been mentioned at all.
Well, there are bulbs -- garlic, etc. -- but it seems to me that all the non-obscure ones would also be in U.K. supermarkets. So I am very confused...
daikon radish?
[flerdle] daikon radish? No - Audience gets rather agitated at CdM's musings.
Lotus roots?
Vidalia Onion?
[Raak] Lotus roots? No
[CdM] Vidalia Onion? No Disappointed mumblings from audience
Some kind of Allium?
[Néa] Some kind of Allium? YES - Cheers from the audience
Ramps?
[Raak] Ramps? No The audience leans forward in anticipation
Elephant Garlic?
Vidalia?
Is it known by different names in different countries (eg UK/USA)?
[Projoy] Elephant Garlic? YES Tumultuous applause
[Dandalf and flerdle] See above.
What with everyone not thinking about elephants for a day or two, and 30 seconds of Chris Beardshaw at a garlic farm that I saw on TV last week, it seemed the obvious option.
Well, whaddya know? I spend hours on flerdle's one patiently exploring every angle, and about 10 minutes making a random guess on this one, and win...

Anyway, here's an ANIMAL/ABSTRACT...
One word answer?
Human animal?
Does it begin with elephant?
Wildebeest migration?
[Tuj] One word answer, NO
[Dandalf] human? NO
[CdM] elephants involved in any form? NO
[flerdle] Herds of Wildebeeste sweeping majestically...? NO
Mammalian animal?
[Dandalf] Mammal? YES
A feline?
You didn't tee a puddy tat
[Tuj] feline? NO
On further consideration, the best answer to the Human Animal question is YES and NO.
Homo florensis hobbitus?
Fictional?
[Raak] Hobbitses? NO, we hates hobbitses
[Tuj] Fictional? YES
A specific fictional character?
Vampire?
[Tuj] specific fictional character - YES
[Ig] vampire? NO
From a book?
[Tuj] From a book, YEEES *notable lack of applause from audience*
Has it appeared in other media other than books?
[Ink] Other media? YES
Begins with a P?
Different tack ;)
Mr Spock?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? NO
[Phil] Mr Spock? ILLOGICAL! er, I mean NO
Cartoon character?
Captain Haddock?
Extra-terrestrial?
[Dandalf] Cartoon character... least misleading is NO
[CdM] Capn. Haddock? NO
[Tuj] Extra-terrestrial? NO
PS. I'm not especially well today, so I may end up disappearing for sleeps.
A computer-animated character?
Is the other media that of film?
Get well soon Projoy!
[Raak] Computer animated, NO
[Tuj] Film? NO
Television?
A primate? (in zoological rather than religious sense!)
Does the character originate in oral story-telling?
[Tuj] TV? NO
[Dandalf] Primate? YES AND NO (see human above)
[Raak] Oral story telling? FUNDAMENTALLY NO
Comic Books?
[CdM] Comix? NO
Radio?
Male?
[Néa] Radio? NO
[Tuj] Male? YES!
A horse?
A horse, NO *an undercurrent of "oooh!" from the audience*
Does it appear in a song?
Someone who is known for riding a horse?
"An undercurrent of oooh", lovely.
A centaur?
Is it a talking character rather than an animal?
What I mean is Wind in the Willows and Watership Down have talking characters while Tarka the Otter is an animal (hopefully that made sense).
[Rosie] In a song? NO
[Tuj] Horse Rider? NO
[Raak] Centaur, NO
[Ink] Talking character, YES!
Donkey?
Balaam's donkey?
[Né] Donkey, NO *an encouraging burst of applause from the audience (and the sounds of some members animatedly disputing the answer)*
[Raak] Balaam's D? NO
* a kind audience member comes to the front and drops the "a" back into Néa's name.*
Incidentally, these answers about media types are coming up as NO because that's the least misleading answer. In fact this character has almost certainly appeared (but not originated) in all of the above mentioned.
Muffin the Mule?
[Phil] Muffin, NO
A quick summary:
This ANIMAL/ABSTRACT is both human and not. There is a donkey connection. It is a specific male mammalian fictional character that talks. It has almost certainly appeared in, but was not originated in, the following media: TV, cartoons, song, radio, comics, computer animation, oral storytelling, books.
It is not a hobbit, a vampire, a centaur, Mr Spock or Balaam's Donkey.
Bottom?
*cheers*
[Raak] And the same to you! YES. The words on the card are "Nick Bottom, the weaver, while possessed of the head of an ass". Technically, or so I understand, asses and donkeys are not quite the same thing (the latter being the domesticated variety).
[Projoy] As it happens, I've just been reading a book on biological nomenclature and popular imagination in 18th and 19th century Britain, which I must post of elsewhere.
The next item is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and possibly also ANIMAL.
Does it occur naturally?
[Projoy] Does not occur naturally.
Bigger than an armchair?
An item of furniture?
[Tuj] Not bigger than an armchair.
[I] Not furniture
An item of clothing?
Electronic?
Defined by its function?
[Rosie] Not clothing.
[Tuj] Not electronic.
[Projoy] Not defined by its function.
Does it have a function?
[Projoy] Yes, it has a function.
Metallic?
Is the vegetable part processed like rubber or natural wood?
Is it something that can be made of different materials?
[Tuj] Not usually.
[Inkspot] On the whole, I would say no.
[Projoy] The mineral part can be.
Smaller than a toaster?
[Projoy] Smaller than a toaster.
Smaller than a pack of cards
Did it (or they) exist in 1938?
Even I didn't
[Projoy] Bigger than a pack of cards.
[Rosie] Existed in 1938.
Would it be found in the home?
Existed by 1900?
Stationery?
Is it a single unique item?
Anything to do with writing?
[Chalky] Yes, found in the home.
[Projoy] Yes, existed by 1900.
[Tuj] Not stationery.
[Inkspot] Not unique.
[Rosie] Nothing to do with writing.
Existed by 1800?
[Projoy] Yes, by 1800.
Is it generic item?
I would say a generic item (if that's the right term) is something like the wheel, a cup or a crown rather than an attributable invention?
[Inkspot] Yes, a generic item.
Does it have moving parts?
A container of some kind?
Spectacles?
[Projoy] No moving parts.
[Rosie] YES, partly.(Applause!)
[Chalky] Not spectacles.
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] (laughter from the audience at the double entendre) Does not begin with a pee.
Not a toliet is it?
Cuh!
[Tuj] Neither a toliet nor a toilet.
A handbag?
It is I, Rosie.
Usually made of plastic?
Was about to guess "pencil case", then looked at my last-but-one question.
[Rosie in drag] A HANDBAG???? No.
[Tuj] Can be plastic.
Saturday is the last day to get this, as I'm off for a week in the south of France Sunday morning.
Is there a food connection?
Is the mineral part glass?
Back in normal clothing.
[Projoy] Yes, a food connection.
[Rosie] (A sharp intake of breath) Not among civilised people. One has heard that they may do such things on the Continent.
Is the mineral china?
A gravy boat?
An appropriately snooty term.
[Inkspot] YES! (Almost always.)
[Rosie] No.
A cup of tea?
Oops - possibly also animal! (beef tea perhaps?)
A saucer?
[Tuj] A saucer is part of it.
[Dandalf] YES: a cup of tea. Actually, the words on the card are "a nice cup of tea", but that's close enough. (The possible animal part is the milk.)
Oh! just found out I'd won as I was away for weekend. (Kicks himself re milk, but no use crying etc.). Next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Begins with a P?
Hah!
Three-ring circus?
Is the animal human?
Human construct?
[Tuj]- P....? NO
[flerdle]- 0-0-0 circus? NO
[Rosie]- Human? Both human and non-human.
[CdM] HC? hmmmmm...I think YES.
Is it an action?
To do with the body?
[Inkspot]Not an action, but implies activity.
[Projoy]Only remotely to do with the body.
A condition?
A thought process?
Small pox?
[Projoy] Condition? Could be.
[Rosie] Thought Process? NO.
[Lib] Smallpox? Not a pox, whatever the size.
To do with emotion?
A person?
[Projoy] Emotion? NO
[Tuj]A person? NO
Bird flu?
Horse racing?
50-1
Any religious connection?
A bodily function?
Does it require human involvement?
Could someone define "human construct" please, I find these the marmite on toast of the game.
[Inkspot] Quick definition off the top of my head: something that could not exist without a conscious human mind. Others can now refine it: think of this as a wikidefinition.
[Lib] bird flu? NO
[Rosie]Horse Racing? NO (but audience breaks into applause)
[Tuj] NO religious connection
[INJ] Bodily function? NO
[Inkspot]Human involvement? YES
Is the word "horse" in the answer?
Is it a sporting activity?
Hunting?
[Tuj] No horse.
[Kim] Not a sporting activity, though one of the words on the card could be related to sports.
[Rosie] Not hunting.
Is the word 'race' on the card?
[CdM] YES (tumultous applause! Some murmuring that Dandalf gave the game away.)
A Caucus Race?
A one-man race?
Three legged race?
(The) Rat Race?
The human race?
A game face?
[Rosie] The Rat Race YES Well done! [Others} See above.
Right. Earwig-o. An easy one. Nothing whatever to do with the World Cup, or trombones, or steam engines, but nevertheless MINERAL
Non-metal?
(Dandalf) Sometimes non-metallic - not usually.
Begins with P?
A household object?
wahay - a Rosie one! Is it manufactured?
(Tuj) Does not begin with a P
(irach) Found in all households, I'd say
(Chalky) Manufactured - yes.
Does it require electric power?
Found primarily in the kitchen?
(Inkspot) Does not require electric power. *some audience amusement is discernible*
(Tuj) Not usually in the kitchen.
Does "all households" include those in mid- and/or low-income countries?
Is it found usually in the bathroom?
Larger than a toaster?
A mirror?
(CdM) "Households" really means those of the Western world.
(Kim) Unlikely in the bathroom, but possible.
(Dandalf) Larger than a toaster? Certainly in one dimension.
(Tuj) Not a mirror.
Is part of it made from glass?
(Inkspot) Contains no glass.
A piece of cutlery?
(irach) Not cutlery.
Functional (as opposed to primarily decorative)?
Longer than 1 metre?
To do with draperies?
(CdM) Very functional
(Dandalf) Not longer than 1 metre
(irach) Drapery-related? Yes. *considerable applause*
Towel-rail?
Curtain rod?
(Dandalf) Not a towel rail
(irach) Not a curtain rod. I have misled you with the previous answer. It's correct by a strict dictionary definition but misleading. So substitute "Not really". The audience are also dictionary pedants. Ignore them - at least this time.
Coat-hanger?
A COAT HANGER it is! How boring! That was too easy. Next time it will be something to do with steam engines, and not just any bloody steam engine, either. I jest, of course. Well done Dandalf, and over to you.
Well, well! Looks like its time for a hard nut to crack. Try this one - ANIMAL.
Human?
European?
alive?
Anything whatsoever to do with that Fußball Weltmeisterschaft caper?
Human? NO
European? NO
Alive? YES
WC caper connection? NO
Just realised I'll be away until Monday, so if you don't want to wait,we can suspend this and someone can start another in the meantime. Apologies
I'm back and in a position to respond!
A single specific animal?
A mamal?
[INJ] YES [Inkspot] NO
Or rather:
[INJ] YES
[Inkspot] NO
A reptile?
African?
In the news recently?
[Raak]Repile? NO
[Inkspot] African? YES but not exclusively.
[Rosie] In the news recently? Not that I know of.
A migratory bird?
Domesticated?
Dead?
An unladen African swallow?
(since you mentioned hard nuts to crack)
[Inkspot] Not a bird.
[Tuj] Not domesticated.
[Projoy] See above. Don't read anything into my nutty comment.
A fish?
[irach] A fish? YES. Applause, (a few murmurs of nothing much more left was there?)
Saltwater fish?
[irach]saltwater? YES
Shark?
*ahem* *indicates an unanswered question above*
Is a single specific animal someting like the horse called Orca or a specific species eg the lesser spotted Orca?
[irach] NOT a shark
[Raak] Oops. Sorry. Can be dead or alive.
[Inkspot] Not e.g. a fish called Wanda, not a spcific species but a particular genus.
A coelocanth?
Err...
Sorry, I'm a little confused. Is the answer a specific individual animal, per your answer to INJ, above, or a genus of animal? Isn't genus an abstract?
Fished for food?
[INJ] YES!!! Wow. Well done. Coelacanth (or coelocanth) Genus Latimeria which contains two species: the African L. chalumnae and L. menadoensis from Indonesia. Hope that clears up Kim's confusion. [Raak] The coelacanths is not considered a prime food fish but finds its way to fishmarkets, which is where the Indonesian species was discovered. (Thanks Wikipedia)
Well, what do you know?
I don't usually guess that early.

Here we go then, with ABSTRACT with animal connections

A character from a book?
The World Cup?
A particular species or genus of animal?
A living fossil?
[Inks] character from a book? - NO
[Iroul] World Cup? - NO
[Kim] particular species or genus of animal? - NO (but not every species)
[Dandalf] living fossil? - NO
Some subclass of the animal kingdom?
[Raak] Some subclass of the animal kingdom? - NO
Is the animal connection primate?
Is it related to time?
[irach] animal connection primate? - could be
[Inks] related to time? - YES (to some extent) small ripple of applause
To do with the Flood?
Chinese Calendar?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
I only put this up because the words appear in a letter in today's Grauniad relating to the Spanish Civil War and I know the subject fascinates you.
Anarcho-syndicalism, that is.
sorry - wall-to-wall meetings today
[Raak] the flood - NO
[Dandalf] Chinese Calendar? - NO
[Rosie] Anarcho-syndicalism? - NO (nor the Spanish Civil War FWIW)
An event?
[Inks] an event - NO (not a single event, which is my assumption of what you mean)
Evolution?
re - meetings. Thank You For Not Saying Back-To-Back.
Anything to do with huntin' and fishin'?
Are the animals all from one particular area of the world?
[Rosie] evolution - NO
[Dandalf] huntin' and fishin'? - NO (nor shootin')
[Iroul] Are the animals all from one particular area of the world? - NO (they may be, but don't have to be)
Associated with religion?
Does it have to do with generations?
Carbon dating?
Hibernation?
still cold
[Inks] Associated with religion? - NO
[Kim] Nothing to do with generations
[Raak] Carbon dating? - NO
[Dandalf] Hibernation? - NO
To do with agriculture?
Mating season?
Is this something animals do?
Is this particular to humans?
Are te animal featured in works of art (in the widest sense)?
[Raak] To do with agriculture? - NO
[Dandalf] To Mating season? - NO
[Rosie] Is this something animals do? - YES (animals are involved, but it's not an activity as such)
[Inks] Is this particular to humans? - NO
[Iroul] featured in works of art ? - NO
Sorry
I'm going to struggle to get online much for the next week or so.
I'm starting on a new client site, but won't get an internet connection until I've got a desk/workstation/signon sorted out, and then I don't know what I'll be able to access. Also you're nowhere near getting this, so it may be better to suspend it and go for another.
That's The Linesman BTW, and a leek-flavoured podume to anyone who can say it properly.

As Inkspot and I are the only ones to have got a YES in the last one and he's not here just now I'll start a fairly easy one.

It's MINERAL

Manmade?
Ball rolling.
Metal?
Made of one material?
[Rosie] I can say it, but probably not properly.
(Tuj) - Manmade, yes
(Chalky) Not metal
(Inkspot) Yes, more than one material You have obviously survived the attempt. :-)
Smaller than a toaster?
Solid?
(Tuj) As encountered, yes, but not necessarily
(Raak) Solid? Not always.
A household article?
Edible or Drinkable?
(Raak) Yes, but not really an article
(Chalky) Edible or drinkable? Yes, but don't try it..
Would this be a cleaning compound?
Usually found in a kitchen?
(Dujon) Not a cleaning compound *some just perceptible murmurs from the audience*
(Tuj) Probably not in a kitchen, but not impossible.
Bathroom?
Is it used as a spray?
Solid at room temperature?
(Tuj) Bathroom? Not usually.
(Inkspot) Not a spray
(Dandalf) Solid @ R.T.? Yes and no.
Some sort of fat or grease?
Is it for lubrication?
Does it do exactly what it says on the tin?
Train oil?
(Dandalf) Fat or grease? No
(Raak) Not for lubrication
(Irouléguy) It doesn't say what it does
(Projoy) Not train oil. (Haven't got a model railway. Honestly)
A detergent?
Ink?
Is part of it a container?
(Projoy) Not a detergent
(Raak) Not ink
(Inkspot) Not part of a container.
Polish?
(Raak) Not polish.
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] You may have missed a capitalisation there.
(Tuj) Does not begin with a P.
Is it something solid that is disolved in a liquid before use?
An alcohol based concoction?
(Inkspot) No.
(Dujon) No alcohol, industrial, medicinal or recreational.
Is this usually produced from distillates of wood, coal, petroleum and their ilk? (That's it for today 'cos everyone else is in the land of nod).
Plant-related?
[Dujon] 'Fraid not.
(Dujon) YES, it's "chemical"
(Tuj) Not plant-related.
Silly putty?
(Raak) Not silly putty. Much more mainstream.
Sensible putty?
(Raak) Not putty of any kind, but a "sensible" substance nevertheless.
A polymeric material?
Is it something used as a filler or adhesive?
Candle wax?
(irach) YES *applause from knowledgable members of audience*
(Raak) YES *more applause*
(Dujon) Not candle wax.
Blu-tack?
Cyanoacrylate super glue?
Starch?
Silicone rubber?
Just a reminder to all that it's edible or drinkable, but not recommended!
[Dandalf] That doesn't rule out very much really...
(Tuj) Not Blu-tak
(irach) Not cyanoacrylate superglue
(Dandalf) Not starch
(Raak) Not silicone rubber
Polyfilla?
[Rosie] But... blu-tack... I'm in a blu-tack daze as I've just removed 325 bits of the stuff from the walls of my room at uni.
Caulk?
(Tuj) Not polyfilla
(irach) Not caulk.

The "word on the card" is a brand name but the generic term will do.

Bostik?
(Raak) Not Bostik
KY Jelly?
(irach) Not KY jelly. (See the YES's above)
Is it both a glue and a filler?
Sorry Rosie but seeking a clarification to the "or" question by Raak.
(Inkspot) Not both a glue and a filler. I'll tell you it's a glue. :-)
An edible or drinkable (though not recommended) mineral glue? I give up, unless "e or d" means physically capable of being ingested.
(Dandalf) I think you can take it that "not recommended" means it's not intended for ingestion. It was a joke. Sorry if you were misled. This stuff is pretty famous.
UHU Glue?
(Dandalf) Not UHU.
Araldite?
YES! Araldite it is. Everything I possess has got a dab of it somewhere. Well done, Raak. Over to you, squire.
ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections. This may be a difficult one, but it's in Wikipedia. Two words, no articles.
Birthday party?
[Tuj] (some applause from the audience) No.
connected to time in some way?
[CdM] Not really. It would be misleading to say "no", but not helpful to say "yes".
Is the animal connection human?
[I] Yes.
An organisation?
[Rosie] No.
Connected to celebration in some way?
A characteristic?
[CdM] Yes!
[Rosie] No.
Connected to marriage in some way?
Connected to a religion?
[Irouéguy] Er....yes, it is. (Laughter.)
[Inkspot] Yes.
Is the religion Christianity?
[Néa] No.
Is the religion Buddhism?
[Irouéguy] No.
Islam?
...why not keep going?
Zoroastrianism?
(Tuj) why not...?
[Tuj] No.
[irach] No.
Did the religion start in Asia?
Judaism?
[I] Yes.
[D] No.
A vow taken by a monk?
[I] No.
Summary: a celebration relating to humans, marriage, and a religion originating in Asia, excluding Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Zorro, or Judaism. Sort-of-ish-like connected with time. Not a birthday party, an organisation, a characteristic, or a vow.
Part of the Hindu ceremony?
Is the marriage element a real marriage (one person to another)?
[Inkspot] Not Hindu.
[Kim] No. Not a marriage, just a connection with marriage in general.
Is the religion Chinese?
[I] Not Chinese.
Is this some kind of Japanese ritual?
[Rosie](APPLAUSE!) Yes.
Does it happen annually?
Japanese Tea Ceremony?
[Tuj] Yes, annually.
[Projoy] Not the tea ceremony.
Rambling over Mount Fuji ?
[Inkspot] Not Mount Fuji.
Star festival (Tanabata)?
[I] Not Tanabata.
Shogatsu?
[R] Not Shogatsu.
Two words, remember, and some sort of connection to marriage.
Are the two words Japanese?
Is it a celebrated as national holiday?
[Ir] Both words are Japanese.
[In] Not a national holiday.
Hounen Matsuri?
*clutches at straws*
[Irouéguy] The ceremonial straw hat is yours! It is indeed Hounen Matsuri, the Penis Festival.
The what now? On the Wiki article I looked at, it was the harvest festival. Still, the article was just a stub…

Last minute change of plan - my original idea has unfortunate connotations, so our next is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.
[I] I had in mind the specific one held at Komaki. I hadn't noticed the more general harvest festival significance. See the usual nine syllables dot thoeny.com/peter/tagata/tagata1.html.
The Earth and all that treads upon it?
Salty bacon crisps?
A geographical feature?
irach] The Earth and all that treads upon it? No
Raak - Salty bacon crisps? Mmmmm...salty bacon crisps, but no
Chalky - A geographical feature? No :)

Raak] For fuck's saké! Imagine explaining a set of those to Customs.
Smaller than a toaster?
Animal human?
Is it one specific object?
[Irouéguy] Be sure to click onto the following pages to see the three-metre phallus processed through the streeets.
Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? Yes
Rosie] Animal human? No
Raak] Is it one specific object?No

I hadn't noticed there were more pages - I'll check them out when I'm home again.

Just in case there's any ambiguity, Raak's link is definitely NSFW, for almost all values of 'work'.
Is the animal part - part of an animal?
Can you buy it in the shops?
Chalky] Is the animal part - part of an animal? No
Raak] Can you buy it in the shops? In some shops (though mostly a shop isn't the first place you'd go for this).
Is it ornamental?
Is it used in the house?
Raak] Is it ornamental? No
Rosie] Is it used in the house? Hmmm...it can be, but mostly isn't (hesitation becaused 'use' isn't the verb you'd most associate with it).
If not "used", then eaten?
(Thanks for hint)
Rosie] If not "used", then eaten? *applause* Close - some people eat some of it, but 'eat' isn't the most juste either.
Is the mineral part a container?
A cocktail of some kind?
Raak] Is the mineral part a container? No
Rosie] A cocktail of some kind? Yes, but only in the sense of a mixture of different ingredients.
A medication of some kind?
Would it be on the menu of a restaurant?
A drink?
CdM - A medication of some kind? Some people use it for that, but strictly, no.
Inkspot - Would it be on the menu of a restaurant? Quite likely
Chalky - A drink? How kind - large G&T, please
*cheers* YES! It's a drink
An alcoholic drink?
A drink served hot?
Chalky] An alcoholic drink? No
Inkspot] A drink served hot? Yes
Capuccino?
A Meat and vegetable salted soup?
Minestrone? (with or without added croutons)
Bovril?
KA-CHING! Chalky wins! It's capuccino. One chocolate-sprinked low-fat baton handed over.
ooh thanks!
Sorry - haven't been around this weekend so have only just found out I'd won.
Moving swiftly on with ...
A N I M A L
Human?
[Raak] Human? YES
Female?
Alive?
David Beckham?
Currently in the news?
[Inkspot] Female? NO
[Tuj] Alive? YES
[Iroule] DB? NO
[Rosie] Currently in news? Not that I've noticed
A public figure?
[Raak] A public figure? Not sure what you mean.
British?
[Inks] British? YES
Well, a household name, then.
[Raak] Household name? I should imagine so. [I don't do wikiobscurity in this particular game]
A writer?
Sportsman?
Born after 1966?
[Rosie] A writer? NO
[Tuj] Sportsman? NO
[Inks] Born after 1966? YES
Musician?
Actor?
[Néa] Musician? No
[Raak] Actor? YES!!
Forgive me - I've been called into office to work today, so internet access may be sporadic ..
Has he played Doctor Who?
In a current TV series?
Daleks V Cybermen on Saturday for the series finale...brilliant!!
[Raak] Doctor Who? YES!
[Inkspot] Current? YES!!
Now I wonder who will get there first ...?
[..just as well this was so easy because I'm going to be too busy for the next couple of days to pay much attention]
David Tennant?
That's the man! Well played Inks. Timing is all. Over to you for something perhaps a little more challenging?
Yay!! Thank you Chalky

Not too challenging, MINERAL

Metallic?
Man-made?
[irach]Metallic - No is the literal answer (slight giggling from some of the audience)
[Tuj]Man-made - YES
Polymeric?
A household object/substance?
"Instant Nails"?
[irach] - Polymeric? NO
[Rosie] - A household object/substance? NO
[Raak] - "Instant Nails"? NO
Made from a single substance?
[ImNotJohn]Made from a single substance? No
A single object?
To do with transport?
[CdM ] A single object? No (some unhappy audience murmmering)
[Raak] To do with transport? Yes (applause)
Begins with a P?
Tarmac?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? No
[Raak] Tarmac? Yes (more applause)
A road?
[Raak]A road? Yes (applause, the audience excited but are still sat down)
The motorway network?
A specific road?
A dual carriageway?
The Golden Mile?
A runway?
Silver Street?
[Rosie] The motorway network? No (and the audience go ohhhhhh!)
irach - A specific road? Yes (audience cheer)
Raak - A dual carriageway?No
Projoy - The Golden Mile?No
Kim - A runway? No
Projoy - Silver Street?No
The M25?
[Raak] The M25? No (There's a sharp in take of breath as the audience lean forward)
The M1?
M62?
[Dandalf]The M1?No
[Tuj] M62? No
Does it begin with an M?
The Channel Tunnel?
Is it, at least mostly, in the south of England?
The M2?
The M11?
[Raak]Does it begin with an M? Yes
[Lurking Chalky]The Channel Tunnel? No
[Rosie]Is it, at least mostly, in the south of England? Yes and partly (seven of the audience get up for a leek)
[Phil] The M2? No
[Irouléguy] The M11? No
Is the rest of it a number?
[Raak] Is the rest of it a number? Yes (audience are restless)
The M4?
YES, well done Cdm it is the M4. The baton is yours.

That was a lurker's victory if ever there was one. All right, this next one is
ABSTRACT
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Linguistics?
AS? No.
Linguistics? No (but a smattering of applause).
A particular language?
Particular language? No.
About the written word?
A saying or phrase?
About written word? Yes.
Saying or phrase? No (some muttering in the audience).
something that appears in the vast majority of known languages?
In vast majority of known languages? Yes.
A figure of speech?
Figure of speech? No.
jinnan tonyx?
An alphabet or other system of writing?
Universal beverage? No.
ABCs? No.
related to grammar?
Grammar-related? No.
Punctuation?
Is the answer on the card one word?
Diacritical characters?
Punctuation? No.
One word? One word plus an indefinite article.
Diacriticals? No.
some sort of metadata?
Related to pronunciation?
An idiom?
metadata? No.
pronunciation-related? Noo.
idiom? No.
a particular word?
Particular word? No.
A diary?
Long shot.
Diary? No.
Is this a property of a single word (not necessarily a particular one)?
Property of a single word? It could be.
A cliché?
clich&eacuate;? No, no, a thousand times, no.
*sigh*
Is it a metaphor?
Is it to do only with the written word (and not at all with the spoken)?
metaphor? No.
written rather than spoken word? Yes. *applause*
A misspelling?
Misspelling? Non.
An alphabet?
*points at earlier question from Sweden*
An abbreviation?
abbreviation? N.
A heading (eg chapter or paragraph)?
Heading? No.
cursivity (or whatever its called)?
Cursives? Foiled again.
Calligraphy?
To do with computer-mediated communication?
Single-minded? Me?
calligraphy? No.
CMC? No. *after a moment, there are some chuckles in the audience*
One clarification: When asked if this was a property of a single word, I replied "it could be". However, I should probably have made it clear that it need not be, and is not usually so. Also it is not so much the "property" of a word or phrase as a definition of a kind of word or phrase.
An abbreviation?
*paeqfI*
A font?
Most frequently seen in a public space?
font? No.
Most frequently seen in a public space? No, although certainly sometimes seen in a public space.
An inscription of some sort?
inscription? No. (although the aforementioned instances in public spaces would typically be)
An epitaph?
A mobile phone text message?
epitaph? RIP.
txt msg? :-( !! LOL!!!!!
Clarification of my clarification: the words on the card are not a "property" as such but they do imply a property. If you see what I mean. I have probably said too much.
A rebus?
A foreignism?
Rebus, foreignism? 9!
a neologism?
Actually, forget that, not limited to written language.
Something to do with law?
Did it exist in the nineteenth century?
A label?
To do with law? No.
Did it exist in 19th Century? Yes.
Label? No.
A signature?
signature? No.
To summarize what you know so far.

There are two words on the card, of which one is an indefinite article. The answer on the card concerns the written, not the spoken, word. It appears in the vast majority of known languages, it existed in the 19th century, and it is sometimes, though not most frequently, seen in a public space. It could, though need not, be the property of a particular word (subject to the caveat that the words on the card define a property but are not a 'property' as such).

It is not: anarcho-syndicalism, linguistics, a particular language, a saying or phrase, a figure of speech, a G&T (in any language), an alphabet or writing system, related to grammar, punctuation, diacritical characters, metadata, related to pronunciation, an idiom, a diary, a particular word, a cliché, a metaphor, a misspelling, an abbreviation, a heading, cursivity, calligraphy, to do with computer-mediated-communication, a font, an epitaph, a text message, a rebus, a foreignism, a neologism, to do with the law, a label, or a signature.

Reading that through, the only thing that is perhaps misleading is the 'phrase or saying' answer. Just as the answer could (but need not) be a word, so it could also (but need not) be a phrase.
A sentence?
Sentence? No. But see "word" and "phrase" above. (Oh, and missing from my summary: it is also not an inscription.)
A quotation?
a caption?
quotation? "No."
caption? No.
A majuscule?
majuscule? no.
Does it have anything to do with religion?
Does it have to do with literature?
religion? No.
literature? No, except very tangentially.
Is there a particular subject matter for the writing?
Was it around in the 1500s?
Particular subject matter? Definitely not.
Around in 1500s? Yes.
Does this exist in ideographic languages (eg Chinese, Japanese)?
Does it rely on the existence of printing?
A letter? (Communication, not alphabet.)
Does this exist in ideographic languages? Yes, although it is arguably somewhat different in those languages. *audience applauds the question*
Rely on printing? No.
A letter? Dear Raak. No. Love, CdM.
Does it have anything to do with alphabetical order?
deorr? No. (nevertheless, a smattering of applause)
A word square?
WO
R  D       ? No. (the audience, which had been looking anxiously at the door waiting for Tuj, begins to sit up and take notice)
A crossword?
Crossword? F*ck No! (oblig.)
A palindrome?
Anagram?
Begins with a P?
Who, me?
A smiley?
Not a bad draw, all. I'll award da baton.
The correct answer is indeed A PALINDROME.
...and double drat.
Phew. The next item is M I N E R A L
Sorry, I keep on thinking that FFFFFF is the black end of the color space. The next word is M I N E R A L. (No significance in the charcoal grey colour.)
Is it an invention?
[Inkspot] Yes, an invention.
Invented prior to 1700?
(Btw, I am glad Raak got that last one; he put in most of the heavy lifting, and got closest. I thought it would fall much more quickly, particularly since written word was identified so quickly.)
[CdM] Not invented prior to 1700. (Discontented murmuring from some of the audience who think they know the history of this thing. The laser display board explains the ruling to them.)
Was it invented in Britain?
CdM] Thanks - one of the most enjoyable for a long time
[I] Not invented in Britain. (It's not clear from Google exactly who invented it or exactly when, but I'm going with the most likely suspect.)
A battery?
Long shot.
Invented in the 20th Century?
[R] Not a battery.
[K] Not invented in the 20th Century.
Does it require electric power?
[I] Does not require electric power.
Used in the home?
[Projoy] Not normally used in the home.
Metallic?
Used on a ship?
Am I likely to own one? or want to own one if I don't already?
[Projoy] Could be used on a ship.
[Lib] You likely to own one? I think not. You want to own one? Not that I know of, at least, not in the capacity of a nurse or a singer.
*ahem* Or doctor.
[Projoy] Apols to Lib. A doctor, qua doctor, would not be likely to have one of these either.
Begins with a P?
[Raak] You appear to have missed irach.
[irach] Not normally metallic.
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
Is it used in retailing?
[I] Not used in retailing.
Made of glass?
[Inkspot] Not made of glass.
Related to travel?
Used by a particular profession or trade?
[Projoy] Unrelated to travel.
[I] Yes! Used by a particular profession or trade.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A tool of some kind?
Made of plastic?
A musical instrument?
Part of it a liquid?
[C] Smaller than a toaster.
[R] Yes, broadly speaking.
[C] Can be made of plastic.
[I] Musical instrument? Er. Yes and no.
[I] No liquids involved.
Is it a tool used in the arts?
Bigger than a pack of cards?
[irach] Used in the arts. applause
[Projoy] Difficult to compare them.
Paintbrush?
[irach] Not a paintbrush.
A comb?
Used in the performing arts, as in dance?
[Rosie] Not a comb.
[irach] Used in the performing arts.
A dance acessory?
[irach] Not a dance accessory.
A drumstick?
[Rosie] Not a drumstick.
Is it used onstage during a performance?
A Swanee Whistle?
[Inkspot] Yes, used onstage.
[INJ] Oo ooooo-oooo OOOO-oo? Nooo.
Conductor's baton
(actually, probably not, cos they tend to have a cork end)
With or without cork, Projoy is correct: a conductor's baton. (Invented, or at least popularised, by Louis Spohr in the 1820's.)
Oh, right-oh, then. MINERAL (maybe the odd trace of the other two, but MINERAL is by far the most sensible category)
Actually MINERAL/ABSTRACT.
A work of art?
Involves gold?
[Raak] Work of art, NO (*the merest momentary demurring murmur from just one audience member*)
[irach] Involves gold? NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE
A coin?
Metallic?
[Raak] A coin? NO
[irach] Metallic? YES, PARTIALLY
Manufactured?
[Rosie] Manufactured? YES
Does it have moving parts?
Invented since 1900?
[Inkspot] Moving Parts - YES
[INJ] Since 1900? YES
[INJ] There are two possible answers to that question, although as it happens they are both YES.
A computer?
[irach] A computer? YES *significant applause from audience*
Designed by Babbage?
[Raak] Babbage? NO (except inasmuch as all computers are)
Invented since the 2900?
I've worked on programs written for International Computers and Tabulators machines
Hmm..
[INJ] Invented since the 2900. This time the two answers bifurcate: YES and NO.
The computer HAL in 2001:A Space Odyssey?
Fictional?
[Tuj] Yes, fictional, and
[irach, who is clearly on the same astral wavelength as me today] HAL 9000? YES *audience applause*
*looks suspiciously at the monolith behind irach*
Coincidentally, I was listening to the theme music of the movie on the radio when I made my guess...Even more psychic!
The next one is very simply ANIMAL.
A person?
Alive?
A specific individual?
[Inkspot] No.
[Rosie] Yes or No.
[Raak] No.
Native to a region of the world?
[Inkspot] Fairly widespread globally.
Four-legged?
[Raak] No.
Three-legged
It's a process of deduction.
[Projoy] No.
A mammal?
[Inkspot] No.
Any legs at all?
A virus?
[Raak] No legs at all.
[Inkspot] Not a virus. Quite macroscopic.
Part of an animal?
[Rosie] No, the whole animal.
A fish?
A reptile?
A snake?
[Irouleguy] Yes ! A Fish!
[Inkspot] By deduction from comment to Irouleguy, NO.
[Tuj] ibid.
A freshwater fish?
Can a fully-grown one exceed 1 metre in length?
Cod?
A shellfish?
[Inkspot] No.
[ImNotJohn] Quite possibly.
[Irouleguy] No, not cod.
[Chalky] Not shellfish.
A deep sea fish?
[Inkspot] According to Wikipedia, not necessarily exclusively a deep sea fish.
Do we routinely catch it and eat it?
[Rosie] While I have never caught one (and I kind of doubt you have), it IS routinely caught and eaten.
Shark?
[Raak] No, not shark.
Squid?
[Projoy] Not a squid (No legs, remember? Not even a multiple-amputee squid). Think Phylum Pisces.
Squid have tentacles! :P
[Projoy] Squid are in the order Decapodiformes which literally means ten-legged, although you are correct in that the tentacles do not function really efficiently as legs. Neither do the legs on a two-legged stool. : )
Tuna?
[Inkspot] Not tuna.
Some sort of ray?
[irach] Just cos the Greeks got it wrong is no reason to perpetuate the error. :) Interestingly, Wikipedia refers to them as "arms".
A skate?
Not a skate.
Would I be likely to find it at the fish counter in the supermarket?
[Raak] Very likely to find it at the fish counter.
Some sort of ray?
[Projoy] Not a ray.
A ray-finned fish?
[Inkpot] Yes, a ray-finned fish (Class Actinopterygii).
A Salmon?
[Inkspot] Not salmon.
Haddock?
Cod?
[Irouleguy] Not haddock.
[inkspot] Not cod.
Herring?
Mullet
[Phil] Not herring.
[Inkspot] Not mullet, either.
Is this normally found in the waters around Britain?
Of the super order Acanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii ?
Of the super order Paracanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii?
While it is quiet ....
Of the super order Protacanthopterygii form the class Actinopterygii?
Of the super order Ostariophysi form the class Actinopterygii?
[Irouleguy] Certainly found in the North Atlantic Ocean and the North Sea.
[Inkspot] Actinopterygii, yes, but not any of the orders mentioned.
(Time for a clue?)
[Inkspot] I retract my former comment to you. It should have been a "Yes" to Superorder Acanthopterygii.
Plaice?
[Irouleguy] Getting much warmer, but no. [The audience is on tenterhooks].
Swordfish?
That was me.
Sole?
[Chalky] No.
[Inkspot] Very warm, but not quite there. [the audience's sole response is to stand in plaice, and some begin applauding the fact that the net is finally cast in the right direction to bring in the big fish].
Gosh - the anticipation is killing me ...
Flounder?
[CdM]. Yes, flounder it is. Actually the word on the card I was looking for was "Halibut", but "flounder" is close enough for a win, since halibut are a class of flounder. Take it away, CdM....
Looks like I just lurked my way to another victory. All right.
VEGETABLE and MINERAL
A building?
Building? No.
Edible?
A mass produced manufactured item?
Edible? No.
Mass-produced manufactured item? Yes.
Made of wood and metal?
Made of plastic?
Can it be held in one's hand?
Does it use electricity?
Wood and metal? No.
Plastic? In part.
Held in one's hand? Um. Yes and No.
Use electricity? No.
Clarification: As it happens, I have held this in my hand. But under normal circumstances you would not think of it as being something you can or would hold in the hand.
Has it working parts?
Working parts? No.
Always the same size?
(not meaning to within a fraction of an inch, but roughly the same)
Always the same size? The words on the card imply no necessary specific size at all. There is considerable variation in most actual instances as well, although you might still say that most actual instances are (very) roughly the same size. (Audience applauds the question, even as they try to make sense of the answer.)
And to clarify (!) I should say that many actual instances are indeed roughly (as opposed to (very) roughly) the same size.
Is it bigger than a shoebox?
Is it used in entertainment?
Bigger than a matchbox?
Is it used in industry?
Bigger than shoebox/matchbox? In the actual instances that I referred to, it would be bigger than a shoebox (and it would pretty much always have to be bigger than a matchbox).
Used in entertainment? Broadly speaking, yes.
Used in industry? No.
Used for a recreational activity?
To do with audio reproduction?
Recreational activity? Yes. (Perhaps not always, but yes is the best answer).
audio reproduction? No.
(nothing from me for the next 18 hours or so -- about to get on a plane)
Used in sports?
[CdM] Look out for snakes.
Could it be found in a home?
Used in sports? Yes. applause
Could it be found in a home? Highly unlikely.
Used in one particular sport?
One particular sport? No, although largely confined to a small number of sports.
A ball?
Some form of protection?
Is it too big for one person to carry?
A goal?
Ball? No.
Protection? No.
Too big for one person to carry? Yes, in usual circumstances (but see earlier responses)
Goal? No.
Is the vegetable cotton?
A scoreboard?
cotton? No.
scoreboard? No.
Astroturf?
Astroturf? Not quite, but massive applause
A piece of Wembley Stadium turf?
A running track?
getting colder
Wembley? No.
Running track? No.
Astroturf was really very close indeed, but not exactly right.
A pitch?
Some form of matting, eg for high-jumpers to land on?
Actually, upon reflection, I think I should just award the victory to Raak. I was actually looking for Fieldturf, which is sort of a new generation astroturf (made of rubber, sand, and plastic, and much more like real grass). (Fieldturf, like astroturf, is a brand name, but I think there are several manufacturers of similar products.)
Number 2, I guess, at least in popular consciousness.

The next is MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections.

A sculpture?
Iron hand?
A natural feature?
[C] Not a sculpture.
[i] Not an iron hand.
[R] Not a natural feature.
Does it have religious connections?
[I] No religious connections.
Is it in a particular country?
[I] Not specific to any country.
Is it a mass-produced object?
[I] Yes, mass-produced.
Is it edible?
Is it actually an object, as opposed to a substance?
[C] Not edible.
[R] An object.
Is it made of glass?
[C] Partly made of glass.
Larger than a telephone kiosk?
[C] Smaller than a telephone book.
Was it invented?
[C] Oops, misread your question. Well, it's smaller than a telephone book.
[I] Invented. Actually, one might question whether there was an "inventive step" in first making these, or if it was an obvious application of existing inventions, but patents have been granted on slighter grounds.
A microscope?
Taking a pot shot from the halfway line.
[R] Not a microscope.
Is it a product of a particular company?
Would it have a use in a particular part of one's house?
[I] Not a particular company.
[T] Yes (although it could be used anywhere in the house).
A stationery connection?
Connected to lighting?
Connected to lighting?
[P] Not conneted to stationery.
[C] Connected to lighting? Sort of.
Anything to do with time?
[C] Nothing to do with time.
Does it have an optical function?
Is it used on its own, or is it a component of some larger entity?
A window?
[P] Yes! It has an optical function. Applause!
[C] Neither.
[P] Not a window.
Eyeglasses?
Small picture frame?
[i] Not eyeglasses.
[P] Not a picture frame.
Is a lens involved?
[P] Yes! More applause.
A camera?
[T] Yes, a camera. But that's not the whole answer.
A digital camera?
[I] Yes, but that's still not quite the whole answer.
A camera phone?
[Tuj] Not a camera phone.
A webcam?
A disposable digital camera?
[I] No.
[CdM] Yes, a webcam. Back to you.
Wow. I am on a roll again. OK
MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Related to computers?
computer-related? No.
A geographical feature?
geographical feature? At least part of the answer is a geographical feature, and the whole answer is arguably also a geographical feature, at least for a broad definition of geography. applause
I'm seeing some sort of man-made structure on an island or rock - am I WAY off the mark?
Is the abstract connection in any way spiritual?
Lunar crater?
after such a good start...
manmade structure on rock? Way off the mark.    :-)
spiritual connection? No.
lunar crater? No.
A country or territory of some sort?
Country or territory? No.
Man-made?
An ocean or sea?
Man-made? No.
Ocean? No.
The face on Mars?
Is water involved?
Face on Mars? No.
Water involved? Yes. applause
A lake?
Lake? No.
Flowing water?
Is there just one of these?
Flowing water? No.
Just one of these? Yes is the least misleading answer.
Is it underground?
Underground? No.
A reservoir?
Yhough it probably counts as a lake.
Preview, dear boy. That should be, "though".
A Glacier?
Reservoir? No.
Glacier? No. smattering of applause
The Arctic ice cap?
A comet?
Arctic ice cap? No.
Comet? No.

Correction and apology: I should have answered "yes" to "a glacier?". (The technically correct answer is perhaps "no", but this is very misleading.)
In the southern hemisphere?
Southern hemisphere? Yes.
In South America?
South America? No.
An ice-shelf?
The Ross Ice Shelf?
Ice shelf? No.
Ross ice shelf? No, a fortiori
In Africa?
Yay, the Internets are back!
Africa? Yes.
A glacier in Africa? Google...

Is it in the vicinity of Kilimanjaro?

The Snows of Kilimanjaro, as in Hemingway?
YES! The words on the card are "The Snows of Kilimanjaro", with the abstract connection being the Hemingway short story and the subsequent film. *hands icicle to irach*
Thanks, CdM (he says, as the icicle begins melting and dripping)... this one is ANIMAL.
Human?
No.
A mammal?
[Irouleguy] Not a mammal.
Extinct?
Does it have legs?
Something made out of an animal?
Native to a particular continent?
Large enough to see?
Part of an animal?
[Kim] Not extinct.
[Phil] Yes, it does have legs.
[Tuj] No.
[Inkspot] Not native to any one continent.
[Raak] Yes, plainly visible and macroscopic.
[Rosie] No, not a part of an animal.
An insect?
[CdM] Not an insect.
A bird?
Amphibian?
[Raak] Yes, a bird.
[Kim] No, not amhibian.
Any emblematic significance?
A seabird?
Emu?
[Rosie] None that I'm aware of.
[Phil] Yes, a coastal bird, but not exclusively so.
[Tuj] Not an emu.
A cormorant?
Grey Gull?
A hawk of some kind?
[Irouleguy] Not a cormorant.
[Kim} Not a grey (or otherwise coloured) gull.
[Chalky] No, not a hawk of any kind.
Tern?
[Kim] Not a tern.
Native to the UK?
[Kim] Not native to the UK, according to the British Ornithologists' Union list of British birds.
[Rosie] In researching your earlier question, Yes, it is of emblematic and/or symbolic significance.
A puffin?
[Irouleguy] Not a puffin.
Waterfowl of some nature?
A vulture?
(irach) Thanks for doing that. :-)
[INJ] A waterbird that frequents water, yes.
[Rosie] No, not a vulture.
A loon?
[CdM] Not a loon.
Endangered?
[CdM] The loon is on the British list, only it's called 'Great Northern Diver'
[Irach] By waterfowl I meant a bird in the duck, coot, rail group, to distinguish it from say Fish Eagle or heron.
[CdM] Not a duck, loon, goose, swan, coot, rail or gallinule. Not Anidae.
[CdM] That should read Anatidae, of course.
[INJ] Not endangered. At least one species of this bird was endangered earlier, but has made a good recovery and is no longer considered so.
[INJ] Actually, I did a little more digging on the web, and the species in question is still considered endangered in parts of its range, while it has been removed from the list in those zones where it has made a very good comeback.
Pelican?
*waits for INJ to explain that the pelican is exclusively coastal, or some such other objection*
[CdM] Yes, Pelican, it is! Bravo! Take it away...
I actually thought of pelican much earlier, but then misread a Q&A and thought it had been ruled out. Anyway.

ABSTRACT (perhaps with VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections)
An activity?
An activity? No.
An organisation?
An organisation? No.
A human construct?
(oblig.)
Human construct? Yes.
Is this found in all cultures?
Begins with a P?
Found in all cultures. No, but it is widespread.
Begins with a P? No.
An academic study?
Academic study? No.
The audience, very belatedly, decides it should offer some applause in response to Inkspot's question.
Is the vegetable connection edible?
An anarcho-syndicalist flag?
Edible vegetable? No.
A-s flag? No. Some laughter in the audience
To do with politics?
Politics? No.
Any religious connections?
A connection with music?
A philosophy, in the broadest sense?
Religious? No.
Music? No.
Philosophy? No, unless you want to be very broad.
Is it fictional?
Fictional? No.
Anything to do with clothing?
To do with clothing? Yes, though not exclusively. applause
Appearance?
Appearance? No.
The Shield of British Fair Play?
To do with a particular item of clothing?
shield of British fair play? No.
particular item of clothing? No. some applause
Is the answer on the card one word?
The Emperor's New Clothes?
An insignia?
one word? Two words plus a definite article.
Emperor's new clothes? No.
An insignia? Yes, broadly defined. applause
The Union Flag (Union Jack)?
Union Flag? No.
Is it normally attached to clothing?
A designer label?
Normally attached to clothing? Most often, yes. applause
Designer label? Yes, broadly defined (though not exactly). applause
a care label?
A logo?
Care label? No.
A logo? Yes. applause
The Nike Symbol?
Nike? Yes! The words on the card are actually "The Nike Swoosh", but that's close enough. *hands branded baton to Projoy*
Oh dear, that was a bit of a lurker's victory. Nevermind...
VEGETABLE/MINERAL/ABSTRACT
A natural product?
Whaddya meeeen Never mind? I'm furious, as always.
Begins with a P?
[Rosie] There, there. Mine usually don't take long to get... A natural product? NO.
[Tuj] Begins with a P? YES
Yes!!
(no question)
Smaller than a phone box?
Oh alright then.
[Tuj] Smaller than a phone box? YES
A Mr. Potato Head?
[Raak] Kartoffelkopf? NEIN
Is the vegetable wood?
Is it mass produced?
The peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked?
[Ig] Wood? PROBABLY
[Ink] Mass-produced? I DOUBT IT
[CdM] The sum of stewed squash stolen by some silly sod? NO
Primarily produced for artistic, rather than practical, reasons?
[INJ] I'm not sure there's anything other than a misleading answer to that other than IT DEPENDS.
Is it found in the home?
[Raak] Found in the home? NOT NORMALLY
Does music come into this?
[Chalky] Music connection? NO
Smaller than a shoe-box?
[Ig] Smaller than a shoe-box? NO
Found on a ship?
[Raak] On a ship? NO
Is it street furniture?
[Rosie] Street Furniture, YES *applause, although there are some dissenting voices*
[INJ] On further reflection, there are two separate answers to the "artistic, rather than practical" question. One is an unequivocal YES, the other is a tentative NO.
Festive ornamentation of some sort?
[Raak] Festive Ornamentation? NO
Parking meters?
[Ig] Parking meters? NO (but a sensitive ear can make out the sound of one hand clapping)
A shelter of some kind?
[Rosie] A shelter? YEAH, I GUESS
Bus stop?
[ir] Bus stop, NOPE
A bench?
[ir] Bench, NOPE
Parking garage?
[ir] Parking garage, NOPE (don't forget - is smaller than a phone box)
parasol?
[INJ] Parasol, NO * a slight chill breeze wafts from the audience *
A Parking/No parking sign
(no) parking sign, NOPE
A pissoir?
[Rosie] Pissoir? NOPE
[all] I know it seems like it's been narrowed down quite a bit, but critical information about the answer has yet to be unearthed, hence most of these guesses missing.
A café umbrella?
[Raak] Café Umbrella? NOPE
Specific to one culture/country?
Is the shelter for people?
Park bench?
And it begins with P!
Is the vegetable wood?
[INJ] Specific to one culture/country? NO, NOT REALLY
[Ig] Shelter for people? SORT OF (it's not for any other species either)
[Tuj] Park bench, NOPE
[Raak] Wood? PROBABLY, BUT MIGHT NOT BE
Is it put there by the local authority?
[Rosie] Local Authority, NO
(put where, btw?)
Would it normally be found on the UK pavement as opposed to the US pavement?
[INJ] UK/US? NO. Wouldn't normally be found in either place.
Is it found in a particular type of location?
Some kind of fencing?
A pier?
[Rosie] Particular type of location? YES and NO. The most helpful answer is NO.
[Tuj] Fencing? NO
[Ig] Pier? NO
[Rosie] Actually, it could be that the most helpful answer is YES, come to think of it. Sorry, not wishing to be perverse, but there's still something you don't yet know about this thing that, one you have found it out, would enable me to give much less equivocal answers.
A pier?
I am so blind - apols for such blatant repitition
Is it fictional?
Pillarbox?
[Phil] apology accepted :)
[Tuj] Fictional? YES *relieved applause and cheering*
[Phil] Pillarbox? NO, although the notion of taking shelter in a pillarbox is amusing me as I type.
From a book?
Pfff blimey. Can't believe we hadn't questioned the abstract sooner.
[Tuj] From a book? YES
One specific, individual thing?
[Raak] Specific, individual? YES
[Projoy] It's only "sort of" a shelter for people, so I thought it might be a shelter for things, that people use. But, you could shelter one hand at a time in one :-)
Is the book science fiction?
[Raak] SF? NO.
A porch?
[Raak] Porch, NO.
A Priesthole?
(only they have them in non-fiction too, but it's all I can think of)
[Phil] Priesthole? NOPE
Is it a 20th century book?
[Ig] C20th book? YES
Is the book set, broadly speaking, in the present day (as opposed to being obviously historical fiction or obviously set in the future)?
[CdM] Broadly present-day, YES
(there is a case for a NO answer, but that would be a bit obnoxious)
Are there multiple instances of this one specific thing? (I'm trying to reconcile "specific individual thing" with "not specific to one culture")
[CdM] Multiple instances? NO (there's no especial reason there couldn't be, but only one is mentioned - there's nothing about the one instance encountered that is (particularly) specific to one culture)
Is the book set in a recognisable real location or locations?
(I'm making up for all the questions I didn't ask earlier.)
[CdM] Real/recognisable location? NO (and YES, but mostly NO)
Would the book be considered as basically for children?
[CdMaddendum] Which is to say in terms of "recognisable", the answer is definitely NO, and in terms of "real", it's MOSTLY NO.
[INJ] Basically for children? YES *applause*
In a Harry Potter book?
[INJ] Harry Potter? NO.
In a Narnian chronicle?
[CdM] I'm not that far back in the closet. NO. ;-)
In a Philip Pullman book?
[Ig] Philip Pullman? NOPE (even though he begins with P twice!)
Book from the last 50 years?
[Tuj] From the last 50 Years, YES
A Tolkien book?
Is the writer British?
Pub sign?
Pinocchio?
Just one book, or a series?
[Phil] Tolkien? NO
[Inkspot] British? NO
[Tuj] Pub sign? NO
[ir] Pinocchio, NO
[Ig] Just one book? YES
Da Recap
So, it's a fictional, single, individual object which is smaller than a phone-box, larger than a shoe-box and appears in a one-off C20th children's novel by a non-British author, which is mostly set in unreal locations, published some time in the last fifty years. It may be described as "street furniture" (with some potential for controversy) and The Answer begins with a 'P'. More dubious are the details of what it's made of (probably wood), where it is most likely to be found, and whether it is likely to be mass-produced (unlikely, IMO). I won't go thru all the things it's not, but will note that some people will have heard of it, others will probably require google.
French?
[INJ] French? NO
European?
OK, let's be systematic about this.
Phantom Tollboth?
And can I just say that, if that isn't right, then it ought to be.
[INJ] European, NO...
[CdM] Phantom Tollbooth? YES!! *collects checkpoint fee and hands baton back to CdM*
Never heard of it, nor will many others, thus excluding them from the game. Google it? What do you type into Google? "Something I have never heard of". Go! This is by no means the worst example of an inappropriate subject, there being many of them so arcane that you just give up, bored, knowing that eventually some clever clogs will winkle out the answer. I could retaliate, of course, if I ever win again. It will be a steam engine. Not just any old steam engine. Oh dear me no. A particular type and not only that, a particular class. And not just any old loco of that class but a particular engine. And will it be notable in any way? Not necessarily. Wouldn't that be clever? The point I am making is that this game has departed a long way from the original concept, which was conducted live and necessarily needed maybe unusual but universally-known subjects. It needs to stop being a research project or a showcase for clever boys and return to its more modest origins.
Ditto, never heard of it :-(
[Rosie] Oh, rubbish. If we stuck to obvious stuff, this game would have run out of steam much earlier. I enjoyed finding out about, for example, Bobrikov, set by Néa earlier in the game. I'd never heard of him, but that hardly excluded me from the game (in fact it was me who dug up the answer after about 20 minutes' research).
Besides, anyone who hasn't heard of the Phantom Tollbooth has just had the good fortune to discover it. It is one of the classics of literature and they should read it at once (preferably in an edition with the original Jules Feiffer cartoons).
Bobrikov, and Bluebeard (which I found through Google) were good - difficult, and involved learning something new, but they were relatively "googlable". Luckily, the Phantom Bluetooth appears to be well enough known for someone to get it, it's just us grumpy old men that have never heard of it ;-)
Lets move on and work the next one out :-)
(Projoy) There is an absolutely huge number of subjects that are universally known. The skill is in picking one that is a little off-beat and needs a little imagination to guess. That's what the original Animal, Vegetable and Mineral was about. Turning it into a research project is a negation of the original idea. I have no interest whatever in which particular species of South American lizard, or which character from some science fiction novel the questioner is thinking of. That is just so nerdy. And boring! It's meant to be a game. Time for another extended absence from this one, I feel.
[Rosie] Please don't deprive us of your presence from this game. Surely now your opinions have been aired and taken into account by the rest of us there should be less of a problem? I'm in the "never heard of it" camp for the last one, but that happens every now and then - and I'm sure it does for everyone. Trying to come up with subjects every single time that every member of a multi-national group of people from a fair age range have heard of wouldn't be too easy. Yes, if there happens to be another subject soon that the majority of people consider inappropriate we can have this kind of discussion, but shall we just get on with things for now?
[CdM] By the way, no pressure on choosing the next topic ;)
(Tuj) That's very kind, and I actually enjoy the game, yes really, but only up to the point where I reckon the answer must be something I've never heard of, at which I just switch off and hope for something better next time. OK, I'll put in some questions then, if you insist. :-)
[Tuj] Well, I was thinking about picking a particular steam engine...
[Rosie] I understand where you are coming from -- halfway through the last AVMA I remember thinking "well, if this is from a Philip Pullman book I might as well give up now." At the same time this game, like so many that we play, is different from its antecedent, and I think this is a good thing, not a bad thing. This online version is played using google from time to time, and that does open us up to more obscure topics. As to whether Projoy's particular choice was too obscure, I am inclined to think not (but then, I did know the answer). The answer was the title to the book, not something from within the book, and I do think the book is acknowledged as at least a minor classic of children's literature -- maybe not in the A.A. Milne or Lewis Carroll or C.S. Lewis league, but comparable to perhaps the works of Roald Dahl or Arthur Ransome. Like Tuj, though, I would urge you to keep playing. On which note,
ABSTRACT
A human construct?
Human construct? Yes is the least misleading answer.
Does it have religious connotations?
fictional?
To do with language?
Religious connotations? No.
Fictional? No.
To do with language? No.
To do with computers?
To do with emotions?
Computers? No, except in a very tangential sense.
Emotions? No.
To do with numbers?
Reality TV?
Is there just one of these?
Begins with a P?
Stephenson's Rocket?
No forget that - it's got to be Mallard.
A space of some kind?
To do with numbers? Hmmmmm... Not as such, yet numbers do play an important role in practice.
Reality TV? No.
Just one of these? No.
Begins with P? No.
Stephenson's Rocket? Not even close. :-)
A space of some kind? That is also a tricky one. I would say Yes, but I worry that that answer will mislead.
To do with mathematics?
Is it a game of some kind?
Connected with Physics?
[Rosie] Since it's abstract, it would have to be the Mallard Imaginaire.
"Something I've never heard of"?
A relationship of some sort between humans?
Moebius loop?
To do with mathematics? No.
Game of some kind? No.
Connected with physics? No.(There are very vague connections to physics and math, but I think they are unhelpful)
Something Projoy has never heard of? :-) No.
Relationship between humans? No. (Except in a very vague sense!)
Moebius loop? No.

Not to be discouraging, but nothing is hitting anywhere near the mark yet...
Anything to do with environmental issues?
To do with the arts?
To do with perception?
To do with environmental issues? No. (Again, I suppose there is a very vague connection.)
To do with the arts? No.
To do with perception? No.
To do with the internets?
To do with the internets? No. Although, as a clue, I might point out that it had absolultely nothing to do with the internets at all until relatively recently, and now it does have something to do with the internets, as in fact I proved when I originally set this AVMA.
AVMA?
To do with music?
To do with motion?
"Mallard" did 125 mph, you know.
To do with randomness?
Music? No.
Motion? Yes. *some applause*
Randomness? *tosses coin, checks* No.
*ahem*
To do with holidays?
The diesel land speed record?
Journey? Ticket?
The speed of light?
Some sort of delivery?
Would it have been known about/understood pre 1700?
Does it refer to the absence, rather than the presence of something?
Forget the speed of light, it's obviously not that.
oops
A clearing of the throat? No.
AVMA? No.
Holidays? No.
Diesel land speed record? No.
Speed of light? *forgets* Delivery? No.
Understood pre 1700? No. *ripple of applause*
Absence vs presence? Presence rather than absence.
Some sort of taxon?
The Hubble constant?
Technology-related?
A force?
The Poincare Conjecture?
Gravity?
Is it associated with/a product of a particular branch of science?
Kinetic energy?
taxon? No.
Hubble constant? No.
Technology-related? Yes, in the sense that it that would not be meaningful without a particular technology.
Poincaré Conjecture? No.
Gravity? No. *some laughter in the audience mixed with a smattering of applause*
Associated with particular branch of science? Yes, if "science" includes applied sciences.
Kinetic energy? No, although there is a vague connection.
Anything to do with planes?
Is the technology computing?
Flight?
Railway timetable?
To do with planes? Yes. *applause*
To with computing? Well, the primary technology I was thinking of was aeronautics. There need not be a connection with computing, but in practice there usually is.
Flight? No. *significant applause*
Railway timetable? No. *sudden silence*
The simulated absence of gravity on a plane flying a parabolic path?
Bernoulli's Principle?
Lift?
Which could be correct, as Tuj's "A Force?" was not answered.
oooops again
zero g? No.
Bernouilli Principle? *tosses coin, checks* No.
Lift (or other force?)? No.
*surreptitiously removes "i" from Bernoodle*
To do also with money?
Jet lag?
Forget last question
jet lag?
...
...
...
...
No.
The gyroscopic effect?
OK, to do also with money?
gyroscopic effect? No.
to do with money? No.
Satellite Navigation?
satellite navigation? No. *more applause*
Altitude?
Elliptical orbit?
altitude is one of the two words on the card. *sustained applause*
elliptical orbit? No.
Cruising Altitude?
If that doesn't work I'll let others have a go.
Density Altitude?
No, I think INJ has it, actually.
Pressure Altitude?
Just in case INJ hasn't got it.
Cruising Altitude it is, prompted by the fact that I posted that AVMA at a height of 38,000 feet somewhere over Central Asia. *automatic pilot hands baton to INJ*
OK, a quick one then.
This one is MINERAL.
BTW I'm spending the long weekend away from contact. (No phone, no mobile connectivity, without walking 15 minutes, no road). So if you haven't got it by bedtime there could be a long pause.
naturally occurring?
Is there more than one instance of this?
[PJ]naturally occurring - YES
[CdM] >1 - NO is probably the less confusing answer
Larger than a house?
[CdM] > house - YES
A geographical feature?
Well this is going quickly
[Phil] geographical feature? - YES (applause)
In Europe?
[Phil] Mineral, larger than a house, INJ setting the clue -- it had to be a geographical feature. :-)
On Earth?
*senses possible topicality*
Is its name of plural form?
As in the Alps, the Urals, the Six Counties, etc.
[CdM] Europe - NO
[PJ] On Earth - YES (no ice balls here)
[Raak] name of plural form? - NO (that's not why)
Africa?
(Feel free to assume the rest of the questions :-) )
Feeling Liberated
[Néa] Africa - NO
(Feel free to assume the rest of the answers)
Asia?
[PJ] Asia - YES
The audience is following intently.
A Himalaya?
[Tuj] Himalaya? - NO
A group of islands?
Is it at sea?
A named object?
[Néa] archipelago? - NO
[Raak] At Sea? - NO (a few wry grins are seen),br>[PJ] named object? - YES
Preview, you Great Dummacks!
New Orleans?
A lake?
Which Asia was that?
[Raak] New Orleans? - NO
[Rosie] Lake? - YES
(Most of the audience applaud - a few sit pointedly on their hands)
The Caspian Sea?
Nearly there
[Néa] Non-princely Caspian - NO
Lake Baikal?
Aral Sea?
Lake Vostok?
And it’s a lurker’s victory for irach – the Aral Sea it is. The singular/plural question is because the evaporation has continued to such an extent that there are at least 3 unconnected bodies of water.

So, have a good weekend and over to irach.

Well, well, well... The next one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] As a matter of fact, Yes.
Manmade?
[Rosie] Yes.
Bigger than a telephone box?
Score!
[Tuj] No, smaller than a telephone box.
Bigger than a shoebox?
A household device?
[Projoy] Generally not larger than a shoebox, and definitely not in two of the three dimensions.
[Rosie] May occasionally be used in the household, but is also frequently utilized in other locales.
A man-made object?
[CdM] you obviously know him better than I do
Used in sport?
A passive object, i.e. not powered?
[Phil] Yes. A man-made object.
[Tuj] Not used in sport.
[Rosie} Not powered by electricity or any fuel.
A leather-bound filofax?
Is the vegetable part paper?
[Raak] No. Not a filofax.
[Tuj] The vegetable part is not paper.
Is the vegetable part wood?
Is the animal part alive?
[Tuj] Yes, the vegetable part is wood.(The dozing audience opens half an eye)
[Raak] Not alive.
Is the mineral part metal?
A musical instrument?
[Tuj] Yes, the mineral part is metal.
[Raak] Not a musical instrument.
Do many people carry this with them?
[Rosie] Most people have carried it at some time, some people carry this some of the time; a certain profession carries it more often than others.
A mobile phone?
[Rosie} Not a mobile phone.
Is it a penknife or pocket knife?
[penelope] Neither a penknife or pocket knife.
An umbrella?
[Raak]. Not an umbrella. (begins with "p", remember? Not a parasol either, however. As a clarification, one does not "carry" it so much as "handle" it in its use).
Does it have a use in an office?
A pen?
A container of some kind?
[Projoy] Not generally used in an office.
[Chalky] Not a pen (the audience stirs ever so slightly, though}
[Rosie] Not a container.
Connected with making marks?
a picture?
Connected with paint?
A paintbrush?
[Projoy] I presume one can make marks with it.
[INJ] Not a picture (but the audience sits up, taking notice, and a few nod knowingly)
[Raak] Yes. Connected with paint... (oooh, so close).
[Tuj] By Jove, you got it! YES - a paintbrush it is.
I say, I actually won one! That's never happened before!
So, I'll kick off with a nice easy ANIMAL.
Human?
[Kim] Nope.
Begins with a P??
[Néa] Naturally :D
Currently lives wild in Britain?
[Raak] Possibly, but a less misleading answer I think would be NO.
Dingo?
Is it a bird?
[irach] Not a dingo.
[Rosie] Not a bird (or a plane, or indeed Superman).
Do people keep it as a pet?
Is it a mammal?
Is it sometimes used a s a work animal?
A single named individual animal?
[Raak] Pets? No.
[Néa] Not a mammal.
[irach] Not a work animal, though it is useful.
[INJ] Not a specific single animal.
I feel so negative... at least you know it begins with P, eh? ;)
Does it live on land?
[INJ] As opposed to sea or sky YES, but that's not a brilliant answer.
Maybe I should have made more of the fact it's useful...
Does it live in fresh water?
Is it an insect?
Is it bred for a specific purpose?
[irach] No, I don't think so.
[Chalky-1] No...
[Chalky-2] Yes! (though not in all instances)
A pig?
A reptile?
[Rosie] Not a mammal, apparently.
[Rosie & Projoy] Neither a pig nor a reptile.
An invertebrate?
Individually visible to the naked eye?
Is its skin made into leather?
"Leather" includes crocodiles, snakes, eels, etc
Is it a fish?
Is it an animal product?
[irach] Spineless indeed.
[INJ] Probably...
{Raak] No!
[Kim] No!
[Chalky] YES! That's a much better line to go down.
Honey?
Edible?
[Rosie] No.
[Irouléguy] Yes *audience thinks about applauding, then doesn't
*
Eaten by human beings?
[Projoy] Taken in by humans, yes. Not sure what it'd do to anything else.
Do people drink it?
Connected with brewing or distilling?
[Raak] No
[Projoy] No.

I don't think I'm very good at this.
Is the animal a bird?
[Raak] Nope, that's been asked before (Rosie) and we've also established that it's iffy whether a single one would be visible to the naked eye (INJ). As far as your previous question goes, it is "eaten" as such, although I just don't think that's the right word.

I'm going away tomorrow for a few days so this may get abandoned.
Does whatever it is sort of just hang around in the air?
[Projoy] No I'm afraid.
Is it alive?
Paramoecium?
A medication?
[Projoy] The animal yes, the animal product I'm fairly sure not
[irach] Afraid not
[Inkspot] Yes! *audience applause threatens structural instability*
Penicillin?
[Projoy] YES! *lights flash, trumpets sound*
'cuh, thank goodness that's over. I'll go back to guessing!
Oh dear, me again. OK, something everyone will have heard of, this time. ABSTRACT
Begins with a P?
Ahh, much better.
A human construct?
(Tuj) Penicillin is not an animal product but originally came from a mould. It can now be synthesised chemically.
[Tuj] YES, it does begin with a P!
[Rosie] YES, a human construct. Hm. Are moulds animal or vegetable or taxonomically in an "ancestor-to-both" category?
Procrastination?
[CdM] I'll tell you later.
To do with art?
Procrastination?
[Rosie] Yes, I realised I'd plunged in and labelled it animal without considering vegetable, but never mind. Thankfully my mess was cleared up by Inkspot & Projoy.
[Raak] Art? Most helpful answer is NO.
[Tuj] I'm getting to that one. It's the next thing on my list. More later.
An organisation?
(Pj) Moulds are a type of fungi, apparently. I can't see how there can be any connection with animals. Animal can turn into Vegetable eg manure (there's polite for you) but surely not the other way round?
[Rosie] Organisation? NO.
Is it fictional?
[Is] Fictional? NO
Is there a religious connection?
Anythig to do with furries?
Predestination?
Plutocracy?
Parsimony?
[Ig] Religious connection? NO
[Raak] Furry connection? NO
[Chalky] Predestination, Plutocracy or Parsimony? NO
A political concept?
[Rosie] Political? NO, well, only in the vaguest possible way.
Philosphy?
[Phil] Osophy? NOPE. (I do sometimes think that knowing the first letter is actually a bad thing. Encourages premature guessing).
An emotion?
(not wanting to be premature)
[Phil] An emotion? NO.
Premature Guessing?
Har har :P
[CdM] Premature Speculation? NO
Poincaré's Conjecture?
Possible event?
An activity?
Pantomime?
( [Tuj]With regard to the earlier one, can "Penicillin", a fungus, really be classified as an "animal"? Shouldn't it have been "vegetable"?)
[Raak] Poincaré's conjecture? NO
[Inkspot] Possible event? NO
[Ig] Activity? NO
[irach] Panto? OH, NO IT ISN'T!
Probability of having its own Wikipedia entry?
[Inkspot] Technically, I can answer only YES or NO, but since it's you, I shall reply that the probability is 100%.
Did it exist more than a century ago?
Is it an artistic style?
A bodily function? (not necessarily a rude one).
[Raak] More than a century old? YES
[Phil] Artistic style, NO
[Rosie] Bodily function, rude or otherwise, NO
To do with language?
[Raak] Language connection? NOT REALLY, except in a fairly catch-all sense.
Is it timeless?
[Phil] Timeless? NO
What it's not...
Art, organisation, fictional, religious, furry, political, philosophical, emotion, possible event, activity, panto, style, bodily function, language, timeless.
The definition of planets?
Scientific/Technical?
[Raak] Definition of planets? NO
[Rosie] Scientific/Technical? YES (for the most part) *audience applause, although one or two pedants get into fistfights*
Also - it isn't predestination, plutocracy or parsimony.
*is somewhat bemused by the pedants who have to resort to fisticuffs and tells them it's not THAT important - fer gawd's sake*
Periodic Table?
[Elemental, my dear Chalky] Periodic Table? NO
A theory?
[Inkspot] A theory? NO
Anything to do with the weather?
Is it an "-ology" ?
[Rosie] To do with the weather? NO
[Philology]? NO, not an ology.
[Projoy] Takes a lot to make me laugh on a monday morning, but thanks for "Philology" - raised a titter, at least :-)
Anything to do with a craft of some sort?
[Raak] To do with a craft of some sort? Strictly, NO (but note my emphasis).
A general skill?
[Raak] NO, not a skill. (damn, thought we were almost there for a moment!)
Is it a practice of some kind?
[Kim] Practice, NO.
Need a clue?
WE will ask the questions!
Er, actually, yes.
Clue-o-rama
OK, strictly it's not to do with any particular craft, but it is relevant to craft in general, so long as you take a very broad definition of craft (i.e. not corn dollies and marquetry). In principle it need not be to do with science and/or technology, but in practice it usually is. The Answer is not a verb, gerund or adjective, nor is it any kind of "ism".
(The Answer is a single word, too).
Production?
[Phil] Production, NO? * murmur of interest from the audience*
[CdM] Procrastination, NO (Sorry for the delay).
Anything to do with the occult?
[Chalky] To do with the occult, NO (not that kind of craft, either :))
Does it invove making pictures?
Powerpoint?
[Raak] Involves making pictures? OFTEN, IN PRACTICE *smattering of applause*
[Chalky] Powerpoint, NO.
photography?
strike that - silly guess, photography is an activity
is it a graphics programme?
[Chalky] Graphics programme, NO.
We'll be right back after this message from our sponsor....
PS. Having just looked up fungi in Wikipedia (nothing to do with the answer to mine), I read this: "Fungi were originally classified as plants, however have since been separated as they are heterotrophs. This means they do not fix their own carbon through photosynthesis, but use carbon fixed by other organisms for metabolism. Fungi are now thought to be more closely related to animals than to plants, and are placed with animals in the monophyletic group of opisthokonts." The article classifies them as "Kingdom: Fungi", so maybe this game should become AVFM?
+A
(after further research) Hm. Possibly the game should even be Animal, Plant, Fungi, Protista, Archaebacteria, Eubacteria, Non-Organic, Abstract. Might take the fun out of it, tho.
[Projoy] What about objects that refuse to define themselves in terms of an oppressive system of categories that makes no allowance for their unique viewpoint?
[Raak] They must be sent to the salt mines.
Day dreaming?
[Inkspot] Sorry, yes, I was miles away.
[IS] Er, daydreaming? NO.
Linked with a particular culture or country?
[all] Sorry for finding out it began with P...
[all again] But far more sorry for my momentary lapse in forgetting the "vegetable" category - luckily I've been away over the weekend and my embarassment has cooled. And to me (and most I guess) mould would certainly be vegetable, whatever dratted Wikipedia thinks.
You and Linnaeus, even, so you're in good company
[Tuj] Linked with a particular culture or country? NOT ANY MORE
Is it a process?
Was this thing invented by mankind?
[Phil] Funny, that's just the question I was going to ask in my post-before-last.
[Phil] Is it a process? UMMMM, NO (a process is involved, however)
[Tuj] Invented by mankind? YES (i.e. a human construct)
In the last 500 years?
[Tuj] Invented in the last 500 years? NO.
[Projoy] I think we have already had this discussion.
The last thousand?
This is a struggle, but a very interesting one.
One last thing before I give up, as this thing is an abstract human construction is it a thought process or something like that goes on in someone's head.
Proof?
Hello everyone. I've been away far too long.
[Tuj] Invented in the last thousand years. YES. Some accounts say that this was around a long time before its "official" invention date in the last thousand years, but I'll go with the account that gives a specific date.
[Inkspot] Thought process? NOT EXCLUSIVELY, this thing (rather than process) is abstract (i.e. non-tangible), but it is also translated into tangible form and because of that it has a definite effect on people's behaviour in the real world.
[flerdle] Proof? NO, although proof (in the informal sense) is often involved.
Printing?
[Raak] Printing? NO (not that informal sense of proof!)
propaganda?
A pendulum?
[flerdle] Propaganda, NO
[Raak] Pendulum, NO
(and if the diversity of those last few guesses isn't a hint that we still need more broad deductive questions, I don't know what is!)
To the question by Tuj "Linked with a particular culture or country?" you replied "NOT ANY MORE". Does that mean that it began in one country but it is now world wide.

ps if yes, a great clue would be the coutry of origin.

Is it associated with a particular way of life?
OK, let's be a bit helpful here...
[Inkspot] OK, for nothing I shall reveal that this thing first appeared (according to the account I am following) in Venice first (when Venice was a country).
[Phil] Associated with a particular way of life? NOT REALLY (unless you mean particular professions?)
Pasta?
[Raak] Wikipedia says that pasta originated in many places independently, the earliest records being from China, so NO.
Patents?
[flerdle] PATENT, YES! *astonished but grateful applause from the audience*.
Well, it couldn't be double-entry book-keeping
Gosh.

OK, short and simple:       VEGETABLE

Is it really a fungus? :)
*giggles*
[Projoy] Fungus? NO
Is it green?
Is it edible?
Is it wood?
Is it a whole plant? (Not having played here for months)
[Projoy] Green? Can be
[Chalky] Edible? YES
[Raak] Wood? NO
[Darren] a whole plant? NO
Is it a pepper?
Or an apple?
Or tea?
[Darren] a pepper? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Projoy] an apple? strictly NO, but may be involved.
[Irouléguy] tea? NO.
A particular dish?
Pizza?
[Projoy] a particluar dish? YES and NO, but probably more helpful if you take that as "YES".
[Raak] Pizza? yes please!! oh.     NO.
The recommended five portions a day?
[Projoy] It's seven portions here... but either way, NO
Salad?
Is it associated with a particular country?
Is it eaten hot?
[Projoy] Salad? NO
[Inkspot] Associated with a particular country? YES! *audience cheers*
[Raak] Eaten hot? NO
A European Country?
Is any sort of grain product involved?
Beguns with a P?
[Projoy] a European country? NO. Well, not at first.
[Raak] involving grainproduct? NO
[pTuj]   starts wuth a P? No. Sorry.
Is the country India?
Ottoman Empire or some other way of saying "Turkish" that wasn't, at first, European?
Tofu kebab?
[Darren] India? YES! *more cheers*
[Projoy] Turkish etc? NO
[Raak] Tofu kebab? NO
NB need sleep, sorry for the upcoming delay, do guess on...
Ayurvedic cuisine?
Some sort of curry?
Does one find it in Indian restaurants outside India?
Contains mango?
Some sort of chutney or pickle?
[Projoy] Ayurvedic cuisine? vaguely.
[Darren] Curry? NO but ever so close
[Raak] found in Indian restaurants outside India? YES
[irach] contains mango? YES and no. Depends.
[Irouléguy] a chutney or pickle? YES!! *audience cheers wildly, orders takeaway*

Chutney it is. Over to you Irouléguy

Sorry for the delay! Out all day, and I'm out again tonight. Another quick one, I hope - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
Male?
Raak] Fictional? NO
Inkspot] Male? Usually, but not exclusively.
Symbolic?
The name of a job?
Raak] Symbolic? NO
Projoy] The name of a job? NO
Is it an activity?
A game?
Is the animal connection human?
Connected to religion?
Is more than one sort of animal involved?
Chalky] Is it an activity? *applause* YES
Rosie] A game? *louder applause, quite possibly beer-fuelled* YES
ImNotJohn] Is the animal connection human? YES
Inkspot] Connected to religion? *some sardonic chuckling* NO
Raak] Is more than one sort of animal involved? YE-ES, though I don't think that's helpful.
Football?
Game hunting?
Fuzzy Duck?
Cricket?
Assuming the ball contains leather.
Golf?
Raak - Football? NO
Projoy - Game hunting? NO - the other animals are red herrings
Phil - Fuzzy Duck? *the audience break into teams to play* Nice idea, but no.
Rosie - Cricket? NO *polite applause*
Assuming the ball contains leather - that assumption contains two unasked questions.
Darren] Golf? NO
Is it a ball game?
Darren] Is it a ball game? YES
Golf?
A team game?
Lacrosse?
Primarily associated with a particular country?
Handball?
Wondering whether games with implements like bats/clubs/whatever would have vegetable/mineral/whatever connections.
Baseball?
Is the animal connection _only_ human?
Rosie hits a a home run! It's baseball (the other animal connection being the leather-covered ball - I did say it was a red herring.) *Hands bat over*
Good heavens, I've won. Better have a lie down. That's better.

Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines, but nevertheless MINERAL.

Metal?
A geographical feature?
Does it require electric power?
(Tuj, Phil, Inkspot) Not metallic, geographical or electrically-powered.
All together now, A human construct?
Smaller than a phone box?
(Projoy) YES, made by humans.
(Tuj) YES. Strictly, extremely unlikely that it's not.
Made of glass?
(Raak) - Made of glass? YES - *vigorous applause*
A container?
Is it made from just the one material?
A beer glass?
Raak - A container? - NO
Inkspot - Made from one material? -YES
Irouléguy - Beer glass? - How dare you? - NO
A decorative item?
(Phil) - Decorative item? Could be, but real answer is NO.
It is for looking through?
A scientific item?
(Raak) - For looking through? - NO
(Phil) - A scientific item? - YES
A pipette?
Is it a container?
(Irg) A pipette? - NO
(Darren) Already been asked - NO
Does it have other uses aside from the scientific one(s)?
(Darren) - Other uses - YES (if science and technology are distinct)
Thermometer?
(irach) - NO - Not a thermometer.
A mirror?
A prism
Can't believe no-one's asked if it starts with "P" yet...
(Raak) - Not a mirror, but (Phil) YES! - A prism. Carry on; it's all yours.
Well, stap me vitals, Bloodnok!

OK, this time I'll go for VEGETABLE & MINERAL

The vegetable's wood and the mineral's metal?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
Anything to do with dispensing inebriating fluids?
[Irach 1] Wood? CAN BE
[Irach 2] Metal? NO
[Darren] Walkers' Finest S&V? NO
[Rosie] To do with intoxicating liquor? NO
Bigger than a telephone kiosk?
[Chalky] Bigger than phonebox? NO
Is it a manufactured object?
A tool?
Is the mineral fluid?
[Darren] Manufactured? YES
[INJ] A tool? NO
[Raak] Fluid mineral? YES
Is the fluid water?
[Darren] Water? Not entirely
Is it a container of some sort?
[Chalky] Container? NO
Any connection with weather forecasting?
Barometer?
[Chalky] Weather forecasting? Dear God, NO - who do you think I am? :-)
[Darren] Barometer? NO
Is the water sea water?
Is it a drink?
Begins with a P?
Oh.
[Raak] Sea water? NO
[Inkspot] A drink? NO, unless you have very bizarre tastes...actually, just make that a stright NO
[Tuj] Begins with P? Sorry, NO.
Is the fluid used for cleaning?
Is the fluid colourless?
[Rosie] Fluid for cleaning? NO
[Inkspot] Is the fluid colourless? I don't know, but it could be I suppose.
Would you normally find it in the home?
Normally found in the home? Hmmmm, how pedantic do I want to be. YES, it could normally be found in a home; NO, a home is not the only place it is normally found.
Is it a measurement device?
Is the vegetable also part of the fluid?
[Kim] Measurement device? NO
[Inkspot] Is the vegetable also part of the fluid? NO
I think I need to provide a little guidance/clarification. The "manufactured object" does not contain any fluid.
Is it edible?
[Tuj] Edible? NO
Is it something that you put into a fluid?
Is it more likely to have a use in the workplace?
[Raak] Something that you put into a fluid? NO
[Chalky] More likely to have a use in the workplace? Possibly, but I'd say equally useful at home as at work.
Smaller than a toaster?
[Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? YES
Anything to do with sports?
Anything to do with cooking?
Is the vegetable part alive?
Is it something one could wear?
[Chalky] Sport? NO
[Rosie] Cooking? NO
[Tuj] Live vegetable? NO
[Darren] Something one could wear? Hmmm..it has been done, but I'd say NO.
Is it used to separate something from something else?
A newspaper? (The paper is dead vegetable, the printing ink being a fluid mineral, and newspapers have known to be worn on a couple of occasions, one can use it at home or in the office)
[Darren] To separate two things? NO *some whispering in the audience*
[irach] Newspaper? NO, *audience applauds irach's effort, despite it being wrong*
Is it printed paper?
Is paper involved?
Is is something to do with the arts?
[Raak] Printed paper? NO
[Tuj] Involves paper? NO
[Kim] To do with the arts? NO
*An audience member stands up and explains that they were applauding irach for applying his deductive powers and coming up with an excellent explanation, even though "newspaper" still isn't close*
A further hint/elaboration. The mineral fluid is used in the manufacture of the object from vegetable sources.
Was this thing "invented"?
[Phil] I'd realised what the audience were applauding for, but still did my daft guess anyway. Ah well.
medicinal?
[Tuj] Invented? YES
[Chalky] Medicinal? NO
Is the material used in arts and crafts?
[Raak] Used in arts and crafts? Can be, but not exclusively. *a ripple of applause*
Some sort of fixative or glue?
A model airplane made from balsa wood and epoxy adhesive?
[Chalky] Some sort of fixative or glue? YES *enthusiastic applause*
[irach] model aeroplane etc? NO
Good old-fashioned wood glue?
Wallpaper paste?
[Rosie] Wood glue? NO
[CHalky] Wallpaper paste? NO
An apology I applied too liberal a meaning to "fixative". Having now looked it up, I would have to give my earlier answer to Chalky as "NO, but getting close"
Polyfiller?
[Chalky] Polyfilla? NO
Play Doh?
Size?
I have no idea what size is made from, actually.
[Chalky] Playdoh? NO
[Raak] Size? NO (it's just weak wallpaper paste)
Papier maché?
Is it used in photography?
A plastic laminated card?
[Raak] Papier Maché? NO
[Kim] Photographical? NO
[irach] Plastic laminated card? NO *murmurs of interest from audience, who were starting to nod off*
Anyone for a summary?
What it is: it is manufactured; the vegetable aspect can be wood; the mineral aspect is fluid which is not entirely water and is probably colourless; it is found in the home and the workplace; it is smaller than a toaster; it was invented; it could be associated loosely with fixatives/glues.

What it's not: crisps; anything to do with booze; bigger than a phonebox; a tool; a container; anything to do with weather-forecasting (including barometers); involving sea water; a drink; starting with P; used as a cleaning fluid; a measurement device; linked to vegetal fluid; to do with sport or cooking; alive; something to wear (conventionally); a means of separation; a newspaper; printed paper; involving paper; to do with the arts; medicinal; a fixative or glue; model aeroplane; wood glue; wallpaper paste; polyfilla; playdoh; size; papier maché; plastic laminated card

Sellotape?
some sort of sealant?
[Tuj] Sellotape? YES, dagnammit, YES !!!! *rapturous applause*
[Chalky] A sealant? Well, as you can now see, it can be.
The vegetable is wood, cotton or hemp. That's dissolved in alkali to make viscose, then extruded into an acid bath to make cellophane. Rubber resin is applied to the cellophane to make Sellotape (or Scotch Tape or cellophane tape). My confusion over "fixative" was because I thought it meant something to fix one thing to another. Over to you Tuj, and congrats.
Ooh 'eck
Can I pass this one up? I'm probably not going to be around enough in the coming days - I'm packing & leaving for my second year of uni at present, a little mad (and no guarantee of having Internet at the other end yet...)
Whoever's in next with a good idea can take the baton.
May I ...?

VEGETABLE with traces of MINERAL with a strong ABSTRACT element.
A crucifix? (And if not, connected with religion?)
A vegetarian diet?
[Darren] Crucifix? NO
[ " ]Connected with religion? NO
[Rosie] A vegetarian diet? NO
Edible?
Connected with the arts?
[irach] edible? NO
[Darren] Connected with the arts? It depends on what you mean by the arts; there IS a tenuous connection but it would be more useful to you if I said NO.
Some sort of printed material?
[Raak] Some sort of printed material? YES
The Holy Bible?
Connected to an event?
[irach] Holy Bible? See Darren's first question (and the reply)
[Inkspot] Connected to an event? NO
Does it have pictures?
Is the vegetable wood?
A textbook of some kind?
[Darren] Pictures? Yes - sort of
[Inkspot] Wood? Yes
[Rosie] A textbook? YES
Was it first printed before 1900?
[Inkspot] printed before 1900? NO
The Highway Code?
[Iroule] Highway Code? NO
Connected to science?
Used in schools?
[Inks] Connected to science? Not in the sense I'm guessing you mean.
[Raak] Used in schools? I'll say NO so as not to mislead you, but this object can be used almost anywhere.
Is it a list in any sense?
A cookery book?
A computing book?
Is the author British?
*apologises for absence from game duty this weekend ..*
[Rosie] A list? In any sense? Erm .. no but then again .. SORT OF
[Iroule] Cookery? NO :-)
[Raak] Compooting? NO
[Inks] British Author? Originally, YES
Grammar book?
[irach] Grammar Book? NO
Jane's Fighting Ships?
Was it first printed before 1950?
[Rosie] Jane's? NO
[Iroule] Printed before 1950? YES
Is it revised and updated annually?
[Inks] Revised and updated annually? I don't think it's annual but it's certainly revised and updated regularly. Excellent question :-)
With alphabetically arranged entries?
[Projoy] Alphabetically arranged entries? IN PART
Wisden?
[Raak] Wisden? NO
Roget's thesaurus?
Is there a sporting connection?
[Darren] Roget's? NO
[Iroule] sporting connection? NO
Does it have satirical connotations?
An encyclopedia?
[Darren] satirical connotations? Nah
[Raak] Hen-sigh-klo-pee-dear? No it isn't and I'm surprised that no-one has asked that yet.

By way of a clue, I'm going to give a belated *audience applauds* to a question posed by Irouléguy on Saturday.
To do with transport?
A map?
[Rosie] Transport? Yes
[Raak] A map? No and YES *hurrah*
The A-Z?
AA members' handbook?
[Iroule] AA member's handbook? No, because ...
[Projoy] The answer is THE London A-Z, but that's the one you probably meant - so CHEERS FOR PROJOY :-)
Over to you ..
Okey doke... the next one is ANIMAL.
Living?
Human?
[irach] Living? YES
[Rosie] Human? YES
The Queen?
Helen Mirren?
Male?
Born before 1960?
Projoy?
Him *points*
A member of the Morniverse?
It's not me, is it?
[Raak] HMQ? No
[Ig] HM? No
[irach] Male? YES
[Inkspot] Natally prior to JFK Presidency? YES
[Darren] Me? No (I have, in fact, already been "done" in this game)
[Phil] Darren? No
[Rosie] A member of the Morniverse? No.
[Kim] Not you either, I'm afraid.
Born before 1900?
Fictional?
An entertainer?
A royal?
[Ig] A Pre-Labour Party baby? No.
[UK] Fictional? No.
[Raak] Entertainer? No.
[Darren] A royal? No.
A scientist?
[Raak] A scientist, YES.
Physicist?
[Darren] Physicist? No.
A biologist?
[Raak] A biologist, YES.
Richard Dawkins?
[Darren] YES, that's the fella. Over to you.
Here we go: ABSTRACT/ANIMAL
A fictional character?
Animal instinct?
Fictional? No.
Animal instinct? No.
A grouping of animals?
Grouping of animals? In a manner of speaking.
Are the animals human?
An organisation?
A political party?
White elephant?
A sporting team?
Is the abstract element a generic term?
Animals=human? Yes.
Organisation? Yes.
Political party? Yes. (Applause on that one.)
White elephant? No.
Sporting team? No.
Abstract element=generic term? No.
A British political party?
British political party? Yes. (Again, applause.)
The Labour Party?
[Projoy] Labour? No.
The Monster Raving Loony Party?
Currently in existence?
Monster Raving Loony Party? No.
Currently in existence? Yes.
The Liberal Democrats?
UKIP?
*suspects Projoy has got it, but just in case*
Plaid Cymru?
UKIP? No.
Plaid Cymru? No.
Liberal Democrats? Yes. (Huge applause.) So it's over to Projoy again.
OK... MINERAL
Metal?
[Rosie] Metal, no.
Solid?
[ir] Solid, YES
Does it occur in nature?
[Quen] Occurs in nature, no.
A polymeric material?
Is it unique?
A work of art?
Is it larger than a telephone box?
[irach] A polymer? No (well, I don't think so - that's long chains of molecules, yeah?)
[Quen] Not unique
[Raak] Work of art? No, not really
[Darren] YES, larger than a telephone box.
Glass?
Is it intended for people to go inside?
Is it a building?
[Ink] Not glass.
[Darren] For people to go inside. YES *one or two titters from the audience*
[Chalks] YEEEEES. Certainly a LOT more yes than no, and YES would be the best answer to proceed with.
Does it have moving parts?
A stone pyramid for dead people to go inside?
A public lavatory?
A pig sty?
[Quen] Moving parts? No.
[irach] Stone pyramid for dead people? No. *scattering of applause*
[Rosie] Public lav? No.
[Ink] Pig Sty? No.
A single, specific building?
[INJ] Single, specific, No.
A crematorium?
Public lavatory?
Is it made from stone?
Are they still being widely built?
[ig] Crem? NO. * a stir of interest in the audience *
[irach] Lav? See above.
[Chalky] Stone, YES!
[Ink] Still widely built? No.
A mausoleum?
[Ig] Mausoleum? NO. * audience still interested *
A tumulus?
They're clouds, aren't they?
[INJ] A tumulus? No.
cromlech
Stone sarcophagus?
Is it associated with death?
[Inkspot] Cromlech, no.
[irach] sarcophagus, no
[INJ] Death association, YES.
A crypt?
Although there is a fine distinction between that and a mausoleum...
[CdM] YES - I was thinking specifically of the kind of crypt that sits under a church (and hence is only just classifiable as a building in itself), rather than the more modern type of standalone crypt which is almost synonymous with a vault or mausoleum. * hands baton to CdM, reassumes his clanking chains and retires to his berth in the crypt below, accompanied by organ music*
*returns only to pick up his scythe and pop in a line*
Very well then: VEGETABLE.
Ack, wait, CdM chooses the next item, isn't that right? What a terrible faux pas. Please disregard!
[Quen] Yeah, it's usually the successful guesser who sets the next one... although in this case he hasn't been around for 12 hours. See if he turns up in the next 12 and if not we could go with yours...
Currently alive?
[Q] That's ok. I've set several in the past few weeks (on account of being such a brilliant guesser an' all). Welcome and go right ahead.
Edible?
Quendalon] Welcome - always nice to get new players.
A drink?
To think it took me four years and a box of chocs before my first AMVA ;)
A single specific object?
Thank you all for the kind welcome! This looks like fun. :)

[CdM] No, not currently alive.
[Irouléguy] Not edible.
[Inkspot] Definitely not a drink.
[ImNotJohn] YES, a single specific object.
Made of wood?
[Quendalon] Come to a pilg and play it in person. It's much harder that way!
[Darren] (the judges confer) Partially, if not wholly. What's a pilg?
smaller than a telephone box?
[Quendalon] 'pilg' is a shortened form of 'pilgrimage' which describes any occasion when members of this community actually meet up and well ... erm ... y'know the sort of thing. There are some fine archives of Pilgs in OrangeMC - just look under Local Information in the index, then click on MC, then click on Pilgrims. Also there is a Chat Game called 'To be A Pilgrim' which may give you some insight.
Is it an item of furniture?
Pilgs (short for pilgrimages) are when we all go to a particular place to meet up and play games in person. We do them usually a few times a year, mostly to the Head of Steam pub in London, plus the big one which has, up to this year, taken place in Rugby, where we make a weekend of it. The last one took place earlier this month. (Next year's is likely to be closer to Leicester.) See the game "To Be a Pilgrim" on Orange for more info. And I was simulposted by Chalky.
Ah, okay. Unfortunately a pilg is unlikely as I'm across the water and in poor financial straits besides. Alas!

[Chalky] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.
[Darren] No, not an item of furniture.
smaller than a toaster?
[Chalky] You could probably fit it into a toaster with some effort.
Is it connected with the arts?
[Darren] Not directly, no.
Is this object in Europe?
Does it stand for anything?
Connected with sport?
The judges have rebuked me for providing incorrect information. Contrary to one of my answers to Darren, the subject does not currently contain any wood; moreover, it contains an ABSTRACT component. One judge testily observed that I should not have taken on such a complicated subject for my first time around.

[Darren] The item currently asserted to be the subject is in Europe, yes.
[Projoy] It has powerful symbolic value to many.
[ImNotJohn] NO, not connected with sport.
Connected with religion?
[Darren] YES, connected with religion. (applause)
The Burning Bush?
Is it some sort of acoutrement?
Is the religion Christianity?
[Phil] The Burning Bush? No. [Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of. [Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.
Let's try that again, with line breaks this time!

[Phil] The Burning Bush? No.
[Projoy] An accoutrement? Um... sort of.
[Darren] YES, the religion is Christianity.
Worn on the head?
The Turin Shroud?
The Sudarium of Oviedo?
[Projoy] Worn on the head? YES. (more applause)
[Raak] The Shroud of Turin? No.
[Darren] I've never even heard of the Sudarium of Oviedo, so no. :-)
The Spear of Longinus?
Oops, missed the q about worn on the head.
The Pope's hat?
Worn by a living person?
The Sudarium of Oviedo is a piece of cloth said to have been placed on Jesus' face shortly after the crucifixion, and bears stains believed to be the blood of Christ. So now you know.
Crown of Thorns?
[Phil] No wood in it, apparently, "these days".
[Raak] Papal tiara? No.
[Darren] Worn by a living person? No.
[Phil] Crown of Thorns? YES. (the audience cheers)

Over to you, Phil!
[Quen] Ah. Cool. But what did you mean by "the subject does not currently contain any wood" - as in, it doesn't currently exist?
[Quen] I agree with Projoy's point there. If you're saying it doesn't currently exist, then why weren't the other questions answered in the same way? "Is it an accoutrement? Not right now. Is it a single specific object? Not any more." That may seem pedantic, but this is an MC site, after all!
For once I'll ignore pedantry and celebrate my magnificent victory with at least one mug of coffee :)

Next item for your illation is ANIMAL

Living?
[irach] Living? YES
Human?
[Darren] Human? YES
Male?
A politician?
Over 40?
British?
[Projoy] Male? YES
[Rosie] Politician? YES
[Quendalon] Over 40? YES
[Inkspot] British? NO
European?
[Inkspot] European? YES *Audience wonders if 6 Yesses out of 7 is a new record*
An official of the EU?
Berlusconi?
working to get the average down
Nicolas Sarkozy?
Eastern European (i.e. east of the old iron curtain)?
A president?
American?
Putin?
[Raak] EU Official? NO
[CdM] Berlusconi? NO
[Irouléguy] Sarkozy? NO
[Projoy] E. Europe? NO
[Inkspot] A president? NO
[Kim] American? NO
[irach] Putin? NO
*Audience wishes it had kept its collective gob shut*
Member of a centre-left party?
French?
Currently head of state?
Irish?
As distinct from British.
Currently in the news?
A grandee, i.e. semi-retired?
A member of a party currently in government?
Scandinavian?
Can't blame me for asking.
[Inkspot] Centre-left party? NO (carefully)
[Chalky] French? NON
[irach] Head of state? NO (again,carefully)
[Darren] Irish? YES *applause*
[Raak] In the news? In his own country, yes.
[Rosie] Semi-retired? NO
[Irouléguy] In government? YES
[Néa] Scandinavian? NO
Bertie Ahern?
[Projoy] Pádraig Parthalán Ó hEachthairn (aka Patrick Bartholomew "Bertie" Ahern)? YES
I had to tread carefully around the "centre-left" as Fianna Fail was originally a centre-left party, but is no longer. Also, as Taoiseach, he's not a head of state, just a head of government. An Uachtarán (Mary McAleese) is the head of state.
Congrats to Projoy! - actually he was slightly in the news recently, as I saw him on TV on Sunday at the Ryder Cup.
OK. ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE and ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
[Darren] Fictional? Strictly speaking, this is a N/A. But YES will probably be more helpful.
Connected with religion?
[Quen] Connected with religion? NO, not really.
A figure of speech?
Is the animal connection human?
Is the vegetable connection wood?
A fictitious creature?
[Ink] Figure of speech? NO
[INJ} Human animal connection: YES
[Kim] Veg connection wood? NO
[Raak] A fictitious creature? NO.
Something symbolic?
A place?
Connected with the arts?
[Raak] Symbolic? NOT REALLY
[Chalky] A place? NO
[Quen] Connected with the arts? YES
The performing arts?
[INJ] performing arts? NO.
A painting?
[Projoy] A daub? NO.
[Darren] See previous comment to myself.
[Projoy] You must stop doing that, you know. First sign of madness.
[Projoy] Ooh. Look who's talking!
Connected with sculpture?
Is it a style?
[Raak] Sculpture? NO
[Quen] Style? NO
Is it an organisation of some sort?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a period of art history?
[Chalky] Organisation, NO
[Quen] A work of art, YES
[Darren] Period of art history, NO
Simon Patterson's 'The Great Bear'?
[Chalky] Simon and his amazing dancing tube map? NO.
Is it a work of fiction?
[Q] A work of fiction? YES (and it's therefore fictional in the sense its content is fictional, but also non-fictional in the sense that it exists (the opposite, one might say, of Causabon's Key to All Mythologies or the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)
)
Written in the 20th century?
[Darren] C20th? Yes.
Author British?
[irach] Brit author? YES.
A comic strip?
[Ink] Comic strip, NO.
A humourous novel?
Has it won a major literary prize?
A C.S. Lewis work?
[Kim] humorous? NO
[Ink] Prizewinning? NO * a couple of lowbrow titters from the audience*
[irach] Lewis? NO * a couple of erudite titters from the audience*
First published since 1945?
Tolkien?
"Leaf by Niggle"
...?
A poem?
Made into a movie or TV series?
[INJ] published since 1945? NO
[Raak] Tolkien? Leaf by Niggle? NO
[Inkspot] Pome? NO
[irach] Made into a movie/TV series? YES and YES.
[INJ] PS. There is a sort-of case to be made for a YES answer to your question in addition to NO.
A series of books?
Are the vegetable and animal referred to in the title?
Was the author born before 1900?
In the genre of fantasy?
[Rosie] A series? NO *some chuckles from the audience at the thought of it*
[Raak] References in the title to the vegetable? NO. Or the animal? YES.
[Inkspot] Natally prior to first New York Electric Buses? YES
[Quen] Fantasy genre? *appreciative laughter and clapping from the audience* NO.
Science fiction?
Is the title the name of a major character?
SciFi? NO *a more contemplative mood steals over the audience, some smiling wryly but privately at this thought, others casting their eyes down and listening with a neutral expression*
[Darren] Title the name of a major character? *some of the audience look up. Two people bite their bottom lips.* NO.
(To be more useful...) Does the title contain the name of a major character?
First published before 1930?
Is the author male?
Was it written for children?
[Darren] Eponymity? YES
[Quen] Published before 1930, YES
[ir] Male author? YES
[Ink] Written for children? *much laughter from the audience* NO.
[Darren] Er, I meant broad eponymity, rather than narrow, YES.
Pornographic?
[Phil] Pr0nographic? YES *applause*
Lady Chatterley's Lover?
Quendalon must be right. I trust he/she has a pornograph.
Would you want your wife or servants...?
[Quendalon] Indeed, YES!. Lady C and John Thomas it is.
[Projoy] What was the vegetable connection? Is there a notorious scene set in the kitchen garden, involving provocatively-shaped parsnips?
[Raak] Lady Chatterley's Lover is a novel, thus printed on paper.
(well, until recent digital innovations)
Incidentally, I'd never noticed before that the prosecution's "wife or servants" remark, although it certainly was out of touch, is a rhetorical way of activating the jealousy of rich husbands. Don't put ideas in their heads, it suggests, or you too may be cuckolded. Had always assumed before now it was just a general appeal to protect the weak-minded from moral corruption.
[Projoy] I was going to guess LC'sL, but the wry smiles at the Sci-fi question put me off...
[Phil] They were just the more imaginative members of the audience picturing the whole thing done in foil suits on a flying saucer.
For your pleasure: ABSTRACT
All together now... A human construct?
[Projoy] Human construct? YES.
A philosophy?
[Projoy] I think I've seen that website ;-)
To do with science?
[Projoy] You know, there is such a thing as being too imaginative.
[Phil] A philosophy? NO.
[Darren] Related to science? NO.
Connected with emotion?
Related to the arts?
[Darren] Connected with emotion? YES. (laughter from the audience)
[ImNotJohn] Related to the arts? YES. (more laughter)
An emotion?
[Darren] It least it was foil not fur ;-)
[Phil] An emotion? NO.
A type of comedy?
[Raak] A type of comedy? NO.
An action?
[Inkspot] An action? NO.
Connected with positive emotions?
[Projoy] Connected with positive emotions? YES. (another giggle from the audience)
Connected with sex?
Going by the giggles and titters.
Hm. Human construct. Connected with fetishes?
[Darren] Connected with sex? NO. (The audience is giggling because the last three YES answers, while technically correct, are all somewhat misleading. It's not a nice audience.)
[Projoy] Connected with fetishes? In the supernatural (not sexual) sense, YES.
To do with religion?
Is this specific to a particular culture?
Worship of some unusual object or event?
[Raak] To do with religion? NO, not really.
[Irouléguy] Specific to a particular culture? In its original incarnation, YES; in its modern incarnation, NO.
[Rosie] Worship of some unusual object or event? NO.

To clarify things a bit: the ABSTRACT in question experienced a shift in use and meaning over time. The connection with emotion and the supernatural apply only to the original version, not the current one.

(Next time I choose an object for AVMA, it'll be something simple like a tomato.)
Feng Shui?
[Chalky] Feng Shui? NO.
To do with language?
[Projoy] To do with language? YES. (the audience cheers)
To do with magic?
Swearing?
[Projoy] To do with magic? Originally, sometimes. Now, no.
[Rosie] Swearing? No.
A particular form of words?
Any medical connection?
[Projoy] Words? NO. [Rosie] Medical connection? NO.
Anything to do with casting out devils?
[Rosie] Casting out devils? NO.

I suspect that I have put people on the wrong track, so if anyone would like a hint, let me know.
Something ceremonial?
Far too early for a hint, yet.
Is the culture that this was originally specific to an Asian one?
[Darren] Ceremonial? NO.
[Irouléguy] From an Asian culture? NO.
An inscription?
[Rosie] Inscription? Sometimes, though not so often in the modern day.
To do with death?
An obituary?
An epitaph?
[Darren] To do with death? NO.
[ImNotJohn] An obituary? NO.
[Rosie] An epitaph? NO.
To do with war or the military?
scepticism?
[Quendalon] Rather than a hint - please can you do a summary. It may help us realign ourselves :-)
[Irouléguy] To do with war or the military? NO.
[Chalky] Skepticism? NO.
And now to summarize! I’ll also correct a couple of my own answers where I think I may have misread or misinterpreted your questions. So:

This abstract is a human construct. It was once specific to a particular culture, though not an Asian culture. It has to do with language, but it is not a particular form of words.

It is not an emotion, a philosophy, a type of comedy, an action, an epitaph or obituary, or Feng Shui.

It is not inherently connected to science, to swearing, to sex, to religion, to the worship of some unusual object or event, to medicine, to casting out devils, to death, to war or the military, or to skepticism.

Notably, the subject has experienced a shift in use over time. Originally, it had a connection with positive emotion, was often inscribed (in the sense of being etched into a solid surface), and was sometimes connected with magic. These all still apply when the subject is put to its original use. In its modern use, it has no connection with positive emotion or magic, and is still inscribed in the sense of being written down, though rarely (if ever) in the sense of being etched into a solid surface.
Is it writing?
A swastika?
Wait, not Asian. Nevermind.
Is it a symbol of some kind?
Is it Aboriginal?
[Darren] We've already established that it is something that is written; if you're asking if the subject is the overall concept of 'writing', then NO.
[Projoy] Is it a symbol of some kind? YES. (cheers from the audience)
[Dazed5] Is it Aboriginal... assuming you're talking about Australian aborigines here, then NO.
Might I find it on my keyboard somewhere?
A Greek letter?
[Projoy] I can't speak for your keyboard, but it's not on mine.
[Rosie] A Greek letter? NO.
Is it a rune?
Might I find it on the ASCII character map for a regular Western font?
Does it have a Unicode definition?
A trademark?
A hieroglyph ?
[Kim] Is it a rune? YES.
[Projoy] On the ASCII character map for a regular Western font? Uncertain, but I've checked several common fonts and haven't been able to find it.
[Raak] Does it have a Unicode definition? YES.
[Chalky] A trademark? NO.
[Inkspot] A hieroglyph? NO.
The Star of David?
[Raak] Star of David? NO.
Is it any sort of star shape?
[Raak] Not a star shape, no.
Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape (ie. any loops or closed polygonal components)?
[Darren] Does it have any completely enclosed areas in its shape? YES.
Triangle?
[irach] Is it a triangle? NO.
An ankh?
A cross of any sort?
Does it turn up in the regular Wingdings font?
Did it originate in the middle east?
[ImNotJohn] An ankh? NO.
[Raak] A cross of some sort? NO.
[Projoy] In Wingdings? I don't believe so.
[Inkspot] Did it originate in the Middle East? NO.

(You guys are drifting off the track; I suspect you're misreading one of the recent answers. Would you like me to provide clarification?)
From the Futhark?
Runic letter Sowilo?
[Projoy] Originally from the Futhark? Elder Futhark, YES. Younger Futhark, NO.
[Inkspot] Sowilo? NO.
(which I think is called odal or othalan)
<>< ?
(oooops)
From the Freyr/Freyja's Aett?
As opposed to the Heimdall's Aett or Tyr's Aett
[CdM] Odal/Othalan? NO.
[Inkspot] Freyr/Freyja's Aett? YES.
Thorn?
[Raak] Thorn? NO.
Kenaz (the leading light)?
Wunjo?
[irach] Kenaz? NO.
[Inkspot] Wunjo/Wynn? YES. (cheers from the crowd)

Over to you, Inkspot...
... and I haven't the foggiest what all that was about. :) heyho
Yes, that was painfully obscure. My apologies! All I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time. :-p
[Inkspot] If I were you, I'd select a steam engine.
*is an unapologetic obscurist*
from the home of Steam
A win there with a little help from others, and learnt a little about runes in the process.

So a Abstract with Animal and Vegetable connections

Anything to do with cookery?
Is the animal connection human?
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe?
[Raak]- no
[Chalky] - yes
[Kim] - no
out of practice
[Raak] - Anything to do with cookery? NO
[Chalky] - Is the animal connection human?YES
[Kim] - The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe? NO
To do with the arts?
just not a morning person
There is a Mineral connection so...
The clue should have read Abstract with Animal, Mineral and Vegetable connections

ImNotJohn - To do with the arts? NO
To do with sports?
[Raak] - To do with sports? NO
Is the animal connection a fictional human or humans?
[Irouléguy] - Is the animal connection a fictional human?YES ripple of applause from the audience
Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue?
[Phil] - Does the fictional aspect account for the "abstract" part of the clue? YES A whispering murmur from the audience
Is the fictional aspect from a novel?
[Irouléguy] Is the fictional aspect from a novel? YES several members of the audience about to go to the bar for a shandy return to their seats
Was the novel written more recently than 1900?
Written since 1950?
Written by a British writer?
Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?
[Quendalon] - Was the novel written more recently than 1900? YES
[Projoy] - Written since 1950? YES
[ImNotJohn] - Written by a British writer?NO
[Chalky] - Are the vegetable and mineral bits mentioned in the title - or are they the paper and ink part of the novel?
NO and YES to in the title and paper as the vegetable YES (had not considered the ink when setting the clue but yes it is printed with ink but was not part of the clue)
Written since 1980?
[Inkspot] Just to clarify: the VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title?
[Quendalon] Written since 1980? Yes and NO wry smiles litter the audience

clarification:VEGETABLE component is the paper, and the MINERAL component is part of the title? YES
Is this a series of stories?
[Chalky] Is this a series of stories? YES loud applause from the audience
Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?
Just managed to track down the one-volume compendium - well pleased.
[Irouléguy]Spider Robinson's 'Callahan's bar' stories?NO an exited Oooooooooooh from the audience
Is the mineral stone?
[Raak]Is the mineral stone? NO
Is the mineral metal?
[Chalky]Is the mineral metal? YES cheers from the audience
Is the mineral gold?
Lord of the Rings?
The Book of Lost Tales?
Fits the 1980 thing better.
[Kim] Is the mineral gold?No
[Raak] Lord of the Rings?No
[Raak ] The Book of Lost Tales?No
the audience sit back back into their seats
Is it science fiction/fantasy?
[Raak] Is it science fiction/fantasy?YES the bell rings in the bar the audience quickly pile back into their seats
Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title?
[Quendalon]Is the fictional human that forms the "animal" component also part of the title? YES some argy-bargy in the audience as some laughing pedants are calling out NO
Just one human?
[Projoy] Just one human? YES the audience rise from their slumber
Is it a trilogy?
[Quendalon] Is it a trilogy? NO
Has it been made into a film?
Harry Harrison's 'Stainless steel rat' series?
Inspired by the answer to Quendalon's penultimate question.
[Raak] Has it been made into a film?NO

Irouléguy raucous cheers and foot stomping from the audience YES It is the Stainless Steel Rat from the series written by Harry Harrison. Over to you.
A series I've always meant to look at, and never got round to. Good game, good game! Our next is ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Fictional?
Is the "animal" human?
Raak] Fictional? No
Quendalon] Is the "animal" human? Yes
Is this some class of people?
Connected with emotion?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
One day I'm going to be right
A lion's share?
Raak] Is this some class of people? No
Darren] Connected with emotion? Connected with, no; provoking, possibly...
ImNotJohn] Anarcho-syndicalism? There's a great day a-comin' - but not today
irach] A lion's share? See the answer to Quendalon
An event?
Is there more than one of it?
(Incidentally, feel free to answer "meaningless" to that if such an answer would be.)
Is the "animal" a specific human?
Does this involve an association of people?
Is it an office that a person can hold?
Inkspot] An event? *applause YES
Darren] Is there more than one of it? Yes, though there can only be one at a time.
Quendalon] Is the "animal" a specific human? Yes, but not necessarily the same one.
Rosie] Does this involve an association of people? *more applause* An association of people is a necessary but not sufficent condition for this.
Raak] Is it an office that a person can hold? *some quickly stifled giggles* No.
A ceremonial event?
A sporting event?
Is it connected to a date on the calender?
Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated?
Raak] A ceremonial event? No
Chalky] A sporting event? No
Inkspot] Is it connected to a date on the calender? No
Darren] Is it an event with which people are generally pleased to be associated? Yes
Does it involve some common interest of the participants?
Raak] Does it involve some common interest of the participants? Sorry, I simmed. I'm going to answer 'no', as that's the most useful answer, I think.
A party?
Rosie] A party? No (neither sense)
Is it planned in advance?
A birth?
A birthday?
Darren] Is it planned in advance? Er...yes and no
ImNotJohn] A birth? No
Quendalon - A birthday? No
Connected with employment?
Connected with money?
Quendalon] Connected with employment? No
Darren] Connected with money? No
A school reunion?
Raak] A school reunion? No
Is it astronomical?
Inkspot] Is it astronomical? Startlingly, no
To do with the Internet?
Have most people experienced this at some point?
Raak] To do with the Internet? *applause* In practice, yes (though this could in theory happen offline as well).
Darren] Have most people experienced this at some point? No
A chatroom?
Associated with a particular website?
Rosie] A chatroom? No
Darren] Associated with a particular website? My experience of it is on one particular website, but I don't know if it originated there
Associated with a particular culture(s)?
To do with playing games on the Internet?
To do with MC websites?
A blind date?
Quendalon] Associated with a particular culture(s)? Broadly, yes
Raak - To do with playing games on the Internet? *applause YES
Darren - To do with MC websites? *louder applause, whistling and cheers* YES
Chalky - A blind date? No
mc5?
AVMA?
The game of Mornington Crescent?
I hope this doesn't blow a fuse, so to speak.
Raak - mc5? *stamping of feet, cries of 'bravo'* Yes
Darren] AVMA? *stunned silence from the audience, distracted by a replay of Paul Robinson's error on the giant screens above the stage* YES!
Rosie] The game of Mornington Crescent? *deflated sighs* No
The Morniverse?
Assuming that none of the preceding was the winning move.
Raak] The Morniverse? No.

Sorry, I was reading the preceding moves as prefaced by 'To do with...'. To clarify the over-enthusiastic audience response, the answer is to do with this site, specifically AVMA (it doesn't occur in any other current game on this site), though it almost certainly occurs on other websites, and could in theory occur in the realiverse.
An audience?
Raak] An audience? No
A correct guess?
Darren] A correct guess? *the audience holds its breath* Almost - the answer is a particular sort of correct guess.
A correct guess on the first move?
The answer to this question?
In danger of disappearing up its own logical fundament.
Darren - A correct guess on the first move? *older members of the audience are turning purple waiting to exhale* No
ImnotJohn - The answer to this question? It could be
An accidental correct guess?
Darren - An accidental correct guess? It could be
Hint - the initials have another, very different, meaning elsewhere in the Morniverse.
The winning move?
Rosie - The winning move? Yes, but... Not every winning move is one of these.
A lurker's victory?
*the audience exhales noisily, too breathless to cheer* YES - a lurker's victory it is (it seemed like a good idea when I set it). Darren, the baton's all yours.
This particular round is...
MINERAL
Begins with P?
[Irouléguy] Nice one. I did consider setting "the next answer" when I actually got a go, but chickened out ;)
[Tuj] Begins with P? One of the words does.
Is there just one of these?
[Raak] Just one of these? No.
Are there 2 words on the card?
[Tuj] Two words on the card? Indeed.
Does it occur in nature?
[Quendalon] Does it occur in nature? No.
Does it involve electricity?
Does it have any moving parts?
Is the mineral metal?
A frisbee?
Is it a man made mass produced item?
[Rosie] Does it involve electricity? Yes.
[Quendalon] Does it have any moving parts? Yes. (misleading?)
[ImNotJohn] Is the mineral metal? Not entirely.
[Irouléguy] No.
[Inkspot] Is it a man made mass produced item? Yes.
is the non-metal part a liquid?
[ImNotJohn] Is the non-metal part a liquid? No.
A buzzer?
Is the first of the words on the card "A"?
A pylon?
[Rosie] Buzzer? No.
[Raak] Is the first of the words "A"? No.
[Projoy] Pylon? No.
Is entertainment its primary purpose?
[Quendalon] Primary purpose=entertainment? No.
Is it connected with writing?
[Raak] Connected with writing? No.
Is it connected with travel?
Was it invented in the last hundred years?
[Quendalon] Is it connected with travel? Yes!
[Tuj] Was it invented in the last hundred years? Yes!
Parking meter?
[Quendalon] Parking meter? No.
To do with flying?
[Raak] To do with flying? No.
Does one take this on one's travels?
Is it a component of a larger object?
Was it invented before 1960?
To do with computers?
[Rosie] Does one take this on one's travels? Certain travels, yes.
[Quendalon] Is it a component of a larger object? No.
[Inkspot]Was it invented before 1960? No.
[Tuj] To do with computers? Well... yes, but, in a more meaningful sense, no.
Mobile phone?
[Irouléguy] Mobile phone? No.
Invented in the last decade?
[Tuj] Invented in the last decade? Probably not. (Sorry to be imprecise on that one, but although they've only become common recently I wouldn't be surprised if they'd existed in, say, the 1980s.)
Is it a container?
[Inkspot] Is it a container? No.
Is one of the words "portable"?
[Quendalon] Is one of the words "portable"? No.
Is the purpose of this device entertainment?
GPS Navigation system?
Does it involve superconductivity?
[Rosie] Purpose=entertainment? No. (See Quendalon's question earlier.)
[irach] GPS? No.
[Quendalon] Does it involve superconductivity? No.
An electronic device?
[Raak] Electronic device? Yes.
A digital camera?
A data projector?
[Rosie] Digital camera? No.
[Raak] Data projector? No.
A communication device?
Is it a conduit of some sort?
One of those fancy car keys?
Sorry about the imprecision - I drive a banger.
Is it required for travelling abroad?
A mobile phone?
[Raak] A communication device? No.
[Quendalon] A conduit of some sort? No. (Well, unless you meant in a very abstracted sense!)
[Rosie] Fancy car keys? No.
[Inkspot] Required for travelling abroad? No.
[Tuj] Mobile phone? No. (See Irouléguy's question earlier.)
Connected with road travel specifically?
[INJ] Connected with road travel specifically? No.
Is it something a traverrler would carry?
Biometric Passport?
A credit card?
[Inkspot] Is it something a traverrler would carry? Depends what a "traverrler" is.
[ImNotJohn] Biometric Passport? No.
[Rosie] Credit card? No.
Is it connected to hygiene?
Packing bags till the next game.
A "traverrler" is someone that ends up at the wrong destination.
[Quendalon] Is it connected to hygiene? No.
[Inkspot] I wasn't trying to be pedantic - I thought it might be a word I didn't know.
Is it connected to vehicles?
[Quendalon] Is it connected to vehicles? Definitely not.
A clock of some sort?
Connected with computer software?
[Raak] A clock of some sort? Part of it is, usually.
[Quendalon] Connected with computer software? Only in the sense that it contains some.
Time for a recap, methinks.
What we know so far:

It contains two words. One begins with P. Neither word is simply "a," or "portable."

It's a man-made mass produced electronic device, and there is more than one of it. It does not occur in nature. It has parts which move. Its construction involves metal (among other things), but no liquids. It is not a component of a larger object. It does not involve superconductivity. It was invented (as a whole item) some time after 1980, although the basic principles it uses were known long before that (that's a new hint). It usually includes a clock of some sort, and would contain a computer program within it.

It is not primarily for entertainment, nor is it connected with writing. It's nothing to do with hygiene.

It is connected with travel, but not flying or vehicles. You would take it on certain travels. It is not required for travelling abroad, nor is it specific to road travel.

It is not a frisbee, a buzzer, a pylon, a parking meter, a mobile phone, a container, a GPS navigation system, a digital camera, a data projector, a conduit, fancy car keys, a biometric passport, or a credit card.

Does the "P" stand for "personal"?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A pedometer?
[Rosie] "P" stands for "personal"? No.
[Rosie] Smaller than a toaster? Yes.
[Raak] A pedometer? Yes!!!! (But that's not all. You've only got one of the words on the card. I'm looking for a pedometer with an extra feature.)
The second answer there was directed at Projoy, not Rosie. Sorry.
A digital pedometer?
A pedometer mounted in a shoe?
[Raak 1] Digital pedometer? Well, it is, but that's not the special feature I'm after.
[Raak 2] Mounted in a shoe? No.
A talking pedometer?
[Raak] Talking pedometer? YES!!!
So, it's over to Raak for the next round!
I never knew there were such things.

The next is MINERAL or VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it mass-produced?
A stairway to heaven?
Begins with P?
[Q] Mass-produced? No.
[I] Not a stairway to heaven.
[T] Does not begin with P.
Min or Veg = metal or wood?
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[R] Not metal/wood.
[C] Not associated with a particular country or culture.
Is it a liquid?
Is the mineral water?
[I, I] Not liquid, not water.
Does it have religious significance?
Does it have religious significance?
(Sorry, putting it in the right hole.)
[D] No religious significance.
(Ignore the fundamentalist crank in the audience raving to the contrary.)
Is it an item of clothing?
[C] Not clothing.
Is it an implement of some kind?
[K] Not an implement.
Any moving parts?
[I] No moving parts.
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[Q] Not bigger than a breadbox.
Is it associated with a time of the year?
[I] Not associated with a time of the year.
Is it edible?
[C] Not edible.
Clarifying a previous answer re metal/wood: never any metal, possibly some wood.
Is the possible mineral stone?
[I] Not stone.
A gas/plasma?
We've eliminated metal, liquid, stone - what else is there.....
[I] Not gas or plasma.
There are plenty of other forms of mineral.
Does this occur naturally?
[I] Does not occur naturally.
ship in a bottle?
[j] Not a ship in a bottle.

Ready for a clue yet?

Plastic?
[R] Yes!
Is there only one of these?
(I assume mineral/vegetable because plastic can be made from either of these)
[I] There are many.
Actually, I was thinking of plastics as made primarily from petrochemicals (i.e. mineral), although having checked I see that vegetable substances are still used..
Is it flexible?
Odd that it's plastic but is not mass produced...
[Q] It is flexible.
A credit or debit card?
Is it connected to the arts?
[R] (hopeful murmurs in the audience) Not a credit or debit card.
[Q] Not connected to the arts.
Is it essentially flat?
i.e. 2 of the dimensions are several times greater than the third.
[I] It is flat.
Used in a game?
[I] Not used in a game.
A loyalty card?
A mouse mat?
A driver's license?
[C] (more interested murmurs from the audience) Not a loyalty card, or a driver's licence.
[I] (stony stares) Not a mouse mat.
Is it a card one would need to sign?
Is it used for identification?
Is it decorative?
[C] It might be.
[I] (singing and dancing breaks out) YES.
[INJ] No.
An identity card?
Always go for the obvious, I say.
[P] Papers please? YES. An identity card.
OK, a fairly straightforward one: ANIMAL
Mammal?
human?
Hmmm. An interesting answer to the mass-produced? question.
Here's another thought - when does vegetable become mineral if we talk about say peat, lignite, coal?
[INJ] An ID card may be produced in large numbers, but by definition it cannot be mass-produced. I'd classify peat as vegetable, lignite and coal as mineral. A seashel is mineral with animal connections.
Alive?
[Q] Mammal - YES
[INJ] Human - YES
[Raak] Alive - N/A
[Raak] Actually, I'll very slightly shift the answer as otherwise the category is wrong (i.e. it would be ABSTRACT too), so I would now answer YES.
A head of state?
Some kind of job title?
[Queen, er, Quen] Head of state - NO
[Toozh] Job title - NO
[Tuj] Oh, and just to save time, it doesn't begin with a P.
The man on the Clapham omnibus?
A particular individual?
male?
[Raak] I possess several mass-produced identity cards.
Connected to religion?
[Rosie] Claphambusman - NO
[Ig] An individual - NO
[INJ] Male? Hmmm, a not very convinced YES
[Ink] Religious connection - NO
Fictional?
A generic description?
[Ig] Fictional - NO
[Rosie] Generic - NO
Begins with R?
[Projoy] Your free information gives me a bonus question!
[Tuj] Begins with R - NO :)
A particular group of individuals?
[Tuj] Group of individuals - NO
Sperm?
[Quen] Spermatozoa - NO
MC related?
[Tuj] MC related - NO, not really
A body part or parts?
[Ig] body part - YES *applause*
The brain (going by the earlier "not very convinced YES")?
A body part of a specific person?
My Left Foot?
[Ink] Brain - NO
[Raak] specific person - YES
[INJ] Your left foot - NO
Is this a proverbially useless thing?
A transplanted organ?
[Raak] not at all proverbial, although arguably somewhat useless
[Inkspot] transplanted organ - NO
A limb?
[Ig] A limb - NO
Does the arguable uselessness stem from the incompetence with which the specific individual uses this body part?
[Rosie] Does the arguable... NO
A vestigial organ?
Is the organ's owner British?
Appendix?
[Raak] vestigial organ - NO
[Ig] British owner - YES
[ir] Coda - NO
A public figure?
[Raak] public figure - NO
My arse?
My Arse my arse.
Someone's arse?
Foucault's Pendulum?
*snigger*
Is the first word on the card a pronoun?
[Rosie/Ig] Nobody's arse
[Kim] Big, swinging dangly thing - NO
[Tuj] Pronoun appears in the answer? NO
*hint - I only made it belong to someone in particular to stop it having to be classified as abstract*
Somebody's bald patch?
Is it in/on the upper half of the body?
Is it connected to one of the senses?
Is it an implant of some kind?
[Raak] Bald patch - NO
[Ig] Upper half - YES (yay, deductive questioning!)
[Ink] connected to a sense - well, YES, but not in the way I suspect you mean. It's not a sense organ.
[Chalky] Implant - NO
Is it above the collar bone?
Would it be normally visible, if one were in this person's presence and not on intimate terms with them?
Could it be removed without doing permanent harm?
Does this person have a particular connection to you?
Is it smaller than an egg cup?
Are you the person who is attached to this body part?
[Ink] Above collar bone - NO
[Raak] visible - NO
[INJ] Could it be removed without permanent harm - depends a bit on your definition of harm, but essentially YES
[Ig] A connection to me? YES
[Chalky] Smaller than an egg cup - NO
[Chalky again] Am I attached? YES *applause*
Your spleen?
[Raak] My spleen - NO *collective intake of breath
Your tonsils?
[Ig] Tonsils - NO (as a matter of fact, I parted company with those some 26 years ago).
Is the answer an idiomatic phrase?
Gallbladder?
[Rosie] Not idiomatic
[irach] Projoy's Gallbladder - YES! - I was originally going to just go with "the human gallbladder" but quickly realised that in terms of specific/generic questions that was going to be more trouble that it's worth. *hands the baton to irach*
Here we go again.... The next one is simply ANIMAL.
Human?
[Quendalon] Human? Yes.
Alive?
[Chalky] No, not alive. Dead as a doornail.
Male?
[INJ] Male? Yes.
Born in the last 500 years?
[Raak] No, born earlier than 500 year ago.
European?
[Inkspot] Yes, European.
Regal?
[Projoy] Surely "Projoy's gallbladder" begin's with a P? And it can't be "my gallbladder" as you said there was no pronoun on the card...
[Tuj]. Yes. Certainly of regal stature.
Charlemagne?
A royal?
[Tuj] I was using my real name on the card :P
British?
Was he ugly?
[Quendalon] Not Charlemagne.
[Irouleguy] Not a royal.
[Darren] No, not British.
[Chalky] Ugly? Not that I know of, or in historical depictions. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, anyway.
Nostradamus?
Begins with P?
[Projoy] :D perfect answer
...unless you're bluffing...
Middle Eastern?
[Chalky] Not Nostradamus.
[Tuj] No "P" beginnings.
[Rosie] Not Middle Eastern.
An author?
Famous for an invention/discovery?
born before 1000CE?
An artist?
[Raak] Not an author.
[Tuj} Not famous for an invention or discovery
[INJ] Born before 1000 CE? Yes.
[Inkspot] Not an artist.
A north european?
A religious leader?
[Inkspot] Not Northern European.
[Chalky] Not a religious leader.
Was he born after 43 AD?
Julius Caesar?
[Inkspot] No, born before 43AD.
[Rosie] Et tu, Rosie? You are correct!!! YES!!! Julius Caesar it is!
Heavens to Murgatroyd, I've won! *Lies down for a few minutes*

That's better. This is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections. Only very tangentially associated with steam engines, and then only a few types. Hope that narrows the field a bit.

Is the animal connection a bird?
Bravo.
Phoenix rising from the ashes?
Is the animal connection human?
(Tuj) - No bird connection
irach - Imaginative, but wrong, alas
(Projoy) Can be a human connection, but certainly not necessarily.
Perhaps we should forget about the very tangential association with the iron horse, which is not helpful, and which I'll explain at the end.
Connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Most definitely not connected with the arts.
An invention?
(Raak) - Not an invention.
Connected with mathematics?
(Projoy) - No connection with mathematics.
A human invention?
(Tuj) Not any kind of invention. See Raak's question.
A process?
A group of animals?
(Quendalon) - Not really, but a process, in the broad sense, is involved.
(Irouléguy) - Not a group of animals.
Connected with movement?
Begins with P?
[Rosie] Sorry for wasting your time with that. I'll learn to read.
(Quendalon) - Not connected with movement. *audience bursts into laughter*
Something to do with death?
Sleep?
(Raak) - Nothing to do with death.
(Quendalon) - Not sleep.
Is this fictional?
(Irg) - Not fictional.
A turn of phrase?
Was my last qeustion so predictable as to be ignored?
Is the animal connected to a particular part of tthe world?
(Tuj) Sorry - all I saw was your apology, now it's my turn. Does not begin with P.
(Inkspot) - No regional connection.
(Tuj) - Not a turn of phrase.
A human construct?
Is the animal connection a human?
[Rosie] I think I should stop bothering you - I'm jst confusing you and the answer to my question's always no :P
(CdM) - No, not a human construct.
(Tuj) - This question, too, was asked early on by Projoy.
Connected with biology?
(Quendalon) - Yes, biology is involved.
Is the non-human animal a particular animal?
Connected with the absence of movement?
(Irg) - No, not a particular animal.
(Raak) - Yes, connected with absence of movement. *applause, and some smiles, from the audience*
An action taken by an animal?
Dreams?
Does the animal connection refer to a specific attribute or behaviour of the animal?
(Qunedalon) - No, not an action.
(Raak) - Not dreams.
(irach) - No, not an attitude or behaviour on the part of the animal.
Connected with food?
(Quendalon) - Connected with food? Yes.
A pig that wants to be eaten?
A diet?
Ruminating?
Bringing home the bacon?
(Quendalon) - Not a diet.
(Irg) - Not ruminating, but the closest yet.
(irach) - Not bringing home the bacon.
Digestion?
*ahem*
Farting?
(Quendalon) - Not digestion.
(Raak) - Not "ahem" if I read you right.
(irach) - Not farting.
Constipation?
CONSTIPATION! Irouléguy has it! (The answer, I mean). Well done. The Lactulose is handed over to YOU.
Thanks, Rosie. WOO-HOO! On the throne again, so to speak. Our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT again, but no connection with the previous answer (well, almost no connection…)
Is the animal connection human?
Quendalon] Is the animal connection human? Yes

Rosie] What was the steam engine connection?
A single animal?
I gave up on asking Rosie questions, I wasn't very good at it... Sorry Rosie.
A specific named human?
Tuj] A single animal? No
irach] A specific named human? *applause* Yes and no
Fictional?
An expression?
A society of some sort?
Is the human alive today?
(Irouléguy) I'd just been re-reading an autobiography of an outstanding engineer who described a very numerous and apparently popular class of engine has having a "thoroughly constipated front end" (sic), i.e. the exhaust passages were too long and tortuous and much energy was absorbed in just getting rid of the used steam. I'd always thought these locos were crap and I only found out near the end of the steam era, when this book was published, that this was true. Not much relevance to AVMA, as you can see.
Tuj] Fictional? No
Quendalon] An expression? Gordon Bennett! No
Chalky] A society of some sort? *murmuring among the audience* No is the most useful answer
Rosie] Is the human alive today? No and yes (to be read in conjunction with the answer to irach's question).
'crap locos' - well, I got to 'farting', by thinking of the Puffing Billy, so there is a sort of connection.
A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human?
Connected with religion?
CdM] A role that is filled, at any given moment, by a specific named human? No
Inkspot] Connected with religion? *some giggling in the audience No
A group of people with something in common?
Chalky] A group of people with something in common? *applause YES
Is the group of people composed of both sexes?
Connected to sport?
Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity?
Are these people related by blood?
irach] Is the group of people composed of both sexes? Ye-es, though almost all male
Inkspot] Connected to sport? No
Rosie] Do these people engage in some rather dubious activity? *giggling from sections of the audience* Depends on your definition... No is the more useful answer.
Quendalon] Are these people related by blood? No
Connected with sexual activities?
Did it start in a particular country?
Does the common activity involve drinking?
Quendalon] Connected with sexual activities? *prolonged sniggering from a section of the audience* Activities, no.
Inkspot] Did it start in a particular country? Yes, though there's some dispute as to which country it was.
irach] Does the common activity involve drinking? It might do, but that's not the primary link.
Did it start before 1900?
Inkspot] Did it start before 1900? No
Connected with the military?
A charity organisation?
Quendalon] Connected with the military? No
Inkspot] A charity organisation?
Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common?
Chalky] Do they have a medical condition/syndrome in common? No
Is this a commercial activity in any way?
Rosie] Is this a commercial activity in any way? Yes - some of the people who do this will get paid for it.
It is likely to involve a journey of some kind?
Is it connected to a time of year?
Kim] It is likely to involve a journey of some kind? Only a circular one ;-)
Inkspot] Is it connected to a time of year? No
Does it take its name from a specific human?
To do with the Arts?
Anuything to do with vehicles?
Quendalon] Does it take its name from a specific human? *some cheering* Yes
Inkspot] To do with the Arts? *more cheering* Yes
Tuj] Anything to do with vehicles? *dead silence* No
Associated with the musical arts?
An exhibition?
irach] Associated with the musical arts? Yes
Rosie] An exhibition? No
A male voice choir?
Chalky - A male voice choir? Dim
A rock band?
irach] A rock band? *some applause* No
The Billy Cotton Band?
Wakey-wakeeee.
(Irg) - re answer to Chalky; I think that should be Nag'dy ( = no, it isn't), if I read you right. Dim means "no" in the sense of "absence of", eg dim o arian, "no (of) money". Diwedd y wers. :-)
Rosie] Billy Cotton? No
Welsh lesson] Thanks - obviously I'm the dim one.
Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud?
An orchestra?
Does the group still exist?
A Big Band/Dance Band?
(Irg) Well, I wouldn't say that. The problem is that there is no single word for either yes or no in Welsh. You either repeat or negate the verb. Diwedd yr ail wers. (Projoy) You must be older than you look. :-)
Did the group form before 1990?
Projoy] Some sort of popular beat combo, m'lud? No - see irach's earlier question
Botherer] An orchestra? Good to see you here! No
irach - Does the group still exist? It's not a group
Rosie] A Big Band/Dance Band? No. Thanks for the explanation. Interestingly Putonghua Chinese (Mandarin as it's often known) does much the same.
Inkspot - Did the group form before 1990? See earlier answers
Title of a piece of music?
Alexander;
Alexander'S Ragtime Band?
Inkspot] Title of a piece of music? No
irach - Alexander's Ragtime Band? No
Time for a summary? The answer is a group of people with something in common, mostly male. The 'something in common' has connection with rock music, and takes its name from a specific human, but it's not a group. Questions about this involving religion, sexual activities, and being dubious have all drawn giggles or sniggers from the audience. It's not a relationship by blood, or connected with the military (though there was a connection once - sorry, should have noted that earlier), or a charity organisation. It's sometimes done for money, and it may well involve drinking. There's no connection with a particular time of year, and only a jokey connection with journeys.
Writing all that out makes me think that it's glaringly obvious, but perhaps I shouldn't be cruel ;)
Elvis impersonators?
Rosie - Elvis impersonators? YES! So as Rosie was the question-setter before me, the baton is returned to sender.
(Irouléguy) - Actually it was the Lactulose I handed you and you are gracious enough not to hand it back, though I hope you haven't drunk it. I'm told it's rather persuasive.
Right, this one is ABSTRACT, and absolutely nothing to do with steam locos.
Can it be proven by science?
Sorry Rosie if the question is a bit broad, but what I mean is something like magetism or a black hole.
Is there a human element to it?
(Inkspot) - It probably could, but the answer to your question as you intend it is NO.
(irach) - Human element? YES.
Is there a mathematical element to it?
A philosophical idea?
(Quendalon) - No mathematical element.
(Raak) - Not a philospohical idea.
Connected to the brain?
An arrangement of concrete things?
(CdM) - Not connected to the brain.
(Raak) - Not an arrangement of concrete things. You mean physical, I assume.
Is it unique?
(Rosie) So there's a human element, but no Animal connection?
(Quendalon) - Hmm, difficult. Let's say each one is. But that's not very helpful. It needs humans for this abstract thing to manifest itself, so there is an Animal connection, an omission on my part.
Begins with a P?
Sin?
Rosie] Thanks :)
An activity?
(Tuj) - Does not begin with a P.
(Irouléguy) - Nice thought, but not sin. What would I know about that?
(Raak) - Not an activity.
Connected with the body?
Is it connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Not connected with the body.
(Kim) - Connected with the arts? It can be on occasions.
Connected with emotion?
Anything to do with the weather?
(Quendalon) - NO! Er, sorry, no connection with emotion.
(Chalky) - Nothing to do with weather.
Is the arts connection (when it arises) limited to one branch of the arts?
Connected with the occult?
(Kim) One or two branches of the arts at most. The connection is not a vital part of this, but occurs.
(Chalky) - Not connected with the occult.
Connected with sound?
(Quendalon) - Connected with sound? - Yes
Is the sound musical?
(irach) - Sometimes can be but not essentially.
Is it to do with the quality of sound?
Connected with the human voice?
To do with poetry?
(Inkspot) - Quality of sound? Yes, interpreting "quality" fairly broadly.
(Quendalon) - Yes, connected with the human voice. *considerable applause*
(irach) - Nothing to do with poetry.
An accent?
A glo'al stop?
Shouting?
(Raak) - Yes, an accent. *wild cheering from audience, who think it's all over, but it's not, quite.*
(Irouléguy) - No' a glo''al stop.
(Inkspot) - Not shouting.
A Welsh accent?
Received Pronunciation?
A Dixie Southern drawl?
(Raak) - Daw' be daft, mun.
(Inkspot) - Not RP.
(irach) - Dixie? - Nope.

The answer is A something Accent.

A French accent?
A grave accent?
An accent from the British Isles?
(irach) - Not a French accent.
(INJ) - Imaginative, but gravely in error.
(Projoy) - A British accent? - Could be, certainly.
A foreign accent?
[irach] Relative to where? :P
A posh accent?
Is the accent from a particular city?
(irach) - It could be, to a good ear.
(Irouléguy) - Good heavens no, dear boy.
(Inkspot) - Not from a particular city.
A northern accent?
"Lots of planets have a North" (Christopher Eccelstone as Dr Who)
(Inkspot) No, but a northern accent is an example of this.
Specifically an accent of the English language?
(Quendalon) - No, not specifically English.

Could I nudge people gently away from the particular.

A nasal accent?
A local accent?
A regional accent?
A fake accent?
(Projoy) - Might be.
(Raak) - Not fake.
(Chalky) Not local, but so close, since KIM has it! Well done. Your go.
Ee, bah gum, etc, etc.
Jolly dee. OK, this one is MINERAL.
Precious?
Man made?
[Raak] No.
[Inkspot] No.
A specific individual object?
[Raak] Yes.
WARNING: even yes/no answers can potentially be misleading.
Could you lift it?
Simply to rule out an anarcho-syndicalist-driven steam locomotive.
Is it a place?
Is it on Earth?
Bigger than a telephone box?
[Inkspot] Difficult. On balance I would have to say...No.*some murmurs of interest from the audience*
[Irouléguy] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it a geographical feature?
Is it a geological feature?
Has it been in existence for at least the last two centuries?
A single specific object in the generic sense (in the same way as, say, "a stone")?
[Irouleguy] Yes.
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Chalky] No.
[Projoy] No.
A mountain range?
Is the mineral some form of water?
Made of sand?
[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.
[Projoy] No.
A geographic/geological feature at one specific terrestrial location?
Connected with volcanic activity?
[Irach] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
*The audience senses a build up of momentum (or pressure?).*
Surtsey?
In the Northern Hemisphere?
Paricutin?
A fault line?
Krakatoa?
[Rosie] No.
[Quendalon] No.
[irach] No.
[Inkspot] No.
and
[Irouléguy] No.
In africa?
Is the answer the name of a volcano?
[Inkspot] No.
[Raak] No.
In Asia?
The lake of mud in eastern Java?
Which doesn't appear to have a name, according to the BBC.
a tectonic plate?
[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] No. *audience gets quite interested*
[Projoy] No.
Is it solid?
Krakatoa?
In Austrailia?
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Rosie] I refer the Hon. Gntlmn to the answer I gave Irouléguy a few moves ago.
[Inkspot] Not in Austrailia (sic)
An island?
Hang me for a typo: guilty as charged
Is it the product of a volcanic eruption?
[Quendalon] Yes.
[Irouléguy] Yes.
The new island that emerged this year in Tonga between Kao and Late?
Bugger - simmed
Excellent set-piece work by Quendalon and Irouléguy, but Raak gets in at the near post and nods it in. The answer is indeed the new island that has appeared in the South Pacific recently. Well done, Raak, better luck next time to Irouleguy and Quendalon.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/11/14/asia/AS_GEN_Tonga_New_Island.php by the way.
So they are still making real estate!

The next is ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.

Begins with a P?
[Tuj] One day, an answer will begin with a P. That day is not yet.
Sweating aubergines?
Anarcho-syndicalist vegetable stir-fry?
One day, the answer will be Anarcho-syndicalist something-or-other.
[I] No. Er, is that a face pyjama?

[K] That day too is yet far off.

A painting?
[R] Not a painting.
Is it a character from a fictional work?
[K] Not a character from a fictional work.
Connected with the arts?
A figure of speech?
[Q] Not the arts.
[T] Not a figure of speech.
Is the vegetable wood?
[R] Face pyjama? No, just a cooking technique.
[I] Can be wood.
Man-made?
Does this have strong religious connections?
Is it unique?
[R] Man-made.
[D] No strong religious connection.
[Q] Not unique.
A geographical feature?
[C] Not a geographical feature.
A building?
Connected with the sciences?
[C] Not a building.
[K] Nothing to do with science.
(The audience is in a coma.)
Is it a generic name of a product?
eg Hoover
[I] Not a generic name.
Is it usually found in the home?
Is it a physical object?
[I] It can be found in the home.
[I] Yes, a physical object.
Anything to do with food or drink?
The Abstract nature of this object baffles me.
Anything to do with gardening?
Is this an object from a fictional work?
[Rosie] Not food or drink.
Hint: The V and M are what it is made of, the A is the abstract thing it embodies.
[I] Not gardening.
[C] (The audience opens one eye.) Not fictional.
Is this a kit of some sort, like an Airfix Model?
Is it a tool of some kind?
Connected with writing?
The hearth?
[C] Not a kit.
[R] Not a tool.
[Q} Yes! Writing has something to do with it!
[i] Not a hearth.
A document (paper and ink being the vegetable and mineral components)?
[i] Yes! A document. (The audience opens all their other eyes.)
A lease?
A contract?
Does it involve finance?
[i] Not a lease.
[CdM] Not a contract.
[R] Yes, it involves finance.
Is it a form of currency?
A will?
[Q] Not currency.
[R] YES! A last will and testament. Over to you.
(Raak) Mm, I s'pose I ought to make one. Well, it can wait because there are far more important things in life, like the next subject, which is ABSTRACT.
I still can't work our why A Will - which to me is a tangible object - should be classified as Abstract - but am happy to be corrected :-)
correction - our/out
[Chalky] I'm somewhat uncertain what should count as Abstract. What makes the thing a will is the non-physical meaning of what is written on it. On the other hand, a will generally is a single physical document, unlike, say, a book, which has an abstract existence apart from any of its individual copies.
(Raak, Chalky) I instinctively thought of a will as abstract because of its content. After all, it could be stored on a computer even if a physical document is a legal requirement. AHEM - there can be no such ambiguity about the present subject. AHEM.
Does it start with the letter P?
The Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation?
Chalky, Raak, Rosie] There's also the distinction between a specific person's will, and the idea of a last will and testament. I didn't find it misleading, which is what I think matters.
Connected with the arts?
(Quendalon) - Does not start with P.
(Irg) - A miss of some magnitude, I fear.
(Kim) - Not connected with the arts.
A single word on the card?
[Quendalon] Daft question :P
Is is a human construct?
Connected with mathematics?
(Tuj) - Two words, including the indefinite article.
(Kim) - Not a human construct.
(Quendalon) - Not connected with mathematics.
Is it something people do?
(Raak) - Not something people do.
Is it visible?
Is it something to do with the weather?
(Irg) - Not visible *laughter from audience*
(Kim) - Nothing to do with the weather.
Can it be heard?
(Inkspot) - Cannot be heard *further cruel sniggers from audience*
Can it be perceived by any of the senses?
Is it part of the electromagnetic spectrum?
Is it an absence of something?
(Kim) - Yes, it can be perceived.
(Inkspot) - Not part of the electromagnetic spectrum.
(Irouléguy) - Yes. *loud applause*
Space -- the final frontier?
A black hole?
(Quendalon) - Not space.
(Tuj) - Not a black hole.
Conspicuous by its absence?
Vacuum?
Related to living things?
irach has it because VACUUM it is! Strictly "A vacuum", but that's near enough. Well done, sir, and over to you.
This one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL Connections.
A document of some sort?
[Raak] Not a document.
Is it ritualised linguistic routine? (e.g., a metaphor, simile, cliche)
[rab] Yes. It is a type of cliched verbal expression.
Is the animal human?
Is there a number in it?
The Ashes?
[Inkspot] Yes. The animal component is most often human in this context. [Quendalon]. No. No number in it. [Rosie] Not the ashes.
Is the mineral an artefact?
Pissing in the wind?
A wild stab in the dark
People in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses?
Bull shit?
Is it a proverb?
[Irouleguy] No. Not an artifact
[rab] Not pissing, in the wind, or otherwise.
[Projoy] Not a wild stab in the dark.
[kim] Not stone houses or glasses
[Lib] No, not bull shit (or any other animal scat).
[Raak] No. Not a proverb.
Does the expression describe the human (or animal)?
[Rosie] It does not describe the entire human (or animal), but a part thereof.
Pull the other one?
Is the mineral a liquid?
To do with the face?
Is it complimentary?
[Irouleguy] No.
[Inkspot] The mineral is not liquid.
[Raak] No. Not the face.
[Rosie] Yes. It is complimentary.
Diamond Geezer?
Is the mineral metal?
[irach] A very deadpan "no, not the face" that.
[Tuj] Hurray!!!Yes, a metal! (a little less deadpan, I hope) ;)
[Lib] Not a Diamond Geezer.
An iron constitution?
A heart of gold?
Goldfinger?
[rab] Pretty much hijacked my line of thought there.
[irach] Fantastic emotional control and range, congrats.
A mind like a steel trap?
[Quendalon] No. No mind, no steel trap.
[Raak] Not an iron constitution.
[rab] You are correct! A heart ofgold it is! Over to you.
Wow...
Err, right. This one's MINERAL, with possible animal and vegetable connections.
Is it a place?
Man-made?
Metallic?
[Irroul] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[Tuj] No.
Made from stone?
Not stone, no.
Portable?
Yes.
Made of plastic?
[Raak] *applause* - its plasticity is an integral part of its being, yes. (And I'm still wondering if plastic is vegetable, rather than mineral, but no matter now).
[rab] After being turned into oil over tens of millions of years, I'd file it as mineral, same as limestone.
The plastic rings around a six-pack of beer?
Is it a manufactured item for use in the home?
Is it for containing food or drink?
[Irroul] No.
[Inkspot] Manufactured yes, but I don't think its use is restricted to the home.
[Raak] *audience fidgets* Not containing, no.
You put food on top of it?
Plastic cutlery?
[Raak] *mild applause* but no.
[Irroul] Nope.
cling film?
Does its essential plasticity necessarily imply that it is essentially flexible?
Is it intended for human consumption?
[Inkspot, Quendalon] No
[Rosie] I suppose it could be flexible, but that's not an essential characteristic.
A drinking straw?
Is it a tool of some kind?
[Quendalon, Rosie] No.
Is it used for carrying things?
Is it an implement?
[Inkspot, Kim] No

I think we should look back to the last positive audience reaction.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?
No.
Has it always been made of plastic?
A toothpick?
Is it associated with a particular type of food?
Plastic chopstick?
[Inkspot] Tricky one. The type I'm thinking of is very much definitely made of plastic, but there are versions that perform a similar function that aren't.
[Rosie, irach] No.
[Irouléguy] YES!
Is it used during the preparation of the food?
Is it the outer coating on Edam cheese?
[Inkspot] To say "yes" would probably throw you completely off-scent; but I think that it's far to say that it might play a small part in the preparation of a particular type of food.
[Kim] No.
Is it associated with a particular country?
Is the food linked to a particular event or ceremony?
[Inkspot] No.
[Irouléguy] *applause* YES!
The plastic figures on the top of a wedding cake?
On my card it says A plastic bride and groom but I think CdM's close enough to get it.
Wow. I actually didn't expect that to be right, because of the "preparation" question. But I do see what you mean.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Animal human?
Animal connection = Human? Yes.
A trait or characteristic?
Trait? No.
Fictional?
Fictional? No.
A character of myth or legend?
Mythical or legendary? No.
Connected to science/technology?
Connected to science/technology? Yes.
Something named after someone?
Something named after someone? Yes *applause*
A unit of measurement?
Is it Bluetooth?
[UK] I suggest you get yourself to a dentist ASAP.
Is it to do with the internet?
Unit of measurement? No.
Bluetooth? No.
Internet-related? No.
A theory?
(As in an entire theoretical framework, rather than a result or phenomenon)
A theory? No.
Is it a constant?
two short Plancks?
A constant? No.
A phenomenon?
Schrödinger's cat?
Is it a sound?
The sound of one hand clapping?
Phenomenon? Hmmmm... my initial response was no, but I think it is fair to say yes, in a way.
S's cat? No ... and yes ... and no ... and yes .. and *checks*. NO.
A sound? No.
A zen sound? Not even.
Someone's Effect?
Astronomical?
Nash equilibrium?
Is it visible?
Someone's Effect? The word "effect" does not appear on the card, and I think the best answer is No.
Astronomical? No.
Nash Equilibrium? The best response is No.
Visible? *audience goes "oooooh"*. I think I have to say Yes and No. Either 'Yes" or 'No' could be justified as an answer, and by the same token either would be misleading.
A Schelling point?
Cerenkov radiation?
Schelling point? No. (the audience communicates by a subtle combination of laughter, applause and silence that, had this been the correct answer, they would have given some recognition to 'Nash equilibrium')
Cerenkov radiation? No.
A hologram?
Connected with economics?
Concerned with atomic particle physics?
A hologram? No.
Connected with economics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.
Connected with particle physics? Isn't everything? But, otherwise, No.
Is it temprature dependant?
Anything to do with meteorology?
Was the eponymous person alive before the 20th century?
Now we are getting somewhere
Temperature dependent? Yes.
To do with meteorology? Yes. *applause*
Before 20th century? Yes.
To do with Torricelli, vacuum and barometry?
The Bergeron process?
The Doppler effect?
I think that is close enough for me to award a mercury-filled baton to irach, even though it was not posed as a guess. The answer on the card was "A Torricelli (or Torricellian) Vacuum".

The subject was prompted by the fact that I almost guessed "vacuum" for Rosie's recent AVMA about a day before it was correctly guessed (no, really, I did), but then rejected it on the grounds that Rosie had claimed no connection to the weather. :-) (That's not intended as a criticism, btw; on reflection I thought that Rosie's answer was probably right.)
Let me then step in to fill the void... The next one is simply ANIMAL
Human?
[Raak] Not human.
A dodo?
[CdM] No, not a dodo.
alive?
Vertebrate?
[Lib] By alive, if you mean non-extinct, yes.
[Kim} Yes. A vertebrate.
A species?
[Irouleguy] Yes, a species.
Mammal?
(CdM) Can't see why a vacuum is temperature dependent, which is why I went for the the rather obscure Bergeron process, which certainly is. Not to worry. :-)
[Rosie] Yes, a mammal.
Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?
[Rosie] Well, I was thinking about the fact that the density of the mercury (or whatever) is affected by temperature, and hence so is the size of a Toricelli vacuum. (I think. This is your area of expertise, not mine). I certainly agree that I should have at least indicated that the connection to temperature was minor.
Is it amphibian?
Tree-dwelling?
Water-dwelling?
Carnivorous?
Giraffe?
A long-necked meat-eating animal that lives in trees and water and swims?
Meerkats?
[Inkspot] Yes, it is semi-aquatic.
[rab] No, not arboreal.
[Kim] Not exclussively water-dwelling, see response to Inkspot.
[Raak] Not carnoivorous. Rather the contrary.
[Lib] Not a giraffe. A long way off.
[CdM] Not a long necked or meat eating animal that lives in trees. It does enter water and swim, though.
[Irouleguy] Not meerkats.
A hippopotamus?
A beaver?
[Raak] Not a hippopotamus.
[Kim] Not an eager (or disinterested) beaver.
Smaller than a telephone box?
[Raak] Yes, smaller than a telephone box.
Smaller than a bread bin?
[Lib] No. Bigger than a bread bin.
A primate?
[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)
[Rosie] Not a primate (Are there any semi-aquatic primates?)
Furry?
A mink?
A vole?
BTW, CdM' s "Found (in the wild) on more than two continents?" hasn't been answered.
A reptile?
[Raak] As a mammal it does have fur, but not particularly known for its furriness.
[rab] Not a mink
[Irouleguy] Not a vole.
[CdM] Found in th wild, but on only one continent.
[Kim] Not a reptile. It's already been established that it is a mammal.
Duck-billed platypus?
[CdM] Not a platypus.
Found in Africa?
Found in America?
[Inkspot] Not Africa.
[Kim] Not natively found wild in the USA, but yes, is found in one of the two Americas.
The capybara?
[Irouleguy] Yes, Capybara, it is! Over to you...
A win largely down to Wikipedia, in all honesty. Our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE and contains ANIMAL.
Coal?
A mass produced manufactured item?
The Tardis?
Raak - Coal No. Surely coal is either mineral or vegetable - can it be both?
Inkspot - A mass produced manufactured item? Yes and no - not mass-produced
Kim - The Tardis? a ripple of applause No
A Dalek?
A Cyberman?
rab - A Dalek? No
Raak - A Cyberman? No
the applause unripples
I should add that there's also an abstract dimension to this.
Does it exist only in science fiction?
rab] Does it exist only in science fiction? No - there isn't a science fiction connection (or if there is, it's incredibly faint).
Can one live in it?
A telephone box?
Was the first one made before 1900?
Is there only one of it?
Is it a coat?
...or shall I get mine?
rab - Can one live in it? One could...but I don't think anyone does
Raak - A telephone box? No
Inkspot - Was the first one made before 1900? Yes
Rosie - Is there only one of it? No
Tolken - Is it a coat? No, and no, it was a perfectly clean question
A sauna?
Raak - A sauna? No
Is it a piece of street furniture?
rab - Is it a piece of street furniture? No
Is the vegetable ccomponent wood?
irach - Is the vegetable component wood? Yes
Is it larger than a transit van?
Is it an outdoor object?
(Chalky) A TRANSIT van?
Chalky - Is it larger than a transit van? Yes
Rosie - Is it an outdoor object? Yes
(What's wrong with Transit vans?)
Are they in fixed positions?
Inkspot - Are they in fixed positions? *another ripple of applause* No
A horse box?
Is the animal human?
Does it have wheels?
Raak - A horse box? No
Inkspot - Is the animal human? Yes
rab - Does it have wheels? *giggling from large sections of the audience* Yes, though in the past they used to have more.
Would you find it at a funfair?
Is is a mode of public transport?
Is it a vehicle?
A horse-drawn wagon?
Does it use electric power?
Raak - Would you find it at a funfair? No
rab - Is is a mode of public transport? *loud applause* YES
Projoy - Is it a vehicle? Yes
Rosie - A horse-drawn wagon? *giggles No
Inkspot - Does it use electric power? It does now, but it hasn't always done.
A tram?
A train?
rab - A tram? No
Raak - A train? No

Apologies - I'm out most of tomorrow and won't be at a keyboard until the evening. I hope no-one will harbour a grudge.
A lift?
An escalator?
An omnibus?
a charabang?
a charabanc?
It would appear that everyone not in my family calls it a Charabanc, so I'll try again!
Raak - A lift? No
Rosie - An escalator? No
rab - An omnibus? No
Lib - a charabang or charabanc? Or even a charabank - a coach you get on Bank Holidays. No
Does it use the roads?
Back to basics. :-(
A ferry?
(I'm pretty certain this is a water vehicle of some kind.)
A barge?
Rosie - Does it use the roads? No
CdM - A ferry? *waves of applause* YES! 'Ferry' is one of the four words on the card.
rab - A barge? No
A cross-channel ferry?
Ferry Across the Mersey?
CdM - A cross-channel ferry? La Trans-Manche? Non
rab - Ferry Across the Mersey? No
Hong Kong Star Ferry?
Isle of Man Ferry?
Lib - Hong Kong Star Ferry? No
CdM - Isle of Man Ferry? No, but the geographically closest so far.
Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle?
Projoy - Ferry to/from a Scottish Isle? No, and no closer.
Does it sail from Liverpool?
Isle of Wight Ferry?
Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry?
Pembroke to Rosslare ferry
rab - Does it sail from Liverpool? No
Lib - Holyhead- Dublin sea ferry? No
Inkspot - Pembroke to Rosslare ferry No

When I said CdM was 'closest', that was strictly comparative. 'Least distant' would have been more helpful. Lib is now the least distant.
Is at least one end of the journey in the UK?
Is at least one end on the North American continent?
Does it sail between two different countries?
Is it operated by a pulley system?
The Staten Island Ferry?
CdM goes overnight from 'least distant' to bullseye - the Staten Island Ferry it is! One Staten baton handed over.
ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, and MINERAL
Is the animal human?
Human? No.
Is the vegetable a liquid?
Is it edible?
Is there a seasonal connection?
Vegetable = liquid? Least misleading answer is yes, I think.
Edible? Yes. *ripple of applause*
Seasonal connection? None that I am aware of.
Some sort of soup?
Soup? No.
Is it associated with a particular country?
A specific meal?
Some form of alcohol?
Associated with a particular country? Yes *applause*
A meal? No. *a sprinkling of laughter*
Some form of alcohol? Yes, the vegetable component is some form of alcohol. *applause* (I was probably overthinking earlier when I said liquid was "least misleading"; I should have just said yes. But it doesn't seem to have slowed you up.)
Is the mineral salt?
Salt? No.
Is it a drink?
Is the mineral water?
Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings?
A drink? The words on the card do not define a drink as such. The alcohol is intented to be drunk, however.
Mineral = water? While there may be some water mixed in the alcohol, the primary mineral component is not water.
Two pints of lager and a packet of pork scratchings? How can I put this? No.
Is the animal a fish?
Is the animal connection a by product like cheese?
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou?
Animal = fish? No.
Animal = By-product? No.
Wonderloaf, Mateus Rosé and him? No, but a nice guess.
Is the alcoholic part served separately to the edible component?
Alcohol and edible component served separately? No. *some applause*
Is the mineral part the container in which it is served?
Is it some kind of stew?
Is the animal a bird?
Mineral part = container? Yes. *applause*
Some kind of stew? No.
Animal = bird? No.
Clarification: my answer to "drink?" might have been unintentionally misleading. The answer is not exactly a drink, but it is not incorrect to think in terms of things that are. If you see what I mean. It always amazes me how hard it can sometimes be to answer even the simplest questions in this game.
Is it a canned item?
Is the alcoholic part a spirit?
Canned item? No.
Spirit? Yes.
Irish coffee?
Is it always the same spirit? (And if so, is it vodka?)
*wonders what kind of animal Raak takes in his coffee*
Is the animal component milk or milk-based?
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Always the same spirit? Yes.
Vodka? No.
Animal = milk? No.
Vegetable = fruit? No.
Is the spirit brandy?
Brandy? No.
Mezcal (the Mexican spirit with a worm in the bottle)?
And a massive leap to victory by Raak. The words on the card were "A bottle of Mezcal containing a worm", but I had previously decided that I would award victory as long as the words "mezcal", "bottle", and "worm" all appeared.
*hands a small, wriggling, inebriated baton to Raak*
Apparently the worm in the bottle was invented in 1950 by one Jacobo Lozano Paez as a marketing ploy for stupid gringo tourists.

The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.

Glass houses pierced by stones?
[Projoy] No, but you have the right general idea.
Is it a saying?
[rab] A saying? No.
(The general idea is a bit more general than that.)
Is the mineral rock?
[Rosie] Not rock.
Is the mineral in its natural state?
[Rosie] The mineral is not in its natural state.
Is it always made of the same material?
[rab] Yes, always the same material.
Begins with P?
...to try to give Rosie a hand, however small.
Plastic?
Is the object larger (in any dimension) than a dustbin?
more than one mineral?
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
[rab] Not plastic.
[Rosie] Not larger than a dustbin.
[Lib] Not more than one mineral.
Glass?
[rab] Yes! Glass.
Glass Menagerie?
[irach] Not a menagerie.
A cut-glass accent?
Like wot I 'ave.
[Rosie] Not ay cut-glahss eksent.
Is it half-full?
Is the glass a mirror?
[rab] Not half-full (nor half-empty, nor over-engineered for the purpose).
[irach] Not a mirror.
Is the glass component a container?
[irach] Yes, a container.
Is the container a bottle (with or without a genie)?
Is the contents important?
[irach] (applause!) It's a bottle. No genie.
[rab] The contents are not important.
I'll be in London all day tomorrow, doing the rounds of as many museums and art galleries as I can fit in, so you have a day to think about this abstract glass bottle.
A Klein bottle?
[Projoy] Surprisingly, not a Klein bottle.
Is it associated with a myth, legend or piece of history?
Losing one's bottle?
Hitting the bottle?
[rab] Not mythical, legendary, or historical.
[Irouléguy] Not losing it.
[irach] Not hitting it.
Is anything being done to it?
[rab] Nothing is being done to it.
Is the actual word "bottle" on the card?
[irach] (excited murmuring from the audience) Strictly speaking, no.
Is it bottled-up anger?
[rab] Not bottled-up anger.
A hint
There are two words on the card, including the indefinite article.
A jeroboam?
[Rosie] Not a jeroboam.
A decanter?
A gottle? (of the kind that generally contains geer)
[irach] Not a decanter.
[Projoy] Not a gottle.
Another hint
The Mineral meaning is less well-known than the Abstract meaning.
A fiasco?
[Rosie] Yes, a fiasco, and well done for avoiding one.
(Raak) Too kind; you haven't seen my Christmas arrangements.

Right, here we go with a fairly simple one that's ABSTRACT with MINERAL connections.

Is the mineral a metal?
Does it have religious connections?
Is it fictional?
irach - Not a metal
Inkspot - No religious connection
Irouléguy - Not fictional
Does it describe an emotional state?
irach - Nothing to do with the emotions.
related to music?
Ooh, sorry I forgot to get dressed up in my disguise above! How rude of me! *blushes*
(Lib) - Nothing to do with music.
Is the mineral liquid?
>Is the mineral ice?
Irouléguy - Yes, the mineral is liquid.
irach - Not ice. See above. :-)
Anything to do with the weather?
Is the liquid mineral potable (non life-threatening if imbibed)?
Is it flammable?
Coloured?
Does it f l o w?
Raak - Weather? Certainly is *applause*
irach - Potable? Very much so
Inkspot - Flammable? No. Laughter from audience
Lib - Coloured? Yes *whooping and shrieking from the rather plebby lot we've got in tonight*
Rab - Does it flow? - Course it flows, 's a bleed'n' liquid innit? Man of your calibre; I dunno.
Purple Rain?
irach - Not purple rain.

(tutti) Don't forget it's fundamentally abstract.

Some other colour of rain?
Somewhere Over the Rainbow?
Raak - Not rain of any colour
irach - Erm, I'm afraid not. *huge but rapidly-stifled audience eruption *
Non-alcoholic liquid, one assumes?
Projoy - T-t-t-totally correct, but you're moving in the wrong direction.
A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
Just a rainbow?
[Rosie] Sorry - was drunk last night.
Raak - Not the pot of gold, but . . . .

The rainbow itself. So the winner is the extraordinarily sober rab! Well done.

Eek!
Right, well I probably won't have 'net access after 9am tomorrow, so let's go for a really easy ANIMAL (with possible ABSTRACT tendancies).
a Gnu?
Not a Gnu.
A specific individual?
[Raak] Yes!
Fictional?
[irach] As the Germans say, jein.
Human?
Yes.
Is he/she dead, or as the Germans ask: Ist er/sie tot?
Errr..., jein. You have only a few hours left. If no one gets it, someone else can take over with what they think it is...
Male?
Yes!
Santa?
I said it was easy.
Ok, another easy one, to make sure it gets solved before Christmas.

ABSTRACT.

The First Noel?
[irach] Not the First Noel.
Xmas-related?
[Projoy] Coincidentally Xmas-related.
Related to religion?
A greeting?
[Projoy] Some relate it to their religion.
[Inkspot] Not a greeting.
Winter solstice?
Bingo!
[irach] The very words on the card.
Here we go again- This one is ANIMAL
Dickens?
[Rosie] Good try, but no. (Bah! Humbug!) ...the audience at least stirs slightly
Reindeer?
Human?
[lib] Nort reindeer.
[Tuj] Yes, human.
Christmas-related?
[Tuj] No Christmas connection.
A European?
A male?
In the news recently?
[Inkspot] European, yes.
[Projoy] Yes, male.
[Rosie] No, not that I know of.
Alive?
[Inkspot] Dead.
Was he born before 1900?
[Inkspot] Yes, born prior to 1900.
Involved in any of the creative arts?
[Rosie} Yes.
Born prior to 1700?
[Projoy] Yes, born prior to 1700.
In the Music Field?
[StormWraith] Not Music.
Is he in a visual art?
[StormWraith] Not a visual art per se.
Was he a Greek?
[Inkspot] Not Greek.
British?
[Lib] Jolly good, I say! Yes, British. (the audience stirs and begins humming "Rule Brittania")
A writer
I mean "A writer?"
Born prior to 1500?
[Rosie] Yes, a writer.
[Projoy] Born after 1500.
A playwright?
[Rosie] Yes, he wrote plays.
Shakespeare?
`
[Projoy] YES, the Bard of Avon it is. Over to you.
OK, here's a MINERAL/ABSTRACT.
Anything to do with the present season?
Stone?
[Raak] To do with the present season? NO
[Inkspot] Stone? YES
Stonehenge?
Is this two meanings for the same word, one mineral, one abstract?
[irach] Stonehenge? NO
[Rosie] Two meanings? YES, but then again NO. Not sure which is the most helpful answer, really.
Is it the rock of ages?
[Kim] Aged Rock? NOPE
Connected with a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not connected with a geographical feature.
Does it have religious significance?
[Inkspot] religious significance? NO (a couple of mutters from the audience, but basically they agree)
The Stone of Scone?
[Raak] Symbol of temporal power in Scotland? NO.
Is it unique?
[Inkspot] Unique? NO is the best answer.
An artistic depitction?
[Rosie] Artistiction? NO
Does it feature in a legend?
[rab] Features in a legend? Strictly, NO, although a small change to your question would yield a YES.
Is there a specific, finite number of them?
Does it appear in mythology?
[Raak] A specific, finite number of them? NO
[Inkspot] Appears in mythology? I'm reasonably sure that's a NO, altho my research wasn't exhaustive.
It depends a bit on your definition of "mythology" and "legend", come to think of it. Probably best to regard NO as the most helpful answer in those cases, but you're approaching the right sort of area.
Some kind of fictional story?
[rab] (pretending to mishear the question) Fictional? YES!
Is the type of mineral any more specific than "stone"?
[rab] More specific than stone? NO
Does it have origins in a particular culture?
A heart of stone?
[Inkspot] Originates in a particular culture? NOT SURE. Sources are a bit unclear on this point.
[Raak] Heart of stone? NO.
It's not . . . . dilithium crystals, is it?
[Rosie] NO, IT'S NOT
[Rosie] Actually there is a very, very, very obscure connection to a particular variety of dilithium.
Then again, I am slightly drunk.
Is it fictional?
Is its signifance connected to a specific individual (possibly fictional)?
Is there a connection to an event?
sober now...
[Raak] Fictional? YES (see answer to rab's "misheard" question above)
[rab] SORT OF. Its significance isn't dependent on a specific individual, but there are specific individuals associated with it.
[Inkspot] Connected to a particular event? NO, NOT REALLY (except in a pretty trivial sense).
Could you name those specific individuals? And would you be able to get them all into the 'Stance' box?
(I don't actually want you to do this, merely know if it's possible...)
[rab] Could I name those individuals? YES, although it would be subjective as there's certainly no canonical list of them. Would they all fit into the "stance" box? I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT SO for most people's lists. An academic in the right field might be able to overflow the stance box, but most reasonably erudite people would probably name four or so names.
Are the people fictional as well?
[Inkspot] Are the people fictional? NO, by and large.
Are these precious stones?
Is the word "stone" on the card?
Do the stones go back to the time of the Greeks and Romans?
Arthurian connection?
The alchemists' stone?
back online now
[Raak] Precious stones? NO *sustained applause from the audience*
[CdM] The word "stone" IS on the card *mounting excitement from audience*
[Inkspot] Back to Greek and Roman times? YES
[rab] Arthurian connection? NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF
[CdM] Alchemists' stone? YES. The words on the card were "Philosopher's Stone", and I have to say I'm very upset that Tuj never popped up with his normal question! I got in a bit of a tizzy over the legend/myth questions. To my knowledge, the philosopher's stone doesn't appear in a particular myth or legend or in what is conventionally called mythology (i.e. of the Greek and Roman variety), but one could call it a mythical or legendary object, so a hard one to answer helpfully. * transmutes baton into finest gold and hands to CdM*
All right, here we go again

ABSTRACT
Global Warming?
Not getting warmer at all
Global Warming? No.
Visible?
Human construct?
Fictional?
Visible? Yes.
Human Construct? Yes.
Fictional? No, although there are a few connections to works of fiction.
Something used as a symbol?
A slightly tricky one
Symbol? I think the most helpful answer is no.
Smoke?
Mirrors?
An action?
An emotion?
Does it involve all mankind, or a select few?
Coming up empty
Smoke? No. (Abstract?)
Mirrors? No. (Abstract?)
An action? No.
An emotion? No.
Does it involve all mankind? I'm not sure that it makes much sense to talk of this "involving people", but if you insist on an answer, I would say that it does not involve all mankind.
A metaphor?
Really not getting very far
Metaphor? No.
Is it ever used as a means of communication?
OK, now we're getting somewhere
Used as means of communication? While that is not its primary use, it can be used as a means of communication in certain circumstances.
An art form?
Speaking too soon...
An art form? No.
Is the "primary use" an invention?
Too, too soon
Invention? It is a human construct that was invented, but you wouldn't normally call it an invention.
Is any technology necessarily involved?
Is it a process?
[CdM] Not sure I care for your patronising tone.
Sorry - that was a bit harsh as usual. I read your last comment as "Of course a human construct is a human invention you idiot" but re-reading it I suspect my first reading was incorrect. Unfortunately, I can't work out what your last comment does mean...
I apologise unreservedly
Technology involved? Not really, except for a very broad definition of technology.
Process? No.

[rab] Wow, sorry -- I assure you that wasn't meant to be in the slightest bit patronising. My pedantic answer simply reflected the confusion I often feel when answering seemingly simple questions in this game. "Invention" conjures up to my mind steam engines, spinning jennies, COBOL, and the like -- and it would be odd to describe the subject on the card as an invention in that sense. On the other hand somebody did presumably invent this thing, so it would be misleading to say no as well.
S'ok - I did over-react. Likewise I find a problem in this game is in asking questions that don't completely give away the thing(s) you think they might be.

Does it exist?

'Course it does, idiot
Does it exist? Yes.
Not a ghost, then.
Is it electromagnetic radiation?
Did it exist 100 years ago?
Electromagnetic radiation? No. (This thing is abstract, but it does typically have a physical manifestation, so you can add "with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE AND/OR MINERAL connections" to the description, if you like.)
Did it exist 100 years ago? Yes.
Does it involve words?
Does it involve words? Yes. *prolonged applause from audience*
Rap?
(You said it wasn't an art form)
Are these words in spoken form?
Poetry?
Music and words?
Do the words originally come from one particular language?
Drama?
A musical?
Rap? Nope.
Are the words in spoken form? No.
Poetry? No, although there can be a connection.
Nineteen-forties movie? No.
One language? No.
Plays? No.
Evita? No.
In written form, then?
Is it the game of AVMA on mc5?
Ah, wait a minute - that's mostly one language... so change that to MC on the web
Actually, scrap that again - no technology, existed 100 years ago. Hmmm, stumped.
Written form? Yes. (Obviously, the words in question could be read, but the words on the card are associated with a written form.)
AVMA on the web (or not)? No.
Is it an epitaph?
RIP? The answer is not an epitaph, although there very occasionally is a connection.
Are you in need of a clue yet? ...
Because I have actually already given you some clues already.
Anything to do with religion?
God help us.
Birthday greetings?
Do the words on the card describe a particular formation of words?
Is this associated with a specific occasion or event?
"The words on the card"?
[Projoy] I was going to ask that...
Religion? There are occasional connections.
Birthday greetings? No.
Particular formation of words? Not exactly sure what you mean, but I think the best answer is yes. *some confused applause*
Associated with specific occasion? No.
Words on the card? No.
To do with nomenclature?
An advertising slogan
[CdM] By "particular formation of words" I meant something like an epitaph, birthday greeting or, indeed, an advertising slogan.
...or perhaps a particular form of verse or...
To do with nomenclature? In some cases, but by no means necessarily.
Advertising slogan? No.
[rab] Then I continue to think that the best answer is yes, although the answer is certainly not a unique formation of words such as "Just do it"
A condolence?
Typically appearing in printed form rather than manuscript?
Related to a particular time in people's lives?
Condolence? No.
Do you write it down? It could be either, but, yes, most instances would be printed.
Marriage, birth, death, divorce, christening...? No.
Is the meaning of the words relevant to what's written on the card?
Meaning relevant? No.
An invitation?
equal rights (as expressed in legislation)
Is it associated with the legal profession?
Is it work-related?
Come as you are? No.
Legislated equality? No.
Unethical? No.
Ergological? No.
Anything medical?
Some sort of certification?
Associated with a particular writing system?
A list of words?
A decloration?
Is the form of the words relevant to what's written on the card?
Is the setting of this one self-referential?
Anything Medical? No.
Certification? No
Riting or Reading or Rithmatic system? No.
"Of", "But", "Transubstantiate", "Legume", "Velocity"? Only vaguely.
Statement of intent to declare something to say? No.
To what's written on the card is the form relevant? Yes.
Is it self-referential? No, but...
Could be...
A clue?
A sentence?
Is there likely to be a particular length to which this form of words runs or could it range significantly from, say a few words to hundreds?
Is this form of words written by a particular group of people?
Do I have to spell it out for you?
A clue? No.
Verb-containing syntactically independent grammatical unit? No.
Many or few words? No particular length, though not arbitrarily short and usually not very long.
Authored by a particular group of people? No.
Is it spelling?
Anything to do with synonyms (or antonyms)?
Anything to do with translation
(rudely taking two goes)
Crying in my beer
Spelling? No.
Opposites (or sames)? No.
Babelfish? No.
Does this usually appear in a particular format of writing (eg newspaper, novel, magazine)?
Gah! An ACROSTIC?
I feel guilty even offering that answer, as it's now so obvious.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
I am the stupidest person in the whole world and my only consolation is that most of the rest of you were equally stupid.
I'm tempted to say that CdM won that round and should continue with the next clue.
Oh bollocks.
Give that man an beer. We were defeated good and proper.
Beer would be great! I'm delighted and flattered that I've been invited to come back and set one more clue, and yet now I'd rather retire unrequited.
Very well, then. On CdM's behalf*, here's an ANIMAL/MINERAL/ABSTRACT thingumabob.
* this means you can blame him if it's too hard
Is it some kind of idiom?
Course it's not, you idiom.
[rab] an idiomat? NO
There's a case for describing this as an (ANIMAL) (MINERAL) (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL) ), but maybe that's taking pedantry to new extremes.
Is the animal part human?
(By the way, I think that one of the reasons I inadvertantly insulted rab was that, at the beginning, my comment lines were an acrostic of "an acrostic". Thus my "Too, too soon" comment, which may have been what conveyed the unintended patronising tone. Also, I apologize for some of my slow responses, but they were partly because I was waiting for enough questions to put acrostics in my answers, and partly because good acrostics were hard to compose.)
(Either animal part...)
Is it something I'd encounter in everyday life?
Um, Projoy?
I think you were handed a baton, actually.
[CdM] Is either animal part human? YES
[rab] Something you'd encounter in everyday life? NO
[Néa] Me? NO :)
Is there more than one of these?
[Projoy] It's poor form to point to one's own cleverness, but I think Néa was referring to the fact that my AVMA sign-off above was actually an acrostical limerick.
[CdM] More than one? The best answer is NO, on several counts.
[CdM] re: limerick - Too subtle, too subtle!
Bloody hell, CdM! Here, have this round of applause that's been looking for a home.
Noah's Ark?
Oops
Pressed 'stand' too soon. I meant to add my congrats to CdM - excellent!
[Ig] Big Boat Wot Has Animals In? NO
Is it fictional?
A trophy?
Is it the name of something?
Actually, you could probably argue anything is the name of something, so let's change that to:
Is it a title of a book/film/poem/...?
[Inkspot] Fictional? YES, in essence
[Raak] Trophy? NO
[rab] The name of something? YES (and not in the same way that just anything is
[rab] Title of cultural product? NO (that I'm aware of)
Someone's nickname?
A legendary being?
[Raak] A nickname? NO * an audient claps a couple of times, but tails off when no-one else joins in *
[rab] Legendary? NO *smiles in the audience*
Is it a person?
To do with religion?
Is it a place?
[rab] A person? Hm. YES and NO
[Raak] Religious connection? NO
[Ink] A place? NO
Is the other animal part a specific animal?
Is the human part that is and is not a person a character of myth?
Sandman/Tooth Fairy type person?
Is it a something-man?
[Ig] Other part (the part that isn't human) a specific animal? YES
[Kim] You've slightly misread my response. I didn't say that there was a human part that was and wasn't a person. I said the whole thing was and wasn't a person. That said, the human part, as it happens might be described as being and not being a person. But the human part is not a character of myth. Glad to have cleared that up. :)
[Ink] Sandman/Tooth Fairy or generic substitute? NO
[rab] A something-man? In quite a broad sense, YES (but possibly not the one you're thinking of).
Did it originate in a particular culture more than 2000 years ago?
[Inkspot] Originated...particular culture... 2000 years ago? NO
Is the word "Man" on the card?
Is the mineral part man made?
[Kim] Word "man" on card? NO
[Inkspot] Mineral man made? YES
It's rather late to fess up to this, but I think there is probably a VEGETABLE element to this too (having said which, its absence hasn't really proven critical in the questioning as yet, nor probably will it).
Anything to do with warfare?
[Ig] Warfare? NO *some laughter*
Is it a part of a person?
[Raak] Parts of persons? YES. One 'animal' is part of a person; the other 'animal' is partially a person.
Is the "partially person" a ghost?
[rab] Ghosties and ghoulies? NO
Is the supernatural involved?
[Raak] Supernatural? NO
Here's our Graham with a quick reminder
Handy summary: It's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL, (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL)). On the card is a name - the name of something essentially fictional that is and isn't a person. One of the animal parts is part of a human, the other animal part is partially a person, and partially another specific animal. The mineral part is man-made. It isn't supernatural or mythical.
Is the specific animal a mammal?
[rab] Mammal? YES
Did this first appear in a specific work of fiction?
[Ig] Appeared first in a specific work... YES is the best answer, altho one might quibble with it slightly.
Is the work of fiction European?
[Ig] Fiction European? YES
English language?
Is it from a comic?
[rab] Eng. Lang.? OUI
[Ink] Comic? NO
Is the work of fiction a book?
[rab] Book? NO
A Shakespeare play?
A film?
[Ig] Shakespeare play? NO (not a play at all, in fact)
[Ink] Film? NO
Is it any form of writing?
[rab] Originating work of fiction a written form? NO
Is the mineral part of the viewing medium rater than an object like a spoon?
rater/rather
Is this the name of a painting?
[Ink] Mineral part of the viewing medium? NO
[Raak] Painting? NO
Does the originating work of fiction exist (or has it existed) in any concrete, tangible form?
[rab] Original work concrete? Almost not sure how to answer. Would, say, a CD or a score of a piece of music count as concrete and tangible for the purposes of the question (originating form is not a piece of music, btw)? If you'd say yes, then YES, if you'd say no, you meant something like a painting or a sculpture where the idea and its expression in concrete form are pretty much analogous, then NO. :) (© Overthinking Services Ltd)
So, the work itself is not a tangible representation, but it can be tangibly represented?
[Raak] I think I'm in danger of leading you into a siding here. So that we can get back on the main track, let me reveal that the medium in question is TELEVISION (which can of course be put into the tangible form of videotape or DVD).
Doctor Who related?
(Well, presumably before it was on television it was in a script, which is a concrete tangible form by any defition surely?)
[rab] Doctor Who related? NO
(Fair enough, I was just interpreting your question as trying to distinguish a particular class of artforms of, say, the sculpture variety. If you count stuff like scripts, then which art forms don't have tangible form? Even computer games are stored tangibly on a HDD.)
* goes off to write treatise on television as a virtual form *
Is the programme currently on television?
Projoy] Re non-tangible art forms - how about improvised stand-up comedy?
[Ig] Is the original programme in which The Answer first appeared still on? NO
(is a real-life performer insufficiently tangible for you, then? :))
[Projoy] I was thinking of apocryphal/folk stories, that kind of thing.
British TV programme?
Was it a series?
[rab] British? YES
[Inkspot] A series? YES
The genre popularly known as "Drama"?
And you do know what I mean by that, if you don't try and think too hard :)
[rab] I hope you'll forgive me for giving the answer as I DON'T KNOW. History records the name of said show, but not its genre. Quite startled at how recalcitrant this subject is proving.
Summary again
[rab] On further thought, the best answer is almost certainly NO to the genre question.

Handy summary: It's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL, (ABSTRACT (ANIMAL)). On the card is a name - the name of something essentially fictional that is and isn't a person. One of the animal parts is part of a human, the other animal part is partially a person, and partially another specific mammal. The mineral part is man-made. Appeared first in a British TV Show (in English) that is no longer on.
First episode shown prior to 1980?
OK let's try a different tack.
[rab] First episode before 1980? YES
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Late entry from me.... Will be a bit of a bad steal if I'm right.
[Lib] MPFC? NO.
Is the human part an internal organ?
Re improv - touché
Is the thing also the name of the show?
[Ig] Internal organ? NO
[rab] name of show=words on card (or selection of permutation of)? NO
First shown on the BBC?
[Ink] BBC? NO
First episode before 1970?
[Ink] Before 1970? YES (hint - we are talking about the show that hosted the first appearance of this character, not necessarily the show most associated with it.)

[all] Are some clues needed at this stage? This clue seems to be losing steam a bit after more than a week in play!
(or is everyone suffering from the rapid approach of the worst day of the year?
Was this children's TV?
Clues - yes, please.
[Ig] Children's TV? YES! *considerable applause*

Blue's First Clue: it is the abstract (i.e. fictional) part that contains that which is partially human and partially some other mammal - in other words, we're talking about an anthropomorphic character, not of some invented species, either.
A ventriloquist act?
Sooty?
[Ink] Wind-speaking? NO
[Raak] Carbonaceous Ursine? NO
Catweazle?
Is it a anthropomorphic character male?
Is the human part a pair of hands?
Quick check; The answer is not the title a 1960s(?) ITV childrens programme but a character from it? ...and that's all till tomorrow.
[Ig] Felis Mustela? NO
[Ink] Male? YES
[Ink] Hands? *applause and cheering* YES (not sure if it's a pair or just one).
Was this a Gerry Anderson series?
[Raak] Supermarionation? NO, MILADY
[Inks re: your quick check] That's completely correct.
String puppets of any sort?
[Raak] String puppets? NO
Cartoon/animation?
A shadow puppet?
Basil Brush?
I think Chalky has got it...
[rab] Animated? Like this game lately, NOT VERY! :)
[Raak] Shadow puppet? NO
[Chalky, you naughy victorous lurker] Basil Brush? YES!! BOOM BOOM. Basil first appeared in Peter Firmin's kids' show The Three Scampies in, I think it was 1968 but too lazy to go back and check on Wikipedia. For all I know the show was a drama rather than Basil's later chatshow-style shows, but I couldn't find that out. The animal element which is part of a human is the operator's hand in the puppet, the mineral the nylon from which I fondly fancy the puppet is fashioned, with a side-bet on some vegetable elements in his clothes too. The abstract element (incorporating more animal: i.e. anthropomorphic fox-man) is the fictional character of Basil. * gets a bag of aniseed balls, and gives that to Chalky, as there's no longer a fox to hunt * Tally Ho!
Oh, and well done to rab, Irouléguy and Inkspot for doing most of the heavy lifting, there!
Grr, Basil Brush passed through my mind but I rejected it for not being a sequence of four things, as suggested by the way you laid out your clue. Oh well, well done Chalky.
Congrats and welcome back, Chalky - I think it needed a fresh pair of eyes to get that.
Lurking and assorted pastimes
That'll teach me. I'll blame the pub quiz victory [the first time in 5 weeks] and the brandy.
'Tis grand to be back .. thanks to PJ for a very thorough set of responses and to rab, Raak, Iroulé, Inks et al for pointing the way :-)

How's about a V E G E T A B L E to ease me back into MC Land ..
Is it a fruit?
Well done Chalky, to think I dismissed BB and The Three Scampies as he is still going strong TV and was thinking along the lines of a character no longer shown. Hey ho!
Is it edible?
Is it paper?
Has it been in the current Film Club?
Alive?
Sorry for delay - couldn't get into server for some reason
[Inks] Fruit? YES!
[Raak] Paper? No
[Iroul] Current Film Club? Wassat then?
[Rosie] Alive? In the light of my reply to Inkspot, probably not relevant :-) Unless one can describe fruit as either alive or dead. In which case I would say either/or.
again
Apologies Iroulé - I now see what you mean.
Current Film Club? I don't think I can spot it.
One particular species of fruit?
A fruit salad?
Sorry - you didn't answer the edible question?
Star fruit?
[Irouléguy] One particular species? Oh yes.
[Rab] Fruit salad? No
[Rab] edible? YES! [sorry]
[Libs] Star fruit? No.
Is associated with being one particular colour?
[Inkspot] One particular colour? Yes.
Mangosteen?
(only in italics)
Strawberry?
Is its colour part of the fruit's name?
[CdM] Mangosteen? No
[Irouléguy] Strawberry? No
[irach] Colour part of fruit's name? No
Is the whole thing normally eaten including the skin/peel?
Is it grown in the UK?
Is it a citrus fruit?
[Inkspot] Eaten whole? Erm ... Yes
[rab] Grown in UK? I don't think so [meaning I can't find any real evidence of such]
[Raak] Citrus fruit? No

BTW - have just spotted a reference to this fruit in the current Film Club
Kumquat?
Mango?
Greengage?
[Lib] Kumquat? No
[irach] Mango? No
[Raak] Greengage? No
Tomato?
Gourd?
[Kim] Tomato? No
[Lib] Gourd? No
A chilli?
[Irouléguy] Chilli? No
Is it generally only used as part of a recipe (like a chilli) rather than on its own (like an apple)?
Is it normally cooked?
[rab] Part of a recipe or on its own? Good question - it is widely known as something that is part of a recipe [although I dare say one could eat it on its own]
[Rosie] Normally cooked? Another good question :-) No - not cooked as such.
Is it a type of dried fruit?
[Raak] A type of dried fruit? Noooo ... but keep going in that direction
Is it a fruit converted into a liquid form?
Would it be good in a cake?
Not necessarily going to help the guessing, but I need to know!
Raisin?
[Raak] Converted into liquid form? Yes it is! [to be clear - it doesn't have to be but is better known once it has been converted]
[Lib] Good in a cake? Doubtful but not a definite No :-)
[irach] Raisin? No
timetable
Can answer any more questions after 10.30 pm, so keep 'em coming
Grape?
Juniper
Tonights discoevery is that raspberry gin is a very good thing....
Is it red?
Is it green?
[irach[ Grape? YES! Now .... which one?
[Lib} Juniper? No ... I agree ... raspberry gin is indeed a fine thing
[Irouléguy] Red? Yes
[Inks] Green? nah
Italian red grape?
Pomegranate?
[Inks] Italian? Not known as such
[Phil] Pomegranate? No
Pinot noir?
Grenache?
Wait -- you said it was widely known (not that Grenache is that obscure, but still). How about
Syrah/Shiraz?
Chardonnay?
Merlot?
Cabernet sauvignon?
Zinfandel?
Now that I've noticed it's a grape :)
Muscat (variously spelled)?
[irach] Pinot noir? No
[CdM] Grenache? No
[CdM] Syrah/Shiraz? No
[Widely known/Obscure? I think I meant widely known for being a grape that is used for wine production rather than just eating :-)]
[rab] Chardonnay? No
[Inkspot] Merlot? No
[Irouléguy] Cab Sauv? No
[Phil] Zinfandel? No
[Raak] Moscato/Moscatell/Moscatel/Muscat? No
Gamay?
Irouléguy has it! The GAMAY grape is the answer. Here - have a glass - CHEERS :-)
Don't mind if I do - it is Friday. Cheers, Chalky! OK, our next is ABSTRACT and MINERAL with ANIMAL connections.
the salf of the earth?
That is, the salt of the earth?
A geographical feature?
To do with language?
Raak - The salt of the earth? No
Rosie - A geographical feature? Um...yes, in one sense
Projoy - To do with language? No
Is it a figurative expression?
Raak] Is it a figurative expression? Not a lot
An historical monument?
Is is a statue of someone?
Is it a sculpture?
Is it a piece of writing?
Kryptonite?
Man In The Moon?
Inkspot] An historical monument? *applause* No, but...
Kim] Is is a statue of someone? *more applause* No, but...
Projoy] Is it a sculpture? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answers.
rab] Is it a piece of writing? No
Raak] Kryptonite? No
irach] Man In The Moon? No
The Angel of the North?
Is it fictional/legendary?
Rosie] The Angel of the North? No
rab] Is it fictional/legendary? No
Is it artwork?
Is it a physical structure named for someone?
Is it the headquarters of some organisation?
Is it visible to the human eye?
Lib] Is it artwork? No
Raak] Is it a physical structure named for someone? Yeah, but yeah, but no (imagine it as three separate questions)
Rosie] Is it the headquarters of some organisation? No
rab] Is it visible to the human eye? Yes
An Olympic Torch?
rab] An Olympic Torch? No, but the Olympic torch has been there.
Is it manmade?
Mt Olympus?
Lib - Is it manmade? Yes
Projoy - Mt Olympus? No
Is it larger than a standard four bedroom detached house?
Or there abouts!
Lib] Is it larger than a standard four bedroom detached house? Yes
Is it ancient?
Rosie - Is it ancient? No
Is it in Europe?
Is it a building, i.e. a structure with storeys and rooms?
Is it unique?
We seem to be honing in on something very concrete, yet this thing is supposed to be ABSTRACT. I'm confused.
Is it a popular tourist attraction in the place where it is located?
Inkspot - Is it in Europe? Yes
Raak - Is it a building, i.e. a structure with storeys and rooms? No
CdM - Is it unique? Yes
I probably should have clued this as MINERAL and ABSTRACT - apologies for any confusions. It's another of those borderline ones, where it all depends on what you mean by 'abstract'. I do think there is an abstractness to it, though - it's a location, which i wouldn't describe as 'something very concrete'.
Kim - Is it a popular tourist attraction in the place where it is located? *ringing applause* YES!
Does a name appear on the card? (e.g., Anne Hathaway's standard four bedroom detached house)
[I] It doesn't sound like any apology is necessary; you did clue it as both mineral and abstract. Being confused is quite a normal state for me.
In the UK?
A sport venue?
Is it a piece of civil engineering?
CdM - Does a name appear on the card? A name, yes
CdM] I meant the order really. I read ABSTRACT and MINERAL as mostly abstract and a bit mineral, whereas it's more helpful to think of it as the other way round.
ImNotJohn - In the UK? Yes
Inkspot - A sport venue? No
Rosie - Is it a piece of civil engineering? Yes (according to the Wikipedia definition of CE).
Is it in London?
The London Eye?
rab] Is it in London? *applause* A capital answer
Inkspot - The London Eye? No
Trafalgar Square?
Cleopatra's Needle?
A bridge?
We have a winner - it's Trafalgar Square! A pigeon is winging its way to INJ with the baton.
somewhat shamefacedly
Nearly a lurker's victory - still I'll take it.

The next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections

Animal = human?
A work of fiction?
An action?
[CdM] Human - Not necessarily, but YES is most helpful
[Irg] fiction - NO
[Inks] Action - NO
A figurative expression?
[Raak] A figurative expression? - NO
A character of myth or legend?
[Kim] Legendary character - NO
An emotion?
[Inkspot] emotion - NO
A symbol?
[Raak] symbol - NO
An action?
Is language involved?
A rite of passage?
[Rosie] Action - I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answer
[Raak] Is language involved? - NO
[Inks] rite of passage - NO
A social connection?
re previous question - should've been in bed. Sorry.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
[Rosie] A social connection? - NO (in fact rather the reverse)
[CdM] Anarcho-syndicalism? - one day.... but not today
Connected with philosophy?
[CdM] Connected with philosophy - I'm sure you could find a philosopher who would say so, but my answer is NO
Is it a human invention/construct?
[Iroul] Human construct - NO (not this time)
Do I get some sort of prize for having the only question so far that has been answered with something other than 'NO'?
Is it something that applies to most humans?
A scientific law?
Could the animal be a cow?
[CdM] - NO
[Rosie] - Applies to most humans - YES
[Raak] scientific law - NO
[Inks] Could the animal be a cow - NO (Actually, I don't know - I would assume not. In any case it wouldn't help you to guess if the answer were yes.)
Is this an absence of something?
[Iroul] an - NO
To do with the mind?
[Raak] To do with the mind - NO
Solitude?
Is this a medical condition?
An undesirable characteristic?
[Raak] solitude - NO
[Chalky a medical condition - YES (applause)
[Rosie] An undesirable characteristic - 1)YES, 2)NO
Is it a subjective characteristic?
[PJ] subjective - NO
Do the symptoms of this condition manifest themselves externally?
[Chalky] external symptoms - YES
Are men and women equally likely to have this condition?
[Iroul] men & women equally - YES
A neurological syndrome named after a person?
[Irach] neurological syndrome named after a person? - NO and NO
Is it caused by an external pathogen, e.g. virus or bacterium
Is it a common complaint?
[irach] caused by an external pathogen - YES
[Kim] common complaint - YES (applause)
A cold?
I wonder why I thought of that one.
And The Common Cold it is. (or cobbod code, as I would have said 3 days ago) -
Over to Rab
I feel we've had too many abstracts, but the only things I can think of right now are ABSTRACT. So there we go.
(I've chosen only one of them!)
Abstraction?
Nope.

Further reading suggests a possible mineral component.

A stony silence?
Human construct?
[Rosie] No.
[CdM] I don't believe so (the existence of humans is not - as far as I know - conditional on its existence)
A physical phenomenon?
Yes
Could life exist without it?
I expect so.
An astronomical phenomenon?
Possibly, but I would suspect only indirectly.
The tides?
The aurora borealis?
[Rosie] It would be more than a suspicion if it were the tides!

[Irouléguy] No.

An astrological phenomenon?
To do with the weather?
[Raak] No.

[Inkspot] YES!

Is it a wind?
To do with global warming?
The atmosphere?
[Inkspot] Wind is involved.

[Raak] Maybe, not sure.

[irach] "The atmosphere" are not the words that appear on the card.

The ozone hole?
Le mistral?
Jet stream?
[Raak] No.

[Irouléguy] No.

[irach] No.

Does it involve high winds?
Tornado?
[Raak] Yes.

[irach] No.

A hurricane?
Cyclone/
[Raak] No.
[irach] No\
Is the possible mineral component water?
Yes.
A perfect storm?
"The Tempest"?
El Nino?
A storm surge?
It seems that the thing I've chosen is not particularly well-defined but I believe that my answers are consistent with most people's understanding of what this us.

[Raak, irach, CdM, Rosie] No.

s/us/is
Is this associated with a particular part of the world?
Does it at ground level?
Is the abstractness anything to do with literature?
[Irouléguy] Yes. *applause*
[Inkspot] Does it what at ground level?
[Raak] No - not a human creation.
The global conveyer
(it is associated with a particular part of the world, albeit a very large part)
Is it seasonal?
[rab]That's what happens from simulposting the same thing then trying to think of something else, all before the first cup of tea of the morning.
Is it in the northern hemisphere?
El Niño?
The monsoon?
[Raak] Certainly associated with the northern hemisphere, but not sure if it's confined to it.

[Rosie] I wouldn't be that pedantic (see CdM's last guess).

[Ir] Nope.

The doldrums?
Is it a specific named wind like the monsoon?
Trade Winds?
Trans-Atlantic Drift?
Low Bailey 986 expected South Utsire 971 by this time tomorrow?
Is the wind associated with this phenomenon always from a particular direction, more or less?
(rab) Sorry, didn't see CdM's El Nino. I'm sure he pronounced it right, though.
[Inkspot] Not the doldrums.
[Irouléguy] The least misleading answer is probably 'no'. I'll elucidate further later if need be.
[irach] Not trade winds.
[Chalky] Nor a Trans-Atlantic Drift, although one or two audience members have woken up.
[Rosie] Low Bailey... 'fraid not.
[Rosie] Again not sure, but with 95% certainty I would say YES!
(that last to Rosie's direction question, and a different one-or-two audience members are starting to look agitated)
Does the answer on the card contain a geographical reference?
[Rab] You didn't answer a couple of earlier questions - 'Is it seasonal?' and 'The global conveyor?'
[ImNotJohn] YES! *applause*
Whoops - seasonal yeah, global conveyor no.
The Azores High?
Nope.
Equinoctial gales?
The Gulf Stream?
[Rosie, Raak] No.
Is it a hot desert wind of North Africa?
[irach] *Considerable peals of laughter, hooting, rolling about and slapping of thighs from the audience* No.
Okay, then. Is it an Arctic Express wind blast?t
That's good enough for me - it was Arctic Blast that was on the card.
This one is ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with a dash of MINERAL as well.
A tequila shot?
[Raak] After the day I've had, I wish it was a tequila shot. But 'no" is the answer to your "shot in the dark".
Is it something you eat or drink?
Is it larger than a washing machine? (an average sized british one).
[Iroleguy] Yes.
[Lib] No.
Is it a sandwich?
Smoky bacon crsisps?
Does fluid account for more than 50% of its volume?
[Kim] Not generally a "sandwich", although in one incarnation it may be so.
[Raak] Yummy!! But no.
[rab] This one is a little tricky... It is made up mostly of fluids, but it shouldn't be fluid when bought, or presented for consumption
Is rab's question easier to answer if you leave it at room temperature for a while?
[CdM] It cerainly is, in the affirmative.
Is Ice Cream involved?
[rab] Yes! "Ice cream" are the exact words on the card. (although at minus 17 degrees Celsius room tempaerature, and a minus 30 degree windchill here in suburban Boston, I'm not sure I want any just now. Over to you.
Whoops
Sorry, it's me again. MINERAL
Man-made?
Metallic?
[Rosie] No.

[irach] No.

A geographical feature?
Liquid?
Is there just one of these?
[Rosie] No.
[Raak] No.
[Irouléguy] It describes a class of things.
Is the mineral rock?
A geological term?
[irach] No.
[Rosie] No.
plastic?
Terrestrial?
IINJ] No.
[irach] No.
Sea salt?
Metal?
Is this found in the atmosphere?
Asteroids?
[irach] No.
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] Possibly (and that goes for terrestrial too, actually).
[Rosie] No.
A gas?
[Rosie] More gassy than anything else I would have thought.
To do with volcanoes?
A "greenhouse" gas?
A plasma, e.g. on the sun?
[Raak] No
[irach] No
[Rosie] No - but getting warmer (and not because you mentioned the sun).
Cosmic rays>
The solar wind?
Still mentioning the sun. :-)
Aurora borealis?
[Raak] I don't think cosmic rays are completely disconnected from what's written on the card.
[Rosie] Nope.
[irach] No.
Is it found in interstellar space?
[Raak] I believe so.
Is it found within our solar system?
Hydrogen?
[Inkspot] It might be.
[Rosie] No.
Is it made of subatomic particles (not assembled into nuclei)?
A particular element?
[Raak] Probably, yes.
[Irouléguy] No.
Dark matter?
If that isn't the answer, it should be.
YES! - Dark Matter it is.
Coo - I got a science one. OK, our next is quite different - ANIMAL and VEGETABLE (and ABSTRACT insofaras the answer's a concept, rather than a straighforward description).
Edible?
Raak] Edible? Yes
Meat and potatoes?
A particular dish?
A vegetarian diet?
Associated with a particular geographic area?
A Stew?
Raak] Meat and potatoes? Both could be included
Darren - A particular dish? Ye..es
Rosie - A vegetarian diet? *laughter rings round the audience* No
ImNotJohn - Associated with a particular geographic area? *applause* YES
irach - A Stew? No
A soup?
Is it a recipe?
A Cornish pasty?
Is the name of the geographic area on the card?
Somewhere in the UK?
Some sort of curry?
irach] A soup? No
Kim] Is it a recipe? No
Raak] A Cornish pasty? No
ImNotJohn] Is the name of the geographic area on the card? A derivative of the name is.
rab] Somewhere in the UK? *applause* Yes
Darren] Some sort of curry? Naan
England?
Scotch broth?
That was gonna be my next guess...
Fish pie?
rab] England? *applause* Yes
Raak - Scotch broth? Nae chance
Inkspot - Fish pie? No
Sweet (as opposed to savoury)?
ImNotJohn] Sweet (as opposed to savoury)? No
Is the place name a town?
Raak] Is the place name a town? No
If the audience had been more awake, they'd have cheered rab's last guess much more loudly.
Is the place name component "English"?
Not that I can think of a di...sh called English anything.
A Sunday Roast?
Scrub that, how about A Full English Breakfast?
An English muffin?
YES! Lurking pays off! A full English it is.
Oh dear. For once I don't have a topic in store. *sound of thinkage*...

Let's have this MINERAL
An artefact?
Solid?
[INJ] Artefact? YES
[Raak] Solid? YES
Unique?
Mainly or entirely metal?
A work of art?
...that is, something made just to be appreciated rather than to be used.
[Rosie] Unique? NO
[INJ] Mainly metal? YES
[Ig] Work of art? NO
Did these exist before the 20th century?
[Raak] Pre-1901? YES
Eating implement?
Fighting implement?
Food or fighting? NO
Larger than a breadbin?
[INJ] > breadbin? YES
Any connection to transport?
Is it connected with agriculture?
Is it connected with building?
Transport? NO
Agriculture? NO
Building? NO
Does it essentially have moving parts?
Essential moving parts? YES
Is it a piece of industrial equipment?
Larger than a telephone box?
Industrial eq.? NO
Smaller than a telephone box.
A household item?
Household item? *some laughter* NO, not in the generic sense.
Does it use fuel?
No fuel (like, say, an old fuel).
Used in a typical workplace?
Is it clockwork?
Powered by human effort?
Typical workplace? NO
Clockwork? NO
Human effort? YES *applause*
A trombone?
Normally used outdoors?
[Raak] Come on, we've already been told it isn't a fighting implement.
A trombone? NO *significant and sustained applause*
Normally used outdoors? YES and NO (strictly NO)
A musical instrument?
Musical instrument? YES! *applause*
Is there a part for it in any of the Beethoven symphonies?
French horn?
Is it a percussion instrument?
Did Beethoven write for it? NO
French Horn? NO
Percussion? NO
A tuba?
Tuba? YES, but that's not the answer. *much applause and cheering*
Some member of the tuba family?
A sousaphone?
A member of the tuba family? YES!
Sousaphone? YES! Ig takes it by a short head from Raak.
According to various googleable sources, the first Sousaphones (not in their current forward-facing configuration) turned up in the 1890s, although a specific date is tricky to track down.
A short note on the use of the trombone as a fighting implement:- Only attack music stands. 100% success guaranteed.
Trivia note - one of the first John Coltrane records I ever bought was him playing with a tuba player called Ray Draper. It's not great jazz, though Coltrane is pretty good on it.
*pause for what passes for thought* OK, our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Begins with P?
Blimey, haven't looked at this game for a while.
Fictional?
Character of myth or legend?
Begins with E?
Unicorn?
Tuj] Begins with P? Probably not (and welcome back!)
Raak] Fictional? Yes
Kim] Character of myth or legend? No
Projoy - Begins with E? Equally unlikely
irach - Unicorn? No
A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"?
An alien being??
irach - A specific animal character in fiction, e.g. the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland"? *applause* YES
Inkspot - An alien being?? *giggles from sections of the audience* Probably not
Does the character normally go on two legs?
Created in the twentieth century?
Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc?
Is the animal non-human?
Raak] Does the character normally go on two legs? Yes
Projoy] Created in the twentieth century? Yes
Rosie - Is the character in the title of the book, film, play etc? No
irach - Is the animal non-human? Hmmm...I think it's mean to be sort of human
Is its first appearance in a TV programme?
rab] Is its first appearance in a TV programme? *CANNED APPLAUSE* Yes
Thinking about irach's question, a better answer would be that you probably wouldn't think of it as a human character (though it might be).
Cat from Red Dwarf ?
A cartoon character?
Is the genre science fiction?
American TV programme?
Inkspot] Cat from Red Dwarf ? No
Raak - A cartoon character? No
Kim - Is the genre science fiction? No
Projoy - American TV programme? Yes
An alien?
Oh, you already answered that. How about A TV programme from after 1980?
Projoy] - A TV programme from after 1980? No
Howdy Doody?
Sesame Street character?
irach - Howdy Doody? Nope
Inkspot - Sesame Street character? *some applause* No
A puppet?
The Banana Splits?
Miss Piggy?
Projoy - A puppet? *the audience wave their hands appreciatively* YES!
Raak - The Banana Splits? Worst. Children's. Programme. Ever? No
irach - Miss Piggy? *collective cry of "Moi?" from the audience* Very close!
Waldorf?
Actually, forget that. Too obviously human. How about Beaker?
Animal?
Ha-ha.
Kermit?
*throws drumsticks at Tuj* AARGH! TUJ! LURKER! WINNER!
While attempting to google for information on Animal's supposed species, I found this lovely quote from the show:

Kermit the Frog: "What's wrong with your drummer? He seems a little crazed."
Sgt. Floyd Pepper (Animal's handler and bandmate): "He's just upset because he missed the Monet exhibit at the British Museum."
Animal: "RENOIR!! RENOIR!!"
Didn't meant to be lurking... I was fairly sure that was wrong...
*throws baton at Iroléguy*
...OK, not Irouléguy, someone else. But the reason I didn't take part is I have very little time on my hands! Someone else best do it.
[Tij] No, you do it. Unless you're not gonna be here to answer people's stuff..
Tuj] Sorry if I offended you - it was a joke, honest :) Do set one...
Projoy] Did you find anything one way or another?
FFS somebody start one.
Yeah, looks like Tuj has timed out.
I nominate Projoy
I'm pro Projoy as well.
Hm. Well, here's a hopefully pretty easy one, then, altho I'm interested to see how it responds to an attempt to pin it down deductively.

It's ABSTRACT with mainly ANIMAL connections (but there's arguably connections to the other two too).
Begins with P?
Yeh sorry guys, that was my point... I apologise for feigning so much offense Irouléguy :P
I'm very in-and-out at present, as you probably haven't noticed: hence 2 queries to the last one & not having been here since my last comment.
[Tuj] P, please, Bob? NO.
Is the ANIMAL in question human?
(sigh)
[Tuj] Human connection? YES, basically.
NB to all. I suspect there's going to be a few questions where true pedantry would insist on a YES AND NO answer. However, I intend to employ a bit of lassitude sometimes in order to give helpful answers.
Is it as basic as life itself?
Lassitude? Isn't that the state of being dog food? Did you mean latitude, or are you actually knackered? :-)
Oops. Yes. Latitude.
As basic as life itself? NO. Some silly people might say YES, but they are silly.
Is it something you could do in bed without help from others?
A human construct?
Tuj] No worries.
Somethihng you can do in bed alone? NO
Human construct? YES
Doesn't lassitude make you poo?
Is it a fictional 'human construct' (whatever that may be)
Is it an action?
Is it an art form?
Some people think farting is an art form, and so it is, but I didn't mean that.
[ISP] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An action? NO
[Rosie] An artform? YES
Is music involved?
This one's gonna go quickly, I think
[Lib] Music involved? YES
A musical?
Opera?
[Lib] A musical? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
[Raak] Opera? OOOH. ALMOST. *muchos audience applause*
First one to the punch will nod this one in, I think.
The Musical?
Music?
Phantom of the opera?
[rab, Rosie] A touch more specific than music and a touch less than Phantom of the Opera, the words on the card are Musical Theatre, which I think is close enough for Lib to claim the victory. *passes baton to Lib in order to complete the circle of life before the parade passes by*
(Projoy) Quite so. No probs. :-)
Hello everybody. I've not done this before. Did I lurk a bit? Sorry! Hmmm. Let me think.... Right. An easy one for my first time, methinks. This one's Animal and Vegetable.
The Good Old British Sausage?
[Raak] Big Banger? No.
Is it edible?
Bigger than a toaster?
Alive?
[Irouléguy] Edible? Mmmmm. Yep! [Tuj] Bigger than a toaster? Not usually, but some would prefer it that way! [Rosie] Alive? Nah.
Hmmm, time to sign up for that basic HTML nightclass.
Begins with P?
Hahahaha!
Is the animal a specific animal (species)?
Might one eat this in a restaurant?
Opens HTML handbook....
[Tuj] No peas please. No.
[Irouléguy] Specific animal Yes.
[Raak] Rest-your-auntie? Not usually.
Is the animal a bird?
[Inkspot] Birdy song? No.
A pie of some kind?
Is this usually eaten cold?
[Rosie] Pied? No
[Irouléguy] Chilly? Not usually, but not uncommon either!
Is the animal part meat?
[Raak] Meaty goodness? Yes.
Shepherd's Pie?
er, except that fails on the "pie" technicality, doesn't it. Oh well.
Does it require significant preparation?
Is pastry involved?
Is just one type of vegetable involved?
[CdM] Significant preparation? Kinda depends on what you call significant. To a student the answer probably would be yes, as it takes more effort than putting water onto the pot noodle. To Gordon Ramsey then probably yes too, but his would be far too flouncey. To me and you, No.
[Raak] Puff? No pastry.
[Irouléguy] 5-a-Day? There is more than one type of vegetable.... *scratches chin, and hopes that isn't misleading....*
Did it originate in a particular part of the world?
[Inkspot] Original? Yes, I think so.
Pizza?
Is bread involved?
Chip Butty?
Fast food?
[Projoy] Pizza? No.
[Raak] Right said Fred? Yes! (Much applause from the audience)
[INJ] Chip butty Nah.
[rab] Speedy eats? Not so fast, No within traditional definitions although they have become a bit blurred.
You're all getting very warm...
Bacon sandwich?
*Apologises for lurking*
*hits Uncle Korky over the head with a nice bacon butty for winning having lurked* Well Done Guys. Uncle Korky has seized the victory. The words on the card are indeed A Bacon Sandwich. I was rather impressed at Raak's first guess, well done that man!
Oops!
OK - I'll reiterate my apologies! Hopefully this'll be easy enough to guess so that someone more appropriate can take over the reins quickly... This one's animal and vegetable.
Sausages?
[Projoy] Walls have ears? Nope.
Is the animal part alive?
Foodstuff?
Is the animal a specific animal (species)?
it was right lat time...
[Projoy] Livin' thing? Definitely not
[Lib] Munchable? Nope
[Irg] Particular genus? Not one specific one, no...
Elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[INJ] Leg of Nellie No - not a specific animal, remember? :-) (Although one or two audience members were heard to murmur at INJ's question...)
Larger than a toaster?
[Lib] On the appliance graph... Yes, definitely bigger than a toaster
A stuffed animal head mounted on a wall?
Is the animal part leather?
Does it involve an elephant?
Bigger than a phone box?
Is it something you wear?
[Irg] "Bagged that one at..." 'fraid not
[Raak] Tanning? Yes indeedy! (outbreak of audience applause)
[Lib] More Nellie? Unlikely in the extreme!
[Projoy] TARDIS-shaped? Bigger? Difficult to say, but I'd tend towards "No". Certainly not taller.
[Inkspot] Apparrel? No (although someone extremely pedantic might argue this one).
Is it intended for protection?
(The 'elephant's foot umbrella stand' used to be a common standby in early ISIHAC Word Disassociation games)
[INJ] Safe whatever? No (but this also might be argued by someone extremely pedantic). Didn't know that about the 'EFUS' - ta!
A wigwam?
[Projoy] Teepee-tastic? No. Surely wigwams are taller than telephone boxes?
Is the leather part in the form of straps, rather than hides stitched together?
Not the one I made at infant school :) Admittedly, that wasn't leather.
[Projoy] Bondage gear? No.
I'd be interested in reading your reports from Mrs Crazy Horse...
Is it a manufactured item?
[Inkspot] "Men have made these..." Indeed it is. (Burst of applause from audience)
Is the vegetable part wood?
[Raak] Wood? Yes (or equivalent). (More applause)
A whip?
[Irg] *k'tishhhh!* Nope.
Something you sit on?
A piece of furniture?
[Rosie] Seating? Yes! (Applause, some cheering)
[Lib] Furnishings? 'fraid not.
Saddle?
Pic-nic table with leather decorations?!?!
[irach] Saddle? Nope, but there're indications that things are getting warmer...
[Lib] Words fail me... How can I put this...? No, and I'm not convinced that I want to go on a picnic with you now... :-)
Some sort of sledge?
Is seating its primary function?
I was going to suggest a Throne. But I presume UK would have called it a piece of furniture.
A chesterfield?
Sorry misread that - let's try
a chariot?
A shooting stick?
[Projoy] Sister? No (although the audience did sense a positive shift in direction here)
[Lib] Reason why? I would not say that the seating aspect is the primary function, although (clue) I believe that it is an essential factor
[INJ] Boudicca?No (although the audience have again seized on something here)
[Rosie] Bang bang? Sorry - way off the mark.
Rickshaw?
A means of transport?
Do it got wheels?
[Inkspot] Rickshaw? Sorry, no
[Rosie] Transportation? Most definitely (copious applause from audience)
[Projoy] Dey go round 'n' round? No wheels here...
A water-borne craft?
[Inkspot] Splosh Certainly is! (some audience standing to applaud now)
A kayak?
A coracle?
A rowboat?
A scull?
*blatantly lurking * - a dinghy?
Lurking behind Chalky
The Kon-Tiki?
We have a winner!
Hats off to Irouléguy - the actual words on the card were "A Traditional Welsh Coracle", but he's close enough to merit the win in my opinion! Comiserations to everyone else!
Well, that was a half-lurk, at least - apologies to those who did the hard work. With my usual impeccable timing, I'm keyboardless most of tonight and tomorrow, so let's have an easy(ish) one - our next is MINERAL and VEGETABLE.
A manufactured item?
irach] A manufactured item? *animated discussion in the audience* The more useful answer is 'no'.
Tin of Baked Beans?
Kim] Tin of Baked Beans? No (though this might go well with it)

Maybe back online later tonight - sorry, folks
Is the mineral salt?
Food?
oven ready chips?
Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved?
Mashpertater?
Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson?
Larger than a can of coke?
irach] Is the mineral salt? *applause* Yes!
Raak] Food? No(though this might go well with it)<
Inkspot] oven ready chips? See above
CdM - Was the debate about manufacturing because there is preparation involved? *more applause* Yes!
Projoy - Mashpertater? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous-but-one answer.
I Say, Porter! - Is the vegetable Antony Worrall-Thompson? No
Lib - Larger than a can of coke? This doesn't really have a size

Apologies for the delay - as a partial defence, I was delayed in The Doric Arch until closing time, so I was in the Morniverse in spirit.
Celery Salt?
Or is the vegetable pepper?
Projoy] Berry astute - salt and pepper it is. One lightly seasoned baton handed over...
OK, here's an ABSTRACT
Can you see it?
Visible? NO
Can it be perceived by the other four traditional senses?
Olfactable, Audible, Haptable, Linguable? NO
Er, having looked those up, I think I meant "olfactible, audible, tactible, gustable"
Truth?
Quid est veritas? NO
Is it a human construct?
Mathematical?
Human construct? YES
Numberish? NO
Is it a system of government?
Is it a British thing?
government? NO
British? NO, not exclusively
Solitude?
The absence of something?
Solitude? SORT OF *audience applause*
Absence of something? YES *more applause*
Have you lots your mind?
aargh. Sorry. That's wrong. I mean lost and not lots...
[Lib] No, I haven't since you ask. :)
Bereavement?
Bereavement? NO *more applause*
Death?
DEATH? NO
Widowhood?
Solipsism?
Widowhood? YES, the very word on the card. That went surprisingly quickly. Over to Rosie.
Well, that was a bit lucky, so here we go with something less grim, and it's MINERAL
Diamond?
(Lib) No, not as un-grim as that, I'm afraid.
Metallic?
Manufactured?
A particular element?
(Projoy) Not metallic, essentially.
(Lib) Manufactured would be rather an odd description, but, actually, YES.
(Irouléguy) Not an element.
Made by hand?
A liquid?
Extruded?
(Projoy) Partly hand-made, mostly not.
(Irouléguy) Not a liquid. *audience laughter*
(ISP) Not extruded. *further merriment*. Sorry about the audience; they're a cruel lot.
One specific thing?
Silly putty?
(Tuj) One specific thing? - Very much so.
(Raak) Very much not so.
Is it solid?
(Raak) YES- solid.

I think I should add that the subject also has an ABSTRACT quality, which maybe ought to have been in the original definition, otherwise this may take ages.

Fictional?
Bigger than a toaster?
(Projoy) It really exists.
(ISP) Not an Oscar.
(Tuj) If not it would have to be some toaster, so YES.
Are there many examples of it?
Do you own one?
Artwork? Sculpture?
(Projoy) There is but one.
(Lib) Erm, no. *audience hilarity*.
(ISP) Not art or sculpture.
Is it in Britain?
Is it outside?
The holy grail?
tourist attraction?
(Raak) YES - in Britain.
(Lib) *some thoughtful audience murmurs - some suppressed giggles* In the sense you ask, YES. Not the holy grail, though.
(ISP) Probably, in a very minor way.
An architectural construction?
Is it associated with Monty python? (Or am I very naughty girl?)
Stonehenge?
Some huge image carved out of the hillside somewhere?
On the coast?
(Raak) Not really architecture.
(ISP) Not Stonehenge or a man with a huge willy.
(Lib) NO, and I'D SAY YES :-)
(Projoy) On the coast? Not really ON it so much as . . .
The Coast?
The white cliffs of Dover?
Or a particular part of the British coast?
The Sands of Dee?
The Jurassic coast?
(Projoy 1) Not the coast itself.
(Lib) Not the White Cliffs.
(Projoy 2) Not The Coast anywhere.
(irach) Not the Sands of Dee.
(Irouléguy) Not the ~Jurassic coast.

You have all wandered into the outer regions of darkness where it is very cold. Look at the answer to Lib's second question. This is man-made.

A lighthouse?
(Inkspot) Not a lighthouse.
Made of stone?
A structure for sea defence?
A connection with transportation?
Chunnel?
Is it bigger than a standard ex-council three bed semi?
Projoy - YES, made of stone.
Raak - Not a sea defence.
Inkspot - YES, connected with transport *audience cheers*
ISP - Not the Chunnel, but *HUGE audience cheers*
Lib - Certainly is in one direction, maybe two.
Bah! Humber! Is it a bridge or similar construction?
The Seikan Tunnel?
[Raak] That's stretching the 'yes' for your earlier 'in Britain' question a bit far...
Is it a road?
Is it a tunnel?
ISP - NO, not a bridge
Raak - See ISP's comment.
Chalky - NO, not a road.
Lurker Kim - YES, it's a tunnel.
Is it in England?
A railway tunnel?
The Severn Tunnel?
The Blackwall Tunnel?
The world's first passenger train tunnel, the 800-yard Tyler Hill Tunnel?
One of the tunnels which make up LU?
Lib1 - Half of it
UK lurker - YES
Chalky - Not the Blackwall Tunnel
Lib2 - Would I put up anything as arcane as that? 828 yds, BTW :-)
ISP - Not part of the tube.

But we have a winner, and it's RAAK, with the Severn Tunnel. Your go.

The next is primarily MINERAL, with a small ABSTRACT connection.
No, scratch that, the next one is ABSTRACT, with MINERAL connections, tenuously related to Rosie's one.
Actually, it's ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, with a MINERAL connection tenuously related to Rosie's one.
Iron horse?
Is it an organisation?
Shurely not Riddlesdown Tunnel?
An excavation?
[irach] Not an iron horse.
[Inkspot] Not an organisatsion.
[Rosie] Not Riddlesdown Tunnel.
[Rosie] Nor an excavation.
Is the mineral connection the River Severn?
[Irou] Not connected with the River Severn. The connection is more indirect.
Is there a railway connection?
[UK] No railway connection. BTW, the mineral connection is unlikely to be helpful in solving this.
Human construct?
Is the animal human?
[CdM] The mineral connection is.
[Kim] Yes, human.
Is this a space for the use of humans?
[Rosie] Not a space.
Are we talking more than one construct here...?
[UK] No: one mineral construction tenuously related to the actual answer.
Is there just one of these?
[I] Just one (of both the actual answer and the tenuously and completely unhelpfully related mineral construction).
Is this really as complicated as it seems?
Am I correct in assuming the term "construct" is not being used in the sense of an idea or invention but in this case simply means a structure?
A bus shelter, say, as opposed to anarcho-syndicalism.
[Chalky] Not at all complicated. Just an ABSTRACT ANIMAL that I expect everyone has heard of.
[Rosie] Yes: the unhelpfully distantly related mineral thingummy is a physical structure.
Was it built during the Victorian era?
[I] Um...[google]...no.
Does it commemorate an event?
[Inkspot] Not commemorative.
And to answer again the "human construct" question (a concept I'm not quite clear on), the ABSTRACT ANIMAL is a human creation.
[Inkspot] Oh, and the ABSTRACT ANIMAL was created in the Victorian era.
Is it a place in the physical world associated with a fictional person?
[Inkspot] Quite the reverse.
Is the person a synecdoche? e.g. "the unknown soldier"?
[Projoy] Not synecdocheic. Synecdochoic. Synecdochish.
Does this mean... that we're looking for a fictional person associated with a place in the physical world...?
[UK] That is the nub, gist, and essence of the matter. Of course, the association is tenuous and unhelpful.
From the works of Lewis Carroll?
[I] applause! Yes.
The lion, from the Lion, the witch and the wardrobe?
Hmm. I sense I accidently lurked as went away for the weekend. Sorry! But its probably not right anyway.
[Lib] ROWRR! Not Aslan.
Alice herself, perhaps?
[UK] Not Alice.
The Mad Hatter?
Cheshire cat?
AArgh. I do realise what I've done above... I feel such a confused fool. sigh. Sorry for being such a plank.
Mr Tumnus, Idi Amin's doctor?
[irach] Not the Mad Hatter.
[Lib] Not the Cheshire cat. (Don't worry, ISP's just done the same.)
[ISP] I'll have whatever you're smoking.
Tweedledum (or-dee)
A character exclusively from "Through The Looking Glass"?
The queen of Hearts?
Who made some tarts.
Jabberwock? Althogh I'm not clear to which place the Jabberwock is tenuously connected
[re: C.S. Lewis Carroll] In my defence, Lib started it.
[Raak] Mr Tumnus - Narnia - James McAvoy - Last King of Scotland
The Snark (who was a Boojum, you see)
[irach] is that 'Number 23... the Snark' ... 'Number 24 The Spanish Inquisition'
In the Alice books?
[irach] Not Tweedledum-diddle-dee.
[Projoy] Yes! From "Through The Looking Glass".
Hence also [INJ] Yes, and [everyone else] No.
The Carpenter (of Walrus and the Carpenter fame?)
Humpty Dumpty
(who I believe has a particular connection to a particular wall in Gloucester)
[irach] Not the Carpenter.
[Projoy] Not Humpty Dumpty.
One of the chess pieces?
The Red King?
The White Queen?
[I] Yes, one of the chess pieces.
[i] Not the Red King.
[P] Not the White Queen.
http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext91/lglass19.txt
A silly English kernnnnnnigget?
[ISP] Yes! But which one?
The White Knight?
Tho I'm not sure of the mineral connection. Is it the "design/To keep the Menai bridge from rust/By boiling it in wine"?
The knight who says 'Ni!'
[Projoy] That sounds tenuous and unhelpful to me.
In the interest of balance, I feel compelled to ask... the Black Knight?
[UK] It's just a flesh wound. What Black Knight? Have you confused Through the Looking Glass with Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If so, my fault.
I confess - I've never read the book... made an assumption based on chess that if there's a white knight, the should be a black knight. I suppose you're going to tell me it's red instead! :-)
Indeed it is, so either you or Projoy has won (unless there are other knights I didn't notice).
Technically, there are four knights, and the white one Alice meets, according to Carroll's detailed schema for the book, is the White King's knight. The other Knight is the Unicorn. On the red side, the Red Knight that the White Knight fights is also the King's knight, with the Carpenter as the Queen's Knight. (The Walrus is the Red Queen's bishop and the Lion is the Red King's rook).
(Incidentally, the White Knight has Hatta (the Mad Hatter from the first book) as his pawn)
[Projoy] It is indeed The White Knight, and you have correctly identified the tenuous and unhelpful connection with water-traversing constructions.
[UK] You must read it, and Alice in Wonderland forthwith!
OK. This one is ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL.
Something you would find in the home?
A model of a Modern Major-General?
Human animal?
Is the vegetable wood?
[ISP] Found in the home? NO
[Lib] Human? YES, but somewhat misleading
[irach] Vegetable wood? YES, but also somewhat misleading.
Is it a single thing or are there loads of them?
A grave?
[Lib] A single thing? NO
[Raak] A grave? NO, but that may be involved
[Lib] Single thing? Well, actually, YES, this is a single thing (there is not more than one of it), but then again, it isn't.
Heather Mills' prosthetic wooden leg/
[irach] NO :)
Is the mineral metal?
[Ig] YES, but somewhat misleading.
A coffin?
A collection of objects or people?
Scrap "coffin". Must've pressed the wrong button.
[Rosie] A collection of objects or people? YES! That should save a lot of misleading answers!
Life, the Universe and Everything?
A nation?
Delimited geographically?
[INJ] The whole caboodle? NO
[UK] A nation? NO
[INJ] Delimited geographically? YES *applause*
A graveyard?
[Raak] Thriller? NO
Tate Modern or simlah?
[ISP] Art gallery? NO
Do these people have some common interest?
Haven't heard caboodle since my Mum died. Or shemozzle, though I use it myself.
[Rosie] A common interest? ARGUABLY. More YES than NO, I'd say.
Is this some sort of educational institution?
[Chalky] Nursery, school, college, Uni etc.? NO
A place? Geographical-like?
A geographicalistical place? YES!
A large city?
Not Pontefract, for example.
In Europe?
A smallish location ( a single building/city block or smaller)?
Clarification required. When you answered 'yes' to 'Is the mineral metal?', did that mean that some of the mineral involved was metal, but not necessarily all?
[Rosie] Large city? NO
[Ig] European? YES
[INJ] Smallish? NO, as you define it.
Clarification: metal is involved, but also many other minerals; there is a similarly wide variety of vegetable and animal matter.
A population centre?
[ISP] Population centre? YES, if I've understood the terminology.
St Dogmaels?
Gone, but not forgotten.
In a BENELUX country?
By population centre I meant town, village etc.
[INJ] St Dogmaels? NO *some applause*
[ISP] Benelux? NO
In Wales?
Powys to the People?
[Raak] Wedi ei wneud yng Nghmru? YES! *more applause*
[ISP] In Powys? NO
In it to Gwynedd?
[ISP] Gwynedd? NA
In south Wales
With a questionmark?
Is there a Doctor Who connection?
The contents of the Torchwood vaults?
Can you wear it? [re: Torchwood] Shurely Cardiff is bigger than Pontefract, apart from the obvious 280000 more inhabitants.
A oes cysylltiad a'r Morniverse?
Sort that out, y' bugger. :-)
[Rosie] That;s never a direct translation of 'sort that out y'bugger'
(ISP) Dead right. Actually it means Is there a connection with the . . . . . ., for the benefit of all, esp. Projoy.
[Rosie] Ah, but connections with the Morniverse are myriad, just check the appendixes to your Stovold's.
Appendices!
[Ig] South Wales? NO
[UK] Doctor Who? NO (that I can think of)
[Raak] Torchwood connection? NO
[ISP] Can you wear it? Have you ever worn a population centre?
[Rosie] Connected with the Morniverse? Hey, that's the first time a word I coined (well, I think I coined it) has been used in a Welsh sentence. :) NO.
Centre for Alternative technology?
Random tourist attraction generator in action there.
[Lib] CAT? NO. Not in Powys (see response to ISP above).
On the coast?
[Ig] Going Coastal? YES
Near the Menai Bridge?
Is it in Ceredigion?
Portmeirion?
That was more action from the Random Tourist attraction generator.
Is the generally used name of English origin, eg Swansea?
(ISP) I can no longer even lift my copy of Stovold's without doing my back in.
[Raak] Near the Menai Bridge? YES *applause*
[Chalky] Ceredigion? NO
[Lib] The village? NO
[Rosie] Anglicised name? NO!
I think the next person should be able to nod this one in.
Wild stab in the dark... Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
Can you wear it?
[Projoy] It's not CARDIGAN then.
[Uncle Korky] Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? YDY!! One extremely lengthy baton handed over. [ISP] Ah!
Still feel a bit of a fraud & lurker... still, something to be said for being in the right place at the right time... OK - I'm thinking of something ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Fictional creature?
[UK] Fret not about lurking, you did ask a couple of questions before getting it - it's not as if the answer was your only contribution on our communal road to Anglesey via Pontefract and other major population centres in Western Europe.
[IS,P] NO. The more I think about what I've picked, the more uncertain I become with the definition at the top. Let's say... ABSTRACT, with an ANIMAL connection, and hope I don't get lynched.
Is it a creature as such, then?
Maybe I'll let someone else play in a bit.
[IS,P] NOT A CREATURE. Oh, you go for it! :-) At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking! lol
Re: At least no-one can suggest you've been lurking
... or working!
A symbol?
A Human Construct?
An edifice?
[Raak] NOT A SYMBOL
[Chalky] HUMAN CONSTRUCT? ERM... TECHNICALLY... although this could be misleading...
[IS,P] NOT AN EDIFICE
Mad Cow Disease?
Many instances of it?
Tennis Elbow?
A figure of speech?
[IS,P] MOO? NOO!
[Projoy] NO (but this also could be misleading...)
[Chalky] NO - not even Badminton Bottom
[Raak] NO
Is the Animal connection necessarily human?
[Rosie] The animal connection is DEFINITELY human.
Does it refer to something that occurs naturally?
[Projoy] NO *some chuckles from audience members*
An ailment of some kind?
Sex-related?
[IS,P] NO *further chuckles from cynical audience members*
[snorgle] NO - not that I've noticed, anyway...
Is this a GOOD thing, would you say?
[Korks] Could erm ... would ... um .. you kindly pop a word or two from the question next to your reply so we don't have to search back .. pretty please :-)
Clothing or accessory?
To do with belief?
Is this found in Britain?
Could you give me one?
A double entendre?
(forced)
Connected in any way with a piece of technology?
(INJ) Forced, my fifth metatarsal. You're only marginally less salacious than Lib, not that that's saying much.
[Rosie] You know me so well, and we've never properly met!
(Lib) Shall we nip off while Uncle Korky's not looking?
Apologies for absence - not getting online at weekends at the moment. [Chalky] Comments noted and agreed! [Rosie] Comment noted - see me after class!
[Chalky] A good thing? Very much a matter of opinion.
[ISP] Clothing / Accessory? Nope.
[Projoy] Belief? I don't wish to mislead you, but many would say it's more a matter of disbelief. I hope you'll see the humour in this when you know the answer!
[Irg] In UK? Sometimes...
[Lib]I'm not that kind of chap - you'd have to buy me dinner first! Oh... er... no! :-)
[INJ] Double entendre? Non!
[Rosie] Connected with technology? Not specifically.
Any religious connection?
[Irg] God-bothering? Nope.
Connected with fiction?
[Projoy] Fiction? No (sadly not, according to some)
Global-Warming deniers?
[Rosie] Global warming deniers? No. And, as a first clue, we're looking for something more frivolous.
Food- or drink-related?
Connected with the arts?
Connected with the Morniverse?
[Irg] Scoff/quaff? No.
[Projoy] Arty? Yes *applause*.
[IS,P] Morniversal? Nope.
Skulpchah?
A particular artwork?
[IS,P] Bust? Nope
[Projoy] You've been framed? Nope
A particular artform? (can include really crap ones!)
[Projoy] I feel it would be safer to describe it as an example of a particular artform...
An example of a particular artform which is not an artwork. Curiouser and curiouser.
Karaoke?
Connected with the Visual arts?
[Projoy] Empty orchestra? Nope, but the audience knows a positive change in direction when they see it!
[INJ] Visual arts? There is a connection...
The winning entry in the Eurovision Song Contest?
That's near enough for me! The answer on the card was The Eurovision Song Contest, so a frequently cheesy and tone-deaf is passed to Irouléguy by Terry Wogan!
Erm... the word "baton" should have appeared in that sentence... *slinks away embarrassed*
I've never understood the appeal of Eurovision, myself *ducks*.
O-OK, our next is ABSTRACT with strong MINERAL connections, possibly ANIMAL or VEGETABLE or BOTH
A human construct?
Does it have its own wikipedia entry?
The activities of a group of people?
(Irg) No need to duck. Even when "ah were a lad" I thought it pretty awful and that's going back a bit. It actually seems to have got worse over the years, something we then didn't think possible.
Fictional?
I Say, Porter! - A human construct? Possibly.
Projoy - Does it have its own wikipedia entry? *Googles, Wikis* Yes. The words on the card actually have several Wiki pages, and a disambiguation page, but not all of them refer to the actual answer.
Rosie - The activities of a group of people? Possibly in the future
Eurovision] Mind you, I didn't think heavy metal could get any worse either...
Tuj - Fictional? This exists in fiction, but it may not be fictional.
A process
Projoy - A process? In one sense, possibly (but I don't think that's very useful).
Religious?
Tuj - Religious? It might be (and in several fictional representations definitely is).
An icon?
I Say, Porter! - An icon? No, Cina.
Clarification - are the animal and/or vegetable aspects also "connections" or do they refer to The Answer itself?
The animal and/or vegetable aspects may be The Answer (though none of the words on the card are animal or vegetable names)
A biological classification?
Is it a three word answer?
Rosie - A biological classification? *applause* YES
Chalky - Is it a three word answer? *more applause* YES
As a further clarification, The Answer could also be neither animal nor vegetable.
Genetically Modified Goods?
Scrub that... Is it connected with cloning?
Projoy - Is it connected with cloning? It might be (that would have served as an answer to the GM question as well).
Single-celled organism?
(I know it isn't this, but just throwing a stone to see if it hits anything)
Genus, species, commonname?
Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...!
(stealing an extra go as this one's so hard) Is it connected with mutation?
Is at least one of the words on the card Latin?
Projoy - Single-celled organism? It could be.
Lib - Genus, species, commonname? No to all
Uncle Korky - Wouldn't even know where to begin with this one...! The answer is a very common phrase, which I think everyone will recognise (not least because of its use in other contexts).
Projoy - Is it connected with mutation? It might be.
Rosie - Is at least one of the words on the card Latin? No - all plain English
Rosie] To be properly pedantic, one of the words is a Latin word which is in everyday use in English.
Something to do with alien life?
(It's not "little green men" as all three of those words are Germanic in origin).
Projoy - Something to do with alien life? *the audience begin humming John Williams tunes* YES
Extra Terrestrial Beings?
Unidentified Flying Objects?
Projoy - Extra Terrestrial Beings? Yes, but more specifically...
Raak - Unidentified Flying Objects? No
Invaders from Mars?
(or possibly just Life on Mars, I suppose.)
*Sailors fighting in the dancehall
Oh man, look at those cavemen go*
Life on Mars it is - which I thought would be got a lot sooner. Hopefully we'll grok the next one quicker...
Huzzah! I slightly carpet-bombed my way to that one, but I was bored at work today... Had a few abstracts lately, so here's an honest-to-goodness VEGETABLE
Actually, I just thought of a better one, which is NONE OF THE ABOVE
Gravity?
[Raak] Newton/Apple? NO
Can I hold it?
Is it a feeling or sensation of sorts?
[Lib] Can you hold it? NO
[irach] A feeling/sensation? NO
[Lib] There is an extremely unhelpful, but nonetheless plausible case in which one could be said to hold this thing, but NO is by far the best answer.
Nothing?
None of the above! I'd imagined that may be argued with.
A vacuum?
Not a Hoover, Dyson, Dustette, Electrolux Lite etc.
[Tuj] Nowt? NO
[Rosie] Vacuum? NO
Is it fictional?
Not Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract?
[UK] Fictional? NO, or 'twould be abstract
[Chalky] None of those.
[Chalky] If you put a gun to my head I might call it as "mineral-esque"
Is it on this planet?
[UK] On Earth? YES
Is it a form of energy?
Light?
[UK] Form of energy? YES, pretty much
[Néa] Light? YES, to an extent *applause for both questions*
A rainbow?
"My bowe betwene you and mee/in the fyrmamente shalbe"? NO
A photon?
[UK] Photon? NOT OHP.
Electromagnetic radiation?
Lightning?
Fire?
[UK] Good guess!
[rab] Electromagnetic radiation? IT IS INVOLVED...
[UK] Lightning? NO
[Tuj] Fire? YES, altho as this has been short, I shall be a stickler and note that that is not what's written on the card.
Is it all about elementary particles?
Well, everything is, but you know what I mean.
[Rosie] Elemental, my dear boson? YES, but Tuj pretty much has his finger on the answer. At this moment it's a mere matter of near-synonymity.
Flames?
A pestilential conflagration of vapours
[UK] Close enough. The words on the card are A Flame. Hands immolatory Olympic torch to Uncle Korky
[Projoy] Thanks, my good sir!
[Tuj] Apologies - seems I was more bored at work today than you!
Why do I do this? Win just before the weekend, when I won't be online 'til I'm back in the office at 8.30 on Monday? Never mind, it'll give you all a chance to get your thinking caps on again... This one's MINERAL.
A single specific object?
I am genuinely doing this in a (temporarily paused) meeting.
Naturally occurring?
[Raak] You think that's impressive? I frequently post to MC sites in meetings, even, occasionally, bi-lateral ones.
Ok, I am now posting from a meeting in progress.
Mainly metal?
Well, I'm posting, between shovelfuls, from the footplate of a large steam engine which I can hardly stand up on. Bloody railtours.
Well, I'M not even bothering to post a question - so there :)
(Chalks) Very sensible, m'dear. We could have a discussion on the likely subject in the light of UK's previous, the Eurovsion Song contest. As it's mineral shall a start the ball rolling by suggesting an OLD HEAVY CHINA TEAPOT, which could be hurled at the box during the broadcast of this ludicrous eisteddfod.
Potty syntax - "shall a" = "I shall".
Diamond?
It's got to come up one day.
edible?
Related to salt?
Why have I guessed three times? I dunno, I just felt like it.
Well, I'm not posting this from a meeting, it being Saturday morning, but I am listening to Radio 4 while riding a unicycle and cooking breakfast for four hundred Swedish Naval officers.
It's now Sunday and I'm posting this from the Dome of St. Paul's cathedral, where I'm wearing a "Kiss Me Slow" hat and blessing nearby paupers with holy porridge.
[Projoy] Yer mad you :-) AND why are you posting so early when we've all lost an hour's sleep? Talking of lost hours, which we weren't, but I'm going to anyway ... how long can I get away with the "oops sorry I'm late waking up/for work/cooking the dinner, but my head tells me it's still a whole hour earlier"?

This is AVMA, yes? I'm still not posting a question, so there.
[Chalky] The lost hour thing doesn't last for long I'm afraid. I was a particularly happy bunny as I was on nights this time (apart from the fact that it was over my birthday, so I had to work twice on said day) but I gained the short shift when 1am magically became 2am.
Can you hold it?
I am playing this game. All alone at the moment. Anyone want to play with me?
Okay, folks - weekend's over, and can give you my full attention once more:
[Raak] Single specified object? YES, but might be misleading
[Projoy] Naturally occurring? YES
[Rosie] Mainly metal? ERM... QUITE POSSIBLY. Teapot? ERM... NO
[Lib] Diamond? NO. Edible? NO (audience is amused). Related to salt? NO.
[Projoy] There's another 'AMVA game' on this site, y'know!
Smaller than a toaster?
Erm, still wondering if you can hold it...
[Lib]
[Lib] Smaller than a toaster? NO. Manually graspable? NO.
Larger than a phone box?
Size does matter!
Bigger than St. Paul's?
Bigger than Wales?
[Lib] Larger than a phone box? YES. Size matters? Hmmph. Well, I've never had any complaints...
[Raak] Bigger than St Paul's? YES
[Lib] Bigger than Wales? YES
The Earth?
[Lib] Terra firma? NO
The planet Mercury?
[Rosie] Mercury? NO
Part of the Earth?
Bigger than the moon?
[Raak] Part of the Earth? NO
[Lib] Bigger than the moon? YES
Bigger than the Earth?
I'm going to get its size eventually!
[Lib] Bigger than the Earth? I'd have to say YES, although (and this is a big game-ending clue) this would be AS A WHOLE...
The Universe?
Erm, sorry guys. I'm revising you see. Get easily distracted from the finer points of pharmacology.
[Lib] The whole caboodle? NO
The Kuiper belt?
The galaxy?
Is it gaseous?
Does it contain more mass than the earth?
*Wanders in. Remembers last time. Beats a hasty retreat.*
The (main) asteroid belt?
(According to Wikipedia, "The total mass of the Asteroid belt is estimated to be 3.0-3.6×1021 kilograms,[4][5] which is 4% of the Earth's Moon. Of that total mass, one-third is accounted for by Ceres alone.")
The moons of Jupiter?
[Raak] Kuiper belt? TOO FAR OUT, MAN...
[Lib] The Galaxy? NO
Tuj] Gaseous? NO (although probably depends on your sense of scale!)
[Rosie] More mass than the Earth? APPARENTLY NOT! Glad I didn't have to look that one up myself!
[Irouléguy] Tie 'em down, child! NO
[Projoy] The (main) asteroid belt? We have a winner! One knobbly and rock-encrusted baton passed on!
Just passing...
Oops, overslept this morning so only just saw this. I won't be able to check in until this evening, but in the meantime have this VEGETABLE
s/check in/check in again
Broccoli?
[Lib] George H. W. Bush's least favourite food? NO
Edible?
Manufactured?
Wooden?
Unique?
Fictional?
Now extinct?
[Ig] Edible? YES
[Lib] Manufactured? NO
[Raak] Wooden? NO
[Tuj] Unique? NO
[ISP] Fictional? NO
[UK] Extinct? NO
One vegetable or made of many?
[Lib] YES, er, NO... er...
Grown in Britain?
Common?
[Raak] Grown in Blighty? NO
[Lib] Common? DEPENDS, but not common in Britain, for example.
[Lib] Further clarification on your last. I was slightly fatuously pretending not to know what you meant as it wasn't a yes/no question. There is, however, a clear answer: ONE VEGETABLE.
A piece of fruit?
Have a banana.
Begins with P?
[Lib] Fruit? YES! *applause*
[Tuj] P-headed? NO
A berry?
[Ink] I come not to praise Caesar...? NO
pomegranite
pear
plum
peach
persimmon
paw-paw
papaya
pomelo
passion fruit
durian?
WHO BROUGHT THAT DURIAN IN HERE?


Grows on a tree? (rather than a bush/on the ground etc)

Inna bunch?
Mango?
[CdM] Durian? NO
[INJ] On a tree? NO
[Ink] Bunched? NO
[Lib] Mango? NO
Equal to or larger than your average avacado?
[Lib] >= avocado's number? NO
Is it eaten with its skin rather than peeled?
Is it a berry?
Grown in Europe?
[Lib] BZZZT!
Drat! I read PJ's reply, and I didn't think that berries were bunched so I got confused, I'll try again...

Does it have a stone?

Is it a dried fruit?
Avocado's Number. I like that. :-)
I Say, Porter!
[Lib] They're not, I think the BZZZT was for repetition of 'is it a berry' half an hour after Projoy had said 'no'.
Can it be eaten raw?
[Inks] skIn? NO
[UK] EU? NO
[Rosie] Dried? NO
[Ig] Edible raw? YES (I think).
Is it usually served as/in a drink?
Have you ever eaten one (or part of)?
Dr [Inks] ? NO
[Rosie] Have I eaten one? NO
Have I ever eaten one?
[CdM] I wouldn't put it past you.
originally from Africa?
Lib's question about being stoned still awaits an answer.
A tropical fuit?
Does it stink as badly as a durian?
Is it generally considered to be a suitable foodstuff for humans?
[Lib] Got stone? NO (sorry for delay)
[INJ] Out of Africa? YES
[Inks] Tropical? I THINK SO (arguable, I think)
[Raak] My dog's got no nose? NO
[UK] Fit for human consumption? YES.
Peanuts?
[INJ] See response to Tuj.
Does its plant have thorns?
Can't help myself...
[flerdle] Does it have runic letters on it? YES, and nice to see you back here.
:-)
pequi?
Don't really know what one of those is.
Ps. Hello flerdle. Lovely to see you.
[Lib] See response to Tuj :)
Bah!
Green when ripe?
[ISP] Green when ripe? NO
Is it a nut?
[I knew I should have said 'Ground Nuts')
orange colour?
[INJ] Nut? NOT
[Lib] orange? YES!
Mandarin?
Naartjie?
(though actually that grows on a tree)
Tangerine?
That's more african, I believe.
Something Cactussy?
[Lib] ... but not quite 'Tree-NO' or 'Thorns-YES'.
Hmmmm. Indeed. *strokes chin and ponders*
[Lib] Mandolin? NO
[INJ] Naartjie? NO
[Lib] Tangerine? NO
[ISP] Cactussy? NOT REALLY.
Thy search hath borne fruit
A recap: An edible fruit, native to Africa. It is orange (when ripe), grows on a bush, which boasts thorns, and does not begin with P. It is larger than an avocado and does not contain a stone. It is not a berry, nor, as a free clue, a citrus fruit.
Larger than an avacado?
I was working on smaller than...
Does it have pips?
If it does then I'll never eat it. I've got a mild phobia of pips. They're horrid! Keep them away from me.
[Lib, re size] That would be understandable, now that I come to realise that I clearly don't know the difference between < and > ! Curses, and apologies. In addition to being definitely larger than an avocado, it is not eaten with its skin and I'm not sure if it would be described as tropical, altho I can see reasons why it might.

[Lib] Pipped to the post? YES
Does it belong to the melon family?
Size certainly matters, as I'm sure you know! But its easy to get confused. I'm particularly bad at right and left, slightly concerning when I'm at work and these things matter!
[Lib] Of the House of Melon? YES! *muchos applause*
The orange melon?
[Raak] The Orange Melon? NO
Honeydew melon?
I'd like to retract that, Can I guess...

Canteloupe?

ah, size makes all the difference. p.s. you can get orange honeydews.
Is it grown in New Zealand?
[Lib] Honeydew or Canteloupe? NO
[flerdle] Grown in NZ? YES
Horned Melon?
[Lib] Horned Melon? (or Horny Melon, as I like to call it) YES!!. And just in time for me to get on a train to Manchester and disappear for a few hours. Apologies once again for misleading you all about the size. * hands bulbous, spiky baton to Lib*
*Wonders if she'll bump into Projoy tonight when she ventures into central Manchester for a concert...*
Right. ABSTRACT, MINERAL with possibly some ANIMAL thrown in.
Second thoughts. That one was crap....
ABSTRACT, with some ANIMAL and MINERAL.
A fictional thingy?
A hip operation?
A human concept
I keep using that, saw it first here, have no idea what it means really.
[IS,P] Totally fictitious? NO. [Rosie] Hip, Hip Horray? NO. [IS,P] Humane? YES.
Hmmm, missing some breaks I think. Will be better next time!
Can you tell us what the first one was without giving a clue to the second?
:P
Can I tell you what the first one was? YES
Partially ficitious?
[Pj] Slightly made up? YES, and NO. Sorry.
Connected with emotions?
[Pj] Feeling emotional? YES.
Positive emotions, particularly?
Is the mineral water?
[Pj] Positivity? Can't answer this, sorry.
[Rosie] Dihydrogen oxide? NO
Does it begin with an E?
Does it begin with P?
[Pj] On E? NO
[Tuj] Can I have a P please Bob? NO.
Is the animal bit human?
[Irouléguy] Humane? YES!
A theory or something theoretical?
[Tuj] That's the theory. NO
Is the mineral an artefact?
A particular class of thing?
[Irouléguy] artifactual? NO
[Projoy]Classy? NO, it is a specific thing, although still abstract!
Is confused about "fictitious no, but fictional yesandno"
is it art?
Is it to do with empathy?
[ISP] I feel your pain.
Art? YES.
Empathy? NO.

Clarification. Sorry to confuse you, I've confused myself too. so...
Fictional? (ie 1. the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration, esp. in prose form. 2. works of this class, as novels or short stories: detective fiction. 3. something feigned, invented, or imagined. 4. the act of feigning, inventing, or imagining. 5. an imaginary thing or event, postulated for the purposes of argument or explanation.) NO
Fictitious? Having looked at many definitions, NO to most but YES to "imaginatively produced or set forth".

Sorry to get in a twist, hope this helps a little. (The dictionary definitions are to help my easily overwhelmed mind, as I know you are all far more eloquent than me!)

A particular artwork? Tracy Emin's Bed?
[ISP] One in particular? YES
Dirty sheets? NO
A piece of visual art?
[Irouléguy] Seen? NO
Heard?
[Irouléguy] Noisy? YES! *much applause from audience*
Classical music
A brass band?
Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?
Sixties pop?
[Projoy] Classical? YES
[Rosie] Shiny brass? NO
[CdM] Lonely hearts? NO
[IS,P] 60s? NO
The Anvil Chorus?
[Raak] Anvil Chorus? NO
Pre-19th century?
Written for voices (with or without instruments)?
[Raak] Pre 1800? NO
[Projoy] Choral? NO
Geman composer?
[UK] Bratwurst? NO
The Planets?
[Raak] Holst's Finest? NO.
Owt to do with Edvard Greig?
[UK] Grieg-y baby? NO.
For brass? Thinking Libery Bell
[IS,P] Shiny brass? Still NO
Bugger. Missed Rosie's post. Sorry.
Brass?
Only joking. Italian composer?
[IS,P] Pizza maker? NO.
Despite all these NOs you really are quite close. I'm here for another twenty minutes then am going to be examined, so will be back drunk later.
English?
Cool! I want one of those examinations that gets you drunk. Are you studying to be a sommelier?
[IS,P] Her Majesty's finest? NO
The getting drunk time is after the exam. I suspect that during it wouldn't go down too well.
French? Is the nationality of the composer going to help?
Gotcha. Isn't April a bit early for exams?
[IS,P] Frog's legs? YES! It may help a little, but isn't the holy grail.
Not uni exams. Postgrad medical exams. Bloody hard ones at that too. I'm taking anaesthetic exams.
Claude Achille Debussy, died nineteen eighteen?
Anaesthetic exams
Shurely all exams are anaesthetic.
[IS,P] Debussy? NO
Indeed all exams induce somnolence.
Ravel and his sodding Bolero?
[IS,P] Sodding bolero? NO. God I hate that piece. The only cool bit is the gong at the end, and its a long 20 minute wait till that features.
Dukas and his Sorcerer's Apprentice?
Dominating this simply because you've only got ten minutes. Well, that's my excuse.
[IS,P] Fansatia? NO
Well, have a good exam. I've run out of ideas.
La Cathédrale Engloutie?
[Raak] Isn't that Debussy?
Jean-Michel Jarre? Oxygene?
Tubular Bells?
[Raak] LOOL. You're taking the mickey, right? Mike Oldfield's not French.
A member of Les Six?
I'm under the infulence. Head spinning. Exam over.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Can't manage more HTML than that. Sorry.
Died in C20th?
Still alive? Was it a practical exam?
Carnival of the Animals, Vegetables, Minerals and Abstracts?
[Projoy] Died 20C? YES!
[IS,P] Still alive? NO, dead. Animal carnival, very very warm.
Danse Macabre?
Erik Satie?
Saint-Saëns?
Is all Ravel out, or just Bolero? Might I suggest Ravel's "N'allez pas au bois d'Ormonde"?
Sorry for my absence. I had to go to work twice which was quite a shock to the system. You're all exceedingly warm, and I hope someone gets it in the next hour as I'm off to Wales for Easter. Anyway, enough chat, onto the matter in hand...
[Projoy] deatly dancing? NO
[Irouléguy] Eric the hungry catapiller NO.
[gil] The fantastic Camille Saint-Saëns? YES!!! But there's something else on the card.... Think BIG!
[StormWraith] Revels, anyone? Ravel is totally out.
Third Symphony, with its big throbbing organ?
[Projoy] Big organ goodness? YES!!! The exact words on the card are far more polite, briefly stating Saint-Saëns' Third symphony ("organ concerto"). Well done. *hands an organ pipe shaped baton back to Projoy*
Phew. Well, I don't expect this to take off as everyone's going to be disappearing off for the long weekend, but here's a VEGETABLE.
Is it alive?
[GL] It lives?! NO
edible?
Wooden?
[INJ] Eat Me! YES *applause*
[Rosie] Tree-born? NO
Exotic?
Typically eaten raw?
[Rosie] Exotic? NO *one or two audience members begin to applaud as you begin to talk but quickly stop themselves*
[CdM]Raw? NO (with some potential for quibbling).
Does it grow on trees?
Taking "not tree-born" above to mean not wooden.
[Rosie] Grows on trees? NO is by far the best answer. There's a defensible YES answer, tho.
Is it usually dried?
[Raak] Dried? NO
Edible part leafy?
[Rosie] It's all edible. No leaves involved. :)
A tomato?
[Rosie] Tomato? NO
Does it grow on a bush?
[Raak] George W? NO
Does it grow 'beneath' the soil?
A fungus?
Can I find it in Tesco?
[Chalky] Comes out of the ground? NO *some laughter from audience*
[Raak] Fungus? NO (ISTR a debate a while back about whether to count fungi as Vegetable. I'm in the "no" camp on that one, fwiw. :))
[ISP] Tescabile? YES!
Does it come in a variety of colours?
[Raak] Variety of colors? YES, as in, more than one.
Honey?
[Raak] Is there honey still for tea? NO
Is it solid?
...by which I mean rigid, pickuppable, even if it has voids within
[Raak] Solid? YES, in the sense you give.
Cabbage?
The most disgusting taste known to mankind.
[Rosie] Eat yer greens? NO
Normally eaten on its own?
[Ig] A solo dish? YES
Strong flavour?
[Lib] Strong flavour? This is subjective, but I would be inclined to say NO, on balance.
Is it primarily grain?
[Raak] With the grain? NO
Is it usually processed before being eaten (other than simply cooking)?
Does it feature in Peanuts round about this time of year?
Does it come in a bunch?
[Phil] Processed? YES! *applause*
[ISP] I don't read Peanuts, so I'm NOT SURE, but it wouldn't surprise me if that were so.
[Lib] Bunch? NO
From the genus Cucurbita?
[Ig] Cucurbita? NO
Dates?
[Rosie] Genus Calenda? NO
Easter eggs?
[Raak] Hoorah! YES!, the answer is "Easter Egg" (meaning the chocolate variety. I didn't include ANIMAL (milk) as I believe you can get dark chocolate eggs. *hands over bulbous, brown, slighly sticky baton to Raak*
The next one is M I N E R A L.
Stonehenge?
Diamond?
Solid?
Metal?
[Tuj] Not Stonehenge
[Lib] Not diamond.
[Projoy] Pickuppable, yes.
[Rosie] Primarily metal.
Peanuts
[Projoy] I was referring to the Great Pumpkin, and on reflection I'm not sure it's this time of year - I've a niggling voice in my head that suggests halloween.
[ISP] Not art.
Smaller than a toaster?
[Projoy] Smaller than a toaster.
Bigger than a matchbox?
A manufactured object?
Projoy - Bigger than a matchbox.
ImNotJohn - A manufactured object.
Matchboxes
Actually, it could be smaller than a matchbox, but not usually.
A child's toy?
A tool of some kind?
[ISP] Not a toy.
[Rosie] One would not ordinarily call it a tool.
A container?
A device?
[ISP] Not a container.
[ISP] YES! A device.
electronic?
[Projoy] Can be electronic.
Does it measure something?
Communication device?
[ISP] Yes, it measures something.
[Lib] Not a communication device.
A tape measure?
Weighing?
[Projoy] Not a tape measure.
[Lib] Does not weigh anything. Er, if you see what I mean.
Measures something invisible?
[Projoy] *applause* Yes, it measures something invisible.
Are most instances of it electronic these days?
A carbon monoxide detector?
[Projoy] Yes, usually electronic.
[Rosie] Not a carbon monoxide detector.
Measuring distances?
Measures some sort of radiation?
[I1] Not distances.
[I2] Not radiation.
Multimeter? Electricity meter?
A barometer?
[gil] Does not measure volts, amps, ohms, continuity, capacitance, impedance, hFE, diode leakage, or anything else electrical.
[Projoy] Not a barometer.
Used indoors?
Anemometer?
[ISP] Used indoors.
[Projoy] Not an anemonomometer.
Am I likely to own one?
Does it measure time?
A stopwatch?
[I] Quite likely to own one.
[P] *cheering* Yes, it measures time.
[P] Not a stopwatch.
An alarm clock?
[INJ] BRRRRRNNNNGGGG! It is indeed an alarm clock.
*applauds* That was a good one.
Ooooh
OK - I'm going out this evening, so you've got about half an hour and then a gap of 14 hours. This one is basically Mineral with Animal connections
Is it art?
Is it science?
[IS,P] Yes, but is it art? - NO
[Chalky] Science - NO (except in extremely broad uses of the term)
Is it found in the home?
[IS,P] domestic? - NO
Constructed?
[IS,P] constructed - YES
A single, specific object?
[IS,P] - zoo - NO
[PJ] one is one and all alone? - NO (they may not be legion, but there is more than one)
A building of some sort?
[IS,P] building - NO
A Henge?
Stonehenge, Brasshenge, Bakelitehenge etc.
[Rosie] hengist? - NO
Bigger than a phone box?
[Projoy] > phone box - YES
Bigger than a terraced house?
Something made largely of chalk?
[Projoy] 2 up 2 down - NO
[IS,P] Chalky - NO
Is it functional?
Is it specific to a particular country or culture?
Bigger than a shed?
Old, i.e. >500 yrs?
[IS,P] functional? - YES
[Irg] cultural specificity - Hmmm. YESish (but that's probably not going to help much)
[Projoy] > shed - YES
[Rosie] Old? - NO
Is it in a specific location?
Is there only one of it?
Generally lives outside?
Mostly metallic?
Too nice a day to be inside
[IS,P] In specific location - NO
[IS,P] Only one? - NO (see previous answer)
[Projoy] in the open air? - YES (some applause)
[Rosie] Mostly metallic? - YES (the 'basically mineral' description means that there will be some vegetable and animal, but not significant amounts)
Found in densely populated places or in the country?
A Henry Moore sculpture?
[Projoy] dense people - could be either, I've seen one in a densely populated area
[Raak] lots of brass - NO
Anything to do with transport?
[Raak] Transport? - YES (Applause)
A preserved steam engine?
A traction engine?
[Rosie] steam engine - NO
[Projoy] in traction? - NO
Essentially mobile?
For transporting people?
A milk float?
[Rosie] essentially Mobile - YES
[Irg] For transporting people? - YES
[Projoy] Erniemobile - NO
Does it carry just a single person?
Some sort of lorry?
[Raak] just for one - NO
[Projoy] Lorry - NO
Bus?
Client site all day today - don't know how often I'll get on here
[Projoy] bus - NO
A particular make/model of car?
Connected with farming?
Airborne?
Do it got wheels?
A hot air balloon?
Does it run on rails?
Does it run on cables?
Does it carry its own fuel with it?
Sorry - no access today until now
[Irg] particular make/model of car? - NO
[Projoy] agricultural - NO
[Rosie] Airborne - NO (some laughter)
[Projoy] Wheeled? - YES
[Lib] Montgolfière? - NO
[UK] on rails - NO
[Raak] wiry? - NO
[UK] Does it carry its own fuel with it? - YES
Military?
[Raak] military? - originally YES, but now usually NO(more audience applause)
A jeep?
[Phil] Jeep? - NO (I thought that would be the next guess)
A Hummer?
DUKW?
Motorbike and sidecar?
Scratch that. doesn't fit the 'bigger than a shed' criterion
Mobile Canteen?
One of those VW camper vans with the concertina top?
We have a winner
[Uncle Korky] - Well done. A DUKW it is!
The other answers are therefore obvious. I'm disappointed that no-one examined the animal connection, nor did I ever manage to answer both land and water transport.

One slightly damp baton handed on.

*is a little embarrassed at having lurked to victory again*
Sorry about this delay, but I've got a job interview this morning, which I need to concentrate on. I'll post your new clue when it's all over (probably about lunchtime).
[UK] Good Luck! Keep focused and you'll shine. I had an interview (in Cardiff of all places) yesterday and it was actually quite fun. (I know I am a strange thing.) It was fun because the topic for the presentation I was asked to prepare was 'me', and as I'm sure you all know I have no problems talking about myself! GOOD LUCK!!!! Or, hope it went well, if you've already done it.
DUKW
I have a feeling that Connie Booth would have been found not guilty in Holy Grail - they'd never prove she weighed the same as a DUKW.
[Lib] Cheers, m'dear! It went pretty well, and should hear by the end of the week. [IS,P] Perhaps my guess was inspired by knowing England were going to face South Africa later that day...
Anyway - a new clue... let's say... animal.
Alive?
The England cricket team?
Livin' Thing? YES
All out? NO
After a bit of thinking, I'll tinker with the classification to say that it's animal with an abstract element.
One of it?
A job title?
Singular? YES *applause*
Jobsworth? NO
Fictional?
You're making it up? You could argue this either way, he says enigmatically...
Human?
Homo sapiens? YES *applause*
is it art?
Art? Not even in the broadest or most generous uses of the term!
Is it an avatar?
Is this person a charlatan?
Mrs Trellis?
Ever been alive?
Avatar? I had to check the definition on this one: the only explanation I found was an earthly incarnation of a divine personage, so the answer to this is NO. However, I suspect this may not be what you meant...
Charlatan? NO.
Trellis? NO *some applause*
Ever been alive? You could argue this either way, he says enigmatically...
The lovely Samantha?
The invisible woman? NO *similar level of applause as before*, as I can see how you're thinking...
Male?
Blokeish? YES *applause*
Humph?
Lyttleton? NO *diminishing applause* I think you're getting misled by earlier applause...
Archie Andrews?
An educated guess? NO
Is heard on the radio?
An actor playing a role?
Aged under 40?
Sven?
Borat?
Mycroft?
Avatar
I was thinking 'graphical representation in a game of a real person'
Wireless? NO
Actor? NO
Under 40? YES
The rippling one? NO
Borat? NO
Mr Holmes snr? NO
Avatar II? NO - but the audience senses that IS,P is poking around the right area, and responds with appropriate *applause*.
Is this person advertising something?
Back after these important messages? NO
Is it 'Uncle Korky' - is what I was trying, and failing, to get at.
We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Uncle Korky", so one morniversal baton is well and truly passed on!
[uk] However did you think of that one?
The next one is Mineral. In the immortal words of Ron Pickering "away you go"
Unique?
[Tuj] One is one and all alone and evermore shall be so? NO
Metallic?
Useful?
[Tuj] Metallic YES
[Projoy] Useful? NOT AS SUCH
Bigger than a toaster?
Is it art?
[Tuj] Toastier than thou? YES [Korky] Art for Art's Sake? NOT AS SUCH
This is quite hard, isn't it? Ages since I did the setting for one of these.
Is it beautiful?
[Projoy] Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So... I wouldn't call it beautiful, whadda you think?
A work of architecture?
Is it bigger than the average garden shed?
[Raak] Millenium Tent? NO
[Uncle 'Two Sheds' Korky] NO.
Human-made?
[Projoy]A made thing? YES
Is it still manufactured nowadays?
[UK] Two questions in one? I'll choose to answer Is it manufactured. NO
Hmmm... Human-made - yet NOT manufactured... Is it a by-product?
All that is not unique is not manufactured.
[UK] Manufactured: to produce goods in large numbers, usually in a factory using machines.
Is it a by-product? Of what? The answer's NO anyway, I'm just curious.
I think my point is you can make more than one of a thing without manufacturing being involved at all.
... is going to sit in Place Luxembourg basking in the sunshine with a couple of cool beers ('cos it's Happy Hour - 2 for 1). Pissed if back later.
Are instances of this still being made?
(to re-pose the remainder of UK's question)
Is this specific to a particular culture or country?
[INJ] in production? The thing itself NO, images of the thing YES, in fact probably even manufactured (sorry, Korks).
[Irg]YES audience applause
Begins with P?
Bigger than a phone box?
[Tuj] P Please Bob? NO
[Pj] Between Phonebox and Shed? NO
Is it an implement?
[Kim] Implement? NO
Still confused... Is is hand-made?
Are the various instances of this essentially the same?
i.e. there is only one design and differences are due to variations in the making process.
Bigger than a tea-chest?
[UK] Handmade YES
[INJ] YES, recognisably similar.
[Pj] NO even smaller still than a tea chest. For free, it's larger than a tea caddy.
[ISP] We know it is. :) You already told us it's larger than a toaster :)
An example of a craft?
*quietly points out that, etymologically at least, the word "manufactured" means "hand-made"**
[Pj] Crafted? YES.
[Man-u-facture] Pardon me for using dictionaries to look up definitions. It won't happen again.
Is it light enough to be carried?
[UK] Portable? YES but unhelpful I expect. Not my first unhelpful answer, either.
A household item?
...however you wish to interpret that.
[Tuj] One in every home? NO
Does it belong outside?
Is the particular country/culture European?
Metal all the way through?
[Tuj] Out of doors? YES audience applause
[Irouléguy] Europe to something? YES indeed
[Projoy] Showing its mettle? YES more audience applause
Well done all three.
Street furniture?
Used in sport?
Red in colour?
[Pj] NOT street furniture.
[Irg] NOT used in sport
[Lib] Red? NOT AS SUCH.
A sculpture?
[CdM] Sculpted? YES audience goes wild. I still maintain that it is not ars gratia artis as such.
Does it have a purpose beyond aesthetics?
(particularly since you claim it is not beautiful)
[CdM] Purpose? YES it does indeed. (particularly since I think it's just a gimmicky piece of tat)
Is it painted?
[UK] Painted? NO
British?
Does it have moving parts?
[INJ] British? NO, foreign, I'm afraid.
[UK] NO. raucous audience laughter
Has discovered it's fun to say 'raucous'...
Does it convey information in some form?
*Blushing in the ridicule of the audience*
[UK] Info? NO.
PS it's not ridicule. You said 'parts'
Is it particularly British?
[IS,P] Ah! I just though I was being spectacularly wrong!
Keep up, UK!
... INJ asked that forty minutes ago. NO still.
Is it... British? NO - I'M KIDDING! Is it Italian?
OK - NOW I'm blushing!
Country specifics
[UK] Italian? NEANCHE.
The Manneken-Pis?
(although I'm not sure what its purpose would be)
We have a winner! The very words on the card are "Manneken Pis", and its purpose is "fountain" unless that counts as street furniture in which case its purpose is "tourist attraction", particularly with all the crappy shabby costumes they put on the nasty little sod. One manneken pis baton shaped like a corkscrew passed on! Thank god for that, the answering questions is much harder than the asking. I shall be sure to avoid getting anything right for the foreseeable future.
moving parts
[UK] It has water moving through its parts...
[IS,P] NOW I understand the merriment...!
Can't help thinking that your 'parts' hilarity contributed to CdM's victory. After all, it was the first real guess.
[IS,P] Yes, that audience reaction contributed, together with your location and your "gimmicky piece of tat" comment. OK, this one is

VEGETABLE and ABSTRACT
A turnip in the shape of a thingy
With acknowledgements to Richard Curtis
A work of art?
A wooden sculpture?
Fictional?
Carrot flavour?
Barry Took?
An English rose?
Triffids?
An auspicious start
Thingy-shaped neep? No.
Work of art? No.
Wooden sculpture? No.
Fictional? No.
Carrot flavour? No.
Barry Took? No.
English Rose? No.
Triffids? No.
Edible?
Is it manufactured?
*avoids stare from IS,P*
Edible? Yes. *some applause and a couple of giggles from the audience*
Manufactured? No.
A culinary masterpiece?
Customarily eaten?
Culinary masterpiece? No. *a few more giggles*
Customarily eaten? Either a definite yes, or a definite no. I think I need to ask you to rephrase the question. *much animated discussion in the audience*
Eaten intentionally?
(i.e. would someone order this in a restaurant)
Is it made to be eaten?
A deep-fried Mars bar?
Is it eaten customarily only in a particular area or region?
Eaten intentionally? Yes. (although you wouldn't order it in a restaurant as such)
Made to be eaten? Yes. (although it is not made as such)
A deep-fried Mars Bar? No.
Region-specific? No.
Eaten raw?
Raw? In part.
customarily drunk?
...or inhaled?
More than one veg?
[Chalks] Thought that first one was a description ;op
[ISPers] yes - the 3 words sit rather well together :-)
Is it normally an ingredient in other dishes?
Begins with P?
:)
Brown in colour?
Customarily drunk/inhaled? No.
More than one veg? Yes. *substantial audience applause*
An ingredient? No.
Begins with either A-O, or Q-Z? Yes.
Brown? In part, probably yes.
Vegemite?
Vegemite? No. (I think that would be more than brown "in part" :-) )
A salad?
Is it meant for human consumption?
[CdM] Was that a yes to my question or yours?
Shurely "a-o or q-z YES" = "P NO"...?
A salad? No. *scattered applause*
Meant for human consumption? Yes. *more giggles from the same impolite people who were giggling earlier*
Yes to my question or yours? Yes.
I remind you all that this is abstract as well as vegetable.
Small potatoes?
Are there any specific required components?
i.e. Must this always include say, a particular veg.
Small potatoes? No.
Specific required components? No. *audience applause and some laughter*
Humble pie?
Humble pie? No.
A mess of potage?
... our speciality, just aubergine and carnation petals ... with a six-shilling bottle of Mule du Pape ... Flanders & Swann
Meat-and-two-veg?
Fnarr Fnarr
Is this a figurative expression?
Normally eaten cold?
5 a day?
3 and in?
Fnarr Fnarr
Mess of pottage? No.?
Filet mignon a la Bearnaise, mousseline d'asperges and chips? No. *some audience laughter*
Figurative? No.
Revenge? No.
5 a day? No.
3 and in? No.
Is it defined by the absence of something?
Strawberry Tart without so much rat in it?
Defined by absence of something? Yes. *audience rises to feet and gives standing ovation*
Ratless tart? No.
"Yes - we have no bananas"?
Banananalessnessness? No.
is tofu involved?
Tofu involved? It certainly could be.
Vegetarian cuisine?
Vegetarian Cuisine? No. *audience erupts in rapturous cheers*
Associated with a particular country or culture?
[IS,P] True. But usually when you ask a question you expect it to be answered rather than its negative answered. I think my confusion was justified anyway.
Does it involve pastry?
Veganism?
The words on the card are "A Vegan Diet", but I think Projoy gets close enough. *Hands baton carved from sealbone to Projoy*
I tried a vegan diet, but they're really hard to kill.
And there was me about to guess fruitarianism...
Back in the hotseat again. Here's an honest-to-goodness ABSTRACT that shouldn't take a moment to guess.
Is it art?
[ISP] Turner-prizewinning? NO
Occurs naturally?
Fictional?
[ISP] Naturally occurring? YES
[UK] Fictional? DON'T KNOW
Self-referential?
Begins with P?
I was going to guess "The answer", but then I saw Raak's question :P
[Raak] Self-referential? NO
[Tuj] P? NO
(I should own up to entertaing some doubt as to whether this is wholly, or indeed at all abstract, but OTOH, it is definitely none of the other three - abstract is probably a more helpful category than none at all)
s/entertaing/entertaining
Is it a physical thing?
A measurement of some kind?
Anything to do with elementary particles?
a phenomenon of some kind?
[Raak] Physical? NO
[Tuj] Measurement? YES *applause*
[Rosie] To do with elementary particles? YES, I GUESS SO
[ISP] A phenumbenumenon? YES, I GUESS
That was a successful round.
Beaufort? Richter?
A measurement of something electrical?
To do with time?
[ISP] Beaufort, Richter? NO
[Raak] Something electrical? NO
[Lib] Time? YES *applause*
The number of vibrations of a cesium atom in one second?
Carbon dating?
[Raak] Wiggly Caesium? NO
[ISP] Carbon dating? NO
A Second?
A leap year?
A moment?
[Lib] A second? NO
[UK] Leap Year? NO
[Lib] A moment? YES, but that's not The Answer *significant and sustained applause*
The Planck time?
The moment of truth?
*sings "One moment in time..."* ?
[Raak] Planck time? NO
[Lib] Moment of truth? NO
[UK] Whitney Houston, we have a problem? NO
(espirit d'escalier: should have said "quick as a planck")
Half a mo?
[Raak] Half a mo? DEFINITELY NOT!
Is it a 3 - word answer?
sings: Magic moments....
A pause?
...
Something horrible and complicated to do with differential calculus?
[Chalky] 3 word answer? NO, less than
[ISP] Bacharach? NO
[Raak] Pause? NO
[ISP] Horrible and complicated? Probably horrible, but by no means complicated. No idea whether it involves calculus.
[Projoy] Shurely 'fewer than'
Fewer than three words rules out "No time Toulouse"
... and "That Condor Moment"
Does the word 'moment' appear on the card?
THIS moment?
[ISP] 'Moment' on card? NO
[Chalky] That moment? NO (not this one either)
big bang?
[ISP] Heavy fringe? NO
In retrospect, Raak's "Planck time" was entitled to some *hearty applause*.
The half-life of a radioactive atom?
[Rosie] Half-life? NO, not half anything.
Closing time?
[Raak] Closing time? NO *audience shivers slightly as the temperature drops*
Would putting 'moment' into a thesaurus help?
*tries that* No. Maybe in the future.
AArgghhh
That's not a guess. Its just my frustration as I feel I should be very close but I'm not.
Opening time?
[Raak] Opening time? *audience phones Mountain Rescue and prays for a St Bernard*
The Big Bang, i.e. the beginning of the Universe?
A tick?
[Rosie] The B of the Bang? NO
[Raak] Tick? NO *audience stirs as if they'd seen a crocus or a rosebud, or a robin on the wing*
(worries he's going to get roundly slated for this one, which he thought was reasonably heard-of, but now not so sure)
Raak has gotten the closest by far of anyone so far.
A tock?
Or Tock himself?
[Raak] Not a tock or Tock. Perhaps I shall be made to walk the Planck after all.
Two ticks?
A jiffy?
Are we anywhere warm?
Real time?
[Rosie] Two ticks? NO
[Lib] Jiffy? NO
[Lib] Warm? NOT REALLY :)
[Chalky] Real time? NO
Recap: It's a measurement of time, one that is definitely not a half-anything (except half of two of itself). It may or may not be fictional (thus the Planck time doesn't qualify, but is damned close), and may be described loosely as "a moment". If you don't get it from that, then I chose too obscurely. :)
*scratches head*
Full time?
[Raak] Full time? NO
Is it literally an instant, i.e. having no length?
[Rosie] A lengthless instant? NO *but audience breaks into wild cheering, stamping etc. Game on.*
So it has a defined lenght?
[Lib] Defined length? YES
scientific speak? eg. a parsec?
[Lib] Science Jargon? YES *applause*
Is the length of time very short (i.e. a small fraction of a second)?
[Rosie] Very short? YES! *applause*
nanosecond?
[Lib] Nanosecond? NO
is it 10 to the power -x of a second?
[Lib] 10^-n? NO
split second?
A 440 (one oscillation)?
Sueprluminar (i.e. faster than light)?
When you say it 'may or may not be fictional' is it something that has not yet been, or may never be, proven?
[Chalky] Split second? YEEES, I suppose so.
[Rosie] A440, NO
[ISP] Faster than light? NO
[ISP] Has not been/may never be proven? YES! *applause*
The end of the universe?
[Raak] Goodbye to all that? NO
Is it all relative?
The moment of religion, that divides the thought from the action?
[ISP] Relativity? Some might say quite the reverse!
[Raak] Religious moment? NO (don't forget this is quite specifically a measure of time with a particular length and is also scientific jargon)
A chronon?
(The maximum rate of thought being one psychon per chronon.)
[Raak] JUST IN TIME! It IS indeed a chronon, the proposed quantum of time, which is said (in one theory) to be 2x10−23 seconds - considerably longer than the Planck time and not strictly a second x 10-n. I apologise to those who are currently scratching their heads and going "a what?". I had heard of the chronon some years ago, and being an Arts Graduate, tend to assume that anything scientific that I've heard of has been heard of by everyone else at least ten years ago. However, the number of hits I belatedly googled on the topic suggest that perhaps it's not the household word I had at first supposed. I had every faith that Raak would get there eventually, tho! * hands the baton over to Raak so quickly that nobody sees it happen*
I've heard of Chronon the Barbarian... grone
(btw, another way of describing its length is 20 yoctoseconds)
I onyl know the chronon from the SF story "Gulf", by Robert Heinlein.

The next one is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ABSTRACT.

Fictional?
[Projoy] Not fictional.
[ISP] Not art. (The audience is amused as it imagines an exhibit with this title.)
Occurs naturally?
[ISP] Not natural.
To do with food?
Manufactured using machines?
[Projoy] Nothing to do with food.
[ISP] Almost invariably.
A household item?
[I] Yes, although most households probably don't have one.
A luxury item?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Not a luxury item.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
A piece of furniture?
[Rosie] Not furniture.
A musical instrument?
Having at last got my nice Yamaha digital piano.
[Rosie] I can think of one musical piece where it might be used, but no, not a musical instrument.
Bigger than a toaster?
(trad)
[INJ] Bigger than a toaster.
Newfangled?
A gong?
[Projoy] Not at all newfangled.
[Rosie] Not a gong. That has rather wider musical applications than this does.
A snooker table?
[ISP] As used in Herblfrontwick's Concerto for Snooker Table and Cue Ball? No.
Does the "abstract" refer to a metaphorical meaning of this mineral and vegetable thing?
[CdM] Yes, metaphorical. (Actually, similitudinous, to be precise.)
Victorian?
[Projoy] Not specifically Victorian.
Is the vegetable component wood?
A useful item?
[CdM] Yes, wood.
[ISP] Yes, useful. *the audience approve of these steps along the path to truth*
A fitting (as opposed to furniture)?
A container of some kind?
Does it have moving parts?
[ISP] Not a fitting.
[Rosie] *applause* Part of it is a container.
[INJ] No moving parts.
bigger than a washing machine?
Does it function as a seat?
[Projoy] Smaller than a washing machine.
[Lib] Not a seat.
A tea-chest bass?
[Rosie] Neither a tea-chest bass, a kazoo, a mighty Wurlitzer, nor a bagpipe. The musical angle is really not going to be helpful.
Still widely used today?
[CdM] Still in use.
Is the mineral part metal?
A piece of equipment of some sort?
[INJ] Yes, metal.
[ISP] Yes, it's equipment.
To do with safety?
[Projoy] Not to do with safety.
Away in a Mangle?
Bum. That has moving parts. Scratch it.
Found in the kitchen?
[ISP] Not found in the kitchen.
Is the room in the house going to help? Found in the drawing room?
[ISP] It might. But it is not to be found in the drawing room.
In the Bathroom?
[Lib] Nor in the bathroom.
Downstairs (in a house, not a bungalow of average room structure)?
[Lib] Could be. I think "household item" was misleading, this is merely something you might have in your house. Or in other places.
That's all until this evening -- offline all day.
Is it a barrel of some sort?
[Chalky] Not a barrel.
Might you have it in your car?
[CdM] You might, if you were transporting it somewhere.
Does it come in more than one size?
[Lib] It could be of various sizes.

To recap and give a nudge into a more fruitful path: it's a container of things made of wood and metal, which features in a well-known simile, and which could be found in various places, including the home.

Is it made to hold one specific thing?
[Tuj] It holds one specific type of thing.
A wise old saw?
[Projoy] Er, saws don't contain anything.
[Projoy] Fair point.
[Projoy] *a ripple of interest in the audience* Not a saw, especially not a wise one.
Does it have a lid?
Is it hardware?
A hutch?
A box of tricks?
.. or something like
[Projoy] Probably doesn't have a lid.
[Projoy] *applause* Yes, hardware.
[Projoy] Not a hutch.
[Chalky] *for a moment the audience thought you were going to get it* Not a box of tricks.
The sharpest tool in the box?
[Projoy] *the audience are excited* Not the sharpest tool in the box.
A toolbox?
[Projoy] *applause* In a sense, yes.
Does either of the words "tool" or "box" appear on the card?
[Cdm] Yes.
Boxing Helena? Boxcar Willie? Box girder bridge? Jack-in-the-box?
[ISP] None of the above.
A jewellery box, a matchbox, Pandora's box, my kingdom for a box
Isn't 'not the sharpest tool in the box' more metaphor than simile?
"it's a container of things made of wood and metal"
Is it a container of things, made of wood and metal; or is it a container of things made of wood and metal?
[ISP] None of those either, including "not the sharpest tool in the box".
[ISP] It's a container of things made of wood and metal. What the container is made of isn't important.
Does the word "tool" appear on the card?
[Projoy] "Tool" does not appear on the card.

There are four words, including the indefinite article.

A box of hammers (as in "as dumb as")?
[Projoy] You are sharp as a tack. A box of hammers is the exact phrase on the card.
OK, here's a chance to go for something better known and redeem myself. ANIMAL
Giraffe?
The Archbishop of Canterbury?
Hmm, new one on me.
[Raak] Interestingly enough - googling " a box of ..." "simile" didn't produce 'hammers, which is a phrase I, personally, have never heard before [not that that is relevant because I've obviously led a sheltered life] - yet ... googling " as dumb as a box of hammers .. produced 1,040,000 results! < Thinks >*must learn to play this game betterer*
Edible?
Alive?
"A box of hammers" is not a phrase I have ever heard used by anyone in my long and not-exactly-sheltered life. Maybe the Yanks use it. Well, I'm not a Yank. As if there aren't countless other subjects that could have been used, the words of which exist in everyone's brain, it just being a question of having the inspiration to dig them out. The whole point of the game is that you don't have to Google it, the original game being live with no access to any source of knowledge. Box of Hammers. Stupid.
[Lib] Giraffe? NO
[Tuj] Primate? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO! *considerable laughter*
[Rosie] Alive? YES

[Rosie] While I had heard the expression 'box of hammers' somewhere in the dim and distant past, enough for me to consider worth googling it for credibility before making my guess, you didn't actually have to have heard of it in order to get the answer. Besides, this game (as CdM once pointed out) is different from the original, and both google, self-education and working outside one's comfort zone are much more part of its fabric. If that makes it harder for those good at rote memorisation of canonical knowledge and easier for those good at on-the-fly research then perhaps that's an unhappy circumstance, but it is at least an index of changes in the world around us! I tend to think it's a good thing, myself, but then I have succesfully googled/guessed quite a lot lately. :) Definitely would concede, having tested it, that chronon was very hard to google up without a fair amount of specialist knowledge and probably therefore inappropriate, but a box of hammers is a concept available to anyone who's heard of hammers and boxes. That said, I would say that my current one shouldn't require google (unless someone asks the wrong question, causing me to give a truthful but obscure and therefore counterintutive and hard-to-synthesise fact about the subject under question).
(Not that there's such a thing as a 'wrong' question in this game, obviously)
A specific, unique thing?
[Tuj] Specific, unique? NO
Does it have legs?
[Chalky] Leggy? YES
2 legs?
4 legs?
6 or more legs?
Legginess quotient? Two possible sets of answers. Either (ignoring the answer to Tuj's question) YES, NO, NO; or - taking Tuj's answer into account - NO, NO, YES
A grouping of animals - e.g. a flange of baboons?
[ISP] A grouping? YES, but not of the type given in your e.g.
Human race?
A group of humans?
Oh dear, did I cause some trouble? I'm confused, at least.
[ISP] Human race? NO
[Tuj] Group of humans? YES *applause*
Primate: no, human: yes. Now I'm confused too.
OK, got it now. It was Projoy's use of the term 'primate'.
Note to self: Read questions AND answers as answers alone may cause confusion.
Are these humans grouped together because of a shared interest?
[UK] A shared interest? YES
Is this interest politcal?
Is it a spiritual/religious interest?
Furries?
[UK] Political? NOT REALLY
[Chalky] Spiritual/Religious? YES! *applause*
[ISP] Furries? NO (my suspicion is that a lot of people would require google for furries!)
I used to Google for furries and then I discovered Smirnoff
A specific sect?
[ISP] A sect? DEPENDS ON POV.
(I would say "no", tho)
Scientologists?
(Projoy) If you have to look up the answer it's no longer a game but a research project brought about largely, I suspect, by the instant accessibility of Google and the desire of certain people to show their specialised knowledge. A bit puerile. It ought to be like the original, a test of general knowledge and the ability to quickly connect and recall what's already in you head. This is not the same as rote knowledge, BTW. So the game no longer depends on the ability to think but on the ability to look things up and is therefore no longer a game, or any fun, but tedious. I'll cross it off my list.
Cross it off your list
[Rosie] Whilst I am with you 100% in being irritated by the plethora of recent 'f**k me that was obscure' targets, I think that after you make your point, and people take it on board, you could enjoy the game once more and continue to contribute as fruitfully as you have in the past. (Hopes Projoy's religion is something that more than ten people have heard of). Please don't go!
[ISP] Scientology? NO.
[Rosie, simul'd by ISP, but since you commented again] I must admit that I find looking stuff up fun (and success in this is totally about ability to think), but I do agree that some of the reward of this game is in either making the right lateral connections to perceive what in retrospect is obvious. Perhaps it would jolly the game up if we swing back for a while to obvious subjects, having had some obscurities on the trot, but equally I can't see any harm in being a bit more tolerant of stuff that falls outside 'Rosie's general knowledge' but within, say, 'Raak's general knowledge' (a category of knowledge in which I for one have found much fascination over the years).
either
Harry H Krishna?
[ISP] Hare, Hare, while stocks last? NO
Quakers?
Is this a Christian group?
[ISP] Quakers? NO
[UK] Xian? NO
Druids?
The Peoples Temple?
Scientologists?
Paganism?
*thinks ISPers may have a short-term memory problem* :-)
[ISP] Druidity? NO
[Chalky] People's Princess Temple? NO
[ISP] Scientology? NO
[Chalky] Paganism? NO
Begins with P?
Better get that in while I can...
Humanism?
Scient.. Arse!
Hindus harmonizin' in the hall?
[Tuj] Parseeism (and its alliterative religions)? NO
[Chalky] Oh, the humanity! NO
[ISP] Hindus? NO
Buddhism?
Is this abstract as well as animal?
Did it start within the last 500 years?
[Rosie] "Dumb as a box of hammers" is a commonplace expression to me; it's difficult to know what will be commonplace to everyone.
Should we be concentrating on -isms?
simul ... What CdM asked.
Sun worshippers [with legs]?
[Chalky] Buddhism? NO
[CdM] Abstract? NO
[Raak] Last 500 years? NO
[Chalky] focusism? It might help you get there, but The Answer is not an ism.
[Chalky] Solarists? NO
Islam?
dumb as a box of... I always thought it was "dumb as a bag of spanners", but the collective wisdom of Google thinks otherwise.
[Ig] Islam? *standing ovation* That is not the answer on the card.
Could it be something as simple as 'Muslims'?
[Chalky] IT COULD **audience applause**
Never heard of 'em.
LOL
Easy-peasy :-)
Now this next one should be well within everybody's intellectual and cognisant reach. However, it may require a smidgin of websearchery as we draw closer to the solution - which is the way I enjoy playing this game.
M I N E R A L / A B S T R A C T
A figurative expression?
Is the mineral metal?
[Raak] Figurative? NO
[Irouléguy] Metal? Largely, NO [there may be traces]
Rock?
Is the mineral stone?
Oops. Misread Raak's simul. WHS.
[Raak, Projoy] Rocky/Stony stuff? YES, plenty of that
A single unique thing?
A work of art?
A human construct?
[Tuj] The one-and-only? YES
[Raak] Artwork? NO
[PJ] Human construct? NO
Naturally occurring?
Fictional?
A geographical feature?
[Projoy] Naturally occurring? YES
[Uncle Korkers] Fictional? NO
[Irouléguy] A geographical feature? Good question. I'm tempted to answer 'Yes' but in fact this is NOT a geographical feature
Does it have anything to do with molten rock?
Does it move?
[Uncle Korkster] Anything to do with molten rock? Yes, molten rock might be in amongst all this.
[PJ] Does it move? YES *audience starts to murmur*
Is this a description of a process?
The Marianas Trench?
A sand dune?
[Uncle Korkee] description of a process? NO
[Raak] The Marianas Trench? NO
[Projoy] A sand dune? NO
*audience goes quiet*
Is it biiiiiiiiiig?
[Projoy] Biiiiiiiiiiig? It's Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge! *audience cheers*
aside
I'm 'at home' today which is why I'm able to pay attention to my chairing duty. Haven't seen it in ages, but is anyone else watching 'Countdown'? There's a gargantuan bloke in place of the fragrant Suzie Dent. Wha ...?]
reply to aside
That's scandalous! I've spent years watching that show, just for Suzie Dent - she's seriously hot! OK, I do enjoy playing along as well...]
Is it on Earth?
At last! The key question.
[Uncly Kork] On Earth? NO *thunderous applause from audience*
The planet Gliese 581 c?
Is it actually a planet?
*smug*
[Raak] The Planet Gliese 581 c [rather than the star]? NO
[UK] A planet? Well, actually, NO
Is it in the Solar System?
A comet?
[Raak] In solar system? YES
[Projoy] A comet? NO
A satellite?
A dwarf planet?
[Raak] A satellite? YES
[Projoy] A dwarf planet? NO
A moon?
The moons of Jupiter?
[Projoy] A moon? YES *audience senses the end game is here and start to pay attention*
[Projoy] For pity's sake child - tie down the moons of Jupiter? er - NO
A moon of Saturn?
*The* Moon?
Enceladus?
[PJ] A moon of Saturn-and-there-are-plenty-to-choose from? Er - NO
[Raak] OUR moon? NO
[Uncly Korkass] Enceladus? I refer the honourary member to my previous reply which went PJ-wise :-)
Charon?
One of Mars'?
One of Neptune?
*no longer smug*
[Projoy] Charon? NO
[Tuj] Marses moonses? No, neither
[Uncle Korks] Neptune moon? YES!
Proteus?
Triton
There are only eleven others, so we're nearly there...
[Chalky] If you like, you can assume I will ask all the other questions. :)
Does it have a name?
Nereid?
What's in a name?
[Raak] They all seem to have names. Are you confusing Neptune with Jupiter/Saturn?
[Projoy] Proteus? NO
[Uncle Korks] Nereid? NO
[Raak] A name? YES because ..

*fanfare* The victory goes to I Say, Lurker who popped into this game just at the right time.
TRITON it is, Neptune's largest moon, the seventh largest in the solar system, and one that even I've heard of. Thanks Raak, Uncle Korky and Projoy for your sterling efforts :-)
Hey, Good Lurkin'
[Chalky] That'll teach me to take a day off work.
Another easy one? ANIMAL
Hang on a mo... looks up 'Abstract' in dictionary. Decides 'bollocks to it' and leaves it as is.
A single individual?
Human?
[ISP] Maybe it's that the Greek minor god of the Sea, Triton, is abstract?
[PJ] I wasn't thinking about Chalky's Abstract actual existing real satellite, but now you mention it...
[Raak] Single individual - YES
[Projoy] Human - YES. Told you it was easy.
Alive?
[UK] Living? Not as such.
Alive in the 20th Century?
[UK] Sorry, I meant 'Not alive as such'.
... enters into deep philosophical contemplation about whether he should have used 'Abstract'
Fictional?
[UK] Fictional - YES *applause*
Aha! British author?
Definitely abstract then, as I found out to my cost a few games back! :-)
Abstract schmabstract.
[UK] British Author? NO
I'm gonna let someone else have a go.
Jumping in!
Begins with a P? :D
\
Is the fiction set in the real world?
Does the character appear in more than one publication by the author?
Does this person originally appear in a book?
Is the character female?
[Tuj] What an unexpected question! P? - NO
[Raak] Real World? - I'll say a tentative NO to that one
[INJ] More than one publication? - YES
[UK] Book? "a set of pages that have been fastened together inside a cover to be read or written in" - YES
[Irg] Female? NO
Did this person first appear in print in the 20th century?
[UK] C20? YES
Is there more than one author overall?
[UK] +1 Author? - YES
Doctor Who?
[Raak] Time Lord? - NO
[Raak] Can't be - not a British author (see above). I'm going to have a wild stab in the dark at the answer (got a gut feeling...)
Is it Asterix?
[UK] Three points for a Gaul? NO
Bo**ox.
However... this doesn't mean my line of questioning is dead... Are the authors Goscinny & Uderzo?
[UK] Goscinny & Uderzo? Nope. That rules out Lucky Luke an' all.
Definite bo**ox.
Originally written in English?
[INJ] Written in English? YES
Have the works this character appears in been filmed?
[UK] Filmed? YES
A cartoon/comic/graphic novel character?
[Raak] cartoon/comic/graphic novel character - YES * thunderous applause *
... is off to dress rehearsal. Back tomorrow!
[Uncle Korky] re: Doctor Who and British Author. Don't forget that both Sydney Newman and Anthony Coburn were Australian! :)
[Projoy] Except for Sydney Newman, who was Canadian. But Korky's point was exactly that the roots of Dr Who are non-British. But, of course, the sixty thousand dollar question is "who cares?"
A Marvel character?
[Inks] Marvel? YES * audience applause *
Superman?
[Raak] Not Superman
Superman's DC comics, I think...
Spiderman?
although Peter Parker definitely begins with a P...
Captain America?
[CdM] Not Spidey, and not Peter Parker Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers
[Irg] Not Captain America.
One of the X-Men?
[Chalky] Not one of the X-Men, but we're certainly getting warmer by a process of elimination.
Conan the Barbarian?
[Chalky] Not Conan. I wasn't even aware he was a Marvel character.
British Author
[Projoy] I was talking nonsense earlier - rereading, Korky's point seems to indicate that Who had British roots, which is of course a load of dalek-poo.
The Hulk?
[Chalky] Rapturous applause from the crowd but it's not the name on the card!
The Incredible Hulk?
or Dr. Robert Bruce Banner?
AWOOOOOGAH! We have a winner. Dr. Robert Bruce Banner is the name on the card. One first edition grey baton still in the original wrapping passed on.
celebrating another lurker's victory
Cheers ISPers - and 'break a leg' this weekend. Naturally we shall want YouTube evidence.

V E G E T A B L E
Thanks Chalky! Dress rehearsal went well yesterday, which bodes badly for tonight.
Barry Took? oblig.
Wood?
edible?
[IS,P!] Barry Took? Nah :-)
[Projoy] Wood? No-o-o, not exactly, but you're on the right track
[ImNotJohn] edible? No

I won't be online much over the weekend, so apologies in advance
Something to do with corK?
[irach] CorK? No [nice to see you in here :)]
Paper?
smaller than a toaster?
[CdM] Paper? YES!
[Phil] Smaller than a toaster? Mmm - it can be
Paper with something written on it?
A specific piece of paper?
A single piece of paper?
[PJ] Paper with something written on it? Yes [and I know I should have added a tiny bit of M I N E R A L to the definition but I thought it might mislead, and also guessed that 'paper' would be arrived at fairly quickly]
[Tuj] A specific piece of paper? Don't know what you mean by 'specific' so I can't answer that.
[Raak] A single piece of paper? Yes, definitely
Laser display board used at the pilg?
The piece of paper Chamberlain 'had in his hand'?
*resuming normal service*
[Lib] Laser Display Board? :) No
[I Say, Porter!] Chamberlain's bit of paper? No
Is the writing "now wash your hands"?
A voting card?
A map?
Does the piece of paper have monetary implications?
[IS,P!] "Now wash your hands"? No
[Phil] A voting card? No
[Inkspot] A map? No
[Uncle Korks] Monetary implications? No
Is it in a museum?
Is it a piece of paper of historical significance?
A particular piece of paper?
A particular piece of paper being something specific like the Magna Carta, I would interpret a single peice of paper as something more general like a calender. just so I don't go too far off track
[Raak] In a museum? No. [for clarification: when I replied 'yes' to a 'single piece of paper' I meant that only one sheet of paper was involved, as opposed to a pamphlet, magazine or book]
[Kim] Historical significance? Yes
ah ...simul
[Inkspot] A particular piece of paper? Well, it's 'particular' in that it's a suitable subject for AVMA - but if you're asking if it's the one-and-only of its kind - then NO
20th Century?
Does the piece of paper have musical implications?
[IS,P!] 20th Century? Would you kindly frame your question in a more precise manner m'dear?
[Uncle Korky] Musicalimplications? No
Is it a famous printed text?
At last ! A question
[Projoy] Famous Printed Text? No
Is there something "artistic" on the paper?
Hello [Phil] "artistic"? Well, YES, there is a pictorial representation of something.
A cartoon?
[Projoy] A cartoon? No
Was it first printed before 1900?
Like a tube map?
Is the content of this piece of paper printed?
[IS,P] 'fraid we already know it's not a map.
A poster?
[UK] Arse! Not paying attention. Anyway, that'd also be a "famous printed text" which we know it 'aint.
[Inkspot] First printed before 1900? Yes
[ISPers] Wot UK said
[Uncly Korko] Is the content printed? For the most part, yes
[ISP!] A poster? No

It may be worth checking back on my reply to Inkspot's "Is it a particular piece of paper?" question
A certificate of some kind?
Is it a document of title?
Is it a Constitution or a Declaration of Independence?
Or a treaty of some kind...
OOOPS! Not famous. Bum. Probably no to both the above... OK I'm stuck.
[Uncle Korky] A certificate of some kind? YES!
[IS,P!] Constitution/Declaration/Treaty? No
Is this a specifically British document?
Some kind of award?
[Uncle Korky] Specifically British document? The one I'm thinking of IS - YES [although there are many other 'types']
[IS,P!] Award? No
A passport?
A legal document of some kind?
Scratch the 'passport' as it's no longer a single piece of paper.
Driving licence?
Is it money?
[IS,P!] Legal document of some kind? Yes
[UK] Driving licence? No
[Lib] Money? No
Birth/Marriage/Death certificate?
[IS,P!]Birth/Marriage/Death certificate? Yes
A Birth Certificate
Relating to a specific person?
A Death Certificate
Relating to a specific person?
A Marriage Certificate
Relating to two specific people (oblig.)
[IS,P!] A Birth Certificate? YES! Now how easy-peasy was that?

[As for relating to a specific person, I did try to steer you all towards the fact that there are literally millions of these].
AR*E!
Korky's Arse
[UK] As I did the one before Chalky's, why don't you do the next?
Does it look big in these?
[IS,P] Very kind of you, my dear sir, but I wouldn't want to steal your thunder. Nor would I want to play a game where I couldn't be a good loser. :-) Please go ahead, and I'll redouble my efforts this time!
Someone Post One Please
I'm off to Rome tomorrow morning for six full days, I therefore cede the initiative to whichever of you buggers gets in first.
Why didn't you say?!
Oh well, in that case... MINERAL & VEGETABLE
Is it art?
[IS,P] Oh, hello again! :-) NO, it's not art.
It's still not tomorrow morning yet.
Is the mineral rock?
Rocky! YES - well, one of them...
Is thevegetable wood?
Smaller than a toaster?
Normally found in the house?
Also contains metal?
Frying pan with a wooden handle?
Is this an object that we might all aspire to own?
A mass manufactured item?
Right... catch-up time!
[Raak] Woody? YES
[Tuj] Toaster or less? NO
[INJ] Domestic as a rule? NO
[Projoy] The clangy stuff? YES
[irach] Full-English equipment? NO
[Chalks] I Want One Of Those? QUITE POSSIBLY - MATTER OF PERSONAL TASTE
[Inkspot] Rolls off the conveyorbelt? I WOULD HAVE TO SAY... NO
Does it contain any moving parts?
[INJ] Mobile bits? YES applause
Does it have a definite 'use'?
[Chalky] Definite 'use'? YES
A tool of some sort?
[INJ] Tool? NO
Is the rocky part artificial, i.e. concrete, brick, etc.?
Smaller than a house?
[Raak] Two parts sand, etc? NO
[Tuj] Smaller than the average domicile? YES
Is it mobile?
Not necessarily under its own steam.
Bigger than a phonebox?
[INJ] Mobilty? NO
[Projoy] Size matters? YES - but not in all directions.
Bigger than a phonebox in more than one dimension? (not counting time!)
[Projoy] Dimension comparison: BIGGER IN TWO OUT OF THREE.
Is it a container?
Is it made of more than just wood, metal and stone?
Does it require power [ie.electricity] in order to function?
[Inkspot] What's in da box? NO
[Projoy] Ingredients? YES (Some may well have an additional ANIMAL component, but don't let this confuse you)
[Chalky] Plug it in? NO
Could you buy it as a single unit?
[Projoy] One at a time? YES
Does it have wheels?
[Lib] Let's go cruise the strip? USUALLY NOT (I'd consider them optional extras)
Is the purpose of the rock part to provide weight?
Is it's purpose to provide amusement?
Ouch! - sorry about the apostrophe.
Begins with P?
[Raak] Heaaavy, man? NO
[INJ] Playtime? YES *copious applause*
[Tuj] Snow, mushy or processed? NO
Would you find it at a funfair?
[Raak] This way to the egress? NO
Used in a competitive sport?
[INJ] They think it's all over? YES *standing ovation*
A curling stone?
[Raak] Giant's bathplug? NO
A goalpost?
Hmmm?
Well, I thought we were just about there, but I can't get it.
Used in competitive sport, larger than phone box in 2 of 3 dimensions, contains wood, metal, rock (plus other), has moving parts but not wheels, except as optional extra, does not require a power source, not mobile, not mass-manufactured(ish). I think when someone does get it, it will be obviously correct. A fair summary?
snooker table?
anthropomorphism
With balls, of course.
Pool table?
To cover that base as well (though I would say they are mass-manufactured)
I would also say that Pool Table could probably be judged to begin with P. Snooker table seems like a very good guess, though.
Billiard table?
[INJ] It is, indeed, a snooker table. Congrats, and please accept this cue-shaped baton! Comiserations to everyone else.
It's always a good idea to try to state the problem - it just came to me when I had written it all down.
The next one is ANIMAL
Alive, alive-o?
(What's the stone in a snooker table?)
OK, let's try writing down what we know so far. This one is animal.


Hmmmmm... Nope, still not coming to me.
[Projoy] Slate
Human?
[Projoy] kicking? - NO
[CdM] Human - YES
Male?
[Chalky] He-Man? - YES
Historical?
Did he die in the 20th century?
[Lib] been & gone? - YES
[Raak] died in C20 - NO
Royalty?
[Lib] crowned head? - YES (some murmurs in the audience)
British?
By this I mean bearer of the Brtish crown, as opposed to having had to have be born on this island.
[UK] UK? - NO
European?
[Lib] European - YES
Charlemagne?
[CdM] Big Charlie? - NO
French?
Napoleon?
[Lib] French - NO
[Raak] Boney - nor Corsican
Died before 1500?
[Projoy] Died before 3pm? - NO
Died this century?
Died after 1800?
[Raak] C21? - NO
[Projoy] C19? - NO
To save time, the personage in question died in the 18th century.
A pope?
[Projoy] pontificating? - NO
Does 'crowned head' in this case mean 'sovereign'?
Well asked
[Projoy] lying uneasy? - NO (Loud and prolonged applause - plus a few murmurs from one or two of the audience)
I realised afterwards that my way of rephrasing Lib's question might have been confusing, so for clarity: royalty, yes; sovereign, no.
The spouse of a sovereign?
spouse? - NO
Assassinated?
French royalty?
[Raak] Assassinated? - NO
[Projoy] French Royalty - NO
Spanish Royalty?
[Projoy] Spanish? - NO
Russian Royalty?
[Projoy] Russian Royalty? - NO
Check your assumptions.
Died in Europe?
[Projoy] Died in Europe? - YES
The Charlie formerly known as Bonnie Prince?
And the next one please
Thought it wouldn't last long. It is Charles Edward Louis John Casimir Silvester Maria Stuart, aka The Young Pretender, aka Charles III of Britain, aka Bonnie Prince Charlie. Uncle Korky's 'British?' question was clarified in such a way as to allow maximum confusion.
The true baton is passed over the water to CdM.
OK, this is VEGETABLE and MINERAL possibly also with ABSTRACT connections.
Actually, remove the "possibly" there.
Possibly, remove the "actually" there.
Is it art?
Is the mineral metal?
Art? No.
Metal? No.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Or smaller than a semi-d?
Is it edible?
Does it begin with 'P'?
[Tuj] Sorry
Is it normally found in a domestic situation?
Does it begin with R?
[UK] No worries, every little helps!
Is is useful?
Has anyone other than me actually heard Smith & Jones' head to head where they do 20 questions?
Is it musical?
[IS,P] Not me, I'm afraid - you'll have to let me have a copy! :-)
Bigger than toaster? Yes. Smaller than semi-d? No.
Begin with P? No.
Domestic? No.
Begin with R? No.
Useful? No.
Musical? No.
Is the vegetable wood?
Is there just one of this?
*cough* *points to his previous question*
British?
[Raak] Bigger than a semi detached house yet still edible. Never mind what's on the card, what are you thinking of?
[ISP] A field of corn? A tanker of cooking oil? The wine lake?
Wood? In part.
Unique? Yes.
Edible? No. (sorry)
British? Yes.
The Cutty Sark?
Cutty Sark? No.
Is it a geographical area?
Is it a building of some sort?
[Raak] Fairy nuff.
Is the non-abstract part manufactured?
To clarify, I mean deliberately constructed, not just man-made in the sense that say, a farmed landscape, is.
Geographical Area? Yes! *applause*
Building of some sort? No (although there are buildings in this geographical area).
Manufactured? No.
In England?
Is it an island?
In England? No.
An island? No.
In Scotland?
Eliminating
Scotland? Aye!
Are we looking for a specific conurbation of some size?
The Bonny bonny banks o' Loch Lomond?
Is it on the Scottish mainland?
Conurbation? No.
Last one across the border's a sissy? No.
Mainland? Yes.
Is it within a conurbation?
Conurbtained? No.
Is it a mountain?
Mountain? No.
The Trossachs?
Is it a Scottish county?
Trossachs? No.
County? No.
An area known for its natural features?
Known for natural features? No (except indirectly).
The Electric Brae?
Gleneagles?
sorry, just unsure as to the definition of 'geographical area'
Electric Brae? No.
Gleneagles? No.
Glenfiddich?
Glengarry Glen Ross? Glen Madeiros? Glen Nhoddle? Does the word 'Glen' or the word 'Loch' appear on the card?
Is it known for something produced there?
Is it a tourist attraction?
Bannockburn?
linked to a historical event?
Urban?
Lochnesslessness
Glen or Loch? No.
Production site? No.
Tourist attraction? Yes.
Bannockburn? No.
Historical? Yes. *applause*
Urban? No.
Glencoe?
Glencoe? No. *Some members of the audience, sensing that this one is almost over, start leaving their seats in order to avoid the rush to the exits*
Culloden?
Culloden Field, site of the downfall of Charles Edward Louis John Casimir Silv- well, what INJ said up there, is indeed the correct answer. *hands bloody baton to Raak*
Incidentally, you will be glad to know that Wikipedia judges the battle of Culloden to have been a "decisive British victory"
[CdM] It now says "decisive Hanoverian victory". (It wasn't me, honest.)

The next is A B S T R A C T.

Is it fictional?
anarcho-syndicalism?
One day, just you watch.
Is it art?
[INJ] Taking it in turns to act as executive officer for the week?
Three words on the card?
A human construct
(trad)
[UK] Not fictional.
[INJ] The anarcho-syndicalists will have their day...but not today.
[ISP] Not art.
[Lib] One word on the card.
[Projoy] Yes, a human construct.
Created in the 20th century?
Begins with TUJ?
A state of mind?
[UK] Created in the 20th century.
[CdM] Few things begin with TUJ, and this is not one of them.
[Chalky] Not a state of mind.
Related to the workplace?
A belief system?
[INJ] Yes, but not exclusively.
[ISP] Not a belief system.
A language of some kind?
A quality control system?
[Chalky] Not a language.
[ISP] Not quality control.
The workplace answer I would amend to "not specifically".
Can I touch it?
Is it a law?
A language?
bugger that should have been previewed. A system other than a belief system?
[Lib] Cannot be touched. There is physical stuff to this thing, but one would not talk of touching the ting itself.
[UK] Not a law.
[ISP] Not a language.
[ISP] "System" is a rather vague word, covering just about anything. Yes, it's a system, and not a belief system.
A hierarchy?
Something to do with I. T.?
To do with finance?
To do run ron ron, to do run ron?
[Chalky] Not a hierarchy.
[ISP] Yes! To do with I.T.
[Chalky] Um...yes.
[ISP] Can I get some of what you're smoking?
SAP or Oracle or the like?
[re: smoke] You need to live near the Dutch border to get the good stuff. It doesn't all reach Brussels.
[ISP] *applause* The like.
A specific, named IT product?
[INJ] Not a product.
a virus?
A generic IT feature?
i.e. one produced by many suppliers in many guises under many names e.g. database, spreadsheet.
A website?
An IT company?
[Lib] Not a virus.
[INJ] Not a generic feature.
[Lib] In a sense, yes; in a sense, no.
[Phil] *more applause* An IT company.
[Phil] Not Apple.
That's [ISP] Not Apple.
IBM ?
although, IMHO, IBM qualifies as a virus :-)
Linux?
Google?
Dell?
Not IBM, Linux, or Dell, but Google. Over to ISP.
Bugger.
Let's go for ABSTRACT and ANIMAL
I wonder if this game would work as 'reverse'... Probably not.
Fictional?
Symbolic?
Human?
[Pj] Fiction? YES
[Raak] Symbol? NO
[CdM] Human? NO
Talking?
[Raak] Talking? Yes
A cartoon character?
From a book?
Is the animal, on which the fictional version is based, normally smaller than a domestic cat?
Begins with P?
*mutter*
[Raak] Cartoon? YES
[Projoy] Book? NO
[Phil] Smaller than a cat? Depends how big the cat is.
[Tuj] Begins with a P? YES applause, and why not.
Pepe le Pew?
Phil the Cat?
[Phil] Pheeeeew? No
[Projoy] Phil the Cat? NO Never heard of him.
From a Disney animation?
[Phil the bigger-than-a-cat-landlord] Disney? NO
animated cartoon? (i.e. film cartoon rather than strip cartoon)
[Phil] Animated? Yes
Porky Pig?
[UK] Piggie? No
Pink Panther?
Pokémon?
[Lib] Pink Pussycat? NO
[Phil] Pogue Mahone? NO
Re: Cartoon - YES
A pub discussion over the weekend, and the most recent posts in here, have put doubt into my mind about the above answer. I think on reflection I'll change it to Cartoon - NO. Apologies.
Computer animation?
[UK] PC? Nope.
Is the character listed at imdb.com?
[Phil] A search on IMBD under 'character' with the words on the card will produce the expected results, so YES.
Claymation?
[UK] Not Claymation.
Stop-motion stuff (eg Ray Harryhausen)?
[UK] Stop Motion? YES * applause * Ray Harryhausen? NO
Originating on TV?
Parsley the Lion?
Paper cutouts (such as South Park)?
Pugwash (Captain)?
PC McGarry No 452?
Professor Yaffle?
[Projoy] Originating on TV? YES indeed only available on TV afaik. Parsley? NO
[CdM] Paper Cut? NO
[UK] Pugwash, NO, PC McGarry NO, but PROFESSOR YAFFLE is the name on the card, and this piece of broken wood which could be 'fixed' into a winner's baton by the mice from the mouse organ is therefore passed on. I, Say Porter! goes to sleep.
[IS,P] Ta! I believe the precedent is that all your friends now go to sleep too. *snores*
[UK] NO! Set a new one!
[IS,P] Well, as it so happens, Emily has brought something new into the shop, so let's see if the viewers at home can work out what it is. This is ABSTRACT through and through.
Is it art?
[IS,P] Arty? NO
Bigger than a toaster?
[IS,P] Toaster comparison. CANNOT ANSWER
Intriguing. Is it a human concept?
[IS,P] Human concept? YES *applause*
Is it related to the previous object?
[Raak] Woodpecker et al? NO
Connected with emotions?
(As in, "my love is bigger by far than any toaster!")
Religiously inclined?
[Projoy] Emotional response? YES
[IS,P] God-bothering? NO
An emotion itself, or a reaction to an emotion?
[IS,P] NO to both
A subjective experience?
[Projoy] I knew I shouldn't have gone for an abstract, because I'd end up getting confused when the discussion gets philosophical :-) ! As far as I can work out, the best answer I can give is YES.
Yes, but what do we *mean* by subjective?
:)
To do with conscious thought?
*beginning to feel out of his depth! *
[Projoy] Conscious thought? YES
Is it something one can do?
[Projoy] An action? Sticking strictly to what's written on the card, NO
blubble blubble blubble...
leaves Pj & UK to it
Can it be quantified in numbers?
[Projoy] Count 'em up? Technically, YES, but I feel this will not help in any way.
The ways in which Elizabeth Barrett Browning loved Robert Browning?
[Projoy] OK. You've lost me completely.
Anything to do with Science?
(Sorry, was being silly)
A sensation?
[uk] Could PJ mean "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways" - or was that Roger Rabbit...
[Projoy] Scientific? NO
[Phil] Sensational? NO
[Pj & IS,P] Thanks for illumination!
Hope you're not waiting for me. As soon as I see 'human concept - YES' I sit back and watch.
*ahem*
...

Begins with a P?
To do with language?
[Tuj] Standard opening? NO
[Chalky] Language-related? YES (to an extent)
Is it real (as opposed to explicitly fictional)?
[Projoy] Real? YES
Is it a process?
[Projoy] Process? NO
Is this universal, or culturally specific?
[Irg] Naughty! How can I answer y/n to that?! I don't wish to be a pedant, however, so I'll offer:
Universal? NO
Culturally specific? YES (probably)
Probably specific to British culture?
[Raak] UK? YES
To do with the media?
Afternoon tea?
[Raak] Media-related? NO
[irach] One lump or two? NO
A saying?
Specific to any region of the UK?
To do with sport?
[Projoy] A saying? YES (in a way)
[Raak] Specific part of UK? NO
[Irg] Sporty? NO
a cliché?
[Projoy] Cliché? YES - but don't let this mislead you.
Is there more than one word on the card (not counting articles)?
[Projoy] Multiple words? YES
Free clue: you're looking for a generalisation rather than a specific phrase.
Child-related?
[INJ] Kids' stuff? YES (but not exclusively)
Fings ain't what they used to be?
A way of speaking?
Young People Today?
Before I answer specifics, I feel that the 'free clue' appears to have done more harm than good. Remember - the words on the card are not a specific phrase. I'll try to make it even easier: it's an "example", or a general description of one item from a category.
[Irg] NO (specific phrase)
[INJ] NO (see explanation above)
[Projoy] NO (specific phrase)
Is it associated with a certain class of people?
[Raak] Classy? NO
Is it about young people in some way?
[Projoy] Yoof? NOT "ABOUT", NO...
Youth itself?
txtspk?
kthxbye ?
[Projoy] NO - it's a saying, remember
[CdM] Texting? NO
[Phil] I have no idea what that means!
A "saying" which is not "a specific phrase". See? That's why I took a back seat earlier.
[IS,P] Funnily enough, I'm regretting picking this one now - I expect to get pilloried at the end of this.
A cliché?
Do the words on the card describe some words?
[INJ] See answer to Projoy further up
[Projoy] YES *applause*
RP?
[Raak] A manner of speech? NO - the answer to Projoy's most recent question should be taken as very significant.
complaints about the weather?
(you said it was a UK-specific thing)
Do the words on the card express or imply criticism?
(Sorry, didn't look far enough back)
Is it a good thing?
[Projoy] Bit nippy? NO
[INJ] Criticism? NO (and no worries!)
[Irg] Good thing? WELL, THAT DEPENDS - subjective experience also, remember!
Do the words on the card describe a type of response?
e.g esprit de l'escalier
Hard to see how to carry on making progress with this
[INJ] Are you preparing the pillory or am I?
Are the words referred to generally spoken as part of a conversation?
Are the words referred to some sort of metaphor or simile?
[INJ] Type of response? NO
[Projoy] Part of conversation? COULD BE
[Irg] Metaphor / similie? NO, but *applause* for a question relating to 'categories'...
[IS,P] I'm putting my trainers on, and preparing to sprint. If you all want a new topic, I'll tell you what's on the card and run away very quickly.
Is it self-referential?
Give it a bit longer - somewhere, there's a killer question lurking. Anyway we haven't got the pillory set up yet.
Onomatopoeia?
[INJ] Could you clarify, please?
[IS,P] BZZZT? NO
Is it a way of speaking?
[Lurker (kimming)] Manner of speech? NO
Chav related?
[Lib] Burberry bling? NO
To do with right and wrong language use?
[Raak] Syntax, grammar, etc.? NO
Next free clue: you're all being far too serious.
Furzigig wibble epoptolith?
Is it a joke or witticism of some sort?
[Raak] I was going to say that.
British understatement?
A knock-knock joke?
Anything to do with comedy?
'Management bollocks'?
Technobabble/nerd-speak?
Thank God! INJ & Raak were close, but Thos, lurking with panache, has seized on the exact words on the card in one post. Dear all - the answer is "A knock-knock joke". Relay baton passed to Thos, whilst I sprint for the hills.
Who's there? Me? Oops.
Oh dear. That was rather a lurker victory. Hadn't really imagined that I would chance upon the solution! Perhaps someone else might consider taking on the challenge of setting the next, since I am currently locked in the cupboard under the sink on Mother-of-Mine's instructions and unable to post for a few days.
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Control Freak. Now you have to say 'Control Freak Who?'"
little old man who?
Control Freak Who?
A new one...
Right-ho, I'm back in Blighty, so here goes with a new one (and apologies if you've had this before - I only glance in on this game occasionally): This is mineral but you used to be able to get it/this/them in vegetable too...
Is it art?
Tennis racket?
Made of plastic?
Was it formerly made of wood?
Violin strings?
[ISP] Art - no, [Phil] Racket - no, [Inkspot] Plastic - yes, [Raak] Formerly wood - no, [Kim] Strings - no.
I must add that I would love to see a wooden one, as I can't imagine how it might work!
A container?
Was the vegetable rubber?
[ISP] Container - well, I suppose it could be used as one but that is not its purpose, so no. [Raak] Rubber - yes.
associated with a recreational activity?
Takes batteries?
Lib started it...
[Lib] Recreational - only in the loosest sense in that you would indeed use it to bring you some form of pleasure and I can't see a business usage, but I think I would have to say no overall. [ISP] Batteries - no - and completely no to where you seem to be headed :)
Is it a protective covering?
Used in a sport or game?
Would you normally store and use it in the kitchen?
A mackintosh?
Wellies?
Plastic that was formerly also rubber: An eraser
[Raak] Protective covering - no [ISP] sporty/gamey - no [Inkspot] Kitchen based - no (although in fairness, you could use or store it there if you wanted - but it would be most unusual) [Raak] Mackintosh - no [Projoy] Wellingtons - no [ISP] Eraser - no.
Further Clarification
Just to elaborate a bit on the response as to whether it was a recreational activity, I might have unwittingly misled you with my reply. The object is used as a recreational activity, in that you would utilise it in your spare time and for fun, but it would be unlikely to have a a long term usage, like a hobby, or a passtime, hence my answering with a no. Hope this helps...
Is it round?
[Raak] Round - yes, it is!
Is it hollow?
[Inkspot] Hollow - hmm, sometimes yes, sometimes no. I think, however, that in the traditional understanding of hollow, you would not say that it was, so once again I'd plump for overall no.
Is it commonly sold in packets of three?
Is it a disc?
[Raak] Wouldn't that be a protective covering?
[Phil] Yes, but the trend of all the other answers was too strong to ignore.
frisbee?
Lib has a lot to answer for.
Has it moving parts?
A rubber duck?
OK, not terribly round and somewhat hollow, but I'll just throw it in and see if it causes any ripples.
Hula Hoop?
Anything to do with wheels?
Woof! What a lot of lovely guesses! [Raak] Packets of three - no (but arf!) [Inkspot] Discy, as Stanley Unwin might have it, - no [ISP] Frisbee - no [Projoy] Moving parts or rubber duckiness - no* and no [ISP] Hula Hoop - no [Raak] Wheeled - no.

*BUT clarification (as always): Whilst I say there are no moving parts, one element of the object will move if the item is utilised...

Is it used in conjunction with some other thing or things?
Is it a sphere more than 50mm diameter?
Is it associated with a particular country or culture?
Used at home? Indoors?
Would it be somthing to be used "at the weekend"?
Persisting with Raak's line of enquiry :-)
Was this 'round' thing around before 1950?
[CdM] Used with other things - not specifically: It can be utilised alone without any problem though you might get more out of it if you involve other items [Inkspot] Sphere - it is not a sphere, [Irouleguy] Associated with a country/culture - no [ISP] Used indoors - usually yes, but it could be used outside, and I am sure has been, [Phil] Weekend use - this little beauty can be used at any time and is, [Chalky] Did it exist prior to 1950? - not according to my sources...
Is it likely that I own one?
Round, but neither a disk nor a sphere. Hmmmm.
Prismatic?
A whoopee cushion?
Does one inflate it?
Used in conjunction with water?
Is it toroidal? A rubber ring?
(fnar)
Tubular?
Cut to the Chase....
With a Greek Chorus chanting "More Tea, Vicar?" in the background, I am happy to declare that ImNotJohn is entirely on the button with a whoopee cushion. *Applause*. Actually, I thought Chalky was playing games with me (so to speak) when she actually picked the year that they were actually invented! *bows towards INJ and scarpers....*
Whoopee!!
A fine bit of lurking, though I say so myself.
We're off again with ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
BTW would it be taken as an insult to say that having met Thos made it easier to guess?
Getting it out of the way
Does it have to do with anarcho-syndicalism?
The key question
[Néa] - anarcho-syndicalism? - NO (but one of these days...)
Be it verily the construct of humanity?
[Projoy] human construct - Yea verily
[INJ] I wouldn't take it as an insult, at all. Now would you like to look through this telescope (ignore the wetness of the eyepiece)...?
Re: Human Construct - yes. OH BOLLOCKS.
[IS,P] Yes. You will note I'm still in hiding after the last one.
Is it a fictional human?
An emotional response?
[Kim] fictional human? - NO
[IS,P] Emotional response? - NO
Does it begin with a P?
Is it fictional? (trad)
An organisation?
To do with religion?
We apologise for the break in transmission
[IS,P] P.... - NO
[Projoy] fictional - YES
[Rosie] organisation - NO
[IS,P] religious - NO
Detective fiction?
[IS,P] Sam Spade etc - NO
Quiet in here, isn't it? Cartoon or animation related?
I'm getting quite lonely
[IS,P] Cartoon/Animation? - The answer has to be YES (some applause), but that wasn't my original inspiration.
BTW I think this is already quite close to a resolution.
Related to a myth or fairy tale?
[Néa] myth/fairy tale - NO
Super powers?
[IS,P] I thought you didn't do abstract human construct stuff!
[IS,P] Super-powered? - NO (a few chuckles in the audience)
A particular genre of fiction?
(meaning is The Answer a word describing a particular genre, rather than The Answer being categorisable under one).
[Projoy] a genre? - NO
A fictional story that was originally textual but which has since become an animated or cartoon representation of such?
[UK] Generally not, but INJ was rather lonely, I thought, and I wanted to give the game a shove.
Well, thank you.
[IS,P] book later animated - YES (applause)
Just to clarify my last response. I could strictly have answered NO in that the answer is not a fictional story that etc. as such, but I gave the more helpful and leading answer. As ever, you may need to make sure you aren't making any unjustified assumptions.
Idéfix?
Is The Answer the title of a book?
[CdM] Idéfix - NO
[Projoy] book title - NO (that was the point I was trying to hint at)
Is the answer on the card the name of a character? (I know Fiction-YES and Human-NO)
Getting warm
[IS,P] character's name? - YES (applause - some members of the audience start to put jackets on)
Lewis Carroll?
Bambi?
A.A. Milne?
Something From Rudyard Kipling?
And his exceedingly good pies?
[UK] Shurely "cakes"
As the sands of time draw inexorably towards a close
[IS,P] A.A. Milne - YES (further loud applause)
The other answers are therefore superfluous
As 'Pooh' has been ruled out, how about "Tigger"
Wol?
Keep Going
[IS,P] Tigger - NO (I had been thinking of 'Paddington' originally, but remembered the 'P' question.)
[Phil] - Wol - NO
Last chance for today
I'll be leaving this laptop behind in about 15 mins and not connecting again until tomorrow.
Piglet?
Wait, don't think of an elephant - is it a Heffalump?
Eeyore?
And we have a winner.It is Eeyore.
So I'll pass this baton to CdM, but I don't suppose it'll do him any good.
Rats! I thought I'd done enough to win it - indeed I was going to add Eeyore after Phil's Wol but thought others should be given a chance to chip in - at least it wasn't a lurker.
Game stalled
I think it's the phrase "And we have a winner. It is Eeyore". Everyone's waiting for Eeyore to post a new topic.
I can't post a clue. I have this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side.
*runs in*
Sorry I'm late. All right, this is
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL and ABSTRACT connections.
I should warn you that I am traveling for most of the next 48 hours, so my connections will be intermittent.
Oh, and [IS,P] -- thanks for doing all the heavy lifting on that last one. :-)
Is it constructed humanly?
Is the answer "something"?
[Projoy] YES. The words on the card are a human construct. However in another sense the answer is YES AND NO.
[Raak] YES. The words on the card are a thing. However in another sense the answer is NO.
Any religion/spirituality connection?
Goddity? I can think of several. However, the least misleading answer is NO.
[Raak] By the way, if you meant "is the word(s) on the card 'something'?", the answer is NO.
Is it fictional?
Fictional? NO, the words on the card are not fictional. However, in another sense the answer is YES AND NO.
When you talk about "another sense", is it the same "other sense" for each question?
Is the animal connection one particular species?
Is the answer a well-known or 'set' phrase?
Is it connected with a sport or game?
Is it a filament of our imagination?
figment obviously. Pardon me.
Is another sense always the same sense? YES.
One particular species? NO.
Is the answer a well-known phrase? NO.
Is the answer a 'set' phrase? YES. *laughter*
Connected with a sport or game? NO. (But in another sense YES AND NO.)
A figment of our imagination? I think the best answer is NO.

Sorry about the absence. I was hellishly busy for the last two days. Normal service should be resumed shortly.
Connected with mathematics?
Connected with mathematics? Fundamentally I would say NO, although you are (I think) drawing the right conclusion from the earlier laughter. In another sense, of course, the answer is YES AND NO.
Is this a form of reproduction?
A form of communication?
Reproduction? NO. (or YES and NO)
Communication? NO. (or YES and NO)
Six of one and half a dozen of the other?
6 and 6? NO. (and in another sense, NO.)
Is it anything to do with sorting?
To do with sorting? To be honest, I am not exactly sure what you mean. It is not to do with sorting in the sense of, say, computer code, but it is to do with sorting in some sense, I suppose. Of course, in another sense the answer is YES AND NO.
Is the answer self-referential?
Schroedinger's cat?
Does the word "everything" appear on the card?
Is it a matter of opinion?
Self-referential? NO. *applause*
Superpussition? NO.
'Everything' on the card. *applause* As I have worded the card, NO. But it would be badly misleading to give that answer, so I will tell you that the phrase "all things" does appear on the card.
Matter of opinion. 100% of those polled say NO.
The phrase "Man is the measure of all things"?
No, it's not a well-known phrase, and it's not a matter of opinion...

How about Are there more than four words on the card?
More than four words? YES.
All things come to those who wait?
Patience is its own reward? NO. (Not a well-known phrase, remember)
(Incidentally, I'm rather surprised to find that 'superpussition' only has two googlehits. It's more original than I thought.)
Looking back, I saw that I answered "connected with a sport or a game?" as NO (as well as YES AND NO). While that is still probably the least misleading answer, it occurs to me that the answer does have some connection to a game.
The end of all things?
All things fall into one or more of the categories: Abstract, Animal, Vegetable or Mineral
End of all things? NO.
Everything AVMA? NO. *a tiny smattering of applause*
This game, of all things?
This game? NO.
The universe?
What's left after you take away life and everything? NO.
More than six words on the card?
Is it All Things That Fall Into This Category as per the famous Chinese Encyclopaedia?
Mm. Or "Those That Fall Into the Present Classification". Altho, perhaps unsurprisingly, Borges may have made it up.
More than six words? YES.
All things that fall into this category? NO. Not self-referential, remember. But you are on the right track and so, to speed things along, I will tell you that the first six words on the card are "The set of all things that".
The set of all things that have not been played in this game?
Are you still sane?
The set of all things that can be classified?
The set of all things that may be classified under the headings Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract?
Except that would be self-referential again.
The set of all things that do not exist?
[Raak] I suspect you had it with your previous question.
Tsoatt !played? NO.
Am I still sane? ARTICHOKE.
Tsoatt can be classified? NO. (see self-referential=NO)
Tsoatt can be classified as AVMA? NO. (see this comment)
Tsoatt aren't? NO.

Perhaps it's time to start asking some questions again?
Is this set finite? i.e. could you, at least in theory, count the items in it?
Are there any chihuahuas in this set?
Finite? I know enough mathematics to know I need to be careful around infinities, but I am pretty confident that this set is neither finite nor countably infinite.
Chihuahuas? *applause for the question* There almost certainly are chihuahuas in this set. However, a much more helpful observation is that a chihuahua is not in this set.
<fastshow>What are the schools like in your area?</fastshow>
Do all the chihuahuas in the set exist, or have they existed?
Chihuahuas in the set (Shurely "badgers in the sett")
Is this chihuahuas nonsense related to the famous Beyond the Fringe monologue:
... I opened the door accordingly and went in, and there was Moore seated by the fire with a basket upon his knees. ‘Moore’, I said, ‘do you have any apples in that basket?’ ‘No’, he replied, and smiled seraphically, as was his wont. I decided to try a different logical tack. ‘Moore’, I said, ‘do you then have some apples in that basket?’ ‘No’, he replied, leaving me in a logical cleft stick from which I had but one way out. ‘Moore’, I said, ‘do you then have apples in that basket?’ ‘Yes’, he replied. And from that day forth, we remained the very closest of friends.
All things that on earth do dwell?
*thinks he needs to google fastshow*
Have all chihuahuas in set existed? NO.
Badgers? For free, I will tell you that a badger is also not in the set or the sett.
All earth-dwellers? NO.
Is it connected with color?
Why avoid the obvious?
Tsoat plural?
Connected to color? I can think of several connections to color. However, color is not in this set.
Tsoatt are plural? NO. However, plurals are in this set.
TSOATT - is the next word 'can'?
Can? NO. Also, cans are not in this set.
Do the contents of the set change over time?
Are any non-plurals in this set?
I'm having fun here
Contents change over time? I suppose they do, yes, but I don't think that is very helpful. The contents of the set are not in the set, by the way.
Any non-plurals in the set? YES. Non-plurals are not in the set, though.
The set of all things beginning with P?
The set of all things that have not been mentioned in this game
We have a winner!
The set of all things that begin with P is indeed the answer. Raak is now in possession of a passed baton

This reminded of me of the time I chose 'Human Construct' as an AVMA subject -- then, as now, everyone oddly failed to ask the standard question, making the quest much more difficult than I expected.
The next one is MINERAL.
Metal?
[CdM] Doooh! Brilliant.
Ceramic?
stone?
Man-made?
[Projoy] Not metal.
[Phil] Not ceramic.
[INJ] Not stone.
[Rosie] Can be man made.
A substance?
[Phil] Not a substance. (Substance is involved, but the answer is not some substance.)
Plastic?
[Projoy] Not plastic.
Glass?
reflective?
[Néa] Not glass.
[Projoy] Yes, reflective.
liquid?
[INJ] *applause* Liquid.
Mercury?
Set of all things beginning with P
The problem with 'does it begin with a P' is that it is really Lib's question and she hasn't been around for a while, so sometimes we forget to ask it...
Meanwhile, in this game ... wonders how Mercury is not 'metal' and also how it 'can be man-made', then wonders about the varying definitions of 'man-made' and gives up.
Does it begin with a P
[Projoy] Not mercury (not a metal, remember?)
[ISP] These things can be created deliberately, and (more usually) they can arise by themselves.
[ISP] Does not begin with a P.
Is a water surface involved?
[Rosie] *cheering* A water surface is involved.
Oil on the water?
Smoke on the water? On the Waterfront? Watership Down? The Water Margin?
[ISP] None of the above.
A flood?
Mrs INJ's old school is closed because there are several hundred people sleeping in it at the moment, waiting for the water to go down enough to go home.
moving water?
[ISP] The "P" question is Tuj's, shurely?
[Projoy] Might or might not be moving, since...
INJ has it: a flood. One slowly turning Poohstick handed on.
Well, that was quick
Having wadwd out to collect the baton, may I propose:
Vegetable
Barry Took? (oblig.)
[Projoy] Yes, but see above.
A Pea?
[IS,P] The P question has been asked more often than not in recent rounds.
[IS,P] Barrington Took? - NO
[CdM] - Petit, marrowfat, snow, etc. - NO (though it did cross my mind)
Is it teh edible?
Is size important?
[Pj] re: Tuj/Lib - oops, yes, I meant Tuj. Tuj hasn't been around much either.
[PJ] comestible - YES
[IS,P] the big question - NO is probably the best answer, but I'm not sure what you're asking
Normally eaten raw?
A fictional vegetable?
Can it be grown in Britain?
[Irg] - Normally eaten raw? - NO
[IS,P]Pomegrapeberry - NO
[Rosie] Can be grown in Britain? - YES
A particular dish/recipe?
[Irg] particular dish - NO (but worth asking)
Im away from my desk until Thursday, so connectivity may have to depend on finding a friendly wifi.
Is it widely cultivated in Britain?
Does it grow on trees, you know?
[CdM] widely cultivated in Britain - Not very
[Projoy] Like spaghetti? - NO
I could have answered several questions as 'Not Applicable'
Is it typically eaten?
Grows on a bush?
[CdM] eaten - YES
[Pj] bushy - NO
Is this a group of vegetables?
Grows in the dark, dark soil?
[Chalky] group of veggies - No
[Pj] Grows in the dark? - NO
needs dark soil - NO
grows underground - NO
Have I covered every meaning of the question? As ever, the watchword is check your assumptions.
Checking assumptions:
An edible vegetable, typically eaten cooked, doesn't grow on a tree or bush or underground, cultivated (though not widely in Britain), not a group of veg.
So we are looking at vegetable as in "a plant, root, seed, or pod that is used as food"? how about 'rice'.
Nope
[IS,P] rice - NO
Several mistaken assumptions there. The main one is that it is 'a' vegetable.
I may have been unhelpful in trying to be too helpful. So, the answer on the card is not cultivated as such. Try to sort that out and you'll be closer.
Is it leafy?
is it a class of vegetables (eg, brassicas)?
[Rosie] leafy? - NO
[K(l)] a class of vegetables - NO (although Mrs INJ is far more familiar with classes of vegetables than I am, since she is a teacher.)
clarification
Had I been pedantic, instead of trying to be helpful, I could have answered NO to the questions 'Can it be grown in Britain? and 'Is it widely cultivated in Britain?'
Does it contain mind-altering substances?
[Rosie] Does it contain mind-altering substances? - Not usually, though it's not unknown for it to do so. (some laughter and applause)
Is this something that you put something else inside?
[Raak] something that you put something else inside? - NO
Can contain alcohol?
[Projoy] can contain alcohol? - depending on your definition of 'contain' (also true for Rosie's question), but YES, it can, although it normally doesn't
Is chocolate involved?
[Raak] chocolatey? - NO
A trifle, or similar?
A mere bagatelle.
Has it been processed?
[Rosie] trifling - NO
[Phil] Processed - YES (some applause)
Does it taste sweet?
[Projoy] sweet? - YES (loud applause)
Is this something you put into something else?
Sugar
?
Licorice?
... Pontefract Cakes?
Nearly there
[Raak] something you put into something else? - YES
[Chalky] Sugar? - YES - The word 'sugar' is on the card but that is not the full answer (sorry if you couldn't hear that above the applause)
[IS,P] - NO & NO (obviously)
A sugar cube?
Caster Sugar?
Scrub that... how about icing sugar, apropos MCiOS chat game as of now?
Alan Sugar?
A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down?
[Raak] - YES, it is A Sugar Cube. One baton with the name 'Raak' down the middle handed on.
The next object is MINERAL, with ANIMAL connections. (A ripple of laughter goes through the audience at the answer is revealed on the laser display board.)
A milking machine?
[Projoy] Not a milking machine.
Some sort of fossil?
[Projoy] I'm still giggling.
A secretion?
[Dujon] Not a fossil.
[Rosie] Not a secretion.
Red Bull?
[CdM] Not Red Bull.
Manufactured?
A fake dog poo?
[CdM] Made, yes, but you wouldn't say it was manufactured.
[Phil] Ick? No.
An example of a craft?
Is it potable or edible?
[Projoy] Not a craft (in any sense of the word).
[Rosie] You can't eat it or drink it.
Is it shaped like an animal?
[Phil] Not shaped like an animal. *the audience start falling asleep*
Is the mineral metal?
[Phil] Some of the mineral is quite likely metal. *the audience snore gently*
Bigger than a toaster
*nudges audience*
If the mineral is only "quite likely" metal would it be true to say that the composition of parts of this object is mostly unknown?
[Phil] Bigger than a toaster. *the audence open one eye and close it again*
[Rosie] Not unknown to the people who made it.
Has it a function?
Is there one in the Raak household
Is it used outdoors?
[Projoy] It has a function.
[Phil] I don't have one.
[Rosie] YES and NO would both be both accurate and misleading.
Does it have *one* function?
[Projoy] One function? It depends on how you subdivide things. One more or less broad class of functions, yes.
Have these/has this been around for more than a couple of centuries?
{Projoy] 200 years old? No.
A building?
Is this 'thing' fictional'?
Is it a single unique thing?
Have these/has this been around less than a hundred years?
[ISP] *the audience awakens from its dogmatic slumber and cheers* Yes, a building.
[Dujon] Non-fictional.
[CdM] Yes, a unique thing.
[Projoy] In one sense, definitely not, in another, I expect not. (Ditto for 200 years.)
A place of worship?
[Phil] Not a place of worship.
In Britain?
Does anyone live in it?
[CdM] Not in Britain.
[Projoy] Quite possibly, but it's not usual.
In Europe?
A place of worship? Sacrifice? Macchu Picchu?
[Projoy] Yes, in Europe.
[ISP] I refer you to my last answer to Phil.
The Ice Hotel?
[INJ] *Applause* Not the Ice Hotel.
Is its nature dependent on the climate of where it is?
[Projoy] Not dependent on climate.
The European Parliament Building?
In Western Europe?
The Louvre Pyramid?
[Phil] Not the EU Parliament.
[Projoy] In Western Europe.
[Dujon] Not the Louvre Pyramid.
In Germany?
Does the building have a political purpose / significance?
[Projoy] Not in Germany.
[UK] No political purpose.
In France?
[Projoy] Yes, in France.
So, it's between 100 and 200 years old, yes?
(since you ruled out >200 and <100)
Old age
[Projoy] How do you work that out? You asked:
more than a couple of centuries? ANSWER NO
less than a hundred years? ANSWER In one sense, definitely NOT, in another, I expect NOT. (ditto for 200)

I make that = non-existent, despite its non-fictional nature.
Is the animal connection human?
Sports connections?
Sorry, I misread the 100 years question. This thing is, in one sense definitely less than 100 years old, and in another sense I don't know. Or to be more explicit, as it's been established to be a building, its present use is less than 100 years old, but I don't know when it was constructed.
[Phil] Yes, the animal connection is human.
[ISP] No connection with sports.
Ever used for a military purpose?
[Projoy] Military? Not that I know of.
Is it in Paris?
Is it a cave? note to self: Is a cave a building as such...
"Discovered" less than 100 years ago? A settlement of some kind? Archeological ruins?
[Projoy] *cheering* It is in Paris.
[ISP] Not a cave.
[ISP] Not discovered.
Having found a picture of it, I can say that the building itself is definitely less than 100 years old.
A government building?
Bibliothéque nationale de France?
+ è - é
[Projoy] Not a government building, nor the Bibliotheque.
A hint: the animal connection is not merely that it is a building that people use.
Named after somebody?
(I thought about guessing Centre Pompidou, but I would doubt that Raak would ever have thought that might have been old.)
[CdM] Er...sort of named after someone.
Marche aux Puces?
[Chalky] Not the flea market.
A museum?
A station on the Paris Metro?
Aeroport Charles de Gaulle?
[CdM] Not a museum.
[ISP] Not a station.
[ISP] Not an airport. (Close attention to the audience's reactions may suggest a less random direction to explore.)
A park or public open space?
[Raak] Re: reactions - I get that to be cheers at Builiding in Paris, and applause at the Ice Hotel.
[ISP] Not a park or open space.
(The audience murmurs approvingly at ISP's perspicacious summary.)
A hotel or guest house?
Somewhere at EuroDisney (although that's not paris per se)
[ISP] Yes, a hotel.
[ISP] Not at EuroDisney.
Hotel George V?
No, is it The Paris Hilton?
The Ritz - named after the famous cracker.
simmed by Projoy - serves me right for lurking.
[Irg] Still in with a chance - there are five Paris Hiltons not counting the slapper.
I think we can hand the baton to Projoy now; there is no need to wait for Raak.
(In other words, the George V is clearly the right answer.)
[ISP] There are indeed five Hilton hotels in Paris, but only one is...
[Projoy] ...The Paris Hilton Hotel. One nth-generation videotape passed under the counter to Projoy.
An apostrophe?
[CdM] Curses! So predictable! It is, indeed, an apostrophe. *hands over curly baton to Cd'M*
Rapture?
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent?
I'm assuming that Projoy is going to come back and set a real one.
Ah, then I've managed to be unpredictable for once, since I'm not. Must repeat this. Over to you. :)
Very well.
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections (and to a lesser extent mineral and vegetable connections also)
Rapture? No.
Witt and wisdom? No.
Is the animal human?
Human? Yes, the animal connections are human.
It is an activity?
It is/Is it
Is it a contrivance of homo sapiens?
An activity? No, although I suppose you could say it is connected to an activity.
Done by folks? Yes.
Connected to a sport or game?
A childhood thing?
Connected to sport or game? No. I don't think the "activity" route will help.
Childhood thing? No.
Fictional?
Describes a relationship?
Is it a good thing?
Is money involved?
Fictional? No.
Describes a relationship? No (if I understand the question correctly)
A Good Thing? That is a matter of opinion, but I think most people would be more inclined to answer yes rather than no.
Money involved? Yes is I think the best answer. *a little applause*
Is it an occupation?
An occupation? No. *a little applause*
Connected with art?
Connected with art? No (except tangentially).
Connected with social activity?
Connected with social activity? Hmmm. I'm really not sure how to answer that -- it depends what you mean by 'social activity'. I will say that the animal connection involves a number of humans, all of whom are broadly engaged in some kind of activity.
...some kind of common activity...
Watching the Eurovision Song Contest?
Has this happened throughout human history (AFAYK)?
Eurovisioauraling? No.
Happened throughout history? Well, it is something that exists, rather than happens. And the answer is No.
I guess Raak actually asked about Eurovisiovisioing. The answer is still No.
Do people need to meet to carry out this activity?
Need to meet? In the case of the thing mentioned on the card people certainly do, but one could imagine the activity being carried out with minimal face-to-face contact. Even in the case of the thing mentioned on the card, some of the people involved probably never meet.
Do these people have a political or religious belief in common?
Politics or God? No.
Is it The Morniverse, or similar community?
Morniverse? No.
Similar community? No, but it is in some ways a community (although that isn't the word one would usually use), in that involves a group of people engaged (as I said before) in some kind of common activity.
As INJ would say, examine your assumptions.
Is this some sort of 'fan' group (e.g. Trekkies)
For most of its participants is this activity basically a hobby?
Fan group? No.
Hobby? No. *applause for the question*
Is there a language connection?
Do people get paid for doing this?
Is it an academic activity?
Language connection? Sort of, but I think that would be a red herring.
Do people get paid for doing this? *some applause* People do get paid for the activity, yes. Note that the answer on the card is not the activity, though.
Academic activity? No.
Is it something that happens online?
Does the payment for this activity come from some Government department?
Is writing involved in this activity?
Online? Not exclusively, although there is a substantial online component these days.
Government funded? No.
Writing involved? Yes. *applause*
A type of journalism?
Journalism? The activity is journalism, yes. *applause*
A newspaper?
Journalistic Licence?
Paparazzi? Paparazzi? Ya no quieres caminar...
sings... porque no tienes, porque le falta, marijuana que fumar...
Poetic Licence?
A gossip column?
The fourth estate?
TV critic?
Newspaper? No. *smattering of applause*
Journalistic License? No.
Pappa Paparra Papparra Obnoxious photojournalists? No.
Poetic License? No.
Gossip column? No.
Fourth Estate? No.
TV Critic? No.
The audience has gone very quiet.
A diary?
OK, I'm reduce to guessing at the moment, sorry.
Crossword compilers?
Diary? No.
Crossword compilers? No.
"Fourth Estate" should perhaps also have had a smattering of applause.
Perhaps a brief summary would help. This thing is abstract with animal connections. It is a non-fictional human construct that has not always existed. The animal connection involves a number of humans, all of whom are broadly engaged in the common activity of paid journalism.
Cookery columns?
A prize of some sort?
Cookery columns? No.
A prize of some sort? No.
A press conference?
A press conference? No.
Does the connection involve a particular area of expertise (such as economics, sport, fashion)?
City columnist?
Is this exclusively in the area of newspaper journalism?
Has it been around more than two hundred years?
Tony Blair's 'feral beast'?
Making some progress
Involve particular area of expertise? No (that is, not beyond what is already implied by the fact that you know that there is a connection to journalism). *some applause for the question*
City columnist? No.
Exclusively newspaper journalism? No. *applause*
More than 200 years? No (but I will give you a hint and tell you that I did have to check).
Blair the wild things are? No.
As one clarification, I want to stress that I have said that the animal connection involves people "broadly" engaged in journalism, but a pedant (not that there are any around here) might claim that the activity is not journalism per se.
Letters to the Editor?
Ignore that question - your comment "engaged in the common activity of paid journalism" just nudged the penny.
An interview?
Yours sincerely, Disgusted of Katoomba? No.
An interview? No.
The parliamentary lobby?
Obituaries?
Parliamentary Lobby? No.
Obituaries? No.
The Groucho Club?
Groucho Club? No. *the audience is asleep*

I think you need more questions.
I hope I haven't misled with the "not journalism per se". Journalism is definitely involved.
I'm about to travel to France and so may be away from the internets for 24 hours or so.
Is it a system?
Does it involve writing for a specific section of a newspaper?
Leaders/Editorials?
A system? Not sure what you mean, but I am pretty sure the answer is No.
Specific section? No.
Editorials? No.
diarising
... am disinclined to suggest 'blogging' as that is an exclusively internetty experience
Reporting?
Diarising? No.
Reporting? No. *substantial applause from their audience, although their enthusiasm should not be overrated, stemming as it does partly from relief that they finally have an excuse to do something other than sit there mutely*
Remember the answer on the card is not the activity itself.
Is the answer an adjective describing a person who may be journalistically inclined?
Current affairs?
Are the mineral and vegetable connections just ink and paper respectively?
Adjectivally descriptive answer? No. The answer is not an adjective, and does not describe someone journalistically inclined.
Electric adultery? No.
Mineral and vegetable = ink and paper? Basically, yes. You could add computers, buildings, and so on, but I don't think these connections tell you anything you don't already know.
so-called "Fleet Street"?
Fast Track? No.
Sub-editors?
Subeditors? No.
International/'foreign' coverage?
Reviews of some kind?
Small earthquake in Chile? No. *smattering of applause*
Reviews? No.
Travel writing?
Travel writing? No. You all need to think bigger. Also, there has only been one guess that has even approximated the kind of entity that is on the card.
The Murdoch Media Juggernaut?
News?
Rupert the Bear? No. *audience applause that, by means of subtly shifting cadences, conveys the message that they are applauding not so much for the name Murdoch as for the fact that there have now been two guesses that approximate the entity on the card*
News? OK, you don't need to think quite that big. Nevertheless *applause, tinged with relief that we may finally be getting somewhere*
Is it a specific organisation?
Specific organisation? Yes. *applause*
Reuters?
The Rothermere press?
Reuters? No. *sustained applause*
Rothermere Press? No. *sustained silence*
A specific news agency?
A specific news agency? Yes.
AP?
AHN?
Really, what else could it have been?
A P is indeed what is on the card. This just in from our correspondent: a baton has been delivered to East Anglia.
A N I M A L
H U M A N?
[CdM] Not human.
Mammalian?
[Projoy] Yes, mammalian.
A specific species?
Topical?
[Projoy] To be very nitpickingly precise, not a specific species.
[Rosie] Not topical.
Feline?
[[I] Not a cat.
A specific, individual animal?
[CdM] Not an individual.
Does it live in the water?
[I] Not alive.
[I] Not in water.
An extinct creature?
[CdM] Not extinct.
Animal byproduct?
[Inkspot] Yes, an animal product.
Food for humans?
[Rosie] Yum? Bleah.
A stuffed animal (taxidermist wise)?
Is it from the male and female?
[Dujon] (applause)Taxidermy is involved.
[Inkspot] Could be from either.
Is the answer of the form "an <animal><part of animal>" (e.g., a moose head)?
[CdM] *applause*! That is included in the answer.
A stuffed moose head?
An elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[Projoy] Not a moose.
[CdM] *wild cheering* The very words on the card! One Victorian sword-stick passed on.
eeeek! Sorry. My internets access is intermittent right now. Let me set an easy one.
MINERAL with ANIMAL connections
*audience laughter, with a second wave of laughter as the first one is dying down*
Is the mineral man-made?
Is the mineral physically connected to the animal?
Something to do with sex?
A parrot-handle umbrella?
A cast-iron elephant's foot umbrella stand?
Man-made? Could be. *audience laughter*
Physically connected to the animal? Well, yes. But then again, no. *audience laughter*
To do with sex? Well, er, it could be, though it is probably fair to say, not normally. *audience laughter* Not that I am passing any judgment on what is normal, you understand. *audience laughter*
Parrot-handle umbrella? No.
Cast-iron efus? No.
Is it bigger than a shoe box?
Bigger than a shoebox? The question is not really meaningful.
I mean, *chastity* belt?
Very strange, I posted with a misprint, hence the correction, which seems to have overwritten the original.
Probably just clicked Preview by mistake.
Chestity belt? Charity belt? Elastity belt? No.
Is this a substance, or substances, as opposed to an object?
Substance? Yes. *applause*
My God, it's not a turd, is it?
Looks like ... smells like ... tastes like ... thank god I didn't step in it...? No, but *sustained audience applause and laughter*
You're not taking the piss, are you?
Bogies?
And I don't mean those four-wheel assemblages you find under railway carriages.
Does it begin with...?
Urine is the word on the card. One Andres Serrano representation of a baton returned to Raak.
Let me try to raise the tone with this M I N E R A L and A B S T R A C T.
Ancient Greek sculpture?
A work of art?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Raak] Shurely your winning question last round should have been "Does it begin with pee"
[I] The audience applauds, but only for your good taste. Not ancient Greek sculpture.
[R] In a sense, yes.
[ISP] Bigger than a toaster.
On reflection, I think the ABSTRACT is inaccurate, and this should be classified simply as MINERAL.
A natural geographical feature?
[Inkspot] Not natural.
A building?
A bridge?
[Rosie] Yes! A building.
[I] Not a bridge.
In Europe?
[Néa] In Europe.
Built after 1900?
[I] Not built after 1900.
In Britain?
[I] Yes, in Britain.
Open to the public?
[Rosie] Partly open to the public.
Prehistoric?
[Néa] Not prehistoric.
A religious place?
In narrow sense, excludes banks, sports grounds,....
The Houses of Parliament?
[Inkspot] Not a religious place.
[Irouléguy] Not the H of P.
In England?
[Néa] In England.
St Pancras Station?
Would this edifice be a tourist attraction?
[Rosie] Not St. Pancras.
[Dujon] Quite possibly, I'm not sure.
Is it a residence?
In southern England?
Using the 'south of a line drawn between the Wash and the Severn' definition.
[Inkspot] Not a residence.
[Irouléguy] In southern England.
By the seaside?
[ISP] Not by the seaside.
In London?
Built before 1800?
[Inkspot] Built before 1800.
Do you have to pay to go in?
[Rosie] (laughter from the audience) Quite the reverse.
(I note an assumption of present tense that might usefully be questioned.)
Newgate debtors' prison?
[I] Not Newgate.
Is it still standing?
[Inkspot] Partly.
A prison?
Ahem - my London question hasn't had an answer yet.
A fortification?
[Irouéguy] Sorry -- it is/was in London. Not a prison.
[Inkspot] Not a fortification.
Have missing "l".
Built before 1700?
London Bridge?
All stations to Tunbridge Wells West. Join the front coach for Hurst Green Halt.
Built by the Romans?
[I] Not built before 1700.
[R] Not London Bridge.
[I] Not built by the Romans.
Marble Arch?
Is any of it still visible?
[Projoy] Not Marble Arch
[Rosie] Some of it is still visible.
North of the river?
Is it underground?
[I] North of the river. [P] Overground.
Did it commemorate an event?
[I] Not commemorative.
The British Museum?
The British Museum? Pah! Who is this man, he is an insult to me. "It's primary purpose is of course functional". What a load of WILLIES! It's primary purpose is of course sexual. It is a massive assertion of the phallique power of London. These huge columns plunging into Mother Earth!
Highgate cemetary?
Would it have had an address?
i.e. is it a building on a street, or is it in another context?
Is there a health connection?
[ISP on something] Not the BM.
[ISP] Not Highgate.
[Projoy] Yes, a building on a street.
[I] No health connection.
Time for a summary: A building in London, north of the river, built between 1700 and 1800, part of which is still standing. It is (or was) partly open to the public, overground, and on a street. It is not: a religious place, a bridge, the Houses of Parliament, a prison, a fortification, St Pancras Station, Marble Arch, the British Museum or Highgate Cemetery. Nor does it have any health connection. The question “Do you have to pay to go in” produced laughter from the audience and the response “Quite the reverse”.
The bank of England?
Was it the residence of a well-known person?
Did it produce something for sale?
add "Not a residence" to summary.
[I] (applause!) Yes! These very words appear on the card! But that is not the whole answer.
[R] I don't know if any of the Bank of England's officials ever had their residence there.
[I] Not exactly.
Google may be your friend at this pont.
The Temple of Mithras?
(Google is indeed a friend)
[Projoy] Not the Temple of Mithras (which was built too long ago).
Sir John Soane's Bank of England?
[Projoy] The very words on the card. Over to you.
Hm. I should be doing other work, but here's an ABSTRACT .
Sabbatarianism?
[Ig] The very words on the - actually, NO. :)
Human construct?
Is it art?
Related to your work?
[Kim] Among the mighty works of man? YES
[ISP] Is it art? Strictly, NO. *applause*
[Raak] Clever question! Related to my work, YES. *applause*
An artistic technique?
To do with museums?
(Scratch that last, I'm out of date.) Something to do with the theatre?
[Ig] Artistic technique? NOT EXACTLY *small ripple*
[Raak] (I do occasionally still do something in a museum, but not often) To do with theatre? NOT BY DEFINITION (but can be)
(i.e. not intrinsically to do with theatre)
To do with computers?
Computer-related? NO. (again, not intrinsically but could be)
To do with music?
[Raak] Music? YES *muchos applausos*
A particular musical form or format (ie overture, song, duet)?
[Ig] A form or format? NO
A degree in musical composition?
Faculty + Staff? NO
Furry fandom?
Abything to do with technique?
Nearly got it right just then.
[Phil] Furry music? NO
[Rosie] Technique? NO
Begins with P?
..and no, I'm not Lib...
Is this specific to a particular type of music (ie rock, classical, folk)?
[Tuj] Begins with P? PNO
[Ig] Particular type of music? NO, in the sense you give for type(however, it's not universal either).
Is it a specifically musical term, eg a cadenza
[Rosie] YES, tho perhaps in a subtly different way to your e.g.
Is there more than one word on the card?
[Phil] Multiple words? YES
Are any of the words on card in Italian?
Is it to do with electronic music?
[Rosie] Eye, Tie? NO
[Ig] Electronic music? NO (not intrinsically, but could be)
A time signature?
[Rosie] Time signature? NO *some applause*
Musical notation?
[Phil] Notation? NO, tho it does manifest in same.
An accelerando?
[Raak] A fastening? NO
A clef, bass or treble?
Not tenor or alto for they are manifestations of the Marquis de Sade.
[Rosie] Clef? NO *but an eruption of enthusiastic applause from the erudite audience*
Key signature?
[Rosie] YES, it is one key signature... *applause*
B flat?
Slimmer's instruction to stomach? NO
C major?
What Lamont failed to do on Black Wednesday? NO
A Flat Minor?
[Phil] A child under a bulldozer? NO, but soooo close!
A Minor?
[Phil] Not A Minor nor a minor. Getting colder.
A flat major
Surely?
G flat (major)
(Phil) Ab minor? That's bad spelling; it's G# minor. I dunno. You of all people. I suspect your Ab is correct, you bastard. :-)
[Rosie] A flat minor is 7 flats isn't it? And also a very old punchline.
[Phil] Yes, you have it with One Squashed Bandleader. *hands over neat military cork-tipped conductor's baton*
Many thanks - glad to get one again, at last :)

Your next AVMA for consideration and interrogation is ABSTRACT

All together now... a human construct?
A bluesy minor third?
[Projoy] Human construct, dagnammit? YES!
[Rosie] 33% of a depressed child? NO
An idea of the twentieth century?
Related to your work?
[Projoy] 20th century origin? NO
[Irouléguy] Pub-related? NO
Anything to do with music?
Specific to a particular culture?
[Rosie] Musical? NO
[ILG] Specific to a particular culture
YES
An idea from before 1000CE?
[Projoy] <1000AD? NO
Specific to a European culture?
[ILG] A European culture? YES
Specific to British culture?
Converging on . . . . .
[Rosie] British Culture? NO
From before 1500CE?
Specific to a western European culture?
[Projoy] <1500? NO
[Irouléguy] W. Europe? YES
Anything to do with religion?
[Irouléguy] To do with religion? *sharp intake of breath from some audience members* After some thought, officially, NO.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Atlast!
From before 1800?
[INJ] Anarcho-wotsit? Well, blow me down - NO
[Projoy] <1800? NO *audience anxiously awaits Projoy's next era query*
A celebration?
From before 1850?
May as well mine this seam out.
[Rosie] celebration? NO
[Projoy] <1850? NO *audience drums its collective fingers*
A Mediterranean country's culture?
[INJ] Med Country? NO
[Projoy] Just to make sure we're on the same wavelength, it did not come into being (inasmuch as an abstract entity can) in any of the timespans you've suggested.
From Germany?
[Irouléguy] From Germany? NO *Audience dozes quietly*
So it did come into being between 1850-1900?
Belgian or Dutch?
[Projoy] Originating 'twixt 1850 and 1900? YES (21st century was the only alternative left, I think)
[IS,P!] Belgian/Dutch? NO
A sport?
Irish?
Specific to a Nordic Culture?
[Rosie] A sport? My first thought was "yes", but it's actually "NO" *sudden re-awakening of audience followed by huge applause despite the "no"*
[Irouléguy] Irish? YES *yet more applause*
[Projoy] Nordic? see above.
A political idea?
Scrub that, not easily mistaken for a sport (except by politics junkies like me). A game?
[Projoy] A game? NO. Although, to clarify a little, games and sport are involved. *appreciative nods and applause from the audience*
To do with children in particular?
St Patrick's Day?
The Gaelic Athletic association?
Scrub previous - it's a celebration.
A particular event or date?
or the Celtic Revival (aka Irish Renaissance)?
Now we're getting somewhere...
[Projoy] Children in particular? NO
[Rosie] The GAA? Not the answer on the card, but you're getting warm *enthusiastic applause as the audience awaits the dénouement with eager anticipation*
[Irouléguy] a date, event or the celtic revival? NONE of those
The GAA rules?
[Irouléguy] The GAA Rules? NO, but they are associated with the answer on the card. *hushed anticipation*
The All-Ireland Championships?
The Rules of Gaelic Football?
[Irouléguy] The All-Ireland Championships? Two words missing from what's on the card (and if you get the second of them I'll be satisfied). *mutters of "harsh, but fair" from the Irish members of the audience*
[Rosie] See Irouléguy's question.
The All-Ireland Gaelic Football Championships?
or the All-Ireland Senior Football Championships, even?
Google is indeed our friend
[Irouléguy] ARGH! No, not quite - SO close, yet I can't give it to you on either post.
The All-Ireland Junior Football Championships?
[Projoy] A-I JFC? NO, you changed the wrong word - sorry.
The All-Ireland Senior Hurling Champuionships?
Gotta be, so it has.
[Rosie] Hoorah! Yes, indeed, 'tis the hurling. Here, take this camán and sliotar, and be off with you :-)
(Phil) Er, what do I do with them? Don't answer that.

Right, earwig-o with ABSTRACT and MINERAL or ABSTRACT..

Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Is it to do with the weather?
A ton of bricks?
Related to 'the arts'?
(Projoy) Yes, it's weather-related.
(Raak) Not a ton of bricks.
(Dujon) Nothing to do with the arts.
Is the mineral water?
A measurement?
(Raak) Water? Most of it is.
(Phil) No, not a measurement.
Noah's Flood?
Connected with climate change?
(Raak) Notable historic widespread intense precipitation event? No.
(Projoy) Nothing to do with climate change, manmade or otherwise.
Perhaps something to do with short term weather forecasting?
(Dujon) Not seaweed, hair, thunder-bottles, Positive Vorticity Advection or any other attempt at divination.
Fictional?
A particular form of precipitation?
(Raak) No, it's real (both meanings)
(Irouléguy) Not a hydrometeor, as they call it in the learned journals.
Is it a type of weather?
By the way, you would hit the sliotar with the camán.
Is the water, ice?
(Phil) Not strictly a type of weather, but in effect yes. (Irish implements) Ah, it's becoming a little clearer. Neither would fit where the sun don't shine, then.
(Inkspot) Ice? Most certainly not. *a few chuckles from the audience*
Normally linked with a particular part of the world?
Scotch Mist?
Scotch Mist?
oops - forgot the protocol.
Indian Summer?
(Irg) YES *audience applause*
(Phil) Not reduced visibility due to half a bottle of GlenPissartist
(ISP) Not an Indian Summer.
A monsoon?
A hurricane?
(Raak) Not the monsoon.
(Irg) A hurricane? Not a bit of it. *cruel laughter by knowledgable audience*

This is not a technical term but possibly used to be.

A named wind?
(Dujon) Not a named wind. *further audience chuckles*
The doldrums?
The El Niño/Southern Oscillation effect?
A tsunami?
(Irg) Not ENSO (It's a technical term)
(Raak) Not a tsunami.
but:
We have winner! It's the totally becalmed CdM. Well done, sir. (Local knowledge?). Over to you.
I think we ought to draw a line under this and move on, as they say.
I certainly drifted into a lurker's victory there.
This is ABSTRACT with very strong ANIMAL AND VEGETABLE connections, mainly MINERAL but also ANIMAL and VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MINERAL AND ABSTRACT. Also perhaps ABSTRACT.
Life, The Universe and Everything?
Indeed! *marks baton "Return to Sender"*
Ooh. Is that the first genuine hole in one in this game?
(CdM) Sorry about that. Sometimes it's worth a pop from the halfway line. :-)

Now, this time it's MINERAL

Rain?
(Irg) - Not rain. *some thoughtful chuckles from audience*
Naturally occurring?
[Rosie] No apology necessary! An excellent piece of guessing. When I set it I thought there was some chance that it would just click for someone.
[Projoy] What, my "apostrophe" wasn't a genuine hole in one? :-)
Condensation of some description?
(CdM) Naturally occurring? Unfortunately not.
The lavish definitions seemed to indicate only one thing. :-)
(Dujon) Not a form of condensation.

Switiching off at 3.45 BST, 2.45 GMT.

Made of plastic?
(Inkspot) Er, not plastic. *huge peals of laughter from audience*

Clarification: This (or these) can occur naturally, but it is rare, and the words on the card are always thought of as not a part of nature.

Solid, when at home?
(Projoy) Yes, it's solid.
Is it sold?
(Projoy) You can't buy one of these. *audience split their sides. Paramedics called.*
Man made?
An artificial body part?
(Inkspot) Manmade? YES.
(Raak) Not an artificial body part.
Larger than a double-decker bus?
(Irg) YES, larger than a double-decker bus, though not equally in all directions.
Made of stone?
(Projoy) Made of stone? YES, but only partly. *audience now becoming animated*
Is there a metal part?
(Phil) Metal? There may be a very small proportion, but essentially NO.
Made of concrete?
(Inkspot) Concrete? YES, but only partly.
A monument?
Are these specific to a particular culture or country?
A pyramid?
(Phil) Not a monument.
(Irg) Not specific to any culture or country though often popularly associated with one particular country.
(Projoy) Not a pyramid. More utilitarian.
A building?
(Phil) NO, not a building.
This "particular country" - is it in Europe?
Are there 10 or more in the world?
(Projoy) NO, not in Europe.
(Phil) Many, many more, but it is difficult or inappropriate to enumerate them precisely.
Is the country in Africa?
Is the name of the country (or a derivative thereof) part of the answer?
(Projoy) Not in Africa.
(Irg) No, the answer contains no reference to any country.

REMINDER "The country" is nothing more than the instinctive answer most people would give to the question "Where would you find (words on the card)?" (Words on the card) can be found in many countries.

Is the country in the Americas?
(Projoy) In the Americas? YES.
Are they as high as a double-decker bus?
South America?
(Phil) High as a double-decker? I'm sure some are even higher but some aren't.
(Projoy) Not South America.
Is there eny writing on them?
s/eny/any
A bridge?
No, not a bridge - how about a freeway?
(Phil) No, there isn't eny. :-)
(Projoy) Not a freeway, (or a bridge). *audience murmurings indicate some panel members may be showing detectable atomic motion.*
Should I pay much heed to the audience's laughter earlier?
Is it something vehicles can use?
(Phil) YES. Shurely one always should. They aren't a collection of wannabe Machiavellis as far as I know. (Projoy) Used by vehicles? YES (in some cases), a literal but unhelpful truth.
Is water involved?
Does this 'thing' enclose or partly enclose an open space?
(Phil) Water involved? Very much so, Des. (© M Lawrenson.)*audience now hyperventilating*
(Dujon) Enclose an open space? YES, in a sense, but beware.
Is ice involved?
(Projoy) Ice? You're getting colder.
Is steam involved?
(Phil) Nothing to do with steam, believe it or not.:-)
A levee?
A LEVEE it is! Well done, Phil. I'm afraid that makes it your shout.
Wow! That was a bit of a shot in the dark, but it was also the result of considered deduction of all previous answers. To be honest, I'm quite chuffed with getting that. I very nearly put "dam", but that would not be popularly associated with N America.

Right, your next AVMA is

ANIMAL or ABSTRACT

Yankee?
[irach] Yankee? NO
Is it art?
[IS,P!] is it art? Hmmmm....the Animal sense is not, the abstract sense is. *a little applause and a few whispers in the audience*
[sounds like porn...] Is it deceased (e.g. pickled)
Is it something as straight-forward as a picture of an animal...?
Depiction of a human?
[IS,P!] Nothing is deceased (and filth is not involved).
[UK] Picture of an animal? NO *a couple of audience members briefly sait forward part-way through the question*
[Rosie] Depiction of a human? "NO" & "Sort of" are the two unhelpful answers
A clarification: The words on the card can be construed in two different ways. One is animal, the other is abstract.
Is the abstract meaning a figurative reference to some quality of an animal or human?
[Rosie] figurative reference to some quality? NO
Is the animal human?
Back to basics.
[Rosie] The animal from which I have elicited an "Animal" sense of the answer is indeed human. *a little cautious applause*
A specific human?
[Irouléguy] A specific human? YES - specific, but not fixed.
A position or title (e.g., Queen of Melanesia)?
[CdM] Position/title? NO
Is this person the same person for everyone?
I.e. not "my mother-in-law".
[Rosie] Is this person the same person for everyone? NO *considerable applause*
One's "better half"?
[Rosie] Better half? NO *a little chuckling*
Is the person some kind of inspiration?
Breathe in.
[Rosie] An inspiration? For the animal sense of the answer, NO. For the abstract sense, YES *appreciative applause*
A fairy godmother?
[Rosie] FG? NO
Always of one sex?
[CdM] Always one sex? NO
A little summarisation and clarification
There are two different senses or potential meanings arising from the words on the card. My answers have been very carefully worded, but I think an incorrect assumption may have been made. In particular, be careful what you infer from: The animal from which I have elicited an "Animal" sense of the answer is indeed human. See also my answer to IS,P!'s first question as well. I think that may have been overlooked.
Is the "art" that of drawing or painting?
[Rosie] Drawing or painting? NO, but there is a connection to painting that might be misleading.
An artist's model, perhaps?
Artist's model? No.
A muse?
A Muse? No.
I suspect you're all heading in the wrong direction, based on an incorrect assumption of what my careful use of the word "Animal" means.
The Hand of God?
Hand of God? NO
Does the Animal refer to a part of the human body?
{Rosie] A part of the human body? YES *the last remaining audience member fetches the rest from the bar, and they all applaud excitedly*
The heart?
Mm, only because they're all pissed.
[Rosie] Heart? NO
Is the body part involved in perception?
It seems to be just you and me. Where is everybody? Do they know something?
[Rosie] Involved in perception? NO (unless you include the sense of touch).
I think they're all too busy testing their nerdiness on MCiOS ;-)
A limb?
[Phil] I'm madbusy atm.
Does the animal part of this puzzle refer to name of a person?
Sorry if that sounds odd, but I'm trying to work out the logic of some of the earlier questions and answers.
Hang on, hang on. Don't answer that one, Phil, if you don't mind. Rephrasing my query - does the card include the name of a person?
[Projoy] Limb? NO *sharp intake of breath, and some applause*
[Dujon] A person's name on the card? NO
In that case, a guess: a hot head (or a hothead if you prefer)?
[Dujon] hothead? NO
Rosie's question of 30th August is worth paying attention to.
Is the answer a phrase or
Is the answer a phrase or saying?
Hit the wrong key earlier.
Is it an appendage?
[Rosie] A phrase or saying? NO, not really.
[Projoy] Appendage? According the dictionaries I've consulted, that's the same as a limb, in biological terms, so: NO
Your father's moustache?
Not yours but ones.
[ROsie] "Your father's moustache"? NO, but getting towards the right lines. *some applause*
A joint?
I haven't been ignoring this game; I've just been woefully short of inspiration.
[CdM] Joint? NO, not in any sense of the word.
the moving finger?
[CdM] The moving finger? NO
Is the art representational art?
[Irouléguy] Representational art? Ummmm....not really relevant as far as I can tell, as it's not drawing or painting.
Do "the words on the card" include a relative?
[Rosie] A relative? NO
Anyone for a summary?
The words on the card, which are not a phrase or saying, and do not include a relative or the name of a person, can be taken in two ways:
The first is "Animal" in its nature, and is a part of the human body, although the human is not the same person for everyone, or even the same sex. The body part is not a limb, appendage or joint. It is reasonable to assume from the audience's lack of reaction that it is not a moustache, finger or hand.
The second is "Abstract" in nature, is art, is not painting or drawing. As such it is not "representational art", but could be said to be inspirational. There is, however, a connection to painting or drawing that is not implicitly mentioned on the card.
cont.
The body part is also not a heart, and not involved in perception, other than the fact that it has nerve ending, and therefore has the sense of touch. There are also plenty of incorrect guesses that I've brushed over in order to concentrate on what's important.
Bugger
I meant "explicitly", not "implicitly".
Is music involved?
[INJ] Music involved? NO
Does this involve the dermis (corium)?
Does a smile come into it?
[Dujon] Dermis? Only in that the body part is coated in it
[Rosie] A smile? NO
Does the art involve dance?
My Left Foot?
Although I'm not sure that it's neither a limb nor an appendage.
[Irouléguy] Dance? NO
Oops
[INJ] "My Left Foot" are indeed the words on the card! Congrats, and thank God someone got it in the end. I looked up appendage and limb and, in biological terms, they are both attached directly to the body; so, reluctantly, I had to say no.
Somewhat easier I hope
Try this one: Mineral and Vegetable
[INJ] Salt and pepper?
[Raak] Crueties - NO
Edible?
[Rosie] Edible? - I think I could justify both YES and PARTLY
A drink?
See - I said this would be easier
[Inks] Drinkie-poos? - YES (applause - there would be more, but many of the audience have not yet retaken their seats after the last marathon and those that have are still arguing about 'appendage')
An alcoholic drink?
Hidden textAppedage, n. Biology. A part or organ, such as an arm, leg, tail, or fin, that is joined to the axis or trunk of a body
[Phil] The devil's brew? - YES
It depends on your dictionary - but you did make it clear when you rejected it that you'd taken it as a synonym for 'limb', so that's fair enough.
A cocktail?
[Kim] Cocktail? - YES
A Mojito?
[Iroul] Get your mojito working? - NO
Main ingredient vodka?
[Inkspot] Vodka-based? - NO
Rum based?
Tequila sunrise?
Would it be informative to pursue the "mineral" component, or is it something ordinary like "ice"?
[Inks] A rum do? - NO
[CdM] Tequila Mockingbird? - NO
[CdM] NO and YES (It's not a Margarita)
Long Island Tea?
Getting quite thirsty now
[Iroul] Long Island Tea - NO (and as a bonus, it's also not a Hairy Navel)
Is it fizzy?
Does it contain more than three ingredients, not including ice?
Does it contain more than one spirit?
Homing in
[Phil] plink-plink fizz? - YES
[CdM] more than three ingredients? - NO
[Iroul] more than one spirit? - NO
Gin and tonic?
Now to be pedantic
[Inks] Jinnan Tonnyx? - YES, those words are on the card. However there are in fact 9 words on the card including the indefinite article, so I want a little more - though I won't insist on the exact wording. (catcalls from the audience)
Gordon's Gin and Schweppes tonic with ice and lemon?
No point in being silly about it
[Phil] Well the actual answer (containing the indefinite article, remember) was A large gin and tonic with ice and lemon - It was just what was in my mind at the time!
I'll let you and Inkspot fight over who deserves that one.
Oh God No! I'm still drained rfom the last one....
I have a surfeit of both gin and tonic at my disposal, so I'll stand back and let Inkspot pick up the baton.
Gingerly picks up the baton
Thank you Phil for your generosity in giving up the chair, very kind of you sir.

Itsa MINERAL and ABSTRACT

A geographical feature?
Is the mineral metal?
[Irouléguy] A geographical feature - No
[ImNotJohn] - mineral metal - No
Is the mineral stone?
[ImNotJohn] - Is the mineral stone? No
Is the abstract bit a human concept/construction/invention..?
Is the mineral water?
An object with a figurative significance?
(Phil) Is the mineral water what? Er, sorry.
[Irouléguy] Is the abstract bit a human concept/construction/invention - Yes
[Phil] Is the mineral water - No
[Rosie]An object with a figurative significance - Sorry about this but I don't know, could you give me and example of what one is. I would prefer to hold up my hands and admit to being a idiot, rather than mislead you
(Inkspot) Yes, it is a bit elliptical. What I meant was an object used as a metaphor, eg target, ball-park, field-marshal's baton, roadmap, hurdle, dustbin, crown etc.
(Rosie)After all that - No
A manufactured object?
[Rosie] A manufactured object - YES
A latter-day gadget, i.e. not around in 1950?
Any jokes about my age will be used as landfill.
Is it made of plastic?
Rosie - A latter-day gadget, i.e. not around in 1950 - No (which means it was around in the 1950s)
CdM - Is it made of plastic - YES
Anything to do with communication?
Not much plastic around in the '50's. Bakelite maybe.
[Rosie] Anything to do with communication - No
A household object?
[Rosie] A household object......No mmmmmmm but found in the house - Yes
Anything to do with electricity?
[Rosie] Anything to do with electricity - No audience slump back into their seats
A utensil?
[Rosie] If you use bakelite does the cake have fewer calories?
A container?
(ISP) Nice, that. But bakelite, alas, is three syllables.
[I Say, Porter!] A utensil - No [Rosie] A container - No
The whatever was made originally in the very, very, very late 40s in plastic by a descriptive name, but later it adopted its present plastic formulation and present whatjamacallit.
To do with music?
[Phil] - To do with music - No
An object small enough to be carried around?
Bakelite
[Rosie] Ah! Bakelite must refer to Colin as opposed to Tom
[Rosie] An object small enough to be carried around - YES, so light a child can [I Say, Porter!]- Bakelite - No
A frisbee?
A hula-hoop?
[CdM] A frisbee? No [Rosie] A hula-hoop? No
the children in the audience start paying attention
A toy?
This include mobile phones.
[Rosie] A toy - Found in a toy shop YES
Lego?
We have a WINNER, well done Phil Lego it is, and special thanks to Rosie.
A google for "invented in 1949" and "toy" revealed the solution (although it was interesting to see what else was invented that year).
Next, I'll go for Vegetable
Wood?
[Raak] Wood? NO
Edible?
[Raak] Edible? Hmmmm.....after some checking, YES.
The fruit of some tree or plant?
Or its root, stem or flower?
[Rosie] fruit ? NO
[Kim] Root, stem or flower? The most commonly consumed part of the plant falls into one of those categories.
Related to medicine?
Leaves?
Having eaten and shot, of course.
[Dujon] Medicinal? A correct answer is YES, but that's not what the answer is known for.
[Rosie] Leaves? NO
Is this used for something other than eating and medicine?
Is it easy to grow this vegetable in this country?
[Raak] Used for something other than eating and medicine? YES *some applause*
[Rosie] grown in this country? YES *a little more applause*
Is it used for textiles?
[Raak] textiles? NO
Is this an extract of the root/stem/flower rather than the item itself (if that makes sense)?
[Dujon] Yes, it makes sense, but NO, the root/stem/flower itself is used (sometimes dried and slightly processed), not an extract.
Ah well, in that case I'll nominate a liquorice stick - not the black extract one, the real chew-a-root variety. Yum.
Vanilla?
[Dujon] Liquorice? NO
[Raak] Vanilla? NO
Used as a flavouring?
[Raak] Flavouring? YES, but not exclusively.
Hops?
popeor
Beer
[Raak] Hops? Oh yes, Lordy, YES! A matter close to my heart :-) and hearty congrats, sir.
The next is MINERAL.
Is it a mass produced item?
[Inkspot] Yes, mass-produced.
Does it occur naturally?
[Ki] Does not occur naturally. If it did, it wouldn't have to be mass produced.
Money?
[I] Not money.
Mineral mostly (or entirely) metal?
[Rosie] Yes, mostly metal.
Bigger than a telephone box?
I can think of things that occur naturally and are also mass produced. Diamonds, for example.
A tool or implement?
Does it run on electric power?
[CdM] I would say that Rakk answered the question on 'mass produced' correctly, as it means the production of large numbers or quantities standardised items, I do not see how this could apply to diamonds.
[CdM] Not bigger that a telephone box.
[Rosie] Tool? Only very broadly speaking.
[Inkspot] Can be electric.
Bigger than a toaster?
Perhaps "mass-processed" would have been more accurate. Metals occur naturally but most have to be processed in order to have any use.
[Kim] Smaller than a toaster.
Would it normally be used inside the home?
Kikm I agree that minerals can individually be processed, however telephones, fridges, cars etc are not mass processed they are mass produced.
[Inkspot] Normally used in the home.
Would most players of this game own one?
[Inkspot] I'd say that this company and this company are pretty clearly mass-producing diamonds.
[CdM] I expect most players would own one (or more).
Those companies aren't digging them out of the ground.
A toothbrush?
[Raak] No. They are producing them. En masse. Which is my point. If the answer on the card was "Diamonds", then the correct response to both "Occurring naturally?" and "Mass-produced?" would be "Yes".

How about chicken eggs as another example? Unless you take a very narrow view of mass-production, I think they would qualify. Or what about fresh water from a desalination plant?
A knife?
I read Raak's answer as meaning that this particular thing doesn't occur naturally, rather than arguing that the two categories are mutually exclusive.
Whisk?
still wondering at CdM's "mostly metal" toothbrush...
A razor?
[IS,P] Good point. I was actually meaning to ask razor before, but then somehow talked myself into toothbrush, along the way forgetting why I had dismissed that idea earlier.
A watch or clock?
[CdM] Ok.
[I] Not a knife.
[ISP] Not a whisk.
]CdM] Not a razor.
[Rosie] *riotous applause* Yes, a watch or clock.
BTW, I have not checked to see whether this is a repetition of an earlier object. If so, perhaps the time has come...
A wrist-watch?
An alarm-clock
though mine seems to be mostly plastic.
The time has come...? Noooooooooo!
[Rosie] A wrist-watch could serve as one, but...
[Irouléguy] An alarm-clock it is.
And I see that not only has that been set before, but it was set by me before. Hm...
[Raak] Set before? Hmmm, wonder why it didn't go off. Better buy a new one.
Mine didn't go off this morning, either - though that was because I didn't set it :)
Okay, our next is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL connections.
The Labour Party?
Totally topical.
A fictional cgaracter?
doh! fat fingers!
g/h
Rosie] Brown is the new blue? Wholly wrong (also not the answer)
Inkers] Cgarlie in the Cgocolate Factory? No
A creative activity?
Rosie] Making something? No, but this could lead to a creative activity.
Are the animal connections human?
CdM - Person to person? Yes, essentially (other animals could be involved, and it could be argued that other animals do this, but this wouldn't be a useful line to explore.)
To do with communication?
ImNotJohn - To do with communication? In a broad sense, yes, but that's not how most people would classify this.
I Say, Porter! - Mime? *shakes head, frowns*
Is this an organisation of creative people?
Rosie - Is this an organisation of creative people? No
Is it a communicative medium?
Does it involve a specific subset of people?
Kim - Is it a communicative medium? Not entirely sure what you mean by that (and a quick Google doesn't help me). I think the answer is the same as to INJ's previous question.
ImNotJohn - Does it involve a specific subset of people? A specific instance of this would involve a specific subset of people, but in general, no.

Being completely pedantic, this can also be done with/to an inanimate object, so the definition should strictly be ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and possibly VEGETABLE and/or MINERAL connections, but this is another red herring.
Anything to do with sex?
Nudge, nudge.
Rosie - Anything to do with sex? *applause* Yes (though the answer (and the thing itself) are quite SFW).
Mostly to do with sex?
Phil - Mostly to do with sex? I don't see how you could quantify it, but there are a lot of sexual connotations, yes.
A dance?
I don't recognise "SFW". *shrugs* So f------ what.
[Rosie] Suitable for work
Flirting?
(Phil) Ah! Thanks. Now, what is this thing called work?.
Would a specific instance typically involve just two people?
[Rosie] Do you do a lot of flirting with inanimate objects, then? :-) (Excluding the trombone, of course.)
(CdM) Yes - the sax section. Woo! subversive.
Rosie - A dance, or flirting? No to both (though you might well do this while engaged in either).
Sorry about the jargon - I've seen people use 'NSFW' in Another Place, so I thought it would be understood (though I used it as 'Safe for Work')
CdM - Would a specific instance typically involve just two people? *applause* Yes
Eye contact?
Rosie - 'Oo you lookin' at? No
Does this involve physical contact?
'E 'it I, so I 'it 'e.
Rosie] A touching enquiry? *loud applause* Yes
A massage?
Phil - A massage? No
Hugging?
Rosie - Hugging? Closer, but no
Kissing?
Phil] Kissing? YES - X marks the spot! Over to Phil
In that case, your next problem to solve is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Shagging?
Worth a squirt.
[Rosie] I presume you mean chasing and catching fly balls in baseball practice? Anyway, whatever you meant: Shagging? NO!
Is the animal connection human?
An action?
(Phil) Of course. Precisely that. :-)
[INJ] Human? YES
[Rosie] An action? NO
Culturally specific?
[INJ] Relating to a certain group of people? YES
Only found in a particular part of the world?
[Irouléguy] One part of the world? NO
Is the group of people related by profession?
[INJ] related by profession? NO
Is there a religious connection?
Any artistic connection?
[Irouléguy] Religious connection? YES *tumultuous applause*
[INJ] Artistic? NO
Is the answer a religion/religious group/sect?
[CdM] Religion/religious group/sect? YES *more applause*
Is it gender specific?
[Inkspot] Gender specific? NO
Scientology?
[CdM] Scientology? NO
Christian?
[Rosie] Christian? YES, but not quite the word on the card *deafening applause, followed by a few disdainful grumbles*
Christianity?
[CdM] Christianity is the word on the card - congrats!
Wot, me again?
I think that the disdainful grumblers have a point, but in any case I'll accept the baton (which was manufactured from actual genuine pieces of the crown of thorns), and offer something

ABSTRACT and MINERAL/VEGETABLE (I think), with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections.
Something to do with the environment?
Not grumbling, for once.
Environmental? No. Not hereditary either.
Something to do with food?
Foody? The vegetable connection has something to do with food.
Begins with P?
A method of cooking?
Is it art?
Begins with P? It does, as a matter of fact, although I hadn't noticed until you asked.
Method of cooking? No.
Art? *audience laughter* Well, it depends on how broadly you define 'art', but I think the best answer is No.
Is the "p" followed by another consonant?
This is getting out of hand
Is the P followed by another consonant? Yes, several.


Oh, you mean immediately. No.
Is it a one word answer?
In a word? No.
Is the mineral/vegetable plastic?
Is the mineral/vegetable manufactured?
Plastic? In part (I think).
Manufactured? Yes.
(The "I think" is not any kind of trick answer; it simply reflects that I am having to take an educated guess at one aspect of the answer.)
Is it a two word answer?
Two words? No. I'll tell you for free (because I think it will be no help at all :-) ) that I vacillated between two different ways of expressing the thing on the card, one of which is six words long and does not begin with P, and on of which is shorter and does. I went for the latter.
All right, I'll be generous
It is three words including the definite article.
Passing the buck?
The deer don't stop here? No. *a scrap of applause that quickly dies away, followed by laughter, scattered applause, and much chattering*
Are both the Abstract and the Mineral/Vegetable descriptions of the same thing ?
Feeling a bit thick. Shut up at the back there.
Abstract and Mineral/Vegetable descriptions of the same thing? Yes. (Good question.)
Is the abstract meaning figurative? (E.g. the cat's whiskers)
Figurative? No. *more scattered applause, though*
Game-related?
Game related? No. *amused discussion in the audience*
Part of an animal?
Part of an animal? No.
Is this specific to a particular culture or country?
Culturally and geographically specific? Yes. I would associate it primarily (and perhaps exclusively) with one country.
Is that country the UK?
UK-based? Yes.
A dish (i.e an edible preparation)
Edible preparation? No.
Is the animal human?
This one's a bugger, innit?
Human? No.
Is the animal one particular species?
Animal = one particular species? Yes.
Is the animal emblematic?
Does this date from before 1500?
Emblematic? No. *some audience laughter*
Pre 1500? No.

A summary: This is ABSTRACT and MINERAL/VEGETABLE, with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections. The answer is three words, including a definite article, and begins with P immediately followed by a vowel. The abstract and mineral/vegetable are different descriptions of the same thing. The mineral/vegetable description is in part plastic (I think) and is manufactured. The abstract meaning is not figurative. The animal connection refers to one particular non-human species, and is not emblematic. The vegetable connection is connected to food but neither it, nor the overall answer, is a dish.

The answer is primarily or perhaps exclusively associated with the UK and dates from sometime after 1500. It is not art (except under a very broad definition), nor a method of cooking. It is not environmental, nor is it game-related.

Three questions provoked odd reactions from the audience, viz: "Passing the buck?", "Is it game-related?", and "Is the abstract meaning figurative? (E.g. the cat's whiskers)". The suggestions that it was art and that it was emblematic also provoked amusement.
The Pink Panther?
Pink Panther? No *considerable audience applause, nonetheless*
A fictional beast?
Going from the particular to the general.
Fictional beast? Yes. *applause*
Originally from a novel?
Once a novelty? No.
Twentieth century?
Twentieth Century? Yes.
A fearsome creature?
Originally from TV?
A fearsome creature? *audience laughter* No, not fearsome.
Once a novelTV? Yes. *applause*
Is the first word a name
Is there a question mark missing?
Parsley the Lion?
Parsley the Lion? Yes! *hands over garnished baton*
[CdM] Was your first thought "A very friendly lion called Parsley"?
[CdM] Oh well done, didn't see that coming.
Well, that was a surprisingly successfull de-lurk. Here's a plain old ABSTRACT
42?
The letter P?
Human construct?
[Raak] 42? NO
[Tuj] The letter P? NOPE (nor does it begin therewith)
[Rosie] A human construct? YES
Does it have to do with language?
[Raak] Hot tongue action? NO (except inasmuch as all answers in this game do)
Is it a philosophy?
Science-related?
[IS,P] That was indeed what I first planned to put on the card! I was amused by Irouléguy's early guess of "Passing the buck" because, even though it was completely wrong, it had the right opening syllable (at least in some accents), the right structure, and an animal as the last word.
Anything to do with sport?
CdM] Completely wrong but structurally similar - story of my life, really...
To do with the emotions?
[Phil] Osophy? NO is the best answer. * some applause *
[CdM] Sciencey-ness? NO, not really...
[Ig] Sport? NO
[Raak] Emotions? I GUESS SO.
Something to do with mental health?
Stoicism?
[Rosie] Mental health? NO, not specifically
[Raak] Stoicism? NO * scattered but uncertain applause *
In retrospect, maybe the is-it-a-philosophy guess should have had * sustained and enthusiastic applause*
Connected to a belief system?
[CdM] A belief system? YES is the least misleading answer *applause*
It isn't anarcho-syndicalism, is it?
Is this an attitude?
By that I mean such things as homophobia, racism, nationalism, patriotism and their like.
[Tuj] Anarcho-whatsit? NO *a few Anarcho-syndicalists in the audience take audible issue with this statement*
[Dujon] An attitude? NOT PER SE, but *some applause*
Is this specific to a culture or country?
[Ig] culture or country specific? There are defensible YES and NO answers. I think NO is probably more helpful.
Is there a specific person associated with it?
[Raak] Specific person associated? YES *applause*
Is it a one word answer?
Is this an -ism?
[Tuj] One word? NO
[Chalky] ism? NO
A cult of some kind?
[CdM] Reaching for one's Cult .44? NO
Is it a named law?
Is there a person's name in the answer?
[Raak] A named law? NO
[Phil] Nominated? NO
A religion?
[Phil] Religion? NO
Is it a theory of something?
[Raak] A theory? NOT AS SUCH, but for free I will mention it is theoretical. *applause*
An ideal?
[Phil] An ideal? YES! *some laughter and applause*
Is the associated person still alive?
"Slow food"?
[Phil] living person? NO - (it's actually associated with two people)
[Ig] Slow food? NO
Marx & Engels?
Are they Gilbert and Sullivan?
[Ig] Commies? NO
[Indian Pooh-Bah] GODDAMIT NO, I hate G&S.
Svengali and Trilby?
Has this anything to do with gay rights?
[Raak] Hypnotist and Hat? NO
[Chalky] Gay rights related? NO is the most helpful answer (altho it could have to do with it - but so could many other things).
Are the two people fictional?
[Phil] Fictional people? YES and NO
A fictional character, and the creator of that character?
[Raak] Fictional character? YES. Creator? NO.
To do with education?
Doest
Does the fictional character origina
Does the fictional character originate from the last century?
Sorry - work keeps getting in the way
[Phil] Education? TANGENTIALLY, but the most helpful answer is NO.
[Ig] C20th character? NO
RECAP
This thing is an ABSTRACT human construct. It is connected to philosophy but is not a philsophy per se. It is theoretical, but not a theory per se. It is connected with an attitude but is not an attitude per se. It is connected to a belief system, but is not a belief system per se. It is associated with two people, one of whom is fictional. The fictional character does not originate in the C20th. I originally said flatly that it was not connected to Science or Religion, but on further research, I find it is connected to both, tho not in a particularly famous way. Although it might be connected to many things (anarcho-syndicalists, for instance, might consider it connected to anarcho-syndicalism and gay rights campaigners might consider it connected to gay rights), it is not especially connected to mental health, sport or cults, is not an -ism, named after anyone or a law.
Oh, and it is an ideal.
Ooh, you've all gone quiet.
Does that mean I win? I'm off to Rome on Saturday, so hopefully someone will ask a breakthru question before then.
A field of study?
[Ig] Field of study? NO
To do with "rights", as opposed to specifics, such as "gay rights"?
[Phil] Rights? NOT IN PARTICULAR
Is the fictional character British?
[Phil] British? NO
Is the fictional character European?
Is the real person an actor? Playing the part of the non-fictional person?
[Ig] Character European? YES! *applause*
[Phil] Actor? NO (but think about it the other way around...)
I'm thinking, but nothing's happening :-(
Hamlet's soliloquy?
[Phil] Happiness is...? NO, but you're getting warmer.
Is the fictional person acfually mentioned in a work of fiction (as opposed to just being an imaginary person)?
Is the fictional character from Shakespeare?
[Phil] Person from a work of fiction? YES! *applause*
[Tuj] Bardish? NO
So, to clarify what I think I understand: the two associated people are (i) the author of a fictional work and (ii) a character in that work. However, the answer itself is neither the author, nor the character. Is that correct?
[CdM] The author? NO! *audience gasps*. A character? YES. The answer is neither? CORRECT.
I suppose you could associate it with the author, come to think of it, but I'm not sure that many people do. But I may be wrong in that, so if it helps you to consider that it's associated with three people, then plz do so...
Fiction from pre 1000AD/CE?
[Phil] Pre-1000CE? NO
Man and Superman
[INJ] Clark Kent and alter ego? NO
Pre 20th century fictional character?
[Phil] Pre-C20th, YES *applause*
Is anyone ready for a clue?
I think I'm about ready, as my train of thought seems to be stuck for eternity at Clapham.
a clue
By far the most significant fact about The Answer so far revealed is that it is "an ideal".
Oh drat - that's the fact that's confusing all my other thoughts. Better sleep on this one then.
Brave New World?
[CdM] Miranda Huxley? NO
PS. [Phil] Bear in mind that there is more than one meaning for the word "ideal"...
A Platonic ideal?
[Raak] Perfectly Plato? NO
Hmm....Is/was the real person a writer?
My Greek O-level already reminded me of that :-)
OOPS!!! That was me, not Projoy, sorry!
[Projoy, er Phil] A writer? YES
Is it associated with a psychological condition?
doo-de-doo, third week of this clue
[INJ] Psychological condition? NO

Another recap: This ABSTRACT - which could be called "an ideal" - is associated with two people: a European (non-British) fictional character from the period 1000-1900CE and a real person (from the same period), who was a writer. It could also be associated with the author (also from the same period) who created the fictional character, who is not the same person as the real-person-writer, and is not Shakespeare, Gilbert, Sullivan, Marx nor Engels. There is a strong philosophy connection, altho it is not "a philosophy" per se, nor "an attitude" nor "a belief system", but is connected to these ideas. There are also science and religion connections. It is not a law, stoicism, eponymous, a platonic ideal, to do with sport, anarcho-syndicalism, a psychological condition, a cult, a method of cooking, a field of study, Man and Superman, "Brave New World" nor to do with education. It could be argued that it is country/culture specific, but also that it isn't (I think no is the most helpful answer).

Anarcho-syndicalists would associate The Answer with Anarcho-syndicalism. Gay rights campaigners would associate it with gay rights.
Man and Superman?
[Chalky] M&S? NO, see my reply to INJ. Not Nietzsche, Shaw or Siegel and Shuster.
Anything to do with utopia?
[Raak] Utopia? VERY NEARLY!! *tumultuous applause*
The Lost World?
[INJ] Lost world? NO *some applause*
Nirvana?
[Phil] Nirvana? NO *audience muttering about Europe*
Communism?
Bit of a wild stab in the dark, this one.
[nights] Communism? NO, though a Communist would disagree.
Is this anything to do with fascism or ethnic purity?
Is the answer the title /author of a book?
sorry if this has already been askeded
Eutopia?
Were the ideas of this author reflected in the work of Bunyon's Pilgrim's Progress, though the latter was far more 'religious'?
[Chalky] Fascism/Ethnic Purity? NO (altho Fascists and ethnic puritans would disagree)
[Chalky] Title/author? NO
[Phil] Eutopia? NO, but that is arguably a closer guess than "Utopia" *a huge oooooh of approval from the audience*
[Dujon] Were the ideas...? I haven't read/studied Bunyan, but going by Wikipedia's description of PP, I would be inclined to say NO.
"The best of all possible worlds"?
Metaphysico-theologico-cosmolonigology?
Is the fiction 19th century?
[Phil] C19th, NO
[Raak] All that jazz? NO, for
[Irouléguy] YES!!. The very words on the card. I must admit I didn't read the Wikipedia entry on Leibniz before setting the clue, so didn't realise in time that the idea had such a close relationship with science and theology in its initial incarnation, having first heard of it via Voltaire's Dr Pangloss.
Congrats, Irouléguy. I'd never have got that, as I'd never heard of it, alas, and my web-trawling didn't lead me anywhere near it :-(
Thanks, Phil - and well done Projoy - that must be a record! I can't claim any great web-trawling skills, it just came to me. I think I did the play in French A level *cough* years ago, but I didn't know of the connections with Leibniz.

Well, our next should be a short one, so here goes - it's ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and MINERAL with ANIMAL connections.
Is it fictional?
[Ig] Not sure what took so long on that one, altho there did seem to be a bit of a lack of deductive questions in the middle stages. [Phil] Well, there you go, and I was convinced, Candide aside, that it was an everyday expression...
Is the animal connection human?
[Projoy] At least I've learn a new word ('theodicy'). Tangentially; I'm a bit concerned about where the "all" comes from in a translation of the French "le meilleur des mondes possibles", but I don't think it changes the meaning enough for me to lose sleep over, and I'm sure it's been discussed to death over the last 293 years already. That was a criticism of whoever translated it, not you, btw.
The seed that fell on stony ground?
Projoy - Is it fictional? No
I thought it was an everyday expression too, but I just twigged it from your answer to 'Utopia' and the European connection.

Phil - Is the animal connection human? Yes
I thought 'theodicy' was Homer's follow-up...

Raak - The seed that fell on stony ground? No
Raak] If that was a prediction rather than a guess, then you may be right.
Is the vegetable wood?
Projoy - Is the vegetable wood? Yes, but there are other vegetables/vegetable products also involved.
Is any of it edible?
Raak - Filling your face? What it's made of isn't edible, but there are edibles in it.
Is paper involved?
Raak - Is paper involved? There's paper in it.
Is it a place?
Chalky - Is it a place? *the audience awakes cheering* Yes.
Fictional?
[Raak] Fictional? NO. See Ig's answer to me, above. :)
Is it larger than a town?
The Natural History Museum?
Projoy - Is it larger than a town? *applause* Than some towns, yes...
Team-hosting - I like it!
I Say, Porter! - The Natural History Museum? No
An island?
Is it a country?
Is it man-made?
Apologies for my long absence - back at the keyboard now.
Projoy - An island? No
Tuj - Is it a country? No
Raak - Is it man-made? Yes
A building?
Does it still exist?
Projoy - A building? No
Raak - Does it still exist? Yes
A defined municipal area?
Projoy - A defined municipal area? *collective "oooh" from the audience, mixed with the occasional muttered "cleverclogs" A most precise definition of the class of things to which this particular belongs.
In England?
A green belt?
Projoy - In England? No
Raak - A green belt? No

Coincidentally
In the UK?
Does it begin with P?
Projoy - In the UK? Yes
Tuj - Does it begin with P? No
A single specific named area?
ImNotJohn - A single specific named area? Yes

In case it wasn't clear, the answer to Projoy's "defined municipal area" was an emphatic "yes".
Is it a place where things are sold?
Scotland?
Raak - Is it a place where things are sold? Things are sold in this place.
Projoy - Scotland? OCH AYE
The Gorbals?
ImNotJohn - The Gorbals? No
The Toy Parliament?
A current administrative division?
+ <i>
Raak - Wholly rude about Holyrood? No
Projoy - A current administrative division? Yes
+ </i>
Does it incorporate any islands?
Does it incorporate any mainland?
Does it fall entirely within another defined municipal area?
Projoy - Does it incorporate any islands? No
CdM - Does it incorporate any mainland? ;) It's on the mainland of Scotland
ImNotJohn - Does it fall entirely within another defined municipal area? No
Is "shire" anywhere in the name of it?
Does it have historical significance?
Projoy - Tolkein connections? No
CdM - Does it have historical significance? *applause* Yes
Culloden?
CdM - Culled? No
Stirling?
Does it have the word "and" anywhere in its name?
Phil - On the money? No
Projoy - Does it have the word "and" anywhere in its name? *applause* Yes
The Highlands?
(Couldn't resist)
Dumfries and Galloway?
CdM - The Highlands? *applause* No
(Couldn't resist) That's a little harsh - 1314, 1715, 1745?
Projoy - Dumfries and Galloway? No

CdM is both conceptually and geographically closer
Perth and Kinross?
Ross and Cromarty?
(Although that does contain a few islands)
But and Ben?
[Raak] Flobble obble obble! Weeeeed!
I take it that's a nobbleobble.
Projoy - Perth and Kinross? No
ImNotJohn - Ross and Cromarty? No
Raak - But and Ben? No
I Say, Porter! - [Raak] Flobble obble obble! Weeeeed! Thank you, but I've given up

People should look again at the various meanings of 'municipal', and at CdM's last question.
Callander?
Aye Janet.
So is this thing not "a settlement which has the status and powers of a unit of local government." (Wikipedia)?
ImNotJohn - Callander? Nae, Doctor
Projoy - So is this thing not "a settlement which has the status and powers of a unit of local government." (Wikipedia)? Yes, it is - most of the previous answers didn't fit that definition, hence my reminder.
Is it uninhabited?
Yes, it is not, or yes, it actually is? :-)
If it is a municipal area, and it is a current municipal area, and if it is not incorporated wholly in any other municipal area, is it, in fact a unitary authority of Scotland?
Raak - Is it uninhabited? No
Projoy - Yes, it is not, or yes, it actually is? :-) Yes, it actually is

*deep breath* It is a current municipal area, not incorporated wholly in any other municipal area, but it is not a unitary authority.
Is it a parliamentary constituency (for either parliament)?
Is it a London Borough?
Projoy] Is it a parliamentary constituency (for either parliament)? No - though I'll throw in as a clue that the names of the two constituencies (one in each parliament) that this is located in consist of the same three words, but not in the same order.
nights] Is it a London Borough? Barking & Dagenham up the wrong tree - it's in Scotland

And so to bed.
Presumably this thing also crosses a unitary authority boundary?
Projoy - Presumably this thing also crosses a unitary authority boundary? No

Time for a recap? This is a place in Scotland, a defined municipal area, wholly on the Scottish mainland, not falling within another defined municipal area, which is a current administrative division. It is larger than some towns (a question which reaped applause). It has historical significance, and the word 'and' in its name. It could also be defined as "a settlement which has the status and powers of a unit of local government." It is not a constituency (for either parliament), nor is it a unitary authority, and it falls wholly within a unitary authority. Most of the specific wrong guesses have been neither settlements nor municipal areas (though the Highlands got applause despite being neither). It is not Callander, Culloden or Stirling.

Are we working on different definitions of 'municipal'? My dictionary gives "of or pertaining to a town, city or burgh", and I'm using it as a synonym for 'urban' here. Apologies if different definitions have caused confusion.
The Balmoral Estate?
I feel that "falling wholly within a unitary authority" contradicts "not falling within another defined municipal area" (taking "municipal" to refer very specifically to local government, as per Wikipedia), but the clarification helps!
Aberdeen?
PS. I'm not sure what else in Scotland has "the status and powers of a unit of local government" other than unitary authorities (except the very small community councils), but I guess we can argue about it after the answer is revealed. :)
St Andrews?
Projoy - The Balmoral Estate? No
I feel that "falling wholly within a unitary authority" contradicts "not falling within another defined municipal area" (taking "municipal" to refer very specifically to local government, as per Wikipedia), but the clarification helps!
Sorry for the confusion- the dictionary I was using equated municipal with urban, but looking around Wikipedia that seems to be less than universal (though Wikipedia also has contradictory definitions of what exactly this place's status is).

Projoy - Aberdeen? No (but *applause* for part of your PS) On further inspection, the answer to "a settlement which has the status and powers of a unit of local government" should have been "settlement" YES "status" UMM "powers" NOT REALLY, NO, UNLESS YOU COUNT ORGANISING BANDSTAND CONCERTS AND A FLORAL COMPETITION.

CdM] St Andrews Yes - a hole in one! Well lurked, sir. Let me hand over this mashie-shaped baton while I prepare to debate the precise nature of Scottish local government after the 1973 settlement.
Heh. Well, I guess it does have a Community Council (According to Wikipedia and the BBC, tho, the two parliamentary constituencies are exactly identically named - however, the two sources disagree about the exact syntax of the name!). Ah well...
Who are you calling a lurker? I asked five questions, until I got stuck on (a) the same problem that confused Projoy and (b) the differing constituency names. My guess of the Highlands was intended as a joke; at that time I was just assuming the answer was of the A and B variety. Anyway
This is Mainly Mineral and Vegetable.
A geographical feature?
Is it unique?
Geographical feature? No is the best answer.
Unique? Yes.
(You could also make a case that this is ABSTRACT, by the way, but I think that is less helpful.)
Is it a piece of countryside?
Is it man-made?
Does it begin with P?
Countryside? No.
Man-made? Yes.
Begins with P? The answer to that question begins with N.
One or more buildings?
One or more buildings? Yes, the mainly mineral part refers to one or more buildings. *applause*
(More precisely, the mainly mineral part mainly refers to one or more buildings. Mainly.)
Does it (physically) exist?
Physical existence? Yes.
The vegetable component - is that the building's contents?
Projoy] Sorry about the constituency names - I got that from the Wiki page on St Andrews itself. The parliaments' official pages do have the same name. I really should know better than to trust Wiki...
CdM] Good questions they were too - sorry about the lurker crack. The applause for the Highlands was meant to acknowledge that your joke was on target.
Was it established in the last 100 years?
I think this one will fall fast
Vegetable component = building's or buildings' contents? Yes. *applause*
Established in last 100 years? No.
Is this edifice and contents a museum?
Is it a university?
Spitalfields market?
Kew Gardens?
In the UK?
Museum? No. * a smattering of applause, none the less*
A university? No.
Spitalfields? No.
Q? No, 007.
Inuk? No.
Open to the general public? (with or without a fee)
Houses of Parliament?
It its purpose to display the vegetable matter?
s/It/Is
Is it in Europe?
Open to Public? Yes.
HoP? No.
Purposeful veggie display? No. *some applause accompanied by some whispered debate*
In Europe? No.
Is the vegetable matter inside it by design?
Vegetable matter by design? Yes.
Is it in the U.S.A?
Does your definition of 'Europe' exclude the U.K.?
Inus? Yes.
Does my definition of 'Europe' exclude the U.K.? Of course it doesn't! Does your definition of 'Australasia' exclude Australia? :-)
A park or public garden?
Park or Public Garden? No. This may be a time to, as INJ often exhorts, examine your assumptions.
Do the buildings have roofs?
Is the vegetable matter alive?
Do the buildings have roofs? Yes. *laughter*
Living vegetables? No.
A church or other religious building?
Godhouse? No. *some chattering and laughter in the audience from people who know Néa*
Is it Botanical gardens?
In North America?
Is this a group of buildings mainly with a single purpose?
(I suppose that's really two questions)
Hershey's Chocolate Factory?
Nobody listens to CdM
Botanical gardens? No. (See non-living vegetable matter)
North America? Yes. (See in the USA, above)
Group of buildings mainly with simple purpose? Yes. *applause*
Willy Wonka? No.
Is the answer the name of a distinct metropolitan area?
Is the vegetable mostly wood?
Is the vegetable matter intended to be consumed in some form?
Wall Street?
The White House?
Metropolis? No.
Mostly wood? Yes. *applause with that subtle timbre that indicates relief*
Vegetable intended for consumption? No, at least for the standard narrow meaning of 'consumption' (see 'wood', above)
Wall Street? No.
The White House? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
A government building?
The Bridges of Madison County?
Government building? Yes.
Bridges of Madison County? No.
The Supreme Court?
Supreme Court? No.
Is it in New York?
In New York? No.
In DC?
Did you know you'd changed INJ's "single purpose" to "simple purpose" in your answer?
In DC? Yes.
Was I aware of my typo? No. The group of buildings mainly has a single purpose, and I suppose you could say that purpose is pretty simple as well.
Camp david?
The Library of Congress?
Camp David? No.
Library of Congress? YES! One baton duly recorded and put into storage. Projoy can have this stick instead.
OK. VEGETABLE (+ some MINERAL), or ABSTRACT
The Woodentops?
I feel thick after not knowing anything about 2 of the last 3 answers :-(
Vegetable in its natural state, eg a forest, meadow etc?
[Phil] The most stupid, boring programme ever made? NO
[Rosie] Natural state? NO
Is it unique?
Printed paper conveying ideas?
[Quendalon] Unique? The best answer from my research is NO.
[Raak] Printed paper conveying ideas? YES
An Abstract?
A book?
Does it have a single author?
[Rosie] An abstract? NO, not in that sense.
[Raak] A book? YES! *applause*
[Quen] One author? YES.
(NB. just for simplicity, I'm going to take my facts for this round from Wikipedia)
Fiction?
[Raak] Fiction? NO (some laughter)
Is this a biography of some kind?
A reference book?
[Duj] Biography? NO
[Phil] Reference? I would say YEEES.
Magna Carta?
A record of the proceedings of some body?
[Rosie] Poor Hungarian Peasant Girl? NO
[Raak] Proceedings of a body? NO *much audience laughter*
Encyclopaedia Morningtonia?
Available on Amazon?
Originally written in English?
Religious in nature?
[Kim] E.M.? N.O.
[Raak] Amazonian? YES
[INJ] English orginally? NO
[Q] Religious? YES
Originally written in a south Asian language?
To do with Islam?
Christian?
[Ig] South Asian? YES
[irach] Mecca-noid? NO
[Phil] Crucials? NO
The Mahabharata?
What a great Channel 4 series that was.
The Lotus Sutra?
[Phil] Mahabarata? NO *applause*
[Raak] Lotus Sutra? NO *sustained applause*
Does the answer have the form "The [X] Sutra"?
The Kama Sutra?
Lurking shamelessly
He who lurketh laugheth lenthily
[Ig] A hole in one! As it were. It is The Kama Sutra. * hands over slightly suggestive-looking baton*
Stolen from under Raak's nose, for which apologies. Our next is ABSTRACT with MINERAL and ANIMAL connections.
Shagging?
Going with the flow. Not too sure about the connections, though.
Rosie - Shagging? *sardonic laughter* No

The KS does illustrate most possible permutations of connections...
Is it a human construct?
Standard opening.
Does it begin with a 'T'?
A recording?
[Projoy] I'd just like to say how much I'm enjoying re-reading your "YEEES" answer to my "reference book" question.
Anything to do with death?
Kim - Is it a human construct? Yes
Chalky - Quick cuppa? No
Phil - A recording? No
Projoy - Anything to do with death? *applause* Yes, though not directly.
A religious idea?
An addiction?
Is it fictional?
[Chalky] Eh? You do have some funny ideas.
Projoy - A religious idea? Religiously derived, yes
Dujon - An addiction? No
Tuj - Is it fictional? *animated discussion among audience* Part of it (hopefully) is fictional.
- Eh? You do have some funny ideas.*applause*

I should say that the mineral bit of the definition is slightly tongue-in-cheek, and a dead end as an avenue of enquiry.
Tithing?
Is it an old idea, now largely ignored?
Does it pertain to a specific religion
?
Projoy - Tithing? No
Rosie - Is it an old idea, now largely ignored? It is an old idea (though I can't find any dating for it). The best answer for "largely ignored" is that it's not applicable.
Kim - Does it pertain to a specific religion? No
The Golden Rule?
Raak - Whoever has the gold, makes the rules? No

Amplifying the answer to Kim's previous question: the religious reference in the answer is common to many religions, but this would have originated as a reference to one particular religion.
To do with the afterlife?
Projoy - To do with the afterlife? Yes
From a Middle Eastern originated religion?
To do with some kind of underworld?
Re-incarnation?
Projoy - From a Middle Eastern originated religion? Yes
Tuj - To do with some kind of underworld? *scattered applause* in some religions, yes (though not the originating one).
Rosie - Re-incarnation? No
Purgatory?
Croydon on a Saturday afternoon.
Limbo?
A Christian idea?
Rosie - Purgatory? No
Phil - Dancing? No
Projoy - A Christian idea?*applause* Yes (though not exclusively - as above)
Hell?
Rosie - Hell? *applause* Damned right! 'Hell' is one of the five words in the answer
A snowball in Hell/?
A snowball in Hell's Chance?
... I meant. Altho I don't suppose there's any likelihood that's the answer.
Projoy - A snowball in Hell's Chance? *loud applause - the audience sit bolt upright awaiting the next move* Sooo close - but not the exact words on the card
A cat in hell's chance?
The day hell freezes over?
A cold day in hell?
And the next move it is - "a cat in hell's chance" being the exact words on the card. One kitten now passed over to Projoy.
ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
Is it, or does it contain, an entire ecosystem?
Animal human?
[Quen] Entire ecosystem? NO
[Rosie] Animal human? NO
Culinary in nature?
[Quen] Culinary? YES.
A dish, served hot? (both)
Is the mineral component substantial (i.e., more than a pinch of salt)?
[Rosie] A dish? YEEES. Served hot? NO
[CdM] Mineral substantial? NO
Food for humans?
[Raak] Human beans? YES
Is it traditionally a starter?
[Phil] A starter? NO
Made from a specific animal?
It is traditionally a dessert?
[Ig] specific animal? YES, altho check your assumptions
[Kim] A dessert? YEEEES, but see answer re: dish. In fact in retrospect, NO would be a better answer to the dish question.
Lemon curd?
[Q] Citric Spread? NO
Whipped cream?
[GIII] No, thank you.
A sauce?
Lassi?
[Q] Saucy? NO
[Raak] Come Home? NO
Is it revenge?
[Kim] Revenge? NO (remember that the answer to "is it a dish?" has been revised to NO...)
Is it liquid?
Does it contain an animal 'product'?
Would it be eaten at a specific time of year?
[Raak] Liquid? NO
[Chalky] Animal product? YES
[Tuj] Specific time of year? NO
Does it contain alcohol?
Does it taste sweet rather than savoury?
Contains Dairy Produce?
[Q] Booze? NO
[Chalky] Sweet? YES
[INJ] Dairy? YES
Does its preparation require cooking?
[Q] I would say YES, but that's a broadly worded question.
Is it a dressing?
[Rosie] Dressing? NO
Is milk the animal product?
[Chalky] Got milk? YES!
Rice pudding?
[Rpsie] Lovely rice pudding for dinner again? NO (remember that the answer to "is it a dish?" has been revised to NO...)
Cheese?
Are we using the standard definition of cooking: 'preparing food by a process which includes the application of heat to it' - or the bachelor definition 'any part of meal preparation, including looking up the phone number of the local pizza delivery'?
Yoghurt?
[INJ] Cheese? NO (this is sweet, not savoury, as per Chalky's question)
Is it 'cooked' by the standard definition of cooking? YES, but be careful with your assumptions. It was a very broadly phrased question.
[Kim] Yoghurt? NO
*recalls that there is such a thing as sweet cheese and apologises to INJ*
Custard?
[Custard] Graham III? NO
Milkshake?
Milk Chocolate?
[Kim] Milkshake? NO
[Chalky] Milk Chocolate? *tumultuous applause* The Answer does indeed contain milk chocolate (but The Answer does not contain the words "milk chocolate")
Angel Delight (milk choccy version)
Hoping it doesn't count as a dish.
Is it a pudding of any sort?
Walnut Whip? [teehee]
An after dinner mint?
[Rosie] Angel Delight? NO (don't forget I only said Yeeees to "dessert", not "YES!")
[Q] Pudding on the Ritz? NO
[Chalky] Walnut Whip? NO *strongly supportive applause*
[Dujon] After Dinner Mint? NO
Is it ever eaten on its own, not as a part of a meal?
Mocha?
Is it an item of confectionery?
[Rosie] Eaten on its own? CERTAINLY
[irach] Mocha? NO
[Phil] Confectionery? YES! *applause*
(and I've just looked up dessert in Wiktionary, and realised that this basically isn't one, so sorry about that)
Does the answer involve a brand name?
[Raak] Brand name? YES! *applause*
Creme Egg (yum)
[Phil] Creme Egg? NO *exactly the same amount of applause as for Walnut Whip*
A Mars bar?
[Raak] Mars Bar? NO
A bar of chocolate as opposed to a box of sweets?
A Cadbury's Flake?
Does it begin with P?
Is it crunchy?
Made by Cadbury's?
[Rosie] Bar? NO
[Ig] Flake? NO
[Tuj] Begins with P? NO *smattering of applause*
[Chalky] Crunchy? NOT REALLY
[Phil] Cadbury? NO
A Hershey Bar?
May they rot in hell for inventing such an insult to chocolate.
Oh bumbags, it's not a chocolate bar - scratch my last question please :-)
Made by Nestlé?
[Phil] Hershey Bar? NO *some applause, all the same*
[Phil] Formula pushers? NO
A Tim Tam?
[Chalky] Coffee straw? NO
It's got to be Nestlé Power Bar? Shurely
If not that brand - is it a Nestlé product?
MilKy Bar?
A British confectionery?
[Chalky] It's not Nestlé
M&Ms?
Thanks Phil. Missed your question.
[irach] M & M's - are they not 'crunchy'?
[Phil] British? NO! *audience gasps, several ladies faint*
[irach] eminems? NO *and yet, a faint stirring in the audience as if they sensed a connection with The Answer, yet it is too obscure to express in more than a sigh*
MMM...Maltesers?
[Ig] The lighter way...? NO
Is this product made by Mars, Cadbury, Nestle or Hershey?
Think we need to eliminate
Is it a European manufacturer?
Hershey's Kisses?
[Chalky] Is it one of those manufacturers? Strictly, YES, but beware.
[Chalky] European? NO
[irach] Hershey's Kisses? NO *some applause*
(please also note that previous questions have ruled out Cadbury and Nestlé)
Rolo?
strike that. It's a Nestlé product.
Almond Joy?
Hershey's Bites?
[Chalky] The joy of the almond? NO
[Chalky] Hershey's bites? NO
Hershey's pops?
I'm getting bored now
[Chalky] Hershey's Pops? NO (I fear you did not heed my "beware" on your manufacturer question!)
Hint to avoid boredom: ask more deductive questions and stop making wild guesses :-P
A seasonal confection?
An M&M/Mars product? Like Minstrels, say?
Wild guesses? I was riding on the applause meted out to Hershy-ness answers.
[irach] Seasonal? NO
[Chalky] Mars manufactured? NO, which as you so rightly say leaves Hershey revealed as the manufacturer. But again, I say beware. :)
Is the brand name in the answer "Hershey" (or "Hershey's")?
Does this involve chocolate chips?
Is it solid (i.e. does not flow, wobble, or ooze, even if cut open)?
[Phil] Is "Hershey" in the answer? NO *more audience gasps*
[irach] Chips with everything? NO
[Raak] Solid? YES
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
[Chalky] YAY! It is indeed A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. One baton filled with peanut goop handed over.
*sighs* Oh well, as wikipedia says "possibly one of Hershey's best-known products due to long-running massive advertising campaigns". Another never-heard-of one for me. Still, I shan't give up!
(Phil) Me neither.
Ey?
What in the world is a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup? Having read Phil's Wikipedia extract I am just as in the dark as would be a chocolate coated peanut. Yes I could, but no I won't, go a-Googling.
*went a-googling*
Phew! Thanks PJ for a challenging, yet somehow obvious, little puzzle [ie; not obviously Hershey, not a bar, not crunchy]. Having put SO much effort into it, I feel pleased to have finally nailed it :-)

Next up:

A N I M A L / A B S T R A C T

Animal instinct?
A symbolic animal?
[irach] Animal instinct? NO
[Raak] A symbolic animal? NO
Something I'm likely to have heard of?
Is the animal human?
[Phil] Something you're likely to have heard of? YES :-)
[irach] Is the animal human? YES
Fictional?
Male?
Alive (if not fictional)?
[Raak] Fictional? YES
[Projoy] Male? YES
[Phil] as above
Originally from a novel?
A young person?
[Irouléguy] Originally from a novel? YES
[Rosers] A young person? YES is probably the most useful answer.
A novel from before 1950?
Do some or all of the words on the card appear in the title of the novel?
[Reese's] Have none of you ever watched E.T.? (OK, it's not exactly the same product, but it is close.)
[Reese's] They are on sale in the UK now, too. You can get 'em in my local corner shop, and very nice they are too.
Dorian Gray?
Has the character appeared in film?
Is/was the novelist English?
[CdM] I've only seen the re-release in 2000 (or whenever it was), and only because my children insisted. I didn't pay attention though.
[Projoy] A novel from before 1950? NO
[CdM] Do some or all of the words on the card appear in the title of the novel? NO . But despite the negative answer the * audience applauses* because it was a significant question.
[Kim} Picture in the Attic? NO
[Raak] Has the character appeared in film? YES
[Irouléguy] Is/was the novelist English? NO
CORRECTION! [PJ] A novel before 1950? YES YES YES
sorry chaps - schoolgirl typing error
Is/was the author (and indeed his character) French?
A novel before 1900?
Is/was the novelist British?
[Dujon] Is/was the author [and character] French? YES!
[Projoy] A novel before 1900? YES
[Phil] British? NO
Is the author Dumas?
American author?
[Graham III] Dumas? YES *hoorah hoorahs from a very lively audience*
[Projoy] American? Nah
I am now out and about for a couple of hours and will not have access to the 'net tomorrow - so keep 'em coming. We can wrap this up by mid-afternoon.
D'Artagnan?
Oops. Didn't read previous answer re: nationality of author
Porthos?
'The Man in the iron Mask'?
All "Three Musketeers"- like the candy bar?
Edmond Dantès?
The Count of Monte Cristo?
Sorry - got delayed
[Irouléguy] Porthos? NO
[I'mNotJohn] The Man In The Iron Mask? NO
[irach] All 3 Musketeers? NO
[Graham III] The Count of MOnte Cristo? NO .. but .. * mega-cheering from audience* because ...

[Raak] Edmond Dantès? HAS GOT THE ANSWER ON THE CARD!

Chalké passés le baton to Raak.
Free at last! Drat, I've only tunnelled into another cell. This one is VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.
Is it edible?
Not edible.
Is it wood?
Yes, it's wood.
Is it Norwegian?
[CdM] No reason it couldn't be, but not specifically. (Norwegian?) Not a Christmas tree either.
Is it alive?
Not alive.
Is it a specific (one-off) article?
Is it a carving/sculpture?
[INJ] Not a specific article.
[Phil] *murmuring in the audience* Mm...no. Not a carving or sculpture.
Is it the cross on which Jesus was crucified?
[Raak, Chalky] Whoops, forgot they were the same person...!
Does it resemble its original form (i.e. looks like, or rather like it did when it was alive?)
[G III] Not the Cross.
[Projoy] Does not resemble its original form.
Has the wood been chopped/mash/shredded/generally bashed around to achieve its current state?
[Chalky] The wood is undistressed.
[Projoy, clarification] That is, it is not a tree.
An outdoors object?
Assuming being sawn, planed etc does not cause distress.
[Rosie] Not an outdoors object.
So it has no bark?
[Projoy] No bark. Wood, processed from its original state in the tree, but not in the destructive and ham-handed ways mentioned by Chalky.
Has it been carved?
Would this have been created by a carpenter or cabinet maker?
As opposed to an artist or lumber merchant.
Is this specific to a particular country or culture?
[Phil] Not carved.
[Dujon]The audience murmurs at one of those words. Taking that as four questions: no, possibly, possibly, and no. (I had to look up Wikipedia to find out what a carpenter was, more precisely than someone who works in some way with wood.)
[I] Not very specific.
Is it created in order to contain something?
[Projoy] Does not contain anything.
Is it a part of something?
Has the wood been 'turned'?
[I] Complete in itself.
[Chalky] The wood has been turned.
Ornamental and decorative?
Is there symbolism attached to this turned wooden item?
[Chalky] Not ornamental or decorative.
[Phil] Not symbolic.
[Phil, re "carved'] Actually, carving might have a part to play in its creation.
Found in the home?
Used in a game?
[Phil] It can be found in some homes.
[I] Not used in a game.
Is it smaller than a telephone box [the proper red one]?
[Chalky] Smaller than a telephone box.
Is it essentially long & thin?
Defined as more than 3 times as long in one dimension than in either of the other two.
P.S. Where's Tuj, we don't know this object's initial P-ness?
Can you put something on it?
[INJ] It could be long and thin, but not esentially so.
[Chalky] You can put something on it. *sounds of demurral from the audience, whereupon the chairman produces one and demonstrates putting something on it. "Aha", say the audience.*
Does it have a primary specific function?
Is it larger than a toaster?
[CdM] It has a primary specific function.
[Chalky] It can be larger than a toaster.
A rolling pin?
[Rosie] Not a rolling pin.
A wooden alarm clock?
[CdM] Brrthbbthb? No.
There is actually a smidgen of Mineral in this, but it's primarily Vegetable.
Aah .. NOW you tell us :-)
Does it frame something?
[Chalky] Not a frame.
Is this a tool?
Is it a kitchen utensil?
A mug tree?
[Chalky] It performs a function, but it wouldn't ordinarily be called a tool.
[ " ] Not a kitchen utensil.
[Projoy] Not a mug tree.
Is this a prosthesis?
[Dujon] Not a prosthesis.
Is its cross-section circular for its entire length?
A board of some kind?
[Phil] Not wholly circular.
[Rosie] Not a board.
Is it typically used in conjunction with some other object?
[CdM] Yes. Various other objects.
Could you buy one in a depaertment store?
[Phil] What's with the posh accent?
[Phil] It's not the first place I'd look, but you might find one thaere.
Could you buy one in a haerdwaer store?
Is it a hatstand?
Is the mineral element nails? Or screws? or Glue?
[CdM] Not found in a hardware store.
[G III] Not a hatstand?
[ " ] Could be nails; wouldn't be screws or glue.
Are most of us likely to have one (or more than one)?
Is it a piece of furniture?
[Cdm} That's how it's spelt in Flemish.
[I] Most of us are unlikely to have one. I have one, though.
[R] Not furniture.
Does it have any moving parts?
An abacus?
[Q] It has moving parts.
[CdM] Not an abacus.
Is it a descant, treble, tenor, alto or bass recorder?
Or even a Sopranino?
Is it a type of flute?
{Chalky] Not a wind instrument of any sort.
Is it a musical instrument?
[Phil] Not a musical instrument of any sort.
Is it used in sport?
[Phil] Not used in sport.
Are the nails that could be present used simply to join pieces of wood together, or do they serve some other function?
(The only way in to this problem that I am seeing right now is the odd notion that this could include nails but not screws.)
Does one have to 'hold' this thing in order for it to function?
[CdM] The nails (or other fasteners) hold it together.
[Chalky] Hm...part of its function requires handling it, part requires not handling it.
Does it have a handle?
Have these been around since before 1900?
[CdM] No handle.
[Projoy] I don't know, but I think it's very likely to have been around since before 1900.
Are they or could they ever be made of something other than wood?
A wooden arras?
[Hi CdM - seems like we're posting at the same time. Have to confess, I'm fascinated by this particular puzzle, but have to go out in half an hour so will miss any activity this afternoon].
Is it customarily of European origin?
[CdM] They could be made of other things, but I've never come across them made of anything but wood.
[Chalky] Not a wooden arras.
[Phil] Yes, European.
*going off on one, like she does*
C'mon Raak. Does this audience have a pulse? Or does it merely murmur at the question of carpenter v cabinet maker and then 15 hours later summon up the energy to demur at the notion that something 'could be put on top' of this thing? Hey, I know you're a cool dude an' all that, but please - can we have a bit of encouragement, or even a clue? :-)
Time for a precis I think:

It is or does:

made of wood
undistressed
possibly created by a cabinet maker or artist (audience murmurs)
complete in itself
turned wood
found in some homes
smaller than a telephone box
possibly long and thin but not essentially so
able to have put something on it
has a primary specific function
can be larger than a toaster
used in conjunction with various other objects
have moving parts
does have mineral fasteners to hold it together, but these are not screws or glues
require handling as part of its function (CARE - see also the 'not' section)
very likely to have been around prior to 1900 AD
possible that this could be made of material other than wood, but the Chairman has not seen such
European

It is not or does not:

edible
alive
specific (one-off) article
carving or sculpture (though audience reacts)
the Calvary cross
resemble its original form
an outdoor object
retain bark
carved (though might have a part to play in its creation)
specific to a country or culture
contain anything
ornamental or decorative
symbolic
used in a game
a toaster
a rolling pin
a wooden alarm clock
normally purchased in a department store (though one might)
found in a hardware store
a hatstand
something that most people would have, though the Chairman is blessed
a piece of furniture
a frame
a tool (despite it performing a function)
a kitchen utensil
a mug tree
a prothesis
wholly circular
a board
a musical instrument of any sort
used in sport
requires not handling it as part of its function (CARE - see also the 'is' section)
have a handle
a wooden arras

NOTE: Ruddy 'eck that's long. Please forgive me if I've missed something.
Raak, you might run your eye over it in case I've misinterpreted anything. Ta.
Sorry, CdM
Nor is it an abacus
[Dujon] I think you left out a "not" -- this is something that most people would not have, although I do.
Is its purpose connected with art?
[Projoy] *cheering in the aisles* Yes, connected with art.
An easel?
[Projoy] Not an easel.
An artists palette?
(For Projoys sake, Im leaving it unclear if Im talking about one or multiple artists.)
[CdM] Not a palette.
I took a closer look at mine, and there are a few screws in it.
A wooden posable model thingy for artists to use to get human forms right?
[Phil] *applause* You have precisely guessed the words on the card! It is indeed a wooden posable model thingy for artists to use to get human forms right!
[Raak] Is there an official name for a WPMTfAtUtgHFR?
The simplest description I've found is an artists' manikin.
Here goes another one: ANIMAL, VEGETABLE & MINERAL
A cornet player dressed up (in natural fibres) as a pink fairy?
Is the animal element human?
[Raak] As the costume was polyester, your guess falls by the wayside, I'm afraid. Not a bad effort, but completely off the mark :-)
[Kim] Human? NO
Is the Animal alive?
[Rosie] Live animal? NO
Is it edible?
[GIII] Edible? NO
Does the whole thing occur naturally?
Part of an animal, eg fur?
[Kim] A natural occurrence? NO
[Rosie] Fur-esque? YES *Applause*
An item of clothing?
[Rosie] Confirmation that I was only referring to the animal element when answering your last question.
[Raak] Item of clothing? NO
Is bone involved?
[Raak] Bone involved? Not to my knowledge.
Contains leather?
[Rosie] Contains leather? YES *Some applause*
Can you put things into it?
[Kim] Can things be put into it? YES
A HAND-baaag?
A wallet?
A suitcase?
A leather tankard?
[Rosie] Handbag? NO
[GIII] Wallet? NO
[nights] suitcase? NO
[Raak] Leather tankard? NO
A large object, not normally moved?
[Rosie] Two questions for the price of one! A large object? YES Not normally moved? NO
Is it a piece of luggage?
[Raak] Piece of luggage? NO
Is it a piece of furniture?
An elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[Chalky] Piece of furniture? NO
[INJ] Nellie's brollies? NO
Used for transport?
A pair of clown shoes?
[INJ] Used for transport? YES *Loud applause*
[Raak] clown shoes? NO
Part of a means of transport?
[Rosie] Part of a means of transport? NO
A motor car?
A saddle?
A type of carriage?
A Surrey with a Fringe on Top?
Forgive the simulpost, but that was what I was actually thinking of.
[Chalky] A motor car? YES *More loud applause*
[Raak] Saddle? NO, see above
[INJ] Carriage or song from Oklahoma!? NO, see above
Are we trying to guess the make and model?
A Rolls Royce?
No, damn it. Please ignore the previous and replace with "A Morgan". Ta.
[Chalky] Make & Model? Yes please :-) *more applause*
[Dujon] Moggie? NO
[INJ] Good grief. I had been planning (since before this round began) "Surrey with a Fringe on Top" as my next AVMA subject.
Still in production?
English?
/British?
[INJ] In production? YES
[GIII] English/British? Hmmmm...British-built, but not owned (any more) *Audience gasps at how much information the usually-tight-lipped Phil is giving away*
Mini?
Is this a car that you own?
What me? Nosey?
[GIII] Mini? NO
[Chalky] My car? NO *Laughter from the audience*
Is it a single, specific car?
Luxury/High performance?
Yeah, yeah, I know that's two questions.
[Raak] single, specific car? NO, presuming you mean something like "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" or "John Major's Nova", otherwise see Chalky's penultimate question.
[INJ] Luxury/high performance? YES on both counts *a little more applause*
Soft-top/convertible?
[GIII] Convertible? YES *a bit more applause*
Is it a Chevrolet (yes, the make them) Corvette?
[Red Wolf] Chevvy? NO, see Graham III's third last question.
Is it an Aston Martin DB9?
[Phil] Graham III's last question was if it was a soft-top/convertible. Corvettes do have that option, they are luxury and high performance, at which they are only beaten out by the Dodge Viper (flames to come from that, I'm sure). Even then, a 'Vette is still preferred.

The issue comes in that I forgot the British point 3 questions ago. See new guess above.

[RW] DB9? Fraid not, even though a friend of mine has one...the lucky (rich) swine. Btw, if you look closely, you'll see that I said "third last question" :-)
Bentley Continental GTC?
[GIII] Bentley? NO
Rolls Royce drophead coupe?
[GIII] Not a Roller either - not quite that de luxe
Is it an Aston Martin?
I admit, I missed that and can be blind at times. Forgive me, all. The logic behind the above question: [Phil] said that it wasn't the DB9, then that it wasn't a Bentley or a Rolls, but he never specifically said it wasn't an AM. So, it isn't as dumb a question as it might seem... I hope...
[RW} Nope, it's not any kind of Aston Martin.
Is it a Lotus of some kind?
I'm running out of marques. I am also struggling to find a niche for Lotus in the luxury class of vehicles.
[Dujon] Not a Lotus either. It's a very well known make of car, worldwide.
Bentley?
[Raak] Not a Bentley. Maybe my idea of luxury/high performance is not as high-spec as everyone else's, but the on-the-road price is about £70k
BMW 6-series convertible?
MG - Rover?
Jaguar?
[GIII] BMW? NO
[Chalky] MG-Rover? NO
[INJ] Jaguar? YES, dagnammit, YES! *rapturous applause dies off rapidly as audience remembers that the model is required too*
Jaguar XK 4.2 convertible
Well I bet there's an 'X' in there somewhere
Jaguar XK 4.2L convertible
Just a cheeky pedant's guess ;-)
Jaguar XKR 4.2L supercharged convertible
Although a more serious guess just to make sure all of the bases are covered ;-)
[INJ] Not that one
[GIII] Not that one either
[GIII take 2] YES, that one!
Gosh. That was exciting. well played GIIIIIIII
It was almost as exciting as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
Goodness me, well there's a turn-up for the books. Let's try something Abstract.
Altogether now... a Human Construct?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Come on, let's keep in time.
[Projoy] If by that you mean something dreamt up by a human being, then YES.
[Kim] Unionised chaos? NO
Does it begin with a 'P'?
Well, if Kim is going to steal my lines, I'll just have to take TUJ's
Did the idea originate before 1900?
[INJ] P? Ah, NO [Projoy] pre-1900? YES
Musical?
[Raak] YES! *applause*.
European?
After 1700?
[Kim] No
[Projoy] No
Is it American?
Prepare for a SPAM of 3
Is it British?
Is it Asian?
[Red Wolf 1] The USA didn't exist before 1700.
[Red Wolf 2] See above
[Red Wolf 3] NO.
A scale?
[Rosie] Interesting, but NO.
A particular piece of music?
[GIII] The Americas have been around for 100 million years or so, though.
Is it anything to do with North African drum rhythms?
[GIII] Sorry, I missed those... The Europeans have had records of the American continents, though, since the 11th century, thanks to the Vikings, and have been visited since about the 6th century, thanks to the Celts. American Indian music is noteworthy.
Is it specific to any continent?
A type of singing, chanting or other non-instrumental sound?
[CdM] Particular piece? YES
[CdM] To say yes to it being American would have been misleading. The Americas have existed for a very long time, however in common parlance 'America' means nothing but the USA.
[Red Wolf] Drumming? NO
[Projoy] YES, though see CdM's question above.
[Rosie] See answer to CdM.
But is it, as Rosie asks, an exclusively vocal piece?
[Projoy] It is performed as such now, though it was probably performed with instruments originally.
So, it originated in Africa?
(just to rule out Australasia/Oceania)
Wimoweh?
[Projoy] NO (you might want to look at my comment to CdM)
[Rosie] NO
Is it a Russian piece of music?
Latin American?
[Chalky] Russki? NO [Rosie] Latino? YES! *warm applause from the audience*
From before 1500?
An accompaniment to a dance?
La Folia?
does it begin with a 'w'?
Does it begin with a vowel?
Does it begin with anything?
Sorry, got called away...
[Projoy] No
[Rosie] No
[Raak] No
[Chalky] No and No, [CdM] YES!
[all] Apologies for the delay caused by a work and Christmas combo. I would suggest a line of questioning along the lines of who might have written it. Then Wikipedia will be of massive help...
Does it begin on the first beat of the bar?
[Rosie] In so far as there would have been bars (i.e. it begins on a stressed note), YES.
Is it considered the work of one author?
[Projoy] YES
A piece of sacred music?
[Raak] YES! *applause*
A masterpiece of Mexican polyphony?
[Raak] Masterpiece? Subjective of course, and not on the disc of that name. Mexican Polyphony? YES! *audience applauds, excited discussion*
Juan Gutiérrez de Padilla
(he only has 700 surviving pieces, so it should be easy to narrow it down if it is him)
[Projoy] YES! *applause*
The Missa ego flos campi
(or, in English, the absent selfhood of effeminate Flossie)
A la xácara xacarilla?
(Or in English, "To the Batmobile!")
[Raak] Thwack! Kapow! No, Robin.
Projoy: YES! The exact words on the card! *The audience go wild and bleat with delight*.
Well, that was a stroke. I'm much too ill at the moment to set one and remember it later, so perhaps I could defer to someone else? Raak, maybe?
Get well soon PJ x
Get well soon! Ok, if I'm on, then the next one is MINERAL.
Human-made?
Not human-made.
Unique?
[Projoy] Best of health to you!
Not unique.
A geographical feature?
Not a geographical feature.
A substance?
Not necessarily psychoactive.
Not a substance.
Bigger than a phonebox?
Feeling thick again - never heard of de Padilla or his work :-(
Found in caves?
[Phil] Apologies for that - it was a bit obscure, but I thought it was hunt-downable, even if you hadn't heard of the composer in the first place. He's not well known outside the world of choral music, but worth exploring if you like the genre.
[Phil] Could be larger or smaller than a phonebox.
[Graham] Not found in caves.
The name of a continuous substance - e.g. "rock"?
[GIII/Phil] It was definitely huntdownable, since I'd never heard of him/it either until I googled "Mexican Polyphony". :)
A household object?
[Projoy] Not the name of a substance.
[irach] Not a household object.
Connected with weather?
[Rosie] It could well be connected with the weather.
Is it liquid?
[GIII/Projoy] I'm sure I could've found the answer if I'd tried (which I didn't) - I just felt thick that I'd never heard of him.
A flood?
[Phil] Not liquid, hence...
[Rosie] Not a flood.
Is it normally a gas in the atmosphere?
[RW] Not a gas in the atmosphere.
A gas to be found in outer space?
Snow in some form?
[Projoy] Not a gas to be found anywhere.
[Rosie] Not any form of snow.
Is it solid?
[Phil] YES, solid.
Is this found all over the world?
PJ] Hope you're feeling better
[I] Not found all over the world. Not at all!
A meteorite?
Volcanic origin?
[Phil] *applause* Not a meteorite.
[Rosie] Not volcanic.
Something of non-terrestrial origin?
An asteroid, perhaps?
[Phil] *Cheers and more cheering* Non-terrestrial, yes, and an asteroid.
Is it a single object of uncertain size? (cf phonebox)
[CdM] Not a single object.
Tectites?
[Rosie] Not tectites.
Minor Planets?
[Phil] Is that different from an asteroid?
[Phil] If "minor planets" is a subset of asteroids, it's the wrong subset.
A meteor?
C-type Asteroids?
[Rosie] *excited murmurs* Not a meteor.
[Projoy] Not C-type.
Are they found as trojan asteroids?
Are they found as belt asteroids?
Are they M-type asteroids?
I know, bad form for three questions...
[RW] None of them are trojans.
[RW] I'm not sure if they count as belt asteroids or not.
[RW] Not M-type, although individual examples might or might not be.
The moons of Jupiter?
[Chalky] Not the moons of Jupiter. Asteroids, remember.
Members of a particular asteroid family?
NEAs (Near Earth Asteroids)?
Hilda asteroids?
[I] (pause to google the precise definition of an asteroid family) No. Hence...
[C] Hilda Ogden? No.
[P] *loud applause* Yes, they are all NEAs (but not all NEAs are of this particular type).
An Amor-type object?
Chanson d'Amor
PHAs (Potentially Hazardous Asteroids)?
[Phil] *more applause* They are indeed potentially hazardous, but that is not quite the definition of the class on the card.
Apollo Asteroids?
[Phil] Not the Apollos.
Ahem - an Amor-type object?
Aten-type?
Going to have to dig deeper if it's not one of those three.
[Phil] Doesn't begin with A.
[Phil] [Rosie & Phil]
An extinct comet?
[I] Not an extinct comet.
The earth's moons?
[Phil] Not the earth's moons (I thought we only had one, unless Cruithne and the dust clouds at the Trojan points count).
Damocloids?
Despite the question mark - that really was me :-)
Earth-crossing asteroids?
[Chalky] Haemorrhoids on the point of fatally bursting? No.
[Rosie] (An asteroid crashes into the theatre, vaporising everything for twenty miles in every direction and throwing up enough dust to begin an ice age. A million years later intelligent cockroaches emerge to build a new world.) Bullseye!
Oh drat! Aten + Appollo = Earth-crossers...so near, and yet so far. Still, I've learnt more about asteroids in the last two days, than in the previous 40 years.
(Phil) Good heavens, are you 40?
This one is ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections. (Not cockroaches with HNC Building Practice).
[Rosie] Yes - and so is Mrs Phil on Saturday.
Is the animal connection human?
(Duj) Human it is.
Is it, therefore, a human construct?
(Projoy) Not strictly a deliberate construct but an off-the-cuff answer would be YES.
Would the abstract then be something which humans learned rather than invented?
(Dujon) You could certainly say that. *applause*
Mathematics-related?
(CdM) Nothing to do with maths.
Was it discovered by scientists?
(Raak) Not discovered by scientists.
Does this have to do with the skies?
By that I mean anything above terra firma.
(Dujon) Nothing to do with the skies.
Is there a religious connection?
(Quendalon) No religious connection at all.
Is this a state of mind?
(Chalky) Not a state of mind.
Is it connected to language?
(Chalky) *prolonged applause* It certainly is.
Is it A language?
[Just me an' you at the mo, Rosers]
(Chalky) Not A Language *some scattered applause*
Keep 'em coming!
A 'part' of language?
I'm trying Rosie - have even done a pub quiz [which we won - wahay] and come back....[Where IS everyone?]
(Chalky) Yes. *more vigorous applause*. (I wish you'd put a comma after your first two words because it reminds me that I haven't quite got the stamina I had 30 yrs ago.)
Specific to the English language?
A smart-arse reply?
(CdM) Not specific to the English language.
(Irouléguy) Try again. :-)
A grammatical principle?
Onomatopoeia?
(Graham III) Not a grammatical principle.
(Quendalon) Not onomatopoeia.

A different aspect of language needs to be considered.

Poetry?
Is it to do with writing?
Storytelling?
(Bigsmith) Not poetry.
(Red Wolf) Definitely nothing to do with writing.
(Graham III) Not storytelling.
Is it usually spoken (rather than written)?
Are we seeking some form of cant?
An accent?
A dialect?
Is it a style of language (e.g. sarcasm)?
(Iroluléguy) Yes.
(Dujon) Not cant.
(CdM) Yes! *vigorous applause* Not quite the words on the card.
(Tshauki) Not really, but *some applause*
(Phil) Not a style of language.
(Irg) You know who I mean. Dreadful sorry.
Received Pronunciation?
No, wait, it's not specific to English, is it...
A foreign accent?
Does this occur in all languages?
(CdM-1)*audience laughter* No!
(CdM-2) Not foreign.
(Irouléguy) Almost certainly every language has this.
An idiolect?
Slang?
An ecolect?
A regional accent?
Ayup, chuck, someone's gorrit. A REGIONAL ACCENT it is, and CHALKY is the winner!
By 'eck - am reet choofed

Thanks Mr Rosie.
I shall now gleefully plunge into my chairpersonship with a tantalising
A B S T R A C T / M I N E R A L with A N I M A L connections ......

The Lascaux paintings?
Is the way the subject is formatted on the laser scoreboard significant?
[Rosie] Bzzzzzt Repetition!
Huh. I don't know what went wrong there...
[Raak] Cave scribblings? NO
[INJ] Notable display? NO

[CdM - was that meant to be a link to a similar subject for guessing - a couple of years back?]
Is the animal connection human?
[Kim] Human? YES
Something inhabited by humans?
Is it a work of art?
A building?
[Quendalon] Inhabited by peeps? NO
[Raak] A work of art? NO ]
[Rosie] Building? NO
A one-word answer?
[Tuj] One word? YES
Unique?
Would this, Chalky, be a construction variously referred to as a monument/astronomical observatory/religious site?
[Quendalon] One of a kind? NO
[Dujon] Well now, Duj - now I have interpreted the thrust of your question - I feel I can quite categorically reply IN THE NEGATIVE :-)
Graffiti?
Specific to a particular culture?
[Chalky] Yes. Rosie set exactly the same subject a while back. Together with Raak's repetition of "alarm clock", this sets me wondering if the time is coming to put this game to rest awhile.
(Also, pace Rosie's answer, I'm prepared to bet that some of the Papua New Guinea languages do not have regional accents!)
[Rosie] Graffiti? NO but ...*murmers from audience*
[CdM] Culturally specific? NO

Re: this game. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it the only really competitive guessing game over the 3 servers? Also it's a flagship game for MC5, is genuinely mind-expanding and happens to be a personal favourite. So I would hate to see it go. However, if others feel the same, I would naturally, go with the majority. :-)
[Chalky] That was more of a random musing than a vote. I love this game as well, but it is striking that people are forgetting the subjects that they themselves have set in the past.
Poetry?
[Phil] Poetry? NO

[CdM] An indicator that regardless of the trillions of potential choices, l'idée fixe has more power?
An inscription of some kind?
(CdM) re - PNG local accents - I won't argue (for once).
[Rosie] Inscription? NO
Is this a natural phenomenon?
[Rosie] A natural phenomenon? NO
Is it symbolic?
[Rosie] Symbolic? No - not really. In fact - NO
Does it involve words?
[Graham III] Involve words? NO
Does it have to do with sound?
[Red Wolf] To do with sound? NO
is the abstract/mineral something built or constructed?
Is the mineral metal?
Peak Oil?
Anything to do with transport?
Nit necessarily steam trains.
BUGGER! Nit = not.
[Irouléguy] Built or constructed? SORT OF - but, then again, not in the way I think you mean
[Phil] Mineral metal? NO ... it could be but I wouldn't like to mislead you.
[Raak] Peak Oil? NO
[Rosie] Transport? NIET
Is it bigger than a house?
[Raak] Bigger than a house? NO ... not normally, although it could be but I wouldn't like to mislead you :-)
Is it ornamental?
Is it conceptual?
An artistic representation of some kind?
[Raak] Ornamental? NO
[Graham III] Conceptual? Er ... NO
[Irouléguy] Artistic representation of some kind? NO
Could I buy one of these?
Would you see one of these in a town?
Is it a, you know, um, whaddyacallit, humanly constructed thingy?
Would you want one of these?
[Raak] Would you buy one of these? NO
[Rosie] Seen in town? YES
[CdM] Humanly constructeded? OH YES *audience applauses mainly because there's been precious little to get excited about so far in this game*
[Graham III] Would you want one of these? You might ... but you might not
add/ Talking of which, I'm wondering why the audience didn't hum and ha a bit when I answered Irouléguy's last question. They were obviously asleep. Apologs
Billboard advertising?
[Graham III] Billboard advertising? NO
A monument?
[Raak] A monument? NO

Hint: This is definitely ABSTRACT with MINERAL to help it on its way. The human connection means it's 'constructed' and used by humans rather than beasties.
A congeries of mineral objects?
Fictional?
Some kind of open space?
[Quendalon] A congeries [a collection?] NO
[Raak] Fictional? NO
[Rosie] Some kind of open space? NO ... but there is a kind of connection with open space.
Is it a square or a plaza?
I consider them to be the same thing.
Visually appealing?
Can it be discerned by any of the five senses?
Scrap that -- if you can see it in a town, the answer is presumably yes.
[Red Wolf] Is it a square or a plaza? NOT IN THE WAY YOU MEAN ... but you are, quite possibly unwittingly, getting closer to the structure of this thing
[CdM] 5 sensage? I'm replying because the 'in a town' answer could equally have been an 'out-of-town' answer and it would be unfair to mislead you. The answer is, however, YES :-)

Second hint: Just look back at some of the questions you have all asked when presented with an ABSTRACT +.
sorry - missed your question
[Rosie] Visually appealing? It could be , but not really relevant at this stage of the game
Is there any connection to sport?
Does it commonly contain 90-degree angles?
An empty plinth?
Is it entertaining?
[CdM] Sport connection? Ah. Tricky one to answer. Strictly speaking, NO ... but this line of questioning may be productive * audience nearly claps*
[Juxtapose] 90 - degree angles? YES! *audience claps*
[Raak] An empty plinth? NO
[Graham III] Entertaining? YES *audience now getting very vocal*
Are tickets sold for it?
Are we talking about the surface on which a particular activity is performed?
[Raak] Tickets sold? NO not usually :-)
[Bigsmith] Are we talking surface/activity? Guessing the mineral part will probably lead to the answer, so YES
A 147 break?
[CdM] 147 break? NO
A bull ring?
[Graham III] A bull ring? NO

Re: last 2 questions. Remember - tickets are NOT sold for this particular thing.
Hmm, perhaps that doesn't have too much to do with 90 degree angles...
Parkour?
[Graham III] Parkour? NO
Hopscotch?
Hurrah hurrah
Irouléguy chucks his stone into the square and hops to victory. HOPSCOTCH is the very word on the card. Well played!
Very well done Irouléguy. I was barking up totally the wrong tree for most of that.
Thanks, G III. My thanks go to Juxtapose - it was the 90 degree angle question that helped me put it together. Throwing the jack again, we next have an ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections (and a few MINERALS, strictly speaking, but they're not helpful).
Animal human?
Rosie] Animal human? Yes
Is it a human construct that begins with P?
An activity?
CdM - Is it a human construct that begins with P? No (to both)
Rosie - An activity? *hum of discussion in the audience* Ye-es - although there's a case for saying that 'no' is also a valid answer.
Growth?
CdM - Growth? No
Is the vegetable paper?
A process?
Does this involve people meeting each other?
Is it a place?
One installation of a new home PC later - Vista's very funny looking, but I forgive it everything I'm likely to discover for how fast it loads. Questions, questions...

Raak - Is the vegetable paper? Paper isn't the primary vegetable, but it is involved (or not)
Quendalon - A process? For some people, yes
Rosie - Does this involve people meeting each other? It could do (though the opposite could also be true)
Chalky - Is it a place? No
Does it involve correspondence?
Rosie] Does it involve correspondence? It could do, but I think it usually doesn't.
Is it a game?
Raak] Is it a game? No
Related to language?
Quendalon] Related to language? No
A learning process?
Rosie] A learning process? Yes, it is - though it's not the most obvious description of this.
Requires more than one person?
Quendalon] Requires more than one person? No - though it's argued that people doing it together will have a better experience.

Oh, and re-reading the above, there are no sexual connotations - the answer is perfectly SFW.
Is there a musical connection?
Making marks on a surface?
Are computers involved?
Is it a social process (ie, concerned with the development or conduct of social relationships)?
Chalky] Is there a musical connection? No
Quendalon - Making marks on a surface? No
Raak - Are computers involved? No
Kim] Is it a social process (ie, concerned with the development or conduct of social relationships)? *stirrings in the audience* If successful, it will almost certainly change the development and conduct of social relationships. And you could describe it as a social process, for particular definitions of 'social'.
Counselling?
Graham III] Counselling? *more stirrings in the audience* No, though counselling can often help with this.
Divorce?
is this something that happens to people?
Rehabilitation?
An AA meeting?
Juxtapose] Divorce? No - see the answer to Quendalon's last question but one.
Chalky] Is this something that happens to people? *applause* Good question - no, it's something that people do.
Rosie] Rehabilitation? No
Raak - An AA meeting? *applause and a few cheers from the audience* No, but nearer than any previous guess
Teetotalism?
Cigarette addiction?
Are these people trying to come to terms with a problem they have?
Raak] Teetotalism? *shudder* No
Graham III] Cigarette addiction? *cheering from the audience* So close!
Rosie] Are these people trying to come to terms with a problem they have? *more cheering - the audience pick up their bags and coats preparing for the end* YES!
A visit to the Doctor?
Chalky] A visit to the Doctor? *the audience put their bags down* No
Losing weight?
Not to lurk, but...
The answer's giving up smoking.
A lurky guess - Tuj wins! Those are the exact words on the card. One low-tar, filter-tipped baton passed over.
[Tuj] Does it begin with P?
[CdM]

The very words on the card!

*hands over baton*
Ha!
O-kay... This one is ANIMAL.
Is it a humang beeing?
A human being? Not yet. *appreciative amused murmurs from the audience*
[Tuj] I'm now worried about my victory. Were the words on the card "Does it begin with P?" or "Does it begin with P"? If the latter, then fine. But if the former, am I right in thinking your answer should have just been no, since I didn't ask "Does it begin with P??"?
A stem cell?
The next Dalai Lama?
Stem cell? No.
Antereincarnate? No.
An embryo?
An embryo? No. Examine your assumptions.
A humanoid?
Edible?
[CdM] To be honest, you had the question in before I thought of anything, but it amused me so much it merited that =)
A humanoid? No.
Edible? Strictly speaking, yes, but highly unlikely to be eaten!
A primate?
Is it unique?
My signature question.
A mammal?
Fictional?
Hang on...
Does it begin with a P?
A spermatazoon?
A body part or product?
A primate? No (but examine your assumptions)
Is it unique? That depends somewhat on your definition of "it", but I think the least misleading answer is No.
A mammal? No (but examine your assumptions)
Fictional? No.
Begin with P? No. Spermatazoon? No.
Body part or product? No.
Is this a collection of things?
Collection of things? Well, "collection" is not the usual word, and nor is "things", but Yes. *some audience applause*
The genome?
NB - "Not yet" a human being = a teenager.
Well, my wife is due home shortly so I'll back out of here for a few hours. I do ever so hope that she has that glint in her eyes.
Well, my wife is due home shortly so I'll back out of here for a few hours. I do ever so hope that she has that glint in her eyes.? No.
(but an interesting guess, it has to be said)
Is it an egg?
A dismembered corpse?
Shoal of fish?
I take it wasn't anything to do with Rosie's genome?
Is it alive?
Genome? No.
Teenager? No. *laughter* Sorry. I know I already composed those answers, but I must have previewed and failed to post.
Egg? No.
Dismembered corpse? No,
Shoal of fish? No.
Alive? Yes.*applause, as much from relief than anything else*
I say again, you need to examine your assumptions. Some of my answers have involved very careful parsing of the questions.
A troop of monkeys?
Troop of monkeys? No. *smattering of applause, none the less*
Dr. Frankenstein's collection of spare parts?
Just clarifying the answer to Chalky's initial question:
Is this thing normally expected to become a human being?
*Before he can even answer, the audience applauds the decision to return to Chalky's question*
Normally expected to become a human being? The thing described by the words of the cards is definitely* expected to become a human being.

*There are imaginable ways in which this might not happen, but they are highly improbable.
Is the answer humorous?
a chromasome?
or even a chromosome?
The glint in a father's eye?
I suppose that is abstract really, but might at least clarify whether I'm thinking in the right ballpark.
Humorous? Not at all. If anything, the opposite.
Chromuhsome? No.
The glint in Dujon's wife's eye? No. And not even the right ballgame, never mind the right ballpark.
Dare I say: Examine your assumptions?
Posterity?
Posterity? No. *smattering of applause*
The Second Coming?
Descendents?
Second coming? No.
Descendants? No. It was only a smattering of applause!
attempting a summary

ANIMAL
IT IS NOT a stem cell, the next Dalai Lama, an embryo, a humanoid, a primate, unique, a mammal, fictional, a spermatozoon, a body part or product, the genome, a teenager, an egg, a dismembered corpse, a shoal of fish, a troop of monkeys [drew some applause], humorous, a chromosome, glint in a father's eye, posterity [drew a smattering of applause], the second coming, descendants, Dujon backing out of here for a few hours hoping for a wifely eye glint.

IT IS: definitely expected to become a human being, edible [but unlikely to be eaten], a collection of things [but 'collection' and 'things' are not the best words to use], alive [drew relieved applause],
Are there more than 100 of these?
And presumably not Frankenstein's stack of spare parts, asked earlier?
Would you need a microscope to see it?
Are there more than 100 of these? No. *substantial applause*
BRAAAIIIINNNSS? No.
Would you need a microscope? No.
Chalky's summary is accurate but must be, I will remind you, carefully parsed. And perhaps it should also include the answer to her first question: It is not yet a human being.
Do we need to examine the definition of 'human being' in order to make some progress with your little cunundrum?
Does it exist at the present time?
A human clone?
Do we need to examine definition of human being? No. That's not where your confusion lies.
Exist at present time? Yes. *some applause*
Clone? No.
Is it the subject of any political controversy?
Is sex involved?
Would the answer to any of the things this is NOT, in Chalky's list, have been yes, if the question had been posed in the plural?
e.g. more than one mammal.
Subject of political controversy? It has a connection to political controversy but is not to my knowledge the subject of pc.
Sex? No.
Yes if plural? Yes! *substantial and relieved applause*
Siamese twins?
Siamese twins? No.
Is this a tribe?
... and I think it has been fairly obvious for some time that the answer is in the plural - just look at the yesses.
And yet it becomes a human being.
...and isn't a human body part or product. Hmm.
Well, that disqualifies "dismembered corpses"... and you do not need a microscope to see it, which disqualifies stem cells, chromosomes, and a couple others... Is it pre-natal?
A tribe? No.
Prenatal? No.
*(The audience is starting to enjoy this)*
Could you fit it into a telephone box?
That is, the whole group of whatever they are, all in to a single telephone box.
Vanishing twins?
Are these mostly found on one continent?
Are there less than 50 of these?
Phittable in a phonebox? Not yet.
Vanishing twins? No.
Mostly found on one continent? Mostly, yes. *applause*
<50? Yes.
Are they used in scientific research?
Pigs bred for the purpose of human organ transplants?
Do they exist right now?
Is the continent they are mostly found on Asia?
Are there less than 12 of these?
Used in scientific research? No.
Porcine donors? No.
Exist right now? Yes.
Mainly in Asia? No.
<12 No.
The audience, rather belatedly, is thinking that Chalky's third-to-last question might have indicated a promising line of thinking on her part. Or it might not.
Can they talk?
Can they talk? Yes. (It's conceivable that perhaps one or two of them in fact can't, but I have no special reason to think that is true.)
Continent: North America?
North America? No.
Are they human right now?
An example of conjoined twins?
Are they particularly small?
Is this the group of 'nearly humans' but 'not quite yet' that have been in the news lately?
... which is what I was aiming for when I asked about a 'tribe'?
Human right now? Yes. *audience applauds, more out of relief than anything else*
Conjoined twins? No.
Particularly small? No.
Nearly but not quite human? No. *The audience now thinks they were in fact correct not to applaud Chalky's earlier question*
Maybe it is time to look once again at your assumptions. You are all missing something rather obvious.
Does this number of humans-right-now have a collective name?
Are these human-right-now related?
Is this a collection of people who will eventually be just one, the rest having been excluded from the group in some manner, such as by dying or being knocked out of a competition?
Collective name? That's actually a little tricky to answer. I think the best answer is No. However, the five words on the card might be thought of as a collective name for these humans right now.
Are they related? No.
Is this a collection ... competition? YES! *sustained applause*
The participants on Big Brother?
Participants on Big Brother. *audience laughter* No.
The candidates for US President?
Mitt Hussein Rodham McCain? No.
Are the members of this group members because of their own choices/actions?
Members through choice or action? I suppose that some choices influenced their member ship of this group, but the best answer is definitely No.
Is there a definite date, already known, by which time only one will be left?
Definite known date by which time only one will be left? No.
Further to Raak's earlier question, is the point at which there will be only one member of the group remaining determined by the death of the other members of the group?
A tontine?
Is 'survivor' one of the words on the card?
Five words... The members of my [CdM's] family?
Point at which one left determined by death of others? Yes. *applause*
Tontine? No.
Is 'survivor" one of the words? No, but "surviving" is. *applause*
Kind Hearts and Coronets? No.
Speakers of a particular language?
People in line to inherit a throne/kingdom?
Oh - and continent: Europe?
Speakers of a particular language? No.
Kind Hearts and Coronets? No.
Continent = Europe? Yes, although my earlier agreement that they were "mostly to be found on one continent" was in fact slightly inaccurate. A better statement is that the majority are to be found in Europe.
Surviving Veterans of World War I?
Last surviving veteran of WWI?
... just to cover the other possibility :-)
We have a winner! "Surviving World War One Veterans" were the words on the card. Looking back, Chalky's first ("a human being?") question, which I couldn't resist answering as "not yet", led you all to run after a large number of untamed waterfowl. I was surprised to discover that there are still at least 15 (plus maybe another 8 depending on exactly how you count) living WWI vets.

One batonet handed carefully to Chalky.
* who not-so-carefully wallops CdM's backside with it*
... and if I'd have missed out the indefinite article in that question, who knows how you might have replied ;-)
Will post a new one at 0730 GMT
... late on parade
Next up - A B S T R A C T with Animal connections
Are the animal connections human?
[Graham III] Animal connections Human? Not yet ......

Only joking :-) YES
A specific human?
A mythical character?
A fictional character?
[Irouléguy] Specific human? NO
[Kim] Mythical character? NO
[Bigsmith} A fictional character? NO
To do with mathematics?
A human characteristic?
[Raak] To do with mathematics? NO - not really
[Rosers] A human characteristic? NO
Is the animal connection a reference to a human body part or parts?
Is this an activity undertaken by human beings?
[CdM] Referencing human body or body parts? Strictly speaking ... YES [see next reply]
[Graham III] Activity? YES! *applause*
Is it sporting?
[Graham III] Sporting? Some may find it sporting, some may not :-)
Sex?
[irach] Sex? Not sex per se - but some may find it sexy and some may not :-)
Is it a particularly energetic activity?
[Raak] Particularly energetic? NO. Good question.
Is it mostly carried out by one person at a time?
Some form of research?
[Graham III] Mostly by one person at a time? Not sure of the stats - if indeed there are any. Can be one, can be two, can be three, can be four, can be .... am I boring you?
[Dujon] Research? NO
Scrabble?
Is it yoga?
[Graham III] Scrabble? NO
[Kim] Yoga? NO ... but *audience cheers with considerable gusto*
Tai Chi?
Pilates?
Is it essentially play?
sorry for delay - had to do hospital visiting

Wow - an excellent deduction Raak and spot on. Tai Chi it is. I am a huge fan of this 'soft' martial art.

*hands over baton in slow motion stylee*
*grasps swallow's tail, waves hands like birds, repulses monkey, weaves with shuttles, and greets fair lady*

The next is MINERAL, with VEGETABLE connections.

Is it manmade?
Is it used in a culinary capacity?
Is it commonly referred to in the singular?
Is it edible?
[Raak] repulsing monkey is my favourite move :-)
Is it a tool?
Does it begin with P?
Crude oil?
Marmalade? No.
Not culinary.
You can have just one of these.
Not edible.
Tool? It performs a function.
Does not begin with P.
Not crude oil.
Are the vegetable connections wood?
Man-made?
.. assuming Marmalade reply wasn't meant in jest :-)
Wooden connections? Sort of.
Oops, just my eyes going funny. IS man-made.
vegetable = Paper?
Yes, paper. Speaking of which, this thing could fairly be said to have ABSTRACT connections as well.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Anything to do with a creative activity?
Bigger than a toaster.
Has to do with a creative activity. *sounds of the audience approving*
Is the abstract connection writing?
[Q] Writing? Narrowly understood, no, broadly understood, yes.
is one of the words actually "paper"?
A keyboard?
[J] "Paper" does not appear on the card.
[R] Not a keyboartd.
Chinese scroll-painting?
[I] Not Chinese scroll-painting.
Anything to do with musical notation?
[G3] Nothing to do with musical notation. At least, not specifically.
Rubbings?
[Q] Not rubbings.
Ink?
[Rosie] Not ink. *the audience once more make approving sounds*
Related to holes?
Is there paint (or a coloring medium) involved with its typical use?
[Q] No holes.
[J] Yes, a colouring medium.
Is it unique?
The Blue Pencil?
[Tuj] Not unique.
[Rosie] Not the Blue Pencil.
Is it a paintbrush?
Is it one particular colo(u)r?
[nights] Not a paintbrush.
[CdM] Not a particular colour.
You're all thinking too small.
could you fit it through a door?
[J] You can't fit it through a door. Well, an ordinary door.
Would this be a man-made construction which in turn produces something?
The 'You can have just one of these' comment has me flummoxed though.
[Dujon] Yes, a man-made construction producing something. "One of these" -- well, you can have one, or more than one, so answering Juxtapose's question, it can be referred to in the singular or the plural.
a kiln?
Not a kiln.
A photocopier?
That's probably a bum shot.
Not a photocopier (but the audience have started to look cheerful again).
A printing press?
Bingo! A Printing Press.
Yay! An answer that was a good combination of sufficiently uncommon, yet not randomly obtuse giving me a chance there. For the next one we have:
MINERAL AND VEGETABLE (normally).
Edible?
[Raak] Yummy? NO.
A geographical feature?
Man-made?
Is it unique?
[INJ] Geographical? NO [Rosie] Man-made? YES *light applause from the audience* [Quendalon] Unique? NO
Metal and wood?
Mood/Wetal? YES, these are both normally involved.
is it found on/near streets?
Would this normally (or, at least often) be associated with visual art?
Would this normally (or, at least often) be associated with music?
Is it a tool?
Is it a building?
[Juxtapose] Street dweller? NO
[Dujon] Art? Normally, NO
[Quendalon] Music? NO, not that I've ever heard of.
[Raak] Tool? NO, not within the definition of Chambers.
[Tuj] Building? NO
Does the metal part consist of fastenings holding the wooden parts together?
[Raak] Fasteners? NOT EXCLUSIVELY
In between the size of a toaster and a phone box?
Toast-box? YES!
Is it a piece of furniture?
[Raak] Furniture? NO in the conventional sense.
A box or container of some kind?
Commonly found in one's home?
[Rosie] Box? NO
[Quendalon] Homebased? YES *applause*.
Does it have any moving parts?
Sorry, I forgot that I was the last one to post. How gauche of me! Please forgive the solecism.
Does it have any moving parts?
Problem solved.
Is it normally found in the same location (e.g. usually in the kitchen)
[Q/J] Moving parts? YES
[INJ] One place? NOT USUALLY (as far as I know about people's homes...)
Would this normally (or, at least often) . . . curse you, Quendalon. ;-)
Does this have hinges?
Commonly found not in one's home?
Would most owners normally own just one of these?
A door?
*suspects Raak has nailed it*
More wood than metal?
(Irg) All my doors have screws. :-)
[Irouléguy] I doubt it's a door, as we've been told it's not found on or near streets.
[Dujon] You're too kind. :)
Grandfather clock?
[Dujon] Hinged? NOT IN THE CONVENTIONAL SENSE
[CdM] Out of house and home? YES, though you may not come across it usually.
[Iguy] Just one? YES
[Raak] Door? NO
[Rosie] Woody? DEPENDS ON YOUR MEASURE AND THE SPECIFIC EXAMPLE. Mine has more wood by volume if that's any help.
[Quendalon] Clock? NOPE.
Is it collapsible?
[Juxtapose] Collapsible? YES *audience excited now*
[GIII] Delectable italicise text, that *approves*=)
A folding ladder / stepladder?
Is the unconventional hinge similar to, say, a piano accordian or bellows?
A Workmate?
[Tuj] Why thank you :-)
[Quendalon] Ladder? NOPE
[Dujon] according? NO
[Raak] Workmate? NO.
A piano?
A panelled screen?
Associated with play?
A deck chair?
Ironing board?
[Rosie 1] NO
[Chalky] NO
[Quendalon] Only if you're very weird
[Rosie 2] NO
[Juxtapose] YES! The very words on the card! *audience goes wild and jumps up and down*. Here, have the baton:
Aa! It's my first time, so be gentle.
Alright, here we go with ABSTRACT, involving multiple ANIMALish themes.
Multiple animals meaning many different species?
[Irouléguy] Many different species? NO.
Is this a 'saying' which references animals?
A characteristic of animals?
[Chalky] a saying? NO, but quite a clever guess.
[Rosie] A characteristic? A case for both sides here, but saying NO will be less misleading.
Are the animals referred to in the plural?
Are the animals human?
[Rosie] plural? Situationally dependent.
[ImNotJohn] human? YES, there is at least one human involved.
is this a tale or a fable or a story-type thingy?
Is this a form of 'art'?
I'm confused by some of the answers here. We have multiple animals, at least one human, but not many different species. So, in the interest of clarifying this:
Do the animalish themes ever involve a non-human animal?
[Chalky] fairy-tale? NO.
[Dujon] Art? NO.
[CdM] Non-human? YES.
Sorry for the confusion. There are human(s) and non-humans involved, but not "many".
Is this the name of a place?
'Old MacDonald had a farm'?
One man and his dog?
Is this fictional?
[J] Nonono, no need for apology; I was just clarifying.
What! 14 hours and NO replies? *grumblegrumblegrumble*
[Chalky]Place name? NO.
[Irouléguy] Old Mac? NO.
[Graham III] Man + dog? NO.
[CdM] Fictional? NO.
[Chalky] 14 hours and no replies? YES.
Connected to entertainment of some kind?
[CdM] Connected to entertainment? NO.
Is there more than one non-human species involved?
Is this the name of a group or society?
A true life story?
Is it connected to farming or animal husbandry generally?
Begins with a P?
What! 16 hours and NO replies?
[Irouléguy] More than one non-human species involved? KIND OF.
[Chalky] Group or society? NO.
[Chalky] A true life story? OFTEN.
[Kim] Farming or animal husbandry? NO. A case might me made for YES by someone trying to throw you off track.
[Tuj] One of the words begins with a P.
Do these true-life stories occur all over the world, or are they geographically specific?
Medical connections? [illness, disease - that type of thing]
Are the animals specifically pets or similar companion animals?
Connected with birth?
Are these animals alive?
What! 17 hou- oh, never mind.
*chuckles*
Is this an emotion?
Is this a BAD thing?
Is this a human construct?
[CdM] All over the world? YES. *audience members start nudging eachother awake*
[Chalky] Medical connections? YES! *excited noises*
[ImNotJohn] pets? NO.
[Quendalon] Connected with birth? NO.
[Chalky] Alive? YES.
[Chalky] emotion? NO.
[Chalky] Bad? Some might say no. I say YES.
[Chalky] Human construct? NO. Now let somebody else ask some.
Animal testing? (of cosmetics, or pharmaceuticals, or, I dunno, airbags or something)
[CdM] Animal testing? NO.
What! 12 hours and no question from Chalky?
Are the non-human animals fish?
Connected with agriculture / animal husbandry?
An anthropomorphization?
[Irouléguy] fish? NO.
[ImNotJohn] agri-husbandry? NO. (see Kim's question above)
[Quendalon] Antrhopomorphization? NO.
Fictional or fiction-related?
[Tuj] Fictitious? NO.
Summary time, and the living is easy
Fish are jumping...

We have an ABSTRACT involving multiple ANIMALish themes.

It is not: a saying (though the guess was described as 'clever'), fictional, art, a place-name, Old MacDonald had a farm, One man and his dog, connected to entertainment, a group or society, geographically specific (this question got applause), pets, connected with birth, an emotion, a human construct, animal testing, connected with agriculture or animal husbandry, an anthropomorphisation, or fictional. And the non-human animals are not fish, but they are alive. They belong to more than one species, but not to 'many' species.

It is: involving at least one human, something that happens all over the world, and with medical connections.

It might be: a true life story, and a bad thing. There may be more than one non-human animal involved (situationally dependent).

The answer includes: a word beginning with 'P'.
Are the non-human animals mostly one species?
Is it a title of something (book/film/etc)?
[Irouléguy] mostly one species? YES.
[Tuj] Title of media? NO.

[Re: Recap] "situationally dependent" was the answer to the following question: "Are the animals referred to in the plural?" The question "More than one non-human species involved?" had the answer "KIND OF", which I stand by.
Does it involve words?
Is it unique?
Is the non-human species visible to the naked eye?
Is it animal testing?
Kim - Is it animal testing? I refer the Honourable Gentleman to the summary above.
[Quendalon] "Does it involve words?" I'm not really sure how to give a yes or no answer to that which would be helpful. It is not word/language-based.
[Tuj] Is it unique? NO.
[Irouléguy] Is the non-human species visible to the naked eye? NO!
A bacterium/virus/etc responsible for a particular disease/medical condition?
[Irouléguy] A bacterium/virus/etc responsible for a particular disease/medical condition? YES.
Is the answer the disease/medical condition?
Feeling greedy - is the animal specifically a virus (as opposed to a bacterium or other thingy)?
[Irouléguy] Is the answer the disease/medical condition? YES.
[Irouléguy] is the animal specifically a virus? YES. *audience begins to gather coats and hats*
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Poliomylitis?
The common cold?
Does the disease affect one part of the body specifically?
Just for the sake of satisfying my own pedantry, I feel duty-bound to point out that generally viruses are not considered by most scientists as animals, for example because they are not living things, cannot self-replicate, and don't have a membrane separating themselves from the outside world. But that's probably a debate for another time. And yes I know that Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is (a) not a virus, and (b) only theoretical, but it's an amusing word.
[Graham III] Pneumonoultrafragilisticexpialidocious? NO.
[Somebody Else] Poliomylitis? NO.
[Quendalon] The common cold? NO.
[Graham III] Does the disease affect one part of the body specifically? Hmm. As in 'athelete's foot'? NO.
[Pedantry] I know there is some debate, but I did say "animal-ish" not simply "animal", and secondly if I had answered yes or no based on viruses being animals I think it would have been more misleading. I like to consider myself not an evil man.
Bird flu?
Is the disease commonly fatal?
Influenza? The common, non-avian kind?
[Quendalon] Bird flu? NO.
[Irouléguy] Commonly fatal? NO.
[irach] Influenza? NO.
Sexual contact as primary vector of infection?
Is the disease usually known by a colloquial name rather than a formal one?
[Quendalon] STD? NO.
[Irouléguy] A colloquial name? YES. *applause*
Black Death Bubonic Plague?
or any of the Bubonic Plagues?
The dreaded lurgy?
Chicken pox?
[Somebody Else] Assorted plagues bubonic? NO!
[Raak] The dreaded lurgy? NO!
[Quendalon] Chicken pox? SPOT ON! *audience goes wild* Thus the 'multiple animal-ish themes'. Please accept this sterilized and sanitized baton. Well done.
Thank you! It's been a while since I've held the baton. So, let's try:

MINERAL, with ANIMAL connections.
"Tigereye" gemstone?
Man-made?
[irach] Tiger's eye? NO.
[Rosie] Man-made? YES.
Are the animal connections human?
A mousetrap?
A mantrap?
[Rosie] No vegetable as in wood?
[Raak] Animal = human? NO.
[Rosie] Mousetrap? NO.
[Tuj] Mantrap? NO.
Birdcage? La Cages aux Folles?
Is the mineral/one of the minerals glass?
Is it a model of an animal?
Is it a fossil?
[irach] Cage (aux Folles or otherwise)? NO.
[Juxtapose] Is glass involved? OFTEN, after a fashion.
[Raak] Is it a model of an animal? Strictly speaking, NO. *interested murmurs from the audience*
[Kinrah] Fossil? NO.
A representation of an animal or animals?
[Raak] Representation of an animal(s)? NO.
A medical device?
Are the animal connections just one species?
Is it a glass etching of an animal?
Would this be an article manufactured for use on/with/for an animal (e.g. dog collar, cow bell, harness)?
[Rosie] Medical device? NO.
[Irouléguy] Just one species? Tricky, but I think the fairest answer would be NO.
[Kinrah] Glass etching? NO.
[Dujon] For use on/with/for an animal? NO.
Made of metal?
Does a typical Morniverser own one?
[Raak] Is metal involved? YES.
[Rosie] Property of a typical Morningverser? NO. *sardonic laughter from the audience*
Anything to do with farming?
[Rosie] Connected with farming? NO. (One could make a case for YES, but that would undoubtedly be misleading.)
Is the animal part a product of an animal, such as fur or skin?
[Chalky] Contains actual animal parts? NO.

To clarify, there are no organic animal components to speak of; if there were, it would have been MINERAL / ANIMAL. And in the interests of full disclosure, there are occasionally VEGETABLE elements, though pursuing that line of questioning is unlikely to be productive.
A building?
[CdM] A building? NO.
A shotgun?
Y'know, one o' vem Japnese mo'ors.
[Rosie] Shotgun? NO, neither single- or double-barreled.
a geographical feature?
[Chalky] Geography? NO.

On further consideration, [Chalky]'s previous question was incorrectly answered due to an overly narrow reading of it. So, to revisit:

[Chalky] Is the animal connection to a product of an animal? YES.
Leather?
Is it a container?
[Chalky] Leather? NO.
[Raak] Container? YES, although this may be misleading.
A milk bottle?
Would one usually find this in a home?
[Graham III] Milk bottle? NO.
[Chalky] Usually found in a home? NO.
Does this restrict hte movement on animals in any way?
"Of", not "on".
"The", not "hte". I dunno.
[Rosie] Restrict movement of animals? NO.
Time for a recap:

We have a MINERAL with ANIMAL connections.

It is NOT: "Tigereye" gemstone, human animal-ish, a mousetrap, a mantrap, a birdcage, a model or representation of an animal, a fossil, a medical device, owned by a typical Morningverser, connected with farming, made from an animal product, a building, a shotgun, a geographical feature, leather, a milk bottle, found in a typical home, used to restrain animals.

It IS: Man-made, made using metal as a component, connected with an animal product, a container.

It is SOMETIMES: made using glass as a component.

A contestant aroused audience interest when asking if it was a model of an animal.
A contestant aroused audience mockery when asking if a typical Morningverser owned one.
Is the 'Animal Connection' a result of its name (colloquial or otherwise)?
Glasses case?
A cow creamer?
Bigger than a telephone box with a toaster on top?
[Dujon] Animal connection originates from name? NO.
[Software] Glasses case? NO.
[Graham III] Cow creamer? NO.

Clarification/hint: The fact that the subject is a container isn't central to its identity.
[CdM] Bigger than a telephone box? NO.
Does it use a source of power?
[Raak] Uses power? NO.
Does it have artistic pretensions?
[Graham III] Artistic pretentions? YES. *applause*
Is it by Damien Hurst?
[Raak] Damien Hurst? NO.
Does a typical one cost in excess of two thousand pounds sterling ?
[CdM] Typically valued at over £2000? YES.
Faberge egg?
*KA-CHING!*
[irach] YES! (The words on the card are "an authentic Faberge Egg", but that's more than close enough.) Passing over an ovoid, richly bejeweled clockwork baton...
[irach] Are you there? It may be time for someone else to take over here...
All right then, a nice quick ABSTRACT in the meantime.
A human construct?
Begins with a "P"?
I'd just like to point out that this is the first time I have asked this question.
Humanly constructed? Yes.
P-begun? No.
Is it unique?
Is it fictional?
Unique? Yes is the best answer, although there is a case to be made for No.
Fictional? Yes. *applause*
Is the answer a work of fiction?
an apocryphal story?
Connected with politics?
still doesn't understand the concept of "A human concept"...
scratch -cept read -struct
A one word answer?
Work of fiction? Yes *applause*
Apocryphal? No.
Connected with politics? *amused laughter from audience* Some would say yes. Others (perhaps more?) would say no. One reasonable answer is "I don't know". Another is "if you like".
One word answer? No.

[IS,P!] At least as a working definition I take 'human construct' to mean something that requires the human brain for its existence. Most abstract things seem to be human constructs, but not all are. I would say that 'pain', for example, is not a human construct. There are thorny issues when we get into the old debate about whether mathematical issues are created or discovered. Is the following a human construct: on a Euclidean plane, any right-angled triangle has the property that the square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares on the other two sides? I'm not sure.
Religious?
(CdM) The property of plane right-angled triangles that you mention exists regardless of whether humans are aware of it or not. Maybe a better example would have been imaginary numbers which have no physical meaning until humans invented them and ascribed a meaning to them (a frequency, for example) but are a supremely useful mathematical tool.
Written in the last 100 years?
Religious? *more audience laughter*. It is not a religious work, but if you are asking if it has religious connections, I point you to the answer to "connected with politics", above.
Written in last 100 years? Yes.

[Rosie] Well, but there is also something odd about saying the Pythagorean theorem is not a human construct. As I say, the question of whether mathematics is invented or discovered has troubled philosophers of science for a long time, and I don't think it's as straightforward as you suggest, even in this case. Is the number "2" a human construct? But I'm getting out of my depth here, so I'll let the real mathematicians weigh in if they like.
Written in the last 50 years?
(Originally) written in English?
A novel?
Rosie] Isn't the concept of a 'right-angle' a human construct?
Last 50 years? No.
Originally written in English? *audience gasps and starts disputing amongst themselves animatedly* The best answer is clearly no, but a case could be made for yes.
A novel? No.
A poem?
(Primarily) intended for children?
Jabberwocky?
Just a wild stab in the dark...
Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled?
Speaking of wild stabs...
Seedy M? Where are you?
[Chalky] No, I don't think it's that. :-)
Poem? No.
Kid-intended? *audience laughter*. No.
Jabberwocky? *audience snickersnackering* No.
Scots wha hae? *audience chants "Jon-ny Wil-kin-son, Jon-ny Wil-kin-son* No.
Where am I? Sleeping. I live on the other side of the world from most of you lot, remember.
Is it a work based on another work?
Work based on another work? Another surprisingly difficult question. The best answer is No (corresponding to the best answer to "originally written in English?"), but a case could me made for Yes (corresponding to the case that could be made for "not originally written in English").
Anything to do with pseudoscience?
The Lord of the Rings?
Pseudoscience? Not in any way that I am aware of.
Lord of the Rings? No. (I'm pretty confident that was originally written in English. :-) )
Chalky? Where are you?
[CdM] I thought Tolkien translated it from the Red Book of Westmarch.
Is there written evidence of this?
[CdM] Sorry - I kinda thought I had the time difference worked out. [and, selfishly, fail to acknowledge that you may have 'other things to do' at the end of a working day].
Written evidence? I'm not sure what you mean. You already know that this is a work of fiction written between 50 and 100 years ago, and that a case could be made for it having been originally written in English.

As to where I was, it is true that your poem question came in before 10pm Singapore time, so on any given day there is a good chance I would be online then -- but not last night, as it happened.
A play?
The play's the thing? Yes. *applause*
Written by just one author?
One author? Yes.
Was it originally written, if not in English, then in Irish?
Originally written in Irish? No. *curiously, there is still a smattering of applause*
Irish author?
Is it performed much these days?
any moment now...
Irish author? Yes. *applause*
Performed much? Yes.
Samuel Beckett?
Beckett? Yes. *no sound from the audience because they have all left already*
This might be a good time to remind you of the circumstances in which I set the clue. :-)
Well yes, I did think of going straight there. I'll leave the last rites for someone else.
[ImNotJohn] Shall we go then?
Waiting for Godot [En attendant Godot]
That was tricky.

[CdM] Righty-ho. This may look nit-picky when it springs to life on screen but I promise, no criticism is intended - I'm thinking it's all down to my lack of understanding of the ABSTRACT word when used in this game. [which is why I asked the question "is there written evidence of this?" meaning "is this a tangible/material thing?"]
If anyone is interested enough to join in the discussion, I'd welcome other views.
As for a new puzzle, perhaps irach will return soon to take up the baton .
[Chalky] No, fair point, I should have probably added (with Vegetable Connections) to get at the physical incarnation that the play can take. I'm still not sure I exactly understand what you mean by written evidence, though. :-) Anything like a work of fiction is to my mind ABSTRACT, because it conceivably could exist without any direct physical incarnation (i.e., it could be stored as a bunch of ones and zeros, or simply by the neural firings of someone who has memorized it).

By the way, the words on the card were "Waiting for Godot", which I was taking to be the English version, which is why the questions about its previous incarnation in French were tricky: when Beckett wrote waiting for Godot, he didn't simply translate En Attendant Godot, but also made changes. Anyway, I'm done here.


He does not move.
yeah I know :-) You leap in to do a person a favour and some bozo wanders by and starts questioning everything. Still - I s'pose if no-one questioned anything in these forums, it would be a pretty dull place.

And no move from me. Irach??
missing persons
Still no irach? Shall I start a new one?
Sure, you did just win one. Take the baton.
[Quend] well - it wasn't really a 'win' as it had been signposted for some time. However, as I am home-based for a few days I'll happily take the chair.

A N I M A L
A fictional beast?
Human?
[IS,P!] a fictional beast? NO
[Software] human? YES
Alive?
Unique?
[Rosie] Alive? NO
[Quendalon] Unique? YES
British?
[Raak] British? YES *applause*
Died in the last fifty years?
I hope everything is ok with irach; it's not like him(?) to be gone this long.
[CdM] Died in last fifty years? NO
I think it's a 'he' and hopefully he's just on vacation.
Is any structure named after this person?
irach posted twice on Monday. I reckon he's forgotten about this game.
Boudicca?
Let the wild guessing begin!
Male?
Royalty?
Connected with the arts?
Bigger than a toaster? (trad.)
[Rosie] Is any structure named after this person? Excellent question! and YES - you might say that, in a manner of speaking, sort of. *audience already geared up for an early finish*
[CdM] Boudicca the wild? NO
[Kinrah] Male? YES
[INJ] Connected with the arts? YES *more applause*
[Phil] Bigger than a toaster? I'm sure he was :-)
sorry [Raak] Royalty? NO
Henry Tate?
[Raak] Henry Tate? NO
Connected with the Theatre?
[Kim] Connected with the theatre? NO - not specifically
Is the person known primarily as a creator of art?
Sir Arthur British-Museum?
Oh all right
A writer?
*straining to be heard above the cheering audience*
[CdM] Primarily a creator of art? YES
[INJ] A writer? YES to a lesser extent
Is the "structure" mentioned by Rosie a building?
[Kim] The structure mentioned by Rosie is NOT a building as such
Is it a bridge?
William Morris?
Is the "structure" outdoors?
Is the structure a monument?
[Kim] A bridge? Not in the way you may mean
[CdM] William Morris? NO
[Rosie] Is the 'structure' outdoors? It could be.
[Raak] A monument? Not really in the way you may mean. But in another sense 'monument' is rather an apt word.
Is this 'structure' actually a type of structure - i.e. there are many of them?
[INJ] Are there many of them? Ah, you picked up on my clue :-) YES, there are many of them.
*was feeling guilty - having been away from the PC for 5 1/2 hours. Not so now*
Keep 'em coming. I be off to bed now. Will be back at 0730 GMT.
Sir Christopher Wren?
No, can't be. That's rubbish. Get a grip, man.
A household or garden ornament named after "the person"?
Leslie Hore-Belisha?
Although if it is, someone else will have to set the next one. Off to pilg and Eastercon from today.
[Rosie] wren ...er ... Garden/Household Ornament? I don't think so - NO
[Raak] Leslie Hore-Belisha? NO
Does the "structure" come in different sizes?
[Kim] Differently sized? YES
Is the "structure" normally fixed in one place?
Is the 'structure' a 3-dimensional solid?
Taking something on paper or a flat surface to be 2-dimensional (to silence the quibblers)
[Kim] Fixed? Difficult to answer. Strictly speaking [insofar as the answer on the card is concerned] the 'structures' are fixed but under other circumstances might well be free-standing.

[INJ] 3 - dimensional? To be exact [insofar as the answer on the card is concerned] - NO but under other circumstances I would reply YES.

It may be helpful to find out more about the man rather than the 'structures', even though they are inextricably linked.
Does the name of the objects contain the person's name?
Did he die in the 19th century?
[Rosie] Do the 'objects' contain the person's name - YE-E-ES.
[Irouléguy] Die in 19th century? YES
Sneaking in ...
Thomas Bruce, the Seventh Earl of Elgin?
[Hi Software - welcome to this little conundrum] Thos Bruce, 7Th Earl etc? NO
Did this person develop a certain technique/style/method of doing something that is now named after him, so the objects are known as (something like) '<:Name>-ian <Things>'?
Is he a painter?
[CdM] Technique/style/method etc. Hmmm - the way he did it is not necessarily named after him [see answer to Rosie's question] but the content of what he produced most certainly is. The 'objects' in question are definitely known the way you have described.
[Rosie] Painter? A resounding YES!
William Turner?
When you are talking of structures or objects, is it correct that you mean something more this this gentleman's paintings?
Adolf Hitler?
[CdM] Turner? NO
[CdM] I'm SO glad you've asked this question *wry grin* and need to construct a careful reply without giving you the answer :-).
The structures/objects in question certainly define most of this gentleman's paintings. 'Something more'? - I would venture a YES in both an abstract and a material way.

[Quendalon] Adolf Hitler? No - this chap is British
Is there a "school" of painting (e.g. Dadaism) named after him?
[Phil] Is there a school named after him? Not that I know of, or can find evidence of.

Hint: He had a certain style of 'painting' both in the manner of execution and subject matter. This style then became synonymatic.
signing out for Easter
well- I'm sorry no-one seems to want to ask any more questions - because I'm now, due to family committments, 'not around' for a few days.
Is synonymatic a real word?
Turner and his clouds?
... yes I was in the V&A yesterday...
Notices someone else has said Turner
Frig. Constable, then.
Died in the 20th century?
sorry for delay - am rather ill at mo
[IS,P] Synonymatic? Yes
Turner? NO
Constable? NO
[INJ] Died in 20th century? Yes
Ummmm...Do you believe in reincarnation?
He died in the 19th and 20th centuries?
Would this gentleman have 'dabbled' in more than one medium?
Beardsley?
Ah yes, I missed Irg's question - So, we're looking for a poor late Victorian/Edwardian comedian who painted (and wrote a bit)
I'm too ill to carry on with this.

The Answer Is: this chap
Oh, damn. We should have got that. Good one. Hope you're feeling ok...
Red faces all round, I think.
Get better soon, Chalky.
In the absence of a winner, I'll happily take up the baton, as I've got a puzzler that I've been wanting to put forward for ages, if no one objects.
Of Course!
[Chalky]Commiserations - I'll have a whisky on your behalf.
[Kim] Please go ahead. Let me clear the way for you.
Begins with a P?
Anything to do with arachno-syndicalism?
That's a frightening thought
[Rosie] If those spiders get organised we won't stand a chance.
bigger than a toaster?
[INJ] My thoughts exactly. I was already tittering at Rosie's post when yours made me guffaw.
BANG! Oh, you've already started...
This is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections, so the answers so far are:
[Tuj] No.
[Rosie] No.
[IS,P] Minerally speaking, yes.
A phenomenon?
(INJ) Glad you read it accurately :-)
A piece of fiction?
[Rosie] You're a canny old thing, aren't you?
[Rosie] Boo-booo be doo-boop! N-N-No.
[Tuj] The answer least likely to lead you astray is No.
I have a sense that this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you lot.
Is it a piece of music?
Would this relate directly to religion?
[Raak] No.
[Dujon] Not directly, no.
Related to climate?
Is the animal connection human?
Is the mineral part a structure?
(Tuj) Possibly.
[Quendalon] No.
[INJ] Mostly.
[Rosie] No.
A written work?
A gathering of any kind?
A geographical entity?
[Quendalon] No.
[Rosie] No.
[INJ] Yes. *sustained applause*
A city?
Is it wholly or partially in the northern hemisphere?
Does any Morniverser live there?
Is the Abstract an event associated with this feature?
Southern Hemisphere?
A country?
[Irouleguy] No.
[Quendalon] No.
[Rosie] Almost certainly No and I hope to God not.
[INJ] No.
[Tuj] Yes.
[nights] *applause*. The only adequate answer to this question is Yes and No.
Antarctica?
Though that would lead us into the 'what is abstract?' debate again.
Fictional?
Would explain the 'abstract'?
[INJ] No.
If I were to devote much time to consideration of the "what is abstract?" question, I might conclude that the subject matter of our current discussion is actually ANIMAL/VEGETABLE/MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections, or even AMINAL/VEGETABLE/MINERAL/ABSTRACT. Fortunately, I'm far too busy to give it much thought.
Río Gallegos, Argentina?
A soulless dump, but with interesting weather.
The Roaring Forties?
[Kim] You didn't answer Bigsmith's last question
The Vatican City
blatantly lurking
Or the Holy See if you prefer
Bugger, ignore that. It would help if I read all of the answers.
[Rosie] No.
[INJ] No.
[Graham III] Duly ignored, as requested.
[Bigsmith] Apologies for missing your earlier question. It's a humdinger. The answer to it is Yes, but I fear that this will create more problems than it solves.
Based on a real country?
The Falklands War?
Is the answer a proper noun?
I've not been credited with a humdinger before - thank you!
Is the answer the name of a fictional work?
Sounds like we could be looking for a fictional account of a real place
Mordor?
[Quendalon] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Bigsmith] No. I've never dinged anyone's hum before, either.
[INJ] No.
[Juxtapose] No.
Is this fictional place in Africa?
[Irouleguy] No. Further trips along this route might (but only might) prove helpful.
Van Daemon's Land?
Above sea level?
In Australasia/Oceania?
Was this once a country but is so no longer?
I think the striking thing is that we are looking for a geographic entity that is not a proper noun, which rules out things like Shangri-La or Atlantis (both of which could also be ruled out on other grounds, I think, but anyway).
Was this place called something else in the past?
Is it defined by a physico-geographical property?
(Chalky) You OK now, gel?
The Lost World?
Chalky] Welcome back!
[Rosie, Iroulé] see chat.
With apologies for absence..
[Rosie] No.
[Quendalon] Y-Y-Yes.
[INJ] Y-Y-Yes.
[CdM] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie] N-N-No. Can you clarify?
[Irouleguy] No.
[Chalky] Welcome back. Hope you are fully recovered.
Polynesia?
(Kim) What I meant was something such as an archipelago.
A coral reef of some description?
[Rosie] No (not Polynesia and not an archipelago).
[Dujon] No.
I am trying to devise some form of clue that won't give the game away. On reviewing what has gone before, I feel that I am being fairly consistent and consistently fair in my responses, but I have to acknowledge that my answer of "No" to INJ's question "Antarctica" is not wholly correct (although "Antarctica" is not the answer on the card). The "What is Abstract?" debate may be worth revisiting in this context.
The ozone hole?
Depicted in sequential art?
The Ross ice shelf?
A migratory path?
[Rosie] No. Animal, vegetable and mineral are all involved.
[Quendalon] Not that I am aware of.
[Irouleguy] No.
[Dujon] No.
An Antarctic base?
[Rosie] No.
Is it on land?
[Quendalon] To the extent that it is Animal, Vegetable and Mineral it is on land (inasmuch as it is not underwater, in the air, in space or anywhere else) but bear in mind that I have said that it is ABSTRACT, with A/V/M connections (or, possibly, A/V/M/A, depending on your point of view).
anything to do with an Antarctic expedition?
[Rosie] No.
Related to Jonathan Swift?
[Quendalon] No.
[Everyone] I'm willing to offer a clue at this point, as I am detecting a slowing of momentum. Takers?
[Kim] Sure. I think we can also use a recap...
The South Pole?
[Rosie] No.
Clue
When is a country not a country? Think about it.
When it's an independent autonomous region of a people's republic?
[Raak] OK. Or...?
A recognised region (e.g. Patagonia)?
[Dujon] Yes! Recognised, or.....?
The unclaimed part of Antarctica?
only in italics
A place marked "Here be dragons"?
[Raak] No. And it's not Wales, either. Listen, is Tibet a country?
Las Islas Malvinas?
The roof of the world?
[Kim] Yes, except when it's an independent autonomous region of a people's democratic republic.
[INJ] No, but you're getting closer.
[Raak] Exactly. It all depends on your point of view.
Is it in South America?
[Raak] No.
South Georgia?
[Rosie] No.
Is it covered by the Antartic Treaty?
...or even the Antarctic Treaty..
Is it on or connected to a specific island or group of islands?
Are you going to answer my question?
(my fault, I know -- the italics thing)
[INJ] Neither.
[Quendalon] Difficult. I'd have to say Yes.
[CdM] Yes. No. Sorry.
Kerguelen?
The British Antarctic Territory?
[Rosie] No.
[Irouleguy] No.
Ilas Malvinas?
[Software] No.
Try asking me some questions about the country itself.
Does the country currently exist?
Is it populated by humans?
[CdM] Yes and no. It depends entirely on your point of view.
[Bigsmith] Yes is probably correct here, but distinctly arguable, if, in fact, it does not exist.
Do the people who populate it currently exist?
Is it an entirely natural feature?
Is it south of 45° S?
I'm getting really pissed off with this, but that's just me.
Is this a dissolved union/federation?
Is at an area of disputed territory that lies in part or wholly in Antarctica?
(I'm thinking particularly Chilean and Argentine claims here, but I'll keep the question more general.)
Actually, I think INJ's question may already have covered this...
Can we have a proper CLUE please Kim :-)
[Rosie] Agree. 18 days and counting is a bit much for this game.
Does it have military significance?
I looked up disputed territories in Oceania & Antarctica and got to over 50! Everything within the Antarctic circle is covered by the Antarctic treaty, plus some more areas as well, it can't be Antarctic as such.
Is this a fair summary of the facts gained so far?
The answer is a fictional entity that may or may not be a country that may or may not currently exist, but not a named place as it is not a proper noun (abstract). It is located in Australasia/Oceana, and the guess that it is a geographical entity drew sustained applause (mineral/vegetable). It is mainly populated by humans - in as much as it is a fictional place (animal). This is the sum product of 18 days' work!
Is it Mu?
El Dorado?
East Timor
Just to get the hatrick you see.
[G3] All proper nouns...
[Bigsmith] I have to acknowlege that I have misled everyone by stating, wrongly, that the answer is not a proper noun. It is. How I came to say that it isn't is beyond me. Truly sorry. *Hides face in embarassment*
[GIII] None of the above three.
[Everyone] I will answer all of the unanswered questions above AND provide a proper clue a little later on today.
Does the fictional part of this derive from one book/author/film/series of films?
[Kim] No worries - everyone else seems to have ignored that answer!
[Bigsmith] It seemed absurd...
[Quendalon] "It" is currently populated by living people.
[Rosie] "It" is not exclusively in the South Pacific and therefore not exclusively South of 45oS. I fully understand and sympathise with your frustration and I think it will be necessary to draw this particular round to an end within the next 48 hours.
[Dujon] "It" is not a dissolved union or federation
[CdM] "It" could be said to be an area of disputed territory that lies partly within Antarctica.
[Chalky] You deserve a better clue than my miserable efforts so far and I shall try to provide a decent clue in a separate post passim.
[INJ] Some of "it" has military significance.
[Bigsmith] A fair summary, which I would like to supplement, if you don't mind.

1. We have recently established that, although it is abstract, it is a proper noun, despite my asserting the contrary, which will probably haunt me forever.
2. The question of whether it exists or not depends entirely on your point of view, which is to say that some people would assert that it exists and others would assert that it does not. Its very existence is a matter of dispute. It is my belief that it does not exist and is therefore abstract.
3. To the extent that it does exist, it purports to be a country, that is to say, those who believe that it does exist refer to it by a name (yes, a proper noun; sorry, again).
4. To the extent that it does exist, it is substantially, but not exclusively in Australisia/Oceania. The question of the whole, or part of Antarctica has some up more than once and is relevant.
5. To the extent that it does exist, its territorial rights are in dispute.
6. To the extent that it does exist, it does not comprise a single landmass, but several.

CLUE
There is a strong biblical connection.
A diaspora?
Sheol?
I don't recall Antarctica being mentioned in the Bible.
Judging by your summary - is this 'place' really really big? Like - huge?
{Bigsmith] Not me! It's been driving me crazy. In fact i almost asked a couple of days ago if Kim was sure. But I'll still forgive him. Maybe.
Is there any part/element of this that we would all agree *does* exist?
In other words, is it the designation of this place that is under existential dispute, or the very place itself?
Is it a 'Lost Civilisation' - like Atlantis?
... and I am aware that CdM mentioned Atlantis some time ago :-)
[Rosie] No.
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] Its Wiki entry does not provide the landmass area in m2, but I would say that it is not "really, really big" (in comparison to, say, Africa).
[CdM] We can all agree that the landmasses that comprise it all really do exist. They are, without doubt, the Animal, Vegetable and Mineral parts of this. What we are testing, I think, is the Abstract element.
[Chalky] No.
Is belief in God (the Bible version) linked to belief in its existence?
[CdM] Yes, I too found the proper noun thing frustrating, glad it is clear now. I think I can bring myself to forgive Kim...just about!
Terra Australis [Incognita]?
The Maori Nation?
Do the landmasses that comprise it all include include Australia, or any part of the Australian continent?
[Bigsmith] Yes.
[Chalky] No.
[Phil] No.
[Irouleguy] No.
By the way...
Is it still possible to attach links here? The answer, when it comes, will best be shown by its Wiki entry.
Zealandia?
[Kim] Yes - you can attach links. I did so when I gave away the last turn.
Am confused by your reply to Irouléguy's recent question and Point 4 in your supplementary summary.
Sorry - scrub my last guess. Silly me. I'll try another one, if I may ....
Does the Abstract element in this refer to something that has been predicted to happen in this area?
Do any of those who believe that it exists believe themselves to currently be resident citizens thereof?
Do the landmasses that comprise it all include include any part of New Zealand?
Chalky] I just asked about the Australian continent - according to the Wikipedia entry, Australasia also includes New Zealand, and sometime also Papua New Guinea and associated islands. I suspect Kim means the South Pacific more generally.
[Chalky] No.
[Quendalon] I cannot find a definitive answer to this, but I think it is very likely that those who claim its existence do not live there and those who inhabit the landmasses would not claim to be citizens of it.
[Irouleguy] In the interests of getting this finished today, I am going to give away the physical location. CLUE: the landmasses that comprise the animal, vegetable and mineral parts of this are various Pacific Ocean islands and certain parts of Antarctica.
Is it connected to some specific Biblical event (e.g., the Flood)?
And is it connected to some particular flavor of Christianity?
[CdM] To be helpful, I will say that it is connected to a biblical legend, but not an event as such.
[CdM] I don't remember mentioning Christianity. If you question were "is it connected to some particular flavor of religion, the answer would be Yes and there would be some *applause*
CLUE: Those who believe that it exists claim that it is an Ecclesiastical Sovereignty.
That makes the result instantly Googleable, I think.
[Raak] Yep, found it. Do you want to do the honors? I wouldn't mind, but I just went a couple of rounds ago and I don't want to hog the spotlight.
The Dominion of Melchizedek (DoM)?
I'll take it if Raak doesn't want it :-)
Also .... if I happen to be correct - I am definitely at a PC for the next few days so can reply promptly, which helps the game move along.
*wishes she'd kept Heath Robinson under wraps*
[Chalky] Go on then, I was losing the will to live during this round.
[Raak] I was interested, but I was also way off on the wrong track -- I assumed it was some kind of Young Earth Creationist land bridge.
Whew!
Chalky wins the marathon! I would welcome feedback/discussion on this. Some of those questions were really hard to answer succinctly. *Hands baton to Chalky and runs off to hide"
*takes baton*
Kim] Yup - being 'in the chair' is tougher than it looks. I shall choose carefully and post a little later this evening.
later this evening
M I N E R A L
Oh, come on Chalky, that one's completely unreasonable!
[Kim] So, I was skeptical of that AVMA for the last week or so, particularly when it became clear that the answer was going to be something that I (and I suspect many other people) had never heard of. But, now, having looked up the quite wonderful DoM on the internets, I have changed my mind: I think it was an excellent AVMA subject despite its obscurity. My only quibble (well, other than the proper noun thing) is that I think the Bible hint was kind of misleading, in that it suggested a true religious link as opposed to a made-up-in-order-to-defraud-people religious link.

And you are right that the classification (A/V/M vs A) is very hard. I'm still not sure how I would describe it: my rules of thumb are letting me down here.
(CdM) As you say, the answer was something that very few people will have heard of and we would still be on this wild goose chase but for a very heavy clue from Kim. Frankly, I just can't see the point of this type of subject. It's a complete waste of one's time trying to get closer to an answer that is in effect not there as far as one's own general knowledge is concerned. I feel as if I and others have been made the butt of a rather stupid nerdy practical joke. It's really not what the game should be about.
[CdM] Huh. You might have at least asked a question [if only to give me a reason for being awake at this unearthly BST time].
Is it a human construct that begins with P and is bigger than a toaster?
Oh all right then.
Is it unique?
Tried and true.
[CdM] Human construct, P... , bigger than a toaster? YES, NO, NO
[Quendalon] Unique? YES and NO
Does it require batteries?
[Bigsmith] Batteries? NO
Is it usually to be found in the home?
[Bigsmith] Found in the home? YES - it can be
Could one buy it in a department store?
[Raak] Department Store? YES probably
When you say it's both unique and not, do you mean that there's only one thing called this, but it's mass-produced (ie a 1980 Suzuki GS850-GT)?
Hand-crafted?
[Irouléguy] It IS mass-produced but individually remains unique
[Quendalon] Hand-crafted? NO
Is it a proper noun?
[Kim] A proper noun? NO - but it's a bit prim
Is each one of these prim mass-produced objects unique it itself?
Does each have a unique serial number?
Is it made of pottery/ceramic/clay/glass type stuff?
[Rosie] mass-produced but unique in itself? That's what I said :-)
[Quendalon] Unique serial number? YES
[Software] pottery/ceramic/clay/glass? NO - none of the FOUR you have specified. Dunno about the 'type stuff' - perhaps you can be more precise? :-)
Is it a piece of electronic equipment?
[Raak] A piece of electronic equipment? Good question. Mmmmm .. NO
Does it inform one of the time?
[Kim] Your question made me guffaw and frighten my workmates. You are truly forgiven!
Is it bigger than a £1 coin?
[Bigsmith] Time piece? NO
[Irouléguy] Bigger than a £1 coin? Bigger? How do you mean? Area? Thickness? Width? Height? Bulk? Mass? More famous?:-)
[Irouléguy] Re: the size thing - I've just dashed off a spot of differential calculus and come to the conclusion that it IS and it ISN'T.
Does it have any moving parts?
I keep asking the same questions every time. Is this a sign of consistency or insanity?
Is it a battery?
[Quendalon] Moving parts? NO

[Raak] A battery? NO
Is it primarily made of metal?
Are these objects custom-made?
[CdM] Primarily metal? NO
[Rosie] Custom-made? NO
Primarily ornamental in nature?
[Quendalon] Ornamental? Most definitely NOT
Does it have anything to do with security?
Would this object contain a magnetic stripe?
[Raak] Security? sort of
[Dujon] Magnetic stripe? It's a bit late for me to look it up [mainly because I'm off to bed now], but YES - I think it could have one of those things
will be back at ten a.m. tomorrow
A plastic card (debit, credit, etc)?
Currency?
Is it worth more than £1?
late on parade
[Rosie] A plastic card? YES! *audience cheers but not for the parenthesised bit*
{Quendalon] Currency? NO
[Raak] Worth more than a £1? To some - maybe

Am entertaining the Sunday Lunchers today so may not be here til later this evening.
An Oyster card?
An identity card of some sort?
[Rosie] Actually, I don't think it's either of those [Oyster?] - but please keep asking because you are on the right track ...
[Rosie] ....and, on reflection, it's not an identity card per se but damn close to one
A driver's licence?
[rab] Your new system works well. I just hit the 'enter' key instead of the 'apostrophe' and managed to recover. Thank you.
Does it typically display a photograph of the owner?
[Dujon] I'd imagine that a driver's license is worth more than a pound to most people...
A library card?
A Nectar card?
AA membership card?
[Dujon] Drivers licence? NO
[CdM] Photograph? NO
[Rosie] Library card? NO
[Raak] Nectar card? NO
[Irouléguy] AA membership card? NO

Re: the point I made last night about being damn close to an ID card. Having slept on the matter, as it were, perhaps I should clarify:
It identifies something but not necessarily someone
Oh - previously [Dujon] question. It DOESN'T have a magnetic stripe, ie. it's not for swiping.
A bar code?
[Raak] A bar code? NO
Is it the same size as a credit card?
[rab] Does size matter? *audience applauds the question* It IS and then it ISN'T [see my reply to Irouléguy up the page] As an additional clue - not that it's needed at this stage because we're nearly there - in most countries, we think of it as somewhat smaller than a credit card.
Is it something we would normally expect to use/see on a daily basis?
[Graham III] use/see on daily basis? Use - YES. See - depends on viewpoint - ie. if you were manufacturing it, then yes. But normally NO - not daily, but certainly occasionally.
A SIM card?
Yay!
Raak has the very words on the card.
Well played. IMHO four days including a weekend is about right for this game. Of course, it depends on whether one is available to reply promptly, which I hope I was

*hands smart baton over*
Ok, the next is VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with ABSTRACT connections.
Begins with a P?
Smaller than a toaster?
A geographical feature?
Chalky] Smaller? How do you mean? Area? Thickness? Width? Height? Bulk? Mass? Of lower social status?;-)
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
[Chalky] Smaller in all of the ways which Irouléguy has enumerated.
I think I've simulposted which may make nonsense of my words. [Editor] Nothing new there then.
[Irouléguy] It's not really your place to say :-)
I'm content with Raak's reply *giggles at lower social status bit. In retrospect, that was funny. *
[Raak] See? That Iroulé bloke has distracted you - how about the geographical thing?
[I] Not a geographical feature. (There's not many of those that are smaller than a toaster!)
[C] I'm serious about the social status! This thing really does rank below the humble toaster.
Is it used to perform some menial task?
Is it manufactured?
Is the vegetable wood?
[B] Not for a menial task.
[r] Yes, manufactured.
[I] Could be wood in part.
Would one find it in the kitchen?
[S] Not related to the kitchen.
Is it typically found in the home?
Does it require a power source?
Larger than a SIM card?
[CdM] Not typically found in the home.
[B] Requires no power source.
[C] Larger than a SIM card.
Would an owner normally have just one of these?
Chalky] I know my place ;)
Is it something of practical utility?
Do people carry these things with them when out?
[I] An owner would have many.
[r] Very practical.
[R] If they have them, they would.
A clarification of my last answer to CdM: a typical home would not have any, but a typical one of these might well be in someone's home.
Is it something one wears?
[rab] One does not wear it.
A golf tee?
Is the mineral bit solid metal?
Is this a projectile?
A walking stick?
Shut up at the back there.
[I] Not a golf tee.
[C] Not solid metal.
[D] Not a projectile.
[R] Not a walking stick.
Is it mostly for use outside the home?
Is its practical utility restricted to one thing only (ie, does it have more than one use)?
Is the vegetable bit wood?
[rab] Yes, mostly used outside the home.
[Kim] Um. It does one thing, but that one thing has many uses.
[Software] See INJ's question earlier.
Connected with travel or motion?
Does it include an implement for getting Scouts out of horses hooves?
[Chalky] Nothing to do with travel or motion.
[Kim] Not a Swiss Army penknife.
Would one normally keep these objects in one's pocket?
[Bigsmith] Yes, one's pocket is a typical place to carry these (although the typical pocket does not contain any).
Is it an object that is only carried on particular occasions?
Is it something one would look through?
Is there a particular kind of person (e.g., age, occupation, specialized interest) who is most likely to carry these objects?
Are these objects more likely to be used by a specific gender?
Is there anything written on it?
A box/book of matches?
[R] Not related to particular occasions.
[r] Not for looking through.
[C] Yes! A particular sort of person would deliberately have these.
[B] Not gender-related.
[Q] Yes, there is stuff written on it (using the word "written" rather generally).
[S] Not a book or box of matches.
Is it used in a game?
[rab] Not used in a game.
Do people use these for work?
Is it a form of 'currency'?
Is any part of it edible, potable and/or smokable?
[I] In a sense, some people do use these for work.
[C] *at last, the audience exercise their applause muscles* It is a form of currency!
[Q] You can't eat or drink it, and one wouldn't want to smoke it.
A five euro note?
Is it "sterling"?
Is it a well-known phrase to describe a type of currency ?
and was this currency used in the past?
sorry .... a bit greedy with 2 questions - but I'm orf to bed now, have an early start, etc etc.
[CdM] Not €5.
[rab] Not sterling.
[Chalky] Not a well-known phrase.
[Chalky] I dare say that this form of currency is as old as currency itself.
Change?
Casino chips?
[Rosie] Not change.
[Chalky] Not casino chips.
Is this paper currency?
Beer token? :o)
Is it a voucher of some kind?
From the U S of A?
[Chalky] *cheering* It is paper currency.
[Software] Not a beer token.
[Kim] Not a voucher.
[Bigsmith] Not specifically from the USA.
An IOU?
A pawn ticket?
The thing you get from the dry-cleaners?
[CdM,Chalky,Kim] None of these are what I would call paper currency.
One of the earliest answers may now prove illuminating.
OK - is it a banknote of some kind?
Am intrigued by the 'wood in part' reply [or was that a reference to paper?] Also, the fact that it ranks below the humble toaster
[Chalky] *applause* It's a banknote of some kind. The wood was indeed a reference to paper. *A ripple of anticipation as Chalky seizes on the significant earlier answer.*
Is the monetary value of this banknote insufficient to conduct the purchase of an average price toaster?
[Bigsmith] From one point of view, it could be, from another, it couldn't be enough to buy a toaster.
A promissary note?
[by way of explanation] some bank notes are promissory notes, some are not.
A forged banknote?
Is its use confined to professionals in the world of finance?
A traveller's cheque?
Is it official currency of any nation at the present time?
[G3,R,K,Q] No, because...
[Chalky] It is a forged banknote.
Hands over a wad of fivers all with the same serial number.
Wahay!
Thanks Raak. We seem to be on the same wavelength :-)
[I thought I knew the solution when you replied half an hour after my 'banknote' question. But I did wait for 3 hours.)
Now - we have this:

A N I M A L with a tinge of ABSTRACTINESS

A Cheshire Cat?
A human being who is bigger than a toaster and smaller than a telephone box?
Cézanne?
Is this animal used as a symbol?
A mascot?
[Rosie] cat from cheshire? NO
[CdM] A human being? YES :-)
[Irouléguy] Cézanne? NON
[Raak] Animal as symbol? N-N-NO
[Software] A mascot? NO
A singloe, specific individual?
[Raak] A specific, singly individual YES
A figurehead in some way?
Alive?
[Phil] A figurehead? Not sure what you mean but I'd say NOT
[Irouléguy] Alive? NO
Someone who has given his/her name to an idea?
[Rosie] Given name to an idea? GOOD QUESTION. YES - in a manner of speaking [that's the abstracty bit]
Robin Hood?
artistic connections?
Died in the 20th century?
[Kim] Robin Hood? NO
[INJ} Artistic connections? NO
[Iroulé] Died in 20th century? YES
Is this person noteworthy in regards to religion?
An academic?
[Quendalon] Religion? NO
[Raak] An academic? Of a kind - YES
Belgian European?
Sigmund Freud?
[CdM] European? Close YES
[Rosie] Freud? NO
Philosopher?
[Graham III] Philosopher? NO
A writer?
[Rosie] Writer? NO
A very dear friend died of cancer this afternoon. Can we convene on Monday ? I'm doubly sad today.
[Chalky] Sorry to hear that.
[Chalky] What Raak said. Such times are always hard. You've got friends who are thinking of you.
Chalky] What Raak and CdM said - imagine a collective hug wending its way to you.
[Chalky] Take all the time you need. We'll just check in from time to time.
[Irouléguy ] You means a wrappy wending?
Thank you all :-)
I must confess I was rather the worse for wine maudlin the early hours of Sunday. Many of his friends decided to go ahead with an already planned get-together Saturday night which was absolutely the right thing to do.
OK - let's be having some more questions ... perhaps beginning with the sex/occupation of this person ...
Is it a transsexual?
[Graham III] Transexual? Not as far as I can tell - although if one dug deeply enough ...
Did this person have a sex occupation?
[CdM] Sex occupation? NO - I've dug deeply and have found no record of any how's-yer-farver professionally, advisorililly, subversively or personally.
Female?
Suppose I ought to ask a sensible question.
Politician?
[Graham III] Female? NO
[Kim] Politician? NO
A composer?
[Rosie] Composer? NO
Entertainer?
Heath-Robinson?
[Softers] Entertainer? NO
[CdM] Heath-Robinson! NO! but it could so easily have been ...
Died in the latter half of the 20th Century?
Rube Goldberg?
[Kim] Latter half of C20? NO - very much the first half [nearly the first quarter]
[Projoy] Rube Goldberg? NO [nice to see you here :-)]
A scientist?
Economist?
[Projoy] A scientist? YES! * audience emerges from its stupor and attempts a mexican wave*
[Kim] Economist? NO *audience calms down a bit*
French?
[Projoy] French? NO
Albert Einstein
Hmm, a scientist, but only a sort-of academic...
[Graham III] Albert Einstein? NO but ... very very close *gasps of genuine anticipation from audience*
Scientist AND academic - aren't all scientists academic?
Planck?
Einstein wrote his most famous papers while working as a clerk, I believe, rather than being in a University.
Werner Heisenberg?
Of course I am Uncertain about this and have a feeling Projoy has it.
Schrodinger?
[PJ, Rosie, Quend] NOT Planck, Heisenberg or Schrodinger. Clue: All are the wrong nationality.
British?
Died before 1920?
[Raak] British? NO
[Projoy] Died before 1920? NO
Niels Bohr?
[Graham III] Bohr? NO
German?
[Kim] German? I refer the Honourable Crescenter to my reply to PJ, Rosie & Quendalon
Enrico Fermi?
[Chalky] As it happens, Schrodinger was Austrian. :-)
Sigmund Freud?
Dutch?
Arrhenius?
[Quendalon] Yes, I know Schrodinger was Austrian [as I am also aware that the other two were German ]- which is why I said that all 3 were the wrong nationality. I rather thought I was being helpful ... and didn't expect it to come back and bite me on the bum... :-)
[Q] Fermi? NO
[Phil] Freud? NO
[[Projoy] Dutch? YES! *audience girds its loins*
[Quendalon] Arrhenius? NO
van der Waals?
[Rosers] van der Waals? NO
Anthony Fokker?
Hendrik Antoon Lorentz?
[Software] Fokker? hell no :-)

but Graham III proves that persistence pays off by nailing the man. Well played Sir!
*passes on the electromagnetic baton*
Yayyyy!
We get there eventually. So, moving swiftly on:

ABSTRACT with various mineral and animal (and probably vegetable) associations/manifestations
The Man Who Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo?
[Chalky] Damn, but you're good. That's obviously correct.
[Chalky] TMWBtBaMC? No, 'fraid not.
God?
[GIII] Oh come on! It's completely against the rules to change the subject after the first guess!
A geographical feature/features?
[Raak] God? NO
[CdM] That would make for a long game. I don't have the patience...
[Irouléguy] Geography? NO
A written work?
Begins with a P?
A human idea/invention etc?
[Quendalon] Written? NO.
[Tuj] Pee? NO
[Rosie] Human? YES!
Invented in the last 100 years?
Connected with chemistry and/or biochemistry?
Is this an emotion/feeling?
A creative activity?
Stigmata?
I can be just as stupid as the next poster, GIII.
[Tuj] Last century? NO, but examine your assumptions.
[Quendalon] Chemie? NO, except possibly indirectly (I say that for completeness - not a helpful line of thought)
[Chalky] Emotional? NO
[Rosie] Creative? NO, not obviously.
[Dujon] Stigmata? NO, dur. ;-)
Named after a specific person?
Is this concerned with the acquisition of knowledge?
[Quendalon] YES/NO - named after two people. Finding them is unlikely to be a fruitful avenue of questioning, but maybe a pertinent fact later on in the game.
[Rosie] Knowledge-hungry? NO
Discovered in the last 100 years?
Any better? ;)
Is it a comet?
[Tuj] NO, and NO. :-)
[Kim] Tailed sun-circler? NO
Connected with money and/or economics?
[Quendalon] YES! *audience applauds with vigour*
The Chicago school?
Marxist-Leninism?
A unit of currency?
Is this an index?
[Raak] Friedmanesque? NO, see Quendalon's question above
[Rosie] Stalinesque? NO.
[Phil] CU? NO
[Dujon] Index? NO.
Do the names of the two people appear on the card?
and since I'm feeling greedy
Were the two eponymizing individuals both born before 1900?
[CdM] Difficult to answer your first question helpfully. I suggest you re-read Quendalon's question, and my answer.
pre-1900? YES!
Malthuniasism?
[Software] Malthusianism? NO, he was only one person I believe.
Clue: More questioning about the nature of this thing will yield much better results than the current line of questioning.
Is it a game?
Is it a theory?
Connected with representative money?
[Chalky] Game? NO
[Software] Theory? NO
[All] Game Theory? Two wrongs don't make a right
[Quendalon] Representative? Certainly has some related aspects, but not a connection you would naturally think of if someone mentioned this.
A piece of technology?
Connected with the transport of material goods?
[Rosie] Techie? NO
[Quendalon] Transport? NO
Is it connected with economics but not necessarily with money?
[GIII] Having reread Q's question and your answer I'm still none the wiser. :-) I get your advice to pursue other lines of questioning, but I'm puzzled as to why my pretty straightforward question is hard to answer (I don't doubt that it is; I'm just puzzled as to why). So let me look for clarification. We've established that this is named after two people.
Does the name (or some word/variant directly derived from the name) of at least one of these individuals appear on the card?
[CdM] Connected with economics but not necessarily with money? NO, more the other way round
Does the name (etc.) of at least one of these individuals appear on the card? YES!
[CdM] By way of a clue, if you were to remove one consonant from your original question (and twist the grammar to fit), I would have been able to answer YES, and you would have been further advanced. Because of that consonant, the answer (strictly) would have to be NO, but only because of pedantry and semantics. I therefore declined to answer in the hope of being helpful...
Do the two people have the same surname?
Marks and Spencer?
Barclays Bank?
Gresham's law?
[Irouléguy] Named for Thomas Gresham and John Law, right?
[Phil] YES! *audience applauds wildly, as Phil has got the key fact behind the name!
[Rosie] M&S? NO
[Irouleguy] Gresham & Law? NO, but:
[Chalky] Barclays Bank? YES! *Audience goes wild, applauding and generally fawning over Chalky*
CdM, GIII] According to Wikipedia, the expression "Gresham's Law" dates back only to 1858, and was coined (ho ho) by British economist Henry Dunning Macleod. Two people involved, only one surname in the answer, about money rather than economics - I was slightly straw-clutching, and it seemed possible.
Well done, Chalky - you're on a roll at the moment!
And another thing
Has there beem some confusion between Barclays Bank, which is as old as the hills and owes it name to one individual, and the squillionaire Barclay brothers, who own the Torygraph amongst other things. I only arsk.
[Rosie] Not according to Wikipedia. "The bank took its name from Alexander and David Barclay, who provided credit to transatlantic slave traders." I checked Barclays own site, but they don't seem to want to talk about their history...
Blimey - I wasn't really trying to win that one - particularly as I've been in the chair rather a lot recently. It's a busy week ahead for me [mainly away from my PC], so would anyone else like to take over?
[Chalky] I'd better not.
[Rosie] What CdM said - as you say, there appears to be some confusion... ;-)
[Chalks] I'LL do it! That is, if it's okay with everybody.
*in power-hungry mode*

[Graham III] I've just looked back to the beginning of this game and now understand why the audience felt duty bound to 'generally fawn' over me when I answered correctly. Pure guilt. For what, you may ask? For not even a merest rustle of surprise and astonishment when my, and the very first question, was SO CLOSE! Even the esteemed CdM knew I was right on the button. And they didn't applaud him either. :-) :-)

So if I am allowed to nominate - I shall choose CdM - and if he isn't available to take up the baton, I shall launch another one
ooh - simulpost.
[Juxta] Are you available to reply to questions regularly - like, more than twice in 24 hours? because that doesn't 'arf drag it out
[Juxtapose] Go for it!
[Chalky] Go for it!
[Juxtapose] Perhaps it would be fairer to allow someone - if not CdM :-) - who actually contributed towards the last puzzler to come forward first?
*maintaining stance*
I don't mind doing one, as I really thought I was going to get the last one :-)
[Phil] Excellent. Was hoping you'd appear :-)
Well, I do tend to check in about 8 times a day, and I haven't done one for yonks, so I vote for me ;-)
If no-one objects, I'd like to set the next challenge as ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections
Human construct?
Begins with a "P"?
Been dying to ask that one!
An artistic work?
Does it have anything to do with fish?
[Chalky] I suppose on reflection you were sort of close with your first guess... My bad, as they say somewhere.
Is the animal human?
A philosophy?
I've Got a Loverly Bunch of Coconuts?
An anarcho-syndicalist recipe
[Chalky] No Comment.
[Kim] Human construct? YES
[Bigsmith] P? NO
[Raak] Artistic work? NO
[GIII] Piscine? NO
[CdM] Phil O'Sophy? NO
[Chalky] Your bunch? Very impressive, but NO
[INJ] Anarcho-thingy-whatsit? NO
Anything to do with mobile phones?
[Tuj] Mobile phones? NO
Some form of study?
[Rosie] Some form of study? Strictly-speaking, NO, although some study would normally be associated.
Phil - Is this abstract thing something that people would do for a living, say?
Would this be some form of skill?
A legislative activity?
[Chalky] Done for a living? NO - a murmur of appreciation from the audience for an almost useful question
[Dujon] A skill? NO
[Rosie] Legislative activity? NO
Is the vegetable connection paper?
Phil] You missed out my previous question.
[Irouléguy] Huge apologies:
Is the animal human? YES
Is the vegetable connection paper? Partly - some hesitant applause
Is this a form of entertainment?
A recreational activity of some kind?
[Chalky] Entertainment? NO A couple of amused chuckles
[CdM] Recreational activity? Having looked up definitions of "recreation", I fell compelled to say YES, but it might not be what springs to most minds as recreation.
Anything to do with the law?
[Rosie] Law-related? NO
Is writing involved?
Is the animal a character of fiction?
Is the definition of recreation under which you answered YES to one of the previous questions as a result of the second sub-definition within the second definition in Chambers?
That's here.
[CdM] Writing involved? Not necessarily, but it would be normal.
[Kim] Fictional animal? NO
[GIII] Did I mean "a new creation"? NO.
In fact, using the Chambers definition, I would say a definite YES to CdM's earlier question on reacreational activities, rather than my earlier vacillation.
Does an instance of this activity involve more than one human?
[Quendalon] an instance involving more than one human? It can do, but it doesn't have to.
So, the definition is "a pleasant, enjoyable and often refreshing activity done in one's spare time." The answer is therefore clearly

Drinking Beer.

Phil's confusion was understandable, since he typically does not do this in his spare time.
Philately?
Some kind of music making activity?
[CdM] Drinking Beer? NO (remember, it's not done for a living)
[CdM] Philately? NO - considerable applause from the suddenly-revived audience
[Chalky] Music-making? NO
So we are looking at a hobby of some sort, in which through study a level of expertise may be achieved?
Does it involve the accumulation of items over time?
[Bigsmith] A hobby? YES *some applause*
[Bigsmith 2nd half of question] Gaining a level of expertise? I suppose so, but I wouldn't focus on that if I were you.
[GIII] Accumulation of items? YES *vigorous applause*
Are the items made primarily of paper?
Is the wearing of an anorak a requirement for the complete enjoyment of this hobby?
Beermat collecting?
[Raak] Made primarily of paper? After a little extra research, YES, the items accumulated are usually primarily made of paper (carefully-worded answer) - *some applause and a little discussion amongst audience members*
[Chalky] Anorak-wearing? NO - *appreciative laughter*
[GIII] Beermat collecting? NO
Is the focus for collection the items themselves, or some feature (e.g. writing) on the items?
[GIII] Items or writing on them? Strictly speaking the answer should be YES. But as it's Friday, I'll answer that the focus would be on some feature (e.g. writing) on the items. *Some more applause*
Made of papier mâché?
Autograph-hunting?
[Raak] Mashed paper? NO
[Irouléguy] Philography? NO
Cigarette card collecting?
[Phil] Thanks. I was lazily trying to get two questions in at once...!
[GIII] Cartophily? NO *audience is eagerly awaiting a correct guess, although a few think that Irouléguy's second question might be useful*
Flower pressing?
Some form of ticket?
This may violate the specified non-anorakiness.
Is the writing hand-written or printed?
Are the collected items mass-produced?
[GIII] Oshibana? NO
[Rosie] Ticket collecting? NO. On reflection, I think the activity is a bit anoraky, but I don't think it's required.
[Irouléguy] written or printed? Printed
[Quendalon] Mass-produced? YES
Is the collected item entirely vegetable?
This is strongly implied by previous answers, but I wanted to confirm. Also, interestingly (or perhaps not), when I first asked about recreation, I almost said hobby.
Is it made of cardboard?
Sports card collecting?
Top Trumps?
[CdM] Is the collected item entirely vegetable? There may be small traces of mineral, namely printing ink and ingredients in paper, but otherwise YES. (Hobby would have been a much easier question to answer).
[Raak] Made of cardboard? NO
[Quendalon] Sport cards? NO
[Chalky] Top Trumps? NO

[Everyone] As I mentioned earlier. the items accumulated are normally primarily made of paper. The items collected to provide that accumulation are not, but are still almost entirely vegetable. If that doesn't confuse the matter, I don't know what will ;-)
Phillumeny?
Scratch that, we've already established that it doesn't begin with a "P".
[Quendalon] Phillumeny? NO. Nor is it matchbook/matchbox collecting, for that matter.
Are the items collected labels of some sort?
[INJ] hmm - I was going to ask the same question ;-)
... and if the answer is 'YES' ...
[INJ] Labels? NO
Would this item cover a beermat?
You know. Them things.
[Rosie] Big enough to cover a beermat? NO - at least not in my experience or knowledge
Sucrology?
Kind of a shot in the dark. But if it's a game-winner, that'd be pretty sweet.
Do people [who don't indulge themselves] regard this hobby in a .... sort of, derogatory way?
I can't help thinking about your reply to my question "Is this a form of entertainment" and you said NO and the audience actually chuckled.
[Chalky] A disrespected hobby? NO - The couple of people who chuckled were (like me) amused by the thought of someone exhibiting their collection for entertainment purposes. Probably not very helpful chuckles, but chuckles nonetheless.
[Quendalon] Sucrology? YES - Congratulations, it is the collecting of sugar sachets and sugar cube wrappings. The sweet smell of success is yours. The difference between the collected items (mostly not paper) and the accumulated items (mostly paper) is that sucrologists remove the sugar post-collection and pre-accumulation. The UK Sucrologists Club has around 320 members, publishes a quarterly newsletter called "Sweet Thoughts", and offers a link to (amongst others) the Berlin Museum of Sugar.
(Phil) A bit anorakky?? Positively pathetic, certifiable etc etc. I dunno.
Well, that was interesting! Let's move on to the next item:
Animal and/or Vegetable, with Abstract connections
Begins with P?
[Tuj] Starts with P? NO. *amused laughter from the audience*
Something people eat or drink?
[Irouléguy] Edible/potable? NO.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
One of those blocks, often round, found in public urinals?
Well, give me a break, I don't know what they are called. They usually have a (strong) scent and might have disinfectant properties.
Is the animal element human?
[Dujon] "Urinal blocks" is the disappointingly mundane term you're after.
Life?
(Phil) May be disappointingly mundane but intriguingly ambivalent, given the undesirablilty of a blocked urinal.
[Chalky] Bigger than a toaster? Bigger? How do you mean? Area? Thickness? Width? Height? Bulk? Mass? More famous? ;-)
[Dujon] Urinal cake? NO.
[Phil] A human(s)? NO.
[Rosie] Life? NO.
Does it have anything to do with bodily functions?
Is there more than one of these?
Ends with P?
Is there just one animal involved?
Would you be most likely to find one of these in a house?
[Kim] Bodily functions? NO.
[INJ] Unique? NO.
[Raak] Ends with P? NO. *audience laughs*
[Irouléguy] More than just one animal involved? There are several ways to interpret this question; I think the least misleading answer would be YES.
[Tuj] Likely to find one in a house? NO.
Anything to do with food?
Any connection with language?
[Rosie] Related to food? NO, not really.
[INJ] Connection with language? YES. *applause*
Is it an embroidery sample of the alphabet?
[Phil] Embroidery sampler? NO. *muttering from the audience*
Does this involve the whole animal, or just parts of it?
[Irouléguy] Whole animal or just parts? Just parts
Is it a Scrabble tile?
[Tuj] Scrabble tile? NO.
Is lettering involved?
[Phil] Lettering? NO.
Object or objects involved in writing?
Would someone use this in their place of work?
Would you describe this as an illustration?
Are these found throughout the world?
So this is connected to language but the animal element is not human... Wow.
[Rosie] Involved in writing? NO.
[Chalky] Used in a place of work? NO, at least not in any modern workplace.
[Dujon] An illustration? NO, I wouldn't describe it as such, though I suppose an argument could be made.
[CdM] Found throughout the world? Technically YES, although a NO would be less misleading.
[CdM] Fair enough, there's a human connection, but that's not the animal connection specified in the challenge parameters.
Is the animal part leather?
Is this a type of signage?
[G3] Leather? NO.
[Chalky] Signboard? NO.
Is this an object that is best known because it features in a literary work?
[Chalky] Featured in a literary work? NO, not to my knowledge.
Primitive art?
Eg Cave paintings, white horses, men with enormous plonkers etc?
[Rosie] Primitive art? NO. *interested muttering from the audience*
But is it art?
[Tuj] Art? NO.
Graffiti?
[Chalky] Unartistic graffiti? NO.
Did this exist in the past?
[Chalky] Existed in the past? YES! *applause*
Is the animal part feathers?
[Rosie] Feathers? NO.
That was quick. Bones, then?
[Rosie] Bones? NO.
Is the animal part skin?
Is the vegetable element paper ?
[Irouléguy] Skin? NO.
[G3] Paper? NO.
A single unique thing?
[Tuj] Unique? NO. *approving nods*
Fewer than ten?
;)
[Tuj] < 10? NO. :-)
Is this a catch-all description for multiple and variable instances?
[G3] Could you rephrase? I'm not 100% certain I grasp the meaning of the question.
Hieroglyphs?
I possibly should have said "multiple and unique instances". For example, a solution which would require the answer YES would be "Impressionist paintings", or "skyscrapers", a solution which would require the answer NO would perhaps be "Tyres" or "Lenovo T62 Thinkpads". On reflection a crap question.
[G3] Egyptian squiggles? NO.
[G3] Per the "multiple and unique instances" question, it's a good question, but rather ambiguous. I think the thing under discussion falls somewhere in between your two examples.
So... manmade?
Well, we seem to have got a whole heap of nowhere so far!
[Tuj] Manmade? Definitely YES. (Do you need a recap?)
Would you find this in a museum?
Does this always involve the same part of the animal (ie limb, organ)?
[Chalky] In a museum? YES.
[Irouléguy] Same animal component? YES.
Is this a container of some sort?
[Rosie] Something to put other objects into? NO.
Does this involve multiple species?
A totem pole?
[Irouléguy] Multiple species? Collectively YES, individually I DON'T KNOW.
[Chalky] Totem pole? NO.
Something to do with fossils?
[Kim] Fossils? NO.
Are we talking fur/pelt here - or BLOOD!?
..ahem - just trying to inject a touch of drama :-)
[Chalky] Animal fur/hair? YES. (Blood? NO. :-)
A form of apparel?
[Dujon] Garment / accoutrement? NO.
Inca 'talking knots' - quipus/khipus?
[Irouléguy] Quipu? YES! *wild cheers from the audience* You've tied all the clues together and untangled a rather knotty problem. Good job!
Well, I can't claim all the credit - I was in cahoots with the others.

For a change of pace, our next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.
Begins with S?
[Quendalon] Nice one.
CdM] Begins with S? Sadly not.
Begins with a vowel?
Fictional?
Observable in nature?
Chalky] Begins with a vowel? On
Raak] Fictional? Dr. No
Kim] Observable in nature? *animated buzz in the audience* I'm very glad you asked me that...

I can see a case for answering either way, but I think 'yes' is less misleading
Is it visible or audible?
Is the animal connection human?
CdM] Is it visible or audible? Hmm...insofar as it is 'observable', you would have to say it's visible. Audible, no.
(Quendalon] Is the animal connection human? Yes
Is it a meteorological phenomenon?
Kim] Is it a meteorological phenomenon? No
Related to astronomy?
Quendalon] Brother Sun, Sister Moon? *applause* YES
Is it a constellation?
Kim] Is it a constellation? You cannot be Sirius, man!
Does this change from moment to moment even though retaining its description?
A collection of objects?
Dujon] Does this change from moment to moment even though retaining its description? *cries of 'oooh' and 'aaah' from the audience* In one sense, that's a very good description of it, but it doesn't get you any nearer.
Rosie - A collection of objects? No - this isn't a physical thing or things.
An aura of some sort?
[Iroulé] How do you know that your reply to Duj won't get him any nearer ? ;-)
Is it within the Solar System (understood as everything out to and including the Oort cloud)?
Chalky] An aura of some sort? No
Good point - I suspect it won't get him or anyone else any nearer, then.
Raak] Is it within the Solar System (understood as everything out to and including the Oort cloud)? Bearing in mind my answer to Rosie's question, yes.
anything to do with Astrology?
Does it relate to the movement or path of some celestial object?
Chalky] anything to do with Astrology? Fortunately, no.
ImNotJohn] Does it relate to the movement or path of some celestial object? *applause* YES - though 'relate' isn't perhaps the most appropriate verb.

Some assumptions should perhaps be re-examined.
When Venus is in conjunction with Mars?
Chalky] When Venus is in conjunction with Mars? No, no sexual connotations.
Named after a specific person?
The ecliptic?
An apogee?
Quendalon] Named after a specific person? *some giggling in the audience* For a particular value of 'person', yes.
ImNotJohn - The ecliptic? No
Phil - An apogee? No

A transit of Venus?
The Clarke Orbit?
Currently accepted as scientifically valid/viable/real/true?
ImNotJohn] A transit of Venus? No
Chalky] The Clarke Orbit? Well, I never knew that - a fitting memorial. Thanks, Chalky - that led me into a very pleasant Google. What Wikipedia doesn't say is whether there are other inventions/phenomena named after SF writers - does anyone know of others?
It's not the answer, though.
Quendalon] Currently accepted as scientifically valid/viable/real/true? Correct/accurate/exact/accepted even by flat-earthers and creationists.
The Kirkwood Gaps?
Is the animal connection the "named 'person'" from Quendalon's question?
It has animal and mineral connections, but no vegetable connections, which suggests the earth is not directly involved.
Rosie] The Kirkwood Gaps? No
CdM] Is the animal connection the "named 'person'" from Quendalon's question? Not the main one.
CdM thinking aloud] It has animal and mineral connections, but no vegetable connections, which suggests the earth is not directly involved.
I don't agree - the answer could be 'the equator' or 'the stratosphere', neither of which I would think of as having vegetable connections. This is an abstract, after all - the animal and mineral connections are the physical things without which it wouldn't exist.
The Van Allen belts?
Is the Earth the mineral connection?
A feature of the surface of the earth?
ImNotJohn] The Van Allen belts? No
Quendalon - Is the Earth the mineral connection? *applause* It's the main one, but not the only one.
Rosie - A feature of the surface of the earth? No

Back after the match.
The Trojan points?
Gravity?
Hooray, the "Whoops!" works :-)
Raak - The Trojan points? No
Phil - Gravity? No
Yes, the "Whoops" is a great invention.

To quote CdM, "Again I say, re-examine your assumptions." It's worth re-reading Quendalon's second question, ImNotJohn's first, and Dujon's
Celestial Co-ordinates?
Oppolzer's Canon of Eclipses?
Is this a form of electro-magnetic effect?
Phil - Celestial Co-ordinates? No
Rosie - Oppolzer's Canon of Eclipses? No
Dujon - Is this a form of electro-magnetic effect? No
Is it the Kuiper belt?
Does this involve man-made spacecraft?
Kim] Is it the Kuiper belt? No
Raak] Does this involve man-made spacecraft? No - complete abstract, remember?
Is it the intersection of two or more things?
Is it visible with the naked eye?
A light year?
or ... a parsec?
Going back to my first question - 'relates to the movement or path of a celestial object' (answered YESish) and assuming that your last answer excludes all man-made celestial objects.
Is the anwer the name or description of that path?
Raak] Is it the intersection of two or more things? You could at a pinch define it like that, but it wouldn't be very helpful.
Kim - Is it visible with the naked eye? Bearing in mind the earlier qualification of 'observable', yes.
Chalky - A light year - or ... a parsec? Inside the solar system? However, a modicum of *applause* for these having something in common with the answer.

INJ] Good question, but no (and your assumption is correct)
An Astronomical Unit?
The rising or setting of some astronomical body?
Kepler's laws of planetary motion?
Is it related to navigation?
Raak] An Astronomical Unit? No
Rosie] The rising or setting of some astronomical body? *applause and some cheering* Related to, yes.
Quendalon - Kepler's laws of planetary motion? No
ImNotJohn - Is it related to navigation? No
The man in the moon?
silly guess - I know :-)
The precession of the equinoxes?
Tidal patterns?
Atmospheric refraction?
Chalky]The man in the moon? No - but it would have been a good one ;)
Raak] www - the world-wide wobble? No
Phil] Tidal patterns? No
Rosie - Atmospheric refraction? No

Dawn?
OK - Is this 'man's' [the animal] perception of something that occurs in our universe [abstract] - meaning, does he need something [mineral] in order to 'see' or 'interpret' this thing [which is abstract]?
... a one-word answer will suffice ;-)
Quendalon - Dawn? *some applause* No, but getting warmer...
Chalky] OK - Is this 'man's' [the animal] perception of something that occurs in our universe [abstract] - meaning, does he need something [mineral] in order to 'see' or 'interpret' this thing [which is abstract]? ... a one-word answer will suffice ;-)

No >:)
Related to a shadow?
The Green Flash?
Twilight?
ImNotJohn] The shadow? Noes
Raak - The Green Flash? *Before Googling* No *After Googling Well, there you go - I've never seen one of those.
Rosie - Twilight? *applause* For the same reason as Quendalon - both of those are necessarily contained in the answer.

Daylight Savings Time?
(I know it's not right (named after a person?) but the audience reaction might be helpful...)
A full moon?
St Elmo's Fire?
CdM - Daylight Savings Time? (I know it's not right (named after a person?) but the audience reaction might be helpful...)*the audience shrug their shoulders* No
Dujon - A full moon? *appreciative murmurs in the audience* This is sometimes contained in the answer
Software - St Elmo's Fire? A wonderful Eno song, but not the answer

A summary?
Is it Keith Moon?
The dawn chorus?
Shut up, dickybirds, I'm trying to get to sleep.
Kim] Is it Keith Moon? No, nor Freddy Mercury either ;-)
Rosie] The dawn chorus? Oh don't deceive me, oh never leave me, how could you treat such a poor maiden - no

A summary

You’re looking for an ABSTRACT with MINERAL and ANIMAL connections. The animal connection is human. It is named after a particular person (for a given value of ‘person’). It doesn’t have a physical manifestation, though it is (arguably) observable in nature, and in that sense visible with the naked eye. It is inside the solar system. The closest guesses so far are that it is related to astronomy, related to the movement or path of some celestial object, and related to the rising or setting of some astronomical body. You might want to think about the scope of the word ‘related’. ‘Dawn’, ‘twilight’ and ‘a full moon’ also received some applause. It is also scientifically valid/viable/real/true (though some of these are more applicable than others).

It does not begin with S, or with a vowel. It is not (leaving out guesses ruled out by the above): a meteorological phenomenon; a collection of objects; an aura; anything to do with astrology; the conjunction of Venus and Mars; the ecliptic; an apogee; a transit of Venus; the Clarke orbit; the Kirkwood Gaps; the Van Allen belts; a feature of the Earth’s surface; the Trojan points; gravity; celestial co-ordinates; Oppolzer's Canon of Eclipses; a form of electro-magnetic effect; the Kuiper belt; the intersection of two or more things (well, you could describe it as that, but it wouldn’t be useful); a light-year or a parsec (though these have something in common with the answer); a name or description of the path of a celestial object; an Astronomical Unit; Kepler's laws of planetary motion; related to navigation; the man in the moon; the precession of the equinoxes; tidal patterns; atmospheric refraction; related to a shadow; the Green Flash; Daylight Savings Time; or St Elmo’s Fire.

It is much simpler than most of these. Much, much simpler. You will kick yourselves (you would probably also kick me, for sounding so smug…) Dujon’s definition of “something that changes from moment to moment even though retaining its description” is the closest so far, though my prediction that this wouldn’t be helpful hasn’t been proved wrong yet.
The horizon?
Well, no, not named after anything.
Is the "person" a mythical one?
Is it the Aurora Borealis?
Is it the effect whereby the sun or moon near the horizon appears much larger than when high in the sky?
The moon's measured size is actually less for simple geometrical reasons.
Raak - The horizon? No
Raak - Is the "person" a mythical one? *cheers and applause*YES
Kim - Is it the Aurora Borealis? No
Rosie - Harvest moon? Another great song, but no
Is the mythical figure Greco-Roman?
Would this effect be present if we had no atmosphere?
BTW what I asked about earlier is not a Harvest Moon, which is Something Completely Different and again involves geometry etc.
The tying down of the moons of Jupiter
Sorry for the delay - Bank Holiday weekend, so I slept in.

Quendalon] Is the mythical figure Greco-Roman? No
Rosie] Would this effect be present if we had no atmosphere? Assuming that we were somehow still present, yes.
BTW what I asked about earlier is not a Harvest Moon, which is Something Completely Different and again involves geometry etc. Apologies - I'm not a scientist (which may, now I come to think of it, be relevant).
CdM] The tying down of the moons of Jupiter? Hush, child oblig
Is the mythical figure Judeo-Christian?
Does this involve some kind of catastrophe?
Quendalon - Is the mythical figure Judeo-Christian? No
Rosie - Does this involve some kind of catastrophe? No
Thursday?
Yesterday?
Another song.
Raak - Thursday? *the audience rise to their feet as one person, cheering deafeningly* ALMOST!
Rosie - Yesterday? Possibly the answer, but not when you posted it.

Mate in five, at most.
Wednesday?
One down, one to go. THe winner owes much to Raak.
Friday?
I have asked some questions, so it's not a complete lurk
Rosie] Wednesday? No
One down, one to go. Yes, and as it turns out, no
The winner owes much to Raak. Absolutely!
Phil] Friday? Full of woe - still two to go
Tuesday / Tiw's Day?
Quendalon - Tuesday / Tiw's Day? YES! The baton goes back to Quendalon.
Thank you, thank you. That was a good one!

And now that it's Tuesday, let's start a new round:
ABSTRACT / ANIMAL
Fictional?
[Raak] Fictional? YES, though some would argue otherwise. *applause*
Aslan?
[Raak] The Lion Messiah? NO.
A figurehead?
Begins with P?
A character of legend?
[Rosie] Carven prow? NO.
[Tuj] Begins with P? NO.
[Kim] Character of legend? A very good question, but difficult to answer with the given phrasing. I'll have to go with a potentially misleading IT DEPENDS.
Are we looking at reigious connections?
[Tuj] Religious connections? YES, for a sufficiently broad definition of religion.
Italian?
Mentioned in The Bible or other holy book?
such as Ian Allan ABC of British Railways Steam Locomotives 1952.
Is the animal human?
Are we talking about more than one animal?
Someone that Dan Brown has 'written' about?
Anything to do with the Greek Myths?
[Tuj] Italian? IT DEPENDS.
[Rosie] Mentioned in the Bible? YES.
[Irouléguy] Is the animal human? YES.
[Chalky] More than one? YES.
[G3] Dan Brown? NO IDEA, sorry. (Haven't read him.)
[Kim] Mentioned in Greek myths? YES.
Is it a one-word answer?
Is this the name of a group of people that are connected in some way?
Gods?
If Italian, then Romans?
[Tuj] One word on the card? YES. *applause*
[Chalky] A group of people connected in some way? Technically, YES.
[Kim] Gods? NO.
[Rosie] Romans? As before, IT DEPENDS.
Is this a collective state of mind?
Giants?
[Chalky] State of mind? NO. *laughter*
[Kim] Giants? NO.
Ghosts?
Is this a disease or medical condition?
[Tuj] Ghosts? *DING!* We have a winner!

Passing the ectoplasmic, ethereal baton...
*drawing the line...*
Your answer to my last question
[Quendalon] How refreshing. Neither have I.
[Gra III, Quend] I once tried reading a page or two. Failed [as in - didn't enjoy]. Actually - IMO he's crap :-)
Gosh!
Well, well. I'll set something ANIMAL.
Human?
Bigger than a toaster?
Begins with a P?
Unique?
Alive?
Please please PLEASE let it begin with a P!
Human? [R] YES, though that may be a touch misleading.
Bigger than a toaster? [C] NO
Begins with a P? [K] NO. Gosh, that was an oversight
Unique? [Q] CERTAINLY NOT
Alive? [B] Ooh, tough question. After Quenders' question I'll phrase it as DEPENDS WHICH PARTICULAR ONE YOU MEAN ;) Oh, and psorry.
Is there more than one human [and are they midgets] ? :-)
A human organ?
This could be a quick one!
More than one human? [C] NO (for a particular case). They could be midgets ;)
A human organ? [R] NO, but *strong audience applause*
Organ donors?
Organ donors? [Q] NO *audience sigh and reseat*
The hairs on the head?
Lilliputians?
An embryo?
Egyptians?
Sperm?
*giggles while wondering if GIII missed the "smaller than a toaster" thing, or if there's something I never knew about Egyptians...or toasters, for that matter :-)*
The last five
All NOs. The audience, for what it's worth, looked least interested when Rosie & Graham III posited what they posited.
A component of the human body?
A type of cancerous growth?
In my defence, I misread the toaster question.
A bodily component? [Q] YES! *audience cheer and high-five*
Cancerous growth? [G3] NO
Is it in the interior of the body?
Interior? Strictly YES, though the name is generally used for an exterior area also.
A type of cell?
Cell? [Q] NO
The ear?
Though it's an organ.
Osseous in nature?
Ear? [R] NO. Right letter, wrong bit.
Osseous? [Q] That's a definite PARTLY, bearing in mind what I said to Raak.
By the way
I'm at a wedding tomorrow & unlikely to be by a PC on Sunday, so unless someone knocks this one out by very early tomorrow (UK time) I may have to do a revealio.
Above the neck?
Above the neck? [Q] NO (unless you bent so as to place it there, of course ;))
An elbow?
A muscle?
Knee?
READ THE ANSWERS GIII!
An eye?
Brainy?
Forget that, please,
might this be termed an epiphysis?
Elbow? [CdM] CORRECTO!
A bend of the arm passes on the baton.
Oops. I hadn't checked here in a while, and indeed had forgotten that I had an outstanding guess. Also, that was a lurker's victory, for which I apologise.

ABSTRACT with an ANIMAL connection and also ANIMAL/VEGETABLE/MINERAL connections.
Is the single animal connection human?
Is the single animal human? Yes. *sprinkling of applesauce, er, applause*
(that, by the way, is not an obscure hint; it's just what I almost typoed)
Is this a piece of art?
Begins with a P?
Outstanding in both meanings of the word =)
Is the other animal a particular species?
Is the aforementioned human a particular individual?
Piece of art? No.
P's at start? No.
Species part.? No.
Particular individual? No.
Connected with a particular geographical area?
A class of person e.g. musitian?
Is it fictional?
A character of myth or legend?
Is it unique?
Placed? No.
Classed? No.
Fictional? *some muttering in the audience* The words on the card do not denote something fictional as such, but there are definitely many fictional connections.
Myth or Legend? No, but again there are many connections to myth and legend.
Unique? No.
Does this involve a circle?
wondering where that question came from...
Circular involvement? No. I mean, I suppose it could, but not usually, and not in any way that would be helpful for finding the answer.
Is this connected with language?
Connected to language? I think the best answer is No. While there are some connections, there is neither a direct nor a necessary link to language.
Connected with religion?
Connected with religion? Sometimes, but by no means necessarily. (That is a more positive answer than my first instinct, but I am being influenced by a particular dictionary definition I am looking at right now.) The question does also prompt me to say that I should perhaps have said "...and also ANIMAL/VEGETABLE/MINERAL/ABSTRACT connections".
Thought?
A mental activity?
Is it "No Man's Land?"
Thought? No.
Mental Activity? I suppose, with a broad definition of mental activity, the answer is yes, but I'm not sure that is helpful.
No Man's Land? No.
Perhaps there is a bit more of a connection to language than I implied before, simply because this is most often made manifest through language (see "fictional connections").
Connected with politics?
A manifesto of some kind?
A ceremony or ritual?
Is it musical?
Poitical? No.
Manifesto? No.
Ceremony/ritual? No.
Musical? No.
Is this a form of entertainment?
Entertainment? No.
Pork Barrel Politics?
Pork Barrel Politics? Since it is not connected to politics, the answer is No.
An observable phenomenon?
Is it an office that someone holds?
Is this linked to ICT?
Is more than one human required?
I'm regretting this one big time...
Observable phenomenon? I don't think it is best described as a phenomenon and it is only observable with a very broad definition of the term.
Office? No.
Linked to ICT? No.
More than one human required? No specific human or humans are required.
Is it something which wouldn't exist without humans?
Any connection to eating and drinking?
One-word answer?
Any medical connections?
Something that wouldn't exist without humans? Yes, in two distinct ways. *applause, tinged with relief for the modicum of progress*
Connected to eating and drinking? No.
One word answer? Yes. *applause* Medical connections? No.
Is it, therefore, a human construct?
To do with relationships?
Human construct? It is most definitely a human construct. *audience laughter and applause*
To do with relationships? No.
Is there a connection with philosophy?
Connected with science?
Connected to philosophy? No.
Connected to science? No.
For most of these "connected to ...?" questions I can imagine some sort of connection. But the card talks about something relatively narrow and specific.
To do with travel?
To do with travel? No.
Does it begin with a letter in the first half of the alphabet?
Alphabetically privileged? Yes.
Discovered/invented within the past 100 years?
Within last century? No.
Is it a condition that affects some people but not others (eg baldness, unemployment...)?
Condition that affects some people but not others? No. It's not a condition. Some people might be more prone to it than others, I suppose, but it is more something that you do than that you suffer from.
Is this an invention?
Invention? No, at least not beyond the fact that it is a human construct.
Is it a sin?
Is it enjoyable?
not quite the same question as Kim's...
A sin? No.
Enjoyable? No, not particularly. Nor is it not enjoyable.
A mental process?
A mental process? Sort of. *cautious applause*. This AVMA isn't intentionally trying to be difficult or misleading. The questions are just hard to answer.
Logic?
Could you tell if someone was doing this by looking at them?
Is it some kind of physical movement?
Are the animal/vegetable/mineral connections concerned with the Earth as a whole?
Logic? No.
Can you tell by looking? No, in almost all cases. Mainly this is because it is almost always made manifest through language, as I said before.
Some kind of physical movement? No.
Connected to the Earth as a whole? No. It is not so much that there are A/V/M connections as a whole; rather each specific example of this will have an animal or vegetable or mineral or abstract connection.
Is this something that we do every day?
Is this an abstract noun?
... such as - Curiousity?
Does it involve stories?
Is it suscepitble to cause and effect?
Does the word on the card start with a vowel?
Something we do every day? Good question, and I actually not really sure of the answer. My first instinct was no. Most of us certainly do not do it consciously every day. On reflection, though, I suspect that it is something we often do without being aware of it, so the answer might well be yes.
Abstract noun? Yes. *applause*
Curiosity? No.
Does it involve stories? Very often, yes (though it might be more accurate to say that stories can involve it). *some applause*
Susceptible to cause and effect? I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but I think that the only helpful answer is No.
Vowel at the head? Yes.

Sorry this is so tricky. I have scattered a few obscure clues in my answers of the last several days. If the next few questions take you no closer I'll try to think of a better clue.
An explanation?
Imagination?
An attitude of mind?
(e.g. cynicism)
Explanation, Imagination, Attitude? No.
A type of speech act?
Is it related to a lack of brevity/efficiency or the like?
Trying to read something into the last (and earlier) answers
Type of speech act? No (at least, not as I understand the term). Nevertheless, I think your answers are getting warmer, even if they still need several sweaters.
Soulless wit? No. That was just me being long-winded.
Adjective?
Is this an -ism?
Absent-mindedness?
Abstraction?
Is it a gerund?
anarcho-syndicalism? :)
Adjective? No. Nor is it one.
An -ism? Yes. *applause*
Absent-mindedness?
Abstraction? No, but *sustained applause and a little laughter*
An -ing? No (although there is a gerund that is very closely related to the word on the card, and my answers would probably be identical had I picked that word instead). (In fact, pedantically speaking, I think my answer to, say, your (Iroul's) previous question was probably more about the -ing than the -ism.)
AS? No.
Anthropomorphism?
Spoonerism?
Spoonerism? On, but...
Anthropormorphism? Yes! Chalky gets a highly relieved baton
post -traumatic stress
OK-a-a-aay. The baton enjoyed a few hours sleep but only after extensive counselling. Any temporary relief may be short-lived ....

V E G E T A B L E / A B S T R A C T with ANIMAL/MINERAL connections
Is the abstract vegetable metaphorical?
[Raak] Metaphorical? NO
Edible?
Is the abstract a state of the vegetable?
[CdM] A good subject, but I'm trying hard to see how we could have got to it more logically (of course we could have been luckier at times)
Are the animal connections human?
[INJ] No, I don't think it was a very good subject, actually. It seemed clever when I thought of it, but abstract nouns like that tend to be a bit too, well, abstract. I perhaps should have pointed you to think harder about my human construct ("in two distinct ways") answer. Otherwise you are right; my answers felt very vague to me, and it is hard to see how you could have found your way any better.
The grapes of wrath?
CdM] I thought it was a good one - I'd rather too difficult than too easy.
[CdM] Edible? NO
[INJ] Abstract a state of the vegetable? If you mean the condition of the vegetable - then only in the broadest possible sense.
[CdM] Human animal connections? YES
[Irouléguy] The grapes? NO
Is the vegetable growing/alive?
[INJ] Growing/Alive? YES ;)
Is it a geographical entity?
[Phil] Geographical entity? NO
Fictional?
One particular vegetable?
[Quendalon] Fictional? NO
[Rosie] One particular vegetable? Worded thus, your question can only receive a NO/YES/SORT OF reply. Sorry.
Is the vegetable wood?
[Irouléguy] Wood? NO
I can't believe it has gone this long without someone asking, so.....does it begin with 'P'?
[Bigsmith] Does it begin with a 'P'? ONE of the words on the card does!
Many plants all of the same type?
To try to resolve Rosie's question!
Is it "The Great Pumpkin"?
A quality or characteristic of a vegetable?
Is it connected to a particular human?
[INJ] Many plants all of the same type? In a manner of speaking - YES. *audience applauses*
[Kim] The Great Pumpkin? NO
[Quendalon] Quality or characteristic of a vegetable? I shall say YES with slight reservations because I wouldn't wish to lead you astray :-)
[Tuj] Any particular human? Most definitely NO - the human[animal]/mineral element merely supports the main definition, ie. these components make it happen.
A forest or wood?
Does the answer relate to a particular sense?
(As in smell, etc)
[Rosie] A forest or a wood? NO [but you're moving in the right direction re: the 'vegetable']
[INJ] Relate to a particular sense? *audience applauds an excellent question* Not a straightforward YES here - the answer has connections with sensory organs.
The scented garden?
[Software] Scented garden? NO
Tactile connections?
[Quend] Tactility? um ... NO - by saying that, I'm trying to be helpful :-)
Are the vegetables trees?
{Irouléguy] Are the vegetables trees? NO! You have already asked the wood question :)
An allotment?
[Rosie] An Allotment? NO
Are vegetebles mainly flowers?
[Rosie] Vegetables mainly flowers? They could be - in this particular instance [the Abstract element] they are not.

CLUE: 'Vegetable' can mean something other than a fruit, a plant, an ebible vegetable, a tree, a forest, a flower etc.
ebible? ebible?
Roots?
Chalky] What's wrong with an e-bible? God gave Moses the Ten Commandments on two Tablets, remember ;)
The Pollen Count?
[Irouléguy] Roots? NO - but much much closer because ..

ImNotJohn has tapped straight into my wavelength with a perfect answer!
*sneezes then hands over the baton*
Wipes the baton carefully
I nearly guessed that a couple of days earlier
So let's start again with ABSTRACT/MINERAL
A geological feature?
[CdM]geological feature? - NO
A work of art?
Fictional?
Is the mineral metal of some kind?
[GIII] But is it art? - NO
[Quen] Fictional? - Might be, might not be
[Bigsmith] Metal? - NO
Is it a mineral of myth or legend?
[Kim] Mithril or legendary? - NO
Unique?
Human construct?
A figure of speech?
[Quen] Unique - NO
[CdM] Human etc. - YESish
[Raak] Figure of Speech - YES (applause)
Is it a saying specific to a region or country?
[G111] Region/country specific? - NO
Language-specific?
Feet of clay?
Having a go from the halfway line.
[CdM] The answer is in a specific language ;-)
Could it be in another? - I don't know, and I don't think it would help if I did
[Rosie] Floating like a butterfly? - NO (tipping it over the bar with nonchalant ease)
Is the word "rock" on the card?
A ton of bricks?
Is the mineral iron?
This shouldn't take long
[Quen] Rocky? - NO
[Raak] ton of bricks? - NO
[Dujon] ironic? - NO
Grounds for complaint?
Isthe mineral water?
Is the language English?
(Raak) Is the mineral water what? I think it is, actually. We'll see.
[Software] - Grounds for complaint? - NO
[Raak] watery? - NO
[Rosie] In English? - YES (sorry, I wasn't trying to be clever)
Is the mineral silicon based?
[Glll] silicon-based? - YES is the most helpful answer (*applause*)
Burying one's head in the sand?
cyber space?
Nearly there
[Glll] - Ostriching? - NO (but plenty more applause)
[Software] Cyber space - NO (they fall silent again)
Is the word sand in the answer?
[Glll] 'sand' in answer - YES
The sands of time?
[Raak] egg-timer? - NO
Keep trying
Shifting sands?
Cassandra? Sandra Day O'Connor? Pinsand needles?
A line in the sand?
oh, I bet that's right...
And the next one please
And Rosie gets it! The answer is 'A line in the sand'.
*Baton passed carefully without stepping too far*
*Somewhat startled, reaches over silicaceous demarcation zone and grabs the precious icon.*.

This time, it's - A N I M A L

Is it human?
(G III) Human? - certainly is
alive?
British?
(INJ) Alive? - Could be.
(Raak) British? - Could be.
Is it, at any given moment , a single specific human being?
(e.g., 200 meters hurdles world record holder)
(CdM) Not a single specific person in the way you mean.
A class of being, i.e. police?
Fictional?
Since the "could be" I can't get "Hong Kong Phooey, number one superguy; Hong Kong Phooey, quicker than the human eye" out of my head. Thanks, Rosie. I wonder if that's what inspired Software (hello hello? Police Headquarters).
(Software) - YES, sort of.
(ISP) It makes me think of Monty Python's Nudge, Nudge sketch.
(ISP) Just realised I hadn't answered your question. NO, not fictional.
Both male and female?
Might this person oft times be referred to as 'religious'?
(CdM) No hermaphrodites. One sex only.
(Dujon) Not essentially a religious person.
The occupant of some office?
It is more than one person, right?
(Raak) If you mean the office as a room, then NO.
(CdM) slightly hesitantly, YES
The holder of some position?
That sort of office.
(Raak) Holder of some position? - YES, but not quite in the usual sense. *approving murmurs from the audience*
Male?
(Irg) Male? - Certainly is. *More approving murmurs*
The winner of some competition?
The son and heir?
(Raak) - Not a competition winner.
(Irg) No, that would be impossible. *some discreet sniggers amongst wittier members of the audience*
Eunuchs?
(Bigsmith) "....and Goebbels had no balls at all"? NO, though strictly there is no reason why the subject(s) may not be differently-orchidised.
A child?
(Graham III) - NO, not a child.
Clarification:- My reply to Irouléguy has a temporal significance.
Do you have to be a certain age to be this?
The holder of some kind of record?
(Irouléguy) - Age limits? - YES, in effect, though not in a formal sense.
(Tuj) Not a record-holder.
The oldest man in the world?
[INJ] I was going to ask that a day or so ago, but the animal's not necessarily alive. I asked my previous question to completely rule it out.
A group defined by having experienced/lived through a particular event?
[Tuj] Yes, you're right - it's ruled out for a few reasons (like, not a single specific person) - Scrub that and try this one.
(INJ) (Qu. 1) Not the oldest man in the world. Nothing to do with his age, actually.
(Qu. 2) NO, but an event is involved. *Sort-of approving noises from the audience*
Is the event in the future?
For example, the team to represent GBR in the men's 4x100m sprint relay at the Beijing Olympics.
(Bigsmith) A future event team? NO, the event is basically now but could be in the recent past.
Associated with one particular country?
(Tuj) NO, not associated with one particular country.
Begins with P?
Knew I'd forgotten something.
(Tuj) Perfectly preposterous proposition, pal - er, Not P.
Does the word 'veteran' appear on the card?
(Dujon) The word "veteran" - NO, no old soldiers.
Is the related 'event' to do with family?
Dead man's shoes?
Grasping at straws
(INJ) - Family? Very much so, Gary. *vigorous applause*
(Softers) - The straws got away. Not "Dead man's shoes"
The father of the bride?
[Rosie] Surely you meant 'Very much so, yes; Gary'
*suspects INJ has given it away*

but just in case... A father-in-law?
(INJ) NO, not the bride's father. re "Gary" - you may well be right. :-)
(Irg) Worth the shot, but not him either.
To do with a birth?
(probably just as well - I won't be posting on Thursday or Friday, so I'd better not win this)
A godfather?
(INJ) Fear not; you haven't. It's nothing to do with a birth. Good luck on K2 and see you Saturday.
(Phil) NO, not a godfather.
Defined by relationship(s) with others?
A grandfather?
(Quendalon) NO, not defined by any relationship.
(Irouléguy) Not a grandfather.
Dutch Uncle?
(Software) NO, not a Dutch Uncle.
The head of the family?
(Irouléguy) NO, not the head of the family.
Related to geographical location?
(Quendalon) NO, no geographical connection.

Hint: You're all missing a feature of the answer that has been the subject of two questions and answers.

Is there more than one of these in a family?
Is there one of these in most families?
Having seconds, as no-one else has had a go for a while.
A maiden aunt?
Sperm?
(Irg) Both questions - There could be. Not relevant, really.
(Raak) Not a maiden aunt. (It's male)
(Quendalon) Sperm? NO. A fully-formed male person.
Best man?
YESSSS! Raak is the best man! Speech!
An alarm clock?
[Rosie] Good one, although the audience surely could have given INJ's 'father of the bride' a little encouragement. I'm still confused by the audience reaction to 'son and heir', though.
Unaccustomed as I am...
[CdM] If the happy couple's son was the best man at their wedding...

The next is M I N E R A L.

Metal?
[Raak] Unusual perhaps, but not "not possible"
Art?
And the son & heir of whom was not defined. My best man was the son and heir of the father of the groom for example...
[CdM] Made of metal.
Unique?
One metal only?
(CdM) Raak's explanation of the "son and heir" audience reaction is what I was thinking of, though I agree it's a bit convoluted and overdone.
Begins with P?
[Rosie] I was more confused as to why the answer to "Alive?" was "could be"
[I] Not unique.
[R] One metal? Possibly, perhaps likely, but not useful to know.
[T] P.
Man-made?
[Q] Man-made.
Does it use electricity?
(Tuj) Well, my Dad's best man is dead, as no doubt are Henry VIII's. I could have said "Yes, at the time" but that would have been giving too much away.
Any moving parts?
[Rosie] Not usually electric.
[CdM] Yes, there are moving parts.
When not electric, is it powered by hand or foot?
Larger than a toaster?
[R] When not electric, it is powered by (at least one of) hand or foot. (Murmurings in the audience.) Ok, partly powered.
[I] Not larger than a toaster.
A timepiece?
[Rosie] (the audience almost applaud) Not a timepiece.
Is it a domestic item?
Used in the kitchen?
Scales?
[Raak] I wonder what that sounds like ;)
[R] Npot domestic.
[I] ...hence not used in the kitchen.
[Tuj] Not scales.
[Tuj] The sound of two hands clapping, but not against each other.
BELLOWS . . . whoops, sorry . . . bellows?
Do people own these things?
A tool?
[D] Not bellows.
[R] People own these.
[I] In a general sense, yes. (Is a pencil a tool? Is a kettle a tool? In that sense, this thing is a tool.)
Associated with leisure?
This weekend I was at a 20th anniversary celebration - we had also been at the wedding, where the best man was the son and heir of the groom (he was a widower).
[INJ] Er...yes, associated with leisure.
A compass?
Also, can you answer my first question?
[GIII] Sorry, missed that. Not art, and not a compass.
Anything to do with television?
Can one person, alone, make full use of it for its intended purpose?
[R] Not directly connected with TV.
[Q] More than one person must be involved.
Is it a game?
[Rosie] (the audience grow alert but not yet excited) Not a game.
Is it a toy?
[Phil] Not a toy.
Associated with sport(s)?
[Q] (applause!) Yes, associated with sports.
Associated with a ball game?
A boule?
[I] Not associated with a ball game.
[G] ...not even in French.
Associated with athletics?
a dart?
A starter's pistol?
[Rosie] (cheering) Associated with athletics.
[Software] Not a dart.
[Phil] **BANG** A starter's pistol.
Really? Gosh! I'll try and think of a new one in the morning.....way too "sleepy" right now.
Till now, I'd even forgotten I'd won, that's how "sleepy" I was.

OK, out next AVMA is VEGETABLE

Begins with P?
Unique?
Edible?
[Tuj] P? NO
[Quendalon] Unique? NO
[Irouléguy] Edible? NO - a titter from the audience
Made of wood?
Potable?
[Rosie] Made of wood? Partially
[Dujon] Potable? NO
Something constructed?
A British Rail Sandwich?
surely inedible?
[Irouléguy] Constructed? Not my first choice of word, but YES.
[Software] BR Butty? NO - I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the audience's titter.
Normally found in the home?
Bigger than a washing machine?
Toasters have been way too privileged in this game.
[INJ] Normally found in the home? It can be.
[CdM] Bigger than a washing machine? YES and NO - depends how you measure "bigness"
Main purpose decorative or display?
I take your answer to CdM to mean: greater in at least 1 dimension, but with a lesser volume than a 600mm x 600mm x 900mm toaster.
[INJ] Mainly decorative? Hmmmm... NO
Re: CdM's question: My answer, in this instance, means larger in at least 1 dimension, but lesser in volume than a standard domestic washing machine (approx 900 x 600 x 600mm). By the way, you have a very big toaster!
Broom?
A tool?
CdM may have said washing machine, but the traditions of the game dictate that he must have meant toaster
does it begin with a P?
[INJ] Maybe he said 'washing machine' because if you say 'toaster' to Phil he puts a bag on his head...
[Quendalon] Broom? NO
[INJ] Tool? NO
[IS,P!] Begin with P? Still NO. And can I take the bag off now please?
Is it used in sport?
Part of the structure of a house?
[Chalky] Used in sport? NO
[Rosie] Part of structure of house? NO *a little applause*
Is it significantly longer than it is wide?
[CdM] Length much > width? Not necessarily, but can be.
A crawling board?
[Rosie] Crawling board? NO
Is this designed to protect?
[Dujon] Designed to protect? Partially YES, but not exclusively to protect.
Is it something like ivy, which covers a house and can project but may not be considered decorative?
That was a lot of words!
[Software] Something like ivy? NO
Would it normally contain something?
[Chalky] A container? NO
Easily portable?
[INJ] Easily portable? NO
Some kind of door or entrance?
We know that it is wholly vegetable but only partially made out of wood. So
Is it primarily (say, more than 90%) wood?
[Rosie] Door or entrance? NO
[CdM] > 90% wood? NO
Is the bit that's not wood some form of natural vegetation?
[Chalky Ntural vegetation? Not in its original form. Don't forget that this has been "contructed", although that is not the most ideal word to convey what has happened to the vegetable constituents.
Is it fewer than 10% wood?
[Phil] I just did that to annoy you. :-)
If not "constructed" would "fashioned" or "sculpted" (either) be a more appropriate description?
[CdM] <10% wood? NO (Me? Annoyed? Nonsense! *unclenches teeth*
[Rosie] Fashioned/sculpted? NO. Probably further from ideal than "constructed", in fact.
Essentially an outdoors object?
[Rosie] Outdoors? NO
Does this comprise of wood (combined with something else) which has been shredded/chipped and then moulded?
Is this always 100% vegetable? (no screws, nails, glue, ink...)
[Dujon] Shredded wood combined with something else and moulded? I think that warrants a YES - *relieved applause*
[CdM] Always 100% vegetable? Good question. Further research reveals a trace of mineral that I was previously unaware of, plus some pigment that may be vegetable or mineral. But essentially I'd say YES, at least 99.5% vegetable. *some more applause*
Would the typical morniverser own one?
Wood chipping mulch/dressing?
[CdM] Would a Morniverser own one? Probably not, but possibly.
[Software] Wood chippings? NO
Paper involved?
[INJ] Paper? NO
"Processed wood" eg chipboard?
[Rosie] Processed wood? NO
Is it MDF?
A little summary perhaps...
The answer on the card is almost entirely vegetable (over 99%) with a trace of mineral, and perhaps some animal. Wood makes up between 10 and 90% of it. It is partially, but not exclusively designed to protect, but is not mainly decorative.
Shredded wood combined with something else and moulded got a YES, but it's not perfectly accurate. It also got some applause. Other applause has been for "part of the structure of a house?", although the answer was NO. Also, querying if it was always 100% vegetable received some applause - mainly for being such a good question.
It is larger, in at least one dimension than a washing-machine-sized toaster. It is not "fashioned or sculpted" from wood. Technically-speaking it is constructed, but that is not how I would put it.
...more...
It does not begin with P; is not a tool, broom, container or crawling board. It does not involve paper, and is not a type of processed wood (such as chipboard), not is it wood mulch. The typical Morniverser probably doesn't own one, but might. It is not used in sport, is not an outdoors object.
Also, the non-wood part is not natural vegetation in its original form.
[Kim] MDF? NO
Is this wooden percentage made up mainly of bark?
Thanks for the precis, Phil, but that's not the job of the Chair and should be attended by one of his or her fawning acolytes.
Is it part of the structure of any other thing?
As opposed to, say, a house.
Is the "other" vegetable hay?
A hay stack?
[Dujon] Wooden percentage mainly bark? It can be, but doesn't have to be.
[Quendalon] Part of structure of non-house? NO
[Irouléguy] Hay involved? NO
[Software] A haystack? NO
A log cabin?
[Kim] A log cabin? NO
Do you own one?
[GIII] Do I own one? NO
Could one see this in a pub?
Even if not in your revered establishment, my Lord. (Dujon) Will that do?
Related to animals?
[Rosie] Could it be seen in a pub? YES, but not all pubs.
[Quendalon] Related to animals? NO
A pool table?
[Chalky] A pool table? NO - I think that would be less than 99% vegetable.
A skittle alley?
[Software] Skittle Alley? NO - I think that would be bigger than a washing machine-sized toaster
Correction to previous answer I was only asked if it was bigger than the toaster in at least one dimension, to which I replied YES. No-one has yet established in how many (or indeed which) dimensions the item is bigger than a toaster (or washing machine).
Is it longer than a toaster?
Is it longer than a toaster standing on its end?
[IRG] Longer than a toaster? YES
[INJ] Longer than a toaster on end? YES
Typically painted?
I've got the image of something shaped like a door or a kitchen worktop.
Is the wood from a specific type of tree?
Is this a regular shape or is it a bit wigglyish??
[INJ] Painted? Strictly speaking, NO.
[Quendalon] Specific tree? NO
[Chalky] Regular shape? YES
Is it a cuboid (tall, long, not very thick)?
[IRG] Cuboid? YES, but not as you've defined. Here's a clue, as I'm going on holiday on Saturday for a fortnight. Wide, long and not very tall.
A doormat?
[Software] Doormat? NO *Some encouraged applause*
Typically varnished or similarly treated?
[CdM] Typically varnished? NO (although I did have to do some reading to check)
Are there typically pictures of any kind on it?
[Quendalon] Typically pictures on it? NO
A floor covering of some sort?
[Irouléguy] A floor covering? YES *rapturous applause and whoops of delirious delight from the audience*
Stair carpet
or something like that, such as a hall runner?
[Software] Stair carpet? NO *audience believes they may get to cheer today*
Laminate flooring?
[GIII] Laminate flooring? NO *ooohs and aaahs*
Fitted wood flooring?
[IRG] Fitted wood flooring? NO
May I refer you all back to "Shredded wood combined with something else and moulded got a YES, but it's not perfectly accurate. It also got some applause." I think that's slightly helpful without giving it away. Note also that I have had to do some research in order to answer a couple of questions.
Cork flooring?
[IRG] Cork flooring? NO - the wood ingredient can be bark (which is what cork is), but doesn't have to be. Also, less than 90% of the total comes from wood.
Coconut matting?
Getting desperate
[Software] Coconut matting? NO
OK, here comes a major clue. Things don't always look like what they're made of.
Linoleum?
[Chalky] Vinyl floor? I'm afraid not.
[Cdm} Linoleum? YES, dagnammit, YES!
It's made of powdered wood or bark, linseed oil, canvas or burlap (both of which are vegetable), with some pigments (hence the traces of mineral). And in 13 hours' time I go on holiday for 2 weeks. ttfn!
Well, I stood on the shoulders of giants that time. Excellent subject choice, and a very educational round. After Phil's clue I thought it had to be lino, but I needed to google to check because I realized I had no idea what it was made of. I'll be back later today to set a new clue.
[Phil] Have a good trip!
although I suppose maybe you could argue for a vegetable component as well
This one is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
An anarcho-syndicalist?
Making a welcome return.
Is the animal human?
CdM] Well guessed
A metaphorical character?
E.g. Essex Man etc
But does it begin with P...?
Anarcho-syndicalist? No.
Human? No.
Metaphorical? Yes, sort of. Character? No.
A well-known phrase or saying?
In a general sense does the animal part relate to a particular type of animal?
(e.g. cat, dog, cow)
It's a jungle out there
Well-known phrase or saying? I think the best answer is Yes.
Particular type of animal? Yes.
Does the animal display some particular characteristic such as the smile of the Cheshire Cat?
Remember, remember, the 5th of November
Particular characteristic? Yes (interpreting "characteristic" somewhat broadly).
Is the animal a mammal?
Particular gender?
A fish?
Begins with P?
Cat got your tongue? ;)
Is it a sleeping dog?
Interesting constellation of questions
Mammal? No.
Particular gender? No.
A fish? Yes. *applause*
Begins with P? No.
Feline tongue entrapment? No (but my internets were broken for most of the day; sorry)
Sleeping dog? No.
A particular type of fish?
Under African Skies
Particular type of fish? Yes.
A red herring??
A red herring? Yes! One smoked baton passed to Néa.
Oh dear
It was the aproposes that did it.

Now for something MINERAL
Man-made?
metallic?
[Raak] Yes.
[INJ] Yes.
Unique?
[Néa] Are you sure that shouldn't be "apropi"?
[CdM] Yes. And yes. "Apropoi", possibly.
Art?
[GIII] Only in a limited sense of the word.
An architectural construction?
[Raak] Yes.

There is a small amount of VEGETABLE involved as well.
A tin roof?
A particular building?
Is/are metal(s) the only mineral element?
More than 200 years old?
Could you (or I) lift it?
The "wobbly" (or Millennium) bridge?
Kaknästornet?
:-)
You've been inquisitive while I was gone
[Software] Not a tin roof.
[Raak] Yes, a particular building.
[Graham III] There are some other mineral components as well, but again very small proportions.
[CdM] Not more than 200 years old.
[Rosie] You and I could not lift it together.
[INJ] Not the Cake Nose Tower!
In Europe?
A building that is open to the public?
[CdM] Yes.
[INJ] No.
In Sweden?
Less than fifty years old?
[Irouléguy] No.
[CdM] No.

[Irg] Sorry, I missed your previous question - it also isn't the Millennium bridge.
Is it more than 119 years old and less than 122 years old?
[CdM] No, it is not both of those things.
Is it in London?
[Raak] Not in London.
Is it in Italy?
[Kim] Nor in Italy.
Eiffel Tower?
Because [CdM]'s question confused me.
Would the small amount of vegitable be growing on the structure?
Is it a bridge?
[Q] Unless I have also confused myself, Néa's answer rules out the Eiffel Tower. (Her answer is semantically interesting, because it can be parsed in two distinct ways, but only one of them is sensible.)
[Q, CdM] No, it is not the Eiffel Tower. My reply to CdM meant that it is not between 119 and 122 years old.
[Software] There may be vegetables growing on it but that was not what I meant.
Is it less than 122 years old?
Progress at last!
[Irouléguy] Yes, yes it is.
The Forth (railway) Bridge?
Does it perform a specific function?
[Néa] You have missed out CdM's bridge question!
[CdM] Not a bridge.
[Rosie] No.
[Bigsmith] Yes.
Is it in England?
Is it a tower?
[Quendalon] No.
[Graham III] Yes.
Is its specific function to broadcast signals?
[Raak] Yes! (audience starting to prick up their ears)
Is it north of Paris?
Still in use?
Functional rather than decorative?
Not it's getting more difficult
[Irouléguy] Yes.
[INJ] As far as I have been able to tell, the answer is no.
[Rosie] Yes is probably the best answer, but it's not straightforward.
Is it on land?
[Kim] Yes.
Did it collapse in 1991?
A recap:
A mostly metal broadcasting tower in Europe, but not in England, Italy, or Paris, built at least 50 years ago but less than 119, still in use, not open to the public, not the Cake Nose Tower, more southerly than Paris.
The original Radio Luxemburg transmitter?
Raak] More northerly than Paris.
Resisting the temptation to get another question in
[Raak] Probably not still in use.
[Graham III] No, it didn't.
[Irg] Not the original Radio Luxemburg transmitter.
Is it in Scandinavia?
[Raak] No.
Is it in Western Europe?
(i.e. one of Germany, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, The Netherlands and outlying islands)
Being negative today, me
[Graham III] No.
Anything to do with astronomy?
An early warning system?
On an island?
More negativity
[Rosie] No.
[Software] No.
[Quendalon] No.
Is it in a country that used to be in the USSR?
(ie one of Belarus, Ukraine, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and Russia)
[Irouléguy] Yes!
Is it named after its designer?
cheeky, but...
[Irg] It is indeed.
Is it a hyperboloid structure?
going for the hat-trick...
He knows, really
[Irg] Yes!!
Is it more than 86 years old and less than 89 years old?
It's so tempting...
*rolls eyes (own)*
[CdM] Yes.
[Irouléguy, CdM] Stop grandstanding before I name the bloody thing myself. :-D
Does it share one of its names with an underground station?
CdM, Quendalon] Not grandstanding, but teeing you up - I'm away at the weekend,so for once I don't want to take the baton. This is fun, though...
It's in the CCCP, innit
[Irg] Er. None that I know of, but there are many underground systems with stations whose names I'm ignorant of. Unless you mean its name in English translation, in which case the answer is Yes.
Oh, all right then...
Is it the Shukhov Tower in Moscow?
And about time, too
[CdM] Of course. The hyperboloid baton returned to CdM.
Gah
[Irouléguy] I'm sorry - I didn't remember that it's also called the Shabolovka. Which is of course also the name of a Moscow metro station.
Néa] No apologies necessary. I only learnt that yesterday from reading the Wiki page - and I should have said Metro rather than underground. It just amused me as an MC connection. Good topic!
Credit for the last obviously goes first to Irouléguy.
VEGETABLE and MINERAL. However, I will give an immediate clue that the vegetable element is much more fundamental than the mineral element.
Is the vegetable wood?
I just managed to restrain myself, since I'm on holiday from this weekend for the next 2 weeks.
And the mineral metal?
Does it begin with P?
Unique?
Man-made?
Wood? In part, yes
Metal? No (or to the extent there is any metal involved, it is highly tangential and inessential --even more tangential than the rest of the mineral component).
Begins with P? No.
Unique? Yes.
Man-made? Yes.
Is it more than 100 years old?
More than 100 years old? Both Yes and No are defensible answers.
One clarification. I said Yes to "man-made?", and that is the best answer. But No would also be defensible. There. That's clearer now, right?
Can it be seen from a mile away (without optical aid)?
Clearer? Clear as anything ever is with you, y'bugger. :-)
Is this a monument or other well known structure which was formed, sculpted or roughly shaped within the last 100 years and made out of a substance formed over a hundred years ago which could possibly include vegetable material but is probably made up of various metals (i.e. anything 'heavier' than hydrogen) and which is still extant?
A yes/no answer will suffice.
Can it be seen from a mile away? I am very tempted to say that yes and no are both defensible answers. However, I will say that the answer is No (almost certainly) unless you are talking about a mile away vertically, in which case the answer is Yes.
Is ... extant? Not exactly sure where you were going with that, but the best answer has to be No.
Is it in Europe?
And if you answer "yes and no" I shall weep.
Hampton Court Maze?
In Europe? Yes.
Hampton Court Maze? *The audience gasps collectively and bursts into sustained rapturous applause* No.
A maze somewhere in England?
A maze? Yes.
Somewhere in England? No.
Is the mineral water?
Water? No. For free, I will tell you that the mineral just refers to what is underfoot as part of this maze (that's why I said the vegetable element is much more fundamental). Most of the hard work has been done here; you just need to find out where this particular maze is.
Is this maze in a church or cathedral?
In a church or cathedral? No. (Visible from above, remember.)
In Wales?
Is it in Belgium?
In the grounds of a church or cathedral? No.
In Wales? No.
In Belgium? No.
North of Paris?
North of Paris? No.
In France?
Hellenic, like the hymn?
Hidden textA maze in Greece?
Public Service Announcement: Do not reveal the message in the previous move. Just trust me, ok.
Grecian? No.
In England?
(and GIII asked "in France?")
Oops, and Rosie asked about England. How about, In Eastern Europe (i.e. the old Eastern Bloc)?
You are winding your way in towards the center
In France? No. (sorry)
In England? Still No.
In Eastern Europe? No.
Made within the last 200 years?
Is it, by any chance, in Italy?
Dear Auntie CdM, I know I shuddent of done, but I cuddent resist clicking the "reveal" button like you tole me not to and now my sides av split. Wat can I do? Yours etc. Worried of Whitechapel.
Within last 200 years? Yes and No are both defensible. (See 100 years, above.)
In Italy? No.
Dear Worried. You can listen to me say, "I told you so".
The maze at Schönbrunn Palace?
The maze at Schönbrunn Palace? Yes!

"The Maze at Schönbrunn was laid out between 1698 and 1740... During the 19th century the Maze was gradually abandoned until in 1892 the last remaining hedges were felled. In autumn 1998 a new maze extending over 1.715 m with a viewing platform at its centre was laid out taking the historical model into account where possible."

*leaves the baton at the center for Raak to find*
By the way, I very nearly chose Hampton Court Maze, deciding only at the last minute to be a bit less Anglocentric. Had I stuck with that, Rosie's guess would have been one of the most impressive we have seen in the game to date.
(CdM) V kind! Unfortunately I know of no other mazes.
Left, left, right, right, straight on, over, under, back three squares, up a ladder, half-twist, strile, left, right, flamethrower.

The next is MINERAL (primarily) with an ANIMAL connection.

Man-made?
Does it comprise of more than one mineral?
is it a tool?
[Rosie] Man-made.
[Inkspot] Very likely more than one mineral.
[Software] Not a tool.
Is the mineral predominantly wood?
Doh! Sorry, is the material predominantly metal?
I don't know what's the matter with me these days. I must be getting old.
[Kim] Not predominantly metal.
Decorative?
other mineral is natural (as opposed to man-made)?
[CdM] Yes, one could say that it is decorative.
[Software] Natural, yes; in a state of nature, no.
Is the material mostly stone?
[I] Yes, mostly stone.
But is it art?
[S] Yes, it could be considered to be art.
Is it associated with one part of the world?
[I] It is associated with one part of the world.
Does it decorate the exterior of a building?
Unique?
The Sphinx?
Bigger than a phone box?
[Rosie] Does not decorate the exterior of a building.
[CdM] Unique.
[Software] Not the Sphinx.
[Projoy] Definitely bigger than a phone box.
Is the animal connection that it is manmade?
Is it in Europe?
[G III] It is manmade, but there is a more specific animal connection.
[I] It is in Europe.
A statue or sculpture?
[CdM] Not a statue or sculpture.
The bear pits of Berne?
[I] *Gasp of horror* "Not -- not the Dreaded Bear Pits of Berne!!!" No.
The Bullring, Brum? :o)
Is it a building?
Is the connected animal human?
[S] Not the Bullring.
[G III] It's a building.
[K] The animal is human.
Is the surname of the human one of the words on the card?
Is the building pre 1900?
[Kim] The human's surname is not on the card.
[Inkspot] It is pre-1900.
Is it north of Paris?
Is this going to become my signature question?
Was it built by an ancient culture?
In Eastern Europe (i.e. the old Eastern bloc)
(this is going to be my signature question)
Is it in England?
[I] After closely examining Google Maps, this is not north of Paris.
[G III] Not ancient.
[P] Not in Eastern Europe.
[R] Not in England.
In Austria?
[Software] a ripple of near-applause Not in Austria.
Switzerland?
[Kim] Not in Switzerland.
Germany?
[G III] Germany? Ja wohl!
A castle?
Scloss Neuschwanstein? The animal connection being the Schwan?
Cathedral Church of Our Lady, Munich?
[Néa] Applause!
[Projoy] Boos!
[irach] Cheering! Neuschwanstein it is. The animal connection I had in mind was Ludwig II.
Rats, I nearly just guessed that outright last night.
Okay….. This one is “ABSTRACT, WITH AN ANIMAL CONNECTION”
A work of art?
[Raak] Not a work of art.
The smile of the Cheshire cat?
[Rosie] No smile. No cat, Cheshire, or otherwise.
Is the animal in question human?
[Kim] Yes, the animal element is human.
A piece of music?
[Inkspot] Not a piece of music.
Does the name of the human appear in the answer?
[Rosie] Yes. The name of the person is in the answer.
Is it a unit of measurement?
[Inkspot] Not a unit of measurement.
Anything to do with the scientific world?
{Rosie] No scientific world connection.
Does this encompass art?
e.g. the [name of] school or style.
[Dujon] No, doesn't encompass art per se, except that the person named in the answer has been the subject of some works of art.
Royalty? (any country)
[Rosie] The person in question was not royalty, but did associate with royalty.
Was the person European?
[Irouléguy] The most pertinent answer is yes, the person was European.
Was the human a military person?
[Dujon] The person was a warrior, yes.
Beowulf?
Was the human alive before 1800?
Civis Romanum erat?
[CdM] Not Beowulf.
[Kim] If the person actually lived, it was before 1800 AD.
[Iroulëguy] No Civus Romanum erat.
A character from a fairy tale?
Male?
{Inkspot] Not acharacter from a "fairy tale".
[Nea] Yes, male.
Is is a character of myth or legend?
Is he a God?
[Kim] Yes, a caharacter in myth or legend.
[Inkspot] Not a God. A mortal, but with divine connections, nonetheless.
From Celtic myth and/or legend?
[Irouléguy] Not Celtic.
Scandinavian?
[Rosie] Not Scandinavian.
Someone like Rob Roy?
Greek?
[Software] Not Rob Roy.
[Kim] Yes, Greek.
Achilles' heel?
Sword of Damocles?
[Graham III] Not Sword of Damocles.
[Iroulëguy] ACHILLES' HEEL is it! Take it away.
WOO-HOO! I've cheered so much I feel like a Trojan -
Hidden texthoarse
. OK, our next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections.
...also involving MINERAL.
Any Biblical connection?
irach] Any Biblical connection? No
Is the animal connection larger than a humanly constructed toaster?
Vegetable connection trees?
CdM] Is the animal connection larger than a humanly constructed toaster? True pedantry offers a number of possible answers, but the useful answer is yes. Rosie] Vegetable connection trees? Noak.
Is the human construction (larger than a toaster) a building?
Software] Is the human construction (larger than a toaster) a building? Not a building, and it's not a human construction.
More precisely, it's not a physical construction, or a physical anything. 'Bigger than a toaster' refers to the animal connection, not the thing itself.
Is it something like 'on the horns of a dilema'?
Software] Is it something like 'on the horns of a dilema'? It's not entirely unlike, but it's nowhere close.
Is the answer a phrase, proverb etc?
Rosie] Is the answer a phrase, proverb etc? *applause, cheering, etc* Yes!
Is the animal connection human?
Is the phrase a kind of warning?
CdM] Is the animal connection human? Yes
Rosie] Is the phrase a kind of warning? No
A white elephant?
Though I struggle with the mineral.
Is the answer a proverb (pace Rosie)?
Software - A white elephant? No - the mineral is implied in the answer, but not named. And don't forget the vegetable.
Kim - Is the answer a proverb (pace Rosie)? Barking up the wrong tree.
Is the vegetaale a fruit?
Is it the Jolly Green Giant?
Inkspot - Is the vegetable a fruit? *applause mixed with laughter from the audience* Yes
Kim - Is it the Jolly Green Giant? No no no
The apple of one's eye?
(Irg) Kim wishes me peace.
Rosie] The apple of one's eye? No
Or he's trying to drink at the same speed as you...
Is the fruit a commonplace edible item?
(Irg) No chance, then. :-)
Rosie] Is the fruit a commonplace edible item? Yes
Is the fruit a citrus?
The Big Apple?
CdM] Is the fruit a citrus? The answer's not a lemon
irach] The Big Apple? NYet
The Garden of Eden?
Is the phrase in question also the title of a work of lliterature
Rosie] The Garden of Eden? Adam fine question - but no
irach] Is the phrase in question also the title of a work of literature? No
So angry I could crush a grape?
Is the answer the title of an artistic work?
Inkspot] So angry I could crush a grape? Ire think not
Kim] Is the answer the title of an artistic work? No
Is the fruit a berry?
The fruit of our labours?
Kim] Is the fruit a berry? *laughter, followed by earnest audience discussion* Probably, yes
Software - The fruit of our labours? No
A berry by name, but not by strict definition?
A blackberry?
** motions towards ear **
Is it green and goes up and down in a lift? A gooseberry?
Graham III] A berry by name, but not by strict definition? No - other way round (probably)
Software - A blackberry? No
Inkspot} Is it green and goes up and down in a lift? A gooseberry? Possibly, unlikely, and no.
Is it a berry within the botanical (as opposed to common) meaning of the word?
Kim] Is it a berry within the botanical (as opposed to common) meaning of the word? *applause* Yes (probably)
'Probably' because the exact meaning of the word on the card is ambiguous, but this is the most likely meaning.
Is the human connection one or more actual persons?
The phrase :"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou beside me?"
Kim] Is the human connection one or more actual persons? *much discussion in the audience* If actual=named, then yes.
irach - The phrase :"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou beside me?" And wilderness is paradise, e? no
Are the named persons fictional characters?
Kim] Are the named persons fictional characters? I refer the honourable gentleman to his previous question. Fictional - almost certainly (though I have seen one website that says the opposite).
Is the berry a grape?
Resisting the temptation to ask whether it is "Attack of the killer kumquats"
Graham III] Is the berry a grape? No
I say tomahto and you say tomayto?
Is the human element a collection of individuals (eg, a class, a group, etc)
ImNotJohn] I say tomahto and you say tomayto? *some applause* No, nay
Kim - Is the human element a collection of individuals (eg, a class, a group, etc) No
Yankee Doodle Dandy?
Is the answer a popular food product?
Software - Yankee Doodle Dandy? No sirree
Kim - Is the answer a popular food product? No - a food product is two of the words on the card, but it's not the answer
Heinz Baked Beans?
Graham III - Heinz Baked Beans? No
Is it a jam or marmalade?
irach] Is it a jam or marmalade? No
Is it ice cream?
A fruit milk shake?
Kim] Is it ice cream? Nein (ty), nein
irach - A fruit milk shake? No
Is the food product shown on the card normally sweet-tasting?
Kim] Is the food product shown on the card normally sweet-tasting? *applause* No
Is the berry an olive?
Popeye and Olive Oil?
CdM - Is the berry an olive? *some applause* No
irach - Popeye and Olive Oil? No
Is the fruit pickled?
irach] Is the fruit pickled? *the audience rise as one person, cheering* YES!
Can one find this on the supermarket shelf today?
Software] Can one find this on the supermarket shelf today? One can find products with the same name on supermarket shelves - whether they are exact product referred to is doubtful.
Is it an ethnic food from the East?
Is the answer in the form 'so-and-so's such-and-such'?
irach] Is it an ethnic food from the East? No
ImNotJohn] Is the answer in the form 'so-and-so's such-and-such'? *cries of 'oooh' from the audience* No, but not that far off - in two ways.
Actually, the audience should have applauded part of irach's question.
Does it involve mango?
irach] Does it involve mango? No mag
Does it involve citrus?
Phileas Fogg's gentleman's relish?
irach] Does it involve citrus? No, Mel
Software] Phileas Fogg's gentleman's relish? No

It's Friday, it's five o'clock, it's Crackerjack! time for a summary, I feel

The whole thing takes the form of something described by “a phrase, proverb, etc”, though it is not a proverb. It includes two words describing a food product, and the name(s) of one or more persons, who is/are almost certainly fictional. The human element is not a collection of persons.

The food is derived from a fruit. Although the exact meaning of the word on the card is ambiguous, the fruit in question is almost certainly a berry, botanically speaking. The fruit is not lemon, blackberry, gooseberry, grape, mango, tomato or olive (though the last two got some applause), and it is not normally sweet-tasting. It is a common-place edible item.

The food product is pickled (sale being the mineral implied in the answer). It is not Heinz baked beans, jam or marmalade, ice cream, or a fruit milk shake. You can find food products with the same name on supermarket shelves, though they are probably not the exact product referred to in the words on the card. It is not an ethnic food from the East, though part of that question garnered applause.

The phrase is not a kind of warning, or the title of a literary or artistic work. [Note – the phrase may have been used as a title, but that’s not where you know it from] The phrase is not: the apple of one’s eye; so angry I could crush a grape; the fruit of our labours; a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou beside me; Popeye and Olive Oil; Yankee Doodle Dandy. The phrase does not take the form 'so-and-so's such-and-such', but that is close in two distinct ways.

This game is missing one of its usual players, who might well have got this by now, or at least posed a particularly pertinent question.
It is associated with Indian food?
A pound of....?
Peter piper's pickled pepper?
... Or rather, the entire phrase "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper" ?
Begin with the letter P?
Capers?
Well, we've a worthy winner! The complete Peter Piper phrase it is - one pepper-flavoured baton handed over to irach.
The next is ABSTRACT WITH MINERAL AND PROBABLE VEGETABLE CONNECTIONS `
Is this a phrase?
[Software] Yes, a phrase.
Does this phrase relate to extraterrestial bodies - or body?
[Dujon] Totally terrestrial.
Is the mineral a liquid?
[irach] Not a liquid.
Is the mineral reference rock?
Old as the hills?
Shut up at the back there.
is the probable vegetable wood?
Is it culturally specific to English?
[Dujon] Not a rock.
[Rosie} Not "old as the hills".
[Iroulëguy] The probable vegetable is not wood
[ImNotJohn] the phrase was coined in English, but is not culturally specific.
Is the mineral combustible?
[Rosie] The mineral is non-combustible.
Could the phrase be construed as a "saying"?
[Software} Not a "saying", but a frequently used term.
Is the mineral component mainly metal?
Is the mineral metal?
[Inkspot],[Phil] The mineral IS metal.
I feel rather silly now - oops!
[Phil] Actually, that was a great and very relevant question from you -there is a difference in the material being mostly metal or being metal entirely.
Ferrous?
Or ferric.
[irach] Not ionic as in ferrous or ferric, but ferrum, yes.
Does "the phrase" refer to the strength or durability of the ferrous metal?
[irach] For the most part, yes. Actually the phrase or term also has/had a physical aspect to it; although it is generally used in an abstract sense.
A cast-iron case?
Does the word "iron" appear on the card?
[Rosie] Not a cast=iron case.
[CdM] It does indeed.
An iron will?
[Rosie] Not an iron will.
The iron curtain?
[Cdm] The "iron curtain" it is. Take it away.
A near lurker's victory there. Anyway, this one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Bach's 'Air on a G string'?
A classical thong? No.
Human animal?
Human Animals? Yes. The animal connections are human.
A human construct?
artistic connections?
Human construct? Yes (with a fairly broad definition of 'construct')
Artistic connections? There are some artistic connections, but they are tangential. The words on the card do not refer to something artistic.
Is it a phrase or saying?
Phrase or saying? Well, strictly speaking the words on the card do constitute a phrase, but it is not a saying or proverb or adage or aphorism or anything of that kind.
Does this relate to a particular human being?
Phew! That 'whoops!' button's really useful.
Anything to do with the law?
Any sporting connection?
A particular human being? Not a particular human being, but the animal connections are to particular individuals, Yes.
To do with the law? That's a tricky one. My first response was No, but on reflection a better answer might be Yes, absolutely!
Sporting connection? The least misleading answer is clearly No, though you can make a case for Yes.
Anything to do with the Olympic Games, current or otherwise?
Olympian? No. (Again, I can make a case for a very tangential Yes, but sport is not a fruitful line of enquiry.)
Are the particular individuals from a particular country or culture?
Does the phrase relate to a human activity?
From a particular country or culture? Yes. *applause*
Human activity? Yes, for a reasonably broad interpretation of "activity".
Connected to political activity?
Connected to political activity? Yes. *sustained applause*
The US Democratic convention?
British?
A legislature?
Denver Demfest '08? No.
British? No. *some muttering in the audience*
A legislature? No.
English?
A referendum?
Concerning the EU?
English? No.
A referendum? No. *some audience laughter*
EU-related? No.
Does this pertain to an African country's election process?
Is the country/culture in Europe?
African country's election process? No and No.
In Europe? Yes.
(I suppose that while my answer to African country was unequivocal, I should note that there is at least a tangential connection to "election process".)
A current news story?
A country or culture formerly part of the USSR?
A Dutch treat?
Current news? No.
USSR? No.
Dutch treat? No.
Does it involve a change in power in a country?
Gerrymandering?
Does it relate to a specific European country?
The French Revolution?
Does it involve a change in power in a country? No. *applause*
Gerrymandering? No.
Relate to a specific European country? Yes. (A case could be made for No, but it would be misleading.)
French revolution? No. *more applause*
Treaty of Versailles?
Treaty of Versailles? No. *audience sits in stony silence*
Anything to do with royalty?
A failed revolution/coup/uprising?
To do with royalty? No (except tangentially).
A failed revolution/coup/uprising? Yes! *sustained applause*
The Spanish Civil War?
Spanish Civil War? No.
Did it happen in Czechoslovakia (as was)?
Czequered past? No.
The Landing at Dunkirk?
Dunkirk Landing? No.
Was the uprising against a colonial power?
Involving Napoleon Bonaparte, 1812 and Russia?
Uprising against a colonial power? Yes.
Napoleonic? No.
The Black Hole of Calcutta?
Black Hole of Calcutta, Europe? No.
The Easter Rising, Dublin 1916?
Uprising of Gaul against Julius Caesar in 52 BC?
We have a winner! The words on the card were "The Easter Rising". *hands an orange and green baton to Irouléguy*
I agree with the mutterers when Rosie asked "British" and you said "No". Ireland was part of Britain in 1916, and remained so until 1920, IIRC. There are some that say Ireland is still part of Britain, but not "Great Britain", but I think that's a bit over(t)ly confrontational.
[Phil] Well, it all comes down to the meaning of Britain.
My preferred usage has always been to treat Britain and Great Britain as synonymous, referring (as a geographical term) to the island which makes up the bulk of England, Scotland and Wales, and more generally (and as a political term) to England + Scotland + Wales. Another view is that Britain (but not, I think, Great Britain) is synonymous with the UK; this seems to be your preferred usage. Wikipedia points me both to the Guardian style guide, which claims that "Britain is the official short form of United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland", and also points to a quote from a British government website that says "the term 'Britain' is used informally to mean the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland" [my emphasis in both quotes].

So, having gone most of my life thinking I understood these demarcations perfectly, I'm now not sure. If anyone can point me to an official site which disambiguates "Britain" and "Great Britain" conclusively, I'd be grateful.

There is another subtlety (and here I am convinced, or almost), which is that "British" perhaps has a wider meaning than simply "pertaining to Britain". It is true, for example, that my passport of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland describes me as a British citizen. On the basis of that distinction, I would accept that perhaps I should have said "yes" to "British?" though I might still disagree with your claim that "Ireland was a part of Britain in 1916". In any case, I thought my answer together with the audience muttering was a sufficiently non-misleading response.
To follow up, here are two sites that both seem reasonably reliable and that, taken together, support the view that (i) "British" has a meaning that extends beyond Britain in the specific case of nationality, but that (ii) using "Britain" to refer to the UK is at best informal and at worst incorrect. Here, we read:
BRITAIN. The informal name for the United Kingdom.
BRITISH is the formal designation of the nationality of citizens of the United Kingdom, and of certain others.
Compare with the following from here.
The adjective "British" is, of course, used in relation to Great Britain but there is also a common tendency to use it when referring to issues relating to both Great Britain and the United Kingdom. This is inaccurate and from a legal point of view erroneous. [emphasis mine]

Sometimes, however, in legislation the term "British" is used to refer to the United Kingdom as a whole, especially in matters relating to the question of nationality.

I'm not sure I am much wiser.
[CdM] I must re-examine myself. I have never in the past confused the UK with GB. I can't understand why I posted that. Although the time-stamp might explain it :-)
Phil, CdM] From another angle, I thought CdM's answer was fine, in that the participants in the 1916 rising certainly didn't think of themselves as British.

At one point Wikipedia suggests that Britain might be used for the island alone, and Great Britain for England, Scotland & Wales (ie including the Isle of Wight, Anglesey and so on), but it doesn't give a source for this, and I'm not sure why anyone except geographers would need such a distinction.

Anyway, our next is ABSTRACT, containing ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with a small amount of MINERAL.

Animal human?
A balanced diet?
Rosie - Animal human? No
irach - A balanced diet? *applause* No
Is the answer related to a food item?
[Phil] But note from my first comment that the Guardian style guide supports your original objection.
A loaded coffin?
CdM - Is the answer related to a food item? Yes
Dujon - A loaded coffin? No
A type of sandwich?
A pie of some kind?
Part of a specialised diet?
irach] A type of sandwich? No
CdM] A pie of some kind? Ye-es
Rosie] Part of a specialised diet? *giggles from the audience* Possibly
Shepherd's Pie?
irach] Shepherd's Pie? No
A Cornish pasty?
Named after a person?
Rosie} A Cornish pasty? *applause* No
Graham III] Named after a person? No
Humble pie?
Named after a place or area?
Raak] Humble pie? No. The ABSTRACT was probably a mistake - this is edible
Rosie] Named after a place or area? *applause* Yes
Yorkshire pudding?
irach] Yorkshire pudding? Nay, lad
Devon cheesecake?
Bet that's wrong.
Is the place or area in UK?
Rosie] Devon cheesecake? You win the bet
CdM - Is the place or area in UK? *applause* Yes
Is this an edible item with a metaphorical meaning?
Is the animal element the meat of the animal?
CdM] Is this an edible item with a metaphorical meaning? Not really, no (it's not clear where the name comes from, but it's probably not a metaphor).
Graham III - Is the animal element the meat of the animal? Yes!
Is the animal a pig?
Is the animal named or directly implied (e.g., pork) by the words on the card?
The Dunmow Flitch?
Bigsmith] Is the animal a pig? Often (though not in all recipes)
CdM] Is the animal named or directly implied (e.g., pork) by the words on the card? *audience members of a certain age giggle* No
Raak] The Dunmow Flitch? No
Scotch egg?
That's wrong as well.
Rosie] Scotch egg? No
Welsh rarebit?
Thrashing around in the dark.
Melton Mowbray Pork Pie?
*hangs his head in shame*
Rosie - Welsh rarebit? No
Graham III - Melton Mowbray Pork Pie? No
Is pastry involved?
Or bread?
Rosie - Is pastry involved? Yes
Bigsmith - Or bread? No
The Fleet Street "Long pork" pies of Sweeney Todd?
Is it a dessert?
irach] The Fleet Street "Long pork" pies of Sweeney Todd? No - see Rosie's earlier question about the animal being human.
Rosie] Is it a dessert? *applause, followed by lengthy discussion* Yes and no (more accurately, no and yes)
Wakefield Pie?
(Pork and rhubarb - delicious!)
Is it sweet?
as opposed to savoury.
ImNotJohn - Wakefield Pie? No, I've not come across that - sounds great!
Graham III - Is it sweet? Partially
as opposed to savoury? No (ie it's both)
Is this essentially a Cornish pasty by some other name and location?
Sweet and sour eel pasty?
CdM] Is this essentially a Cornish pasty by some other name and location? Um, no - it has a distinct USP. It might well look like a Cornish pasty, though, and parts of it might well taste like one.
Raak - Sweet and sour eel pasty? Eww! No
Shropshire Fidget pie?
Just to clarify, I always understood the traditional Cornish pasty to contain two separate fillings: one meat-and-potato-based and one fruit-based. Is the USP that you refer to something other than this?
(A little googling reveals that although this form of the Cornish pasty is mentioned in many places, it is much less of a defining feature than I had thought.)
Graham III - Shropshire Fidget pie? No
CdM] *applause* Yes, that is the USP. But I took your earlier question to mean a present-day Cornish pasty, which as far as I know is just a savoury.
A Bedfordshire Clanger?
wikipedia is my friend
CdM] A Bedfordshire Clanger? YES! Wikipedia is indeed your friend (where do you think I got it from?) One pork and raspberry baton handed over to CdM.
Never 'eard of it. Stupid. What's the point?
I'm with Rosie on that (though maybe not quite so forcefully). Sometimes you may have to do research to get the answer, but it shouldn't be 'pick one from a list at random'. I think the best answers are ones where, either the majority of players will have heard of it, or you're pleased to have had this thing drawn to your attention.
(INJ) Yeah, a bit "forceful" (as usual) but I was annoyed that I'd wasted time and thought with no chance whatever of hitting on the answer. The only Bedfordshire Clanger I can think of is the management of Luton Town FC.
This is obviously going to be one of those perennial debates here. There is room to disagree about where to draw the lines, but this is an online forum, which does make it different playing AVMA here rather than as a parlour game. I don't think there is any harm in subjects that require a bit of googling. As indeed this next one might for some people; I don't know.

MINERAL
(On reflection, this almost certainly has a significant VEGETABLE component as well.)
Is it fossilised?
Fossilised? No.
Used in construction?
Used in construction? No.
Is this a natural amalgam of its constituent materials?
Natural? In the sense in which I presume you mean the term, No.
Here is a clarification of the category that will hopefully make things nicely more muddled. :-)
The words on the card refer to something that can be reasonably interpreted relatively narrowly, or a bit more broadly. In both cases we are talking about something primarily mineral, and I can do no more than make educated guesses about the vegetable component. Under the narrow definition, my guess is that the vegetable component is present, but small. Under the broader definition, the vegetable component is surely more prominent, but the mineral component still clearly dominates.
(To be honest, you will probably make more progress if you ignore the vegetable component.)
Rossington Colliery Grade 2B Hards?
Bog standard food for steam locos.
Diesel substitute? No.
Is there only one of it?
Unique? Yes.
Is it fixed in a single location?
Fixed in a single location? Yes. *a smattering of applause*
Larger than a telephone box?
Larger than a telephone box? Yes.
Is the mineral metalic?
Metallic? There is some metal involved, but most of the mineral component is not metallic.
Is it a building?
A building? Yes. *applause*
Is it in Europe?
In Europe? Yes.
Is it in the UK?
Is it north of Paris? (oblig)
Thanks to CdM for his defence, and apologies to those who thought my last was a waste of time - I mostly agree with INJ's criteria and thought it fitted :(
A public building?
In the UK? No.
North of Paris? Yes.
Public building? No. *animated discussion in the audience, plus applause for the question*
Does the building house scientific activity?
Does the building house scientific activity? Yes.
Was it built before 1900?
Built before 1900? Yes.
Greenwich Observatory?
Greenwich Observatory? No.
Is it mostly made of concrete?
Mostly made of concrete? No.
Was it built before 1800?
Built before 1800? No.
Is it in a Scandanavian country?
Connected with astronomy?
In a Scandinavian country? No.
Connected with astronomy? No.
Is it part of a university?
Part of a university? No.
To do with botany?
Botanical? No.
Is it a museum?
Is it in a Francophone country?
Engineering?
Museum? No.
In a Francophone country? No.
Engineering? If you mean, "is it connected to engineering?" then the answer is "only tangentially".
Connected with power generation?
Connected with power generation? No.
The dog that didn't bark
Before you spend too much time on the current avenue of questioning, you might want to observe that there was a question where the audience was notable for its lack of reaction.
Was it Rosie's question about "scientific activity"?
Was it Rosie's question? Yes. (The building in question does house scientific activity, but that is not its primary function.)
Is it in the UK?
Is it a library?
Is it a museum?
In Germany?
[Rosie] Not in UK
Maritime/ocean connections?
In the UK? Still No. It is in a fixed location, remember. :-)
Library? No.
Museum? Still No.
In Germany? No.
Maritime/ocean connection? Yes.*applause*
A structure in the ocean rather than on land?
In the ocean rather than on land? No.
Is it in mainland Europe?
Would this be an aquarium?
Is it in Poland?
Had to get the letter "p" in there somewhere.
Is it in mainland Europe? No.
Would this be an aquarium? It would not.
Is it in Poland? Positively not.
This is fictional, isn't it?
Fictional? No. Not at all abstract. Very solidly mineral.
In Ireland?
In Ireland? No.
Cleopatra's Needle?
Is it surrounded by water?
Is it a lighthouse?
Eddystone lighthouse?
(as flerdle beat me to my next question by an hour)
Cleopatra's Needle? No. We've established (twice!) that it's not in the UK
Surrounded by water? No.
A lighthouse? Yes! *applause*
Eddystone Lighthouse? No. (Not in the UK, remember...)
Is it in a Nordic country?
Splitting hairs, but...
In a Nordic country? No.
In a Baltic country?
In a Baltic country? No.
Roter Sand lighthouse?
Roter Sand Lighthouse? No.
Is it in Iceland?
Splitting atoms...
Is it in Iceland? I am amazed it took this long for someone to ask!



No.
The Low Countries?
The Low Countries? No.
Is it in Russia?
In Russia? No.
In which case - was it built in 1818?
Was it built in 1818? Well, it was partly built in 1818, and partly prior to then, but ... *tumultuous applause*
Does it shine over an inland sea or lake?
Is it actually a double lighthouse?
In the Crown Dependencies?
The Casquets Lighthouse?
Shine over an inland sea? No.
A double lighthouse? There is a second light, yes. (Just answer it, Irouléguy!)
In the Crown Dependencies? Yes! *applause, mingled with cries of "What took you so long, Software?!"*
Casquets? No.
*grins*
Calf of Man, High and Low?
Calf of Man, High and Low? *applause* but ... No. (Maybe Irg had it wrong as well...)
Is it on or around Guernsey?
I was wrong - I thought it was Calf of Man too. And I'm probably away from my computer this weekend, which is why I'm avoiding taking the baton.
Corbiere lighthouse?
Corbiere? No.
Perhaps someone should ask the other pertinent question.
Is it currently in use?
Currently in use? Yes.
There is easily enough information now for anybody to get the answer with 15 seconds of googling.
Is it on the Isle of Man?
I don't have the time to set one either, but this has been great fun.
On the Isle of Man? Yes.
(*The two remaining members of the audience applaud half-heartedly*)
Is it by any chance the Point of Ayre Lighthouse?
Only because IRG & flerdle, who got to it before me, are too busy.
Point of Ayre?
Ha! Simulposted! Just what is the point of Ayre?
The Point of Ayre Lighthouse, Isle of Man, !UK, is indeed the answer. *hands red and white flashing baton to Phil*
I think this one will be quite quick, I think: ANIMAL
Denis Wise?
Human?
As opposed to Rosie's choice.
An individual?
[Rosie] The Poison Dwarf? NO
[Software] A human? NO
[Raak] An individual? YES (with a very, very, very nerdy trace of NO)
A pet?
[Rosie] A pet? YES *applause*
Lassie?
[CdM] Lassie? NO
Dick Whittington's cat?
[Rosie] DW's Cat? NO
Timmy?
[Dujon] Timmy? NO
Currently alive?
[CdM] Currently alive? NO
Greyfriars Bobby?
Scooby Dooby Doo?
[irach] Greyfriars Bobby? NO
Hidden textincidentally, one of only two films to make my daughter cry

[Projoy] The world's most famous Great Dane? NO
A fictional character?
[Rosie] A fictional character? NO *applause for a good question*
The hamster allegedly consumed by Freddy Starr?
A mammal?
[Rosie] Freddie Starr's Hamster Jam? NO
[CdM} A mammal? YES
Canine?
[irach] Canine? YES *more applause*
Used to be on television?
Rin-Tin-Tin?
Lassie?
[Irouléguy] Used to be on TV? YES *quite a bit more applause*
[Software] & [Kim] I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but Rin-Tin-Tin & Lassie are fictional, so that's a NO to both questions. :-)
Petra (original and surreptitious replacement)?
Shep?
(a logical follow-up question)
[Kim] Petra? YES! Congrats!
I only read about the replacement last week, hence the nerdy "not an individual" answer to Raak's question earlier. Now I need some sleep, having worked about 60 hours in the last 4 days.
*Takes the baton in his mouth and buries it in the back garden*
OK, given the brouhaha over my last attempt to set a poser, I am going to stick this time with a fairly safe ANIMAL
A pair of hands?
[Irouléguy] Not as such.
Human?
[irach] Human? Yes.
Living?
[Rosie] Living? No.
Associated with music?
Male?
Fingers touching (or nearly so)?
European?
[irach] Associated with music? Yes. *Burst of loud applause*
[Rosie] Male? Yes.
[Dujon] Fingers touching? Eh? Please clarify.
[INJ] European? Yes.
A composer?
Mozart?
[Irg] Composer? Yes.
[irach] Which one?
Wolfie, for the love of God?
Leopold Mozart?
Franz Xaver Wolfgang Mozart?
If all else fails....
aka Kim
[Rosie, Projoy, Phil] Not Amadeus, Leopold, Franz Xaver, nor (to save anyone else the bother of trawling endlessly through Wiki) Maria Anne, Carl Bleedin' Philip Emmanuel, PDQ or any other Mozart. Sorry...
What about Irouléguy's suggestion?
[Projoy] What about reading before posting?
[Projoy] Fair cop.
A baroque composer?
[Projoy] Baroque? Technically, no.
German?
Pre-Baroque?
Handel?
(Kim) CPE and PDQ weren't Mozarten; they were Bach(whatever the plural is).
[irach] German? No.
[Projoy] Pre-baroque? Technically, yes.
[Rosie] Handel? No (and, yes, I knew that).
European?
[Projoy] I refer the Hon. Gent. to the answer I gave ImNotJohn yesterday.
Born in the C17th
Oh dear, my basic literacy skills don't seem to be up to much lately.
[Projoy] Mine neiver, that's why Im staying well away frm this one.
William Byrd?
[Projoy] 17th Century? No. That would make him/her Baroque era, I think.
[IRG] Byrd? No.
John Dowland?
Italian?
[Projoy] Dowland? No.
[Phil] Italian? No.
Tomas Luis Vittoria?
[Rosie] TLV? No.
British?
Wrote choral stuff?
[irach] British? Yes.
[Rosie] Choral "stuff"? Yes.
*The audience applauds both questions and anticipates a swift conclusion*
Thomas Tallis?
[Phil] Yes! Phil beats Rosie to the tape.
*Hands over baton to Phil and walks off whistling Glen Miller's "In The Dorian Mood"*
I would like to offer the baton to Irouléguy, or flerdle, who beat me to the lighthouse one, but were unable to spare the time at the time.
Out of town, out of my mind
I'll be away for a fortnight so not me, sorry.
As IRG has not shown up, I'll do what could be another quick one...
ANIMAL or VEGETABLE or MINERAL
The word "Thing"?
[irach] "thing"? NO
Fossil?
[irach] Fossil? NO
A horn?
[Dujon] A horn? NO
Clothing?
Was Dujon asking the right kind of question? That is, is do the word(s) on the card have three separate interpretations/meanings, one animal, one vegatable, and one mineral?
[Projoy] Clothing? NO
[CdM] Words on the card have three separate meanings, one of each type? NO - it's more that it's categorisation is undefined, but not abstract.
Is this a part of a living body (e.g. brain, liver and so on)?
[CdM] Thanks for your question.
[Dujon] Part of a living body? YES, but not in the way you meant from your examples.
Atoms?
[irach] Atoms? NO - *Much applause*
Molecules?
Sub-atomic particles?
Higgs' bosons?
Phil] Thanks for the offer.
[irach] Molecules? NO
[software] Sub-atomic particles? YES *Enthusiastic applause*
[IRG] Higgs' bosons? NO Expectant oohs and aahs
Gluons?
[INJ] Gluons? NO *audience eagerly awaits the right sub-atomic particle*
A quark?
How about a less esoteric "proton"?
Or just the familial 'hadron'?
[IRG] Three quarks for muster mark? 'Fraid not
[irach] Proton? Postively incorrect
[INJ] The humble hadron? YES, by Jiminy!
*hands over a baton made of, amongst other things, hadrons*
Slightly worried about what will happen when the hadrons in my hand collide with those in the baton.
Ah, we appear to be all right.
So let's try ABSTRACT with MINERAL connections
Rock of Ages?
[irach] - aged rock? - NO
*A few members of the audience exchange significant glances*
A statue that no longer exists?
[Phil] - Colossus of Rhodes, etc. - NO
A proverb, aphorism or saying?
[irach] - well-known phrase or saying? - NO
Between a rock and a hard place?
[Raak] - well-known phrase or saying about rocks and hard places? - NO
Title of a literary or theatrical work?
A site or construction of 'cultural significance'?
A flying start
[irach] - Title of a literary or theatrical work? - YES *Applause*
[Dujon] - building site? - NO
Written in the 20th century?
[CdM] - C20 - NO
Title of a book?
[Phil]- Book title? - NO
Play?
This may not take long
[Kim] - Play? - NO
Opera?
Poem?
Film title?
The jukebox musical "We Will Rock You" ?
Are mines involved?
Sorry - called away
[irach] - opera - NO
[Kim] - Poem - YES *Applause*
[Phil] - never heard of it, so - NO
[Raak] - the pits - NO
[irach] - not a film either
"Composed upon Westminster Bridge" by Wordsworth?
Does the mineral connection occur in the title?
Does something to do with rock or stone appear in the title?
Would this have a relationship to a peacock?
Just a matter of time
[irach] - The commuters' poem - NO
[Rosie] - Mineral connection in title - YES
[Phil] - Rock or Stone in title - NO *a few audience murmurs*
[Dujon] - Peacockery - Not to my knowledge
Is there a religious connection?
Does the mineral connection refer to something real (for example "Under Ben Bulben", rather than "The green eye of the little yellow god")?
Is the mineral component water as in "Sea Fever"
Written in C19th?
Does it have anything to do with Hay Fever?
[Kim] - religious connection? - Best answer is NO
CdM - is the mineral real? - Very tricky. I could argue for NO, given the examples you cite, but actually the real answer is 'I don't know (and AFAIK neither does anyone else), but I would guess it was YES'
[irach] - watery - NO
[Projoy] C19 - YES
[Kim] - hay fevery? - NO where did that come from?
Keats?
Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem , "The Holy Grail"
Ode on a Grecian Urn?
(shamelessly climbing on Projoy's shoulders)
*I can't stop myself* - [CdM] What's a Grecian Urn?
Truth is beauty
[CdM] Im sure it is not all ye know on earth, but it is all ye need to know to win this round.
Ode on a Grecian Urn it is.
([Phil] Neither can I) - About 10 drachmas a day
One baton passed on, despite the best efforts of Merlina Mercouri.
VEGETABLE with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
Bird Seed?
Bird seed? No.
Welsh rabbit?
Is the animal connection part of the name or descriptor of the vegetable?
[INJ] I thought it might be Gray's Allergy.
Welsh rabbit? No.
Animal connection part of name or descriptor of vegetable? Yes. *applause*
horse chestnut?
[Kim] That's dreadful!
She stoops to conker? No.
Is the animal a mammal?
Mammal? Yes.
Swede?
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Swede? No.
Fruit? No.
Edible?
Is it processed?
Is the vegetable a grass?
Edible? Yes.
Processed? No.
A grass? No.
Is the vegetable a vegetable?
Is tha answer just the name of the vegetable?
is the animal human?
King Edwards?
Answer just the name of the vegetable? Yes.
Is the animal human? Yes.
King Edwards? King Edward's what? Oh, sorry, No.
Broccoli?
Is the vegetable a vegetable? No. (Sorry, I missed that earlier.)
Broccoli? No.
Is the vegetable a berry?
Is the vegetable a flower?
Is the vegetable a seed or grain?
Any other options?
Berry? No.
Flower? Yes. *applause*
Seed or grain? No. But there is a connection. *brief puzzled pause, followed by audience laughter*
A specific named varietal?
Not sure of my technical terms here - I mean are we looking for something like 'Rosa Alan Titchmarsh' rather than 'a tea rose'?
Dog Rose?
Queen Anne's Lace?
A specific named varietal? Yes. *applause* (But it isn't Rosa Titchmarsh, whoever she may be.)
Dog rose? No.
Purple clover, Queen Anne's Lace? No.
Female personna?
Is the animal a specific, named individual?
Female? Yes.
Specific named individual? Yes.
Is it a rose?
Rose? No.
Is it a cultivar (as opposed to a wildflower)?
Cultivar? Yes.
Flowering herb?
A rose?
A bulb flower?
Flowerin' 'erb? No.
Rose? Still no.
Bulb flower? No.
It is a flower whose type is often to be found in an English garden?
Nelly Moser?
In an English country garden? No.
Nelly Moser? No.
A female name?
Female name? Still yes.
Oops.. I. meant a female royal name?
Royal name? *brief pause for thought* Er, no. *audience laughter*
It is a flower whose type is often to be found on an English window-sill?
That is, would it be potted rather than growing in a flower-bed.
In an English country windowsill? No.
Is the female person's name integral to the name of the flower (eg, "Violet") as opposed to a variety of flower named after a specific individual?
Integral Name? No. INJ's Rosa Alan Titchmarsh is the exact form you are looking for: <flower><first name><last name>.
A tropical variety ?
Camellia Hari Withers?
Tropical? Largely topical, yes. *applause*
Parker-Bowles-Googie-Withers? No.
An aquatic plant?
Aquatic? No.
Er, in answer to irach's previous question, it is largely tropical. It is not particularly topical.
Native to the S.E. of the U.S.of A.?
Native to SEUSA? No. Which, um, you might have deduced from the fact that the SEUSA is not tropical...
Native to SE Asia?
Does it grow higher than a telephone box?
Native to SE Asia? Yes. (I could give a rather more detailed and pedantic answer, but I think Yes is the most helpful.)
Higher than a phone box? No.
A fragrant flower?
Fragrant? Hmmm... In general these flowers are often fragrant but I don't know for sure about this particular varietal.
In the orchid family?
An oleander variety?
In the orchid family? Yes. *applause*
oleander? No.
Masdevallia Celine Dion?
MCd? No.
Is the female person alive?
As this could take a long time...
Vanda Miss Joaquim?
Orchid Cyd (Charrisse) ?
Living? Yes.
Vanda Miss Joaquim? No, but *significant applause*
Orcyd? No.
Vanda Annette Jones?
Vanda Annette Jones? No. *significant silence*
Is it a 'National Flower'?
National flower? No. At least, that's not a description I would use... *laughter*
(I like this audience. It laughs at my jokes.)
(Perhaps the 'significant applause' to Miss Joaquim was too strong. Think of it more as applause that recognized a connection to the answer.)
N.B. We knew she was a national treasure, but it turns out that Linnea Borealis is also Sweden's national flower
Is it in the sub-family Apostasioideae?
Apostosio ... Apostasioioi ... Apastasio ... what he said? No.
Dendrobium Imelda Marcos?
Must be a slipper orchid.
Dendrobium Imelda Marcos? No. *the audience greets INJ's joke with stony silence*

However, then *the audience applauds excitedly*. "Dendrobium" is indeed the first word on the card. And "Imelda Marcos"? No, but ... so very, very close. *guffaws of laughter from the audience*.
I hate to have to say this, but [INJ], your sources have deceived you - the twinflower is the province flower of one of Sweden's provinces, it's not a national flower. (Sweden doesn't have one.) It's quite pretty though :-)
Aranthera Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo?
Please ignore my earlier question. I cross-posted.
Dendrobium victoriae-reginae?
Is the named person connected with politics?
[Phil] Good grief, is she still alive?
[Néa] Sadly, you're right (of course), but it does appear as a factoid in quite a few places.
D'oh!
Does the first letter of the second word come in the second half of the alphabet?
AGMA? No.
DVR? No.
Connected with politics? Yes. *applause*,
First letter of second word in third half of the alphabet? No (nor in the second half).
Was it initially hybridised in Singapore?
Hybridised in Singapore? Yes. *applause*
Well, I've got 2 that match all the criteria (though there are probably more, since it seems to be the norm that important visitors are given a tour of the Orchid Gardens and then have the latest cultivar named after them). However, etiquette demands that someone else gets a go first....
[INJ] I don't know -- I think you asked the vast majority of the key questions in this round (identifying it as a specific named varietal, native to SE Asia, and as an orchid, for example), so I doubt if anyone would begrudge you victory. I'm surprised you found more than one, given all the audience reactions, although I haven't checked the list myself.
[CdM] I agree. I think that INJ should deliver the cut of grass and take the baton. I was persuaded by the audience reaction and your response to INJ's "Imelda Marcos" suggestion that the connection was the Phillipines.
Philippines? No. Don't listen to the audience; they are purposely being obscurantist.
Let's try Den. Kaneko Ikeda?
Thank goodness that it wasn't in the 2nd half of the alphabet, or I'd have been forced to try den. Margaret Thatcher!
If this is wrong then it's definitely someone else's turn
And then again.....
Ah, I've just realised that you could take the 'second word' question 2 ways - I was thinking about the second word of the name, not the second word on the card. If I have misapprehended, then please amend my answer as appropriate - especially as St Margaret is a 'better' answer.
Den. Margaret Thatcher it is! A delicate flower if ever there was one (and, yes, I puzzled over the meaning of "second word" too). *hands hybridized baton to INJ*
*ponders the matter of how confusing the term "second word" can be, given that one had just been informed of the correctness of the first word* The list of 1900 dendrobia did not include that one :-(
[Phil] Nothing wrong with your question, and I answered it correctly -- but I did have the same initial reaction as INJ. I think that, mentally, the first word was out of the way, and we were now concentrating on a two-word name, so it was easy to think of the second word in that delimited context.
(Or, possibly, it's some kind of genetic defect.)
I put it down to dipping in and out very quickly.
The next one is MINERAL with ANIMAL connections
The Old Man of Hoy?
[CdM] - A Hoy there? - NO
I'm pretty much in wall-to-wall meetings today, so may not get back to this until later. So here's a few answers in advance:
- NO
- Partly
Damn, I didn't think you'd ask that - YES
[INJ] Are you a carpet fitter by trade?
Is the animal human?
[INJ] Is dipping in and out a genetic defect too? *grins*
Mineral metallic?
Is it pig iron?
OK here we go
[Kim] - Carpet Fitter? - NO ;-)
[Phil] - Human? - NO (anticipated as first question)
[Software] - Metal? - NO (wrong question)
[Kim] - Rock Island Line cargo? - NO (you were obviously put off by Software getting it wrong)
Is the animal a bird?
[Néa] - a bird? - NO
Is the animal a mammal?
Rock lobster?
[Irach] - a mammal? - YES
[Phil] - Rocky Lobster Show - NO
A farm animal?
Is the subject a representation of said mammal?
[irach] - cowsheepchickenllama? - NO
[Dujon] - a representation? - NO (but *some applause*)
Tiger-eye (the gemstone)?
A natural feature?
Does it begin with P?
[irach] - Eye of the tiger? - NO
[Rosie] - Natural? - NO
[CdM] - P-led? - Damn, I didn't think you'd ask that - YES
Is it the animal component that begins with the letter "P"?
[irach] - Panimals? - NO
Unique?
[INJ] Is that because you thought I'd ask that, not CdM?
The "Pink Panther" gem of Clouseau infamy?
[Tuj] -Unique - YES (No, just because it hadn't been asked so much recently)
[irach] - La Panthère Rose? - NO
Smaller than a toaster?
[INJ] Ah. Well, I've not spent much time MCing lately =)
[Tuj] < Toaster - NO
Would this be a fossil?
A work of art?
[Dujon] - Fossil? - NO
[CdM] - Work of art? - NO is probably the most useful answer, though there will be dissenting voices
A work of architecture?
[CdM] - The Built Environment? - YES (I couldn't have made that much more obvious, could I?)
Oh, and *audience applause*
Is the animal feline?
Spooky
[Iroul] - with cat-like tread? - YES *considerable applause*
Is it a building with a feline link in the name?
Just to confirm
[Phil] - Is it a building with a feline link in the name? - it is a work of architecture with a feline link in its name
Is the work of architecture in the USA?
[Kim] - In USA? - NO
Is it zoomorphic?
Is the "cat" actually a puddy tat as opposed to, say, a lion?
A lion in Trafalgar Square
A few weeks ago, only one team out of eight in my pub quiz got the correct answer to "How many stone lions are there in Trafalgar Square?"
Hidden textNone, they are made of bronze
[GIII] - zoomorphic - NO
[Rosie] - Minimog? - NO *applause*
[Phil] - I knew the answer to that question, therefore I refer you to my answer to Software (OK then, - NO - to save you looking)
Sports connected?
Arts connected?
Is the work of architecture in England?
[Iroul] - Sporty? - NO
[Kim] - Arty? - NO
[Rosie] - Anglo-Saxony? - NO
The Pantheon
[Software] - Pantheon? - NO
Is it in Asia?
[Phil] - In Asia? - NO *audience remains interested*
BTW - as a clarification - the words on the card do begin with a 'P'. However, I would accept an answer that doesn't. Is that confusing enough?
In Australasia?
Is it a club?
[Phil] - OZ? - NO
[Kim] - clubbable? - NO
Is it on an island?
ie as opposed to a continent
[Iroul] - On an island? - NO
Don't read too much into the audience reaction - it would be helpful to find out where this is, but that's not the only line of approach.
In Europe?
[Rosie] - In Europe? - YES
In Spain?
Homing in
[Kim] In Spain - YES *audience applauds eagerly*
"El Gato de Botero" en Barcelona?
[irach] - Puss in Boots? - NO
Is it Moorish architecture?
Does the P stand for "Plaza"?
Worth waiting for
[Néa] Moorish? - YES *loud applause*
[Phil] - P-laza? - NO
Patio de los Leones?
It's the CdM and INJ show
[CdM] Claro que si
It is the Patio de los Leones, or Lion Courtyard, in the Alhambra in Granada.
*hands an exquisitely carved baton to CdM*
That was dangerously close to a lurker's victory. This next is I think best described as
ANIMAL
though some might make a case for ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
A lion's share?
Lion's share? No. (For the record, that is much more definitely abstract than what is on the card.)
An animal product?
A breed of animal?
An expression?
Animal product? No (at least not in the sense that I presume you mean).
Breed of animal? No.
An expression? No. *some muttering and discussion in the audience, however*
The title of a work of art/literature/other stuff like that?
Is it something that is made from Animal?
A collective term?
Entitlement? No.
Made from animal? No.
Collective term? *audience goes "oooooh"* Yes, sort of. Or possibly No, not exactly.
Is the animal a particular species?
Is the animal human?
A particular species? No.
Human? I've been waiting for this question, yet I'm still not quite sure how to answer it. In a more narrow and literal sense, the best answer is probably No, but in a broader and/or figurative sense the answer is Yes, in some cases.
Does this relate to intelligence?
Related to intelligence? No. (There might sometimes be a connection with the figurative sense of the words on the card, but I think No is the best answer.)
Herd instinct?
Herd instinct? *a moment of surprised silence, followed by loud applause* No.
Does the answer on the card describe a type of behaviour?
A type of behavior? Yes (for a reasonably broad definition of behavior).
Is the behaviour aggressive?
Herd mentality?
A swarm?
Migration?
It being that time of year.
Aggressive? Not aggressive as such, but still *a smattering of applause*
Herd mentality? No.
A swarm? No, but * applause*
Migration? No, but *a little applause*
A stampede?
A stampede is correct! *throws the baton in Rosie's direction and runs out of the way as quickly as possible*
(CdM) Fear not. Now, where's Mandelson?

This next one is A N I M A L.

Non-human?
Non-human? No.
Alive?
A specific, named individual?
A specific named individual? - No. *mild audience amusement*
Alive? - Some are, some aren't.
A race?
A nationality?
Holders of a particular office?
(Phil) Not a race. A race apart, some would say.
(nights) Not a nationality.
(Irouléguy) Not a holder of a particular office.

The words on the card are singular, preceded by the indefinite article.

A Corporation Sole?
(Kim) Er, wossat then? I don't think it's the answer.
The rich?
...being different from the rest of us.
A spin-doctor?
A pejorative description applied to a group?
A royal family?
(Irouléguy) No, not the rich.
(Softers) Spinner/Spinster? No, but *some audience murmurs of appreciation.*
(INJ) Not pejorative, but a group, yes.
(Graham III) Not the royals. *some mild audience laughter.*
The Government
A Governmental or political post or office?
A Corporation Sole is an entity in law comprising, at all times and from time to time, a single individual. It enables property to vest in the entity without having to be transferred each time the individual changes. Its helpful, for example, in ecclesiastical matters, where the property (churches, land, etc) subsisting in a particular diocese (eg, Chelmsford) vests in the Corporation Sole (eg, "The Diocesan Bishop of Chelmsford") rather than the particular individual who happens to hold that post at that moment (currently, The Rt Revd John Gladwin). Hope that helps.
(Phil) Not the government.
(Kim) Not a political office. Not an office at all, really.
Is this an occupation (e.g. Soldier, Sailor, Candlestick maker)?
Is one of the words on the card a collective noun?
Is this specific to a particular culture or country?
To do with the written word?
Is it related to a game or pastime?
Related to the military?
(Dujon) An occupation - YES
(CdM) Any collective nouns? NO.
(Irouléguy) Particular country or culture? No, but certainly more prevalent in some cultures.
(Softers) Written word? YES. *vigorous audience applause*
(Bigsmith) Game or pastime-related. Can be, but certainly not necessarily. *some scattered hesitant applause*
(Raak) Militarily related? NO.
Second thoughts
The audience could possibly have made a bit more of Bigsmith's question.
Connected with education?
Are there TWO words on the card in addition to the indefinite article?
(INJ) Connected with education? NO.
(Chalky) Two words plus indefinite article? YES.
Do either of the two words begin with P? :-)
A sci-fi writer?
(Chalky) Pinitial? - Psorry but NO.
(Phil) NO, not sci-fi.
A Poet Laureate?
(irach) The poet Laurie ate? NO. *cruel audience laughter*
A Weather Forecaster?
(Chalky) Not a forecaster. (See Softers' last question).
Are puzzles involved?
(Dujon) Puzzles? NO.
related to journalism?
A critic?
(INJ) Related to journalism? Strictly speaking no, but there is frequently a connection. *audience applause*
(Softers) Not a critic.
An author?
Related to the law?
A Movie (or Theatre) critic?
(Phil) Author? A case could be made out for YES. *applause*
(Kim) Not law-related.
(irach) Not any kind of critic. (see Softers' last question).
A sports writer?
A ghost writer?
(Softers) Could be, but not the words on the card.
(irach)_ A GHOST WRITER it is. Well done, as long as it's your own words. :-). Over to you; make it easy.
Okay, this one is ABSTRACT WITH MINERAL CONNECTIONS
Coal mining?
[Rosie] Not coal mining.
A human concept?
Neil Young's 'After the goldrush'?
Between a rock and a hard place?
[Software] Not as such.
[Irouleguy] No. [Bigsmith] No. (Smattering of audience attention)
Visible in nature?
[Kim] Figuratively, yes....
Ahem...
Begins with a P?
Is it a saying?
[Tuj] Ahem...Ahem... No.
[Graham III] Yes, a saying of sorts.
Does it involve a natural feature?
{Rosie] Not so much a natural feature as a natural object.
Is the mineral rock?
A gold mine?
Are precious metals involved?
[ImNotJohn] The mineral component is composed of rock, but not the word "rock" per se.
[Software] Not a gold mine.
[Kim] No precious metal.
A stone's throw?
[Software] You got it! Close enough and yes, cigar."Just a Stone's Throw Away" were the exact words on the card.
P
This round begins with a "P".
Perfect :)
Looks to me like it began with a T.
[CdM] Hmm, I think you're right. Maybe we should wait 'til it's penelope's turn to set one.
Who? Me?
Well I never! I actually guessed it!!

Mmmm, bu**er! That means I'll have to think of something.

I know!

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, MINERAL and VEGETABLE connections.

Anarcho-Syndicalist Recipe for Pot-roast?
One day, mark my words....!
Does it appear in the works of Douglas Adams?
A television series?
Does it start with a B?
[Tuj] ;-Q
Raak - No, but could easily have done so :o).
Tuj - No.
G III - B? No.
"The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"?
Is it unique?
[GIII] Well, what face are you pulling there?
A human construct?
An imaginary planet from a science-fiction novel?
Tuj] I think it's 'tongue-in-cheek'.
irach: Nope.
Tuj: Well, yes and no. * audience mutters *
Rosie: Yes, absolutely.
Iro: No.
Is the answer the title of an artistic work?
I'm assuming that Anarcho-syndicalist watsit was off the mark....
Anything to do with the current banking crisis?
Kim: - That's a matter of opinion, but the least misleading answer is No.
Rosie: - Yes.
Is it a collaterised debt obligation?
A sub-prime mortgage?
Is it a financial vehicle?
G III: - A what? er No.
Raak: - No. * audience mutters *
IMJ: - Not a financial vehicle.
Is the vegetable connection paper?
A set of rules or protocols?
CdM: - Yes
Rosie: - No.
A legal document?
Is the word "money" in the answer?
Frozen pig belly futures?
Don't believe me?
Hmm, case of the disappearing web reference. Try Here
Dow Jones' Industrial Average
The Financial Times?
Raak: - Not a free lunch for a lawyer, No.
Tuj: - Not as such, No.* audience stirs *
G III: - Interesting, but No.
irach: - No. * audience nervous laughter *
Phil: - No.
Monetary policy?
Is a particular currency part of the answer?
The RPI?
Was it originally 3 pages long?
CdM: - No.
Irouléguy: - No.
Raak: - No.
G III: - No.
Payment in cash?
Was it something that the typical player of this game was likely to have given much thought to a month or more ago?
Rosie: - No. * audience chuckles *
CdM: - It's probably something that has been on many a morniverser's mind, so Yes.
"The stock market"?
Anything to do with pensions?
Is the answer an abbreviation?
Anything to do with mortgages?
Is Tuj an abbreviation?
Any chance that you might answer the questions by indicating which question you are referring to?
The credit crunch?
Do the paper and mineral connections refer to money?
irach: - No. * audience mutters *
Tuj: - No.
Kim: - Yes. * a few claps from the audience *
Chalky: - I didn't think there was any ambiguity.
Irouléguy: - Spot on! YES. Over to you!
CdM: - Close, but no cigar.
*steeples fingers* Ex-cellent! Smithers, throw another pauper on the fire.

OK, our next is ANIMAL or VEGETABLE or MINERAL, or possibly a combination thereof.
McDonald's Meal?
Michael Jackson?
irach] McDonald's Meal? No
Tuj] Michael Jackson? Nice one - but no
Human animal?
Is this one thing in three or more different versions?
Is it always the same size/shape?
Software - Human animal? No
Rosie - Is this one thing in three or more different versions? *murmurs of approval from the audience* Yes, though the versions part is a bit of a red herring.
Tuj - Is it always the same size/shape? *hum of discussion in the audience* Size, no; shape - umm, sort of.
Glue or Adhesive? It can be derived from animal, vegetable or mineral.
Would this be a carving?
I do not mean the head of the house at Sunday dinner.
Manufactured?
[Software] I think you may have misread my extremely awkwardly worded penultimate question in your round, but no matter. :-)
(or maybe not, I suppose -- I think that there was more credit crunch talk in the UK than in many other places following the Northern Rock failure...)
# irach] Glue or Adhesive? It can be derived from animal, vegetable or mineral. *applause* No, though glue or another adhesive could well be involved.
Dujon - Would this be a carving? No
CdM] Manufactured? Yes (though not necessarily machine-made)
CdM] I think you're right the second time - my guess was a response to yours and Rosie's questions together, so Softers' answer worked.
Can one make one of these things oneself?
Rosie] Can one make one of these things oneself? *applause* Yes
Is it a one-word answer?
Tuj] Is it a one-word answer? One word plus an indefinite article
Have you made one of these things?
Is it decorative rather than functional?
CdM] Have you made one of these things? Yes, though not very well.
Rosie - Is it decorative rather than functional? No - the other way round.

Hint - sometimes it's plural rather than singular.
Is the animal connection in the form of a material, like leather?
Is it an item of clothing?
Software - Is the animal connection in the form of a material, like leather? * loud applause* Yes
Kim - Is it an item of clothing? *muted applause* No
Is it an item of footwear?
A bag or similar functional container?
Kim - Is it an item of footwear? No
irach - A bag or similar functional container? No
A belt?
Is the animal material actually leather?
irach - A belt? Yes
Rosie - Is the animal material actually leather? It could be, but not necessarily.
An item of national dress?
Graham III - An item of national dress? No
Suspenders?
irach - Suspenders? No
Is this an article into which an object (or objects) are inserted?
I am thinking here about tool belts, bandoliers, holsters and their ilk.
Dujon] Is this an article into which an object (or objects) are inserted?
Interesting guess, but no. Some of those things might have one (or more) of these, though.

Hint the second - it's not any type of undergarment.
A watch strap?
Would it normally be worn by a person?
(Rather than an animal)
Software - A watch strap? No
ImNotJohn - Would it normally be worn by a person? Person rather than an animal, yes - but it's not 'worn' as such.
Is it associated with a particular profession?
Graham III] Is it associated with a particular profession? No
A buckle or similar fastener?
Garters?
A dog tag?
Fanny Pack? Bum Bag?
CdM] A buckle or similar fastener? *some applause* No
Rosie] Garters? No
Software] A dog tag? No
irach] Fanny Pack? Bum Bag? Nono
A safety harness?
A seat belt?
Rosie - A safety harness? An interesting guess, but no
irach - A seat belt? Hardly
A bandolier?
A noose?
Is its primary function to attach something to some other thing (for a broad definition of thing)?
Also, does it begin with P?
Phil]A bandolier? Er, no
Graham III - A noose? My word, no
CdM - Is its primary function to attach something to some other thing (for a broad definition of thing)? *applause* Attaching - yes, sort of. Something to something else - no.
CdM - Also, does it begin with P? No (though it was Tuj who gave me the idea).
Dog leash?
A knee pad?
irach] Dog leash? No
Software] A knee pad? No

As CdM is wont to say, examine your assumptions. There's one assumption in particular that is leading people in the wrong direction.
A pair of hand cuffs?
Or any other sort of bondage equipment?
Is it usually part of a larger item?
Oh dear.
A Conveyer belt?
Graham III] A pair of hand cuffs? No (vegetable hand-cuffs?)
Raak - Or any other sort of bondage equipment? No, perfectly SFW
Tuj - Is it usually part of a larger item? *applause* Yes, always
irach - A Conveyer belt? No
A collar?
they could be made of string? Not necessarily good hand-cuffs, but hand-cuffs all the same.
Graham III - A collar? No
Hand-cuffs] Touché

A dressing gown cord?
Is it elastic?
When you made this thing, did you also make the larger item?
I think it is INJ who is wont to want you to examine your assumptions.
Graham III] A dressing gown cord? No
ImNotJohn] Is it elastic? No (hypothetically, I suppose it could be)
CdM - When you made this thing, did you also make the larger item? *murmurs of 'Good question' from the audience* No. If you made the larger item, you would also make this (or these) in the process, but people will also make (or remake) this (or these) having bought (or otherwise acquired) the larger item.

Apologies for any false attribution - it's good advice, whoever said it.
Is it decorative?
Graham III - Is it decorative? It can be, but it's primarily functional.
A saddle?
Is it used to carry something?
OK – let’s try to see what we know:
It is a belt but it is not worn as such and is not an item of clothing. It is a part of a larger whole, but can be made separately (a replaceable part?) It may be made of A, V or M and is always ‘sort of’ the same shape although the size can vary. If Animal this could be leather. Manufactured although not necessarily by machine. Irg has made one. It is functional rather than decorative. It has some 'sort of' connection with 'attaching' but not of one thing to another (still slightly confused by that). The answer is one word plus the indefinite article, but this could exist in the plural. It is not normally elastic (although that is not impossible). It does not normally contain or hold other things (bandolier, tool belt)
It is not: a buckle or fastener (applause), garters, dog tag or leash, safety harness, seat belt, handcuffs or other bondage gear, a conveyor belt or a number of other things excluded by the things we know.
Is it a drive belt?
Raak] Is it a drive-belt? YES! (Specifically a fanbelt, but that's good enough).Apologies for the 'connecting one thing to another' answer, which I think was wrong now - I was trying to get at the idea of it being internal. And the answer to Dujon's tool-belts question was misleading, as I didn't read it properly. Not one of my better ones. One baton improvised from tights handed over to Raak.
That was unexpected. Hmm... MINERAL and ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections.
Is it manmade?
By the by, the answer "Would it normally be worn by a person? Person rather than an animal, yes - but it's not 'worn' as such." rather threw me. Did you mean "NO"?
[G III] Man-made? Something man-made is involved.
Is the mineral metal?
But is it art?
[Software] Partly metal.
[G III] Not art.
Is the animal portion canine?
An everyday object?
Begins with a P?
[Irouléguy] Can I ask about the "it was Tuj who gave me the idea"?
[irach] Not canine.
[Rosie] Not an everyday object. Not in the sense you mean, that is. *laughter*
[Tuj] Yes! It does indeed begin with a P! Is that a first?
P-research
[Raak] No, it is a seventh, though I have asked the question 59 times.
People who aren't me have an improved success rate of 3 out of 12.
Meanwhile Raak has asked if the word has ended in P, and CdM set the answer "the set of all words beginning with P".
Does this relate to time?
[Dujon] Relates to time? In a way.
Is the animal part living?
Are the abstract connections to a work of art?
[Tuj] Also related: around the same time I also set "A P" in the sense of the Associated Press, and "urine".
[Tuj] The animal part is living.
[CdM] Not related to a work of art.
A horse and cart?
[Rosie] Not a horse and cart.
A cage?
[Rosie] Not a cage.
"Pig in a poke" ?
[irach] Not a pig in a poke.
Is the animal a source of energy to be used as, for example, motive power?
[Rosie] The animal makes it happen? Yes.
A Pony and Trap?
[Software] Not a pony and trap. The "motive power" thing may be misleading.
Is it the animal part that begins with the "P"?
[irach] The animal part is not the part beginning with P.
A rat-race?
[Rosie] Not a rat-race.
Is there an agricultural connection?
[Kim] Nothing to do with agriculture. *snoring from the audience*
Is the animal a mammal?
[Rosie] The animal is a mammal.
Is the animal normally associated with human contact (e.g. pet or livestock)?
[G III] Not a pet, not livestock. Associated with human contact? Well...you're thinking on the wrong lines. Hint: a frequently asked question has not yet been asked.
Animal human?
Why the FAQ didn't I ask that earlier?
Is the abstract connection a metaphor?
Fictional?
[Rosie] At last! The animal is himan.
[CdM] The abstract connection is a metaphor.
[Tuj] Not fictional. (Knowledgeable members of the audience and those who have just googled it murmur.) Not intended as fictional.
Is it "Manpower"?
[Kim] Not "Manpower".
Related to the bible?
Is the mineral part a specific object?
[G III] Not related to the bible.
[Rosie] Yes, a specific mineral object.
Is the human currently living?
[Kim] Not applicable. Not a specific human.
"People Power"
Is the mineral object implied rather than specified?
[Rosie] Yes to both.
Is this a phrase?
[Tuj] It is a phrase.
Is the word that begins with P "Power"?
[irach, sorry I overlooked this] Not "People Power".
[Kim] P is not for "power".
Summary: the phrase describes a specified mineral object, an implied one, and some human activity, and the whole is also a metaphor. Not biblical, artistic, or any of the specific guesses so far. It begins with a P.
The Press?
[Rosie] Not The Press. The very first word of this begins with a P.
Is the animal human part a plural noun?
[irach] The animal human is not mentioned.
Is the mineral partly glass?
Platinum artist?
[CdM] No glass.
[staniel] Not a platinum artist. (Not an artistic thing.)
*the audience sign up for cryonic suspension*
Is the metaphor assoicated with human endeavour (eg, nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel, that kind of thing)?
[Kim] Yes! Exactly that sort of thing!
Are the second and third letters U and T?
[CdM] Putting? No.
Is it also the title of a film?
First word a present participle?
Are the second and third letters U and L?
[Kim] Not the title of a film, according to IMDB. I think it ought to be, though. It would be rather a long one.
[Rosie] The first word is a present participle.
[Tuj] PULl the other one, it's got bells on.
Is there a mythical connection?
[Kim] No mything links.
Pulling your weight?
[Rosie] Not pulling your weight.
Are the second and third letters of the first word "U" and "S"?
[Kim] Pushy? No.
Any links to a game?
[INJ] Nothing to do with a game.
There are four words on the card.
I see my summary left out the information that this thing has a connection with time.
Painting the Forth bridge?
Aha!
[INJ] We have a winner! One bottomless bucket and a paintbrush handed over.
semi-lurking
I didn't think anyone would object, given how long this one has been going.
Rather more quickly, I hope, you will get to:
Abstract with Animal Connections - (Actually I could claim it as Abstract with Animal connections on 2 counts and Animal with Abstract connections on 1 - but don't let that confuse you)
Leaving now
Won't be looking at this until tomorrow morning now, I'm afraid.
Is the animal part human?
An activity?
[Kim] Human? - NO
[Rosie] Activity? - NO
An expression?
[Software] Expression? - NO
Is the animal of a species that exists in the world today?
Good question
[Kim] Animal species exists today? - NO (however, I am just a little wary of the exact form in which the question was asked)
Is the animal mythical?
[Raak] Mythical animal? - Hmm - NO, unless you mean 'is it fictional?', in which case, the answer is YES
A specific fictional animal?
(i.e., an individual animal like "White Fang")
Animal common in fantasy literature?
[CdM] Specific animal - YES
[G3] Common in Fantasy Literature? - NO
Begins with a P?
Does the animal appear predominantly in books?
[Tuj] THE question? - NO
[Kim] booky animal? - NO
From a children's movie?
[CdM] From children's film? - NO (and he claims he doesn't speak American)
Is the animal a human construction?
[Kim] Human Construction? - YES (in the sense that I think you mean)
Also YES in another sense *a few chuckles from the audience* and NO in a very obscure sense.
Confused enough now?
An animal bred for some purpose?
Is it an animal of legend (as distinct from myth)?
[G3] bred for some purpose? - NO
[Kim] Legend rather than myth? - NO - If anything the reverse, but neither is a good description
Is the animal a member of a real species (dog rather than hipporhinocecow, for example)
trying to hone in based on some previous answers...
And I never claimed any such thing. I speak American almost fluently.
[CdM] Member of real species? - YES
[CdM] "hone in"? **bang!!**
[Raak] ooops...
An animal of folklore?
[Raak] Although... maybe I was just demonstrating my command of fluent American for INJ. According to the M-W Dictionary of English Usage
The phrase [hone in] seems to have become established in American English, and is apparently beginning to be used in British English (Garner has a British example). If you use it, you should be aware that some people will think you have made a mistake.
Not surprisingly, the folks at Language Log have have also discussed it quite a bit. One of the interesting things is that though the verb to home has been around a long time, home in and hone in are both recent coinages. None of which is meant as a serious defense in my particular case, by the way; had I noticed it, I would have certainly chosen home in in preference.
Not well-honed
[Kim] Folklore? - NO
Is this animal primarily known for some artistic representation of it?
[CdM] artiswtically represented - NO (except for fairly wide definitions of 'artistic' and 'representation')
Is it a species of animal, rather than a single example?
[Kim] Species? - The answer would technically be a species, but it is known by a single example
From an adult film?
Not an "adult" film, you understand. Just an adult film.

(We now know that this animal is fictional, but not from a book, children's film, or known from an artistic representation...)
Would the aminal/species be known conventionally as a "dinosaur"?
[CdM] Film for adults - NO
[Kim] Dino? - NO
So, by a process of elimination....
From a teenage film?
Is the animal the subject of a poem?
Building on CdM's summary, if I have this right, the individual animal has never actually existed but is a human construction, represented not in books or artistic representation (which I take to mean painting, drawing, sculpture, etc) and not in any film made for children, adults or teenagers but in some other artistic form; moreover, the species to which the animal belongs is a real species, but the species does not exist in the world today, nor is it what we would call a "dinosaur".
Trojan horse?
From TV?
At last
[Kim] Subject of poem? - NO *some chuckles in the audience*
[G3] Trojan Horse? - NO
[CdM] TV - YES *sighs of relief*
The summary is correct, except around the 'species' (and this is my fault). It's probably best to say that the genus is real and current, but this particular creature isn't. After all, it doesn't exist, so has never been classified, so I'm extrapolating here - is it a species or a sub-species - search me. However, I suspect that you would probably think of it as part of an existing species.
Is/was there a real animal or animals who played the part of this fictional animal on TV?
(e.g., Flipper the wonder horse, Lassie the bush kangaroo) (I'm assuming not, because otherwise I think INJ would have led with Animal rather than Abstract ... but INJ's original definition did seem to leave the door open for lots of things.)
Mister Ed?
Was it a TV cartoon?
Associated with a particular actor?
Is the TV show named after the animal?
[CdM] Real Animal played part? NO (or I certainly hope not)
[Phil] Mr Ed? - NO
[Raak] Cartoon? - NO
[Projoy] Particular actor? - NO, not as such *Some muttering in the audience*[Kim] Named after animal? - NO
Mr. Blobby?
Is the animal a puppet?
Was the audience muttering because a known actor voiced this character?
Is our elusive friend a puppet?
Whoops! Sorry, Kim.
I'm also going to request a clarification on the classification. Though you have classified this primarily as abstract, does (or did) it still have some physical (presumably vegetable or mineral) existence? (Although maybe that is just a very roundabout way of asking Kim's question for the third time!)
[Raak] Mr Blobby? - NO
[Kim] Puppet? - NO
[CdM] Voiced by well-known actor - NO
[Dujon] - still no
CdM - Some physical existence? - YES *some applause* (but the classification is still correct)
Was this animal played by an actor in costume?
Not a real animal, not a puppet, and not a cartoon. Not many possibilities left.
Was the animal invisible?
Do we take your earlier rejection of "cartoon" to include all forms of amination?
Is it a logo or mascot?
I am thinking along the lines of something like Pudsey the bear (though not him of course as he begins with P).
One of the Playschool toys?
Just as an observation, we have nothing indicating that this is a children's show, though I think we are all tending to assume that it is.
[CdM] Gorilla-suited? - N)
[Raak] Invisible? - NO
[Kim] animated? - NO (I don't split hairs in this game)
[Bigsmith] Logo/Mascot - NO
Playschool? - NO
[CdM] Good point, well made.
Pantomime horse?
Well this is proving harder than I had ever imagined
[Software] Panto pony? - NO (precluded by answer to CdM's previous question)
Not a real animal, not a puppet, not a costumed actor, not invisible, not a cartoon or other animation. We are obviously missing something here but I am drawing a blank.
Was this animal ever seen (in some form or another) by the TV viewers?
Avian?
getting warmer
[CdM] Was the animal seen? - YES (it will become clear)
[irach] birdy? - YES *relieved applause*
"Phoenix rising from the ashes"?
[irach] Phoenix? - NO
Did the animal have an individual name?
"Eagle eye"?
Did the TV show feature a representation of this bird (e.g., a picture) rather than the bird itself?
[Raak] Named? - NO *a few murmurs in the audience*
[irach] Eagle eye? - Never heard of it, so NO
[CdM] Representation? YES(ish), a picture? - NO
There are 3 words on the card, including the indefinite article.
Is this from a comedy show?
[CdM] comedy show? - YES Loud and relieved applause*
Is it visible during the show?
[Phil] Visible? - YES
A Liver Bird?
[CdM] Liver Bird - Good guess, but NO
Was this seen in a pet shop?
"Dead Parrot" a la Monty Python?
Close enough for jazz
I don't want to draw this out so I declare irach the winner! The answer on the card was A Norwegian Blue
[CdM] The category that had not been suggested was 'a prop/model'
(To explain the convoluted intro 'a Norwegian Blue' can also be an orienteering course or the nickname of the earliest fossil proto-psittacoid, which was found in Scandinavia.)
One baton totally bereft of life handed on to irach.
Simulposted with:

That must be it, though I am guessing that "A Norwegian Blue" are the actual words on the card. (That's irach's win, not mine, if correct.)
Well, that one was put to rest at last. The psittacoid in question pining for the fjords is now in birdie Valhalla.... The next one is ANIMAL with an ABSTRACT Connotation.
Human?
A single individual animal?
Is the answer a phrase?
[CdM] Non-human.
[IMJ] More than one.
[Rosie] Sort of a phrase.
Lemmings?
A single species of animal?
A team or pack?
[Tuj] Not lemmings.
[CdM] Not a single species.
[Rosie] A team of sorts, not a pack.
Domesticated animals?
Likely to be seen in the wild?
(in counterpoint to INJ)
[INJ] Not domesticated.
[CdM] Yes, and no.
Fictional?
Dickybirds?
Land animal?
[Tuj] Fictional in part.
[Rosie] Not dickybirds.
[Software] Yes. Land animal
Does it begin with P?
To business.
[Tuj] 'Pologies, but no "P" whatsover, in either the beginning, middle, or end.
The Circle of Life?
Ouch.
[Tuj] Not the circle of life.
An animal of which there are both domesticated and wild examples?
[Kim] Only wild or presumed wild.
Does the name of an animal (or several) appear on the card?
[INJ] Yes, the animals are named.
Indigenous to the UK?
"Wild? I was absolutely livid!"
Do they form an heraldic or symbolic group?
[Bigsmith] Not indigenous to the US individually, but togeter, yes, very British.
[INJ] Yes, they form a heraldic or symbolic group.
Lion and Unicorn?
[Software] The Lion and the Unicorn it is. The baton is passed
Bu**er! That means I'll have to think of something. Right, after 30 seconds deep thought here it is:

VEGETABLE with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.

Terry Schiavo?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Is the vegetable wood?
Smaller than a toaster?
[Raak] Yowzer!
[Raak] Terry? No
[INJ] Wood? Yes.
[CdM] er.. No.
[Tuj] Toaster? Difficult one, probably Yes.
Are the animal connections human?
Is there only one of these?
A board game?
[Raak] Human? Yes.
[Kim] Unique? No.
[Tuj] Boardo? No.
A tool?
Found in a kitchen?
Long and thin?
[INJ] tool? some may say so, but a sensible answer is probably No.
[irach] kitchen? some would say Yes.
[Rosie] phalic? No.
Edible?
Chopsticks?
*wonders about the short fat approximately toaster-sized chopsticks that irach eats with*
[CdM] edible? theoretically, Yes.
[irach] ching-chang-chew? No.
Part of a foodstuff that is not normally eaten? (eg fish bones)
[Rosie] Fishy? No.
A container of some kind?
Specific to a particular culture or country?
[Tuj] Container? No.
[CdM]Specific country/culture? No.
Serves a decorative purpose?
I'm struggling with the edible wood.
Heart of palm?
[INJ] Decorative? No.
[Raak]Swamp cabbage? Had to Google that! No.
Advent calendar?
About the size of a toaster in all three dimensions, two dimensions, or one?
Found in most homes?*
* for a definition of home based on the Western European model
[G III] Chocolatey date thing? No.
[irach] Toaster sized? In one dimension maybe. Yes.
[INJ] Domestic? Yes. (random claps from audience)
Used in the preparation or serving of food?
Is the abstract connection something to do with the arts?
[INJ] Jamie Oliverish? Nah.
[CdM] Arty-farty? No.
Associated with apparel?
[INJ] wear it? No.
Clue?
Is the abstract connection a phrase or saying?
Does it begin with a 'P'?
Sorry Tuj, but we can only wait so long for you.
[Tuj] Clue? OK. This is a give away: almost everyone has used one of these.
[CdM] Abstract? Not a phrase or saying as such, but a familiar term.
[INJ] P? Not in the answer itself. * audience murmurs.*
Paper of some sort?
Toilet paper?
[Chalks] Paper? Yes. *audience claps*
[GIII] Bog roll? No.
Advent Calendar?
ooops - CANCEL THAT
Box of Tissues
Newspaper?
[Chalks] Advent calendar? You wish! And not paper hankies either. No.
[irach] The fourth estate? No.
Paper Towels?
[irach] Towels? No. Hint: it is paper, approximately toaster sized in one dimension.
Is is typically written on, e..g. foolscap paper?
[irach] Written? Not by hand, but Yes. * audience claps * Foolscap? Are you a lawyer?
A Telephone Directory?
A fortune cookie?
[CdM] Directory? The exact words on the Card!!!

Well done and over to you!! I'm glad that its gone because I'm away from a computer for the next 5 days and there would have been a big gap!

That was unexpected
OK. I am going to designate this as ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections, while acknowledging that many of you might have deemed this ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Begins with P?
Anubis?
Mythical?
A well-known phrase?
Pinitial? No.
Anubis? No, but *a tiny smattering of applause*
Mythical? No, but *some audience murmuring and consultation of dictionaries*
Well-known phrase? In a sense, yes, although that's not the best way to think of what you are looking for.
Fictional?
Fictional? In part, Yes; in part, No.
extinct?
Extinct? Er. I think the only reasonable answer is No.
Legendary?
Legendary? Yes, but *some audience murmuring and consultation of dictionaries*
A single, named creature?
Single, named creature? Yes. *applause*
An object of worship?
Object of worship? No (except perhaps in the exaggerated metaphorical sense)
An object of fear?
Object of fear? No.
In place of my rather convoluted introduction, it is probably better to describe this simply as ABSTRACT and ANIMAL.
But does it begin with P?
Pinitial? Still No.
Is its existence controversial?
Controversial existence? Not in the slightest. (I confirmed its existence a few days ago, as a matter of fact.)
Does it have a physical existence?
The MerLion?
Connected with a particular country?
[CdM] I'll believe you this time.
The answers to several of these questions differ depending on whether I am focusing on the abstract or animal component of the answer. My answers to date have been primarily directed at the abstract component (although I don't think any of them would be badly misleading when thought of as applying to the animal component as well.* With that in mind

Physical Existence? The abstract component has various physical manifestations (so I could also add MINERAL connections to the definition). As for the animal component, the best answer is probably No, (or perhaps Yes, of a sort), but had the question been phrased slightly differently I could have much more easily just answered Yes.
Connected with a particular country? Not exactly, but *applause*.
Merlion? No.

*Though I have never confirmed the existence of the animal component.
Does the animal represent in any way a particular human?
Particular human? The animal is a particular human, yes. *applause*
Is the human the holder of a certain position or title?
Connected with a particular religion?
Holder of position or title? Not exactly, but *applause*
Religious connection? No.
The Statue of Liberty?
Long shot.
Lady Liberty? Nope.
So is the animal fictional and the abstract nonfictional?
Fictional status of animal and abstract: The animal is non-fictional. The abstract is partly fictional and partly non-fictional.
Something like "Tom Thumb"?
Like Tom Thumb? Not at all. I would call that totally fictional.
Tom Thumb fictional? Perhaps not.
[Software] Ah. Well, that's what I get for taking Wikipedia as the last word on something. But, in any case, I think the answer is No.
{Software] By the way, I love the picture at top right in your link. "Tom Thumb's Waistcoat," it is labeled. But since there is nothing else in the picture to indicate scale, the waistcoat in question might just as easily be too big for Kobe Bryant....
Male?
Male? Yes.
This is proving harder than I expected, so I'll offer a clarification/clue with regard to the mythical/legendary questions. The answer on the card does not refer (in either the abstract or animal sense) to something mythical or legendary in a narrow, literal myth-or-fable sense of those terms. The answer (in both senses) is legendary in the broader celebrated-renowned sense of that term, and possibly even mythical in the very broad sense of that word ("idealized").
Is the human the holder of a particular record or accomplishment?
Holder of record or accomplishment? The human is known for certain accomplishments.
Dead?
Sporting accomplishments?
Dead? Yes.
Sporting? No.
A war leader?
A war leader? Sort of, yes. *applause*
Well, this is starting to get silly.
Did the human die within the last 100 years?
Alive sometime after1908? Yes.
Notorious rather than universally celebrated?
The Unknown Soldier?
Notorious? The human in question is perhaps not universally celebrated, but certainly "celebrated" is a better term than "notorious". The abstract sense is pretty much universally celebrated.
Unknown soldier? Hardly. *some laughter*
Born after 1908?
Born after 1908? The human in question was not born after 1908. The abstract sense cae into being after 1908 though.
Because you will probably have forgotten most of this when you resume this game in a post-Christmas alcoholic haze, here is a review.

The words on the card are sort of a well-known phrase that does not begin with P. The words have both an ANIMAL sense and an ABSTRACT sense. There is no controversy about the existence of either.

The ANIMAL sense is a particular male human, who was born before 1908 and died after 1908. He is known for certain non-sporting accomplishments and was sort of a war leader. He is celebrated rather than notorious, though not universally celebrated. He is legendary in the sense of being celebrated and renowned, and possibly mythical in the sense of being idealized, but he is not legendary or mythical in the more literal senses of those terms. He is not exactly connected to a particular country, but the question earned applause. He is not exactly the holder of a position or title, but that question also earned applause. He has no religious connection. He is not Anubis, the Merlion, Tom Thumb, Lady Liberty, or the Unknown Soldier.

The ABSTRACT sense came into being after 1908, and does have physical (mineral) manifestations. It is partly fictional and partly non-fictional, and it is likewise legendary in the broad senses of the words, but not in the narrow senses. I recently confirmed its existence.
T. E. Lawrence?
T.E. Lawrence? The human is T.E. Lawrence, yes. *sustained applause*. But, though this one is now clearly there for the taking, I cannot declare Raak the winner.
Come on, Raak, get a wriggle on.   ;-)
Lawrence of Arabia?
Lawrence of Arabia is indeed the correct answer. One Aqabaton delivered from the Turks to Raak.
The next is ABSTRACT.
The Riemann ζ-function?
n=∞
Not
Σ
 1/ns
n=1
Cognitive dysfunction?
Could be regarded as a symptom of one.
"Happy New Year"?
Oh, and Happy New Year to all.
Not a happy new year.
A human characteristic?
E.g. numeracy :-)
Not a human characteristic.
An organisation?
Not an organisation.
Anything to do with religion?
According to Wikipedia, no connection with religion.
Christmas?
Not Christmas.
A well-known phrase or saying?
Not a phrase or saying. Well, there's a phrase on the card, of course, but the mystery object is what it refers to, not the words themselves.
Is the mystery object Animal?
No, it's ABSTRACT.
Connection with science or scientific endeavour?
No connection with sciency things.
A human construct?
'cos somebody had to ask it.
Yes, a human construct.
Does the mystery object instil fear?
Any connection with the arts?
[Rosie] (laughter) Does not instil fear.
[INJ] No connection with the arts.
Does the mystery object represent an achievement?
Is this a sporting accolade?
[Rosie] No, but there could be an achievement involved.
[Dujon] Not sporting.
Related to Politics?
[INJ] Not related to politics.
Is it an activity?
[Kim] Not in itself, but activity could be involved.
Does it normally involve more than one person?
[INJ] Generally involves just one person.
Could it be considered enjoyable?
Might or might not be enjoyable.
An attitude or state of mind?
Not an attitude or state of mind.
Scientific/technical connection?
No scientific/technical connection.

I expected this one to be really easy..

Related to humour?
Not related to humour.
Anything to do with employment?
Nothing to do with employment. (The audience devolve into cockroaches and scuttle away between the floorboards.)
Any connection to sleep?
Zzzzzz....
How about a hint?
Seasonal relevance
New Year Resolution?
I resolve to hand the baton over to Chalky!
Have we taken a resolution to terminate old games?
No, I don't think we have.
It's been slowing down recently - but I still look at it and try to contribute at least once a day when I'm able to get online (though I try not to ask successive questions). Maybe we need fewer ABSTRACTs in order to get the thing moving along. After all, it's not as if other games are flying along.
Chalky appears to be fairly abstract at the moment ;o)
I'm sure she's here in spirit.
Absent friends
I don't get the feeling we are going to see Chalky soon.
EEEK!
sorrysorry. Have been away for a few days - had completely forgotten I'd posted that. Thanks for your patience ....

Next one: ANIMAL/MINERAL/VEGETABLE with ABSTRACT connections

I should be around for mornings and evenings for a few days so pile 'em up ....
Life, the Universe and Everything?
Animal is human?
One step at a time ...
Is it manufactured?
Is it a place or geographical location?
Is it you?
Is it Animal AND Vegetable AND Mineral in one instance?
[INJ] Life etc? NO
[Softers] Animal a Human Beeng? NO
[Raak] Manufactured? mmmm ... erm ... sometimes.
[INJ] Place or Location? NO
[Kim] Moi? NON :-)
[Phil] AVM in one instance? Good question - YES, it can be, but then, can, as likely, not be.
Objects that bear a miracluous resemblance to Jesus/Mother Teresa/Tony Blair/etc.?
[Raak] Incredulous Looky-likes? NO - but I suppose one could discern a resemblance given a vivid imagination :)
Would the animal be mythical?
foody?
Sorry for delay
[Software] Mythical? NO
[CdM] foody-y? YES!
A dish?
Food, not ceramic
[INJ] A dish? NO - not a dish
Some sort of convenience snack?
Mmm, salted crisps cooked in lard....
Pork Scratchings?
[Raak] Salty snack? Yes - could be
[Software] Pig scabs? Yes - could be

[INJ] I have cast off my pedant's hat to amend my reply to your recent question: Yes - could be
Normally eaten in a pub?
[Rosie] Pub Grub? Yes - could be
Is the occasion on which it is eaten significant?
Cost under a quid? (£1 Sterling, whatever that's worth today?)
[Raak] Eaten on significant occasion? Yes - could be
[Bigsmith] Low Cost? Yes - could be
Food in general?
A generic description of a meal?
(like 'a square meal' or 'breakfast')
A Tasty Snack?
[Raak] Food in general? YES! *audience cheers because the Animal/Vegetable/Mineral boxes have been ticked*
[INJ] Generic description of a meal? Not exactly 'generic' - but you're heading in the right direction..
[Softers] Tasty Snack? Yes - could be
A snack?
The "Mediterranean Diet"?
[Rosie] A snack? Yes - could be
[Raak] The Mediterranean Diet? Yes - could be

It may be more useful if I change the definition to ANIMAL/MINERAL/VEGETABLE/ABSTRACT [rather than 'with Abstract connections']. We can discuss the rights and wrongs of such a move when this has been guessed :)
Is it to do with dieting in general?
Consumed at a single sitting?
(I know - 'Yes - could be')
[Kim] Dieting? NO *audience chuckles*
[INJ] Single sitting? Funny you should say that/ Yes - it could well be consumed at a single sitting :-)
Overeating?
Munchies?
[Raak] Overeating? Not exactly - but * the audience applauds your attempt to explore the Abstract nature of this little puzzle*
[irach] Munchies? well - having the Munchies certainly links neatly with the words on the card.
Brunch?
Does the card include the word "traditional"?
{Raak] Brunch? Yes - could be
[Dujon] The card does NOT include the word 'traditional'
Cocktail party?
Does it have to do with the enjoyment of good food, but not necessarily to excess?
Who ate all the pies?
[irach] Cocktail party? Yes - could be
[Kim] Non - excessive enjoyment of good food? Yes - could be
[Software] Who Ate The Pies? No - but *audience applauds another attempt to explore the Abstract element*

[Aside to Softers - Are you in Jersey or Guernsey? My memory fails me]
Eating in general?
[Raak] Eating in general? The AotC certainly suggests eating in general *< mode:clue > however, it isn't an action < /clue >*
A square meal?
[Chalky] Guernsey? Wash your mouth out!
[Software] A square meal? Yes - it could include one of those
What I (you? someone?) ate last night?
Entertaining in general?
[CdM] What we ate last night? Yes - it could include this
[Kim] Entertaining in general? Remember - The AotC is not an action. However, it IS entertaining :) <<<<< points to another clue
Finger foods?
A TV Dinner?
Food groups, nutrition triangles, or some such thing?
[irach] Finger foods? Yes - it could include these
[Sierra Mike] TV Dinner? Yes - it could include this
[CdM] Food groups, nutrition triangles, or such-like? OK - it could include these 'though such dour terminology sits uneasily with the AotC.

Hint: It may be helpful to approach this puzzle from the ABSTRACT angle as it's clear that the A/V/M part is 'food'.
Cookery programmes?
Junk food?
[Raak] Cookery progs? NO
[IruleOK] Junk? NO
Related to any grading system, e.g. Michelin stars?
A banquet?
[Raak] Michelins? NON
[Rosie] Banquet? NO

The negative replies only indicate that the guesses are not the Answer on the Card. How can something so tangible as food become an Abstract?
Fictional?
*applauds Raak*
[Raak] Fictional? Ooh - good question. YES - but I reply with some hesitation.
A work of fiction containing embedded recipes?
"Like Water for Chocolate", etc.
[Raak] fiction - embedded? NO
Food for Thought?
[Softers] Food for Thought? NO - but you and Raak are moving in the right direction.

Summary: The Animal/Vegetable/Mineral part is FOOD [any food in any guise]. The Abstract part originates from a work of fiction - but many things do! There is a key question that hasn't been asked yet. Oh - and it IS a well-known phrase or saying.
The Food of the Gods?
Does it begin with one of the letters A-O or Q-Z (inclusive)?
[Rosie] The Food of the Gods? NO - but *audience applauds with gusto!*
[CdM] At last! Not P? YES :)
The Staff of Life?
[Raak] The Staff of Life? Not the AotC, NO.

My response to Kim's question may provide a clue to the 'key question'
A Bun Fight?
getting desperate
[Softers] A Bun Fight? NO :)
Iron Chef?
The food of love / An aphrodisiac?
sneaking in two related guesses for the price of one.
Clarification please
AotC????????
[Raak] Iron Chef? [Who is this person?] NO
[CdM] Aphrodis/Lovin'food? NO
[Sierra Mike] Answer on the Card [as per the original ISIHAC game :)

There is still a key question that should bridge the gap between 'originates from a work of fiction' and the answer. There is an intermediate level. Please keep asking Abstract-type questions and forget about guessing random food-related phrases.
Supping with The Devil?
Use a long spoon, they say.
tum te tum te tum
[Rosie] Suppin with Devil? NO
Is the work of fiction (primarily) a book
i.e. best known as a book rather than say, the film of a book
Was the phrase coined in the 20th century?
[INJ] Book/Film? Good question. Originally a BOOK - which is very well-known by a very well-known author. The book has been adapted [I use the term deliberately] to make a FILM - which is well-known in a different way. The AotC comes from the FILM.
[Graham III] Coined in C20? Absolutely YES - the second half of the century.
*hints that the Book has been mentioned in 'Ex Libri Bardus'*
Wuthering Heights
In my own defense I Googled it before I asked.
AOTC Attack of the Clones (Star Wars Episode Two)
AOTC Australian Overseas Telecommunications Corporation
AotC Ark of the Covenant (gaming)
AOTC Ahead of the Curve
AotC Aspect of the Cheetah (gaming, World of Warcraft)
AOTC Associated Offices Technical Committee (UK)
AOTC Ahead of Time Crew (band)
AOTC Autodesk Official Training Courseware
A.O.T.C. - Association of Orthopaedic Technologists California
AOTC - Amarillo Obedience Training Club
AotC Army of the Cumberland
AOTC Atlantic OSHA Training Center
AOTC Administrative Office of the Trial Court
I also swept back in the game itself, though obviously not far enough.
The Naked Lunch?
Eats, Shoots and Leaves?
la la lala la la lala
[INJ] The Naked Lunch? NO
[Kim] Eats Stuff? NO *audience sighs and seeks alternative entertainment*
I might well have missed something or other in this rather drawn out seeking: Given that - is this (at least) something like 'Manna from Heaven' ?
[Duj] Manna from Heaven? Yes - it could be - but it's not the AotC
*attempting to entertain the audience*
In addition to the BOOK and the FILM there is also a STAGE production.
Food of the Gods?
[Softers] Food of the Gods? I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous reply to Rosie. ^^^^

...and while you're up there - you may spot all the clues I've been giving. [Where's Projoy when you need him?]
food, glorious food?
Damn! How did I miss that?
Answer, Glorious Answer!
At last dear CdM - the very Words on the Card *audience applauds, cheers and generally goes wild*

The SONG from the FILM and the STAGE production which is an adaptation of the BOOK. A well-known phrase all about FOOD which is very entertaining.
Thanks for letting me off the hook.
[INJ] shame on you :)

* hands over a stuffed baguette to CdM*
[Chalky] Please miss, can I have another?
[CdM] um ... only if I can guess yours :)
All right. This is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.
Is the answer an Abstract Noun?
Abstract noun? No. The answer is a noun phrase that refers to something abstract.
A saying?
A Place?
A human construction?
Mineral metal?
Fictional?
A saying? No.
A place? No
Human construction? Yes.
Metal? No.
Fictional? Yes.
Would this abstractness be . . . well . . . revelationary?
revelationary? I'm really not sure I understand the question. But I can say that it would be useful to learn what kind of abstraction this is. Also, some claim that this abstraction is something some claim to be very revelatory or revelationary or something.
A book?
Book? No.
Anything to do with the internets?
Does it begin with P?
Internetty? No.
P-begun? No.
Science Fictiony?
Sciffy? No.
Mineral stone?
Mineral stone? Yes.
Related to the arts?
Arty? Yes, for a reasonably broad definition of "arts".
A statue?
Statue? No. (abstract, remember)
A pillar of some kind?
A monument?
Pillar? No. (abstract, remember)
Monument? No. (abstract, remember)
Between a Rock and a Hard Place?
Is the animal connection human?
Hard rock? No.
Human animal? Yes.
Is it a painting?
A specific human?
e.g. The Iron Chancellor
Specific human? Yes, but be careful how you interpret that answer.
Err....is it a painting?
Oops
Repainting? No. (abstract, remember)
The Theory of Evolution?
Talking about an evolution? No.
Related to a craft?
Crafty? No.
The Man in the Moon?
Mr. Moonlight? No.
Is it a title (e.g president of blahland)?
Religiousy, faithy ?
Is the human a single named real person
(Now, how many questions is that?)
Lady? No.
Madonna? No.
Single named real person? Yes, yes, yes and no.
Perhaps I should punctuate that less ambiguously as: yes; yes; yes and no.
A fictionalised representation based on a real person?
A character in literature?
Fictionalised representation based on real person? Yes.
Based on a novel? No.
Political?
You say you'll change the constitution? No.
Is it associated wih a specific country?
Know where land? No.
I should qualify that last answer. It is probably associated with a particular country but I don't think those associations are particularly relevant or useful.
Give us a clue
A little help
It was getting lonely in this game without you; I thought you were all leaving. I've already peppered clues throughout my last few answers, being for the benefit of you all. Really, I thought you were all getting better at these, but now I don't think you are going to work it out for another fifteen years.
John Bull?
Is 2024 significant?
Some connection with popular beat combo The Beatles?
John, Paul, George and Ringo
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds?
Such a lovely audience
John Bull? Er, no.
Is 2024 significant? I dunno, Projoy. Will you still be sending me a valentine?
Beatly? The audience would applaud this preternatural leap of deductive logic, but they are all too distracted by something shiny.
LitSwD? Yes! Phil gets the psychedelic baton.
A hint of lurking, but I think I did ask a question earlier.

Let us proceed with ANIMAL

The obvious:
Human?
[Dujon] Human? YES
Male?
[Rosie] Male? YES
A male human. That reduces the chances so:
Is this a male human who lives or lived?
[Dujon] Extant or extinct? YES
Alive?
[Rosie] Alive? NO
Was he alive some time in the 20th century?
[Raak] Alive during 20th century? YES
A political figure?
[Rosie] Political figure? NO
Your answer to Rosie's and Raak's questions does indeed raise other buts and ifs:
Was this man a scientist?
[Dujon] A scientist? NO
A writer?
Alive in the year 2001?
[Software] A writer? NO
[CdM] Alive in 2001? NO
A celebrity?
[Software] A celebrity? Hmmmm....if you mean "a famous person" then YES. But if you mean someone who seeks fame then NO.
A performer of any kind?
Alive in 1900?
[Rosie] Performer? NO
[GIII] Alive in 1900? NO
Famous largely for a single thing (is a single event rather than a whole career)?
[CdM] Famous for a single event? NO
A novelist or playwright (either)?
[Rosie] Novelist/Playwright? Neither
Someone who became accidentally famous?
[Software] Became famous accidentally? Tricky...probably YES *some interest from an intelligent audience*
Someone who was naturally reclusive?
Is there a sporting connection?
An academic?
Corpuschristitrimble.
[GIII] Naturally reclusive? I think I'll go for YES, although there could be some debate on "naturally".
[CdM] Sporting? NO
[Rosie] Academic? NO
A songwriter?
A Nobel Laureate?
[Rosie] A songwriter? NO
[Dujon] A Nobel Laureate? NO
A public servant?
[Rosie] Public servant? NO
An actor?
[GIII] An actor? NO
Some who makes things?
[Rosie] Makes things? NO
Did he live to more than fifty years old?
[CdM] Lived > 50yrs? NO
A soldier?
Were cyanide and an apple involved in this man's death?
[Rosie] A soldier? NO
[Dujon] Cyanide and an apple? NO

I'm tempted to give a clue, but I don't think it's needed just yet.

Did he give his name to something known by people of all ages?
[Rosie] Gave his name to something? NO
Eddie "the Eagle" Edwards?
grasping at straws
Notorious?
[Software] The Eagle? NO (no sporting connection)
[CdM] Notorious? YES *hearty applause*
Did he disappear?
A serial killer?
Criminal?
[GIII] Disappear? NO
[CdM] Serial Killer? YES *Even heartier applause*
[Projoy] Criminal? YES
British?
Hannibal the Cannibal?
[GIII] British? NO
[irach] Hannibal? NO
Did this man 'operate' from a shack somewhere in the U.S. of A.?
Mack the Knife?
[Dujon] Various questions asked, but I'm guessing that what you want to know is that the person in question is from the USA.
[Rosie] Mack the Knife? NO, it's a real person, as previously established.
The Boston Strangler?
[Software] Boston Strangler? NO
This shouldn't really take long, now that we've established that it's a real American serial killer, who lived in died in under 50 years, some time between 1901 and 2000.
A curious aside: no-one was ever arrested, charged or convicted of the "Boston Strangler" murders, and criminal theorists now believe that more than one person was involved.
Thanks Phil. That narrows it down to a hundred or so.
Fried?
That should narrow it down considerably.
Son of Sam?
Aka David Berkowitz
[IS,P!] Fried? If you mean did he fry his victims, then NO. If you mean was he executed on the electric chair, then also NO.
[INJ] Son of Sam? NO
Died of natural causes?
[Phil] Bollocks. I was sure it was Ted Bundy.
[IS,P!] Natural causes? NO
Was this 'gentleman's' fate (read death) brought about by a fellow prison inmate?
[Dujon] Done in by a fellow lag? YES *Intense applause*
Jeffrey Dahmer?
who I looked up last night on google, and have since been regretting ever reading about.
[Projoy] J. Dahmer? CORRECT! I thought that would go quicker, as he was the first serial killer that sprung to my mind. Not a terribly nice chap, but I do find the US police's attitude to their inept, racist, homophobic officers rather disgraceful and distasteful. Anyway, I hand over a baton made of nothing ghastly, thankfully.
So, Jeffrey Dahmer, then. Not exactly a name on everyone's lips. What proportion of the people in this country have ever 'eard of the bugger? The square root of a mouse's ear'ole, at a generous estimate. What on earth is the point of all this? There are better things to do than ferret around websites looking for the name, amongs hundreds, of American serial killers. The answer should be in one's head, if the spirit of the original game is to be followed. This game is a waste of time.
Yes but
As often happens, I find myself broadly in agreement with Rosie’s viewpoint, though not with his way of expressing it or conclusion. I lose interest in this game the moment it becomes evident that I’m going to have to start searching the web for the answer. I know others take the view that doing so is not unreasonable given the fact that this is an online game, so I won’t stop playing. However, if I get in again, I won’t select answers that I wouldn’t expect a good proportion of participants to know about.
Having said all that, I had heard of Jeffrey Dahmer, although it was only passive knowledge and I doubt if I would ever have dragged the name up without googling.
Over to Projoy
[INJ/Rosie] I apologise. I thought Jeffrey Dahmer was as well known as, say, Peter Sutcliffe, Myra Hindley, Harold Shipman et al. I didn't expect anyone to need to search the web to find the answer. It appears that I know a dangerously disproportionate amount about serial killers, and I did not intend that one to be so hard. My thought process was "Umm...what to do? I think I'll make it simple by just doing a person. Who shall I do? How about someone infamous rather than famous. Oh, I know...Jeffrey Dahmer." I even had a mental image of his photo in my head. Soz!
[Phil] You are obviously the person to have on one's pub quiz team - or are you the one who sets them?
Magnanimity
(Phil) A generous apology. The thing is that it is very frustrating, having scratched one's head throughout over what the answer could be, to find that you could never have got it in the first place. It's not as if I lack general knowledge, or was born, er, yesterday. On with the show, then.
Hm.
Well, I certainly had heard of Jeffrey Dahmer. I only resorted to google to get the fact about his being killed by another prisoner (which I didn't know). I certainly think of him as sufficiently infamous to be on the tip of people's tongues.

That said, I'm one of those who's happy to google and isn't disappointed to discover the answer was something I couldn't have guessed. For then I learn something new I did not know before and my life is just that bit brighter... and sometimes I still get to win the round despite only pretending to have known all along about the obscure answer. :-)

Anyway, my turn. This is something players may or may not have in mind already. ABSTRACT
Murder? ;-)
[Software] Both, actually - I write a quiz every week for the pub, so I tend to have a scant knowledge of a wide range of not terribly useful subjects.
Spring?
[Phil] And when dey met, it wuz... NO
[Rosie] Grass is riz? NO
To do with endings?
[Raak] Terminates here? NO
Homophobia?
Just a thought.
[Dujon] Filthy Prancing Shirtlifters? NO
A phrase or saying?
Connected with the arts?
[Phil] No apology required - my comment read as more critical than I intended. I was trying to agree with Rosie's general point rather than criticising your choice of subject, which may well have met my criteria for reasonableness. Casting my mind back, some of my subjects were probably not justifiable by those criteria anyway.
[Software] Linguistic trope? NO
[INJ] Artful? NO (only very tangentially and unhelpfully)
Scientific?
I know we keep having the same discussions over and over again in the morniverse. It may be one of its defining features. Still, this one is a more than a bit tiresome, because the discussion really is identical each time. Someone (usually Rosie, to be honest) complains that the chosen subject was unsuitable because they hadn't heard of it, and they conjecture that most others have not heard of it either. Someone else (often me, to be honest :-) ) observes that there is no requirement for this game to follow the "spirit of the original game", because this game is on the internets, where we have search engines. Can we just agree to disagree on this one, and accept that people have different standards for what makes a reasonable/good subject?

I'd add two points. First, I think Rosie may have actually misjudged Dahmer's notoriety. I certainly knew of him, and I suspect the majority here have heard of him as well (which probably says something good about Rosie and bad about the rest of us, come to think of it). Second, this is an international community, so I don't think the trivia of "this country" should be privileged: in the global scheme of things, I expect that Dahmer is much better known than Sutcliffe, Shipman or Hindley.
Specific to a single culture?
[CdM] Point taken - and I think my lack of knowledge about Dahmer probably reflects on me (I do tend to avoid that sort of story). That said; to me, googling to get the answer feels like cheating.
A human concept?
I'd never heard of him but I did Google-up 5 US serial killers wiped out in jail. I do, however, suspect that Shipman and Hindley are much better known this side of the pond.
[CdM] Scientific? IN BROAD TERMS
[INJ] Specific to a single culture? NO
[Software] A human concept? YES *some discontented muttering from epistemologists*
Mathematical?
[INJ] To be clear, if something can't be guessed with good questioning and a little googling, then I too would judge it a bad subject. I gave up on my experiment of using randomly generated topics from Wikipedia because they too often failed that test (an Estonian province comes to mind...).
[Software] Well, for some definitions of "this side" and "pond", yes. Very possibly not for my current definitions of those terms. Which was my point.
[CdM] Numbery? NO
Learning?
Could we please cease to comment on the previous challenge? Thanks.
Connectivity?
[Dujon] Learning? NO *a ripple of interest in the audience*
[Rosie] Connectivity? NO
Medical?
[Chalky] Medical? KIND OF *a couple of claps from the audience*
An idea?
[SW] An idea? YES, a sort of idea.
Related somehow to the discussions raised by the previous topic?
Sorry Dujon!
[Biggsy] Related to the Internet vs. Rosie's general knowledge, and which is better debate? Thankfully, NO.
Hm. Rosie's General Knowledge and The Internet. They're both rather marvellous bases for games... but which is better? There's only one way to find out!
Something to do with mental processes?
[Rosie] Mental processes? YES! *applause*
Would this have a direct relationship to the lore of the Australian Aborigine?
Risk aversion?
[Dujon] Dreamtime? NO
[Rosie] Risk aversion? NO
Is the answer a term for the analysis of certain mental processes?
A Freudian slip?
Memory?
[Rosie] Term for Analysis? NO
[irach] Saying one thing but meaning a mother? NO
[Phil] Memory? YES! But that's not the whole answer *muchos applausos*
Genetic memory?
[Dujon] Twisted to fit? NO
Nostalgia?
Projoy, you know perfectly well that my stockings are always seamless or straight. ;-)
[Dujon] Nostalgia? CLOSE! *"ooooh" from audience, and collective intake of breath, causing momentary decompression and fainting spells*
Long-term memory?
[Phil] Long-term? NO a couple of applaus.
Collective memory?
[Software] Collective? NO.
Folk memory?
[CdM] Recollections of The Seekers? NO
Is this a one-word answer?
[Chalky] Monolexical? NO. The word "memory" is on the card with one other word + an article.
A Recovered Memory?
Distant memory?
...Should have read "A Distant Memory?
A false memory
IIRC
[Rosie] A recovered memory? NOT QUITE, but you're practically treading on its tail now.
[irach] Distant memory? NO.
[Software] A false memory? YES! That is the exact answer I started with on the card... or at least... I think it was.
You know, I could have sworn I put a line under that last move.
I find myself winning again. That's a bummer, now I'll have to think of something. Wait there, I'll be back in a jiffy.
[Projoy] I was awake all last night trying to remember the proper word for memory loss...I ended up with insomnia...
I am obviously completely out of kilter with you lot, having never heard of the phrase 'false memory'...
;-)
[Chalky] Don't worry, you're in kilter with me...I'd never heard of it before either. Actually, you might want to worry, on reflection.
[Phil] Not even in the phrase "false memory syndrome" (a frequently occuring concept in crime stories!)
I'm fairly sure I've heard of false memory....fairly sure....
I knew it at one time - or did I?
[Projoy] No. Not until I looked it up - I don't read much any more, alas :-(
Got it!
Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.
"An Iron hand in a velvet glove"?
A religious icon of some sort or other?
Software, you really must realize that this is a family friendly site and that the word 'vegetable' should never have any less prominence than the words 'meat' and 'three'. I bet you hate Brussels sprouts, cabbage and cauliflower too. ;-)
Animal human?
(Duj) And so do I. I'd rather chew on a baby toad.
This game?
[Irach] Saw? NO
[Duj] Iconic? NO
[Rosie] Manly? YES
[Phil] Morniverse? NO
An invention?
Related to athletic pursuits?
[Rosie] I love vegies, Brussels Sprouts in particular.
[Rosie] Genius? NOish
[Duj] Humping? NO
An activity?
IT-related?
Including software.
[INJ] moving? NO
[Rosie] Me related? NO - audience mermers
Someone involved in the theoritcal construction of what we now know as a computer?
[Duj] Virtual Babbage? NO.
Does the animal lend its name to this?
Related to the Arts?
(defined as widely as you like)
Does what some animals do lend its name to this?
Does it begin with a P?
** Back from London conference **
[Rosie] Animal cracker? NO
[Duj] Beastly habits? In a loose kind of way, YES
[ISP] P? NO, not a one.
Is this a physical process?
[Rosie] A process? NO
[ISP] a slight update, there is actually a word beginning with P in the phrase
Is it a single specific mineral?
And my previous question as well please - (Arty?)
[INJ] Arty? NO; Specific mineral? NO
Would this be a mariner's term?
[Duj] A term? YES! but not a mariners
specific to a profession or trade?
[INJ] Trade or Profession oriented? Well, in a way, YES!
Would this be a verancular expression - such as 'taking the piss'?
[Duj] Mickey? NO. Hint: This is a 3 word phrase very much in the news at present.
Pigs might swim?
The Credit Crunch
Someone had to say it
[INJ] Cash shortage? NO. Not the words on the card but on the right track.
It's terribly, terribly quiet in here, Software. Perhaps all are awaiting the answer to my last?
[Duj] Swine fever? NO. [I've been on holiday :o)]
Popeye Eats Spinach?
This one was 'set' on 24th March - 7 flippin weeks ago!
[Softers] Bearing the above in mind - is your clue/hint still valid?
Is it related to the world financial situation?
[Chalks] Bluto? NO! (Welcome back, Chalky. Yes, it is still valid)
[INJ] Money, money, money? YES!
To do with MPs' expenses?
Simply gotta be.
sub-prime mortgages?
[Rosie] I think this clue pre-dates the breaking of that scandal.
[Rosie] Parliamentary rip-offs? NO. INJ has it in a nutshell, this game has been like the Mouse Trap.
[INJ] Toxic debt? NO. much less specific to the current times
Is the word "recession" on the card?
[Projoy]Lack of business confidence? NO.
To do with a healthy economy?
[Projoy] Boyancy? YES! actually can cut both ways but essentially correct
Inflation?
(it probably says something about my age that I associate inflation with economic health)
[Projoy] Bulging cost? YES Remember 3 words on the card !! have we made this a private game? ;o)
Any reference to bubbles?
Retail Price Index?
The housing boom?
Ding!

Passes the baton over to Chalks. Nice to see you back and in fine form!

[Softers] Thanks mate :-) Delighted and all that.
However, is this a poisoned chalice/baton I be picking up? I really don't want to set a new one unless I know for sure that all interested parties are going to play nicely and in a regular manner. [In otherwords: I'm not sure if I can sustain a chairpersonship for 9+ weeks - which is what you had to do]
Patience is a virtue ...
or so it's oft said. Just dive in the deep end and let it flow. I'm sure some people will play.
Oka-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay. I shall keep it simple

A N I M A L
Alive?
[Projoy] Alive? YES
Human?
[Graham III] Human? YES
Man?
An entertainer?
Promises to play nicely.
British?
That's m'girl :o)
[Kim] Man? YES
[Rosie] Entertainer? YES
[Software] British? YES
Does he work mainly on television?
[Raak] Television? YES
Involved in panel games?
6 consecutive YES's must be near a record.
[Rosie] Panel gamer? YES
7 yes's!
On "Have I Got News For You"?
Does he speak fluent Khosa?
[Raak] HIGNFY? At some point - YES
[CdM] Fluent Khosa [Xhosa?] That's two questions. Please re-submit your question and play nicely from here on in.

:)
Has he been chairman of HIGNFY?
very well -- Does he speak?
And, yes, Xhosa seems to be the much more common spelling, though both are in use
keeping it simple
[Rosie] Chairman of HIGNFY? NO
[CdM] Does he speak? YES
A comedian?
(CdM) But can you speak it without causing yourself grave injury? If so, you should have no problem with Machynlleth.
[Rosie] A comedian? YES - amongst other things
A chat show host?
Paul Merton?
Stephen Fry?
He does everything else, so why shouldn't he be the answer to this as well?
Richard E Grant?
Alistair McGowan?
Begins with a P?
"...all interested parties are going to play nicely and in a regular manner..." check
keeping it very simple
INJ is correct!
So I don't have to reply to all the other attempts. Even yours, Tuj :)

It gives me enormous oodles of delicious pleasure to hand the baton over to a deserving winner - ImNotJohn
That's more like it
Has the blessed Mr F never been a guest chairman of HIGNFY? Seems unlikely.
Anyway, the next one is Mineral
FeS2?
Because it begins with P
[Rosie] I can make a passably good attempt at Macheelinneth. Remember, I am half-Welsh. :-)
[CdM] Fool's gold? - NO
A manufactured object?
[Raak] Manufactured? - YES
Mineral = metal?
Well done Chalky! It must be your female wiles that can encourage such a swift result ;o)
A portable device?
(CdM) Nice one. :-) I believe you, BTW.
Rock?
[INJ - Unlikely but true. In this forum, I would never post a reply without checking the facts first -- you are all way too canny :)
Here is a Wiki quote: "In April 2003, three-time guest panellist Stephen Fry announced that he was boycotting the show following the sacking of Angus Deayton. Fry described Deayton's disposal as "greasy, miserable, British and pathetic"."]
[Software] Metallic? - NO
[Rosie] Portable? - NO some chuckles in the audience
[Chalky] - Rocky? - YES [Re SF - Actually, now you remind me, I do vaguely remember that.]
A portaloo?
hmmm
[Raak] Portable, partly metallic structure with no rock in it? - NO
A tunnel?
(Chalky) Fry was right, even if Deayton is not everybody's cup of tea.
Related to fire but not necessarily fired?
Artistic?
[Rosie] Tunnel? - NO
[Dujon] Flambé? - NO
[CdM] Artistic? - NO (some murmurs in the audience)
Found in the UK?
[Software] UK-located? - NO
Is this a specific individual object?
[Raak] Specific individual object? - YES
The Great Wall of China?
The Colluseum?
100% rock?
[Rosie] Mah Jong setup? - NO
[Software] Colosseum? - NO
[CdM] The rock, the whole rock and nothing but the rock? - YES (technically I don't know that, but don't worry)
Is it a work of sculpture?
Does it have a specific purpose?
Rock of Gibralta?
A rather large carving?
homing in
[Raak] Sculpture? - YES
[CdM] Specific purpose? - It may have had, but I don't know it
[Chalky] Herculean Pillar? - NO
[Dujon] Large Carving? - YES (Applause)
The Sphinx?
The riddle is solved
We have a winner! The Sphinx it is.

The baton is passed inscrutably to Software.

Oh, no. Not me again! Hope it doesn't take 6 weeks this time!
Let me think ...

Ah, I know!

Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.

Animal connection human?
The sign that swings outside Phil's pub?
Connected with the arts?
[Rosie] Human? - YES
[Duj] Hostelry? - NO
[IMJ} Arty-Farty? - YES
Theatrical?
Musical?
Pictorial?
Narrative?
Topical?
Human connection a single individual?
[CdM] Luvvies? - YES
[Rosie] Bandy? - NO
[Raak] Talky? - NO (well, maybe a bit)
[Duj] Newsey? - YES (in the UK at least)
[INJ] Loner? - YES
On television?
Is The Answer the title of a play?
[Projoy] Play - Not a play exactly but YESish
[Raak] TV? -YES
Does the name of the loner appear as part or all of the title?
The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin?
[CdM] see below -
[Rosie] Boing! Spot on!

Discretely hands the baton over to Rosie!

[Rosie] Good luck putting that baton back together. :-)
(CdM) That's TNT for you.

This one is MINERAL, sort of. Should be fairly easy.

Mineral = stone?
Tangible?
(Softers) - Stone? - No, not as we recognise it.
(CdM) - Tangible - *audience hilarity* I wouldn't try.
Lava?
Salt?
Raak - Not lava.
Sierra Mike - Salty? Ha-Harrr! Not loikely, me dearie.
Related to nuclear fission?
Dujon - NO, not fission.
Is it deep underground?
Extraterrestrial?
Raak - NO, nowhere on the Tube.
(Softers) - YES, most certainly. *audience applause*
Pluto?
(Raak) - NO, not little Pluto.
Related to the sun?
(INJ) - Sun-related? Just about, but indirectly.
Within the solar system?
(Raak) - NO, not within the solar system.
An extra-solar planet?
(Raak) - NO, not an extra-solar planet.
An expansion of some kind?
Without the solar system?
A star, or collection of stars?
Inter-stellar dust clouds?
(Dujon) - *cruel laughter from know-alls in audience* - Not a bit of it.
(CdM) - YES, not within city limits.
(INJ) - YES, in a way. (to one of your two questions, you naughty boy).
(Software) - Space fog? - NO.
A neutron star?
(Raak)- NO, not a neutron star, but *audience applause*
A black hole?
The event horizon?
A White Dwarf?
[Rosie] No, just 1 question, to be followed up, depending on the answer.
(INJ) NO, far too big :-).
(Software) V bad luck, but don't stand too close to it because it's RAAK's BLACK HOLE, if you see what I mean. Awesome deductive powers, sir. Have a newly-repaired baton.

That was a bit quick. Next time it'll be a particular steam engine. *evil grin*

ANIMAL.
Human?
Yes, human.
Male?
Living?
Fictional?
Male? Could be.
Living? When it exists, it is living.
Fictional? Can be.
Someone defined by their job?
Jobsworth? No.
Juvenile as opposed to adult?
Could be either.
Communicates by speaking?
Is this person known by a figurative reference?
Someone defined by their relationship to other people?
[Bigsmith] Could speak, but not relevant.
[Rosie] No figurative reference.
[INJ] To other people? No.
Someone noted for an achievement?
Does the Animal occupy a titular position?
[Rosie] Not an achievement.
[Software] Not entitled.
Everyone seems to be assuming that this is a single person.
A dwarf?
Not a dwarf.
A gathering for a particular event?
A group of people dedicated to a cause (e.g. a club)?
[Rosie] *applause!* Yes, a gathering for an event.
[Dujon] Supporting a tiddlywinks team? No.
A demonstration?
[Projoy] more applause! Not a demonstration.
A flash mob?
An audience?
[Software] Quite the opposite, for...
[CdM] A flash mob it is. A sudden crowd of naked unicyclists appear and hand you their batons.
That was unexpected. OK, MINERAL
Metallic (mainly or wholly)?
Metallic? Largely, yes.
Man-made?
Man-made? Yes.
An individual thing?
Individual thing? Not sure what you mean. The answer on the card is a single named item, but there are many of them in existence. Or, to put it another way, the first word on the card is an indefinite article.
Small, i.e. pocketable?
An electrical implement?
Pocketable? No.
Electrical? Yes.
An expression of a collection?
Expression of a collection? No. A single named item, as noted above.
High-tech?
High-tech? There are probably high-tech incarnations of this, but the answer has to be no.
A domestic item?
Domestic? Yes
From the pre-electronics age, e.g. electric kettle?
An electric iron?
Pre-electronic? Yes.
Iron? No.
A gardening tool?
Gardening? No.
Curling iron?
A coil of some kind?
A kitchen appliance?
Curling iron? No.
A coil? It contains a coil, yes.
Kitchen appliance? Yes.
A timer?
Used in food or drink preparation?
Does it begin with K?
Lurking
Electric hot plate?
A toaster?
A toaster is the correct answer! Sadly, no one asked the traditional size question. *hands Raak a baton, scarcely warm on one side and blackened and charred on the other*
Oh, did I forget it was on? Never mind, the blackened bits are the best!

ANIMAL with VEGETABLE and ABSTRACT connections.

Animal human?
Human? Yes.
currently alive?
Can be alive or dead.
I suspect people will begin this one with assumptions that will take a long time to overcome.
Schrödinger as role reversal?
Er, what? No.
A single named individual?
Not a single named individual.
Connected with the arts?
A population?
(Raak) If Schrödinger rather than his cat had been in the box it would be intrinsically impossible to know whether he was alive or dead, thus meeting one of the requirements. Just being a bit flippant.
Is this a person referred to in a common description (e.g. 'carrot top')?
[irach] Not arty.
[Dujon] Not a type of person.
A part of a person?
[INJ] *applause!* Yes! A part of a person.
Cauliflower Ear?
Shameless lurker's guess. Hope it's wrong
A gender-specific feature?
Although I actually reckon Chalky's right - it's what I'd thought of, but I was waiting my turn.
Figurative reference?
[Chalky] Your wish is granted. Not a cauliflower ear.
[INJ] Yes, gender-specific.
[Rosie] Yes, figurative.
A bushy beard?
[INJ] Not a bushy beard.
Adam's apple?
Assuming male.
[Rosie] Yes, the Adam's apple. One fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil handed over.
Wahay. Well done Rosie.
(Chalky) Thanks.

Now I've got to do bit of thinking - thinks - Ah, yes - It's ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Animal human?
Welsh Language?
Anything to do with the weather?
Artistic connections?
A wolf in sheep's clothing?
Softers - YES, human.
(Chalky) Nage.
(Raak) NO, not weather-related.
(INJ) NO artistic connections.
(irach) NO disguised ferocity.
Is the human element male?
(irach) - Could be either sex.
A stereotype of some sort?
(Dujon) Douse the barbie and I'll tell you, mate.:-) Not a stereotype.
An expression?
(Softers) - NO, not an expression.
Related to emotions?
Fictional?
(INJ) Emotions are only very occasionally associated with this, so short answer, NO.
(Raak) - Fictional? - Can be, but basically NO.
A particular type of human being?
An action?
(Software) - NO, no particular type.
(INJ) - NO, not an action.
I have an idea
(Dujon) - Forget it; it's not that.
Specific to a particular culture?
A type of behaviour?
(INJ) - Culture-specific? - *some audience murmurs* - NO, not really.
(Software) - NO, not a type of behaviour.
Begins with a P?
(Tuj) Pinitial? - Sorry, NO.

As this seems to be a little slow I'll say that the Words on the Card are the indefinite article plus one other, and that the answer is exceedingly commonplace.

A Place?
(Chalky) - NO, not a place.
More than one human involved?
Is there a visible component?
(Software) - YES, more than one human.
(INJ) - Visible? - Straightforward answer is NO, though in some circumstances there may be.
To do with the radio?
Sporting connection?
(Raak) - Nothing to do with the radio (or television).
(CdM) - Play up, Wanderers? - NO.
A queue?
(Softers) - NO, not a queue.
A human interaction?
(INJ) - Human interaction? NO, nothing so complicated.
A thought?
Is there a technological connection?
(Softers) - A thought? - NO.
(INJ) - Nothing to do with technology.
Associated with a particular part of the anatomy?
You've got dirty minds, all of you.
(CdM) - To do with any of your bits, rude or otherwise? - Mmm, can be, but not normally.
Is it in the Morniverse?
Connected with language?
(Softers) - This is almost entirely absent from the Morniverse.
(INJ) - Connected with language? - NO.
Common sense?
(CdM) - That which "is almost entirely absent from the Morniverse"? - NO.
A number of people grouped together for a common purpose?
(INJ) - Purposeful gathering? - NO.

Is it time for the gentlest of hints?

A round?
It feels as if someone just needs to ask the right question and we'll home in quickly, but I'm struggling now.
(INJ) - What's yours? - NO, not this time.
Everyone is associated with/acquires/posseses The Answer.
Personal contact?
(Software) - Face-to-face? - NO.
An ego?
(Dujon) - An ego - NO, nothing so abstruse.
Sense of humour?
(Software) - NO, not a sense of humour.
As this is so slow I'll say that the answer is prosaic, and not a characteristic.
A soul?
(Phil) - NO, nothing so nebulous.
a type of utterance?
(INJ) - NO, not any type of utterance or any other type of action.
I've checked back for any possibly misleading answers I may have given but there aren't any. Please, someone, ask the right question. Any further hint on my part would probably enable someone to get the answer almost immediately.
When you say "everyone is associated with/acquires/possesses The Answer", does "everyone" include the dead?
Is it studied?
(CdM) YES - this includes the dead but not the very, very long dead in most cultures.
(Graham III) - Studied? YES, but the answer itself is not a study.
A name?
(Phil) - YES, a name. Getting very warm. *audience stubs its fags out and returns*
A surname?
Does the answer relate to an autopsy?
Sorry, Mr Belshaw, too late because THE WINNER IS MR JONES OF LEICESTER! A surname it is. Well done, Phil; carry on.
Bit of a lurker's victory, but it came from very careful analysis. "almost entirely absent from the Morniverse" was the biggest indicator.

So, next up is ABSTRACT with animal and vegetable connections

Drunkenness? ...with all due respects...
[Rosie] How very dare you! NO, not drunkenness :-)
The tale of "Jack and the Beanstalk"?
[irach] Fee fie fo fum? NO
Animal = human?
[Rosie] Nice one. I'm now trying to think of how many surnames do show up in the Morniverse. Off the top of my head I can think of 3.5.
Anything to do with pubs?
(CdM) Surnames - ImNotJohn, PaulWay, Simons Mith possibly? Not Herr Bratsche, despite appearances.
[CdM] Human association? YES
[Rosie] To do with pubs? NO
Artistic connections?
[INJ] Arty? NO
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] P? NO
A tool?
A feature of the natural world?
Specific vegetable?
[Rosie] That was my list (PW=0.5), together with parslow.com.
Culturally specific?
[surnames] Do you want to add another 20% for JLE - or is that just getting silly?
[Dujon] A tool? NO
[Rosie] Feature of the natural world? NO
[CdM] Specific vegetable? YES
[INJ] Culturally specific? I think that's a YES
Is/are the human(s) real rather than fictional?
[CdM] Real humans? YES
Connected with food?
And then there was the contibutor whose real name was Terence Ulysses Anorak.
[INJ] Food-related? NO
Let's not forget Mr Wild Pants or Suzy Creamcheese
A phrase or saying?
(CdM) Yes, I'd forgotten the landlord.
[Rosie] Phrase or saying? Inasmuch as the words on the card are well-known, it's a phrase, but not in the sense that I think you meant. Therefore, NO.
A figurative meaning?
Single real human?
[INJ] It's quite a coincidence, when you think about it, that we have both the gentleman you mention and Terence Ulysses Jacket here in the morniverse.
[Rosie] Figurative? NO
[CdM] Single real human? NO
Is this a group of humans who are linked in some way?
[Chalky] Linked group of humans? YES
Any sporting connection?
[INJ] Sporting? YES *applause*
The Ashes?
Yes, I know I went last, but I won't be able to guess again until tomorrow morning.
Team spirit?
[Software] Team Spirit? I like it, but NO
[INJ] The Ashes? I was planning on insisting on "The Ashes Series", but I have lots to do tomorrow, so I'll say YES! Congrats!!
I pass on to ImNotJohn an urn containing the ashes of a baton...
Ah, right - better get thinking.
Here we go then: This one is ANIMAL with Abstract connections
Human?
[CdM] Human? - NO
Figurative reference to some beast?
[Rosie] Figurative reference to some beast? - NO
Has the animal been processed?
[Phil} Spam, spam, spam? - NO
Is the animal used as a symbol?
Is tha animal a mammal?
[Raak] Symbolic? - YESish - but that may be misleading
[Rosie] - mammal? - NO
A black swan?
A bird?
A pet?
Sorry - busy weekend
[CdM] Black Swan? - NO
[Rosie] Bird? - YES
[Dujon] A pet? - NO
Is the answer on the card a particular species?
[CdM] A particular species? - YESish - a particular species is named on the card
Is the bird an indicator of something significant?
I think you're closing in on this one
[Rosie] An indicator of something significant? - Not quite the wording I would have used, but YES is the best answer.
A part of a bird?
(I'm thinking of something like 'a white feather' except of course with some species mentioned.)
The miner's canary?
[CdM] drumstick? - NO
[Rosie] early warning system? - NO
Eagle eyed?
Is the answer the title of a "work"
Is it a metaphor?
The bald eagle?
[Software] aquiloptic? - NO
[Phil] A work? - NO
[Glll] Metaphor? - NO (but some audience reaction)
[Dujon] Haliaeetus leucocephalus? - NO
Hens' teeth?
We have a problem
[Software] Hens Teeth? - NO
I'm about to go on holiday and don't know what access I'll have. If I can't get regular connection I'll let someone know.
The last dodo?
(BTW, I can promise you that INJ will have internet connection.)
He's right, you know - and he's right - THE LAST DODO it is.
A moribund baton is passed across.
ANIMAL
Human?
Human? No.
A single animal?
Single animal? Yes
Currently alive?
Currently alive? No.
The second-last dodo?
Is the amimal fictional?
[ImNotJohn] Can you have a second-last dodo? Surely the first-last is the-last. ;-)
My cat, 1990-2004?
Was this animal significant in human affairs?
Seriously this time.
Well, I won't insist on the beginning-with-P wording on the card, so The Penultimate Dodo it is.
*send baton back stamped "Return to Sender"*
I was only joking
I didn't mean that seriously - I lose connection after tomorrow. So here's an easy one. Mineral
Water in some form?
(INJ) - Not Worthing, shurely?
A geological/geographic feature?
A metal?
Naturally occurring?
The Earth?
[Rosie] - Water - NO
[CdM] Natural feature? NO
[Software] Metal? - The answer is metallic, but not a metal
[Glll] Natural - NO
[Raak] Gaia? - NO
The Eiffel Tower?
Phew! That was close.
Tout à fait correcte! La Tour Eiffel est la réponse juste.
A baton in the form of a gallic symbol is passed on
Zut alors! Ze next is ABSTRACT.
Essemtially to do with humans?
[Rosie] Yes, to do with humans.
The Origin of Species?
[Dujon] Ook? No.
Scientific?
A human concept?
Connected with the arts?
[CdM] Not scientific.
[Software] A human concept.
[INJ] Not artistic.
Begins with P?
A human characteristic?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Not a human characteristic.
A phrase or saying?
[Software] Not a phrase or saying.
Single word?
[Tuj] A single word, plus the indefinite article.
A group of people?
[Rosie] Not a group of people.
A thought?
To do with grouping or classification?
[Software] Not a thought.
[Rosie] Nothing to do with grouping or classification.
A 'syndrome'?
[Chalky] Not a syndrome.
Time for a hint?
technology-dependent?
A hint?
[INJ] Not technology-dependent.
[Rosie] Not a hint.
Commonplace?
[CdM] Yes, quite commonplace.
Is there some physical item associated with this?
[Rosie] No particular physical item.
Does this have seasonal relevance?
[THF] Why, yes it does!
The Silly Season?
[Rosie] Not the Silly Season.
Are we currently in the season for this?
[Rosie] We are in precisely the season for this!
hay fever?
A holiday?
[INJ] Not hay fever.
[Software] Yes! A holiday! Have this bucket and spade.
Oh, dear. Not again ...
Raak, thanks - mind my sand castle on the way out, please.

Well, let me think. Ah, I have it! Vegetable and Mineral with Abstract connections.

vegetable = wood?
Timber! - YES.
Mineral = metal?
A manufactured object?
A tool?
[Raak] Metalic? YES
[Rosie] Man made? YES
[IMJ] A Tool? NO (ish)
A Mosquito?
One specific article?
[Duj] Mossie? NO ( er .. where is the ANIMAL in the definition - have you been bitten by one?
[INJ] One item? NO. More than 1.
Found in the house?
[Software] I assumed Dujon was referring to a De Havilland Mosquito.
A drum kit?
[INJ] Domestic? YES (I was not in WWII aeroplane mode at the time of the answer, strangely)
[Rosie] Percussion? NO

I'm going off to chez nous for a short break, so I may not login every day over the next 10 days.

A set of speakers?
Seeing that our highly esteemed Software has buzzed off for a few days I'd like to thank INJ for his clarification of my previous.
not gone yet ;o)
[Duj] Stereo? NO
Smaller than a toaster?
[Rosie] (you taking the piss?) Kitchen appliance sized? - YES & NO
A fixture or fixtures?
Bon soir
[Rosie] Immoblier? NON
A container of some sort?
Associated with domestic drudgery?
[INJ] Bag, man? - NO
[Rosie] Nettoyage? - NON
Anything to do with entertainment?
Is the answer a set (ensemble/collection - take your pick) of objects?
[Rosie] Fun? YES
[INJ] Multi? YES
A toy?
[Rosie] Distraction? - YES
Meccano?
[Rosie] Liverpudlian toys? - NO
Aimed primarily at babies/toddlers/under 5s?
Lego?
Legere, lexi, lectum.
Known by a brand name?
[Rosie] You must have had the original prototype lego made out of wood and metal.
[INJ] Toddlers? - NO (well not entirely as a kind of hint)
[Rosie] Daneplay? - NO
[INJ] Designer? NO
A form of puzzle?
(INJ) Oh, I did. Mahogany with brass inlay. They made things properly in those days.
A board game?
[Rosie] Enigma? - NO
[INJ] Parlour fun? - NO
An indoors activity?
[Rosie] On the carpet? - NO
Any musical connections?
[INJ] Melodic - NO
A game in the garden?
Is it a competitive activity?
Are there winners & losers.
BTW can I just confirm. This is found in the house, but it is not an indoors activity, is that correct?
[Rosie] External domestic fun? - YES (but not exclusively)
[INJ] Competitive? - NO (well, not normally and not normally inside)
Clarification and hint
The answer is not an activity but contains items that are used therewith.
Does the activity involve throwing?
Slightly diverted from the true path by your answer to my question:
Q. Found in the house?
A. Domestic? - YES
Can you please clarify.
[IN
[INJ] Chuck? - NO
In answer to your other query, the subject will be found in the house but not necessarily used there.
INJ ( not a guess!)
I think Rosie and I need some lurker help here.
We're looking for a man-made toy made of wood and metal, with some (as yet unexplored) abstract connection. It consists of a number of parts and is normally used outside although it may be found inside (when it's put away?). It is both larger and smaller than a toaster - don't know if that's the part vs whole thing or just that it comes in different sizes. It is not normally a competitive game and does not involve throwing. It is not known by a brand name. It is not a board game or meccano or lego or a puzzle or a container or a fixture or fitting or a domestic appliance or a tool (slightly hesitant NO to that one), nor does it have musical connections.
There you are - should be easy now.
Any thing significant I missed?
Does the abstract involve a show/display/exhibition?
Does the activity normally involve more than one person?
Ah, yes, one omission. It is not primarily aimed at young children (the under 5-s say). The response was: 'NO (well not entirely as a kind of hint)'.
[Duj] Beauty parade? - YES well, sometimes
[INJ] Solo? - the correct answer could be YES and/or NO
remember we are looking for mineral and vegetable with only abstract connections
Does it have a sporting connection?
Are there more than 2 parts/elements to this?
[G III] Sporty? - NO
[INJ] More than a pair? - NO
Garden furniture?
Does it require inflation?
Are there are other elements involved apart from wood and metal?
[Rosie] On the patio? - NO
[G III] Puff? - NO
[INJ] Construction> - YES (sometimes)
Has wheels?
[irach] Mobility? - NO
stilts?
Pogo stick?
[INJ] High handed? - NO
[irach] Tigger? - NO. (remember earlier it was decided that the answer consisted of more than one part.)
Is it associated with a specific culture?
- to be precise - 2 parts.
[INJ] Culture link? - NO. (yes 2)
Primarily seasonal use?
[irach] Seasonal? - YES!
Used in winter?
[irach] Winter? - NO.
Summer?
Owt to do wi' bonfires and parkin?
[G III] Summer - YES
[Duj] Arcane winter celebrations? - NO
Does it contain water?
[Pro] Wet? - YES
Does it float?
[Pro] Floater? - YES and maybe NO (we have established 2 parts)
Bucket and Spade? (the old kind)
Hurrah!!
A Bucket and Spade it is!

Gladly hands over the stick of rock to Projoy!

Gosh, that's very retro. Makes me think of those daft wooden tubs of ice-cream you can get... *looks around lounge for inspiration* Ah. OK. Let's try this:

MOSTLY MINERAL (+ some of the other two + abstract connections)
An ornamental geological specimen?
[Raak] OGS? NO, not really.
A room furnishing?
[irach] Room furnishing? NO
Oh, I just realised what occasioned those last two questions. The lounge angle is very unlikely to help.
Would this relate to archaeology?
A manufactured object?
[Dujon] Old Fossils? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? YEEEES, for some values of "manufactured", anyway. Definitely more than not.
A sculpture?
Made of stone?
Metalic?
INJ - Statuesque? NO
Raak - Stone? YES, mostly
Software - Metallic? Contains metal.
The toaster question
[INJ] Much bigger than said browning apparatus.
Is the metal part a plaque?
[Raak] The metal part?
Concrete?
Does any part of this thing bear an inscription?
A building?
[Software] Probably some concrete involved
[Raak] Inscribed? YES
[INJ] Constructive? YES
In London?
Open to the public?
A memorial?
[Rosie] London? YES
[INJ] Open to the public? YES AND NO
[Softers] Memorial? NO
Built before 1900?
[INJ] Pre-Labour Party? NO
*murmurs of surprise from the audience*
Is it in Trafalgar Square?
[Raak] Trafalgar? NO
Does it have a primarily commercial purpose?
[INJ] Moneyspinning? NO
Is it a tourist attraction?
The Royal Festival Hall?
[Raak] Tourism? There are defensible yes and no answers, I think. If pressed, I would say NOT REALLY.
[INJ] Herbert Morrison Remnant? NO
Do people work inside this building?
[Raak] Workplace? YES.
Mornington Crescent Tube station?
Transport House?
(Pj) Not the RFH, then?
[irach] The Hallowed Place? NO
[Rosie] John Smith House? NO
Oops. Misnomer there. It's not either of the Transport House
A place of entertainment?
[Rosie] entertainment? *audience laughter* NO
A location with political connections?
[irach] Poltical? YES, broadly.
Middlesex Guildhall?
Toynbee Hall?
Polly put the kettle on.
[Raak] Yes, you are correct. It is the Middlesex Guildhall, now the home of the UK Supreme Court, which starts work properly on Monday. I would have accepted "The Supreme Court" too, of course.
*hands gavel to Raak*
The next is mostly ANIMAL and VEGETABLE.
The members of the Supreme Court?
Dawlish Man U Supporters Club?
Food?
A herbivore of some kind?
[P] No :-)
[R] Devonian Macunian ex-pats? No.
[R] Not food.
[JJ] Yes, a herbovore is involved, nay, committed.
Damned beavers?
A horse and cart?
[D] No beavers.
[R] Not a horse and cart.
A mad cow?
A burger?
Is it a predator?
Is this one object?
[JJ] Not a mad cow.
[S] Not a burger.
[GIII] Not a predator.
[R] The answer is in the singular, but it's not a specific individual. (E.g. "A window-cleaner", rather than "The Eiffel Tower".)
Clothing?
[INJ] Not clothing.
This thing has Abstract connections as well.
Is the animal part a by-product?
[P] There are no byproducts, only products other than the one you were trying to make.
A Damien Hirst?
[JJ] Sharks in formaldehyde? No.
Is it a construction/building?
Trying to clear the fog.
Is it larger than a toaster?
[S] Not a construction or building.
[P] Yes! Bigger than a toaster.
But is it art?
[GIII] *applause* Yes! It is (associated with) art!
Used in the display of a work of art?
Some kind of pigment?
[R] Not an easel, picture rail, plinth, gallery, web site, or object of like nature.
[JJ] Not a pigment.
I am taking "art" in the general sense, not just pictures.
Larger than a phonebox?
[P] Not larger than a phonebox.
Animal part human?
[S] Not human. (Herbivore, remember.)
Is the animal part, leather?
[INJ] *applause* The audience were getting desperate for something to applaud. The animal part is leather.
An armchair?
Does its shape resemble a lamina (i.e., does it have immaterial depth)
A saddle (the vegetable part being wood)
[S] Not an armchair, however artistically made.
[GIII] Not laminate.
[i] (a) Not a saddle. (b) Yes! The vegetable part is wood.
Specific to a certain culture?
A gaucho's bolas?
Elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[CdM] Yes, specific to a certain culture.
[i] Not a bolas.
[INJ] Not an EFUS.
A drum of some kind?
Does it have any stuffing?
[CdM] *APPLAUSE* It is a drum of some kind.
[GIII] No stuffing.
I'll be away and offline for the weekend from mid-afternoon on Friday, so you'd better get it solved by then.
A Lambeg Drum?
A tabla?
[R] Not a Lambeg.
[GIII] Not a tabla.
A bodhran?
Asian?
[INJ] Not a bodhran.
[GIII] Yes, Asian.
dhol?
[P] Not a dhol.
Would this be more likely to be found in the Asian sub-continent than in Asia proper?
A mridangam?
[D] I'm not sure what distinction you're drawing there. Asia.
[i] Not a mridangam.
Primarily Chinese?
[INJ] Not Chinese.
A Taiko drum?
[GIII] *the audience burst into a 3-hour Miyake improvisation* You have hit the drum on the head! One bachi passed to the winner.
Huzzah!
Right, I'll try to be as responsive as I can, but may only be able to answer on a daily basis some of the time. We'll keep it reasonably easy (I hope).

ABSTRACT
Human construct?
A manifestation of the physical world?
[CdM] Made up by humans? YES
[Rosie] Not 100% sure I get your meaning, but I'm fairly confident the answer is NO.
Related to a specific culture?
linguistic connections?
[Software] Cultural? NO
[INJ] Except insofar that the answer is formed of word(s), NO.
A philosophy?
(G III) (First question) - I meant something like heat, cold, humidity etc.
[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification. Still NO then.

[Rosie] A philosophy? NO
Begins with a P?
Related to emotions?
[Tuj] P'ed? NO
[INJ] Audience oohs and whispers. Emotional? NO, not directly.
An intellectual process?
[Rosie] A process? NO
To do with music?
Associated with a specific time period or place?
[Software] Laaa! NO
[INJ] In general, NO, but to some people, probably YES.
artistic connections?
To do with belief?
[INJ] But is it art? NO
[Software] A believer? Good question. NO
Some form of memory?
A single word answer?
Nostalgia?
[Rosie] A memory? NO
[Tuj] Just one word? YES! *some applause and general relief*
[Dujon] Vera Lynn? NO.
An action?
Connected to this game?
[INJ] Action? NO
[Tuj] Connected thinking? NOT DIRECTLY
may be time for a clue soon.
Intelligence, in some form?
Dreaming?
[Rosie] Intelligentsia? NO, but not unrelated
[Software] Nocturnal activity? *healthy applause*: NO
Some form of wish?
[Rosie] Wishful thinking? NO
An idea?
Daydream?
[Tuj] Idea? YES, in a way
[Software] Daydream? NO, wrong direction I'm afraid.
Insomnia
Reality?
Nightmare?
[INJ] Wakefulness? NO
[Rosie] Reality? NO
[Software] Mare? NO
some lateral thinking required.
Anything to do with sex?
The mind?
[Rosie] Something to do with sex? YES make of that what you will
[Tuj] The mind? NO, (and yes but that's less helpful).
A result of sexual activity?
I'm going to sleep.
Necessarily to do with reproduction?
A fantasy?
Fictional?
Hmm, along rather the wrong lines at the moment.

[Rosie] Afterglow? NO
[Projoy] Necessary? DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW. For most people, NO
[Software] Fantastical? NO
[Tuj] A fiction? DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW ;-)
A sexual activity?
[Projoy] Sexual activity? NO
To do with sex in the sense of "gender"?
[Projoy] Gender specific

Clue (but not really). Think about dreams (healthy applause but not the right answer) and being to do with sex.
An imaginary thing?
related to a man's world?
[Projoy] Imaginary? I think we can safely say YES
[Dujon] Manly? Not specifically.
An ideal?
[Software] Ideal? NO
A fantasy?
[Rosie] I refer you to an earlier answer. NO.

Think about dreams. Someone else did...
To do with being female?
Actually, scrub that. Is it connected with the subconscious?
[Projoy] Subconscious? *audience applause* YES!
The id?
The superego?
[CdM] Let's not just rush in with a random guess.
Subliminal?
[Software] Sublime? NO
[Projoy] Superlative self? NO
[CdM] Id? *Audience gasps with the audacious guess, then rapturous applause* YES! The word on the card was Id. One baton winging its way over to CdM...
A bit of a lurker's victory, I'm afraid. So I'll atone with a nice easy VEGETABLE.
Is this a LARGE vegetable? ;)
Large? It is neither large nor otherwise.
Edible?
Grass?
Edible? Yes.
Grass No.
*coff* Begins with a P?
Got a feeling it will =)
Is it a vegetable?
Begins with a P? Absolutely not.
A vegetable? No.
A collective noun, e.g. blossom?
Collective noun? No.
Is it man-made?
[CdM] Burst my bubble, eh?
Man-made? I'm not sure one would usually use that term, but the answer is Yes in the sense that it is processed.
Potato crisps/chips?
Chrisps? No.
Canned?
Tofu?
Canned? Can be, but not usually.
Tofu? No.
Is this comprised of a type of tuber?
Can it be fed to animals?
Just need to get that out of my head.
Tuberous? No.
Fed to animals? Um, I don't see any reason why it couldn't be, although perhaps there is something I don't know about animal digestion that would preclude it. I don't think it is fed to animals on any kind of established or regular basis. On the other hand, googling around to investigate that question, I discovered that -- to my surprise -- I should have labeled this "VEGETABLE AND SOMETIMES ANIMAL".
Is it an ingredient in something that is consumed by humans?
Does it consist of multiple small elements?
e.g. Muesli
Some form of oil?
Ingredient? Sometimes, yes.
Mueslish? No.
Oil? No.
Is it something extracted from a plant (or sometimes animal)?
Extracted from a plant? Yes. *applause* (Extracted from an animal? No.)
As a small clue, the "sometimes animal" is not an avenue that you will find worth pursuing. I did not know of the animal connection and would be amazed if anyone here did.
Is it a liquid?
Liquid? Yes.
Fruit smoothie?
Smoothie? No.
Is it a brand name?
Does it have therapeutic qualities?
A syrup (e.g. corn or maple?)
An essential oil (i.e. perfume)?
Does it come in a variety of flavours?
Cutting to the chase
The words on the card are Maple Syrup, and so I will pass a fine hand-carved maplewood baton to irach. Apparently, manufacturers sometimes use a tiny amount of lard (or other animal or vegetable fat) to reduce foaming while boiling the maple sap. So your maple syrup may in fact contain about 0.003% lard. Vegetarians take note.
Lard-dee-dah!!
This one is Mostly MINERAL with possibly abstract connections
Mostly metal?
Does one wear it?
Man made?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Not metal
[Raak] Not worn.
[Software] Not man-made
[Tuj] No "P" involved.
Mostly stone?
[CdM] Not mostly stone.
Does it currently exist?
A terrestial object or phenomenon?
[Tuj] Does currently exist.
[Dujon] Yes , a terrestrial object; many may also describe it as phenomenal.
Mostly harmless?
[CdM] Hmmmm... yes, for the vast majority of people it is, and has been harmless.
Is it unique?
Bigger than Wales?
Mostly water?
[Tuj] Unique? Certainly.
[Raak]Not bigger than Wales
[CdM] Mostly water? Yes!!!
Is it a lake?
The Ganges?
[Raak] Not a lake.
[Dujon] Not the Ganges.
Mostly freshwater?
Is the water liquid?
[CdM] Freshwater.
[Raak] Almost always liquid. In rare instances has been known not to be.
In a single country?
Niagara Falls?
[Tuj] Two nations.
[CdM] Yes.... Niagara Falls it is... the falls froze over completely in 1911...An icicle baton is handed off to you...
Me again? OK, a nice easy ANIMAL this time.
Human?
Human? No.
Dead?
Dead? Um. Well, I think the correct answer is that it was never really alive. Which might make you wonder if it is actually animal at all -- and I admit that I have had to think hard about that. My conclusion is that it *is* animal, though I could see someone making the case that it is vegetable. And still never really living. Or not exactly. Confused? So am I, despite the fact that it really is a simple AVMA topic.
Smaller than a pinhead?
Begins with a P?
Edible?
Fictional?
A Snark, as in the Lewis Carroll poem (Boojum or not)?
Insufficient room for angels? It is of no specific size, but it is not smaller than a pinhead?
Begins with P? No.
Edible? Yes. *some audience chuckling at the juxtaposition of the last two questions*
Fictional? No.
Snarky? No.
Is it unique?
A mineral, despite the classification?
Of marine origin?
Limestone?
Unique? No. (actually, not really a relevant question)
Mineral? No.
Marinal? No.
Limestone? No.
A brain?
A fossil?
Brain? No. (I don't think there would be any ambiguity there.)
Fossil? No. (Not mineral.)
Yeast?
Yeast? No.
Insect like?
liquid?
Insect-like? No (but some *applause*)
Liquid? Usually, yes.
Royal Jelly?
Sorry to ask 2 in a row, but it's a long time between them.
An oil?
Royal jelly? No, but *loud applause*.
Oil? No.
Honey?
Tree sap?
Honey is correct. Is honey more like milk (surely animal), or regurgitated carrots (probably stlll vegetable)? I think the answer is milk, but I'm not sure. *hands somewhat sticky baton to Raak*
The next is MINERAL and ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections.
Water off a duck's back?
[i] Not water off (or on) a duck's back.
Is the mineral component metal?
Rats! I was hesitating between Honey & Royal Jelly and decided that I would have put honey as more vegetable-ish.
Human animal?
{S} Not human.
Exceeding dimensional equivalence with a domestic bread grilling machine?
And my metal question?
[INJ] Oops, yes, mostly metal. Bigger than a toaster.
Animal leather?
Is it unique?
Any artistic connections?
[R] Not leather.
[T] Not unique.
[INJ] Yes, artistic, broadly understood.
Movable?
[S] Erm....yes, movable.
Associated with film or television?
Found in the home?
[INJ] applause! Associated with film or television.
[R] laughter! Not found in the home.
Begins with a P?
[T] Does not begin with a P. Bonus answer: there is not a single P on the card.
[Raak] Have you checked on the back as well?
[CdM] It's a Möbius card.
Associated with the *creation* of film or TV content?
[Raak] Ah, ok. Have you checked the edge?
A dalek?
[INJ] Not a dalek.
Pinewood studios
[S] Not a film director's tree hut.
[CdM] Associated with the creation of film or TV content? Like, equipment, screenplays, production crew, etc? No.
TV?
(Rather than film)
[INJ] Yes, TV rather than film.
Dr. Who's Tardis phone booth?
[i] Bigger inside than out? No.
A location or set?
[R] Not a location or set.
Associated with a specific TV programme?
Associated with Star Trek?
[Tuj] Yes, associated with a specific TV programme.
[P] Boldly going? No.
Associated with a children's TV programme?
[K] Not children's TV.
British TV?
[CdM] Not children's TV.
[CdM] Ahem. Yes, British TV.
Red Dwarf?
[S] Not Red Dwarf.
TV drama?
[K] Not TV drama.
Is the animal a character in the TV show (such as Skippy the Wonder Horse)?
[CdM] Not a character.
Comedy?
[S] Yes, comedy.
Monty Python?
[S] *applause* It is Monty Python!
That is, it is from Monty Python. Still a way to go.
The University of Wallamaloo?
Bibo ergo sum.
A Norwegian Blue in a cage?
[R] Not UW.
[CdM] Not pining for the fjords.
Dead bird and cage in the " Dead Parrot" skit?
[i] CdM just asked that.
Does it feature in one of their films?
[GIII] It doesn't feature in any of their feature films, but I couldn't swear that it's not in things like The Secret Policeman's Ball.
Is the animal actually a single animal?
[INJ] some applause Not a single animal.
All things dull and ugly?
[CdM] Not all things dull and ugly.
A bucketful of piranha?
Only a bit larger than a toaster.
[R] *a scattering of applause* Not a bucketful of piranhas.
The zinc stoat?
[S] Not the zinc stoat.
Spiny Norman?
Never mind; that's a single animal.
the name of a species?
[CdM] Not a Spiny Norman.
[P] (Consults Wikipedia.) Can be the name of a species.
From Series 1?
[P] (Consults Wikipedia.) (Consults Google.) (Consults Wikipedia.) (Consults Wikipedia again. Did you know that Line 6 of the Beijing Subway (北京地铁６号线) is currently under construction and is scheduled to be opened in 2012? And that the Öjendorfer See has an area of 460,000 m²?) Yes, Series 1.
A blind bat
(A nod's as good as a wink, know what I mean, say no more)
A hovercraft full of eels?
[P] Not a blind bat.
[INJ] *stock footage of women applauding* It is a hovercraft full of eels! I'm afraid we're all out of batons at the moment, will spam do?
My nipples explode with delight.
Well if that hadn't been correct I think I would have given up.

So, here we go again with a simple ANIMAL

Human?
[SW] Human - YES (there's a good start)
Alive?
Couldn't last
[Rosie] Alive? - NO
Fictional?
[PJ] Made-up name? - NO
Mainly known for artistic connections?
Rattling along nicely
[Raak] Arty-farty? - YES
Died in C20th?
Performer (broadly defined) rather than creator?
(intending no slight to the creative aspects of performance...)
Begins with P?
Pablo Picasso?
Well, come on, Tuj has to be correct once in a while :)
William Morris?
[PJ] died in C20? - NO
[CdM] Performer? - NO (* a few chuckles in the audience*)
[Tuj] P starter? - NO
[Dujon] Picasso? - I'm not going to tell you - (anyway, who's going to set an answer beginning with P now?)
[Rosie] A minor Morris? - NO
Politician?
[Software] Politician? - NO
Died in the C18th or earlier?
[PJ] Ancient? - NO
Died in C21?
By a process of elimination.........
[PJ] Just gone? - NO
OK I give in - died in the 19th century.
Born in the C19?
Deduction r us.
Female?
[Pj] Born in C19? - YES
[CdM] Weaker sex? - NO *ducks missiles from audience*
A painter?
Was English his mother tongue?
Novelist?
British, dammit?
I always think not logging on over the weekend is a good sign
[Rosie] - Painter? - NO
[CdM] Anglophone? - YES
[Pj] Novelist? - NO
[Software] British? - YES
A poet?
[Raak] Poet? - YES *applause*
Tennyson?
I know lurking on AVMA is bad form. I apologise.
It's OK if your guess is wrong
[nights] Tennyson? - NO
Ralph Waldo Emerson?
Let the guessfest commence
[Projoy] RWE? - NO (he's not very British)
Edward Lear?
Are his works typically found on school curricula?
Just trying to get some sense of how major/minor a poet he is. If the question is too vague or difficult to verify, feel free to give me some other kind of answer to the question!)
[Projoy] Pleasant to know? - NO
[CdM] Major/Minor? - I would expect to find him on some school curricula. I expect the vast majority of morniverse contributors to have heard of him without googling.
Robert Browning?
[Projoy] Gravy poet? - NO ([CdM] a poet of a similar public stature to Browning IMO, if that helps)
Kipling?
[Software] An exceedingly good poet? - NO (I haven't checked, but I know he made it well into the C20th)
Gerard Manley Hopkins?
[Projoy] That might or might not be right, but knowing INJ as I do, I can tell you that it is an inspired guess
Associated with a particular region of the world?
[Projoy] GMH? - YES!!! HOPKINS it is.

One instressed baton handed on.

[Projoy] Told you so.
The Projoypartner has recently been very into Inversnaid...

ABSTRACT
Photography?
[Rosie] flash flash grin grin? - NO
Phrase or saying?
Related to the arts?
[Sw] phrase/saying? NOT REALLY (I suppose it is a phrase, strictly speaking)
[INJ] Arts-related? NO.
Something to do with Scotland?
culturally specific?
Seasonal?
[GIII] Scottish? OCH, NO.
[INJ] Culturally specific? YES
[Software] Seasonal? YES *applause*
Christmas-related?
[You and Your Kin(rah)] X-mas the spot? YES! *more applause*
A Christmas Carol?
Santa-related?
[Softers] Christmas Carol? NO
[INJ] Fat trespasser? NO
Does the word "Christmas" appear on the card?
[CdM] Christmas/Card? NO
Seasons greetings?
[SW] Seasons Greetings? NO
Also related to legs?
[Duj] Legs? Um, NO.
Musical connection?
[CdM] Musicky? NO
A state of mind or body?
[Rosie] State? NO
Is the specific culture that of the English-speaking Christian peoples?
Religiousness?
[INJ] Specific to Anglophone Xtians? YES, pretty much.
[Chalky] Religiosity? NO (I'm assuming that was a guess).
Primarily concerned with the religious rather than secular aspects of Christmas?
The Nativity?
[CdM] Spirit over Secularity? NO
[Chalky] The Nativity? NO.
Primarily commercial in nature?
[Chalky] Good to see you back contributing.
[INJ] Commercial? NO (although there is an historical link with commerce)
Food-related?
[Phil yer phace] Phood? NO.
Merry Christmas?
[GL] "Merry Christmas" - NO, not the phrase itself but The Answer could form part of the phrase's referent.
*sounds of discontented pedantic muttering in audience*
The season to be jolly?
Had that in my head for a while, need to get rid of it.
[Kinrah] TSTBJ? NO, but see referent comment above.
Connected to some specific Christmas tradition?
Does it describe a period of time?
[CdM] Specific Tradition? YES
[INJ] Period of time? YES *applause
New Year's Day?
Christmas Day?
Boxing Day
To complete the set
INJ has it! Whereas the other two are Xtian (in general) dates, Boxing Day is more a Commonwealth affair. Over to INJ. *hands box-shaped baton to INJ*
Pausing only to take the ribbon and bow off the baton
OK then, this one is Animal or Vegetable (with Abstract connections)
A musical instrument?
[Raak] Instrumental? - NO
Is it edible?
[Tuj] Food, glorious food? - NO
Manufactured?
As you state Animal OR Vegetable - is this an either/or - or can it be both?
[and thanks INJ for welcome back. I am healing - slowly but shurely :)]
[Projoy] Manufactured - YES
[Chalky] Animal/Vegetable? - Either/Or is probably the most helpful, but in both cases that would be predominantly, rather than entirely.
Is it found indoors?
If animal, then a specific part of an animal?
[Chalky] Indoors? - YES
[Rosie] Specific part of an animal? - YES (at least for the predominant part)
Thinking about my answer to Chalky, the 'predominantly' bit, although true, is probably not helpful. From now on I will ignore the minor elements in my answers unless specifically asked.
Sticky in texture?
Is the vegetable wood?
(I don't think that's the same question as Software just asked...)
Begins with P?
[Chalky] A hearty welcome back from over here too =)
Is the animal bone?
[Software] Like a stick? - NO
[CdM] Like a big stick? - NO
[Tuj] P....? - NO
[Rosie] Bonie? - NO
Does its name describe its function?
Leather?
Like Dan and Dunx, it is well known that Rosie and Raak are the same person, an 80 year old hedgehog-trapper living in the New Forest.
Some sort of covering?
Perfume?
[Projoy] Does what it says on the tin? - NO
[Raak] Leather? - YES - that is the animal component - at least, that's easily a better answer than No
[GLog] A covering? - NO
[Rosie] Smellie? - NO
A lucky rabbits foot?
[Software] Cruelty to lapines? - NO
Functional?
Larger than a toaster?
Is the vegetable a fabric?
[CdM] Functional? - NO * A few 'tut's from a small minority of the audience*
[Chalky] That toaster question - Similar in total volume, depending on the toaster, but differently shaped.
[Projoy] A fabric? - NO (though we might get into a discussion of definitions)
Is it written on?
[Projoy] Written on? - YES *Applause*
Is it a scroll?
Is The Answer the name of a type of document?
[Raak] Scroll? - NO
[Projoy] A type of document - NO - but *applause*
Ornamental?
[Chalky] Ooh, innit pretty? - NO - at least not primarily (or secondarily, or tertially, come to that)
Not Functional/Ornamental - how about Educational?
[Chalky] Educational? - NO (to most values of 'Educational') - some would disagree quite strongly
A plaster cast?
A book?
Is there a specific kind of writing to be found thereon?
[Software] Plaster Cast? - NO
[Chalky] Book? - YES
[Projoy] specific kind of writing? - NO
To summarise, it's a book primarily made of leather that isn't funtional, ornamental or educational?
The Bible?
A specific title.
I hope Rosie has it.
An autograph book?
Getting close
[GLogin] Remember: either Animal or Vegetable
[Rosie] The Bible? - YES, *Applause* But you have not yet got the words on the card
[Projoy] A specific Title? - YES
[Raak] Sign here please? - NO
The Authorised King James Version?
A Gutenberg Bible?
A Gideon's Bible?
We have a winner.
Projoy has it - A/The Gutenberg Bible it is. There were about 180 Gutenberg bibles, about 40 printed on vellum and the rest on paper, giving the either/or.

A leather-bound baton passed on to Projoy

Splendid. OK. Here's another. ABSTRACT/ANIMAL
Is the animal element human?
[Kinrah] Animal human? Strictly speaking, NO. *audience laughter and cries of "bad luck!"*
Is it a mythical animal?
Fictional?
[GL] Mythical? NO
[CdM] Fictional? YES
Best known from Film or TV?
[INJ] Best known from film or TV? NOT SURE. I expect that some would say yes, others no, but no stats available.
(PS. For myself and probably for yourself, the answer would be NO, I suspect.)
The Christmas elf?
[Software] Winterval wellbeing? NO
A character in literature later adapted for the screen?
[INJ] Book > Screen? *much animated whispering in audience* Strictly, NO. *continued animated whispering in audience*
Character in a comedy?
[Rosie] Comedy? YES *applause*
Associated with a particular actor?
[CdM] Particular Actor? Mm. NOT SURE. To me the answer is YES, but it wouldn't be to everyone.
Bottom?
Begins with P?
[Duj] I beg your par... oh, you mean the series Bottom. NO.
[Tuj] P-led? NO
An animated character? [or have we established this and I'm being a bit thick]
Archie Andrews?
[Chalky] Animated? NO
[Rosie] The uneducated one? NO.
From children's literature?
Were they adapted for the stage before TV or film?
[CdM] Kidlit? NO
[GL] A previous stage? NO
Addendum
[INJ] On further thought, I feel like I should change my answer to your adaptation question. As you phrased the question: "A character in literature later adapted for the screen?" the truthful answer is YES, but this isn't a wholly typical case, so check your assumptions.
From works of Shakespeare?
[Chalks] Bardly? *audience laughter* NO.
Is this more than one character?
Is it related to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
[Chalky] Multiple? NO
[GL] TLOEG? NO.
Adapted from comics/graphical novels?
Supernatural?
Male?
[INJ] Graphic? NO
[Softers] Supernatural? NO, at least not in the conventional sense.
[Chalky] Male? YES].
In a radio programme?
[INJ] Radio? YES *tumultuous applause*
Won't have 2 guesses in a row, but I think we're close
Well - your addendum helped
Slartibartfast?
From HHGTTG?
Marvin?
[GL] He said it wasn't important? NO
[INJ] H2G2? YES *applause*
[Software] Brain the size...? NO
Ford Prefect?
Zaphod Beeblebrox?
Freow.
[Kinrah] You have hit the subject on one of its two heads! It was ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX, indeed. As you can see, my confusion over the adaptation question arose because of course, while the screen versions followed the book version chronologically, they didn't do so adaptationally, as it were. Plus of course, the character didn't originate in the books.

Over to you, Kinrah. *Hands over a perspex baton shaped like a cricket stump, just before there is the sound of a million billion people saying "Wop"*
I was trying to weigh up whether to go for Zaphod or the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (which has the potential to be part animal), even though I have just realised [Tuj] ruled that out with his 'P' question. Whee. Now, let's see if I can get the formatting right with
ABSTRACT/ANIMAL connections
This shouldn't be too difficult.
Begins with a P?
Glad to see my usual question served a small purpose, Kinrah!
Is it a fictional person?
Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer - the song?
*correction* RudolPH The Red NoseD Reindeer - the song?
[Tuj] P-aff? *audience laugh... then applause* YES
[GL] Imaginary? NO
[Chalky] Lyric of an oddly coloured creature? NO
Seasonal connections?
A work of art?
[INJ] Seasonally speaking? NO
[Projoy] Arty-farty? NO
Are the animal connections human?
Connected with science?
[Tuj] Humanimal? YES
[Projoy] Psy-ense? After giving it some careful thought, SOMETIMES (but the connection there really isn't worth following)
Culturally specific?
Is it related to psychology?
Involves an action or actions?
To do with religion?
[INJ] Cultural terms? NO
[GL] Psycho-analytic? NO
[Rosie] Requiring effort? NO
[Projoy] Belief system? NO
A feature of the intellect?
Related to politics or public life?
Is The Answer a noun or noun phrase?
[Rosie] Intellectual? NO *audience whispers among itself*
[INJ] Political? NO
[Projoy] Nounal? YES
I've also been considering the science question, and much like Projoy, I'm going to do a bit of a U-Turn; YES FOR A GIVEN VALUE OF SCIENCE. I believe it could be called a science by some people.
A social science?
Connected to the "Paranormal"?
[Projoy] Socially scientific? NO
[GL] Paranormal? NO
To do with the natural world?
Was it invented?
[Projoy] Natural? NO
[Tuj] Created? YES *audience applause*
Is it a type of person?
[Projoy] Demographic? NO
A theory? (Of anything)
Does it exist?
[Rosie] Theory? NO but *very loud applause from audience*
[Projoy] Existential? YES
Heredity?
Something that exists both in theory and in practice?
[Rosie] Passed down? NO
[Projoy] Works both ways? YES
Connected to economics?
Is it really really really small?
Is it a one word answer?
Is it something that can be studied in a reasonably mainstream environment?
Does it end with a Y?
Is it a process?
Sorry about the so long gap - had a LOT of stuff to do over the end of the weekend.
[Projoy] Economical? NO
[Tuj] Teensy-Weensy? DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU ARE COMPARING IT TO *audience laugh*
[Chalky] Just the one? NO
[INJ] Mainstream? YES
[GL] Why-y? NO
[Projoy2] Process? NO *more hushed whispers from audience*
A human activity?
Related to games or entertainment?
A cartoon?
Any medical connections?
[Projoy] Active? NO
[INJ] Move that joystick? NO
[Software] Cartoon? NO
[Rosie] Doctor, Doctor? STRICTLY NO (There is one connection, but it's so far gone from the standard question bounds that it's also not worth looking into.)
Since this is taking much longer than I anticipated (I really hope it's not because I'm giving the wrong answers) as a sort of first hint here's a roundup of what you do know.
Begins with P
Given value of science
Noun
It was invented
Audience gave loud applause to Theory
It exists
It works in both theory and practice
Studied in a mainstream environment
Also, it seems the audience have changed their mind and decided to give some rather late *loud applause* for 'Process'.
The Peter prinicple?
Can we change the audience?
Associated with business or commerce?
Parkinson's Law?
To do with the internets?
Pi?
Sorry if it's been mentioned. I'm ever so wrung out.
[Rosie] Incompetence rising? NO *audience laugh... then quickly fall silent*
[INJ] Businesslike? YES (but in the same way as Theory and Practice)
[Software] Filling the time available? NO
[Projoy] Intarwebs? NO
[Dujon] 3.14? NO-*is deafened by audience applause*
A pie-chart?
Is The Answer a type of number?
Probability?
[INJ] Sliced diagram? NO
[Projoy] Numerical? YES *more applause from the audience*
[Software] What's the chance? NO
Prime number(s)?
Pascal's triangle?
INJ's got it.
Planck's Constant?
Please, miss, can I have another go?
Pythagorus' Theorem?
No, not a theory. How about Fermat's Conjecture?
[INJ] Itself and one? NO
[Rosie1] Triangular numbers? NO
[Rosie2] Quantum mechanics? NO
[Projoy1] Square of the Hypotenuse? N- *audience explodes into applause* NO
[Projoy2] Pythagoras no greater than two? N- *audience applauds even louder, if that's even possible* NO
I'm probably spiraling out from the core but (it goes by a number of names) -"The Golden Square"?
Phi, the Golden Ratio?
If this is right, the winner should really be Dujon.
[Dujon, Rosie] Shiny yellow maths? NO *audience shout "Colder!"*
Pythagoreanism?
Poincaré's conjecture?
Had forgotten it started with P...
(a) Perfect Number(s)?
[Software] Mathematician Philosophy? NO *a few claps from audience*
[Projoy] Ball manifolds? NO
[INJ] Something we've yet to hear from Colin Sell? NO *audience ooh quietly*
Are we in the world of geometry here?
(I was about to suggest a platonic solid, but then realised that the whole point of them is that they don't exist in the real world.)
Oh, it's not a (mathematical) proof, is it?
Can I just say, btw, that this AVMA is (a) bloody hard and (b) very enjoyable.
[Projoy] Shaping the world? YES
(Taking the other one as a question as well) [Projoy2] Demonstrating true maths? YES
Glad you like it. I still hope that it's not taking this long because I'm answering the questions wrong. Just for another hint though; one of the questions I answered NO to earlier has got something to do with the answer, but I took the question to mean the definite article, as it were, because that's what I suspect it was intended as.
Pappus' Theorem?
Getting a bit arcane.
Polynomials?
A protractor?
I know it's wrong but I have to get it out of my head. I generally think it's a bad thing to know the first letter. Leads to all kinds of weird guesses.
Does the answer include the name of a mathematician?
I was sure Software was right until I noticed the answer to the "proof" question.
Is it, in fact a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem?
[Rosie] Surface areas? NO
[Software] Maths expression? NO
[Projoy] Angle measurer? NO
[CdM] Clue in the name? YES *audience applause*
[Projoy2] Proving the square? YES *more applause*
A Pythagorean Triple?
We're there.
[Rosie] Correct, it was indeed a Pythagorean Triple!
My confusion with some of the earlier questions arose when trying to work out whether mathematics could be classed as a science or not. But by reaching the correct answer I can rest easy knowing that if any of my answers were wrong, they weren't so wrong as to block out the answer completely.

One triangular baton handed over to Rosie.
(I can't resist pointing out that although I had never previously heard of "a Pythagorean triple", I still came quite close to winning that round! Good clues.)
*can't resist pointing out that she has never heard of a Pythagorean Triple and didn't even come close to asking any relevant questions but happily embraces fresh knowledge*
3,4,5 and all that
(Projoy, Chalky) Yes, I'd agree it doesn't quite trip off the tongue in the same way that Pythagorean Triangle does though it is a quite genuine mathematical term. BTW, did you know that 3 cubed plus 4 cubed plus 5 cubed equals 6 cubed?
OK, this is ANIMAL
Human?
(Projoy) Human? - YES.
Watt?
I'll go away now.
Still Alive?
(Dujon) Mr Steam Engine? - alas, NO.
(GL) Alive? - YES. Still alive? - A separate question
In entertainment?
Fictional?
(Softers) Entertainment? - NO, and for some, not in any way whatsoever.
(Projoy) Fictional? - NO. You may have been misled by my supplementary to Gusset Login in which I had taken his question to be "Alive and very old?" This person exists.
Born before 21st December 1969?
Born before 1940?
(Gusset Login) - A fortified over-forty? - YES.
(Projoy) At least a couple of years older than me? - YES.
Begins with P?
This question definitely coloured the last round strongly, although I'm not sure for better or for worse.
(Tuj) - Won't help here - does not begin with P.
Would a wheelchair come into this equation?
(Dujon) - Wheelchair-bound? - NO
Male?
(Gusset Login) - Male? - He is.
Political?
British?
(Softers) - Political? - NO .
(Projoy) - British? - NO.
Scientific?
American?
(Softers) - Scientist? - NO.
(Projoy)- American? - YES.
An entertainer?
(Chalky) - Entertainer? - Strictly speaking NO, but see Softers' first question. *some scattered mild applause*
Sporting?
(Projoy) - Sporting connection? - NO, none known.
Professorial?
(Softers) - Not a professor
Journalist?
(Projoy) - Hacking away? - NO.
In architecture?
(Projoy) - NO, not an architect. I know very little about American architects.
Does he belong in the broad category of 'religious'
(Dujon) - Known for his religion? - NO, although he is actually quite devout. Happy Christmas, mate.
A writer?
Would this man have connection with Jazz (perhaps as a clarinet player)?
DAMN!
Please ignore that question, Rosie.
(Projoy) - Not a writer.
(Dujon) OK, if you insist. *audience turn to each other, bewildered.*
Military?
You brushed aside 'entertainer' (Chalky's query and Software's earlier reference). As I find jazz entertaining therefore my second thought.
Would this man have connection with Jazz (perhaps as a clarinet player)?
I'm a glutton for punishment, me.
(Dujon) A jazzer? - He certainly is. *audience cheers and applauds*
(Projoy) - Not a military man.
Are you really saying you don't class jazz as entertainment?
(Projoy) It can be, and the subject of this AVMA is undoubtedly grateful for the money it generates but he would not be flattered to be called merely an entertainer, unlike say a comedian, who needs an audience above all else.
An instrumentalist (i.e. not a singer)?
(Projoy) - Instrumentalist? - YES.
Plays a brass instrument?
Was this gentleman once a part of Lawrence Welk's orchestra?
(Projoy) - Brass instrument? - NO.
(Dujon) - A middle-of-the-roader? - NO. *audience splutters in embarrassed amusement*
Is the man known for his artistry with a 'free reed' instrument.
I'm just narrowing the field.
(Dujon) - Reed instrument - NO.
Is this jazz instrumentalist NOT particularly entertaining?
:-) :-)
Given Chalky's drum roll: A percussionist?
Dave Brubeck?
(Chalky) - YES, not always easy listening, you could say.
(Dujon) Someone who hangs around with musicians? - well, actually he does, of course, because PROJOY has it. It's the great DAVE BRUBECK, 89 the other day. Well persisted, Pj. Your go.
Gosh! I must clearly take more pains in future to be less entertained when I listen to Blue Rondo à la Turk...

The next is ABSTRACT/ANIMAL...
Figurative?
Animal human?
(Proj) Me too, but not everybody. Have you tried playing it? Brubeck must have colossal maulers.
Begins with P?
[Raak] Figurative? KIND OF. Not sure which is the most helpful answer.
[Rosie] Human? YES and NO, but then again, NO
[Tuj] P-headed? NO
Mortality?
[Rosie] Le Grand Mort? NO (for that would also apply to vegetable matter, I think)
Does this apply to Life in the David Attenborough sense?
[Rosie] I'm not quite sure how to interpret the question.
Incidentally, I now realise there should have been some *applause* for your "Mortality" question.
Music-y?
Does it represent a state of mind?
(Pj) penult. question - Yes, it is a bit obscure. I was knackered and not totally sober after a prolonged bout of pub piano-tuning and payment in kind.
[Chalks] Musical? NO
[Rosie] State of mind? NO
Is it an observation on the behaviour of animals, including humans?
Sentience?
[Rosie] Observation? NO, a bit less abstract than that.
[Dujon] Sentience? NO
Was it invented?
[Proj] "YES and NO, but then again, NO" was a beautiful answer.
[Tuj] Invented? YEEES, I guess so. Not in the same sense as seed drills and nuclear reactors were, tho.
To do with ghosties and ghoulies?
A theory of behaviour?
[Chalky] Grabbed by the... NO, but you're moving in the right direction.
[Rosie] Theory? NO
Fictional?
Tough start here!
Is this a human idea or construct?
I think I see a glimmer of light...
[Tuj] Fictional? YES *a single pedantic audience member (probably Breadmaster) clears his throat disapprovingly at this answer, but everyone else ignores him*
[Duj] A human construct? YES
connected with Religion?
[Chalky] Religious connection? YES! *applause*
A dietary proscription?
[Rosie] Thou shalt not scoff? NO
Nativity thingy?
[Softers] Nativity? NOT AT ALL *audience laughter*
The Koran
May Allah forgive me.
The Priory of Sion?
[Duj] In the name of... NO
[GL] Dan Brown fuel? NO
Specific to one religion?
The Resurrection?
[Rosie] Specific to one religion? YES
[Chalky] And on the third day? NO
A form of sacrifice?
Nirvana?
[Rosie] Virgins and stone tables? NO
[GL] Smells Like Jain Spirits? NO
Quick and helpful New Year recap, disregarding unhelful byways: This is fictional*, connected with religion, and the audience have reacted positively to "mortality" and negatively to "nativity".
* unless you're amazingly pedantic
(oh, and the animal part is human to some extent, but then again not at all)
A particular (i.e. specific) god?
[Duj] A specific god? YES *audience applause*
Buddah?
In the ancient Greek pantheon?
[Softers] Fat guy? NO
[INJ] Kronos 'n' Co.? NO
Oops. That was me.
Is it one of the hindu gods?
Ganesh?
[GL] Brahma 'n' brigade? NO, and therefore
[CdM] Elephant-Head? NO (smart guess :))
An Egyptian deity?
[Duj] Egyptian? YES
Ra?
Amun?
I think we're nearly there...
[CdM] Ra? NO
[Amun] Amun? NO
Horus?
Osiris?
...and ever closer...
[GL] Horus? NO
[CdM] Osiris? NO
Anubis?
The Day of the Jackal
[Duj] You got it! ANUBIS is the answer on the card. *hands over baton inscribed with weird hieroglyphs*
Accepts in terror the bottom end of the staff.
As I typed my acceptance a flock of cockatoos flew over this my nest. Is it an omen or a red herring?
To be honest I don't know how this will work given my/our time difference. Let me think for a short while, please?
ANIMAL ABSTRACT
Is it a fictional human?
Anything specifically Australian?
Connected with the arts?
[GL] A papier mache man? NO
[Rosie] A beer drinking monotreme? NO
[INJ] Perhaps - but in the sense of which I surmise you ask the question - NO
Don't take the 'perhaps' as a clue. It isn't.
Begins with P?
[Tuj] Err, well, NO
Ladies and gentlemens, this is not going to work. The time difference does indeed put up some sort of barrier.
Perhaps Projoy might nominate a replacement?
Mythical?
Is the animal element human?
[Dujon] Don't give up on it yet. When CdM returns from his travels he'll be in your time zone, and Rosie operates on Hughestime, which is completely different from anyone else. Perhaps Flerdle needs to take a look in as well.
Is the abstract element fictional?
[Dujon] Don't give up. The game's more fun when a number of questions get backed up.
(INJ) I was just going to say the same thing. HMT has come into its own. I'll ask a question when I get back from the pub and Dujon has finished his breakfast.
A single unique thing?
Is this a well known phrase or saying?
All right then.
[Softers] As in feeble minds? NO
[INJ] A bipedal brain? NO
[GL] That, my friend, is a jolly good question. My answer must be that the subject exists but at the same time it doesn't. Therefore I am forced to YES
[Tuj] The one and only? YES
[Chalky] It is well known but it's not, other than by its description, that which you intimate. Ergo NO
Do we seek a single-word answer?
[Tuj] To be brutal and honest - NO
Invented?
I've got to say I'm much better at throwing the odd curveball in than staging an inquisition myself! Maybe I should set my watch to HMT so I know when Rosie's due...
[Tuj] That could well depend on the hours that Rosie's publican keeps combined with the depth of snow and black ice?
Invented? Not in the sense of the wheel, the steam engine or the loom, but invented it is. YES
Specific to a particular country or culture?
Ah, good international weather awareness! I can't imagine Rosie'd think a pub too bad a place to be snowed in.
Is the animal aspect mammalian?
[GL] YES
[Tuj] Sorry, I missed your last. Cultural or otherwise NO
Connected with food?
Something that is significant because of its status?
(e.g.the last mammoth)
I think under the circumstances I can allow myself to stack up questions - normally I'd wait for another intervening one.
Is it closely associated with literature?
[INJ] à la carte? NO
[INJv2] Given the situation I have no objection, ImNotJohn, but it's really up to the other participants.
In the sense that it is unique of its kind (although it has competitors in the fame stakes) YES
*audience is now stirring and seems to be taking a little more interest*
[GL] NO
Is it related to a particular form of media?
Mediation
Ooh heck, you do toss down the odd googly don't you?
In itself I would have to answer NO but in practical sense I would be inclined to YES
In other words the question is a wee bit too loose to pass a definitive judgment.
Was a particular writer responsible for this?
[Projoy] I would refer you to my earlier answer to Gusset Login relative to alphabetical verbiage. So NO
[Projoy] I will relent on my previous comment - but only to the extent that someone named it. To find out who did the deed I would need some more research, but I think that the effort would be pointless.
*The audience has reverted to its (or their) original attitude - heads up and staring at the roof of the auditorium*
Is the animal part of a particular mammalian species?
Is the abstractness because this is imaginary?
Rather than real but not pin-downable.
Does the answer contain more than three words?
Is the answer related to any form of entertainment?
[INJ] A viewpoint? YES
*Lots of movement and a few murmurs in the dress circle*
[GL] Triple plus NO
[INJ] A three ring circus? NO
[Projoy] Sorry, I've done it again.
A part of a mammalian species? NO
CLUE: The animal portion refers to a particular mammal but not to one of its named variations.
Is it a bear?
Is it a star constellation?
Just getting it out of my head.
[Tuj] Ursine? NO
*Every single audience member is now awake*
[Kinrah] Join the dots? NO ... BUT
*The audience has burst into applause, feet are being stamped on floorboards and a collective breath has been taken*.
Sirius?
An asterism?
I think the audience are just trying to keep warm, like the rest of us "up" here.
The Zodiac?
Leo?
Within the solar system?
[I have instructed the audience to 'tone it down a bit'. As you probably know they do tend to become over excited at times]
[Projoy] The dog with a waggly tail? NO
[Rosie] A casually recognised pattern of stars? NO
*The audience though is murmuring and beginning to look expectant*.
[Gusset Login] The ecliptically organised? NO
*Audience reaction was a decently loud ripple of applause.*
[Projoy] The King of the jungle? NO (see the answer to Kinrah above)
[INJ] Within the orbit of Sol? NO
[INJ] Sorry, my answer was looser than my collar. I should have said that it most surely does not orbit Sol, unless you take the sun's influence as the be-all and end-all of the Universe.
A galaxy?
Horsehead Nebula?
[Kinrah] One of the Andromedan look alikes - elliptical, spiral or otherwise? NO
*The audience has settled back but still looks interested*
[Gusset Login]The equine embodiment of bodylessness? YES
Offers a bed, sheets and the subject - plus a stick - to the winner.
OK, my turn I guess, MINERAL with ANIMAL (and possibly abstract) connections.
Human animal?
[Kinrah] YES and NO
Android?
[Software] A dreamer of electric sheep? NO
Begins with P?
Well played, Dujon =)
[Tuj] P...? NO
Relative to palaentology?
Congratulation on the win. To me it seemed like a pretty decent sprint to the finish. :)
Depiction of a living thing in some material?
A rubbing of sorts?
[Dujon] Dinosaur's Uncle? NO.
[Rosie] Depiction of the living? YES, would be the more helpful answer, though not technically the more accurate.
[Dujon II] Rubbing? NO
*The audience members, who helped a lot with the last round, begin to return from the bar and retake their seats*
A tombstone or similar memorial?
In stone?
[CdM] A memorial? YES
[Rosie] Stoned? NO
A unique item?
A statue?
[Tuj] One of a kind? In that there is only one of it, YES.
[Dujon] Statue? YES
*A smattering of applause from the audience*
A statue of a specific dead individual?
The Angel of the North?
[CdM] One Dead Person, Immortalised? YES, but not exclusively (See Kinrah's first question)
[Rosie] t'Angel? NO
An equine statue?
[Projoy] an equestrian statue? YES
Richard the Lionheart?
You know - the one outside parliament.
[INJ] Cœur de Lion? NO, but I do know the one you mean.
In Britain?
[CdM] British? NO
Colleoni statue in Venice?
[Chalky] Water Polo Pony? NO
In the US?
[CdM] Merkin? NO
European?
[INJ] Europe? YES
*The Audience mutter, possibly in anticipation or possibly the bar is running low on spirits again*
Does this reside in the Capitoline Museums (Rome)?
[Dujon] Roman Museums? NO
Is/was the human a monarch?
[INJ] The King/Queen? YES
To clarify an early answer in light of what is now known, I feel I should point out that although the statue is not stone its pedestal may be.
France?
Germany?
[Software] French? NO
[Projoy] German? NO
Greece?
Western Europe?
As defined by the pre-1989 'Iron Curtain'
[Chalky] Greek? NO
[INJ] Capitalist Running Dogs? NJET
Russia?
[Projoy] Russian? YES
Lenin's statue in Red Square?
[Softers] The guy on the horse is not Lenin but I'm not going to name him here 'cos all I've been doing is lurking. It begins with Z.
Erratum. It can't be the Zhukov statue because it would fall foul of the "Monarch" question. The same goes for Lenin, for that matter.
The statue of Peter the Great in St Petersburg?
[INJ] Peter the Great? There's more than one famous statue of Peter the Great in St Petersburg. Which one did you mean?
The Bronze Horseman
The one perched on the great big rock - which Wikipedia tells me is called the 'Thunder Stone'
[INJ] Медный всадник? YES. Well done ImNotJohn, have a batton.
And on we go
This one shouldn't be too hard
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
A depiction of some kind?
[Kinrah] - Depiction? - I think 'NO' is the most useful answer, although for some people the answer might well be different. It could be argued both ways.
A statue?
[Software] Statue? - NO
Is it a fictional character?
[Glogin] Made-up? - YES
Begins with P?
Fictional human?
[Tuj] Pplus - NO *some muttering in the audience*
[CdM] Human? - NO
Female?
[Tuj] Distaff? - NO
Anthropomorphic?
[GLogin] Anthropomorphic? - YES, though there's room for discussion
Cartoon character?
Deceased?
[Chalky] - Cartoon? - YES *considerable muttering in the audience*
[Tuj] - RIP? - NO (or, more strictly, Not Applicable)
Bugs Bunny?
Began as a cartoon?
[Software] Wabbit? - NO
[Projoy] Originally Cartoon? - NO
Originated in the C20?
Homing in on it quickly
[Projoy] So last century? - YES
The Pink Panther?
Began in books?
[Kinrah] Panther? - NO
[Projoy] Originally in books? - YES *audience are beginning to gather up bags, coats etc.*
Winnie the Pooh?
A small long eared mammal?
Didn't think that would take long
We have a winner. Winnie ille Pu it is. I suspect Projoy might have been thinking of him for a couple of guesses.

One hunny-covered baton passed on.

I wasn't, actually. It just so happened that Simon Hoggart's parliamentary sketch on Thursday mentioned a Heffalump trap, so that brought him to mind. Would Pooh also be vegetable? What's he made of?

Anyhoo, here's a VEGETABLE.
edible?
I started off thinking about a Teddy Bear (possibly Aloysius), but the 'what is it made of?' question was a bit of a problem, so Pooh was easier as an abstract.
Harvested?
Living?
Edible?
Round?
Wood?
This obviously doesn't count as stacking questions since CdM's taken over my previous one (unless the initial capital is significant).
[Kinrah] Harvested? *considerable audience laughter* NO
[GL] Alive, alive-o? NO
[CdM] Edible? NO *more audience laughter*
[Tuj] Round? NO *yet more audience laughter*
[INJ] Wood? NO.
An object made of vegetable matter?
Unique?
[Rosie] Object made of veg. matter? YES
[Tuj] One is one and all alone and evermore...? NO
Begins with P?
Since more orthodox questions drew blanks
[Tuj] P, please, Bob? NO, not as the item is expressed on the card
Is it more utilitarian than decorative or artistic?
[Rosie] Utility? Hm. Interesting question. I think YES is the most helpful answer, although the more strictly correct answer is NO.
Is it associated with a particular room?
[Tuj] Its own space? NO, not really.
Culturally specific?
Normally seen outdoors?
[CdM] Specific to a particular culture? YES
[Rosie] Predominantly an outdoor thing? NO
Is it specific to a particular western culture?
A rubber plant?
....American condom factory....
[GL] A particular Western Culture? YES
[Rosie] Rubber? NO
Is the specific Western culture either Icelandic or British?
[CdM] Björk/Boudica? YES
Is it made of wicker?
Can we eliminate Icelandic specificity?
[GL] Wicker, man? NO
[Rosie] Non-Icelandic? YES
Does this involve string?
[Rosie] No strings attached.
Does it involve paper?
[GL] Papery? YES! *applause*
A globular paper lampshade?
The House at Pooh Corner?
(the book, not the abode)
[Rosie] Seventies interior decor nightmare? NO
[CdM] Pooh-ey book? NO
A book?
[GL] Big papery thing tied up with string? (or glue for that matter) NO
Is it likely that any member of the morniverse owns one of these?
[CdM] Morniversal ownership? PRETTY LIKELY. I don't, as it happens.
A periodical publication?
Wallpaper?
[Tuj] Beano? NO
[Soft] Anaglypta? *laughter* NO
primarily decorative?
Does it take the form of a single sheet of paper?
[INJ] Primarily decorative? SEE ABOVE (I said that the most helpful thing is to think of it as functional, but the more strict answer in this particular case might be that it's decorative)
[CdM] A single sheet? YES *applause*
Recap, as there seems to be a generalised torpor...
This "Vegetable" is a single sheet of paper (of which there are many instances), most helpfully described as functional, from Britain.
Is it usually affixed to a wall?
A map or chart of some sort??
Sorry - missed Rosie's previous question.
Christmas card?
[GL] Wall? NO
[INJ] Topographical? NO
[Soft] Xmas card? NO
A doiley?
Does it have words printed on it?
[INJ] Like the Irish Parliament? NO
[Rosie] Words thereon? YES!
Is it something that would be used as advertising?
Beer mat?
I think you still need a couple more deductive questions...
[GL] PR? NO
[Soft] Beer mat? NO
Is it smaller than a credit card?
Is it larger than a bath towel?
[Chalky/GL] It is larger than a credit card and smaller than a bath towel.
Fish & Chip newspaper?
Does one write on this?
Is it a legal document?
[INJ] Newspaper? NO
[Rosie] For writing on? NO
[Tuj] A legal document? YES. *hearty applause mixed in with a couple of questioning murmurs*
The Magna Carta?
Although I doubt it, because checking back I see that Projoy set that before, and I guessed it...
[CdM] My memory is indeed that long and it isn't the Magna Carta :-)
Is there a requirement that it be on display in certain locations?
Related to a specific city?
A "Last Will and Testament"
Hm. Still something you're missing.
[CdM] Mandated display? NO
[Tuj] City-specific? NO
[irach] Give the spoons to Cousin Doris? NO
Is it blank on one side?
Birth Certificate?
[CdM] Blank on either side? NO
[Software] Baby Receipt? NO
Are all the instances identical copies of a single identifiable original?
A certificate of achievement?
[CdM] Copies of a single...? YES, TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, AND YET, IMPORTANTLY, NOT QUITE.

[Rosie] Achievement? NO
A certificate of some sort?
[GL] Not a certificate.
A ten shilling note?
Ah ha!!
[CdM] A ten-shilling note? NO *tumultuous applause*
A pound note?
[Rosie] Well carpe'd! The words on the card are: A Series D One Pound Note. Please accept this as your prize money:
Isaac Newton's on the back

*hands rolled up note to Rosie*
Oops. Sorry vincelewis. Here's how it looked...
Oscar accpetance speech
I owe everything to CdM. *breaks down and weeps uncontrollably*.

*Pulls self together* Stop giggling at the back there and announces that the next subject is

ABSTRACT with MINERAL and ANIMAL connections.

Altogether now... a human construct?
Is the animal human?
Is it a fictional location?
e.g. Gotham City, Hogwarts or Moon Base Alpha
(Projoy) - Not in the way we all know and love.
(INJ) Human? - YES, but this connection is not the most important.
(GL) - Fictional location? - NO.
Begins with a P?
Fictional?
Any sort of entertainment?
(Tuj) - Pinitiation? - NO.
(Projoy) - Fictional - NO.
(Raak) - Entertainment? - NO, not at all.
Connected with the natural world?
An activity?
Science-related?
(Damn! I was almost sure I had that last one right. I probably would have gotten it right, too, if I had remembered that pound notes weren't circulating any more (something that I knew but had not really absorbed , if you see what I mean).)
A single-word answer?
[CdM] Remind me not to ask you for change for a fiver ;)
[CdM] Strictly speaking, there are still RBoS pound notes in legal circulation in the UK, and there are also pound notes in the Channel Islands and probably other places, hence my being forced to choose a specific note series rather than just "a one pound note". I almost went for the Duke of Wellington fiver. I must admit, that last one seemed to go down a wrong turning, but I think I was right to say "yes" to "a legal document".
(INJ) - Mountains, typhoons, worms etc? - YES, partly.
(Projoy) - NOT an activity.
(CdM) - Science-related? - NO, not directly.
(Tuj) - One word? - NO, four times NO.
Does this occur naturally?
(Projoy) - A natural occurrence? - NO.
Do animals make it happen?
(Projoy) - Caused by animals? - Let's say there's a contribution.
Weather or Climate related?
(Projoy) - Weather or climate related? - YES. *applause*
The Greenhouse Effect?
Specific to a restricted geographical location or zone?
(GL) - Greenhouse effect, anthropogenic or otherwise? - NO.
(INJ) - Specific location or zone? - YES.

I should add that the weather/climate connection is by no means the whole picture.

Chernobyl fall-out?
That reminds me of a very old joke.
Something that happens because of the weather?
Specific to wintry weather?
(ISP) - Growing extra fingers etc.? - NO.
(Projoy) - YES. *some applause*
(INJ) - Wintry weather? - NO, not speciifically, but...
The rain in Spain ?
(irach) - Las lluvias? - NO, señor.
Anything to do with cicadian rhythms?
Windy?
(Projoy) - Did you mean circadian?. The answer is NO, anyway.
(Softers) - Windy? - Very much so, Gary. *applause*. But see my comment 3 answers back.
A weather forecast?
(GL) - Weather forecast? - NO. See the penultimate reply to Projoy.
Something that happens *after* the weather than causes it, then?
(post hoc ergo propter hoc)
s/than/that. Dunno what's going on with my spelling lately.
(Projoy) - Caused by the weather? - YES, but by no means wholly. *Moderate applause. Good.* BTW, according to Derek and Clive it's "yer post hocter proc, mate."
A geological feature?
Sorry I'm late. Computer illiteracy (continuing). Bah!
(Dujon) - Geological feature? - NO.
(All) This is not a natural occurrence. See early question by Projoy.
Does mineral activity also contribute to making this happen?
(Projoy) - Mineral activity involved? Rather an unusual way of putting it, but the answer is YES. *some applause*
Wind power generation?
Where animal activity contributes to making this thing, is this exclusively about human activity?
(INJ) - Big windmills? - NO.
(Projoy) - Animal contribution human? YES.
Would this generally be considered unfavourable?
Is this is 'A well-known phrase or saying in four words?'
(INJ) - Unfavourable? - Again, very much so, Gary.
(Chalky) - "All men are fools"? - Not a phrase or saying but a well-known combination of 4 words, shall we say. Includes the definite article.
"The Bloody English Weather"?
To do with erosion?
(Pj) - The vile elements? - NO, but there's a contribution.
(INJ) - Erosion? - NO.
Reminder: Weather is only a part of this.
Anything to do with work?
(Projoy) - Work-related? - NO.
(All) A change of tense in some of the questions would be quite helpful.
Is this something that happened in the past?
(Chalky) - An event in the past? - YES. *cheering, applause, etc*
Did this happen in the UK?
(Chalky) - Happened in the UK? - YES.
Before 1953?
(Projoy) - When ah were a lad, or earlier? - YES
Before 1900?
After 1912?
(Projoy) - Before 1900? - YES.
(Gusset Login) - Not the Titanic. :-)
If I said it was cold would I be getting warm?
Before 55 B.C.?
(Duj) - Essentially cold? - NO. My guess is at the time of this event the temperature was about 6°C, which I suppose is a bit chilly for an Aussie.
(GL) - Pre-Roman? - NO.
Before 1812?
Before 1700?
The Little Ice Age?
(GL) - Before 1812? NO.
(Projoy) - Before 1700? - NO?
(Softers) - Global, or at least European, cooling? - NO.

This is an event, caused mainly by the weather.

A shipwreck?
(The Mystery of the Mary Celeste, for instance?)
(Projoy) - Shipwreck? - NO, moving in the right direction. *some scattered applause*.
A maritime event?
The weather-caused destruction of a building?
A Tsunami?
(Projoy) - Maritime event? - In one sense, YES, just about, but no ships involved.
(CdM) - Building destroyed by weather? - Well, I wouldn't call it a building. *Some applause*
(Softers) - Tsunami? - NO.
A hurricane?
Happened on the coastline?
The Tay Bridge Disaster?
Topical, if so!
Projoy has got it...
(CdM) - He has. It's THE TAY BRIDGE DISASTER. Well done, Projoy. Poetry, please. I hand you the single-line token and a piece of Dundee cake.
It was on the second of February, and in the year two thousand and ten
A day that will be remembered for a very long time by all men
That a very good AVMA puzzle was solved by Projoy
Causing all the players to jump up and down for joy.
[CdM] :)
Glad I got that, but being a bit maxed out with work at the mo, I think I have to pass to someone else to set one. I guess first come, first served...?
(CdM) - Excellent. I chortle, not doing ROFLMAO. You could set the next one.
All right, since I have had one in my head for a while. This is

Possibly VEGETABLE with ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS but probably ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE CONNECTIONS
Is the vegetable a tree?
Begins with a P?
Oh, the emotional rollercoaster of being an audience member...
A tree? Yes. *excited applause*
Beginning with P? No. *disappointed silence*
A diagram of some kind?
Diagram? No.
The Wind in the Willows?
Wind in the Willows? No.
Alive?
A specific, named tree?
The Tree of Life?
Alive? No. *laughter*
A specific named tree? Yes. *applause*
Tree of life? No.
The Tyburn Tree?
In the UK?
The Faraway Tree?
I wonder why I haven't bought any Enid Blyton for my new daughter...
Tyburn Tree? No.
In the UK? No.
Faraway Tree? No.
A small clarification to my answer to Projoy: this is a specific tree, but it's probably not correct to call it a "named" tree. The words on the card describe rather than name it.
The Tree of Knowledge?
The burning bush?
Tree of knowledge? No.
Burning bush? No.
Is it a specific tree because of a record property it has?
Apologies for the double post, but I'm logging off in a couple of minutes
Is it a palm tree on a desert island?
Record property? No.
Palm tree? No.
Would this be symbolic tree (as on the flag of a nation)?
A symbolic tree? Um. I think the best answer is No, or at most: Sort of, but not really.
On the flag of a nation? No.
Is it mentioned in an authentic historic text?
Not a txt msg.
Mentioned in a historical text? *applause for the question* I think the best answer is No, but I really need to know what you mean by "an authentic historical text".
Mentioned in a document?
(CdM) - Yes, a bit vague. I meant The Bible, Koran, etc.
Oak Apple Day?
Bible, Koran, etc? No.
Oak Apple Day? No.
A family tree?
Again, getting it out of my head.
Family tree? No.
The tree chopped down by some ancient Usatian vandal?
The Cherry Tree chopped down by George Washington?
Is it a tree from an historical/semi-legendary story?
Yes, yes, and again yes.
The words on the card are The Cherry tree allegedly chopped down by the young George Washington. The story is probably fabricated, hence my classification. I am pretty certain that this was exactly what INJ was referring to, so I think he should get the rather nicely turned cherrywood baton ahead of GL.
I agree, I would have had to turn it down anyway due to lack of free time.
Well, thank you
[GL] Very gentlemanly of you Sir or Madam. Right, after a somewhat busy weekend, we'll start again with:
ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections - or - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections - Depends on your pov
Is the animal human?
[Chalky] human? - NO
A mammal?
[Chalky] mammalian? - NO
A Dragon?
The serpent in the Garden of Eden?
News International get everywhere.
Insect?
Fictional?
Not many more orders to try
[GL] Hidden Dragon? - NO
[Rosie] herpetological? - NO
[Software] Insect? - NO
[Kinrah] Made-up? - Well, that's why the question is posed as it is. FWIW, my answer is YES, and I suspect that would apply to most, but maybe not all, of the contributors to the morniverse.
To do with religion?
[Projoy] smells and bells? - YES (*a small ripple*)
I did rather signal that, didn't I?
Something from Judeo-Christian legend/history?
Angelic?
A sacred animal in some religion?
[Projoy] Judeo-Christian? - YES
[Dujon] Non angli sed angeli? - NO
[Rosie] Baal-lamb? - NO
Devilish?
A character from the Old Testament?
[Software] From the very dark side? - NO
[CdM] OTT? YES
A bird?
[Rosie] Avian? - YES *applause*
Dove-ish?
[Software] Dived? - NO
A raven?
[Projoy] Raven? - YES * Applause and the noise of coats being put on, bags being picked up, etc.*
The raven that couldn't find the olive tree?
We have a winner
Very impressive - I thought that would prove a little more difficult.
The answer is indeed The Raven that was the first bird released from the Ark
One gopher-wood baton handed on
Oops. Was working all day. I think I might have to pass again, as still rather behind with work. The floor is open.
It's been sitting here for a while, so I'll take it.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and sometimes MINERAL connections
Fictional?
Are the animal connections non-human and mammal?
[Tuj] Made up? YES
[irach] Mammalian but non-human? NO
Does this come from a work of fiction such as a novel?
Animal human?
[Rosie] Bookish? YES and NO
[INJ] Humanity? YES
From a non-novelistic work of fiction?
Is the mineral metal?
Religion based?
[Projoy] Fictional? YES
[GL] Metal? CAN BE
[Dujon] Religous? NO
A weapon?
Science fiction?
[Dujon] Object capable of harm? NO *animated whisperings from audience*
[Software] SciFi? CAN BE, but it would be more helpful if I said NO
From the world of motion pictures?
[INJ] YES and NO; however again NO is more helpful.
Begins with P?
Is the mineral liquid?
[Tuj] P-to the rest of it? NO
[INJ] Liquidity? NO
Is the Abstract a quality ascribable to humans?
[Rosie] Quality of humanity? NO
Is the animal a single identifiable person?
[INJ] A single identity? VERY NO.
A single-word answer?
A particular battle?
[Tuj] One word? To be honest it depends on whether you're being definitive, in which case the answer is YES, or whether you're being more abstract, in which case NO. Either way you won't get a very helpful answer.
[Dujon] A battle? Some could call it a battle, but it's going to help more if I say NO
A riot or similar unruly assembly?
A cause? (e.g. Suffragettes)
[Rosie] I predict a riot? NO
[Dujon] Group with a common goal? NO
Any chance of a clue?
[Tuj] I don't see why not.
A run through of what you know:
It is fictional
Involves humans in some way
The mineral can be metal at times
Not a weapon but the audience seemed to like the word
Nowhere near a single person

If I had to give an extra clue: it is a game. I can't get more blunt than that.
Does or has the game exist(ed) in the real world as well as the fictional one?
Is it something akin to chess pieces?
Lewis Carroll connection?
[Rosie] I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you please elaborate?
[Dujon] Chess pieces? NO
[irach] Alice related? NO
Nought's and Crosses?
(tic-tac-toe to our American Morniversers)
[Software] O&X? NO
Boardo?
(Kinrah) You say it's a game and is fictional, which to me could mean it only takes place in a story and could be a game that does not exist in the real world (e.g. competitive vole-polishing). Or it could be a known game between fictional contestants, such as Melchester Rovers etc.
[GL] Checkmate, I'll take that card? NO some whisperings from audience
[Rosie] Ohh. I meant fictional as in the story behind the game is fictional, as opposed to something based on a true story. I apologise if you didn't read it that way. Yes, the game exists in the real world, whether the players are fictional or not is entirely up to a writer's discretion.
Is the result of the game significant to the story?
Nonsense - is it?
Fantasy Football?
[Rosie] Result significant? YES
[Software] Gobbeldegook? NO
[Kim] Fan Made Foot Sports? NO
Ok, since this doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I'm going to reveal the answer and pass the baton to somebody else.

I was thinking of the game of Cluedo (or I believe it's called Clue in the US). Hence:
Fictional
Animal connection human
There have been books and films made on the subject
Pieces can be made of metal or other minerals
Involves weapons (see audience reaction)
Many identities
A one or multi-word answer depending on whether you say 'A Game of Cluedo' or 'Cluedo'
The end of the game is significant in that the true murderer is locked up

In any case, a candlestick-shaped baton handed to whoever wants to take it.
Well, reading back, I think that Tuj actually won the round at 3:48 pm on the 2nd of March. So it must be his turn.
[CdM] Very generous ;) I'll have to decline as this is about the busiest period of my life, certainly thus far. Baton, anyone?
I'll take the baton if no one is using it. MINERAL
Metal?
Stone?
[Rosie] Metal? No.
[Software] Stone? No.
liquid?
Gaseous?
Excluding flatus, obviously
[INJ] liquid? No, is the most useful answer. Partly, is more accurate.
[Rosie] Gas? Yes
Is the mineral water?
In whatever state.
[INJ] water? Not to any significant extent, no.
Found in the home?
[Software] Found in the home? No (Sounds of mirth from the audience).
meteorological/atmospheric?
[INJ] meteorological or atmospheric? Technically no, but it may be related.
Flammable?
Connected with transport?
Composed primarily of a single element?
[Rosie] Flammable? Depends what you do with it, but normally probably not.
[Software] Transport? No.
[INJ] Single element? Yes. (More than 75%)
Compressed air?
[Rosie] Compressed air? No
One of the Inert Gases?
[Rosie] Inert gas? No
Correction: [INJ] I have double checked and it might be slightly less than 75% composed of a single element.
Anaesthetic?
[Rosie] Anaesthetic? No.
The sun?
Not the penny dreadful.
*Smattering of applause from the audience*
[Rosie] Sol? No.
Some other star?
Is the single 75%ish element hydrogen?
Helium?
[Software] Helium? No.
[CdM] 70-75% Hydrogen? Yes.
[Rosie] A Star? No.
Jupiter?
By Jove, that had better be right.
[Rosie] Jupiter? YES. Have a baton.
Well, that was quick, and this may also be not too difficult .
It's ABSTRACT
A pseudonym?
Don't ask, I don't know.
(Dujon) - Not a pseudonym.
A human concept?
(Softers) - Human concept? - YES
Specifically European?
Does it begin with P?
(Softers) - Specifically European - NO. *one or two sniggers from the audience*
(Gusset Login) Pinitialism? - NO. Not in English, at any rate.
Specific to some particular culture or place?
Related to language?
(CdM) - Specific to some particular culture or place? - YES, but only in terms of the actual word (s) on the card.
(Dujon) - NOT language-related.
Any political connection?
(Softers) - Political connection? - YES, very much so, Gary. *vigorous audience applause*
Pertaining to the erstwhile Soviet Union?
The Great Firewall of China?
(irach) - NO, not pertaining specifically to the USSR.
(INJ) - Good thinking but NO, alas.
Clarification regarding CDM's query - the best answer is really a straightforward NO. Anything else may be misleading.
A joke of some kind?
(Dujon) - A joke? NO, far from it.
Anything to do with expenses?
Although they are far from abstract.
(Softers) - Expenses? - YES, though not exclusively. *vigorous applause*
An Election?
Obviously not imaginary duck houses??
(INJ) - NO, not an election.
(Softers) - Mallard's engine shed? - NO, but *further mild applause.*
Corruption?
(CdM) - Corruption? Getting very warm. *more audience applause*
A quango?
(Dujon) - A quango? NO.
Fictious parliamentary expenses?
(Softers) - One ball of string, one skewer, one pair of scissors as Representative of the All-Party Conker Committee? - NO, but that's part of it.
An inquiry of some sort?
Obviously dancing around it ...
(Softers) - An inquiry? - NO. Dancing round it is the very phrase. :-)
A government policy of some kind (e.g. the budget)?
(Dujon) - NO, not government policy at all, at least as they see it.
A Leak?
(INJ) - NO, not a leak.
This is a rather general term.
Sleaze?
SLEAZE it is! Well done GL. Over to you.
Oh, OK my turn, I guess.... ANIMAL
Human?
Alive?
[INJ] Human? Yes
[CdM] Alive? At one time, but not now.
Famous individual?
European?
[Softie] Individual of note? Yes
[INJ] European? Yes
Male?
[i,rach] Male? Yes
British?
[Rosie] British? Yes
In the entertainment field?
Artistic?
In a broad sense
[irach] An Entertainer? Yes
[INJ] Artistic? That's a matter of personal opinion. Some would say he was and some that he wasn't, I suspect.
Born in the 20th century?
[Rosé] A 20th Century Boy? Yes
A banjo/banjolele/ukelele player?
[Dujon] A banjo/banjolele/ukelele player? That's three questions. At least one of which would have the answer yes.
George Formby?
[Software] Ooh, mother. Turned out nice again? YES have this baton that was leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street.
*Blushes as that certain little lady passes by*

Dammit, now I have to think ...

I know - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL Connections

A fictional character?
More than one animal involved?
A human construct?
A G-string?
[Gusset Login] I'm ever so pleased. ;-)
[GL] - Bugs Bunny? NO
[irach] The Herd? - YES
[Rosie] Imagination? YES
[Duj] Airy stuff? NO
An organisation of like-minded individuals?
Would Calgary be related?
[Rosie] affiliation? NO * spattering of applause from audience *
[Duj] Stampede? Not sure what you mean but NO is probably the answer.
A fictional group of humans?
Any connection with sports?
[GL] Imaginary? NO. * chuckling from audience *
[Juxta] Fitness? NO.
Any connections with politics?
[Rosie] Collective decision making? YES!
A general election?
A marginal constituency?
[Pro] Current mêlée? - NO. * some laughter and applause from audience *
[Rosie] Tactical territory? - NO.
Some kind of discussion?
A hung parliament
Or a hanged parliament, if you prefer that idea.
[Pro] Debate? - NO.
[INJ] Strung-up? (They should be). -NO.
Democracy?
[FGZ] Choosability? NO * laughter from audience *
A type of government?
[INJ] Party specific? NO.
A method of voting?
The House of Lords?
[FGZ] Ballot? - NO.
[Rosie] Feudalism?- NO.
Is it related to a change in government?
[GL] Selection - YES. * some applause from audience *
A coup?
[Duj] Junta? - NO. nothing so dramatic.
Hint: two words on card.
Regime Change?
Conservative government?
To do with totalitarianism?
[GL] Revolution? - NO.
[FGZ] Toryism? - NO.
[Pro] Stalin and his mates? - NO.
Hint: Remember this is largely ABSTRACT!
Is it a political term of phrase?
Dissolution of Parliament?
[FGZ] Spin? - YES! (although not always what politicians themselves want to convey)
[Rosie] End of Term? - NO.
The truth?
Campaign Promises?
A sudden shift in the structure of a hill?
[Pro] Veracity - NO (certainly virtual in the case of politicians)
[Duj] Lib-Dem revival? - NO
[FGZ] Promises, promises? - YES!
FGZ has it! I pass on the over-egged baton and may the best man win!
Thanks, Software, I dunno how to do the big letters thing, so here goes...

ANIMAL
Animal = human?
[Software] Homo Sapiens? NO
Four legs?
Quadroped? NO
Alive?
A bird?
[GL] Animate? YES
[Rosie] Ornithological? YES
A particular species?
Specific? YES Just to warn you guys that i have started travelling again, so I may not be on as often to answer questions. I'll try to get on as often as I can.
Extant?
Sorry, I don't quite follow, please rephrase.
Extant (adj.) - A species which isn't extinct
Currently in existance? - YES
[FGZ*] PfD is quite correct (Thank you PfD). I might stress that I am not PfD but also that this site does include a wide variety of pedants with an equal proportion of grammarians, lexicographers, etymologists and other related types - each of which insists on proving their existence.
A bird of prey?
[GL] Predatory? - No
Found in Europe?
European? NO
A flightless bird?
North America?
Endemic to North America? NO
Flightless? YES
An ostrich?
A Penguin?
Kiwi?
[Rosie][Duj][GL] All incorrect
[GL] Nope.
Penguin?
not a Linux fan by any chance?
Cassowary?
Kakapo?
All still incorrect so far... [Software] I take it that's not an AMVA question, and no, sadly I have never actually tried linux. I am currently windows only.
Silkie?
Any relevance to current events?
[GL] Nope [Rosie]Relevant? - no
Is it a member of the crane family?
Gruiformes.
A Chook?
Rhea?
[GL] Crane? NO
[Duj, Soft] NO
sorry guys but I've been stuck in Invercargill with no internet. Definitely not a great situation
Found primarily in Africa?
Kakapo?
Should I be trembling?
[INJ] African? No
[GL] Nope, as I told Juxtapose earlier
[Dujon] If you did, I would laugh at you

So far there have been some close guesses, but none spot on yet
A sub-species of a current guess?
[Software] Not that close
Australasian?
[INJ] Yes
Is it a kind of duck?
Begins with a P?
[GL] No [Tuj] No
Specific to New Zealand? (e.g. the Takahe)
[Duj] Certainly
[GL] My apologies, but I have answered a previous question incorrectly. Upon further research the animal in question belongs to the family of gruiformes. I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause, but Wikipedia has let me down.
Takhe?
If it is Dujon deserves the win.
[GL] Not the takahe, or he would have won.
Endemic only to the South Island?
This could turn into a guessing game. ZL has a significant number of gruiformes so I am trying my best to start a narrowing down of the possibilities.
Weka?
And with that, the well contested baton is passed to Gusset Login. Well done and good luck to all. I am not sure if it is endemic only to the SI, Dujon, but that was the only place I saw them.
OK, time for another ANIMAL
Human?
Used as a mascot?
[Rosie] Human? Sometimes.
[Juxtapose] Mascot? Almost everything has been used as a mascot at sometime, I don't believe that this is the exception.
A part of an animal?
[CdM] A chunk of someone? YES
Is this literal 'chunk' used as a description of a human (e.g. He was built like the back end of an elephant)?
[Dujon] Describing a human? I can't think of a time I have heard it used in that way, but I guess it's possible.
A particular animal or human?
An organ?
A werewolf?
Begins with P?
[Rosie] Particular? No
[Juxtapose] Organ? {Smattering of applause} No
[Dujon] Lycanthrope? No
[Tuj] P***? Not in english
A gland, perhaps?
[Juxtapose] A gland, perhaps? perhaps not
Relative to cardiology?
[Dujon] Cardiac relativity? No
Begins with P (to your knowledge) in some other language?
A head?
(CdM) Pen in Welsh, so Yes. :-)
[CdM] P-ing in foreign? I think it might in Czech but I'm far from an expert
[Rosie] A head? {Much applause} No
Physiognomy?
Amygdala?
[INJ] Studying Bumps? Would be abstract
[CdM] Amygdala? No
A skull?
[Juxtapose] skull? YES Have a juxtaposed baton.
Minor pedantry
Physiognomy = the face
Phrenology = determining the character by studying the lumps & bumps of the skull
Retro-phrenology = hitting the skull precisely with a hammer in order to achieve the configuration that gives the required character traits.
Sorry NotJohn
You're right, I misread. It was still wrong, if anything wrongerer.
Ooh, only my second baton-receiving. How exciting!
Alright-ah. This time we shall say: MINERAL.
Is it valuable?
[FGZ] Valuable? Yes.
Begins with P?
An object or objects?
More than 50% metal?
Unique?
Stone?
Is it radioactive?
Second letter A?
Last letter Y?
[Tuj] /^P/ No.
[Rosie] An object or objects? Yes.
[GL] More than 50% metal? Yes.
[Dujon] Unique? Typically no.
[Software] Stone? Stone is often involved.
[CdM] Radioactive No.
[Tuj2] /^.a/ No.
[GL2] /y$/ No.
A machine?
[Rosie] A machine? No.
Decorative?
A letter opener?
[GL] Decorative? I'm going to say Yes, though it's debatable.
[Softers] A letter opener? No.
Smaller than a toaster?
Bigger than a bread van?
[Tuj] <"toaster" Yes!
[GL] >"bread van" Nop.
A depositary of some kind?
A Ring?
[Dujon] depositary - a facility where things can be deposited for storage or safekeeping? No.
[FGZ] A ring? Yes. *much expectant applause*
A millstone?
An engagement ring?
[Softers] A millstone? Not quite...
[CdM] An engagement ring? YES! Well deduced, all. As it turns out, I am soon to be one half of "Mr. and Mrs. Juxtapose". The Mr. half, specifically. Have a ludicrously overpriced hand-made wedding baton.
Almost a lurker's victory, there. And congratulations, Juxtapose! All right, this one is

ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections
Conservatism?
An anarcho-syndicalist rabbit?
Making a welcome return.
Supermouse?
Conservatism? No. (Is that an animal?)
Picketing Bunny? No.
Supermouse? No.
Is the animal human?
Human? No.
Starts with P?
David Cameron?
Mind if I join you?
Living creature(s)?
Is it a mascot of some sort?
OK, scratch that last one. David Cameron is human, as far as anyone knows.
P-begun? No.
The beast Cameron? No.
Alive? No.
Mascottish? Yes.
A cartoon character?
Cartoon character? No.
Represents a nation or geographical area?
National Geographic? No.
Is it associated with a particular company or product?
Symbolic?
Extinct?
Also making a (hopefully) welcome return.
Of the feline ilk?
Associated with company or product? Yes *applause*
Symbolic? Yes, in the mascottish sense already noted. Did you have something more specific in mind?
Extinct? No (or perhaps not applicable would be better)
Catty? Yes.
Is it Tony the Tiger?
The British Lion?
The Wild Haggis?
Familiar to a resident of America?
British company or product?
Tony? Wrrrrrrrrrrrrong.
British Lion? No.
Wild Haggis? No.
Familiar from California to the New York islands? Yes.
British company or product? No.
US company or product?
To get the obvious follow-up out of the way...
A product more than a company?
US company or product? Yes.
Product more than company? No.
Morris the Cat?
Morris the Cat? No.
The paddle pop lion?
Very similar to the Merlion in Singapore
Paddle Pop Lion? I think you will find that begins with P. Therefore, No.
The MGM roaring lion?
MGM lion? Close enough for a Yes! The words on the card were, strictly, The Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Lions (plural), with the answer referring to the actual animals. (Not all the lions actually roared, by the way.) At least in my question-setting world, many of the guesses that people gave would be Abstract with animal connections, as opposed to the Animal with abstract connections that I specified.

One celluloid representation of a baton passed on to irach.
This next one is just ANIMAL.
Unique?
Human?
Symbolic?
[CdM]Yes, unique.
[GL]Yes, human.
[Software] Hmmm... I presume could be considered a symbol of sorts.
Alive now?
[jim] No, but in a sense will always be alive.
Ronnie James Dio?
[jim] No, not RJ Dio.
Did they die before 17th May 1983?
[GL] The person in question was reported to have died prior to 17 May 1983, but will likely always be immortal.
An entertainer?
[INJ] No, not an entertainer.
Jesus Christ?
No, not Jesus Christ.
Fictional?
[Juxtapose] Yes, fictional.
When you speak of this fictional human as "always being alive" and "immortal", do you mean that there is something about this particular character that is immortal, as opposed to the character being immortal simply by virtue of being fictional? If you see what I mean.
[CdM] Mostly just by being fictional, but perhaps a little more than just a character in this case.
Did the character originally appear in a book?
[jim] Yes, the person first appeared in a book.,
Main character in a book?
Does the person's name appear in the title?
[Juxtapose] Yes, the person's name is in the book title.
[Software] Yes, the person is the main character in the book.
Was the book in question published prior to the year 1900?
[Juxtapose] The book was first pubished prior to 1900.
Was this person a mariner?
Does this person appear in more than one book?
By the way -- not as criticism, just as observation -- I would classify any fictional character (or place, or thing) as primarily abstract, with xxx connections as appropriate. Is that how others also think about these classifications?
[CdM] Research indicates that it was one book, published in two parts.
Is the person female?
[Juxtapose] The person is male.
British or Irish author?
[jim] Neither British or Irish author.
Originally written in English?
Oedipus?
[jim] Not originally written in English.
[GLogin] Not Oedipus.
Begins with P?
[CdM] I concur
[Tuj] Not beginning with "P".
The Count of Monte Cristo?
You missed Dujon's "mariner" question, by the way.
[Dujon] The person was not a mariner.
[CdM] Not "The Count of Monte Cristo"
Hercules?
Written before 1800?
[FGZstar] Not Hercules.
[INJ] Yes, written before 1800.
Written before 1700?
Original question, I know. Though irach did say "published in two parts", and we can't go too much further back before "published" stops being a meaningful concept.
[jim] Yes, both parts first came out in print prior to 1700.
Don Quixote?
Just a wild stab at a windmill in the dark...
[jim] The baton...or lance in this case is passed to you...Don Quixote it is! The books Part I, El Ingenioso Hidalgo don Quijote de la Mancha and its sequel were published for Cervantes ten years apart, in 1604 and 1614 by publisher Francisco de Robles. Incidentally, Don Quixote was one of the first bestseller books for which pirated editions soon appeared in the marketplace. The fact that I considered Don Quixote as being a little more immortal than just famous for being a fictional character (in response to CdM's question) is that the personality trait adjective "quixotic" has also been derived from his name.
Takes lance with extreme caution
Thank you, thank you. Another result of the first book's being so popular was a rash of what you might call "unofficial sequels", of rather poor quality. The second book was written in part as a response to these.
I hope it's not considered too much bad form to guess like that straight after having a question answered. Actually, I couldn't think of any two-part foreign language books of that sort of antiquity, and was about to guess the Bible, although certain that wasn't it, just to eliminate the possibility, when another candidate suddenly struck me.

Anyway, I am now thinking of an ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections. Game on.

Is the animal human?
'En un lugar de La Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero recordarme...' - I've always liked that as an opening line - it's the 'no quiero' that gives it its interest.
[Animal human] In one connection, specifically yes. In another connection, yes, but not specifically so. In a sense, specifically no.
Does the answer contain a verb?
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
[Contains a verb] No verb.
[Well known phrase] No. That is, the name of the thing is certainly well known, and you might make a case for its being a phrase or saying, but the thing itself is not one.
Minotaur?
[Minotaur] No.
Character in a book?
[Character] No.
Does the human animal connection refer to a specific individual?
[Individual] The "specifically human" connection is to a specific individual human, yes.
Begins with P?
Ends with Y?
[Tuj] Pno.
[Gusset] Noy.
A general reference to an unspecified constituent of a group (e.g. 'one of the mob', 'a club member')?
[General reference] No. There's a sense in which the AOTC could be said to refer to a group of closely related entities, but it would usually be considered as a single specific thing.
Is the answer a mythical creature?
[Mythical creature] No.
Does the name of the human connection appear on the card?
Is the specific human a man?
[Name on card] No.
[Male human] Yes.
A leader?
Does the vegetable connection refer to a specific vegetable (such as a single identified tree, for example)?
[Leader] The person in question could certainly be considered a leader, but if you mean to ask if he is principally known as the leader of some group, nation, army etc., the answer is no.
[Specific vegetable] No.
I should clarify that when I say that the name of the human does not appear on the card, I mean precisely that. It would not be unnatural to describe the thing in terms of the person, but the name of the thing as I am envisaging it on the card does not contain the person's name.
IS it relating to a specific type of vegetable?
Is the human fictional?
[Specific type of vegetable] No.
[Fictional human] No.
Was the human involved in the invention or creation of the thing?
Was this thing invented?
(rather than, say, discovered)
[Human involved] Yes. Some murmurs of appreciation from the crowd
[Invented] I'm not sure "invented" is the right word, but it was more invented than discovered, although there is a strong connection to discovery.
Is the vegetable connection in regards to its shape?
[Shaped like a vegetable] No.
(In the sense that the thing can be said to have a shape, which is debatable.)
Was it "invented" in the last century?
(assuming that question makes sense)
[Last century] It did not come into being during the 20th century.
Are we broadly in the realm of science?
[Science] Yes. Audience applauds
Is the science in question astronomy?
Mathematical?
Newton's Law of Gravity?
[Astronomy] No.
[Mathematics] No.
[What goes up...] Nope.
Medical-related?
Biological Evolution related (a la Darwin?)
[Medical] No.
[Biological evolution] Yes. Cheers from the audience
Natural Selection?
Family tree?
[Natural selection] No, but there is a very strong connection. Audience are on the edges of their seats
[Family tree] No. Audience sit back again
The book title, "On the Origin of Species"
Yes! It is the book "On the Origin of Species", or to give it its full title, "On the Origin of Species by means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life", only that wouldn't fit on the card. Charles Darwin, of course, being the specific named human (not actually named on the card, but could have been); Darwin tactfully refrained from directly addressing human evolution in the book, hence the "specifically non-human" connection. Not that the book wasn't controversial enough anyway. One naturally selected baton goes over to irach.
Holy Galapagos! By the beard of the land iguana! Me again? The next one is quite simply ANIMAL.
Human?
(oblig)
[INJ] Not human.
Skippy the bush kangaroo?
Mammalian?
[jim] Not the aforementioned marsupial, or any other kangaroo.
[GL] Not mammalian.
A fish?
A monotreme?
[GL]Not a fish.
[Dujon] Not a montreme.
A blue-footed booby?
A Bird?
[CdM} Not a booby- blue-footed, or otherwise.
[FGZstar] Not a bird.
An insect?
A reptile?
Begins with P?
Arachnid?
[CdM] Yes, an insect. Audience raises collective antennae attentively...
[GL] Not a reptile.
[Juxtapose] Not an arachnid.
Is it found in New Zealand?
Was it ever hidden in New Zealand?
Is it a beetle?
Because that would really narrow it down. Also, why are you avoiding Tuj's question?
[Tuj] Does not begin with "P".
Yes, it is found in New Zealand.
[all] Hmmm... I don't really know.
[CdM] It is not a beetle.... (Mark...Antennae, no Coleoptera).
A weta?
A form of Stonefly?
[Juxtapose] Not a weta.
[Dujon] Not a stonefly.
Is it poisonous/venomous?
[CdM] Yes, it is poisonous.
A Fire Ant?
[FGZstar] Not a fire ant.
By poisonous, do you mean as in it will poison you if eaten, as opposed to venomous where it will bite you and poison you
[FGZstar] It will poison one if eaten.
Is it endemic only to New Zealand, or is it found in other countries?
[FGZstar] It is also found in other countries.
Is it a caterpillar?
[FGZstar] In one stage of its being it is a caterpillar, yes.
Would this be a butterfly that holds its wings flat when at rest?
If Duj would happen to be wrong, would it be a moth, such as the Hawthorn Caterpillar's moth (can't remember the name)?
[Dujon] Not that I know of.
[FGZstar] Not a moth.
Do the words on the card describe a butterfly?
[CdM] The words on the card refer to a specific butterrfly.
Cabbage White?
I know few others
[Software] Not a Cabbage White.
Is it, broadly speaking, a commonly known butterfly (like, say, Red admiral), or is it sufficiently obscure that we still need to ask other questions to narrow it down?
[CdM] Very commonly known butterfly... (and remember the clue that this species is known to be poisonous if eaten).
Is it a Monarch butterfly?
(shamelessly taking advantage of my time zone to ask two questions in a row)
[CdM] Yes, a Monarch butterfly it is! Monarchs feed on milkweed and sequester the digitalis-like cardiac glycosides from the plant, rendering them poisonous to predators. The range of the species does now extend to New Zealand.

A baton worthy of a monarch, nay... a sceptre... passed on to CdM.
.
MINERAL
Uluru aka Ayers Rock?
Pluto?
Does it gush out of the sea bed in the Gulf of Mexico?
Red rock? No.
Dead rock? No.
Bed rock? No.
Any kind of rock?
Igneous, sedimentary, metamorphic, soft, hard, folk, sheet, soap, sham, def, red, 30, cradle will, black, picnic at hanging, school of, jailhouse? No.
Would I be correct in assuming then that it is metallic in composition?
Made by man?
Metallic? No.
Manmade? Yes.
My apologies. I am guilty of too cursory a reading of wikipedia. This is actually MINERAL and (probably) ANIMAL and/or (possibly) VEGETABLE.
A single specific thing?
Begins with P?
Single specific thing? In the sense I think you mean, the answer is No. The card does name some thing, but there is more than one instance of the thing named on the card. If you see what I mean.
Begins with P? Why, yes, yes it does. :-)
Can it be used for constructtion?
Can it be used for construction? *some audience laughter* It really depends what you mean by construction. Can you be more specific?
Plastic?
Judging from the audience laughter, I presume it may be used, for example, for constructing crafts or small objects rather than homes or edifices. Is this presumption correct? [e.g. construction of objects by children with "Plasticine" (which by the way is mainly mineral calcium salts mixed in with plant or animal derived aliphatic fatty acids such as stearic acid, and begins with a "P", and therefore actually fits the bill quite nicely for the object on the card.!)]
Play-doh?
[CdM] Why thanks, it's been a little while =)
And indeed Plasticene is the correct answer! (And I had planned to choose Play-Doh -- which is mineral and vegetable btw -- for my next chance at setting. Oh well.)

One soft and slightly misshapen baton, dirty brown in colour yet still showing traces of the other brighter colours it once comprised, passed to irach.
Once more into the breach... okay, the next one's essentially MINERAL.
Did you mean "Once more unto the beach?" If so, is it oil?
[Rosie] Not an oozing mineral.
Man made?
[G Login] Yes, man-made.
An object, fabricated with some mineral or other?
[Rosie] Yes, an object fabricated with mineral substances.
More than 50% metal?
BP's broken saw blade?
[G Login} Yes, mo than 50% metal.
[FGZstar] Not a BP saw blade.
Works with electricity?
[Rosie] Does not require electricity to operate, but has electrical connections on it.
A missile of some kind?
A generator?
I am thinking this because it doesn't need electricity to operate, rather that it generates it. Unless of course you are generalising with electricity meaning the notion of electricity. Or am I reading far too much into this?
[Dujon] Not a missile.
[FGZstar] It does not need electricity for its basic essential function for a good part of the day; the electrical needs of this object are secondary to its main purpose.
A dial or indicator on a car?
Are the electrical connections related to output from the unit? (e.g. Solar Panel, Thermal Spring . . . )
[Rosie] Not a dial or indicator.
[Dujon] Electrical connections are unrelated to the output from the unit. As indicated, the electrical connections are totally ancillary; not essential for the object on the card's proper functioning for a good part of the 24-hour day, and they are not what is generally thought of by one in connection with the object in question.
Battery operated?
[Software] Not battery operated.
(The game has become side-tracked by everyone focusing on the electrical component. While in response to Rosie's question, I had to answer that there are electrical connections involved with this essentially mineral object, those connections are not what would normally come to mind in relation to the words on the card).
Earth?
[G Login] No, not anywhere as large as Earth, and remember, the object is man-made.
Any plastic content?
[Software] No plastic content.
Bigger than a bread box?
An Oyster Card?
Well, it works on the electrical side of things....
Smaller than a phone box?
[jim] Considerably bigger than a bread box.
[FGZstar] Not an Oyster Card.
[G Login] Considerably larger than a phone box.
Does it move?
Big Ben?
{Software} Its primary purpose is not to move, but depending on environmental conditions it may indeed "move.
[Rosie] Not Big Ben, but inching closer.
A bridge?
Tower Bridge?
[jim] Yes, a bridge! (Audience breaks out humming, "Sur le pont..." in anticipation of someone bridging the remaining gap to the answer.)
[G Login] Not the Tower Bridge, though...
It sounds a bit wiered to me.
[Dujon] ("Wiered" I don't know about, but "wire" is definitely a hint.)
Located in the UK?
The Forth Rail Brige?
Well, it is apparently the 8th wonder of the world...
The Gateshead Millennium Bridge?
The wibbly-wobbly bridge, aka the London Millennium Bridge?
Ironbridge?
A suspension bridge?
[Juxtapose] Not in the UK.
[FGZstar] Not the Forth Rail Bridge.
[INJ] Not the Gateshead Millenium Bridge.
[jim] Not the wibbly-wobbly London Millenium Bridge.
[Software] Not Ironbridge
[INJ] Yes, a suspension bridge.
In the USA?
In Europe?
[jim] Yes, in the USA.
[INJ] As above, not in Europe.
Golden Gate Bridge?
[Juxtapose] Yes, The Golden Gate Bridge it is! The bridge does have electrical connections primarily for lighting, and while its primary purpose is not to move, it can move during severe weather conditions. During the winter storms in 1982, the main span bowed and swayed approximately 6 to 7 feet. The baton made up of intertwined wire cable is passed.
I shall have to stop switching rapidly between this and 'Where am I' since I had it in my head that we were in the UK - wrong game!
I am afraid I am a bit to blame for that one, sice I created the latter. What do you think of it, by the way?
Easily confused
[FGZstar] I was worried it would just be a copy of this game, but it has taken off at a bit of a tangent. I think there's room for both.
Okay, all, get ready to be stumped with a

VEGETABLE

.
Is it alive?
Is it edible?
Wood?
A Cucumber?
Tree stump?
A specific plant?
Found in UK?
A bail?
Wicket?
Found on a farm?
The Answers:
[Alive?] This could be debated, but I will say Yes.
[Edible?] No.
[Wood?] No.
[Cucumber?] No.
[Tree stump?] No.
[A specific plant?] Yes.
[Found in the UK?] No.
[A bail] No.
[Wicket?] No.
[Found on a farm?] No.
A specific individual plant?
A Member of the cactus family?
A very ancient tree?
Found in Africa?
Insectivorous?
More Answers:
[A specific individual plant?] No.
[A Member of the cactus family?] I don't believe so.
[A very ancient tree?] No.
[Found in Africa?] No.
[Insectivorous?] Not to my knowledge.
A tree?
Used as a symbol or emblem?
'This here's the Wattle, the emblem of our land
You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand
Kelp?
Begins with a P?
Better late than never
Mainly found in the tropics?
Is this a plant that, apart from its natural environment, is considered as a weed?
Les Réponses:
[A tree?] No.
[Used as a symbol or emblem?] I would call the answer emblematic, but as far as a nation's flag or team logo or something, No.
[Kelp?] No.
[Begins with a P?] YES.
[Mainly found in the tropics?] Mainly, no.
[Considered as a weed?] Certainly considered a nuisance.
Poison Ivy?
Primrose?
De Antwoorden:
[Poison Ivy?] No.
[Primrose?] No.
An aquatic plant such as pickerelweed?
A specie of thistle?
οι απαντήσεις:
[Aquatic?] No.
[A specie of thistle?] No.
A bush or shrub?
I thought irach had got it.
Pommegranite?
Coniferous?
Th' Ans'
[A bush or shrub?] No.
[Pom?] No.
[Coniferous?] No.
A type of grass?
BTW, when responding to 'Found in X' questions are you replying on the basis of 'native to' or 'at least 1 example grows there'?
Known for its flowers particularly?
FAQ
[A type of grass?] No.
[Known for its flowers particularly?] No.
[BTW] I have been trying to answer the questions as they've been asked. The VEGETABLE is not _mainly_ found in the tropics, and is _not_ aquatic. This may mean that at least one example may be found in tropical climes, but it means that it definitely does not grow under / in water. Is this what you meant?
Palm Tree?
Seed bearing? (as opposed to spore-bearing?)
Q&A
[Palm Tree?] No.
[Seed bearing?] Unknown. Applause from a single audience member who then wilts under the glares of the others
Nasty in some way such as prickly or poisonous?
Pipe-weed, a Middle-Earth plant, (smoked by hobbits with bad habits), as mentioned by JRR Tolkien ?
Does it have leaves?
Clarification on 'found in' is fine thank you
Answering Machine
[Nasty in some way?] Quite. A bit of laughter.
[Pipe-weed?] No. A lot of laughter, applause, and murmuring.
[Does it have leaves?] Yes.
Can it be smoked (and unlike Bill Clinton's claimed experience with a particular weed), actually inhaled?
A tobacco plant?
Ans her? I just met her!
[Can it be smoked?] No.
[A tobacco plant?] No.
Is any part of it edible?
Should we be paying attention to your aproposeses?
Does it "eat" insects?
Given that two of the last three questions have already been answered can we have a summary?
A dicotyledonous plant?
I apologize for the gap in answers, life has been a blur for the last two days.
Is it pineappleweed?
Pineapplweed
Is it a real, currently living plant?
Growing on the Earth, not extinct, not fictional (though that should be Abstract).
[Juxt] - Apology accepted, but you could have answered the outstanding questions at the same time.
Late Answers
Haste prevented me at the time. I have a terrible habit of remembering things only when I have no ability to address them.
[Is any part of it edible?] No.
[Should we be paying attention to your aproposeses?] I have attempted to relate accurately the reactions of the audience.
[Does it "eat" insects?] No.
[A dicotyledonous plant?] Unknown.
[Pineappleweed?] No.
[Is it a real, currently living plant?] No. As to category, I took my cue from Irach's latest outing - Fictional human, categorized simply as "Animal".
Summary
Vegetable. Alive by certain definitions, inedible, a specific plant, not found in the UK, not an individual plant, not a cactus, not an ancient tree, not found in Africa, not mainly found in the tropics, not aquatic, possibly an emblem, not a bush or shrub, not a thistle, not a type of grass, not known for it's flowers, definitely nasty, has leaves, cannot be smoked, not insectivorous, possibly a dicot, possibly seed-bearing, not a real, currently living plant, starts with P.
Not: wood, cucumber, a tree stump, bail, a wicket, kelp, poison ivy, primrose, pomegranate, a palm tree, pipe-weed, pinappleweed.
Found on earth?
Thanks for the summary
Hmm, irach got a bit of criticism for his categorisation at the time. But, then I don't claim to set the rules for this game.
Must be a ptrifid
But obviously isn't, i.e. I'm stuck.
Was this plant invented by JK Rowling?
Answers
[Found on earth?] No.
[ptrifid] Pno.
[Potter-ed plant?] No.
Phantom Fungus?
Is it from a book?
I have a horrible feeling that I'm not going to have heard of this one.
Is it from science fiction?
Aaaaaanswers.
[Phantom Fungus?] No.
[Is it from a book?] No.
[Is it from science fiction?] No.
Would this be a Paleozoic plant (e.g. a Progymnospermopsida)?
From a TV series?
Nswrs
[A a Paleozoic plant?] No.
[From a TV series?] The VEGETABLE has appeared in more than one tv series, but that is not the original source.
Puking tree of Mozambique?
Just clutching at straws now...
From a game of some sort?
Potato?
Getting warmer
[Puking tree of Mozambique?] No, but I wish I had picked that instead.
[From a game of some sort?] Yes!
[Potato?] No.
Pikmin?
I know nothing of Pikmin save the name, but it turned up on Wikipedia's list of fictional plants, so it's worth a try.
Piranha Plant?
See Jim's comment.
From "Plants vs Zombies"?
Fireworks
[Pikmin?] No, but an excellent guess
[Piranha Plant?] YES! Audience goes wild. The pipe-dwelling sharp-toothed menace from Super Mario Brothers. I'm sorry, but the baton appears to be in another castle. Please accept this 1-Up mushroom instead.
Well - never played the game, or seen anyone play it (actually I've never owned or held a games console, bizarre as that may seem to some people).

After that short interruption in services we restart with MINERAL with ANIMAL connections

A building?
[CdM] edifice? - NO
Means of transport
Mineral in its natural state?
[FGZstar] Lead balloon? - NO
[Rosie] Mineral in its natural state? - Hmm, I think the answer is YES, but I'm not sure what you mean by the question.
Metallic?
A fossilised material with embedded animal?
Made by man?
Fictional?
Mount Rushmore?
Where did that come from?
[FGZstar] - Metal? - NO
[Dujon] Fossil (with bits in)? - YES! (well, you could argue that it isn't a fossil and doesn't really have embedded animal - but that's being picky) (huge applause)
[GLogin] Man-made? - NO
[Juxtapose] - Invented? - NO - that would have been Abstract ;-)
[jim] Mt Rushmore? - NO
Crude petroleum ( "fossil" fuel) ?
[irach] Eau de Gulf? - NO (the audience is looking much more subdued)
A particular individual fossil?
[CdM] Individual fossil - YES (if you accept it's a fossil)
Begins with a "P"?
[pirach] The Tuj question? - There is at least one word begining with a 'P' on the card
A coal pit?
(Earlier question) I meant say, iron ore as opposed to stainless steel.
[Rosie] T'Pit? - Nay Lad - My answer to your earlier question stands, though it may be misleading.
Precambrian shale?
Does the answer include reference to a resinous preservative?
A geological feature?
The ruins of Pompeii?
Now on display at Fratton Park.
Homing in
[irach] Remnants of the pre-cambrian explosion? - NO
[Dujon] Resinous? - NO
[CdM] Rocky? - NO
[Rosie] Don't you think there's a bit more smoke than usual up there? - strictly speaking, NO, but the huge applause means that it's only fair to say that the word 'Pompeii' is on the card.
The Piltdown Man?
Pompeii and Herculaneum?
following Rosie's lead.
[FGZstar] You can't see the join? - NO
[Software] Pompeii and Herculaneum? - NO (the audience subsides)
An apology and correction
The response to Gusset Login's question some time ago - 'Made by Man?', should have been 'YES - to some extent'. I don't think it's actually put you much off the scent.
Pompeii ash?
Or the casts of the victims buried by Pompeii ash?
Nearly there
[irach] Put that cigarette out! - NO
[jim] Casts of victims - YES, but still needs a bit more precision
"Pompeii Plaster Casts" of victims
So close
[irach] You need to consider the answer to one of CdM's questions. If yours had been the words on the card I would have given the baton to jim.
The reconstruction of Pompeii and Herculaneum?
So we're talking a specific cast of a specific victim, then?
A plaster cast of a man-made object?
The man made plaster cast of the "Dog of Pompeii"?
To cut to the chase:
irach has it. It is The dog of Pompeii
I feel I lost the plot a bit there in that, although I knew when I set it that the object was a plaster cast of the natural void where the dog had been, I got that confused with a petrified object in some answers. Sorry.

A plaster cast of where a baton once was is passed on to irach.

Hot-diggity dog! Canis diggiti-calidae!. Me again? The next one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and some MINERAL connections.
Fictional?
The Adherence of the Repeated Meme?
[GLogin] Umm...hard one to answer...The entire phrase on the card is fictional in its overall abstract sense, but is based on a very real entity or phenomenon.
[FGZstar] No Meme. Not by a long shot.
Something to do with space travel?
A saying?
Single geographic location?
[Dujon] No space travel involved.
[Juxtapose] Yes, a saying.
[Software] Not a single geographic location.
Is the animal a domestic pet?
Raining cats and dogs?
[ImNotJohn] Definitely not a domestic pet, except to perhaps the most intrepid pet owner.
[Software] See above; therefore not feline and canine showers.
An Elephant in the room?
[FGZstar] No pachyderm involved, in the room, or otherwise.
Is the answer the title of some artistic work?
The cow jumped over the moon?
[CdM] No, not the Moo-na Lisa or any title of an artistic work.
[Rosie] A good guess, but no bovine-lunar connection here whatsoever.
Does the answer involve action, essentially?
Sneezing?
Is the animal an existing non-human species?
A Chinese proverb or an Aesop's Fable?
Is the animal, as it were, a fierce creature?
[Rosie] There is a verb signifying an action of some sort on the card.
[Dujon] Not sneezing.
[CdM] Yes, an existing non-human species.
[FGZstar] Not a Chiness proverb or Aesop's fable.
[jim] The reputation of the animal in question is definitrly fierce and/or scary.
Is the animal a member of the cat family?
Is the animal doing something that it would habitually do in the wild?
The lion was not so much fierce as was painted.
[Juxtapose] Not a feline.
[Gusset Login] In the literal sense, yes, doing what it does in the wild; in the abstract sense, not really.
[FGZstar] Not leonine.
Is it a mammal?
Live with wolves, and you learn to howl?
Does 'cooling the blood' come to mind?
[jim] Not a mammal.
[FGZstar] See above answer, therefore no. No Mowgli, or any dancing wth wolves.
[Dujon] Nothing involving an subtantial "cooling the blood" as far as I am aware.
Is the animal a shark?
[CdM] Not a shark.
Crying crocodile tears?
A Fish out of Water?
Is the animal an insect?
[GussetLogin] Not piscine.
[CdM] Not an insect.
[ImNotJohn] You got it! The exact words on the card! "Crying crocodile tears" it is! The crocodile baiting hook is passed.
Coo - me again!
Well, I was going to edge myself towards it, but I decided just to have a stab.
This one is simply Animal
Human?
[Software] Human? - YES - (I have awarded myself points for guessing the first question - and what do points mean?)
Alive?
Get the obvious ones out of the way...
Topical?
Points are measures of cider in Somerset, according to Jack Dee half an hour ago.
An association with football?
Raol Moat?
Female?
Younger than thirty?
[jim] Still with us? - NO
[Rosie] In the news? - NO, not particularly
[irach] Football Association? - NO
[FGZstar] Relate's man of the year? - NO
[CdM] Distaff? - NO
[Juxtapose] U30? - YES for 29 years and 364 days, then NO.
An author?
[irach] Author! Author!? - NO (he did have published and even prizewinning works, but that's not what you would know him for)
A clue!!
Aha! So his 30th birthday did not occur in the last ten months of a leapyear, or in the two following months!
Politician?
I knew I should have checked that
I was in a hurry, OK? However, the answer to Juxtapose, should have been 'YES for 29 years and 365 days, then NO'
[Projoy] Politician? - NO
An artist?
Nobel prize winner?
Albert Einstein?
[Rosie] Arty-farty? - NO
[Software] Up there with Kissinger? - NO
[FGZstar] Mrs Einstein's relative? - NO
Scientist and/or engineer?
[irach] Practical type? - NO
Born prior to 1850?
Disraeli?
[CdM] pre-1850 - NO
[SM] Dizzy? - NO
That's 9 NOs in a row, let's go for double figures.
Composer?
Political figure?
And on we go
[Rosie] Composer? - NO
[irach] Politician - NO (except in the very vaguest of senses - never elected, never held any political office)
Alfred Wainwright?
(Although I think you would have called him an author. He does fit the leapyear criterion, though!)
[CdM] The late great AW? - NO
Begins With a P?
Someone known for one particular feat?
Aww! You've spoiled it
[FGZstar] aka Tuj? - There is a word beginning with 'P' on the card (but you could get the answer without knowing that)
[CdM] One-hit-wonder? - YES (I'm sure he'd disagree, but history is cruel)
Royalty?
[FGZstar] Royalty? - NO *a little stirring in the audience*
The Artist Formerly Called Prince?
[Software] Tafkap? - NO
A religious figure?
[Irach] God-botherer (or god)? - NO *sounds of snoring from the audience*
A musician?
Nobility?
A sporting personality?
Progress
[FGZstar] Music Man? - NO
[GLogin] Nobility? - YES (well aristocracy, at any rate)
[CdM] Sporting Personality? - YES *a few exchanges of glances in the audience mixed with applause*
Pele?
[FGZstar] Senhor do Nascimiento (etc.)? - NO
Died in or around Munich?
British?
[FGZstar] Died in Munich? - NO
[irach] True Brit? - NO
The Nawab of Pataudi?
[Software] The Noob? - NO
To clarify: the audience reaction to the 'Sporting Personality' question needs to be borne in mind. I wasn't sure whether to answer yes or no to that question. Pele and the Nawab of Pataudi would definitely be Sporting Personalities.
Died within the last 20 years?
[FGZstar] Still warm? - NO
Died within the last 50 years?
[FGZstar] Died in last 50 years? - NO
A chess player?
American?
Percy McDonnell, or a Cricketer at least?
Under fifty years old at the time of death?
[CdM] Chess player? - NO, mate.
[irach] Yank? - NO
[FGZstar] Any of several thousand cricketers with a 'P' somewhere in the name? - NO (remember I said you wouldn't need the 'P' to get the answer - since I'm not going to insist you match the words on the card exactly)
[Juxtapose] Died young? - NO
A small clue in the form of a clarification: if CdM's question had been 'Sportsman?', the answer would have been 'NO'.
A sports commentator (in either a broad or narrow sense of the term)?
[CdM] Bill McLaren etc? NO (He would probably have said YES in the very broadest sense, but that's not why he's known)
A member of some sort of sporting organisational body, possibly the president?
Warming up
[FGZstar] Member/President of sporting organisation? - YES *Applause* You could quibble with the exact description but it's absolutely in the right area.
President of a sporting organisation?
Founder of some sporting organization?
Pierre de Coubertin?
[Rosie] Nice guess. I think you're right. At least it does seem to fit all the answers.
[Rosie] Correct! the words on the card are Pierre Frédy, Baron de Coubertin

One baton in the shape of a laurel wreath passed on.

Bit of a lurker's easy victory, given the clues. It had to be Coubertin, or possibly Jules Rimet.

Right - this one is essentially ABSTRACT.

Fictional?
(FGZStar) - NO, not fictional.
A scientific concept?
Artistic connection?
Yes, I thought it was pretty clear after FGZstar's key question. Interesting how difficult it was to home in on the area of importance.
Can you touch it?
I'm not saying anything. Whilst I concede that Rosie stated it first, I still must admit that I dislike the lurker's victory. No hard feelings, however, as I was convinced that the person in question had died within the last 50 years. I really must pay attention to the answers provided to my questions. I was thinking that it was a later president, anyway.
(CdM) - A scientific concept? - Hmm, the description is, but strictly NO. Nevertheless *cheers and applause from the audience*.
(FGZStar) - Tangible? YES, very much so, Gary.
It's normal to make some acknowledgement of a lurker's victory. The problem this time was that people were asking the questions before I had a chance to do so myself.
Electronic, possibly some form of microprocessor?
Is the thing that can be touched animal, vegetable or mineral?
Just trying to clarify the mysterious abstract but tangible.

It wasn't remotely a lurker's victory. Rosie had asked three prior questions in the round -- and even if he hadn't, he's a regular in the game, and the odd lurker's victory by a regular is no big deal. It's in the nature of AVMA that sometimes (probably most of the time) one person does the heavy lifting and opens up the answer for someone else.
Could this relate to silk cloth and glass rods?
(FGZstar) - NO, not electronic.
(CdM) - YES, one of the three, and most familiarly all three. The word on the card is Abstract in essence but can have a physical manifestation. Thanks for the endorsement, BTW.
(Dujon) (aside) He speaks in riddles. The answer is NO anyway.
Is the thing the sense of touch itself, as in the sense, which is tangible because it only exists when touching something?
(FGZstar) - NO, not the sense of touch.
Does the answer on the card contain a verb?
Air?
(Juxtapose) Contains a verb? - NO. Two words + the indefinite article.
(FGZstar) - NO, not air.
A printed document?
It's not another saying, is it?
(Software) - "Thank you for shopping at the Co-op"? - NO, not a document.
(FGZstar) - A saying? NO, not this time.
Does this have both a metphorical and literal meaning?
(CdM) Both metaphorical and literal? - NO, literal only.
Is it related to a physical phenomenon?
(INJ) - Related to a physical phenomenon? - In one particular case, YES, but otherwise the general answer would be NO. *some polite applause from certain members of the audience*.
Related to a specific emotion?
Would this, Rosie, describe some possible future event?
(Juxtapose) - NO, nothing to do with emotions. The abstract nature of the answer is of a completely different sort.
(Duj) - NO, not to do with the future.
Present in everyday life?
A naturally occurring phenomenon?
Essentially ephemeral?
(FGZstar) - Present in everyday life? In one sense, YES, but more realistically, well not really.
(CdM) A naturally occuring phenomenon? Well, not really a phenomenon but an otherwise honest answer is YES. *some vigorous applause*
(INJ) Ephemeral? Not really applicable but in some cases most certainly NO.

Then answer is one example of an abstract property of a material or imaginary object.

Affecting the colour or shape of the object?
(FGZstar) - Colour or shape of an object? YES. *vigorous applause*
A fuzzy navel?
(FGZstar) - Big Boy's Belly Button? Not really. Not at all, in fact.
Is it something that most people here will have experienced in some way?
Is it specifically just to do with colour?
A black look?
(CdM) - Experienced by the average Morniverser? - Mmm, difficult, that. You don't really experience it, but another answer could be YES.
(INJ) Specifically to do with colour? - NO.
(Softers) - If looks could kill - NO.
Specifically just to do with shape?
(FGZstar) - Just to do with shape? - YES. *Huge applause*
A square peg?
(irach) - Square peg - NO, nor even square.
A convex slope?
The fellwalker's curse.
A round belly?
A black hole?
Making the rounds?
A sharp edge?
A love triangle?
(INJ) - Can't see where I'm going? - NO.
(FGZstar) - Fat bastard? - NO.
(Softers) - The gateway to oblivion? - NO.
(irach) - "And how are we today?" - NO. (Not metaphorical).
(INJ) - Honed to perfection?- NO.
(all) - Equilateral promiscuity? - NO.

The answer is simply a shape, with no specific object implied, though one particular object strongly suggests itself.

A perfect circle, or a perfect square?
(FGZstar) - Circle or square? - NO
Is this some sort of crystaline structure?
(Dujon) - A crystalline structure? - NO.
Is the shape in question 2dimensional?
An oblate spheroid?
Diamond shaped?
(FGZstar and irach) - NO, because CdM has it. Well done. It's an oblate spheroid, a sphere that's fat round the middle. The obvious example is the earth, but any planet really, because they all rotate.
I hand the angular momentum to CdM.
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and (perhaps) MINERAL connections
Starts with P?
P-begun? No.
Is the vegetable component a fabric?
Darwin's Origin of the Species?
Whole cloth? No.
Talking about an evolution? No.
A theory or hypothesis?
Theory or hypothesis? No.
Is the vegetable component usually a carrot?
Carrot? No. *audience laughter*
Phrase or saying?
Phrase or saying? No (technically I suppose the words on the card are a phrase, but not in the sense I understand you to mean).
A book?
Is the animal connection human?
An activity or event?
[FGZstar] I did the Origin of Species about 10 clues back...
Literary? No.
Oh, the humanity!? No.
Doing something? No.
Are the animal and vegetable elements edible?
Animal and vegetable elements edible? Yes. *some applause, mainly because the audience was getting bored*
A recipe?
A recipe? No.
Is the edibility of these elements important to the words on the card?
In other words it's not just happenstance.
The importance of being Edible? Yes *applause*
A knuckle sandwich?
Meat and two veg?
A square meal?
Mineral salt?
a TV dinner?
What, fisticuffs? No.
Filet mignon a la Bearnaise, mousseline d'asperges and chips?* No.
Pavé de boeuf? No. *some audience laughter*
See how they run? No.
Masterchef? No.

*Which is a reprise of the answer I gave last time someone tried that guess in an AVMA I was setting
A snack?
A 3 course meal, or 4 square meals a day?
Is the answer a description of a meal?
A nutritional concept?
Does it relate to a diet?
Afternoon elevenses? No.
Aperitif, main course, digestif OR breakfast, lunch, dinner, another dinner? No.
Mealy? No.
Nutritional? No.
Weight watchers? No. *laughter*
Just to clarify - my previous question was not restricted to a weight-loss diet.
A fat chance?
Does it relate to production rather than consumption, i.e. agriculture etc.?
Obesity?
Diet of worms? Still No.
Fluffy dice? No.
Production rather than consumption? It doesn't particularly relate to either. It doesn't have any connection to agriculture.
Obesity? No.

I think you need to ask more questions. You are going down some very specific lines of guessing based on very little information. So far, just to reprise, the only useful positive information you have is that the animal and vegetable connections refer to something that is edible (and that the edibility is relevant rather than incidental).
A figurative meaning?
Figurative? I think the expression on the card may occasionally be used in a figurative sense, but the best answer is No.
Any literary or artistic connections?
Arty? No significant literary or artistic connections that I am aware of.
I'm trying to think of a clue. One route to the answer is certainly by trying to find out more about the edible connection. In another sense, though, this idea is broader -- I could have specified essentially the same idea without any necessary reference to food at all.
"To live off the fat of the land"?
Fatland? No. Pretty clearly figurative, that.
Would the edible part be offensive in any way to either Jews or Muslims?
Not koshalal? No.
Is the aminal/vegetable connection a concoction of some kind (e.g. 'Toad in the Hole' or 'Haggis')?
Concoted? The AV connection is a prepared foodstuff of some kind, yes. *some scattered amused applause*
s/concoted/concocted. Also, by "foodstuff" I do not mean to imply a single ingredient (obviously enough, since there are both animal and vegetable connections).
To do with greed?
Is the foodstuff heavily processed?
Greed-related? You could perhaps make a connection but the best answer has to be No.
Heavily processed? Well, ingredients are combined and then cooked in a certain way. If that counts as heavily processed, yes. The ingredients themselves are also for the most part processed to some degree.
*retires for the nonent*
I love aminals
Does the answer describe a type of behaviour?
Spam?
Type of behaviour? No.
Spam? No
Curry related?
Vindaloo? No.
Do the words on the card describe an item?
An item? I suppose the answer is Yes, though "item" seems a slightly odd word in this context, given that the words on the card are describing something abstract.
By the way, as a follow-up to Rosie's question a while back, googling the phrase on the card does turn up one figurative use, and there may be others. But the one that shows up on a google search is pretty arcane (I'd never heard of it, and I would have been more likely to have come across it than most people here). So I don't think hunting for the figurative use will get you anywhere.
Eh?
Eh? No.
Anything to do with linguistics?
Linguisticky? No.
(I don't think this one is inherently terribly difficult. It's just no one has yet come up with a question that unlocks it in any real way. And no, that's not a clue.)
Any connection with politics /public affairs?
Connection with politics? No. (Actually, the figurative meaning that I alluded to earlier is associated with a particular public policy question/debate, but as I said, I really can't imagine that will help you.)
Can this be used to help people in everyday life?
Useful? No.
Any connection with economics?
Connected to economics? No.
Is it lickable wallpaper?
Lickable wallpaper? Nope. Not abstract enough.
When I was originally thinking of setting this I wanted to describe it simply as "this has animal, vegetable and mineral connections". Then I descided that it was still technically abstract.
Is colour involved?
Colour? No.
Is the food a dessert?
Progress!
Dessert? Not usually a dessert as such, but (almost always) sweet rather than savoury.
Food Pills?
Cake?
Food pills? No.
Cake? No (but a *smattering of applause*)
A sweet tooth?
Sweet tooth? No.
Brioche?
I'm sure I've seen an episode of QI in which Stephen Fry said that Marie Antoinette actually said "Let them eat Brioche, and so I wonder if that is the thing you are referring to?
Brioche? No. *another smattering of applause*. A reminder that the words on the card refer to something abstract, however.
As for let them eat brioche, I have seen that too. However, I actually ended up researching* that story recently, and discovered that historians think it unlikely that Marie Antionette actually said anything of the sort.

*Wikipedia
A croissant?
I did see something about a mathematical formula for a croissant shaped tissue expander, and thought it could maybe be that.
Croissant? No . *the smatterers provide another smatter, but more out of habit than anything else*
Pain Au Chocolat?
Pain au chocolat? No. *smatter*
breakfast?
Any type of pastry?
Is the shape of the foodstuff significant?
Breakfast? No, though this is frequently a breakfast foodstuff.
A pastry? Not technically, but sort of in the same space.
Significantly shaped? Yes! *the audience leaps to their feet and gives a relieved standing ovation*
Doughnuts?
Mmmm... Donuts....
The word doughnut appears on the card, yes. But remember you are looking for something abstract. *applause*
The hole in a doughnut
OK then!
Excuse the double post - but I left it nearly an hour
Phew!
The hole in a doughnut is correct! One baton bent into a circle and joined at the ends passed on. Not sure why that one took so long...
OK - I think it was to do with the abstractness of the answer which nevertheless had to be defined purely in terms of the non-abstract 'frame' (so to speak).
Anyway, having dealt with that without licking my lips I give you:
primarily VEGETABLE with Animal and Abstract connections
A turnip shaped like a thingy?
Any artistic connection?
[jim] Turnip for the books? - NO (Funny you should say that, because I've got....)
[CdM] Artistic connection? - YES *Sharp intakes of breath amongst the audience*
Made of wood?
Tracy Emin's bed?
Unique?
Decorative?
A form of pigment (e.g. paint)?
A lovely bunch of coconuts?
[Raak] Ligneous? - NO
FGZstar - Open to all-comers? - NO
[CdM] One is one? - YES
[Rosie] Ooh innit nice? - NO
[Dujon] Hogment? - NO
See them all a-standin in a row? - NO
Floral?
[Phil] Bloomin lovely? - NO
[flerdle] - sorry, didn't mean to miss your name off - have a clue as an apology:
I could have described it as Animal, Vegetable and Mineral with Abstract connections but thought the actual definition I used was more helpful.
Made of some sort of vegetable fibre?
A sculpture of someone made from vegetables?
Or the annoying orange?
[Raak] High-fibre? - YES
[FGZstar] Oh, you mean the sculpture is made from vegetables - NO
[ditto] Sarky seville? - NO (don't really understand the question, but I'm sure of the answer)
Fictional?
[jim] Made-up? NO (I'm one of those pedants who would call a fictional object 'Abstract')
Paper based product?
[Software] Papery? - NO
Clothing of some kind involved?
Are copies of the item available for purchase?
The 2012 Olympic Mascot?
Found in most households?
[FGZstar] clothing? Hmmm. I think I'm going to answer NO, but I could easily justify YES as well.
[CdM] Have you got that in pink plastic with fairy lights? - YES
[FGZstar] The Olymprick? - NO
[Phil] Domestic normality? - NO *some chuckles in the audience*
Is it worn for ornamental purposes?
[Raak] Prettifying? - NO *some more chuckles in the audience*
In case I didn't make it clear, the audience found my answer to CdM's first question controversial - some of you may think the same.
Used for recreational purposes?
[Phil] Plaything? - NO *audience etc.*
Is it larger than a telephone-box-sized representation of a toaster?
[CdM] Will he stop talking if I press this lever? - YES, Probably and NO
Made of cotton?
(CdM, INJ) I've told you two boys......
Are the copies the same size as the original?
Rosie] Really reely? - NO
[Raak] Life-size copies? - NO (in the vast majority of cases at any rate)
A building of some kind?
Should your answer to my previous question be interpreted as three answers, one for each dimension?
[FGZstar] A (very small) building? - NO?
[CdM] 3D? - YES (greater in 1 dimension, about the same in the 2nd and less in the 3rd)
(That's than a telephone box not a toaster.)
Is it foldable?
Is it rigid?
[CdM] Pliable? - YES *the audience is looking interested*
[jim] Board stiff? - NO
Is it a tapestry?
[Software] Gobelinish? - NO *a little ripple*
Closing in
I think this may now well be guessable from the information you have.
A rug, possibly sheepskin or shagpile?
Or a red carpet?
[FGZstar] Not any sort of floor covering.
Curtains, or maybe padded silk wallpaper?
It's all there, you know
[FGZstar] Decor? - NO
Check out CdM's first 2 questions again
Some form of designer Jute bag?
[FGZstar] Bagette? - NO (Not exactly unique)
Did the earlier audience reaction indicate that some would view this as a work of art but others would disagree?
[CdM] Yes, but is it art? - YES (and not on aesthetic grounds)
Tie Dye?
[FGZstar] Aging Hippie stuff? - NO *faint snoring heard from audience*
Has it been in a museum/gallery?
Is the colour(?) of this black?
Is this item located in Europe?
[Phil] In a museum/gallery? - YES (to a fairly broad interpretation of the words - it has been on public display.)
[Dujon] Black? - NO
[CdM] In Europe? - YES
I'll clarify my answer to Phil's question. To my (or wikipedia's) knowledge it has never been in a museum or art (or other) gallery. However it has on occasions been on public display in a dedicated space.
Is there writing on it?
[jim] Written on? - NO (actually there are claims that there is some writing on it, but I didn't know that when I set it - it's certainly not what you would think of).
Is there a religious significance to the item?
Aha!
[Phil] Imaginary friends? - YES *Prolonged and relieved applause from the audience*
The Shroud of Turin?
And the winner is...
[irach] You got it. The Shroud of Turin it is!

One slightly singed baton passed on.

[ImNotJohn] Thanks, but I am going to busy and away on business the next couple of days, so I'd like to pass the baton on in turn to Phil, who I really think was on to "The Shroud of Turin" as well with his question pertaining to the "religious significance" of the words on the card. So, Phil, it's all yours...
Ow!
*kicks self*
...third attempt to post without being interrupted
[irach] You really are too generous. I wasn't THAT close to the shroud, but I did have a feeling it was some kind of religious artefact. Given your unavailability and kid offer, I will gladly take up the baton on your behalf, for the first time in absolutely yonks!
Right, let's go for MINERAL, sometimes with a little vegetable
Is the vegetable wood?
Any precious minerals?
[Raak] Wood? YES, but not exclusively
[FGZstar] Precious minerals? NO
A naturally occuring substance?
A manufactured object?
Is the vegetable unintentional?
A geographical feature?
[Dujon] Natural? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? YES
[Gusset] Accidental vegetable? NO
[INJ] Geographical feature? NO
Some form of building?
Maybe a skyscraper such as the empire stste building?
Bigger than a 4-slice toaster?
[FGZ] A building? NO *some interest from the audience*
[INJ] bigger than 4 slice toaster? YES, in all 3 dimensions
Is it a unique object?
A statue or Sculpture?
Maybe lady liberty?
A garden object?
Made of stone?
Is it primarily functional?
[jim] Unique? NO
[FGZ] Statue? NO
[Rosie] Garden object? NO
[GL] Primarily functional? YES *a tiny suggestion of applause*
Can you pick it up with one hand?
A signal of some kind?
Begins with a P?
[Raak] Pickupable-onehandedly? NO *giggles from audience*
[FGZ] Signal? NO
[Tuj] P...... ? NO
Made of concrete?
(Also, you missed INJ's related question.)
A steam locomotive?
[Rosie] I think that's what the psychiatrists call "transference".
Apols to [INJ] Made of stone? NO
[CdM] Made of concrete? YES *applause*
[Rosie] A steam loco? NO. alas
Unique?
Can a person go inside?
[Software] You think all but one have been destroyed since Jim asked?
Some other form of structure?
Such as a bridge?
Normally seen in groups?
(Rather than being used singly)
Usually found outside?
A concrete bollard?
[CdM] doh!
[Software] Still unique? NO
[CdM] Can a person go inside? YES *some applause mixed with mutterings from the audience*
[FGZ] Other form of structure? YES *same mix of sounds from the audience again*
[INJ] Seen in groups? NO
[GL] Usually outside? YES *gentle applause*
[Software again] Bollards? NO
Does it have an industrial purpose?
A shelter of some kind?
(CdM) Transference? Of course. But up to that point it fitted. :-)
A shed or barn of sorts?
[INJ] Industrial? NO
[Rosie] Shelter? NO
[irach] Shed/barn? NO
About the same size as phone booth?
A bridge?
Possibly tower bridge?
[irach] Phone booth sized? NO
[FGZ] Bridge? NO
A tunnel?
[Rosie] A tunnel? NO, but a tunnel might be incorporated.
A sewer?
A tube station?
Possibly the one that must not be mentioned as it would cause a game end sequence?
[GL] A sewer? NO
[FGZ] Tube station? NO *audience starts to lose interest*
A highway or rail route?
[irach] high- or rail-way? NO
Time for a summary, methinks.
The words on the card relate to something that is Mineral, often with a little vegetable
Positives established are:
  • The vegetable portion is wood
  • It is manufactured
  • bigger than a 4-slice toaster in all 3 dimensions
  • primarily functional
  • made of concrete
  • A person can "go inside"
  • some other kind of "structure" (other than building or statue/sculpture)
  • Usually outside

Negatives established are:
No precious minerals; not naturally occurring; no accidental vegetable material; not a geographical feature; not a building, not unique; not a garden object; not made of stone; can't be picked up in one hand; not a signal; doesn't start with P; not a steam locomotive; not seen in groups; not a bollard; not industrial; not a shed/barn; not a shelter; not phone-box-sized; not a bridge; not a tunnel per se (but may incorporate a tunnel); not a sewer; not a tube station; not a highway nor a railway.

The audience were appreciative of it being outdoors, primarily functional and made of concrete. They were given to debate amongst themselves as to whether a person could go inside, or whether it was a form of structure. I am, however, confident of saying YES to both of these.

A subway?
Some form of outdoor furniture?
Possibly a bench or picnic table?
[Raak] Subway? NO (MAY incorporate a tunnel, but not in the majority of cases)
[FGZstar] Outdoor furniture? NO (a person can go inside?)
A dam?
A cooling tower?
Any military connection?
[FGZstar] A dam? NO (it's not industrial)
[GL] Cooling tower? NO (ditto)
[INJ] Military? NO
Would a person normally go inside it?
[jim] Hmmm...*reconsults dictionary*
Hidden textinside (n): on the inner side or part of; within

Would a person normally go inside it? YES is the potentially misleading, but correct, answer.
Agricultural?
Not sure if it would count as industrial, so a grain silo?
A concrete overcoat?
Were these things ever made before the 20th century?
When you are 'inside' it, is there a roof over your head?
A cellar?
Concrete Boots?
[FGZstar] Agricultural? NO
[GL] Concrete overcoat? NO
[Raak] Made before 20th century? NO *Audience re-awakens*
[INJ] "inside" = "indoors"? NO *applause*
[Rosie] Cellar? NO
[FGZstar] Concrete boots? NO
A sports stadium?
Would this be found in a Winter Olympics competition?
A wall of some sort?
[Rosie] Sports stadium? Using Wordnet's definition
Hidden texta large structure for open-air sports or entertainments
 YES (other dictionaries would lead to "NO, not strictly" being the answer) *Best applause yet!*
[Dujon] Winter Olympics? NO
[Raak] A wall? NO
Half pipe?
As in skateboarding
[GL] A half-pipe? NO *rapturous and enthusiastic applause in anticipation of an early conclusion*
A sewer?
A skate park?
Blatantly taking off Gusset Login's guess, here.
[Software] A sewer? Hmmmm...that's still a NO, as nothing has changed since Saturday :-)

[jim] We have a winner! - a skatepark (or skate park) it is!

Hidden textI got a skateboard for my birthday, which I'm calling a midlife crisis on a budget. I used to be quite handy on a skateboard in the late 70s, but kick-flips, ollies etc hadn't been invented then

So, one baton with its jeans hanging off passed on to jim
[Phil] Just a quick query - why is that concrete and wood? The one I know best is all metal - I suppose the wood could be the boards.....
[INJ] Metal skatepark...hmmm I've not come across one. All the ones I know are concrete, with the odd wooden ramp thrown in for old-times' sake (plus some trees and fencing). I've now done some further searching and found that you are right. I was working mainly from a quote from a skateboarding magazine that concrete is the industry standard these days. My apologies if that threw people completely off the scent.
Ooh, is it me? OK, I am thinking of a ABSTRACT, with animal, vegetable and mineral connections.
Animal connection human?
Fictional?
Related to the arts?
[Humanimal] Yes.
[Pulp fiction] No.
[Arty farty] You could say so, but in the way "The Arts" is generally understood, the answer is no.
A published work?
A human construct?
(oblig)
A geographical feature?
[Crime and publishment] No.
[Constructive] Yes.
[Geomantic] No.
A phlosophical idea/concept/construct?
Related to any form of government?
The pledge of allegiance?
[Eeeeeeeeeeemannuel Kant...] Nope.
[Governmental] No.
An engineering design of some kind?
Related to the sciences?
A phrase or saying?
[Engine ears] No.
[Scientism] In the same way as it's related to the arts, i.e. not really.
[Rearrange the following...] No.
Is the animal connection a single specific human?
A concept?
[Singularity] Nope.
[Conceptuality] No.
Is this an action?
[Action this] Not an action as such, although there is a particular activity involved.
Waterskiing?
[Waterskiing] Nope. Firefox doesn't even think it's a word.
A deliberate 'no ball' in a game of cricket?
Sorry, sorry, I'll go away now.
Some kind of sport involved?
[Duj] Please stay, daft guesses keep the game running.
[Goebbels] Nope.
[Sporty] Not unless you're using a broad definition of "sport".
A certain type of position?
Does the action mentioned involve large numbers simultaneously?
Connected with human interactions?
[Assume the position] No.
[Large numbers] If "large numbers" means what I think it means, then yes.
[Interactivity] Yes, human interactions are involved.
Some signs of interest from the audience, mainly due to finally getting a couple of affirmatives
A flash mob, or maybe a mexican wave?
Would this be a board game?
The Glastonbury Festival?
I think that's its proper title.
A historical event (or series of events)?
[Flash ... AAAH!] No.
[Bored game] No.
[Festival of Mud] No, but you're getting warmer.
[Hysterical event] No. Well ... no.
Some members of the audience are nudging others awake
Some form of festival?
Woodstock?
[Festivities] Yes. Audience applause
Edinburgh Festival?
A Music Festival?#
The Edinburgh Fringe?
Related to food or drink?
[Auld Reekie] Nope.
[The sound of...] No, although there is music involved.
[Fringey] No.
[Alimentary, my dear...] Yes. Audience applause
The GBBF?
[GBBF] YES! Audience goes wild. The Great British Beer Festival it is! One slightly sticky baton passes to INJ.
Well, that's what my previous question had had in mind, so I don't feel too guilty about asking 2 questions in a row - and I did leave over an hour between guesses.

So the next one is ABSTRACT with Animal Connections

Does animal = human?
[FGZstar] Human animal? - YES, mostly.
Fictional?
[GL] Tall tales? - YES
A traditional tale such as Little Red Riding Hood?
Well this is going well
[Rosie] Once apon a time? - YES (with slight reservations)
A Hans Christian Anderson story?
Aaah, you've spoiled it.
[FGZstar] Danish and Scandinavian books? - NO
On a religious theme?
[Raak] God-bothering? - NO is easily the best answer
Made into a Walt Disney film?
Made into a non-disney animated film?
Related to knights in shining armour?
Aesop's Fables?
[FGZstar] Walt disnae? - NO
[GL] Other animated film? - NO *some murmuring in the audience*
[Duj] Tin Men? - NO
[Rosie] Aesop? - NO *a small ripple of applause*
The audience is definitely awake after that series of questions.
La Fontaine?
[Raak] The Urinal? - NO
Was this tale known in antiquity (say, BC anywhere)?
[Raak] BCE story? - NO, on current evidence.
Babes in the wood?
[FGZstar] Pre-freudian paedophilia? - NO
Anthropomorphised animal(s)?
[Rosie] Bunnykins etc.? - NO
Greek connection?
One of the canterbury tales?
[Phil] Attic? - NO
[FGZstar] Chaucerian? - NO
Collected by the Grimms?
[Raak] Eeh it's Grimm? - NO *the audience is settling down again for a long haul*
The Chronicles of Narnia?
Is the human part of the animal part a part of a partitioned animal (in the sense, say, of a centaur)?
The boy who cried wolf?
Going off at a tangent
[FGZstar] Religious metaphors? - NO
[Dujon] Part man, part ....? - NO (If I hadn't done some research, I would just have answered 'YES' to the 'Human?' question - so it's probably not a helpful angle)
[GL] Serial false alarms? - NO
Both animals and humans in the story?
[FGZstar] Animals & Humans? - Animals are not significant in the answer
Attempting to adjust orbit:
Something to do with 'artificial intelligence'?
Good thought, but actually getting colder
[Dujon] AI? - NO
A porky pie?
[Software] Coo, what a whopper? - NO (Well, it's fiction, but I assume that isn't what you meant)
A clue: There is one word on the card with no article.
Related to a television program?
[Juxtapose] Boxy? - NO *a few chuckles in the audience*
Is the answer on the card the name of a mythical/legendary/fictional 'person'?
Well, it's been a bit quiet in here of late.
I thought you'd all gone to sleep
[Dujon] Mythical Person? - YES *the applause from some of the audience wakes the rest*
Rumplestiltskin
Shrek?
[FGZstar] I'll guess that name in 3? - NO
[Software] Schrecklich? - NO
None of the guesses have really been in quite the right genre, although you've got close to identifying it a couple of times
Magical in some way?
[FGZstar] Just like that!? - NO *A very few audience members purse their lips*
Is this word also the title of a book?
[Dujon] Eponymity? - NO
Blair?
Which, you may ask.
[Software] Journeyman? - NO
You really don't know enough to be guessing actual names/answers. I'll try to think of a hint.
You don't know language/culture, location, author, time set/written/drawn/sung, symbolic importance, etc. - some of these would help (but possibly not all)
Written by a british author?
Start with the hard one, why don't you?
[FGZstar] British author? - Tricky one. I don't know. YESish is probably the best answer, but if there was a single author it's doubtful if they would have considered themself British.
An Anthology of short stories?
[FGZstar] Short stories? - NO (technically the person does appear in a collection of stories, most of which are short, but yes would lead you wildly off-track)
I'm going to be offline from later this evening until Sunday evening (for reasons known to people on Dan's site). I'll pop in again in a couple of hours.
Rhyming?
.. anxious not to offend
(ImNotJohn) Should I be asking 'people on Dan's site' why you haven't returned?
Sorry about that
I've just spent a week away in the South-West, but although I had my laptop and 3G card I had no connectivity at all. Anyway, back now, so:
[Spangle] Rhyming? - NO (actually, I'm not quite sure of that, but I would be surprised if it were). I will attempt to get a definitive answer, but assume NO
Where are we?
Who am I?
A Superhero?
[Software] Ubi? - On a speck of dust
[GL] Quis? - You are Gusset Login and I claim my £5
[Spangle] Superhero? - YES, though possibly not in the sense you're thinking of.
Originating before 1000AD?
Ooh, a question!
[Phil] 1st millennium? - This could be one of 2 questions - I'll answer them both.
YES - the mythical person referred to is from pre-1000CE
NO(ish) The written work(s) referring to the person are post 1000 (but with internal evidence of earlier works)
Merlin?
[Software] Rolls Royce? - NO
Noah?
OK, I'm down to guessing now. Sorry.
Is this something to do with the bible?
[Dujon] Noah? - Ah NO.
[FGZstar] Biblical? NO
I know that I didn't help by my absence, but I'm surprised that this has got so stuck. I think you need to pin it down to a culture/location before guessing names.
Related to the Egyptians?
Imhotep? (Actually an Architect)
From Asia?
[FGZstar] - Egypt? - NO
[GL] Asia? - NO
Europe?
[GL] European? - YES
Germany?
Ancient Greek character?
Nordic?
[GL] Germanic? - NO
[Phil] Lost in the attic? - NO
[Software] A Thor point? - NO
UK?
Aha!
[Phil] UK? - YES (primarily) *the sole remaining member of the audience applauds*
Is the word 'magician' relative to the answer?
Is one of the authors Malory?
[Dujon] Magician-related? - NO
[IS,P] Malory? - NO
Regal?
Bat's dos. I notice that Knnnnniggets in armour was already a NO. Duuuh.
[IS,P] Royalty? - NO (at least the named character is not a monarch although there are connections to royalty)
A person from legend/fable?
Thank goodness for that!
[Phil] Legendary/fabulous/almost Beckhamesque? - YES
Male?
Beowulf?
(I know it's not right, but I'm hoping I might learn something from the audience reaction.)
Merlin?
[Phil] Male? - YES
[CdM] - Beowulf? - NO *the audience are all awake again and looking expectant*
[Spangle] Merlin? - This would be a different Merlin to the last one that was suggested and not a magician, I assume? - Still NO I'm afraid
Pryderi?
Getting closer
[CdM] Pryderi? - NO (he would have got a Yes on the Regal question)
From Celtic legend?
Finn MacCool?
Nearly there
[Phil] Celtic? - YES
[Spangle] Finn MacCool? - NO *the audience is torn between loud applause and gathering up bags, coats etc. ready to head for the exits*
Cuchulain?
A male legendary character from the UK, pre 1000AD, written about post 1000AD, one word, Celtic, not royalty...hmmm, don't think I'm right, but I need to rule Colin's Dog out.
[Phil] - YES CUCHULAINN it is!
The non-human element referred to the physical changes that affected him in battle when he suffered a beserker frenzy and turned into a sort of monster. As for the rest - exactly as you said - UK because he is mostly associated with Ulster.

A dusty cobwebbed baton handed on to Phil

Gosh - I was aware of the Ulsterness, and thought the animal smidgen might refer to his name, and status as Culann's hound (hence "Colin's Dog", which was a name I used in a few MUDs many years ago).
This time I'll go for ANIMAL
Human?
Mammal?
Merely a fall-back question should the answer to FGZ* be 'no'.
Single specific human/mammal/something else?
[FGZ] Human? NO
[Dujon] Mammal? NO
[CdM] A specific instance of a creature? NO (presuming I've interpreted the question correctly)
Aquatic?
Currently extant?
[Raak] Aquatic? NO
[INJ] Extant? YES
Reptilian?
[Dujon] Reptile? NO
Avian?
Dodo?
Naturally occuring in the UK?
[GL] Extant, not extinct.
Puffin?
Damn these eyes. I must get them replaced.
[INJ] Avian? YES *applause*
[GL] Dodo or puffin? NEITHER
[jim] UK-native? NO
A bird of prey?
[Raak] Bird of Prey? NO
Generally found in a watery habitat?
Waders, gulls, waterfowl etc
Flightless?
Parrot?
[INJ] Found in a watery habitat? NO *a smattering of laughter*
[GL] Flightless? YES *more laughter, mixed with applause*
[Software] Parrot? NO
Alive?
As opposed to, say, cooked.
Native to the continent of Oceania?
My first instinct is to say 'Kiwi'
Ostrich?
Turducken?
[INJ] Alive? NO *the distant echoes of previous laughter are replaced by rapturous applause*
[FGZstar] Native to Oceania? NO
[Software] Ostrich? YES-ish, but not the answer on the card. more applause*
[GL] Emu? NO
[jim] Turducken? eh? *sound of Phil googling* Ah! NO, alas.
A clue
The answer on the card is three words, one of which is the indefinite article.
A wild goose?
[Raak] A wild goose? NO
To clarify - perhaps my answer to Software should have been YES, rather than YES-ish. It's not the complete answer, though.
An ostrich egg?
[CdM] An ostrich egg? NO *much applause for two words out of three*
I'm predicting there will be at least one more incorrect guess :-)
sommat do with flaming resurrection?
An ostrich omelette?
Ostrich Egg Omlette?
being more precise
An ostrich steak?
[Dujon] Phoenix? NO
[GL] Omelette? NO
[Software] OMELETTE? NO
[Raak] An Ostrich Steak? YES - the very words on the card! I was expecting feather first. Please accept this low-cholesterol baton of ostrich meat.
Yum. The next is VEGETABLE and MINERAL.
Vegetable = wood?
A hammer?
[Software] Not wood.
[GL] Not a hammer.
Is the mineral metal?
[INJ] Not metal.
Is it man-made?
Edible?
[GL] Yes, man-made.
[Software] Edible? the audience murmurs, wondering how the referee will adjudicate this Strictly speaking, no.
Is the mineral liquid?
[INJ] It is liquid.
A nice cup of tea?
[jim] Not a nice cup of tea (but some applause from the audience).
The brew of a witch?
Is the vegetable paper/card?
[Dujon] Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble? No.
[INJ] Not paper/card.
A pint of beer?
[Software] Not a pint of beer.
A really bad cup of tea?
Containing alcohol?
[jim] Not bad either.
[Spangle] No alcohol.
Is it something that people normally choose to drink?
[GL] Yes, people drink it. (Hence it not being "edible".)
Normally drunk hot?
[INJ] Normally hot.
Associated with a particular place or culture?
[CdM] Particular place or culture? Um...very broadly. We're not talking about boiled yak's milk or infusion of Patagonian lemurs.
Ovaltine?
Used on occasion to promote sleepiness?
Cafe au lait?
A triple venti decaf skinny mocha latte with one shot of hazelnut syrup and whipped cream?
[Projoy] Not Ovaltine.
[Dujon] laughter Does not promote sleepiness.
[irach] applause! Not café au lait.
[CdM] Not, erm, that thing you said.
Contains coffee?
Is coffee?
I'll have a double espresso please.
[INJ] *applause*
[GL] *more applause*
[INJ] *cheering in the aisles* Of the 40,000 ways to prepare an infusion of Coffea arabica, it is indeed a double espresso. One stainless steel lead-weighted rosewood-handled coffee tamper passed on.
Coo
Moving along quickly then. This one is:
ABSTRACT with Mineral (and arguably Animal and Vegetable) connections
A human concept?
[Software] That human question? - YES
Is the mineral stone?
[CdM] Stony? - YES and NO (but more NO than YES)
Fictional?
[CdM] Fictional? - NO
Begins with T?
Unique?
Specifically cultural?
Ends with Y?
[Puj] FirstT? - YES (ish) - I would accept an answer with an initial T although it isn't the first letter on the card
[Dujon] Unique? - YES (at least as a human concept)
[CdM] Neither specifically cultural nor culturally specific in the normal sense of those phrases.
[GL] Yending? At last, an easy question - NO
Something people do?
[Software] An Action? - NO
BTW I've just looked again and technically 'T' is the initial letter on the card, but that's because it's the definite article.
Two word answer incl the definite article?
[Spangle] The Answer? - NO
(4, 5 or 6 words will be accepted - the 6 word version is on the card and starts with the definite article)
Confused enough yet?
Actually I can also think of a 2-word answer that I'd accept as well.
Does the answer contain a superlative?
Does the answer contain a number?
Do any of the words begin with P?
[Raak] Bestest? - NO
[jim] Numeric? - NO
[GL] P-ness? - YES
Scientific?
A geographical feature?
Does the answer involve damming?
[CdM] Boffinology? - YES *considerable audience applause*
[Raak] Geography? - NO
[Dujon] Dam your eyes? - NO (where did that one come from?)
A scientific law or theory?
Related to theoretical physics?
Related to applied physics?
Completely unrelated to physics?
[jim] law/theory? - NO
[CdM] Theoretical? - YES
[Projoy] Applicable? - YES
[GL] Unrelated? - I think you can guess this one;-) - NO
Does this have to do with standard weights and measures?
[Raak] Weights and Measures? - NO (well, actually it has got quite a lot to do with them, but not in a helpful way)
Might we poor souls who aren't very scientific have actually heard of this?
Rephrase: Is it a phrase or saying that is in common usage?
[Spangle] Well known to us poor non-scientists? - YES (I promise you'll know this). As to the rephrase, I wouldn't really call it a phrase or saying, but it is in common usage.
Does it have to do with levers?
[Raak] Momentous? - NO
Does the word Principle appear on the card?
[CdM] You should know by now that I'm completely unprincipled, so: NO
Does the word Power appear on the card?
[GL] Powerful? - NO
Electrical?
[Software] Electric? - NO
A summary
OK, it’s a non-fictional unique scientific human concept, but not a law or theory. It’s related to Physics, both theoretical and applied. The mineral connection is partly, but not predominantly to stone. It has nothing to do with electricity, levers, weights & measures (with some caveats – as a clue, I would say that you can draw a tenuous connection to an awful lot of things if you put your mind to it). There are 6 words on the card, one of which starts with P, the first word being the definite article – I will not insist on your getting the exact words. None of these words is a number nor a superlative.
It is not an action, nor is it culturally specific, nor to do with geography.

So, if it’s not a law or a theory but is a scientific human concept, what is it?

The periodic table of the elements?
Not really physics, but connected, and it fits the pattern of words.
Fallait y penser
[jim] Indeed yes. The periodic table of the elements it is
No-one asked the Chemistry question, but I couldn't really say it was not related to Physics.

Here, have this glowing transuranic baton before it disappears.

Takes glowing thingy with some caution
My hair is falling out fast enough as it is, thankyou. No, the physics thing was definitely the right call. It's amazing how misleading one can end up being--completely unintentionally--by simply answering the questions as asked.

Anyway, let's have a nice ANIMAL/ABSTRACT.

Is the animal element human?
[Jim] Many of us will sympathise with that. I've gotten myself terribly tied in knots before now, just trying to say "yes" or "no" truthfully.
Is the answer a fictional character?
[jim, Kim] I know exactly how that feels, I remember trying to decide if Jupiter was flammable.
Unique?
[Kim] Human: YES
[GL] Fictional character: YES
[INJ] Unique: YES

Well, it doesn't look like this is going to take long.

Related to Harry Potter?
Male?
[GL] "Is Jupiter Flammable?" There must be scholarly philosophical articles written on that very question.
[Raak] Potter: NO (phew!)
[GL] Male: YES
In a work originally published post 1899 CE?
Originally in written fiction?
Narrowing frighteningly fast
[INJ] Post 1899: YES
[Raak] Written: YES
Biggles?
Was the fiction written by a British author?
[Raak] Several, they generally conclude that there isn't enough oxygen (or mass if you want to use fusion to light it) but if you could provide that, then it would be.
An eponymous character?
[GL] British: NO
[INJ] Eponymous: NO (that is, there are many things named after this character, but the book in which he originally appears isn't.)
Raffles?
[Software] Raffles: NO
In a work originally published prior to 1999 CE?
[GL] Pre 1999: YES
Was the author American?
In a work originally published in English?
[Raak] American: YES
[CdM] In English: YES
Originally in a cartoon/graphic work?
[INJ] Cartoon: NO
Science fiction?
Would the creator of this character be blessed with a name that relates to the provision of particular goods and services?
Did this character appear in more than one book?
Is this character under the age of 20?
[Raak] Science fiction: NO
[Dujon] Service industry: NO
[CdM] Multiple books: As far as I know, NO. He's mentioned in other works, but the only book I know of that he actually appears in is a stand-alone.
[Spangle] Under 20: NO
Is the work based in a war zone?
Sorry, missed one
[Raak] Biggles: NO (you might have been able to infer this from other answers)
[INJ] War games: NO, it isn't Catch-22 :)
Oh dear, that's a major, major disappointment!
Sports connection?
[Software] Sporty: NO
"Other works" = film?
Written between 1950 & 1970?
[Phil] Film: That's not what I had in mind when I said it, but the original written work has been transferred to the silver screen.
[INJ] 1950-1970: YES
In children's literature?
[CdM] Kid stuff: NO
Holden Caulfield?
Getting the guess out of the way.
[INJ] Lousy...: NO (isn't he a "goddam minor"?)
Written in the sixties?
Did the book win a prize?
Yes, I missed Spangle's question. Also, of course, there has never been a film.
[Projoy] 60s: Mostly NO.
[INJ] Prize: YES
Was it the author's only published novel?
Does the book cover a span of several years (say, more than a decade)?
[INJ] The one and only: YES
[CdM] Decade plus: NO
Did the character share his name with a popular beat combo?
Give or take a letter.
[INJ] Popular beat combo: YES
If you don't put us out of our misery soon, you're going to get gazumped, and I for one will laugh :)
There are still at least 2 possible answers - even if my suspicions are correct.
Clarification
Actually I'm taking "give or take a letter" to mean "give or take a letter plus the definite article" in my answer to the previous.
Boo Radley?
Well, I know it's bad form to have 2 goes in a row, but it is over 24 hours since the last one. Assuming I'm heading in the right direction I should like to point out the existence of 'The Tom Robinson Band' and bands called 'Atticus Finch' and 'Scout', not to mention a singer called 'Jem'.
We have a winner
[INJ] YES! It is Arthur "Boo" Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird. A pale figure emerges blinking into the light and slips a baton into your hand before vanishing.
Your point is taken, although you could probably find a band called just about anything if you looked. I suppose I'm the right age and nationality to immediately think of The Boo Radleys if TKAM and bands come up together.
[jim] Sorry if that sounded like a complaint - I was thinking of The Boo Radleys as well when I asked the question (plus Tom Robinson in my comment afterwards). The rest were as a result of googling.
Anyway, since it's me again we'll try not to be too tricky. This next one is VEGETABLE with ABSTRACT connections
Is the vegetable wood?
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
Edible?
[GL] Woody? - Mostly YES *some applause and a few chuckles in the audience*
[Spangle] Phrase or saying? - NO (not that you won't have seen or heard the words on the card many times)
[CdM] Edible? - NO (or at least, almost entirely No)
Newton's apple tree?
Unique?
A religious reference?
Related to the Occult?
Related to Christmas?
[irach] Newtonian? - NO
[CdM] Only one? - YES
[Dujon] Religious? - NO
[GL] Wooooo? - NO
[Raak] Yule-y? - NO
Toaster < Words on Card < Telephone Box?
I'm a bit embarrassed given we have ladies present, but does this unique item have some sort of phallic symbolism (real or imagined)?
[CdM] Toaster < telephone box < Words on Card
[Dujon] Ooo-er Missus? - NO *a few chuckles*
Sherwood Forest?
Wow!
Hit the bullseye! Sherwood Forest it is.
One baton disguised as a quarter-staff handed on.
For a while there I couldn't see the forest for the trees ... The next one is simply ANIMAL
The Conservative Party?
Human?
[FGZstar] Good answer, but no.
[Gusset Login] Yes, human.
Mammalian?
[FGZstar] Human, so, yes mammalian.
Alive?
More than one human?
Famous?
[ImNotJohn] Dead as a doornail.
[Spangle] One human.
[Softers] Yes, famous.
Was alive in the 20th century?
A scientist?
Male?
[Raak] Not alive in the 20th century
[jim] Not a scientist
[Spangle] Yes, male.
Connected with the arts?
[ImNotJohn] The arts were one of the things he was known for.
European?
[Software] Yes, European.
A writer?
[ImNotJohn] Yes, a writer.
British?
[jim] Yes, a British writer.
Warm Blooded?
Born before 1800?
[all] Warm-blooded when he was alive, yes.
[Gusset Login] Born after 1800.
Popular novelist?
Known in other fields as well?
Apart from writing
[Software] Not a novelist.
[ImNotJohn] Known for at least one other field apart from writing.
Benjamine Disraeli?
[FGStar] Not Disraeli (but quite coincidentally all the letters in the last name of the person on the card are contained in "Disraeli"- HUGE HINT!)
Edward Lear?
[Raak] Right on. Edward Lear it is.
A runcible spoon in lieu of the traditional baton is handed over to Raak.
Begins with a...
...oh hang on, I'll come back later.
Looking for a 'P', Tuj? I've left a few for you; down the hall and turn left.
There was an old man of Morn. Crescent
Who received a mysterious present
"'Tis MINERAL!" he said
And nodded his head
That puzzling old man of Morn. Crescent.
Metal?
Begins with a P?
[INJ] Not metal.
[GL] Does not begin with a P.
Man-made?
Unique?
Liquid?
[Software] Hmm..."yes" is probably the less misleading answer.
[jim] There is only one.
[INJ] Not liquid.
Made of Stone?
[GL] *murmurings in the audience* No. Not made of stone.
Made of glass?
[Phil] Glass? Better not be. *laughter*
Used in a sporting context?
Plaster of Paris?
Geographic feature?
[INJ] Not sporting.
[FGZ*] Not PoP.
[CdM] Not geographic.
Is the answer on the card the name of a famous jewel?
[Dujon] *applause!* Spot on.
The Graff Pink?
Guessing at topicality
[Phil] Is that a reference to some royal betrothal? I haven't been following the news. Anyway, not the Pink 'Un.
The Koh-i-Noor?
[jim] Not the Koh-i-Noor.
A diamond?
[GL] Not a diamond.
:"The Star of India" sapphire?
[irach] Bollywood? No.
Is it a corundum?
[jim] It is a corundum.
Red or reddish?
[irach] Not red.
Was this a gem from Sri Lanka?
[Dujon] It is not known to be from Sri Lanka.
The sapphire in Kate Middleton'e engagement ring?
[FGZ*} Ah, is that her name? Having checked the latest news, I believe the corundum I have in mind is still in its traditional setting.
St. Edward's Sapphire?
[GL] The very one. Have this sapphire-headed sceptre.
[Raak] No, not royal. It broke the record for most expensive jewel this week.
That was unexpected. Let's go with a simple ANIMAL.
A simple human?
[Software] Human? Yes
[Software] Simple? I refuse to comment
Kate Middleton?
I think I'm getting the hang of this "news" thing.
[Raak] The Queen of the Future? No
Alive?
[Software] Alive? Not anymore
British?
Alive in the 20th century?
[Software] Brit? Yes
[Raak] C20? Yes
Writer?
[Software] Writer? No
Connected with the arts?
A political figure?
[INJ] Artsy? Yes
[Raaak] Politics? No
Entertainer?
[Software] Entertaining? Yes
An actor?
Michael Jackson?
Comic?
Female?
[INJ] Actor? Yes
[FGZ*] MJ? No
[Software] Comic? If you mean stand up comedian, then no.
[CdM] Girly? No
Has he won an Oscar?
[Raaak] Oscar? {Sounds of mirth from the Audience} No.
Better known from films rather than TV?
[INJ] Films > TV? No.
Norman Wisdom?
[Software] Sir Norman? No
Is he known for sitcom roles?
Did he die before the age of sixty?
Would half of an hour be an appropriate comment?
[Raaaak] Sitcom roles? He is known for a sitcom role but perhaps better known for other roles.
[CdM] Dead before Sixty? No
Hancock's Half Hour? No
Primarily known for roles on children's TV?
Sid James?
[INJ] Primarily known for Kids TV? It depends on your age and/or opinion of the programme. But possibly Yes.
[Software] Sid James? No
English?
Whovian?
[jim] English? Yes
[INJ] Related to Doctor Who? {Much applause from the audience that takes time to die down} Yes
Sylvester McCoy?
[Rak] Sylvester McCoy? Isn't English or Dead. So obviously, No.
Wurzel Gummidge?
Or rather Jon Pertwee.
[Software] Jon Pertwee? Yes! Have a sonic baton.
Who? me?
Well, well. Now I must think!

After due consideration: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE.

Is it unique?
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the animal alive?
A leather-covered writing desk?
Tuj - Unique? - NO
INJ - Wooden? - NO
GL - Alive? - NO
Raak - Bureau? - NO
Is it edible?
INJ - Edible - YES
Meat enclosed in bread?
Haggis, Neeps and Tatties?
A guess, since it's St Andrews day.
Raak - Ham sandwich? - NO
FGZ - Wee beastie? - NO
Does pie enter into the equation?
Culturally specific?
Meat enclosed in pastry?
GL - Pie? - YES
INJ - Non-universal? - YES, probably
Raak - Snake and Sidney - NO
Fish pie?
Shepherd's pie?
Spangle - Cod piece? - NO
FGZ - Spudlike? - NO
Is the answer the name of a dish?
Is pasta involved?
Is the animal part - meat?
Is it a custard pie?
INJ - Menu item? - YES
Raak - Italian? - NO
Spangle - Cow pie? - NO
GL - Laurel & Hardy? - NO
Is the animal part a dairy product?
Does the animal part include eggs?
INJ - Bovine? - Can be, YES
Raak - Fowl? - AFIK NO
*small voice*
I'm having a bit of difficulty understanding your replies as you seem to alter the question asked prior to responding, egs: 'cow pie' [I didn't ask that] 'bovine' and 'fowl', 'italian' etc. Sorry if this is the way this game should be played. Clearly, I'm not very good at it!
Chessecake?
That is, cheesecake?
Mind you, a chessecake would be interesting, with the chessemen made of plain and chocolate marzipan.
Raak - Cheesy? - NO
Spangle
Are you American?
Related to Christmas in any way?
FGZ - Seasonal? - YES
Mince Pie?
Phil - Yule fuel? - YES!

Phil has it! I therefore hand over the cracker-shaped baton.

Ooops!!!
Multiple and profuse apologies for my recent absence from this game. I offer no excuses, only reasons, which are too diverse and manifold to detail at this time.

The challenge I set is ANIMAL

human?
Alive?
Unique?
One of the man-eating sharks of Sharm el-Sheikh?
[INJ] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? YES and NO is the most correct answer I can give
[CdM] Unique? NO (which explains the previous answer)
[jim] Sharm-el-Shark? NO
Avian?
[INJ] Avian? NO
Do people eat these animals?
A sea anemone?
A cellular construct?
Aquatic?
Do the words on the card designate a particular species?
Part of an animal?
[Raak] Do people eat them? YES
[FGZ] Anemone? NO
[Dujon] Cellular construct? NO
[CdM] A species? YES *applause*
[Spangle] Part of an animal? NO
Crustacean?
Mammalian?
*points at GL's question*
Aquatic?
Domesticated?
Reindeer?
Christmassy?
[GL] Aquatic? YES *Applause!!* and apologies for a disgraceful oversight
[Spangle] Crustacean? NO
[Raak] Thanks for pointing :-)
[GL] Aquatic? HELL YES *More applause (& laughter at Phil for his stupidity)* ;-)
[INJ] Domesticated? NO
[GL] Reindeer? NO
[Raak] Christmassy? Ghastly word, but NO
Are they likely to be served at a sushi restaurant?
[CdM] Sushi-susceptible? NO
Regularly found in a UK fish market?
*points at own question*
:)
Found on the menu at Phil's pub?
Blue Whale?
Oh gosh, I'm at it again.
[jim] Very sorry. Mammalian? YES *applause*
[INJ] UK fish marketable? NO
[Raak] Cooked my me? NO *chuckles*
[GL] Blue Whale? NO
Porpoise?
Saltwater mammal?
Tuna friendly dolphin?
Otter?
[CdM] Porpoise? NO
[Spangle] Saltwater? YES
[GL] Amicable dolphin? NO
[Raak] Otter? NO
Seal?
[Software] Seal? NO
Does it look like a fish?
You know, in the way that dolphins, whales, and sharks do and otters and seals don't.
Walrus?
Is the name of this beastie related to an African plain dwelling carnivore?
[Raak] vaguely fishy in appearance? YES-ish
[irach] I am the Walrus? NO
*some interesting whispers between audience members*
[Dujon] nominally similar to African wotsit? NO (presuming there isn't some obscure African creature I don't know about)
Sea Lion?
Manatee?
Reminds me of a song..
Du-gong, Du-gong, it's the cow of the see-hee-heeee
Du-gong, Du-gong, also known as the manatee!
[Spangle] Sea lion? NO (I suspect that was what Dujon was driving at)
[FGZ] Manatee? NO
On reflection, perhaps Gusset Login's "Blue Whale?" question deserved a ripple of applause.
Penguin?
Narwhal?
Sperm whale?
Is the colouring of this mammal generally accepted as being black and white?
[Phil] Your earlier suspicion was correct. :)
from the Cetacea group/order?
[Phil, Dujon] Clearly obfuscation is the way forward in this game. I'll learn :^)
[Raak] Penguin? NO
[CdM] Sperm Whale? NO
[Dujon] Geordie mammal? NO
[Spangle] Cetacea? YES

And finally, [irach] Narwhal? YES
One spiral, 6-foot long baton passed to irach
This one is just ANIMAL as well.
Human?
[Software] Yes, human.
Alive?
[Raak] Dead as a doornail.
Did death occur in the last century 1910-2010?
[Spangle] Yes, the person died between 1910-2010.
Winston Churchill?
I'm just gonna jump right in with a punt.
British?
[FGZStar] That was almost a candidate for the start of a very dirty limerick.
[FGZStar] Not Churchill.
[jim] Not British
Male?
[Raak] Yes, male.
Between 1960 and 2010 (death occurrence)?
[Spangle] No, his death did not occur between 1960-2010.
Russian?
[Spangle] (your earlier comment in the previous game) Of course!
Connected with the arts?
American?
[Dujon] Nyet. Not Russian.
[jim] Not artsy-fartsy
[Software] Not a Yank.
Hitler?
[Gusset Login] Nein. Nicht Herr Hitler.
Military?
from the southern hemisphere?
[Software] Not military.
[FGZstar] Not from the Southern hemisphere, but with strong connections to it.
Roald Amundsen?
[jim] Roald Amundsen it is!
A flagpole baton plucked from the South Pole handed over to jim.
Well. A lucky guess indeed, though I admit I had quite a broad hint. Pulls on padded gloves before taking baton
OK, I am thinking of a mineral, probably with elements of animal and vegetable depending on definition.
Seasonal?
A fossil?
[Software] Start off with a good one, why don't you. I should say YES, seasonal in at least one sense of the word, but if you mean specifically connected with the festive season, NO.
[irach] Not a fossil.
Naturally occuring?
Snowman?
[Dujon] Au naturel: I think the best answer I can give to that is "mostly".
[GL] Frosty: NO.
Connected to a coastline?
Present solely during winter?
[irach] Littoral: NO (at least, not as I understand "connected").
[FGZstar] Wintry: NO.
A geographical feature?
A certain type of weather pattern?
As in the wrong type of snow, although obviously not snow as that would be wintry.
Related to Summer?
[Spangle] Not a geographical feature.
[FGZstar] Not a certain type of weather pattern.
[GL] Not (specifically) related to summer.
Coastline related?
Possibly a portable book stand for use whilst reading on a beach?
Specific to a particular country or culture?
[FGZstar] Not coastline related.
[CdM] Not culture specific.
Man made?
[Software] Mostly NOT man-made. Though many would say the bit that is is extremely significant.
Unique?
[CdM] YES, unique.
bigger than a toaster?
Smaller than a phonebox?
[Phil] YES, bigger than a toaster.
[GL] Not smaller than a phonebox.
Is there a sporting connection?
[CdM] No specific sporting connection.
Movable?
[Software] I would have to say yes, it is moveable, though moving it in the sense I take you to mean would be impractical.
Is it something that relates to water?
seismic?
Anything to do with the weather?
[nfras] I would have to say that yes, it relates to water.
[Software] Not seismic.
[Projoy] Yes, it has to do with the weather.
Global freezing?
Is it a large swirly wind storm of some type?
The Day After Tomorrow?
Bigger than a terraced house?
[Dujon] Not global freezing.
[nfras] Not a storm.
[FGZstar] Not the day after tomorrow, or "The Day After Tomorrow".
[Projoy] Yes, bigger than a terraced house.
Would you find it (roughly) at ground level?
[Projoy] Yes, you would find it at ground level, although it certainly isn't exclusively found there.
Does it move?
Is the mineral rock?
[Projoy] Yes, it moves.
[Rosie] No, not rock.
Carbon dioxide?
Would you find it out at sea?
[Rosie] Not carbon dioxide, although CO2 is involved.
[Projoy] Yes, you would find it out at sea, although again not exclusively so.
icy?
The atmosphere?
[Software] It contains ice, yes.
[Projoy]YES! It is the Earth's atmosphere. One attractive combination baton-barometer passes on to Projoy.
Jolly dee. Wasn't expecting that to be it. (racks brains) um... OK, here's an ABSTRACT.
Is it an emotion?
A human proclivity?
"Air on a G String" by JS Bach?
The feeling you get when you get that feeling?
[GL] Emotion? NO
[Dujon] Human proclivity? ARGUABLY
[irach] Happiness is...? NO
[Raak] The feeling? NO
Is it common?
[Software] Common? *audience laughter* YES.
Does it depend on human volition?
Medical?
A human action?
[CdM] Human volition? YES
[Spangle] Medical? NO
[Raak] Something folks do? YES
Do non-humans also do this?
Could it be discussed on Sesame Street?
Without unprecedented numbers of complaints, obviously.
Might one reasonably do this in the middle of Trafalgar Square?
Cleaning?
[CdM] Non-human activity? NO
[GL] Sesame Street? UNLIKELY (altho complaints would be highly unlikely if it were)
[Raak] Do-able under Nelson's gaze? YES, but in practice unlikely.
[FGZstar] Cleaning? NO
Does it involve talking?
[Raak] Discursible? NOT OF NECESSITY.
(But in practice, highly likely)
Does it involve more than one person?
Is it culture-specific?
Googling?
[FGZstar] More than one person? YES, almost inevitably
[CdM] Culture-specific? NO
[Spangle] Googling? NO
Science-related?
Does this involve the lack of one of the accepted five senses?
[CdM] Sciencey? NO
[Dujon] Sensory deprivation? NO
Is it possible to do this alone?
A sing-along?
[FGZstar] I doubt this is a helpful answer, but YES, strictly this is possible.
[Software] Singalonga? NO
a game?
[Spangle] A game? NO
Arty?
Is this one of the seven deadly sins?
Is this all of the seven deadly sins?
Is this original sin?
Is this seven original sins?
[CdM] Arty? *hollow laughter from audience* NO
[CdM et al] Sin City? NO, none of the above.
So, so far we have that it's a common human activity that is not particularly taboo. More than one person typically does it. For free I will volunteer that there are two words on the card.
Is this - ahem - enjoyable?
Group hug?
[Spangle] Pleasurable? I would say NO for those directly involved.
[Software] Group hug? *much audience laughter* NO.
Slagging off?
Does it involve physical contact?
[Software] Slagging off? NO
[Spangle] Physical Contact? NO
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