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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Contains coffee?
Contains coffee? No.
A type of soup?
Tea?
Sometimes served with milk, don't you know.
Is the animal element dairy produce?
That's ten noes in a row
Soup? No.
Tea? Still No.
Dairy? No.
Is it a beverage?
Is it medicinal?
A beverage? No.
Medicinal? No.
Is it sold in an average supermarket?
Is its normal use as a foodstuff
Just 'cos it's edible doesn't mean that's its primary purpose.
Sold in an average supermarket? Hmmm. Good question. It can be. I have certainly seen it for sale in regular supermarkets in the US (and perhaps in other countries, though I am not sure). But would I expect to find it if I wandered into an average supermarket here in Australia, or in the UK? Probably not. So I will go with No.
Normal use as a foodstuff? Yes. (But a good assumption-checking question!)
Argan Oil?
Still with bits of goat mixed in.
Argan oil? No.
Is it consumed by itself?
Is the P-word on the card paste?
Consumed by itself? No. *applause*
P = paste? No.
Is it a sauce for a dish?
A sauce? Yes. *applause*
More likely to be consumed in USA?
As per
Pasta sauce?
More likely to be consumed in USA? Um. Than where? It is more likely to be consumed in the USA than in some other places, and less likely to be consumed in the USA than in other other places. It is almost certainly more likely to be consumed in the USA than in the UK, if that is what you mean. :-)
Pasta sauce? No.
Does it normally contain chili?
Contains chill? Yes. *applause*
Tabasco Pepper Sauce?
Tabasco? No. (I think I would have classified that as a condiment.)
Originates in Asia?
Asian? No.
*ouch*
CdM - ooops. Thought I'd typed 'than in the UK' but didn't check preview. Thanks for clarification. I have a hunch this may be a foodstuff I haven't heard of so will withdraw from the chase ..
Pico de gallo?
Pico de gallo? No. *some applause*
*changes mind* Might this be classed as a Mexican sauce?
Piri-piri
aka peri-peri or pili-pili
Mole poblano?
Mexican sauce? Yes.
Piri-peri-pili? No.
Mole Poblano? Yes! It is indeed the Mexican sauce (or class of sauces, really) made from spices, peppers, nuts, and chocolate. And if you have never tasted a good Pollo con Mole Poblano, put that on your bucket list right now. The "animal" is because the sauce can be made with (typically chicken) stock or just with water.
[Q] Here. There's a baton on this plate somewhere.
[CdM] I will eat my way through the entire dish until I find the baton - and then keep on going! A good mole sauce dish is delicious indeed. Now I'm hungry...
Anyway, I'm currently busy in town. I will post a new AVMA item when I get home in a few hours.
By my decree, this one is MINERAL.
Unique?
[Chalky] Well? Had you heard of it?
it is solid?
[Cdm] I'd heard of "mole", but not the "poblano" bit.
Begins with a P?
(Presumably it's not a sandwich)
Begins with a Q?
[Phil] I had decided that I would accept "mole" as close enough. In most people's minds, I think mole = mole poblano.
Made of stone?
I knew 'Mole mole' but not 'Mole Poblano'
Is it metal?
[CdM] Not only knew it but have made it - and also thought it might be the answer which is why I asked the 'mexican' question. I have always believed '.. mole' to be '.. sauce' ie. Guacamole. Be that as it may, and it may not - Quendo slipped in there before me which is probably for the best given my schedule over the next few days :)
Sorry for the delay
[CdM] Unique? NO.
[Phil] Solid? YES. *applause*
[Tuj] Begins with 'P'? NO, not this time.
[CdM] Begins with 'Q'? NOPE.
[NJ] Rock? Technically YES.
[Chalks] Metal? NO.
Made of glass?
[Phil] Glass? YES. *audience murmurs*
Ornamental?
Man-made?
[Softers] Ornamental? SOMETIMES. *audience murmurs*
[Raak] Man-made? NO.
Smaller than a toaster?
Is it made of obsidian?
[Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? N/A.
[GL] Obsidian? YES, that's the word on the card!

Passing a black, glassy baton...
*says gosh*
*is impressed*
Oh. I'd expected something more specific.

OK, this one is ABSTRACT/ANIMAL.
Fictional?
[Tuj] Fictional? Yes
Fictional human?
[GL] I figured that I might want to try something obscure next time I have the baton, so I thought I'd build up some compensatory karma in advance.
In literature?
Male?
Begins with a P?
[Quenda] Fictional Human? No
[NJ] Literature? Yes
[Phul] Male? Assumed to be but I don't remember it being confirmed. I'm saying Yes.
[Tuj] Begins with P? No.
Fictional Animal?
[Chalky] Fictional aminal? Yes
Talking animal?
Is/was the author of this fictional animal female?
[Quendo] Talking? Yes.
[CdM] From the mind of a woman? No.
An animal native to asia?
[NJ] Lives in asia? No. *Some mutters of disagreement from the audience*
First written of before 1950?
Mammal?
[CdM] pre-1950? Yes
[Quando] Mammalian? No.
Ignore me, I accidentally posted twice in a row.
[Quenda] I'm sorry, did you say something?
Begins with Q?
Cheshire cat?
Cats are native to Asia, but the Cheshire cat is native to Cheshire.
[CdM] Q...? No.
[Quen Dalon] Grinning Cat? No. Also cat's are mammals.
A single individual animal?
Is it a bird?
First written of before 1900?
[GL] I thought that when you said "No" you meant "Yes."
[NJ] Singular? Yes.
[Suzierocket] bird? No.
[Quendal On] Pre-1900? No.
Does this animal also exist in the real world?
[Suzierocket] Is it a real animal? If you mean is this fictional talking animal also a real talking animal... No.
If you mean is it a member of a species that also exists in the real world... Also, no.
Smaug?
[CdM] Smaug? The very worm. Have a golden baton filtched from the dragon's horde.
All right. It has been a while since I have done an ABSTRACT. This also has ANIMAL connections.
Fictional character?
Fictional character? No.
The Origin of Species?
If this is right the cries of 'Fix!' will be deafening.
A human invention?
An emblem?
Bestiality?
Not that sort of animal connection? I'll get my coat.
TOoS? No
Human invention? No.
Emblem? No.
Animal Husbandry? No.
A metaphorical animal?
Metaphorical animal? No.
Is the AOTC a single word?
Single word? Yes.
Unique?
Unique? No.
Related to the Arts?
Related to the Arts? The best answer is No. There are connections—probably a lot of them; for example the AOTC certainly shows up in book titles and song titles—but I don't think they will be useful to you.
Is the animal connection human?
Animal connection human? Yes, but not exclusively so.
Is it an emotion or feeling?
Does it start with an S?
Does it start with a silent 'P'?
Does it end in Y?
Is the word on the card a noun?
Emotion or feeling? Yes. *applause*
Start with S? No.
Start with silent P? No.
End in Y? No.
Noun? Yes. (It is also a verb, but I am treating the AOTC as referring to the noun.)
Hunger?
Is it normally considered negative?
Attributed more commonly to one sex--reasonably or otherwise?
Hunger? No.
Normally considered negative? Yes.
Attributed more to one sex? I don't think so. I'm unaware of either an objective difference or a pervasive stereotype.
OK, I have done a little research now, and discovered that at least one aspect of the AOTC is—objectively—associated more with women than men.
Does it begin with a Q?
Begin with Q? No.
A pedantic clarification. I answered Yes to "Emotion or feeling?", and that is clearly the best answer. But we might be hesitant about applying those terms to non-human animals, so I should note that there are also senses of the AOTC that go beyond emotion/feeling.
Does this involve killing?
Sorry I'm late, it's the darned traffic.
Involve killing? Not usually. Occasionally, yes.
Would this type of behaviour be classified as a syndrome or even illness?
Syndrome? Well, first, it isn't a "type of behaviour" as such, though it certainly can be associated with certain behaviours. And although it can sometimes be associated with a syndrome/illness, it isn't in itself one.
Is it normally considered rational in reasonably common circumstances?
Do you know of an emoticon which expresses this?
Does it start with a non-silent 'P'?
Is it drepressing?
Normally considered rational? *audience applauds the question* No. In some circumstances quite the contrary. Although it is not always considered irrational, either.
Emoticonned? I was not aware of one, but the google does give me examples. Mind you, if you had just shown me these examples, I would not have identified them as the AOTC.
Begin with non-silent P? Yes. Of course.
Depressing or drepressing? No, not in general. Maybe in some specific circumstances.
Paranoia?
Paranoia? No. (I did actually think about making that the AOTC when setting this AVMA.)
Panic?
Panic? Yes! *throws the baton in Quendalon's general direction and runs away screaming*
Eeek! Er, I mean, yes! Of course! Success!

Our next selection is obscurely ANIMAL.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique? YES.
Human?
[Tuj] Possesses personhood? YES.
alive now?
Male?
[NJ] Among the living? YES.
[GL] Male? NO.
A member of the Morniverse?
Does she begin with a Queen?
[Tuj] Player of Mornington Crescent? UNLIKELY, but since I don't know your real names there's no way to be sure...
[CdM] Name prefaced with female monarchical title? NO.
European?
In the entertainment business?
A sportswoman?
[Q] The best answers are often the scrupulously accurate ones =)
Has she received an honour from the Queen?
Over thrity?
[CdM] From Europe? YES.
[NJ] In the business of providing entertainment? YES.
[Tuj] Famed athlete? NO.
[Raak] Received award from female monarch? NO.
A thespian?
[NJ] Dramaturge? NO.
Does she begin with P?
Also, you forgot to answer GL's question: is she over thrity? Enquiring midns wnat to konw.
[CdM] Do any words on the card begin with 'P'? NO.
[GL] Is this personage over thrity years old? YSE.
A singer?
[Tuj] Vocalist? NO.
Is she a broadcaster?
[Chalks] Casts broadly? NO.
OK. Does she begin with Q, then?
Is she a writer?
[CdM] Starts with 'Q'? NO.
[Chalks] Writes? YES. *applause*
Does she write for television?
Has she published a novel within the last year?
[nights] Writes for the telly? NO. (In the interests of full disclosure, she has done a bit of TV writing but is not known for it.)
[CdM] Novel with publication date after June 16, 2012? NO.
Has she published a novel within the last ten years?
Is she aged over fifty?
Is she married?
British?
[GL] Published a novel since 2003? YES.
[Chalko] Over fifty years old? YES.
[Phil] Wedded? YES.
[Tuj] Brit? YES.
Tanith Lee?
[GL] Tanith Lee? YES. *wild applause*

I guess that wasn't so obscure after all?

*tosses Gusset Login the baton through a gate of agate, a gate of blue steel and a terrible gate of black flame*
*googles Tanith Lee*
Well Guessed Guss!
I've only heard of Tanith Lee because my local sci-fi/fantasy book group are meant to be reading some of her stuff next month. The guess was meant to rule her out and confirm my own sanity... which clearly worked well.

Time for an ABSTRACT, I think
The letter P?
Anarcho-Syndicalism?
[Tuj] P...? No.
[Chalky] Anarcho-Syndicalism? No.
Human construct?
Fictional?
[CdM] Human construct? I'm going to say No.
[Tuj] Fictional? I've not seen evidence of it for a while but No, not fictional.
Connected with the natural world?
Related to perception?
[GL] Do you know which of Lee's books you'll be reading? Her 70s sci-fi/fantasy is excellent, but I gather her style shifted over time and I'm not sure what the more recent stuff is like. But if you're reading her Tales of the Flat Earth stories or The Birthgrave, you're in for a treat.
[Chalky] From nature? Unclear, much like the human construct thing. I'm saying Yes, with reservations
[Quendalon] Perception? Not closely related, but possibly yes.

[Quendalon] I'll find out on Saturday which one I get but the whole gammet of her work is being covered as far as I can tell.
One of the seven deadly sins?
[Chaky] A sin? No. *Laughter*
Generally considered to be pleasing?
[Quend] Positive? Yes.
Is it an emotion or feeling?
[Tuj] Emothing or feeling? Yes.
Is there more than one word on the card?
[Quendalon] Multi-word? No.
Does it begin with either P or Q?
[CdM] P... or Q...? No.
Related to attachment?
[cfm] Attachment? It can be but not always, depending on your definition of attachment.
Is it some form of familial bond?
[Dujon] Bond, Familial Bond? No.
Is it an '.. ism'?
[Chalky] ...ism? No.
Felt only by humans?
Does it end in "-ness"?
[Quendalon] Only human? I have seen it ascribed to other animals but who can tell? (Hence my earlier answers regarding human constructs and nature)
[Phil] ...ness? Not on the card but a reasonable synonym does.
Does it begin with a letter from the first half of the alphabet [incl M]?
Joy?
Empathy?
[Chakly] A-M...? Yes.
[Phil] Joy? No.
[cfm] Empathy? No.
Is it directed at someone or something outside oneself?
[Quendalon] Targetted? Yes.
Generosity?
Love?
[Chalky] Generosity? No. *Much applause*
[Phil] Love? No.
Does the word begin with a vowel?
[Chalky] A... E... or I...? No.
Does it end -ion?
[Tuj] ...ion? No.
Is it an '.. ity'?
[Chalky] ...ity? No.
The word on the card does have a fair number of acceptable synonyms, many of which would elicit different response to some recent questions. I'm not sure this is your best line of attack.

Summary/Clarification/Hints
This is a single word describing a felling or emotion directed by humans (and possibly other animals) towards something. Generally it is considered positive for at least one of the people involved.
It starts with a consonant between B and M (G) and doesn't end with 'ity', 'ion', 'ism' or 'ness'. Although synonyms ending with at least two of those option and beginning with completely different letters may be acceptable answers.
Is it a noun?
[Quend] Noun? Yes.
Can it be used as a name?
I think the fact we've dropped to this poor line of attack is no-one's had a good idea how to approach it!
Friendship?
Is it typically directed at a single person (in any given instance) or at multiple people at once?
[Tuj] Can it be used as a name? Not traditionally but I wouldn't put it past some people.
[Quendalon] Friendship? No.
[CdM] Directed at a single person? In the last year, I have directed it at individuals, couples, groups, inanimate objects and the results of blind chance.
Gratitude?
[cfm] Gratitude? Yes. Have mine and a baton.
[GL] Similar sentiments to you, dear. Let's try VEGETABLE AND MINERAL
Is it a geographical location?
Is the vegetable wood?
[NJ] Here or there? NO.
[GL] Wooden? NO.
Unique?
[Q] Unique? NO
Edible?
Is the mineral metal?
Is it a sandwich?
Would it normally be found in a sandwich?
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[Raak] Edible? YES
[CdM] Metallic? NO
[Tuj] Two slices plus? NO
[Q] Big as a loaf or two? NO
[GL] Sandwichable? NO
Wet?
Is the mineral salt?
Is it a foodstuff?
[Chalky] Watery? I think the best answer is YES, but in practice, it would be to varying degrees.
[Raak] Salty? The best answer to your question is NO, that is not the primary mineral ingredient. But I know of at least one instance where salt is involved.
[GL] Cuppa? NO, that is not the AOTC. But YES, tea may be involved.
[CdM] Foodstuff? NO. *audience interest increases*
Is it found in a typical Western home?
Is it generally considered valuable?
Is it medicinal?
[Q] Western staple? YES---though not as common as say, a carton of milk or a pair of scissors.
[GL] Pricey? NO.
[Chalky] Medicinal? I think the best answer is NO. *murmurs from the audience*
Is alcohol involved?
[Phil] Alcoholic? NO, the AOTC does not involve alcohol. But there is a peripheral connection.
[Chalky] By the same token, I guess that's true for your question, too.
Is the AOTC the name of a meal?
Is it always both vegetable and mineral, or is it sometimes just vegetable or just mineral?
[Chalky] Name that meal? NO.
[Q] One not both? YES. While the vast majority of the AOTC is both mineral and vegetable, sometimes the answer is just one of those things. *applause*
Begins with a P?
Hmm.
Is its primary function to be ingested?
Energy drinks?
Would it normally be consumed towards the end of a meal?
[Tuj] Having the usual? NO, not this time.
[Q] Primarily ingestible? NO.
[Chalky] Energy drink? NO.
[Phil] Finishing touch? NO.
Intended for topical application?
[Q] A dab here or there? YES. *generous applause from the audience*
suncream?
Lube?
How naughty!
[Chalky] SPF-something? NO.
[Q] Slippery stuff? NO. But I like the way you think. :-)
Moisturiser?
Condoms?
[Raak] Day or night cream? NO. *audience applauds nonetheless*
[Chalky] Barrier method? NO.
Cleanser?
[Chalky] Good clean fun? NO.
Lipsalve?
Toothpaste?
[Q] Good clean teeth? NO.
[Chalky] Lip salve? Well, not exactly -- hence my equivocating on the question of whether the thing was medicinal. The AOTC is actually the purely decorative (and much more fun) relative of lip salve --lip gloss-- but I think you are due the baton. Here, take this miniature one from my handbag! I hope Plum Passion is your shade.
for the win
[cfm] Mighty generous of you - in my mind lip balm, lip gloss and lip stick were also queuing for the limelight .. it was just a matter of timing.

Now - dare I unleash this ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections?
Fictional?
Animal = human?
a work of art?
A philosophy?
The bee's knees?
round up
[Gusset Login] Fictional? NO
[CdM] Animal = Human? YES
[NotJohn] Work Of Art? NO
[Phil] A philosophy? Erm .. NO
[Tuj] Knees of bees? NO
A human invention?
Associated with governance?
[Tuj] Human invention? YES
[Quendalon] Associated with governance? YES *audience stirs*
Surely it's anarcho-syndicalism then?
[Tuj] *fingers crossed*
[Tuj, Phil] Anarcho-syndicalism? Shurely NOT I'm afraid *audience murmuration*
Begins with a P?
Phew!
Related to the making of laws?
Associated with a specific individual?
A specific style of governance?
[Tuj] P? NO
[cfm] Related to law-making? YES
[CdM] Specific individual? YES
[nights] Specific style of governance? YES
Marxism?
[Gusset Login] Marxism? NO
Is the specific individual a politician?
Summat like democracy and all people being equal and all that sort of malarky?
[CdM] A politician? NO
[Dujon] Democracy equality malarky? NO
Named for the individal it's associated with?
[Quendalon] Named for the individual it's associated with? Am not clear what your "it's" is referencing (the AOTC?) - however I will respond with a cautious YES.
Does the individual's name appear as part of the AOTC?
[CdM] Name on AOTC? Not exactly .. *audience applauds question*
Is it Thatcherism?
Is the individual an ancient historic figure?
[nights] Thatcherism? NO
[cfm] Ancient historic figure? Could be.
Does the identity of the specific individual change over time?
That is, at any moment there is just one such individual, but it is not always the same person.
[CdM] Changing identity? YES *more applause*
A dictatorship?
Associated with a particular country?
Is there a religious connection in addition to the connection to governance?
[Phil] Dictatorship? NO
[Raak] Associated with a particular country? YES
[cfm] Also a religious connection? YES
Connected with Christianity?
A monarch?
Pope Francis?
[Quendalon] Christianity connection? Yes-ish
[Raak] A monarch? YES!!!! Yesyesyes!!!
[cfm] NO - not the Popey.
The King or Queen of England, Defender of the Faith
[Raak] The King or Queen of England, Defender of the Faith? Absolutely YES. That's the ANIMAL bit - now guess the ABSTRACT *audience senses a dénouement*
The British monarchy?
[Raak] The British monarchy certainly relates to the AOTC but you are travelling away from the solution. Most questions so far have centred on the Animal connection - the Abstract is yet to be resolved.
Order of Succession to the UK Throne?
Hair apparent?
[Phil] Order of Succession? NO
[GL] Hirsuteness? NO
The Supreme Governor of the Church of England?
Thought I'd answered this earlier ..
.. sorry to keep you. Now ..
[Raak] The Supreme Governor of the Church of England? If that's what she also is then I am bound to say YES.
However, that is not the AOTC. Having established some guesses back that Her Maj is the 'animal' perhaps some lateral thinking is required to find the 'abstract'.
In Her Majesty's case is this an event of some sixty years ago?
[Hi Dujon] An event? NO
.. can't reply if no-one asks :(
Am shortly away from the 'net until approx 2200 BST
Summary
We are looking for the name of a specific style of government. It was named after the current Queen of England and other people but only one at a time. It isn't Monarchy and doesn't begin with P.

Have I missed anything?
Divine Right?
Ends with -ism?
[Gusset Login] Thanks for your brave attempt at a summary ..
.. however - we are actually looking for an ABSTRACT which has the Queen of England as its ANIMAL connection ( and it still feels somewhat treasonable typing that ...)

As you were ;-)
continuum
NOT a style of government ... NOT a title. It certainly has the Queen of GB, Ireland, Dominions blah be blah etc. as its core but if you guessed a memorial ceramic plate with her face on it .. well that would be mineral obviously ... but you'd be closer than you have been thus far :-)
Elizabethanism?
It is I, Rosie.
[Tcb] Elizabethanism? NO.
My bad - didn't reply to [Raak] and [Quendalon] NO not divine right nor an -ism.
Is it a doctrine?
[Rosie] Thanks for joining in - but NO - it's not a doctrine or a philosophy etc.

Most of questions along these lines related purely to the Animal connection - very few have asked what type of Abstract this is. 'Is it a work of art' came the closest. For those that can be bothered I would suggest forget all that has gone before - concentrate on standard Abstract questioning ..
Coinage?
[gil] Coinage? NO - but *audience applauds this line of questioning*
The Divine Right of Kings?
Given that "to do with religion" was established.
[Phil] The Divine Right of Kings? Still NO. Religious connection was established to confirm the Animal, ie. Her Maj.
Having said that - one of the words in the AOTC is 'God'. < < < clue!
"Dieu et Mon Droit"?
straw-clutching
"God Save The King/Queen/Other"?
[Phil] Mon Dieu! Drat! NON
[Raak] God Save The King/Queen/Other? - that well-known phrase or saying [another standard Abstract question that wasn't asked] is about as close as it gets without being the AOTC
*audience cheering in desperation willing Raak, or anyone really, even a lurker, to make the leap .. *
Who are you, the Queen of England?
The National Anthem?
Is this an alternative title for the monarch?
Honi soit qui mal y pense?
[Phil] Pass us a straw, mate.
Allelulia Phil!
The Abstract is a SONG - the SONG is the AOTC which was 'The British National Anthem - God Save Our Gracious Queen' [who was the Animal connection all the way through]
Thank you Phil - here's a victorious, happy and glorious baton ...

Golly, thanks Chalky. Long did you reign over us with that one - chortle chortle!
Next up is

Mineral

Liquid?
Metal?
Commonly found in the household?
[Rosie] Liquid? NO
[CHalky] Metal? NO
[Quendalon] Household object? NO
Is it a mineral [ a naturally occurring inorganic solid etc] ?
[Chalky] A (well-defined) mineral? YES
Perovskite?
[Raak] Perovskite? NO
Clarification: I meant that it is composed of a mineral.
Man made?
[GL] Man made? Ummm, YES is the best answer, I believe as it would not be recognisable as what it is without mankind.
Asbestos?
Is it unique?
Does it naturally occur in nature?
[Raak] Asbestos? NO
[Quendalon] Unique? YES
[nights] Naturally in nature? Speaking strictly about the AOTC, NO.
Is it used as a building material?
Is the metal extracted from an ore (e.g. Aluminium from Bauxite)?
Does it move?
Is it a landmark?
[Rosie] Building material? The AOTC is not, but the substance of which it is composed is.
[Dujon] metal from an ore? NO
[Tuj] Does it move? NO
[GL] Landmark? NO
A cairn?
A wahoo from 60 yards.
Made from stone/rock?
Is it in Europe?
[Rosie] A cairn? NO
[Chalky] Made from stone/rock? YES. *some applause*
[Tuj] In Europe? YES
Made of diamond?
A natural geographical feature?
A mine?
[GL] Diamond? NO
[Rosie] Natural feature? NO
[Raak] Mine? NO
In the UK?
Smaller than a Range Rover?
[Tuj] In the UK? NO
[Chalky] Smaller than Range Rover? YES
A monument?
The Blarney Stone?
[Software] A monument? NO *audience stirs*
[Chalky] De Blarney Stone? NO
Begins with a P?
A statue?
[Tuj] P word? NO
[Chalky] A statue? YES *much applause*
In Italy?
[Software] In Italy? NO
The statue of liberty?
The one in France, obviously.
In Denmark?
[GL] Liberté? NON
[Chalky] .dk? NEJ
Is this a creation of Claude Michel?
[Dujon] Claude Michel? who? NO
This statue - a female human?
[Chalky] Female human statue? YES *Applause*
Venus de Milo?
[Chalky] VdM (any relation to CdM, I've often wondered?) - YES.
Congratulations, may I pass on this severed-arm-shaped baton to you.
*curtseys*
Thanks Phil. Not sure why I chased that one - given my absence from the internets, therefore this game, for the next week. I guess I enjoyed it :)

* tosses severed-arm-shaped baton into the air hoping someone will catch it before it lands and shatters into a thousand pieces*
*reaches for the baton, but not too aggressively on account of having held it twice recently*
Shall I grab it? Oh, all right then.
It is Abstract with Animal and Mineral connections.
Animals human?
Begins with a P?
*jumps*
The title of some work?
[Rosie] Human? Mostly, I would say
[Tuj] Pish? No P anywhere
[cfm] Title of some work? Googling actually says YES, not sure that it is helpful though.
A human invention?
Do the humans have a common purpose?
Is a horse likely to be associated with this person?
Supernatural?
[Tuj] Homogeneous? NO
[Rosie] Common purpose? Mmmm, maybe but largely NO
[Duj] Horsey? Perhaps figuratively but mainly NO
[Quen] Eerie? NO
A well knwon phrase or saying?
Is the mineral aspect metal?
[GL] Adage? YESish
[Phil] Metalic? NO not exclusively.
Whoops!
I must also rap my own wrist for just noticing that I omitted Vegetable from the definition.
Is the vegetable element wood?
Does the abstract result from human activity? (eg urbanisation)
Are any of the aspects a geographical location?
*taking an interest ..*
Wow - a whole week away and not a lot has happened.
So we have an Abstract with Animal Vegetable Mineral connections and have ascertained that it's a sort of well-known phrase or saying?
Is it a place?
[Phil] Wood? NO not exclusively
[Rosie] Global Warming? Mmmm, interesting but probably NO
[GL] Geographic? NO non specific but much rarer in some locations
[Chalky] Place? NO specific location.
A naturally occurring phenomenon?
A mental process?
[Chalks] Natural? YES
[cfm] Think? NO
Is agriculture part of this?
rm? in a way YES
A weather condition?
[Chalks] Meteo? YES
Raining cats and dogs?
Datsun cogs, old ladies and sticks etc.
[Rosie] Precipitation? - NO but chuckles and random clapping from audience
Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey?
[Phil] Chilly NO * audience chuckles and talks among themselves and some spontaneous clapping *
Something to do with climate change?
[Duj] Global warming? - NO * chattering and sporadic clapping in audience *
A Weather Forecast?
[Phil] Wet seaweed? - NO * audience murmuring and sporadic clapping *
Is the weather condition adverse?
[Rosie] Adverse? - YES. * audience getting excited *
The Shipping Forecast?
Does H2O (or lack of same) feature?
[Chalks] Forth, Tyne etc? NO
[Duj] Wet n'dry? - YES! * audience getting excited *
The Biblical Flood?
Would Rosie's last comment be the antithesis of the AOTC?
Does the AOTC take the format, "X as a Y"?
Does the AOTC relate to measuring weather?
[Rosie] Noah? - NO
[Duj] Oposite? - in a way but probably NO< br> [Quen] Logic? - NO but close
[Chalks] Meteo? - NO
Clue time: 4 words 2 the same relating to weather.
As right as rain?
[Chalks] Wet, wet , wet? - NO * gasps of anticipation and clapping from audience *
As dry as dust?
Are the two identical words "the"?
Hot as hell?
[Raak] Dusty - NO
[Rosie] Definite article?NO
[cfm] Bong! Right on the money!

As hot as hell is on the card. Well it felt that way when I kicked this one off! I hand over the iced baton to cfm.

Now that's a surprise. I was pretty much lost during all of that that round.
Well then, let's try ANIMAL WITH ANIMAL AND ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS
Is the primary animal human?
[Chalky] I suppose that I should have asked "Does it have any supernatural associations?" rather than the vaguer "Supernatural?"
[Q] Human first and foremost? YES.
Richard the Lionheart?
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
I'll behave next time ;)
Is the secondary animal canine?
Begins with P?
Me And You And A Dog Named Boo - Lobo?
[Quendalon] *confused face*?
[GL] Dickheart? NO
[Dujon] The end of the world as we know it? NO
[CdM] Woof? YES *audience is too awed to applaud*
[Tuj] Having the usual, I see? NO
[Chalky] That 70s sound? NO
Is the canine a specific, identified dog?
[CdM] Name that dog? After a bit of research (and also technically speaking), NO. But YES would not have been a bad answer. :-)
One man and his dog?
(Went to mow a meadow.)
Would Julius Caesar be pertinent to the AOTC?
Anubis?
[Chalky] Oops! That should have been aimed at Software.
fictional?
[GL] One plus one? NO
[Dujon] Roman rule? NO--at least not as far as I know or could identify from a Wikipedia search.
[Q] I want my mummy? NO
[Chalky] Storytime? NO
Is the human a specific, identified person?
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
[CdM] Can I see some ID, please? YES
[Chalky] "It's like they say..."? NO
Is this person alive?
[Tuj] Still among us? YES
Showbiz connection?
[Software] You oughtta be in pictures? YES, but I fear this may lead you astray. *nods among the audience*
Famous for doing something rather than who he/she is?
[GL] Real life action hero? YES.
Human=male?
[Chalky] Dude? YES
Has this man been depicted in film(s) but not appeared there?
[Dujon] I don't have sufficient knowledge answer your question. But I will answer another. YES, this man has appeared in films.
The abstract connection? Is that the 'films' bit? Documentaries?
I don't think I have sufficient knowledge of man with dog appearing in films .. so may withdraw my participation. Hope others demonstrate a little more curiosity ...
[Chalky] That's a big [YES] Don't drop out. :-( You've made an important connection!
Steve Irwin?
[Software] Mass market wildlife expert? NO
Hint: It might help to probe a little more on the abstract connection...
One Man And His Dog?
[Raak] Sheepdog drama? NO But one man and his dogs? YES :-)
Actaeon, torn apart by his own hounds?
[Raak] Bloody mess? NO. Was there a film about that? :-)
Are these multiple dogs all presented as if they were the same fictional dog (e.g. like when Lassie was periodically re-cast)
Has Timmy fallen down the well, again?
Is this USA-centric?
[Projoy, GL] Lass-a-likes? NO
[Chalky] Red, white and blue? YES and NO. The human is American. The dogs, I believe, are ethnically German.
Is he an explorer?
Are the dogs Dalmatians?
[cfm] Film? I don't know, but I'd watch it if there was.
Christopher Plummer and the Hounds of Munich?
I am completely stumped!
[Chalky] Explorer? NO, not unless you are speaking metaphorically.
[Raak] Spot the AOTC? NO *audience applauds enthusiastically at this line of questioning*
[Phil] Von Trapped? NO. (hint: the human is not an actor, although he has appeared on TV and in film.)
Is there a succession of dogs, rather than a number of dogs at one time?
If that makes sense. I'm remembering when I chose the MGM lion and discovered there had been (I think) four of them.
[CdM] YES and NO. There was at least one well-known succession but there have also been multiple simultaneous dogs. (Is it just me, or does that sound kinda dirty?)
Are the dogs Alsations/German Shepherds?
Just for my own clarification purposes.
Is the abstract connection musical?
[Dujon] A/GSs? NO *audience still approves of this line of questioning*
(Also, it's just you.)
[CdM] Rhythm and rhyme and harmony? NO *audience applauds nonetheless*
cartoon/cgi dachshunds?
Clearly I haven't the foggiest what this is .. don't know why I'm bothering.
Or even dancing dogs?
Is the abstract connection artistic?
You did say we should pursue it...
Turner and Hooch?
[Chalky] Dancing cartoon dachshunds? NO *audience claps encouragingly*
[CdM] But is it art? YES *loud cheering*
[Phil] Tom Hanks? NO The AOTC only has a tangential connection to show biz.

To summarize, we are talking about a contemporary American artist (male) working with multiple dogs of a German breed that is not the shepherd or Dachsund. He has appeared on at least two famous American TV shows and in his own films. I will add that those appearances may not be the only connection to film. And I will apologize for choosing what appears to be an extremely obscure AOTC. My guess, however, is that many of you would recognize this man's (iconic, really) work, which is held in the permanent collections of major museums including the the Museum of Modern Art in New York and the Smithsonian. A quick scan of his biography informs me that his work has also been exhibited in London, Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, Munich, Seoul and Singapore.
Pinschers?
[Projoy] Police pup? NO
And I think it's time I put an end to the misery of this round. Sorry I picked such tough one. The furry baton goes to the first person who grabs it. And for those who are interested, the AOTC is revealed here.
It's good to learn new stuff
[cfm] I feel sure the AOTC would have been solved at some point. We are also missing some of our more, shall we say - forensic? gameplayers.
Chalky I'll take the fresh baton, thanks. I did give up a turn a few weeks back.
And now for a puzzler that everyone will have heard of .. A N I M A L
Human?
[cfm] You are too hard on yourself! I had certainly heard of the AOTC and know the photographs. I think I ended up getting stuck on the film angle, even though you did warn us that it might be a red herring.
An individual, unique animal?
[cfm] I'd never heard of him, but one man's obvious being another man's obscure is part of the fun of life.
[Phil] An individual, unique animal? NO
*points quietly at CdM's question*
[CdM] Human? NO
A pet?
Alive?
[Dujon] A Pet? NO
[CdM] Alive? YES
Found in UK?
A mammal?
[Softers] In UK ? YES
[CFM] Mammal? NO
An arachnid?
An insect?
A duck?
[Dujon] Arachnid? Technically NO .. *applause*
[Rosie] ... Insect? YES *enthusiastic applause*
[Sir Bedevere] Duck? NO
Can it sting?
Does one generally enounter them as a swarm or infestation -- as opposed to a lone bug?
[Rosie] Sting? Not 'sting' exactly ...
[cfm] Swarm or infestation? YES *audience getting excited*
*chances it* Mosquitos?
Midges?
Does it belong to the order of Hymenoptera?
Please ignore that, Chalky. From personal experience I know only too well that some of them can indeed sting.
[cfm] Mosquitos? NO
[Rosie] Midges? NO
*ignores Dujon's question*
Locusts?
Do they fly?
ladybirds?
[Raak] Locusts? NO
[CdM] Do they fly? NO
[Softers] Ladybirds? NO
This can be solved within 20 questions if you look back to where the audience got a bit excited ...
Ants?
They're made of Formica.
[Rosie] Formica Ants? NO
Do they attack vegetation?
Fleas?
Is this a common parasite found on humans?
[Rosie] Attackers of veg? NO
[cfm] fleas? NO
[Dujon] Common parasite found on humans? YES - three quarters of your question is correct, the other quarter half correct! *audience senses a result*
Lice?
As soon as I typed the word I started scratching...
Bed bugs?
Tapeworms?
Being in humans rather than on them.
[CdM] Lice? NO
[Raak] Tapeworms? NO

But Software has it on the 21st question - the AOTC being Bed bugs.
*gingerly hands over an insecticide-sprayed baton*
Well I'm Blowed!
* Carefully accepts baton from Chalky wearing surgical gloves *

Twice in quick succession. Well, well!

Now what do we have here? Another ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

* Scantily clad girl parades the answer card in front of the audience *

Pornography?
[Phil] *laughs*
A human idea or concept?
A fictional place?
Unique?
[Phil] DIY passtime? - NO
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
[GL] Fairy story? - NO
[Duj] Only one? - depends on pedantic interpretation but generally NO
Humans with a common purpose?
[Rosie] Mass conciseness? - NO (although may be disputed when the AOTC is revealed, perhaps)
Are there animal connections other than human?
Is this an idea, political or social, say?
[cfm] Bestial - NO (although some may dispute this)
[Rosie] Conceptual? - YES
Anarcho-syndicalism?
[GL] Direct Action - NO (I had to look that up so no chance of it being the AOTC!)
Anything to do with economics?
Does it begin with P?
Is it a sandwich?
[Rosie] Money, money money? - NO * a few claps from the audience and some chattering *
[CdM] P-ish - NO
[Chalks] Cheese and tomato on brown? - NO
Virgin Trains?
[Rosie] West coast delays? - NO I suppose they could be described as abstract * chuckles from audience *
Is this a symbol of something (e.g. a coat of arms or a flag)?
[Duj] Symbolic? - NO
Is it a place?
A whole week and very little interest in this one ..
Is it a well-known phrase or saying?
Is it connected to the arts?
Multi-Chalks: Place? - NO; Saw? - NO * stiring in audience * ; Arty-farty? - NO (only indirectly but that could be misleading)
A political theory?
[Rosie]Dogma? - NO
A personal philosophy or way of living?
[cfm] karma? - NO
Something to do with language?
[cfm] Chatter? - NO
Conneted to religion?
[GL] Belief? - NO
A scientific theory or hypethesis?
[Rosie] Good science? - NO
Is this a physical 'thing'?
[Duj] Physical? - NO this is an abstract concept that like many such has a physical side effect but the AOTC (3 words by the way) will make this clear
Bored to death?
Anything to do with fear?
[Chalks] Ennui? - NO maybe the participants are becoming that
[Rosie] Scary? - NO
Is this a relatively modern idea?
[Rosie] Newish? - YES end of 19 Century apparently
Anything to do with health matters?
Modern? Newish? End of 19th Century - that's 18 hundred and something! Did you just say YES so that it doesn't look as though everyone except Rosie has had a NO for the last fortnight? :-)
Anything to do with Trade Unionism?
(Chalky) 1899 is only yesterday. My Dad was alive.
[Chalks] Healthy? - NO not directly anyway- recent well not BC is it?
[Rosie] All out? - NO * some stirring in the audience *
Modern Olympic Games?
Health and Safety?
Is this a form of revolution?
[Chalks] 5 rings - NO
[Rosie] H&S Gestapo? - NO
[Duj] Uprising? - NO you are all drifting away from ABSTRACT.

CLUE: there is more than one of these

Is it a Lifestyle Choice?
Softers - please can you do a summary to say what it's NOT. Ta :-)
[Chalks] My way? - NO anyone can do it, most do.

SUMMARY - Concentrate on the ABSTRACT. It is not: a fairy story, a life choice, a saying, a game, a passtime, scientific, religious or other social theory, nothing to do with language, politics philosophy or art. ANIMAL connection is strong the others less so. Good luck, it ain't that hard!

Is it culture-specific?
[CdM] Foible? - YES - well to qualify, the AOTC is AFIK but the principle isn't
Associated primarily with the UK?
[CdM] Blighty? - YES, primarily, the AOTC is anyway.
Is it an activity, i.e. something that one does?
[Phil] Out and about? - YES and NO, perhaps is the best answer.
Is the AOTC a present participle?
as "yes and no" isn't a very useful answer :)
[Phil] Grammatical? NO The AOTC has 3 words none of which are the definite or indefinite article. Hint: When the question was set it was in the future, now it is in the past.
Does the AOTC define/describe a period of time?
The August Bank Holiday Weekend?
[Phil] Time slot? - YES
[GL] August Bank Holiday - YES!

Hurrah! * hands over Brighton rock shaped sticky baton to GL at last *

Well, that took a pointlessly long time. So, a simple ANIMAL this time.
Is it human?
[Software] were the mineral and vegetable connections the bank?
[Phil] - Human? YES have a baton. (I said it was easy)
Hahaha! Why thank you, GL!
OK, so the next one is

ANIMAL & VEGETABLE

Is the vegetable wood?
Food or drink?
[GL] Wood? NO
[Raak] Food/Drink? YES *Some early applause*
A falling out between you and Rosie?
[Dujon] Me and the old geezer coming to blows? NO!
Hidden textI'd love to know who's the vegetable...actually, maybe I wouldn't :-)
Meat and two veg?
Is it a sandwich?
[Raak] Meat+2Veg? NO
[Chalky] Sarnie? NO
Pork scratchings?
Does it need to be cooked?
[Software] Scratchings? NO
[Rosie] Need to be cooked? NO (although a perverse minuscule part of me wants to say YES)
Is the vegetable to be found in a greengrocer's?
I decline to answer your previous question (hidden) on the ground that ... ;)
[Dujon] Greengrocer's vegetable? NO
Is it an animal product?
Is the animal fish?
[Chalky] Animal product? YES *a little applause*
[GL] Fish? NO
A traditional British sausage (50% breadcrumbs)?
Is dairy produce involved?
[Raak] A banger? NO
[GL] Dairy involved? YES *some more applause*
A pizza?
Does the AOTC include a reference to a U.K. country?
Is cheese the animal element?
[Rosie] Pizza? NO
[Dujon] UK reference? NO
[Chalky] and cheesey? NO
Is it sweet rather than savoury?
[CdM] Sweet? The AOTC is not sweet.
Is yoghurt involved?
[GL] Yoghurt? NO
Is the vegetable element made from grain?
[cfm] Grain? NO
Milk?
[Software] Milk? YES, milk is involved *applause*
Are cookies also involved?
[Raak] Cookie? NO
Is it in anyway responsible for bringing boys to the yard?
[GL/Kelis] Your milkshake? NO
Ambrosia Creamed Rice?
[Chalky] Devon knows how they make it so creamy? NO
Is it casein?
[Software] Casein? NO
A comment
Rosie's question "Does it need to be cooked?" continues to weigh on my mind. No Anglophone would say that they cook the Answer on the Card, but cooking of some sort or other is involved in the process of turning naturally occurring ingredients into the AOTC.
Is it a salad of some sort?
Weirdly enough .. the cooking thing .. was the one reply which has completely thrown my train of thought ...
A biscuit of some kind?
[Chalky] Salady? NO
[Rosie] Biscuity? NO
Butter?
Custard?
[Chalky] Butter? NO
[GL] Custard? NO
OH NO !!!!!
I've just reviewed my answers and noticed that when Chalky asked "Is it an animal product", I said "YES". I should specify that only the animal part is an animal product, the vegetable part isn't. Hope that helps ! :-)
PANIC OVER!!!
[Phil] Fret ye not - that's what I meant.
In summary: The AOTC is 'Animal Product' plus a 'Vegetable' (but not a vegetable to be found in a greengrocer) somehow linked together. Edible/Potable. Doesn't need to be cooked. Milk is involved.
I'll now ask a question, if I may ...
Is there an alcoholic content to this?
[Chalky] Alcoholic? NO
A bit more summary
One would not "cook" the AOTC but some form of "cooking" is involved at some point in creating the AOTC from naturally occurring ingredients.
Is yeast involved?
[Phil] Thanks - I was thinking fermentation - hence the alcohol question.
[Chalky] Yeast? NO
Sour cream and chive flavoured crisps?
A hint...
A follow-up to the 2nd question asked (Rosie's first) would be useful.
Drink?
[Chalky] Drink? YES *relieved applause*
A skinny latte or somesuchlike?
[Chalky] A latte? CORRECT. Congratulations! Now does my dithering over "cooked" make sense? Anyway, have this tax-avoiding baton...
Thanks Phil - we managed to sort that one out between ourselves :)
*raises a tasse of full fatte latte*

Staying with the Keep It Simple agenda - here's a lively little A N I M A L
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES
Is/was this person short in stature?
[Dujon] Is/was this person short in stature? YES
Napoleon?
[Software] Napoleon? NO
Is this person alive?
[Software] Napoleon wasn't short, apparently, he was just portrayed as short for propaganda purposes. A bit of googling, and my suspicions are confirmed. He was about 5'7" (1.70m), over 2 inches taller than average for France at the time, and just about exactly average for the UK. Reference here
[Phil] Is this person alive? YES
re. Boney - grossly misrepresented ... poor sod.
An entertainer?
Does this person have a name consisting of two identical syllables?
[Rosie] An entertainer? NO
[Dujon] A name consisting of two identical syllables? NO
Nicolas Sarkozy?
keeping with the French theme ...
There's a French theme..???
[Software] Nicolas Sarkozy? NON
Sandy Toksvig?
(Appolgies for the spelling I don't have time to check it.)
[GL] Sandy Toksvig? NO
John Bercow?
[Rosie] John Bercow? NO

This is supposed to be a nice easy quick one - random guesses of allegedly vertically-challenged individuals will lead nowhere .. and I'm already bored
Male?
British?
Under 35?
3 yesses!
[Rosie] Male? YES
[Software] British? YES
[Gusset Login] Under 35? YES
Is he a 'child prodigy'?
[Dujon] Child prodigy? Not exactly a prodigy ..*huge cheer from audience*
George, prince of cambridge?
YES - the very chap! HRH George, Prince of Cambridge.
*Hands silver-spoon shaped baton to Gusset Login*
Thank you. I guess he is a little short for a stormtrooper.

OK. This one is a MINERAL with possible abstract and animal connections.
Is this a unique object?
Metallic?
Manufactured?
[Phil] Unique? YES
[Software] Metal? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? Um... it is man-made, if that's what you mean, but not mass produced, obviously.
A monument or statue?
[Software] Monument or Statue? YES. *Applause*
In England?
[Rosie] England? NO.
A well known male sans fig leaf?
[Dujon] A well known male without a fig leaf? As written, the answer has to be 'partly'. As intended, the answer would be very much NO. Take your pick.
Rodin's The Thinker?
[Software] The thinker? NO.

To clarify my answer to Dujon, the AOTC involves the image of a man who is not wearing a fig leaf but does not involve naked men in any way that I know of.
Is it a statue of just one person?
A political figure?
In Europe?
[Phil] A statue of just one person? The statue part of it is of one person.
[Rosie] A political figure? YES.
[Software] In Europe? NO.
In America?
[Gravy] 'Mer'ca? Yes
The Lincoln Monument?
Does the word Washington appear on the card?
[Dujon] Does Washington feature? NO
[Phil] Lincoln Monument/Memorial? YES. Have a baton purchased from the John Wilkes booth.
I have to give credit to the film "Night at the Museum 2" for raising my awareness of the Lincoln Monument, and more recently the 50th anniversary of the "I have a dream" speech, without which I would never have guessed that.
Anyway, onwards and upwards....our next AVMA is

Abstract with Animal

Is it a sandwich?
[Chalky] A sandwich? Alas, NO
Phrase or saying?
[Software] Phrase or saying? NO
One of the Seven Deadly Sins?
... or all of them?
[Chalky] A sin or seven? NO
A fictional person?
Grand Theft Auto V?
[GL] A fictional person? On this occasion I'll be generous and allow you the two questions in one - YES and NO
[Chalky] GTA V? NO
A fictional animal?
[Chalky] Fictional animal? YES *some applause*
A mermaid?
skippy?
A named individual fictional animal?
[Software] Mermaid? NO
[GL] Skippy? NO
[Raak] Named individual fictional animal? YES *a little more applause*
Created by A.A.Milne?
Has this named fictional animal appeared in more than one of the following media: book, film, TV, radio, grand opera?
[Dujon] A.A.Milne? NO
[CdM] In more than one of: book. film, TV, radio, grand opera? YES
A Disney character?
[Lovely Gravy] Disney? NO
Human?
Nobody has checked this yet.
Dog?
[Software] Actually, I did.
Was the creator male?
[Software] Human? NO (yes to fictional animal, no to fictional person, hence not a person. You are correct that nobody asked that question directly though)
[GL] Dog? YES *more applause*
[Dujon] Male creator? YES
Any connection with the Simpsons?
[Lovely G] Connection with the Simpsons? YES, but not an important connection, IMHO.
Greyfriar's Bobby?
Did this character first appear in print?
Did they first appear on TV?
[Software] Greyfriar's Bobby? NO
[Dujon] First appearance in print? YES
[GL] First appearance on TV? NO (see above)
Lassie?
[Ye Olde Softeware] Lassie? NO
Was s/he introduced in a childrens' story?
[Dujon] In a children's story? NO
Astonised of Berkshire
Ooops, not sure what happened there, but I thought I'd add a summary, just to help out, as I thought this would be simple. Not that there's much to summarize.
This is a fictional dog; created by a man; has appeared in multiple media (from the list: book, film, tv, radio, Grand Opera), but first appeared in print; has a slight link to The Simpsons (which is unlikely to be useful).
The AOTC was not created by A.A.Milne; is not a Disney character; is neither Greyfriars Bobby nor Lassie; was not introduced in a children's story.
The hound of the baskervilles?
[GL] HotB? NO
Toto
[Chalky] Toto? NONO
Created by Homer?
[Dujon] A Homeric character? NO
A clue
An assumption appears to have been made.
Is it a cartoon dog?
.. such as Scooby Doo?
[Chalky] A cartoon dog? YES *Much applause*
[Ibid.] Scooby Doo? NO *oohs, aahs and groans of disappointment*
Snoopy?
and the Red Baron
[Software] Snoopy? YES!
My childhood hero. I still drink out of a Snoopy mug at work, which even has a Snoopy stand to sit on. Such is my fondness for the special beagle, that when I tried this AVMA on family members, and as soon as I said "fictional dog", they guessed it. The assumption, of course, was that "print" referred to books. Also, The Simpsons makes several nods in the direction of Peanuts and Snoopy - e.g. "Hungry, Hungry Homer" which was on C4 last week finds Homer asleep on top of the kennel, and Bart says "Good grief!" more here.
Here, Software, take this flying helmet, goggles and scarf set - may it serve you well!
Well, well. I'm getting too good at this.
Can I think of something that won't cause as much trouble as last time?

Let's try this, then:

MINERAL with ANIMAL and Vegetable connections.

Sorry Software - too complicated - only kidding.
But whilst we're about it, PLEASE answer the questions in a straightforward manner ... takes bloody ages to work out what you're trying to reply to usually! ;-)
:o(
Sorry, sorry, sorry ...
A building?
Margarine?
A planet?
Man-made?
[Raak] A building? - NO (not as such)
[Phil] Margarine? - NO can tell talk from mutter
[GL] A planet - NO * some discussion and shuffling among the andience *
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
A satellite?
An international project?
[Phil] Satellite? - YES
[Duj] International? - YES
The ISS?
[Raak} ISS? - YES!

Please accept this SpaceX shaped baton

The next is, nowdays, mostly MINERAL.
man made?
Yes, man made
Is it something that was previously made from wood?
Ex-wood? No.
Concrete?
[Software] *amusement in the audience* Not concrete.
Made of plastic?
< Toaster < ?
[Rosie] Not really made of plastic, as ordinary people use the word, but an industrial chemist might disagree.
[Software} Bigger than a toaster.
Does it have moving parts?
[LG] *more amusement* It certainly does.
Is it elastic?
Something to support or suspend a human?
[Phil] Not elastic.
[Dujon] Yes! It supports or suspends a human. That might give slightly the wrong idea, but it definitely does that.
Might this be found in a fairground?
[LG] Not in a fairground.
Float on water?
[Software] About as well as a dog walks on its hind legs.
Is it primarily a form of transportation?
Some form of seating?
[LG] *applause* It is a form of transportation.
[Rosie] Not a form of seating.
Is it a form of footwear?
[Phil] Not footwear.
Does it have two wheels?
Swing bridge?
[LG] Does not have two wheels.
[Software] Not a swing bridge.
Is it "traditional" such as a rickshaw?
[Rosie] Not traditional.
Does it have wheels?
[Phil] No wheels at all.
Is the 'transportation' generally vertical?
[Dujon] Exclusively vertical, as in a lift? No.
Bobsleigh?
[GL] Not a bobsleigh.
Does on stand on it?
Might this be found at an airport?
[Phil] Interpreting the preposition strictly, one does not stand on this.
[LG] Not primarily found at airports.
Hang glider?
Is it a form of airborne transport?
[GL] Not a hang glider.
[Phil] *applause* Yes! A form of airborne transport.
Parachute?
Is heated air an important part of its propulsion?
[GL] Not a parachute.
[Dujon] *cheering* Yes! Heated air! Therefore it is...?
a political campain?
A hot-air balloon?
(GL) I can see your point, but it's Mineral. :-)
[GL] Not a political campaign.
[Rosie] A hot air balloon! Hold this mooring cable for a moment, will you? Oops...don't let go!
Oh shoot!
I was thinking hot-air balloon when I asked my last question, but didn't want to make the leap of faith. Congrats, Rosie.
Moving parts? Where exactly?
Also, did not get the 'dog on hind legs' reference to its ability to float on water. Surely an inflated balloon would float very well.
[LG] The whole thing moves! The gondola wouldn't float very well, and once the water puts the fire out, neither will the balloon.
Yay! Let's hear it for Charles' Law.

OK, this next one is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS

Are the animal connections of a human nature?
(Phil) Human? Just about, i.e. YES
Phrase or saying?
(Softers) Not a phrase or saying.
Is the abstract a human behaviour?
(Duj) Not a human beviour.
Is there a connection to football?
Or is there a connection to the Tory Party?
Is it an institution or organisation type thing?
(CdM) It would take a conspiracy theorist of a high order to connect this with either of your suggestions.
(Phil) Strictly no, but possibly in a figurative sense.
Fictional?
Is there a misical connection?
Sorry, musical
(LG) Essentially no musical connection.
Fictional human(ish)?
(Softers) No. Real humans.
Is it a system of government?
(GL) Not a form of government. *slight amusement in the audience*
If not strictly an organisation, is it an informal collective of individuals?
(LG) Rather the opposite of informal.
OK then, a formal collective of individuals?
(Phil) Not a collective.
A different tack is needed.
Related to media?
(cfm) Media-related? YES.
A business cabal of some kind?
(Dujon) Not a business cabal.
Related to the news?
(GL) Not connected with the news.
Related to entertainment?
A spin doctor?
(cfm) Related to entertainment? YES.
(Softers) Spin doctors? The very last thing need by the AOTC. So, er, NO.
Are sattelites involved?
(Dujon) No satellites, natural or otherwise.
Related to prestidigitation?
Specifically related to television?
(Softers) No sleight of hand involved.
(cfm) Telly? YES. *applause*
An announcer?
(Softers) No, not an announcer, not even the mellifluous Charlotte Green. :-(
"Reality" television?
(cfm) Not "reality" television.
Is it the name of a TV programme?
(Lovely Gravy) The name of a TV programme? YES. *audience animation*
Surely not Paxman?
(Software) Paxman? He is certainly involved.
University Challenge?
(CdM) Morniverse - JOHN! Of course it is. Well done. I hand you the furry animal. And it's goodnightfrommegoodnight.
Yes, well, that wasn't quite a lurker's victory, since I did ask questions earlier on, but I clearly stood on the shoulders of slightly-taller-than-average people, there.

This isVEGETABLE with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
A leek?
Edible?
Leek? No.
Edible? No.
The True Cross?
Paxman?
True Cross? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Paxman? No.
An artefact?
Is it a cauliflower with aspirations to become a moose?
Is it made of wood?
Artifact? No.
Upwardly-mobile cauliflower? No.
Wooden? Yes.
Is the abstract a religious matter?
Abstract = religious? Yes. *applause*
Is the religion Christianity?
A crucifix?
Christianity? No.
Crucifix? No.
Native American?
Native American? No.
In a round about way could the animal portion involve bats?
Bats? Er. As far as I know it would have to be very roundabout.
Used in the course of prayer?
The use-mention distinction
Used in prayer? No (though I am not sure if it is ever mentioned in the course of prayer; I suppose it might be).
Is the animal connection human?
Just to prevent misplaced assumptions
Is the religion Roman Catholic?
Roman Catholic? No. (We already knew it is not Christianity)
Is it made in the form of the animal connection?
Oops, missed Phil's question.
Animal connection = human? The main animal connection is human, yes. (There are also many other less direct animal connections, both human and nonhuman.)
Made in the form of the animal connection? No.
Would this be most likely to have been constructed in Russia?
Could this be lifted by a person of average proportions?
Sorry, missed the Christianity bit.
Constructed in Russia? No.
Liftable? No.
Does it relate to a specific religion?
Specific religion? Yes.
Is the religion Buddhism?
Let's home in a bit
Buddhism? Yes. *applause*
A temple?
The Bodhi Tree?
Is it carved?
Getting right to the point
The Bodhi tree? Yes! *takes chainsaw, fells tree, and fashions baton for Chalky*
Oooops
A genuine Lurker's Victory - thanks to all who set up my re-entry to this game.

A N I M A L
Dame Shirley Williams?
[Gusset Login] Dame Shirley Williams? Inspired - but NO.
Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then?
Sorry for not taking this too seriously at the moment. Things will improve.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then? Eff'n NO.
[Basics] Is the animal human? YES
Is the human alive?
[Phil] Is the human alive? YES
Is this a female?
A politician?
Is this person's native language English?
.. thought I'd replied already
And again ..
[LG] Female? Might be.
[Rosie] Politician? Might be.
[CdM] Native language English? Might be.
Is this one specific person?
Is it a group of people with a common goal (e.g. a choir or a football team)?
[Phil] One specific person? Most likely - so YES.
[Dujon] Group of people? Most unlikely - so NO.
Culture specific?
[CdM] Culture specific? Not sure what you mean - culture is a big word. I'd say NO.
A particular role or post?
[Software] Particular role/post? This person certainly has a role/part to play so a tentative Yes.
At the moment you are reading this, is the AOTC a single identifiable individual?
[CdM] Single identifiable individual? Well spotted - NO.
.. but I still think the additional word ABSTRACT would have been misleading. You may disagree .. :)
Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC?
Sorry - been out and about and away from t'interwebs ...
[Phil] Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC? Not a scooby doo - NO
Is the person a creation of one's imagination?
Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us?
[Rosie] Is the person a creation of ones imagination? NO
[CdM] Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us? NO
An actor?
Does this person perform a service?
[Software] An actor? Unlikely but can't say for sure.
[Rosie] Perform a service? Insomuch as they are the subject of this puzzle - I have to say yes.
Have you met someone who is an AOTC?
[CdM] Have I met someone who is an AOTC? This particular someone is the only one who *could* be the AOTC. Whether or not I've met them already is irrelevant.
Will the AOTC be selected at birth?
[GL] Will the AOTC be selected at birth? NO .. what an odd question!
Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC?
If so, it's Not Fair.
[Rosie] Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC? NO - but I like your thinking! *Audience senses a breakthrough*
CdM?*
*(being the winner of this round)
I think that counts as a win, Monsieur C de M.
The actual Words On The Card are The Person Who Guesses That They Are The Winner Of This Round.
I toyed with the notion of adding ABSTRACT to the description but really couldn't be bothered with the standard questioning that might've come my way ;-)

Besides - you ARE a real person, aren't you?

*baton fashions itself into CdM-shape and flies to Daddy*
Interestingly, though Rosie's answer was not the answer on the card, it was a correct answer.
ANIMAL
Indeed it was.
Human?
[Chalky] Congrats on your delightfully bewildering round - that was fun!
Dame Shirley Williams?
Human?
(CdM) I'm flattered, despite the logical impasse. Not to worry - all statements made by ethnic-Welsh Londoners are false anyway.
Human? Yes. *some audience murmuring, which abates when they read the footnotes on the card*
Shirley Williams? No.
Human? Yes. *no murmuring, because the audience members have read the footnotes on the card*
Human with footnotes?
An armless pianist?
Human with footnotes? Yes. Your point? (OK. I think the most useful answer is yes. But it is possible to claim that a simple Yes is misleading.)
Handicapped pianist? No.
Is this a named human?
Is this more than one human?
Is this less than one human?
Good questions
Named human? No.
More than one human? The AOTC is not more than one human. *smattering of applause, nonetheless*
Less than one human? Yes. *some applause, and some discussion among the more pedantic audience members*
A severed head?
Severed head? No.
A diminutive human?
Small person? No. ("Less than a human", Software??)
blood?
Only human?
pre-birth?
Part of a specific human?
Blood? No.
Only human? This is where the footnotes come in. I am thinking of the AOTC in a sense specific to humans, but it can apply to other animals as well. You will almost certainly find it more helpful just to think about humans, though.
Pre-birth? No.
Part of a human? Yes. Part of a specific human? No.
A limb?
Limb? No.
An organ?
I nearly asked "Nigel Farage?" given the "Less than a human" answer :-)
Alive?
An organ? No.
Alive? No. *a little audience muttering*
Anything to do with medical research (stem cells etc)?
A cadaver?
Fingernails?
A beard or whiskers?
Medical research? No.
Cadaver? No.
Fingernails? No.
Beard/whiskers? Not the AOTC, but *massive applause*
A mustache?
A moustache? Yes! I am currently growing one as part of Movember (one of the founders of which is an alumni of the school where I now teach). I haven't had a moustache (without beard) since I was about 18, I think—and, if I do say so myself, I think it looks absolutely hideous. So if you feel like throwing support towards my Movember team, you can click here. It is a worthwhile cause.
*plucks out hairs one by one* and weaves them into a baton for cfm*

*ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!
Sorrysorrysorry
Alumnus. As you were.
*clicks*
*is positively crushed to find no photo of moustachioed CdM*
*donates*
Okay, this next one is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL ASSOCIATIONS
The idea of CdM with a moustache?
[Raak] *laughs* but NO :-)
A dog's life?
[cfm] Thank you. For a sufficiently large donation I will send you a photograph of someone with a moustache that, for all you know, could be me.
A fictional human?
[CdM] Er...not that crushed. :-)
Familiar phrase featuring pups? NO.
[GL] NO. The AOTC is abstract. I think that is the proper answer to your question...
Would many people consider the abstract to be a form of art?
Is the abstract associated with animal behaviour?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Dujon] Art for the masses? NO
[Rosie] Oh, behave!? YES
[Chalky] Famous expression? NO
Is this behaviour regarded as a good thing?
[Rosie] Well-behaved? YES and NO. There a number of animal behaviors associated with the AOTC. Some are good, some are not.
The mating season?
[Rosie] Fun and games? NO. *a few murmurs from the audience*
A form of 'showing off'?
[Dujon] Theatricality? YES. There is an element of theatricality associated with the behavior that is associated with the AOTC. (Reminding everyone that the behavior is not the AOTC.)
Acting the fool?
[Software] Fool me once? NO
Is fear involved?
A song?
[Rosie] Scary stuff? YES, in some instances. But many other emotions might also be associated.
[Chalky] A musical solution? NO. But come to think, there is a movie title closely related to the AOTC...FWIW. :-)
A board contest?
[Dujon] Board contest? Not sure what you mean. A board game like Monopoly? NO. A skate boarding contest? NO. Opposition to someone's nomination to a Board of Directors? NO. Or did you mean something else?
Is the AOTC a result or consequence of the associated behaviors we've been discussing?
[Chalky] A result of the behaviors? YES *audience applauds vigorously*
Is the AOTC a performance?
[Phil] Showtime? NO. Not in the traditional sense. But metaphorically speaking, one could relate it to a finale. *audience applauds encouragingly*
Is there a connection to sleep?
[GL]Perchance to dream? NO
Is this an abstract 'thing' awarded as a result of a result?
Sorry for the earlier rather broad question.
[Dujon] An award? I think the best answer is NO, not in the traditional sense of honoring or gifting someone. But but but...*audience encourages this line of thinking with hoots and hollers*
Is this an accolade?
Peer pressure?
[Phil] Highest praise? NO.
[Rosie] Everybody's doing it? NO, that is not the AOTC. However, since peer pressure is frequently one of the behaviors that results in the AOTC...*audience continues to applaud*
Posting to Youtube?
The herd instinct?
[GL] YouPost? NO
[Rosie] Bovine behavior? NO
Dieting?
[Chalky] Losing it? NO.
Let's have a look at where we are.
The AOTC is not a behavior in and of itself. It is the result of more than one behavior. Though no one asked specifically, the AOTC is the result of human behavior. One of behaviors associated with the AOTC has an element of performance about it though it is not a performance in the traditional fine art or entertainment sense. If the behavior were a performance, however, the AOTC could be likened to the finale of same. Peer pressure is often involved. Though not an award per se, one or more of the behaviors associated with giving an an award are also associated with the AOTC. I will throw in for free that the AOTC is a noun.
Are the people engaging in these behaviours part of a specific profession?
[CdM] On the job? YES. Professional behavior is involved.*approving applause*
A degree?
[Chalky] It's academic? NO. But *applause* because that's a noun and the final result of a series of behaviors.
a job promotion?
[Chalky] Climbing the ladder? NO.
An ASBO?
Anything to do with sport?
[GL] An acronym I had to look up? NO.
[Rosie] Sportsman-like? NO. But there are winners and losers associated. *applause*
Is it generally a negative acheivement?
By which I mean, for example, the 'wooden spoon' in a sporting tournament.
[Lovely Gravy] Unhappy face? MAYBE. (See "there are winners and losers associated" above.)
Does the noun relate to marriage?
Does the abstract noun relate to death?
[Dujon] Love or marriage? NO.
[Chalky] Mortality? NO.
Does this occur in a particular geographical location?
Twenty-nine questions over twenty days might indicate scant interest in this little puzzler - even my curiousity meter is twitching around 'indifferent'.
So it's not connected to love, marriage, birth, death, academia, job development, sport or the performing arts - is not a well-known phrase or saying or an an 'award', per se?
Does it involve a voting procedure?
Is it connected to the medical profession?
Would this have been possible 30 years ago?
[Chalky] Particular geographical location? NO, it happens in many locations.
[Chalky 2] Involves voting? YES, often.
[Chalky 3] Medical connection? YES and NO. It is not a critical connection but some of the most famous examples include a medical connection.
[Chalky 4] Possible 30 years ago? YES. And also 300 years ago.
*vigorous applause for the somewhat indifferent player*
Is this a leadership matter?
I've given up.
I apologize. I guess I am really bad at this game. Next time i get the baton, I will just pass it on.
The AOTC is "verdict" -- in the legal sense, the finale of a trial, which involves some degree of performance on the part of both attorneys and witnesses...and which also involves voting, at least in my experience as a juror.
[cfm] Sorry you feel the need to apologise - there was nothing wrong with your choice really.
Something I've said before on more than one occasion ... I think it helps to reply to a question without changing the questioner's original wordage. Spinning a question forces a 'double read' which can get tiresome. It can also mislead, eg. your reply to CdM's key question regarding a specific profession didn't inspire a rigorous follow-up and perhaps should have?
[Chalky] Thank you for the advice.
*raises, then lets the baton fall once on the desk and leaves it for whomever*
[cfm] I've only been in the chair once. It can be quite difficult to respond to questions in a manner relative. Some people are quite adept at it. I wasn't. Don't dwell on it, regardless of the somewhat snide comments you might receive.
If no one else is taking it.
[cfm] Don't worry about it. I've made the same mistakes before, we all have.

To hurry things along I will pick up this discarded baton and offer an ABSTRACT with MINERAL & ANIMAL connections.
A work of art?
[cfm] Work of art? I would say Yes, but not everyone would agree.
A singular work (versus a category of same?)
20/21 century?
[cfm] A thing, not a type of thing? Yes.
[Software] After 1900? Yes.
A piece of visual art?
[cfm] Visual Art? I said before, not everyone would agree it was even art. That said, if it is art, it probably qualifies as visual art. (I am guided solely by Wikipedia in this matter, however).
Could it be regarded as a style?
A monument?
Made of metal?
[Rosie] A style? No.
[Dujon] Monumental? No. *Audience Mirth*
[cfm] Metalic? No.
Was the AOTC intended as a work of art?
[cfm] Intended as art? No, at least I doubt its creator(s) would have used that word at the time.
Oh dear. Should have asked, is the mineral association with something metallic?
[cfm] Metallic association? No.
Is it man-made?
Is it the name of a place?
[Phil] man-made? Yes.
[Chalky] name of a place? *Audience Applaudes* Part of the AOTC is the name of a place.
Is the mineral connection water?
Can I go to a specific place to see it?
[Chalky] Wet Stuff? No.
[Phil] Can you see it in a specific place? Yes, I have seen it in several specific places.
Could it fit inside a microwave oven?
If it can be 'seen' is it Abstract?
[cfm] Could it fit inside a microwave oven? Yes, it's an abstract.
[Chalky] Is it really an Abstract? Yes.

To clarify the point, the contents/title of a book, film or TV programme would all be examples of abstracts that can be seen. (I'm not saying it's one of those but they still exist).
Well then, is it a film or TV program? (I don't know why I keep losing sight of the fact that this is an abstract!) :-)
[cfm] Film or TV? No.
Is it a logo?
An illusion of some kind?
[Chalky] logo? No.
[Rosie] A kind of magic? No.
Is there a musical connection?
Camelot?
[Chalky] Musical connection? Yes, music is involved to soem extent.
[Software] It's only a model? No.
Is it a play?
I said: IS IT A PLAY!?
Typical example of my stupidity - Software asks "Camelot?"
The reply comes back " It's only a model - No "
Result: I spend more time worrying about my failure to make a connection between these two posts than I do about the actual resolution of this puzzle. Thus confirming why I shouldn't be playing this game.
[Chalky] A Play? No.
Sorry, I've been preoccupied, my redundancy notice came through on Friday.
[GL] So sorry to hear that. I hope that another, better opportunity is just around the corner for you. (((((hug)))))
[cfm] Thanks, so do I. But now I've got my CV up to date etc. I'd welcome the distraction of getting the game back up and running.

So, in summary The AOTC is the name of a work for the second half of the twentieth century that contains both visual elements and music. It is not a play, film, or TV programme but more than one copy exists. The title itself contains the name of a place, which is the mineral connection. The animal connection remains unexplored.
Is the animal connection human?
[GL] Eek. Just spotted your redundancy posting. Been there, done that. Hope something turns up pronto.
[Chalky] I don't understand the Camelot/only a model connection either.
[Phil] Human connection? Yes, but not exclusively.
[Chalky/Phil] I'm sorry for the Camalot/Model thing, it was a reference to Monty Python's Holy Grail. Clearly I have seen it too recently. It was not a clue.
It's been two weeks
Is there anyone else still playing this?
A novel?
[Software] A novel? No
OK. Either I, Christmas, or a combination of the two seem to have killed this round/game. Whatever the reason, it would seem wise for me to step down and offer the baton to someone else.
The AOTC was The Secret of Monkey Island.

I will place this baton here for anyone to take.
I know I haven't played for ages, but I have an idea for a very straightforward and unsubtle one... MINERAL.
man made?
[GL] Manmade? YES
Made of metal?
[GL] I thought many times about your AVMA, but never thought of a video game. Not that I've heard of Monkey Island, though :)
Metallic? NO.
Wood?
Is it edible/potable?
Bigger than a bread box?
[Phil] I don't think anyone else thought of video games either. Also, you should play Monkey Island.
Found in the home?
[Rosie] Wood? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO
[GL] Smaller than a breadbox
[Software] Found in the home? YES is the best answer, albeit disputable.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Dujon] Plastic? NO
[GL] Stone? NO, I think.
Chalk?
[Chalky] u-y=aotc? NO.
Oil?
Liquid at room temperature?
A ceramic material?
[Rosie] Oil? NO
[GL] Liquid? NO
[Chalky] Ceramic? YES
Some form of crockery?
[Rosie] Plates etc.? NO
Something deliberately artistic?
A Garden Gnome?
[Phil] Very seldom considered art
[GL] GG? NO
A gentlemen's urinal?
Associated with a particular culture?
Is it used as an insulator?
[Rosie] Fountain? NO (but you are on the right track - that is if you really know your contemporary art very well!)
[CdM] Culturally specific? NO
[Dujon] Insulator? YES, I think you could say that.
Any connection with Le Mannequin Pis?
Long shot. Yes, it's bronze and older even than me, but my knowledge of contemporary art is not so much like the back of my hand as the sole of my foot.
[Rosie] P-boy? NO (getting colder)
Does water run through it?
[Rosie] Google "Duchamp's Fountain", of which I've been aware for about a week, by pure chance.
[Phil] Water through it? *audience guffaws* Hopefully not!
(Advice to most: don't bother with the contemporary art angle unless you've been paying very close attention since the end of Duchamp's era)
Is it functional, i.e. was it created to serve a particular purpose?
A swimming pool?
[Fil] Phunctional? YES
[Rosie] Pool? NO.
Is it designed to prevent water flow in some way?
[Phil] Prevents water flow? YES
Is it made of Bakelite?
A ceramic tap valve?
A ceramic bath plug?
A bottle stopper (with or without rubber washer)?
(Phil) Yeah, ceramic Bakelite - good stuff.
[Phil] Not Bakelite
[Software] Tap valve? NO
[GL] Plug it? NO
[Rosie] Bottlestopper? NO
Is it bigger than a toaster?
[Rosie] You know, something felt wrong as I typed it. What was I thinking!?
A brick?
A roof tile?
*lobs baton through Raak's window, wrapped in a note reading: "Essential component of Carl Andre's Equivalent VIII? YES!"
I think that’s my first lurker’s victory. Next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
The atmosphere?
The oncoming storm?
[Rosie] No atmosphere, as Neil Armstrong said.
[GL] Outlook for Viking, Fisher, German Bight? No.
Phrase or saying involved?
Mineral in its natural state?
[Software] Not a phrase or saying.
[Rosie] Unnatural.
A man-made object with a significance beyond its immediate use?
[Rosie] Can you unpack that? The words on the card refer to a man-made object. They also refer to something abstract.
The Sword of Damocles?
Having carefully unpacked it from its vagina.
[Rosie] Not the Sword of Damocles, wherever it's been.
Is the object made mainly of paper?
[Rosie] Not paper.
Is this larger than a 'phone box?
[Dujon] Smaller than a phone box.
Is it smaller than an iron atom?
[GL] Bigger than an iron atom.
Is it metallic?
but is it art?
[Rosie] Not metallic.
[Phil] Not art.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Rosie] Not plastic.
[Software] *mutters of "At last!" from the audience* Um, stone, sort of.
a diamond in the rough?
[GL] Not a diamond.
Is this a grave matter?
Depiction of a human?
[Dujon] Not grave.
[Rosie] Not a graven image.
Concrete?
Used in building?
[Phil] Not concrete.
[Rosie] *some applause*   Is used in building!
A pseudo-stone like Corian, for example?
[Software] Not a pseudo-stone. (I suspect a retired industrial chemist might inform us that the thing on the card isn't stone at all.)
A brick?
Glass?
I suspect GL has it.
[GL] *applause* GL very nearly has it, but it would be bad form for me to have just reused the previously set object. No, this is not a brick.
[Rosie] Not glass.
A breeze block?
[GL] Not a breeze block.
Mortar?
[Phil] Not mortar.
Another Brick In The Wall?
A chip off the old block?
[Chalky] Not Pink Floyd.
[Software] *murmurs in the audience* Not a chip.
A buttress?
female butter
[Rosie] Not a buttress.
Writer's block?
[Software] Not writer's block. *the audience drift off to sleep as the team wander into the fog*
The foundations?
[Rosie] Not foundations. Smaller than a phone box, folks.
Pebble-dashing?
With the abstract being the chundering euphemism.
[Phil] Projectile vomiting? No.
Some attention to the mineral aspect, and to the audience reactions, might be more fruitful.
Stone the crows?
[Software] Not corvicide.
Ceramic?
[Rosie] Yes, ceramic. *the audience open their eyes a crack, for hope springs eternal*
Down the toilet?
on the tiles?
[Software] Not a toilet.
[GL] Not a tile.
The Keystone?
[Chalky] Not a keystone.
Does the AOTC include the word 'stone' - compounded or otherwise?
[Dujon] No occurrence of "stone". A hint: it does have an occurrence of a significant word that has been guessed already.
Does the AOTC include the word 'brick'?
[GL] *applause* It does contain the work “brick”!
Drop a brick?
[Software] Not a dropped brick.
A brick ****house?
I love my brick!
A Few Bricks Short Of A Load?
[Projoy] Not a brick house.
[GL] Not a sex toy.
[Chalky] Not a few bricks short.
Hint: neither of the words on the card is "brick".
Decorative Brickwork?
Clutching at straws as I've ground to a mental block
[Phil] Not decorative brickwork.
Bricklayer's Arms?
[Projoy] Huge hands with no fingerprints? No.
Bricking It?
[Chalky] Not bricking it.
Hint: the words on the card are an indefinite article followed by a noun.
A brickbat?
[Projoy] At last! A brickbat! Have this bouquet tied to a hurled half-brick.
OK, this one is ABSTRACT (with mineral and vegetable connections)
A phrase or saying?
Bouquets and brickbats?
Anything to do with bricks?
[Raak] We've taught each other a new word each in the last 5 days :-)
[GL] Phrase/saying? NO
[Raak] Florid critiques? NO
[Phil] Brick-related? YES.
Does the AOTC contain 'brick'?
[Phil] =*"brick"*? NO
Does the Abstract convey a sense of strength?
[Rosie] Abstrong? NO
What about permanence, then?
Any building related terms in the AOTC?
[Rosie] Permanence? NO
[Software] Building-related? YES
Is there a music connection?
[Chalky] Music? NO.
Vegetable wood?
[Rosie] Wood could be involved but I had something else in mind as the veg connection.
Is there a "wall" connection?
[Phil] Walls? A connection, but not a crucial one.
Is it a place?
[Chalky] A place? NO
Is the mineral/vegetable connection paint?
Is it a building?
Is it related to roofs?
[Dujon] Paint? NO
[Chalky] Building? NO *applause*
[GL] Roofesque? YES, related.
Is it a collection of constructions?
[Chalky] Collection? NO
A Monument?
Remains of a building?
A Map?
[Chalky] Monumental? NO
[Phil] Ruin? NO
[Chalky] Cartograph? NO
A house of cards?
[Sw] House of cards? *some cynical laughter from audience* NO.
Is it a well-known phrase or idiom?
Just remembered it's Abstract!
Is a human construct?
[Phil] Gusset asked that question ^^^ up there. Apparently it's not.
[Chalky] So (s)he did. Oops!
[Chalky] Human Construct? YES.
The concept of being indoors?
[GL] Withinness? NO
To do with religion?
[Rosie] Secular.
Is the AOTC generally regarded as a good thing?
[Chalky] A Good ThingTM? Probably more YES than NO, but it would depend on whom you asked and when you asked them.
Connected with the weather?
[Chalky] Weathery? NO.
Is it related to architecture?
[Phil] Architecture? YES, basically.
Is it a recognisable 'style' of architecture
Is it a blueprint?
[Chalky] Style? NO
[GL] Blueprint? NO
An Englishman's home?
[Software] Well known phrase or saying? NO :)
Is it linked to a specific individual building?
[CdM] An exclusive address? NO.
Is the mineral stone?
[Phil] Mineral stone? INTER ALIA.
Does this relate to a piece of literature?
[Chalky] Literary? Most likely mentioned in literature but not specifically famous for that.
Is it the name of a room?
[Chalky] Not the name of a room.

CLUE: A lot of people reading will have direct personal experience of this, and for those that do they will have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
Is it an activity?
A game?
[Phil] Activity? SORT OF, not exactly
[Chalky] A game? *audience laughter* NO.
Conveyancing?
A profession or occupation?
[Phil] Conveyancing? NO *some applause*
[Chalky] Not a profession.
Buying a house?
[Raak] Housebuying? NO *audience look pleased*
Selling a house?
Moving House?
still in the right area
[Raak] Selling? NO
[Chalky] Moving? NO.
Gazumping?
House-hunting?
is renting a house involved?
[Chalky] Gazumping? What a wonderful word. NO
[Chalky] Hunting? NO
[Raak] Renting involved? NO *applause* NO, not in the sense you probably mean.
Is 'demolition' part of this?
[Dujon] Demolish? NO! Well, hopefully not.
Speculative development?
still in the right area
[Raak] Build it and they will come? NO.
Does a word in the AOTC end with "-ing"
Does it involve building a building?
[Phil] Gerund? NO
[Raak] Involves building? NO. (Involves a building? YES).
A mortgage?
A survey?
A valuation?
Home Insurance?
the default option
[Rosie, Chalky] Not those, since...
[Raak] YES! A MORTGAGE. The mineral connection is bricks and mortar and the vegetable connections are paperwork and cash. * hands over the baton in exchange for Raak's promise to pay him for it once a month for the next thirty years *
Don't worry, the government will bail you out.

The next is MINERAL, with ABSTRACT connections.

Does it involve bricks?
[GL] No bricks.
A man-made structure?
[Rosie] Man-made.
Metallic?
[Software] Nonmetallic.
Made of stone?
[Rosie] Made of stone.
Stonehenge?
A building?
[irach] Not Stonehenge
[Projoy] Not a building.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Rosetta Stone?
In Britain?
Larger than a telephone box?
(Damn. I actually thought of mortgage when Projoy gave us his clue, but then rejected it for some really compelling reason that I can't remember.) :-)
[Rosie, CdM] Smaller than a telephone box in Britain, because...
[GL] The Rosetta Stone!
Hmmmm...

Let's go with an ABSTRACT with Animal connections.
Human animal?
[Software] human? - No.
Is the animal a type of animal (as opposed to an animal product, such as leather)?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Phil] animal? - Not an animal product.
[Chalky] phrase or saying? - No.
Some sort of organisation?
A book/story?
the Animal connection - a living organism?
[Rosie] organisation? - No.
[Dujon] book/story? - Yes.
[Chalky] a living creature? - Yes.
A children's story?
Moby Dick?
Long shot.
[Phil] kids' tale? - Yes.
[Rosie] The great white whale? - No.
Does this animal have a tendency to sound like a clock?
[Dujon] Sounds like a clock? - No.
Is the typical/target readership under 8 years old?
[CdM] target readership<8? Why do you assume a story needs to be read?
Tom and Jerry?
Winnie the Pooh?
[Rosie] T&J? - No.
[Raa] A bear of very little brains? - No.
Has the story been filmed?
[Raak] on film? - Yes.
Babe?
Bambi?
[Chalky] Good Pig? - No.
[Software] Bambi? - No. *Some applause*
Did this involve some number of brooms?
Cartoon?
[Dujon] brooms? - I don't remember any.
[Chalky] cartoon? - No.
Disney?
[Chalky] Sidney? - No.
Peter Rabbit?
has the film been on release for longer than 10 years?
[Software] Peter Rabbit? - No.
[Chalky] film age>10 years? - Yes.
Old Yeller?
[cfm] Old Yeller? - No.
A dog?
[Chalky] Dog? - No.
a horse ... or maybe a kangaroo?
[Chalky] Horse/Kangaroo? - Not a horse. Not a kangaroo. Not some freaky cross-breed of the two.
You leave my black velvet coated skippy alone, Chalky. ;)
Does this film involve hunters?
[Dujon] hunters? - No, not that I recall anyway.
Mickey Mouse?
Bambi/Disney?
[Software] Mickey Mouse? - No.

Summary: The AOTC is a living, fictional, non-human character and the title of a live action film from more than ten years ago. The character is not a dog, horse, kangaroo or any traditional game animal (no hunters). It is not a book (I couldn't even find a novelisation) and the film was not made by Disney.
Why did Bambi get some applause from the audience?
King Kong?
Trigger, the Wonder Horse?
[Chalky] Bambi got the clap? - First time someone guessed a film with a title character.
[Chalky] King Kong? - No.
[Raak] Trigger? - Not a horse, not even Trigger.
Babe?
Racing Stripes?
[Software] Babe? - Still not Babe.
[Phil] Racing Stripes? - No.
A member of the cat family?
Is the AOTC humanoid?
[Raak] Feline? - No.
[Phil] Humanoid? - Yes.
a Martian?
[Raak] Martian? - *Audience applaudes loudly* No, or at least probably not.
Is the central character a being stranded on Earth?
Paul?
[Dujon] Stranded on Earth? - Yes.
[Phil] Paul? - No.
ET?
Superman?
[Phil] Kal-El? - No.
[Chalky] Phone home? - YES it was ET The Extraterrestrial. Have a baton with one glowing end.
Splendid! Thank you GL.


Keeping it simple with A N I M A L and V E G E T A B L E and even a hint of M I N E R A L
Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt?
[Raak] Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt? NO *audience applause*
Is it edible?
Smokey bacon crisps?
[Phil] Edible? YES
[Raak] Smokey bacon crisps? NO - but *a huge roar of approval from an already excited audience*
A full english breakfast?
Oh, I say ...

Thanks to some incisive questioning Projoy has it!
Full English Breakfast is indeed the AOTC.

Here you are, dear chap, please accept this amusingly-shaped sausage baton ... phnarr phnarr
How eggs-citing. Hopefully I won't make a hash of the next one.

MINERAL
Is it man made?
[GL] Human-made? YES.
Metal, mostly?
[Rosie] More metal than not? NO, but there is metal in it.
Intended to be digested?
Bricklike?
[Dj] Gustible? NO.
[Chalky] Bricky? NO.
[Rosie, addendum re: metal] I guess that by mass the metal makes up less than 50% but now I think about it more, I'm not completely sure.
Electrical?
A device, gadget, tool etc?
Yes or No to any - I'm not trying it on.
[Software] Electrical? I'd say NO * a murmur in the audience*
[Rosie] "Device" is probably the best out of those options.
A piece of equipment designed for the reception of radio signals?
[Dj] PoEDftRoRS? NO. *much audience applause*
battery operated?
A router?
A CD?
[Chalkeroonie] Battery? NO
[Rosie] Router? NO
[GL] CD? NO *tumultuous applause*
A cassette tape?
A DVD?
[rab] A cassette? YES!
* hands over a biro so you can rewind to the start of a new round*
Bollocks
I should know better than to post before buffering off to the pub for six hours.

Mine is ABSTRACT, potentially with connections to all three other categories.

The colour red?
[Chalky] Whence "phnarr phnarr", I wonder?
Reality?
Imagination?
music?
[Tuj] I first encountered it in the 80s via "Finbarr Saunders and his Double Entendres" in Viz magazine (once the 3rd most popular magazine in the UK!)
Colours - not even close.
Reality - only in the sense that this does have a physical manifestation.
Imagination - components might transpire as a figment of the same.
Music - no. But the general level of tangibility is not far off.
A human invention?
An artform?
As opposed to a specific piece of art.
Is this an emotion of some kind?
A performance of some kind?
(Tuj, Phil) I'm sure it was "Fnarr, fnarr".
April Fool?
Sorry for asking two questions but this one had to be asked.
Human? - very much so yes.
Artform? - to say yes would be deliberately obtuse, but the level of specificity is spot on.
Performance? - of some kind, I suppose so.
Ha ha bonk? - no
Is this an emotion of some kind?
On behalf of Dujon the Whisperer ;-)
Sorrow.
Emotional? No. Not that human.
Academia?
Lackademicals
No, but I like the cut of your jib.
Teaching?
A theory?
Teaching - no, but keep thinking about performances in the broader sense
A theory - no
Might this involve 'letters after ones name'?
Legal connection?
A medical connection?
Postnomials? Probably, but not necessarily.
Legal link? *applause* Yes, keep going
Medical? Possibly, but not necessarily.
Being called to the bar?
Mine's a small americano
Nope.
Evidence?
*ooh ahh* part of the performance certainly.
Cross-examination?
Making a statement?
A trial?
Prosecution?
Grumpy looks? No, but this is definitely involved.
Statement? Likewise
Inspiration for Kafka? audience oohs, aahs and generally inhales in a "that'll costya" kind of way no
Perspiration? No.
A tribunal?
Advocacy?
Tribunal? Not long, now.
Advocacy? Less abstract.
A court case?
Luggage? Nope. Keep going though.
Legal Aid?
The Supreme Court?
Unexciting fizzy drink? No
Cooked in stock and cream and served with rice to make an unfulfilling dish? Nein.
You were closest with the tribunal-style performance.
A Judgement?
A judicial review?
Public Inquiry?
A Royal Commission?
A verdict?
Got there in the end
Yay, Chalky. It was a public inquiry. Well done.
Yay. Nice one. Good to see you, rab.
As is my custom - a quickie ...
A N I M A L

Human?
[Raak] Human? YES - ish.
Politician?
Maria Miller?
An extinct hominid?
Sajid Javid?
Alive now?
[Gusset Login] - Politician? NO
[Software]- Maria Miller? NO
[Raak] - An extinct hominid? NO
[Projoy]- Sajid Javid? NO
[Rosie] - Alive now? n/a
A group of people?
A post or position?
To do with the military?
[Raak] A group of people? NO *a smattering of applause*
[Rosie] A post or position? NO
[Dujon] To do with the military? As much as 'it' is to do with any person or group of people.

*clarification* Without the indefinite article I assumed the one-word opening question was an adjective as opposed to a noun - hence my vague-ish reply.
Humanity? I.e. everyone?
[Raak] Humanity? NO - however, this relates to 'everyone'
A specific individual?
Part of a human?
The human genome?
[Projoy] Specific? NO
[Gusset Login] Part of a human? YES! *audience whooop whoops*
[Raak] The human genome? NO - although given my reply to GL above - more relevant than earlier guesses ;-)
An internal organ?
An organ?
Oops. I meant, a bone?
The bridge of the nose.
hehe
[GL] An internal organ? Arguably - YES, this is classified as an organ in most places [that classify such things].
[Projoy] YES an organ, still ... but definitely not a bone.
[rab] The bridge of the nose? NO - but *audience seems to like all the last few questions*
Is this (or these) particular 'empty' spaces within the human body?
The skin?
[Dujon] Empty spaces? NO
[Raak] The skin? NO
The blood?
Is it found at one specific location in the body?
The appendix?
[Raak] The blood? YES! Need a little more for the AOTC .. *roars of approval from a very excited audience*
[rab] Specific location? As confirmed above - several locations throughout the body.
[Phil] Appendix? Nah :)
The circulatory system?
[GL] Circulatory system? NO
The corpuscles?
[Raak] Corpuscles - NO - although they are relevant ..
Anything to do with the process of healing?
Red blood cells?
The immune system?
No to all - it's about Blood!
Blood BLOOD
Blood vessels?
A blood donation?
Seeing the word so often on the page, the voice in my head is now making it rhyme with "mood". mood ... blood ... food ... blood ... hood ... blood ... wood .. blood ...
Black pudding, then. So there.
[Software] I think Chalky said yes to "human?", so that would be quite some black pudding if it is right.
[Projoy] Not blood vessels
[Raak] Not a blood donation
[Software] Not a human black pudding.

Remember ... it's all about the blood.
blood plasma?
An armful (very nearly)?
Haemoglobin?
Is this a type of blood cell which has various types?
[Raak] Plasma? Not the AOTC
[Projoy] Not an armful
[Rosie] Haemoglobin? Not the AOTC
[Dujon] 'Various types' is a phrase which should lead to the AOTC ... *audience wakes up*
A rhesus negative?
What took you so long ..?
[Projoy] 'A rhesus negative' is about as close as anyone has come to the AOTC, with the exception of Raak who guessed the 'blood' word. As the AOTC is Rhesus Negative Blood I am thrilled to hand over this gargantuan syringe-shaped baton to do with as you wish ..
It may be just a smear to you, mate, but that's life or death to some poor blighter.
OK, here's another.

ANIMAL
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES.
Alive?
A particular human?
[GL] Not alive.
[Phil] A particular human.
Died this year?
[GL] Mort MMXIV? NO
A pianist?
An actor?
Died this decade?
Involved in "the arts"?
... or even "the sciences"?
[Dujon] Pianist? NO.
[rab] Actor? YES.
[GL] Mort -10? NO.
[Phil] Arts? YES.
[Chalky] Science? NO.
Male?
British?
[Phil, Rosie] British and Male.
Has he starred in a major science fiction movie?
Died post 1990?
[Raak] SF movie? Pretty sure that's a NO.
[Chalky] Died after the Thatcher era? NO.
Died before 1970?
Died before the Heath era? YES.
Shakespearean roles?
Garrick?
Died before 1960?
#obsessingonthedeaththing
[Raak, Rosie] Not known for Shakespeare
[Chalky] Died since 1960.
Kenneth Horne?
Stan Laurel?
Vocalist?
[GL] Stiff Horne? NO.
[Phil] Resting Laurel? Another fine mess: NO.
[Software] If you mean singer, then NO.
Tony Hancock?
The lad himself
[Rosie] It IS Tony Hancock. Please take this radio aerial (and send a tray of bread pudding to Kuala Lumpur).
Part of my early teenage years. On the Home Service, no less, or was it the Light Programme? Can't remember. Now, what shall I do with this thing? Ah, yes -

ABSTRACT and MINERAL.

The Philosopher's Stone?
The last train?
Sonic Screwdriver?
A legendary object?
(Phil) Nothing so concrete.
(Projoy) Nice try, but alas....
(GL) No, not a latter-day Swiss Army penknife.
(Raak) YES, at least in the Abstract sense.
A particular vision?
(Dujon) YES, something specific.
Hidden textI am now going to bed
Human-made?
(Projoy) NO, not a human creation though the Abstract indirectly involves humans.
Something that might be studied by scientists?
(Projoy) They might, as an incidental, but it's not the flavour of the AOTC.
Anything to do with steam engines?
(Raak) Vocal traction? Not a scintilla, not a smithereen, not e'een a wisp of steam from a leaky cylinder gland.
Is a lake often associated with this?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with lakes.
To do with "The Arts"?
A corno da tirarsi?
A brass instrument that Bach specifies in four of his cantatas, but no-one knows exactly what instrument he meant.
(Phil) Nothing to do with The Arts.
(Raak) Not a little trumpet.
Hidden text(Welsh) corn bach
Metallic?
(Software) NO, not at all metallic.
A natural feature?
(GL) YES, a natural feature.
Giant's Causeway?
(GL) NO, nothing so hexagonal.
In the UK?
(Raak) Mineral - NO, Abstract - Mainly NO but could be.
Is the AOTC a mountain?
(Dujon) NO, not a mountain.
Are the abstract and mineral two distinct (essentially unconnected) meanings of the AOTC?
(CdM) The two are connected, one literal, one figurative.
Is this a weather feature?
(Chalky) Weather? Broadly, YES. *audience stops texting and looks up*
Does the word 'global' appear on the card?
(Dujon) "Global"? NO.
Is this a weather formation that was given a name?
Confused as always.
(Dujon) YES, it has a specific name but this is not normally regarded as a meteorological term.
Is this a form of wind pattern?
I know that I shouldn't but everyone else seems to have knocked off for the weekend.
(Dujon) NO, not a wind pattern.
Is it associated with deserts?
A dust storm?
(GL) Maybe a stronger asssociation with deserts than other places but a long way from exclusively so.
(Softers) Not a dust storm.
Is this 'object' a form of visual 'trickery'?
(Dujon) Visual trickery? NO, very real.
Associated with water or lack of?
(Chalky) Nothing to do with water, most certainly not.
Solar power?
(Chalky) YES, very much so. *audience goes positively orgasmic*
So is that the AOTC ...?
If it isn't I'm not quite sure where to go from here ..
Ra, the Sun God?
Apollo?
The sun?
(Chalky) NO, not the AOTC, but it's about the sun.
(Phil) NO, not Ra, not a God.
(Projoy) NO, not Apollo.
(Gusset Login) Yes, but specifically....?
halo?
Sunshine?
(Software) Not a halo.
(Projoy) The AOTC is much more specific.
A little ray of sunshine?
(Projoy) Rather more than that, it would seem.
A supernova?
A solar flare?
Solar winds?
(Raak, CdM, Projoy) Nothing as technical as these. An earthbound phenomenon, not a scientific term.
A sunbeam?
(Projoy) Not a sunbeam. This is probably more Art than Science.
Is this something like the sight of a huge cumulonimbus lit up by the setting sun?
(Dujon) A nice image that conjures up but alas NO. HINT: The AOTC is the name of a pub.
The Rising Sun?
(Chalky) NO, but very close. Move on a bit. *audience now hyperventilating dangerously*
The Midday Sun?
Thanks to Google
The Sun and Ferret Droppings?
The Setting Sun?
The Sun and Heir?
(Chalky, Projoy,Raak) Not the Sun and Trouserpress, either, for

Phil has it. The midday sun. Well done. Stay indoors.

As soon as I saw it was in Surrey, it had to be right.

Next, for your amusement and intellectual delight, we shall have:

Vegetable & Animal

Edible?
Well, that's a nice easy start :)
[Raak] Edible? YES
A chicken salad sandwich?
[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO
Pub grub?
[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such
Is the animal red meat?
Scampi and chips in the basket ?
very 70s
Is the vegetable potatoes?
A 'lunch' of some kind?
Scotch Broth?
[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*
Some form of burger?
[Rosie] Burger? NO
soup?
Does it contain sausage?
Is bacon involved?
[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*
Does this involve ham and peas?
[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*
Pea and ham soup?
Does it begin with a...
Ahem.
[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*
The next is ANIMAL.
Is bacon involved?
Does this animal consume bacon?
[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.
Is it human?
Alive?
[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.
One particular animal?
[Rosie] Um...yes and no.
An animal foetus perhaps?
[Dujon] Not a foetus.
A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?
Is it a parasite?
[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.
A louse?
[Software] Not a louse.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with P.
Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?
[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.
Is it a Benefit Scrounger?
[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.
A mosquito?
[Rosie] Not a mosquito.
Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?
[Dujon] Not a cureall.
Tick?
[GL] Not a tick.
Does it have a relationship with bats?
[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.
A bedbug?
Flea?
[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.
Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?
[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.
Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?
[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.
Some sort of worm?
[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!
Do the parasite and its host live in water?
[Dujon] Not in water.
A vampire bat?
Dracula? No.
Cuckoo?
[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?
The first cuckoo of spring?
[Projoy] Precisely so!
My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.
Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.
Is the mineral natural?
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.
Is it metal?
Is it edible/potable?
[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*
Stony?
So close, oh so close :(
[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.
Plastic?
[GL] YES, a form of plastic.
Decorative?
A form of packaging?
[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO
Lycra?
[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*
A clothing fabric?
Ladies clothing oriented?
Latex?
Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?
[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO
Is this pants/trouser support?
[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.
Is it a codpiece?
Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...
[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*
Is it used in the undergarment department?
[Phil] Undies? NO
Cricket box?
Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...
[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.
Rubber?
[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.
*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.
Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?
a hat of some sort?
[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.
A condom?
A wet suit?
A superhero's cape?
[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO
Hi-Vis jacket?
Is it work-related apparel?
[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO
An umbrella hat?
[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.
Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?
Mainly decorative you say ... ?
[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.
Is it made of neoprene?
A substantial fascinator?
[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO
Does this item have any lascivious connections?
Comedy apron?
Is this normally worn above the waist?
[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.
below the neck?
[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.
Scarf?
[Soft] Scarf? NO.
Is it a form of necklace?
... or necktie maybe?
[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*
A noose?
[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.
Bow Ties are cool
Is it? A dickie bow?
[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.
Cravat?
[Software] Cravat? NO.
PVC collar for the BDSM community?
,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.
A policeman's clip-on tie?
In that case...
[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.
A clerical collar?
Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?
Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...
[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.
"Bolo" tie?
[Phil] Bolo? X.
One of those hideous things Texans wear?
[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO
A kipper tie?
Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...
[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*
I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...
Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL
A human?
A Duck?
The Duck-Man of Oswestry?
[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.
No to all above sadly...
The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?
The Owl-Man of Oswestry?
Part of a dead animal?
I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.
Mammal?
Fish?
Neither Fish nor Mammal.
Is it a bird?
dingdingding
[Rosie] Yes!
The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?
A penguin?
Associated with NE Wales?
The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.
[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.
Mythical avian?
A well-known phrase or saying?
So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.
A species of bird?
[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.
Does this bird fly?
Likely to be seen in a British back garden?
[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.
Is it a penguin?
Is it a Kiwi?
[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi
An ostrich?
But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.
Emu?
A dodo?
I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.
[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.
Is it extinct?
A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?
Grebe?
A cassowary?
(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)
A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)
[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope
Rhea?
A caracara?
[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...
A steamer duck?
Ostrich?
A recap
It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows
Hidden textFilthy Teletubby!
The Kakapo of Ludlow?
The Po Bird?!
Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?
This was posted via Eh-Oh L.
"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.
Penguin?
Projoy has it!
Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.
[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."
OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
France?
Some form of food and drink?
[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO
Can you wear it?
A gold embossed, leather bound book?
Arty?
Does the animal part relate to humans?
Is this an object once used in war and hunting?
[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).
[Softers] Wearable? NO.
Is/was there just one of it?
[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.
The Earth, and all that is upon it?
A man-made environment?
[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
The Anthropocene Age?
[Raak] Humantime? NO
Is/was it in space?
[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).
A theatre?
Can you see all of it at once?
[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.
(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).
Bigger than a phonebox?
[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.
Bigger than Ireland?
[GL] Smaller than Ireland.
About the size of Wales?
1 standard unit.
[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.
Bigger than Kent?
[GL] Smaller than Kent.
A man-made island?
Bigger than Central London?
Within the M25
[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.
er, 1889, I meant.
Bigger than the London Eye?
[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.
Is it an organisation?
[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.
A specific urban area?
[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.
Slough?
In the UK?
[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!
Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?
[Duj] Entertainment? NO.
Is it a City?
Is it in Wales?
Is it a distinctive part of some large city?
[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.
Is it in England?
Shropshire?
[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!
Gotta be Oswestry.
[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.
Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.

A human construct?
(Pj) A human construct? - YES.
Particularly linked to a specific human?
(CdM) Linked to a specific human? - NO.
Is there a religious theme to the answer?
(Phil) Religious theme - NO.

Clarification/Correction: The "human construct" applies to the wording rather than the idea itself.

Phrase or saying?
(Software) Phrase or saying? - YES.
Wales-related?
Is the animal element specifically human?
(Projoy) Nothing to do with Wales, or its border towns.
(Phil) Animal element human? - YES.
Is there anybody there?
(Rosie) Not a soul.
A fool and his money are soon parted?
I am
(Softers) So true, but not this time.

Hint: The AOTC contains no verb - it's a description.

So that'd be along the lines of a 'Man Mountain' then?
(Dujon) Possibly along those lines, YES.
Duck Face?
(Gusset Login) Not "Duck Face". *some aduience murmurings of approval*
Selfie?
(Gusset Login) Not a selfie.
Is the mineral naturally occurring?
(Dujon) Naturally occurring mineral? NO.
A photo bomb?
atomic or otherwise
Is this something related to some thing people wear?
(GL) Er, not sure what that is, but it ain't the answer.
(Dujon) No relation to anything worn.
Related to "The Arts"?
Something somebody does?
(Phil) The Arts and How They Was Done? NO.
(Software) Not a thing anybody does.
A type of person?
(Raak) Strictly, NO, but we may be getting somewhere. *audience, previously somnolent, now considerably animated*
A fictional character?
A role that someone plays?
(Phil) Fictional? NO. This is about real people.
(Raak) NO, not a role.
A job title?
(Phil) Job title? NO.
Raak's penultimate: The AOTC is not a type of person but describes a type of person.
A Fat Bastard?
A jobsworth?
(Software) Not a Fat Bastard.
(Raak) Not a jobsworth.
It's figurative - see the original definition.
Is this something one would be pleased to be described as?
(Raak) A nice description? Someone described thus may well say yes, but the vast majority, no.
Is the mineral metal?
Trying different line of attack...
(Phil) Is the mineral metal? YES.
Man of iron?
(Software) Not Man of Iron, nor Thatcher. Try just a little further up the Periodic Table.
Is it related to Polonium?
(Gusset Login) Polonium? NO. Not that far up the Periodic Table, nothing like it.
copper?
(Phil) Copper? YES, but not solely.
Bronze Age Man?
(Phil) Bronze Age Man? NO.
Brass neck?
(Software) Damn cheek, but the right answer! A Brass Neck it is. I hand you the brazen stick.
Gosh, I must get out the Brasso.

Now what have we here? The laser display board is showing the audience and the players are getting the clues:

This time it is ANIMAL

An individual?
A human?
Living?
Multi-YES!
In the entertainment industry?
Female?
[Raak] NO, would be the right answer
[GL] NO
Involved in politics?
[GL] In a way, YES.
Seen on TV?
Billy Bragg?
[Chalky] oh YES
[Pro} NO
In charge of a programme?
A presenter on current affairs?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
A comedian?
Anything to do with sport?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
An actor?
A peer?
[Phil] Not as such, NO
[Raak] NO
Something to do with 'reality TV'?
[GL] Big Brotherism? NO
Someone's side-kick?
[Rosie] Subordinate? NO very much his own man
Jeremy Clarkson?
Host of a TV programme?
[Raak] Wheel Spheel? absolutely NO
[Phil] Still not a TV presenter NO
known primarily for tv work?
Host of tv programme is not necessarily the same as in charge of one, or a news presenter.
[Phil] forget tv as a main issue NO
Involved in "the Arts"?
A scientist?
[Phil] arty farty? NO
[Rosie] Boffin? NO
Part of the financial world?
A doctor?
[Rosie] Wheeler dealer? NO
[cfm] Dr Whom? NO
Is the TV presence of primary importance?
[Rosie] NO not really but it is of some interest
Well-known primarily in the (still) United Kingdom?
[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

A tycoon?
[Rosie] NO.
A musician?
[cfm] NO
Journalist?
You forgot to mention 'vague link to politics' in the recap.
[GL] Horrah! YES
Works for the BBC?
Mainly journalises for newspapers?
Piers Morgan?
[Rosie] NO
[Projoy] YES
[GL] Smarmy? NO
Would he be an ex-pat Australian?
[Duj] wizard of Oz? YES now we are cooking with gas!
Clive James?
[Phil] That Oz? NO
Not Rupert sodding Murdoch?
[Rosie] Absolutely NOT! - NO
John Pilger?
[Rosie] Not him either, but stick with the Oz theme. NO
Does this chap have a surname which is also a common given name?
[Duj] Daily Telegraph top 10 boys names? NO
Peter Greste?
Mark Austin?
[Phil] PG? NO
[Chalks] MA NO stick with the Oz theme
Aged over 50?
Leftish tendencies?
Regularly published in a UK Newspaper?
[Phil] > 50? NO
[Rosie] Red under the bed? YESish
[GL] Regular contributor? NO
Given your emphasis on OZ: Was this person involved with the OZ magazines?
Clarification: Oz = Australian. Anyway, the AOTC is under 50
Is this ex-pat Australian now based in the UK?
Richard Flanagan?
[Phil] In the UK? Well, technically, NO (but ponder on that)
[GL] had to Google him NO
Oh, it'll be that moron Julian Assange then, is it?
[Phil] That moron? - YES!

I didn't think that this would have taken so long, never mind, I now hand over the leaky baton to Phil!

Ithangyew, Software! Indeed, I think we could have got there earlier with the right questions. So lets be pressing on with

Animal

Human?
[Software] Human? YES
Alive?
[GL] Alive? NO
Died this century?
Begins with P?
Male?
Western?
Entertainer?
[Raak] 21st century death? NO
[Tuj] P-prefix? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
[pen] Western? YES (unless you mean in the John Wayne sense)
[GL] ENtertainer? NO
Died before 1950?
[GL] Dead pre 1950? YES
Died before 1850?
Political connection?
[GL] Dead pre 1850? NO
[Software] Political connection? YES-ish
A scientist?
[Raak] Scientist? YES-ish, again
Was he an American inventor?
[Dujon] US Inventor? NO
A non-American Inventor?
Just to cover all bases.
Pre WWII?
German?
[GL] Any other inventor? NO
[Software] pre WWII? Yes
[Raak] German? NO
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?
[Software] Sir A C Doyle? NO
Lewis Carroll?
[Rosie] Lewis Carroll? NO
72 hours without a question.
Time for a quick summary: A non-German western man who died between 1850 and 1939. Minor scientific and political connections. Neither an inventor nor an entertainer. Neither Arthur C Doyle nor Lewis Carroll. In addition, neither his Christian name nor surname begins with P.
On reflection I may have understated his scientific side, but would not call him a scientist.
Was he famous for something other than science and politics?
[GL] Famous outside of Science and Politics? YES *audience awakens from a short snooze*
Known as a philosopher?
Was he a neurologist?
[Raak] Known as a philosopher? NO
[Dujon] Do. neurologist? NO
A strong connection to medicine?
[GL] Strong connection to medicine? YES *some applause*
Louis Pasteur?
[Rosie] Pasteur? NON
Writer?
Was he a native English speaker?
(Yes, Americans and Australians count in this category don't be mean)
[gil] Writer? YES (be careful)
[GL] Native Anglophone? YES
Fiction?
[gil] Fiction writer? NO
British cinematic connection?
[Software] British cinema connection? YES, but only rather tenuously
A week since the last summary
So, all the previous summary plus: he has a strong connection to medicine and is a native English speaker who has written non-fiction works, has a rather tenuous connection to British cinema, is a native English speaker, and not Louis Pasteur, a philosopher or a neurologist. Other than "Western" we still don't know what nationality he is!
Canadian?
[GL] Canadian? NO
Scottish?
[GL] Scottish? YES *More Applause*
Dr Livingstone, I presume...
[gil] Correct. And have a bonus point for the question I was hoping to be asked.
A, V, M, a combination of these, or A
Begins with P?
Smörgåsbord?
[tuj] Doesn't begin with P
[Raak] not sm... what you said
A Scottish 'dish'?
[dujon] not a Scottish dish
Edible?
A collective noun?
Edible? While some varieties of this object are edible, the majority are not. It would mislead you to follow that line.
A collective noun? No. A noun? Yes.
Is the animal part a reptile?
[Dujon] The object on the card may be constituted from one or a number of components, one of which might conceivably be reptilian, though it's unlikely. Equally, another meaning of the above-mentioned object may be abstract. You may therefore assume that the object on the card is general rather than specific. Hope that helps. Actually, I once heard a team on the radio deduce this object in 20 questions to which the answers were restricted to Yes or No.
A work of art?
[Phil] Not a work of art, though I suppose someone could construe a particular example of this object as one. But the general run of objects like this have relatively mundane purposes.
An elephant's foot umbrella stand?
A Ball?
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
Double keypress glitch... Sorry
Next is MINERAL
Metallic?
[gil] Metallic? - No.
Solid?
[Raak] Solid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Liquid?
[Phil] Liquid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Would the liquid form of this element be rather nippy?
Part of the atmosphere?
[Dujon] Melting point more than 10 degrees Celsius lower than water? - Yes
[Rosie] In the atmosphere? - Yes, but probably not naturally to any great extent.
One of the rare gases?
[Raak] Rare/Noble gas? - No
CFCs?
Methane?
Flatulo ergo sum.
[Software] CFCs? *A smattering of applause* - No
[Rosie] Methane? - No
ozone?
Carbon dioxide?
[gil] ozone? - No
[Raaak] CO2? - No
helium?
Does it have a smell?
[gil] He? - No.
[Rosie] Smelly? - Yes.
Butane?
Hydrogen sulphide?
[Software] Butane? - No.
[Rosie] Hydrogen sulphide? - No.
Is this an NH compound commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products?
[Dujon] NH? - No. Compound? - No. Commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products? - Yes and No.
Chlorine?
[gil] Cl? - Yes. Have a baton made of purest chlorine. (Best hold your breath for a bit).
Abstract
Phrase or saying?
An emotion?
Begins with P?
Phrase? No
Emotion? Yes
Begins with P? Yes
Do some people suffer attacks of this for no obvious reason?
Panic?
Anything to do with fear?
Rosie wins. Raak a close second.
(Forgot to mention that Dujon was third. That was more like an attack of mass telepathy than an AVMA round)
Right then, it's ABSTRACT
Justice?
Is this usually a good thing?
(GL) Justice? NO
(gil) To most, YES, but in moderation.
Christmas Cheer?
(GL) Christmas cheer? NO.
Connected with the current season?
An emotion?
(Raak) Advent? NO. (nor any other season)
(Phil) An emotion? NO.
A condition, like peace?
(gil) A condition, such as peace. NO
An attribute, such as speed?
(gil) An attribute? YES, I'd say it is.
A skill?
Is the attribute associated with human beings?
(cfm) A skill? Not as such, but you may need it to bring this about.
(gil) A human attribute? NO.
Existence?
(gil) Existence? Rather less all-encompassing, so NO
(GL) The angular velocity of Resale Price Maintemamce? Sorry, but NO.
... stumped.
A sense?
(Phil) A sense? NO, but you need one of the senses to appreciate this.
A sound?
(Phil) A sound? YES.
The sound of one hand clapping?
Anything to do with steam engines?
(GL) Monochiral applause? NO.
(Phil) Steam engines? NO, although this has been mistakenly attributed to some of them by some writers. Hint I have another great interest.

AOTC is one word, a noun.

Thunder?
The sound of a trombone?
Music?
(Phil) Good guess, but alas WRONG.
(Raak) NO, not the 'bone.
(GL) Music? Well, actually, NO *audience now hyperventilating*
A whistle?
(Phil) A whistle? NO. (nothing to do with steam locos)

"Music" is not the AOTC, but.....

A Fanfare?
(GL) NOT a fanfare.
Muzak?
Melody?
(GL) Muzak? NO.
(gil) Melody? NO.
Jazz?
(Phil) NOT jazz, but heavily related.
Does this noun also describe animal droppings?
Sorry I'm late. The train was delayed.
(Duj) Can't quite see what you're getting at, but NO. molto con cowpat.
Blues?
A particular chord?
(GL) - NO, not the Blues.
(Raak) NO, not as particular.
Improvisation?
Is it a specific piece of music?
(Phil) Not improvisation.
(GL) Not a specific piece of music.
A musical form?
(Raak) A musical form? Strictly speaking NO, but that is in some ways misleading. Call it a feature.
A glissando?
(Phil) A glissandOOOOOoooooo? NO, but you're in the right area.
A trill?
crescendo?
(Raak) NOT a trill.
(gil) NOT a crescendo.

AOTC is one word.

Rhythm?
(Raak) Rhythm? You're getting very close.
Pitch?
Tempo?
(Phil) NOT pitch.
(GL) NOT tempo.
Not all music has the AOTC.
Swing?
(Raak) NOT swing, but swing often has this.
Syncopation?
(Phil) YES! Sin-coper-shone it is. Take this rather confused conductor's baton and proceed strictly alla marcia to The Next Object.
Ooh, a magical music stick
OK, for today's new guess-target, I am going to opt for:

Abstract and Animal

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?
Human?
Santa?
[GL] Rudoplh? NO. Although I wish I had done that now.
[Rosie] Human? YES
[Raak] St Nick? NO
Currently topical?
[Rosie] Topical? NO ... apols for the delay. And happy Christmas
Female?
[GL] Female? YES
Holder of an office?
[Rosie] Office-holder? NO
Alive at this moment?
Fictional?
A witch?
[Rosie] Alive at this moment? NO (although see below)
[GL] Fictional? YES
[Raak] A witch? NO
Did she have a few friends who were small in stature?
Did she once throw a metal bar torn off a street light at a talking lion?
Did she die in the work of fiction for which she is best known?
[Dujon] Friend of little people? NO, at least no more or less than anyone else, on average, I would surmise.
[Raak] Talking-lion-abuser? NO (I'm pretty sure that would have been mentioned, if she had)
[GL] Dead in fiction? NO
Is she best known for appearing in a film?
[GL] Best known as a film role? The answer would be different depending on whom you asked. For me it's a NO
Did she first appear in a book?
Was she created before July 12th 1956?
Raak - first in a book? YES
GL - Pre 12/7/56? YES
A child?
A children's book?
[Rosie] A child? NO
[Raak] Children's book? NO
Is she the title character of the book?
[GL] Title character? NO
A literary character?
[Rosie] Literary? YES
Nineteenth century?
A correction
[Rosie] On reflection "literary" can be taken by some people to mean "from great works of 'Literature'", although I don't know how one would define them. The AotC is a character from fiction, and I have seen her mentioned as a "literary character", although I wouldn't rate the "literature" as "Literature", but some probably would. In all, she's a character from a book or books.
[gil] C19? YES, but not exclusively.
Was the book in English?
Mrs Hudson?
[Raak] In English? YES
[GL] Mrs Hudson? When one has eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is indeed Mrs Hudson. CORRECT. Congratulations!
Hmm... OK, next up is: ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Is the animal connection human?
[Phil] Human? - No.
Is it a characteristic of a particular animal?
A fictional animal?
[Rosie] A characteristic of a particular animal? No, but there is a connection.
[Phil] Fictional animal(s)? Yes
Mammalian?
[Knobbly] Mammals? Not primarily but some.
Do they talk?
Is it the cast of a particular childrens' book?
[Raak] Talking animals? Thankfully, No.
[Dujon] Cast of a particular children's book? No.
Do such animals also exist (or have they) in the real world?
[Raak] Real animals? Yes. (Or at least something similar in most cases)
Native to UK?
[Software] Native to UK? Some might be, others certainly aren't.
The story so far...
Fictional animals of multiple species almost all of which are non-mammalian and in as far as they can be identified, are probably based on real animals but not UK natives (probably). They are not from a children's book and they don't talk. The character of the animals is important but is not likely to be guessed in a "____ as a [Name of animal]" sense.
Taking a backward step: Did they originally appear in a book?
[Dujon] originally from a book? No but apparently books have been made since (including children's books)
Mythical?
[Raak] Mythical? No.
Bunnyish?
[Software] Non-mammalian bunnies? No.
Earth-based?
[Phil] Earth-based? Yes, but not earth-based versions exist.
Unicellular?
[Raak] Mono-celled? No
Clues
I think everyone is as bored of this as I am. Here are some hints to push the game forward to less boring, more finishing moves.

1. The AOTC is two words. One of these describes the non-mammalian animals and the other is an attribute that sets them apart from the majority of their real world counterparts. The whole is the name of a 21st century abstract that was not originally literature but has since spread to various other media.

2. The mammalian animals are a less well known aspect of the AOTC and except with regard to colour, clearly represent an animal that is common in the UK, US and several other places. The primary animals are less easily identified.
Desert Rats?
Cat girls?
[Phil] Dessert Rats? No (Rats are mammals)
[Rak] Cat Girls? No (Cats and Girls are both mammals)
lizards?
[Raak] lizards? No
Fish?
[Raak] Fish No
Birds?
[Raak] Birds? Yes
Angry Birds?
[Raak] Angry Birds? YES Let me fire this avian baton at you.
Next: MINERAL
Manufactured?
Metal?
[Rosie] Manufactured.
[GL] Partly metal.
Can you (or I) lift it?
Can we lift it? No, yes, or no, from various points of view.
Unique?
[GL] Unique.
Does it belong to a single person?
[Tuj] Does not belong to one person.
Is it a pyramid?
[Dujon] Not a pyramid.
In UK?
(amusement in the audience) Not in the UK.
Bigger than a phone box?
[GL] Smaller than a phone box.
Could it be called art?
Smaller than a breadbox?
[Rosie] Not art. [GL] Larger than a breadbox.
Is it assembled bit by discrete bit?
[Dujon] Assembled piece by piece.
A triangulation point at some particular place?
[Rosie] Not a trig point.
Does it have a technical application?
[Rosie] Yes, it has a technical application.
A light?
[Rosie] Not a light.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Yes! Yes, it DOES begin with a P!
Was it manufactured in the twentieth century?
Is it associated with a particular type of geographical feature?
[Kim] Made in the 20th century.
[Rosie] Not associated with a type of geographical feature.
Would it be a product of WWII?
[Dujon] Not a product of WWII.
Oops, my answer to Kim was wrong. On searching out the date of its completion, I find it was not in the 20th century.
A telescope?
[Rosie] Not a telescope.
Philae lander?
And Knobbly scores a hole in one! Have this genuine Rosetta stone. My answer to the weightlifting question is explained by the fact that on Earth, it would weigh about 100 kg, which is more than I've ever bench pressed, but sitting on the comet it's estimated to weigh about 1 gram -- but you can't get there to lift it.
Sorry Tuj, was that where you were heading?
Next up is Vegetable
Is it edible?
Well, someone has to kick it off.
Alive?
Wooden?
Is it unique?
[Knobbly] One letter at a time? No =)
Does it have a practical use?
[Raak]
Hidden textMeasuring weight in g/kg rather than N?
Some catching up to do...
[Dujon] No, not edible (is the least misleading answer, although everything is edible once)
[GL] Yes, alive
[Phil] Yes, wooden *ripple of applause*
[Tuj] Yes, unique (or at least specific)
[Raak] No practical use
Does it live in Sherwood Forest?
Is it unusually old?
Is it a fruit tree?
[Dujon] Not in Sherwood Forest
[Raak] (Back from checking something I probably should have before starting) No, not unusually old
[GL] Not a fruit tree
Is it in the UK?
[Rosie] Yes it is in the UK
A specific sycamore?
[Dujon] Not a sycamore, no
Royal?
Is it a specific tree?
I thought I'd ask in case we were heading in the wrong direction.
Why did the internet eat my post twice?
[Raak] Royal connection, yes indeed
[Dujon] A specific tree, yes
[GL] Yes, an oak!
*Audience beside themselves with mild interest*
Oak Apple Day?
[Software] Not the 29th of May... A custom worthy of revival but not really a specific tree
Is it a son/daughter of a famous oak?
That Royal Oak wherein King Charles II hid from the Roundheads?
[Dujon] Do you know, I can't find out if there was any genetic continuity, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't... I'm going to unilaterally change your question and say yes it is a successor to a famous oak
[Raak] Not that Royal Oak, no
Merlin's Oak?
[Phil] Not Merlin's Oak
One of the Tree Council (UK)'s "Great British Trees" in 2002?
[Phil] Not a Great British Tree
In Kent?
[Phil] Not in Kent
An extant oak tree?
Does the royal aspect of the answer arise from a royal planting the acorn?
[Phil] Yes, an extant oak tree
[Dujon] Hmm... Well, the extant oak tree which is the AOTC was royally planted, but the royal connection was already there. I realise that wasn't a yes/no answer
(Although I rather expect the 'planting' was a photo opp holding a spade next to a sapling rather than heeling in an acorn)
Did the planting happen after the invention of photography?
[GL] Yes, photography had been invented. Can't find a photo though...
It's gone a bit quiet, shall I re-cap?
This Vegetable is a living oak tree, which is not itself unusually old, nor is it one of the Great British Trees. It was royally planted (although a royal connection already existed) and is neither the Royal Oak in which King Charles mk.2 hid, Merlin's Oak or in Kent.
Is it in England?
Being an ex-pat for nigh on sixty years this is becoming something of a guessing game to me. It's time to narrow the focus.
[Dujon] Yes, in jolly old England
Is it north of Watford?
[Raak] Yes, north of Watford.
South of Hadrian's Wall?
Mmm,
That was otiose, reading above.
In Yorkshire?
[Software] Yes, south of Hadrian's damp-course, and not in Yorkshire
North of London (Charing Cross, just in case)
[Phil] Yes, north of London (as implied by being north of Watford)
The Midland Oak?
[Raak] Not the Midland Oak
I'm trying to think of a clue that isn't just giving away the answer...
Selly Oak?
[Phil] Not the Selly Oak
Hidden textTry and find out who the royal is
Is the royal Queen Victoria?
[Raak] Not Queen Vic
Is the royal female?
[Phil] She is a female royal
Queen Anne?
Our current Head of State?
A British royal?
[Raak] Not Queen Anne
[GL] Yes, a British Royal
[Dujon] Yes, the oak you could visit now was planted by our current Head of State but I'm not sure how helpful that is, she must have attended many tree plantings in her time... Keep finding out who the original connection was - I reiterate, she is a female British royal who is neither Queens Victoria nor Anne.
The good old late Queen Mum?
[Software] Not the Queen Mother
QE 1?
[Raak] Yes, Queen Liz the 1th
Is there also a direct connection to QE1's sister Mary?
I think the answer must be what you find if you google "Queen Elizabeth I" and "oak", but I'm going to be away a lot in the next few weeks, so I'll leave it to someone else.
[Dujon] Yes, a connection to Queen Mary also
[Raak] You can find the answer that way, yes... Who will do so?
Queen Elizabeth Oak, at Hatfield House?
Absolutely right... you even chose the right Queen Elizabeth Oak (not the one in Cowdray Park). The current tree was planted by QE2 in 1985 on the site of the original tree, beneath which Elizabeth was sat when told that Queen Mary had died and she was now the queen.
I really didn't think I'd chosen a hard one...
I pass Phil the baton, made of exquisitely turned english oak.
Re - hard ones
[Knobbly] It happens. I remember setting Jeffrey Dahmer a few years ago, and was astonished to find no-one knew who he was. He's a household name in our family. But, thanks to Google, and Raak, I've know heard of Hatfield, its house, and its trees.

Mineral, Animal and Vegetable

Human construct?
A town or city?
Does it begin with P?
[Knobbly] Well lasted =)
[Software] Human Construct? Ummm, no, I don't think so (although I've always been rather vague about what "human construct" means).
[GL] Town or city? NEITHER
[Tuj] Pstarted? NO
Bigger than a K6 telephone box?
Is there just one?
Is either the Animal or Vegetable human?
[Software] Bigger than telephone box? YES
[Raak] Unique? YES
[GL} Human? NO
Is it in Britain?
[Raak] In Britain? YES. most definitely
A building?
[Software] A building? NO, although it includes a building or buildings
Is it a region of some description?
Some form of animal sanctuary?
[Knobbly] a region? NO
[Rosie] an animal sanctuary? NO *much laughter*
A farm, then?
[Rosie] Farm? YES, slightly surprisingly
Chalk Farm?
[GL] Chalk Farm? NO
On reflection, my answer to Is the Animal or Vegetable human? could be YES - with a little chuckle from the audience.
A non-fictional real-life farm? (...which we've heard of?)
[Knobbly] YES-ish. You will have heard of it, I expect, but you may not be aware that it functions as a farm.
A royal estate?
Belonging to the Prince of Wales?
[Dujon] Royal estate? NO *audience wakes up*
[Raak] PoW-owned? NO
Belonging to a religious institution?
[Raak] Religious? NO
Is it a tourist destination?
[Raak] Tourist destination? NO, or if it is I'd be surprised
Is this farm maintained by people detained at Her Majesty's pleasure?
[Dujon] HMP-farm? NO
Is it in England?
[Raak] In England? YES
Does anyone live there except the farmers?
[Raak] Non-farming inhabitants? YES
Privately owned?
[Raak] Privately owned? NO *some applause*
Porton Down?
[Rosie] Porton Down? NO
Is it in a National Park?
[Raak] in a National Park? NO, but it is in an AONB
Stonehenge?
[Software] Stonehenge? NO
A similar monument?
A research establishment?
[Software] Stonehengey-type-monument? NO
[Rosie] Research establishment? NO
Some clues from answers already given
"Royal estate" woke the audience up, but it's not privately owned, and not owned by Prince Charles. It includes buildings and farmland, and is in an Area of Outstanding National Beauty in England.
Longleat?
Ah ... just spotted the 'not privately owned' bit. Scrub that attempt please.
The New Forest?
[Chalky] New Forest? NO (and not Longleat either, of course)
In Cornwall?
[Rosie] Cornwall? NO
Another clue
In the Home Counties
Legoland?
Hampton Court?
Aha! NOT a tourist destination eh?
Um, the estate surrounding Hampton Court containing the piggeries and grouse shooting, where tourists never go?
[Software & Raak] Neither Legoland, nor Hampton Court. Nor the estate surrounding it.
The Chilterns?
[Chalky] The Chilterns? NO *huge applause from audience who thought it was all over, for a moment*
The Chiltern Hundreds?
[Raak] Chiltern 100s? NO *Audience apologises for over-reacting earlier, leading to the thought that "chiltern" is in the answer*
One of the nuclear places near the Kennett valley?.
Is it an SSSI?
[Rosie] One of those nuclear type things? NO
[Chalky] An SSSI? NO, but I think it includes part of one, but I can't be 100% sure.
The Ridgeway?
[Chalky] Ridgeway? NO, but the Ridgeway does pass through it. *Applause, from me for remembering where I've been recently, and from the audience too
Salisbury Plain?
So-called. Actually the very opposite.
Chequers?
... piecing together the clues
Uffington White Horse?
[Rosie] Salisbury Plain? NO
[Software] Uffington White Horse? NO (although I was there the day before I was at the AOTC, in Feb this year)
[Chalky] Chequers? YES - the estate, that is, rather than just the house that lies within. And what splendid timing for me to hand over the leadership of this fine game to you, given that we don't yet know who'll be spending their weekends there for the next five years.
We do now.

Time for an ANIMAL
Human?
A politician?
[Software] Human? NO
[Raak] A politician? NO
Is there just one?
Is it a dog?
A mammal?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Just one? NO
[GL] A dog? NO
[Rosie] A mammal? Yes
[Tuj] Begins with a P? Yes! The latin name.
Is it feline?
[GL] Feline? NO
Orang-utan?
[GL] Orang-utan? NO
Carnivoran?
Generally considered edible in Europe?
Bandicoot?
[Knobbly] Carnivoran? NO
[Phil] edible in Europe? Doubt it .. No
[GL] Bandicoot? NO
Bigger than a toaster?
Chimp?
Regarded as a pest?
Thank you for your patience ..
[Raak] Bigger than a toaster? About the same ... except for the sticky out bits
[GL] Chimp? NO
[Rosie] Regarded as a pest? I don't believe so.
Kept as a pet?
[Raak] Kept as a pet? Not usually but no reason why not ..
Nocturnal?
[Rosie] Nocturnal? YES!
Racoon?
Sloth?
[ GL] Racoon? NO
[Softers] Sloth? No ... but quite a good guess.
A badger?
A pangolin?
[Rosie] Badger? NO
[Raak] Pangolin? NO
Found in the wild in Britain?
Is it arboreal?
[Rosie] ... wild in Britain? NO
[Dujon] Arborial? YES! *audience cheers*
Is it a bird?
Civet?
[Phil] Bird? NO
[GL] Civet? NO
Is its native continent South America?
[Dujon] native of S America? NO
A Primate?
[GL] A primate? NO
Koala?
[GL] Koala? NO. Are they nocturnal?
clue: nocturnal ... arborial... nocturnal ... arborial
Is it native to China?
African Native?
[Knobbly] native to China? NO
[GL] ... or Africa? NO
A chimpanzee?
[Raak] chimpanzee? I refer the honourable gentleman to my reply above ...
nocturnal ... mammal ... nocturnal ... arborial
Hmm... does it fly? - either actually or 'falling in style'
Some lizardy thing like a chameleon?
Phalangeriforme?
[Knobbly] YesYesYesYes! Now just name it.
[Rosie] Not lizardy
[GL] phalangeriforme? Apparently no
I think it's too soon to be my turn again... *I turn my back and feign great interest in that thingummy over there*
Please please release me from this Knobbly! #thoughtitwasgoingtobeaquickie
Pteromyini?
more googling ...
[GL] Pteromyini? Veryvery close - but I believe they are omnivorous.
If somebody doesn't guess this before 0700 BST 27 May 2015 ...
Known for its winged fingers?
[Raak] winged fingers? Yes
... further investigation reveals it can be found in China, although it didn't originate there. (Apologies Knobbly)
answer
It was the Indian Flying Fox (pteropus giganteus) aka Greater Indian Fruit Bat in the Pteropodidae family.
A certain degree of exasperation
Who could possibly have guessed that? In any case all fruit bats are called Eric and come from Guildford.
[Rosie] Not me obviously, though I had a good try at guessing it.

If no one objects, I guess I'll pick up the dropped baton. You have until 10am (BST) 29th May to object
Fire away, GL.
OK. Hopefully a slightly harder one. VEGETABLE
A hard vegetable. Is it a turnip?
[Stevie] A turnip (for the books)? - No. *Someone claps briefly*
Celeriac?
Grown for consumption?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Celeriac? - No
[Rosie] Grown to be eaten? - Yes
[Tuj] Begins with P? - Yes
A parsnip?
[Rosie] Parsnip? - Yes.
Good heavens, it's me. In that case it's

ABSTRACT

An Emotion?
(GL) I am disconsolately sad to tell you that it is not.
Weather-related?
Begins with P?
(Raak) Nothing to do with the weather
(Tuj) Begins with P? NO (but it could do).
Phrase or saying?
Is the answer on the card a single word?
(Sofware) Not a phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Single word? YES (plus the indefinite article).
Would it exist without humans?
(Knobbly) Exist without humans? YES.
Is it an action?
(Tuj) Not an action.
Is the indefinite article "an"?
A phenomenon ?
(GL) The indefinite article? NOT "An".
(Software) A phenomenon? NO, not really.
Would it exist without lifeforms?
(Tuj) Exist without lifeforms? YES, it could.
A sound?
(GL) A sound? YES. *audience erupts*
Is it onomatopoeic?
Is this a useful question?
(Knobbly) Unlike a cat, does not on a mat appear. (Shurely all questions are useful).
Whispering?
to kick start this one again
(Software) NO, not whispering.
Is it geological?
A tree falling in the forest?
(Knobbly) Geological? NO.
(Softers) The unseen and unheard tree? NO.

In a desperate bid to do something about the terrifying speed of this one I could mention that the AOTC is connected with an interest of mine, but not steam locos.

Lost for words
Not weather or locos? What does that leave, then? Sex? Beer?
Flattered
(Software) We have met, haven't we?
The sound made by the opening of a can of London Pride?
Oh, yes.
<mode="Lady Bracknell"> A CAN? </mode>. Not the sound suggested.
Oh, all right - a bottle then?
(Software) Not a bottle. Nothing to do with booze.
Astronomy related?
Just popping by.
(Boolbar) Stargazing? NO.
Is it associated with music?
(Robin) Music? YESSSSS! *audience, previously comatose, now resembles a football crowd whose side has just scored.*
A Flat?
(GL) Not A flat, not G sharp either.
F Natural?
(GL) Not F. (Not a Key).
A wind chime?
(Softers) NO, not a wind chime.
a rhythm?
(Knobbly) NO - not a rhythm. A different aspect of music.
If I may sum up, some
So, an aspect of music which, moreover, would exist without life-forms... Beginning with a consonant which isn't P (but confusingly could be)
Molto adagio
(Knobbly) Orl krekt.
The blistering pace of this one
It's a musical term, found also in ordinary speech.
Is the AOTC an italian term?
Is there anybody else out there?
(Knobbly) Italian? YES, it certainly is.
Piano?
(Softers) Piano? NO.
Fortisomo?
(Softers) ff? NO, but you're getting there.
Allegro?
Not the Leyalnd version - oh, no.
(Softers) Allegro? NO. The AOTC is not an adjective.
Presto?
(Softers) Even faster? NO. Presto is an adjective. I dunno - man of your calibre.
Intermezzo?
(Knobbly) Not an intermezzo. The AOTC is usually abbreviated.
Ah, in that case is the abbreviation 'cresc.'?
YAY, it be that. Say it again, louder. KNOBBLY is the winner. Take this conductor's baton and whack it on the music stand louder and louder until everyone else has woken up.
Actually I was trying not to win by not giving the AOTC, but since you've given me this baton I may as well wave it about a bit...
OK, this is hopefully an easy MINERAL.
Metal?
(Rosie) Not a metal
A manufactured object?
Solid?
(Rosie) Not manufactured
(GL) Solid, YES.
Something dug up from the earth?
What's mined is yours...
(Rosie) No, not dug up.
Found lying around?
(Software) Lying around? I'm going to go with no... Although I'm not sure how helpful or right that is
Does it come from space?
Is it unique?
(Raak) Extra-terrestrial? No
(Gussy[if I may call you that]) The one-and-only? YES (or at least, the AOTC is specific)
A lake?
A geographical feature?
(Rosie) No, not a lake but...
(Software) YES, a geographical feature
Bigger than the Isle of Wight?
Smaller than the Isle of Wight?
An area of sea-water?
Ayres Rock?
(Raak & GL) Smaller than IoW in area, which was surprisingly hard to find out. Strangely couldn't find it anywhere and had to work it out myself.
(Rosie) Not sea-water
(Software) Not Ayer's Rock
In the Northern hemisphere?
(Tuj) Not Northern hemisphere, no
Zambesi Falls?
A Mountain?
[Rosie] I don't believe the falls or an area of sea water would count as solid.
(Rosie) Zambezi Falls? No
(GL) YES, a mountain *applause*
Higher than 20,000 ft (6096 m)?
Everest?
(Rosie) Not higher than 20,000 ft
(GL)Not Everest
Shorter than 1,000 ft?
Kilimanjaro?
Lurkers R Us
(GL) Not shorter than 1,000ft
(CdM) Not Kilimanjaro
In Africa?
(Rosie) Not African
Vinson Massif?
A volcano?
(GL)Vinson Massif- Is he? I mean, no
(Rosie) A volcano? YES. *Audience erupts...*
Near the equator?
Etna?
(Rosie) Not near the equator (for any sensible value of 'near')
(Software) Not Etna
Calbuco, Chile?
(Rosie) Not Calbuco
Erupted in the last 100 years?
(Raak) YES, erupted in last 100 years
Puyehue-Cordón Caulle?
(GL) Puy-what-you-said - no
On a small island?
(Rosie) I wouldn't call it a small island, no.
Mt Erebus?
(Rosie) Not Mt Erebus
Erupted in 1956?
(Raak) 1956 eruption? Not as far as I can find out
In Antarctica?
(Rosie) Not in Antarctica
in the Philippines?
(CdM) Not in the Philippines neither
All right. How about Indonesia?
(CdM) No, but keep going...
One week later round up...
So, it's a volcano in the Southern hemisphere, between 1,000 and 20,000 ft high which isn't near the equator, in Antarctica, the Phillipines or Indonesia. It has erupted in the last 100 years, but not in 1956. It also isn't Mt Erebus or Puyehue-Cordón Caulle...
Did it erupt this century?
Did it cause much death and destruction?
(GL) Erupted this century? YES. (Rosie) Much death and destruction? I'm not sure what the standardised scale of death and destruction is, but I would say no.
In Chile?
(Rosie) Not in Chile.
Caribbean?
(SW) Not Caribbean.
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean on an island that isn't particularly small?
(CdM) On a not-small island in the Pacific? YES.
I wonder if anyone will disagree with any of my previous answers when the answer is reached?
Mt Ruapehu? Or failing that, another Kiwi volcano like Tongarairo or White Island?
(Pablo) Mt Ruapehu? Why, YES. *Wild applause*
Let us rub noses ... Thank you.
Passing the baton to Pablo.
Pablo seems to have buggered orff.
He was in the limerick game yesterday...
I think he's forgotten about this. Maybe a gentle nudge would be in order.
We're waiting for you
Still waiting
I gave him a gentle oblique nudge then a less gentle more direct one. What does one do, within the bounds of propriety and etiquette? FIIK.
Runner-up?
I think CdM was coming up on the answer... maybe he (?) would like to take over?
Impatience
(knobbly) Somebody ought to. I can't understand why Pablo seems to have gone on the blink. Anybody got his phone number?
well...
I'm not convinced that Pablo is the Pablo we think it is. Or someone (e.g. Gusset Login) typed 'Pablo' by accident instead of their own name, for reasons unknown.
It wasn't me
But, if it gets the game running again, I'd happily pick up the baton if asked.
Fine by me...
(GL) I'm happy for you to pick up the dropped baton, if there are no objections from the floor - it is nearly a month since my round was won...
No objections from this bit of old linoleum so go ahead, GL.
Very well. A new one and it's an ANIMAL
Is it one unique animal?
[Phil] Unique animal? - Yes.
A human?
[Rosie] Human? - Yes.
Living?
British, be damned?
In the news?
[blamelewis] Living? - Yes.
[Software] British? - Yes.
[Rosie] In the news? - Sometimes
Royal connections?
[Software] Royal Connections? - They are not royal.
A performer of sorts?
[Knobbly] Performer of sorts? - Not as such
Politician?
[Chalky] In Politics? - Yes
Jeremy Corbyn?
[Software] The Jez Meister? - No
Male?
[Phil] Male? - Yes
Any legal connections?
[Rosie] Legal connections? - Well, he is in politics. So, of course, there are connections to the law.
Tory?
[Software] A blue-ribboner? - Yes
A Cabinet member?
Minister of Cockney Rhyming Slang - Jeremy Hunt?
[Rosie] Cabinet member? - Yes
[Software] Total Hunt? - No
George Osborne?
As he insists on calling himself.
[Rosie] George "Dramatic Pose" Osborne? - No
IDS?
[Software] Irritable Duncan Syndrome? - No
Michael Gove?
(the MP that keeps on goving)
Sajid Javid?
working through ...
[Phil] Govey? - No
[Software] Javid? - No
Hint: Don't work through, work up.
Not Dave? (Cameron)
[Rosie] Not Dave? - No it's not Not Dave. It is Dave. I don't whether that should count as a yes or a no.
David Mundell?
A fush oo' a wa'er.
Getting a little impatient.
I have internets again! Sorry for the silence.

[Rosie] David Mundell - No, as I said, it's the Dave you guessed it wasn't.
David Cameron?
Software DC? - Yes
Well I am blowed, who'd have thought, so obvious really Eton and all that. Now let me think .....

Ah, yes!

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

Animals human?
i.e. Not Millwall
[Rosie] people? - YES.
To do with politics?
[Raak] political? probably the right answer is NO
Is the mineral connection water?
Is the vegetable connection wood?
[Rosie] water? - NO * much chuckling in the audience *
[Phil] wood? - NO - well,not directly but it may figure somewhere, not sure that this is actually helpful
To do with mineral resources?
Does it begin with P?
[Raak] ores? - NO
[Tuj] P? - YES one of the three words on the card does. (including the definite article)
Is a liquid involved?
A desert?
[Phil] Liquid? - YES. * chuckling in audience *
[Rosie] Desert? - NO
The Pacific Ocean?
Is it fit for human consumption?
Is the liquid an organic compound?
[GL] Pacific? - NO
[Phil] Drinkable? - YES
[Rosie] Organic? - YES
The petroleum industry?
Is alcohol involved?
[Rosie] Gas? - NO is probably the correct answer but I suppose it could be.
[Phil] Booze? YES * spattering of claps from the audience *
A type of beer?
[Phil] A variety of the brewing process? - NO but certainly involved in the ATOC
A bottle of champagne?
[Rosie] Bubbly? - NO but could certainly be involved in the ATOC
Is the AOTC associated with a particular place?
[Tuj] Localle? - NO

* HINT: the ATOC has 3 words including the definite article *

Is the word that starts with P pub?
[Knobbly] P = Pub? - NO * a smattering of clapping from the audience *
Is the 'p' word = Punch?
[Chalky (welcome back)] P = Punch? - NO * more clapping in the audience *
A type of wine?
[Phil] Cru? - NO * a little more clapping in the audience *

Reprise:
ATOC 3 words including the definite article;
One begins with 'P';
Alcohol of some sort involved.

Does the word "party" appear on the card?
Is it seasonal?
[CdM] Party - YES! * Audience goes wild with applause *
[GL] Seasonal - YES! * Audience now agog with expectation *
The Easter Party?
[GL] Easter? (* wonders why Easter? *) - NO * clapping from audience *
The Christmas Party?
[Phil] Xmas? - NO * audience wild with anticipation! *
The Summer Party?
Keep going, we'll find the right season soon.
[GL] Summer? you seem to have a penchant for the warmer weather - * audience wild with anticipation *
The Dinner Party?
[Phil] Dinner? - NO * audience still on the edge of their seats *
The Hogmanay Party?
[GL] Jock do? - NO * audience cannot believe that nobody has got it yet! *

HINT: There are lots this time of year

I shall be on the plane to the USA in the morning so may not get back online for a day or two.
The Hanukkah Party?
Christmas party has already gone and I'm struggling to think of any other sort that happens at this time of year.
The Office Party?
Ding!
Phil has it. * Hands over the photocopied bum to Phil *
When I was self-employed, the office party was a disaster. I got off with myself and didn't speak to myself for the whole of January. I tried to phone in sick the next morning, but it was engaged every time.

So, onwards and outwards. Your next challenge is

Animal

Human?
Alive?
Male?
Apols for delay
[Software] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
Dead While Male?
Sorry, that was meant to be "Dead White Male?"
Lassie?
[Raak] Are you saying that white people aren't human?
[Raak] Dead White Male? YNY (taking white strictly as a colour rather than race, as humans are not involved)
[GL] Lassie? NO
Fictional?
A specific individual?
Oops, missed that the answer to human was no.
[Rosie] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An individual? YES
a dead male dog?
[Chalky] Dead male dog? NO
Mao Tse Tung?
Died since the start of the 20th century?
The lion shot by that American dentist?
Died in 2015?
Does it begin with P?
HNY!
[Software] Mao Tse Tung? NO, I think he was human wasn't he?
[Raak] died post 1899? NO
[Rosie] Cecil the dentally-deceased Lion? NO
[GL] died in 2015? NO (see also two lines above)
[TUJ] P-something? NO, but HNY to you too :)
Bucephalus?
The only named pre-XX animal that comes to mind.
[Raak] Bucephalus? NO, not that long ago
The last dodo?
[Tuj] Last dodo? NO
a dead male sea creature?
Post AD 1?
[Chalky] DM sea creature? NO
[Software] Post AD 1? YES
Was it a bear?
Was it a bird?
[Raak] Bear? NO
[Chalky] Bird? NO
[Anyone who cares] It wasn't Superman either :-)
Was it a mammal?
Phil
[Chalky wc] A Mammal? YES

To summarise: A specific non-fictional individual male mammal that died between 1 AD and 1899 AD. It's not a human, a dog, a bird, a bear or a sea creature, and doesn't begin with P.

Did it spend any part of its life in the UK (including territorial waters)?
Was it a horse?
[Raak] UK-resident at some point? YES *some applause*
[Tuj] A horse? NO
Did it live in a zoo?
[Knobbly] Zoo-resident? YES, but not exclusively *more applause*
Trim - the cat who sort of discovered Australia?
Primate?
[Chalky] Trim the cat? NO
[Software] Primate? NO
A domesticated zebra?
Was it killed by a human?
[Raak] Zebra? NO
[Rosie] Killed by a human? YES (or human action, at least)
Wild animal?
[Software] Wild? Originally, YES.
Was it larger than a standard sized Fridge-Freezer?
Was it the last individual of its species?
[Chalky] bigger than a fridge freezer? YES *much applause*
[Knobbly] last of its kind? NO
Ooh, was it an elephant?
Killed by a train?
[Tuj] An elephant? YES *much applause*
[GL] Killed by a train? YES *even more applause
Then it must be Jumbo?
[Chalky] Jumbo the Elephant? YES

One of my favourite animals, simply because the word "jumbo" didn't exist prior to his naming. cf. Little Tich

Here, Chalky, take this pre-1947 ivory baton.

Ooh thanks Phil. Nice one and kudos to Tuj and GL for paving the way.
The next one is ABSTRACT with significant ANIMAL connections
Is it an emotion?
Aha! So there *is* life out there ..
[Rosie] An emotion? NO
Begins with P?
A human concept?
A fictional person?
Art?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? NO ... but ripple of applause can be detected
[Software] A human concept? YES
[GL] A fictional person? YES
[Dujon] Art? What is Art?
Character in a novel?
[Software] Character in a novel? YES *audience erupts into cheers*
Tarzan?
[Software] Tarzan? NO
Kim?
Is the animal connection a dog?
[Software] Kim? NO
[Raak] Animal connection a dog? NO
Does the character have a figurative meaning? e.g. Scrooge
[Rosie] Figurative meaning? NO
Does it originate in the British Isles?
Human?
[penelope] Originate in British Isles ? YES
[GL] Human? YES
Was the novel written after 1900?
Does the novel title begin with P?
[Rosie] After 1900? YES
[CdM] P word in title? YES
*audience senses a finish and cheers accordingly*
Is anyone willing to guess the obvious, thereby putting themself in the chair for the next puzzler?
Sure. What is it?
Is the character male?
Ronny Heaslop
That's got to be right. Because, seriously, how many non-figurative characters in post-1900 British novels with a word in the title that begins with P can there be?
... giving it all away
[GL] It's a girl
[Tuj] Male? NO
[CdM] Ronnie Heaslop? NO. And the play/novel has two P words.
... and it's linked to Phil's previous solution.
[Chalky] Oh, that's just darling.
Remind me never to play this game again ...
Aw, Chalks, don't be upset.
Frankly this one has stumped me.
Peter Pan?
(Chalky) Memo: Never play this game again.
[Chalky] I hope that comment made sense! If my guess is wrong, it probably just seemed weird (or worse, obnoxious).
with a woo and a hoo
A WINNER AT LAST! Wendy from Peter Pan it is!
Well played Rosie and CdM :)
Here - argue over this wand-shaped baton I nicked from Tinkerbell.
(Chalky) You beast.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

An Emotion?
Is there but a single word on the card?
[Chalky] I think when you said it was obvious, we all backed off presuming it must be obvious to somebody, somebody else...
(GL) Not an emotion.
(Tuj) A single word plus the indefinite article.
A silent P, obviously
Does the indefinite article begin with P?
(CdM) Of course - 's a particle innit.
Is it a human invention?
An expression?
Well done you old bu**er
(Tuj) NO, not a human invention.
(Softers) Essentially NO, but can be used figuratively, just about.
A ghost?
(Software) Not a ghost.
Is it visible?
There's not much to go on so far...
Is it fictional?
(Knobbly) Not visible, though its effects may well be.
(Raak) Not fictional.

I should add, perhaps, that the AOTC has a kind of material connection and that this would normally be thought of as Mineral.

A type of air movement?
(Dujon) Air movement? NO, but it could be said there's a connection, stretching a point.
An unfortunate brush?
(Software) NO, not an unfortunate brush.
Any political connection?
(Software) NO political connection whatever.
Has it always existed as an idea?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
(Tuj) I would say YES.
(Chalky) Could be. Could be any size. Its dimensions in its physical manifestation are irrelevant.
An emotion?
(Software) NO, not an emotion
OK, is it audible?
At last a customer
(Knobbly) Audible? NO, most definitely not.
Iron will?
(Softers) Ferrous (or ferric) determination? NO. It's not a human quality.
An ill wind?
Oh, dear. I am struggling with this.
(Softers) NO, by definition impossible.
Rock solid?
Any chance of a clue?
(Software) Rock solid? NO, for the same reason as before. This is not difficult; in fact there's nothing to it, really.
A vacuum?
(Raak) YES! A total absence of material entities. Now give us something easy FFS.
Vegetable and Mineral, with Abstract connections
Vegetable wood?
Yes, the vegetable is wood.
Is this some kind of machine or device?
Abstract religious?
[Rosie] Not really a machine or device.
[Dujon] Not religious.
Unique?
Is the AOTC the title of some work?
Not the title of a work.
Is the mineral metal?
Yes, the mineral is metal.
Unique?
Not unique.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with a P.
Found in the house?
Not typically. That is, the typical house would not contain any of these, and the typical one of these would not be in a house.
Would I be in danger of cutting myself on it?
You cannot cut yourself on one.
Mass produced?
Um...there are rather a lot of these, but I can't find any information about whether they are made on an automated production line.
Used in a sport or game?
Not used in a sport or game.
Do they tend to be found in particular areas of the world?
A fixture?
Not in particular areas of the world.
Not a fixture.
A garden shed?
Not a garden shed. I'd expect those to be fixtures, although I suppose you could put wheels on one and tow it on holiday with you.
Can these things be lifted by one man?
Yes, one man can lift one of these.
That is, any reasonably fit man, not one particular Schwarzenegger.
A barrel?
*cheering* Yes, a barrel. But can you be more specific? Bear in mind the abstract connection.
A Barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs.
A beer barrel
Specifically, real ale :)
Not necessarily a beer barrel.
A firkin?
Not a firkin.
A biscuit barrel?
Not a biscuit barrel.
Hint: It's not about what's in it ? quite the opposite!
The "?" was supposed to be a "?".
Er, not quite. It was supposed to be a "—". Let's see if that gets through.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel?
Scraping etc.? No, but that's more in the right direction.
The first word is the indefinite article.
A barrel organ?
Perhaps penelope could rustle a Dutch one up.
Not a barrel organ.
Do we have a stuck fermentation of ideas? A sort of barrel, that features in a figurative expression or saying.
A sort of barrel that has fish in it that can be easily shot
OK, that's probably not right.
There's a surprisingly lage number of figurative expressions involving barrels. Fish, for the shooting of, is not the one.
"lage": a synonym for "several", used of a severality that due to attentional bias one experiences as surprisingly larger than 1.
A barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs. Hint: nor a barrel of anything else!
An empty barrel?
YES! *the crowd's applause is drowned out by a tap on the side of one*
Oh, dear. Being a smartar*e I am now lumbered with the spile-shaped batton.
Let me think. Ah, yes! abstract with strong animal, vegetable and mineral connections.
The sound made by a tree falling in the forest when no-one is present to hear it?
[Raak] NO - abstract but not metaphysical
A fictional animal?
An organisation?
A stock phrase or saying?
[GL] Fictional? - NO
[Rosie] Organization? - YES
[Raak] Phrase or Saying? - NO
Created after 1900?
A governmental organisation?
Based in Europe?
Sorry for delay, have been away.
[Rosie] After 1900? - YES
[Raak] Big Brother? - NO
[GL] European? - YES
A scientific organisation?
[Raak] Scientific? - NO * audience chuckles *
A cult?
An NGO?
[Raak] cult? - NO * some guffawing in the audience * (well, some might say it is)
[Bismarck] NGO? - Mmmm. Tricky, probably NO
The National Trust?
Is it classed as a charity /not-for-profit?
A religion?
[Rosie] NT? - NO
[Bismarck] Charitable? - NO * more audience chuckling *
[Phil] Godbothering? - NO * further tittering *
Do they sponsor a football team?
Does it have its own URL?
The Mafia?
[Bismarck] Sponsorship? - NO
[Raak] URL? Why, YES
[Rosie] Those nice Sicilian gentlemen? - NO
An organised religion, then?
I'm taking a clue from the audience here...
Recapitulons, mes amis...
Post-1900 European company, with pretensions among supporters to be quasi-religious and quasi-scientific, yet not an NGO and not important enough to sponsor the footie. Neither the Mafia, nor their cousins the NT. Links to animal, vegetable and mineral. Hmmmm.
Are they able to ban people from the exercise of their professions?
[Knobbly] Godbothering with form? - NO * Phil ruled that out *
[Bismarck] - Big Stick? - NO
Does it begin with P?
...just to show gratitude for Bismarck's efforts by making a considered contribution ;)
The East India Company?
Do ships enter into this at all?
Eton?
[Tuj] P-ish? - NO (not one to be seen in the AOTC)
[Raak] Bubble? - NO (the right number of words, though)
[Bismarck] - Harbourish? - NO
[Rosie] The origin of our present governing classes? - NO
Is this a real-life organisation, or one that exists only on a screen?
[Bismarck] Real or imagery? - er, YES. * sporadic clapping from audience *
Logical NOR should have been used in previous question. Ahem. Is this an imaginary company?
[Bismarck] Virtual? - NO

Hint: The AOTC has 4 words one being the definite article it exists on screen.

The League of Gentlemen?
Never watched it; only vaguely even heard of it; but it popped into my head after reading over the game so I thought I'd go for an audacious lurker's victory.
[CdM] LOG? - NO
The Great Western Railway?
Is the third word "of"?
[Rosie] God's Wonderful Railway? - sadly, NO
[Raak] of-ly? NO

* audience shuffling *

Is this organisation viewed favourably by the British population?
[Rosie] Favourable to the Brits - mmmm, NO (not lately, anyway)
The European Court of Justice?
[Rosie] ECoJ? - NO * sporadic clapping from audience *
The Arsenal?
[Bimarck] The Gunners? - NO. * audience getting restless *
A political party?
Ah... do I hear a few bars of the prelude to Charpentier's Te Deum?
The European Court of Human Rights?
Well, it IS down the road from me...
[Bismarck] Party? - NO
[nights] ECHR? - NO * a few random claps from the audience *
Was my guess a bit too subtle? Is it the European Broadcasting Union?
[Knobbly] EBU? - NO * audience wakes up with enthusiastic clapping *
Is this a European attempt to celebrate the diversity of culture?
[Bismarck] multicultural? - YES! * audience getting excited *
Musical culture?
[Bismarck] music? - YES! * audience wild with anticipation *
The Eurovision Song Contest?
[Rosie] Tat for the masses? - YES!!!! at last.

Hands over the tacky microphone-shaped baton to Rosie

I could object that the Eurovision Song Contest is not an organisation (whereas the EBU is which is why I went for that), but I wouldn't want to be accused of taking this too seriously.
I also don't want the baton at the moment.
As you were...
Blast! beaten to it. Rosie, congratulations. May your all dihydrogen oxide be changed to dihydrogen dioxide for twenty milliseconds.
Peroxide blonde
(Bismarck) Now you see it, now you don't.
And the next object is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Human animal?
(Softers) Human? Humans are involved but essentially NO.
Is it green?
Does it begin with P?
Does it make a noise?
Can I live without it?
Sorry for the delay
(Bismarck) NO, not green.
(Tuj) P? Not in any language I can think of.
(Knobbly) A noise? YES, it must have done.
(Boolbar) Essential for life? NO.
The Llangollen Amateur Vivisectionists' Society! It just came to me in a flash.
(Bismarck) Dee-scission? I'm afraid not.
Fictional?
Fictional?
Oops.
Fictional?
The Big Bang?
Going for an early attempt...
Is it a human invention?
(Raak + Gusset Login) NO, not fictional.
(Knobbly) NO, not the Big Bang.
(Tuj) YES, human, but I wouldn't call it an invention.
A philosophical concept?
(Raak) NO, not philosophical, not a concept.
Does it still exist?
(Bismarck) Still exist? NO.
Associated with a particular geographical locale?
Also, could you clarify an earlier answer? When Boolbar asked "Can I live without it?", was your answer of "NO" directed to that question or your contrarily-rephrased "Essential for life?"?
(Tuj) Point taken. The rephrasing had got a bit out of hand. The answer to "Can I live without it?" is YES. As for your actual question, the answer is YES, followed by *audience animation*.
Todo with the planet taken as a whole?
Animal bit-were they raised for food?
(Raak) NO, not to do with the whole planet.
(Bismarck) For food? YES.
May not be able to have another guess for a while, so I'll try bovine spongiform encephalitis.
Did it exist for a specific period of time?
[Rosie] An animated audience, eh? At least no people were harmed in the making of assistance-giving reactions =)
(Bismarck) Mad cow? Now who am I thinking of? I'm afraid the answer is NO.
(Tuj) YES. *even more audience animation*
Powdered egg?
Some sort of public event?
(Softers) Powdered egg? Good stuff - it wasn't even on the ration IIRC. But NOT the answer.
(Raak) A public event? Certainly not intended as such though most of the public would be aware of it.
Cheese rolling?
Cheese rolling? Er, NO.
Did it happen in the UK?
(Bismarck) In the UK? Essentially NO, though I suspect some elements of it did.
A global event?
(Softers) NO, not global
was the specific geographic locale in Europe?
(Bismarck) In Europe? Well, YES, sort of.
Confusticated... has a 'specific' locale (++audience animation) 'sort of' in the European continent and 'sort of not' in the UK. Ireland?
Deconfustificationment
(Bismarck) Specific locale, YES. European continent? NO, but a strict geographer may disagree. Ireland? NO. If I say much more I may as well tell you the answer.
a political event?
Thanks, Rosie. Let's try for the timing - did this happen within your living memory?
(Raak) Political? YES.
(Bismarck) Within my living memory? YES.
an event relating to the EU?
(Raak) NO, not related to the EU.
Did it happen in the previous century?
Suez crisis?
in 1989?
(Bismarck) 20th century? YES.
(Software) NO, not the Suez crisis.
(Raak) In 1989? NO.
1970's?
(Bismarck) 1970's? Partly, YES.
Were fish involved?
(Bismarck) Fish? YES, they were indeed.
Did Iceland win at least 3-0?
(Bismarck) YES. That, I recall, was the score.
"The Phantom Menace", the cut that left the fish-slapping dance scene in?
Stop taking the piss
(Bismarck) NO, it wasn't that one.
The library, you say?
all right, all right... it's the Cod Wars.
It is, of course, the COD WARS. Well done. Take this giant baton-shaped fish finger and proceed to the next object.
Well, nothing for it now (gulp)...
The next object is MINERAL with a side order of location, as there may be multiple instances.
man-made?
[Raak] YES.
Metal?
[Raak] NO, not so as you'd notice
Does it begin with P?
fffrrttt
Mainly stone?
[Tuj] NO, not in any language I am aware of oblig.
[Raak] YES
On Earth?
[Raak] Terrestrial? YES.
Habitable?
[Tuj] NO.
underground?
In Europe?
[Raak] buried? NO
[Tuj] EU-ish? YES
Arc de Triomphe?
[Software] Etoile? NO.
Is it in an urban area?
[Rosie] Downtown? YES.
A statue?
A tourist attraction?
[Rosie] YES
[Raak] YES
Oh and in general their is the odd approving noise from the audience
Nelson's Column?
[Raak] YES - audience cheering but then subsiding as that's the main dish, but the "side order" needs to be found too.
The actual statue of Nelson?
[Raak] Trafalgar Square? NO, that would be too easy... Some applause from the right wing of the audience.
The Fourth Plinth?
^[Software] NO.
The Trafalgar Square lions?
[Knobbly] Felines? NO.
Hint - Nelson was quite well regarded in many placed.
In Menorca?
Is it in London?
[Software] Balearics? NO.
[Raak] City? NO.
So, the AOTC isn't in London, but the audience cheered Nelson's column...
Is it in Scotland?
[Boolbar] North o' the border? NO. A few claps from the audience, though.
Geordieland?
[Software] Tyne? NO
Ireland?
[Gusset] YES. Audience sensation, as they say.
Then it is surely Nelson's Pillar.
Audience goes wild for [Raak] Nelson's pillar is correct! Well done sir. Please take this green pillar-shaped baton and proceed with the next round.
Remind me never to run a relay with Raak, won't you :-)
Oh, ah. Um. The next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Snoopy's friend Woodstock?
Not Woodstock.
A wildlife programme?
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] Not a wildlife programme.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P. (slight oohing sounds from audience)
Is the animal non-human?
(Some laughter) Not non-human.
Is the non-non-human not male?
Is the non-non-human principally famous for literary appearances?
[B] Might or might not be male.
[G] Not literary appearances, no.
Does the Abstract refer to the title or role of the non-non-human of indeterminate sex?
Be there a sporting connection?
[R] (polite applause) Yes, the Abstract has to do with the title or role (but there is more to the Abstractness than that).
[T] No sporting connection.
Was this known of in the year 1900?
Was this known of in the year 1900? One could take different interpretations, about which I can imagine philosophers of language debating endlessly. I shall interpret the words on the card as implying the answer: Yes.
Would you expect to find this mentioned in a book of World Records?
[Tuj] Would not be mentioned in a book of World Records.
Is/Was the person an inventor?
An inventor? Unlikely, I think.
Is the Animal one specific example of its kind?
[Bismarck] Not a specific example of its kind.
Is this an unknown person?
[Dujon] Yes, an unknown person. Although not totally.
Something like The Bogeyman?
[Rosie] (laughter!) Many would say there's a strong possibility of this thing being very like The Bogeyman.
In the UK, is there only one of this?
[Rosie] In the UK, there is none of this.
The yeti?
[Software] Not the yeti.
Is this anything to do with politics?
[Rosie] (applause!) It is to do with politics.
To do with the EU?
[Rosie] Not the EU.
The leader of the first communal state?
[Dujon] Not sure what a communal state is, but no.
Is this an American thing?
(Applause!) It is an American thing.
Are eagles involved?
No eagles are involved.
Is it currently in the news?
Yes, it is currently in the news.
The Republican Party campaign for the Presidency?
A lame duck, as in "Obama is a lame duck president?"
[Rosie] (more applause!) Very close, but not the answer.
[Bismarck] Absolutely not a lame duck.
The American Presidential race?
[Bismarck] (the audience enthusiastically cheer on the runners) You are getting closer, but that is not yet the answer.
Hillary Clinton's campaign to become President?
[Rosie] (more cheering) Not Hillary Clinton's campaign either.
The US election?
[Software] (still cheering, you're thinking on the right lines) Not the US election.
You only have a few days to get this.
I'm off on holiday to Switzerland this Wednesday.
Do any dead people come into this?
[Bismarck] Dead people cannot come into this.
Going once...
The Canadian election?
Televised debates?
Not the Canadian election, or televised debates.
Hint: In a sense, this thing does not exist, but it is not fictional. For a period of time it does exist, and afterwards it again doesn't exist.
Going twice...
The thing does not exist right now, but it will in the near future, for a while.
Election promises?
Not election promises, but getting closer. It definitely has something to do with an election.
The guillotine will fall before midnight today.
The wall between the US and Mexico, as suggested by one of the candidates?
I've no time to take over... but I suspect the words "elect" and "president" might be needed.
[B] Not the wall.
[A] One of those words is on the card!
Another hint
The word "next" is also on the card.
And the winner is...
The first person to say "The next president of the United States."
Is it me?
Assuming Raak is now away, I presume to draw a line
Does that make it my go? Bugger... I mean goldarn it
OK, this is mineral. Play on!
Metallic?
Oily?
In a state that was fashioned by humans?
Is there only one?
[S] Not metal. (There may be some metallic atoms knocking around for aught I know or care.)
[R] Not oleaginous.
[Bi] Man-made, yes.
[Bo] There is only one of the AOTC, although there are other similar... things.
Stone?
Mount Rushmore?
Stone Henge?
Is it in the USA?
[R] Yes, stone. Almost entirely I should think.
[B] (A solitary applau is hurriedly shushed) No, not Mt Rushmore
[GL] It is not a henge of stone
[B] Not in 'Murica (U S of)
Is it a mountain?
Cleopatra's needle?
Is it a statue?
Does it begin with P?
[D] Hmm... Well, it wasn't when I thought of it, but actually a mountain is called this too.
[S] It is no part of Cleopatra's sewing kit
[B] Not a statue
[T] It literally doesn't begin with P
Does it exist today?
Is it in Africa?
[Bi] Still there, yes, but not in Africa.
Petra?
The parthenon?
Is it a monument?
Is it a castle?
Is it inside a building?
[GL & S] Not Petra, the Parthenon or anywhere else beginning with P.
[R] It is a monument in the sense of 'site of historical importance', but not in the sense of 'structure erected to commemorate an event or person'.
[Bi] Not a castle by any sensible definition.
[Boo] Not found in a buiding.
Is it in England?
Is it in Scotland?
[Bi] Not in jolly old England.
[Boo] Not in bonny Scotland.
In Europe?
[R] Not in Europe neither. Where's left that isn't Europe, Africa or the USA?
Is it in Australasia?
It might be South America. is it?
Is it in Canada?
Is it on the Moon?
Was it man-made within the last 1000 years?
[Bi] It sure is in South America..
[GL & R] See above.
[Bo] Last 1,000 years, yes.
Is it in Brazil?
Macchu Picchu?
[Bo] Not Brazil.
[Bi] Indeed yes, therefore *Wild applause for Bismarck*
I'd better get back on the campaign trail...
Oh. Oh! And I thought that had no chance because of the 'P' in Picchu, as perennially suggested by Tuj. But I shall humbly take it upon myself to climb down this peak and devise another riddle. But first, this line:

Right, time for something Animal

Human?
Does it have two eyes?
[R] Not human
[B] Indeed they all do
Four legs?
Do these animals live on land?
Hamsters?
...no P...
Native to the UK?
Taste nice?
[So] Yes.
[Bo] Yes.
[Tu] No.
[Ra] Yes.
[Ro] I have only eaten one of this type of animal and it was nice.
Horses?
[GuLo] That gets an outbreak of clapping, with the odd whoop, holler, and whinny. However, it's not right.
Hedgehogs?
[Bo] No, we are spineless today.
Fillet of unborn horse, simmered in its own amniotic fluid?
Are these animals mammalian?
Hare?
[Ra] Ergh... No.
[Bo] Yes, they are.
[So] No.
Pig?
[Bo] Pigs are not part of this family.
Are we talking bovine here?
[Bo] No, there are no cows in this field.
Rabbit?
Goat?
[Ro] Rabbits are no part of this breed.
[Bo] Caprids, likewise, are not typical.
Deer?
[So] Deer, no. Please stop the ruminating.
Are these beasts regarded as pests?
Are these animals ungulates?
[Ro] I don't believe that even hunters could maintain they were pests.
[Bo] Yes, they all take their ungulation seriously.
Camels?
A Shetland pony?
[Ra] The Camelidae are out of reckoning. Audience, though, is getting the hump.
[Ro] Well, that gets a clap, but [Gusset Login] got there firster and better.
Do they still exist?
[Ra] They certainly exist today.
A beast of burden?
Is it a crossbreed?
[Ro] The horses certainly are, but I don't think anyone has ever tried the others.
[Bo] No miscegenation involved.
Equids generally?
[Ra] Gusset guessed that already. Still it gets a round vigorous if impatient applause and subdued cries of "Get on with it!" and "Can someone find us a zoologist?"
Odd-toed ungulates, a.k.a. Perissodactyla?
We have a winner!
And the zoologist appears, and with sage wisdom provides the answer. Therefore *Wild applause for Raak!*
For you sir, take your choice of baton engraved with a rhino, tapir, zebra, or what might be a horse, and follow the blue lights over there for the interview.
(I was waiting for [Tuj] to ask the p-question...)
The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
Is it that boulder that Sisyphus has to push up a hill?
Is it decorative?
[B1] Nice idea,but not Sisyphus? boulder.
[B2] Not decorative.
Is the mineral in liquid form?
[Boolbar] Not liquid.
Is it the name of a mineral?
Does it begin with P?
Whoops, am I late? Sorry Bism =)
Stone?
[Bismarck] Not the name of a mineral.
[Zarquon] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Yes, mainly stone.
Is this found in the Bible?
[Boolbar] It is not in the Bible.
A bridge?
A geologic term?
Is it unique?
[Raak] I see your reference, and I appreciate it =)
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
[Bismarck] Not a geologic term.
[Tuj] Er...the MINERAL thing is unique, and the ABSTRACT thing is, broadly speaking, unique, but the MINERAL thing and the ABSTRACT thing are not the same thing.
Mount Everest?
[Bismarck] Not Mount Everest.
(Not sure how Mount Everest could be abstract, unless there's a novel called that.)
Stone me?
[Software] Not a figurative expression.
A geographic term?
Proper names are intrinsically abstract. I'm sure Wittgenstein said that, if not I'm making it up.
[Bismarck] Not a geographic term. Also, whether it is a proper name (that would be another question), proper name-ness is not the ground for this thing's abstractness.
(It seems to me, pace Wittgenstein, that The Royal Festival Hall (for example) is very concrete.)
Is the MINERAL thing human-made?
[Boolbar] It is man-made!
Is it comestible?
[Bismarck] Not comestible.
Does it involve a proper name?
Is this the Royal Festival Hall?
Is the mineral part a building?
[B1a] It does involve a proper name.
[B1b] But is not the RFH.
[B2] Is a building!
Is this building in Europe?
[Boolbar] It is, or was, in Europe.
Does it still exist?
[Bismarck] That is argued over, but the simplest answer is that no, it no longer exists.
Is this building in the British Isles?
Mysteriouser and mysteriouser... European building that may or may not exist, named by or after someone, but not decorative.
[Bismarck] Not in the British Isles.
Is its putative non-existence the result of politics?
[Rosie] Isn't everything the result of politics?
Perhaps I have been too obscure about its existence. It was built; it was partly dismantled, and partly fell into ruin, which is why it no longer exists.
[Bismarck] Although it does involve a proper name, the name is not the name of a person.
Right, this is far too vague up to here, could be anything from the Teutoburg Wall through Horta's Maison du Peuple to the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Is it in Germany?
[Bismarck] Not in Germany.
Alhambra?
[GL] Not the Alhambra. (That still exists anyway.)
Was it in Scandinavia?
A fortification such as a castle?
(Raak) re. politics. Not my excessive smoking.
[Rosie] Yes, this could be classified as a fortification. But was not a castle.
Was/Is it in France?
[Bismarck] Not France.
Is/Was it in Greece?
The Seigfried line?
[Boolbar] Not Greece.
[Software] Not the Siegfried line.
Did the Romans build it?
[Boolbar] Not built by the Romans.
Was it in the Balkans?
Scandinavia q still outstanding?
[Bismarck] Not in Scandinavia or the Balkans.
We'd better try Italy, then. Is it in Italy?
Is it in Spain?
Is it in one of the Visegrad countries?
getting there, getting there...
Not in Italy, Spain, ...(pause to google)..., or in Visegrad.
Is it in one of the Benelux countries?
[Bismarck] Not Benelux.
The audience is yawning and fidgetting.
Was it in a country whose name ends with a vowel?
As far as an English speaking person is concerned.
Is it in Switzerland?
It's not just the audience... still got Romania, Moldova, European Russia, Liechtenstein, European Turkey, Slovenia, Austria, Malta, Cyprus, and the Baltic countries to go. Let's see who cracks first.
Oh yes, there's Portugal too. Is it in Portugal?
[Bismarck] The country ends with a vowel. As indeed do most countries.
Not Switzerland. One of that list does apply, though.
Not Portugal.
One might try other angles. After all, how much would the country really tell you? What sort of building, what time period, and that abstract thing that no-one is asking about. I expect the answer is quite well known to most people here.
There are five words on the card.
Was this building still in use in 1900?
[Boolbar] Not in use in 1900.
That makes things clearer. Did people live in it?
[Bismarck] This building was not for living in.
Did this exist before 1900?
Was this a place of entertainment?
[Bismarck] Existed before 1900.
[Boolbar] Not a place of entertainment.
Any connection with horror stories?
A place of worship?
Did this exist B.C.?
[Rosie] Aaaaaaahhhhh???? No.
[Boolbar] Not a place of worship.
[Bismarck] Did not exist B.C.
Was this structure used for holding back or containing water?
[Boolbar] Not waterworks.
Was this structure a defensive wall?
A ripple of applause, as the stage of Discovery of the Footprints is attained. "These traces can no more be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward."
Not a defensive wall.
Was it built by a religious order?
Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
triumphal arch?
[B] Not a triumphal arch.
Is the AOTC a book title?
[B] Not a book title.
Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?
[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)
Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?
I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!
[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.
(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?
I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!
[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]
[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.
Do precious metals come into this?
[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.
[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.
All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?
Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.
Are we looking for a piece of music here?
I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.
Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.
[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.
Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.
This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.
Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.
Winners comments
I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.
So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.
Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.
Is it man made?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is the first word "The"?
Is there only one of this?
[GL] Artificial? No.
[Kn] Bigger than small? Yes.
[Ra] Definite article? Yes.
[Bo] Unique? Yes.
A precious stone?
[Ra] Gem-quality? No.
Liquid?
Is it a mountain?
Is it a natural feature?
[GL] No.
[Bo] No.
[Ro] Yes, on balance.
A waterway?
Is it larger than Wales?
[Ra] Wet? No.
[Bo] Fwy na Cymru? Yes.
England
Oi! Mwy na Chymru, 'sgwelwch yn dda.
Is it not on the Earth?
[Ro] Anglo? No.
[Bo] Extraterrestrial? Yes.
Mars?
[Ro] Red planet? No.
The Milky Way? (Other chocolate bars are available)
Is it within our Solar System?
[Kn] No.
[Bo] No.
Is it a galaxy?
Chocolate bar theme continuing.
A nebula?
Applause and the odd Janx spirit all around
[Bo] Yes!
Hidden textThey should have praline centres, all that black hole-at-the-centre theory is due for revision

[Ra] No.
The Magellanic Clouds?
[Ro] Star cluster? No.
The Andromeda Galaxy?
Take a bow, Boolbar!
The winning move and within twenty questions, a fine effort. Take this complimentary Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster and proceed to the winner's enclosure.
Recovers from hard hitting but lemony hangover
Wow! Winning this is out of this world! And thanks for the bow, I'll pop it in my hair. Um, the next one is
ABSTRACT & ANIMAL
Aslan?
A painting?
Animal part fearsome?
[Raak] No wardrobe based lion.
[Bismark] No framed masterpiece.
[Rosie] To some I'm sure. Frightening. Audience nodding
is the animal one that might be found in the wild?
Is the animal a snake?
[Bismarck] You wouldn't really say that about this animal, so let's go for no.
[Rosie] No.
Thinking about it, the AOTC is abstract involving an abstract animal, so my answer to Rosie's "fearsome" question is more to do with the abstract animal and not the isolated animal alone. Sorry for any confusion caused. I'm more awake today. As you were.
Is the animal extinct?
[Bismarck] Definitely not!
A sacred cow?
Is the AOTC an idiomatic phrase?
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.
A mythological creature?
An heraldic animal?
Wonders when someone will ask the usual "animal" question.
[Raak] The AOTC is not a mythological creature, but the animal part does appear in myths.
[Superman] I can find examples of the animal part in heraldic crests, but is not usually thought of as such.
A snake in the grass?
[Raak] Alas no.
Cheshire cat?
[Bismarck] No grins for you either.
A quadruped?
Is the abstract bit a literary reference?
[Superman] No.
[Bismarck] Yes!   Audience wake up and applaud.
Is the animal a human?
[Gusset Login] Yes!
So we are looking for somebody in a book... Is the perspn one of those Hero With a Thousand Faces types?.
The man with no name?
[Bismarck] Not one of those types.
[Gusset Login] Not without a name.
An historical (real) personage?
Is the personage male?
[Superman & Bismarck] Can you share this "No" between you? I'm running out of them. Neither real or male.
Is she a religious figure?
Does she have a statue in Denmark?
Liberty?
Britannia?
[All] No! Although I can't guarantee that there is not a statue somewhere in Denmark made by a bored sculptor and placed in their garden :)
Associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Yes!
Is that country in Europe?
[Superman] Yes!
British Isles?
Bernadette Soubirous?
[Bismarck] Yes!
[Raak] Not her.
Boudicca?
The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street?
[Raak] Not her either.
[Gusset Login] I like the way you think, but no.
 
The basics so far... Animal=Human (humans are found in myths, not extinct, etc.) Human=female with a name, not a religious figure. Overall a literary reference and connected with the British Isles.
Alice in Wonderland?
[Superman] Not her. Even through the looking glass.
Does this character have a pib named after her?
-pib+pub..
[Superman] Not that I know of (pibs or pubs). Without a list of all pub names worldwide it is hard to be certain. But a google search shows nothing, although I did find a pub in the UK with a very connected name.
From Arthurian legends?
Does the good lassie turn up in a play?
[Raak] No.
[Bismarck] If she does (and she has) it is not the original source, so don't be distracted by that.
Maid Marian?
[Raak] No.
Was the literary reference made after 1900?
[Bismarck] Not that recent, no.
Royalty?
[Raak] No.
Involved with the occult?
Scottish?
[Bismarck] No.
[Raak] Smattering of audience going 'oooh'   There is an aspect of the AOTC that would come under the broad sweep of the occult. However the fictional female in the AOTC was not involved with the occult.
Mother Shipton?
Though I have admit she might have been real.
[Superman] Not her.
Originating after 1600?
[Raak] It is my great pleasure to say "yes".
Shakespeare's Dark lady?
[Raak] Nor her.
 
Just to clarify and hint : when I said earlier "...but the animal part does appear in myths." I was referring to humans in general for the animal part (as people were trying to identify the animal at that point), not this particular literary fictional human female character.
One of the royalty?
The White Lady?
Would it help to define the geographical appurtenance of said female more closely?
[Superman] No to Royalty and not The White Lady but the latter gets the audience murmuring.
[Bismarck] I suspect it would help.
I'm game... Welsh lady?
[Bismarck] Best hide from those people with shotguns then... As for Wales, no.
it's the leg i was referring to, thanks for the sympathy. Ireland?
[Bismarck] Nor Ireland. That should narrow it down a bit :)
Wilkie Collins' Woman in White?
(arriving late here, I am just reacting to the recent murmur from the audience)
[gil] Nice try, but no.   Audience are looking more expectant now.
Irene Adler?
[Raak] To Sherlock Holmes she may be always the woman. But not this time.
Lack of inspiration leaves brute force... North of Manchester?
[Bismarck] Yes!
19th century?
[Raak] Yes! Yes!
from Dickens?
from the Bront?s?
Try &euml; for ë
[Raak] Not the Dickens.
[Superman] Shouting over the audience cheering   Yes! From the Brontës!
Oh great, never read any of them. Wikipedia suggests Jane Eyre as a possibility, is that it?
[Superman & Wikipedia] Not that possibility.
Bront?s, Brontë, Bront. Testing. Still no idea, though.
Is the AOTC a personage in 'Jane Eyre'?
[Superman] Not that book no.
Start to overheat with anticipation : someone opens a window.
Oh, go on then: Agnes Grey?
[Superman] Not her, or any other shade of grey.
Lucy Snowe?
C'mon Boolbar, we all want to know if gil has it!
[Superman] Busy weekend and...
[gil] No. [hint : wrong Brontë]
Nelly Dean?
[Superman] No but... Some audience applause and whooping
Isabella Linton?
[Superman] No. Still the wrong character. The audience fall silent. Only the sound of a branch tapping on the window can be heard.
 
Note that the AOTC does have an extra part than just the character's name : see murmur above.
Is there nobody out there that has ever read this stuff and can put us put of our misery?
Nobody wants to take the baton at this time of year. :)
I give up
Not a ghost of a chance of anyone getting this? While I wait I shall listen to some music.
Did I really start this game 14 years ago? (see wordy intro above)
To narrow down to 1, hopefully: is she already dead at the beginning of the novel?
It's one of 2 I had suspected... but I've had a go relatively recently
[Knobbly] At the beginning of the novel she is dead.
[Knobbly] Don't apologise, it's been me and Boolbar in here for the last how long, and Stockholm syndrome was beginning to set in.
Catherine Earnshaw?
Audience goes wild with excitement
[Knobbly] That'll do as I'm sure you muttered "The ghost of" just beforehand.  Plus I need a rest.  Have this baton made from a fir bough which oddly feels like a ice-cold hand...
Where did my post go?
Did I forget to click Stand again?
Anyway, as everyone drifts back from extended New Year breaks, this one is ANIMAL.
The dog ate it.
Is it a human?
Is it Arthur Pendragon?
Made of meat?
`
[Boolbar] Not human
[GL] Not -King Arthur
[Tuj] I'll say yes, but only on the basis that all animals are made of meat, so that's not particularly helpful.
Mammal?
Fictional?
A bird?
More than four legs?
[Gil] YES, mammalian ([Boolbar] and therefore not a bird)
[Rosie] Not fictional
[Bismark] No more than 4 legs.
A specific human?
A lolcat?
Larger than a 2 slice toaster?
Extinct?
[Raak] No specific human
[Bismarck] No can has cheezburger
[Chalky] YES bigger than a small toaster
[Superman] The species is not extinct.
bigger than a goat?
[gil] No bigger than a goat
Is it a member of the subfamily Caprinae?
A pet?
[Boolbar] Not Caprinae
[Rosie] YES, a pet.
Sounds doggish
Carnivorous?
Is it a Thing That Should Not Be?
[gil & Bismarck] YES, extremely doggish and indeed carnivorous
[Raak] I had to Popular Search Engine it, but no.
Irish Wolfhound?
[Superman] Not an Irish Wolfhound.
Winner of Best In Show at Crufts 2016?
Is it a specific dog?
[Chalky] Not BIS
[Boolbar] YES a specific dog.
Lassie?
[Bismarck] What's that, Lassie? No, not you.
Is this specific dog still alive?
Laika?
[Boolbar] Not still alive
[Raak] Not Laika.
Greyfriars Bobby?
Recap
So we are looking for a dead pet dog Knobbly once knew. Hmmmm.
[CdM] Not Greyfriars Bobby
[Bismarck] Choosing to interpret that as a question: No, I didn't know the dog personally.
Did or does the dog advertise something?
Did the dog appear on children's TV?
[Boolbar] YES, it is an advertising dog *Audience wakes up and begins to murmur excitedly*
[Raak] Not children's telly, no.
... the Andrex puppy?
The Dulux Old English Sheepdog?
[S & B] Neither of them.
Used in a logo?
[Boolbar] Logo, YES. *Murmuring increases - they were worried you'd been misled by the yes to adverts*
The HMV/RCA dog?
Jumping on the bandwagon
[Software] YES - The AOTC was actually its name (for an extra point?), but I'm minded to give you that.
Listen to this recording of me telling you you've won...
And the winner of the invisible AVMA game is... Can't read it, it's faded.
It is undoubtedly that much commented storm. His cable out to the islands has probably been cut and he is working feverishly to recover from the outage. With a wee bit of luck Stevie et al will sort out a piece of code and float it over in a bottle in order to help us all out. Of course that code will, of necessity, be in plain French.
Anyone going to be bold enough to start another?
Right, then. This is quite straightforward.

It's MINERAL. and nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Is this an element in the periodic table?
Is it an individual object?
Is it a human-made object?
Is it a rock?
Is it a plane?
(Bismarck) One of the elemnts? NO. *some muted giggles from the audience*
(Raak) An individual object? YES
(Boolbar) Human made? YES.
(Gusset Login) A rock? NO.
(Tuj) Aircraft, geometrical concept or carpentry tool? NONE of the above.
Was it human-made over 200 years ago?
Is it in the UK?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a monument?
Possibly misleading
It is an object but there are many of them. Loads of 'em, in fact.

If the questions had been phrased "Are they.....?" the answers would have been:
(Boolbar) YES, probably
(Superman) They're probably found in almost every country.
(Raak) Not a work of art.
(Bismarck) Not a monument.

[Rosie] It's an individual object, but they're found all over the place?
(Raak) It's an object, a thing, a whatsit, an oojamaflip. Individual in the sense of being different from other things. Not individual in the sense you meant though I suppose you could have a monogrammed one. Mea culpa.
A milestone?
A tool?
(Bismarck) A milestone? NO
(Raak) A tool? NO.
Are these items usually made of metal?
Is it mobile?
(Boolbar) Metallic? YES, but they don't have to be.
(Superman) Mobile? NO.
Can a person lift one of these?
(Raak) Can it be lifted? YES, very easily.
A marble?
(Raak) NO, not that easily.
A weapon of some sort?
An anchor?
(Boolbar) NO, not a weapon.
(Bismarck) An anchor? NO. Not terribly liftable.
Is this a household object?
Is this usually attached to, or part of, a building?
(Bismarck) Household object? YES
(Boolbar) Part of a building or attached thereto? YES.
A spoon?
A brick?
(Softers) NOT a spoon.
(Superman) NOT a brick.
A piece of door furniture?
Is it as big as a toaster?
(Raak) YES, though it stretches the imagination to call it furniture.
(Bismarck) Toaster-sized? NO.
Footrest?
Knockers!
(Software) Footrest? NO.
(Superman) Knockers? Where? Show me! NOT a percussive call-attention device..
A door-hinge?
(Raak) NOT a door-hinge but there is some association with the AOTC.
A jamb?
A door lock?
Knockers?
(Raak) Not a jamb.
(Bismarck) Not a door lock.
(Software) Knockers have been done, if you'll pardon the phrase. See Bismarck penult.
A gentle nudge: Not every house has one of these.
A cat flap?
A tradesmen's entrance?
Is this visible when the door is closed?
Letterbox?
(Raak,Boolbar, Software) None of those things but Superman has it. It's a cat-flap.

Over to you, Superman.

So this is a cat-flap?
Just let me sit here and meow plaintively for the next hour...
Ok, this one is ANIMAL. Let's hear your suggestions.
Is it human?
Is it food (for humans)?
We are off to a flyer!
[Boolbar] YES.
[Rosie] NO. Definitely not available for cannibalism.
A particular person?
Still alive?
First fence... going strong
[Software] YES, a particûlar character.
[Boolbar] Good question - the character is fictional, and as such never was alive, but nor has any death ever been mentioned.
A detective?
Was this fictional person created before the year 1900?
Second fence... jockeying for position
[Raak] NO, not their style.
[Boolbar] NO, more recent.
Female?
Early showing
[Raak] NO, definitely male.
A character created for a television show?
Does the character appear in only one work?
Tarzan?
Originally in a written work?
Third fence, a faller, leaders bunching
[Boolbar] NO, not for TV.
[Bismarck] NO, not an isolated incident.
[Software] NO-OOOO OOOO OOOO (sorry)
[Raak] YES, originally published on paper.
The principal character of the fiction?
Is this work the character appears in, a comic strip or graphic novel?
Fourth fence causes no problems to the leaders
[Raak] YES, this is the central character.
[Boolbar] YES, the character does appear in a comic strip or graphic novel.
A superhero?
Does the character appear in Viz?
At the fifth, over to Michael O'Hare
[Raak] Hero yes, superhero... On balance, NO. [Rosie] NO, not Viz.
Was a film made of this character?
A character from the Eagle comics?
That's going back a bit.
Loose horse, the field is split as they come to the sixth
[Bismarck] YES, a film was made with this character.
[Boolbar] NO, not from ye "Eagle".
Cow pie
Desperate Dan?
Did the character appear in a DC Comics publication?
Is the character a Marvel Comics creation?
At the sixth, a refusal, difficult landings but the race goes on
[Rosie] NO, not Dan.
[Bismarck] NO, not DC.
[Boolbar] NO, Marvel not.
Created by Neil Gaiman?
Dennis the Menace?
Did this character appear in a DC Thomson comic?
A character from 2000AD?
The water jump slows a few, but who is this coming up on the outside?
[Boolbar] NO, but good inspiration.
[Software] NO, though the character is certainly menacing.
[Bismarck] NO, no Beano, Dandy, Bunty etc.
[Raak] YES - Zarjaz! Won't be long now.
King Kong?
Judge Dredd?
Johnny Alpha?
Neck-and-neck finish!
[Software] NO, not the monkey.
[Gusset Login] NO, but it could have been the Dog.
[Raak] YES, it's everyone's favourite bobby on the beat in Mega-City One.

So Raak, you are the law! Please enter the winner's enclosure where Tharg will give you the keys to an enormous motorcycle: The rest of you into the weighing room where the Judges will execute a summary verdict.
The next is ANIMAL.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it human?
Is it fictional?
[S] Um... it is human, but not a human.
[B] Not fictional.
A nationality?
Not a nationality.
A profession?
A Band?
[B] Not a profession.
[GL] Not a band.
Does this human collective still exist today?
[B] (Q1) Not a human collective. (Q2) Exists today.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Is it a part of a human?
[B] Yes, a part of a human.
Is it a visible part of said human?
[B] It is visible (and not just to those who happen to know them rather well).
Is it still attached to the rest of the human?
[B] Still attached.
What Rak said.
Is it a sense organ?
Who nose?
Is it a hand?
Skin?
[R] Not a sense organ.
[B1] Not a hand.
[B2] Not skin.
Is it the hair on the head?
[B] applause It is the hair on the head.
A quiff?
[S] applause!! Having done a google search to determine what is and is not a quiff, I believe that this is not, strictly speaking, a quiff.
A duck's-arse haircut
Very fashionable when ah were a lad.
An Afro?
[R] Not, er, one of those.
[B] Not an afro.
Is it an individual person's hair?
[B] It is an individual person's hair.
This must be the hair of the Deal Leader whose initials are DT (and I don't mean Donald Tusk)
setting myself up for a big fall here :)
It is indeed Donald Trump's hair, and I have a really great baton for you, because our batons are the greatest in the world.
What a great baton I have got. Carefully ignoring all the previous administration may have done, I and only I have the answer you are all looking for. This will be done speedily, and is Vegetable.
Is it a tree or part of a tree?
Is it unique?
Commonly part of the human diet?
This is a great start, I am expecting to be able to choose my staff from among you boys and lady. Thanks for the questions, which are aligned to our solution and to which the following statement from Kellyanne, you know the one, will suffice:
[Boolbar] Yes, great question
[Tuj] Yes, of course, I don't do ordinary
[Rosie] Not unless you're North Korean, and my solution delegated to our great ambassador Mr McDonald will soon sort that out.
Is it a work of art?
Is it alive?
Is it a piece of furniture?
Amidst all the mess left by the previous incumbent and with no help at all from China during the eight days of our presidency, we are pursuing our way for greatness to become yours. Good thing! and in reply to these beauties, let me just say this:
[Raak] Bigly, no, and certainly not to my taste. Some more paint and gilt might rescue it. Sure, I could sell it to the Mexicans.
[Bismarck] I can deny that. Only Democrats could imagine it alive, though there is a resemblance in its aliveness to certain politicos I could mention. Wait for the revelations.
[Boolbar] Well, listen, I'm not biased, it's standing against a wall and I can put things on it, just like the Sec of State. But it doesn't speak or fall over, so it's either furniture or in line for a promotion.
A type of table?
Wait a moment while I hang up on some lady who thinks she's important. Ok. Yes, it is one of greatest types of table.
The desk in the Oval Office?
Delay caused by having to go out for a Chinese. The staff are whooping an' hollerin', that's not a bad guess, they think. So yes it has been but we need more clarification.
Presumably a specific OO desk? The "Resolute" desk?
King Arthur's Round Table?
Night, night.
Well now, that's mighty close. Not the Round Table, that's plain wrong. I sign all my presidential stuff on that Resolute desk, 'cos "resolute" is my middle name, like "you're fired." But while the staff are applauding you, Jared tells me you'll need the name of the desk given by a real industry dealer, not made out of some Limey boat.
The C&O desk?
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
Oh, cheers, and by the way it looks like your communications are tapped, there's an echo.
Here's one for the weekend: ABSTRACT, for a change.
An emotion?
Anything to do with politics?
[Gil] NO, not an emotion.
[Rosie] Whilst fairly universal, this should be associated less with politics than many other occupations.
A quality not associated with politics? Veracity?
[gil] NO, not truthfulness.
Is it a quality that is normally regarded as good?
Is self respect closely related to the AOTC?
[Dujon] NO.
Politics really isn't the way to go.
[Rosie] Neither good nor bad, but neutral.
Anything to do with numbers?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] YES, numbers are very frequently associated with the Answer.
[Tuj] NO, though a closely allied concept does. Maybe we can do it next time.
Solidity?
Is it a human invention?
[Sup] NO, not solidity. [Tuj] NO, not a human invention.
Is it a physical constant?
Gravity?
[Bo] There are several physical constants and at least one law that describe the AOTC, or attempt to fudge it, but no self-respecting physicist would admit that that AOTC as stated comes into it. They might use Tuj's P-word, though.
[Ro] NO, not gravity.
Chemistry?
The vagaries of the weather?
[Super] NO, not chemistry
[Rosie] Applause breaks out but dies away. NO, not the weather.
Murphy's law?
Is it... spooky?
Is it... sleazy?
[Superman] Scattered applause... M's law is often invoked, but on reflection it indicates the opposite of the AOTC.
[The Mighty Tuj] NO, unless you consider Forteana spooky
[Boolbar of Asgard] NO, even if you're lucky.
BTW it's none of the other five dwarves either.
The movements of the planets?
Something to do with quantum mechanics?
[Rosie] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, though more common as the P-word.
The structure of the atom?
Chaos theory?
[Ro] NO. Hint - more general concept than physics.
[Ra] NO, although the AOTC plays a role in it as well as in the film.
Is the P-word physics?
Philosophy?
[Dujon] NO. [Rosie] NO.
Probability?
[Boolbar the Not Improbable] Yay, that's the P-word, of which the AOTC is a synonym.
Statistics?
[Raak] NO, not stats.
Chance?
The winner of the lottery is...
ROSIE, it's your lucky day, you have selected the six winning letters in the correct order! Come down into the arena and take this baton, as well as your cheque for sixpence, redeemable at any branch of the Midland bank.
There with the C-word, as usual.

Now this one is

MINERAL and VEGETABLE and nothing whatsoever to do with steam locomotives.

Is it pea gravel?
Salted licorice?
A building?
Kew Gardens?
A grandfather clock?
NO, five times NO. Gusset Login is closest but still a long way off.
Is it something made by a human?
Stonehenge?
Does it still exist?
(Boolbar) Human-made? YES
(Software) Stonehenge? *Brief audience excitement*. NO
(Superman) Still in existence? YES, just about.
Was it deliberately made (rather than being the side-effect of having humans around)?
(Bismarck) Deliberately made? YES.
Is there only one?
Woodhenge?
Is it a path?
(Boolbar) YES, there is only one.
(Softers) NO, not Woodhenge.
(Superman) A path? NO, but some will regard it as such.
Is it in Europe?
The continent, obvs.
Did it have a defensive purpose?
Did it exist before 1 AD?
(Tuj) In Europe? YES
(Superman) Defensive purposes? YES, very largely.
(Bismarck) Before 1 AD? NO.
The Berlin Wall?
Is it in Wales?
Was it built by a bloke called Offa?
(Raak) Not the Berlin Wall.
(Boolbar) YES, most of it.
(Superman) Obviously not; he was a king FFS. For some reason or other his name is always associated with it.
I think we can say Superman has won, so well done you, aye. Take this baton, run with it and try not to fall into a ditch or make jokes about lesbians.
We go again. Here we go again...
Thank you, dear. Llwbr coeheddus and all that.

Without further ado, let me announce an
ANIMAL subject on the card. Listen carefully as the mystery voice reads out the clue.

Is it me?
Is it a human?
And as the game kicks off...
[Tuj] I honestly don't know. Let's get to the answer and find out, shall we?
[Boolbar] YES, and also NO.
A person also in fiction?
[Software] NO, not fictional.
*trying to think of something that both is, and is not, human* Is this a class of people?
Is it alive?
Is it a trade or profession?
Play is defensive...
[Bismarck] A clarification is needed. *clears throat*
Mystery Voice:The Yes was for "human", the No was for "a".
[Tuj] YES.
[Boolbar] NO, although one comes into it.
The human genome?
Yer, roight, but is it a class of people?
Anything to do with elections?
A foray tries to break the defensive line...
[Raak] NO, genetics doesn't come into it.
[Bismarck] YES. This will come back and bite me.
[Boolbar] NO, thank goodness, there has to be some respite somewhere.
Is it everyone who is going to win this game in the future?
[Boolbar] NO. Though I wish I had thought of it.
Are they found (or associated with) a single country?
Something to do with their names?
A physical characteristic?
Still early doors, tackles and possession going backwards and forwards
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Rosie] NO.
All good questions, though.
Do these people have a common interest? (e.g vole-polishing, trainspotting etc)
Politicians?
Have they all won or been awarded something?
Crossing the half-way line
[Rosie] YES, on the grounds they must have or they wouldn't be doing what they're doing.
[gil] NO. At least that was an easy one.
[Boolbar] NO, not yet, although traditionally being there involves winning something.
Anything to do with sport?
Rosie spots an opening and is off like a hare
[Rosie] *stands erupt in applause* YES.
Are these people spectators?
Drinks break
[Raak] No, this is happening on the pitch.
Does the AOTC mention a specific sport?
Is this a football team?
Something to do with cricket?
Play slows as referee's guide dog takes a leak
[Rosie] NO. Which surprised me when I looked it up.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Anyone for Tennis?
An aquatic sport?
An umpire?
NO to all of you.
A team?
A groundsman?
Stepovers and missed passes...
[Raak] "YES!!" shout the assembled multitudes.
[Rosie] NO, despite the valiant work of that undervalued person.
Are the team sitting down while competing?
An indoor sport?
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
A sport using a ball (or balls)?
Does this sport take place with large numbers of spectators?
They build patiently...
[Boolbar] YES, this is a ball game.
[Rosie] YES, it's quite popular.
Is rugby the name of the game?
Boolbar rises above the fray to claim the throw
[Boolbar] YES! A chorus of a rugby song breaks out.
So, it's a team, and it's rugby, could it be a rugby team?
Swing low, sweet chariot
[Raak] YES.
A specific rugby team?
Coming for to carry me home
[Raak]'Ot, innit... Since you didn't win the contest outright for saying "rugby team", it is logical that we are looking for a specific rugby team. Orrigh'?
The British Lions?
Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi...
[Rosie] The massed ranks break into male-voiced harmony. NO, but only because that's not their full name, which will spell trouble in the green community of it ever gets out. However, it's closer than I came to winning last time out, so you'd better catch this pass from the bottom of the ruck and power onwards, leaving kiwis scattered in your wake like Barry John reincarnated. The British and Irish Lions it is.
Gwyddwn i ddim dy fod Cymro.
Actually I find Rugby absurd and incomprehensible but we had to play it in school.
Never mind all that, the next one is

ANIMAL
Rats?
Shouldn't that be Prats?
(Tuj, Dujon) Not the intention of the AOTC, but could be.
A beast of myth and fable?
Human?
(Bismarck) Mythical beast? NO.
(Boolbar) Human? Yes.
Does politics come into this?
Alive?
One human?
(Superman) NO politics in this.
(Tuj) Alive? YES.
(Boolbar) One human? Could be, but rather unlikely.
Has this anything to do with a game?
(Bismarck) - NO, nothing to do with a game.
Anything to do with railways?
A family?
(Boolbar) Surprisingly, NO
(Superman) A distinct possibility, but not a requirement. *some audience animation*
Something to do with food?
The staff in a business?
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with food.
(Superman) NO, not the staff in a business.
Does this group of people share a common goal?
Does this group of people share a common country?
(Bismarck) YES, but a rather undefinable one.
(Boolbar) Share a common country? YES.
Has this group of people been around for a long time?
A group of musicians?
From the answer to Bismark's question
The Tory Party?
(Bismarck) In some form or other, YES
(Boolbar) Musos? Essentially NO, though the AOTC does not exclude the possibility.
(Software) The Tories? NO.
Is this a mixed group, or unisex?
(Bismarck) Could be unisex, but unlikely.
Does this group gather in one place from time to time?
(Boolbar) A very strange way to describe it but strictly speaking YES.
The Mafia?
Is the common country the UK?
(Superman) The Mafia? NO
(Bismarck)UK? Need not be but all members of the group have a common country.
This sounds so much like the entrants for the Eurovision or the ruling party in a country or the footie team that it's annoying me that that has all been ruled out. It seems that a national interest group with no link to politics, sport or music is required. Even family connections are tenuous. The heads of the Commonwealth?
(Superman) NOT those worthies. Try not to explode. The AOTC is an instantly recognisable entity but has few if any definite characteristics except one which is of course the AOTC itself.
Do these people observe something?
(Boolbar) Observers? NO.
Mornington Crescenters?
(gil) NO, not us lot
An orchestra?
(Bismarck) An orchestra? NO
Has this anything to do with an astronomical event?
Could this be the Merthyr Tydfil travelling supporter/s?
Shareholders at an AGM?
(Boolbar) Anything to do with an astronomical event? NO, not a thing.
(Superman) NOT those intrepid worthies, nor those of Cefn Druids, Stenhousemuir or Warlingham and Whyteleafe Rovers.
(Bismarcke) Shareholders at an AGM? NO.
Do the people in this group change from day to day?
(Boolbar) NO, not from day to day.
Does alcohol come into this at all?
Shopping?
Can you become a member of this group by being born?
(Superman) Booze? - NO
(Bismark) Shopping? - NO.
(Boolbar) A member of the group simply by being born? YES. *audience senses some insight into this utterly banal subject*
Queuing?
(Bismarcke) NO, not queueing.
The population of planet Earth?
(Raak) NO, not that extensive.
Something to do with royalty?
(Boolbar) Royalty? Could be theoretically, but extremely unlikely.
All people who share your birthday?
(Superman) Wot? Peter Cook, Jonafan Woss? NO, but you're moving towards the essential banality of the AOTC.
Hidden text17/11/42 if you must know :-)
Could this be found in Pittsburgh, PA, USA?
(drquuxum) In Pittsburg, Pa., USA? YES, it certainly could.
Er, Pittsburgh, that is.
Perhaps we're nearly there, but here's a recap:
The AOTC is a group of living humans (less than the population of Earth; could be just the one person but not likely, and could be unisex but not likely) who have been around a long time in some form or other; who share a common country (which could be the UK but not necessarily; they could be found in Pittsburgh, PA); who could be a family but not necessarily so; who share a common goal but a rather undefinable one, and could be said to gather in one place from time to time (but this would be a very strange way to describe it). You could become a member of this group just by being born.
The people in this group do not change from day to day, and they are not mythical, the staff of a business, a group of musicians (though this isn't excluded by the answer), the Tories, the Mafia, the heads of the Commonwealth, people who observe something, MCers, an orchestra, travelling football supporters, shareholders at an AGM or people who share a birthday, and are not connected with politics, a game, railways, food, an astronomical event, booze, shopping, queueing or royalty (well, could be, but extremely unlikely), and who are not intended to be rats or prats but could be.
Do the people in this group share a notable physical or medical trait?
(Tuj) NO - no typical physical or medical trait.
Does age come into it?
Does everyone belong to such a group?
Are hospitals involved in any way?
[Rosie] Your spelling of "Pittsburg" was canon from 1891-1911.
(Bismarck) Age? NO, not relevant.
(Boolbar) Not everyone but in a lot of countries nearly everyone. So in essence YES.
(drquuxum) NO, no hospitals involved. The pronunciation fits the old spelling, yes? In England with the new spelling it would be Pittsbra, approximately.
Is it something to do with where you are born?
Is a monetary exchange generally involved?
(Boolbar) Where you were born? NO
(drquuxum) Money? NO, not involved.
Religion?
(gil) NO, religion is not relevant.
Do addresses come into this?
(Boolbar) Addresses? In one way, YES, certainly. In a more general way, NO, not really.
People applying for a passport?
(Superman) NO, not that.
The residents of a named location?
(Boolbar)YES, literally so but not the AOTC.
The general population?
(Softers) NO, more specific than that.
Those on the voter rolls?
(Superman) NO, not the electoral register.
Anything to do with education?
(drquuxum) Hedgumacation? Nope.
That part of the population living in cities?
(Superman) City dwellers? NO.
The AOTC involves the location of people with respect to other people.
Do these people share their names with a television programme?
(dr Q) A TV programme? YES. *prolonged applause from audience, previously somnolent, not to say comatose*
Neighbours.
I eschewed the American spelling just for this.
(Dr Q) A noble act and a winning one. The actual AOTC is "next-door neighbours" but this is near enough if we're not to be here until the sun goes supergiant. I declare drquuxum the winner.
Thank you, Rosie. It's good to be back. Your next clue is…
ABSTRACT
Is this something that would exist without humans?
[Boolbar] NO.
An association of individuals with a common purpose?
[Rosie] NO.
Something to do with language or writing?
To do with art?
Can I perceive this through senses other than sight?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Bismarck] YES.
Anything to do with music?
[Rosie] NO. (or at best tangentially)
Anything to do with food or drink?
To do with philosophy?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Tuj] NO, and that's a little cheaty IMO ;-)
An aesthetic quality, e.g. beauty?
[Rosie] NO.
To do with mathematics?
[Raak] *thinks long and hard, trying to figure out how to answer this, and a sheepish reply emanates* YES?
A logical construct?
[Bismarck] Please define further?
Boolean logic?
Associated with a particular group of people?
[drq] =P
Something to do with sleep?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] NO. ;-D [Boolbar] NO.
Do maps come into it?
[Superman] NO.
Does set theory come into this?
[Boolbar] NO.
A symbol?
Would this have been known to humans over 100 years ago?
[Bismarck] YES. [Boolbar] YES.
A weather forecast?
[Rosie] NO.
A mathematical symbol?
Is this named after some person or people?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] YES. *smattering of applause*
A unit?
A theorem?
[Bismarck] NO. [Rosie] YES. *full audience applause*
That of Pythagoras?
[Software] NO. (Note: I changed around the order of Bismarck's and Rosie's posts for dramatic effect)
Electrical?
All units are named after someone with the exception of a Wales, an Olympic swimming pool and a London bus. This will be a long haul.
Tesla?
[Rosie] YES. [Bismarck] NO.
A three-letter word?
Does it contain a non-ASCII character?
[Rosie] SOMETIMES. [Raak] NO.
An Amp(ère)?
A British Thermal Unit should be good enough for anyone, what?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
*rupturous applesauce* YES, it was the Ampere, the SI unit of electrical current.
Ohm eye Gawd, I've won. What now?

Well, it's ANIMAL

Human?
Or are we dancer?
Primarily an aquatic being?
Female?
(Boolbar) Human? YES
(drquuxum) Aquatic? The mind boggles. NO.
(Bismarck) Female? YES
Charlotte Green?
It's been a while, but I still remember some of your proclivities, Rosie ;-)
Still alive?
Just the one person?
(Dr Q) The mellifluous Ms Green? Alas NO. Did you know she now reads the football results on Five Live? Such a relief from the routine snarly sports types.
(Boolbar) Alive? YES.
(Tuj) Just the one person? YES.
Fictitious?
A political figure?
A factual non-political figure?
(Dr Q) NO - Not fictitious.
(Boolbar) Political? - NO
(CdM) Factual? Not quite sure what you're getting at. This is a live non-politician.
European?
Athletic-type?
(Boolbar) European? YES
(drquuxum) Athletic type? NO. *audience crease themselves*
The Queen?
(Bismarck) Her Maj? NO. *audience amused*
Someone in the entertainment field (or at least purports to be)?
(drquuxum) Entertainment? YES.
British?
(Tuj) British? YES.
Has she ever appeared on Just a Minute?
(Bismarck) Just a minute? I don't know. I'd have thought not.
Hidden textI can't stand the programme
Known for singing?
(Boolbar) Known for singing? Er, NO. *some amusement in the audience*
Anything to do with the TV news?
Does she appear on-stage (that is, in person) with any regularity?
(Bismarck) News? NO.
(drquuxum) Not so much regularly as frequently.
Is she a Dame?
(Duj) A Dame? NO, at least not yet.
Does the person usually work with a comedic bent?
(Dr Q) Comedian? YES, but there are other strings to her bow.
Has she appeared on Have I Got News For You?
(Boolbar) HIGNFY? YES. *audience cheers*
Does she change the colour of her hair frequently?
Scottish?
(drquuxum) Hair colour change? I can't say for certain, but the answer is probably YES.
(Boolbar) Scottish? NO.
Jo Brand?
The splendid JO BRAND it is! Well done Dr Q. Your turn.
Woot! I've only seen a bit of Jo Brand's work on QI & HIGNFY; I hope to see more. In any event, the new category is:
MINERAL
Stone?
Is it something created by humans?
Was it once alive?
The Angel of the North?
[Rosie] YES. [Boolbar] NO. [Bismarck] NO. [Gusset] NO.
Is it not on planet Earth?
[Boolbar] YES, it is not on the Earth.
Is it real?
An exoplanet?
An asteroid?
A comet?
The Moon, now it's back after the eclipse?
Sorry for the delay.
[Superman] YES.
[Raak] NO.
[Rosie] MAYBE.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Rosie] PS - Jo Brand has been on Just A Minute, but not since 1999.
Pluto?
I'd have thought Jo Brand is too laconic for Just a Minute.
[Rosie] NO. Probably why she hasn't been on in 18 years.
Is it a collection of objects?
[Boolbar] NO.
A moon of another planet?
[Bismarck] YES. *audience woooooos*
Phobos?
In the Jovian system?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
Indeed, the Martian moon Phobos. That was quick.
Your turn, Rosie.
Does it be-
Oh, too late!
And the next object is:
ABSTRACT WITH MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Is it a process?
(drquuxum) NO, not a process.
Is it Art?
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
(Raak) Art? NO.
(Boolbar) Phrase etc, NO.
Is it something that has existed/would exist without humans?
(drquuxum) Would it exist/have existed without humans? YES.
A physical theory?
Chemistry?
(Raak) A physical theory? NO.
(Superman) NOT chemistry.
Is the mineral stone?
(Bismarck) Stone? NO.
A figurative expression?
Is it associated with a particular location?
(Raak) A figurative expression? CAN BE, but there is an equally valid literal meaning.
(Tuj) Associated with a partcular location? NO.
Geology?
(Bismarck) NO, nothing to do with geology.
Radioactive decay?
(Superman) Radioactive decay? NO.
Is it known to happen/exist anywhere outside of the planet Earth?
Anything to do with earth?
As in soil.
(Dr Q) Elsewhere than Earth? In a literal sense YES but that is not at all helpful.
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with earth in that sense.
Anything to do with communication?
(drquuxum) NO, nothing to do with communication.
Weather related?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *audience cheers*
A sh*t storm?
[Software] I feel like that would be more of "Animal connections". :D
is the mineral water?
(Software) Explosive diarrhea? NO.
(Superman) Water? YES.
Are clouds anything to do with this?
(Boolbar) Clouds? YES and NO.
Cloudy with sunny intervals and occasional rain spreading from the east with possible patches of fog and later on if the sky clears there may be some frost through the night?
The shipping forecast?
Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue?
They don't write them like that anymore.
(Raak and Bismarck) NO. It's not a forecast.
(Boolbar) Most definitely NOT a rainbow.
Lightning?
Contrails?
A t(r)opical storm?
(drquuxum) Lightning? NO.
(Raak) "Aircraft cirrus"? NO.
(Superman) NOT a storm of any kind.
Humidity?
(Dr Q) Humidity? NO. *some rather unkind sniggers from the audience*
Precipitation?
Is the water standing? (As opposed to running. Or sitting with its legs crossed)
Is the water frozen?
Flooding?
(Boolbar) Precipitation? NO. *audience sniggers turn to giggling*
(CdM) The water is not standing, it has withdrawn.
(drquuxum) Frozen? Impossible to say.
(Superman) Flooding? NO. *audience quite bewildered*
Is it something to do with a lack of rain?
The sudden withdrawal of the sea before a tsunami?
(Boolbar) A lack of rain? YES. *prolonged applause from the audience*
(Raak) Preparing for the inundation? NO.
Evaporation?
Drought?
(Superman) NOT evaporation.
(drquuxum)YESSSS! A total or very nearly total absence of aqueous entities. Well done Dr Q. We've got this little game sorted, haven't we?

Your turn again.

Given that Boolbar gave the clear winning clue, I'd be willing to let them have a go if they agree. [Offer expires in 48 hours]
The DrQ-Boolbar summit
Are the negotiations proceeding well, and will a communiqué be released in due course?
I suppose I'll defer to Boolbar at a later date. In the meantime, let's continue with the lesser-used...

VEGETABLE

Trump?
Can you smoke it?
Is it a foodstuff?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Rosie: YES.
Dairy-free yoghurt?
Raak: NO. *audience oohs already*
Does it grow from a grain?
Bismarck: PARTIALLY.
Is it used in making a drink?
Rosie: NO. *mild chortling from the audience*
Muesli?
A vegetarian form of imitation meat?
Superman: NO.
Raak: PARTIALLY.
Does soya come into it?
Superman: POSSIBLY.
In the AOTC, is the foodstuff for human consumption?
Superman: YES, but what does Star Wars have to do with this?
Ahem, WE'RE asking the questions, laddie. Is this fast food
Vat-grown meat?
Bismarck: NO, and that's "lassie" to you >:P
Raak: NO.
A vegetarian sausage?
I see I should pop by more often...
Boolbar: NO, and possibly so.
A breakfast cereal?
Bismarck: NO.
Quorn?
Whatever that is
Software: NO.
A complete meal?
Boolbar: YES.
A TV dinner?
Bismarck: NO.
Quinoa?
Whatever that is.
A breakfast meal?
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
"Pop tarts"?
I preferred the metal tarts, myself
Superman: NO.
One of these meal replacement mixtures fashionable among geeks, like Solyent, Huel, etc.?
Raak: NO.
Frozen pizza?
Bis: NO.
Does this meal include potato?
Boolbar: NO.
Do you find this in a fast food outlet?
Raak: NO.
Is this barbecued food?
Recap
Not sure we're getting close to the doctor's order. A recap:
IS a human foodstuff, and a complete potato-free meal thereof.
IS PARTIALLY grown from grain, vegetarian, and it might have some soya in it. You would only have it for breakfast if you're really wasted.
IS NOT ... pretty much everything else, including a drink constituent, pizza, breakfast cereal, ready dinner, veggie meat substitute, and fast food.
We're still waiting to find out if it's quinoa or barbecued.
Leftover question regarding quinoa: NO.
Boolbar (BBQ): NO.
Bis: Per Raak's question of "Vegetarian form of imitation meat", the answer was PARTIALLY, not NO.
Is the food/meal associated particularly with a country?
Bismarck: Debatable, but let's say YES.
Is it customarily eaten with chopsticks?
Steak and kidney pudding?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Are we looking for the constituent name of the ingredients like "Meat and two veg"?
Are looking for a name as It might appear on a menu, like "Waldorf salad"?
Bismarck #1: NO.
Bismarck #2: YES.
Is it Waldorf salad?
Bismarck: NO.
Nasi goreng?
Superman: Wot?
Well, obvs ain't that, then *ticks another tofu-containing dish off the list*
Is it a spicy meal?
Full English breakfast?
A vegie breakfast?
Rogan josh?
Boolbar: CAN BE; NOT OBLIGATORY.
Bismarck: NO.
Software: NO (but see previous commentary)
Superman: NO.
Some sort of soup?
Does salad come into it?
Can one obtain all the ingredients in the typical supermarket?
Boolbar: NO.
Bismarck: NO.
Raak: MAYBE? I'm not sure what would be considered "typical" in a British supermarket. A sufficiently-large USA supermarket would be a YES.
A quick lorainney? (as they say in my parts)
Superman: Wot?
Sheesh... a quiche lorraine?
Some type of pie?
Sup: NO.
Bool: NO.
Is it usually eaten hot?
Bool: YES.
Anyone? Bueller?
Does the meal include pasta?
Superman: YES. *wave of applause emanate from the audience as they are awoken from their slumber*
A spaghetti dish?
Bool: NO.
Lasagne/Lasagna ?
Gusset: YES. *Audience in resounding applause*
Lasagne pescatore?
Bis: NO.
Lasagna vegetarian?
Close enough
I was specifically going for "Vegan Lasagna" (with non-dairy Ricotta and TVP-like meat), but I figure with this lot it'd be a bit too pedantic.

Superman takes the victory and the next subject!

Oh like wow
I'd just like to thank you. And my lawyer. And my mother. And my brain surgeon. Without you it wouldn't be the same. And to all those millions who have contributed to this success, you're wonderful. Most of you are anyway. I sincerely hope vague praise is enough for you, because I'm keeping the rest.

But on with the show! Now greater, better, yellower, and it's...
ANIMAL !
Is it Tuj asking if it begins with P?
Edible?
Mammal?
Can you eat it?
Human?
Can you eat it? I dunno. Stupid old fool.
Unique?
Is it alive?
Incidentally, my first post in this game for nearly 17 months. oops!
Hello class
Your marks, in order:
[Boolbar] NO, leave Tuj alone.
[Raak] YES, but even so wait for lunch break
[Rosie] NO, we are not cannibals, and do fifty lines "I must not insult myself, others are there to do it"
[Tuj] NO, there are uncounted examples
[Phil] YES, unlike certain pupils in class 2B. Don't forget to give your name for the register.
Yeah, but is it human?
If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?
[Rosie] NO, now move on to exercise two.
[CdM] I see you have reached exercise 421, well done! NO, of course. Maybe you can sit next to Rosie and help him along.
Repeating: Mammal?
Is it a fish?
[Drq] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Is it a bird?
Hmm, so you answered "No" to 'If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?'. So you would not say "No" (ie. you would say "Yes"*) to the question "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?". Hence it does begin with "P".
* Or you might have answered "Maybe" which throws any attempt at logic out of the window.
A parrot, dead perhaps?
Does it fly?
Is it alive?
Ill logic
[Boolbar] I always wondered if "Bool" meant a Boolean logical construct and "bar" meant the logical inverse of that construct, thus permitting the assumption about the local valid of "true" and "false" of the "Boolbar" referential. Is it true?
[Software] NO, unwanted dead or alive.
[Raak] It does not fly of its own accord.
[Bismarck] Dead or alive makes no difference, it's the name of the thing I'm after.
Does it begin with P?
Hopefully collapsing the waveform.
Repeating: Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Catching up
[Boolbar] NOT a bird.
[DrQxm] Colour is not important.
[Tuj] One of the words on the card does.
A mushroom or fungus?
Macroscopic?
[Bism] NO, not fungus. [DrQx] errrmmm... This cannot be seen by the unaided eye.
botulism?
Applause from the audience
[Software] NO.
A bacterium?
A virus?
[Bismarck] Yes! Audience start clapping.
[Raak] NO.
Yeast?
Salmonella?
Clostridium botulinum?
Would Porton Down take any interest in it?
Wee beasties
[Raak] NO, that's a fungus.
[Software] NO, this won't poison you.
[Rosie] NO.
[drquuxum] NO, though for all I know they might take a passing interest.
Amoeba?
Does it have a flagellum?
[Raak] NO, amoebae are eukaryotic.
[drquuxum] NO flagella.
E. coli?
Streptococcus thermophilus?
Back-to-bacteria
[Raak] Audience starts clapping, but it's NO.
[Software] Audience now cheering! Still NO.
Staph?
Lactobacillus delbrueckii subsp. bulgaricus?
?
[Raak] N.
[Software] NO. You were hot, but you're cooling.
Reminder: One of the words begins with Tuj P.
Pneumococcus?
Oohs from the audience
[drquuxum] NO, we're going around the answer without quite getting there.
Streptococcus pneumoniae?
© Lurkers Я Us
Top of the class
CdM has it! Streptococcus pneumoniae it is. Take this very small baton along with the Mrs Joyful prize for raffia work and look smug over there while the audience applauds.
Uh-oh
Well, that technically wasn't quite a lurker's victory, because I did ask one previous question. But I have been basically absent here for a long time and have almost forgotten how to play this game. Let's go for an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL AND MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Medusa?
Stony silence from the audience
Medusa? No.
On reflection it might be more accurate to call this: ABSTRACT and partly MINERAL (with ANIMAL connections).
Is it art?
The audience doesn’t know, but they do know what they like
Art? No.
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
Is it a representation, in a mineral substance, of an animal?
The green eye of the little yellow god?
Well-known phrase or saying? The words on the card make up a 12-word phrase (including the definite article) that is certainly not a well-known phrase or saying. However, I will also accept other shorter and more familiar phrases (the most common of which is five words long, including the definite article). That said, the point of the answer is not that it is a well-known phrase, if you see what I mean.
Mineral representation of an animal? *smattering of applause* The mineral piece does include a representation of an animal.
Green eye of yellow god? No.
Is this a part of Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No. *a slight smile appears briefly on the face of a particularly well informed audience member*
Does it exist on this earth?
Is it a representative symbol or logo?
Earthly? Yes.
Swoosh? No.
Is it part of some other body of legend?
Legendary? No. (You should ignore the smiling audience member; I guarantee it won't help.)
Is this found in the works of Shakespeare?
Shakespearean? No.
Is it representative of a person?
Representative of a person? *some audience applause*     Taking this first as a narrow question, following on Raak's question before last, I would now amend my answer to say: Yes, The mineral piece does include a representation of an person. Thinking about the AOTC more generally, it depends a bit on how you interpret the word "representative", but the best answer is No.
The demolishing of the statues of Civil War generals in the South of the United States?
A few o many words...
But is it art?
Would the AOTC have been known in the year 1950?
Confederasing? No.
Art? No. *some laughter from the more cynical members of the audience*
Known in 1950? No. *while this answer is indubitably correct, it nonetheless prompts some discussion in the audience*
Something to do with winning an award or a competition?
To do with winning award or competition? Yes. *sustained applause*
An Oscar?
Connected to a sporting event?
Oscar? No.
Sporting? No.
A trophy or medal of some sort?
Does this refer to them what has won a game on this here page?
Trophy or Medal? *applause* The mineral part of the answer is a medal.
Local game winner? *laughter* The AOTC is not a winner of an MC game. And I am highly confident that no game-winner here has one of the aforementioned medals.
Is this medal awarded for scientific achievement?
Is this medal awarded for bravery?
Is a new medal created for each recipient?
As opposed to passing it around.
Scientific achievement? Yes. *some laughter from exactly the same cynics who we’re laughing previously*
Bravery? No.
New medal for each recipient? Yes. *applause for the question*
The Swedish National Bank's Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel?
Also known as "The Nobel Prize in Economics".
Well, technically, my card says "Sverige Riksbank", which is why it has 12 words as advertised, not 13. But, YES, Raak now has a gold baton with his name inscribed on the edge.
Your Royal Highness, members of the Nobel committee, jealous also-rans, ladies and gentlemen. To begin a brief informal sketch of the work that led to this award, consider the topos of Liesenring-Schmethold operators over a symplectic manifold equipped with the Swale cohomology on its cotangent bundle...(contd. p.94)

The next is MINERAL.

Stone?
By volume, almost entirely stone.
Sculpted into the likeness of something, like me for instance?
Not a likeness.
Is it a mountain?
Not a mountain.
The pyramids?
A heavenly body?
[S] Not the pyramids.
[B] Not a heavenly body.
Inscribed in any way?
Is it unique?
Well solved, btw!
Does it possess Buddha-nature?
Is it a geological formation?
[R] Not inscribed.
[T] Unique.
[S] Mu.
[d] *applause* A geological formation.
Is it entirely within one country?
Is it a desert?
[B] Not within one country.
[d] Not a desert.
Was it formed within the last fifteen million years?
[S] Not formed within the last fifteen million years.
Is water or ice involved?
The African Rift Valley?
Long shot. I'm not sure how old that is.
[d] No water or ice involved, except incidentally.
[R] Not the African Rift Valley.
Is it primarily underground?
[d] I think you could say that any geological formation is primarily underground, even Mount Everest. If the question is whether it is entirely underground, the answer is no.
A specific archipelago?
[D] Not an archipelago.
Mountains?
[B] (Confers with Mycroft) Mountains would be part of it.
Big? (More than 1000 miles in any direction except up)
[R] (polite applause) Big.
A continent?
[C] (more applause) A continent.
Does this continent exist today?
[S] (even more applause) This continent does not exist today.
Rodinya?
[B] Not Rodinya.
Gondwanaland?
[R] Not Gondwanaland.
Pangaea?
Laurasia?
[S] Not Laurasia, but...
[B] Pangaea it is.
Moving quickly on a geological timescale, pausing only to thank the tectonic forces that fashioned this earth with the odd helping hand from extraterrestrial meteorites, read this carefully-arranged eruption which spells

ABSTRACT
(as well as trouble for a few geological theories when it's discovered).

Is it a thing known to exist on the planet Earth?
The theory expounded by the Flat Earth Society?
Themyscira?
Counter-Earth?
Hell?
Hadean epoch
Welcome, welcome to one and all.
[DrQ] It's abstract. Really quite abstract. So yes, if only in our minds.
[Duj] Not the flat-earthers.
[Boo] No Amazons here (with Black Friday coming, that may be a relief)
[Raak] Not our twin from the dark side.
[Gus] Topical in this epoch, but not relevant.
Is it a human feeling?
[Rosie] No, it isn't.
Is it something found in a work of fiction?
Archean eon approaching
[DrQ] It is often used as a word and a concept in many forms of writing.
Let me add that there is one word on the card.
Does it begin with M?
Does it end with M?
Utopia?
Is there an M in the AOTC anywhere?
Mesoarchaean
[Tuj], [Boolbar], [Gusset Login], there is no M.
[Raak]Utopia is nowhere to be seen.
Is it an emotion?
Is it something mythical?
Proterozoic
[Tuj] This cannot be felt.
[Raak] Your myth does not hit.
Is it something that you might find on this website?
[drquuxum] Most definitely.
Time?
Life appears with enough appendages to applaud
(Sup) NO, but the audience wakes up and claps. A bit.
Language?
Does the word on the card have more than six letters?
Wit?
[Boolbar] Not language.
[Superman] No.
[Rosie] Not wit.
Scattered applause here and there for all that.
Is it typographical in nature?
The Ding an sich?
Phanerozoic here, how are you?
Lots of good stuff coming now. Both on the right evolutionary branch.
[DrQuuxum] If you mean ems, ens and that sort of thing, no.
[Raak] No, though in a sense, as you taught us to say, isn't everything?
Is it a figure of speech?
[Tuj] I don't think you could call it that.
A guess?
Cambrian era, when all was Welsh
[Boolbar] Not a guess.
Is the word a noun?
Dinosauria?
[Superman] oh boy, the difficult one... No, but there is a phrase in which this gets nouned.
Is it the title of a film?
Any ideas for a plan of attack anybody?
Time for Snowball Earth
[Tuj] Not a film title. Doesn't begin with P either, but it does begin with a letter that is a rotation or reflection of P.
Beauty?
Tectonically...
[Bool] That's pretty good guess, in a way, but... No.
Could you say it was discovered?
Discovey of time
[Tuj] No. But someone did, I suppose. Probably Eve when you look back at it.
Evil?
[Raak] No, not the good answer.
Related to the Grim Reaper?
Is it a verb?
[Lurk] No, don't think so.
[Soup] no, but as in your previous question, there is a famous phrase where it is treated as a verb.
Does it begin with B?
[Boolbar] Yes!
I have not played this game before . . .
Is it Bang the Drum Slowly?
[KaShu] No but it doesn't half feel like it.
Banter?
Doesn't time fly
[Boolbar] No, still simpler, still more abstract.
Black?
Be?
[CdM] Not a colour.
[Boolbar] That's getting close in abstraction to the answer. Not a verb
Being?
[Raak] Unbearable lightness? No.
Begin?
Borrowing Raak's letters.
[Boolbar] No, but I regret it.
Does the answer on the card have exactly 1 letter "e" in it?
Random guessing now.
Anything to do with mathematics?
Anyone else have any ideas?
A move!
[Boolbar] No "e" whatever, nothing to do with maths.
Look, it begins with "b", it's short (hint: 3 letters), it's not a verb, a noun (notwithstanding a famous phrase in which it gets used as both a noun and a verb),or adjective and I'm regretting having used it. Not enough to give the answer?
But?
The winner
[Raak] finishes the game in style. That'll teach me to take something small and easy.
But...ah. The next is MINERAL.
Is this an astronomical body?
Not an astronomical body.
Unique?
Not unique.
Is it natural?
Not natural.
Predominantly made of metal?
IS it the Angel of the North?
[Tuj] Not predominantly metal.
[Bismarck] Not the AotN.
Are they still being made today?
Still made today.
Made largely of plastic?
Not largely plastic.
Larger than a toaster?
Can be larger than a toaster.
Is it made of brick?
Not made of brick.
Does it have moving parts?
No moving parts.
A piece of furniture?
Not furniture.
An ornament?
Stone?
[B] Can be an ornament.
[S] Not stone.
Made mostly of wood?
Smaller members of the audience fidget and ask, "Are we nearly there yet?" "Soon," say their parents unconvincingly.
Not at all made of wood.
Actually...
On further study, this IS made mostly of metal.
Does it begin with P?
Where these being made before the year 1900?
[T] Does not begin with P.
[B] (a ripple of applause) Were being made before 1900.
Used in the kitchen?
Not used in the kitchen.
Does it have glass in it?
Strictly speaking, the thing itself does not have glass in it.
Is it used to measure something?
Not used to measure anything.
A lamppost?
Not a lamppost.
Summary: mainly metal (but note the "strictly speaking" concerning the glass question), made now and before 1900 (perhaps predominantly the latter, judging by the audience reaction), can be larger than a toaster, not unique, not naturally occurring, no moving parts, not furniture, not a measuring device, not a kitchen item, not a lamppost.
Yeah, well, that pretty much sums it up, innit, Raak?
- A mirror?
Not a mirror.
Connected with illumination?
One could say that it is indirectly connected with illumination.
A window?
Not a window. More indirect than that.
Electrical?
Not electrical.
An oil lamp?
Not an oil lamp.
Usually used or found outdoors?
Not usually used or found outdoors.
Connected with a fireplace?
Nothing to do with a fireplace.
Something to do with beverages?
Nothing to do with beverages.

Hint: the connection with light might be the most promising approach.

Candles?
Does the light connection involve natural light?
[B] Not candles.
[R] Can involve natural light.
Is it connected with photography?
(The audience erupts at this sudden relief from their ordeal.)
It is connected with photography.
Some sort of reflector?
Not a reflector.
Camera lens?
Not a lens.
Photo paper?
(a ripple of applause) Not photo paper. (Made of metal, remember.)
A camera tripod?
(the audience sit with firmly folded arms.) Not a tripod.
A photo plate?
(applause) Yes, a type of photographic plate.
The audience fumes impatiently while the hare decides to take a nap just short of the finishing line.
A lantern slide?
Not a lantern slide.
A speculum?
Copper plate?
[B] Not a speculum.
[R] Yes, it is a copper plate.
A Daguerrotype?
YES, a daguerrotype. Have this framed daguerrotype of the baton used by the conductor at the opening ceremony of the Great Exhibition of 1851.
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas daguerre. Oh yes it is.

Right then, the next one is

MINERAL with an ABSTRACT feel

A sculpture?
(Raak) Nice try but not a sculpture.
is it fictional?
(Superman) Fictional? NO, it's real.
Is it on planet Earth?
(Boolbar) On the earth? NO. *some audience titters*
Can it be seen from Earth?
Is it within planet Earth?
The centre of the Earth?
(Bismarck) Visible from earth? NO. *audience visibly animated*
(Boolbar) NOT within planet earth.
(Raak) NOT the centre of the earth.
The centre of the universe?
(Superman) Centre of the universe? Who knows where that is? It's not the AOTC.
Is it in our solar system?
(Tuj) YES, it's in the Solar System.
A dwarf planet?
Pertaining to the Moon?
(Boolbar) NOT a dwarf planet.
(Dujon) Pertaining to the moon? YES. *audience frenzy*
Tranquillity Base?
(Bismarck) Tranquility Base? NO.
Sounds like a mood-altering alkaloid.
Is it man-made?
(Superman) Man-made? NO.
The dark side of the moon?
(CdM) The dark side of the moon? CLOSE but no cigar. *Confused reaction from audience. Some fighting.*
Eclipse?
(Bismarck) Eclipse? NO.
A specific feature on the far side of the moon?
(CdM) NO, not a specific feature.
The moon itself?
(Superman) The moon itself? NO.
A crater?
(Boolbar) NO, not a crater.
A sea?
(Superman) NOT a sea. I have a feeling the questioners have run past the target.
The Moon-Earth Trojan points?
(Raak) Well, grab me by the Lagranges. Nothing so technical.
The near side of the moon?
(Raak) Near side of the moon? NO. *audience jumps up and down in frustration*
The centre of the moon?
*roll of drums* The Crescent moon?
The roughly 41% of the moon's surface not visible from Earth?
YES! The synchronously rotating BOOLBAR has it. It's The far side of the moon. OK, your go.
Oo! Let's end that phase and begin another. Something hopefully quick as I will be busy soon.

ABSTRACT ANIMAL

I'm not really sure how to play this
Is this a mythical creature?
How to Play
[KagomeShuko] Welcome. Others who've played more will correct me if I get this wrong I'm sure, but I think it's pretty straightforward - ask a question to narrow down the possibilities (just as you have!), then await the answer from Boolbar - later on make specific guesses, once you've an idea. Scroll back to earlier rounds for the flavour of it...
Q: Is it a heraldic animal?
Off to a flying start.
[KagomeShuko] Questions should be those which can be answered with a simple "Yes" or "No". Speaking of which...
(KagomeShuko) Mythical?  YES. But that wouldn't be the first thing you'd think of when the answer on the card is revealed. So I predict a lot of questions which are going to go down the wrong path.
(blamelewis) Heraldic?  NO.
A metaphorical animal?
I think it is better to say
Mythical creature? NO as the AOTC is not a creature of ancient myths itself, but belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth.
(Raak) A metaphorical animal? NO.
The komodo dragon?
As in a not so mythical beast, though I shall attempt to emblazon one on the family crest.
Dragging on.
(Bismarck) Komodo NO.
The Beast from the East?
Originating from a specific work of fiction?
Still skirting around the edges.
(Rosie) Cold weather? NO.
(Tuj) Originating from a specific work of fiction? YES.
Begins with P?
The Hydra?
Was the fiction concerned written in the last twenty years?
[Tuj] P? - pNO.
(Rosie) Hydra? NO.
(Superman) Last 20 years? The original origin, NO.
Are we looking for a family or genus of animals
(Superman) Family or genus? NO
Is it Frankenstein's Monster?
Wild guess :)
(blamelewis) Frankenstein's Monster? NO. But I believe we are starting to head a teeny tad in the right direction.
Double Identity?
Does this monster exist within the same body as a "Dr."?
(KagomeShuko) Monster/Dr.? NO (for both) but some of the audience got exited at the mention of double identity...
Is the source of the myth Scandinavian?
It's a mythtery.
(Superman) From Scandinavian myth? NO
Are we in the world of Tolkien?
(Knobbly) Tolkien related? NO
Is the original origin piece of fiction something that was originally published in English?
(blamelewis) Origin fiction in English? YES
Belonging to a class of mythical creatures, the specific animal was originally from an English piece of fiction from over twenty years ago (but possibly re-used since). Not a heraldic animal, nor a monster, not from Tolkien, not Scandinavian.
Is the animal a canine?
Was a song written about it?
Who let the dogs out?
Note : English language but not necessarily English. And as I put it "belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth" but that won't help much.
(Bismarck) Doggy? NO
(Bismarck) A song? YES (more of a by-product) and at least one other obscure and dreadful song that I know of.
Is the animal bit human?
Reckon the animal bit us the wrong track. There's bet free that aren't heraldic, or monstrous.
Auto-correct strikes again!
(Bismarck) Human? YES (in the broad sense of being human).
Audience give a hearty cheer.
Is it from Chaucer?
Or originally in American English?
Flying Chaucers
(blamelewis) Chaucer? NO   American English? YES
Is it a ghostly apparition in human form?
(blamelewis) Ghostly? Woo! NO
A figure in American folk tales, like John Bunyan?
(Bismarck) Folky? NO
Just to confuse: I've found that the AOTC was a ghost on one occasion but I doubt that will help anyone here.
Was the original American English story written in the 20th century?
[Superman] 20th Century? YES!
Transformation?
Is this a human that turns into another creature?
Is science fiction involved?
*Some of the audience hums at the mention of transformation*
(KagomeShuko) Human that turns into another creature? NO but within their history, the AOTC has had a few methods of "changing" :)
(Bismarck) Science fiction? Hmm, there are many Sci-fi elements that come into this, so it is involved, yes.
I thought this could be simple but I forgot the AOTC has had so much variation over the years.
Little green men?
(Superman) Little green men? I like your thinking, but NO. (The AOTC has met little green men though).
A superhero?
What is AOTC? And hatching?
Is transforming not necessarily transforming, but like hatching from an egg?
(KagomeShuko) AOTC = "Answer on the Card" or in other words : the answer you are looking for. As for the tiny hint about transforming: it is an everyday transformation that we are all capable of doing. The AOTC has a few nifty ways of doing it.
(Raak) Superhero? YES. *cue audience going wild with excitement*
Superman?
(If it's not that, I *bet* it's either a bird or a plane!)
(Superman) Superman? (NO) NO.
(blamelewis) No birds or planes, at least not that I can see. *some audience tittering*
The Incredible Hulk?
Having a smashing time
(Bismarck) Hulk? Incredibly NO.
Is the superhero concerned a baddie?
(Superman) Baddie? NO
A Marvel character?
A marvellous guess, but...
(Bismarck) Marvel? NO
This is bothering me. Everything I can think of that involves superhero persons changing doesn't involve little green men, and everything I can think of involving little green men doesn't involve changing. I'm stuck.
Can this superhero move incredibly fast?
Sorry... been busy
(Raak) Fast? YES. "Incredibly fast"? Possibly. The AOTC can move faster than us, some versions extremely fast. Not usually as fast as the previously mentioned Superman though.
(Bismarck) See note I made just above about changing to KagomeShuko. And "little green men" was only one or two story lines of many. Neither are particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Non-Marvel superhero : that does narrow things down a tad. :)
Anything to do with Star Trek?
Beam me up...
(Superman) Anything to do with Star Trek? NO. (Aside from any actors who have appeared in roles connected with both Star Trek and the AOTC. Oh, and the occasional transporter use.)
(sound of possible penny)
Is the hero occasionally invisible?
penny spins around...
(blamelewis) Invisible at times? *Some muttering in the audience* Well, the AOTC can't become invisible themselves but can use something they own to make themselves invisible (even though within comics and other media they are usually still visible, otherwise you'd be looking at scenery for a few frames!)
Caped crusaders - as a general class?
Supergirl?
(Superman) Caped crusader? Given that the AOTC comes from the same era as most of the famous caped crusaders and has often appeared alongside other caped crusaders then I guess they would belong to that class. However the AOTC does not usually wear a cape (except for ceremonial or official duties).
(Chalky) Nice to see you. And Supergirl? NO *Audience applauds guess though*
Catwoman?
Something from Thunderbirds?
(Raak)  Catwoman?  NO, but I have a comic with Catwoman fighting the AOTC on the cover...
(Bismarck)  Thunderbirds are NO.
Batgirl?
I think the "invisible thing" gave me the answer . . .
Is the AOTC Wonder Woman?
Merciful Minerva!
(Chalky) Batgirl? NO
(KagomeShuko) Wonder Woman? Great Hera! That is the right answer!

Let me pass you this invisible baton... which I'm sure I left around here somewhere.

I THINK I've got this, maybe? Sorry if I don't quite get it yet . . .
OCCUPATION ANIMAL
Is the animal a canine?
Some of the audience gets a little too excited at the mention of a number
A canine? Not even close.
Human?
Is it unique?
Human
The audience laughs, but also hums at human The animals itself isn't a human, but a human can certainly have that occupation.
Unique
There are certainly more than one person that holds the occupation and there are certainly more than one animal of this kind.
A donkey?
(KS) You are giving a little too much away. Your replies can be one-word if you want.
Hmm, I'd have to say that guess is a bit "Ass"inine.
Definitely not a donkey.
Would the word used for this animal also be used to describe an illicit carrier?
illicit
I've not heard of either word being one for an illicit carrier.
Does this animal provide any useful material?
This animal doesn't provide us with any useful materials.
A lion tamer?
Is the animal a bird?
Are we trying to guess a griffin here?
There' no lion about this - no lions and no birds.
Is it unicellular?
O HAI ERRYONE
Does it have a little light? :-)
Cells and lights . . .
While prison cells need more lights, this animal definitely has more than one cell (and nothing "uni" that I know) and definitely doesn't not have a light.
Is the animal a fish?
Here fishy, fishy
No fish jump into your boat. No fish here . . .
Is the animal a mammal?
Many members of the audience start questioning . . .
The animal itself isn't a mammal, but the descriptor of the animal in the front is . . .
Is this a mythological being or beings?
Nothing is mything. This animals is completely realistic.
Does politics come into this?
No politics at play - or work - or rest.
A hybrid creature?
Vroom Vroom
Hybrid? I thought those were cars . . .
Nope, not a hybrid creature
Does theatre come into it?
Four-legged?
Theatre? There's nothing theatre specific, though the creature might come into the theatre and the human descriptor might be in the theatre, too.
Audience oohs and ahs . . .
Four legs? Definitely not a four-legged creature.
An insect?
Is the human reference the word "man" or "woman"?
The audience leans towards Boolbar in anticipation
Yes, indeed, the animal is an insect!
The descriptor that is human could be either a man or a woman, but it doesn't contain either word.
Butterfly catcher?
Is this a flying beastie?
The audience makes uncertain noises
This animal definitely does not catch butterflies (nor is it a butterfly). It can fly, but it usually isn't common to see them flying - nor is it usually a good sign, but that always depends on where they are flying and why . . .
Some sort of beetle?
Nope, not a beetle.
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home...?
Or stay put . . .
Not a ladybird or a ladybug. The human descriptor could refer to either gender and thing in total is two words, not one word.
Some type of ant?
Queen bee?
The audience gasps in anticpation
Not a bee, but definitely some type of ant! Getting warmer!!
The carpenter ant?
Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner, winner, Have a berliner!
Yes, indeed Bismarck, it is the Carpenter Ant!!!!
Well that was a surprise. Nice subject, thanks Mr Shuko. Here we go with a

MINERAL

objectithing for your ongoing delight.

Is it found on planet Earth?
Metalic?
Manufactured?
A spaceship built of stone?
[Boolbar] Earthly? YES.
[Software] Metallic? NO, not essentially.
[Rosie] Artificial? NO.
[Raak] NO. But a very good guess.
A meteorite?
?Oumuamua?
That should have been 'Oumuamua.
Is it in Australia?
Is it unique?
This might be over quite quickly...
[Rosie] NO, not a celestial object
[Raak] NO, see above
[Superman] YES, it's down under
[Tuj] YES, there can be only one.
Uluru?
Well blow down my didgeridoo
Yup, that was easy enough. Ayers Rock did finish a little-known Australian SF story called The Mountain Movers by being revealed as a stone space ship. Nevertheless Rosie gets there first and will take this boomerang-shaped baton for the next round. Well done!
Here we are at last
Talking of boomerangs, I made one in 1974 from instructions in the New Scientist, which explained the aerodynamics. I've still got it; it's probably under a pile of junk in the garage somewhere. It really works but you need an area the size of a football pitch and preferably no wind. Boomerangs are chiral, i.e. -handed and mine, to suit, is a southpaw. Having said all that, it's now deduction time.

The next object, which has but the most tenuous link with steam engines, is:

VEGETABLE and MINERAL

Who knows she (Yes, Bismarck, KagomeShuko is female) is not making any sense, but wanted to be silly
Is it a potato iron?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
A lemon battery?
A fossilized tree?
The Golden Arrow?
(KagomeSuko) Ace silliness, but wide of the mark by some distance.
(Raak) Well-known dehydrating agent? NO.
(Boolbar) Lemon battery? NO. Nor a Van de Grapefruit machine.
(Superman) NOT a fossilised tree.
(Softers) The flesh door? NO, not even when steam-hauled, alas.
Any wood (or trees) in this?
(Boolbar) There ought not to be. Basically, NO.
A bowl of vegetable soup?
Restaurant Car?
(Bismarck) Well, that's scrumptious thought but it ain't the answer.
(Softers) Not a restaurant car. You wouldn't get this in a decent restaurant car.
Coffee in a paper cup?
s/paper/plastic/
Is the mineral metal?
(Raak) Coffee in a paper cup. NO. *audience perks up*
(Superman) Mineral metal? NO. *some tittering among audience*
A carbonated beverage?
A beverage and its receptacle?
Mineral = stone?
(Boolbar) Carbonated beverage? Burp! NO.
(Raak) Beverage + receptacle? NO.
(Softers) Mineral not stone.
Is the mineral part glass?
(Bismarck) Glass? NO. *horrified laughs from the audience*
Is the vegetable human-edible?
Be it liquid at room temperature?
Lovely boomerang anecdote, Rosie :)
Massage oil?
Any chocolate in this?
(Superman) Veg part human edible? YES.*audience applause*
(Tuj) Liquid at room temperature? NO, but *some uncertain and quickly stifled audience reaction*
(Raak) NOT massage oil.
(Boolbar) Alas NO choccy.
(Tuj) I dug out the boomerang - it still exists. Tomorrow I'll see if I can still chuck it - theres a playing field at the back.
Is this anything to do with cookery?
[Rosie] Good luck with the boomerang. I got one as a lad and after reading the instructions and having a long debate about whether '5-15 degrees inclination' was from the vertical or the horizontal, I chucked it into a tree thirty yards away in a dead straight line.
(Bismarck) Cookery? Well, strictly YES, but I wouldn't quite dignifiy it with that term.

(boo meringues) I'm not sure the throwing angle is all that important but you must hold the asymmetric end and impart as much spin as possible. Mine is quite big (14" arms, 2" wide, marine ply) and I wouldn't like to be hit by it.

Is the mineral part edible?
(Bismarck) Mineral part edible? NO, though it probably wouldn't do you much harm.
Some sort of preserve?
[boomer angles] Many happy returns!
(Boolbar) NO, not a preserve.
Hidden textNot even a preserved steam engine
Is this something normally stored in a freezer
?
Clumsy fingers hitting first the enter key by mistake and then managing to bypass the "whoops" button.
Is the mineral part a wrapping?
I'm thinking British Rail sandwich...
(Boolbar) Store in a freezer? NO.
(simons Mith) Mineral part wrapping? Essesntially, YES, though this is not normally referred to as wrapping. But it's not a British Rail sandwich. *audience now showing considerable signs of animation*
q
oops
Is the mineral water?
(Raak) Is the mineral water what? Oh, I see. The mineral is NOT water.
A plastic-wrapped lettuce?
And the subsidiary question - is the mineral plastic?
Is the mineral part sand or soil?
(Superman) Plastic wrapped lettuce? NO. Subsidiaritily, NOT plastic.
(Boolbar) Mineral part NOT sand or soil.
Does the mineral part contain the vegetable part?
Could you swallow one whole?
Yes, I'm more baiting the audience than being useful, but at least I'm not asking about what letter it starts with.
(Raak) In one sense of the word "contain", YES.
(Tuj) You probably could but it would defeat the purpose of the AOTC and people would start worrying about you.
Is the AOTC usually spherical in shape?
(Boolbar) The AOTC is NEVER spherical.
Is the mneral part gold leaf?
(Raak) Mineral part gold leaf? NO, nothing so fancy.
Does it contain chocolate?
Is it something decorative?
(Raak) Contain chocolate? NO. *audience somewhat amused*
(Boolbar) Decorative? NO, very functional.
Is the mineral part made of crystals?
Is the mineral part an eggshell?
Is the mineral part clay?
(Boolbar) Mineral part made of crystals? NO.
(Raak) Mineral part an eggshell? NO.
(Superman) Clay? NOT made of clay.
Recap v1
I'm running out of ideas for minerals here. It's a sort of container but it's not made of any metal, plant material like paper of course, clay, crystal, soil, sand, stone, plastic, eggshell, or glass. What's left? The veggie bit is edible, but not chocolate or lettuce. The whole thing is functional and not spherical and has a link to cookery. It's not too big as you could swallow it whole.
Some sort of medication?
Is hot or boiling water used with the AOTC to make something else?
(Raak) NOT The Tablets.
(Boolbar) Hot water? YES. *audience goes wild*
Tea?
(Raak) Tea? YES, but not quite the AOTC. *audience goes even wilder*
Green Tea?
Is the mineral aluminium foil?
(Softers) NOT green tea.
(Raak) Mineral NOT aluminium (foil or any other form).
A tea caddy?
(Superman) A tea caddy? NO.
Is the mineral mixed with the tea?
(Raak) Mineral mixed with the tea? NO.
If you dropped one of these on a hard floor would it break?
(Raak) It would NOT break. *a few cruel audience sniggers*
Is the mineral rubber (synthetic, presumably)?
Is the mineral some sort of perforated container?
(Raak) NO, not rubber, synthetic or otherwise.
(Boolbar) Perforated container? YES. *audience goes completely potty*
A nylon teabag?
(Raak) Near enough. The AOTC is actually one of those accoutrements of haute cuisine, the teabag. I declare RAAK the winner and hand him the boiling kettle.
The next is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, and ABSTRACT.
Is it everything?
[Boolbar] Not everything.
Animal = human?
Obviously not JRM or BoJo etc
[Software] Partly human.
The statue (Mineral) in my local park of someone riding a large cow and surrounded by other people (Animal) and carrying a cornucopia whence fall fruits of all kinds (Vegetable), which is entitled "Plenty" (Abstract)
[Bismarck] Not a statue.
Is it fictional?
[Boolbar] Can be fictional.
Are horses involved?
[Rosie] No horses (except perhaps abstractly).
Is it proverbial?
Is transport involved?
Not necessarily a steam train, of course.
[B] Not proverbial.
[R] In a sense, everything could be involved with this, but in the sense you're thinking, there is no transport involved.
A product of the brain?
[Dujon] Yes! A product of the brain.
An allegory? (AL / Leg / Egg / allegory)
[Superman] Not an allegory.
A dream?
[Rosie] Not a dream.
Perhaps I should note that the MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL aspects of this are not at all abstract. So not a dream, an allegory, a figure of speech, an idea, a philosophy, or a dread foreboding of doom.
Is the Mineral/Vegetable/Animal part a particular area and its contents?
[Boolbar] If I understand you, yes, this thing is made of its Mineral/Vegetable/Animal parts.
Does geography come into it?
[Bismarck] Geography does not specifically come into it.
Is it the Crown?
[SM] Not the Crown.
Does it cost a lot?
[Superman] Yes, one of these does cost a lot. (This is not a unique object.)
A mind map?
An image of The Buddha?
Long shot.
[S] Not a mind map.
[R] Not an image of the Buddha.
A private island?
[Superman] Not a private island.
An island?
[Boolbar] Not an island of any sort. Not a geographical feature, in fact.
Do these objects have strong links to reproduction?
[Dujon] No link to reproduction.
Any connection to research?
Do you own one?
[Rosie] applause! YES, there is a connection to research.
[Tuj] Yes, I think I could reasonably claim to have one.
A library?
[Rosie] Yes, a library. Have this scroll containing the rules to Mornington Crescent, rescued from the Library of Alexandria.
I say! Bravo, R & R
(Raak) A valuable historic document. Trouble is I can't lift it.

Forever onwards with ABSTRACT with strong ANIMAL connections

.
Is it an ostrich that has yet to be spotted?
Is it wild?
(Boolbar) The elusive ostrich? Unsurprisingly, NO.
Bismarck) *audience cackles* In a restricted sense, to some people, YES .
Rewilding?
Is it fictional?
(Raak) Rewilding? NO.
(Tuj) Fictional? This question is intrinsically unanswerable with present knowledge.
Is it associated with a particular animal species?
Well! There's an intriguing response.
Is it a story of uncertain factuality?
Extraterrestrial?
(Tuj) Particular animal species? YES, but that's not actually very helpful.
(Raak) Uncertain factuality? YES. *mixed audience reaction. Some murmurs of approval; some belly laughs*
(Boolbar) Extraterrestrial? NO, very much earth-bound.
A shaggy dog story?
A stand-up comic's act?
Is it a future event?
Does death play a part in this?
(Superman) Shaggy dog story? NO.
(Raak) Stand-up? *some suppressed giggling* NO.
Tuj) A future event? NOT KNOWN. It is certainly a possibility.
(Dujon) Death? NO.
Is a specific individual involved?
(Raak) Specific individual? NO.
Is sex involved?
(Superman) Sex? The mind boggles. NO, none whatever.
The afterlife?
(Raak) NO, not the afterlife. *cynical giggles from some of the audience*
A prophesy?
The horsemen of the Apocalypse?
(Raak) Some prophecies have been made in relation to this but essentially NO.
(Bismarck) NO, no gee-gees.
Is it related to politics?
(Tuj) Related to politics? YES. *prolonged audience applause*
Related to Brexit?
(Raak) Well, I think that's near enough. It is actually BREXIT and I hand you this toxic stick. Wear gloves.
looks for a Brexiteer's arse to bury it in

The next is MINERAL (I think, mostly) with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it found on the Earth?
It is found on the Earth.
Is it in Europe?
Is it a weapon?
[B] Some are in Europe.
[S] Hmm...not, strictly speaking, a weapon.
Is it a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not a geographical feature.
A meteorite?
[Software] Not a meteorite.
Is it a monument?
[Bismarck] Not a monument.
Human made?
[Boolbar] Yes, human made.
Did it originate in Germany?
[Superman] Not from Germany.
Is it predominantly metal?
[Tuj] Not metal.
Did any of these exist over 1000 years ago?
[Boolbar] None of them existed over 1000 years ago.
Millennium Stones?
[Software] Not Millennium Stones (whatever those are).
Is it a work of art?
[Rosie] applause! It is art.
One or more Henry Moore mobiles?
[Bismarck] Not by Henry Moore. Not a mobile.
Does it have any watery connections?
[SM] No watery connections.
Is it an island wrapped by Christoph?
[Superman] Not an island wrapped by Christoph.
Is it associated with any particular date(s)?
Is it a representation of a fictional character?
[SM] No particular date.
[B] Some examples are representations of fictional characters.
Are these all by one artist?
[Boolbar] Applause! Works of a particular artist.
The Dali museum in Barcelona?
[Bismarck] Not Dali.
Hm, are they Banksies?
[SM] A winner! Yes, A Banksy graffito is the words on the card. Excuse me while I run this baton through a woodchipper before presenting it.
Whoops, now I've gotta think of one.

Um.

OK. These are usually MINERAL.

Even worse, I gotta remember what I picked!
Garden Gnomes?
Decorative?
Stones?
No again.
Trolls?
... No.
Found on Earth?
Oh good, a YES at last. Found on Earth.
Is there just one of these?
No, many.
Are these likely to be found in Antarctica?
No, not likely. (Very minor hint in comments)
Man-made?
YES, without exception. Well, um, except for all the ones that are woman-made, or any other gender variations.
Is it likely to be found in the home of an average Morniverser, if there is such a thing?
Yep, they're present even in a Crescenter's house.
Used for preparing or eating food?
YES. [Applause]
A chopping board?
No. Besides, I wouldn't have said chopping boards were usually mineral; I'd tend to assume wooden first, mineral second.
Is it a cast iron pan?
Nuh uh.
A container?
A tool for turning pieces of food into smaller pieces of food?
A piece of cutlery?
[Raak] Not really. [Bismarck] YES. [Audience checks contract, then whoops stamps and cheers.]
A Fork?
Which way shall I go?
No, not a fork. You're so close!
A spork?
I thought that might happen :-)
No. But you're even closer than Boolbar was.
A sporknife?
No, and it's probably not spopsticks either.
Does this magnificent utensil have a brand name ending in "ayd"
[Dujon] Alas, no.
Does it rhyme with 'swoon'?
YES! [Stretchers arrive to ferry out a couple of audience members who fainted from excitement.]
Can it be preceded by the word "dessert"?
YES, it can. By Jove you're really narrowing it down now.
Can it be made from wood?
I can see a theme coming through here.. it must be a - but I'll let Raak answer that.
Wood? YES.
Has the existence of this thing been notably denied?
Can this object be bent, as if by magic?
YES. They may even have been a Japanese anime about it, although I could be wrong there.
[Raak] Utensil denial: YES.
Should one count these at the end of a dinner party, especially if a guest has talked overmuch of his honour?
Utensil census: YES.
Can two of these be used as a makeshift percussion instrument?
Utensil chorus: YES.
A fpoon?
CdM if the winner!
Utenfil claffification: YEF!
I waf ftarting to get worried you wouldn't get it.

Thankf to the great generofity of Raak I have hundredf of tiny (but rather fplintery) batonf to paff over. Here, have thif one.

Fo clofe yet fo far ;^)
Ahem *taps micro* Chalky? You there?
Well I have plenty more tiny batons if anyone else wants one...
[CdM] Is it the concept of suspense?
How about a Collective Consciousness round?
I shall channel my inner CdM and answer, NO.

Is it edible?

I can feel in my water...
that the answer is YES.

Is it an animal?

By the pricking of my thumbs...
that too is a YES

Does it begin with a P?
Consulting the seaweed...
Alas, that is a NO

Does it live in water?

The flight of the birds says...
that is also a NO

Is it a ...bird?

Tossing the I Ching sticks...
gives the answer YES.

Is it a duck?

NO, I don't think it's a duck.
Carry on, please
Yikes! Sorry! Forgot all about having made that guess.
Is it a well-known pie filling?
According to my latest tarot reading ..
It might be
Ha! I've got it - it's an ostrich, and it's over there!
*Escaping from pie factory*
Bugger! *hides in London underground network*
'S a tunnel. Scoddaby
Rural Lincolnshire invoked.
What, an edible tunnel? Lincs people are weird.
Well, that's golf for you. Is it......a NIBLICK?
Enough of ostriches
The next challenge is Animal

Is it human?
I was beginning to think that everyone had gone on strike.
No, Tuj, nor does it start with a 'P'.
Is it a mammal?
Is it an individual?
Does it... oh! Um... Is it alive?
(Boolbar) NO, Sir, although it might be described as such.
(Raak) NO
(Tuj)YES
Is it native to Australia?
Surprise! The audience gasps for air.
(Rosie) YES
Be it a monotreme?
Single stringed tremes
(Tuj) NO.Be it a treme or not, it don't lay no eggs, Sarr.
Was it once a treme but now a sadly burnt out ex-treme?
A marsupial?
Burnt alive?
(Rosie) NO. Is not New Orleans still jiving?
Pickpockets?
(Raak) YES.*The audience comes again alive*
A wallaby?
Gotta be. :-)
Hopping around the AOTC?
(Rosie) NO. *The audience sighs and goes back to sleep*
A collective noun of wombats?
Mythical?
Wombaticate dreaming?
(Bismarck) NO.
(Raak) NO, not at all - see the earlier answer to Tuj
In Australia?
*sighing*
(Software) I refer you to Rosie's first post in this game.
A quoll?
Quoll or quill the pen is mightier...
(Bismarck) NO.
Tasmanian Devil?
(Bismark) Sorry, been away
That Van Dieman fella?
Sorry, Softers, the answer is NO. In fact there are none of these animals on that wonderful island.
A mob of kangaroos?
Is it singular?
Individual
Individuals and 'roos
(Bismarck) Hardly (i.e. NO)
(Kago) Certainly not (i.e. also NO)
Koala?
Piss Pots?
(Software) YESSSS!
I pass to you a rough but furry baton. Be aware though that it has the propensity to leak.
Gosh! Is it me? I have been dozing.
Hmmm. Let me see: Ah, yes. Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connexions.
A human activity?
A piece of art?
An academic study of some kind?
42?
An alarm clock?
You deserved that, Software. :)
[Rosie]Something to do? Yes
[Bismark]Arty farty? No
[SM]Lurning? No
[Raak]Hitching? No
[Dujon]Wake up call? No
Physical law?
Anything to do with politics?
Related to agriculture?
[Raak] Physics? No
[Rosie] General incompetence? Up to a point, yes
[Dujon] Farmer Giles? No
Using a machine?
A law?
To do with Brexit?
[Superman] Mechanics? No.
[Bismarck] Legal? No (a smattering of weak claps in audience)
[Raak] The 'B' word? How dare you? No
A proverb?
[Raak] Proverbial? No
Bureaucracy?
Something to do with the armed forces?
[SM] Officialdom? - Yes (some of the audience clap)
[Dujon] Military? No
Hm, a little bit political and a little bit bureaucratic. But not military or educational. Religious?
An organization?
[SM] Faith? No (someone in the audience claps)
[Raak] Organization? No
The House of Commons?
[Bismarck] The madhouse? - Definitely No.
Red tape?
Health and Safety bollocks I mean culture?
I am on holiday for a couple of weeks so responses may be intermittent
[Duj] Officialdom? - No a smattering of weak claps from the audience)
[Rosie] More than my job's worth? - No
To do with a shared interest or activity?
I'm back!
[Raak]Common interest? YES some claps from audience
Are maps involved?
The Morniverse?
Sporting?
[Boolbar] Cartography? NO
[Raak] Here? NO but of course it does overlap with the AOTC
[Bismarck] Sporting? YES - in certain circumstances a few claps from the audience
Games of the board, card, and screen kind?
A trivia game?
A game of any other sort?
[All above] Nothing to do with games per se. A few claps from the audience
Distraction desperately engaged in to avoid despair at the sins of the world?
There might be a word for this, but I can't think what it is.
Commuting?
A shared human activity of a bureaucratic nature, possibly related to politics, which may involve sport or the Morniverse in some way.
[Raak] Hermit like? NO
[Superman] Daily grind? NO Hint: maybe the exact opposite - a couple of random claps from audience.
The Lotus Position ?
Competition?
Opposite of commuting ... hm, is that travelling for pleasure, or staying in one place while stuff comes to you? Visiting ? Having things delivered ?
Online shopping?
[To expand on the thought I had earlier]
[SM] Lazy mall? NO audience chuckles I suppose this could be an aspect of the AOTC which BTW has two words.
How remiss of me. * cleans glasses *
[Bismarck] Yoga stuff? - NO
[Dujon] Adversaries?- NO
Are we losing the will to live
Computers?
[Superman] Computers - NO.
Hint: AOTC 2 words. There is a limited number of these. The term refers to the UK only.
Give way?
Is there a connection to the calendar?
[Bismarck] Road signage, I presume. - NO
[SM] Dates? - YES * audience claps furiously *
A bank holiday?
Bingo!
[Bismarck] You are on the money. Hands over damp baton.
Oohh, ta ever so much. I'll spend the money down at the seaside.
The game commences...
This one is Vegetable in its essence.
Is it tomato ketchup?
Is it alive?
Is it something extracted from a plant?
Beginning with 'P'?
Is it cubic?
[Simons Mith] NOT a table condiment.
[Rosie] NOT living.
[Raak] YES, it is extracted from a plant.
[Software] NOT beginning with "P".
The audience that made it back from the interval are engaged in polite applause.
Does it begin with E?
[Softers] Cheeky :D
[Tuj] Nice to hear from you. Let me state that there are two words on the card, NEITHER beginning with "E".
A spice?
Is it cubic and am I repeating myself?
A poison?
Is this generally brewed in hot water prior to ingestion?
[Raak] NOT a spice.
[Boolbar 1] NOT cubic, though this does usually have a geometric shape.
[Boolbar 2] Sorry, dear.
[Rosie] NOT a poison.
[Dujon] NOT a hot drink, but it is cooked involving a little water. The audience is still showing signs of interest.
Pasta?
Processed in some way?
[Raak] NO, definitely not Italian.
[Software] Hmmm... YES, on balance, in the sense that this requires mixing of ingredients and cooking.
The audience is maintaining a polite silence.
A cake?
Bovril?
A primary ingredient like sugar for example?
[Raak] NOT a cake.
[Super] NOT Bovril.
[Software] NOT sugar, though it is the major ingredient.
Smartphones have made their appearance among the audience. Bored? Surely not...
Is fruit involved?
Fairy/Candy Floss?
[Raak] NO, not as such.
[Dijon] NO, but that deserves a round of applause.
Hoots and skirls from the Scots in the audience, mumbles of approval from the Yorkshiremen. Some muted cries of "Not bad!" from the polite seats.
Glacé cherries?
A well-known Scottish delicacy, they are.
Hot chocolate?
A sugar basket?
[S.M.] NO, Nice try but no fruit.
[SW] NO, not a drink.
[R] Getting close, at least as far as the sugar goes, but a bit too high-class. Still a NO.
The part of the audience who know what a sugar basket is give a restrained round of applause.
… Glacé potatoes?
1) Toffee? 2) Everton mints?
[SimonsM] Sell that idea to McCain's!
[Simons Mith] NO. Great idea though.
[Superman] Nice thinking! Toffee is almost a yes, it could be argued that it's an ingredient, Everton mints are getting closer, but NO!
The interest of the audience is being maintained, with some "Ooohs!" showing their appreciation.
So not glacé haggis either. Fudge
Tablet?
Scotch tablet?
(The second of those was supposed to replace the first. )
Caramel?
[Simons Mith] NOT fudge. Quite the opposite, down-to-earth sort of thing, this.
[Raak] NO, although that is the name of the next-but-one release of Android (with built-in joke).
[Software] NOT caramel.
This is all going a bit soft. Murmurs heard among the audience.
A boiled sweet?
[Raak] YES it is made in that way.
Sensation in the audience.
Audience snoring
Two words on the card...
Is it some sort of mint?
[Boolbar] Maybe mint flavouring is available, but the AOTC is not actually a mint.
Hint: it doesn't come from Yorkshire
Brighton Rock?
[CdM] What, the book by Graham Greene? But seriously, NO, but that is so close. Try a different coast.
Audience give thunderous applause.
Gone quiet in here...
Jailhouse Rock?
Surely there's a prison somewhere that makes its own...
Does the name on the rock also relate to a tower?
Is the place one of which John Clute, the science fiction critic, remarked that it was the first time he had seen pigeons pecking at human vomit in the streets?
[Simon's Mith] No, although there is a prison not too far away.
[Dujon] Yes indeed.
[Raak] Among other things Mr Clute was shocked at, yes indeed. No doubt Canada is more cultured.
A polite hush descends, breathlessly awaiting the answer...
Plymouth Rock?
Got it, surely!!
The tranquillity is breached by [CdM] getting it wrong. Not Inchcape Rock, Fraggle Rock or any other mineral, just to save you the trouble.
Audience murmurs reach force three.
Morecambe Rock?
Liverpool rock's more usually termed 'Mersey Beat', isn't it?
[CdM] YES!! Actually NO, but I'm getting fed up.
[Simon's Mith] Other than those witnesses to global warming, the Arctic Monkeys. Please stick to the subject.
The audience has formed an action group and are shouting "What do we want? The Answer! When do we want it? NOW!"
Fleetwood Rock?
Am I getting warmer?
Blackpool Rock
Gotta be!
I was going to say that CdM was close enough for me, but Blackpool rock it is, so Rosie cannot be denied. Rosie will now take this sweet baton (not that end, I've been sucking it there) and note that it has the word WINNER written all the way through!
Audience clap Rosie politely
Good heavens, I've won. There's lucky, inni' aye.

We'd better quickly have another one.

This is ABSTRACT and absolutely nothing whatever to do with steam engines.

Everything that has nothing whatever to do with steam engines?
(CdM) Multiple Choice answers are forbidden in that they violate the essential rigour of the Morniverse.
Does music come into it?
(Superman) Music? NO.
Philosophical?
(Bismark) NO, nothing to do with philosophy.
Would this be related to the sub-conscience rather than conscienceness?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with thought processes.
Is it a method or plan of some kind?
(Simons Mith) No, not a method or plan.
A saying?
(Raak) NOT a saying.
Weather related?
A measurement?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *thunderous (sic) applause*
(Simons Mith) A measurement? YES. *slight murmurs of disapproval*
A record?
(Raak) NO, not a record.
Is it localised?
(Bismarck) Localised? YES, sort of.
The eye of a hurricane?
Climate change?
(CdM) NOT the eye of a hurricane.
(Raak) NOT Climate Change.
Is it too darn hot?
(Superman) Too darn hot? NO, but *considerable audience murmurings*
Something meteorologists do?
(Raak) Something meteorologists do? NO. The AOTC is one word, a noun.
Scorchio?
... actually that's a verb. Wrong again. Hi Rosie
Is it 'isobar'?
(Chalky) Hello, m'dear, nice to see you again. Unfortunately your suggestion is wrong. Isn't scorchio an adjective? If I may indulge myself I would suggest that it is a Welsh verb, the -io- ending being the giveaway. Could mean "to burn the toast" &c.
(Simons Mith) NO, not an isobar, nothing quite so technical.
Weather?
Fog?
(Raak) NO, not weather.
(Bismarck) NO, not fog.
Temperature?
(Chalky) Temperature? NO. *some murmurs from the audience*
Drought?
YESS! Superman has it. The total absence of aqueous entities. Take this baton and give it a wipe 'cos it's been standing about in the rain.
Ze next round
Counters set to zero, AOTC generator enclenched, combobulator aligned, sphinx tube at operating temperature, and posting a live Facebook stream. Ok, that should do it. This is MINERAL, and may God bless all that sail in her.
A bathtub?
Is it a single object?
Mainly metal?
Episode 1, in which certain questions are raised
[Simon] NO
[Raak] NO
[Rosie] On balance, and after some research showing that no-one is too clear what it is made of, NO.
Is it found on Earth?
Does water come in to it?
Chapter 2, in which questions do not reveal answers
[Raak] On balance, NO, in the sense that the earth is not its natural habitat, but reports have mentioned it being found here.
[Bismark] NO.
Is it found in the Solar System?
Edscottite?
A hot plasma?
Section 3, in which our thoughts take us far away
[Raak] NO, although some "reports" etc. etc.
[CdM] NO, but that gets a big round of applause from the audience.
[Rosie] NO.
The material of an extremely dense object?
Is it found in our galaxy?
Dark matter?
Part 4, in which Jane realises that the Comte de Chambord is up to no good, and she says "NO" a lot.
[Rosie] NO.
[Raak] The galaxy being big an' all, who knows, there may well be some. But otherwise NO, though some "reports" etc. etc.
[Bism] That gets a round of applause only for the inventiveness. NO.
Is it fictional?
Is its existence anywhere speculative?
Kryptonite?
Fit the Fifth, in which all is revealed
[Rosie] YES. Now we're getting somewhere.
[Raak] Also YES.
[Simon] YES. Kryptonite it is.
Studio tapes of hard static played, imitating applause.
Please take this green, glowing baton, it's been having a bad effect on me.
Hm, well this green otherworldly glow I'm seeing is inspiring me. Let's try... VEGETABLE.
Edible?
Is it processed or in a natural state?
[Rosie] NO
[Superman] Also NO.
Wood?
[Raak] NO.
Some sort of fungus?
Fictional?
Beginning with 'P'?
[Raak] NO.
[Boolbar] AYE.
[Software] NO.
Liftwood?
I'm asking for Stevie, here
[Bismevie] NO.
Is this a piece of botany taken from the Harry Potter books?
The Luggage?
[Raak] NO. But that's another cool idea
[Superman] NO. Oops, nearly missed that one. Sorry.
Grass?
[Bismarck] NO.
A flower?
An alga?
[Bismarck] YUP.
[Superman] NO.
So we're looking for an imaginary, inedible flower which doesn't appear in Harry Potter.
[Bismarck] YES!
Is it from a television program?
[Boolbar] YYYYES.
Weed?
(from Bill and Ben. Not that I remember that programme. Definitely not. My grandparents used to tell me about it.)
[CdM] NO.
Clue?
I'll give out a clue on Sunday if there's no movement.
Is it from a sci-fi programme?
[Boolbar] AFFIRMATIVE.
Is it carnivorous?
[CdM] ABSATIVELY.
Were triffids carnivorous?
Does it say "FEEED MEEEE"?
A winner
[Bismarck] YES. Well I thought they were. Don't they sting you, then leave you to rot and soak up the juices? Perhaps that technically counts as something else. But AIUI even carnivorous plants only use meat as a dietary supplement.
[Raak] No, just clackclackclack as far as I remember.
Bismarck has it.
I'll just put on a nice thick pair of gloves and then hand over this... baton.
And so it begins again...
No way I am touching that thing. Right, here is the mystery voice to tell the audience, but you lot only get to know that it's
VEGETABLE.
Let's do it traditionally
Forgot the line. So let's see your ideas for another
VEGETABLE.
Fictional?
[Boolbar] NO, my in-laws had one.
Often found potted?
[Dujon] NEVER found potted.
A tree?
Air plant?
You can get trees in pots. You just need a bigger pot. Or a smaller tree.
[Raak] NOT a tree. Though it might once have been one.
[Simons Mith] NOT an air plant.
Unique?
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An item of furniture?
[Simons Mith] YES, it is an item of furniture. Much braying and waving of IKEA catalogues in the audience.
A dresser?
I'm thinking, a slightly uncommon item of furniture.
Is it for putting things in?
[Simon's Mith] NO, not a dresser. The AOTC might have turned up in the eponymous film, I shouldn't wonder.
[Raak] I feel it would make a rather unwieldy tool, so NO.
Did Dr. Caligari have one?
[Raak] He might well have done, though AFAIK there wasn't one in his cabinet. So NO.
Is it commonly upholstered?
Half-way there, and it's looking good...
[Simons Mith] NEVER upholstered, commonly or not.
A lampstand?
[Raak] NOT a lampstand. Note for Chelsea supporters: there is no such thing as a "tand."
Is it for sitting upon?
[Boolbar] NOT for sitting on.
A hatstand?
A footstool?
A hammock?
A set of sstocks?
*stocks
[Simons Mith] NOT a hat stand, NOR a hammock.
[Software] NOT a footstool.
[Raak] NOT a set of stocks.
Is it for sleeping on?
Is it a notable example of a whatever-it-is?
Does it have a pointy end?
[Raak] NO, that is not its primary function.
[Simons Mith] NO, this is a generic item.
[Boolbar] There MAY BE examples that have finials and thingummies, but it isn't necessary for the definition of the whatever-it-is.
Is it a dumb waiter?
A church pew?
A lectern?
Definitely not for sitting on.
BTW the mental picture I'm painting of your in-laws is getting stranger by the minute.
Your twenty questions are up...
[Superman] NOT a dumb waiter.
[Raak] NOT a church pew.
[Simon's Mith, who henceforth will be spelt with an apostrophe as I can't be bothered correcting it any more] NOT a lectern.
A hint - found in a house.
Usually found in a kitchen?
Do IKEA sell them?
[Boolbar] NOT usually found in the kitchen.
[Raak] YES, in a very stripped-down Swedish sort of way.
Do you put things on this thing?
[Raak] YES, you can put things smaller than this thing on this thing.
A shelf?
[Software] NO, not a shelf, but the thingy is shelfish to an extent.
A mantelpiece?
[Simon's Mith] NO, the whatchamacallit is not a mantelpiece.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Going back to the fundamentals...
[Raak] YES, the thingy is larger than a toaster.
A Welsh dresser?
You're on the right lines, look for the curios. [Superman] NO, the rabbit is not a Welsh dresser.
Is it for displaying knick-knackery, bric-a-brac, trinkets, curios, and the like?
[Raak] YES, that is the most common usage of the whatever-it-is.
A cabinet of curiosities?
Although I have a hard time imagining IKEA stocking one.
[Raak] Well, there's the KASSEBY...
[Raak] NO, not a cabinet. IKEA still have a thing under the name of some fruit that could be described as the AOTC, but the version I found when the subject came up first has now disappeared from the catalogue.
I have no idea. Is that it?
Is it a display case sold with a subscription to receive a uniquely designed collectible thimble every month until you build up a treasured heirloom to pass on to your descendants, who will after a decent but short interval (say, on return from the funeral) chuck it in the bin?
People who collect thimbles (it says on a thimble-collecting site) are known as Digitabulists. How very depressing.
Ideas for names of occasional furniture seem to be drying up
[Raak] NO.
[Superman] YES, the thingamajig does seem to be something you don't know.
A vitrine?
[Raak] NO. No glass involved.
Does it normally stand on the floor?
[Raak] YES. The audience has got up a petition to give you the prize for sheer effort.
Does it typically have (just) one leg?
Does it have wheels?
[Raak] Not sure if that's typical - the one my in-laws have has only one leg. Let's say YES.
[Simons Mith] NO wheels on this whatsit.
Would one typically put a specific type of item on this thing?
Is it usually found in a corner of a room?
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, I thank that's fair.
All gone away..
Spoiler alert...
Is it characteristic of a particular region of the world?
An umbrella stand?
[Raak] I would have sworn that the whatsit was peculiarly British, but my in-laws also have one and they're Belgian. It was quite a culture shock.
[Software] NO.
An elephant's-foot wastebasket?
Is it foldable?
Is it usually fixed to a wall as well as standing on one leg?
[Raak] NO, perish the thought.
[Simons Mith] NO. The idea will be passed to MFI, though, you could be on to something.
[Boolbar] NO.
Does anything hang from it?
[Raak] NO, the thingummy does not so serve.
Is it portable or mobile?
I found some old-fashioned portable desks and things that seem to fit all the constraints applied so far.
Is it some type of table?
A tallboy?
[Boolbar] NO, not some kind of table.
[Raak] NO, not a tallboy, though I have no doubt that a room with a tall boy, a vitrine, an elephant's foot basket and maybe a Welsh dresser would also have one of the AOTC.
Is there a specific type of thing that this thing is designed to have put on it?
[Raak] NO, quite the opposite.
A drawer?
Is the Ikea LILLÅNGEN End Unit an example?
[Software] NO, drawers are very rare.
[Raak] SORT OF, but these whatchamacallits are always open framed, so you'd have to take the sides and door off, probably ditch the MDF for real wood, make the shelves smaller as they rose (optional, but traditional), and make the frame somewhat decorative carved.
I asked the Internet again and while you can still buy these things (including a modern plastic and aluminium version which gave me a frisson of horror), their heyday was before WW1.
And the winner is...
To be decided in a celebrity boxing match.
Late inspiration
It's not a box is it? A one-legged box?
Does part of the thing rotate?
Simons Mith] NO, not a box. Clues have been made as to the nature of the wotsit, though.
[Boolbar] NO, it doesn't rotate. No mechanism involved.
A plant stand?
No self-respecting Victorian would go without an Aspedestra.
[Software] This is a typical usage of the AOTC, as a stand for aspidistras and objets d'art... but it has a specific name, so NO.
A jardinière?
[Raak] NO. That's too specific, you can put bric-à-brac, mementoes and whatnot on this as well.
A cachepot?
[Raak] NO.
A whatnot?
Ah, grandchildren, gather round and I'll tell you the story of The Never-Ending Game.
Or you can ask Uncle Software, he did win it.
Congratulations - a whatnot it is! Take this baton-shaped objet d'art once owned by a lady from North Wales and give us your estimation of the insurance value.
Bugger! Now I must think of something.
OK, here goes: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE , that's it.
Is there a tree of some kind
Customarily eaten?
Is this a symbiosis?
A vegan? ;)
[Boolbar] In a way sometimes, YES.
[Raak] YES
[Bismarck] NO
[Dujon] Vegan? There's a thought. NO.
A sandwich?
A pie?
Is it cooked?
[Raak] Sarnie> NO
[Boolbar] Who ate them all? YES but not the AOTC
[Superman] Oven ready - or is that a hackneyed phrase? YES
A pie containing four-and-twenty blackbirds?
Is the vegetable bit fruit?
A mince pie?
[Raak] Close but no cigar
[Bismarck] Fruity? Oh YES, but
[Rosie] is on the money! YES. - Hands over the chocolate log shaped baton.
WOO! I jes lurve Min Spies. Sorry, I've had to eat the baton before it melts.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

Is it the thought of eating a mince pie?
Christmas?
Is it the answer?
(Boolbar) Nice, but alas, no.
(Raak) No - thank God
(Superman) No. I'm not clever enough to do recursiveness.
An English idiom?
Connected with the current season?
Whether that be winter, Christmas, Kwanzanukkawali, etc.
Does it begin with P?
(Software) Not an idiom.
(Raak) Not seasonal in any way.
(Tuj) Begins with a P? YES.
Is it property ?
Mathematical?
An art form?
A state of mind?
(Bismarck) Property? Only in the sense that many people have one of these, but realistically NO.
(Boolbar) There is a connection with maths but it is so broad and vague as to be worthless. So, NO.
(Raak) I doubt even Tracey Emin could make art out of this, so NO.
(Software) NO, not a state of mind.
A paradox?
(Raak) A paradox? NO.
A science?
A pseudonym?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a science.
(Raak) A pseudonym? NO, but *some audience animation*.
Is it psychological?
(Bismarck) Psychological? NO.
Profession?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a profession.
A nickname?
Does it come from the Greek?
(Softers) A nickname? Strictly speaking NO but the AOTC does have some of the properties of a nickname. *alert members of the audience perk up*
(Radox the Green) NO, not from the Greek.
A patronym?
I was wondering about that earlier.
(Simons Mith) Like all Welsh surnames? NO, not a patronym.
A secret identity?
An acronym?
(Softers) An acronym? YES. *whoops of delight from thosemembers of the audience who know what an acronym is*
Is it a socio-economic classification?
I can't think of a 'P' word for it, but things like NIMBYs, DINKies, CHAVs, AMRAAMs and so on.
(Simons Mith) Socio-economic classification? NO.
(Raak) A secret identity? YES. *great audience animation*
Peter Parker?
Personal Identification PIN Number?
Does the acronym contain more than three letters?
Is it letters after your name?
SIMONS MITH has it! It's a PIN. Well done.

The baton passes on.......

All right, let's go for MINERAL
Is there just one of this?
[Raak] NO.
Are there just fourteen of these?
Is this a manufactured object?
Is it found on Earth?
[CdM] No.

[Rosie] Yes.

[Boolbar] Yes.

Is the quantity of these expressive as the sum of two primes?
[Radox The Green] Why yes, yes it is.
Is it metallic?
Are you assuming Goldbach's Conjecture?
[Software] No.

[Raak] No.

Made of plastic?
Is it liquid?
[Raak] No.

[Bismarck] No.

Is it made of concrete?
Are there fewer than fourteen of these?
Is it a memorial?
[Raak] No. Although I presume some are.

[CdM] No.

[Superman] No again.

Could the average Morniverser lift one of these?
Man-made?
Is it a type of gemstone?
Are these all in one country?
[Rosie] No.

[Raak] YES

[Superman] No.

[Boolbar] No.

A building?
Does it begin with P?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Superman] Nay.

[pTuj] Nay.

[Raak] Aye.

Bigger than an elephant?
Does it emit musical sounds?
But is it art?
Do they come in pairs?
[Raak] No

[Bismarck] No.

[Tuj] No.

[Boolbar] Also no.

Are they very valuable?
A means of transport?
Ceramic?
[Raak] No.

[Rosie] ... No.

[Superman]... No.

Is it a rock?
[Bismarck] No. What would count as a man-made rock?
[SM] Wouldn't a lump of concrete be a man-made rock?
Can you buy one on Amazon?
Anything to do with gardening?
[Raak, man-made rocks] I suppose. I suspect a geologist might be harder to convince.

[Amazon] No, they don't sell 'em. That eliminates a lot.

[Rosie] No, not a thing.

Is it a tool?
Fake rocks for sale and methods of manufacture are common on The Internet...
[Bismarck] Not a tool.

[Fake rocks] This is getting philosophical, but if it's a fake rock, it's not a real rock, and if it's not a real rock, it's not a rock. Right?

One of the Milton Keynes concrete cows?
[Rosie] No. Concrete had already been eliminated.
Is it made of stone?
[Superman] Nope.
Does it require electricity?
Are they usually wet?
[Tuj, electrickery] No.

[Boolbar, moistery] No, not even in Ireland or New Zealand. I admit in Kiwiland it might be close.

just a question
So if mineral is chosen, is that just like a thing that isn't an animal or a plant (vegetable)?
[KagomeShuko] It does tend to get a bit blurry if you look at it too closely. I think we'd all agree coal and plastic are mineral, for example. [But if someone does pipe up to disagree, that shows it's even closer than I'd thought.]
Are these concentrated in one particular area of the world?
Are they typically fixed to the ground?
Is anyone offering one on eBay?
question - is this correct
Being American, mineral is something extremely specific. One site told me, "English people define everything as being either Animal (if it is alive) Vegetable (if it grows) or Mineral (if it isn't alive, doesn't grow and comes from the ground.)"
[Rosie, concentration] Not really.

[Boolbar, fixed] Yes. You won't find any flying ones.

[Raak, eBay] No.

[KagomeShuko, minerals] I'd say that's a reasonable usage for this game. But a dead cat is still animal, and oxygen is still mineral even though it doesn't come out of the ground.

Does it have a common use?
[Superman, common use] Yes.
Do people usually make these themselves?
[Raak, self-made] No.
A natural phenomenon?
Is it a bomb shelter? A septic tank? A port-a-potty?
[Raak, natural] No, man-made.

[KagomeShuko] No, no, and thrice no. But those are the closest guesses yet.

Bollards.
Does glass come into it?
[Boolbar, the same to you!] No.

[Bismarck, glass] No.

Would the Average Morniverser, if there is such a thing, have one of these in his/her house?
[Rosie, average Morniverser] That's harder to estimate. On balance I think Yes.
Does one place things in this?
[Rosie, xxxxplace] No... but I think you're getting warmer
An Aga cooker?
[Bismarck] No; I expect those would be buyable on eBay, at least occasionally.
Is this thing kept inside?
[Superman, indoors] No. But also see answer to Rosie's.
Is it related to gardening?
[Raak, gardening] Nope.
Can it be bought in a shop?
[Raak, shoppable] No.
Does it consist of empty space?
Is it usually made of metal?
[Raak, empty space] Doesn't everything? No, it's not just empty space.

[Tuj, metal] No.

Is this a part of a typical building?
[Boolbar] Yes.
It is related to the void spaces within a building?
[Raak, void] Yes.
A rubbish chute?
A cavity wall?
[Rosie, chute] No

[Raak, cavity] No.

A house extension?
Does Father Christmas like these?
A room?
[Raak, extension] No.

[Dujon, Xmas] I don't know whether he likes them, but they are a necessary component of his professional work. Let's class that as a YES.

[Boolbar] No.

Are these things traditionally cleaned by Dick van Dyke, sporting an absurd Cockney accent?
[Raak, DVD] I dunno WTF he was cleaning; I couldn't get through the accent. But let's a assume a YERS or a YE-US or a YUS or however he would have pronounced it.
The cupboard under the stairs?
[Rosie] No. Good try but no.
An inglenook?
[Supes] No, not one of them neither.
The bog? Er, I mean the loo?
[Rosie] No, not a kludgie.
Is this space large enough to enter?
[Rosie] Well, we know Father Christmas can, so YES, I guess.
A chimney?
YES. A nice red-bricked chyimminny.
Here, have this baton. Mind the soot.
When ah were a lad it were a CHIMBLY, but now it's

ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
A superstition?
Racing of some kind?
(Raak) A superstition? NO.
(Simons Mith) Racing? NO.
A live animal?
Is it weather related?
A work of art depicting an animal?
(Bismark) The Animal Connections are certainly alive but this is not the AOTC.
(Boolbar) Weather related? NO.
(Raak) NOT a work of art of any kind.
A work of writing?
Associated with a particular place?
(Raak) NOT a written work.
(Tuj) Associated with a particular place? YES *warm audience applause*
Shangri la?
Crufts?
(Softers) Shangri-la? NO, nothing so exotic.
(Simons Mith) Crufts? NO. No doggies involved.
Welsh? ;)
Fictional?
Would this be something primarily for children?
Are the connected animals four-legged?
(Tuj) Welsh? NO, believe it or not.
(Raak) Fictional? NO, real.
(Bismarck) For children? NO.
(CdM) 4-legged animals? Now, that would be interesting, but the answer is definitely NO.
Is the associated place in the UK?
Worm charming?
(Boolbar) In the UK? YES
(Simons Mith) Can that be done? It's NOT the answer anyway, alas.
Swan upping?
Are the animal connections human?
Is this an activity?
(Simons Mith) Er, wassat, then? I'm afraid it's no nearer the answer.
(Tuj) Animal connections human? YES.
(Raak) An activity? NO.
Be it connected to sport?
(Tuj) Connected to sport? NO.
Is this something that happens once a year?
(Boolbar) Annual event? NO, it's continuous.
Is it an agricultural activity?
(Simons Mith) Agricultural? That would be a cruel if understandable interpretation of this. Short answer, NO.
Wool-gathering?
(Raak) Wool-gathering? NO.
Is it a job role or title?
Is it a metaphorical expresion?
(Tuj) Job role or title? NO.
(Raak) Metaphorical? No, it's what it says on the tin.

The AOTC is not in the least obscure but it is unusual for this game.

The Cerne Giant?
(Bismarck) Old Knobhead? The AOTC is Abstract.
An accent?
Abstract but associated with a particular area got me well stumped.
(Simons Mith) An accent? YES. *audience ecstatic*
Cockney?
(CdM) Cockney? Jokin' mate.
Welsh?
Acute? Oh no, that'd be associated with somewhere in France. Cornish?
(Raak) NOT a Welsh accent, North or South. (Welsh has already been eliminated).
(Simons Mith) Cornish? NO. A grave error.
Scouse.
(Superman) Scouse? NO, you're in the wrong areal.
Black Country...?
[Superman] no such luck eh? Anyway you hardly spoke it.
RP?
(Bismarck) Yam flailing about, it seems. NOT Black Country.
(CdM) RP? Oh, good heavens, no.
This is an urban variant of a regional accent. I have put a bit of a giveaway clue somewhere in here.
Brizzle?
Geordie, then.
(Bismarck) NOT Geordie, but SOFTERS HAS IT. Gert accurate, proper like. Award yourself the ceremonial bananal.
Hidden textTHe clue was in my last response to Superman
What? Me again? Well I'm buggered! Tha's gurt lush m'deariol.

Right then. MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections.

Manufactured item?
The salt on my fish 'n' chips?
[Rosie] Made up? In a way, YES.
[Boolbar] Tasty, but NO.
A plate of fish and chips with mushy peas?
Is there just one of this?
Does it have an alliterative name?
A country?
[Bismarck] Luvly grub? NO
[Raak] Unique? YES
[Tuj] Lettered? NO
[Simons Mith] National? NO
On Earth?
Is it found inside a building?
[Simons Mith] Terrestrial? YES
[Boolbar] Internal? NO
But is it art?
A statue?
Is it a natural phenomenon that has been 'defined' in some way, such as a nature reserve?
[Tuj[ Good question, some might say, some might not.
[Rosie] Statuesque? NO.
[Simons Mith] Phenomena? NO.
Is it in England?
[Bismarck] Blighty? YES.
Is it in a town or city?
A fossilized tree?
Is it ancient?
Is it manmade?
Is it functional?
[Raak] Urban? NO
[Bismacck] Coal? NO
[Bismarck] Ancient? Depends on how you define "ancient"
[Tuj] Man made? YES
[CdM] Functional? YES
A reservoir?
A bridge?
[Somons Mith] Water dump? NO
[Raak] Over troubled water? YES
Recap v1
So it's a bridge. In England, but not in a town. It may be of some antiquity. And possibly involving artistics.
The Severn bridge?
A road bridge?
[Bismarck] First or second? NO
[Rosie] Roadie? YES
The Iron Bridge?
[Raak] Mr Darby's masterpiece? NO
Is the road either a main road or a motorway?
Building, Burning, or Falling Down
Is it the Richmond Bridge, the Tower Bridge, or the Tarr Steps?
Humber Bridge?
Is it the original 'Pooh Sticks' bridge?
I do have some doubt that it's a road bridge, but can't tell for sure one way or the other.
[Rosie] Highway code? YES
[KagomeShuko] A bridge too far? NO
[Bismarck] Bridge north? NO
[Simons Mith] AA Milne-ish? NO
Does it need constant repainting?
Has it been proposed to keep it from rust by boiling it in wine?
[Simons Mith] Forth bridge style? YES (don't they all?)
[Raak] Medoc rust preventer? Great idea but NO
The Clifton Suspension Bridge, proper like
[Rosie] IKB's masterpiece, m'luvvy? YES! I'd have thought you would have leapt on that straight away, mate.

(Hands over the SS Great Britain shaped baton.)

Grabs baton. Ouch, where are you supposed to hold it?

OK, this next one is nothing to do with Bristol, or Wales, or steam engines. It is

VEGETABLE with strong ABSTRACT connections.

Is the vegetable edible?
Is it a wood or forest?
A work of art?
Is it das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester?
Just a stab in the dark...
(R the G) Vegetable edible? Only by dogs. Short answer is NO.
(Boolbar) NOT a wood or forest.
Raak) NOT a work of art.
(SM) Das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester? Wooden a fought so. I'll check.
Arabidopsis thaliana?
(Raak) Arabidopsis thaliana? Having Googled it, I can say with the greatest of confidence that the answer is NO.
Dogs'll eat almost anything, but it's hard to find something vegetable that only dogs will eat. Is the thing commonly found in a house??
(SM) Commonly found in a house? Probably NOT these days. Probably edible by other animals, e.g. rats, but a dog is the most likely.
A stick, like you might throw for a dog?
Is the vegetable manufactured/processed in some way?
Marmite?
Is the vegetable part wooden?
(R the G) A stick? NO.
(SM) Manufactured or processed? YES.
(Softers) Lovely stuff? NO, alas.
(Boolbar) Wooden? NO.
Is it a fabric?
Is it unique?
(SM) A fabric? NO.
(Tuj) Unique? NO.
A bird's nest?
(Software) A bird's nest? NO.
Is it a fruit?
(Superman) A fruit? NO.
A member of the Poaceae family?
Is the abstract part a saying?
Rubber wellies?
Eminently chewable for the canis familiaris and rattus norvegicus crowds.
(Boolbar) Grassed up? NO.
(Raak) A saying? NO.
(SM) Nice try but still v. cold. So NO.
Is this something used for heating or lighting?
(Boolbar) For heating or lighting? NO.
Is the abstract part a measurement or quantity?
Can it be bought derp-frozen?
Deep-frozen of course.
(Simons Mith) It could certainly be regarded as that, so YES. *audience animation, previously absent*
(Bismarck) Deep or derp frozen. NEITHER, I'm afraid.
Is the abstract part included or acknowledged in the thing's name?
Is tobacco involved?
(Simons Mith) Abstract nature acknowledged in name? YES. *even greater animation from the audience*
(Raak) Nicotinic involvement? NO. I dunno, just 'cos I like the fags.
A grandfather clock?
Some sort of floor or wall covering?
(SM) Grandfather clock? NO.
(Boolbar) Floor or wall covering? NO.
A tape meaure?
A bean feast?
(SM) A tape measure? Well, rather better than that, but NO. *audience murmurings*
(Software) Accountant's holiday? NO, not a bean feast.
Is it some type of aide-memoire?
(Boolbar) An aide-memoire? NOT really. Maybe just an aide.
For measuring distance?
(SM) Measuring distance? NO.
A yard broom?
(Softers) A yard broom? NO.
For measuring fluids?
An item of furniture?
(SM) NOT for measuring fluids.
(Superman) Furniture? NO, except possibly as a word joke.
A country mile?
(Softers) A country mile? I'm afraid your attempt is wide of the mark by precisely that amount.
The Radio Times?
(SM) NOT the Radio Times. Maybe something less engaging.
Old Moore's Almanac?
(SM) Old Moore's Almanac? NO. Even less readable than that.
Is this a book containing information?
The Phone Book?
(Boolbar) Contains information? YES. *audience erupts*
(Simons Mith) The Phone Book? NO, but in a way that sort of thing.
A quipu?
(Raak) NOT a Quipu but you're on the right road.
An LP?
(Superman) An LP? NO.
An atlas?
A bookmark?
(SM) An atlas? NO
(Softers) A bookmark? NO.

A recap - this is a book, uninspiring and of little use these days.

Originally published in England?
(Raak) Originally published in England? YES, probably. Sources are not quite clear on this.
Logarithmic tables?
(revealing my age)
Old Moores Almanac?
CdM has it! It's Log Tables. Well done - a tricky one. Take this 'ere mantissa and proceed to the next one.
(Softers) Sorry, NO.
Lurker's Victory; sorry. On the brighter side, at least I noticed I won. I think the last time I won a round I completely forgot to check back for several days.

ABSTRACT
Cognitive ability?
Being sorry?
Cognitive ability? I think not.
Being sorry? Regretfully, no.
Time?
Time? No. *some applause from the audience*
Is this essentially a human experience?
Oh, the humanity!
Essentially human? No
(I should perhaps note that I can certainly come up with animal (including human), vegetable, and probably even mineral connections, but I don't think that information is helpful.)
Growth?
Physical law?
Growth? *rapturous applause* Growth is one of the words on the card.
Physical law? No (though not entirely unconnected).
Exponential growth?
Well that was quick
Exponential growth is the answer. It seemed to follow naturally from Rosie’s log tables. Have this baton. It’s 10% longer than it was yesterday, and 33.1% longer than it was on Friday.
A fresh slate
OK, let's try a clean break for the next one.

This is Animal

Is it human?
N- YES. I was initially going to give a firm no, but then I thought about it some more. YES.
Is there more than one of it at any one time?
Jesus?
[Raak] Not Jesus
[Bismarck] No, they're pretty singular.
Prehistoric?
[Raak] No.
A single living human being?
[CdM] Curiously, given my answer to Bismarck, no.
Can I go and see one of these beings (or their remains) on display in a museum?
[Boolbar] Turns out, yes.
A hunter?
[Software] No.
A waxwork?
A mummified corpse?
An idol?
Part of a human?
[waxworks] No.
[mummy] No.
[idol] No.
[part of a human] ... For consistency with my previous answer, yes. I might owe you a hint, this answer is a bit misleading either way.
Sedlec Ossuary?
Fictional?
[Ossuarial] No. That is such a cool place tho'
[Fictional] Yes.
A monster?
[monster] Yes.
A cyborg?
Several good guesses in a row
[cyborg] No.
Frankenstein's monster?
[Frankenstein's monster] No.
Dominic Cummings?
Samson?
A half-human hybrid?
[Cummings] Ugh. No.
[Samson] No.
[Hybrid] No. No breeding involved.
The Incredible Hulk?
[HULK] NO. MADDER AND MUCH HAIRIER
King Kong?
A were-being?
[King] No.
[were] No. Not when or why, either, BTW.
Incidentally, I'd peg the audience as alert and poised to applaud, but you're not close enough for a clap just yet.
The Abominable Snowman?
Not many fictional humanoid monsters occur to me that one can see in a museum.
[Abonimable anobinamal snow dude] No.
The existence of the museum was a surprise to me too.
Bigfoot?
[Bigfoot] No. In fact, their feet are rarely seen at all,
Is this fictional thing originally from a book?
[Bookish] No.
From a movie?
[Movies] No, not originally.
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
[Bugblatters] No, less hungry.
The Slightly Peckish Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
Do accounts of this go back to before the 19th century?
[Peckish] Yes, I think 'peckish' pitches things about right.
[19th Century] No, they're a go-getting modern monster, all ready to face the challenges of the new millennium.
Are these from a children's TV show?
[Children's show] YES. [Claps and cheers from the audience]
Cookie Monster?
[COOKIES!] No. Getting close, but no. [More claps BTW]
Is there a Humphrey about?
Always imagined them as hairy beasties, but since they were never seen IIRC, who knows.
[Humphreys] No, they were red and white stripey drinking straws, and they were seen, certainly in the TV ads.
A cross-eyed tomato on a spring?
[Tomato] No, not Zebedee.
The Honey Monster?
A Disney character?
[Honey Monster] No.
[Disney] Yes, of course Disney would have bought them out...
The Swedish Chef?
I'm sticking with the Muppets until further notice.
[Bork? Bork!] No. [Nevertheless, applause returns in force]
Is it a Muppet?
[Muppet] YES. [Applause continues]
Oscar the Grouch?
(If that's not right we may need to start asking more general questions again. Turns out there are a lot of Muppets. Wikipedia even makes what is apparently a key distinction between Muppet Show Muppets and Sesame Street Muppets.)
Is it a Muppet in the shape of a recognizable animal?
[Oscar] No.
[Recognisable] Teetering on a one-word giveaway here. I'll say no, but I wanted to say yes.
Animal?
I hope not... stalking is so unbecoming.
A winner!
[Animal] Sorry rab - be ready for disappointment. YES, it's Animal. Here's a drum-stick shaped baton for you. Don't mind the toothmarks.
Drat!
Sorry everyone.

This next one is Abstract

Is it the thought of going out for something non-essential?
[Boolbar] That drew a very sharp intake of breath from the audience.
Self-isolation?
Is it topical?
Self-isolation? No.

Topical? Current, yes; relating to a surface, no.

Hypochondria?
I told you I was ill? No.
Solitude?
Is it something experienced by a human?
Solitude? Not quite - and Raak was closer (and yet, at the same time, further away).

Human experience? Yes, albeit diminished.

A dream?
Dream? We might want it to be, but no.

audience - *looks distractedly at Raak*

Quarantine?
Quarantine? No, but in this neck of the woods.
The two meter gap?
R0?
Two metres? *audience bounces up and down, trying to avoid attracting the attention of the police*

R0? No

Not being quarantined?
Social distancing as a 21st century ontology?
[Raak] no (but yes)

[Bismarck] it says “social distancing” on the card so I think you can have that one.

Had to wait a couple of days for the disinfection process to work on the baton. Can't be too careful. But hooray!
This is MINERAL, though there is an ANIMAL connection (not the Muppet this time, though)
A processed material?
Is it made by animals - e.g. chalk, coral, concrete etc.?
Is it unique?
Who needs 20 questions?
[Rosie] Processed material? ... ... ... No. But sorta.
[Simons] YES, it is made by animals. The audience cheers, even those who were still out at the intermission and haven't found their seats yet.
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An excretory substance?
A fossil?
Dinosaur poo?
Dinosaur eggs?
Is this a result of animals dying?
Does it begin with P?
A shell?
Just back from the Easter break...
Right, to cut through all these very good suggestions, well done everyone! But Simons Mith wins the audience's chocolate bunny this round, it's a shell, NO to all the rest.
The card still has another word on it, and the question count is at 10.
Is it made by chickens?
Is it the shell of a sea dwelling creature?
Tortoiseshell?
Whispers in my shell-like
[Simons ] NO, no fowl play here.
[Boolbar] YES, there would be an audience sensation here but the Skype link went down.
[Raak ] NO, not even a mock turtle.
Question count up to 13.
Is it sold by the sea shore?
She shells she shells...
[Simons] YES, though in these gender-confused days I am unable to say by whom.
Cockles, winkles, mussels, and whelks?
Alive, alive-O
[Raak] NO, none of them, but you are very close. Try a few more.
Clam, crab or conch? Cowry? Barnacle?
Bit of a shotgun approach...
Oyster shells?
Like shooting shellfish in a bucket
[Simons] NO, your shotgun didn't hit the target.
[Raak] NO.
Limpet?
That's me done, otherwise.
Scallop shells?
Getting closer and still hanging in there
[Simons] NO, not a limpet.
[Raak] NO, not a scallop.
Very close. This is a common shell on most beaches. Question count up to 19.
Who needs 20 questions?
Come on you lot, you can do it!
Cuttlefish?
Bong!
[software] NO. (Do you get cuttlefish on the beaches near you?)
Lots
Oysters?
Lots of cuttlefish bones on our beaches.
Razor shells?
And the winner is...
I've never seen cuttlefish bones on beaches, if they're that common presumably I didn't know what I was looking at.
[Software] NO.
[Raak] YES, it's the razor shell. Take this baton covered in mother-of-pearl and go on to better things!
Neither ANIMAL, nor VEGETABLE, nor MINERAL, nor ABSTRACT
That's right, it's Covid-19!

Just thought I'd get that one out of the way.

MINERAL
And nothing to do with The Current Situation.
Metallic?
Terrestrial?
Oil-based?
[Rosie] Largely metallic.
[Simons] *ripple of amusement from the audience* Strictly speaking...yes, terrestrial.
[Projoy] Not oil-based.
Is it a long way from home?
A satellite?
[Simons] It's a long way from my home.
[Software] *applause!* Yes and no.
The moon?
Is it about car-sized?
The International Space Station?
[Bismarck] Not the moon.
[Simons] Not about car-sized.
[Rosie] Not the ISS.
Does it have harpoons?
[Simons] Yarr! Bain't be havin' no harpoons nohow, matey.
An artificial earth satellite?
[Rosie] Yes! An artificial earth satellite. Despite my yes and no answer earlier. When is a satellite not a satellite?
Part of a launch vehicle, like Apollo 11 second stage?
Is it 40+ years old?
[Bismarck] Not part of a launch vehicle.
[Simons] Not 40+ years old.
Made by SpaceX?
The Hubble Space Telescope?
Is its mission solar observation?
[Boolbar] Not made by SpaceX.
[Rosie] *applause!!* Not Hubble.
[Simons] Not for solar observation.
So, JWST I reckon
Yes, the James Webb Space Telescope, which will be a satellite when it's launched. Have this baton-shaped chocolate-covered sponge cake which philosophers can't prove isn't floating somewhere in the asteroid belt since last Tuesday.
Let's crack on with the next one then. Hmm. Perhaps I shall do an ABSTRACT.
A human characteristic?
[Human] Yeeah.
Has a monumental allegory to this item been constructed?
[Monument] No, I don't think so.
Hidden textIf there was, how big would you make it?
An emotion?
[Emotion] Nope.
A co-operative characteristic?
[Co-operative] No.
A mental function?
[Mental] Not really.
Is this a human only characteristic (or can other animals have it)?
[Uniquely hooman] Yes, human only. Too much of a stretch to attribute it to animals IMO.
Big-headedness?
[Big-headedness] No. A few claps though
Consciousness?
The wearing of clothes?
[Consciousness, Clothing] No and no.
To do with speech?
[speech] Yyyes. Usually requiring speech, at any rate.
Hubris?
[Hubris] Not really. A couple more claps, from different audience members to last time
A boast?
[Boast] ...No. Very strong applause though. Possibly even whoops.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect?
That's definitely the right answer, even if it isn't.
[Duning-Krooger] Nuh-uh. Most of the clapping stops. What remains is probably unreliable.
[Simons] You're just saying that because, unlike me, you're not smart enough to realise that it is in fact the right answer.
At least I can spell Dunig Kreuzfeldt.
Flyting?
[Flyting] No, nothing so new-fangled.
Does it require modern technology to work properly?
[modern tech] No.
Is it done for entertainment?
[entertainment] Not usually. While it can be done for comic effect, that's not its normal objective.
Swearing?
[Cuss words] No...
Exaggeration?
Radox wins!
Yes, 'Exaggeration' is the word on the card. Here, let me pass on to you this totally awesome baton of awesome awesomeness.
Unaccustomed as I am ..
Oooh, lovely! Awesome and then some.
Bear with me as the Laser Display Board is updated for the audience. For the contestants, the subject is Abstract.
(The physical object could be An, Veg, or Min, but I am looking for a property which is Abstract.)
Isolation?
Worth a pot, however unoriginal.
A lucky charm?
Ditto
[Rosie] NOT isolation.
[Tuj] NOT as such, though no doubt someone, somewhere, uses one as a lucky charm.
Any relevance to the current pandemic?
[Rosie] NO. Phew. Don't we all need a break?
A favourite thing?
A human construct?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NOT a favourite thing.
[Tuj] YES. No animals, vegetables, or minerals can have thought of this.
[CdM] NO, though there is a P in it.
Is it something animals, plants and [mineral] computers can all do?
Is this related to a bodily junction?
Did this exist in Classical Rome and Greece?
[Simons Mith] NO, they cannot. The primary object can be made from something A, V or even M, but the property sought is not linked to the substance.
[Rosie] NO. Not linked to a bodily junction in any way I can think of.
[Raak] NO, it is more recent.
Is the object a household object?
Anything to do with food?
Is it to do with the shape of things?
Is it numerically quantifiable?
[I'm still pondering the lucky charm connection.]
Or does it have religious connections?
Hope I'm allowed two questions on the go at once
[Bismarck] YES, I have several in my home and I suspect most people have.
[Boolbar] NO, food has nothing to do with this.
[Raak] NO, as far as the objects go they are all rectangular.
[Simons Mith] YES, numbers come into it.
NO religious connections though, not even a chapel in Las Vegas.
Are the physical objects books?
[Raak] NO, not books. There was a stir in the audience, though.
Are the physical objects placemats?
[Simons Mith] NO, they aren't placemats.
Board games?
[Simons Mith] NO, not board games. Another stir in the audience.
The game of dominoes?
Crosswords?
[Simons Mith] NO, not dominoes. [Software] NO, not crosswords.
Card games?
[Simons Mith] NO, but the audience liked that one.
Jigsaws?
Will it help to know the name of the thing to which this property attaches?
Are the physical objects boxes, whether fancy or plain?
I'm fast running out of rectangular things...
Something to do with pictures, photos or paintings?
[Software] NO, not jigsaws.
[Bismarck] YES, in fact someone has already mentioned it, but not in the right context.
[Simons Mith] NO, not boxes.
[Boolbar] NO, only a link of extreme tenuousness can be drawn with your three P's.
Are the physical objects playing cards?
Maps?
[Bismarck] YES, it is playing cards. Audience sensation.
[Simons Mith] NO, not maps.
Tarot?
Abundance?
A house of cards?
[Raak] Not as such.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
A collectible card game?
An action or result of an action within a card game?
Trumps?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No. Some audience clapping.
[CdM] Yes!! Audience cheering, clapping etc.

CdM wins!
Please take this deck and deal the next round.

ABSTRACT with distinct Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections—by which I mean I am thinking of one particular connection of each type above all. To add to the confusion, the Mineral connection has its own Animal and Vegetable subconnections.
Something taxonomic?
A well known phrase or saying?
To do with the environment?
Classified information? No
Well known phrase or saying? No, but there is some immediate audience interest
Green? No?
A proverb?
Proverb? No. Audience interest wanes.
Some kind of official pronouncement?
Connected with food?
To do with current affairs?
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!? No
Foody? No.
Current affairs? Not at all.
Is it a song of some kind?
A scientific idea?
A game of some sort?
Fossils?
Song? No. Loud applause, some muttering, and also a little laughter.
Scientific idea? No.
Game? No.
Fossils? No. Curiously, there is a slight smattering of applause.
Applicable to the elderly?
Shuddup at the back
A museum?
To do with geology?
An orchestra?
Applicable to elderly? The least misleading answer is surely No. But there is a sense in which I could say Yes. The question just doesn't actually make much sense with respect to the AOTC.
A museum? No. Another smattering of applause.
Geological? No. The audience considers retracting its smattering response to the "Fossils" question on the grounds that it was probably unhelpful.
Orchestra? No. The audience considers smattering, then thinks better of it.
Is it to do with myth and legend?
Does it begin with P?
Is it just me who, when reading through this game, mentally hears the audience reactions (which sound a lot like an ISIHAC audience during Sound Charades)?
To do with sounds that people make?
Myth and legend? There is a connection. At the start I stated that the Mineral Connection to the AOTC has Animal and Vegetable subconnections; myth/legend are an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection of the Mineral connection to the answer on the card, which is Abstract. I presume that clarifies matters. :)
Begins with P? No.
To do with sounds people make? It can, but need not, be connected to sounds that people make. (Also, sounds people make could be an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection blahblahblah.)

(To the extent the last question was prompted by the one occasion of audience enthusiasm, that might indeed be a profitable line of enquiry. Or you might want to pursue one or more of the A,V,M connections.)
Is the particular animal connection you are thinking of, human?
Life?
The music of the spheres?
Animal connection human? Yes
Life? No.
Music of the spheres? No.
Would civilisation come into it?
Civilisation? I'm going to go with Yes. Some of these questions are so broad that they are hard to answer, but, I dunno, "Yes" just feels right in this case. That said, I'm not sure it's helpful.
Is it the game of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock?
A wild guess.
A musical instrument?
Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock? Finally, a question I can answer easily. No.
Musical instrument? No, but musical instruments are a subconnection of the Mineral connection of the AOTC.
Communication?
Is the main mineral connection a metal?
Religious?
Is it something like a cyclopedia?
Communication? No.
Mineral = metal? No.
Religious? No, but there are certainly religious subconnections of the Mineral connection of the AOTC
Cyclopedic? No. Despite all of the various subconnections and subsubconnections, the AOTC is actually something quite specific.
Is it a team of superheroes? :-)
Are we looking for the title of a piece of fiction?
Superheroes? No.
Title of piece of fiction? The audience gasps and applauds loudly. No.
The title of some written work?
A collection?
Title of written work? Yes! Applause
Collection? No.
Is the word "Rock" on the card?
Is it a work about types of music?
Rocky? No.
About types of music? No, although types of music are referenced in the work.
A biography?
Biography? No.
Was this written before 1900?
Written prior to 1900? Yes.
Was it written in English?
Written in English? Yes.
Is the book about philosophy, natural or otherwise?
Is the book about history? Gibbons' Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire?
Is it by a single author?
Check your assumptions
Philosophical? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
History? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire? No. (Some audience laughter.)
Single author? Yes.
Is is a single book?
Checking one assumption...
Single book? No.
Is it a periodical?
Is it the author's entire oeuvre?
Periodical? No.
Entoeuvre? No.
Is it poetry?
Is it the works of a particular composer?
Poetry? Yes. The audience puts down their phones and applauds.
Composer’s works? No.
Recap
So it's the title of a work of poetry written before 1900 (and possibly much older). It is not the author's entire work, but it is more than one book while not being a collection, and it doesn't begin with P. There are connections through the title to A, M, and V, as well as to legends in a way.
Virgil's Georgics?
"The Faerie Queene"?
Because I'm nice.
Bismarck's recap is mostly right. However, I did not say the AOTC was more than one book. I said it was not a single book. I'll also tell you for free that I was thinking of the main animal connection as being the author, and the main vegetable connection as paper. The mineral connection, which has not been explored, has—as already noted—Animal and Vegetable subconnections, and various subsubconnections.

Virgil? No.
Spenser? No.
Was the author English?
English author? Yes.
Is this work in a medium other than a book?
I think you’re overcomplicating things
Medium other than a book? No. I mean, like everything else, it now also exists on the internet, but otherwise you’d normally expect to find it in a book.
Later than Chaucer?
Post-Chaucer? Yes.
Victorian?
Kipling's Barrack-Room Ballads?
Victorian? No.
Kipling? No.
Shakespearean?
Shakespearean? No.
Was some at least of this poetry written before January 1, 1901?
Written before 1/1/1? Yes. (We already knew that.)
Written in the Georgian era?
This is a very boring way of getting to the answer. :)
Georgian? Yes.
By Alexander Pope?
Are any seabirds involved?
Trying to be less boring. :)
Popeish? No.
Seabirds? No. (Except perhaps implicitly and very tangentially. Which means you should forget I even mentioned it.)
Dryden?
Hymns Ancient and Modern?
By William Wordsworth?
Only marginally less boring :)
Dryden? No.
Hymns? No.
Wordsworth? No.
The mineral you talked about: we know it isn't a rock, but is it a jewel?
Mineral-ish
Could this be about SHELLey?
Rock? No.
Shelley, with or without the EY? No.
A poem about a historic event?
Poem about a historic event? (The audience applauds the question.) That's a bit tricky to answer, but at the risk of giving too much away, I'll do my best. The simple answer is No. Thinking about the AOTC in terms of a specific historic event is not in itself helpful.

That said, there is definitely a historical aspect both to the AOTC (more specifically the mineral subconnection) and to the various subsubconnections of the mineral subconnection. And it is also correct to say that those historical subsubconnections involve an event or events, broadly understood.
What is that alluring scent?
Could somebody been SLAVING over AN INGREDIENT FOR MAKING BREAD?
Er, what?
I don't understand the question, but it has nothing to do with the AOTC.
Longfellow?
Lurker's guess - Is the name Ozymandias, King of kings?
Longfellow? No.
Ozymandias? No. (Shelley has already been suggested and rejected. Also, I don't know what you mean by "the name"; there has been no mention of a name in this AVMA.)

I'm surprised this is proving so difficult. It's not that obscure. And you will get there eventually just by naming poets, but I'm not sure if it is the best route to the answer.
Is it based on an Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No.
less vague . . .
Could we be singing about amber grains of WHEAT?
Wheat? Nope? And I still have no idea what you are referring to :)
Are they a poet laureate?
Poet Laureate? No.
A poem about a location or country?
About a location or country? No, but the audience wakes from their stupor and applauds, particularly when they hear the word "country".
National anthems?
Because I'm still nice
National anthems? No.
As a tidbit of extra information to add to my previous answer, there is a strong connection to a particular country (which is not England).
Anything to do with Scotland?
Scottish? No.
Is there a French connection?
French? No.
hmmm
Guess I need to Phyllis you in on this author . . .
Is there a Greek connection?
Greek connection? Yes! Prolonged relieved applause from the audience!!
The ancient Greeks?
Ancient Greeks? Yes.
Aristotle?
Popping in a bit late
Given that a Greek Ancient would not have penned his poetry in English I am forced to the conclusion that the AOTC must be one of the many translations of his works. I have no idea as to the name of any of those conversions but would suggest Homer as the poet.
Homer? No. It's already been ascertained that it was written in English in the Georgian era.
Sorry, I missed Raak's question. No obvious connection to Aristotle.
"On First Looking into Chapman's Homer"?
Chapman's Homer? No. The audience bursts into huge applause.
Chapman's Homer itself?
Chapman’s Homer? No. The applause peters out into a crestfallen silence.
Ode to a Grecian Urn?
Alexander Pope?
Ode to a Grecian Urn? No.

Rapturous applause is cut suddenly short by the judges' response. Audience members look at each other puzzled. Murmurings of discontent give rise to crescendoing boos from some, while others google frantically. Rotten fruit is hurled. The judges retreat, huddle briefly, and reverse their verdict.

Ode on a Grecian Urn? Yes.

The judges run away, leaving behind a baton inscribed with the words "Beauty is truth, truth beauty".
So I have won by getting it wrong? I'm not even a politician, so this is a surprise. And just where that leaves us on truth-beauty spectrum is anyone's guess.
Talking of "anyone's guess", would you care to hazard what might be this ANIMAL of which I am thinking?
Is it unique?
Is it mythical?
[CdM] The judges made the right call. Otherwise we'd have had to have worked our way through Ode by a Greek Urn, Ode Under a Greek Urn, Ode In a Greek Urn and so on.
[CdM] YES, there can be only one.

The judges want to award you the palm immediately out of sheer nervousness, but the audience want their money's worth. Pierluigi Collina is drafted in to restore order.

[Simons Mith] NO, its doings are well-documented with photographic evidence.

Are we talking about a human?
Is this to be found in Caledonia?
A current public figure?
Is it a tiger?
I love tigers :)
[Boolbar] YES, the animal is human.
[Dujon] NO, not in Scotland, certainly not during lockdown.
[Raak]
  • YES, the human concerned is alive;
  • DEPENDS what you mean by "public", the human has for instance been on the telly.

[Tuj] NO, not a tiger, however much we may be fans of them.
Are they connected with politics?
Aw phooey :P
Is this human defined, for the purposes of this game, by the role they occupy?
[Tuj] NO, there is no politics here. Thought that might make a nice change.
[CdM] NO, insofar as I understand the question: I am expecting the name and surname of the human concerned. If you use any middle names, you will win points, and we all know what that means.
Do any of their middle names begin with P?
Cries of "Prizes!"
Is this human a woman?
Do they have musical talents?
[CdM] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[SimonsMith] IRRELEVANT, it's not for music that they are known.

Audienceometer: in repose.

Were they born before 1980?
[CdM] Delightful question.
An actor?
[Tuj] NO, which means this person is a lot younger than most of you.
[Boolbar] NO, although that may surprise some.

Audienceometer: Muttered off-topic conversations.

A sportsbeing?
Is this person currently to be found in England?
*putting on Mouse Ears*
Was this woman on a Disney show?
Are the initials of this person's middle names T E & E?
[SM] YES, this person is best known for sporting prowess.
[CdM] NO, and I'm pretty certain about this.
[KS]
  • a) NOT a woman as previously intimated
  • b) NO, no mice involved

[Duj] NO. Who on earth...

Audienceometer : Applause recorded for Simons Mith.

Is this young mouseless male abroad-from-an-English-perspective sportsbeing of European nationality?
Does he hit balls with a stick for a living?
I thought I broke something...
Does this sport use wheeled transport?
... Such as golf buggies?
[CdM] YES.
[Everyone else] NO.

Audienceometer : comatose.

*Interlude to sate Bismarck's curiosity*
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg. She is not a woman, she's girl. Nor is she a politician.
*End* Carry on.
Is this sportsbeing currently (or was he very recently) in either Germany or Portugal?
[CdM] NO, at least if this is a reference to the football. He may well have been there, though given COVID19 I suspect he hasn't travelled.

Audienceometer: Low buzz of conversation about Greta Thunberg, Tintin etc.

Is this person less than 20 years old?
Would he have been competing at the Olympics had they taken place this year?
[Boolbar] NO, he is older.
[Tuj] NO.

Audienceometer: dozing.

Is their sport an Olympic sport?
[Raak] YES. Hint - it has figured in almost all the Olympics.
Is the sport running?
[Raak] NO. However, to play it well, you need to be able to run. Hint: the sport does not fall under the IOC definition of athletics.
Is their sport a team sport?
[Boolbar] YES, it is a team sport.

Audienceometer: Applause.

Is it played indoors?
Does this non-rodentia male participate in a sport made up of sports?
Is the person concerned British?
[Superman] This sport, as with many team sports at the Olympics, has both forms. Thus one is outdoor, so a big hint and a big NO.
[KagomeShuko] NO, just the one discipline here.
[Radox The Green] NO.

Audienceometer: Small effervescence for Radox.

Are they a Commonwealth sportsperson?
Is this person Irish?
Is the sport football?
[Simons Mith] NO, not from the Commonwealth.
[Tuj] NI, not Irish.
[CdM] YES! I was wondering if all the Olympic stuff would have distracted everyone too much.

Audienceometer: Hoots, cheers and mostly unprintable chants break out for CdM.

Is this gentleman employed by a team in the English Premier League?
[Tuj] NO.
French?
Has this character ever played for a team in the English Premier League?
[Boolbar] NON. Although he can speak the language.
[Superman] YES, he has.
Audienceometer: Confrontation between supporters of different clubs being dealt with by security.
Did he pick up a French accent from having worked for a time for a French team?
Is this person currently playing at a professional level?
[Raak] Not because of that, NO.
[CdM] YES, he is still playing. Hint: Also at a well-known club.
Audienceometer: A compromise deal resulting in incessant chants of "'Ere we go, earwig O, 'ere we go" is reached.
Has he won the World Cup?
[Tuj] NO WC on the honours board, I'm afraid. The more I go through this, the more it seems like he isn't a very good player, whereas he is well regarded. Paradise awaits him, no doubt.
Is he Belgian?
[CdM] YES, he is Belgian.
Audienceometer : Cheers, whistles and general noise for CdM.
Has he been employed by a football club from Manchester in the past?
Eden Hazard?
(I’m so certain that that is the right answer, given all the clues, that I’m tempted to just get the next round underway immediately. But I’ll observe proper protocol.)
[Tuj] No. Fellaini, Lukaku, De Bruyne... not a bad guess.
[CdM] YES! Mr Eden Michael Hazard it is, who incidentally is the most famous person to come from the area I live in. His club Real Madrid didn't make the final this year, and he's a born French speaker, if that helps clear up any lingering doubts. Also nobody won the extra points for his middle name, so they get rolled over. Please accept this Belgian ale and this spherical baton to kick off the next round.
Audienceometer: Lots of Chelsea songs going on.
CdM hits the back of the net!
[Bism] I was trying to play it like 'Guess Who?', and narrow things down. But CdM was far ahead of me!
CdM rises majestically, like a salmon, and if it hadn't gone into the goal, it would have been close!
I have [Tuj] in front of the microphone... Congratulations for making a game of it. I thought your build-up strategy was well thought out. Would you care to comment on the yellow card?
Well, y'know Bismarck, I thought I stuck to my game plan well, made a few key narrowings down, but all credit to CdM, he just executed his skills better on the day, he deserved to get his hands on the baton.
Look, it was a team effort. All credit to the lads. Sometimes you just get a bit of luck on the day, but in the end I think we deserved the win. Now it's just all about the next round.
Hidden textRosie, as the Chelsea fan, missed his big moment here. Oh, and I certainly think he is a good player. I am still bitter about his impressive injury-time equaliser against my team in the season before last.
Which is ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, I guess. You could make an argument for either one, but it's really a bit of both.
Does it begin with P?
I don't think my dear old Ipswich Town have ever had a Belgian player :D
Human?
A real human being, who has taken on a symbolic significance?
A mammal?
Begins with P? No.
Human? Yes?
Real human being who has taken on a symbolic significance? (*smattering of applause*) Yes, a real human being, but not a particular real human being. The "symbolic significance" part is trickier. The significance of this not-particular but real human being is indeed being defined in a symbolic way.
Mammal? See "Human?", above.
Is the fact that this person is not a particular s/he because their identity is unknown?
Is their identity unknown? (*some applause and a little nervous laughter*) This person is not a particular s/he because there is more than one of this person. In some cases their identity is known; in other cases not—and this observation is germane to the AOTC.
Superheroes?
Superheroes? No. (Real human being, remember?) But heroes? Sometimes.
The head or leader of something?
Head or Leader? Almost certainly not.
Medical workers?
Secret agents?
Medical workers? No
Secret agents? No.
Is this concept linked to a particular political outlook?
The Unknown Soldier?
Linked to particular political outlook. In principle and in general, No. But there certainly is a political link in some instances, and it's probably fair to associate those instances with (broadly speaking) a particular political outlook.
Unknown soldier? No. The fact that the identity of these individuals is sometimes known, sometimes not is perhaps an interesting feature of the AOTC, but it is not central.
Is the AOTC associated with a particular country?
The Tzadikim Nistarim?
is the concept linked to an ethnic group?
Associated with particular country? No.
Tzadikim Nistarim? (
Hidden text*googles surreptitiously*
) No.
Linked to ethnic group? No.
Trade or profession?
Trade or profession? No. That said, these people are defined (for the purpose of the AOTC) in terms of something that they do.
Do they do this role in the interests of someone else?
In the interests of someone else? Yes (*substantial applause*)
Is there a medical connection?
Do they rescue people?
Medical connection? No.
Rescuers? No.
Civil servants?
To do with organised charities?
Members of an exclusive (or secret) club?
Civil servants? No.
To do with charities? No.
Members of exclusive/secret club? No.
(To be clear, these people could be any of these things, but they are essentially irrelevant to the AOTC.)
Blood donors?
Blood donors? No.
Do musical instruments enter into this?
Anything to do with transport?
Musical instruments? (*after a moment, laughter followed by some applause*) In one very precise sense, the answer is Yes. At the same time I worry that this answer might be misleading. If you pursue this route, pay attention to your assumptions. :)
To do with transport? No.
Are these multiple s/hes akin to inventors/ideas/philosophers ... ad infinitum ... who loose the reins for others to take.
Do these people know that they are defined as the AOTC?
Did these people exist 200 years ago?
Whistle blowers?
Well, that took a turn
Philosophers or something? No.
Do they know they are so defined? Usually yes.
Did they exist 200 years ago? Presumably yes, but back then they weren't actually known as...
Whistleblowers? Yes! One flute-like baton handed back to Bismarck.
Winner's comments
Didn't manage to get it inside 20 goes, but your clues did help. The baton-flute is really something, I can get a tune out of it but it seems only to attract rats. Lots of them, too.
Right, let's try for ANIMAL again. Off you go, put the thinking caps on and try to imagine what this could be!
Old Yeller?
Mammal?
Human?
Hamster?
[Bism] Oh, shot, very well done!
John Lennon?
John Lennon?
(was of course what I meant to say)
Hidden textThe whoops! function doesn’t seem to be working for me; is anyone else having a problem with it? I’ve tried to use it on my last two posts and it didn’t work either time.
[Simons Mith] - I'm sure they might yell, and many may be old. But it isn't the dog.
[Boolbar] - I am regretting picking this topic because it's going to make these normal types of questions quite difficult to answer. But I am not going to change horses in the middle of a stream. So let me clarify: I am looking for a class or type of animal, and not a specific one. If that adds a dose of ABSTRACT, so be it.
YES, some are mammals. NO, the others aren't.
[Raak] - NOT human.
[Tuj] - Ah, at last an easy one. NOT a hamster.
Hidden textThanks. Paul Mariner would have been proud of that.

[CdM] - NO, though I can see your thinking .
Audienceometer: Chuntering and shuffling of chairs.
Mascots?
Extant?
Are they limited to z certain geographic area?
And, if so, is zee certain geographic area France?
[Simons Mith] - Mascots? NO.
[Raak] - Extant? Excellent question which will probably make this a short game. NO, based on lack of proof.
[Superman] certain geographic area? NO.
[CdM] - France? NO.
Audienceometer : Applause for Raak, followed by an outbreak of arguments.
Cryptids?
probably stealing Raak's thunder

PS, also testing Whoops! facility, and it does seem to work, although from the message I first got I thought it was failing. Perhaps the Preview interaction is different now? But anyway, I've now done multiple whoopses and they've all worked.

Aliens?
[Raak] Could well be, could well be, but that isn't the AOTC.
[Simons Mith] YES, cryptids it is. No doubt a Mith is an expert and I should have seen that coming.Take this rather oddly creepy baton and don't look behind you - just run.
Audienceometer : Massive applause and some unearthly noises at the back, causing a rush for the exits.
VEGETABLE
I should say, historically these have been vegetable. Nowadays mineral ones are also prevalent.
Are the mineral ones fossils?
[Fossils] Nuh uh.
Historically made of paper?
[Historically paper?] Nope.
Is it an item of clothing?
[clothing] Nay.
Means of recording things, like books?
[Means of recording] No again.
Are the mineral ones plastic?
A toy?
Begins with P?
[mineral=plastic] Possibly. I don't know for certain, having never encountered plastic instances, but I would assume so. So a provisional Yes.

[Toy] No.

[p] No.

Specific to certain cultures?
[culture-specific] No.
Is it a fruit?
[Fruity] Negative.
Is it historically made from a tree by-product?
[Treey] Yes.
Is there one in your house?
As usual, probably on the wrong side of the useful/fun line
[Housey] No.
Would you find it in a tree?
[Found in a tree?] Nay.
Can you buy one in a shop?
[Shoppable] Yes.
Is it portable?
[Portable] Yes
Is it smaller than a tennis ball?
[<Tennis ball?] No.
Do IKEA make a self-assembly version?
[Self assembly] No.
Is it solely decorative?
[decorative] No.
Is it designed to be sat upon?
[Sittable] No, very much not.
Is there a spoon?
[spoonfulness] Alas, no.
Is it designed to be held in one hand?
An item of furniture?
Is it found in a school?
Not in a house, not in a tree, Hey Simons, just let it be!
[single-handed] Yes!

[furniture] no.

[skool] yes.

[KagomeShuko] :-) we should have a rhyming game of this. As if the normal version wasn't hard enough.

Is the vegetable part wood?
[wood] Yes, it wood have been.
Is it used for art?
Is it used to measure things?
[Art] no.

[Metrics] Nuh uh.

Does music come into it?
I am a bit stuck on the idea of a wooden hand-held instrument used in schools for which no plastic version has ever been seen by Simons Mith. So I am asking this question because it worked last time...
Does music come out of it?
Could it typically be maneuvered through a 5cm diameter circular hole?
[music I/O] No, either way.

[5cm hole] Yes!

BTW, I did check on Amazon, didn't find any wooden ones at all any more, didn't spot any hard plastic, but I did spot some foam ones for sale. Hadn't thought of foam. Other than that the rest were all metal.
A broomstick handle?
Is it a piece of sports equipment?
[broomstick handle] No, and expunge any thoughts about Quidditch. :-)

[sports] Yes! Audience applause

A golf club?
Is it used in an Olympic sport?
So it is bigger than a tennis ball, which is 6.7cm in diameter, but can be manoeuvred through a 5cm diameter hole.
A javelin?
[CdM] I assume long'n'thin fits both.
[Golf club] No

[Olympic] Yes

[Javelin] No. Granted, they used to be wooden and are now metal, but y'can't get foam ones.

An arrow?
Hockey stick?
Is it essential for playing the sport in question?
[B] I dunno. I don't think it's obvious that a long thin thing is bigger than a spherical thing (where "long" means greater than the diameter of the sphere and "thin" means smaller than the diameter of the sphere).
[Arrow] No

[Hockey Stick] No

[Essential] After quite a lot of thought, No. It's quite important, but not as essential as, say, the ball in football.

Is it protective equipment?
[Protective] No.
Used in a team sport?
[Team] Yup.
Is it used to hit something with?
[Percussive] No.
Is it used to make a mark on something?
[Mark-making] Nope.
Is it used to poke something?
I'm feel there's a Dr. Seuss poem in here somewhere.
Does it hit things?
Does it mark things?
Does it push and poke and prod things?
No, this object does not hit.
Neither does this object mark
Does it push or poke or prod?
Sadly none of those three gets a nod.
Ski pole?
Hidden textBool's question wasn't 'uniquely used in a team sport?'
[ski pole] No.

[uniquely used] I'm not 100% sure what you mean, but the AOTC is not used in any non-team variant of the sport(s).

A cricket stump?
[Stumped] No.
Is it at least as flexible as a rope?
[Flexibility] No, it's rigid.
Can I buy something with the same name in a bakery?
Trying not to take over due to busyness.
[Bread] Yes. I hadn't thought of that foody crossover.
Is "stick" one of the words on the card?
Do you want to rethink your answer to Tuj's question about "is it designed to be held in one hand?" ?
Also avoiding taking over. :)
[sticky] No. Actually I had only put one word on the card, but you're narrowing in on the sporting variant.

[rethinking] No. The circumstances under which two hands are used are a giveaway.

And now you're all just toying with me, I think.

OK then. Is it, perchance, a Relay Handover Cylinder?
[Baton] Yes, it is.

Flouting COVID restrictions, the audience claps one-handed with their neighbours.

It's all yours, CdM, although I'm afraid I haven't got a symbolic object to hand over. Some bugger ran off with it.

All right. This is, depending on how you think of it, either ABSTRACT, or MINERAL and VEGETABLE with important ANIMAL connections.
The world?
The world? No.
Is the MV+A a physical representation of the abstract thing?
Physical representation? I think "physical incarnation" might be a better phrase. In the M&V sense, the AOTC is very definitely real. Indeed, perhaps it is a mistake to call it Abstract; I think what I really mean is that the AOTC is a human construct.
A crucifix?
Is this a universal concept?
Crucifix? No.
Universal concept? No on both counts. It's not a concept, and it's quite specific.
Is the Animal part one animal or many?
How many animals? Many.
Is it a cycle/circle/feedback loop of some kind?
The Terracotta Army?
Feedback loop? No, much more concrete than that.
Terracotta Army? No (much less interesting than that). :)
A dolls house?
A city?
They're quite concrete. Regrettably.
A motorway?
Is there a single person in charge of this thing?
Doll house? No.
City? Yes! *sustained applause*
Motorway? No.
Single person in charge? Well, it's a city. Do cities have a single person in charge of them? Depends on how you interpret "in charge", I suppose. Wikipedia does inform me that the person nominally in charge of this particular city holds an "uncommon office".
It USED to be boring before the water crisis . . .
Is it Flint, Michigan?
[KS] Flint? No. (I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence.)
If you're tired of this particular city, does that suggest you're tired of life?
Oh, say can you say?
Does this city's spelling actually look like how the name of the city is pronounced.

Cdm - It's a joke in the U.S. which isn't really true any more and I'm not sure when it changed - but at one point, Flint, MI was considered extremely boring - peole would say things like they drove through Flint, MI and saw a rock and a flower, nothing else.
Tired of Life? Again without wishing to insult KS, were that true I suspect it would have a rather high suicide rate.
Spelt as it sounds? I'd say yes.
Hidden text [KS] I lived five years of my life less than 50 miles from Flint; I am well aware of its reputation. :)
Has this city been the subject of a popular song?
Popular song? Yes -- perhaps several (although that might depend on how strictly I'm supposed to interpret the word "subject"). Googling tells me there are at least half a dozen songs with the name of this city in their titles, and many many more that include the name in the lyrics. Most of these songs I had never heard of, but some undoubtedly qualify as popular songs.
Is this city in the Eurozone?
Is it in Asia?
In the Eurozone? No.
In Asia? No.
[KS] I've only just realised that when I wrote (in reply to your question re Flint) "I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence", you quite reasonably understood "this" to mean Flint. I was actually speaking not about Flint, but the AOTC.
Begins with P?
P-initial? Sorry, no.
Noo Yoik?
South American?
New York? No.
South American? No. (*some whispering and a little laughter from the audience*)
Does this city exist today?
On the continent of North America?
Currently in existence? Yes.
North American? Yes.
St Louis?
Come on, you blues.
St Louis? No.
(Speaking of the Blues, Rosie, you missed your chance a few weeks ago when the AOTC, set by Bismarck, was a certain Mr Eden Hazard.)
Chicago?
Does this city have a name derived from Spanish?
(CdM) I've no time for Hazard - he's a deserter.
Is it South of the 40th parallel north?
Chicago? No.
Derived from Spanish? No.
South of 40? Yes.
Is it named after a person?
While I'm at it, is it the state capital of North Dakota?
Named after a person? No.
Bismarck? No. ( 46°48′30″N > 40°00′00″N)
Is it on an island?
On an island? No.
On a river?
On a river? Yes. (*applause*)
Does it host a team in one of the US' Big 4 sporting leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL)?
ABBFHLLLMNNN (not necessarily in that order)? No.
Is it innnnnnn Texas?
(and do hint if there's a more interesting way we could be hunting it!)
Is it on Route 66?
In Texas? No.
On Route 66? No.
I'm not sure what to offer in the way of hints beyond saying that there is a reason I chose this particular city; it is not just some random city in the US.
Is its name the same as that of a British city?
Philadelphia?
r/ Philadelphia / Savannah
My bad, it seems that Philadelphia does possess a sporting team.
Brit name? No. (*some audience laughter*)
Savannah? No.
Hidden textI believe that Philly is actually one of the few cities with a team in all four of the leagues Tuj mentioned. :)
Is it in a state whose name begins with a vowel?
In the title of quite a few songs, hmm.
Is it named after a geographical feature?
Initially stately vowelly? No.
Hidden textThe song route may or may not be helpful. I had heard of maybe one of the songs with the city in its title (and I had not heard of the song that is in fact most famous). The AOTC-related song that I know best names the city in its first line, but not in the title.

Named after geographical feature? I think the best answer is Yes, though I am using a broad definition of “geographical feature”. (It’s not as obviously a g.f. as, say, Little Rock, if that’s what you were thinking of.)
New Orleans.
New Orleans? No. (*Applause, and also some muttered and inconclusive discussion about whether New Orleans had already been ruled out by Radox's island question*)
The old one . . .
Is it in New Mexico?
New Mexico? No. (*a little audience laughter, not so much for the question as for the questioner*)
Hidden text[KS] Entirely friendly laughter, I promise. :)
If a wall were built between the US and Mexico, would this city be on the side closer to Canada?
It wouldn't happen to be Lake Charles, would it? The city, I mean, not the AOTC.
Closer to Canada? Yes.
Lake Charles? No. (*more applause*)
Recap
City in the US lower 48, on a river but not on an island, south of 40°N, not in a state starting with a vowel nor in New Mexico nor in Texas, does not begin with 'P', is not named after a person nor in Spanish nor a version of an existing British town, but the name is vaguely geographical and there are songs about it. It also possesses no team in any major US league of sporting mayhem, but has a specific reason for CdM to pick it.
Is it in a state that belonged to the Confederacy?
Does its name consist of two words?
[Bismarck] Excellent summary. :)
In the Confederacy? Yes.
Two-word name? Yes. (*applause*)
Is it the capital of the state?
Baton Rouge?
Don't really want it to be.
Oak Ridge?
[Software] Can't see what is the geographical idea of a red stick...
Feeling near as faded as my jeans
It is indeed the state capital of Louisiana, on the Mississippi, Baton Rouge, so whether he likes it or not, Software now has a new shiny crimson baton to replace the one that somebody apparently ran off with at the end of the last round. Garth Brooks' recording of Callin' Baton Rouge apparently reached number two on the US country charts, and there is also a Lou Reed song with the title Baton Rouge. And then, of course, there's Me and Bobby McGee, which Janis Joplin took to number one.

As for the geographical connection, I did try to give a highly qualified answer. The red stick that Baton Rouge is named after was a boundary marker, and boundaries—even those that don't follow features of physical geography—do fall into the category of "abstract geographical features". But maybe I pushed the definition a little too far, and if so I apologise. :)
Oh right, I see... also I looked it up and the mayor has a sonorous title, as you said right at the beginning.
Oh, bugger, now I'll have to think.
OK, here goes: VEGETABLE and MINERAL with possible ABSTRACT connotations.
Lord Byron's Bicycle?
Bravo to the setter and the guesser, lovely.
Vegetable wood?
Are the vegetable and mineral parts separate?
A work of art?
Does it begin with P?
Anything to do with batons?
Does it have gigantic silver wings that appear avove my head?
Too silly tired for serious questions
Is it anything to do with software?
Is the mineral metal?
Is it, perhaps, people looking at computer screens awaiting answers?
Tuj - NO
Rosie: wood? - Possibly
RTG: separate - YES
Raak: is it art? - Possibly
CdM: P? - YES!
Bool: baton? - NO
Bismark: software (are you addresing me?) - Not as far as I'm aware
SM: metal? mmmm! - Sometimes
Duj: Sorry for the delay, everyone
Is it a plastic replica of the Winged Victory of Samothrace?
(On a plinth?)
A statue?
Bigger than a toaster?
Anything to do with the sea?
Anything to do with food?
SM: Plastic thingy? - NO, not even on a plinth
Raak: Statue? - NO
CdM: Toaster benchmark? - Well, sometimes much larger
Bismarck: Maritime? - NO
Bool: Grub? - Well, again, possibly.
Is there only ever one of it at a time?
Is it vegetibles cooking in a metal pot?
Mmmm . . . aroma.
Agriculture?
Tuj: Unique? - NO
KS: Cookery? - NO
Super: Farming? - In a way, YES
A garden in a bottle?
Weather related?
A bottle in a garden?
Bonsai?
A park?
Is it a pub name?
Is it perhaps?
Does it involve a tractor?
Does it have a use for the general public?
A pumpkin patch?
Sorry for the delay
CdM: Boozy agriculture? - NO *some clapping from audience*
SM: Japanese effect? - NO *more clapping*
Superman: A park? - NO
Tuj: A Pub - NO (not in itself, although I have in fact seen a pub with this name)
Bismarck: Far to cryptic for me
KS: - mechanized? - NO
RTG: Social amenity? er.. Not exactly, on balance - NO
CdM: Halloween orientation? - NO.
Does a type of tree come into it?
Is it a seasonal event? Picking something, for example?
Is it a man-made structure?
Weather related? (Said slightly louder this time.)
Superman: arborial? not specifically - NO *smattering of excitement in audience*
Simons: Seasonal? - NO
Chalky [nice to see you :) ] : Man made? - YES - in part *a few claps*
Bool: come rain, come shine? - NO appologies for the oversight
Pot plants?
SM: Pot Plants? Oh, YES, indeed, the AOTC was "A Pot Plant" but that'll do.

* hands over the Maws indoor watering can *

A random whim has just struck me. Let's go for... MINERAL. I'm not going to worry about the connections. Let's just keep it simple.
Does it consist of one element only?
Monoelemental
No.
Is there just one of it?
Is it on or part of planet Earth?
But is it art?
An artefact?
[Singular] Yes.
[Earthly] No.
[Art] No.
[Artefact] No.
The ISS?
Has it been on or part of Earth in the past?
Within the Solar System?
[ISS] No.
[Earthly, in the past] No.
[Solar System] ...No.
The Big Bang?
[The Big Bang? Mineral?] No. I think I'd class the Big Bang as abstract, personally.
A particular galaxy?
An exoplanet?
A particular type of star?
Clarification
Just in case, I will clarify that I said no to Rosie's 'artefact' query because I took 'artefact' to mean a /historical/ object.

[galaxy] No.
[eoplanet] No.
[star] No.

Dark matter?
A Black Hole?
A named constellation?
Has it only figured in a fictional work?
[Dark Matter] No
[Black Hole] No
[Constellation] No
[Fictional] YES
Science fiction?
[SF] YES
Does it appear in the works of Iain M. Banks?
Did it first appear in print?
The monolith in 2001 a space Odyssey?
The spaceship Enterprise?
[Banks] Y-

Oh wait. Superman has employed his X-ray vision and jumped straight to the answer. Probably in a single bound. It was the Enterprise.

Turns out, this is a repeat, but from a very long time ago. I suppose I could have picked something a little trickier, like the Heart of Gold or the Liberator.

Let me just polish up this Infiniite Improbability Baton, and hand it over before it turns into a sperm whale or something.
Oh, a bowl of petunias...
It seemed only logical. So on with the next game.
The laser display is being wiped as we speak, and the subject is ABSTRACT. Here is the mystery voice for those at home (apologies for the absence of subtitles):
Is it related to sound?
A still life painting?
An imaginary baton?
A novel?
Something mathematical?
Lust?
[Tuj] - No, unless you speak it out loud.
[Dujon] - No.
[Boolbar] - No.
[Software] - No, although the expression has been used in the titles of novels.
[SimonsMith] - No.
[Rosie] - No, although if you do something about it, a vague link may appear.
Does it begin with P?
Post-coital tristesse?
Does the AOTC contain the word "birth"?
A well known phrase or saying?
Is there more than one word in the AOTC?
Improbability?
Connected to emotions?
Is it a human construct?
Old Times?
The existence of Superman?
[Tuj] No. One does make an appearance.
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Softers] No.
[Bism] No. Some desultory applause.
[Radox] No. Some more desultory applause.
[Simons] On balance, no.
[CdM] No, though philosophers may demur.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie #2] No.
A scientific concept?
[Raak] No.
Is mathematics involved?
Medical?
Luck-related - e.g. gambling?
Some sort of pseudo science?
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Simons] No.
[Software] No.
That all denied, it is possible to relate all of the propositions made to the word, as in a medical AOTC, etc. But I still hold to NO.
An emergency?
The cold?
A compilation?
Is it to do with politics?
Anticipation?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Radox] Well now, not as I imagined it, but while checking I found several countries have a ministry for it.
[Chalky] No.
To do with food?
Silly Walks?
Religion?
Is the AOTC hyphenated?
[Bism] No.
[Raak] Hopefully no country has that ministry. No.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
A sensation?
'Development'?
A Surprise?
Privacy?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] The Zoom audience suddenly wake up and applaud. No.
[Chalky] isn’t everything? Some more Zooming.
[Bism] No.
Unexpected?
Productivity/Production?
Competition?
That's got a 'p' in it
[Chalky] vide supra, "surprise"
[Simons 1] Audience posts a couple of comments. No.
[Simons 2] Audience definitely all awake, in so far as sixty-one thumbnails are in any way visible on Zoom. No.
Related to economics?
Pertaining to LMIC?
Imports / Exports ?
[CdM] Yes, definitely.
[Chalky] No. Not specifically
[Simons] Could well be.
Zoom getting quite animated, though I really don’t want to know what three up and eight across is doing.
Transport?
The bank rate?
Income tax?
Money?
Getting close?
[Simons] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.

Audience all seem to have switched off their microphones again.
It's related to economics, but it's not economics, it's like development but it isn't development. There is one word and one 'p' in the word and you find government departments named after it. The rest can be summed up as "No."
Whoops. [Raak] No.
Sport?
Oops
*hurriedly turns off video*
Monopolies?
Anything to do with festivities?
Corporations? Companies?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] No, though thay may fall under the responsibility of the said department.
[Radox] No.
[Simons] Very much to do with such things, but a more general term is needed. No.
The economy?
Employment?
Unemployment?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] No.
[CdM] No.
All worthy guesses but all circling round the plug hole. A little more ...oomph... is needed. The Zoom-ers are practising singing in chorus, the effect is terrible.
The National Debt?
Enterprise?
I'm scraping the government department-speak barrel so hard I'm getting splinters. There's got to be something else in here
[Raak] No.
[Simons] Yes! It is! You are! Correct! Take this faintly glowing baton into the new year with a beaming smile on your face! And don't forget to leave some deathless words in conclusion for the Zoom.
VEGETABLE
'nother vegetable one.

[Deathless words for Zoom: arpeggio, manganese, pantaloon and clamp.]

Is it unique?
Is it edible?
Is it a vegetable?
Wooden?
Pomegranate?
Beginning with "P"?
Fictional?
Is it larger than a toaster?
[Unique] In the sense I intended, yes
[Edible] No
[A vegetable] No
[Wooden] No
[Pomegranate] Nuh uh
[Pegetable] No
[Fictional] Ironically, no.
[>Toaster] No.
Poisonous?
Is it in a museum?
Does it belong to one particular person?
Is it like coffee a substrate for a drinkable decoction?
Is it a fruit?
Is it a plant?
[Poisonous] No
[Museum] No
[Single owner] No
[Drinkable substrate] No
[Fruity] No
[Planty] No
Is it currently alive?
Is it in Europe?
Is it art?
Parasitic?
[alive] No
[In Europe] Yes
[art] No
[parasitic] No
This game is a lot harder if you're strict about your Yes/Nos.
Is it a fungus?
Coal?
A small dead european thing?
Did this exist in the year 1900?
Brussels sprout?
A punt from just outside my own penalty-area.
Is it green in colour?
Does it have writing on it?
[fungoid] No
[coal] No
[S.D.E.T.] No
[1900] No
[Sprout] No
[Green] No
[Writing] Yes
Are the words a work of fiction?
Is it a physical copy of a book?
Does it belong to you?
An inscription ... on to parchment of some sort?
Written by one specific person?
I've never felt so useful! That'll wear off.
Phew, suddenly homing in from miles away
[fiction] yes
[physical] yes
[mine] no
[inscription] no
[one author] yes
1984?
Is it in on public display?
Written last century?
Does it have pictures?
[1984] No
[Display] No
[20C] Yes
[Pictures] No
Is the following a correct (not necessarily exhaustive) summary of what we have learned? We are seeking to identify a single specific physical copy of a not-green less-than-toaster-sized book that is a single-authored work of 20th century fiction without pictures, is located in Europe, is not on public display or in a museum, would not be classified as art, is not 1984, does not begin with P, and—and this is the most puzzling bit—does not have a single owner.
And a follow-up question on the puzzling bit: is the ownership of this book none the less clearly defined?
(For example, owned by a household or an institution such as a school or library)
Is it a forgery?
Is it poetry?
Written in English?
Is it hidden away because of its dangerous content?
[shopping list] No. Pretty good summary, but not perfect.
[clearly-defined owner] No.
[forgery] No.
[poetry] No.
[English] Yes.
[dangerous] No.
Are there multiple copies of this book?
Does it have the word 'The' in the title?
[multiple copies] Yes.
[The] Yes.
Is this a work of reference?
Biographical?
[Reference, Biographical] No, fiction.
Is the author still alive?
Was it written by an American person?
[living author] No
[American] Yes
Does the book contain a collection of stories?
The stories of O. Henry?
Is it a single physical copy of a book?
Just trying to work out where I am confused.
[Collection] No
[Oh, Enry] No
[single physical] Yes. I'll break my yes-no rule and say that it's not a specific physical copy, just any old physical copy. This hypothetical copy happens to be in Europe.
Great Gatsby?
[GG] Yes!
That's right, a copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's 30,000,000-seller. Came out of US copyright at the start of the year.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Lucky guess there, I feel. So try your luck on the next subject which is ANIMAL.
Is it a blue footed booby?
Human?
Is it unique?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is it a red footed booby?
Is it extinct?
[Boolbar] Nay.
[Chalky] Nay.
[Tuj] Nay.
[Bismarck] Yea.
[Simons Mith] see above, Boolbar.
[Superman] Nay.
Is it alive?
Is it found in a zoo?
[Raak] Nay, not in any conventional sense.
[Tuj] Yea.
Is it tiger food?
Is it an artefact made from animal material?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
Is it something animals grow and/or shed?
Is it a dead horse?
Is it a part of an animal?
Is it an animal product?
Does it begin with P?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[CdM] Neigh.
Hidden textYou didn't see that coming, did you?

[Boolbar] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
[Tuj] Hooray. One of the words does and it's the most important one.
Is it an apex predator?
Is it fictional?
Wondering how an animal in a zoo can be not dead yet not alive "in any conventional sense".
[Simons Mith] Nay, not in real life.
[Raak] Yea.
Is this an individual, named animal?
Is it something like an empty cage containing a 'water otter' or a drop bear or something?
Or is it something like a dog masquerading as a lion or similar?
Has it four legs?
A cartoon character?
[Raak] Nay.
[Simons Mith] Nay to both.
[Tuj] Nay.
[Boolbar] Hooray! Not quite a Yea, though.
Is it a pushmi-pullyu?
Does it speak for the trees?
Is it a collection of cartoon characters?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
[Bismarck] Yea.
Is it a mascot?
Are a tiger and a six-year-old involved?
Pingus?
Do they live in a zoo?
I think they come from China . . .
Is one of the words pandas?
[Raak] Nay.
[Dujon] Nay.
[Simons Mith] Pingus: Hooray ! but Nay. Zoolife: Yea!
[KagomeShuko] Nay²
Is Dr. Doolittle involved?
[Raak] Nay.
Related to the Harry Potter franchise?
Is a lion involved?
Are these animals movie stars?
[Raak] Nay.
[Boolbar] The zoo has a lion which has been known to interact with the AOTC, but that is not what the AOTC refers to. Nay.
[Simons Mith] Yea.
Related to a London Tube station?
P-p-p-p-latypus?
[Raak] Nay.
[KagomeShuko] N-n-n-nay.
Is it a bird?
Are rabbits involved?
Are the animals found in the farmyard?
[Raak] Yea. Or Nay if I were feeling pernickety, as we've already established there's more than one of them.
[Boolbar] Nay.
[Bismarck] Nay.
Did they appear in the film “Creature Comforts”?
[Raak] As far as I can work out, Nay. Certainly not in the pilot and not one of the regular creatures.
Do these animals live in the water?
Perhaps something fishy is going on here.
Penguins?
So we still don't know what these animals are?
Parasites?
Pelicans?
I've been struggling to think of non-four-legged animals beginning with P
Psloths?
(Psee what I mean?)
Got whiskers?
[KS] Nay.
[Boolbar] Yea. And Hooray!
[Chalky] Nay.
[SM] Nay, and Pnay.
[Tuj] Nay.
Could it be 3-2-1 Penguins?
Is it the penguins from the Madagascar films?
C'mon everyone, let's endgame.
The penguin waiters from Mary Poppins?
Do you p-p-pick up one?
Smile and wave, smile and wave.
[Tuj] Hooray! Hooray! Yea, it is indeed the group of penguins from the Madagascar films. Take this stick that might just be dangerous and leave some deathless words for the assembly.
The rest - Nay. Special mention though to KagomeShuko and Simons Mith who were not far behind/ahead.
[RTG] Ta! I suspect there may have needed to be some abstract in the introduction. Anyway!
MINERAL
Natural as opposed to man made?
Is there just one of it?
A positive start
[Dujon] Yes!
[Raak] Yes!
Is it the Blarney Stone?
Rock?
Fictional?
The Ever Given?
[KS] No!
[Rosie] Yes!
[Bool] No!
[Raak] No!
A mountain?
In the UK?
In the middle of Australia?
Is it found outdoors?
[Raak] No!
[Rosie] No!
[SM] No!
[Bool] Yes!
Is it in (or under) the sea?
Not on (or in) planet Earth?
[Raak] No!
[Bool] Yes! Extra-terrestrial!
An asteroid?
Oo! Mwa! Mwa! ?
[Rosie] No!
[Raak] *makes confused face, looks for option to turn on subtitles*
'Oumuamua?
Thanks, it defied my internet search attempts!
[Rs] No!
On Mars?
A dwarf planet?
(Tuj) Do you have to shout?
Closer to Earth than Voyager 1?
[SM] No!
[Rosie] Yes! and No!, but I've started so I'll finish
[Bool] Yes! There's an ambiguity there I'm choosing not to think about...
Ceres?
The Oordt Cloud?
[Rosie] No.
[Bism] Um, no.
Does it begin with a 'P'? ;)
[Dujon] No, not Pluto :D
Is it a cubewano?
A meteorite?
Research, research...
[SM] No!
[Rosie] No!
If it wasn't clear, the answer to Rosie's question "A dwarf planet?" was "Yes!" – the "No!" was to whether I had to shout.
Pallas?
Come on da Palace.
[Rosie] No! (not a P-)
Should
Should I be silly enough to read this name backwards would it bring up images of an earthly mountain range?
Sorry about the stutter.
Is it a cubewano?
Is it a Kuiper Belt object?
[Duj] Um... ah! No! Not Sedna :D
[Bool] Still no.
[Rosie] No!
One of Haumea, Gonggong, or Eris?
Three strikes...
[Raak] Yes!
Those three are all Kuiper Belt objects.
Wikipedia calls them trans-Neptunian, while calling some other bodies KBOs, so I think there is a distinction being made.
Raak's found the distinction I'd found. I should've known there'd be debatable categorisations when I picked the AOC, alas!
Gonggong?
Strike one...
[Rr] Nono!
Haumea?
Strike two...
[Bool] No!
Eris?
Gotta be.
Home run
[Rosie] YES!
Eris it is, named for the Greek goddess of strife and discord. A frozen methane baton is yours, sir!
Fear not, the baton will be stored in liquid nitrogen until such time . . . . . .
And the next object is

ABSTRACT

Anarcho-syndicalism?
That moment you realise you can't remember what you went upstairs for?
(Chalky) No. I thought we'd done that.
(Boolbar) Damned cheek! Not that.
related to entertainment?
Would it exist if human beings didn't?
Just to wrap up the previous round, it's very disconcerting to set a mystery and have someone else start another game with the answer as the winning move!
(Simons) NOT related to entertainment.
(Tuj) Probably, though I have little insight into the minds of animals.
Is it a feeling?
Is the AOTC a single word?
(Raak) A feeling? NO, not really.
(Tuj) YES, a single word.
Is it a theory?
Does it rely on sight?
[forgetfulness] I was thinking of myself to be honest.
is it a cognitive ability, such as counting?
(Chalky) NO, not a theory.
(Boolbar) NO, not specifically.
(SM) NO, I wouldn't call it an ability.
(Raak) more info Could arise from a feeling.
An action?
Is it a Deadly Sin?
(Raak) NO, not an action.
(Tuj)In effect, YES.
Generally considered to be a psychiatric disorder?
Jealousy?
(Raak) NO, not normally considered a psychiatric disorder.
(SM) NO, not jealousy.
Is it imagination?
Ennui?
(KagomeShuko) Imagination? NO.
(Boolbar) Ennui? NO, wrong language for one thing.
Schadenfreude?
(Raak) Good guess, but wrong.
Late entry - Greed?
Is it a positive/beneficial trait?
(Bismarck) NOT greed though this may be one of the consequences.
(SM) Positive/beneficial? Most definitely NOT.
Does it begin with P?
Poverty?
Spite?
(Tuj, and therefore Raak) NO.
(SM) NOT spite.
Avarice?
Being a chav?
(Bismarck) Avarice? NO.
(Raak) Being a chav? Not a Sin, unfortunately, so NO.
So is it a German word?
Angst?
Ofermod?
(Tuj) NO, not German. (Dim y Gymraeg chwaith.)
(Raak I) vide supra
(Raak II) Not quite the word. *appreciative applause from a well-read audience*
Well if it's not Swedish death metal is it some other musical form?
That's what I found when I looked it up
Hubris?
Raak has it. HUBRIS it is. Now don't get cocky, mate.
I withdraw the baton from its liquid nitrogen bath and carefully hand it to you. Wear all sorts of PPE, esp. gloves.
The next is ANIMAL with MINERAL connections.
A mollusc?
Rock Lobster?
Here comes a bikini whale!
Is it unique?
[Ros,Raa] Well played.
[SM] A nice literal interpretation of mineral connections, but not a mollusc.
[B] Not Rick Lobster (in any meaning of the phrase)
[T] Not unique.
BTW, there are also VEGETABLE connections, but they seemed less salient than the MINERAl ones when I set this.
[B] Nor Rock Lobster.
An egg?
[R] Not an egg.
A mole?
Is the animal edible?
[SM] not a mole.
[R] *laughter in the audience* Not edible. At least, not customarily.
Is it an entire living animal?
[SM] If I were being curmudgeonishly strict, I'd say no. It's many entire etc.
Is it that famous relative of the elephant, the Rock Hyrax?
[RtG] Not a rock hyrax.
Found in the sea?
[B] I'm sure some of them could be, from time to time, but it's not a characteristic feature.
Are they mountain/cliff critters?
[SM] No association with mountains and cliffs.
Human?
[C] The audience heaves a sigh of relief at the first step of progress. Human.
Rock stars?
Are any of these humans still alive?
[SM] Not trolls singing music with rocks in.
[B] Some are alive.
Knights in shining armour?
Does sport come into it?
Blaenau Ffestiniog quarrymen?
[SM] Nor in white satin neither.
[B] Sport can come into it, but not primarily.
[R] Not quarrymen.
Do these humans work with the minerals referenced?
[B] Yes, they work with the minerals.
Sculptors?
[SM] Not as closely as that.
Does it begin with P?
A navvy?
[T] Not only does it not begin with a P, it does not end with a P, nor is there a P in the middle.
[R] Not that closely either.
Geologists?
[B] Not geologists.
Do these people share a nationality?
Are these people skilled?
[T] Not compatriots.
[R] The audience nods at another small step in the right direction. These people are indeed skilled.
Are they miners?
Not to be confused with minors, or even minor miners . . . .
Is the mineral metal?
[KS] Not min*rs.
[R] It can be metal.
Does building come into it?
[B] The audience swoons in ecstasy. Building comes into it! Indeed it does!
I was going to say bricklayers, even before the last clue. Bricklayers?
See? I said it.
Is it, therefore, since building comes into it, though without wanting to take a leap in the dark, builders?
[SM] Not bricklayers.
[B] Not builders.
Architects?
Are they celebrated in song?
I'm thinking of a ditty by Flanders and Swann in particular.
I don't know if F&S have ever celebrated architects, but Rosie has the answer: An Architect. Have this 1:1 scale model of the Burj Khalifa.
Precognition?
Cheers, Raak. I'll put it in the garage until I find a place for it.

Now, the next object is ABSTRACT

An HTML <hr> tag?
A feeling?
A well known phrase or saying?
Related to music?
(Dujon) Clever clogs :-). Sorry, NO.
(KagomeShuko) NO, not a feeling.
(Software) NO, not a well-known phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Music? NO. Nor steam engines or Wales.
Artistic?
(Raak) Artistic? NO.*audience cackles maliciously*
Vandalism?
(Raak) I smile, but NO.
Does it begin with P?
Political?
(Tuj) NO, does not begin with a P.
(Boolbar) Political? NO.
It is something one can look at?
(Raak) NO, not currently.
An eclipse?
the Reformation?
(Simons Mith) Nice, but NO.
(Raak) NO, nothing so fundamental.
The Olympic flame?
(Simons Mith) NO, not the Olympic Flame.
Is this extra-terrestrial?
(Duj) Extra-terrestrial? NO, not at all.
Weather-related?
(Chalky) Weather-related? NO.
Is it an event happening at intervals?
(Simons Mith) Well, if it existed, YES
Is it fictional?
(Raak) In a literal sense YES, in most other senses NO.
A month of Sundays?
(Software) Nice try but NO.
A paradox?
A real thing named after something fictional?
(Bismarck) NOT a paradox.
(Raak) NO, not that.
Something to do with the end of the world as we know it ?
Is it elevenses?
The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul?
By saying that this subject is something that we can't look at currently, are you referring to the effects of the coronavirus in that statement?
(Dujon) Some would say that, but seriously, NO.
(KS) NO, nothing as domestic as that.
(SM)NO, far less poetic.
(RtheG) No, COVID is not the reason we can't see it.
Is it something we hear rather than see?
(Chalky) Seen rather than heard? NEITHER. In fact, in an important sense it doesn't exist.
Halloween?
(SM) Nice, but alas NO.
The Future?
A type of dream?
(Chalky) The future? Not the AOTC but you never know.
(Dujon) A type of dream? For the first time there's a non-NO answer, which in this case is COULD BE.
Imagination?
(Superman) NO, not imagination.
A prophecy?
(SM) NO, not a prophecy. Maybe I should add the the AOTC does not now actually exist.
Did the AOTC exist at some point in the year 1900?
(Boolbar) Around in 1900? NO. *some suppressed audience giggles*
Tomorrow?
(Softers) NO, not tomorrow.
Can it be expected to exist in the future?
Déjà Vu ?
(Raak) I would say YES, but others with more knowledge may disagree.
(Chalky) NON, c'est pas ça.
Is it next week, next month, next year?
(KS) NO, none of those.
Does this mark the end of something?
(RtheG) End of something? NO.
Is it the foundation of the United Federation of Planets?
(SM) NO, nothing as benign as that.
A legend?
We had a pink moon the other day, so is it a blue moon? If not, is this something astronomical?
(Raak) NO, not a legend.
(Bismarck) NO, nothing astronomical, so not a blue moon. Not shy blue or navy blue.
Er, sky blue, that is. Not royal blue, either.
The Impossible?
(Chalky) The impossible? NO.
Is the AOTC a single word?
(Tuj) Single word? NO. The AOTC is four words, one of which is the definite article.
Is the third word "of"?
(Raak) Third word "of"? NO.
End Of The Game?
Are the middle two words "of the"?
(Raak) Middle two words "of the"? NO. There is no "of" in it.
All The King's Horses?
Is it related to the Morniverse?
The sky?
(Raak) All the King's Horses? NO. None of 'em.
(Tuj) Related to the Morniverse? NO.
(Superman) The sky? NO. Remember the AOTC does not now exist in any true sense.
The European Super League?
Is it the next something or other?
The next big thing?
Underpinning Boolbar
(Boolbar & Softers) Alas, too late and wrong anyway because CDM, with a flash of inspiration and a huge wodge of cash, has the answer. It's the European Super League. "Let it fall among the weeds." (John Skelton ca. 1550).
A lurker's victory coming out of the blue with no preparation or planning. Seems about right.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
But is it art?
Heraldry?
Animal human?
A well known phrase or saying?
Is it Schoedinger's cat?
Bigger than an imaginary toaster?
Argh! I forgot about this; sorry.
Art? No.
Heraldry? No.
Animal connection human? Yes
A well known phrase or saying? Um. I guess it is a well known phrase, but it is not an aphorism or anything of that kind.
Sch(r)ödinger's Cat? *opens box to check* No. *looks in box again* Wait. Why is there nothing but HOPE left inside?
Bigger than imaginary toaster? Well, it definitely could be very big. But it is really incommensurable with a toaster, imaginary or not.
Is it a human invention?
Personal space?
A sense of humour?
Is it Lionheart or Heart of a Lion? playing my Wild-Guess card
To do with emotion?
And now some answers that I could have sworn I posted have disappeared; apologies again.

Human invention? More of a creation than an invention, but I will go with Yes.
Personal space? No.
Sense of humour? No.
Lions, Hearts? No.
To do with emotion? No.
Lebensraum?
Sorry, my German is pretty crap.
Mankind?
Is the AOTC a single word?
Might one do this upon a star?
Is it the shipping forecast?
Do computers play a part?
That's twice I have posted some answers from my phone and they haven't shown up. Not sure what is going on; sorry
Lebensraum? No.
Mankind? No.
Single word answer? No.
The act of being instantaneously incinerated? No.
Shipping Forecast? No.
Computer-related? Well, these days, pretty much everything is computer-related, and the AOTC is no exception. But since the AOTC also predates computers, I think the answer has to be No.
Did it arise before the Renaissance?
Pre-Renaissance? No. (I suppose there might have been some related concept prior to that time but the best answer is clearly No. Also, please don't now ask me a whole bunch of questions in an attempt to date the AOTC, since I am unable to give a clear answer. I can tell you that the google ngram viewer suggests that the phrase on the card seems to have started coming into significant use in the mid 1800s.)
Also, I guess I should clarify that the connection of the AOTC to computers is pretty tangential. I probably should just have said a simple No.
To do with economics?
To do with economics? No. (Except very tangentially blahblahblah.)
Is it associated with a particular geographic location?
Particular geographic location? Good question! In principle, no, and the AOTC has been relevant in various places in the past and in the present. But it's fair to say that, recently, it has a strong association with a particularly geographic location. So I'm going with Yes.
Hidden textAnd what does recently mean, you might ask? Well, it means both in the last couple of decades and in the last year in particular.
Anything to do with health?
Anything to do with politics?
Does it begin with P?
Health-related? No.
To do with politics? Yes. *sustained applause*
Begins with P? I'll tell you for free that there are three words on the card and the first is the definite article. One of the others does begin with P.
Is the word which starts with a P "party"?
The Monster Raving Loony Party?
According to the MRLP, their moniker consists of three words.
P = Party? No.
MRLP? No.
Does the P stand for 'principle'?
Probably oughtn't be encouraging this line of attack...
Principle? No. Nor Principal, in case that was going to be the next question.
Is it a lying buffoon?
Lying Buffoon? No.
The Industrial Revolution?
Is the P-word position?
The Pindustrial Prevolution? No.
Position? No.
Is the P word Philosophy?
Or even Parliament?
Philosophy? No.
Parliament? No.
For free I will tell you that the P word is not particularly connected to politics in and of itself. It is the other word that has a clearer political connection.
Is the P word pandemic?
Pandemic? No. Tuj's observation is probably a good one. There are a lot of words beginning with "P" in the dictionary.
Anything to do with land borders?
P-word proposition?
Border-related? No.
Propositional? No.
Is it to do with a war?
War-related? No.
Has it had a strong association with the USA in the last year?
Is the definite article the first word?
Is it directly related to voting?
Typical. You wait weeks for a Yes, and then three show up at once.
Strong association with USA in last year? Yes. *applause*
Definite article = first word? Yes.
Related to voting? Yes. *rapturous applause, where the rapture is definitely partly born of relief*
Is it a political position, such as Speaker?
The Trump Presidency...
About the one thing I didn't want to be reminded of. Hope it's wrong.
Political position? No.
Trump presidency? No.
Hidden text"...the phrase on the card seems to have started coming into significant use in the mid 1800s."
Is it 'The voting public,' or something along those lines?
Voting Public? *sustained applause* No.
Something along those lines? Yes. It is more of an established phrase than "voting public", though.
The hoi polloi?
Hoi Polloi? No.
Democratic Party?
Democratic Party? No. (P = Party has already been ruled out.)
Is 'Primaries' one of the words
Primaries? No. Also, the P word is not "photosynthesis", "parrot", "predestined", or "pickpocket". As I said before, the P word is not particularly connected to politics as such, so I don't think you will find this route profitable. Which is also not the P word.
Is it statistical?
Is it a group of people who share a particular characteristic?
Aware this may be too vague or broad to answer well, in which case so be it.
Is it statistical? The most technically correct answer is Yes, but I worry that this answer could end up being misleading. *applause*
Group sharing a characteristic? I am going to go with Yes (and *substantial applause*,) with the caveat/reminder that the AOTC is Abstract, not Animal.
Further clarification
The AOTC is not a group as such. But it stems directly from a group who share a characteristic.
Is it the popular vote?
Maybe my close guess was even closer than I thought it was. And I'm stumped for anything else. I keep thinking of things where the p word has the political connotations.
Do the words that aren't the definite article rhyme?
Stalling for time while someone comes up with a better approach...
Do they rhyme? No, because Popular does not rhyme with Vote. The Electoral College awards Simons the baton despite the fact that Tuj received more applause.
Me again? All right...
These things are VEGETABLE.
Are they edible to humans?
Is it unique?
[SM,CdM] Good show!
Something made of wood?
Are they used in the playing of a game?
[Edible] Yes.
[Unique] No.
[Wooden] No.
[Gameable] No.
Is that a record? A yes for the first ever question?
Well, they begin with P
Potatoes?
Comprising more than one ingredient?
[SM] Last happened half a dozen rounds ago
[Spuds] No
[Multi-ingrediented] Yes
Is it a dish? (Culinary, not ceramic.)
[Dishy] No.
Bouquet Garni?
Does it contain tomato?
[Bouquet and tomato] No and no.
Is it customarily eaten as part of a meal?
Is it a fruit?
[Meal, Fruit] No and no.
Although edible, is this not normally eaten?
A flower?
[not normally eaten, flower] No and no.
Medication?
Are the components uncooked?
[Medicinal, uncooked] No and no
Does it begin with P?
Does it include peas?
[Ps and peas] No and no.
Muesli?
Contains legumes?
[Legumes, muesli] No and no.
Is this normally eaten?
Not unclarifying the double negative
[Normally eaten] Yes. :-)
Eaten raw?
Is it drinkable?
[raw, drinkable] Nope and nuh-uh.
Does it include potato?
Cooked but among many "no"s, not a dish, nor customarily part of a meal... hmm.
Any nuts in it?
[Spuds, nuts] Nay and no.
Is it used to feed animals?
[Animal food] A clever twist, but no.
A biscuit?
Is there fish in it?
[Biscuits, fish] No twice more.
Does it contain sugar?
[Sugar] Oh yes.
Is it ornamental?
Cake like?
Fried?
[Ornamental, cake-like, fried] Nay, no, and nuh-uh.
Are oats in it?
Primarily eaten by animals?
[Oats, animals] No and no again
Does it contain cocoa butter?
Any rice in it?
Is it pulp for paper?
I cooked lots of that for my fourth grade science project.
[Cocoa, rice, pulp] A full set of nopes.
Does it come in a variety of colours?
Is it usually eaten cold?
[Colours] Yes

[Cold] Yes

Salad?
[Salad] Back to no again. Your processes of elimination are being super thorough this time.
Is it associated with a particular location?
Is yeast needed?
Locational, yeasty] Nuh-uh and nope.
Gaspacho?
Would most of us be able to find it for sale in our local supermarket?
[Gazpacho, supermarket] No and no.
Candy floss?
Can you drink it?
Is it mainly composed of sugar?
[Floss, drinkable] No and no

[Sugar] Yes. Audience applauds in relief

Rock?
[Rock] No. We did that one, not too long ago.
Might you buy this at a funfair?
[funfair] No, I don't think so. I'm not sure though. On balance let's play safe and stick with 'No.'
Recap
Edible, cooked, ingredient, not to be found in a supermarket or funfair, mostly composed of sugar, and not anything else you can think of.
Sugar cane?
Sugar Beet?
A sugar basket?
[Sugar*] All no, but Bismark's summary gets a weak smattering. Although I'm not sure what you mean by 'and not anything else you think of'. I can't relate that to any of the questions or my answers.
Soda syrup? I don't know the culture of these games well enough yet to say whether you'd say no to drinkable in this case. I don't think you can drink the syrups for cola, etc. by themselves.
[Soda syrup] No. 'Drinkable' was asked earlier and I don't think I'd have answered yes for that. It's like, shampoo. Technically you could gulp it down, but it's still a no. TBH I shudder to think what the concentrated syrups would taste like.
Mint flavoured?
[Minty] Yes. I had to check, but it seems that's a rarer option.
The filling of liqueur chocolates?
[Liqueur filling] No, getting that specific would have been unsporting. :-)
Corn syrup?
As used in almost everything :(.
[Corn syrup] No, not used in this, apparently.
Was this invented since 1900?
[Post 1900] No, a bit older, I think. I thought it was a firm no, but I'm struggling to confirm.
Can for sure say 'invented more than a century ago'.
A boiled sweet?
[Boiled sweet] No. Audience stirs, and there's some claps
Is it a viscous substance, like honey or treacle?
Sherbet?
[vicious sherbert] No and no, but the audience remains alert
Mat Mystery
[Mat] BTW, your surname's not Lambert is it? I knew a 'Matt' who preferred to be 'Mat' and it stuck in my head these many years
A sugar loaf?
[Sugar loaf] No. Cool idea, but no. You know, I knew about the mountain, never once thought about where it got its name.
Are these normally bought in packets containing different colours and flavours?
The problem with all this is I can't see what in this line is not available in a supermarket. I can get sweets and molasses and Mars bars for deep-frying in my local supermarket. So: is it a sugar chair, like those used in the movies to shatter over someone's head?
[Packets] No...? Yees...? I suspect that's too close to call nowadays. Nevertheless, solid clappage occurs

[Sugar chair] No.

[Supermarkets] Supermarkets may be pretty comprehensive, but they don't sell everything. I'd only expect this to show up in the biggest supermarkets (and the right specialist shops), so when asked about 'normal' supermarkets I said no. I don't think Twickenham Waitrose has 'em, for example, and that's a good-sized shop. But for Kingston Waitrose, which is quite a bit larger, I reckon the balance tips. You all need to tell me the precise square footage of your nearest supermarket, then I'll redo the calculations. :-)

[SM's Mat Mystery] No, not Lambert. Besides, my government name is neither Mat nor Matt.
Are they mostly used for commercial purposes? The supermarket thing had me believing it was some industrial ingredient only used in factories, so let's tease that one out if we can.
Would some type of restaurant use this?
Some type of pastille?
Opal fruits?
My favourite...
Is it medicinal?
I thought of Fisherman's Friends a while ago, but the dating doesn't fit.
[Commercial] Yes. At least in the sense I think you mean. They're things people can buy, but unusual enough that only a larger-than average supermarket would stock 'em.
[Restaurants] No.
[Pastilles] No.
[They're starburst now, bah] No.
[Medicinal] No.
Used to decorate cakes?
Correction
Sorry, rereading Mat's query, I think I ought to change that to a No. Overlooked the word 'purposes'. This isn't, e.g. catering supplies, it's an ordinary thing bought for or by its end-user.
Dragees?
[Cake decor, dragees] No and no.
Do they typically come individually wrapped?
[Individually wrapped] No.
Are they spherical?
[Spherical] Yes! Strong applause
Are they more than 1cm in diameter?
[Diametrics] Yes! More applauses, possibly even whoops
More than 2 inches?
Gobstoppers?
standing on the shoulders of giants
A winner at last
[Gobstoppers] Yes! Gobstoppers is the AOTC. Audience collapses in relief, and they're probably not alone By Jove you had to work hard for that one. I was genuinely surprised that no-one thought to ask 'Sweets' weeks ago.
I think a lot of us were focused in on sweets for a long time, even if we never asked the question specifically. (That was my focus of attention ever since your reply when I asked if sugar was an ingredient.) The "no" to boiled sweets, though undoubtedly a correct answer, may have ended up taking us away from the right line of thinking.

MINERAL
Marbles?
Unique?
Metallic?
Marbles? No.
Hidden text''Unlike the ones from the book and the films, where Willy Wonka says you would break your teeth if you tried to chew a gobstopper, the Nestle produced gobstoppers are chewable once sucked long enough, and unlike their fictional counterparts they are not everlasting.'' Remarkably, that does not have a [citation needed].

Unique? Yes.
Metallic? Yes. *some muttering and head-shaking in the audience*
Is it found on planet Earth?
Does it weigh more than a million tons?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
Is it a small blob of neutron star matter?
(Just on the off chance that the answers to the previous two are both yes.)
Neutron Blob. The latest addition to the Mornington Crescent Cinematic Universe
On Earth? Yes.
> 1012g? Yes.
< toaster? No.
Neutron Blob? No.
The totality of British steam locomotives in 1960?
About 1.2 million tons give or take.
Ancient locomass? I know you'll find this hard to believe, Rosie, but No.
The Earth's core?
Human made?
Does it begin with P?
Earth's core? No. *some applause*
Human made? No.
Begin with P? No.
Is it the reserves of something?
Is it visible at the surface of the Earth?
Reserves? No.
Visible at the surface of the Earth? Yes.
Man-made?
Iron ore?
A specialised building?
Man-made? No.
Iron ore? No.
Specialised building? No.
A mountain?
Is it thinly spread all over the planet?
All the uranium in the oceans?
Is the metal in elemental form?
Mountain? Yes.
Thinly spread? No.
Damp and salty U? No.
Metal in elemental form? I am pretty sure the answer is Yes, though I know Rosie is a chemistry expert, while chemistry has never been my strong suit, so apologies in advance if I got this wrong.
(CdM) I meant metal as metal rather than chemically combined as in an ore, or rust even.
Does it begin with an E?
[Rosie] *nods* You can tell me at the end of the round whether I was right or not. :)
Begins with an E? No.
Is it plated?
Is the metal metaphorical?
Is it in a single nation?
Plated? No.
Metaphorical? No.
In a single nation? Yes.
Is it in Europe?
Is the metal copper?
In Europe? Yes.
Copper? No.
Does the metal end in 'um'?
As so many of them do
Does the name of this mountain include the name of a metal?
End in um? Yes. And also No. Check your assumptions.
Name include name of a metal? No.
A little more research also suggests to me that the correct answer to Rosie's last question (elemental form) might be Yes and No. But I am honestly not sure what the best answer is.
Is just one metal involved?
Is it West of Prague?
I should ask this more often.
Just one metal involved? No.
Hidden textIn a nerdy linguistic way, I find it interesting that the phrase 'the metal', which showed up in four questions, spanned meanings that I reasonably interpreted as potentially including multiple metals (elemental, metaphorical), to a meaning that definitely required a single metal (ending in -um). 'Is the metal copper?' kinda sits in the middle; I perhaps should have suggested assumption checking at that point. As you were.

West of Prague? Yes.
Hidden textOf course, it's also East of Prague, if you go far enough.
Does the mountain actually have Mount or Mountain in its name?
Is this mountain named on Google Maps?
The EU Butter Mountain it isn't, but it's too good not to play it
Mount or mountain in the name? There are in fact two acceptable answers on the card. The answer is Yes for one and No for the other. *a little muttering from some of the more literal-minded audience members*
Named on Google Maps? Yes. (Both answers on the card appear on Google Maps.)
Butter Mountain? No. (Interestingly, the second one of those would clearly have been only a marginal Yes in response to Tuj's last question.)

(This one is proving harder than I expected. I hope I haven't been misleading with any of my answers.)
Is it in Wales?
Is it South of Lyon?
In Wales? No.
South of Lyon? No.
What I would like it to be is the enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff. Is it that?
Enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff? No.
Is it in the Alps?
In the Alps? No.
In the UK?
Does mining come into it?
In the UK? No.
Mining-related? No.
(And, as I keep reading, I now think that my answer to Rosie probably should have been No. But I'm still not sure. Did I mention that chemistry is not my strong suit?)
Is it south of Loen?
You know, the village in Stryn Municipality in Vestland county in Norway.
Is it an island?
Oh, _that_ Loen
South of Loen? No. Which means it is also north of every Loon, Lyon, Leon, Léon, and León listed in Wikipedia.
An island? No.
Does water play a part?
Is it in Iceland?
Watery? No.
In Iceland? Yes! *applause*
Eyjafjallajökull?
Strike that suggestion - begins with an E
Is it a chocolate pavlova mountain?
You can find them in Iceland.   :)
Does either form of the name end with "-jökull"?
Eyjafjallajökull? No. *some applause*
Chocolate pavlova mountain? No.
Hidden text Only after googling did I understand the joke -- no Iceland where I currently live or have previously lived. :)

Jökullsuffixed? No.
North Atlantic Ridge?
North Atlantic Ridge? No. *some applause*
Surtsey?
Surtsey? No. (Not an island) *applause*
Is it only in Iceland?
Only in Iceland? Yes.
Does it begin with a K (in Icelandic)?
Begins with a K? No.
I'm surprised this is taking so long; I would have thought it was easy to guess by this point.
The amount of lava erupted from a volcano?
I'll have you know I spent at least one microlife yesterday looking up the geology and geography of Iceland on Wikipedia, and I've still no idea what it is.
Quantity of lava? No.
Now I'm feeling guilty! The audience applauds at the word "volcano".
Hidden textAt this point I will tell you for free that all my confusion/ignorance with regard to Rosie's question does indeed concern lava. I have never thought much about lava beyond the fact that it's a, well, hot mess. What exactly is going on chemically, I have no idea. Maybe, with Rosie's help, I'll end this AVMA better informed than I was when I started. :)
Fagradalsfjall!
Hekla, with lots of shouting
Hekla? Hekno, because...
...Fagradsfjall, which commenced eruptions in March of this year and is still erupting (at least as of yesterday) is indeed the answer on the card. "Fjall" is Icelandic for mountain. The other acceptable answer on the card was Geldingadalir which is the more precise location of the eruption.
Hidden textFull disclosure. The original AOTC was just Geldingadalir, but when I was asked whether the AOTC was a mountain, I felt it would have been badly misleading to have answered No, so I hurriedly grabbed my Sharpie and wrote in Fagradalsfjall as well. Also, to clarify one other piece of my answers, I went with the fact that one dictionary definition of 'metallic' is simply 'containing a metal'; I was a little worried that answer might mislead and tried to convey as much with the audience reaction; in the end it didn't seem to lead you astray too much!
Hidden textI clearly overthink this, don't I? :)
(Careful with this baton, Raak. It's still a bit hot.)
The next is VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections; or vice versa.
An anorak?
A wahoo from the centre circle.
Is it edible?
[Rosie] Not an anorak.
[CdM] Not edible, is the simplest answer.
Rethinking the rubric, it might be better if more long-windedly expressed as VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL connections.
Human Made?
A musical instrument?
Would a Morniverser typically own one of these?
[B] Yes, human made.
[SM] Not a musical instrument.
[R] I think a Morniverser would not typically own one of these, although they very well might.
A fossil?
A weapon?
Is the vegetable wood? Is the mineral stone?
[RtG] Not a fossil.
[R] Not a weapon.
[SM] There can be wood, peripherally. (murmur of amusement in the audience)
[SM2] (Confers with Mycroft. Mycroft gives a definite nod.) Yes, the mineral is stone.
Are the animal connections just because it is human-made (and perhaps human-used?), or do they go beyond that?
[CdM] The animal connections go beyond human make or use.
Is it a weapon? Is it a tool?
[B1] Not a weapon.
[B2] Not a tool.
Is it art?
Is the item fire- or heat-related?
[B] *applause!* It is art.
[SM] Not fire- or heat-related.
Is it commonly sited indoors?
[SM] Yes, indoors.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A painting?
Is Mycroft the Highland version of Myspace?
[C] Can be smaller than a toaster.
[B] *rapturous applause* It is a painting!
[C] Mycroft declines to say.
All done by one artist?
[B] Not by one artist.
In the previous, I should add that it is not a specific painting.
Impressionist?
A still life?
A pet portrait?
Trying to think of something arty that a Crescenter might have rather than probably has is a narrow area to work in.
[SM] The exact phrase was “very well might”, which is even narrower. I mean, a Crescenter might own an original Chagall,
Hidden textI choose this example because I did know a perfectly ordinary not-rich person who owned a (small!) Chagall.
but I wouldn’t stick a “very well” in front.
[S] Could be.
[SM] Not unless it's dead, because...
[C] Yes. A still life. Have this tasteful basket of flowers, fruits, and roadkill.
Everyone can now boast of their collection of still lives that every Crescenter should own.
Mmmmmmm ... roadkill
Me again? OK. I'm about to head into a horrendously busy period, so here is a nice easy ANIMAL and MINERAL that we can hopefully despatch in a few days. *some immediate muttering and discussion in the audience*
An item of clothing?
Item of clothing? No.
Is the animal Human?
Is this weapon?
Human? *some more animated discussion in the audience* Given what was posted on the board, No.
Weapon? *laughter* No. Although, for a sufficiently broad definition, and in some circumstances, Yes.
Is it unique?
Unique? No.
A handbag?
It is I, Rosie
Does it begin with P?
A statue?
Sports-related?
A haaaaaaaaaaandbaaaag? No.
Begin with P? No.
Statue? No.
Sports-related? No.
Hidden textI can think of a very very very minor way to relate the AOTC to sports, but it's not worth exploring. So forget I said anything.
Can you lift it easily with one hand?
Part of an animal's anatomy?
Is the mineral salt?
Lift easily with one haaaaaaaaaaaaand...
Sorry. <mode "Edith Evans" = off>

Lift easily with one hand? Yes, I can.
Part of animal's anatomy? I think No is the best answer, but *some audience discussion*
Salt? No. *a sprinkling of audience laughter*
Are the connected animals domesticated?
A paint brush?
Is it edible?
Connected animal domestic? Sometimes.
Paintbrush? No.
Edible? The best answer, though not actually 100% accurate, is Yes. *some applause*
Is it not merely edible, but eaten?
Eaten? Yes. *more applause*
Hidden textThis is a lively audience
I'm going to clarify the "anatomy" response: I think that No is probably the right answer, though there could be some room for some debate, and I'm quite sure that No is the least misleading answer.
Are eggs involved?
Eggs involved? Well, an egg is, because that is the AOTC. One ovoid baton tossed carelessly in Boolbar’s direction.
The yolks on me.
Oh! I didn't think it would be eggactly that. We can let CdM go and be very busy and begin once more with another nice easy one: ANIMAL with some MINERAL. And no it isn't an egg again.
Is it human?
A chicken (with a tinfoil hat)?
Salted cod?
Human? No.
Chicken? No. Not even with a bit of foil. *Some of the audience are licking their lips*
Salted Cod? No. *'Oooh' comes from the audience*
Dead animal?
Is it unique?
Does it live in the ocean?
tl;dr Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard:
Hidden textReflections on an egg. First, I set the last AVMA forgetting to check whether we had had 'egg' as an answer before. To my surprise, even though the word has come up over 50 times, it has never been a subject before (though both Faberge egg and Easter egg have been). Second, it's amazing how you think you've set a nice easy AVMA, and then the questions come in and you realise there are many more subtleties than you considered. In my head, I was thinking of a simple chicken egg sitting on a table. But I immediately had to worry about whether people understand 'mineral' as a geological term, or as including biominerals, such as eggshell? (I decided eggshell should be classified as mineral, but does that mean we should actually classify almost all animals as 'animal and mineral' because of bones and teeth??) Of course, having made that decision, I immediately ran into trouble with human eggs. And then there was the anatomy question. We'd classify ova within an animal as anatomical, but I had already assumed the existence of eggshell. But, then, what about, say, a developing chicken egg before it has been laid? Oh, and finally, it turns out some eggs are poisonous. Still, at least I was confident that one could lift an egg with one hand and that they could be weaponised. :)
Dead? I do hope so.
Unique? No.
Ocean dwelling? No.
Hidden textAlthough taking into account what you said in your hidden part, I would suspect there will be at least one example of the AOTC bobbing around in an ocean somewhere. This would be almost certainly accidental and should be ignored. It would not be 'living' anyway! Also, I haven't gone back through the entire history of this game to see if my AOTC has been used before. Sorry if it has.
Is it a preserved creature?
The worm in a bottle of Tequila?
Preserved? Well, yes. *A ripple of applause*   This might send people down the wrong path.
Wormy tequila? No. But I guess that was worth a shot...
But is it art?
Is the animal dangerous when alive?
...to people, that is.
Art? Isn't everything? In this case, NO. Although thinking about it, there is a connection between the word on the card and art...
DANGER! DANGER? NO. Well, usually not. Some close relatives might be.
Is the animal a ruminant?
Moo & Co.? NO.
Edible?
Stuffed?
Edible? YES! Stuffed? NO.
Escargot?
A tortoise?
Pickled?
I remembered the line break this time...
Snails? NO
Tortoise? NO
Pickled? Not usually, but apparently it can be found pickled (I did not know until I Googled it.)

Note: There are some tiny grey areas here. For instance it is possible that the AOTC could be associated with a ruminant, but it is then described as such and not just the single word on the card. Best ignored.

Is the mineral part a shell?
Shell? NO
Extinct?
Is the mineral salt?
Does it begin with P?
Extinct? NO.
Salt? YES! There is salt in there.
P? NO. But a P beginning word is associated with the AOTC.
Overacts
Ham? NO *Audience applause*
Bacon?
*Audience goes wild*
Yes! Bacon it is. The first thing I thought of after the previous "egg". It is wise not to play this game while feeling a tad peckish.
Back to me? OK—another one that I hope will be reasonably easy. ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
FIsh and chips?
Fish and Chips? No and No.
Bangers and mash?
Is it food?
Bangers and Mash? No and No.
Food? Yes.
Sushi?
Liver & Onions
Soup?
Does it require much preparation?
Burger and fries?
Meat and two veg?
Sushi? No.
Liver and Onions? No and No.
Soup? No.
Does it require much preparation? I'll go with No. It does require some preparation, but it is straightforward.
Burger and fries? No and No.
Meat and two veg? No and No and No.
Is the animal part, milk?
Animal part milk? Yes, in part. (Technically, No is possible, but anything other than a Yes would be misleading.)
Is the mineral part the container?
Mineral container? Is this a fiendish trick to make me admit there is a mineral component even though that was not specified on the board? If so, your dastardly plan has succeeded. It is very probable that there is a small amount of mineral. Is that useful? Almost certainly not. Is it anything to do with a container? Definitely not.
Oops.
Milk and cookies?
A cereal?
Milk and cookies? No and No.
A cereal? No. *a smattering of applause*
Porridge?
Porridge? No. *a smattering of applause by the same smatterers who smattered in response to the previous question*
Does it taste sweet?
Is it baked?
OK, now it is starting to get tricky. There are actually two acceptable answers on the card. I'd always thought of them as being essentially equivalent, but some perusal of the internet suggests some subtle differences. One of the two answers is probably more familiar to most people. With that in mind...
Sweet? For the more well known answer, I would say Sometimes But Mostly No, although it can be—and an even more complicated answer might depend on how we think of the flavour profile of a common but not essential ingredient. For the less common answer, the answer seems to be Mostly Yes.
Baked? Mostly No, but sometimes—and more likely in the case of the less common answer.
All of that makes sense to me, but perhaps not to you. So, to keep things simple, if we stick to the more familiar AOTC:

Sweet? Sometimes.
Baked? Usually No.
Sausages?
Sausages? No. *the serial smatterers smatter*
Are eggs used to prepare this food?
Hamburger?
Eggs used in preparation? Yes. *applause*
Hamburger? No.
A breakfast aliment?
Poached eggs?
A coddled egg?
Breakfasty? Yes, my dear Watson. *applause*
Poached eggs? No.
Coddled egg? No.
An English breakfast?
Is toast involved?
I think we are just about done here
English breakfast? No. *laughter*
Toast involved? *loud applause* Toast is one of the words on the card. (Oddly, however, it is at least arguable that the best answer to the question might be No.)
Soldiers?
Soldiers? No.
French Toast?
Scrambled egg on toast?
Yum-yum
Eggy bread?
And Chalky has it! The AOTC is indeed French Toast (which, of course, is not toast as the word is usually understood, hence my answer to Bismarck's earlier question). The alternative AOTC was Pain Perdu, which is, er, the French version of French toast. Unfortunately, I never got the P question. While the egg mixture for French toast is typically not sweetened (even though of course it may typically be served with very sweet things like maple syrup), my casual googling suggests that it is more common to include sugar in the making of pain perdu, so I think there may be a subtle difference. I don't think I've ever actually heard the term "Eggy Bread" before, but I would have awarded it the win had Chalky not got there first; as far as I can tell from very quick googling it is equivalent to French toast.

I have here one soaked and fried baton for Chal—hang on, where did I put it...?
Thought I might have nailed it in a moment of weakness ;^)

To quote our friend and all-round gamestar CdM "Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard .." I can but do my best although it may be helpful to set an alarm as a reminder to pop in at least once a day.

Next up ANIMAL

If you translate the answer into French, does it begin with P?
CdM, I let you down :(
Is it human?
Alive?
Catgut?
Translates into a French P? NON

Human? - YES

Alive? - YES

Catgut? - NO

Involved in the world of entertainment?
A sportsperson?
British?
A single identified individual?
Involved in the world of entertainment? YES

A sportsperson? YES

British? NO

A single identified individual? YES

Female?
Plays in a team sport?
Female? NO

Plays in a team sport? NO

Roger Federer?
A cricketer?
Lately in the news?
Roger Federer? NO

A cricketer? NO

Lately in the news? NO

Have they won an Olympic medal?
European?
Retired?
Have they won an Olympic medal? NO

European? NO

Retired? YES

* rethink *
Retired? YES and NO
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known?
Is this a footballer?
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known? YES

Is this a footballer? NO

A lone yachtsman?
A lone yachtsman? NO
A commentator?
A commentator? NO
Not female. Trans?
American?
Trans? NO

American? YES

A golfer?
A F1 driver?
They are regularly retired.
Are we looking for the name of the person?
A golfer? NO

A F1 driver? NO

Are we looking for the name of the person? YES (as confirmed to CdM above as 'a single identified individual')

A tennis player?
A tennis player? NO
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games?
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games? Supportive of ... but NO - never competed
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games?
Original questions R Us
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games? NO [unoriginal answers R Us]
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable?
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable? NO *audience stirs*
Under the age of 60?
Is what they are mainly remembered for their post-retirement involvement in the sports world?
Under the age of 60? YES

Is what they are mainly remembered for (in) their post-retirement ... ? YES

... involvement in the sports world? NO

*hint* the 5th question asked on this subject is an avenue worth exploring
Have they been in a few movies?
Schwarzenegger?
Recap
We are to name an American man, still alive and under 60 though currently retired, who had some sporting links earlier in life, who has been involved in the entertainment industry and is known for this.
That looks like less useful info than there should be...
Have they been in a few movies? YES! *sighs and murmurs of relief from the audience *

Schwarzenegger? NO but a fine guess

Recap? A somewhat timorous description of this character's previous sporting prowess and current status in the entertainment industry although, by and large, correct.

O J Simpson?
*sighs*
A Schwarzenegger & O J Simpson are both 74 years young ... this chap is under 60 years of age
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances?
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances? NO
Keanu Reeves?
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
*audience claps and cheers and generally goes wild for Tuj*
So not all-round-good-guy Keanu.

Dwayne Johnson it is! Not as Fast and Furious as some, I believe.

Here Tuj - have this baton hewn from Rock

What a gory baton!
Thanks Chalks! Let's head over now to something VEGETABLE.
A record-breaking prize vegetable?
Is it alive?
Raak] YES and NO. I think in the sense you mean, NO ;)
Supe] YES.
Does it span many acres?
A well-known forested area?
Does it begin with pea?
SM] No.
Rosie] No. (A couple of audience members confusedly unmute themselves briefly)
Bool] No
A particular tree?
Is it edible to humans?
Rosie] YES. (applause)
Supe] NO
A fruit tree?
Raak] NO
Is it of great age?
In the United States?
A bristlecone pine?
SM] YES.
Rosie] YES (applause)
Raak] NO
The General Sherman?
Rosie] NO. (gasps)
A creosote Bush?
Over 3000 years old?
Methuselah, the bristlecone pine?
Don't you dare make any ageist jokes.
Giant sequoia
RTG] NO.
Bool] NO.
Rosie] NO
Softers] YES. (clapping, then an expectant hush)
That redwood with the road going through it?
Supe] NO.
Gerneral Sherman?
Note to self: 4/4/4/1/3/2/
Sorfters] NO.
In California?
Bool] YES
General Grant?
Are we looking for the colloquial name of this sequoia
I had to look this up and there's quite a few named trees.
Softers] NO (appreciative 'ooh' from some audience members)
Bism] YES (if I'm understanding your question to be whether the AOTC is the name of a specific tree)
Does the tree have a military rank?
SM] NO
The President Tree?
Softers] NO.
Is it in the Giant Forest national park?
I thought I'd give this game a nudge.
Bool] NO!
A tree specific to the US of A DC and Christmas?
Duj] NO
Is it named after someone?
Raak] YES (some audience dissent, discussion and ooh-ing)
Is it named after some individual person by their name?
Does the name have seasonal connections?
Raak] YES (well, depending on your definition of the word 'person')
SM] NO (I began this 5 weeks ago :( )
Is it in the Mountain Home Grove?
Bool] NO
Cmon everyone, let's get this done this year!
Is it in the Sierra Nevada?
Hyperion?
I'll be very surprised if that's not right. :)
Raak] NO...
CdM] YES!
General Sherman popped into my head as a potential AOTC, but on research I found that this coast redwood, named after a mythical titan, is feted as the world's tallest known living tree. A very long wooden baton to you!
OK. A nice easy VEGETABLE.
An antivaxxer?
Is it a tree or made of something from a tree?
Edible?
Antivaxxer? No.
Tree or made from tree? Yes. *applause*
Edible? No.
Mainly paper?
A piece of furniture?
Paper? No.
Furniture? No.
A tool?
A work of art, or part of one?
Are there more than one?
Tool? No.
Art? No.
>1? Yes.
Christmas-related?
Christmassy? No.
Would you typically find one of these in someone's house?
Does it begin with P?
Found in someone's house? No. * audience laughter*
Begin with P? Regrettably, no. There is one P-adjacency that I can think of, but it does not appear on the card.
Is it too big/heavy to be lifted by one person
Is it something made of wood?
Alive?
Is it something revered?
Too big to be lifted by one person? No. *audience laughter, and considerable muttering*
Made of wood? Yes.
Alive? No.
Revered? No.
Wood-chip mulch?
Is it normally carried on one's person?
Mulch? No.
Normally carried on one's person? No. *considerable laughter*
Sawdust?
The stump of a tree?
Sawdust? No.
Tree stump? No.
Is it a man-made object?
Man-made? Yes. *audience mutter a little, but are generally in agreement*
A cricket bat?
Long shot (over silly point)
Cricket bat? No.
Is it pointy?
A stack of wood for burning?
Some sort of container?
Pointy? No.
Proto-bonfire? No.
Container? No.
Is it made of fossilised wood?
Fossilised? No.
Is it functional?
A hedge?
Functional? Yes. (Perhaps not a word that would naturally come to mind for the AOTC, but that has to be the best answer.)
Hedge? No (not alive, remember).
I'll also slightly qualify my answer to the "Pointy?" question to add a parenthetical "well, sometimes, sort of". Probably not helpful, though; just trying to pre-empt appeals at the end of the round.
Used for a game?
A weapon?
Is it edible for human consumption?
Used for game? Yes. *applause*
Weapon? No.
Edible? No.
A Pooh-stick?
A caber?
Pooh stick? No *laughter*
A caber? Yes! *applause*
I now have this image of highlanders playing poohsticks with cabers tossed over the side of the Forth Bridge.

I was handed a very long wooden baton, and I now hand on a shorter—but still very long!—wooden baton to Bismarck.
This thing could do with some handles, you know. Also its swishability is lacking somewhat. But on we go!
This is VEGETABLE with a bit of ANIMAL and MINERAL thrown in as accessories.
Is it an area of woodland?
Just in case trees are the current trend.
Smokey bacon crisps?
A Trifid?
A manufactured item?
Worcestershire sauce?
A recipe book?
Does it begin with S?
Is it portable by an average human?
Lights out - round 1!
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[nights] No.
[Simons] No.
[Tuj] No.
[Superman] Yes.
A pleasing symmetry in those answers.
Is it found in a typical household?
Is it made to be eaten?
It is mainly made of wood?
They keep a-comin'
[Rosie] Not uncommonly.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it used for a game or sport?
Is it a tool, or part of a tool?
Is it piece of furniture?
The Noes have it
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] No.
[Radox] No.
Foldable?
It is a human artefact?
Oops, that ws effectively answered yes already.
Is it ornamental?
Is it functional?
Ducks redux
[Simons] No.
[Raak] Yes, and then No.
[Chalky] Ain't everything... Yes.
A hatstand?
A walking stick?
Generally of a stick-like form?
Is it (intentionally) combustible?
Does it belong in the garden?
Owed to joy
[Rosie] No.
[Software] No.
[Rak] No.
[nights] No.
[Radox] No.
Is the animal part leather?
A kitchen item?
Generally of a ball-like form?
Uncanny unanimity
[Software] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the animal part hair?
Is it smaller than a house brick?
The burden of the animals
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
A musical instrument?
A footstool?
An applau
[Simons] YES. The audience claps and sways.
[Software] No.
A stringed instrument?
Woodwind?
A guitar?
Violin?
A ton of applause
[Raak] Yes.
[Boolbar] No.
[Rosie] Yes! But there are two words on the card.
[Software] No.
Flying V?
A bass guitar?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] Possibly a version.
Is one of the words "guitar"?
A Fender?
Is one of the words 'dusty', 'forgotten' or similar?
speaking as part of the non-musical contingent
Does the first word on the card begin with 'A'?
And now the end is near
[Raak] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Dujon] No.
Acoustic guitar?
Spanish guitar?
Lo hiciste a tu manera
[Software] Yes, but not the answer on the card.
[Rosie] Si! Si! The audience stamps and claps, Rosie has won.

With a rose between your teeth, take this baton and lead us in an impromptu paso doble.

Arglwydd Mawr, dw'i wedi ennill. Be' sy'n ddigwydd?
Hidden textGood Lord, I won. Woss going on?

And the next object is

ABSTRACT

.
Is it Welsh?
(R the G) Welsh? NO. Looks more Latin-based to me.
Did Kant refer to it in any of his works?
(Superman) Not having read all of Kant (or any of it, actually) I can't say but the answer is very likely NO.
Does it have more syllables than 'breadbin'?
Is it owt do wi' art?
Did it originate in the bible or Shakespeare?
(SM) YES, it certainly does.
(Dujon) You cannot be serious. NO.
(Boolbar) I very much doubt it so let's just say NO.
Is it the steam that's on a winter's morning gently rises from the chimney of a steam engine which has just started to heat up for its first run up to York?
A well known phrase or saying?
A load of bollocks?
From Wales?
(R the G) Alas, NO. That's smoke BTW. Lighting up a steam loco is a dirty job.
(Boolbar) NOT a well-known phrase or saying.
(Softers) Generally, though not always, YES.
(Raak) NO. Not location-specific.
To do with current affairs?
(Raak) Current affairs? YES. *audience gets rather animated*
Democracy?
(Dujon) NO, not democracy.
Political rhetoric?
Social Media related?
(Softers) Political? YES. Rhetoric? NO.
(Boolbar) NO. Predates social media by quite a lot.
So nowt to do with Boris "not a complete clown" Johnson then.
(Raak) Not a thing. Nice link, BTW.
Does it involve death?
Does it have royal connections?
(Superman) - NO link with death.
(SM) - NO royal connections.
A Political Ideal?
Was this linked to a specific event?
Something to do with voters?
(Chalky) A political ideal? Very often, YES. *audience sit up and take notice*
(Bismarck) A specific event? NO.
(Boolbar) YES, quite a lot to do with voters. *even more buzz from the audience.*
Votes for women?
A ballot of some sort?
Universal suffrage?
Brexit Opportunities?
We do have a new smarmy incumbent, after all.
(Superman) Votes for women? NO.
(Duj) NOT a ballot.
(Raak) NOT universal suffrage.
(Softers) Brexit Opportunities? I think they'd keep quiet about it, so NO.
A method of voting?
(Simons Mith) A method of voting? NO.
Manifestos?
Elections?
Simons Mith has it! The AOTC is actually A Manifesto but that's near enough. I hand you the baton, now reduced to a worthless scroll of A4.
Oh look, it's got 'get Brexit done' scribbled on it in crayon.
Anyway, the next one for your delectation is ANIMAL.
Is it you?
No; too delectable.
Human?
Human - yes.
Alive at this moment?
Is it a specific person?
Alive - Yes
Specific - No
The members of some organisation?
A clan or tribe?
Is it more than 1000 people?
Organization - No
Clan - No
>1000? - No
A sports team?
sporty - No
Flat-Earthers?
Music related?
Honest politicians?
flat, musical or honest - all no.
The inhabitants of some small remote place?
Do they share the same name?
remote, common name: no again. A word related to the AOTC does come from a 'group' with a shared name. This is too broad to be a hint IMV - it's just a side observation.
Are all members of this group alive now?
Is it a group which one has to apply to to become a member?
[Alive, alive-o] Nup.
[Exclusive] Nu-uh.
Prime Ministers?
All the winners of some competition or honour?
[PM, winners] No and no.
Connections with TV or Radio?
[media] Nope.
From a specific country?
Are there more than five members of this group currently alive?
[Rosie]
Hidden textYou show surprising faith in humanity if you think there are fewer than 1000 flat-earthers out there. :)
Anything to do with hats?
[country, hatty] No and no
[5 alive] Yes.
To clarify, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. How many AOTCs there actually are would be difficult to estimate.
Presidents of the USA?
Is it a profession?
[presidenty, professional] No and no
Is it a one word answer?
[one-word] Yes.
Is it a physical characteristic that links this group?
Is it a psychological characteristic?
[Physical] On balance, no.
[Psychological] ... On balance, yes. Did have to think about that
Age related?
Sport related?
My turn soon to manage Watford.
[Agey, sporty] Nah, twice.
Fans of something?
Royalty?
[Fans, royals] Nope, everyone's still dead cold.
So alive on the 15th Feb but dead now? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?
Looking at previous answers. Woof Woof!
Any political connection?
The Illuminati?
Following Boolbar's logic! And Rosie, why bother with Watford when you can buy Chelsea?
Is being a member of this group something that an individual can choose?
[alive and yet not] Treating that as a question, I think it highly probable that some AOTCs have met their end in the last few weeks, so, Yes.
[political] No.
[Illuminatuses] No
[a matter of choice] Tricky. A hesitant Yes.
Centenarians?
(Bis) I think that nice Mr Abramovich may be asking a little more than my current budget. Chelsea fan since 1957, BTW.
Connected with space travel?
[Rosie] age-related question - see above.
[Aaaaaaaage] Nope.
[Spaaaaaaace] Negatory, Houston
Connected with hair?
Stunt-men?
crime-related?
[hair-related] No
[stunt-related] Nay
[crime-related] Yes (Claps from the audience)
People on death row?
People let out on parole?
The Kray gang?
UK crime?
[Death row] No
[Parolees] No
[Krays] No
[UK] Nope.
Is the crime organized?
Related to transport?
[organized] No
[transport] No
Kleptomania?
Cannibalism?
Did the crime exist in the 19th century?
[Kleptomania] No
[Cannibalism] No
[19th Century] Not sure how to answer. I did start with a firm no but then changed my mind to yes.
Related to financial fraud?
[Frodulence] Nay
Treason?
[Treason] No, not especially associated with that either.
Are we looking for victims of a crime?
[victoms] Nope.
British?
[British] No, not really.
Does it end with a Y?
[-y?] No, they don't.
Does it begin with ... (*rolls 26-sided die*) ... P?
Trespassers?
[Trespassers] No. (Half a clap from the audience)
[Begins with P] No.
Anything to do with war?
Anti-vaxers?
[warlike] Not really
[antiva] Nope
Do they steal something physical?
[Forth from his den to steal he stole,
His bag full of clink he clunk
And many a wicked smile he smole
And many a wink he wunk.
—How the Thief Thove] No.
(this space intentionally left blank)
Your poem led me to this curious issue of an old magazine. I cannot be sure if it is genuine or a complete invention. There are many places on the web where the poem can be found in various versions, but "How the Thief Thove" gets just this one hit.
Those thivin' thieves
My version was from a comic miscellany (Presto!) collected by Peter Dickinson, pub. 1975, Hutchinson. An old book I'm very fond of.
Thovery
A Google search for "smole wunk" turns up a bunch of variants, including in the Transcript of Proceedings of the National Railway Labour Panel Emergency Board.
Identity theft?
That all seems like a promising idea for the next V Difficult Poems on the other side.
[identity], No, they not thivs
Do these people enjoy political power?
[power] Nope.
Squatters?
[Squatters] No, more likely to be slouchers
Transportation?
[Transportation] No.
Hackers?
[Hackers] A clever guess, but no.
Julian Assange?
[Assange] Nuh uh.
Gizza Clue?
Do they cheat in some game or competition?
[Cheaters] No
[Clue] Hm, well, as I said, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. And it's never been illegal to be one - there'd be no way to enforce it
Is employment a factor?
[Employment] No, it's isn't.
Does wealth come into it?
[Wealth] Nope.
Cloning?
Apologies if we've asked already. Can't be bothered to scroll back
[Clones] No. That's super cold.
Is there something you have to wear to become one of these?
[Wearables] No. Ordinary clothes are fine
Is sitting down a requirement to be this?
[Sitting] No, you don't need to be sat.
Profiteering?
[Profiteers] No. Warmer than cloning, but no.
Communism?
Identity Thief?
Talking to myself now :-)
[ID Teef] No. In terms of warmness that's between cloning and profiteering, but all three are dead cold.
[Commies] No.
Does this apply to a particular country or region?
Bismarck did Identity theft some weeks ago, too.
[National or regional?] No, either way.
Not UK was identified some time ago. Is this 'thing' American?
Queue jumpers?
[USAnian] No, not very American either
[Queue jumpers] No.
Ghosts?
In order to be the AOTC, do they create something?
[Ghosts] No.
[Creators] No.
Recrap
We seek a single word that describes a human, with a link to crime, but no specific crime we have yet been able to come up with - indeed these people, of whom a few are alive at the moment, cannot be accused of a crime themselves as there is no enforcing it. Whatever it is they are engaged in, it was more prevalent after 1900, and it has a psychological side to it. Not linked to a country, doesn't begin with P, and the type of person sought is less delectable than Mith himself.
on balance, this gets the score "1/10. See me after class with your parents, guardians, house pets and anybody else I can shout at and blame."
Yeah, pretty good summary
I think "I give up" should be the 'winning' move, and maybe we should give this game a rest. This thing is nowhere near as obscure as some of the stuff the community has solved without even breaking sweat. We successfully got 'whatnot' for one.

Do you give up?

Is it people who give up rather than persevering?
[Givers-up] No... but they are rarely among life's winners.
Toffs?
Chavs?
[Toffs] No
[Chavs] No – but that's worth some applause
Welfare scroungers?
Spivs? Barflies?
[Scroungers] No, but a few more claps
[Spivs] No
[Barflies] No
Black marketeers?
[black marketeers] No - spivs basically are black marketeers, aren't they?
Oiks
Does this word begin with the letter G?
The underclass?
[Oiks] Yes, another smattering
['G-'] Nope
[Underclass] No
Do these people have the vote (if of age)?
Are they mostly male?
Beggars?
Zombies?
Dwarfs?
[Voters, Male] Yes and yes
[Beggars, Zombies, Dwarves] No
Eunuchs?
Do they usually have a fixed abode?
[Eunuchs?!] No. That's a real left-field guess. As cold as clones.
[Of fixed abode] Yes, usually.
Kings?
Are they recognisable at sight?
[Kings] No
[On sight] No. It's a bit like burglars. They might be supposed to wear a black and white stripey top and a mask, and carry a big sack with SWAG written on it, but uniform standards are dreadfully lax these days.
Incels?
[Incels] No, not that lame. [Audience consider clapping, then decide not]
Lottery winners? Does religion come into it?
People who don’t pay their library fines?
[Lottery] no
[Religion] no
[Non-payment] No, as if they'd ever read a book
Is this to do with them being unedicated?
Or uneducated?
[Non-edicated] Yes. A bit stereotypical, but yes.
Another summary. They are: human, linked to crime in a general way, some (more than five) alive today and some not, disreputable, generally male, uneducated, usually of fixed abode, unlikely to read a book, eligible to vote, oiks, a one-word answer in the singular, linked by a psychological characteristic, more numerous after 1900.

They are not (as a defining characteristic): flat-earthers, musical, honest politicians, a sports team, all having the same name, competition winners, Prime Ministers, US Presidents, members of a profession, connected to TV or radio, to do with hats, inhabitants of a small remote place, members of a group one must apply to, linked to a country, linked by a physical characteristic, age-related, sport-related, fans of something, royalty, the Illuminati, Centenarians, astronauts, related to hair, stunt-men, on death row, on parole, the Krays, organised crime, transport-related, kleptomaniacs, cannibals, related to fraud, related to treason, victims of crime, trespassers, to do with war, anti-vaxxers, beginning with P, beginning with G, hackers, Julian Assange, clones, wearers of a uniform, identity thieves, toffs, chavs (applause), welfare scroungers (applause), spivs, barflies, black marketeers, oiks, the underclass, beggars, zombies, dwarves, eunuchs, kings, ghosts, queue jumpers, creators of anything, recognisable at sight, lottery winners, related to religion, derelict about library fines.

Bouncers?
Excellent summary, worth a clap
Yes! However I see 'oiks' in both the am and the isn't sections. They're oikish individuals. But 'oik' is not the AOTC.
[Bouncers] No. But that's also worth a clap. And I suppose some of them might be bouncers.
The unemployed?
A pejorative term?
[Unemployed] Generally yes. Not always officially employed, that's for sure.
[Prejorative] Yes, I suppose. Milder even than oik though.
If there is a term for the Trotters out of Only Fools and Horses, would that be close?
'Cos I'm sure there is one but I can't put my finger on it.
['Entrepreneurs', of course] And no. [Audience titters].
Class-based?
Wide boys?
(Although "according to the Oxford English Dictionary it is synonymous with spiv".)
Charlatans?
Troll?
[Classy] Yes. But not classy.
[Wide] No.
[Charlatanny] No.
[Trolley] No. [A small ripple]
Yob?
[Yob] No. But getting warm at last
Hooligans (a.k.a. hoolies, hooks, or hoods)?
[Hooligans] No. Maybe a smidge warmer?
Oafs?
The only other words I can think of are all rather sweary - so it's probably best I withdraw from the chase ;^)
Would members of this class deny their membership of it?
[Oafs] No. A bit colder with oafs.
[Sweary] No, it's not sweary. After all, this is a family show. :-)
[Denial] Yes, I think most would. Some probably revel in it, but even then self-awareness is not high on the list for these types.
Is some sort of bigotry involved?
Conected wth the military?
Working class?
Do they go around in gangs?
Any connection to public schools?
[Bigots] No, not particularly
[Military] No, not especially
[Working class] Yes, for a very broad definition of 'working'
[Gangs] No, not 'gangs'
[Public schools] No. Well, almost never.
Often under the influence of some drug or other?
The riff-raff?
The Hoi-Poloi?
[druggies] No.
[riff-raff] No. That's one of the closest guesses yet though. [Audience sniggers]
[hoi-poloi] No.
Pikies?
Migrant workers?
Muggers?
[pikies] No
[migrants] no
[muggers] no, but a stronger ripple for that one
Does it begin with R,S or T?
[R,S,T] Yes. :-)
Reprobates?
Travelling folk?
[Reprobates] Yes.
[Travellers] No.
Recidivists?
Teenage herberts?
Drop-outs? Hippies?
[Recidiv] No. Well, a few might be
[Herberts] No.
[Dropouts] No. Again, a few might be.
[Hippies] Pah! No.
Blackmailers?
Forget blackmailers, that doesn't pass the no-apparent crime test.
Ruffian?
Urchins?
[Rrrrruff!] Yes! Boolbar wins. Audience sensation - oh wait, most of them have died of old age. I did say plural, but honestly, I'll assume that was just a typo.
Wait - checking back, no I didn't, I chose a singular generic specimen. Boolbar wins double points for being righter than the wally who set this one.
Oh blimey! I'd better quickly think of something. How about ANIMAL (with a vague link to vegetable and mineral for some parts of the world and for that matter vegetable and abstract as well, but let's ignore all that and stick with the basic ANIMAL or we'll be here all day year.)
Is it found on a coat of arms anywhere?
[Arms] Yes, I've swiftly found one on Google.
Popularly thought to represent a country?
Living in the sea?
Four-legged?
This should be quick...
[Country] I would suspect a lot people would think of this animal if one country was mentioned.
[Sea] Mainly.
[Four] No.
dolphin?
Does it have a shell?
The Galápagos tortoise?
A capillary-challenged eagle?
A whale?
Just Say No.
[Dolphin] No
[Shell] No
[That Tortoise] No
[That Eagle] No
[Whale] No
Is it a bird?
Could you lift one of these?
[Birdy] Yes!
[Lifty] Personally I could lift most of them, but I'd draw the line at the larger ones.
A grouse?
A penguin?
[Grouse] The bird rather than a grumbly person? No.
[Penguin] Yes! That's the one. I said it would be quick.

Do p-p-pick up this baton made out of chocolate covered biscuit and I can go and have a nice nap.

We apologise for the temporary interruption to transmission. Normal service has now been resumed.

I need to pay more attention!

This is ABSTRACT, although under another interpretation it is MINERAL
Hidden textconceivably with some non-mineral elements, but these would be negligible
A mountain (mythical or real)?
Mountain? No. *a tiny smattering of applause from the most generous members of the audience*
A geological concept?
A precious metal?
Geological? No.
Precious metal? No.
Is it an effect of animal work?
A figurative phrase or saying?
Effect of animal work? Yes.
Figurative phrase? No.
Made by mammal(s)?
A route or path of some kind?
Made by mammals? Yes.
Route or path? No.
I should perhaps clarify that my answer to Superman's question took "animal" in the AVMA sense of the term.
Made by people?
Reading between the line of CdM's clarification.
A butter mountain?
Made by people? Yes
Butter mountain? No.
An object of veneration?
A sculpture?
Object of veneration? No (except maybe in a narrow and almost certainly misleading sense... so forget I said anything).
Sculpture? No.
An award?
An artefact of modern civilisation?
Does it begin with P?
The Anthropocene?
Now it starts to get interesting…
Award? No.
Artefact of modern civilisation. *applause* In the abstract sense, the best answer is No (though a case can be made for Yes; it’s a question of perspective). In the mineral sense, most definitely Yes.
Begin with P? No—at least not any more.
Anthropocene? No.
The scrap-heap of history?
The Statue of Liberty?
Is it rubbish?
A painting of Mount Fuji?
Scrap-heap of history? No.
Statue of Liberty? No.
Rubbish? No.
A painting of Mount Fuji? No.
Did it have a western name which is no longer used?
Ayers Rock/Uluru, for example.
The Piltdown Man?
Obsolete western nomenclature? No.
Piltdown Man? No.
Forget about the mountain. The audience were too enthusiastic.
Is there just one of it?
Another interesting question.
Unique? Yes is clearly the best answer. In the mineral sense, definitely. In the abstract sense, also Yes—except, from a certain perspective, No.
Is it associated with a particular nation?
Is it an unintentional creation of some kind?
Does it have a flag?
Associated with a particular nation? In the mineral sense, Yes. In the abstract sense, No.
Unintentional creation? (*audience laughter*) No.
Does it have a flag? No.
Is the mineral gold?
A newly-formed island?
Gold? No. (It’s conceivable there’s some small amount involved, I suppose, but even if so, it wouldn’t be a helpful line of enquiry.)
New island? No.
Did the abstract sense exist before the mineral sense?
Metal?
Transuranic?
Abstract sense prior to Mineral? Yes.
Metal? In part, Yes.
Transuranic? No.
Is it wearable?
Does the abstract sense have to do with a work of fiction?
Wearable? *much mirth in the audience* No.
Connected to work of fiction? No.
Anything to do with the hydrocarbon industry?
To do with hydrocarbon industry? No. (There are surely some connections of some sort in the mineral sense (“anything to do with” is a vague phrase), but there’s no connection I am aware of that would be helpful or useful.)
Is there just one of the mineral thing?
Just one of mineral thing? You already asked that! Yes.
Is the physical thing some kind of token that represents the abstract thing?
Some kind of tokeny representation? No. Because I'm feeling really generous, I will tell you that the physical thing is the current instantiation of the abstract thing.
Is it, by definition, the X-est Y in the world, for some X and Y?
X-est Y? Yes *sustained applause*
The biggest pile of crap the world has ever seen?
The US Republican Party? No.
Is it the tallest Y?
Tallest Y? Y! *applause*
The tallest building?
Yes! The AOTC is “The tallest building in the world” which of course has had, and will have many specific instantiations.

I don’t seem to have a baton, but here’s a lightning conductor instead.
The next is a straightforward MINERAL.
Is the material modified by man?
Yes, it is modified by man.
Is it unique?
But is it art?
[CdM] It is unique.
[Tuj] Not a work of art.(A few grumbles in the audience)
Is it a feat of engineering?
[SM] (applause) It is a feat of engineering.
In North America?
(some chuckling in the audience) It is not in North America.
A bridge?
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
Is it fixed in one location?
(The audience are alert to hear how the chair handles this tricky question.)
[B] On balance, the least misleading answer is that yes, it is fixed in one location.
Is it terrestrial?
[SM] (applause) It is not terrestrial.
It's not JWST again is it :-)
It is indeed. I hadn't realised I did that 2 years ago. But some of the answers have changed since then! I'm afraid this baton has been punctured by several micrometeoroids, but it's still almost as good as new.
Well I feel like doing a MINERAL as well.
It’s not JWST again, is it?
Is it terrestrial?
I'm not trying to do the last game's questions in reverse. :)
JWST loop averted
[JWST] I would hope that only a bunch of the uttermost lunatics could manage to get caught in a loop in a game of AVMA.

... So, um, I suppose I should double-check then. (Double-checks AOTC) Nope. Definitely not the JWST. (Phew)

[terrestrial] Yes.

Is it fixed in one location?
oblig?
WTF is the JWST?
[fixed] No.

[Rosie] James Webb Space Telescope

A means of transport?
Jwst checking
[Transportation] No.
Is the material modified by man?
[man-modified] Yes.
Is there only one of it?
[Can there be only one?] No, there's loads
A drone?
Do you have at least one of these in your house or garden?
[drone] no
[in my house] yes, come to think of it.
A mobile phone?
[mobile] No. The oldest member of the audience peers farsightedly at their device and then claps, causing nonplusment among younger audience members
A remote control?
A pot? As in plants and cooking?
[Remote] No. Colder again
[Pot] No.
A ham radio device?
[Ham radio] No.
Did these exist in the year 1900?
[1900?] No, but in checking I was fascinated to discover that the fundamental discovery in use for the AOTC goes back to the late 1800s.
A metal detector?
Something powered by electricity?
[Metal detector] No.
[Electrickle] Yes.
A walkie-talkie?
[Walkie and/or talkie] No. The audience member, by the way, was just looking at an older-model mobile phone.
A hand tool?
[Hand tool] No, tenuously hand-related at best
An immobile phone?
[immobile] No. In fairness, the AOTC is not unheard-of on some older immobile phones.
An electrical component?
A loudspeaker?
An antenna?
First built 1888 by Hertz.
[Electrical component] Yes. (Claps from audience)
[loudspeaker, antenna] No and no. It took a long time before anyone found any application for the original discovery.
A battery charger?
[battery charger] No, not a battery charger. And can I just say I think it's disgraceful that we still keep chargers in such cruel and cramped conditions in this day and age?
Does it emit light?
A laser?
[emit?] No.
[laser] No.
A microphone?
A calculator?
[microphone] No
[calculator] No, (but a few more claps.)
A Leyden jar?
[jar] No. Too early.
A keyboard? With physical buttons?
A capacitor?
Quick consultation of the RS catalogue...
[keyboard] No.
[capacitor] No. I think it should be in there though.
A crystal radio?
Does it have any mechanically moving parts?
[crystal] No, but a clap or two.
[mechanically moving] No.
A movie prop?
An aerial?
[Props, aerials] No for both, and audience boos for getting colder.
Does it have a visual function?
Solid state semiconductoion (aka rectification)?
[Visual] Yes. [Back from boos to strong claps]
[rectification] No.
A liquid crystal display?
Raak wins!
[LCD] YES, that's the bunny.
I shall now ceremoniously hand over this thin grey-green rectangle with circuitry hanging from it, bearing an ancient congratulatory message: 'PC LOAD LETTER'.
Raak is going to choose the James Webb Space Telescope
I can tell...
I think Raak has been swallowed up by one of the Black Holes discovered by the JWST.
Let’s have another MINERAL. I can’t be sure that someone, perhaps even me, has not done this one before, but it’s not the JWST.
Doeas
Does it have a scientific application?
Dunno what went wrong there.
Is it a manufactured object?
[R] There is no known scientific application.
[SM] Not manufactured.
Stone?
Terrestrial?
[S] Not stone.
[SM] Non-terrestrial. At least, not specifically terrestrial.
Can you lift it?
[R] You cannot lift it.
Is there more than one of these things?
[S] It is not a countable sort of thing.
Is it the universe?
[SM] Not the universe. (There's exactly one of those, by definition.)
Is it an abstract concept?
[R] That could be argued either way, but for the sake of definiteness I'll say it is not an abstract concept.
The atmosphere?
[R] Not the atmosphere.
The ocean?
[R] Not the ocean. Non-(specifically)-terrestrial.
Related to planetary bodies?
Is it matter in one if the four basic forms?
[SM] Not related to planetary bodies.
[B] I’m not sure what the fourth basic form would be (plasma? neutronium? a black hole?), but this is not any form of matter.
Is it a form of energy?
[C] applause! It is a form of energy.
Sunshine?
[R] Not sunshine.
Dark energy?
Is motion involved?
Motion, I said, not motions.
[Rosie] Nobody knows, because...
[Radox] It is Dark Energy. Have this invisible baton that no-one is sure exists.
Energized
That was rather enjoyable, I'm not sure anyone foresaw that as being a property of Dark Energy. I am hesitating between something easy and something ridiculously specific. Therefore MINERAL is indicated, and if you hear a mysterious voice you should consult a doctor.
Is it ridiculously specific?
Terrestrial?
Is it made of glass?
Is it definitely known to exist (or have existed)?
[CdM] Yes. Not the James Webb Space Telescope, more like the receiver of the high gain antenna on the James Webb Space Telescope. Once you are getting close to this object, it will be fairly straightforward to get to the details (famous last words). And it's nothing to do with the James Webb Space Telescope.
[Boolbar] Yes.
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] It exists, has existed, and all bets are that it will exist for a bit longer.
The diagonal line forming the central part of the "N" on the Willie Rushton plaque at Mornington Crescent station?
ex-Great Western suburban 2-6-2 tank locomotive no. 6106?
It is a component of a man-made device?
Is it a doohickey?
[Tuj] No. Sadly.
[Rosie] No. Nothing to do with trains.
[Raak] It is part of something that was made by man, but hardly qualifies as a 'device'.
[Simons Mith] No. Nothing to doo with hickeys.
Is the capstone of a pyramid?
Are there more than one of this?
Is it a single colour?
Trying to be an increment more useful :)
One of the nine detectors that have been constructed at the Large Hadron Collider?
The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God?
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] There are, yes.
[Tuj] Pretty much, yes.
[Chalky] No. Hint: Far too recent.
[Raak] Nor isn't it.
Is it a weapon?
Are they found on multiple continents?
Are they all smaller than a toaster?
Related to architecture?
[Rosie] No.
[Tuj] No.
[CdM] No. It is larger than the entry for "largest toaster" in the Guinness Book of Records.
[Raak] Yes! (A collective mutter breaks out in the audience.)
Is this thing in the UK?
A castle ruin?
[Superman] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
Something to do with a bridge?
Ancient?
Made of stone?
Stonehenge?
[Boolbar] No.
[Simons Mith] Let's say in the last millennium.
[Raak] Yes!
[Rosie] No.
Concrete cows?
Related to ecclesiastical architecture?
[Simons Mith] No. But that would have been excellent had I thought of them.
[Raak] Yes! Raak wins three exclamation marks in a row and can now go for the big prize.
Bell towers?
A ruined abbey?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
Is it visible inside the church?
Are they in or part of a single building?
Stained glass?
[Raak] Yes!
[Tuj] Yes!
[Simons] No.
A rood screen?
The Tomb of the Unknown Warrior?
Is the church in question in England?
A font?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Bismarck] No.
Are all of them in a single church?
The spandrels on the northern side of the nave of the Church of St Peter and St Paul, Lavenham?
[CdM] Awww. I didn't even know St Peter and St Paul was dog-friendly.
Raak] Yes! (These things do exist in many churches, but the one I'm thinking of is only in the one church.)
[CdM] No. But definitely in the right sort of ballpark.
In London?
A Cheshire Cat?
An entrance or arch?
A Gargoyle?
[Raak] No.
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Chalky] No.
Is the church actually a cathedral?
A pipe organ?
(Please assume the above is in italics.)
Bespoke embroidered hassocks?
I'm sure there's some church that has done something unique with its hassocks
A great dome?
[Being more sensible again]
A pulpit?
[Boolbar] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Simons Mith] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the church Durham Cathedral?
[SM] I don’t think Great Domes are allowed into St Peter’s and St Paul’s.
[Raak] Yes! Out of all the cathedrals, why did you go for that one?
The Lego model of Durham Cathedral contained in Durham Cathedral?
Pure chance. I am also modestly ahead on all the lottery tickets I have ever bought.
A particular bible?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
Durham Cathedral's World Heritage Marker?
A collection box?
You get those everywhere ;-)
Is there a Harry Potter connection?
Is this thing specific to Durham Cathedral?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Bismarck] Yes! At least in the sense of the AOTC, which while all cathedrals have them to my knowledge, Durham's are unique, and don't forget the answer is quite specific.
The highest cathedra in Christendom?
Part of a tomb?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
Is it in the nave?
[Bismarck] Yes!
The tomb of a saint?
Something to do with the floor?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
I'm pretty stumped here. Am resisting Wikipedia though
There aren't that many things that you would find in the nave of a cathedral, Durham's are unique and there's a specific bit of one of them which is the answer on the card. Start with the obvious!
Something to do with the roof?
The first structural use of the pointed arch?
Not the answer
A sudden thought struck me - but it's Ely Cathedral that has a particular notable table in its nave at the moment.
1
1
555
1
555
1
555
1
555
[Boolbar] ...No.
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] Hint : not movable.
[1] No.
Since this is supposed to be a quite specific thing, the fortieth flagstone counting from the end?
Something to do with pillars?
Skateboard ramps?
It's a long shot, but I love the mental image of a bishop in full regalia doing an ollie
[Bismarck] No. Nice try, though.
[Boolbar] Yes! A verse of Hymn 116 breaks out in the audience.
[Simons Mith] No. Although there was that Bishop of Durham who might well have tried it had it been suggested.
They're carved, them pillars, is that it?
Is it a single one of the pillars?
[Bismarck] Yes! That is part of it.
[Raak] Yes! It is a part of that, too.
if you have never been to Durham Cathedral, then go now. If this is not possible, I don't suppose anybody would object to Googling some of the images of the pillars.
And...so...
Something to do with what material is used?
[Boolbar] No. Try guessing which pillar.
The fourth one on the right?
[CdM] No. But you're very close.
The fourth one on the left?
SimonsMith - Not that one. Hint: on the right.
Is it the way a pillar is carved?
[Boolbar] That is also an acceptable way of identifying the AOTC.
The fourth one on the left, coming from the other direction?
That wasn't quite as easy to work out as one might think. So
[CdM] Yes!
And I declare that to be the answer. Take this sculpted sandstone baton and go forth!
Congrats to CdM.
Is that pillar called the apprentice column? I have discovered a lot about Durham Cathedral (very educational this game) but that fact eluded me.
Apprenting
Yes, that's it. Luckily I stopped at ridiculously detailed answer and didn't go for asking for that error, or we'd still be here!
Whew.
Let’s follow that with a nice easy VEGETABLE
Does it rhyme with 'parrot'?
Wood?
Would it fit in my fridge?
Is it unique?
Rhymes with parrot? No. (Nor does it rhyme with "faddish", "holly flower", or "dead Babbage")
Wood? No.
Fridgeable? Yes.
Unique? No.
Does it have three syllables?
Trisyllabic? Yes!
Is it a fruit?
Is it perishable?
Does it having writing on it?
Is its Scrabble score > 15 ?
Ignoring double and triple word scores, but counting blanks as zero if there aren't enough of the right letters in a standard Scrabble set, and assuming a 50 point bonus for 8 letters or greater.
Obviously a word not valid in Scrabble scores zero
Fruit? No.
Perishable? Yes—but perhaps not especially so.
Inscribed? No.
Scrabble >15? According to the rules you specified, Yes.

A few clarifications/elaborations. I should have noted that there is usually a small MINERAL component and there can be an ANIMAL component. There is also a bisyllabic version of the AOTC (which would not score >15 in scrabble).
A processed food product?
Is a sport involved?
Is it commonly rectangular?
Processed food product? Yes (at least by the broad definition of "processed").
Sport involved? No.
Rectangular? ( a little laughter from the easily amused members of the audience ) No.
Is it green?
Amber?
Would it be found in the supermarket aisle where the crisps are?
Green? I hope not.
Amber? Not exactly, but that's in the right part of the spectrum.
Found with crisps? Interesting question. Sometimes, but it might also be found elsewhere.
Dried bananas?
Fizzy?
Dried bananas? No.
Fizzy? No.
Peanuts?
Peanuts? No.
Something you spread on bread and butter?
Opensandwichable? No.
Is it a rigid solid?
Is it a rhizome?
Is it spicy?
A crisp?
Does it have a mole in it?
Rigid solid? Solid—Yes. Rigid—It depends
Rhizome? No.
Spicy? Sometimes.
Crisp? No. (but a smattering of applause)
Moley? No.
Potato based?
Is the mineral salt?
Potato-based? No.
Salt? Salt is a very common ingredient. There might also be another mineral component, although it appears to be less common. (The possible ANIMAL component that I mentioned seems to be very unusual and is probably best ignored.)
(Also, in my answer to the "crisps" question, I said it might also be found elsewhere. That should not be understood to mean that the crisps aisle is the most likely place to find it in the supermarket.)
Crumpets?
As opposed to crumpet
Biscuit like?
Is more than one vegetable involved?
Crumpets? No.
Biscuit like? Um. Depends which dimension of buiscuitness you’re thinking about. I’ll say more No than yes.
More than one vegetable? Possibly, but the AOTC has one main distinctive vegetable ingredient.
Made from rice?
Rice-based? No.
Does it go hard when it's stale?
Bread?
Hard when stale? *audience murmurs in appreciation of the question* No.
Bread? See previous answer.
Is this edible in its natural form?
Made from a legume?
Originally Mesoamerican?
Do Kellogg's make a version?
Edible in natural form? Yes, technically.
Made from a legume? Yes.
Mesoamerican? No.
Made by Kellogg's? I'm pretty sure the answer is No.
Made from chick peas?
Baked beans?
A beanburger?
Chick peas? No.
Baked beans? No.
Beanburger? No.
Erratum: I have always identified the AOTC with one particular legume that has not yet been mentioned. However, further research reveals that there are variants, including the possibility of making the AOTC with chick peas.
Well now I can think of a two syllable word, but not the three.
Is the AOTC tofu-related?
Also, TIalsoL about Burmese chickpea tofu.
A waffle?
Pesto?
Soybeanish? No.
Waffle? No.
Pesto? No.
Poppadoms?
Lentil based?
A Poppadom (just one, I'm afraid) is indeed the AOTC! (So, yes, lentil-based). No one asked the P question. I and the audience were very taken with the fact that a poppadom actually goes soft when stale.

Have this rather fragile disc-shaped bato— erm, have these crumbs.
Does it -
Ah, too late, sorry.
Hmm. Thought of an ABSTRACT last night.
Begin with 'P'?
First mover.
Does it end with a 'P'?
At my age most things end with a 'p' at night.
Is it an -ism?
[P----P] No to both ends
[ism] No
A dream?
Is it the absence of something?
Is it the presence of nothing?
[Privatives, vaccuum] [No and nope]
[dreaming] Also no
Is the AOTC a single word?
Thought?
[unmarried word] yes
[thought] No.
Logic?
Could it exist in the absence of life?
[Logic] No
[Post-universal extinction] Yes.
Mathematical?
Inclement weather of some sort?
[Mathematical, weather] No twice.
Artistic?
[Artistic] ... Yes.
Beauty?
A colour?
[Beauty, colour] No and no.
Connected to music?
[Muscial] No...
A natural creation?
[Natural] No.
Is it something observable?
[Observable] Yes. [I did change my mind about this answer, but on reflection I decided you would have to narrow the definition of 'observable' significantly before it no longer fitted.]
A behaviour?
An instinct?
[Behaviour, instinct] No, you're all getting colder again.
When were we warm?
[Chalky] For me, some time around last September.
Is it spatially located?
[Spatial] No, not especially.
Would it exist if no-one were there to think of it?
[thoughtless existence] yes, I think
Entropy?
Aesthetic?
[Entropy] no
[Aesthetic] yes, but isn't that repetition?
A law of nature?
Recap 1
Artistic, observable, concept that is universal. Not an ism, nor related to maths/physics, seems unrelated to a being or personality.
Photosynthesis?
[legal, photonic] No and no.
[recap] Yes, pretty much.
Beauty?
Do you embody this?
[Radox] I see your pessimistic "1" ;)
Would it exist if the Earth and all its contents did not exist?
[Beatty] No.
[Tuj, embodiment] Do people embody it? No. If you meant in a broader sense, then maybe yes but you'll have to clarify.
[Independent of Earth's existence] No. I suppose it could maybe arise independent of Earth, but based on current knowledge I can only give a firm no.
A view?
[Hygge] Cute, but no.
[Views, whether vistas or opinions] No
Is it something observable using the sense of sight?
Is it an extreme?
[Extreme] No
[Observable using sight] No. I've been uncertain about the best answer to that for several days.
Would it be observable using a sensor for some other range of electromagnetic radiation?
Evil?
[Observable in EM] No.
[Evil] No.
Is it a sound?
Being foreign?
[Sounds] Yes (applause) Now you're getting somewhere...
[Furrin] Nah.
The Last Trump?
That riff from Also Sprach Zarathustra?
[Any number of Trump] Ingenious, but no.
[Also Sprach] Also no
Is the sound a song?
Is it a sound that most of us are likely to have heard?
It's an observable artistic sound which is unconnected to music. It's aesthetic, and not a natural creation, yet could exist in the absence of life and without anyone to think about it.
The Music of the Spheres?
Is it recorded on the Voyager discs, currently somewhere beyond Pluto?
Traffic noise?
A sound made by a fluid?
Zounds!
[Omnes] No. CdM gets a smattering, but even amongst this erudite crowd I can't see many of us having heard the AOTC. Still, I am of a STEM bent, and who knows what perversions students of, say, English get up to in private.
On second thoughts, I said "having heard the AOTC". Slightly better phrasing would have been "having heard an AOTC".
The sound of a tree falling, when there is no-one there to hear?
Is the sound recorded?
I remember in primary school I had a teacher who had a really old wax cylinder gramophone and once played a recording of Tennyson himself reading the "Charge of the Light Brigade".
[tree falling] No.
[audio recording] No. (A borderline answer, for the same reasons as whether it was sight-observable)
Is it artistic as a sound _qua_ sound?
The sound of one hand clapping?
[Artistic as a sound] Yes.
[One hand] No, too Zen
The sound of Raak hammering the taiko?
So I'm going for the double: is this a memory of a sound?
Is it known when this sound first occurred?
Over two months, better pull our socks up!
[taiko] No (Wish I'd thought of that as a q.)
[memory] Good guess, but no. (That too)
[known] Yes, actually. (Well, there's the usual scholarly quibbling)
An echo?
Is this sound only speech?
[Echo] No.
[Speech eech eech eech] No, more than speech.
The Big Bang?
Is it in a specific language?
Please ignore "in" of that's a better question...
[Bang] No
[Specific language] No. Trivia: The first one was in French, though
Is this "My Way", originally recorded as "Comme d'habitude"?
Since elapsed time is greater than a certain amount since the last proposition: is it anything to do with national anthems?
[Bismarck] No, twice. It's not musical
Something to do with recording sounds?
Is the sound made by a human?
[recordings] No
[human-made] Yes. At least, I don't think ChatGPT has had a go, yet
Is it linked to a specific occasion?
Summary:

Via negativa:
Does not end with a P.
Not an ism.
Not a dream.
Not the absence of something.
Not the presence of nothing.
Not thought.
Not logic.
Not mathematical.
Not bad weather.
Not beauty.
Not a colour.
Not connected to music... (those look like significant dots)
Not a natural creation.
Not a behaviour.
Not an instinct.
Not spatially located.
Not entropy.
Not a law of nature.
Not photosynthesis.
Not embodied by people.
Not independent of Earth's existence.
Not hygge.
Not a view (whether vista or opinion).
Not observable with sight.
Not an extreme.
Not observable by electromagnetic radiation.
Not evil.
Not being foreign.
Not the last trump
Not the 2001 theme.
Not a song.
Not a sound that most of us are likely to have heard.
Not the music of the sphere.
Not on the Voyager discs.
Not traffic noise.
Not a sound made by a fluid.
Not the sound of an unheard falling tree.
Not an audio recording.
Not the sound of one hand clapping.
Not taiko.
Not the memory of a sound.
Not an echo.
Not only speech.
Not the Big Bang.
Not in a specific language. (But the first one was in French.)
Not to do with national anthems.

Via positiva:
Is a single word.
Could exist in the absence of life.
Artistic.
Observable.
Would exist if no-one were there to think of it.
Aesthetic.
A sound! (The first real progress.)
An artistic sound.
A sound made by a human.

And not "My Way", originally recorded as "Comme d'habitude".
Does this sound come from a human vocal tract?
[Occasional] No.
[Human voice] Yes, it would do.
Is it the sound of someone imitating something?
Inarticulate?
[Imitation] No.
[Inarticulate] No.
I hope no-one is finding this too frustrating. I find it interesting how close you got and yet the right path has still managed to slip through the gaps between questions.
Is it ceremonial?
Is it humorous?
[SM] Surely you're the one whose frustration limit is most tested?
But is it art?
One originally French word is proving difficult, bien sur.
[Ceremonial] No
[Humerus] No.
[Repetition!] Yes
So it is art, and I win!?
Is it to do with poetry?
Presuming that artistic is the same as art, and so the puzzle continues. Now which of the Nine Arts could be referred to?
[winner?] No, but suddenly you're on the right lines
[Poetry] Yes. It's poetry. Claps and cheers from the audience
A sonnet?
Dies the Morniverse contain examples?
[Sonnet] No, but more claps
[Morniversal examples] No, not as far as I know. But I wouldn't put my shirt on it, because I haven't followed the poetry games very closely. It's possible.
Does it have a specific number of lines?
[Lines] Yes! Strong applause
Is the name of this form of poetry French?
Does it figure on this list?
[Two more yeses] Si and Oui.
A lai?
[Lai?] Non.
Was the first example composed before the 19th century?
A triolet?
[Pre-19th C] Bien sur
[Triolet] Non
A rondeau?
[rondeau, more like nondeau] Guess again.
Villanelle?
Raak did introduce this into the Morniverse over on Orange.
Bismarck has it
Villanelle is the right answer!

Sorry to be inadvertently misleading about there being Morniversal examples. I didn't know that had been done.
In lieu of a baton I shall pass over this lovely scroll sealed with wax.

*claps, cheers, generally goes wild*
Winning
Sorry about the delay, I had to go and lie down in a darkened room for the excitement to wear off. Unscrolling the scroll, I find this
MINERAL
concept for your delight. At least in the AVMA scheme of things, M seems the most appropriate: it might have bits of all of them.
Metalic?
Is it a Char D1 French light tank?
Is it fictional?
Is there just one of it?
And so it begins, unknowing...
[Software] Yes, largely so.
[Simons Mith] Not a French light tank of any kind. But a little bit warm.
[Boolbar] No, there is surely nothing more real.
[Raak] No, there are lots.
Something military?
Functional?
Would I have seen one frequently?
What roads cerebral will be taken...
[Raak] Not military. There may be military versions, but you won't find any book called Jane's Whatever-this-is.
[Chalky] What isn't?
[Radox] I'm pretty sure you're familiar with this.
A bicycle?
A steam locomotive?
Worth a shout even at the expense of cruel mockery.
Has it wheels?
Is it a machine?
In the quest, for only you
[Simons Mith] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Tuj] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
It is a means of transport?
In the AVMA scheme of things is Metal always 'functional'?
Can comprehend the unseen way...
[Raak] Yes. It's a machine with wheels.
[Chalky] Yes. Mineral, like Animal, Vegetable and Abstract, all have functions.
Does it transport people?
Has it an engine?
In words and images unthought...
[Chalky] Yes.
[Tuj] Yes, it is motorised.
Is it most gregarius?
Is it normally able to transport at least 10 people at a time?
To follow, lead or travel there...
[Simons Mith] Not sure what that means.
[Raak] After thought, yes, though it poses some uncomfortable questions.
An escooter?
A motor-bike and sidecar?
A Tesla?
Does it have a reverse gear?
To unreal phantomatic places ...
[Software] Not an electric scooter.
[Rosie] Not a motorbike with sidecar.
[Radox The Green] Not a Tesla.
[Tuj] !seY
Does it run on rails?
Transport for the disabled/mobility impaired?
Fork lift truck
Has it been in a movie chase scene?
Does it begin with P?
Where transports delightfully await...
[Raak] Not rail guided.
[Chalky] I hope not.
[Software] Not a forklift.
[Simons Mith] Had to look it up, but Yes!
[Tuj] Sadly not, at least none of the common synonyms begin with P.
Was it able to achieve 0-60mph by 1970?
Does the machine stay in one location while moving people around?
[Boolbar] You've given me the idea, and now I want to see a movie with a chairlift chase in it!
Those lost and numb to ordinary love...
[Simons Mith] Difficult to say. On balance, No.
[Boolbar] No. Nice lateral thinking though.
Are these road legal?
A steam roller?
A light aircraft?
Though still the sea kisses the golden shore...
[Raak] Yes, very legal.
[Simons Mith] Not a steam roller.
[Rosie] No. A piece of three-dimensional thinking there.
Is it made by a particular marque?
Does it run on electricity?
A boat of some kind?
One of those special airport vehicles?
The Popemobile?
I really want to imagine that's been in a chase scene
With skies aflame in the sun rising..
[Tuj] No, there are many.
[Raak] As of today, yes.
[Rosie] Not aquatic.
[Superman] I think you'd find them in airports too, but they aren't specific to airports.
[Simons Mith] Not the Popemobile.
Is it larger than the average car?
Of an endless dawn awaking...
[Tuj] Yes it is.
A railway coach?
Diddly-dee, diddly-da.
Is it a Bagger 288?
I'm sure they're road-legal...
A low-loader?
Would you reject this heaven...
[Rosie] Not a railway coach.
[Simons Mith] Not a Bagger of any size.
[Raak] Not a lo-loader.
Does it primarily carry things other than people?
A vehicle transporter?
A cherry picker?
And still remain, and still remain?
[Raak] Yes, it does other things than carry people.
[Chalky] Not a transporter.
[Simons Mith] Not a cherry picker.
Is it for transporting fluids?
Dustcart?
End on the high note, fat lady.
[Raak] Not really, no.
[Simons Mith] I had "bin lorry", but "garbage truck" and "dustcart" have been judged equivalent by Mycroft. Therefore take this recycled and slightly smelly baton and proceed!
[Bismarck] Thanks very much! I had been wondering whether the lyrics you've been posting were clues.

I'm going to pick... another MINERAL

It might be about time to kill off this game and start a fresh one. It is ~40,000 moves. When I checked back for past repetitions my browser started to struggle.
A diamond?
A manufactured object?
[diamond] No.
[manufactured] No.
Unique?
[unique] Also no.
Is it mined?
Is it solid?
Does it begin with P?
[mined] No
[solid] No
[P] No
Is it a constituent of seawater?
Is it bigger than Battersea Power Station?
Is it safely potable?
reasonably, to the average person, say
[constituent] Yes
[station-sized] No
[potable] Yes
Water?
[water] Yes Stock footage of WI ladies applauding
Bottled water?
Is it the name of a river?
Is the water contained within something specific?
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