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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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[Pro] Floater? - YES and maybe NO (we have established 2 parts)
Bucket and Spade? (the old kind)
Hurrah!!
A Bucket and Spade it is!

Gladly hands over the stick of rock to Projoy!

Gosh, that's very retro. Makes me think of those daft wooden tubs of ice-cream you can get... *looks around lounge for inspiration* Ah. OK. Let's try this:

MOSTLY MINERAL (+ some of the other two + abstract connections)
An ornamental geological specimen?
[Raak] OGS? NO, not really.
A room furnishing?
[irach] Room furnishing? NO
Oh, I just realised what occasioned those last two questions. The lounge angle is very unlikely to help.
Would this relate to archaeology?
A manufactured object?
[Dujon] Old Fossils? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? YEEEES, for some values of "manufactured", anyway. Definitely more than not.
A sculpture?
Made of stone?
Metalic?
INJ - Statuesque? NO
Raak - Stone? YES, mostly
Software - Metallic? Contains metal.
The toaster question
[INJ] Much bigger than said browning apparatus.
Is the metal part a plaque?
[Raak] The metal part?
Concrete?
Does any part of this thing bear an inscription?
A building?
[Software] Probably some concrete involved
[Raak] Inscribed? YES
[INJ] Constructive? YES
In London?
Open to the public?
A memorial?
[Rosie] London? YES
[INJ] Open to the public? YES AND NO
[Softers] Memorial? NO
Built before 1900?
[INJ] Pre-Labour Party? NO
*murmurs of surprise from the audience*
Is it in Trafalgar Square?
[Raak] Trafalgar? NO
Does it have a primarily commercial purpose?
[INJ] Moneyspinning? NO
Is it a tourist attraction?
The Royal Festival Hall?
[Raak] Tourism? There are defensible yes and no answers, I think. If pressed, I would say NOT REALLY.
[INJ] Herbert Morrison Remnant? NO
Do people work inside this building?
[Raak] Workplace? YES.
Mornington Crescent Tube station?
Transport House?
(Pj) Not the RFH, then?
[irach] The Hallowed Place? NO
[Rosie] John Smith House? NO
Oops. Misnomer there. It's not either of the Transport House
A place of entertainment?
[Rosie] entertainment? *audience laughter* NO
A location with political connections?
[irach] Poltical? YES, broadly.
Middlesex Guildhall?
Toynbee Hall?
Polly put the kettle on.
[Raak] Yes, you are correct. It is the Middlesex Guildhall, now the home of the UK Supreme Court, which starts work properly on Monday. I would have accepted "The Supreme Court" too, of course.
*hands gavel to Raak*
The next is mostly ANIMAL and VEGETABLE.
The members of the Supreme Court?
Dawlish Man U Supporters Club?
Food?
A herbivore of some kind?
[P] No :-)
[R] Devonian Macunian ex-pats? No.
[R] Not food.
[JJ] Yes, a herbovore is involved, nay, committed.
Damned beavers?
A horse and cart?
[D] No beavers.
[R] Not a horse and cart.
A mad cow?
A burger?
Is it a predator?
Is this one object?
[JJ] Not a mad cow.
[S] Not a burger.
[GIII] Not a predator.
[R] The answer is in the singular, but it's not a specific individual. (E.g. "A window-cleaner", rather than "The Eiffel Tower".)
Clothing?
[INJ] Not clothing.
This thing has Abstract connections as well.
Is the animal part a by-product?
[P] There are no byproducts, only products other than the one you were trying to make.
A Damien Hirst?
[JJ] Sharks in formaldehyde? No.
Is it a construction/building?
Trying to clear the fog.
Is it larger than a toaster?
[S] Not a construction or building.
[P] Yes! Bigger than a toaster.
But is it art?
[GIII] *applause* Yes! It is (associated with) art!
Used in the display of a work of art?
Some kind of pigment?
[R] Not an easel, picture rail, plinth, gallery, web site, or object of like nature.
[JJ] Not a pigment.
I am taking "art" in the general sense, not just pictures.
Larger than a phonebox?
[P] Not larger than a phonebox.
Animal part human?
[S] Not human. (Herbivore, remember.)
Is the animal part, leather?
[INJ] *applause* The audience were getting desperate for something to applaud. The animal part is leather.
An armchair?
Does its shape resemble a lamina (i.e., does it have immaterial depth)
A saddle (the vegetable part being wood)
[S] Not an armchair, however artistically made.
[GIII] Not laminate.
[i] (a) Not a saddle. (b) Yes! The vegetable part is wood.
Specific to a certain culture?
A gaucho's bolas?
Elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[CdM] Yes, specific to a certain culture.
[i] Not a bolas.
[INJ] Not an EFUS.
A drum of some kind?
Does it have any stuffing?
[CdM] *APPLAUSE* It is a drum of some kind.
[GIII] No stuffing.
I'll be away and offline for the weekend from mid-afternoon on Friday, so you'd better get it solved by then.
A Lambeg Drum?
A tabla?
[R] Not a Lambeg.
[GIII] Not a tabla.
A bodhran?
Asian?
[INJ] Not a bodhran.
[GIII] Yes, Asian.
dhol?
[P] Not a dhol.
Would this be more likely to be found in the Asian sub-continent than in Asia proper?
A mridangam?
[D] I'm not sure what distinction you're drawing there. Asia.
[i] Not a mridangam.
Primarily Chinese?
[INJ] Not Chinese.
A Taiko drum?
[GIII] *the audience burst into a 3-hour Miyake improvisation* You have hit the drum on the head! One bachi passed to the winner.
Huzzah!
Right, I'll try to be as responsive as I can, but may only be able to answer on a daily basis some of the time. We'll keep it reasonably easy (I hope).

ABSTRACT
Human construct?
A manifestation of the physical world?
[CdM] Made up by humans? YES
[Rosie] Not 100% sure I get your meaning, but I'm fairly confident the answer is NO.
Related to a specific culture?
linguistic connections?
[Software] Cultural? NO
[INJ] Except insofar that the answer is formed of word(s), NO.
A philosophy?
(G III) (First question) - I meant something like heat, cold, humidity etc.
[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification. Still NO then.

[Rosie] A philosophy? NO
Begins with a P?
Related to emotions?
[Tuj] P'ed? NO
[INJ] Audience oohs and whispers. Emotional? NO, not directly.
An intellectual process?
[Rosie] A process? NO
To do with music?
Associated with a specific time period or place?
[Software] Laaa! NO
[INJ] In general, NO, but to some people, probably YES.
artistic connections?
To do with belief?
[INJ] But is it art? NO
[Software] A believer? Good question. NO
Some form of memory?
A single word answer?
Nostalgia?
[Rosie] A memory? NO
[Tuj] Just one word? YES! *some applause and general relief*
[Dujon] Vera Lynn? NO.
An action?
Connected to this game?
[INJ] Action? NO
[Tuj] Connected thinking? NOT DIRECTLY
may be time for a clue soon.
Intelligence, in some form?
Dreaming?
[Rosie] Intelligentsia? NO, but not unrelated
[Software] Nocturnal activity? *healthy applause*: NO
Some form of wish?
[Rosie] Wishful thinking? NO
An idea?
Daydream?
[Tuj] Idea? YES, in a way
[Software] Daydream? NO, wrong direction I'm afraid.
Insomnia
Reality?
Nightmare?
[INJ] Wakefulness? NO
[Rosie] Reality? NO
[Software] Mare? NO
some lateral thinking required.
Anything to do with sex?
The mind?
[Rosie] Something to do with sex? YES make of that what you will
[Tuj] The mind? NO, (and yes but that's less helpful).
A result of sexual activity?
I'm going to sleep.
Necessarily to do with reproduction?
A fantasy?
Fictional?
Hmm, along rather the wrong lines at the moment.

[Rosie] Afterglow? NO
[Projoy] Necessary? DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW. For most people, NO
[Software] Fantastical? NO
[Tuj] A fiction? DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW ;-)
A sexual activity?
[Projoy] Sexual activity? NO
To do with sex in the sense of "gender"?
[Projoy] Gender specific

Clue (but not really). Think about dreams (healthy applause but not the right answer) and being to do with sex.
An imaginary thing?
related to a man's world?
[Projoy] Imaginary? I think we can safely say YES
[Dujon] Manly? Not specifically.
An ideal?
[Software] Ideal? NO
A fantasy?
[Rosie] I refer you to an earlier answer. NO.

Think about dreams. Someone else did...
To do with being female?
Actually, scrub that. Is it connected with the subconscious?
[Projoy] Subconscious? *audience applause* YES!
The id?
The superego?
[CdM] Let's not just rush in with a random guess.
Subliminal?
[Software] Sublime? NO
[Projoy] Superlative self? NO
[CdM] Id? *Audience gasps with the audacious guess, then rapturous applause* YES! The word on the card was Id. One baton winging its way over to CdM...
A bit of a lurker's victory, I'm afraid. So I'll atone with a nice easy VEGETABLE.
Is this a LARGE vegetable? ;)
Large? It is neither large nor otherwise.
Edible?
Grass?
Edible? Yes.
Grass No.
*coff* Begins with a P?
Got a feeling it will =)
Is it a vegetable?
Begins with a P? Absolutely not.
A vegetable? No.
A collective noun, e.g. blossom?
Collective noun? No.
Is it man-made?
[CdM] Burst my bubble, eh?
Man-made? I'm not sure one would usually use that term, but the answer is Yes in the sense that it is processed.
Potato crisps/chips?
Chrisps? No.
Canned?
Tofu?
Canned? Can be, but not usually.
Tofu? No.
Is this comprised of a type of tuber?
Can it be fed to animals?
Just need to get that out of my head.
Tuberous? No.
Fed to animals? Um, I don't see any reason why it couldn't be, although perhaps there is something I don't know about animal digestion that would preclude it. I don't think it is fed to animals on any kind of established or regular basis. On the other hand, googling around to investigate that question, I discovered that -- to my surprise -- I should have labeled this "VEGETABLE AND SOMETIMES ANIMAL".
Is it an ingredient in something that is consumed by humans?
Does it consist of multiple small elements?
e.g. Muesli
Some form of oil?
Ingredient? Sometimes, yes.
Mueslish? No.
Oil? No.
Is it something extracted from a plant (or sometimes animal)?
Extracted from a plant? Yes. *applause* (Extracted from an animal? No.)
As a small clue, the "sometimes animal" is not an avenue that you will find worth pursuing. I did not know of the animal connection and would be amazed if anyone here did.
Is it a liquid?
Liquid? Yes.
Fruit smoothie?
Smoothie? No.
Is it a brand name?
Does it have therapeutic qualities?
A syrup (e.g. corn or maple?)
An essential oil (i.e. perfume)?
Does it come in a variety of flavours?
Cutting to the chase
The words on the card are Maple Syrup, and so I will pass a fine hand-carved maplewood baton to irach. Apparently, manufacturers sometimes use a tiny amount of lard (or other animal or vegetable fat) to reduce foaming while boiling the maple sap. So your maple syrup may in fact contain about 0.003% lard. Vegetarians take note.
Lard-dee-dah!!
This one is Mostly MINERAL with possibly abstract connections
Mostly metal?
Does one wear it?
Man made?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Not metal
[Raak] Not worn.
[Software] Not man-made
[Tuj] No "P" involved.
Mostly stone?
[CdM] Not mostly stone.
Does it currently exist?
A terrestial object or phenomenon?
[Tuj] Does currently exist.
[Dujon] Yes , a terrestrial object; many may also describe it as phenomenal.
Mostly harmless?
[CdM] Hmmmm... yes, for the vast majority of people it is, and has been harmless.
Is it unique?
Bigger than Wales?
Mostly water?
[Tuj] Unique? Certainly.
[Raak]Not bigger than Wales
[CdM] Mostly water? Yes!!!
Is it a lake?
The Ganges?
[Raak] Not a lake.
[Dujon] Not the Ganges.
Mostly freshwater?
Is the water liquid?
[CdM] Freshwater.
[Raak] Almost always liquid. In rare instances has been known not to be.
In a single country?
Niagara Falls?
[Tuj] Two nations.
[CdM] Yes.... Niagara Falls it is... the falls froze over completely in 1911...An icicle baton is handed off to you...
Me again? OK, a nice easy ANIMAL this time.
Human?
Human? No.
Dead?
Dead? Um. Well, I think the correct answer is that it was never really alive. Which might make you wonder if it is actually animal at all -- and I admit that I have had to think hard about that. My conclusion is that it *is* animal, though I could see someone making the case that it is vegetable. And still never really living. Or not exactly. Confused? So am I, despite the fact that it really is a simple AVMA topic.
Smaller than a pinhead?
Begins with a P?
Edible?
Fictional?
A Snark, as in the Lewis Carroll poem (Boojum or not)?
Insufficient room for angels? It is of no specific size, but it is not smaller than a pinhead?
Begins with P? No.
Edible? Yes. *some audience chuckling at the juxtaposition of the last two questions*
Fictional? No.
Snarky? No.
Is it unique?
A mineral, despite the classification?
Of marine origin?
Limestone?
Unique? No. (actually, not really a relevant question)
Mineral? No.
Marinal? No.
Limestone? No.
A brain?
A fossil?
Brain? No. (I don't think there would be any ambiguity there.)
Fossil? No. (Not mineral.)
Yeast?
Yeast? No.
Insect like?
liquid?
Insect-like? No (but some *applause*)
Liquid? Usually, yes.
Royal Jelly?
Sorry to ask 2 in a row, but it's a long time between them.
An oil?
Royal jelly? No, but *loud applause*.
Oil? No.
Honey?
Tree sap?
Honey is correct. Is honey more like milk (surely animal), or regurgitated carrots (probably stlll vegetable)? I think the answer is milk, but I'm not sure. *hands somewhat sticky baton to Raak*
The next is MINERAL and ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections.
Water off a duck's back?
[i] Not water off (or on) a duck's back.
Is the mineral component metal?
Rats! I was hesitating between Honey & Royal Jelly and decided that I would have put honey as more vegetable-ish.
Human animal?
{S} Not human.
Exceeding dimensional equivalence with a domestic bread grilling machine?
And my metal question?
[INJ] Oops, yes, mostly metal. Bigger than a toaster.
Animal leather?
Is it unique?
Any artistic connections?
[R] Not leather.
[T] Not unique.
[INJ] Yes, artistic, broadly understood.
Movable?
[S] Erm....yes, movable.
Associated with film or television?
Found in the home?
[INJ] applause! Associated with film or television.
[R] laughter! Not found in the home.
Begins with a P?
[T] Does not begin with a P. Bonus answer: there is not a single P on the card.
[Raak] Have you checked on the back as well?
[CdM] It's a Möbius card.
Associated with the *creation* of film or TV content?
[Raak] Ah, ok. Have you checked the edge?
A dalek?
[INJ] Not a dalek.
Pinewood studios
[S] Not a film director's tree hut.
[CdM] Associated with the creation of film or TV content? Like, equipment, screenplays, production crew, etc? No.
TV?
(Rather than film)
[INJ] Yes, TV rather than film.
Dr. Who's Tardis phone booth?
[i] Bigger inside than out? No.
A location or set?
[R] Not a location or set.
Associated with a specific TV programme?
Associated with Star Trek?
[Tuj] Yes, associated with a specific TV programme.
[P] Boldly going? No.
Associated with a children's TV programme?
[K] Not children's TV.
British TV?
[CdM] Not children's TV.
[CdM] Ahem. Yes, British TV.
Red Dwarf?
[S] Not Red Dwarf.
TV drama?
[K] Not TV drama.
Is the animal a character in the TV show (such as Skippy the Wonder Horse)?
[CdM] Not a character.
Comedy?
[S] Yes, comedy.
Monty Python?
[S] *applause* It is Monty Python!
That is, it is from Monty Python. Still a way to go.
The University of Wallamaloo?
Bibo ergo sum.
A Norwegian Blue in a cage?
[R] Not UW.
[CdM] Not pining for the fjords.
Dead bird and cage in the " Dead Parrot" skit?
[i] CdM just asked that.
Does it feature in one of their films?
[GIII] It doesn't feature in any of their feature films, but I couldn't swear that it's not in things like The Secret Policeman's Ball.
Is the animal actually a single animal?
[INJ] some applause Not a single animal.
All things dull and ugly?
[CdM] Not all things dull and ugly.
A bucketful of piranha?
Only a bit larger than a toaster.
[R] *a scattering of applause* Not a bucketful of piranhas.
The zinc stoat?
[S] Not the zinc stoat.
Spiny Norman?
Never mind; that's a single animal.
the name of a species?
[CdM] Not a Spiny Norman.
[P] (Consults Wikipedia.) Can be the name of a species.
From Series 1?
[P] (Consults Wikipedia.) (Consults Google.) (Consults Wikipedia.) (Consults Wikipedia again. Did you know that Line 6 of the Beijing Subway (北京地铁６号线) is currently under construction and is scheduled to be opened in 2012? And that the Öjendorfer See has an area of 460,000 m²?) Yes, Series 1.
A blind bat
(A nod's as good as a wink, know what I mean, say no more)
A hovercraft full of eels?
[P] Not a blind bat.
[INJ] *stock footage of women applauding* It is a hovercraft full of eels! I'm afraid we're all out of batons at the moment, will spam do?
My nipples explode with delight.
Well if that hadn't been correct I think I would have given up.

So, here we go again with a simple ANIMAL

Human?
[SW] Human - YES (there's a good start)
Alive?
Couldn't last
[Rosie] Alive? - NO
Fictional?
[PJ] Made-up name? - NO
Mainly known for artistic connections?
Rattling along nicely
[Raak] Arty-farty? - YES
Died in C20th?
Performer (broadly defined) rather than creator?
(intending no slight to the creative aspects of performance...)
Begins with P?
Pablo Picasso?
Well, come on, Tuj has to be correct once in a while :)
William Morris?
[PJ] died in C20? - NO
[CdM] Performer? - NO (* a few chuckles in the audience*)
[Tuj] P starter? - NO
[Dujon] Picasso? - I'm not going to tell you - (anyway, who's going to set an answer beginning with P now?)
[Rosie] A minor Morris? - NO
Politician?
[Software] Politician? - NO
Died in the C18th or earlier?
[PJ] Ancient? - NO
Died in C21?
By a process of elimination.........
[PJ] Just gone? - NO
OK I give in - died in the 19th century.
Born in the C19?
Deduction r us.
Female?
[Pj] Born in C19? - YES
[CdM] Weaker sex? - NO *ducks missiles from audience*
A painter?
Was English his mother tongue?
Novelist?
British, dammit?
I always think not logging on over the weekend is a good sign
[Rosie] - Painter? - NO
[CdM] Anglophone? - YES
[Pj] Novelist? - NO
[Software] British? - YES
A poet?
[Raak] Poet? - YES *applause*
Tennyson?
I know lurking on AVMA is bad form. I apologise.
It's OK if your guess is wrong
[nights] Tennyson? - NO
Ralph Waldo Emerson?
Let the guessfest commence
[Projoy] RWE? - NO (he's not very British)
Edward Lear?
Are his works typically found on school curricula?
Just trying to get some sense of how major/minor a poet he is. If the question is too vague or difficult to verify, feel free to give me some other kind of answer to the question!)
[Projoy] Pleasant to know? - NO
[CdM] Major/Minor? - I would expect to find him on some school curricula. I expect the vast majority of morniverse contributors to have heard of him without googling.
Robert Browning?
[Projoy] Gravy poet? - NO ([CdM] a poet of a similar public stature to Browning IMO, if that helps)
Kipling?
[Software] An exceedingly good poet? - NO (I haven't checked, but I know he made it well into the C20th)
Gerard Manley Hopkins?
[Projoy] That might or might not be right, but knowing INJ as I do, I can tell you that it is an inspired guess
Associated with a particular region of the world?
[Projoy] GMH? - YES!!! HOPKINS it is.

One instressed baton handed on.

[Projoy] Told you so.
The Projoypartner has recently been very into Inversnaid...

ABSTRACT
Photography?
[Rosie] flash flash grin grin? - NO
Phrase or saying?
Related to the arts?
[Sw] phrase/saying? NOT REALLY (I suppose it is a phrase, strictly speaking)
[INJ] Arts-related? NO.
Something to do with Scotland?
culturally specific?
Seasonal?
[GIII] Scottish? OCH, NO.
[INJ] Culturally specific? YES
[Software] Seasonal? YES *applause*
Christmas-related?
[You and Your Kin(rah)] X-mas the spot? YES! *more applause*
A Christmas Carol?
Santa-related?
[Softers] Christmas Carol? NO
[INJ] Fat trespasser? NO
Does the word "Christmas" appear on the card?
[CdM] Christmas/Card? NO
Seasons greetings?
[SW] Seasons Greetings? NO
Also related to legs?
[Duj] Legs? Um, NO.
Musical connection?
[CdM] Musicky? NO
A state of mind or body?
[Rosie] State? NO
Is the specific culture that of the English-speaking Christian peoples?
Religiousness?
[INJ] Specific to Anglophone Xtians? YES, pretty much.
[Chalky] Religiosity? NO (I'm assuming that was a guess).
Primarily concerned with the religious rather than secular aspects of Christmas?
The Nativity?
[CdM] Spirit over Secularity? NO
[Chalky] The Nativity? NO.
Primarily commercial in nature?
[Chalky] Good to see you back contributing.
[INJ] Commercial? NO (although there is an historical link with commerce)
Food-related?
[Phil yer phace] Phood? NO.
Merry Christmas?
[GL] "Merry Christmas" - NO, not the phrase itself but The Answer could form part of the phrase's referent.
*sounds of discontented pedantic muttering in audience*
The season to be jolly?
Had that in my head for a while, need to get rid of it.
[Kinrah] TSTBJ? NO, but see referent comment above.
Connected to some specific Christmas tradition?
Does it describe a period of time?
[CdM] Specific Tradition? YES
[INJ] Period of time? YES *applause
New Year's Day?
Christmas Day?
Boxing Day
To complete the set
INJ has it! Whereas the other two are Xtian (in general) dates, Boxing Day is more a Commonwealth affair. Over to INJ. *hands box-shaped baton to INJ*
Pausing only to take the ribbon and bow off the baton
OK then, this one is Animal or Vegetable (with Abstract connections)
A musical instrument?
[Raak] Instrumental? - NO
Is it edible?
[Tuj] Food, glorious food? - NO
Manufactured?
As you state Animal OR Vegetable - is this an either/or - or can it be both?
[and thanks INJ for welcome back. I am healing - slowly but shurely :)]
[Projoy] Manufactured - YES
[Chalky] Animal/Vegetable? - Either/Or is probably the most helpful, but in both cases that would be predominantly, rather than entirely.
Is it found indoors?
If animal, then a specific part of an animal?
[Chalky] Indoors? - YES
[Rosie] Specific part of an animal? - YES (at least for the predominant part)
Thinking about my answer to Chalky, the 'predominantly' bit, although true, is probably not helpful. From now on I will ignore the minor elements in my answers unless specifically asked.
Sticky in texture?
Is the vegetable wood?
(I don't think that's the same question as Software just asked...)
Begins with P?
[Chalky] A hearty welcome back from over here too =)
Is the animal bone?
[Software] Like a stick? - NO
[CdM] Like a big stick? - NO
[Tuj] P....? - NO
[Rosie] Bonie? - NO
Does its name describe its function?
Leather?
Like Dan and Dunx, it is well known that Rosie and Raak are the same person, an 80 year old hedgehog-trapper living in the New Forest.
Some sort of covering?
Perfume?
[Projoy] Does what it says on the tin? - NO
[Raak] Leather? - YES - that is the animal component - at least, that's easily a better answer than No
[GLog] A covering? - NO
[Rosie] Smellie? - NO
A lucky rabbits foot?
[Software] Cruelty to lapines? - NO
Functional?
Larger than a toaster?
Is the vegetable a fabric?
[CdM] Functional? - NO * A few 'tut's from a small minority of the audience*
[Chalky] That toaster question - Similar in total volume, depending on the toaster, but differently shaped.
[Projoy] A fabric? - NO (though we might get into a discussion of definitions)
Is it written on?
[Projoy] Written on? - YES *Applause*
Is it a scroll?
Is The Answer the name of a type of document?
[Raak] Scroll? - NO
[Projoy] A type of document - NO - but *applause*
Ornamental?
[Chalky] Ooh, innit pretty? - NO - at least not primarily (or secondarily, or tertially, come to that)
Not Functional/Ornamental - how about Educational?
[Chalky] Educational? - NO (to most values of 'Educational') - some would disagree quite strongly
A plaster cast?
A book?
Is there a specific kind of writing to be found thereon?
[Software] Plaster Cast? - NO
[Chalky] Book? - YES
[Projoy] specific kind of writing? - NO
To summarise, it's a book primarily made of leather that isn't funtional, ornamental or educational?
The Bible?
A specific title.
I hope Rosie has it.
An autograph book?
Getting close
[GLogin] Remember: either Animal or Vegetable
[Rosie] The Bible? - YES, *Applause* But you have not yet got the words on the card
[Projoy] A specific Title? - YES
[Raak] Sign here please? - NO
The Authorised King James Version?
A Gutenberg Bible?
A Gideon's Bible?
We have a winner.
Projoy has it - A/The Gutenberg Bible it is. There were about 180 Gutenberg bibles, about 40 printed on vellum and the rest on paper, giving the either/or.

A leather-bound baton passed on to Projoy

Splendid. OK. Here's another. ABSTRACT/ANIMAL
Is the animal element human?
[Kinrah] Animal human? Strictly speaking, NO. *audience laughter and cries of "bad luck!"*
Is it a mythical animal?
Fictional?
[GL] Mythical? NO
[CdM] Fictional? YES
Best known from Film or TV?
[INJ] Best known from film or TV? NOT SURE. I expect that some would say yes, others no, but no stats available.
(PS. For myself and probably for yourself, the answer would be NO, I suspect.)
The Christmas elf?
[Software] Winterval wellbeing? NO
A character in literature later adapted for the screen?
[INJ] Book > Screen? *much animated whispering in audience* Strictly, NO. *continued animated whispering in audience*
Character in a comedy?
[Rosie] Comedy? YES *applause*
Associated with a particular actor?
[CdM] Particular Actor? Mm. NOT SURE. To me the answer is YES, but it wouldn't be to everyone.
Bottom?
Begins with P?
[Duj] I beg your par... oh, you mean the series Bottom. NO.
[Tuj] P-led? NO
An animated character? [or have we established this and I'm being a bit thick]
Archie Andrews?
[Chalky] Animated? NO
[Rosie] The uneducated one? NO.
From children's literature?
Were they adapted for the stage before TV or film?
[CdM] Kidlit? NO
[GL] A previous stage? NO
Addendum
[INJ] On further thought, I feel like I should change my answer to your adaptation question. As you phrased the question: "A character in literature later adapted for the screen?" the truthful answer is YES, but this isn't a wholly typical case, so check your assumptions.
From works of Shakespeare?
[Chalks] Bardly? *audience laughter* NO.
Is this more than one character?
Is it related to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
[Chalky] Multiple? NO
[GL] TLOEG? NO.
Adapted from comics/graphical novels?
Supernatural?
Male?
[INJ] Graphic? NO
[Softers] Supernatural? NO, at least not in the conventional sense.
[Chalky] Male? YES].
In a radio programme?
[INJ] Radio? YES *tumultuous applause*
Won't have 2 guesses in a row, but I think we're close
Well - your addendum helped
Slartibartfast?
From HHGTTG?
Marvin?
[GL] He said it wasn't important? NO
[INJ] H2G2? YES *applause*
[Software] Brain the size...? NO
Ford Prefect?
Zaphod Beeblebrox?
Freow.
[Kinrah] You have hit the subject on one of its two heads! It was ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX, indeed. As you can see, my confusion over the adaptation question arose because of course, while the screen versions followed the book version chronologically, they didn't do so adaptationally, as it were. Plus of course, the character didn't originate in the books.

Over to you, Kinrah. *Hands over a perspex baton shaped like a cricket stump, just before there is the sound of a million billion people saying "Wop"*
I was trying to weigh up whether to go for Zaphod or the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (which has the potential to be part animal), even though I have just realised [Tuj] ruled that out with his 'P' question. Whee. Now, let's see if I can get the formatting right with
ABSTRACT/ANIMAL connections
This shouldn't be too difficult.
Begins with a P?
Glad to see my usual question served a small purpose, Kinrah!
Is it a fictional person?
Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer - the song?
*correction* RudolPH The Red NoseD Reindeer - the song?
[Tuj] P-aff? *audience laugh... then applause* YES
[GL] Imaginary? NO
[Chalky] Lyric of an oddly coloured creature? NO
Seasonal connections?
A work of art?
[INJ] Seasonally speaking? NO
[Projoy] Arty-farty? NO
Are the animal connections human?
Connected with science?
[Tuj] Humanimal? YES
[Projoy] Psy-ense? After giving it some careful thought, SOMETIMES (but the connection there really isn't worth following)
Culturally specific?
Is it related to psychology?
Involves an action or actions?
To do with religion?
[INJ] Cultural terms? NO
[GL] Psycho-analytic? NO
[Rosie] Requiring effort? NO
[Projoy] Belief system? NO
A feature of the intellect?
Related to politics or public life?
Is The Answer a noun or noun phrase?
[Rosie] Intellectual? NO *audience whispers among itself*
[INJ] Political? NO
[Projoy] Nounal? YES
I've also been considering the science question, and much like Projoy, I'm going to do a bit of a U-Turn; YES FOR A GIVEN VALUE OF SCIENCE. I believe it could be called a science by some people.
A social science?
Connected to the "Paranormal"?
[Projoy] Socially scientific? NO
[GL] Paranormal? NO
To do with the natural world?
Was it invented?
[Projoy] Natural? NO
[Tuj] Created? YES *audience applause*
Is it a type of person?
[Projoy] Demographic? NO
A theory? (Of anything)
Does it exist?
[Rosie] Theory? NO but *very loud applause from audience*
[Projoy] Existential? YES
Heredity?
Something that exists both in theory and in practice?
[Rosie] Passed down? NO
[Projoy] Works both ways? YES
Connected to economics?
Is it really really really small?
Is it a one word answer?
Is it something that can be studied in a reasonably mainstream environment?
Does it end with a Y?
Is it a process?
Sorry about the so long gap - had a LOT of stuff to do over the end of the weekend.
[Projoy] Economical? NO
[Tuj] Teensy-Weensy? DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU ARE COMPARING IT TO *audience laugh*
[Chalky] Just the one? NO
[INJ] Mainstream? YES
[GL] Why-y? NO
[Projoy2] Process? NO *more hushed whispers from audience*
A human activity?
Related to games or entertainment?
A cartoon?
Any medical connections?
[Projoy] Active? NO
[INJ] Move that joystick? NO
[Software] Cartoon? NO
[Rosie] Doctor, Doctor? STRICTLY NO (There is one connection, but it's so far gone from the standard question bounds that it's also not worth looking into.)
Since this is taking much longer than I anticipated (I really hope it's not because I'm giving the wrong answers) as a sort of first hint here's a roundup of what you do know.
Begins with P
Given value of science
Noun
It was invented
Audience gave loud applause to Theory
It exists
It works in both theory and practice
Studied in a mainstream environment
Also, it seems the audience have changed their mind and decided to give some rather late *loud applause* for 'Process'.
The Peter prinicple?
Can we change the audience?
Associated with business or commerce?
Parkinson's Law?
To do with the internets?
Pi?
Sorry if it's been mentioned. I'm ever so wrung out.
[Rosie] Incompetence rising? NO *audience laugh... then quickly fall silent*
[INJ] Businesslike? YES (but in the same way as Theory and Practice)
[Software] Filling the time available? NO
[Projoy] Intarwebs? NO
[Dujon] 3.14? NO-*is deafened by audience applause*
A pie-chart?
Is The Answer a type of number?
Probability?
[INJ] Sliced diagram? NO
[Projoy] Numerical? YES *more applause from the audience*
[Software] What's the chance? NO
Prime number(s)?
Pascal's triangle?
INJ's got it.
Planck's Constant?
Please, miss, can I have another go?
Pythagorus' Theorem?
No, not a theory. How about Fermat's Conjecture?
[INJ] Itself and one? NO
[Rosie1] Triangular numbers? NO
[Rosie2] Quantum mechanics? NO
[Projoy1] Square of the Hypotenuse? N- *audience explodes into applause* NO
[Projoy2] Pythagoras no greater than two? N- *audience applauds even louder, if that's even possible* NO
I'm probably spiraling out from the core but (it goes by a number of names) -"The Golden Square"?
Phi, the Golden Ratio?
If this is right, the winner should really be Dujon.
[Dujon, Rosie] Shiny yellow maths? NO *audience shout "Colder!"*
Pythagoreanism?
Poincaré's conjecture?
Had forgotten it started with P...
(a) Perfect Number(s)?
[Software] Mathematician Philosophy? NO *a few claps from audience*
[Projoy] Ball manifolds? NO
[INJ] Something we've yet to hear from Colin Sell? NO *audience ooh quietly*
Are we in the world of geometry here?
(I was about to suggest a platonic solid, but then realised that the whole point of them is that they don't exist in the real world.)
Oh, it's not a (mathematical) proof, is it?
Can I just say, btw, that this AVMA is (a) bloody hard and (b) very enjoyable.
[Projoy] Shaping the world? YES
(Taking the other one as a question as well) [Projoy2] Demonstrating true maths? YES
Glad you like it. I still hope that it's not taking this long because I'm answering the questions wrong. Just for another hint though; one of the questions I answered NO to earlier has got something to do with the answer, but I took the question to mean the definite article, as it were, because that's what I suspect it was intended as.
Pappus' Theorem?
Getting a bit arcane.
Polynomials?
A protractor?
I know it's wrong but I have to get it out of my head. I generally think it's a bad thing to know the first letter. Leads to all kinds of weird guesses.
Does the answer include the name of a mathematician?
I was sure Software was right until I noticed the answer to the "proof" question.
Is it, in fact a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem?
[Rosie] Surface areas? NO
[Software] Maths expression? NO
[Projoy] Angle measurer? NO
[CdM] Clue in the name? YES *audience applause*
[Projoy2] Proving the square? YES *more applause*
A Pythagorean Triple?
We're there.
[Rosie] Correct, it was indeed a Pythagorean Triple!
My confusion with some of the earlier questions arose when trying to work out whether mathematics could be classed as a science or not. But by reaching the correct answer I can rest easy knowing that if any of my answers were wrong, they weren't so wrong as to block out the answer completely.

One triangular baton handed over to Rosie.
(I can't resist pointing out that although I had never previously heard of "a Pythagorean triple", I still came quite close to winning that round! Good clues.)
*can't resist pointing out that she has never heard of a Pythagorean Triple and didn't even come close to asking any relevant questions but happily embraces fresh knowledge*
3,4,5 and all that
(Projoy, Chalky) Yes, I'd agree it doesn't quite trip off the tongue in the same way that Pythagorean Triangle does though it is a quite genuine mathematical term. BTW, did you know that 3 cubed plus 4 cubed plus 5 cubed equals 6 cubed?
OK, this is ANIMAL
Human?
(Projoy) Human? - YES.
Watt?
I'll go away now.
Still Alive?
(Dujon) Mr Steam Engine? - alas, NO.
(GL) Alive? - YES. Still alive? - A separate question
In entertainment?
Fictional?
(Softers) Entertainment? - NO, and for some, not in any way whatsoever.
(Projoy) Fictional? - NO. You may have been misled by my supplementary to Gusset Login in which I had taken his question to be "Alive and very old?" This person exists.
Born before 21st December 1969?
Born before 1940?
(Gusset Login) - A fortified over-forty? - YES.
(Projoy) At least a couple of years older than me? - YES.
Begins with P?
This question definitely coloured the last round strongly, although I'm not sure for better or for worse.
(Tuj) - Won't help here - does not begin with P.
Would a wheelchair come into this equation?
(Dujon) - Wheelchair-bound? - NO
Male?
(Gusset Login) - Male? - He is.
Political?
British?
(Softers) - Political? - NO .
(Projoy) - British? - NO.
Scientific?
American?
(Softers) - Scientist? - NO.
(Projoy)- American? - YES.
An entertainer?
(Chalky) - Entertainer? - Strictly speaking NO, but see Softers' first question. *some scattered mild applause*
Sporting?
(Projoy) - Sporting connection? - NO, none known.
Professorial?
(Softers) - Not a professor
Journalist?
(Projoy) - Hacking away? - NO.
In architecture?
(Projoy) - NO, not an architect. I know very little about American architects.
Does he belong in the broad category of 'religious'
(Dujon) - Known for his religion? - NO, although he is actually quite devout. Happy Christmas, mate.
A writer?
Would this man have connection with Jazz (perhaps as a clarinet player)?
DAMN!
Please ignore that question, Rosie.
(Projoy) - Not a writer.
(Dujon) OK, if you insist. *audience turn to each other, bewildered.*
Military?
You brushed aside 'entertainer' (Chalky's query and Software's earlier reference). As I find jazz entertaining therefore my second thought.
Would this man have connection with Jazz (perhaps as a clarinet player)?
I'm a glutton for punishment, me.
(Dujon) A jazzer? - He certainly is. *audience cheers and applauds*
(Projoy) - Not a military man.
Are you really saying you don't class jazz as entertainment?
(Projoy) It can be, and the subject of this AVMA is undoubtedly grateful for the money it generates but he would not be flattered to be called merely an entertainer, unlike say a comedian, who needs an audience above all else.
An instrumentalist (i.e. not a singer)?
(Projoy) - Instrumentalist? - YES.
Plays a brass instrument?
Was this gentleman once a part of Lawrence Welk's orchestra?
(Projoy) - Brass instrument? - NO.
(Dujon) - A middle-of-the-roader? - NO. *audience splutters in embarrassed amusement*
Is the man known for his artistry with a 'free reed' instrument.
I'm just narrowing the field.
(Dujon) - Reed instrument - NO.
Is this jazz instrumentalist NOT particularly entertaining?
:-) :-)
Given Chalky's drum roll: A percussionist?
Dave Brubeck?
(Chalky) - YES, not always easy listening, you could say.
(Dujon) Someone who hangs around with musicians? - well, actually he does, of course, because PROJOY has it. It's the great DAVE BRUBECK, 89 the other day. Well persisted, Pj. Your go.
Gosh! I must clearly take more pains in future to be less entertained when I listen to Blue Rondo à la Turk...

The next is ABSTRACT/ANIMAL...
Figurative?
Animal human?
(Proj) Me too, but not everybody. Have you tried playing it? Brubeck must have colossal maulers.
Begins with P?
[Raak] Figurative? KIND OF. Not sure which is the most helpful answer.
[Rosie] Human? YES and NO, but then again, NO
[Tuj] P-headed? NO
Mortality?
[Rosie] Le Grand Mort? NO (for that would also apply to vegetable matter, I think)
Does this apply to Life in the David Attenborough sense?
[Rosie] I'm not quite sure how to interpret the question.
Incidentally, I now realise there should have been some *applause* for your "Mortality" question.
Music-y?
Does it represent a state of mind?
(Pj) penult. question - Yes, it is a bit obscure. I was knackered and not totally sober after a prolonged bout of pub piano-tuning and payment in kind.
[Chalks] Musical? NO
[Rosie] State of mind? NO
Is it an observation on the behaviour of animals, including humans?
Sentience?
[Rosie] Observation? NO, a bit less abstract than that.
[Dujon] Sentience? NO
Was it invented?
[Proj] "YES and NO, but then again, NO" was a beautiful answer.
[Tuj] Invented? YEEES, I guess so. Not in the same sense as seed drills and nuclear reactors were, tho.
To do with ghosties and ghoulies?
A theory of behaviour?
[Chalky] Grabbed by the... NO, but you're moving in the right direction.
[Rosie] Theory? NO
Fictional?
Tough start here!
Is this a human idea or construct?
I think I see a glimmer of light...
[Tuj] Fictional? YES *a single pedantic audience member (probably Breadmaster) clears his throat disapprovingly at this answer, but everyone else ignores him*
[Duj] A human construct? YES
connected with Religion?
[Chalky] Religious connection? YES! *applause*
A dietary proscription?
[Rosie] Thou shalt not scoff? NO
Nativity thingy?
[Softers] Nativity? NOT AT ALL *audience laughter*
The Koran
May Allah forgive me.
The Priory of Sion?
[Duj] In the name of... NO
[GL] Dan Brown fuel? NO
Specific to one religion?
The Resurrection?
[Rosie] Specific to one religion? YES
[Chalky] And on the third day? NO
A form of sacrifice?
Nirvana?
[Rosie] Virgins and stone tables? NO
[GL] Smells Like Jain Spirits? NO
Quick and helpful New Year recap, disregarding unhelful byways: This is fictional*, connected with religion, and the audience have reacted positively to "mortality" and negatively to "nativity".
* unless you're amazingly pedantic
(oh, and the animal part is human to some extent, but then again not at all)
A particular (i.e. specific) god?
[Duj] A specific god? YES *audience applause*
Buddah?
In the ancient Greek pantheon?
[Softers] Fat guy? NO
[INJ] Kronos 'n' Co.? NO
Oops. That was me.
Is it one of the hindu gods?
Ganesh?
[GL] Brahma 'n' brigade? NO, and therefore
[CdM] Elephant-Head? NO (smart guess :))
An Egyptian deity?
[Duj] Egyptian? YES
Ra?
Amun?
I think we're nearly there...
[CdM] Ra? NO
[Amun] Amun? NO
Horus?
Osiris?
...and ever closer...
[GL] Horus? NO
[CdM] Osiris? NO
Anubis?
The Day of the Jackal
[Duj] You got it! ANUBIS is the answer on the card. *hands over baton inscribed with weird hieroglyphs*
Accepts in terror the bottom end of the staff.
As I typed my acceptance a flock of cockatoos flew over this my nest. Is it an omen or a red herring?
To be honest I don't know how this will work given my/our time difference. Let me think for a short while, please?
ANIMAL ABSTRACT
Is it a fictional human?
Anything specifically Australian?
Connected with the arts?
[GL] A papier mache man? NO
[Rosie] A beer drinking monotreme? NO
[INJ] Perhaps - but in the sense of which I surmise you ask the question - NO
Don't take the 'perhaps' as a clue. It isn't.
Begins with P?
[Tuj] Err, well, NO
Ladies and gentlemens, this is not going to work. The time difference does indeed put up some sort of barrier.
Perhaps Projoy might nominate a replacement?
Mythical?
Is the animal element human?
[Dujon] Don't give up on it yet. When CdM returns from his travels he'll be in your time zone, and Rosie operates on Hughestime, which is completely different from anyone else. Perhaps Flerdle needs to take a look in as well.
Is the abstract element fictional?
[Dujon] Don't give up. The game's more fun when a number of questions get backed up.
(INJ) I was just going to say the same thing. HMT has come into its own. I'll ask a question when I get back from the pub and Dujon has finished his breakfast.
A single unique thing?
Is this a well known phrase or saying?
All right then.
[Softers] As in feeble minds? NO
[INJ] A bipedal brain? NO
[GL] That, my friend, is a jolly good question. My answer must be that the subject exists but at the same time it doesn't. Therefore I am forced to YES
[Tuj] The one and only? YES
[Chalky] It is well known but it's not, other than by its description, that which you intimate. Ergo NO
Do we seek a single-word answer?
[Tuj] To be brutal and honest - NO
Invented?
I've got to say I'm much better at throwing the odd curveball in than staging an inquisition myself! Maybe I should set my watch to HMT so I know when Rosie's due...
[Tuj] That could well depend on the hours that Rosie's publican keeps combined with the depth of snow and black ice?
Invented? Not in the sense of the wheel, the steam engine or the loom, but invented it is. YES
Specific to a particular country or culture?
Ah, good international weather awareness! I can't imagine Rosie'd think a pub too bad a place to be snowed in.
Is the animal aspect mammalian?
[GL] YES
[Tuj] Sorry, I missed your last. Cultural or otherwise NO
Connected with food?
Something that is significant because of its status?
(e.g.the last mammoth)
I think under the circumstances I can allow myself to stack up questions - normally I'd wait for another intervening one.
Is it closely associated with literature?
[INJ] à la carte? NO
[INJv2] Given the situation I have no objection, ImNotJohn, but it's really up to the other participants.
In the sense that it is unique of its kind (although it has competitors in the fame stakes) YES
*audience is now stirring and seems to be taking a little more interest*
[GL] NO
Is it related to a particular form of media?
Mediation
Ooh heck, you do toss down the odd googly don't you?
In itself I would have to answer NO but in practical sense I would be inclined to YES
In other words the question is a wee bit too loose to pass a definitive judgment.
Was a particular writer responsible for this?
[Projoy] I would refer you to my earlier answer to Gusset Login relative to alphabetical verbiage. So NO
[Projoy] I will relent on my previous comment - but only to the extent that someone named it. To find out who did the deed I would need some more research, but I think that the effort would be pointless.
*The audience has reverted to its (or their) original attitude - heads up and staring at the roof of the auditorium*
Is the animal part of a particular mammalian species?
Is the abstractness because this is imaginary?
Rather than real but not pin-downable.
Does the answer contain more than three words?
Is the answer related to any form of entertainment?
[INJ] A viewpoint? YES
*Lots of movement and a few murmurs in the dress circle*
[GL] Triple plus NO
[INJ] A three ring circus? NO
[Projoy] Sorry, I've done it again.
A part of a mammalian species? NO
CLUE: The animal portion refers to a particular mammal but not to one of its named variations.
Is it a bear?
Is it a star constellation?
Just getting it out of my head.
[Tuj] Ursine? NO
*Every single audience member is now awake*
[Kinrah] Join the dots? NO ... BUT
*The audience has burst into applause, feet are being stamped on floorboards and a collective breath has been taken*.
Sirius?
An asterism?
I think the audience are just trying to keep warm, like the rest of us "up" here.
The Zodiac?
Leo?
Within the solar system?
[I have instructed the audience to 'tone it down a bit'. As you probably know they do tend to become over excited at times]
[Projoy] The dog with a waggly tail? NO
[Rosie] A casually recognised pattern of stars? NO
*The audience though is murmuring and beginning to look expectant*.
[Gusset Login] The ecliptically organised? NO
*Audience reaction was a decently loud ripple of applause.*
[Projoy] The King of the jungle? NO (see the answer to Kinrah above)
[INJ] Within the orbit of Sol? NO
[INJ] Sorry, my answer was looser than my collar. I should have said that it most surely does not orbit Sol, unless you take the sun's influence as the be-all and end-all of the Universe.
A galaxy?
Horsehead Nebula?
[Kinrah] One of the Andromedan look alikes - elliptical, spiral or otherwise? NO
*The audience has settled back but still looks interested*
[Gusset Login]The equine embodiment of bodylessness? YES
Offers a bed, sheets and the subject - plus a stick - to the winner.
OK, my turn I guess, MINERAL with ANIMAL (and possibly abstract) connections.
Human animal?
[Kinrah] YES and NO
Android?
[Software] A dreamer of electric sheep? NO
Begins with P?
Well played, Dujon =)
[Tuj] P...? NO
Relative to palaentology?
Congratulation on the win. To me it seemed like a pretty decent sprint to the finish. :)
Depiction of a living thing in some material?
A rubbing of sorts?
[Dujon] Dinosaur's Uncle? NO.
[Rosie] Depiction of the living? YES, would be the more helpful answer, though not technically the more accurate.
[Dujon II] Rubbing? NO
*The audience members, who helped a lot with the last round, begin to return from the bar and retake their seats*
A tombstone or similar memorial?
In stone?
[CdM] A memorial? YES
[Rosie] Stoned? NO
A unique item?
A statue?
[Tuj] One of a kind? In that there is only one of it, YES.
[Dujon] Statue? YES
*A smattering of applause from the audience*
A statue of a specific dead individual?
The Angel of the North?
[CdM] One Dead Person, Immortalised? YES, but not exclusively (See Kinrah's first question)
[Rosie] t'Angel? NO
An equine statue?
[Projoy] an equestrian statue? YES
Richard the Lionheart?
You know - the one outside parliament.
[INJ] Cœur de Lion? NO, but I do know the one you mean.
In Britain?
[CdM] British? NO
Colleoni statue in Venice?
[Chalky] Water Polo Pony? NO
In the US?
[CdM] Merkin? NO
European?
[INJ] Europe? YES
*The Audience mutter, possibly in anticipation or possibly the bar is running low on spirits again*
Does this reside in the Capitoline Museums (Rome)?
[Dujon] Roman Museums? NO
Is/was the human a monarch?
[INJ] The King/Queen? YES
To clarify an early answer in light of what is now known, I feel I should point out that although the statue is not stone its pedestal may be.
France?
Germany?
[Software] French? NO
[Projoy] German? NO
Greece?
Western Europe?
As defined by the pre-1989 'Iron Curtain'
[Chalky] Greek? NO
[INJ] Capitalist Running Dogs? NJET
Russia?
[Projoy] Russian? YES
Lenin's statue in Red Square?
[Softers] The guy on the horse is not Lenin but I'm not going to name him here 'cos all I've been doing is lurking. It begins with Z.
Erratum. It can't be the Zhukov statue because it would fall foul of the "Monarch" question. The same goes for Lenin, for that matter.
The statue of Peter the Great in St Petersburg?
[INJ] Peter the Great? There's more than one famous statue of Peter the Great in St Petersburg. Which one did you mean?
The Bronze Horseman
The one perched on the great big rock - which Wikipedia tells me is called the 'Thunder Stone'
[INJ] Медный всадник? YES. Well done ImNotJohn, have a batton.
And on we go
This one shouldn't be too hard
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
A depiction of some kind?
[Kinrah] - Depiction? - I think 'NO' is the most useful answer, although for some people the answer might well be different. It could be argued both ways.
A statue?
[Software] Statue? - NO
Is it a fictional character?
[Glogin] Made-up? - YES
Begins with P?
Fictional human?
[Tuj] Pplus - NO *some muttering in the audience*
[CdM] Human? - NO
Female?
[Tuj] Distaff? - NO
Anthropomorphic?
[GLogin] Anthropomorphic? - YES, though there's room for discussion
Cartoon character?
Deceased?
[Chalky] - Cartoon? - YES *considerable muttering in the audience*
[Tuj] - RIP? - NO (or, more strictly, Not Applicable)
Bugs Bunny?
Began as a cartoon?
[Software] Wabbit? - NO
[Projoy] Originally Cartoon? - NO
Originated in the C20?
Homing in on it quickly
[Projoy] So last century? - YES
The Pink Panther?
Began in books?
[Kinrah] Panther? - NO
[Projoy] Originally in books? - YES *audience are beginning to gather up bags, coats etc.*
Winnie the Pooh?
A small long eared mammal?
Didn't think that would take long
We have a winner. Winnie ille Pu it is. I suspect Projoy might have been thinking of him for a couple of guesses.

One hunny-covered baton passed on.

I wasn't, actually. It just so happened that Simon Hoggart's parliamentary sketch on Thursday mentioned a Heffalump trap, so that brought him to mind. Would Pooh also be vegetable? What's he made of?

Anyhoo, here's a VEGETABLE.
edible?
I started off thinking about a Teddy Bear (possibly Aloysius), but the 'what is it made of?' question was a bit of a problem, so Pooh was easier as an abstract.
Harvested?
Living?
Edible?
Round?
Wood?
This obviously doesn't count as stacking questions since CdM's taken over my previous one (unless the initial capital is significant).
[Kinrah] Harvested? *considerable audience laughter* NO
[GL] Alive, alive-o? NO
[CdM] Edible? NO *more audience laughter*
[Tuj] Round? NO *yet more audience laughter*
[INJ] Wood? NO.
An object made of vegetable matter?
Unique?
[Rosie] Object made of veg. matter? YES
[Tuj] One is one and all alone and evermore...? NO
Begins with P?
Since more orthodox questions drew blanks
[Tuj] P, please, Bob? NO, not as the item is expressed on the card
Is it more utilitarian than decorative or artistic?
[Rosie] Utility? Hm. Interesting question. I think YES is the most helpful answer, although the more strictly correct answer is NO.
Is it associated with a particular room?
[Tuj] Its own space? NO, not really.
Culturally specific?
Normally seen outdoors?
[CdM] Specific to a particular culture? YES
[Rosie] Predominantly an outdoor thing? NO
Is it specific to a particular western culture?
A rubber plant?
....American condom factory....
[GL] A particular Western Culture? YES
[Rosie] Rubber? NO
Is the specific Western culture either Icelandic or British?
[CdM] Björk/Boudica? YES
Is it made of wicker?
Can we eliminate Icelandic specificity?
[GL] Wicker, man? NO
[Rosie] Non-Icelandic? YES
Does this involve string?
[Rosie] No strings attached.
Does it involve paper?
[GL] Papery? YES! *applause*
A globular paper lampshade?
The House at Pooh Corner?
(the book, not the abode)
[Rosie] Seventies interior decor nightmare? NO
[CdM] Pooh-ey book? NO
A book?
[GL] Big papery thing tied up with string? (or glue for that matter) NO
Is it likely that any member of the morniverse owns one of these?
[CdM] Morniversal ownership? PRETTY LIKELY. I don't, as it happens.
A periodical publication?
Wallpaper?
[Tuj] Beano? NO
[Soft] Anaglypta? *laughter* NO
primarily decorative?
Does it take the form of a single sheet of paper?
[INJ] Primarily decorative? SEE ABOVE (I said that the most helpful thing is to think of it as functional, but the more strict answer in this particular case might be that it's decorative)
[CdM] A single sheet? YES *applause*
Recap, as there seems to be a generalised torpor...
This "Vegetable" is a single sheet of paper (of which there are many instances), most helpfully described as functional, from Britain.
Is it usually affixed to a wall?
A map or chart of some sort??
Sorry - missed Rosie's previous question.
Christmas card?
[GL] Wall? NO
[INJ] Topographical? NO
[Soft] Xmas card? NO
A doiley?
Does it have words printed on it?
[INJ] Like the Irish Parliament? NO
[Rosie] Words thereon? YES!
Is it something that would be used as advertising?
Beer mat?
I think you still need a couple more deductive questions...
[GL] PR? NO
[Soft] Beer mat? NO
Is it smaller than a credit card?
Is it larger than a bath towel?
[Chalky/GL] It is larger than a credit card and smaller than a bath towel.
Fish & Chip newspaper?
Does one write on this?
Is it a legal document?
[INJ] Newspaper? NO
[Rosie] For writing on? NO
[Tuj] A legal document? YES. *hearty applause mixed in with a couple of questioning murmurs*
The Magna Carta?
Although I doubt it, because checking back I see that Projoy set that before, and I guessed it...
[CdM] My memory is indeed that long and it isn't the Magna Carta :-)
Is there a requirement that it be on display in certain locations?
Related to a specific city?
A "Last Will and Testament"
Hm. Still something you're missing.
[CdM] Mandated display? NO
[Tuj] City-specific? NO
[irach] Give the spoons to Cousin Doris? NO
Is it blank on one side?
Birth Certificate?
[CdM] Blank on either side? NO
[Software] Baby Receipt? NO
Are all the instances identical copies of a single identifiable original?
A certificate of achievement?
[CdM] Copies of a single...? YES, TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, AND YET, IMPORTANTLY, NOT QUITE.

[Rosie] Achievement? NO
A certificate of some sort?
[GL] Not a certificate.
A ten shilling note?
Ah ha!!
[CdM] A ten-shilling note? NO *tumultuous applause*
A pound note?
[Rosie] Well carpe'd! The words on the card are: A Series D One Pound Note. Please accept this as your prize money:
Isaac Newton's on the back

*hands rolled up note to Rosie*
Oops. Sorry vincelewis. Here's how it looked...
Oscar accpetance speech
I owe everything to CdM. *breaks down and weeps uncontrollably*.

*Pulls self together* Stop giggling at the back there and announces that the next subject is

ABSTRACT with MINERAL and ANIMAL connections.

Altogether now... a human construct?
Is the animal human?
Is it a fictional location?
e.g. Gotham City, Hogwarts or Moon Base Alpha
(Projoy) - Not in the way we all know and love.
(INJ) Human? - YES, but this connection is not the most important.
(GL) - Fictional location? - NO.
Begins with a P?
Fictional?
Any sort of entertainment?
(Tuj) - Pinitiation? - NO.
(Projoy) - Fictional - NO.
(Raak) - Entertainment? - NO, not at all.
Connected with the natural world?
An activity?
Science-related?
(Damn! I was almost sure I had that last one right. I probably would have gotten it right, too, if I had remembered that pound notes weren't circulating any more (something that I knew but had not really absorbed , if you see what I mean).)
A single-word answer?
[CdM] Remind me not to ask you for change for a fiver ;)
[CdM] Strictly speaking, there are still RBoS pound notes in legal circulation in the UK, and there are also pound notes in the Channel Islands and probably other places, hence my being forced to choose a specific note series rather than just "a one pound note". I almost went for the Duke of Wellington fiver. I must admit, that last one seemed to go down a wrong turning, but I think I was right to say "yes" to "a legal document".
(INJ) - Mountains, typhoons, worms etc? - YES, partly.
(Projoy) - NOT an activity.
(CdM) - Science-related? - NO, not directly.
(Tuj) - One word? - NO, four times NO.
Does this occur naturally?
(Projoy) - A natural occurrence? - NO.
Do animals make it happen?
(Projoy) - Caused by animals? - Let's say there's a contribution.
Weather or Climate related?
(Projoy) - Weather or climate related? - YES. *applause*
The Greenhouse Effect?
Specific to a restricted geographical location or zone?
(GL) - Greenhouse effect, anthropogenic or otherwise? - NO.
(INJ) - Specific location or zone? - YES.

I should add that the weather/climate connection is by no means the whole picture.

Chernobyl fall-out?
That reminds me of a very old joke.
Something that happens because of the weather?
Specific to wintry weather?
(ISP) - Growing extra fingers etc.? - NO.
(Projoy) - YES. *some applause*
(INJ) - Wintry weather? - NO, not speciifically, but...
The rain in Spain ?
(irach) - Las lluvias? - NO, señor.
Anything to do with cicadian rhythms?
Windy?
(Projoy) - Did you mean circadian?. The answer is NO, anyway.
(Softers) - Windy? - Very much so, Gary. *applause*. But see my comment 3 answers back.
A weather forecast?
(GL) - Weather forecast? - NO. See the penultimate reply to Projoy.
Something that happens *after* the weather than causes it, then?
(post hoc ergo propter hoc)
s/than/that. Dunno what's going on with my spelling lately.
(Projoy) - Caused by the weather? - YES, but by no means wholly. *Moderate applause. Good.* BTW, according to Derek and Clive it's "yer post hocter proc, mate."
A geological feature?
Sorry I'm late. Computer illiteracy (continuing). Bah!
(Dujon) - Geological feature? - NO.
(All) This is not a natural occurrence. See early question by Projoy.
Does mineral activity also contribute to making this happen?
(Projoy) - Mineral activity involved? Rather an unusual way of putting it, but the answer is YES. *some applause*
Wind power generation?
Where animal activity contributes to making this thing, is this exclusively about human activity?
(INJ) - Big windmills? - NO.
(Projoy) - Animal contribution human? YES.
Would this generally be considered unfavourable?
Is this is 'A well-known phrase or saying in four words?'
(INJ) - Unfavourable? - Again, very much so, Gary.
(Chalky) - "All men are fools"? - Not a phrase or saying but a well-known combination of 4 words, shall we say. Includes the definite article.
"The Bloody English Weather"?
To do with erosion?
(Pj) - The vile elements? - NO, but there's a contribution.
(INJ) - Erosion? - NO.
Reminder: Weather is only a part of this.
Anything to do with work?
(Projoy) - Work-related? - NO.
(All) A change of tense in some of the questions would be quite helpful.
Is this something that happened in the past?
(Chalky) - An event in the past? - YES. *cheering, applause, etc*
Did this happen in the UK?
(Chalky) - Happened in the UK? - YES.
Before 1953?
(Projoy) - When ah were a lad, or earlier? - YES
Before 1900?
After 1912?
(Projoy) - Before 1900? - YES.
(Gusset Login) - Not the Titanic. :-)
If I said it was cold would I be getting warm?
Before 55 B.C.?
(Duj) - Essentially cold? - NO. My guess is at the time of this event the temperature was about 6°C, which I suppose is a bit chilly for an Aussie.
(GL) - Pre-Roman? - NO.
Before 1812?
Before 1700?
The Little Ice Age?
(GL) - Before 1812? NO.
(Projoy) - Before 1700? - NO?
(Softers) - Global, or at least European, cooling? - NO.

This is an event, caused mainly by the weather.

A shipwreck?
(The Mystery of the Mary Celeste, for instance?)
(Projoy) - Shipwreck? - NO, moving in the right direction. *some scattered applause*.
A maritime event?
The weather-caused destruction of a building?
A Tsunami?
(Projoy) - Maritime event? - In one sense, YES, just about, but no ships involved.
(CdM) - Building destroyed by weather? - Well, I wouldn't call it a building. *Some applause*
(Softers) - Tsunami? - NO.
A hurricane?
Happened on the coastline?
The Tay Bridge Disaster?
Topical, if so!
Projoy has got it...
(CdM) - He has. It's THE TAY BRIDGE DISASTER. Well done, Projoy. Poetry, please. I hand you the single-line token and a piece of Dundee cake.
It was on the second of February, and in the year two thousand and ten
A day that will be remembered for a very long time by all men
That a very good AVMA puzzle was solved by Projoy
Causing all the players to jump up and down for joy.
[CdM] :)
Glad I got that, but being a bit maxed out with work at the mo, I think I have to pass to someone else to set one. I guess first come, first served...?
(CdM) - Excellent. I chortle, not doing ROFLMAO. You could set the next one.
All right, since I have had one in my head for a while. This is

Possibly VEGETABLE with ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS but probably ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE CONNECTIONS
Is the vegetable a tree?
Begins with a P?
Oh, the emotional rollercoaster of being an audience member...
A tree? Yes. *excited applause*
Beginning with P? No. *disappointed silence*
A diagram of some kind?
Diagram? No.
The Wind in the Willows?
Wind in the Willows? No.
Alive?
A specific, named tree?
The Tree of Life?
Alive? No. *laughter*
A specific named tree? Yes. *applause*
Tree of life? No.
The Tyburn Tree?
In the UK?
The Faraway Tree?
I wonder why I haven't bought any Enid Blyton for my new daughter...
Tyburn Tree? No.
In the UK? No.
Faraway Tree? No.
A small clarification to my answer to Projoy: this is a specific tree, but it's probably not correct to call it a "named" tree. The words on the card describe rather than name it.
The Tree of Knowledge?
The burning bush?
Tree of knowledge? No.
Burning bush? No.
Is it a specific tree because of a record property it has?
Apologies for the double post, but I'm logging off in a couple of minutes
Is it a palm tree on a desert island?
Record property? No.
Palm tree? No.
Would this be symbolic tree (as on the flag of a nation)?
A symbolic tree? Um. I think the best answer is No, or at most: Sort of, but not really.
On the flag of a nation? No.
Is it mentioned in an authentic historic text?
Not a txt msg.
Mentioned in a historical text? *applause for the question* I think the best answer is No, but I really need to know what you mean by "an authentic historical text".
Mentioned in a document?
(CdM) - Yes, a bit vague. I meant The Bible, Koran, etc.
Oak Apple Day?
Bible, Koran, etc? No.
Oak Apple Day? No.
A family tree?
Again, getting it out of my head.
Family tree? No.
The tree chopped down by some ancient Usatian vandal?
The Cherry Tree chopped down by George Washington?
Is it a tree from an historical/semi-legendary story?
Yes, yes, and again yes.
The words on the card are The Cherry tree allegedly chopped down by the young George Washington. The story is probably fabricated, hence my classification. I am pretty certain that this was exactly what INJ was referring to, so I think he should get the rather nicely turned cherrywood baton ahead of GL.
I agree, I would have had to turn it down anyway due to lack of free time.
Well, thank you
[GL] Very gentlemanly of you Sir or Madam. Right, after a somewhat busy weekend, we'll start again with:
ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections - or - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections - Depends on your pov
Is the animal human?
[Chalky] human? - NO
A mammal?
[Chalky] mammalian? - NO
A Dragon?
The serpent in the Garden of Eden?
News International get everywhere.
Insect?
Fictional?
Not many more orders to try
[GL] Hidden Dragon? - NO
[Rosie] herpetological? - NO
[Software] Insect? - NO
[Kinrah] Made-up? - Well, that's why the question is posed as it is. FWIW, my answer is YES, and I suspect that would apply to most, but maybe not all, of the contributors to the morniverse.
To do with religion?
[Projoy] smells and bells? - YES (*a small ripple*)
I did rather signal that, didn't I?
Something from Judeo-Christian legend/history?
Angelic?
A sacred animal in some religion?
[Projoy] Judeo-Christian? - YES
[Dujon] Non angli sed angeli? - NO
[Rosie] Baal-lamb? - NO
Devilish?
A character from the Old Testament?
[Software] From the very dark side? - NO
[CdM] OTT? YES
A bird?
[Rosie] Avian? - YES *applause*
Dove-ish?
[Software] Dived? - NO
A raven?
[Projoy] Raven? - YES * Applause and the noise of coats being put on, bags being picked up, etc.*
The raven that couldn't find the olive tree?
We have a winner
Very impressive - I thought that would prove a little more difficult.
The answer is indeed The Raven that was the first bird released from the Ark
One gopher-wood baton handed on
Oops. Was working all day. I think I might have to pass again, as still rather behind with work. The floor is open.
It's been sitting here for a while, so I'll take it.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and sometimes MINERAL connections
Fictional?
Are the animal connections non-human and mammal?
[Tuj] Made up? YES
[irach] Mammalian but non-human? NO
Does this come from a work of fiction such as a novel?
Animal human?
[Rosie] Bookish? YES and NO
[INJ] Humanity? YES
From a non-novelistic work of fiction?
Is the mineral metal?
Religion based?
[Projoy] Fictional? YES
[GL] Metal? CAN BE
[Dujon] Religous? NO
A weapon?
Science fiction?
[Dujon] Object capable of harm? NO *animated whisperings from audience*
[Software] SciFi? CAN BE, but it would be more helpful if I said NO
From the world of motion pictures?
[INJ] YES and NO; however again NO is more helpful.
Begins with P?
Is the mineral liquid?
[Tuj] P-to the rest of it? NO
[INJ] Liquidity? NO
Is the Abstract a quality ascribable to humans?
[Rosie] Quality of humanity? NO
Is the animal a single identifiable person?
[INJ] A single identity? VERY NO.
A single-word answer?
A particular battle?
[Tuj] One word? To be honest it depends on whether you're being definitive, in which case the answer is YES, or whether you're being more abstract, in which case NO. Either way you won't get a very helpful answer.
[Dujon] A battle? Some could call it a battle, but it's going to help more if I say NO
A riot or similar unruly assembly?
A cause? (e.g. Suffragettes)
[Rosie] I predict a riot? NO
[Dujon] Group with a common goal? NO
Any chance of a clue?
[Tuj] I don't see why not.
A run through of what you know:
It is fictional
Involves humans in some way
The mineral can be metal at times
Not a weapon but the audience seemed to like the word
Nowhere near a single person

If I had to give an extra clue: it is a game. I can't get more blunt than that.
Does or has the game exist(ed) in the real world as well as the fictional one?
Is it something akin to chess pieces?
Lewis Carroll connection?
[Rosie] I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you please elaborate?
[Dujon] Chess pieces? NO
[irach] Alice related? NO
Nought's and Crosses?
(tic-tac-toe to our American Morniversers)
[Software] O&X? NO
Boardo?
(Kinrah) You say it's a game and is fictional, which to me could mean it only takes place in a story and could be a game that does not exist in the real world (e.g. competitive vole-polishing). Or it could be a known game between fictional contestants, such as Melchester Rovers etc.
[GL] Checkmate, I'll take that card? NO some whisperings from audience
[Rosie] Ohh. I meant fictional as in the story behind the game is fictional, as opposed to something based on a true story. I apologise if you didn't read it that way. Yes, the game exists in the real world, whether the players are fictional or not is entirely up to a writer's discretion.
Is the result of the game significant to the story?
Nonsense - is it?
Fantasy Football?
[Rosie] Result significant? YES
[Software] Gobbeldegook? NO
[Kim] Fan Made Foot Sports? NO
Ok, since this doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I'm going to reveal the answer and pass the baton to somebody else.

I was thinking of the game of Cluedo (or I believe it's called Clue in the US). Hence:
Fictional
Animal connection human
There have been books and films made on the subject
Pieces can be made of metal or other minerals
Involves weapons (see audience reaction)
Many identities
A one or multi-word answer depending on whether you say 'A Game of Cluedo' or 'Cluedo'
The end of the game is significant in that the true murderer is locked up

In any case, a candlestick-shaped baton handed to whoever wants to take it.
Well, reading back, I think that Tuj actually won the round at 3:48 pm on the 2nd of March. So it must be his turn.
[CdM] Very generous ;) I'll have to decline as this is about the busiest period of my life, certainly thus far. Baton, anyone?
I'll take the baton if no one is using it. MINERAL
Metal?
Stone?
[Rosie] Metal? No.
[Software] Stone? No.
liquid?
Gaseous?
Excluding flatus, obviously
[INJ] liquid? No, is the most useful answer. Partly, is more accurate.
[Rosie] Gas? Yes
Is the mineral water?
In whatever state.
[INJ] water? Not to any significant extent, no.
Found in the home?
[Software] Found in the home? No (Sounds of mirth from the audience).
meteorological/atmospheric?
[INJ] meteorological or atmospheric? Technically no, but it may be related.
Flammable?
Connected with transport?
Composed primarily of a single element?
[Rosie] Flammable? Depends what you do with it, but normally probably not.
[Software] Transport? No.
[INJ] Single element? Yes. (More than 75%)
Compressed air?
[Rosie] Compressed air? No
One of the Inert Gases?
[Rosie] Inert gas? No
Correction: [INJ] I have double checked and it might be slightly less than 75% composed of a single element.
Anaesthetic?
[Rosie] Anaesthetic? No.
The sun?
Not the penny dreadful.
*Smattering of applause from the audience*
[Rosie] Sol? No.
Some other star?
Is the single 75%ish element hydrogen?
Helium?
[Software] Helium? No.
[CdM] 70-75% Hydrogen? Yes.
[Rosie] A Star? No.
Jupiter?
By Jove, that had better be right.
[Rosie] Jupiter? YES. Have a baton.
Well, that was quick, and this may also be not too difficult .
It's ABSTRACT
A pseudonym?
Don't ask, I don't know.
(Dujon) - Not a pseudonym.
A human concept?
(Softers) - Human concept? - YES
Specifically European?
Does it begin with P?
(Softers) - Specifically European - NO. *one or two sniggers from the audience*
(Gusset Login) Pinitialism? - NO. Not in English, at any rate.
Specific to some particular culture or place?
Related to language?
(CdM) - Specific to some particular culture or place? - YES, but only in terms of the actual word (s) on the card.
(Dujon) - NOT language-related.
Any political connection?
(Softers) - Political connection? - YES, very much so, Gary. *vigorous audience applause*
Pertaining to the erstwhile Soviet Union?
The Great Firewall of China?
(irach) - NO, not pertaining specifically to the USSR.
(INJ) - Good thinking but NO, alas.
Clarification regarding CDM's query - the best answer is really a straightforward NO. Anything else may be misleading.
A joke of some kind?
(Dujon) - A joke? NO, far from it.
Anything to do with expenses?
Although they are far from abstract.
(Softers) - Expenses? - YES, though not exclusively. *vigorous applause*
An Election?
Obviously not imaginary duck houses??
(INJ) - NO, not an election.
(Softers) - Mallard's engine shed? - NO, but *further mild applause.*
Corruption?
(CdM) - Corruption? Getting very warm. *more audience applause*
A quango?
(Dujon) - A quango? NO.
Fictious parliamentary expenses?
(Softers) - One ball of string, one skewer, one pair of scissors as Representative of the All-Party Conker Committee? - NO, but that's part of it.
An inquiry of some sort?
Obviously dancing around it ...
(Softers) - An inquiry? - NO. Dancing round it is the very phrase. :-)
A government policy of some kind (e.g. the budget)?
(Dujon) - NO, not government policy at all, at least as they see it.
A Leak?
(INJ) - NO, not a leak.
This is a rather general term.
Sleaze?
SLEAZE it is! Well done GL. Over to you.
Oh, OK my turn, I guess.... ANIMAL
Human?
Alive?
[INJ] Human? Yes
[CdM] Alive? At one time, but not now.
Famous individual?
European?
[Softie] Individual of note? Yes
[INJ] European? Yes
Male?
[i,rach] Male? Yes
British?
[Rosie] British? Yes
In the entertainment field?
Artistic?
In a broad sense
[irach] An Entertainer? Yes
[INJ] Artistic? That's a matter of personal opinion. Some would say he was and some that he wasn't, I suspect.
Born in the 20th century?
[Rosé] A 20th Century Boy? Yes
A banjo/banjolele/ukelele player?
[Dujon] A banjo/banjolele/ukelele player? That's three questions. At least one of which would have the answer yes.
George Formby?
[Software] Ooh, mother. Turned out nice again? YES have this baton that was leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street.
*Blushes as that certain little lady passes by*

Dammit, now I have to think ...

I know - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL Connections

A fictional character?
More than one animal involved?
A human construct?
A G-string?
[Gusset Login] I'm ever so pleased. ;-)
[GL] - Bugs Bunny? NO
[irach] The Herd? - YES
[Rosie] Imagination? YES
[Duj] Airy stuff? NO
An organisation of like-minded individuals?
Would Calgary be related?
[Rosie] affiliation? NO * spattering of applause from audience *
[Duj] Stampede? Not sure what you mean but NO is probably the answer.
A fictional group of humans?
Any connection with sports?
[GL] Imaginary? NO. * chuckling from audience *
[Juxta] Fitness? NO.
Any connections with politics?
[Rosie] Collective decision making? YES!
A general election?
A marginal constituency?
[Pro] Current mêlée? - NO. * some laughter and applause from audience *
[Rosie] Tactical territory? - NO.
Some kind of discussion?
A hung parliament
Or a hanged parliament, if you prefer that idea.
[Pro] Debate? - NO.
[INJ] Strung-up? (They should be). -NO.
Democracy?
[FGZ] Choosability? NO * laughter from audience *
A type of government?
[INJ] Party specific? NO.
A method of voting?
The House of Lords?
[FGZ] Ballot? - NO.
[Rosie] Feudalism?- NO.
Is it related to a change in government?
[GL] Selection - YES. * some applause from audience *
A coup?
[Duj] Junta? - NO. nothing so dramatic.
Hint: two words on card.
Regime Change?
Conservative government?
To do with totalitarianism?
[GL] Revolution? - NO.
[FGZ] Toryism? - NO.
[Pro] Stalin and his mates? - NO.
Hint: Remember this is largely ABSTRACT!
Is it a political term of phrase?
Dissolution of Parliament?
[FGZ] Spin? - YES! (although not always what politicians themselves want to convey)
[Rosie] End of Term? - NO.
The truth?
Campaign Promises?
A sudden shift in the structure of a hill?
[Pro] Veracity - NO (certainly virtual in the case of politicians)
[Duj] Lib-Dem revival? - NO
[FGZ] Promises, promises? - YES!
FGZ has it! I pass on the over-egged baton and may the best man win!
Thanks, Software, I dunno how to do the big letters thing, so here goes...

ANIMAL
Animal = human?
[Software] Homo Sapiens? NO
Four legs?
Quadroped? NO
Alive?
A bird?
[GL] Animate? YES
[Rosie] Ornithological? YES
A particular species?
Specific? YES Just to warn you guys that i have started travelling again, so I may not be on as often to answer questions. I'll try to get on as often as I can.
Extant?
Sorry, I don't quite follow, please rephrase.
Extant (adj.) - A species which isn't extinct
Currently in existance? - YES
[FGZ*] PfD is quite correct (Thank you PfD). I might stress that I am not PfD but also that this site does include a wide variety of pedants with an equal proportion of grammarians, lexicographers, etymologists and other related types - each of which insists on proving their existence.
A bird of prey?
[GL] Predatory? - No
Found in Europe?
European? NO
A flightless bird?
North America?
Endemic to North America? NO
Flightless? YES
An ostrich?
A Penguin?
Kiwi?
[Rosie][Duj][GL] All incorrect
[GL] Nope.
Penguin?
not a Linux fan by any chance?
Cassowary?
Kakapo?
All still incorrect so far... [Software] I take it that's not an AMVA question, and no, sadly I have never actually tried linux. I am currently windows only.
Silkie?
Any relevance to current events?
[GL] Nope [Rosie]Relevant? - no
Is it a member of the crane family?
Gruiformes.
A Chook?
Rhea?
[GL] Crane? NO
[Duj, Soft] NO
sorry guys but I've been stuck in Invercargill with no internet. Definitely not a great situation
Found primarily in Africa?
Kakapo?
Should I be trembling?
[INJ] African? No
[GL] Nope, as I told Juxtapose earlier
[Dujon] If you did, I would laugh at you

So far there have been some close guesses, but none spot on yet
A sub-species of a current guess?
[Software] Not that close
Australasian?
[INJ] Yes
Is it a kind of duck?
Begins with a P?
[GL] No [Tuj] No
Specific to New Zealand? (e.g. the Takahe)
[Duj] Certainly
[GL] My apologies, but I have answered a previous question incorrectly. Upon further research the animal in question belongs to the family of gruiformes. I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause, but Wikipedia has let me down.
Takhe?
If it is Dujon deserves the win.
[GL] Not the takahe, or he would have won.
Endemic only to the South Island?
This could turn into a guessing game. ZL has a significant number of gruiformes so I am trying my best to start a narrowing down of the possibilities.
Weka?
And with that, the well contested baton is passed to Gusset Login. Well done and good luck to all. I am not sure if it is endemic only to the SI, Dujon, but that was the only place I saw them.
OK, time for another ANIMAL
Human?
Used as a mascot?
[Rosie] Human? Sometimes.
[Juxtapose] Mascot? Almost everything has been used as a mascot at sometime, I don't believe that this is the exception.
A part of an animal?
[CdM] A chunk of someone? YES
Is this literal 'chunk' used as a description of a human (e.g. He was built like the back end of an elephant)?
[Dujon] Describing a human? I can't think of a time I have heard it used in that way, but I guess it's possible.
A particular animal or human?
An organ?
A werewolf?
Begins with P?
[Rosie] Particular? No
[Juxtapose] Organ? {Smattering of applause} No
[Dujon] Lycanthrope? No
[Tuj] P***? Not in english
A gland, perhaps?
[Juxtapose] A gland, perhaps? perhaps not
Relative to cardiology?
[Dujon] Cardiac relativity? No
Begins with P (to your knowledge) in some other language?
A head?
(CdM) Pen in Welsh, so Yes. :-)
[CdM] P-ing in foreign? I think it might in Czech but I'm far from an expert
[Rosie] A head? {Much applause} No
Physiognomy?
Amygdala?
[INJ] Studying Bumps? Would be abstract
[CdM] Amygdala? No
A skull?
[Juxtapose] skull? YES Have a juxtaposed baton.
Minor pedantry
Physiognomy = the face
Phrenology = determining the character by studying the lumps & bumps of the skull
Retro-phrenology = hitting the skull precisely with a hammer in order to achieve the configuration that gives the required character traits.
Sorry NotJohn
You're right, I misread. It was still wrong, if anything wrongerer.
Ooh, only my second baton-receiving. How exciting!
Alright-ah. This time we shall say: MINERAL.
Is it valuable?
[FGZ] Valuable? Yes.
Begins with P?
An object or objects?
More than 50% metal?
Unique?
Stone?
Is it radioactive?
Second letter A?
Last letter Y?
[Tuj] /^P/ No.
[Rosie] An object or objects? Yes.
[GL] More than 50% metal? Yes.
[Dujon] Unique? Typically no.
[Software] Stone? Stone is often involved.
[CdM] Radioactive No.
[Tuj2] /^.a/ No.
[GL2] /y$/ No.
A machine?
[Rosie] A machine? No.
Decorative?
A letter opener?
[GL] Decorative? I'm going to say Yes, though it's debatable.
[Softers] A letter opener? No.
Smaller than a toaster?
Bigger than a bread van?
[Tuj] <"toaster" Yes!
[GL] >"bread van" Nop.
A depositary of some kind?
A Ring?
[Dujon] depositary - a facility where things can be deposited for storage or safekeeping? No.
[FGZ] A ring? Yes. *much expectant applause*
A millstone?
An engagement ring?
[Softers] A millstone? Not quite...
[CdM] An engagement ring? YES! Well deduced, all. As it turns out, I am soon to be one half of "Mr. and Mrs. Juxtapose". The Mr. half, specifically. Have a ludicrously overpriced hand-made wedding baton.
Almost a lurker's victory, there. And congratulations, Juxtapose! All right, this one is

ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections
Conservatism?
An anarcho-syndicalist rabbit?
Making a welcome return.
Supermouse?
Conservatism? No. (Is that an animal?)
Picketing Bunny? No.
Supermouse? No.
Is the animal human?
Human? No.
Starts with P?
David Cameron?
Mind if I join you?
Living creature(s)?
Is it a mascot of some sort?
OK, scratch that last one. David Cameron is human, as far as anyone knows.
P-begun? No.
The beast Cameron? No.
Alive? No.
Mascottish? Yes.
A cartoon character?
Cartoon character? No.
Represents a nation or geographical area?
National Geographic? No.
Is it associated with a particular company or product?
Symbolic?
Extinct?
Also making a (hopefully) welcome return.
Of the feline ilk?
Associated with company or product? Yes *applause*
Symbolic? Yes, in the mascottish sense already noted. Did you have something more specific in mind?
Extinct? No (or perhaps not applicable would be better)
Catty? Yes.
Is it Tony the Tiger?
The British Lion?
The Wild Haggis?
Familiar to a resident of America?
British company or product?
Tony? Wrrrrrrrrrrrrong.
British Lion? No.
Wild Haggis? No.
Familiar from California to the New York islands? Yes.
British company or product? No.
US company or product?
To get the obvious follow-up out of the way...
A product more than a company?
US company or product? Yes.
Product more than company? No.
Morris the Cat?
Morris the Cat? No.
The paddle pop lion?
Very similar to the Merlion in Singapore
Paddle Pop Lion? I think you will find that begins with P. Therefore, No.
The MGM roaring lion?
MGM lion? Close enough for a Yes! The words on the card were, strictly, The Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Lions (plural), with the answer referring to the actual animals. (Not all the lions actually roared, by the way.) At least in my question-setting world, many of the guesses that people gave would be Abstract with animal connections, as opposed to the Animal with abstract connections that I specified.

One celluloid representation of a baton passed on to irach.
This next one is just ANIMAL.
Unique?
Human?
Symbolic?
[CdM]Yes, unique.
[GL]Yes, human.
[Software] Hmmm... I presume could be considered a symbol of sorts.
Alive now?
[jim] No, but in a sense will always be alive.
Ronnie James Dio?
[jim] No, not RJ Dio.
Did they die before 17th May 1983?
[GL] The person in question was reported to have died prior to 17 May 1983, but will likely always be immortal.
An entertainer?
[INJ] No, not an entertainer.
Jesus Christ?
No, not Jesus Christ.
Fictional?
[Juxtapose] Yes, fictional.
When you speak of this fictional human as "always being alive" and "immortal", do you mean that there is something about this particular character that is immortal, as opposed to the character being immortal simply by virtue of being fictional? If you see what I mean.
[CdM] Mostly just by being fictional, but perhaps a little more than just a character in this case.
Did the character originally appear in a book?
[jim] Yes, the person first appeared in a book.,
Main character in a book?
Does the person's name appear in the title?
[Juxtapose] Yes, the person's name is in the book title.
[Software] Yes, the person is the main character in the book.
Was the book in question published prior to the year 1900?
[Juxtapose] The book was first pubished prior to 1900.
Was this person a mariner?
Does this person appear in more than one book?
By the way -- not as criticism, just as observation -- I would classify any fictional character (or place, or thing) as primarily abstract, with xxx connections as appropriate. Is that how others also think about these classifications?
[CdM] Research indicates that it was one book, published in two parts.
Is the person female?
[Juxtapose] The person is male.
British or Irish author?
[jim] Neither British or Irish author.
Originally written in English?
Oedipus?
[jim] Not originally written in English.
[GLogin] Not Oedipus.
Begins with P?
[CdM] I concur
[Tuj] Not beginning with "P".
The Count of Monte Cristo?
You missed Dujon's "mariner" question, by the way.
[Dujon] The person was not a mariner.
[CdM] Not "The Count of Monte Cristo"
Hercules?
Written before 1800?
[FGZstar] Not Hercules.
[INJ] Yes, written before 1800.
Written before 1700?
Original question, I know. Though irach did say "published in two parts", and we can't go too much further back before "published" stops being a meaningful concept.
[jim] Yes, both parts first came out in print prior to 1700.
Don Quixote?
Just a wild stab at a windmill in the dark...
[jim] The baton...or lance in this case is passed to you...Don Quixote it is! The books Part I, El Ingenioso Hidalgo don Quijote de la Mancha and its sequel were published for Cervantes ten years apart, in 1604 and 1614 by publisher Francisco de Robles. Incidentally, Don Quixote was one of the first bestseller books for which pirated editions soon appeared in the marketplace. The fact that I considered Don Quixote as being a little more immortal than just famous for being a fictional character (in response to CdM's question) is that the personality trait adjective "quixotic" has also been derived from his name.
Takes lance with extreme caution
Thank you, thank you. Another result of the first book's being so popular was a rash of what you might call "unofficial sequels", of rather poor quality. The second book was written in part as a response to these.
I hope it's not considered too much bad form to guess like that straight after having a question answered. Actually, I couldn't think of any two-part foreign language books of that sort of antiquity, and was about to guess the Bible, although certain that wasn't it, just to eliminate the possibility, when another candidate suddenly struck me.

Anyway, I am now thinking of an ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections. Game on.

Is the animal human?
'En un lugar de La Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero recordarme...' - I've always liked that as an opening line - it's the 'no quiero' that gives it its interest.
[Animal human] In one connection, specifically yes. In another connection, yes, but not specifically so. In a sense, specifically no.
Does the answer contain a verb?
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
[Contains a verb] No verb.
[Well known phrase] No. That is, the name of the thing is certainly well known, and you might make a case for its being a phrase or saying, but the thing itself is not one.
Minotaur?
[Minotaur] No.
Character in a book?
[Character] No.
Does the human animal connection refer to a specific individual?
[Individual] The "specifically human" connection is to a specific individual human, yes.
Begins with P?
Ends with Y?
[Tuj] Pno.
[Gusset] Noy.
A general reference to an unspecified constituent of a group (e.g. 'one of the mob', 'a club member')?
[General reference] No. There's a sense in which the AOTC could be said to refer to a group of closely related entities, but it would usually be considered as a single specific thing.
Is the answer a mythical creature?
[Mythical creature] No.
Does the name of the human connection appear on the card?
Is the specific human a man?
[Name on card] No.
[Male human] Yes.
A leader?
Does the vegetable connection refer to a specific vegetable (such as a single identified tree, for example)?
[Leader] The person in question could certainly be considered a leader, but if you mean to ask if he is principally known as the leader of some group, nation, army etc., the answer is no.
[Specific vegetable] No.
I should clarify that when I say that the name of the human does not appear on the card, I mean precisely that. It would not be unnatural to describe the thing in terms of the person, but the name of the thing as I am envisaging it on the card does not contain the person's name.
IS it relating to a specific type of vegetable?
Is the human fictional?
[Specific type of vegetable] No.
[Fictional human] No.
Was the human involved in the invention or creation of the thing?
Was this thing invented?
(rather than, say, discovered)
[Human involved] Yes. Some murmurs of appreciation from the crowd
[Invented] I'm not sure "invented" is the right word, but it was more invented than discovered, although there is a strong connection to discovery.
Is the vegetable connection in regards to its shape?
[Shaped like a vegetable] No.
(In the sense that the thing can be said to have a shape, which is debatable.)
Was it "invented" in the last century?
(assuming that question makes sense)
[Last century] It did not come into being during the 20th century.
Are we broadly in the realm of science?
[Science] Yes. Audience applauds
Is the science in question astronomy?
Mathematical?
Newton's Law of Gravity?
[Astronomy] No.
[Mathematics] No.
[What goes up...] Nope.
Medical-related?
Biological Evolution related (a la Darwin?)
[Medical] No.
[Biological evolution] Yes. Cheers from the audience
Natural Selection?
Family tree?
[Natural selection] No, but there is a very strong connection. Audience are on the edges of their seats
[Family tree] No. Audience sit back again
The book title, "On the Origin of Species"
Yes! It is the book "On the Origin of Species", or to give it its full title, "On the Origin of Species by means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life", only that wouldn't fit on the card. Charles Darwin, of course, being the specific named human (not actually named on the card, but could have been); Darwin tactfully refrained from directly addressing human evolution in the book, hence the "specifically non-human" connection. Not that the book wasn't controversial enough anyway. One naturally selected baton goes over to irach.
Holy Galapagos! By the beard of the land iguana! Me again? The next one is quite simply ANIMAL.
Human?
(oblig)
[INJ] Not human.
Skippy the bush kangaroo?
Mammalian?
[jim] Not the aforementioned marsupial, or any other kangaroo.
[GL] Not mammalian.
A fish?
A monotreme?
[GL]Not a fish.
[Dujon] Not a montreme.
A blue-footed booby?
A Bird?
[CdM} Not a booby- blue-footed, or otherwise.
[FGZstar] Not a bird.
An insect?
A reptile?
Begins with P?
Arachnid?
[CdM] Yes, an insect. Audience raises collective antennae attentively...
[GL] Not a reptile.
[Juxtapose] Not an arachnid.
Is it found in New Zealand?
Was it ever hidden in New Zealand?
Is it a beetle?
Because that would really narrow it down. Also, why are you avoiding Tuj's question?
[Tuj] Does not begin with "P".
Yes, it is found in New Zealand.
[all] Hmmm... I don't really know.
[CdM] It is not a beetle.... (Mark...Antennae, no Coleoptera).
A weta?
A form of Stonefly?
[Juxtapose] Not a weta.
[Dujon] Not a stonefly.
Is it poisonous/venomous?
[CdM] Yes, it is poisonous.
A Fire Ant?
[FGZstar] Not a fire ant.
By poisonous, do you mean as in it will poison you if eaten, as opposed to venomous where it will bite you and poison you
[FGZstar] It will poison one if eaten.
Is it endemic only to New Zealand, or is it found in other countries?
[FGZstar] It is also found in other countries.
Is it a caterpillar?
[FGZstar] In one stage of its being it is a caterpillar, yes.
Would this be a butterfly that holds its wings flat when at rest?
If Duj would happen to be wrong, would it be a moth, such as the Hawthorn Caterpillar's moth (can't remember the name)?
[Dujon] Not that I know of.
[FGZstar] Not a moth.
Do the words on the card describe a butterfly?
[CdM] The words on the card refer to a specific butterrfly.
Cabbage White?
I know few others
[Software] Not a Cabbage White.
Is it, broadly speaking, a commonly known butterfly (like, say, Red admiral), or is it sufficiently obscure that we still need to ask other questions to narrow it down?
[CdM] Very commonly known butterfly... (and remember the clue that this species is known to be poisonous if eaten).
Is it a Monarch butterfly?
(shamelessly taking advantage of my time zone to ask two questions in a row)
[CdM] Yes, a Monarch butterfly it is! Monarchs feed on milkweed and sequester the digitalis-like cardiac glycosides from the plant, rendering them poisonous to predators. The range of the species does now extend to New Zealand.

A baton worthy of a monarch, nay... a sceptre... passed on to CdM.
.
MINERAL
Uluru aka Ayers Rock?
Pluto?
Does it gush out of the sea bed in the Gulf of Mexico?
Red rock? No.
Dead rock? No.
Bed rock? No.
Any kind of rock?
Igneous, sedimentary, metamorphic, soft, hard, folk, sheet, soap, sham, def, red, 30, cradle will, black, picnic at hanging, school of, jailhouse? No.
Would I be correct in assuming then that it is metallic in composition?
Made by man?
Metallic? No.
Manmade? Yes.
My apologies. I am guilty of too cursory a reading of wikipedia. This is actually MINERAL and (probably) ANIMAL and/or (possibly) VEGETABLE.
A single specific thing?
Begins with P?
Single specific thing? In the sense I think you mean, the answer is No. The card does name some thing, but there is more than one instance of the thing named on the card. If you see what I mean.
Begins with P? Why, yes, yes it does. :-)
Can it be used for constructtion?
Can it be used for construction? *some audience laughter* It really depends what you mean by construction. Can you be more specific?
Plastic?
Judging from the audience laughter, I presume it may be used, for example, for constructing crafts or small objects rather than homes or edifices. Is this presumption correct? [e.g. construction of objects by children with "Plasticine" (which by the way is mainly mineral calcium salts mixed in with plant or animal derived aliphatic fatty acids such as stearic acid, and begins with a "P", and therefore actually fits the bill quite nicely for the object on the card.!)]
Play-doh?
[CdM] Why thanks, it's been a little while =)
And indeed Plasticene is the correct answer! (And I had planned to choose Play-Doh -- which is mineral and vegetable btw -- for my next chance at setting. Oh well.)

One soft and slightly misshapen baton, dirty brown in colour yet still showing traces of the other brighter colours it once comprised, passed to irach.
Once more into the breach... okay, the next one's essentially MINERAL.
Did you mean "Once more unto the beach?" If so, is it oil?
[Rosie] Not an oozing mineral.
Man made?
[G Login] Yes, man-made.
An object, fabricated with some mineral or other?
[Rosie] Yes, an object fabricated with mineral substances.
More than 50% metal?
BP's broken saw blade?
[G Login} Yes, mo than 50% metal.
[FGZstar] Not a BP saw blade.
Works with electricity?
[Rosie] Does not require electricity to operate, but has electrical connections on it.
A missile of some kind?
A generator?
I am thinking this because it doesn't need electricity to operate, rather that it generates it. Unless of course you are generalising with electricity meaning the notion of electricity. Or am I reading far too much into this?
[Dujon] Not a missile.
[FGZstar] It does not need electricity for its basic essential function for a good part of the day; the electrical needs of this object are secondary to its main purpose.
A dial or indicator on a car?
Are the electrical connections related to output from the unit? (e.g. Solar Panel, Thermal Spring . . . )
[Rosie] Not a dial or indicator.
[Dujon] Electrical connections are unrelated to the output from the unit. As indicated, the electrical connections are totally ancillary; not essential for the object on the card's proper functioning for a good part of the 24-hour day, and they are not what is generally thought of by one in connection with the object in question.
Battery operated?
[Software] Not battery operated.
(The game has become side-tracked by everyone focusing on the electrical component. While in response to Rosie's question, I had to answer that there are electrical connections involved with this essentially mineral object, those connections are not what would normally come to mind in relation to the words on the card).
Earth?
[G Login] No, not anywhere as large as Earth, and remember, the object is man-made.
Any plastic content?
[Software] No plastic content.
Bigger than a bread box?
An Oyster Card?
Well, it works on the electrical side of things....
Smaller than a phone box?
[jim] Considerably bigger than a bread box.
[FGZstar] Not an Oyster Card.
[G Login] Considerably larger than a phone box.
Does it move?
Big Ben?
{Software} Its primary purpose is not to move, but depending on environmental conditions it may indeed "move.
[Rosie] Not Big Ben, but inching closer.
A bridge?
Tower Bridge?
[jim] Yes, a bridge! (Audience breaks out humming, "Sur le pont..." in anticipation of someone bridging the remaining gap to the answer.)
[G Login] Not the Tower Bridge, though...
It sounds a bit wiered to me.
[Dujon] ("Wiered" I don't know about, but "wire" is definitely a hint.)
Located in the UK?
The Forth Rail Brige?
Well, it is apparently the 8th wonder of the world...
The Gateshead Millennium Bridge?
The wibbly-wobbly bridge, aka the London Millennium Bridge?
Ironbridge?
A suspension bridge?
[Juxtapose] Not in the UK.
[FGZstar] Not the Forth Rail Bridge.
[INJ] Not the Gateshead Millenium Bridge.
[jim] Not the wibbly-wobbly London Millenium Bridge.
[Software] Not Ironbridge
[INJ] Yes, a suspension bridge.
In the USA?
In Europe?
[jim] Yes, in the USA.
[INJ] As above, not in Europe.
Golden Gate Bridge?
[Juxtapose] Yes, The Golden Gate Bridge it is! The bridge does have electrical connections primarily for lighting, and while its primary purpose is not to move, it can move during severe weather conditions. During the winter storms in 1982, the main span bowed and swayed approximately 6 to 7 feet. The baton made up of intertwined wire cable is passed.
I shall have to stop switching rapidly between this and 'Where am I' since I had it in my head that we were in the UK - wrong game!
I am afraid I am a bit to blame for that one, sice I created the latter. What do you think of it, by the way?
Easily confused
[FGZstar] I was worried it would just be a copy of this game, but it has taken off at a bit of a tangent. I think there's room for both.
Okay, all, get ready to be stumped with a

VEGETABLE

.
Is it alive?
Is it edible?
Wood?
A Cucumber?
Tree stump?
A specific plant?
Found in UK?
A bail?
Wicket?
Found on a farm?
The Answers:
[Alive?] This could be debated, but I will say Yes.
[Edible?] No.
[Wood?] No.
[Cucumber?] No.
[Tree stump?] No.
[A specific plant?] Yes.
[Found in the UK?] No.
[A bail] No.
[Wicket?] No.
[Found on a farm?] No.
A specific individual plant?
A Member of the cactus family?
A very ancient tree?
Found in Africa?
Insectivorous?
More Answers:
[A specific individual plant?] No.
[A Member of the cactus family?] I don't believe so.
[A very ancient tree?] No.
[Found in Africa?] No.
[Insectivorous?] Not to my knowledge.
A tree?
Used as a symbol or emblem?
'This here's the Wattle, the emblem of our land
You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand
Kelp?
Begins with a P?
Better late than never
Mainly found in the tropics?
Is this a plant that, apart from its natural environment, is considered as a weed?
Les Réponses:
[A tree?] No.
[Used as a symbol or emblem?] I would call the answer emblematic, but as far as a nation's flag or team logo or something, No.
[Kelp?] No.
[Begins with a P?] YES.
[Mainly found in the tropics?] Mainly, no.
[Considered as a weed?] Certainly considered a nuisance.
Poison Ivy?
Primrose?
De Antwoorden:
[Poison Ivy?] No.
[Primrose?] No.
An aquatic plant such as pickerelweed?
A specie of thistle?
οι απαντήσεις:
[Aquatic?] No.
[A specie of thistle?] No.
A bush or shrub?
I thought irach had got it.
Pommegranite?
Coniferous?
Th' Ans'
[A bush or shrub?] No.
[Pom?] No.
[Coniferous?] No.
A type of grass?
BTW, when responding to 'Found in X' questions are you replying on the basis of 'native to' or 'at least 1 example grows there'?
Known for its flowers particularly?
FAQ
[A type of grass?] No.
[Known for its flowers particularly?] No.
[BTW] I have been trying to answer the questions as they've been asked. The VEGETABLE is not _mainly_ found in the tropics, and is _not_ aquatic. This may mean that at least one example may be found in tropical climes, but it means that it definitely does not grow under / in water. Is this what you meant?
Palm Tree?
Seed bearing? (as opposed to spore-bearing?)
Q&A
[Palm Tree?] No.
[Seed bearing?] Unknown. Applause from a single audience member who then wilts under the glares of the others
Nasty in some way such as prickly or poisonous?
Pipe-weed, a Middle-Earth plant, (smoked by hobbits with bad habits), as mentioned by JRR Tolkien ?
Does it have leaves?
Clarification on 'found in' is fine thank you
Answering Machine
[Nasty in some way?] Quite. A bit of laughter.
[Pipe-weed?] No. A lot of laughter, applause, and murmuring.
[Does it have leaves?] Yes.
Can it be smoked (and unlike Bill Clinton's claimed experience with a particular weed), actually inhaled?
A tobacco plant?
Ans her? I just met her!
[Can it be smoked?] No.
[A tobacco plant?] No.
Is any part of it edible?
Should we be paying attention to your aproposeses?
Does it "eat" insects?
Given that two of the last three questions have already been answered can we have a summary?
A dicotyledonous plant?
I apologize for the gap in answers, life has been a blur for the last two days.
Is it pineappleweed?
Pineapplweed
Is it a real, currently living plant?
Growing on the Earth, not extinct, not fictional (though that should be Abstract).
[Juxt] - Apology accepted, but you could have answered the outstanding questions at the same time.
Late Answers
Haste prevented me at the time. I have a terrible habit of remembering things only when I have no ability to address them.
[Is any part of it edible?] No.
[Should we be paying attention to your aproposeses?] I have attempted to relate accurately the reactions of the audience.
[Does it "eat" insects?] No.
[A dicotyledonous plant?] Unknown.
[Pineappleweed?] No.
[Is it a real, currently living plant?] No. As to category, I took my cue from Irach's latest outing - Fictional human, categorized simply as "Animal".
Summary
Vegetable. Alive by certain definitions, inedible, a specific plant, not found in the UK, not an individual plant, not a cactus, not an ancient tree, not found in Africa, not mainly found in the tropics, not aquatic, possibly an emblem, not a bush or shrub, not a thistle, not a type of grass, not known for it's flowers, definitely nasty, has leaves, cannot be smoked, not insectivorous, possibly a dicot, possibly seed-bearing, not a real, currently living plant, starts with P.
Not: wood, cucumber, a tree stump, bail, a wicket, kelp, poison ivy, primrose, pomegranate, a palm tree, pipe-weed, pinappleweed.
Found on earth?
Thanks for the summary
Hmm, irach got a bit of criticism for his categorisation at the time. But, then I don't claim to set the rules for this game.
Must be a ptrifid
But obviously isn't, i.e. I'm stuck.
Was this plant invented by JK Rowling?
Answers
[Found on earth?] No.
[ptrifid] Pno.
[Potter-ed plant?] No.
Phantom Fungus?
Is it from a book?
I have a horrible feeling that I'm not going to have heard of this one.
Is it from science fiction?
Aaaaaanswers.
[Phantom Fungus?] No.
[Is it from a book?] No.
[Is it from science fiction?] No.
Would this be a Paleozoic plant (e.g. a Progymnospermopsida)?
From a TV series?
Nswrs
[A a Paleozoic plant?] No.
[From a TV series?] The VEGETABLE has appeared in more than one tv series, but that is not the original source.
Puking tree of Mozambique?
Just clutching at straws now...
From a game of some sort?
Potato?
Getting warmer
[Puking tree of Mozambique?] No, but I wish I had picked that instead.
[From a game of some sort?] Yes!
[Potato?] No.
Pikmin?
I know nothing of Pikmin save the name, but it turned up on Wikipedia's list of fictional plants, so it's worth a try.
Piranha Plant?
See Jim's comment.
From "Plants vs Zombies"?
Fireworks
[Pikmin?] No, but an excellent guess
[Piranha Plant?] YES! Audience goes wild. The pipe-dwelling sharp-toothed menace from Super Mario Brothers. I'm sorry, but the baton appears to be in another castle. Please accept this 1-Up mushroom instead.
Well - never played the game, or seen anyone play it (actually I've never owned or held a games console, bizarre as that may seem to some people).

After that short interruption in services we restart with MINERAL with ANIMAL connections

A building?
[CdM] edifice? - NO
Means of transport
Mineral in its natural state?
[FGZstar] Lead balloon? - NO
[Rosie] Mineral in its natural state? - Hmm, I think the answer is YES, but I'm not sure what you mean by the question.
Metallic?
A fossilised material with embedded animal?
Made by man?
Fictional?
Mount Rushmore?
Where did that come from?
[FGZstar] - Metal? - NO
[Dujon] Fossil (with bits in)? - YES! (well, you could argue that it isn't a fossil and doesn't really have embedded animal - but that's being picky) (huge applause)
[GLogin] Man-made? - NO
[Juxtapose] - Invented? - NO - that would have been Abstract ;-)
[jim] Mt Rushmore? - NO
Crude petroleum ( "fossil" fuel) ?
[irach] Eau de Gulf? - NO (the audience is looking much more subdued)
A particular individual fossil?
[CdM] Individual fossil - YES (if you accept it's a fossil)
Begins with a "P"?
[pirach] The Tuj question? - There is at least one word begining with a 'P' on the card
A coal pit?
(Earlier question) I meant say, iron ore as opposed to stainless steel.
[Rosie] T'Pit? - Nay Lad - My answer to your earlier question stands, though it may be misleading.
Precambrian shale?
Does the answer include reference to a resinous preservative?
A geological feature?
The ruins of Pompeii?
Now on display at Fratton Park.
Homing in
[irach] Remnants of the pre-cambrian explosion? - NO
[Dujon] Resinous? - NO
[CdM] Rocky? - NO
[Rosie] Don't you think there's a bit more smoke than usual up there? - strictly speaking, NO, but the huge applause means that it's only fair to say that the word 'Pompeii' is on the card.
The Piltdown Man?
Pompeii and Herculaneum?
following Rosie's lead.
[FGZstar] You can't see the join? - NO
[Software] Pompeii and Herculaneum? - NO (the audience subsides)
An apology and correction
The response to Gusset Login's question some time ago - 'Made by Man?', should have been 'YES - to some extent'. I don't think it's actually put you much off the scent.
Pompeii ash?
Or the casts of the victims buried by Pompeii ash?
Nearly there
[irach] Put that cigarette out! - NO
[jim] Casts of victims - YES, but still needs a bit more precision
"Pompeii Plaster Casts" of victims
So close
[irach] You need to consider the answer to one of CdM's questions. If yours had been the words on the card I would have given the baton to jim.
The reconstruction of Pompeii and Herculaneum?
So we're talking a specific cast of a specific victim, then?
A plaster cast of a man-made object?
The man made plaster cast of the "Dog of Pompeii"?
To cut to the chase:
irach has it. It is The dog of Pompeii
I feel I lost the plot a bit there in that, although I knew when I set it that the object was a plaster cast of the natural void where the dog had been, I got that confused with a petrified object in some answers. Sorry.

A plaster cast of where a baton once was is passed on to irach.

Hot-diggity dog! Canis diggiti-calidae!. Me again? The next one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and some MINERAL connections.
Fictional?
The Adherence of the Repeated Meme?
[GLogin] Umm...hard one to answer...The entire phrase on the card is fictional in its overall abstract sense, but is based on a very real entity or phenomenon.
[FGZstar] No Meme. Not by a long shot.
Something to do with space travel?
A saying?
Single geographic location?
[Dujon] No space travel involved.
[Juxtapose] Yes, a saying.
[Software] Not a single geographic location.
Is the animal a domestic pet?
Raining cats and dogs?
[ImNotJohn] Definitely not a domestic pet, except to perhaps the most intrepid pet owner.
[Software] See above; therefore not feline and canine showers.
An Elephant in the room?
[FGZstar] No pachyderm involved, in the room, or otherwise.
Is the answer the title of some artistic work?
The cow jumped over the moon?
[CdM] No, not the Moo-na Lisa or any title of an artistic work.
[Rosie] A good guess, but no bovine-lunar connection here whatsoever.
Does the answer involve action, essentially?
Sneezing?
Is the animal an existing non-human species?
A Chinese proverb or an Aesop's Fable?
Is the animal, as it were, a fierce creature?
[Rosie] There is a verb signifying an action of some sort on the card.
[Dujon] Not sneezing.
[CdM] Yes, an existing non-human species.
[FGZstar] Not a Chiness proverb or Aesop's fable.
[jim] The reputation of the animal in question is definitrly fierce and/or scary.
Is the animal a member of the cat family?
Is the animal doing something that it would habitually do in the wild?
The lion was not so much fierce as was painted.
[Juxtapose] Not a feline.
[Gusset Login] In the literal sense, yes, doing what it does in the wild; in the abstract sense, not really.
[FGZstar] Not leonine.
Is it a mammal?
Live with wolves, and you learn to howl?
Does 'cooling the blood' come to mind?
[jim] Not a mammal.
[FGZstar] See above answer, therefore no. No Mowgli, or any dancing wth wolves.
[Dujon] Nothing involving an subtantial "cooling the blood" as far as I am aware.
Is the animal a shark?
[CdM] Not a shark.
Crying crocodile tears?
A Fish out of Water?
Is the animal an insect?
[GussetLogin] Not piscine.
[CdM] Not an insect.
[ImNotJohn] You got it! The exact words on the card! "Crying crocodile tears" it is! The crocodile baiting hook is passed.
Coo - me again!
Well, I was going to edge myself towards it, but I decided just to have a stab.
This one is simply Animal
Human?
[Software] Human? - YES - (I have awarded myself points for guessing the first question - and what do points mean?)
Alive?
Get the obvious ones out of the way...
Topical?
Points are measures of cider in Somerset, according to Jack Dee half an hour ago.
An association with football?
Raol Moat?
Female?
Younger than thirty?
[jim] Still with us? - NO
[Rosie] In the news? - NO, not particularly
[irach] Football Association? - NO
[FGZstar] Relate's man of the year? - NO
[CdM] Distaff? - NO
[Juxtapose] U30? - YES for 29 years and 364 days, then NO.
An author?
[irach] Author! Author!? - NO (he did have published and even prizewinning works, but that's not what you would know him for)
A clue!!
Aha! So his 30th birthday did not occur in the last ten months of a leapyear, or in the two following months!
Politician?
I knew I should have checked that
I was in a hurry, OK? However, the answer to Juxtapose, should have been 'YES for 29 years and 365 days, then NO'
[Projoy] Politician? - NO
An artist?
Nobel prize winner?
Albert Einstein?
[Rosie] Arty-farty? - NO
[Software] Up there with Kissinger? - NO
[FGZstar] Mrs Einstein's relative? - NO
Scientist and/or engineer?
[irach] Practical type? - NO
Born prior to 1850?
Disraeli?
[CdM] pre-1850 - NO
[SM] Dizzy? - NO
That's 9 NOs in a row, let's go for double figures.
Composer?
Political figure?
And on we go
[Rosie] Composer? - NO
[irach] Politician - NO (except in the very vaguest of senses - never elected, never held any political office)
Alfred Wainwright?
(Although I think you would have called him an author. He does fit the leapyear criterion, though!)
[CdM] The late great AW? - NO
Begins With a P?
Someone known for one particular feat?
Aww! You've spoiled it
[FGZstar] aka Tuj? - There is a word beginning with 'P' on the card (but you could get the answer without knowing that)
[CdM] One-hit-wonder? - YES (I'm sure he'd disagree, but history is cruel)
Royalty?
[FGZstar] Royalty? - NO *a little stirring in the audience*
The Artist Formerly Called Prince?
[Software] Tafkap? - NO
A religious figure?
[Irach] God-botherer (or god)? - NO *sounds of snoring from the audience*
A musician?
Nobility?
A sporting personality?
Progress
[FGZstar] Music Man? - NO
[GLogin] Nobility? - YES (well aristocracy, at any rate)
[CdM] Sporting Personality? - YES *a few exchanges of glances in the audience mixed with applause*
Pele?
[FGZstar] Senhor do Nascimiento (etc.)? - NO
Died in or around Munich?
British?
[FGZstar] Died in Munich? - NO
[irach] True Brit? - NO
The Nawab of Pataudi?
[Software] The Noob? - NO
To clarify: the audience reaction to the 'Sporting Personality' question needs to be borne in mind. I wasn't sure whether to answer yes or no to that question. Pele and the Nawab of Pataudi would definitely be Sporting Personalities.
Died within the last 20 years?
[FGZstar] Still warm? - NO
Died within the last 50 years?
[FGZstar] Died in last 50 years? - NO
A chess player?
American?
Percy McDonnell, or a Cricketer at least?
Under fifty years old at the time of death?
[CdM] Chess player? - NO, mate.
[irach] Yank? - NO
[FGZstar] Any of several thousand cricketers with a 'P' somewhere in the name? - NO (remember I said you wouldn't need the 'P' to get the answer - since I'm not going to insist you match the words on the card exactly)
[Juxtapose] Died young? - NO
A small clue in the form of a clarification: if CdM's question had been 'Sportsman?', the answer would have been 'NO'.
A sports commentator (in either a broad or narrow sense of the term)?
[CdM] Bill McLaren etc? NO (He would probably have said YES in the very broadest sense, but that's not why he's known)
A member of some sort of sporting organisational body, possibly the president?
Warming up
[FGZstar] Member/President of sporting organisation? - YES *Applause* You could quibble with the exact description but it's absolutely in the right area.
President of a sporting organisation?
Founder of some sporting organization?
Pierre de Coubertin?
[Rosie] Nice guess. I think you're right. At least it does seem to fit all the answers.
[Rosie] Correct! the words on the card are Pierre Frédy, Baron de Coubertin

One baton in the shape of a laurel wreath passed on.

Bit of a lurker's easy victory, given the clues. It had to be Coubertin, or possibly Jules Rimet.

Right - this one is essentially ABSTRACT.

Fictional?
(FGZStar) - NO, not fictional.
A scientific concept?
Artistic connection?
Yes, I thought it was pretty clear after FGZstar's key question. Interesting how difficult it was to home in on the area of importance.
Can you touch it?
I'm not saying anything. Whilst I concede that Rosie stated it first, I still must admit that I dislike the lurker's victory. No hard feelings, however, as I was convinced that the person in question had died within the last 50 years. I really must pay attention to the answers provided to my questions. I was thinking that it was a later president, anyway.
(CdM) - A scientific concept? - Hmm, the description is, but strictly NO. Nevertheless *cheers and applause from the audience*.
(FGZStar) - Tangible? YES, very much so, Gary.
It's normal to make some acknowledgement of a lurker's victory. The problem this time was that people were asking the questions before I had a chance to do so myself.
Electronic, possibly some form of microprocessor?
Is the thing that can be touched animal, vegetable or mineral?
Just trying to clarify the mysterious abstract but tangible.

It wasn't remotely a lurker's victory. Rosie had asked three prior questions in the round -- and even if he hadn't, he's a regular in the game, and the odd lurker's victory by a regular is no big deal. It's in the nature of AVMA that sometimes (probably most of the time) one person does the heavy lifting and opens up the answer for someone else.
Could this relate to silk cloth and glass rods?
(FGZstar) - NO, not electronic.
(CdM) - YES, one of the three, and most familiarly all three. The word on the card is Abstract in essence but can have a physical manifestation. Thanks for the endorsement, BTW.
(Dujon) (aside) He speaks in riddles. The answer is NO anyway.
Is the thing the sense of touch itself, as in the sense, which is tangible because it only exists when touching something?
(FGZstar) - NO, not the sense of touch.
Does the answer on the card contain a verb?
Air?
(Juxtapose) Contains a verb? - NO. Two words + the indefinite article.
(FGZstar) - NO, not air.
A printed document?
It's not another saying, is it?
(Software) - "Thank you for shopping at the Co-op"? - NO, not a document.
(FGZstar) - A saying? NO, not this time.
Does this have both a metphorical and literal meaning?
(CdM) Both metaphorical and literal? - NO, literal only.
Is it related to a physical phenomenon?
(INJ) - Related to a physical phenomenon? - In one particular case, YES, but otherwise the general answer would be NO. *some polite applause from certain members of the audience*.
Related to a specific emotion?
Would this, Rosie, describe some possible future event?
(Juxtapose) - NO, nothing to do with emotions. The abstract nature of the answer is of a completely different sort.
(Duj) - NO, not to do with the future.
Present in everyday life?
A naturally occurring phenomenon?
Essentially ephemeral?
(FGZstar) - Present in everyday life? In one sense, YES, but more realistically, well not really.
(CdM) A naturally occuring phenomenon? Well, not really a phenomenon but an otherwise honest answer is YES. *some vigorous applause*
(INJ) Ephemeral? Not really applicable but in some cases most certainly NO.

Then answer is one example of an abstract property of a material or imaginary object.

Affecting the colour or shape of the object?
(FGZstar) - Colour or shape of an object? YES. *vigorous applause*
A fuzzy navel?
(FGZstar) - Big Boy's Belly Button? Not really. Not at all, in fact.
Is it something that most people here will have experienced in some way?
Is it specifically just to do with colour?
A black look?
(CdM) - Experienced by the average Morniverser? - Mmm, difficult, that. You don't really experience it, but another answer could be YES.
(INJ) Specifically to do with colour? - NO.
(Softers) - If looks could kill - NO.
Specifically just to do with shape?
(FGZstar) - Just to do with shape? - YES. *Huge applause*
A square peg?
(irach) - Square peg - NO, nor even square.
A convex slope?
The fellwalker's curse.
A round belly?
A black hole?
Making the rounds?
A sharp edge?
A love triangle?
(INJ) - Can't see where I'm going? - NO.
(FGZstar) - Fat bastard? - NO.
(Softers) - The gateway to oblivion? - NO.
(irach) - "And how are we today?" - NO. (Not metaphorical).
(INJ) - Honed to perfection?- NO.
(all) - Equilateral promiscuity? - NO.

The answer is simply a shape, with no specific object implied, though one particular object strongly suggests itself.

A perfect circle, or a perfect square?
(FGZstar) - Circle or square? - NO
Is this some sort of crystaline structure?
(Dujon) - A crystalline structure? - NO.
Is the shape in question 2dimensional?
An oblate spheroid?
Diamond shaped?
(FGZstar and irach) - NO, because CdM has it. Well done. It's an oblate spheroid, a sphere that's fat round the middle. The obvious example is the earth, but any planet really, because they all rotate.
I hand the angular momentum to CdM.
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and (perhaps) MINERAL connections
Starts with P?
P-begun? No.
Is the vegetable component a fabric?
Darwin's Origin of the Species?
Whole cloth? No.
Talking about an evolution? No.
A theory or hypothesis?
Theory or hypothesis? No.
Is the vegetable component usually a carrot?
Carrot? No. *audience laughter*
Phrase or saying?
Phrase or saying? No (technically I suppose the words on the card are a phrase, but not in the sense I understand you to mean).
A book?
Is the animal connection human?
An activity or event?
[FGZstar] I did the Origin of Species about 10 clues back...
Literary? No.
Oh, the humanity!? No.
Doing something? No.
Are the animal and vegetable elements edible?
Animal and vegetable elements edible? Yes. *some applause, mainly because the audience was getting bored*
A recipe?
A recipe? No.
Is the edibility of these elements important to the words on the card?
In other words it's not just happenstance.
The importance of being Edible? Yes *applause*
A knuckle sandwich?
Meat and two veg?
A square meal?
Mineral salt?
a TV dinner?
What, fisticuffs? No.
Filet mignon a la Bearnaise, mousseline d'asperges and chips?* No.
Pavé de boeuf? No. *some audience laughter*
See how they run? No.
Masterchef? No.

*Which is a reprise of the answer I gave last time someone tried that guess in an AVMA I was setting
A snack?
A 3 course meal, or 4 square meals a day?
Is the answer a description of a meal?
A nutritional concept?
Does it relate to a diet?
Afternoon elevenses? No.
Aperitif, main course, digestif OR breakfast, lunch, dinner, another dinner? No.
Mealy? No.
Nutritional? No.
Weight watchers? No. *laughter*
Just to clarify - my previous question was not restricted to a weight-loss diet.
A fat chance?
Does it relate to production rather than consumption, i.e. agriculture etc.?
Obesity?
Diet of worms? Still No.
Fluffy dice? No.
Production rather than consumption? It doesn't particularly relate to either. It doesn't have any connection to agriculture.
Obesity? No.

I think you need to ask more questions. You are going down some very specific lines of guessing based on very little information. So far, just to reprise, the only useful positive information you have is that the animal and vegetable connections refer to something that is edible (and that the edibility is relevant rather than incidental).
A figurative meaning?
Figurative? I think the expression on the card may occasionally be used in a figurative sense, but the best answer is No.
Any literary or artistic connections?
Arty? No significant literary or artistic connections that I am aware of.
I'm trying to think of a clue. One route to the answer is certainly by trying to find out more about the edible connection. In another sense, though, this idea is broader -- I could have specified essentially the same idea without any necessary reference to food at all.
"To live off the fat of the land"?
Fatland? No. Pretty clearly figurative, that.
Would the edible part be offensive in any way to either Jews or Muslims?
Not koshalal? No.
Is the aminal/vegetable connection a concoction of some kind (e.g. 'Toad in the Hole' or 'Haggis')?
Concoted? The AV connection is a prepared foodstuff of some kind, yes. *some scattered amused applause*
s/concoted/concocted. Also, by "foodstuff" I do not mean to imply a single ingredient (obviously enough, since there are both animal and vegetable connections).
To do with greed?
Is the foodstuff heavily processed?
Greed-related? You could perhaps make a connection but the best answer has to be No.
Heavily processed? Well, ingredients are combined and then cooked in a certain way. If that counts as heavily processed, yes. The ingredients themselves are also for the most part processed to some degree.
*retires for the nonent*
I love aminals
Does the answer describe a type of behaviour?
Spam?
Type of behaviour? No.
Spam? No
Curry related?
Vindaloo? No.
Do the words on the card describe an item?
An item? I suppose the answer is Yes, though "item" seems a slightly odd word in this context, given that the words on the card are describing something abstract.
By the way, as a follow-up to Rosie's question a while back, googling the phrase on the card does turn up one figurative use, and there may be others. But the one that shows up on a google search is pretty arcane (I'd never heard of it, and I would have been more likely to have come across it than most people here). So I don't think hunting for the figurative use will get you anywhere.
Eh?
Eh? No.
Anything to do with linguistics?
Linguisticky? No.
(I don't think this one is inherently terribly difficult. It's just no one has yet come up with a question that unlocks it in any real way. And no, that's not a clue.)
Any connection with politics /public affairs?
Connection with politics? No. (Actually, the figurative meaning that I alluded to earlier is associated with a particular public policy question/debate, but as I said, I really can't imagine that will help you.)
Can this be used to help people in everyday life?
Useful? No.
Any connection with economics?
Connected to economics? No.
Is it lickable wallpaper?
Lickable wallpaper? Nope. Not abstract enough.
When I was originally thinking of setting this I wanted to describe it simply as "this has animal, vegetable and mineral connections". Then I descided that it was still technically abstract.
Is colour involved?
Colour? No.
Is the food a dessert?
Progress!
Dessert? Not usually a dessert as such, but (almost always) sweet rather than savoury.
Food Pills?
Cake?
Food pills? No.
Cake? No (but a *smattering of applause*)
A sweet tooth?
Sweet tooth? No.
Brioche?
I'm sure I've seen an episode of QI in which Stephen Fry said that Marie Antoinette actually said "Let them eat Brioche, and so I wonder if that is the thing you are referring to?
Brioche? No. *another smattering of applause*. A reminder that the words on the card refer to something abstract, however.
As for let them eat brioche, I have seen that too. However, I actually ended up researching* that story recently, and discovered that historians think it unlikely that Marie Antionette actually said anything of the sort.

*Wikipedia
A croissant?
I did see something about a mathematical formula for a croissant shaped tissue expander, and thought it could maybe be that.
Croissant? No . *the smatterers provide another smatter, but more out of habit than anything else*
Pain Au Chocolat?
Pain au chocolat? No. *smatter*
breakfast?
Any type of pastry?
Is the shape of the foodstuff significant?
Breakfast? No, though this is frequently a breakfast foodstuff.
A pastry? Not technically, but sort of in the same space.
Significantly shaped? Yes! *the audience leaps to their feet and gives a relieved standing ovation*
Doughnuts?
Mmmm... Donuts....
The word doughnut appears on the card, yes. But remember you are looking for something abstract. *applause*
The hole in a doughnut
OK then!
Excuse the double post - but I left it nearly an hour
Phew!
The hole in a doughnut is correct! One baton bent into a circle and joined at the ends passed on. Not sure why that one took so long...
OK - I think it was to do with the abstractness of the answer which nevertheless had to be defined purely in terms of the non-abstract 'frame' (so to speak).
Anyway, having dealt with that without licking my lips I give you:
primarily VEGETABLE with Animal and Abstract connections
A turnip shaped like a thingy?
Any artistic connection?
[jim] Turnip for the books? - NO (Funny you should say that, because I've got....)
[CdM] Artistic connection? - YES *Sharp intakes of breath amongst the audience*
Made of wood?
Tracy Emin's bed?
Unique?
Decorative?
A form of pigment (e.g. paint)?
A lovely bunch of coconuts?
[Raak] Ligneous? - NO
FGZstar - Open to all-comers? - NO
[CdM] One is one? - YES
[Rosie] Ooh innit nice? - NO
[Dujon] Hogment? - NO
See them all a-standin in a row? - NO
Floral?
[Phil] Bloomin lovely? - NO
[flerdle] - sorry, didn't mean to miss your name off - have a clue as an apology:
I could have described it as Animal, Vegetable and Mineral with Abstract connections but thought the actual definition I used was more helpful.
Made of some sort of vegetable fibre?
A sculpture of someone made from vegetables?
Or the annoying orange?
[Raak] High-fibre? - YES
[FGZstar] Oh, you mean the sculpture is made from vegetables - NO
[ditto] Sarky seville? - NO (don't really understand the question, but I'm sure of the answer)
Fictional?
[jim] Made-up? NO (I'm one of those pedants who would call a fictional object 'Abstract')
Paper based product?
[Software] Papery? - NO
Clothing of some kind involved?
Are copies of the item available for purchase?
The 2012 Olympic Mascot?
Found in most households?
[FGZstar] clothing? Hmmm. I think I'm going to answer NO, but I could easily justify YES as well.
[CdM] Have you got that in pink plastic with fairy lights? - YES
[FGZstar] The Olymprick? - NO
[Phil] Domestic normality? - NO *some chuckles in the audience*
Is it worn for ornamental purposes?
[Raak] Prettifying? - NO *some more chuckles in the audience*
In case I didn't make it clear, the audience found my answer to CdM's first question controversial - some of you may think the same.
Used for recreational purposes?
[Phil] Plaything? - NO *audience etc.*
Is it larger than a telephone-box-sized representation of a toaster?
[CdM] Will he stop talking if I press this lever? - YES, Probably and NO
Made of cotton?
(CdM, INJ) I've told you two boys......
Are the copies the same size as the original?
Rosie] Really reely? - NO
[Raak] Life-size copies? - NO (in the vast majority of cases at any rate)
A building of some kind?
Should your answer to my previous question be interpreted as three answers, one for each dimension?
[FGZstar] A (very small) building? - NO?
[CdM] 3D? - YES (greater in 1 dimension, about the same in the 2nd and less in the 3rd)
(That's than a telephone box not a toaster.)
Is it foldable?
Is it rigid?
[CdM] Pliable? - YES *the audience is looking interested*
[jim] Board stiff? - NO
Is it a tapestry?
[Software] Gobelinish? - NO *a little ripple*
Closing in
I think this may now well be guessable from the information you have.
A rug, possibly sheepskin or shagpile?
Or a red carpet?
[FGZstar] Not any sort of floor covering.
Curtains, or maybe padded silk wallpaper?
It's all there, you know
[FGZstar] Decor? - NO
Check out CdM's first 2 questions again
Some form of designer Jute bag?
[FGZstar] Bagette? - NO (Not exactly unique)
Did the earlier audience reaction indicate that some would view this as a work of art but others would disagree?
[CdM] Yes, but is it art? - YES (and not on aesthetic grounds)
Tie Dye?
[FGZstar] Aging Hippie stuff? - NO *faint snoring heard from audience*
Has it been in a museum/gallery?
Is the colour(?) of this black?
Is this item located in Europe?
[Phil] In a museum/gallery? - YES (to a fairly broad interpretation of the words - it has been on public display.)
[Dujon] Black? - NO
[CdM] In Europe? - YES
I'll clarify my answer to Phil's question. To my (or wikipedia's) knowledge it has never been in a museum or art (or other) gallery. However it has on occasions been on public display in a dedicated space.
Is there writing on it?
[jim] Written on? - NO (actually there are claims that there is some writing on it, but I didn't know that when I set it - it's certainly not what you would think of).
Is there a religious significance to the item?
Aha!
[Phil] Imaginary friends? - YES *Prolonged and relieved applause from the audience*
The Shroud of Turin?
And the winner is...
[irach] You got it. The Shroud of Turin it is!

One slightly singed baton passed on.

[ImNotJohn] Thanks, but I am going to busy and away on business the next couple of days, so I'd like to pass the baton on in turn to Phil, who I really think was on to "The Shroud of Turin" as well with his question pertaining to the "religious significance" of the words on the card. So, Phil, it's all yours...
Ow!
*kicks self*
...third attempt to post without being interrupted
[irach] You really are too generous. I wasn't THAT close to the shroud, but I did have a feeling it was some kind of religious artefact. Given your unavailability and kid offer, I will gladly take up the baton on your behalf, for the first time in absolutely yonks!
Right, let's go for MINERAL, sometimes with a little vegetable
Is the vegetable wood?
Any precious minerals?
[Raak] Wood? YES, but not exclusively
[FGZstar] Precious minerals? NO
A naturally occuring substance?
A manufactured object?
Is the vegetable unintentional?
A geographical feature?
[Dujon] Natural? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? YES
[Gusset] Accidental vegetable? NO
[INJ] Geographical feature? NO
Some form of building?
Maybe a skyscraper such as the empire stste building?
Bigger than a 4-slice toaster?
[FGZ] A building? NO *some interest from the audience*
[INJ] bigger than 4 slice toaster? YES, in all 3 dimensions
Is it a unique object?
A statue or Sculpture?
Maybe lady liberty?
A garden object?
Made of stone?
Is it primarily functional?
[jim] Unique? NO
[FGZ] Statue? NO
[Rosie] Garden object? NO
[GL] Primarily functional? YES *a tiny suggestion of applause*
Can you pick it up with one hand?
A signal of some kind?
Begins with a P?
[Raak] Pickupable-onehandedly? NO *giggles from audience*
[FGZ] Signal? NO
[Tuj] P...... ? NO
Made of concrete?
(Also, you missed INJ's related question.)
A steam locomotive?
[Rosie] I think that's what the psychiatrists call "transference".
Apols to [INJ] Made of stone? NO
[CdM] Made of concrete? YES *applause*
[Rosie] A steam loco? NO. alas
Unique?
Can a person go inside?
[Software] You think all but one have been destroyed since Jim asked?
Some other form of structure?
Such as a bridge?
Normally seen in groups?
(Rather than being used singly)
Usually found outside?
A concrete bollard?
[CdM] doh!
[Software] Still unique? NO
[CdM] Can a person go inside? YES *some applause mixed with mutterings from the audience*
[FGZ] Other form of structure? YES *same mix of sounds from the audience again*
[INJ] Seen in groups? NO
[GL] Usually outside? YES *gentle applause*
[Software again] Bollards? NO
Does it have an industrial purpose?
A shelter of some kind?
(CdM) Transference? Of course. But up to that point it fitted. :-)
A shed or barn of sorts?
[INJ] Industrial? NO
[Rosie] Shelter? NO
[irach] Shed/barn? NO
About the same size as phone booth?
A bridge?
Possibly tower bridge?
[irach] Phone booth sized? NO
[FGZ] Bridge? NO
A tunnel?
[Rosie] A tunnel? NO, but a tunnel might be incorporated.
A sewer?
A tube station?
Possibly the one that must not be mentioned as it would cause a game end sequence?
[GL] A sewer? NO
[FGZ] Tube station? NO *audience starts to lose interest*
A highway or rail route?
[irach] high- or rail-way? NO
Time for a summary, methinks.
The words on the card relate to something that is Mineral, often with a little vegetable
Positives established are:
  • The vegetable portion is wood
  • It is manufactured
  • bigger than a 4-slice toaster in all 3 dimensions
  • primarily functional
  • made of concrete
  • A person can "go inside"
  • some other kind of "structure" (other than building or statue/sculpture)
  • Usually outside

Negatives established are:
No precious minerals; not naturally occurring; no accidental vegetable material; not a geographical feature; not a building, not unique; not a garden object; not made of stone; can't be picked up in one hand; not a signal; doesn't start with P; not a steam locomotive; not seen in groups; not a bollard; not industrial; not a shed/barn; not a shelter; not phone-box-sized; not a bridge; not a tunnel per se (but may incorporate a tunnel); not a sewer; not a tube station; not a highway nor a railway.

The audience were appreciative of it being outdoors, primarily functional and made of concrete. They were given to debate amongst themselves as to whether a person could go inside, or whether it was a form of structure. I am, however, confident of saying YES to both of these.

A subway?
Some form of outdoor furniture?
Possibly a bench or picnic table?
[Raak] Subway? NO (MAY incorporate a tunnel, but not in the majority of cases)
[FGZstar] Outdoor furniture? NO (a person can go inside?)
A dam?
A cooling tower?
Any military connection?
[FGZstar] A dam? NO (it's not industrial)
[GL] Cooling tower? NO (ditto)
[INJ] Military? NO
Would a person normally go inside it?
[jim] Hmmm...*reconsults dictionary*
Hidden textinside (n): on the inner side or part of; within

Would a person normally go inside it? YES is the potentially misleading, but correct, answer.
Agricultural?
Not sure if it would count as industrial, so a grain silo?
A concrete overcoat?
Were these things ever made before the 20th century?
When you are 'inside' it, is there a roof over your head?
A cellar?
Concrete Boots?
[FGZstar] Agricultural? NO
[GL] Concrete overcoat? NO
[Raak] Made before 20th century? NO *Audience re-awakens*
[INJ] "inside" = "indoors"? NO *applause*
[Rosie] Cellar? NO
[FGZstar] Concrete boots? NO
A sports stadium?
Would this be found in a Winter Olympics competition?
A wall of some sort?
[Rosie] Sports stadium? Using Wordnet's definition
Hidden texta large structure for open-air sports or entertainments
 YES (other dictionaries would lead to "NO, not strictly" being the answer) *Best applause yet!*
[Dujon] Winter Olympics? NO
[Raak] A wall? NO
Half pipe?
As in skateboarding
[GL] A half-pipe? NO *rapturous and enthusiastic applause in anticipation of an early conclusion*
A sewer?
A skate park?
Blatantly taking off Gusset Login's guess, here.
[Software] A sewer? Hmmmm...that's still a NO, as nothing has changed since Saturday :-)

[jim] We have a winner! - a skatepark (or skate park) it is!

Hidden textI got a skateboard for my birthday, which I'm calling a midlife crisis on a budget. I used to be quite handy on a skateboard in the late 70s, but kick-flips, ollies etc hadn't been invented then

So, one baton with its jeans hanging off passed on to jim
[Phil] Just a quick query - why is that concrete and wood? The one I know best is all metal - I suppose the wood could be the boards.....
[INJ] Metal skatepark...hmmm I've not come across one. All the ones I know are concrete, with the odd wooden ramp thrown in for old-times' sake (plus some trees and fencing). I've now done some further searching and found that you are right. I was working mainly from a quote from a skateboarding magazine that concrete is the industry standard these days. My apologies if that threw people completely off the scent.
Ooh, is it me? OK, I am thinking of a ABSTRACT, with animal, vegetable and mineral connections.
Animal connection human?
Fictional?
Related to the arts?
[Humanimal] Yes.
[Pulp fiction] No.
[Arty farty] You could say so, but in the way "The Arts" is generally understood, the answer is no.
A published work?
A human construct?
(oblig)
A geographical feature?
[Crime and publishment] No.
[Constructive] Yes.
[Geomantic] No.
A phlosophical idea/concept/construct?
Related to any form of government?
The pledge of allegiance?
[Eeeeeeeeeeemannuel Kant...] Nope.
[Governmental] No.
An engineering design of some kind?
Related to the sciences?
A phrase or saying?
[Engine ears] No.
[Scientism] In the same way as it's related to the arts, i.e. not really.
[Rearrange the following...] No.
Is the animal connection a single specific human?
A concept?
[Singularity] Nope.
[Conceptuality] No.
Is this an action?
[Action this] Not an action as such, although there is a particular activity involved.
Waterskiing?
[Waterskiing] Nope. Firefox doesn't even think it's a word.
A deliberate 'no ball' in a game of cricket?
Sorry, sorry, I'll go away now.
Some kind of sport involved?
[Duj] Please stay, daft guesses keep the game running.
[Goebbels] Nope.
[Sporty] Not unless you're using a broad definition of "sport".
A certain type of position?
Does the action mentioned involve large numbers simultaneously?
Connected with human interactions?
[Assume the position] No.
[Large numbers] If "large numbers" means what I think it means, then yes.
[Interactivity] Yes, human interactions are involved.
Some signs of interest from the audience, mainly due to finally getting a couple of affirmatives
A flash mob, or maybe a mexican wave?
Would this be a board game?
The Glastonbury Festival?
I think that's its proper title.
A historical event (or series of events)?
[Flash ... AAAH!] No.
[Bored game] No.
[Festival of Mud] No, but you're getting warmer.
[Hysterical event] No. Well ... no.
Some members of the audience are nudging others awake
Some form of festival?
Woodstock?
[Festivities] Yes. Audience applause
Edinburgh Festival?
A Music Festival?#
The Edinburgh Fringe?
Related to food or drink?
[Auld Reekie] Nope.
[The sound of...] No, although there is music involved.
[Fringey] No.
[Alimentary, my dear...] Yes. Audience applause
The GBBF?
[GBBF] YES! Audience goes wild. The Great British Beer Festival it is! One slightly sticky baton passes to INJ.
Well, that's what my previous question had had in mind, so I don't feel too guilty about asking 2 questions in a row - and I did leave over an hour between guesses.

So the next one is ABSTRACT with Animal Connections

Does animal = human?
[FGZstar] Human animal? - YES, mostly.
Fictional?
[GL] Tall tales? - YES
A traditional tale such as Little Red Riding Hood?
Well this is going well
[Rosie] Once apon a time? - YES (with slight reservations)
A Hans Christian Anderson story?
Aaah, you've spoiled it.
[FGZstar] Danish and Scandinavian books? - NO
On a religious theme?
[Raak] God-bothering? - NO is easily the best answer
Made into a Walt Disney film?
Made into a non-disney animated film?
Related to knights in shining armour?
Aesop's Fables?
[FGZstar] Walt disnae? - NO
[GL] Other animated film? - NO *some murmuring in the audience*
[Duj] Tin Men? - NO
[Rosie] Aesop? - NO *a small ripple of applause*
The audience is definitely awake after that series of questions.
La Fontaine?
[Raak] The Urinal? - NO
Was this tale known in antiquity (say, BC anywhere)?
[Raak] BCE story? - NO, on current evidence.
Babes in the wood?
[FGZstar] Pre-freudian paedophilia? - NO
Anthropomorphised animal(s)?
[Rosie] Bunnykins etc.? - NO
Greek connection?
One of the canterbury tales?
[Phil] Attic? - NO
[FGZstar] Chaucerian? - NO
Collected by the Grimms?
[Raak] Eeh it's Grimm? - NO *the audience is settling down again for a long haul*
The Chronicles of Narnia?
Is the human part of the animal part a part of a partitioned animal (in the sense, say, of a centaur)?
The boy who cried wolf?
Going off at a tangent
[FGZstar] Religious metaphors? - NO
[Dujon] Part man, part ....? - NO (If I hadn't done some research, I would just have answered 'YES' to the 'Human?' question - so it's probably not a helpful angle)
[GL] Serial false alarms? - NO
Both animals and humans in the story?
[FGZstar] Animals & Humans? - Animals are not significant in the answer
Attempting to adjust orbit:
Something to do with 'artificial intelligence'?
Good thought, but actually getting colder
[Dujon] AI? - NO
A porky pie?
[Software] Coo, what a whopper? - NO (Well, it's fiction, but I assume that isn't what you meant)
A clue: There is one word on the card with no article.
Related to a television program?
[Juxtapose] Boxy? - NO *a few chuckles in the audience*
Is the answer on the card the name of a mythical/legendary/fictional 'person'?
Well, it's been a bit quiet in here of late.
I thought you'd all gone to sleep
[Dujon] Mythical Person? - YES *the applause from some of the audience wakes the rest*
Rumplestiltskin
Shrek?
[FGZstar] I'll guess that name in 3? - NO
[Software] Schrecklich? - NO
None of the guesses have really been in quite the right genre, although you've got close to identifying it a couple of times
Magical in some way?
[FGZstar] Just like that!? - NO *A very few audience members purse their lips*
Is this word also the title of a book?
[Dujon] Eponymity? - NO
Blair?
Which, you may ask.
[Software] Journeyman? - NO
You really don't know enough to be guessing actual names/answers. I'll try to think of a hint.
You don't know language/culture, location, author, time set/written/drawn/sung, symbolic importance, etc. - some of these would help (but possibly not all)
Written by a british author?
Start with the hard one, why don't you?
[FGZstar] British author? - Tricky one. I don't know. YESish is probably the best answer, but if there was a single author it's doubtful if they would have considered themself British.
An Anthology of short stories?
[FGZstar] Short stories? - NO (technically the person does appear in a collection of stories, most of which are short, but yes would lead you wildly off-track)
I'm going to be offline from later this evening until Sunday evening (for reasons known to people on Dan's site). I'll pop in again in a couple of hours.
Rhyming?
.. anxious not to offend
(ImNotJohn) Should I be asking 'people on Dan's site' why you haven't returned?
Sorry about that
I've just spent a week away in the South-West, but although I had my laptop and 3G card I had no connectivity at all. Anyway, back now, so:
[Spangle] Rhyming? - NO (actually, I'm not quite sure of that, but I would be surprised if it were). I will attempt to get a definitive answer, but assume NO
Where are we?
Who am I?
A Superhero?
[Software] Ubi? - On a speck of dust
[GL] Quis? - You are Gusset Login and I claim my £5
[Spangle] Superhero? - YES, though possibly not in the sense you're thinking of.
Originating before 1000AD?
Ooh, a question!
[Phil] 1st millennium? - This could be one of 2 questions - I'll answer them both.
YES - the mythical person referred to is from pre-1000CE
NO(ish) The written work(s) referring to the person are post 1000 (but with internal evidence of earlier works)
Merlin?
[Software] Rolls Royce? - NO
Noah?
OK, I'm down to guessing now. Sorry.
Is this something to do with the bible?
[Dujon] Noah? - Ah NO.
[FGZstar] Biblical? NO
I know that I didn't help by my absence, but I'm surprised that this has got so stuck. I think you need to pin it down to a culture/location before guessing names.
Related to the Egyptians?
Imhotep? (Actually an Architect)
From Asia?
[FGZstar] - Egypt? - NO
[GL] Asia? - NO
Europe?
[GL] European? - YES
Germany?
Ancient Greek character?
Nordic?
[GL] Germanic? - NO
[Phil] Lost in the attic? - NO
[Software] A Thor point? - NO
UK?
Aha!
[Phil] UK? - YES (primarily) *the sole remaining member of the audience applauds*
Is the word 'magician' relative to the answer?
Is one of the authors Malory?
[Dujon] Magician-related? - NO
[IS,P] Malory? - NO
Regal?
Bat's dos. I notice that Knnnnniggets in armour was already a NO. Duuuh.
[IS,P] Royalty? - NO (at least the named character is not a monarch although there are connections to royalty)
A person from legend/fable?
Thank goodness for that!
[Phil] Legendary/fabulous/almost Beckhamesque? - YES
Male?
Beowulf?
(I know it's not right, but I'm hoping I might learn something from the audience reaction.)
Merlin?
[Phil] Male? - YES
[CdM] - Beowulf? - NO *the audience are all awake again and looking expectant*
[Spangle] Merlin? - This would be a different Merlin to the last one that was suggested and not a magician, I assume? - Still NO I'm afraid
Pryderi?
Getting closer
[CdM] Pryderi? - NO (he would have got a Yes on the Regal question)
From Celtic legend?
Finn MacCool?
Nearly there
[Phil] Celtic? - YES
[Spangle] Finn MacCool? - NO *the audience is torn between loud applause and gathering up bags, coats etc. ready to head for the exits*
Cuchulain?
A male legendary character from the UK, pre 1000AD, written about post 1000AD, one word, Celtic, not royalty...hmmm, don't think I'm right, but I need to rule Colin's Dog out.
[Phil] - YES CUCHULAINN it is!
The non-human element referred to the physical changes that affected him in battle when he suffered a beserker frenzy and turned into a sort of monster. As for the rest - exactly as you said - UK because he is mostly associated with Ulster.

A dusty cobwebbed baton handed on to Phil

Gosh - I was aware of the Ulsterness, and thought the animal smidgen might refer to his name, and status as Culann's hound (hence "Colin's Dog", which was a name I used in a few MUDs many years ago).
This time I'll go for ANIMAL
Human?
Mammal?
Merely a fall-back question should the answer to FGZ* be 'no'.
Single specific human/mammal/something else?
[FGZ] Human? NO
[Dujon] Mammal? NO
[CdM] A specific instance of a creature? NO (presuming I've interpreted the question correctly)
Aquatic?
Currently extant?
[Raak] Aquatic? NO
[INJ] Extant? YES
Reptilian?
[Dujon] Reptile? NO
Avian?
Dodo?
Naturally occuring in the UK?
[GL] Extant, not extinct.
Puffin?
Damn these eyes. I must get them replaced.
[INJ] Avian? YES *applause*
[GL] Dodo or puffin? NEITHER
[jim] UK-native? NO
A bird of prey?
[Raak] Bird of Prey? NO
Generally found in a watery habitat?
Waders, gulls, waterfowl etc
Flightless?
Parrot?
[INJ] Found in a watery habitat? NO *a smattering of laughter*
[GL] Flightless? YES *more laughter, mixed with applause*
[Software] Parrot? NO
Alive?
As opposed to, say, cooked.
Native to the continent of Oceania?
My first instinct is to say 'Kiwi'
Ostrich?
Turducken?
[INJ] Alive? NO *the distant echoes of previous laughter are replaced by rapturous applause*
[FGZstar] Native to Oceania? NO
[Software] Ostrich? YES-ish, but not the answer on the card. more applause*
[GL] Emu? NO
[jim] Turducken? eh? *sound of Phil googling* Ah! NO, alas.
A clue
The answer on the card is three words, one of which is the indefinite article.
A wild goose?
[Raak] A wild goose? NO
To clarify - perhaps my answer to Software should have been YES, rather than YES-ish. It's not the complete answer, though.
An ostrich egg?
[CdM] An ostrich egg? NO *much applause for two words out of three*
I'm predicting there will be at least one more incorrect guess :-)
sommat do with flaming resurrection?
An ostrich omelette?
Ostrich Egg Omlette?
being more precise
An ostrich steak?
[Dujon] Phoenix? NO
[GL] Omelette? NO
[Software] OMELETTE? NO
[Raak] An Ostrich Steak? YES - the very words on the card! I was expecting feather first. Please accept this low-cholesterol baton of ostrich meat.
Yum. The next is VEGETABLE and MINERAL.
Vegetable = wood?
A hammer?
[Software] Not wood.
[GL] Not a hammer.
Is the mineral metal?
[INJ] Not metal.
Is it man-made?
Edible?
[GL] Yes, man-made.
[Software] Edible? the audience murmurs, wondering how the referee will adjudicate this Strictly speaking, no.
Is the mineral liquid?
[INJ] It is liquid.
A nice cup of tea?
[jim] Not a nice cup of tea (but some applause from the audience).
The brew of a witch?
Is the vegetable paper/card?
[Dujon] Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble? No.
[INJ] Not paper/card.
A pint of beer?
[Software] Not a pint of beer.
A really bad cup of tea?
Containing alcohol?
[jim] Not bad either.
[Spangle] No alcohol.
Is it something that people normally choose to drink?
[GL] Yes, people drink it. (Hence it not being "edible".)
Normally drunk hot?
[INJ] Normally hot.
Associated with a particular place or culture?
[CdM] Particular place or culture? Um...very broadly. We're not talking about boiled yak's milk or infusion of Patagonian lemurs.
Ovaltine?
Used on occasion to promote sleepiness?
Cafe au lait?
A triple venti decaf skinny mocha latte with one shot of hazelnut syrup and whipped cream?
[Projoy] Not Ovaltine.
[Dujon] laughter Does not promote sleepiness.
[irach] applause! Not café au lait.
[CdM] Not, erm, that thing you said.
Contains coffee?
Is coffee?
I'll have a double espresso please.
[INJ] *applause*
[GL] *more applause*
[INJ] *cheering in the aisles* Of the 40,000 ways to prepare an infusion of Coffea arabica, it is indeed a double espresso. One stainless steel lead-weighted rosewood-handled coffee tamper passed on.
Coo
Moving along quickly then. This one is:
ABSTRACT with Mineral (and arguably Animal and Vegetable) connections
A human concept?
[Software] That human question? - YES
Is the mineral stone?
[CdM] Stony? - YES and NO (but more NO than YES)
Fictional?
[CdM] Fictional? - NO
Begins with T?
Unique?
Specifically cultural?
Ends with Y?
[Puj] FirstT? - YES (ish) - I would accept an answer with an initial T although it isn't the first letter on the card
[Dujon] Unique? - YES (at least as a human concept)
[CdM] Neither specifically cultural nor culturally specific in the normal sense of those phrases.
[GL] Yending? At last, an easy question - NO
Something people do?
[Software] An Action? - NO
BTW I've just looked again and technically 'T' is the initial letter on the card, but that's because it's the definite article.
Two word answer incl the definite article?
[Spangle] The Answer? - NO
(4, 5 or 6 words will be accepted - the 6 word version is on the card and starts with the definite article)
Confused enough yet?
Actually I can also think of a 2-word answer that I'd accept as well.
Does the answer contain a superlative?
Does the answer contain a number?
Do any of the words begin with P?
[Raak] Bestest? - NO
[jim] Numeric? - NO
[GL] P-ness? - YES
Scientific?
A geographical feature?
Does the answer involve damming?
[CdM] Boffinology? - YES *considerable audience applause*
[Raak] Geography? - NO
[Dujon] Dam your eyes? - NO (where did that one come from?)
A scientific law or theory?
Related to theoretical physics?
Related to applied physics?
Completely unrelated to physics?
[jim] law/theory? - NO
[CdM] Theoretical? - YES
[Projoy] Applicable? - YES
[GL] Unrelated? - I think you can guess this one;-) - NO
Does this have to do with standard weights and measures?
[Raak] Weights and Measures? - NO (well, actually it has got quite a lot to do with them, but not in a helpful way)
Might we poor souls who aren't very scientific have actually heard of this?
Rephrase: Is it a phrase or saying that is in common usage?
[Spangle] Well known to us poor non-scientists? - YES (I promise you'll know this). As to the rephrase, I wouldn't really call it a phrase or saying, but it is in common usage.
Does it have to do with levers?
[Raak] Momentous? - NO
Does the word Principle appear on the card?
[CdM] You should know by now that I'm completely unprincipled, so: NO
Does the word Power appear on the card?
[GL] Powerful? - NO
Electrical?
[Software] Electric? - NO
A summary
OK, it’s a non-fictional unique scientific human concept, but not a law or theory. It’s related to Physics, both theoretical and applied. The mineral connection is partly, but not predominantly to stone. It has nothing to do with electricity, levers, weights & measures (with some caveats – as a clue, I would say that you can draw a tenuous connection to an awful lot of things if you put your mind to it). There are 6 words on the card, one of which starts with P, the first word being the definite article – I will not insist on your getting the exact words. None of these words is a number nor a superlative.
It is not an action, nor is it culturally specific, nor to do with geography.

So, if it’s not a law or a theory but is a scientific human concept, what is it?

The periodic table of the elements?
Not really physics, but connected, and it fits the pattern of words.
Fallait y penser
[jim] Indeed yes. The periodic table of the elements it is
No-one asked the Chemistry question, but I couldn't really say it was not related to Physics.

Here, have this glowing transuranic baton before it disappears.

Takes glowing thingy with some caution
My hair is falling out fast enough as it is, thankyou. No, the physics thing was definitely the right call. It's amazing how misleading one can end up being--completely unintentionally--by simply answering the questions as asked.

Anyway, let's have a nice ANIMAL/ABSTRACT.

Is the animal element human?
[Jim] Many of us will sympathise with that. I've gotten myself terribly tied in knots before now, just trying to say "yes" or "no" truthfully.
Is the answer a fictional character?
[jim, Kim] I know exactly how that feels, I remember trying to decide if Jupiter was flammable.
Unique?
[Kim] Human: YES
[GL] Fictional character: YES
[INJ] Unique: YES

Well, it doesn't look like this is going to take long.

Related to Harry Potter?
Male?
[GL] "Is Jupiter Flammable?" There must be scholarly philosophical articles written on that very question.
[Raak] Potter: NO (phew!)
[GL] Male: YES
In a work originally published post 1899 CE?
Originally in written fiction?
Narrowing frighteningly fast
[INJ] Post 1899: YES
[Raak] Written: YES
Biggles?
Was the fiction written by a British author?
[Raak] Several, they generally conclude that there isn't enough oxygen (or mass if you want to use fusion to light it) but if you could provide that, then it would be.
An eponymous character?
[GL] British: NO
[INJ] Eponymous: NO (that is, there are many things named after this character, but the book in which he originally appears isn't.)
Raffles?
[Software] Raffles: NO
In a work originally published prior to 1999 CE?
[GL] Pre 1999: YES
Was the author American?
In a work originally published in English?
[Raak] American: YES
[CdM] In English: YES
Originally in a cartoon/graphic work?
[INJ] Cartoon: NO
Science fiction?
Would the creator of this character be blessed with a name that relates to the provision of particular goods and services?
Did this character appear in more than one book?
Is this character under the age of 20?
[Raak] Science fiction: NO
[Dujon] Service industry: NO
[CdM] Multiple books: As far as I know, NO. He's mentioned in other works, but the only book I know of that he actually appears in is a stand-alone.
[Spangle] Under 20: NO
Is the work based in a war zone?
Sorry, missed one
[Raak] Biggles: NO (you might have been able to infer this from other answers)
[INJ] War games: NO, it isn't Catch-22 :)
Oh dear, that's a major, major disappointment!
Sports connection?
[Software] Sporty: NO
"Other works" = film?
Written between 1950 & 1970?
[Phil] Film: That's not what I had in mind when I said it, but the original written work has been transferred to the silver screen.
[INJ] 1950-1970: YES
In children's literature?
[CdM] Kid stuff: NO
Holden Caulfield?
Getting the guess out of the way.
[INJ] Lousy...: NO (isn't he a "goddam minor"?)
Written in the sixties?
Did the book win a prize?
Yes, I missed Spangle's question. Also, of course, there has never been a film.
[Projoy] 60s: Mostly NO.
[INJ] Prize: YES
Was it the author's only published novel?
Does the book cover a span of several years (say, more than a decade)?
[INJ] The one and only: YES
[CdM] Decade plus: NO
Did the character share his name with a popular beat combo?
Give or take a letter.
[INJ] Popular beat combo: YES
If you don't put us out of our misery soon, you're going to get gazumped, and I for one will laugh :)
There are still at least 2 possible answers - even if my suspicions are correct.
Clarification
Actually I'm taking "give or take a letter" to mean "give or take a letter plus the definite article" in my answer to the previous.
Boo Radley?
Well, I know it's bad form to have 2 goes in a row, but it is over 24 hours since the last one. Assuming I'm heading in the right direction I should like to point out the existence of 'The Tom Robinson Band' and bands called 'Atticus Finch' and 'Scout', not to mention a singer called 'Jem'.
We have a winner
[INJ] YES! It is Arthur "Boo" Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird. A pale figure emerges blinking into the light and slips a baton into your hand before vanishing.
Your point is taken, although you could probably find a band called just about anything if you looked. I suppose I'm the right age and nationality to immediately think of The Boo Radleys if TKAM and bands come up together.
[jim] Sorry if that sounded like a complaint - I was thinking of The Boo Radleys as well when I asked the question (plus Tom Robinson in my comment afterwards). The rest were as a result of googling.
Anyway, since it's me again we'll try not to be too tricky. This next one is VEGETABLE with ABSTRACT connections
Is the vegetable wood?
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
Edible?
[GL] Woody? - Mostly YES *some applause and a few chuckles in the audience*
[Spangle] Phrase or saying? - NO (not that you won't have seen or heard the words on the card many times)
[CdM] Edible? - NO (or at least, almost entirely No)
Newton's apple tree?
Unique?
A religious reference?
Related to the Occult?
Related to Christmas?
[irach] Newtonian? - NO
[CdM] Only one? - YES
[Dujon] Religious? - NO
[GL] Wooooo? - NO
[Raak] Yule-y? - NO
Toaster < Words on Card < Telephone Box?
I'm a bit embarrassed given we have ladies present, but does this unique item have some sort of phallic symbolism (real or imagined)?
[CdM] Toaster < telephone box < Words on Card
[Dujon] Ooo-er Missus? - NO *a few chuckles*
Sherwood Forest?
Wow!
Hit the bullseye! Sherwood Forest it is.
One baton disguised as a quarter-staff handed on.
For a while there I couldn't see the forest for the trees ... The next one is simply ANIMAL
The Conservative Party?
Human?
[FGZstar] Good answer, but no.
[Gusset Login] Yes, human.
Mammalian?
[FGZstar] Human, so, yes mammalian.
Alive?
More than one human?
Famous?
[ImNotJohn] Dead as a doornail.
[Spangle] One human.
[Softers] Yes, famous.
Was alive in the 20th century?
A scientist?
Male?
[Raak] Not alive in the 20th century
[jim] Not a scientist
[Spangle] Yes, male.
Connected with the arts?
[ImNotJohn] The arts were one of the things he was known for.
European?
[Software] Yes, European.
A writer?
[ImNotJohn] Yes, a writer.
British?
[jim] Yes, a British writer.
Warm Blooded?
Born before 1800?
[all] Warm-blooded when he was alive, yes.
[Gusset Login] Born after 1800.
Popular novelist?
Known in other fields as well?
Apart from writing
[Software] Not a novelist.
[ImNotJohn] Known for at least one other field apart from writing.
Benjamine Disraeli?
[FGStar] Not Disraeli (but quite coincidentally all the letters in the last name of the person on the card are contained in "Disraeli"- HUGE HINT!)
Edward Lear?
[Raak] Right on. Edward Lear it is.
A runcible spoon in lieu of the traditional baton is handed over to Raak.
Begins with a...
...oh hang on, I'll come back later.
Looking for a 'P', Tuj? I've left a few for you; down the hall and turn left.
There was an old man of Morn. Crescent
Who received a mysterious present
"'Tis MINERAL!" he said
And nodded his head
That puzzling old man of Morn. Crescent.
Metal?
Begins with a P?
[INJ] Not metal.
[GL] Does not begin with a P.
Man-made?
Unique?
Liquid?
[Software] Hmm..."yes" is probably the less misleading answer.
[jim] There is only one.
[INJ] Not liquid.
Made of Stone?
[GL] *murmurings in the audience* No. Not made of stone.
Made of glass?
[Phil] Glass? Better not be. *laughter*
Used in a sporting context?
Plaster of Paris?
Geographic feature?
[INJ] Not sporting.
[FGZ*] Not PoP.
[CdM] Not geographic.
Is the answer on the card the name of a famous jewel?
[Dujon] *applause!* Spot on.
The Graff Pink?
Guessing at topicality
[Phil] Is that a reference to some royal betrothal? I haven't been following the news. Anyway, not the Pink 'Un.
The Koh-i-Noor?
[jim] Not the Koh-i-Noor.
A diamond?
[GL] Not a diamond.
:"The Star of India" sapphire?
[irach] Bollywood? No.
Is it a corundum?
[jim] It is a corundum.
Red or reddish?
[irach] Not red.
Was this a gem from Sri Lanka?
[Dujon] It is not known to be from Sri Lanka.
The sapphire in Kate Middleton'e engagement ring?
[FGZ*} Ah, is that her name? Having checked the latest news, I believe the corundum I have in mind is still in its traditional setting.
St. Edward's Sapphire?
[GL] The very one. Have this sapphire-headed sceptre.
[Raak] No, not royal. It broke the record for most expensive jewel this week.
That was unexpected. Let's go with a simple ANIMAL.
A simple human?
[Software] Human? Yes
[Software] Simple? I refuse to comment
Kate Middleton?
I think I'm getting the hang of this "news" thing.
[Raak] The Queen of the Future? No
Alive?
[Software] Alive? Not anymore
British?
Alive in the 20th century?
[Software] Brit? Yes
[Raak] C20? Yes
Writer?
[Software] Writer? No
Connected with the arts?
A political figure?
[INJ] Artsy? Yes
[Raaak] Politics? No
Entertainer?
[Software] Entertaining? Yes
An actor?
Michael Jackson?
Comic?
Female?
[INJ] Actor? Yes
[FGZ*] MJ? No
[Software] Comic? If you mean stand up comedian, then no.
[CdM] Girly? No
Has he won an Oscar?
[Raaak] Oscar? {Sounds of mirth from the Audience} No.
Better known from films rather than TV?
[INJ] Films > TV? No.
Norman Wisdom?
[Software] Sir Norman? No
Is he known for sitcom roles?
Did he die before the age of sixty?
Would half of an hour be an appropriate comment?
[Raaaak] Sitcom roles? He is known for a sitcom role but perhaps better known for other roles.
[CdM] Dead before Sixty? No
Hancock's Half Hour? No
Primarily known for roles on children's TV?
Sid James?
[INJ] Primarily known for Kids TV? It depends on your age and/or opinion of the programme. But possibly Yes.
[Software] Sid James? No
English?
Whovian?
[jim] English? Yes
[INJ] Related to Doctor Who? {Much applause from the audience that takes time to die down} Yes
Sylvester McCoy?
[Rak] Sylvester McCoy? Isn't English or Dead. So obviously, No.
Wurzel Gummidge?
Or rather Jon Pertwee.
[Software] Jon Pertwee? Yes! Have a sonic baton.
Who? me?
Well, well. Now I must think!

After due consideration: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE.

Is it unique?
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the animal alive?
A leather-covered writing desk?
Tuj - Unique? - NO
INJ - Wooden? - NO
GL - Alive? - NO
Raak - Bureau? - NO
Is it edible?
INJ - Edible - YES
Meat enclosed in bread?
Haggis, Neeps and Tatties?
A guess, since it's St Andrews day.
Raak - Ham sandwich? - NO
FGZ - Wee beastie? - NO
Does pie enter into the equation?
Culturally specific?
Meat enclosed in pastry?
GL - Pie? - YES
INJ - Non-universal? - YES, probably
Raak - Snake and Sidney - NO
Fish pie?
Shepherd's pie?
Spangle - Cod piece? - NO
FGZ - Spudlike? - NO
Is the answer the name of a dish?
Is pasta involved?
Is the animal part - meat?
Is it a custard pie?
INJ - Menu item? - YES
Raak - Italian? - NO
Spangle - Cow pie? - NO
GL - Laurel & Hardy? - NO
Is the animal part a dairy product?
Does the animal part include eggs?
INJ - Bovine? - Can be, YES
Raak - Fowl? - AFIK NO
*small voice*
I'm having a bit of difficulty understanding your replies as you seem to alter the question asked prior to responding, egs: 'cow pie' [I didn't ask that] 'bovine' and 'fowl', 'italian' etc. Sorry if this is the way this game should be played. Clearly, I'm not very good at it!
Chessecake?
That is, cheesecake?
Mind you, a chessecake would be interesting, with the chessemen made of plain and chocolate marzipan.
Raak - Cheesy? - NO
Spangle
Are you American?
Related to Christmas in any way?
FGZ - Seasonal? - YES
Mince Pie?
Phil - Yule fuel? - YES!

Phil has it! I therefore hand over the cracker-shaped baton.

Ooops!!!
Multiple and profuse apologies for my recent absence from this game. I offer no excuses, only reasons, which are too diverse and manifold to detail at this time.

The challenge I set is ANIMAL

human?
Alive?
Unique?
One of the man-eating sharks of Sharm el-Sheikh?
[INJ] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? YES and NO is the most correct answer I can give
[CdM] Unique? NO (which explains the previous answer)
[jim] Sharm-el-Shark? NO
Avian?
[INJ] Avian? NO
Do people eat these animals?
A sea anemone?
A cellular construct?
Aquatic?
Do the words on the card designate a particular species?
Part of an animal?
[Raak] Do people eat them? YES
[FGZ] Anemone? NO
[Dujon] Cellular construct? NO
[CdM] A species? YES *applause*
[Spangle] Part of an animal? NO
Crustacean?
Mammalian?
*points at GL's question*
Aquatic?
Domesticated?
Reindeer?
Christmassy?
[GL] Aquatic? YES *Applause!!* and apologies for a disgraceful oversight
[Spangle] Crustacean? NO
[Raak] Thanks for pointing :-)
[GL] Aquatic? HELL YES *More applause (& laughter at Phil for his stupidity)* ;-)
[INJ] Domesticated? NO
[GL] Reindeer? NO
[Raak] Christmassy? Ghastly word, but NO
Are they likely to be served at a sushi restaurant?
[CdM] Sushi-susceptible? NO
Regularly found in a UK fish market?
*points at own question*
:)
Found on the menu at Phil's pub?
Blue Whale?
Oh gosh, I'm at it again.
[jim] Very sorry. Mammalian? YES *applause*
[INJ] UK fish marketable? NO
[Raak] Cooked my me? NO *chuckles*
[GL] Blue Whale? NO
Porpoise?
Saltwater mammal?
Tuna friendly dolphin?
Otter?
[CdM] Porpoise? NO
[Spangle] Saltwater? YES
[GL] Amicable dolphin? NO
[Raak] Otter? NO
Seal?
[Software] Seal? NO
Does it look like a fish?
You know, in the way that dolphins, whales, and sharks do and otters and seals don't.
Walrus?
Is the name of this beastie related to an African plain dwelling carnivore?
[Raak] vaguely fishy in appearance? YES-ish
[irach] I am the Walrus? NO
*some interesting whispers between audience members*
[Dujon] nominally similar to African wotsit? NO (presuming there isn't some obscure African creature I don't know about)
Sea Lion?
Manatee?
Reminds me of a song..
Du-gong, Du-gong, it's the cow of the see-hee-heeee
Du-gong, Du-gong, also known as the manatee!
[Spangle] Sea lion? NO (I suspect that was what Dujon was driving at)
[FGZ] Manatee? NO
On reflection, perhaps Gusset Login's "Blue Whale?" question deserved a ripple of applause.
Penguin?
Narwhal?
Sperm whale?
Is the colouring of this mammal generally accepted as being black and white?
[Phil] Your earlier suspicion was correct. :)
from the Cetacea group/order?
[Phil, Dujon] Clearly obfuscation is the way forward in this game. I'll learn :^)
[Raak] Penguin? NO
[CdM] Sperm Whale? NO
[Dujon] Geordie mammal? NO
[Spangle] Cetacea? YES

And finally, [irach] Narwhal? YES
One spiral, 6-foot long baton passed to irach
This one is just ANIMAL as well.
Human?
[Software] Yes, human.
Alive?
[Raak] Dead as a doornail.
Did death occur in the last century 1910-2010?
[Spangle] Yes, the person died between 1910-2010.
Winston Churchill?
I'm just gonna jump right in with a punt.
British?
[FGZStar] That was almost a candidate for the start of a very dirty limerick.
[FGZStar] Not Churchill.
[jim] Not British
Male?
[Raak] Yes, male.
Between 1960 and 2010 (death occurrence)?
[Spangle] No, his death did not occur between 1960-2010.
Russian?
[Spangle] (your earlier comment in the previous game) Of course!
Connected with the arts?
American?
[Dujon] Nyet. Not Russian.
[jim] Not artsy-fartsy
[Software] Not a Yank.
Hitler?
[Gusset Login] Nein. Nicht Herr Hitler.
Military?
from the southern hemisphere?
[Software] Not military.
[FGZstar] Not from the Southern hemisphere, but with strong connections to it.
Roald Amundsen?
[jim] Roald Amundsen it is!
A flagpole baton plucked from the South Pole handed over to jim.
Well. A lucky guess indeed, though I admit I had quite a broad hint. Pulls on padded gloves before taking baton
OK, I am thinking of a mineral, probably with elements of animal and vegetable depending on definition.
Seasonal?
A fossil?
[Software] Start off with a good one, why don't you. I should say YES, seasonal in at least one sense of the word, but if you mean specifically connected with the festive season, NO.
[irach] Not a fossil.
Naturally occuring?
Snowman?
[Dujon] Au naturel: I think the best answer I can give to that is "mostly".
[GL] Frosty: NO.
Connected to a coastline?
Present solely during winter?
[irach] Littoral: NO (at least, not as I understand "connected").
[FGZstar] Wintry: NO.
A geographical feature?
A certain type of weather pattern?
As in the wrong type of snow, although obviously not snow as that would be wintry.
Related to Summer?
[Spangle] Not a geographical feature.
[FGZstar] Not a certain type of weather pattern.
[GL] Not (specifically) related to summer.
Coastline related?
Possibly a portable book stand for use whilst reading on a beach?
Specific to a particular country or culture?
[FGZstar] Not coastline related.
[CdM] Not culture specific.
Man made?
[Software] Mostly NOT man-made. Though many would say the bit that is is extremely significant.
Unique?
[CdM] YES, unique.
bigger than a toaster?
Smaller than a phonebox?
[Phil] YES, bigger than a toaster.
[GL] Not smaller than a phonebox.
Is there a sporting connection?
[CdM] No specific sporting connection.
Movable?
[Software] I would have to say yes, it is moveable, though moving it in the sense I take you to mean would be impractical.
Is it something that relates to water?
seismic?
Anything to do with the weather?
[nfras] I would have to say that yes, it relates to water.
[Software] Not seismic.
[Projoy] Yes, it has to do with the weather.
Global freezing?
Is it a large swirly wind storm of some type?
The Day After Tomorrow?
Bigger than a terraced house?
[Dujon] Not global freezing.
[nfras] Not a storm.
[FGZstar] Not the day after tomorrow, or "The Day After Tomorrow".
[Projoy] Yes, bigger than a terraced house.
Would you find it (roughly) at ground level?
[Projoy] Yes, you would find it at ground level, although it certainly isn't exclusively found there.
Does it move?
Is the mineral rock?
[Projoy] Yes, it moves.
[Rosie] No, not rock.
Carbon dioxide?
Would you find it out at sea?
[Rosie] Not carbon dioxide, although CO2 is involved.
[Projoy] Yes, you would find it out at sea, although again not exclusively so.
icy?
The atmosphere?
[Software] It contains ice, yes.
[Projoy]YES! It is the Earth's atmosphere. One attractive combination baton-barometer passes on to Projoy.
Jolly dee. Wasn't expecting that to be it. (racks brains) um... OK, here's an ABSTRACT.
Is it an emotion?
A human proclivity?
"Air on a G String" by JS Bach?
The feeling you get when you get that feeling?
[GL] Emotion? NO
[Dujon] Human proclivity? ARGUABLY
[irach] Happiness is...? NO
[Raak] The feeling? NO
Is it common?
[Software] Common? *audience laughter* YES.
Does it depend on human volition?
Medical?
A human action?
[CdM] Human volition? YES
[Spangle] Medical? NO
[Raak] Something folks do? YES
Do non-humans also do this?
Could it be discussed on Sesame Street?
Without unprecedented numbers of complaints, obviously.
Might one reasonably do this in the middle of Trafalgar Square?
Cleaning?
[CdM] Non-human activity? NO
[GL] Sesame Street? UNLIKELY (altho complaints would be highly unlikely if it were)
[Raak] Do-able under Nelson's gaze? YES, but in practice unlikely.
[FGZstar] Cleaning? NO
Does it involve talking?
[Raak] Discursible? NOT OF NECESSITY.
(But in practice, highly likely)
Does it involve more than one person?
Is it culture-specific?
Googling?
[FGZstar] More than one person? YES, almost inevitably
[CdM] Culture-specific? NO
[Spangle] Googling? NO
Science-related?
Does this involve the lack of one of the accepted five senses?
[CdM] Sciencey? NO
[Dujon] Sensory deprivation? NO
Is it possible to do this alone?
A sing-along?
[FGZstar] I doubt this is a helpful answer, but YES, strictly this is possible.
[Software] Singalonga? NO
a game?
[Spangle] A game? NO
Arty?
Is this one of the seven deadly sins?
Is this all of the seven deadly sins?
Is this original sin?
Is this seven original sins?
[CdM] Arty? *hollow laughter from audience* NO
[CdM et al] Sin City? NO, none of the above.
So, so far we have that it's a common human activity that is not particularly taboo. More than one person typically does it. For free I will volunteer that there are two words on the card.
Is this - ahem - enjoyable?
Group hug?
[Spangle] Pleasurable? I would say NO for those directly involved.
[Software] Group hug? *much audience laughter* NO.
Slagging off?
Does it involve physical contact?
[Software] Slagging off? NO
[Spangle] Physical Contact? NO
Public Execution?
Does it entail embarrassment or humiliation?
Does it involve barking up the wrong tree?
[FGZstar] Tyburn Jig etc.? NO
[CdM] Humiliation? NOT OF NECESSITY, tho it might.
[Spangle] Barking up the wrong tree? NO
Does this activity typically have a (non-participating) audience?
[CdM] Has an audience? NO, if you mean it's done in one go with the audience in the same room, or if it's broadcast in one go to people who give this their attention for a specific fixed amount of time. In a much broader sense it can have a non-participating audience, tho this is not necessarily entailed in the concept.
Is the descritpion on the card one of a ploy which many television productions use?
Do all, or almost all, humans do this?
Getting divorced?
[Dujon] ploy by TV producers? ARGUABLY, altho I doubt the word "ploy" would be the right one in that case, and it's certainly not something exclusive to TV producers.
[CdM] All/Vast majority of humans do it? I honestly don't know and am not sure how one would find this out. That's a surprisingly hard question. I suspect there are defensible YES and NO answers, and I would expect you to have a better idea than me.
[all] Sorry these answers are so messy. It's just that we don't quite seem to have hit on the perfect line of questioning so far!
[Spangle, simulposted] Nisi to not see you? NO
Does this interplay constitute some form of contract?
[Spangle] NO, not a contract.
Would this constitute news if a famous person was involved?
[FGZstar] News/famous? It MIGHT BE news if a famous person were involved, depending on the circs. Equally, it might be news if no famous person were involved.
Is it related to communication?
Keep on trying these "is it related to..." questions and you'll probably hit on it.
[INJ] Comms? NO, except in the very broad ways suggested above.
Does it involve conflict?
Hey, I'm just trying to catch up here.
[INJ] Involves conflict? IT CERTAINLY CAN DO, and often does, but not of necessity.
Student Protest?
Or any form of protest?
[FGZstar] Student Protest? NO *a sudden enthusiastic burst of applause from the audience*
Cutting spending?
Related to industrial disputes?
From 0-60 in 4 hours
[INJ] CAN BE related to industrial disputes.
[Spangle] Congratulations on that logical leap, since YES, the words on the card are "budget cutting"! For a while there I thought that I'd made a silly choice, but then in you stormed. I'm afraid that the resource situation means there isn't a baton to pass over, so have this bread roll instead.
(I'm still not sure what would have been an appropriate answer to CdM's "does almost everyone do this?" question. In terms of personal budgeting, I guess that most of us do do it, but it's hard to say whether the degree of formality/prior planning involved means that sort of thing counts more as belt-tightening rather than budget cutting. Still puzzled!)
This is unexpected. I am unable to visit here on a regular basis. Would somebody else like to step in? Please.
I nominate FGZstar or INJ, who did most of the heavy lifting there.
Oh, all right then
Well, since I was away for almost all of that, I think Projoy is overly kind, but in the interests of keeping the game going:
This is ABSTRACT or ANIMAL with VEGETABLE connections. It doesn't matter much how you parse that, it still works.
Anything to do with the human race?
Bugger it! Why must I always arrive late!
Is the tractor animal a mule?
[FGZstar] Oh, the humanity? - YES
[CdM] Ass
[CdM] Oh, I suppose you want a formal answer - Mule-related? - NO
Fictional?
[Projoy] Made-up? - NO
Pork barrel politics?
[irach] Normal politics? - NO (but I could make it 'Yes' for a small fee)
Is the vegetable connection wood?
[Projoy] Woody? - NO
Is the vegetable connection edible?
[CdM] edible vegetable? - YES
The carrot and stick approach?
Is the vegetable connection a vegetable?
[FGZstar] Carrot & Stick? Nice guess, but, NO
[Projoy] Really vegetably vegetable? - YES
Does it begin with pea?
[CdM] pea? - NO, but one of the words on the card begins with a 'p'
One specific type of vegetable?
Mr Potato Head?
[Projoy] Specific veg? - YES
[FGZstar] Mr Potato Head? - NO *some audience applause*
A root vegetable?
A cauliflower ear?
Mrs Potato Head?
[Projoy] Hmm - not sure what you're asking, so I'll answer both possibilities
Is the subject on the card 'A Root Vegetable'? - NO
Is the vegetable connection specifically to a root vegetable? - YES
[Raak] Cauli lug? - NO
[FGZstar] Distaff potato? - NO (there wasn't that much applause)
Knowing your onions?
A thingy-shaped turnip?
Or a turnip-shaped thingy?
Do the words Swedish and Potato appear on the card?
[Raak] Alliology? - NO
[Projoy] Mr Turnip......? - NO
[Dujon] Potatis? - NO and YES (*about the same amount of applause as FGZstar got*)
A chip on the shoulder?
Go back and check previous answers
[Software] messy eater? - NO
Something to do with potatoes?
[Projoy] Potatoist? - YES
(I thought it was clear enough, but my reply to Dujon meant that the word 'potato' does appear on the card - so that's the word that begins with 'p')
Is it related to a particular country?
A couch potato?
(I was just double-checking)
Well, that was relatively painless
We have a winner! The answer is A Couch Potato

[Projoy] I'm not going to get up and hand you the baton, you can come over here and get it.

VEGETABLE or MINERAL or ABSTRACT
A "thing-a-ma-bob", or a related "doo-hickey" or a " thing-a-ma-jig"?
Whatever you may call it...
[irach] None of those.
An award of some kind?
[INJ] Award? NO *applause* (there are cases, tho, where it might be thought of as an award).
Beginning with "pea"?
Booby Prize?
[Software] P or pea-headed? NO
[FGZstar] Blue-Footed Bird Recognition? NO
When it's vegetable, is it a specific vegetable?
When it's vegetable, is it a flower?
[Raak] Specific veg? NOT REALLY
[INJ] Florid? NO.
Does it have to do with things underground?
[Raak] ...but to bury him? NO, nor things Underground, for that matter.
A (or the) wooden spoon?
*Please ignore that attempt* You've answered it already.
Is the mineral precious?
[FGZstar] Precious? NO
Is it related to entertainment or the arts?
[INJ] Entertainment/Arts? NO
Oh, well, actually, there is an arts/ents link, but not intrinsic.
A saying?
Is the category mutually exclusive?
So when vegetable, is it then neither animal nor mineral, and when animal, is it neither vegetable nor mineral, and when mineral, is it neither animal nor vegetable?
Is the mineral metal?
On FGZstar's query - ignoring the 'animal' (since that's not in the definition) may I rephrase as 'When it is regarded as physical, is it exclusively either vegetable or mineral?'
[FGZstar] Does that capture the essence?
[FGZstar via INJ] I have just applied that question to about five cases of The Answer that I can think of, and the answer for all of them was YES, so, I guess, TYPICALLY YES, based on a random sample.
Is the word "heart" on the card?
points North
A vegetarian menu?
[Raak] Heart of...? NO
[INJ] Nanook etc.? NO
[Spangle] Vege Diet? NO (I think someone set that once before).
Is the mineral metal?
Since subtlety isn't working...
Did you answer my last question?
[Software] Not a saying.
[INJ] Metal? NO (and nothing to do with magnetism. I thought you meant as in "[location x, and] points north")
Bugger
Sorry, Metal? YES, often!
Is the vegetable wood?
An award?
[Raak] Wood? YES, usually.
[Raak] Award? I refer the hon. gent. to my second answer in this round, or, to put it another way, NO.
Functional?
[CdM] Functional? YES
A spoon?
As in Wooden Spoon, Metal Spoon and in Spooning?
A domestic implement?
[FGZstar] THERE IS NO SPOON.
[INJ] Domestic? NO, in most cases.
When physical, is its primary function to be a symbol?
[Raak] Symbolic? I would have to say YES and NO, but YES for the case I immediately thought of, and probably more YES than NO overall. Probably. I think.
Anything to do with music?
[Raak] Music? In one case, YES, in others NO.
Is the wood in the form of paper?
[CdM] Papery? NO.
Would citizens of the morniverse be likely to own one?
[CdM] Not more likely to own one than the population at large. Perhaps most helpful to say that most cases of this can be owned by an individual.
string?
[FGZstar] String? NO
Could it be used in the preparation or consumption of food?
[FGZstar] Foody? NO (there is an edible case of this, but it it's not the one a person would first think of)
Is this a syndrome or medical condition?
[Spangle] Medical? NO.
The toaster dimensional question
[INJ] Typically smaller than a toaster by volume, and usually by dimension.
Is it used in the kitchen?
[Raak] Kitchen? NO (the only exception being the edible case, I guess).
Clue or summary required?
Is it tangible?
[FGZstar] Most cases of this are tangible, fewer are abstract.

Here's a roundup and a bit of extra info: This is something that can be vegetable (usually wood) or mineral (usually metal) or abstract. Two cases of this that I can think of have a music connection. Two different cases that I can think of are edible. There is one case, a different one again, where this might be thought of as an award. In that case, and another one again, it acts as a symbol. Nearly all non-abstract cases of this that I can think of are smaller than a toaster.

As you can see, different cases of this have different properties. Feel free to pick on a specific case to help you unfold the whole answer.
Does it have any moving parts?
This feels like we are having a category problem and once someone asks the right question it will go quite quickly - but I'm stuck.
As I say, maybe focus on one case rather than all.
[INJ] Moving Parts? NO - I can't think of a case of this that has moving parts! Hooray for straight answers. :)
Are there less than three words on the card?
[FGZstar] Fewer than 3 words? YES.
(PS. the edible cases are vegetable but not wooden!)
A one word answer?
Do you have a (physical) one of these?
[FGZstar] One word? YES, plus the indefinite article
[INJ] Do I have one? *checks* Hm. Apparently not any more. Wonder where it went?
Does one wear this?
Is it some form of protection?
[Spangle] Worn? NO
[INJ] Protection? NEARLY NO. One case of this is arguably for protection.
A charm?
[Charm] NO.
Is there writing on it?
Does an individual viewpoint contribute to the definition?
In other words could 2 different people look at the same object and disagree as to whether it was one of these?
I'm trying to think how I can follow your exhortation to focus on one case, I can't actually identify one case well enough to ask about it!
Is this a form of label or tag?
A container of some sort?
[Raak] Is there writing on it? NO.
[INJ] Could two people disagree? PROBABLY NOT, which is not to say that there aren't alternative words for this.
Well, you could ask me about the metal one, for instance, or the abstract one, or one of the wooden ones.
[Spangle] A label or tag? NO * a sprinkle of applause from a few audients*
[INJ] Container? NO
Does it serve a symbolic function?
[Raak] A Load of Symbolics? As above, two cases of this that I can think of have a symbolic function.
A grade?
Such as a grade of wood, gradings of fruit and vegetables, geades in class and grades of metal?
You Tak The Low Road
[FGZstar] A grade? NO.
A chip?
Please tell me if I'm completely up the wrong tree.
[FGZstar] An inspired guess, but NO (but you're by no means up the wrong tree).
Could it be used to hold information?
[FGZstar] Holds information? NO. * a pedantic throat clearing from one audience member, who is thinking of one specific case *
Following from FGZ*, is this a set of completely disparate things that happen to be referred to be the same word?
Are these for sale on Amazon?
[CdM] Disparate Things? YES *applause*, altho they do share a couple more properties than just the name.
[Raak] *checks* YES, you can buy at at least two types of this on Amazon.
Would one use this in the workplace?
Are they sometimes made of plastic?
[Spangle] YES and NO, depending. You could probably argue it either way for quite a few cases. Unlikely to help!
[Raak] Sometimes plastic? YEEES. I did google an example up of a plastic one, but certainly wouldn't have known that if I hadn't.
Can you find these in hardware stores?
[Raak] Hardware? I don't recall seeing one in a hardware store. Then again, I can't say I frequent hardware stores.
The wooden one - solid wood or a by-product of wood?
[Spangle] I'll pick one of the wooden ones, for which the answer is YES, solid wood.
Do people who have one usually make it themselves?
[Raak] Self-made? NO.
A wedge?
[FGzstar] A wedge? NO, but you are absolutely at the right level of generality.
A plinth?
This message will self-destruct in 36 hours
[Raak] Some day my...? NO, but again, the right level of generality

I'm going to be without net access for a week as of late Thurs evening, so perhaps I can do a summary + hints in case it jogs your thoughts. We are looking for the one-word name for a set of mainly functional objects, (at the same level of generality as "chip" or "wedge"). They can be metal or wood. There are a couple other "vegetable" types which are not wood. All of these are typically smaller than a toaster by volume. There is an abstract type too. You could put The Answer into an Amazon search and be offered a couple of types of this. One of the wooden types of this is all wood and has a musical connection. The metal type has a symbolic function.
Does the word begin with a vowel?
... apart from the indefinite article, naturally
[Spangle] Vowelish? NO.
A figurehead?
[Raak] Figurehead? NO. Think smaller.
(I have found fibreglass and plastic examples of this on further research)
A bookend?
WRT the wooden/musical one - do you hit it?
A Wh
A Whistle?
You're totally gonna kick yourselves and everything.
[Raak] And the murderer was...? NO
[INJ] Do you hit it? NO
[FGZstar] Just purse your lips? NO
A pipe?
[FGZstar] A pipe? NO *applause*
Is this a model or miniature of something?
Is it basically cylindrical in shape?
A drum?
Do most people have one of these?
[Spangle] Model/miniature? NO
[INJ] Basically cylindrical? YES *applause*, most cases are cylindrical, if you're not too Platonic about it.
[FGZstar] A drum? NO
[Raak] Do most people have one? NO.
A recorder? or a flute?
[FGZstar] Recorder? Flute? NO (not a musical instrument per se, in fact).

I realise this is probably a slightly annoying one (altho you will kick yourselves) but can I just say how gratified I am by the ingenuity of the guesses? Thank you.
A stick?
[FGZstar] Stick? OF SORTS! *tumultuous applause, and stirrings of anticipation for the endgame*
A crutch?
A drumstick?
[INJ] Item best used in pairs? NO
[FGZstar] Drumstick? NO (there's no animal type of this)

Well, about five more hours before I might have to hand this over.
Does the letter string 'stick' appear on the card?
Well, the only wooden, sticky, musical things that aren't instruments that I can think of are a baton (disqualified because they come in animal types and aren't obviously abstract) and the pole that some C18 & 19 conductors would use to beat time.
Oh and I'm quite glad my previous guess was wrong, now I start to think of the 'edible' case.
[INJ] In that case, as we might disagree on the definition and you might have guessed it otherwise, I think it only fair to hand over the BATON to you, hoping to be enlightened about the animal case! The cases of which I was thinking are the wooden (or sometimes, apparently, fibreglass) conductor's baton, the military baton, the metal relay baton, the well-known small loaf, carrot batons and police batons, plus of course the abstract Baton Sinister from heraldry. Challenging subject, but I enjoyed attempting something a bit more hard to get hold of, as it were. Apols to anyone else who had foregone that guess on non-animal grounds, too.
They make them in bone and ivory
Anyway, moving on - Let's have a nice simple ANIMAL
An amoeba?
They don't come much simpler than that.
A duck-billed platypus?
[Raak] amoebic? - NO (not quite that simple)
[irach] monotremic? - NO (but I had been thinking about that, so you were close to the quickest ever win)
Reptilian?
[ImNotJohn] Great minds think alike; what more can I say?
Extinct?
Human?
[Raak] Gone forever - NO *some audience reaction*
[GL] Human? - NO
Coelacanth?
[jim] Latimeria chalumnae? - NO
Actually, I think I set that a few years ago.
Mammal?
[Software] Mammalian? - NO
*coughs and gestures towards irach's last question*
Endangered?
Ah yes, sorry
[irach] Reptilian? - YES
[Raak] Endangered? - YES *applause*
the audience were rather helpful earlier on, but they're a fair-minded lot
Software is hereby awarded one free guess.
A sea turtle?
Said this was going to be simple
[FGZstar] Chelonioidiac? - NO *further applause*
A tuatara?
[Raak] Tuatara? - Happy to admit I had to look that one up, from which I assume you can guess that the answer is NO
A Komodo Dragon?
[irach] Varanidaeic? - NO
Did Darwin likely see them during his voyages?
Would one fit in a toaster (perhaps coiled up)?
[irach] Darwinian? - YES! - (to all intents and purposes)*applause*
[Raak] Pop-uppable? - NO *some audience laughter*
Galápagos giant tortoise (Chelonoidis nigra), which ironically is genus Chelonoidis, but not in Family Chelonidae?
Nearly there
[irach] Galapagos Giant Tortoise? - YES - but curiously enough, none of those words are on the card (*the audience are shuffling towards the exit*)
"Harriet of Australia Zoo" fame?
[irach] Hattie? - Sorry, never heard of her, so NO
Lonesome George?
There, that wasn't so hard
We have a winner! The words on the card are: 'Lonesome George': probably the last Pinta Island giant tortoise.
I'll send him over with the baton.
This is gonna be a tricky one
Abstract, with Animal connections.
Sorry, forgot to include Mineral connections also
A saying or phrase?
[irach] adage? NO
Connected with a work of fiction?
Fictitious? NO
A human concept?
A human concept? Erm, not sure how to answer this one. The animal connection is human, and so I would say YES.
Connected to science?
Is the mineral connection metal?
[CdM] Science-y? There is definitely a major connection, but you need to look further than just the thought of science.
[INJ] Metallic? YES, but not exclusively

LOOK AT THIS! Erm.. okay, minor f*** up, realised that vegetable also comes into this. To make up for this, I shall give you a clue. This whole thing is related to heat and oxygen produced by one reaction.
Internal Combuxtion?
That is combustion...
Photosynthesis?
Combustion? YES, but this is not the only rection involved, and there is another, seperate reaction
Photosynthesis? NO
You need to back up a bit, as my clue was maybe a bit too close up for now. It will help you when you are closer to the answer.
Is the (human) animal a specific human?
Not a specific human, but a specific group.
Pertaining to only one of the sexes?
Are dams involved?
[irach] Single-sex? No.
[Dujon] Dammit!? No.
Is the combustion reference figurative?
Does this relate to a visible phenomenon?
A specific nation?
[Rosie] Figurative Combustion? NO, literal
[INJ] Visible phenomenon? If you are thinking northern lights, then no.
[SW] Specific Nation? No, even smaller than that.
Artistic?
(also, could you actually answer INJ's question? :-) )
[CdM] Artistic? No
Well, I wouldn't define it as a visible phenomenon.
Anything to do with ozone?
[irach] Ozone? NO
Anything involving Guy Fawkes?
Burn it all down? NO
Is the mineral connection a fossil fuel or derivative thereof?
Is this an industrial process?
[irach] Fossil Fuels? Yes, but this is not the only mineral connection.
[Raak] Industrial? NO
Smelting?
Is another mineral connection one of the states of water?
Human connection artisanal?
[Rosie] Smelty, smelty? NO, but metals are involved.
[irach] Water? YES, and in its liquid state
[Software] Artisanal? I'm not quite sure how you mean, but I can say that one artist that I know of is connected, but others are also connected. Please note that people are both directly and indirectly connected to this, but it will be easier if I refer to the people directly connected, because those are the ones I am able to confidently answer about.
Firing a steam engine?
Forgive me.
[Rosie] Light the Rocket? No. But you are close on one aspect...
Are the metals in direct contact with the water or an aqueous solution?
[irach] Not initially, although most of them end up in direct contact with water or an aqueous solution.
Is the water or aqueous solution saline?
Rocket science?
[irach] under the sea? NO
[SW] It's NOT rocket science.
Is one of the metals lead?
[irach] Lead balloon? NO
Does the metal ionise during the reaction that produces oxgen and heat?
The electrolysis of water?
You did say oxygen was produced.
[irach] I am not sure of the answer to that question, but I cna tell you that no radiation is involved.
[Rosie] Electrolysis? I like your thinking, but no.
Is this a means of propulsion?
[Raak] The combustion reaction is a means of propulsion, but the Oxygen-producing reaction has a self-explanatory purpose.
Propulsion of manned spacecraft?
Is the metal component a part of an actual chemical reaction that produces oxygen and heat, or merely a receptacle?
Anything to do with fireworks?
I'm thinking KNO3.
[Raak] To infinity... NO
[irach] The metal is certainly a reaction vessel, but I am not sure if it is present in the reaction, but I think it is.
[Rosie] Sparks will fly? NO
To do with projectile weapons?
[Raak] Fire? NO
Is / are the metal(s) in question found in Group III of Dmitri Mendeleev's Periodic Table?
[irach] Group III? I would presume some would be.
Are the objects propelled routine means of transport, eg. bus, train, car, plane?
[Rosie] Tranport? YES *Audience awakens from its slumber*
Propulsion of the mode of transport through a fluid (liquid or gaseous) matrix?
Fuel cells?
[irach] You've lost me completely. If that includes air, then yes.
[Raak] Eco-cell? NO
Hot air balloon?
A balloon of some other type?
A blimp or dirigible airship?
[SW,Raak,irach] Ballons, airships, etc... NO
"Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines"?
[irach] An aeroplane is involved, yes.
Parachute jump?
[SW] Jumper? NO
Hmm. This clearly hasn't captured our collective imagination, hence no questions for 12 days.
(FGZstar) How's about a summary of the conclusions to date and then the final flourish - offering up a tasty clue?
A ram-jet?
Let's see if I can re-capture your imaginations...

Abstract, with animal, vegetable and mineral connections,

This is NOT *deep breath*: A saying or phrase, fictitious, photosynthesis, connected to a specific sex or nation, involving dams, a visible phenomenon, artistic, related to ozone, anything to do with guy fawkes, an industrial process, smelting, firing a steam engine, involving salt water, rocket science, involving lead, electrolysis, the propulsion of manned spacecraft, fireworks, projectile weaponry, fuel cells, any type of balloon or a parachute jump.

However, it IS: A human concept, sort-of connected to science, involving metal, related to oxygen and heat produced by one reaction, including (but not exclusively) internal combustion, pertaining to a specific group of humans (at least one of which has artistic connections), resulting in the aforementioned metals being in contact with water, involving an oxygen-producing reaction which does not provide propulsion (and this reaction has a metal reaction vessel and does involve metals, which may be in group III of the periodic table) and importantly, this pertains to a propelled means of transport, more specifically an aeroplane.

Right, got all that? Good., because now you can have a clue:
Firstly, the cause of the second reaction (which is the main one in this case) is present in every airline safety demonstration. Secondly, there is only one specific airline and aircraft involved.
Blimey - OK, someone performing an electrolysis experiment onboard a BA Boeing 737, causing a fire to break out, the oxygen masks to drop and the 'plane to crash on the sea (don't worry, everyone got out fine)?
Well, strike a light!
*audience sits up, expectantly*
[Knobbly] You are actually quite close. this is a plane crash, however no electrolysis and not into the sea. Sadly no-one got out fine, or at all. I am looking for the name by which the plane crash is referred to. Oh, and no 737. There was fire, and oxygen masks did not drop, but the oxygen generator (for the masks) is the 'other' reaction.
Ah, ValuJet Flight 592
*Audience goes wild*
YES! I hand over this slightly charred baton.
Doh
Didn't think of the fact that I'd have to think of one...
I would like a go, though. It's very quiet here over the weekend, so I'll think of one before the end of tomorrow *subsides into thoughtful silence*
Ok, this is hopefully not a 4 week one...
Animal
Go!
Human?
[Raak] No.
A single individual?
[Raak] Yes.
Recently deceased?
Female?
Knut?
European?
In captivity?
Mammal?
Forget my last question - I hadn't read back carefully enough.
So much for my AVMA debut
[Dujon]Yes.
[GL] No.
[irach] Yes.
[INJ,CdM,INJ]Moot.
*Sporadic audience applause for irach for being too clever*
Actually, when I thought of it it wasn't very easy as he hadn't been news for years. How was I to know he'd go and die and make the papers again?
Thanks, Knobbly, but someone else will need to start the next one in my place. I am going to be away at a conference the next five days, and may not be able to log into mc5 as frequently as would be necessary to keep the game progressing.
I think Knobbly should have another go!
I wonder whether the choice of Knut was a massive coincidence, or whether Knobbly actually saw/heard some reference to Knut's death without being consciously aware of the fact.
To be honest, I also think knobbly should have another go, although I will admit that my original categorising of my one was flawed, but I was having trouble fitting it successfully into one main box.
Well, ok. This may not be very difficult, but it probably won't be in the news tomorrow.
This is an Animal. Let the guessing commence.
Human?
[INJ] No.
4 legs?
[Software]Yes, one in each corner.
A single individual?
[GL] An individual? No. Although there's only one in the picture in my head it could be any of them.
A deer of some kind?
Normally regarded as edible by humans?
Mammal?
Found wild in the UK?
[Dujon] Deer me, no.
[Rosie] Not normally considered edible.
[INJ] Mammal? Yes. *small ripple of applause*
[Raak] In UK? No.
A bear of any sort?
[Raak] No. I cant bear the tension. Oh dear. I apologise profusely and will hence just answer simply.
Bigger than a toaster?
[Raak]Larger than a toaster? Yes.
Kept as a pet? (By normal people)
[Rosie] No.
Extant?
Hoofed?
A Shetland Pony?
Thelwell cartoons come to mind.
[Raak] Extant - NO. Shouldn't be long now. *More sustained applause*
[INJ] Hooves, yes.
[Software] Not a pony.
An extinct species of horse?
A woolly Mammoth?
[Raak] Not a horse. Although distantly related I think there are closer extant relatives.
[FGZ] No, not a woolly mammoth.
Of the genus Bos, like an aurochs or wisent?
[irach] Bos? No.
Pyrenean Ibex ?
A litoptern?
[irach] Ibex? No
[Raak]Litoptern - No
An extinct camel or llama relative?
A brontothere?
[irach] Not a camelid.
[Raak]Nor a member of the Brontotheriidae, neither.
Rhinoceros-like?
[irach] Well, as you asked a subjective question I was going to say no, because I don't think it is; but I asked an impartial observer and they said it was, so - Rhinoceros-like? YES. *applause*
Stegosaurus?
An Irish Elk?
Unicorn?
[Rosie, INJ, Software] Thrice no.
A dinosaur of some kind?
Died out in the last hundred thousand years?
[GL, Rosie] Hoofed mammal!
[INJ] Less than 0.1 Mya? NO
Coelodonta or Stephanorhinus?
split hooves?
According to wikipedia we're down to a choice of about 220 possibles now ;-)
[FGZ] Neither of them.
[INJ] Is it a member of the order Artiodactyla? - No.
Does it have an ordinary English name?
Unlike "liptotern", "brontothere", or "madeupopodeaceae".
[Raak] It does not, to my knowledge, have a common name. Maybe we can give it one once it has been guessed.
Borissiakia?
Just cos I like the name
Just to confirm - you have answered that this is hoofed and does not have split hooves - I have to assume that means it has a single hoof like a horse, not claws or any other multi-part foot like a deer or elephant.
I notice that I automatically write 'hoofed', but 'hooves' - I'll have to follow that up, though I expect both will be acceptable.
[INJ] Not Borissiakia.
[INJ again] Yes, it does; although I'm getting a bit lost in hoof types. For one thing a deer is a hoofed mammal.
Of the family Brontotheriidae?
[FGZ] No, it still isn't.
Of the family Artiodactyls?
Does it have the letter string 'hipp' in its name?
(re deer: Yes, but a deer, like a cow, has split hooves.)
If you could still eat one, would it be kosher?
I don't think the answer will be particularly edifying, I just want to see you try to work it out :)
[GL] Artiodactyla? NO. Keep going, we're almost out of incorrect orders...
[INJ] No, the syllable 'hipp' appears nowhere in the binomial name, nor in the rest of its taxonomic classification.
[Jim] No, because it doesn't have cloven hooves (see above). That wasn't too complicated.
Of the order Perissodactyla?
[INJ] YES. Indeed an odd-toed ungulate.
One of the "rhino-like" amynodonts such as Gigantamynodon, Metamynodon , or Cadurcodon ?
[irach] Not Amynodontidae.
And when I searched for it the Popular Search Engine tried to change it to 'Amy - no, don't!' (Punctuation mine, three words its.)
*wishes you lot would speak English*
Are you all googling like crazy in order to ask questions with words that no-one uses in daily parlance? Or are you actually *experts* in this field? Whatever - clearly this game is not for me.
(Spangle) I agree. For some time this game has irritated the poo out of me and although I may contribute early on I usually drop out if it becomes clear the answer is some arcane piece of knowledge that very few people have. If it's not at the fingertips of a well-educated person (and all of us are that) then it's inappropriate. In the '50's this game was played live and the answers were always things that anyone would know of. This gives much scope for ingenuity without getting anorakky.
In the past I have threatened to retaliate (in the unlikely event that I would ever win) with a Steam Engine. Just a Steam Engine? Dear me, no - a big one. A Big Steam Engine? Come on - be serious, this one is Quite Big but not Very Big. So it's a 4-6-0, then? Yes. Not just any old 4-6-0; there were loads of them, but a Great Western 4-6-0. A Great Western 4-6-0, then? Oh, get a grip; there were several different classes. This one is a "Hall Class". OK, a Great Western "Hall Class" 4-6-0, then? Yes. Now guess which one. It's no. 7921,
Hidden text which is my current desktop, having taken a picture of it myself in 1959
, and one of 330.
Isn't that clever? This game is for 8 - 12 year olds and a complete f****** timewaster.
A quagga?
[Spangle, Rosie if they look in here again] I chose what I thought was a moderately well known extinct mammal after my living mammal was guessed in less than a day. It does say in the instructions that a search engine is useful, but I notice that further up the page, the items are a lot more general knowledge. Maybe a return to things most people have heard of wouldn't be a bad idea.
[Raak] Not a quagga.
I am sorry, I think I may have started this with my more specific topic. It happened to be an old episode of air crash investigation which I was watching at the time.
[spangle, knobbly, FGZ*] This is not a new debate. Rosie has voiced his views on this numerous times, and I don't think it's worth rehashing. But one thought did occur to me, which is that the existence of google might lead us to approach the guessing completely differently. In other words, even if the answer is not really obscure (as perhaps this one isn't; we don't know yet), we might approach it in obscure ways.
[CdM] Ah well, I'm a new player. Relatively. To this game anyway.
Volunteers to return us to our regularly scheduled game?
The reason I object to some of the extreme arcane subjects is that it denies the players the opportunity for general intelligence, which I take to be the ability to put two and two together and see connections, quite independent of any database. Digging around in Google may suit some but it doesn't exactly lift the spirits.
[Rosie] Yes, we know. You are given to saying so pretty much every few weeks.
A type of tapir?
[irach] No type of tapir.
A Chalicothere?
On the grounds that I know I've come across that one.
[INJ]Chalicothere? No.
Free advice - maybe ask another question instead of guess?
I give up
Frankly, although I've quite enjoyed some of the digging, I can't spare the effort to do more. I also have a problem in that I believe your answers have said that this animal has a single hoof (hoofed , not split). My sources state specifically that the only animals with a single hoof are related to horses, but you have said that is not the case.
Raak asked if it was an extinct species of horse. I said it wasn't an extinct species of horse, but distantly related, i.e. it belongs in the order Perissodactyl, like horses do.
There is a very important piece of identifying information that no-one has really tried to ascertain.
[All who haven't drifted off] Here is a roundup of all helpful facts so far known:
A non-human, extinct, quadrupedal mammal, of the order Perissodactyla (odd-toed ungulates). Died out more than 100,000 years ago, rhinoceros-like and larger than a toaster.
With two horn like protuberances?
[irach] Not with two horns.
Baluchitherium?
You said that you had a particular exemplar in mind. Would it help us to try to find out which one? (e.g., skeleton in a museum, illustration in a book...)
Has this creature evre been featured in a film?
[Projoy] YES Baluchitherium.
A prehistoric relative of the rhinoceros, featured in an episode of Walking With Beasts and the largest mammal ever to have existed. I would also have accepted Paraceratherium or Indricotherium. And I honestly thought it was fairly well known.
Is that the answer?
Is this a question?
[Spangle] Yes that is the answer.
Should I have added *Audience go wild, not untinged with relief* for avoidance of doubt?
[GL] Is this a rhetorical question?
Come to think of it, there's a talking baluchitherium in Brian Aldiss' short story "Old Hundreth".
It will not suprise onlookers to know that that was a triumph for Google rather than my prior general knowledge, but I for one am glad to know it now. Getting it to stick in memory will be the challenge...

The next is MINERAL (there might be odd bits of the other two in there, I'm not sure).
A structure?
Unique?
Primarily metal?
manufactured?
A flying start...
[Rosie] A Structure? STRICTLY, YES
[CdM] Unique? YES
[INJ] Primarily metal? YES
[Software] Manufactured? YES
Used in transportation?
Do people go inside it?
Artistic connections?
Found inside Earth's atmosphere?
Gathering speed...
[irach] Transportation? YES *applause*
[Knobbly] People inside? YES
[INJ] Artistic? NOT REALLY
[GL] Earthly? YES
Airborne?
Vickers VC-10 aircraft?
Currently in use?
The London Eye?
Making progress...
[Raak] Airy? NO
[irach] Holy plane? NO
[Rosie] In use? YES [Dujon] Sauron on the South Bank? NO
Great Western 'Hall Class' 4-6-0 number 7921?
Related to te Railways?
[FGZstar] Don't be silly, that's not still in use, it was scrapped in 1963.
[FGZ*] GWHC4607921? NO
[GL] Rail-ated? YES! *applause*
The Chunnel train?
[irach] Pancras to Paris? NON
Is it a 'named' engine or train?
[Duj] Named engine or train? YES
Is it a preserved steam locomotive?
The Flying Scotsman?
Puffing Billy?
[Rosie] A righted steamer? YES
[Raak] The Airborne Jock? NO
[Spangle] Drug-addled William? NO
Stephenson's Rocket?
Is it likely that I am the only Morniverser who has heard of this machine?
I don't know quite why I'm going along with this monumental piss-take. Must be the nice weather.
Union of South Africa?
Is it British?
[Spangle] Stockton to Darlington Express? NO
[Rosie] Something only you'd know? NO (I've heard of it too).
[FGZstar] Union of South Africa? NO *applause*
[GL] British? YES
Sir Nigel Gresley?
Chifferty-chafferty chifferty-chafferty
Does (or did) this locomotive hold the record (steam engines) for rapidity?
Mallard?
(Pursuing the Gresley link (thank you Wikipedia) and going with an engine that I had also heard of.)
[CdM] Not the Mallard, as that is no longer operational
[Dujon] Speed record? YES, this locomotive holds the postwar steam speed record, which means that Rosie, like The Answer, is entirely on track with...
[Rosie] LNER Class A4 4498 Sir Nigel Gresley? YES! *appreciative whistles*.
Please take this single-tracked-section token.
(I probably should have awarded a couple of claps for Flying Scotsman since the other still-operational Class A4, LNER Class A4 4464 Bittern, used to pull that train).
I hate three-cylinder engines; they don't puff properly.
Right; nothing whatsoever to do with railways in any way, shape or form, nevertheless MINERAL
Metallic?
Made of stone/rock?
Found on Earth?
(irach) Metallic? Almost entirely not.
(INJ) Stone or rock? YES, very largely.
(Gusset Login) Found on Earth? YES.
A rock formation?
(Knobbly) - Not a rock formation.
[Rosie] Manufactured or processed in some way?
(Projoy) Manufactured or processed? - YES. *some mild applause*
Related to Transport?
FGZstar - Train and boats and planes - alas, NO
A man-made wall?
(irach) - NO, not a wall.
Unique?
A building?
Artistic connections?
A Welsh slag heap?
;0)
A structure?
(CdM) - Unique? - By no means
(INJ) - Aberfan? Nothing so sad
(Projoy) - A structure? - YES.
Bigger than a washing machine?
You answered Software instead of me
(INJ) - Whoops, sorry about that - a bit early in the "morning". NO artistic connections.
Bigger than a washing machine? NO, at least in two out of three dimensions.
(Raak) A building? NO (though a structure).
Is it hollow?
A monument?
A utilitarian object?
(Projoy) Hollow? NO (very probably).
(Raak) A monument? NO. *a few laughs and a little quickly stifled applause*
(irach) - A utilitarian object? YES, very much so.
Found outdoors rather than indoors?
A Welsh slag heap?
trying again
(Softers) I replied to INJ (qv) instead of to you. Not a slag heap of any nationality.
(irach) Outdoors? YES. *some applause*
Is there just one of this?
(Pj) Unique? NO, not at all. (see reply to CdM)
Do humans typically need to touch this object with their hands and/or feet in the course of its normal use?
An electricity pylon?
Is it typically a part of something bigger?
(irach) - Need to touch the object? NO, but they probably would anyway.
(FGZstar) - An electricity pylon? NO.
(Projoy) - Part of something bigger? - NO, not in a physical sense.
Do all of its type have a specific geometric shape?
Would a typical morniverser own one?
A lighting fixture?
A dry stone wall?
Good to 'see' you in the chair, Rosie ;-)
You say it's a "structure", but does that mean it is made up of separate stone parts?
(irach) - All the same shape? YES, probably; maybe a few exceptions.
(CdM) - Ownership by typical morniverser? Good heavens, NO - we don't nick things, do we?
(Raak) - Lamp-post etc? NO.
(Chalky) - Dry-stone wall? Alas, NO.
Hidden textThey're very kind to the oldies here.

(Projoy) - Built up from stone blocks? - YES. *applause*
Found on/along a roadway?
Is it taller than a washing machine?
A pyramid?
(irach) - On a road? - Almost entirely NO, but theoretically could be at the side of one.
(Projoy) - Taller than a washing machine? - YES, but only a little.
(Softers) Square geezer? NO, nor pyramidal geometrically.
A triangulation pillar?
YESSS! Projoy wins. The actual "words on the card" were Trig Point, but that's the same thing. *Returns the single-line token*. Carry on.
There used to be a couple just down the road from my house where I grew up. OK, that's enough mineral, here's an ABSTRACT, with strong ANIMAL connections
Is the animal connection human?
[irach] Animal connection human? Only at the less significant end.
Animal instinct?
Husbandry?
Worth a punt from 75 yds.
Wayne Rooney?
Does it relate to an individual animal?
There was a trig point in the central strip of a stretch of dual carriageway in Leeds. (Scott Hall Road - may have been displaced by the guided bus route)
[irach] Instinct? NO
[Dujon] Spudhead? NO
[INJ] Individual animal? As in unique or an individual type? NO, if the former.
[Rosie] Husbandry? NO
Does this result in a specific action on the part of the animal?
Is this a song?
Human concept?
[Rosie] Action on the part of the animal? *some laughter* NOT EXACTLY
[Chalky] A song? NO
[Software] Human concept? YES
Related to a work of fiction?
[INJ] Fiction-work-related? NO, not particularly. Might be mentioned in a few.
A disease largely confined to animals?
Is this a phrase (e.g. "he had the strength of a lion")?
[Rosie] Disease? NO
[Dujon] A phrase? YES! *applause*
A pig's ear?
Is the animal domesticated?
A pig in a poke?
Dead as the dodo?
[Software] Porcine Aural Apparatus? NO
[CdM] Domesticated? NO
[irach] Hog in a holdall? NO
[Rosie] Dodo? NO.
Is it a proverb?
Is the referenced animal larger than a badger?
[FGZstar] Proverb? NO
[INJ] >Badger? NO
Is the animal in the phrase a rodent? As in "I smell a rat"?
[irach] Rodent? NO
Is the animal a mammal?
[irach] A mammal? NO
Is the animal dangerous?
Does the animal drink like a fish?
(Guessing) A snake in the grass?
A bird, such as one in the hand or two in the bush?
Playing possum?
[CdM] Dangerous? *laughter* NO
[Gusset Login] Drinking like a fish? NO *applause*
[Dujon] Grass Snake? NO
[irach] Birdies? NO
[Rosie] Marsupial? NO
Memory like a goldfish?
Or have I already asked that?
"Sleeping with the fishes"?
The one that got away?
Fishing for answers...
[INJ] What was that you said seven seconds ago? NO
[irach] Unfortunate Mafioso? NO
[Knobbly] Escapee? NO
Is a particular kind of fish named on the card?
[CdM] Particular fish? NO
Something's fishy here
[irach] Not sure if that's a question, but NO, that's not the phrase on the card.
"A Fish called Wanda"?
Always a bigger fish?
Many more fish in the sea?
A fish out of water?
Who knew there was so much to say about fish?
[irach] Cleese and Curtis? NO
[FGZstarfish] Bigger fish? NO
[Knobbly] A Fish in Sea? NO
[GL] Landed and Gasping? NO
A big fish in small pond?
Does the word 'fish' appear on the card?
[FGZstar] Parish Council Chair? NO
[Dujon] Does the word "fish" appear on the card? I thought you'd never ask... YES.
Fish face?
Begins with P(iscine)?
Fish for compliments?
Now , what fish is it that doesn't drink like a fish, I wonder.
[Software] Fish face? How dare you? Oh, I mean, NO.
[CdM] Pfish? NO
[INJ] Am I answering these questions OK, cos I do worry? (NO)
*the audience applaud INJ's other remark*
Kettle of fish?
Is there a culinary connection?
[irach] Kettle? NO
[INJ] Food? NO, not really.
Shooting fish in a barrel?
[irach] Barrel? NO, but I imagine we'll be scraping the bottom soon...
A Flying fish?
Does the referenced fish have to be dead?
[FGZstar] Flying fish? NO
[INJ] Dead fish? I think most people on hearing this expression would assume a dead fish, so YES. *applause*
(Strictly, its live/dead status isn't actually referenced, so it doesn't have to be)
A slap around the face with a wet fish?
Even better!
[Software] The Answer is, indeed, A slap in the face with a wet fish. Please accept this wet fish as your reward.
D*mn You, Software, you bounder!
I've just logged on with the intention of guessing that exact phrase.
[INJ] Yes, but it could be worse.
What a surprise, such a slippery baton!

Right, this one is Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.

The anarcho-syndicalist world view?
Making a welcome(?) return.
The Internet?
This game?
Life, the universe, and everything?
The price of food?
[INJ] Back to barter? - NO welcome back BTW
[irach] www? - NO
[Projoy] Infinite loop? - NO
[Raak] Quo vadis? - NO
[Rosie] RPI? - NO
A Human Concept?
[FGZ] Conceptualized? - YES
Cuisine?
Is the Animal reference purely to humans?
Artistic connections?
[irach] Celebrity chefs - NO
[Rosie] Homo Sapiens - YES (almost entirely)
[INJ] Arty-Farty - YES
Related to music?
A straightforward question that requires a Yes or No answer?
[irach] Musical? - No not directly
[Spangle] Michael Miles? - NO
An artistic style, whatever the form of art?
Related to a performance art?
Funny?
[Rosie] Impressionist? - NO
[INJ] Acting? - NO though some say that could be the case
[Pro] Humour? - NO
The mona lisa?
Is this an organisation?
[FGZ] Enigmatic? - NO
[Rosie] Corp? - NO
A title of an artistic work?
[irach] Famous name? - NO
a piece of architecture?
[FGZ] bricks & mortar? - NO
To do with literature?
CGFC?
[Pro] Property boom?- NO
[Spangle] CGFC? - NO probably
[Pro] Sorry wrong answer
literate? - mostly NO
Is the vegetable connection floral?
WTF's CGFC cos im FIIK.
Related to painting?
[irach] petal based? - YES * a good portion of the audience claps *
[Pro] Decoration? (As this question was answered previously I assume you refer to the industrial kind) - NO
[Rosie] me too, in the absence of knowledge the safest answer is always NO
Ikebana or other type of Flower Arrangement?
CGFC
[Rosie] I made it up because I wanted to find a question that wouldn't be changed when SW was giving an answer. The changes are sometimes inaccurate and misleading. They cause a double look-back to ascertain the response to a reasonable question. I really give up. I actually HATE the way that this game is played.
Therefore - I am not going to play it any more. :)
A bridal bouquet?
The Guernsey Battle of Flowers?
(Softers) Yes, I know it's The Donkeys, but it's all I can think of ATM. I like Guernsey, BTW.
(Spangle) Yes, can be a bit annoying, especially if the meaning of the question appears to have been changed. I think one should always assume that it has not, and that the quizmaster is merely indulging himself a little.
The Chelsea flower show?
[Spangle] Sorry, old mate, just doing as Rosie says.
[FGZ] Blushing bridal flowers? - NO audience claps and talks among themselves enthusiastically
[Rosie] Donkey Derby? - NO [Rosie, how could you?]
[Duj] Annual display? - NO
Are the petals confetti?
A buttonhole?
(Could you answer my last question? You seem to have missed answering it)
[Knobby] Confetti - NO not on the card but the audience applauds appreciatively.
[FGZ] Carnation? - NO more loud applause
[irach] Floral display? - NO audience murmurs appreciatively
Horticulture?
[irach] Farmer Giles? - NO
Boutonnière or corsage?
[irach] Formal floral decoration? - NO (see above, not what is on the card) audience claps again
a fleur-de-lis?
Wedding arbour?
A wedding?
[FGZ] FdL? - NO
[irach] Underneath the arches? - NO audience claps hard
[FGZ] Nuptials? - YES! audience wild with anticipation
The royal wedding between Prince William and Catherine Middleton?
Hurrah!
[FGZ] Well done mate, exactly the words on the card!

* passes over the bouquet shaped baton *

Funny that, I had that about 3 turns ago, and dismissed it as too obvious. Anyway, my turn, ABSTRACT, with strong ANIMAL connections, as well as VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.
A sport?
Animal human?
Sport? No, but will have minor sporting connections
Human? Yes, but will have minor connections to other animals.
A recipe ?
Recipe? No
Butchery?
Butchery? A definite no.
A single specific human?
Specific Human? No
Quadruped ?
Quadruped? As I have said before, the main focus is human, but non-specific. There are minor links to other animals which are quadruped, but it probably won't help with the answer to go into detail on them.
Falls within the remit of the 'fashion' industry?
Fashion? Nope.
Is it an activity?
Connected to the arts?
Activity? No.
Artistic Connections? Yes, but only minor ones.
A phrase or saying?
Phrase or Saying? No
Sporty?
As before, not particularly sporty, but with sporting connections
Is it something everyone does?
Is it an award of some sort?
Related to food or the culinary arts?
Something everyone does? No
An award? No
Food related? Yes, but not in the fine dining sense, and not exclusively involved in food.
Something done with or to meat and/or vegetables?
A licence to do something?
Done to meats or Veg? No (the food connection is not that strong)
Licence to...? No.
A type of behaviour?
Type of behaviour? No
Related to science?
Science Related? No.
Does the answer relate to a 'medical' condition?
Related to a severe medical condition? Not completely, but I'm sure there is some small relation
Related to games?
Related to games? No.
A ritual?
A ritual? No
A dictionary?
A dictionary? No.
Is it an activity?
Does this have a small relation to everything?
Activity? No, but it has activities
Small relationship to everything? Not quite, but is related to a lot of things.
Is this a human creation?
Human Creation? Yes
One particular country/nation
One Country/Nation? No.
So to summarise...
  • Not: a sport, a recipe, butchery, a specific human, a quadruped, fashion, an activity, a phrase or saying, something everyone does, an award, something done with meat/veg, a licence, a type of behaviour, science-related, games, a ritual, a dictionary, an activity (but it has them), a country.
  • Connections to: humans, food.
  • Minor connections to: non-human animals, the arts, sports, severe medical conditions, a lot of things.
  • Is: a human creation.
We haven't got very far, have we?
Related to a belief system?
Always the problem with Abstract - You need to get a category or a link to something physical before you can begin to make proper progress. I generally try to avoid setting Abstracts for those reasons.
Related to a belief system? This is NOT linked to a belief system in any way.
Time for a hint, methinks...
This is multinational, and part of a major convention.
To do with climate change?
Carbon trading?
Global warming? No
Carbon Trading? No
To do with military matters?
An international banking connection?
Military? Not connected to the military, but may become involved in military matters.
International Banking? No
To do with medicine?
Medicine? Has something to do with medicine, but not solely with medicine.
Is the answer based on a televison/film series?
TV/Film? No
Anything to do with the law?
To do with the Law? Sort of. it is specifically protected by it.
A human right or rights?
Human right? No, but it does help to protect them.
Does this have a specific United Nations connection?
Specific UN connection? Not really, but I'm sure there will be some connections... It's sort of a grey area. Sorry I can't be more helpful on that one.
OK then ... does this have a specific connection to some other international organisation (e.g., World Bank, World Trade Organisation, World Health Organisation, International Monetary Fund, etc....)?
Connected to a big international organisation? YES
*Audience Awakens*
Does it have to do with the law?
Oops, was just asked.
Does it have to do with humanitarian action?
Humanitarian? Yes.
*Audience look expectant*
The Red Cross?
Red Cross? Yes
*Audience Screams and goes wild*
It was indeed the Red Cross. I therefore hand you over a red, cross-shaped baton.
Phew. Ok, here's a concrete ANIMAL and VEGETABLE. Oh, and ABSTRACT as well.
A statue of a gorilla eating a banana?
Human animal?
[Projoy] Like this?
[FGZ*] Odd that it took us so long to get something eminently guessable. As INJ said, abstracts can just be very hard to get a handle on. As a minor quibble, if it was "NOT linked to a belief system in any way", we probably wouldn't also have the Red Crescent.
Can it be found in Milton Keynes?
Can anything be found in Milton Keynes? Sorry to be so flippant.
[Projoy] Oooh, close, but...no, nothing like.
[Rosie] Surely, if one waits in Milton Keynes, all the world shall eventually pass by one's front door. Yes! This can be found in Milton Keynes!
[CdM] Not a human animal.
Should the word "concrete" be taken literally?
(Raak) Is MK the new Crewe Station?
No, concrete would be MINERAL.
Musical?
[CdM] I suppose, but as a symbol it is not related to any religion, although there was some speculation by other religions which caused the red crescent and red crystal to come into existence.
[FGZ*] Not musical.
Begins with a P?
[Rosie] ...what do they say about Crewe Station?
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
Connected with agriculture?
[Tuj] Dunno. Perhaps they pronounce its name as if it began with a P.
[jim] Agro? Not really.
Connected to Architecture?
Is it man-made?
(Tuj) It is said that if you stand on Crewe Station you will see, either on the platform or through the window of a train, and within a reasonable length of time, the entire population of Britain, not to say the whole world.
[F] No connection to architecture.
[R] Is man-made.
Is it unique?
[Rosie] Thanks! Would've been nice to know when I went there every few weeks a few years ago... but at least that proves I could have been seen there, I guess
[Tuj] Not unique.
Vegetable wood?
[Rosie] Not wood.
Edible?
[CdM} Yes, edible.
Commonly eaten?
[CdM] Commonly eaten.
Eaten raw?
[Software] Not eaten raw.
A confectionary item of some sort?
[jim] I don't think this is classed as confectionary. Or confectionery.
Does it taste sweet?
[CdM re: gorilla] "the recipient will simply love it to pieces." Are they using "love" as a euphemism for "smash"?
A dish?
(I mean as in 'Fish and Chips', not as in a nice piece of Samian Ware)
[Projoy] * a ripple of polite applause* It is sweet.
[INJ] Not a dish.
Honey?
A raspberry ripple of polite applause?
[jim] Not honey (being neither cooked, nor -- apart from the occasional stray bee leg -- animal).
[CdM] Not a raspberry ripple.
Is suet involved?
[INJ] As near as I can judge from Google, this does not generally contain suet.
Jelly on a plate?
[FGZ*] Not jelly on a plate.
Can it be bought in a supermarket as a single item?
[Rosie] That sounds like two questions. Can it be bought in a supermarket? Yes. Does one buy them individually there? No.
Sold ready to eat?
[FGZ*] Ready to eat.
Rice pudding?
[FGZ*] Not rice pudding.
Generally found in the chiller cabinet?
[INJ] Brrrr? No.
Marshmallows?
[Software] Not marshmallows. (I'd class those with confectionery.)
Sweet and sour pork?
(Raak) Wasn't meant to be two questions but whether you could buy a packet of "it" in a supermarket, or anywhere.
Typically sold in a bottle, jar or can?
[Rosie] You can buy a packet of it.
[CdM] ...but not a bottle, jar, or can.
It might be profitable at this point to consider the Abstract part of this.
[Rosie] That was slightly misleading -- you can buy a packet of them.
Involves chocolate in any way? Such as a packet of "Smarties" or "M&Ms" ?
[irach] It can involve chocolate.
A cookie?
Crunchy frog?
[Rosie] Only if it's a crunchy frog cookie, as...
[CdM] ...a cookie it is. nom nom nom.
[Raak] Um, where's the baton? There seems to be just a pile of crumbs here.

This one is MINERAL and VEGETABLE.
Vegetable wood?
Wood? In part, yes.
mineral = metal?
A building?
A garden?
Metal? No.
A building? No.
A garden? No.
Significant amounts of water?
Significant amounts of water? It is going to come down a bit to the definition of "significant", but I think the best answer is No. Despite this, the audience *applauds*.
mineral = stone?
A natural feature?
A desert?
Stone? In large part, Yes
Natural feature? Yes.
Desert? No.
The Grand Canyon?
Grand Canyon? No. (Besides, someone already did that, iirc)
Near the sea?
Near the sea? Yes. *applause*
In Europe?
European? No.
Do rock climbers climb it?
A headland?
The hole in the rock, near Paihia, New Zealand?
Climbing? Yes (parts of it).
Headland? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Incredibly long-shot guess? No.
A mountain, possibly Everest?
In the Americas?
Is it an island?
Mountain? No.
In the Americas? No.
Island? Yes. *applause*
Rockall?
Long shot.
Rockall? No. (That's in Europe, last I heard)
In Australasia?
Inhabited?
Hawaii?
Java?
Australasian? No.
Inhabited? Yes.
Hawai'i? No.
Java? No.
Has it been in the news recently?
Volcanic?
Bigger than an Arran?
Tristan de Cuhna?
Newsworthy? Not that I am aware of.
Volcanic? No.
Arranometricity? Smaller than an Arran.
Tristan de Cunha? No.
Tropical?
Fernando Po
?
Tropical? Yes.
Fernando Po
? No
.
Isolated, i.e. not part of an archipelago?
Isolated? No.
A British Overseas Territory?
BOT? No.
In the Indian Ocean?
Bikini Atoll?
In the Indian Ocean? As so often happens, seemingly easy questions end up being harder than I expect. But, based on my reading of Wikipedia, the best answer is Yes. Not to be cryptic about it, it is in a body of water with a separate name, but which is usually considered to be part of the Indian Ocean.
Bikini? No.
Bay of Bengal?
Bay of Bengal? No.
Is it an independent country?
South China Sea?
Al Hallaniyah?
One of the Maldives?
Independent country? No.
South China Sea? No. (That's part of the Pacific.)
Al Hallaniyah? No.
One of the Maldives? No.
I'll just clarify one thing: this island is part of an archipelago by the standard definition, which is pretty broad -- that is, it is part of a group of islands. But focusing on well-known archipelagos is unlikely to be helpful. (My first reaction when I read Rosie's archipelago was that this island is not part of an archipelago, and it was only when I checked the definition of the word that I decided that it in fact is.)
In the Arabian Sea?
Réunion?
Part of Africa?
Arabian? No.
Réunion? No.
African? No.
Andaman and Nicobar Islands
Andaman and Nicobar Islands? No (Wikipedia tells me they are in the Bay of Bengal).
Sentosa?
Interestingly, Wikipedia shows the Indian Ocean going as far as the Malay peninsula and therefore including my guess. However that does also mean that several hundred Indonesian islands are also possibles.
Sentosa? No.
My reading of wikipedia is, roughly speaking, that there is one pretty broad definition of ocean, whereby pretty much all salt water is included in one ocean or another. Within these oceans there are then various pieces of water that have their own names -- example, the Bay of Bengal is part of the Indian Ocean. But there is also a narrower definition, in which the oceans are basically all the unnamed left over bits.
In the East Indies?
Excuse me for having 2 goes in a row - but at least it's not a guess at the answer.
That was my understanding as well, but I hadn't really thought about the implications in that part of the world, if you're going to say that you go directly from the Indian to the Pacific ocean.
East Indian? No.
Part of Australia?
Komodo?
Australian? No.
Komodo? No.
Not sure why it is proving so hard to narrow this down, other than the fact that people are doing a fair amount of guessing of places that have already been ruled out, and people are jumping perhaps too soon to guessing particular places.

What you know: This is an inhabited non-volcanic tropical island, one of a group, smaller than the Isle of Arran, not recently in the news. Rock climbing occurs there, and it does not have significant amounts of water on it.

It is located in a named body of water that is typically understood to be in the Indian Ocean. (As long as we are taking the broad definition of ocean there is no ambiguity about which ocean it is in.)

It is not Sentosa, Réunion, Al Hallaniyah, Komodo, Java, one of the Maldives, or one of the Andaman and Nicobar islands. It is not in the Arabian Sea or the Bay of Bengal. It is not African or Australasian, or in the East Indies. It is not a British Overseas Territory.

I will tell you for free that I think you are unlikely simply to guess it without more information. I don't expect everyone here to have heard of it (it may fail the Rosie test) but I would expect some or several people to have done so. It does have a couple of claims to fame. And there was a reason why I chose it as a subject; it's not just some random small island.
Is this island inhabited by natives of the territory (as opposed to resident scientists)?
Does it have a name in English?
Phuket Island?
Was it affected by a tsunami a few years ago?
Inhabited by natives? I'd guess that most of the inhabitants are natives of the country of which this island is part, but very few would have been born on the island itself. There are also certainly some foreign residents, but I doubt if there are many scientists.
Name in English? Not exactly sure what you mean, but I think the best answer is No. (It can certainly be referred to using the English language, and in that sense the answer is yes, but I presume you mean something more than that.)
Phuket? No. *applause* (As an example to clarify my previous answer, I would say that "Phuket" is not a name in English as I understand the term; it is simply an English phonetic representation of the island's name in Thai.)
Tsunami-affected? Yes. *applause*
In the Andaman Sea?
Though if the answer is yes then we may need a clarification on the meaning of 'East Indies'.
Andaman Sea? Yes. My bad, sorry. I thought I knew the meaning of East Indies and didn't even bother to check. Turns out there's been a gap in my geographical knowledge all my life.
Yes, wikipedia's definition was wider than I expected, but since you'd already quoted wikipedia I assumed you were going with it. BTW I think I have a very good candidate for the answer, but I'll wait a couple of hours or until someone else has had a go.
OK, I'm feeling a bit less stupid now
According to Britannica online's entry on East Indies:

"Historically, the term East Indies is loosely applied to any of three contexts. The most restrictive and best-known use is as a synonym for the islands that now constitute the Republic of Indonesia (formerly known as the Netherlands Indies, or Dutch East Indies); these include the Greater Sunda Islands (Borneo, Celebes, Java, and Sumatra), the Lesser Sunda Islands (stretching eastward from Bali to Timor), the Moluccas, and New Guinea (including Papua New Guinea on the eastern half of the island). In a second, larger sense, East Indies refers to the Malay Archipelago (including the Philippines), which now is more commonly called insular (or archipelagic) Southeast Asia. Finally, in its broadest context, the term East Indies encompasses the foregoing plus all of mainland Southeast Asia and India."

By this account, islands in the Andaman sea would be included in the second definition or the third, depending in turn on the exact meaning of "Malay Archipelago", but not in the first.

On the other hand, that discussion also suggests that perhaps I should not have had reservations about including this island in an archipelago.
Were you there, either during or shortly after the tsunami?
Was I there? No. I have never been there.
Koh Phi Phi?
No, it begins with ผ
เกาะ ผีผี (pronounced Pee Pee) is indeed the correct answer. Somehow, Tuj never shows up when he is really needed. (Phi Phi actually refers to a small group of islands, but when answering I had in mind the largest, Phi Phi Don.)

One บะถน handed over.
kob kun krab. I couldn't remember the name, but I searched for 'beach movie location' as I remembered about the fuss over bringing in palm trees etc.

This next one is ANIMAL with Abstract connections

Human Animal?
[GL] Human? - YES
Alive?
[Rosie] Still with us? - NO
English-speaking? (Back when he or she was still alive enough to speak, of course)
[CdM] Anglophone? - NO
Male?
[irach] The stronger sex? - YES
Infamous?
European?
[FGZstar] Infamy, infamy? - NO
[CdM] European? - NO
Real person based on whom a movie was made?
Alive at any time during the 20th century?
[irach] Movie subject? - NO
[CdM] Around in C20? - NO
Biblical figure?
A national leader?
A single individual?
(We've been assuming that, but haven't confirmed it)
[irach] Biblical? - NO
[Rosie] National Leader? - Not as easy to answer as you'd think, as it depends on the definition of both words. I'll say NO(ish)
[CdM] individual? - YES
A state governor?
Begins with P?
[CdM] For shame! Mea culpa
Of African racial descent?
(Within the last three hundred years, I mean, since I believe we all are in another sense).
[FGZstar] gubernatorial? - NO
[Tuj] Pstarting? - NO
[Projoy] Out of Africa? - NO
From the East Indies?
(proudly flaunting my new-found knowledge)
[CdM] East Indiaman? - NO (by any definition)
Alive in the C19th?
Sonam Gyatso?
[Projoy] 19th century? - YES
[CdM] Dalai Lama(III)? - NO
From North America?
Does the abstract part of the answer on the card result from this gentleman lending his name to something or somewhere?
Spanish-speaking?
[Projoy] Unlikely (though not impossible) given that he was not an Anglophone. We're probably down to S. America, Russia or China.
[INJ] The first or the third, depending on which Wikipedia page you go to...
[Projoy] N America? - NO
[Dujon] Eponym? - NO (but don't give up on the abstract element - I reckon you need it as well)
[CdM] Hispanophone? - NO
BTW There was a slight murmur of appreciation in the audience at CdM's previous question. Also, to clarify, I don't know that the male in question spoke no English or Spanish, but it's unlikely and they certainly weren't his first language.
Hannibal?
Have you read any of the previous answers?
[FGZstar] Hannibal? - NO (of course there could be a Hannibal who didn't come from Africa and was alive in the 19th Century)
Associated with a specific religion?
[CdM] Mm. Lots of non-Anglophones in Mexico, I'd've thought, in the C19th, not to mention now, and I daresay some indigenous North American people in the C19th might not have spoken English...
[Projoy] A specific religion? - YES *applause*
From Asia?
[Projoy] Asian? - YES
[CdM et al] An apology is in order from me this time. I have had another look at Wikipedia and by the longest stretch of the definition with the longest stretch he could be described as from the East Indies - just not by any use of the term I've ever come across. Can we agree going forward that we'll only use the term for the Malay/Indonesia/Borneo/Phillipines etc. archipelagos?
From China (C19 borders)?
[Projoy] Chinese? - NO
Do you know the name of this individual?
[Projoy] I didn't mean unlikely in the sense that it was unlikely you'd be able to find a non-Anglophone in N. America. I meant unlikely that the solution to this AVMA would be North American and non-Anglopohone. If you see what I mean.
[CdM] Do I know his name? - YES, and I would accept that - but that's not what's on the card.
from Asia Minor?
[Projoy] Little Asia? - NO
From the Middle East?
[Projoy] Middle Eastern? - NO (Between you & CdM you've straddled the target very well)
From India?
[FGZstar] From India? - Depends - Not from somewhere that is currently in India.
From what is now Pakistan?
Well, that was a bit painful
[Projoy] Land of the Pure? - YES *relieved applause*
Gotama Siddhattha?
[GL] Sid Arthur? - NO (wrong country and 2400 years too early)
Dalip Singh Sukerchakia (aka The Last Maharajah)?
(yes, I looked him up)
Actually, he probably spoke English, didn't he? Hm...
Ranjit Singh, Lion of the Punjab?
(aka "Napoleon of the East", to boot)
[Projoy] Last Maharajah? - NO
Lion of the Punjab? - NO
You're right, it's quite plausible that the person in question had some English given where and when he lived, but I don't know that and it wouldn't be helpful to know in any way I can think of.
P.S. Don't forget the Abstract - there's more to it than just a nickname.
Is this person popularly supposed to be divine in some way?
And I'm not talking about a fabulous hairdo.
[Projoy] Divinity? - NO but *some applause*
Imran Khan?
Is The Answer the title of a person or an office they would hold?
Hm. I must admit I'm even drawing a blank with Wikipedia on this one.
Does the abstract element link to some present-day phrase or saying?
[Software] Imran Khan - NO
[Projoy] Titular? - YES *another small ripple of applause*
[CdM] Phrase or saying? - NO
I think you're only a couple of questions away - in fact, if you came up with the answer I think you would have a pretty good idea that it was correct. The religious element was important, but I had no idea it existed when I chose the subject and I expect it's not really going to help much except as confirmation. The abstract link is probably the key.
Does the title take the form "The X of X"?
(Or rather, the X of Y, I suppose)
[Projoy] 'X of Y'? - YES *the audience starts getting coats and bags together*
Is the "Y" a specific city, such as Lahore?
[Projoy] Why a city? - NO, not a city
Not the Nawab of Pataudi, shurely?
[Rosie] The Noob? - NO (Assuming you mean Iftikir or Mansoor Ali Khan, the cricketers, then it's wrong century & country again)
Is the "Y" the name of a "nation" - e.g. a body of people even if not necessarily a recognised state?
[Projoy] Nation/people - Let me put it this way. It's the name of a geographical area and, by extension, the people who inhabit it. Whether they constituted a 'nation' or 'people' at the time is less clear.
Is the area Punjab?
[Projoy] - Punjab? NO
BTW it would be a bit of a blow if someone else were to jump in and get it now, wouldn't it? (This the last time I'll say it, but - Abstract?)
OK - the abstract connection... to do with a published work of fiction?
[Projoy] Printed Page? - YES *audience perk up again*
Fiction? - Category Error (If forced, I would say Yes, but that's misleading)
Is this person mentioned in a religious work?
The Akond of Swat, as in Edward Lear's "Who or which or why or what, Is the Akond of Swat"...?
Well, there you go
After all Projoy's hard work!!!
It is The Akond of Swat (or Akhund, if you prefer) - Muslim Saint and key regional figure on the NW frontier of the late C18 and first half of C19, but much better known these days because of Mr Lear.
The baton passes to irach.
Not kicking myself
It's OK. I hadn't actually heard of the AoS, so probably would have taken me several days more working solo!
Profanity restraint.
Two in succession I haven't heard of. This is so-ooo boring.
[Rosie, all] Constructive suggestion: perhaps when a player sets a new answer, they could email it to Rosie first, and he can confirm he's heard of it before the round commences. That way, there'll be a more level playing field.
This one is ANIMAL.
Human?
Alive?
[Glogin] Yes, human.
[Projoy] Dead as a doornail.
Unique individual?
Female?
[CdM] ? . . . ;)
[Dujon] As opposed to a collection of humans. And also, perhaps, as opposed to an individual defined by his or her role (e.g., 'The British Prime Minister'), so at any moment the answer is an individual, but that individual is not the only person to have held that role. But yes, "specific" rather than "unique" might have been a bit less of a tautological repetition of the same thing.
From a country which has English as one of its official languages?
Died in C20?
[CdM] Yes, a unique named individual.
[Dujon] No, not female.
[FGZ*] No, no English speak.
[Pro :)] Did not die in C20.
Died in C21?
Died in C19?
A political figure?
A deeply religious chap?
[CdM] My aplogies, but I couldn't resist. Your response had me chuckling out loud. Thanks.
European?
[Rosie] Sorry you feel that way about it, but I don't consider one of Edward Lear's best-known poems to be obscure and the Swat valley has been in the news quite a lot in the last few years. The other information about him was new to me.
A renowned thinker?
[Gusset Login] Did not die in C21.
[Projoy] Did not die in C19.
[CdM] A political figure... yes, in a manner of speaking.
[Dujon] As far as I know nothing is really known if or whether the individual was a deeply religious chap or not.
[ImNotJohn] Not European.
[FGZStar] He certainly had a following, but was not specifically known as a philosopher-type renowned thinker.
Primarily known as a warrior?
[ImNotJohn] In some biographical accounts, he is known as a warrrior.
Died after CE1500?
From the Indian subcontinent?
[Projoy] Yes, he died after CE 1500.
[Raak} Not from the Indian subcontinent.
Died before CE1700?
[Projoy] Yes, died before CE 1700
Chinese?
Was he an artist of some sort?
[INJ] Well, the poem was about the fact he knew nothing about him... ;)
[Raak] Not Chinese.
[Tuj] Not an artist.
South American?
So far this man seems to have been singularly unimpressive. Was he Russian?
[Projoy] Not South American.
[Dujon] Not Russian.
The leader of a group of people?
From North America?
(by which I mean everything from the Panama isthmus to Alert)
Begins with P?
From the territory that would later be the USSR?
[ImNotJohn] Yes! The leader of a group of people.
[Projoy} Yes, from North America (the audience sits up, roused from slumber induced by apathy, and now bristles with anticipation).
[Tuj] Does not begin with "P".
[Raak] See the last response to Projoy. Therefore, "Nyet".
Of European ethnicity?
From Mexico?
[Rosie] Not of European ancestry.
[Projoy] Yes. Si, si! Méxicano.
Moctezuma II?
Moctezuma II it is. A baton shaped like an Aztec battle mace, decorated with quetzal feathers is handed over to Projoy!
Koh Phi Phi (potassium hydroxide, half of one plus root five, half of one plus root five), The Akond of Swat, as opposed to the Akond of Chemical Insect Repellant, and Moctezuma II, presumably related to the Retributively Laxative One. You children are all far too clever for me.
[Rosie] Yep, Moctezuma II is better known to many (including me up to a few moments before I made my guess) simply as Montezuma. I daresay irach would have accepted that answer too...
OK, the next is ABSTRACT
The unbearable lightness of being?
The set of things Rosie knows?
Dismay?
Abstractness?
[jim] Lightness? *some audience laughter* NO
[INJ] What Rosie Knew? NO, altho I considered very seriously setting that!
[Phil] Dismay or Datmay? NO
[Raak] A study in abstraction? NO, altho I wish I had thought to set that.
A way of life?
Related to the arts?
Begins with P?
[Knobbly] A way of life? NO
[INJ] Related to the arts? YEAH, SOMEWHAT
[Tuj] Begins with P? YES
(Hypothesis: the discovery of the initial letter always encourages players to start making random guesses much earlier than they otherwise would, resulting in slower actual progress toward the answer. However, drawing players' attention to this hypothetical phenomenon might counteract the effect by nudging them toward persistence with deductive questioning instead of randomly guessing words beginning with P for three days.)
Does it consist of words?
A condition that affects people?
Is it you?
[Raak] Not quite sure how to interpret the question. The Answer obviously consists of [the] words [on the card] but the words making up The Answer don't refer to something that consists of words (e.g. "a phrase") How'd I do?
[!John] A condition? NO
[Tuj] I'm so vain, you bet I think this clue is about me? NO (I've already been an answer in this game, in fact).
Paulo Picasso?
Musical connection?
(I figure I'm allowed a serious question as well.)
Tangible?
[CdM] PP the Painter? NO
[CdM] Music? NO.
[FGZstar] Can be tanged? NO
Related to religion?
Is it a human invention?
Persistence?
[Phil] Religious? NO
[Tuj] A human invention? I WOULD SAY NOT, altho there are arguments either way.
[GL] Persistence? NO :)
Related to mathematics?
Is the answer on the card a single word?
[CdM] Numbery? BARELY
[Tuj] alloneword? There are three words on the card, but there's definitely a one word answer I'd accept.
So, so far, we have tenuous connections to both the arts and mathematics.
Did the Ancient Greeks know about this?
[INJ] Greeks knew? I EXPECT SO, altho I know of no evidence they did.
(Having googled the topic of The Ancient Greeks and The Answer, and discovered it to be an extremely subtle matter, I'd put it another way: The Answer was certainly manifest in Ancient Greece and its existence was unlikely to have been overlooked, but for reasons that will become clear, a straight yes would be a significant oversimplification.)
Would yer average Guardian-reading Surrey pensioner be aware of this?
[Rosie] If you've never heard of this, I simply won't know how much lower it's possible to set the bar in future :P
Related to physics?
[irach] Physics-related? YES, SOMEWHAT
Something to do with light?
[Rosie] Light-related? YES.
Is the word 'rainbow' relevant?
The summer solstice?
[Duj] Rainbow-relevant? YES, to an extent.
[Rosie] Wicker Man weather? NO.
Prism-related?
Polarization of light?
Lightning?
Maxwell's equations?
[CdM] Prism sentence? NOT REALLY
[irach] Pole dancing? NO
[Rosie] Stormy weather? NO
[Raak] Maxwell? NO
Colour-blindness?
Photosynthesis?
Does a particular colour appear on the card? (Pink, purple, puce...)
[Rosie] Color-blindness? *audience applause and cheering* NO
[Knobbly] Sunshine into cells? NO
[CdM] YES!! You have landed right on it. The words on the card are The Color Puce, all of which appear in your question, so I think you win. *hands over a purplish-brown sort of baton*
Well! That was unexpected!
This one is ABSTRACT, with various ANIMAL connections (and more tenuous MINERAL and VEGETABLE connections)
Barbeque?
An activity?
Just in case anyone wondered about the Ancient Greek stuff, the name for the color puce dates back to C18 France, and there's no extant evidence that the Ancient Greeks had a word for it. In fact there seems to be considerable doubt that Ancient Greek words for colors even really map to current concepts of color, with the color words not necessarily describing a shade, but physical properties instead or as well as.
Barbequan? No
Acting Town? No. I doubt that I will be able to keep this theme up for long :-)
A Human Construct?
Made-up Vale? Yes.
Animal sacrifice?
Anything to do with the tube?
(May as well be obvious if no-one else will)
Killingdone? No.
Tubish? Interesting question. The simple answer is No. Nevertheless, there is one connection, highly tangential yet perhaps still significant.
Is the animal connection entirely human?
Human animals? Yes. There are different kinds of animal connections, to various different humans.
To any particular human is there just one type of animal connection?
Types of connection? Let me try to clarify. There are, I would say, three distinct animal connections, each of a rather different kind. Each is a connection to a particular individual or group of individuals. (So I'm not sure I understand the question, but I think the answer is yes.)
Begins with P?
[CdM] Phew! Can't wait for that answer to become clear at the end of this round!
Is this a form of commendation bestowed upon an individual, group of individuals or posthumously?
If that makes sense.
Begins with P? No.
Commmmendation? No.
Is the Tube connection to do with the name of a particular station?
Is it artistic?
Tangential tube connection to particular station? Yes *applause*
Artistic? Um, yes. I suppose. *laughter*
Sorry, I'm traveling right now so internet connection is a bit interrupted
Is the human connection to specific individuals, alive or dead?
The Butcher, the Baker and the Candlestick maker? With Baker Street being the tangential Tube connection and representing three different groups of individuals...
Connected with the world of work?
Specific individuals alive or dead? As I said, I am thinking of three connections. One is to a group of specific individuals, all alive to the best of my knowledge. The second is to a single specific individual, alive. The third is to a specific individual who is fictional.
BBC? No. (The tube connection is very specifically to an individual station. It is tangential in the sense that the link between that station and the answer is somewhat indirect. Pursuing that connection might not be the easiest way to the answer, but it is one possible route.)
Work-related? No.
Is it associated with a particular location?
Associated with a particular location? Difficult to answer. In one sense, yes. But in the sense that you probably intend, I think the best answer is No.
Invented within the last 100 years?
Cor, right. Let's muck in.
Invented in last hundred years? Yes (though "invented" is not the usual word).
[Tuj] In response to your prior question, I'll add for free that the reason that it's difficult to answer is that the particular location is -- to the best of my knowledge -- fictional.
Is it associated with television?
[CdM] Very sporting of you, and very conscientiously answered =)
I'm glad someone's still playing!
TV-related? No.
Harry Potter related?
Do any of these people have something in common besides The Answer?
Pottery? No.
Things in common? The group of individuals have in common the fact that they are part of this group of individuals. The specific fictional individual is linked to this group. The specific real individual is, as far as I know, completely unconnected except through The Answer.
Any religious connection?
Science-related?
Is the group of individuals a popular beat combo?
Any connection to sport?
Religious connection? No.
Science-related? No.
Popular beat combo? Yes! *loud applause*
Sporting connection? No.
Is the answer a song title?
Song title? Yes. *applause*
The Diary of Horace Wimp?
Is the fictional human a character named in the song?
Horace Wimp? No.
Fictional human named in the song? Yes. *applause*
Eleanor Rigby?
The rise and fall of someone or other?
The unmourned Ms Rigby? No.
Rise and fall? No.
Incidentally, I seem to have beaten Wikipedia with this one. None the less, I am confident that many people here will know the answer. I am even tentatively confident that Rosie is one of them. :-)
Also incidentally, it occurs to me that, for completeness, I should note that there are a large number of other animal connections, but these are uninteresting and unhelpful in terms of getting to the answer.
My Old Man (who's a dustman)
Tentatively confident that this is not the answer, but may help.
Gorblimey trousers? No. You were warmer with Eleanor Rigby (though not warm enough to get applause, remember)
Mr Postman (please)
Another pot-shot before I start asking serious questions.
Is the fictional person, who is named in the song, male?
Is the character named in the title?
Postman Pat? No.
Fictional person male? No.
Eponymity? Yes.
Mr Tambourine Man?
[Rosie] That would have to be Ms Tambourine Man, so No.
Is the real person named in the song?
Real person named in the song? The name of the real person appears in the song, but not as a reference to the real person.
A song from before 1960?
The Girl from Ipanema?
re - Tambourine Person. It was getting late, even for me.
Mrs Robinson?
Pre-1960? No.
Ipanemanian? No.
Anne Bancroft? No.
A British song?
Let me summarise/recapitulate and answer Rosie's question as I do so.

You are looking for a song, written since 1960. performed by a popular* beat combo. The title of the song includes (or perhaps is) the name of a female fictional person. The song also has a connection to a real person (actually, many real people, but only one is of interest); to clarify my earlier response to INJ, the real person shares a name with the fictional person named in the song.

Now here is some more information for free: Wikipedia informed/reminded me that there are actually quite a few songs with the same or related titles. Some of these songs are better known than the one I have in mind (which is, remember, sufficiently obscure that it is not mentioned in Wikipedia). Of course, finding one of these other songs would be a possible route to the answer. The song that I have in mind is British. The song that I have in mind also has a tangential connection to a particular LU station. A fictional location is named in the song, but I don't think that's helpful.

You are not likely to guess it outright (although that's not impossible). Your best route might be to focus on the real person at this point. Or, if you like, on the LU link. You are also welcome to ask questions about the other songs that share the same title, but I warn you that most of them are not songs that I know.

*It's fair to say it was popular at the time. It's also fair to say it is largely forgotten now, I think.
Nonetheless, is the song from the sixties?
Is the real person still alive?
Taking the suggested route
Song from the sixties? Yes.
Real person still alive? Yes.
(Oh, and two other LU stations are tangentially linked to the LU station that is tangentially linked to the song.)
Is the character referred to by their given name (with or without surname)?
Caroline by the Fortunes?
A Beatles song?
Referred to by given name? Yes.
Caroline? No.
Beatles? No. I remind you that I said that this particular group is largely forgotten.
Does the song title consist of the person's given name and family name and nothing else?
as in 'Eleanor Rigby' or 'Jennifer Eccles'
Is the surname mentioned in the title?
[INJ, Projoy] The song title consists of a given name (which might or might not be a nickname) and nothing else.
A propos of not much, I'm amused that there is a connection (via a rather better known performer) that I can draw between Software's guess and the answer. But that on its own is unlikely to be of help to you. If you need a clue later I might elaborate on that.
Lola?
Lola? No. (I really do think it is unlikely you will just guess it)
Was the real person an adult when the song was released?
Real person an adult? Good question. I'm almost certain that the answer is yes.
Is the real person British?
British? Yes.
The real person: renowned as a great beauty at the time of the song?
Great beauty? *audience laughter* Whether the person was a great beauty I have no idea. I'm confident that the person was not widely renowned for the fact.
Was she known mainly for her profession?
Is the person known simply by their first/given name?
Real person known mainly for profession? No. (But the fictional person, perhaps yes.)
Real person known simply by first/given name? The least misleading answer is Yes, though the strict answer is probably No.
Is the real person most famous for being married to or in a relationship with someone substantively famous?
Real person famous for relationship? No. Check your assumptions.
Is the real person the same for every questioner?
So (trying to summarise it for myself). The answer is a song title from the sixties released by a group who are not particularly well-known now (I'm thinking of the stature of The Honeycombs). The title is a woman's given name/nickname . That name is also the name of a real individual also identifiable solely by that single given name (or perhaps more likely, nickname). The real individual is still alive and was probably? an adult when the song was released.
Real person the same for every questioner? Yes. But if you had asked the question a bit differently I might have had to give a very different answer.
And I think your summary is accurate. Don't think I know/remember the Honeycombs (but then I had forgotten the name of the band that sang the answer before I looked it up, even though I remembered several of their songs).
Was the real person we've been talking about famous at all?
Was the real person famous? No. *applause* Now question your other assumptions. :-)
Having googled The Honeycombs, I think INJ has it about right. The group that sang the answer is perhaps a bit better known (although its Wikipedia entry is shorter), but certainly roughly equivalent in stature.
Speaking of The Honeycombs, the first second of this video is worth seeing.
Is the real person only identified by a relationship?
Like 'Grandma'
BTW - Can't look at Youtube from work. This is getting to be more and more of a restriction.
Is this non-famous real person also female?
Real person identified by relationship? No.
Non-famous real person female? No! *applause*
(I'm reasonably confident, by the way, that INJ will know/remember the answer, and I think most Morniversers of my age or older will also know it. I'm less sure about Young Master Projoy and his contemporaries -- they may need to use the google -- although I think there is a good chance that he (they) would at least know another song by the group.)
Rosie?
I can think of 2 60's songs with that title. The one by a group would be The New Vaudeville Band IIRC (not googled)
INJ has it! Rosie by the New Vaudeville Band is the answer on the card. The timeless lyrics, for those of you who have forgotten, began
There's a pub in town called the Rose and Crown
And one day I met Rosie there.
(dadada)
She served my drink with a knowing wink
I knew that I would get somewhere
(dadada)
I heard her whisper she was mine
So we left before closing time

Rosie was on the B-side of Finchley Central. Timeless lyrics:
Finchley Central is two and sixpence from Golders Green on the Northern Line
And on the platform, by the kiosk, that's where you said you'd be mine
There we made a date
For hours I waited
But I'm blowed, you never showed.

However, the NVB were most famous for Winchester Cathedral, a top ten hit in the UK, and number one in the US. I won't bother to reproduce the timeless lyrics. Part of my reason for choosing this answer was the discussion of music over at mcios, where INJ observed that a lot of that 60s music we thought was so great doesn't actually hold up all that well. And yet, and yet...

The link to Software's Caroline guess was through Neil Diamond (Sweet Caroline and Cracklin' Rosie). I will leave it to Rosie himself to tell us if he was a (a) an adult and (b) a great beauty in 1967.

*takes baton made of polyvinylchloride, drills very narrow hole through the center along its entire length, compresses the ends of the cylinder until it is a flat disc of about 17.8 cm diameter, and gives it to INJ*
Rosie, oh Rosie. It's raining when you look the other way.
And again Projoy asks the key question and someone else does a Cavendish on him. I feel almost embarrassed (but not enough to give up my turn).

OK, this one is VEGETABLE

Is it a pea?
Welp, I'm glad the cavalry arrived for that one =)
Edible?
[Tuj] Begins with a 'P' (followed by an 'e' and an 'a')? - NO
[CdM] Comestible? - NO
Is it classed as a tree?
Is it Alive?
Is it unique?
[Knobbly] Tree-y? - YES *applause*
[GLogin] Alive? - YES
[Tuj] Oneique? - YES
Is it notable for its dimension?
Tane Mahoute?
Notable for other than physical reasons?
(CdM et al) (a) Adult in 1967? I have never been an adult except where it matters. (b) A great beauty? Only two Morniversers, Software and Chalky, know what I really look like. Ask them, while I quietly yet viciously twist their arms. I was a little prettier in 1967 but not much, time having been kind to me.
(INJ) That's the only Rosie I can remember. (Don Partidge). I started work at a perfume factory as a chemist in Jan 67 and immediately got called Rosie by the lads in the factory, from my first name, and hence the monicker. That having been established, when the song came out in 1968 they started singing it at me. All quite aimiable, despite my white coat and their boiler suits since I was quite young (25). I don't remember Rosie by the New Vaudeville Band BTW.
A form of grass?
The Royal Oak at Boscobel?
This is going quickly
[Tuj] - monster bonsai? - NO
[FGZStar] Lord of the Forest? - NO
[Rosie] Other than Physically famous? - Hmmm, I could argue that either way depending on what you mean by physical reasons. Let's go for NOish.
[Dujon] Bamboo-ey? - NO
[CdM] The original Royal Oak? - NO
Famous due to location?
In Europe?
Would Robin Hood have strong connections?
[FGZstar] Famous for site? - NO
[CdM] European? - NO
[Dujon] Majorly Hoodie? - NO (though that's where I started before deciding on the actual answer)
Superlative in any respect?
(physically, I mean)
Is this a specific tree-y object (as opposed to a unique family or grouping)?
[Projoy] x-est? - YES *prolonged applause*
[Dujon] Specific tree? - YES
Apologies for infrequent responses - heavy decorating weekend, and discovered the wireless router only works properly when it's in the room we've stripped out.
Is it notable for its age?
"Methuselah" the bristlecone pine from California?
We have a winner
Projoy has it - it is Methuselah - the current oldest known living tree (I would have accepted that as an answer). After his efforts in the last few, I regard that as well-deserved.
One slightly bristly baton passed on
Timber!
Phew. Glad to have finally felled one after so long (altho as with Akond of Swat, I wouldn't have gotten "Rosie" very quickly, if at all, using the deductive method. Still enjoyed both tho).

This one is VEGETABLE and/or ABSTRACT (and topical). Probably a bit of mineral involved too, but unlikely to help.
The Great Pumpkin?
Is it largely paper?
The Sunny Sun on Sunday?
[Raak] Pumpkin? NO
[Tuj] Largely paper? YES, typically.
[CdM] The Even Newers of the World? NO
Does it have words on it?
A book?
[Raak] Has words on? YES *applause*
[INJ] A book? NO
A printed apology?
:o)
Related to the phone hacking scandal?
[Software] Desperate PR exercise? NO
[Raak] Phone-hacking related? YES
A letter of resignation?
[Raak] YES! and please accept mine from the chairmanship. *hands over envelope*
MINERAL.
Unique?
Stone?
[jim] Unique.
[Projoy] Not stone.
Man made?
[K] Man made.
An alloy?
The Eiffel Tower?
Unique?
Oops. Already answered. Located in Europe?
The Golden Gate bridge?
[D] Not an alloy.
[GL] Not the Eiffel Tower.
[P] Mmm...slightly tricky. No, not in Europe.
[i] Not the Golden Gate.
Has it ever been in Europe?
[P] (nerdish nit-picking mode) tricky... (common sense mode) No, it's never been in Europe.
Bigger than a house by volume?
In the Middle East?
[P] Bigger than a small house, maybe not bigger than a large one.
[CdM] (common sense mode) Not in the Middle East.
Is it a single, discrete structure (that has been made up of mostly the same molecules for the length of its existence)?
On the surface of the earth?
Begins with P?
[P] Roughly, yes, a single discrete structure.
[INJ] *applause!* Not at the moment.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Space shuttle Atlantis?
A non-geostationary manmade satellite?
[P] no, because...
[CdM] Atlantis it is. Have this space alloy baton carved out of the scrap metal of our space dreams.
Standing on the shoulders of others' coattails there.
This one should be easier than my last couple, I think. It is VEGETABLE (and I suppose technically MINERAL as well).
Salted potato crisp or chip?
edible?
Smaller than a toaster?
Crispchip? No.
Edible? Yes
Smaller than toaster? Not really a well defined question.
Smaller than a standard two slice toaster?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wahl-Slice-Toaster-Touch-ZX515/dp/B000SZ085Y/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1311252738&sr=8-11
Larger than a toaster in some dimension(s) but smaller in others?
Is it unique?
Does it consist of a single vegetable ingredient?
e.g. Mashed Potato rather than sliced bread
Mineral salt?
Solid?
A single, discrete item?
Is its main purpose to be eaten?
Or is its edibility merely because of material choice?
Liquidy or pureed?
Toaster questions? Still not well-defined.
Unique? No.
Single ingredient? No.
Salty? No (I can't definitively say there is no salt, but it's not what I was thinking of and I have found no mention of it).
Solid? No.
Discrete item? No.
Meant to be eaten? Yes.
Liquid? Yes.
Does it come in different flavours?
Does it come in a variety of sizes?
Different flavours? Yes, at least sort of.
Different sizes? Again, it's a liquid so the question is not really very well-defined. That said, Yes is a reasonable answer.
Could I buy it in a British supermarket?
A glass of something?
Astescbury? Perhaps not every supermarket, but I'm sure you could find it easily.
Glass of something? That's how you'd often encounter it, Yes. <*applause*
Is it (gasp) intoxicating?
Intoxicating? Yes. (No applause because the audience, knowing me, was taking that for granted.)
Old Rosie?
The brand of alcoholic beverage not the (relatively youthful) player of this game.
distilled?
Old Rosie? No.
Distilled? Yes.
A whisky?
Whisky? No. And for free, I'll tell you it is also not a whiskey.
A particular brand of distilled beverage?
Tequila?
Tequila? No. (I think I did that once before, years ago)
A brandy?
amaretto?
A particular brand?
Brandy? No.
Amaretto? Yeeeuuuuch. No.
Particular brand? Oops, sorry, missed that. No.
Invented in Europe?
European? Yes.
Akvavit?
Akvavit/aquavit? No.
Associated with a particular country?
Distilled from a fruit?
Distilled from a grain?
Absinthe?
Rock & Rye?
Associated with a particular country? Yes.
Distilled from fruit? Yes.
Distilled from grain? No.
Absinthe? No. *loud applause*
Sex and drugs and fruit-flavored whiskey? No.
I have a feeling that INJ is going to hit me with a few technical fouls on this one, revolving around certain definitions.
Ouzo?
Ouzo? No. *more applause*
Anis?
Sambuca?
Actually, no, not distilled from a fruit per se. How 'bout pastis?
And it is indeed the one that begins with P -- pastis. The technicalities that I had trouble with were (a) do liqueurs such as pastis (which is technically a liqueur because it has sugar added) that have as their basis a distilled alcohol themselves count as distilled?; and should I have at least given some applause to brandy, given that the broad definition of brandy is alcohol distilled from fruit? It was actually surprisingly hard to find what kind of alcohol typically forms the basis for a pastis, since it is the added herbs etc rather the alcohol that are its defining feature.

One provencale baton handed to Projoy
Gosh, I never knew of such subtleties. I thought they chucked fruit in a bucket, waited till it went off then poured off the juice into bottles...

These last few have gone refreshingly quickly. Here's an attempt at another swift one (famous last words) ABSTRACT
Human construct?
[CdM] HuCo? YEAH, I guess so.
Topical?
[INJ] Topical? NO
Begins with P?
One of the cardinal sins?
[Tuj] P? NO
[cfm] Se7en? NO
Related to current events?
An emotion?
[FGZstar] Currency? NO
[GL] Emotion? NOT REALLY, altho there are connections to emotion.
One word on the card?
A medical condition?
[Tuj] Monolog? NO
[FGZstar] A medical condition? NO *a few laughs*
(PS. While I was unwell a little while ago I passed the time by listing all the answers in this game. This is the 439th clue. When we get to 500, I might post up the details).
Something debunked?
Experienced by the typical morniverser?
Related to the arts?
[cfm] Debunked? NO
[CdM] Experienced by us? HM. Not sure I can give a meaningful answer, and certainly not a helpful one.
[INJ] Arts? YES, there is an arts connection.
Related to a particular colour?
[Proj] I did once list all the outcomes of the Begins-with-P question - so it'd be interesting to see what percentage of subjects actually have begun with P. Also, did you note how many questions it took to determine each answer?
Primarily the performing arts?
[Tuj] Color? NO
[INJ] Performing? NO
[Tuj] I'm quite sad, but not quite that sad! I did take a note of how many days each one took, tho, so that's a rough and ready guide.
Generally positive?
[CdM] +ve? *much audience laughter and some applause* YES, DEFINITELY.
Connected to music?
An award?
[Tuj] Music-y? NO
[INJ] An award? NO *some matey laughter*
A board game?
[Duj] Board Game? NO
Specific to a particular culture?
Primarily confined to electronic media?
[CdM] Culture-specific? NO (altho the artistic connection is)
[INJ] Electronic media? NO
Related to, um, reproduction?
Figuring that the audience is easily amused.
[CdM] Sexy? *audience laughter* NO (only in the most tangential manner, via the artistic connection)
Related to the visual arts?
Painting, photography, etc. as opposed to performing or literary.
[INJ] Visual arts? NO (but it's one of the others you named)
Related to the literary arts?
Oblig.
A particular type of writing?
[Tuj] Yes, that was the next question
[Tuj] Related to literature? YES
[INJ] Particular kind thereof? YES
A specific literary work?
[FGZstar] Related to a specific work? YES
A novel?
[INJ] Related to a novel? YES
Is it the title of said novel?
[Tuj] Eponymous? NO
Comedic?
[Chalky] Is the novel with which The Answer is connected comedic? NO
More from the archives...
(Incidentally, stats fans, I just checked to see if there was any evidence of familial bias in this game and discovered that, while CdM is better at guessing INJ's clues than anyone else, INJ is second to Raak at guessing CdM's.)
Written in the 20th century?
[re INJ] Yes, well, I've known him for longer than he's known me.
Is this a well known phrase or saying which originated in a novel?
[archives stats] I think INJ 'holds back' from guessing CdM's clues to avoid nepotismic accusatories [I made that phrase up] whereas CdM displays no such compunction when guessing INJ's clues.
;-)
[irach] C20 novel? NO
[Chalky] Phrase from a novel? YES! *applause*
It is a truth universally acknowledged that it was the best of times so call me Ishmael?
[Chalky] Maybe I'm related to Raak, and am just unaware of the fact.
[CdM] Three guesses in one question? NO, none of those. *tumultuous applause, nonetheless*
A 19th Century novel?
[irach] C19? YES.
"Happy families are all alike;"
[Chalky] Small version of Olive from On the Buses? NO.
So, an opening sentence, then?
[CdM] Dark and stormy? NO.
Ah. In that case the applause presumably means the author is Austen or Dickens or Melville?
[CdM] Another sneaky three-guesses-in-one question? YES.
"Barkis is willing ..."
... as the audience laughed and applauded the 'is it positive?' question
Dickens?
[Chalky] Barkis? NO
[Tuj] Dickens? YES.
What the Dickens?
From Oliver Twist?
[GL] Shakespeare, Merry Wives, III, ii? NO
[INJ] OT? NO
'something will turn up' as in The Micawber Principle
From A Christmas Carol?
[Chalky] Turn up for the books? NO
[FGZstar] Bah Humbug , coffin-nail, surplus population, God bless us etc.? NO
From a book with the name of a character in the title?
[INJ] Nobody's name in the title.
Incidentally, I am at this moment standing in the room in which Dickens wrote parts of Oliver Twist, but not the work in question. The next room contains the desk at which (it says) Dickens wrote his last words. I assume they mean his last published words.
(There is a continual loop of As Long As He Needs Me sung by Shani Wallis playing upstairs. Classy.)
From one of Dickens' non-fiction works?
[FGZstar] Uncommercial Traveller et al.? NO
Was the book ever made into a film?
[FGZstar] Filmed? YES.
It is a far far better thing that I do?
(figuring that at least counts as positive)
YES! We have a winner. The words on the card are simply A far, far better thing. *tumbrils and drums roll; Projoy hands CdM a knitting needle*
(And to think, we're not even related!)
I knew that one ages ago, but I didn't want to discourage the others by 'guessing' it.
[INJ] Daddy?
Yeah. Me too.
Oh damn, that's let the cat out of the bag.
OK. This is MINERAL with ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS
A discrete object?
The Sword In The Stone?
Discrete object? Discrete Yes, object No.
Previously sized (ex-calibre)? No.
Actually, I am not 100 percent sure if I would call it discrete; it depends on how tight a definition you are applying. It is, however, specific, if that helps.
Involving a gemstone?
Gemmy? No.
Solid?
A geographical feature?
Bigger than an average breadbox?
Begins with P?
Positivity
Solid? Yes.
Geographical feature? In the broad sense of the term, Yes.
Bigger than a breadbox? Yes.
Begins with P? Yes.
A specific region (such as a country or smaller)?
Portsmouth?
Located on land?
Feature of a desert?
Noticing that there's no veg.
Specific region? No.
Portsmouth? No. (Nor Plymouth)
Located on land? Yes.
Desertish? No. (There might be some vegetable as well, depending on the exact interpretation of the words on the card, but any vegetable is inessential and unhelpful. Note again that i am using a fairly broad definition of "geographical feature".
In a specific part of the world?
In a specific part of the world? Yes.
Is it man-made?
Some argue that deserts are man-made, eg Basildon.
In the Americas?
Man-made? Yes.
In the Americas? Yes. *a few audience members who have been looking puzzled since the round began now look a little less confused*
Unique?
Made in the Americas?
More than 100 years old?
Unique? Yes.
Made in Americas? Yes.
More than 100 years old? Yes.
Norths Americas or Souths Americas?
er, I mean, Norths Americas?
Centrals Americas?
A ruin?
Panama Canal?
Teotihuacan?
Norths Americas? Yess.
Centrals Americas? N0.
Ruin? No.
A man a plan? No.
Teotiwhathesaid? No.
A dam?
Dam? No. (I'm getting a bit worried about my geographic feature answer. Let me just say you would find it on a map of non-ridiculous scale.)
Transport-related?
Transport-related? Yes (at least technically).
You can probably find the answer on the card without exploring the abstract element, but I will say that it is significant.
is it a landmark?
Landmark? *some audience applause* Not exactly. Or sort of. It depends again on how broadly you are prepared to define the term.
Has it a function, from a human perspective?
A feature of an Air Traffic Control map?
Is it the sort of landmark you might mention when you were giving someone driving directions?
But is it art?
Functional? Yes.
Air Traffic Controlling? No.
Driving clue? You certainly might mention it when giving directions, but again I'm not sure I want to call it a landmark.
Art? *some laughter* No.
A quarry?
Is its area greater than, say, St Paul's Cathedral?
A border of some kind?
In the USA?
A certain road junction?
Possibly the new jersey turnpike?
Quarry? No.
Bigger than a Paul? I'm not sure. They are not easy to compare, and my very rough calculations have too large a margin of error to be sure. Plus the boundaries of the answer on the card are not completely clear. I suspect I might be able to make a case either way.
A border? No.
In the USA? Yes.
Counting the cars on the NJT? No. (but *two waves of applause*)
To do with transport?
A city boundary?
To do with transport? Is that distinct from Rosie's earlier question? :-) I say again, in a technical sense it is certainly to do with transport, though that's not what comes particularly to mind.
A city boundary? Is that distinct from Chalky's earlier question? :-) No.
A rubbish dump?
Is it, or a part of it, roofed?
A rubbish dump? No.
Partly roofed? Again, that might depend partly on interpretation, but the best and least confusing answer is No. Or I could just say that, if it is, you're doing very well. *audience laughter*
Geographic feature reredux. By the Wikipedia definition this definitely is a (man-made) geographical feature.
Is it, or are parts of it, underground?
Underground? No.
Coastal?
Coastal? Nothing essentially coastal about it as such, but it is located very close to the coast.
Route 66?
Near the West Coast?
Route 66? No.
West Coast? No.
In a Southern State?
The Statue of Liberty?
The doughnut hole?
In the south? No.
Statue of Liberty? No. (Begins with P, remember)
Doughnut Hole? No. (I have no idea what you are referring to. Although I think I might actually have set "A doughnut hole" as an answer in this game some time back.)
In a State beginning with "N"?
From the great state of N—? Yes.
On, or in the immediate area around Manhattan?
Manhattanish? No.
In New York State?
From the great state of New Y—? No.
In New Jersey?
Penn Station?
I'm confused. I could have sworn I answered FGZ*'s question three hours ago. Maybe I previewed but forgot to stand. Anyway...
In New Jersey? Yes. *no applause from the audience, since at this point it was either NJ or North Carolina*
Penn Station? No. (I think a fair amount of that is underground.)
Keep in mind that the abstract element is significant.
OK - Is the abstract element connected with music?
Connected with music? No. To be clear, I'm sure you can mechanically work your way to the answer without thinking about the abstract element. But the answer would be uninteresting without it.
Is this connected with a particular event?
Does it appear in a work of fiction?
(I'm sure New Hampshire has a bit of coast too)
Pier A?
Connected with a particular event? No.
Appear in a work of fiction? I suspect that, in its abstract sense, it has appeared in several works of fiction, and in its non-abstract sense it might have as well. I know of no specific examples, though; I'm just guessing. In other words, appearing in a work of fiction is not its claim to fame.
[re New Hampshire} You are of course right. My bad.
Pier A? No.
Is it in or near Atlantic City?
In Atlantic City? Yes. *loud applause*
Park Place, as in Monopoly?
(part of which is "roofed", but which I guess has probably too much to do with transport to be right)
Park Place is the correct answer! I had lots of trouble with what seemed like simple questions on this one; sorry. I wasn't sure where to think of the boundaries (is it just the street, or does it include buildings?). And I didn't mean to mislead on the transportation question, but looking back I can see that perhaps I did suggest less of a connection than I should have. I think I was too focused on how small a street it is, and the fact that it doesn't really go anywhere...

*collects $200*
Well, seems appropriate as I did slightly monopolise the questions at the end, there.
The next is ABSTRACT (Yes, sorry, another abstract but everyone will definitely have heard of it and many will have first-hand knowledge)
A medical condition?
Connected with the arts?
Hmm. I did have a Rosie-like moment at that answer. It's only after the fact that I've discovered the Atlantic City - Monopoly link (that makes the question worthwhile from my pov). On my own I'd probably have needed another half-dozen questions to get there.
[Chalky] Medical condition? *gales of delighted audience laughter that doesn't subside for about a minute* NO. Altho some might link it to one's state of health.
[INJ] Arts-connected? NO.
I had known the Atlantic City/Monopoly link (I used to work in a toy museum and an original Monopoly board was part of the standard tour) but must admit I had assistance from the internet to remind me after all these years, and also to find out the names of the squares.
An emotion?
[audience] Bring it on - more delighted laughter - see if I care ..
Related to sex?
[Chalky] An Emotion? *hollow laughter from members of audience* NO, but again, could be linked to...
[Raak] Sex-related? *man shouts "No!"; another minute's merriment* YES.
([CdM] PS. If you take a shufti on Google Earth, you'll see that a stretch of Park Place is indeed roofed over by an upper floor of the casino/hotel building.)
Is this gender related?
[audience] Do your worst ...
[Chalky] Genderelated? NO, altho some might argue otherwise.
Is it a physical sensation?
[cfm] Physical? *wag in audience calls "it is for me!" followed by much laughter* NO.
Begins with P?
Gosh, they're a rowdy lot in tonight!
*blatantly playing to the audience* Is this a double-entendre?
*also blatantly playing to the audience* Have you experienced it recently?
{Projoy] I'd looked at Park Place on Google Earth when I first set the question, but didn't notice (or forgot) the fact that part of it is indeed covered.
[INJ] Obviously, without the Monopoly connection it is just a random small street in America. I didn't expect people to know the entire board in the US version, but I thought most people would have come across references to Boardwalk/Place Place (the most expensive properties). I think I had heard of them even before I lived in the US, and I know I've seen several references over the years. I would have picked Boardwalk, but it doesn't begin with P.
[Tuj] P? NO
[Chalky] A double-entendre? *audience completely silent* NO.
[CdM] Have I experienced it recently? *a few titters* YES.
Marriage?
[Raak] Marriage? *much applause* NO.
Civil Partnership?
As opposed to large numbers of uncivil partnerships
[INJ] In-all-but-name? NO.
Is it a custom or ritual related to sex?
[cfm] I think you could call it a custom, but not a ritual.
Is it related to seduction?
Foreplay?
[cfm] Seduction-related? Best answer is probably NO, altho you could make a link.
[FGZstar] Related to foreplay? *wag in audience calls out "I should be so lucky!"; more laughter*. Real answer: IT COULD BE (but not intrinsically).
Connected with food or drink?
Birth control?
[jim] Nosh and Slosh? NO.
[cfm] Birth control? *laughter* NO.
[cfm] But there is a defensible YES answer, on reflection.
Dating?
Contains the letter x, q or z?
Contains the letter a, e, i, o, u, w, or y?
[Raak] Dating? NO!
[Giertrud] Consenting to answer could set a dangerous precedent for this game, resulting in all subsequent clues being limited to a maximum 26 questions (possibly a logician could explain how it could be less), but anyway, NO, contains none of those.
[CdM] YES.
Abstinence?
[cfm] Abstinence? *sustained applause* YES, but that's not The Answer.
Virginity?
I know it's not right. I just want to hear the audience reaction.
[CdM] Virginity? *audience don't react much* NO.
Any connection to religion?
Nuns, perhaps?
[FGZstar] Religious Connection? HM. The obvious answer is YES, but the connection is not intrinsic - you can have religion without this and this without religion.
A vow of celibacy?
[Raak] Celibacy vow? *more audience laughter* NO.
Sexual consent?
If it had teeth several of you would be bleeding by now...
[FGZstar] Consent to sex? NO.
Love?
Masturbation?
[FGZstar] Lurve? NO.
[cfm] Self-lurve? NO.
Tantra?
[CdM] Maithuna et al? NO (not something I've experienced, I have to say).
The karma sutra?
Getting Colder
[FGZstar] Kama Sutra? NO.
Is it an idea?
Monogamy?
[cfm] A kind of idea...
[CdM] A series of consummations between a specifc two people, to the exlusion of all others? YES! *hands baton back again* Your turn to go.
This is getting incestuous
Hmmm. I dismissed that because of the answer to 'Abstinence?', though I do see how you could give the answer you did. Examine your assumptions - as we keep repeating here.
Yes, I did think twice about that, but I couldn't see a way to deny that it was a form of abstinence (rather than, say, celibacy).
What, me again?
ANIMAL/ABSTRACT with an essential MINERAL connection
[CFM] you're kidding, right?
It doesn't feel right to be eavesdropping on cfm's interior monologues like this.
The Lady of the Lake?
Sorry, I was unable to suppress a wild and wet guess.
The Pittsburgh Steelers?
My shot in the dark begins with a P!
Samson in chains?
Activia yoghurt?
Human animal?
Fictional?
The Wicker Man?
Chalky?
Cave Paintings?
Burial at Sea?
An iron fist?
Is it presently or was it once alive?
[CDM] Funny. *checks to make sure name is correct this time*
"What would the world be, once bereft/of wet and of wildness? Let them be guessed"? No.
Steelers? No.
Yoghurt? No.
Human? Yes.
Fictional? No (though there is actually a fictional connection, which I learned only today)
Wicker Man? No.
Chalky? No.
Cave paintings? No.
Burial at sea? No.
Iron fist? No.
Presently/once alive? Yes and yes.
Samson? No.
Male?
Born in the Americas?
Male? Predominantly.
Born in the Americas? Not particularly, I don't think.
A group of more than 10 people?
More than 10? Yes. They are a group if you interpret the term loosely.
Is this 'group' linked by a common cause?
>1000?
Common cause? Sort of.
>1000? Yes. I will note, though, that it is hard to give a precise definition and It's nigh on impossible to count exactly how many people are in the group.
Priesthood?
Are these people known to belong to this group (i.e. likely to avow it publicly?)
Priesthood? No.
Public avowal? Hmmm. I don't think most members of this group hide the fact, but membership of this group is not viewed particularly positively.
Are they secretive?
Connected with politics?
Are they collectors of something?
Secretive? Sometimes, but not necessarily
Connected with politics? Occasionally, but not necessarily
Collectors? No, except in a very loose sense.
To do with health?
Masons?
Health-related? No.
Bricklayers? No.
Are members of this group more likely to be in a specific age bracket?
Specific age bracket? Not really. They will almost all be adults (though some might be a bit younger, I suppose), I doubt that there are that many old people, and I'd guess most are young to middle-aged, but that might just reflect my ignorance or my stereotyping. I doubt if there is reliable demographic information available for this group, so I am just guessing.
Do members join this group by choice?
Choice? Yes.
Just as a reminder, there is a mineral connection that you could pursue if you wish. Or not.
Connected with sport?
Is the mineral something that these people have to 'wear'?
Connected with sport? Occasionally, but not necessarily.
Something that people have to wear? No (unless you go with extremely liberal interpretations of "have to" and "wear").
Are they all fans of something particular?
Is the mineral, however voluntary, what makes a person part of this group?
Fans of something particular? *cynical laughter from the audience* No.
Does the mineral make them part of this group? No. The mineral component is necessary but definitely not sufficient to make someone be part of this group.
(With my usual habit of second-guessing my own answers, I want to downgrade my "sort of" answer to the "common cause" question. Obviously this group have something in common, but it is not really a cause.)
Do they all oppose something particular?
In opposition to? No. (Or at least that is not their defining characteristic. I can think of certain things that I suspect most would oppose, but I doubt if that is helpful to you.)
Is there an element of criminality in what these people do?
Are these people donors of some kind?
Element of criminality? *audience applause for the question* There doesn't have to be, but sometimes there is -- and I think it is fair to say that there is also dispute over how much criminality is involved.
Donors? *more cynical laughter* No.
Is it topical?
Topical? Not particularly, as far as I am aware.
Concerning motorcycles?
Motorcycles? No.
Are they coders?
Or h4X0rz?
Computer security? No.
Trainspotters?
No, not illegal. How about taggers?
Anoraks? No.
Spray paint? No.
The mineral - is this a weapon?
Are they hunters?
The Glorious Twelfth? [the date you set this clue] the start of the Game Shooting Season?
A weapon? *more cynical laughter* No.
Hunters? *laughter and loud applause* No.
Glorious Twelfth? No.
Is the mineral connected with transportation?
To do with rioting?
Do they all do the same activity?
Transportation-related? No.
Riot-related? No.
All do the same thing? Yes, pretty much.
Buskers?
No, beggars?
Buskers, with or without music attached? No.
Is it a profession?
Is the mineral liquid?
Alcoholics
Profession? Yes (at least sort of).
Liquid? No.
Alcoholics? No.
Metal Detection enthusiasts?
Bottle tops on the beach? No.
I thought you were all getting close, but now you're getting colder. As a clue: the mineral connection is a specific item, and if you worked out what it is you'd be almost there.
Metal-detecting?
Oops, didn't notice Projoy just asked that.
A kazoo band?
A kazoo band with more than 1000 members? No.
Is the object made mainly of metal?
[Kazoo Band] Now, that I would pay to see. Actually, I'd pay to join it.
The audience at some event?
Is the activity a collective one?
The paparazzi?
Brass rubbers?
Mainly metal? No. (I think I would pay not to see a kazoo band.)
Collective activity? No,
Audience? No. *audience doesn't bother with hollow laughter because...*
Paparazzi? YES! The CdM-Projoy cycle is broken!
*hands baton to cfm, pulls collar up and hat down, and leaves by the fire escape*
[CfM, cdm] Are you two related?
[Projoy] Um, not as far as I know. But then I remember INJ was on these boards for a week or two before I knew who he was, and it took him longer than that to identify me.
*regards baton ambivalently* Has anyone been harboring a secret desire to be the answerer? All reasonable offers considered... Alternatively, would someone kindly tell me how to switch the italics off and on?
[cfm] <i>italics</i> and <br />
for a line break <br />
<b>bold</b><br />
<hr> gives you one of these lines:
[Projoy] Thanks, tried that but apparently I was tying in the wrong box.
This one, then is ABSTRACT.
Does it begin with P?
And if not, why not?
A human concept?
Connected with the arts?
(trad)
P? No, I'm afraid not. Does it ever?
Human? Yes, insofar as it is abstract.
Arts-connected? Sometimes.
*audience is outside having a smoke, apparently*
Specific to a particular culture?
Specific culture, no.
*audience shuffles back in slowly, smelling unpleasant*
[CDM, Projoy] Separated at birth perhaps? And do I gather that would also make me related to INJ?
Is the answer a single word?
Related to literature?
Short and sweet? It could be reduced to one, yes.
*ripple of applause*
Literature? No. But it has made an appearance in literature.
Related to emotions?
Connected with specific arts, when connected at all?
Emotions? DEFINITELY NOT! HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT?
Specific arts? I thought I had already specified. More clearly stated, it is sometimes connected with some arts. :-) Sorry.
Is your shouty reply [emotions] supposed to be some sort of clue?
Is there a musical connection?
Were you aware of this before the age of, say, 10?
Particularly associated with the Morniverse?
Clue? Yes, you could construe it as such. But mostly I was just being goofy.
Music? No. But it has made an appearance in music.
Age 10? Me? Yes.
Morniverse? Not as far as I know.
Is it an illness?
Did this exist before 1850?
Religious?
Is it something you can do?
(well, that one can do, I mean)
Illness? No.
Before 1850? Yes.
Religious: No.
An activity (if I understand the thrust of your question correctly)? No.
Is it something one can be?
Is it some kind of theory or law?
To be or not to be? No, except in a metaphoric sense.
Theory or law? No.
Is the one word with which this can be expressed a noun?
Parts of speech? Yes, one may employ it as a noun.
A proverb?
Proverb? In one word: no.
Would it still exist if you were the last person on Earth?
Last person? Yes. Interesting question. :-)
Is it related to a natural phenomenon?
[cfm] Didn't seem to help, mind ;)
Is it a force of nature?
[Tuj - I was previewing and noted your question. I probably mean the same thing - but will let it stand ..]
Related to a natural phenomenon? Yes.
Force of nature? Depends on how you define that. I'm going to go with sort of, but not in the same sense as a hurricane or flood is a force of nature.
Something you might learn about in Physics?
Related to something not on Earth?
Physics class? Yes.
Unearthly? Yes, it exists beyond this planet.
*sustained applause and a few hoots from the audience*
The Moon?
The Moon? No.
[Tuj] Though this wasn't strictly part your original question, let me add that it is also exists on earth.
Perseid Meteors?
Gravity?
[Chalky] Surely the Moon's mineral, not abstract? I didn't know there was such a thing as a Moon-denier, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised ;)
Can I ask for a clarification on your "human concept" answer?
This has come up in the past -- different people interpret the term in different ways. My working definition of a human concept/construct is that it is something that would not exist if there were no humans. So, for example, "postmodernism" is a human construct, but "an elliptical orbit" is not, even though I would classify both as abstract. So -- by this definition, is it a human concept/construct?
Human concept? [CdM] By your definition, I don't think it is a human concept.
Meteors? No. Gravity? No.
Is it the concept of space itself?
Space itself, no.
A vacuum?
To do with time?
Is it visible?
A vacuum? No.
Timely? No.
Visible? Yes.
*audience visibly perks up and applauds*
Specific to a solar system?
Singular solar? No.
Sunshine?
Sunshine? No.
*audience applauds anyway*
Somewhere over or under a rainbow?
The visible spectrum?
Spectrum: No.
*audience, however, is visibly enthused*
[cfm] No response to my rainbow answer above?
Aurora Borealis/The Northern Lights?
Aurora Australis?
No, not specific to a solar system... so... is it the name of a color?
[Irach] Apologies. Rainbow: No, nor the song lyric.
Aurora x 2: No.
Color name: i am gping with sort of. And you are almost there.
Daylight?
Transparency?
Daylight: Again very close, and a component of daylight
Transparency: No, you were warmer before.
And I'm going to revise my answer on color name and say, yes, this is an element of the abstract concept I had in mind, if not the thing itself.
Red Shift?
Red Shift: No. [PJ] Your circling it. But it's simpler than that.
A blue moon?
Light itself?
Light itself: no. But light is involved.
ultraviolet light?
(although that is not in the visible spectrum, I know...)
Does the word 'wheel' appear on the card?
I fear I am not so good at this game.
Wheel? No.
Ultraviolet? No, not ultra-anything. Nice and simple. A ten year old gets it.
Does the letter string "light" appear anywhere in the answer?
The Blues?
Daybreak?
Letter string? No.
The Blues? *audience sits forward in its collective seat* No, it isn't music.
Daybreak? No, not a time of day. But it might make an appearance at daybreak.
Bluesky [thinking]?
Nah. How about Starshine?
Bluesky: No
Starshine: No
I have observed by reading past rounds that others do this -- so I will summarize some of the more interesting information your questions have revealed:
It can be expressed as one word.
It can be used as a noun. I will add that it can also be used as an adjective.
It is visible.
Light is involved.
You might learn about it in physics class.
It is sometimes related to some art.
A ten year old gets it -- I will add that I know two year olds who get it too.
"The name of a color" is an element of the abstract concept but not the thing itself. I will add that it is not the name of something -- but of course it has a name.
My shouted reply could be construed as a clue.
Feeling Blue?
Dysthymia: No.
Does it relate to a specific color?
Seeing Red?
Sky blue pink?
A shadow or shade?
(Which I don't think is right as it fails the grammatical test, but interested in audience reaction)
Sunshine?
Seeing red, sky blue pink, etc:
I'm going to give the baton to INJ. But perhaps Projoy should have it. The word on the card is simply "red." I got hung up on the philosophical distinction between the color itself as a physical phenomenon and the name that we give to the color. I ended up giving a misleading answer on PJ's "name of a color" question. Apologies all around -- I'm new to this. I should have watched longer before accepting any batons.
Fair enough, and I think outside of the name of a color q you answered the questions pretty fairly (altho I think I might have been entitled to at least a few claps from the audience for "red shift", tho!).
[PJ] Agree, I was not so good at channeling the audience, either. :-)
*offers compensatory applause and the baton* Do you want the baton, then? Or is it INJ's?
[cfm] Up to INJ, I guess.
Well, provided that you promise to guess it before Friday lunchtime, after which I turn into a pumpkin, I'll have a go.
This one is mostly MINERAL with ANIMAL connections
Is it a discrete object?
A building or edifice of some kind?
A flying start
[PJ] Discrete - YES
[CdM] Building /Edifice? - YES
Constructed before 1800?
Constructed before 1945?
Is it an aquarium?
Constructed after 1792?
Architecturally significant?
i.e. Is it significant enough that you would imagine architecture students studying it?
[CdM] Pre 1800? - Not telling
[PJ] Pre 1945 - NO
[cfm] Fishy? - NO
[GLogin] Post 1792? - I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answers
[FGZstar] Significant? - Probably - not sure how I would know.
A statue?
Are there often more than 50 people inside it?
Is it a building for people to work in?
Built after 1975?
Built in the modernist architectural style?
[Tuj] statuesque? - NO
[CdM] Contains multitudes? - YES small reaction from audience
[Raak] Place of work? - YES
[PJ] Built post 1975? - NO a few whispered conversations in the audience
[FGZstar] Modernist? - Hmmm Modern YES (at the time) but probably not modernist. I may come back to this.
A government building?
Open to the public?
[Raak] Governmental? - NO
[PJ] All and Sundry? - YES *a few chuckles*
A Square?
Is it in Europe?
Still standing?
Could it be referred to as an 'institution'?
Is some service provided there?
Does it charge an entrance fee?
[Software] Equilateral rectangle? - NO
[Raak] European? - YES
[PJ]Still There? - NO *large amount of audience unrest*
[FGZstar] Like marriage? - NO
[cfm] Service Provision - YES *a small ripple of applause*[GL] Entrance fee? - NO *a few more chuckles*
[INJ] Did the functions of this building subsequently transfer to a different site/ a newer building?
+ italics.
The Milennium Dome (or whatever it's called now)?
+l
[PJ] Moved/Rebuilt? - YES (one or the other) *proper applause*
[Raak] O2? - NO
N.B. The architectural style was not described as modernist in Wikipedia, but it was fairly aggressively modern when built.
Begins with P?
The British Library?
Ah, no. Wrong dates. Is it something to do with broadcasting/media?
Just for the avoidance of doubt, are we talking about a building built between 1945 and 1975, subsequently demolished and its functions transferred elsewhere?
Am I cheating by asking lots of consecutive questions?
What are you going to do about it if I am?
More than 6 storeys high?
Clarification: I asked "are there often more than 50 people inside it?" (present tense) and you answered yes. You also said that it is not still there. I just want to confirm that there is no contradiction in those answers.
[Tuj] Begins with P - NO
[PJ] This
[FGZstar] > 6 storeys? - NO
[CdM] Technically, I suppose, the answer should have been NO, but YES was a lot more helpful, for more than one reason
Has it been in Europe throughout its existence?
Was it German?
The London Stock Exchange?
Bleh - no, too tall. OK, *this* one is my question... was it demolished (as opposed to rebuilt)?
A station of some kind?
[PJ] As you said, not the British Library
Not connected to Broadcasting
built/demolished/functions transferred elsewhere? - 2 YESes and a NO
Is it connected with health?
So it wasn't demolished per se?
[Raak] Always European? - YES
[GL] Deutsch? - Neither is, nor was
[PJ] Demolished? - YES - but that doesn't mean it wasn't rebuilt
[FGZstar] - Stationary? - NO
[cfm] Health related? - NO *some chuckles*
[PJ] To clarify, since you've asked enough questions to get the picture. It was built, demolished and then (sort of) rebuilt on the same site - so the functions weren't transferred elsewhere.
Did the functions of this building exist prior to its being built -- in other words, did it also replace some other building or part thereof?
Rebuilt after 1985?
Does the rebuilt building have the *same* function as the one it replaced?
(I'm thinking building replaced by museum, or something of that sort.)
Is it in Britain?
[CdM] Antecedents? - There was previous building on the site, some of which performed a similar function
[PJ] Rebuilt post-1985? - YES
[CdM] The king is dead? - YES
[Raak] British? - YES *applause*
Rebuilt since 2005?
Is it a collection of buildings rather than a single building?
(paying careful attention to the article that did not bark in INJ's previous answer)
[PJ] Rebuilt since '05? - NO - I'll tell you, since I don't think it will help, rebuilding was completed in 2003. You probably don't know it was rebuilt at all.
[CdM] Collection of buildings? - Before the first incarnation: YES. The actual answer is more a question of definition, but was certainly designed and built as a whole.
A clue: the animal connection will confirm to you that you have the right answer when you think of it. It's not just that this is a building with people in it.
In Greater London?
A zoo?
[PJ] Lahndahn? - NO
[Raak] Zoo? - NO
A stately home?
Ashton-under-Lyne Station?
I just googled "rebuilding was completed in 2003".
[Raak] 'Brutalist' stately home? - NO
Ashton-u-Lyne? - NO
In the North of England?
(In the EU regions North East, North West or Yorkshire & The Humber if you need a precise definition)
Can a random individual drive/walk up to this building and enter it unchallenged without invitation or other form of permission?
I know you have already indicated that it is open to the public and that there is no entrance fee, but I am trying to establish if there are any impediments to general entry.
[PJ] In t'grim regions? - NO
[CdM] Anyone anytime? *some laughter* - Since I'll be incommunicado this weekend (no phone, no TV, no shops, in fact no road) I'll give a fuller answer. The building was not open 24/7, but when it was there were no impediments to entry - somewhat the reverse if anything.
A further hint.
If you establish either exactly where this was/is or what its purpose was/is then I think getting the answer from there will be pretty trivial.
The (original) Birmingham Bull Ring Centre?
I'm pretty confident that's correct, actually, given what INJ said about the animal connection. Oddly, I thought of Covent Garden several days ago. but never made the jump to think about other commercial areas.
Just in time
And we have a winner.
It is indeed The Bull Ring Centre (not to be confused with its 2003 successor the Bullring Centre which is a collection of buildings at ground level).
Let me sell you a baton.
All right. this is best described as ABSTRACT with major ANIMAL connections, although I suppose you might be able to make a case that it is simply ANIMAL.
Black Beauty?
The Wildebeest migration in the Serengeti
OK, that's my random guesses done. Have a good weekend/long weekend everyone.
Are any of the animal connections human?
Begins with M?
Well, INJ got it in one, but since he's going away I'll pretend he didn't
Human? The animal connection I have in mind is human. It is possible -- I'd guess even probable -- that there are other animal connections, but I don't think we can know that for sure.
Begins with M? No. What a stupid question.
Dolly the sheep?
Is it a biological function?
Does the answer contain an L?
Dolly the sheep? No.
Biological function? Not exactly but sort of. *applause*
Hangman? There are two acceptable answers on the card. One contains an L.
an emotional experience or response?
Emotional? No.
a perceptual capability?
To do with medicine?
Begins with P?
Aw, shucks.
Does evolution have a direct bearing on the answer?
That's more like it.
Perceptual capability? No. (But *a smattering of applause*)
To do with medicine? Best answer is No, though I can think of more than one indirect connection.
Begins with P? Yes. Indeed, both the acceptable answers begin with P.
Evolution-linked? No. There's presumably some connection, but it is not directly relevant.
do most people accept it as truth?
Accepted truth? It's not really something you would describe as true or not true, but it is hard to imagine anyone thinking it does not exist.
does it concern human/animal relationships?
Excuse me? This is a family game, you know.
Human-animal relationships? No. It concerns neither human relationships nor animal relationships, nor human-animal relationships.
*shakes head*
a behavior?
A behavior? No.
Is it an -ism?
can it be correlated to intellect? physical prowess?
isitism? No.
Correlated to intellect? No.
Correlated to physical prowess? No (except occasionally in some indirect ways).
is it influenced by geography?
Influenced by geography? No (at least not in any ways that I can think of or know of).
Related to time or the passage of time?
This is turning into a two-person game
Maybe other people will be back from holiday soon...
Related to time? No.
An action?
An action? No.
A scientific concept?
Scientific concept? I think the best answer is No, unless you take a broad view of the term. Let's put it this way: it would exist without science, although science has certainly analysed it.
Just as gentle reminders, there was at least some audience reaction to "biological function" and "perceptual capability".
Hmmmm. Then perhaps it's somewhere between a biological function (suggests something pretty much unconscious) and a perceptual capability (which could suggest something too conscious)? Is it a physical sensation / experience? Is it a conscious experience at all?
Generous answers to double questions
Physical sensation? Yes. *loud applause*
Conscious experience? Depends which sense of "conscious" you intend. It is an experience of which one is aware, but it is rarely deliberate (I suppose it could be, but it's hard to imagine why.)
Borborygmus?
pins and needles or paraesthesia?
cfm did all the hard lifting, but Chalky has it! One tingly baton passed over.
Thank you both - for your pertinent questions [cfm] and your magnanimous replies [CdM].

It's been a while since I've occupied the hotseat - - -
I hope I can do it justice with this MINERAL/ABSTRACT

Is it fictional?
The One Ring?
Made of Stone?
A particular object (fictional or not)?
The sword in the stone?
[Tuj] Is it fictional? NO
[jim] The One Ring? NO
[Gusset Login] Made of Stone? If you mean generic stone - YES, partly
[Raak] A particular object (fictional or not)? YES - altho' beware use of the term 'object'
[FGZstar] The sword in the stone? NO
Would this have been a dividing line between territories (as defined at that time)?
[Dujon] Would this have been a dividing line between territories (as defined at that time)?
*audience perks up* Mmmm .. kind of - in a way. However, there are a couple of elements in your question that make assumptions that have not yet been explored :)
A monument?
A geographical feature?
[Raak] A monument? Certainly monumental - but don't let this mislead you.*audience nods knowingly*
[ImNotJohn] A geographical feature? YES *audience applause*
The Maginot Line?
(c) Wild Guesses R Us
A mountain range?
A peak in Darien?
Is it wet?
Niagara Falls?
*taming the wild*
[CdM] The Maginot Line? Nah
[ImNotJohn] A mountain range? Not entirely no - but mostly No
[Raak] A peak in Darien? Entirely NO :)
[Tuj] Is it wet? Probably not. *audience muttering*
[FGZstar] Niagara Falls? NO
In Europe?
[Tuj] In Europe? No and Yes
Remember - this has a dual definition
is it related to a border?
Is it in Turkey?
Is it extant?
[cfm] is it related to a border? YES it is, in the very broadest sense of the word 'border'
[Raak] Is it in Turkey? No and Yes
[Tuj] Is it extant? YES
Kurdistan?
Is it in Istanbul?
On an island?
[ImNotJohn] Kurdistan? probably Yes and No
[FGZstar] Is it in Istanbul? I should imagine Yes and No
[Software] On an island? Why not and No
*audience getting fidgety*

*nudge* This has dual definition MINERAL/ABSTRACT so what is Yes for one definition, may be No for the other ..
The surface of the earth?
Is the abstract sense metaphorical?
[ImNotJohn] The surface of the earth? NO but ... *audience perks up immediately and starts cheering*
[CdM] Is the abstract sense metaphorical? It *could* be metaphorical - yes. But a metaphor was not what sprang to mind when labelling it 'abstract'.
An earthquake fault line?
The Earth's crust?
[irach] An earthquake fault line? No
[Raak] The Earth's crust? No
Is the atmosphere in the amphitheatre somewhat atmospheric?
Is it a fence?
The horizon?
Is it to do with time zones?
[Dujon] Is the atmosphere in the amphitheatre somewhat atmospheric? Sorry - don't understand your question. :^D
[cfm] Is it a fence? NO
[ImNotJohn] The horizon? NO
[Raak] Is it to do with time zones? Not really, no
The high-water mark?
If I ask "is it in X?", where X is anywhere in the world, will I get the answers "Some variant of Yes" and "No"?
Begins with P?
[ImNotJohn] The high-water mark? NO
[CdM] If I ask "is it in X?", where X is anywhere in the world, will I get the answers "Some variant of Yes" and "No"? You will get the answer NO/MINERAL AND YES/ABSTRACT <~~~ BIG CLUE
[Tuj] Begins with P? None of the words on the card begin with P
Anything to do with the Moon?
Hoorah!
[Tuj] Anything to do with the Moon? EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE MOON!! * audience cheers and shouts and generally goes wild*

Now what is required is EXACTLY the right words on the card. No more. No less.
An eclipse of the moon?
Moonshine?
[Raak] An eclipse of the moon? Not exactly. There is a connection though.
[FGZstar] Moonshine? NO but good guess in that you have separated the Mineral and the Abstract, which is what was required.
Is it one of the twilight books/films?
The man in the moon?
Does the word "Cis" appear on the card?
The dark side of the moon?
Moonshine?
[FGZstar] Is it one of the twilight books/films? NO
[Raak] The man in the moon? NO
[Dujon] Does the word "Cis" appear on the card? NO
[Software] Moonshine? See my answer above

[jim] The dark side of the moon? Now - if you were a Facebook friend of mine, you would totally understand why I should choose that.
As you're not - more power to your guessing elbow, Sir!
DARK SIDE OF THE MOON - PINK FLOYD aka biggest selling/stayed in the charts longest Album ever.
Thank you, all guessers, for "ticking away the moments that make up a dull day ..."
*now wants to be FB friends with Chalky*
facebook
Please - you are welcome to join me, cfm - Kathy Davenport is my main facebook account name.
Chalky, this baton you've given me seems to be refracting the light in a weird way ...

I feel a little bit guilty winning with a random guess when my only other move in the game was another random guess right at the beginning, but these things happen I suppose.

I've not got a lot of time to play in this game at the moment, either, so I'll set a (I hope) simple one. This is simply ANIMAL.

Human?
One of us?
[Tuj] YES, human.
[Raak] Assuming that by "one of us" you mean somebody who is more or less active in the Morniverse, NO, not one of us.
A specific individual?
Alive?
Died in C21?
Osama Bin Laden?
A woman?
[Raak]YES, a specific individual.
[Tuj] NO, not alive.
[GL] NO, did not die in this century.
[FGZstar] NO, not OBL.
[cfm] NO, not a woman.
20th Century?
From Europe?
A political figure?
Dead by natural causes?
[Software] NO, not 20th century.
[Tuj] YES, from Europe.
[Raak] NO, not a political figure.
[FGZstar] NO, not dead by natural causes.
Unlawfully killed?
A scientist?
British?
[FGZstar]NO, not unlawfully killed.
[Raak] NO, not a scientist.
[INJ] YES, British.
Byron?
Dead by his own hand?
Died in a war?
A writer?
Did his death occur in 1964?
Executed?
Known for contributions to the arts?
[GL] NO, not Byron.
[CdM] NO, not a suicide.
[Raak] NO, did not die in a war (although these days, with everything being a "war on something or other", we might say otherwise).
[Tuj] NO, not a writer.
[Dujon] NO, did not die in 1964.
[FGZstar] NO, not executed (as we generally understand the term).
[INJ] NO, not known for artistic contributions.
Politician?
Begins with P?
Died violently?
[Software] NO, not a politician.
[Tuj] NO, neither of the names I will accept for this person begin with a P.
[Raak] YES, died violently.
Dies in the 20th century?
Roman?
A member of the aristocracy?
including royalty & nobility
Nelson?
Julius Ceaser?
[Raak] NO, did not die in the 20th century.
[FGZstar] NO, not Roman.
[INJ] NO, not a member of the aristocracy.
[Software] NO, not Nelson.
[GL] NO, and I'll tell you for free it isn't Julius Caesar either :)
Died accidentally?
Did he spend a lot of time in boats?
So it looks like: male, British, died (unnaturally) pre-C20, notable for as yet unestablished reasons...?
[Raak] NO, did not die accidentally.
[Tuj] YES, spent a fair bit of time on boats.
And violently. Don't forget the violently.
Was this gentleman a well known navigator?
Captain James Cook?
Just in case Dujon is right.
[Dujon] NO, in that although I'm sure he was involved in navigation, it isn't what leaps immediately to mind on hearing the name.
[INJ] NO, not Cook.
Alive in the 19th century?
Hmm - died violently, but not suicide, nor accidental, nor unlawfully killed, nor executed, nor in a war. What's left, I wonder.
Was he an explorer?
[INJ] NO, not alive in the 19th century.
That about sums it up, yes :)
[Raak] NO, not an explorer.
Died in a duel?
(they used to be legal, right?)
Does he have something notable named after him?
Died in the Great Fire of London?
Is he mainly known for his death?
[CdM] Like the duel idea - more generally it must be an action which was deliberate, but which he did not intend to cause his death.
[CdM] NO, did not die in a duel.
[Tuj] NO, nothing notable named after him (well, numerous stories based on his life and death, but nothing like I interpret your question to mean).
[FGZstar] NO, did not die in the Great Fire.
[INJ] NO, I should say not mainly known for his death.
I think you guys are a bit too focused on the death angle. It's somewhat important, but not necessary to figure out how he died to find out who he is. And it's not as unusual as you're making out given the circumstances. You might do better to try to determine what he's actually famous for.
Was he involved in any wars?
[Raak] I think the best answer I can give is PROBABLY he was involved in a war in some capacity. I shall add that the capacity in question is not directly what he's famous for but closely connected with it.
Archimedes?
Did he do something in the broad field of geography?
[Raak] I didn't know he was British ;)
Did he invent anything?
[Raak] What Tuj said, so NO :)
[Tuj] NO, unless you define the field very broadly indeed.
[Raak2] NO, he didn't invent anything that I know of.
I'll clarify: what he is believed to have done in wartime is essentially the same thing as what he is famous for doing, but under different circumstances. You might like to explore the angles from the last couple of YES answers.
Was he around before the 18th Century?
[FGZstar] YES, but he didn't become famous until the 18th.
I will clarify that: he was notable while he was alive, i.e. it isn't a case of some ancient person being (re)discovered in the 18th century or anything like that.
Was he involved with building things?
Was he known for his thinking/beliefs?
Is there a medical connection?
[Raak] NO, not involved in building.
[INJ] NO, not known for his beliefs.
[CdM] NO, no medical connection.
Summary
OK, we're looking for a British man, born in the 17th century, became famous and died in the 18th. He died violently, but not unlawfully (subsequent research suggests there might have been some doubt about the legality of the circumstances leading to his death, but that's probably misleading; he certainly wasn't murdered) although he was not executed, nor killed in a war or a duel, nor did he commit suicide or die in an accident. He is not mainly known for his death (although the manner of his dying is at least somewhat celebrated).
He spent a lot of time in boats, but was not a noted navigator or explorer. Nor was he a politician, scientist, writer, aristocrat or inventor, and he was not involved in the arts, construction, geography or medicine.
He is believed to have been involved in a war in some capacity closely connected with the way he became famous. He has nothing notable named after him.
Would his death be classed as justifiable homicide?
Was he known for breaking the law?
[jim] Ta for the summary, though it makes frustrating reading! Don't forget that his name doesn't begin with P.
A breakthrough
[Raak] YES, I should say justifiable homicide.
[Tuj] YES, he was an infamous lawbreaker.
Blackbeard?
We have a winnARRRR!
[Tuj] YES! Our mystery man was in fact the notorious pirate Edward Teach (or Thatch, or any of a variety of other creative 18th century spellings), aka Blackbeard.
He probably acted as a privateer during Queen Anne's War and subsequently turned pirate. Killed in battle in 1718; his Wikipedia article suggests that the governor of Virginia overstepped his authority by sending troops into North Carolina to attack the pirates, hence the doubtful legality.
One baton in the shape of a yard-arm with a severed head hanging from it goes to Tuj.
Time to draw a line under this
[jim] It was your answer to "begins with P", hinting at a pseudonym, wot dun it.
So! let's have a bit of

MINERAL

.
A famous jewel?
An relatively unknown jewel?
A shining example
NO and NO =)
It might as well be me who asks
Tell me, Master Tuj, this mineral object that you have chosen, would it happen to commence with the 16th letter of the standard English alphabet?
[CdM] INDEED 'TIS SO! And yea surely with such insightful queries from the outset ye are halfway there!
Is it radioacitve?
plutonium?
Praseodymium?
Does this mineral also have a number?
Pluto?
Radioactive? NO
Pu? NO
Pr? NO
Is this unknown item/items numbered? NO, not that I know of
Pluto? NO
Stone of some form?
Found in one particular location?
A unique object?
Man made?
Monday morning, straight down to business!
Stone? NO, though it surely contains some
In a particular place? YES *couple of disparate claps from the audience, and some talking*
Unique? YES ("object", maybe)
Man made? NO
Is it on, or part of, the Earth?
Is it wholly contained within a single country?
A geographical feature?
Be it Pluto?
Originality reaps reward
On or part of Earth? YES
In a single country? YES
Geographical feature? YES
Pluto? NO (again)
Larger than a supertanker?
Does it move around within the particular place that it is in?
Interesting questions!
Larger than? We always have trouble with these questions, don't we? I'm pretty happy to give a YES, though not uniformly
Moving around? EUGH um... in the sense you probably mean, NOT MUCH, though in a different sense the answer would be YES
Is water involved?
Are you sure it isn't Pluto?
A river - or part of one?
Watery? YES *audience applauds*
Pluto? ...still NO I'm afraid *audience all sit down looking disgruntled*
River or part of? YES! *standing ovation*
The Platte river?
In Europe?
Platte? NO
European? YES
Ding ding!
Po? YES!

Congrats GL, the baton is yours!
Ying tong tiddle i
Nice one GL - I was convinced enough you were correct not to bother with another guess.
[INJ] You could've asked if it was Pluto again ;)
[Tuj] Funny thing is, when I first read your answer to my question, I wondered if you were hinting at a two-letter answer. But then I forgot that idea...
Oh! I was right. Darn, now I have to think of something...

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL/MINERAL connection(s).
And I apologise in advance for the delays giving answers.
Is it from a work of fiction?
A Human Construct?
Connected to sport?
[CdM] Mua. Ha. Ha.
Is it 'asking if the answer is Pluto'?
Is it Pluto (the cartoon character)?
[INJ] Fictional? Yes
[FGZs] Conceptual? No
[Tuj] Sporting? Not known for it certainly.
[INJ2] Repeated Question? No
[CdM] Pluto the dog? I almost wish I'd thought of that. No.
An entity of some religion?
From a book?
[Raak] Close to God? No
[Tuj] Book? Not originally although books do exist that feature him/her/it/them.
A sentient being?
(Within the fictional construct, of course)
Post 1900?
[INJ] A sentient being? No. Although at least one, fictional, sentient being forms part of the answer.
[Softie] Post 1900? I assume you mean was the work of fiction first published/released/broadcast/exhibited/performed after 1900. In which case YES.
Originally from a TV series?
Is it now, or has it ever been, animated?
[Tuj] From the world of TV? Yes
[CdM] Animated at some point? Yes
From children's fiction?
Songebob's Square Pants?
Is the answer on the card the title of a programme?
[Raak] For the kids? Yes
[INJ] Spudgebob? No
[Tuj TV Title? Yes
Originating in the UK?
Does the title take the form "X and [the] Y", where X is the named sentient being?
James and the Giant Peach, Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons, that sort of thing.
[Tuj] British? No.
[jim] Sentient and the Other Stuff? No.
Sargeant Bilko?
A cartoon network production?
[Software] Bilko? No
[FGZstar] Carton Newtwork? No
Earth-based?
[Knobbly] Set on Earth? Effectively, although if you saw anything remotely like the main characters on the street you'd be a bit puzzled. With that in mind, I'll say Yes.
The Munsters?
The Addams Family?
Tele-tubbies?
[Soft] Munsters? No
[Chalk] Mr + Mrs Addams? No
[cfm] Eh-Oh? No
The Muppets?
Sesame Street?
The Magic Roundabout?
Only exists as animation?
[Software] Muppets? [Audience clap and cheer madly] No [Audience mutter restively]
[FGZstar] Open Sesame? No
[Raak] Magic Roundabout? No
[INJ] Only as animation? I was only aware of it as an animation but as I have already stated there are apparently books. So, primarily Yes.
Fraggle Rock?
Muppet character?
[INJ] Fraggle Rock? No.
[Software] Muppet character?
If you mean "Is the answer a character from the Muppets?" then No.
If you mean "Does a character from the Muppets appear in the show?" the Yes.
Bear in the Big Blue House?
Saturday Night Live?
Must admit to Googling
[FGZstar] Blue Bear's House? Nope.
[Software] Saturday Night Live? No
Summary: So far you know... The answer is the title of an animated TV series created outside the UK after 1900 by someone other than Cartoon Network. A connection to the muppets has been hinted at (although the muppets are not animated).
Any connection to Jim Henson (above and beyond the Muppets connection)?
[CdM] Connection to Jim Henson? Yes. (Whether it was more than the Muppet connection is hard to say, but he got a mention in the credits of every episode)
Muppet Babies?
[FGZstar] Jim Henson's Muppet Babies? YES Have a youthful baton
Right then, after very little deliberation, the next one is...
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
British, damn it?
Fictional Human(s)?
[SW] British? - NO
[GL] Fictional? - No, Human? - Yes.
MC-related?
[Tuj] MC Related? - NO
Alive?
European?
A specific individual?
[Raak] Alive? - Somewhat
[SW] European? - NO
[GL] Specific? - NO
Begins with P?
[Tuj] Begins with P? NO
Any supernatural connotations?
[INJ] Supernatural? NO
Also, I would like to say that, to avoid ambiguity in my answer to GL's last question, whilst this is not related to one specific individual, it is related to a specific group.
The Illuminati?
A 'terrorist' organisation?
[GL] Illuminati? - NO
[Dujon] Terrorist? - NO
A political group?
[cfm] Political? - NO
A group of Entertainers?
[GL] The Entertainers? NO
Is this particular group of somewhat alive humans a class/caste?
An attempt at 2 questions in 1, methinks...
[Dujon] Somewhat alive? - YES and NO
Class/Caste - NO.
It is an organisation?
[Raak] Organsation? - NO
Is it a symbol?
[Raak] Symbol? - NO
Relating to a particular profession?
[irach] Professional? - NO
Is there a link with education?
[GL] Educationally linked? - Only insofar as I came across this during my studies at uni, but otherwise NO.
Is it a group of humans, some of whom are alive, and some dead?
Clarification needed! To "alive?" you answer "somewhat", then when Duj says "somewhat alive?" you say "yes and no"!
Is this abstract thing, a property that people can have or not?
[Tuj] Yes, it is indeed a group of humans, some of whom are alive, and some of whom are dead.
[Raak] Abstract? No.
Are they from a particular location?
[Tuj] Particular Location? YES
For clarification purposes
My reference to 'somewhat alive' came from the Chair's response to Raak's much earlier question.
Please ignore my previous.
Thanks Tuj.
Is that particular location a town/city?
[Duj] My pleasure =)
Do they share an occupation?
Were they all involved in some event?
Clarification Required
This is an Abstract with Animal connections but not an Abstract?
Does the answer on the card describe a race of people?
[INJ] Shared occupation? NO
[Raak] All involved in some event? NO
[GL] Not Abstract? I apologise, but I seem to have been mistaken in my answer. Upon further thought, this is indeed a property which a group of people can have, although I would class it more of a description than a property.
A Nationality?
Nationality? Not quite, but similar.
Ethnic group?
Ethnic Group? - According to dictionary.com's definition of an ethnic group, YES.
Are they found in Europe?
[FGZ*] When answering INJ, Raak and GL above you missed one from me and one from Dujon.
Native North Americans?
Is there any dispute about whether this group of people exists?
Typically referred to as a tribe?
Kurds?
And/or whey
[Tuj] Town/city? Not a specific one.
[Dujon] Race of people? They are all generally of one race, but not a race in themselves.
[Tuj] Found in Europe? No
[SW] Native americans? No
[Raak] Disputed existence? Nope, they exist.
[CdM] Tribe? Not according to wikipedia
[Muffet Login] Kurds and/or whey? No
Well I think that's all.
Mormons?
Are they found in Africa?
Australian Abolrigenes?
(That should be" Aborigenes"...)
[SW] Mormons? -NO
[Raak] Africans? - NO
[irach] Aborigines? No, and it's not Abolrginies or Aborigenes, either.
In the Americas?
American? NO
Ainu?
Ainu? NO
Do they share a religion or religious tradition?
[irach] Shared Religion? - YES
On the Indian subcontinent?
Is the ABSTRACT thing we are looking for, a religion?
Indian Subcontinent? NO
Religion? NO
So! Are they in Asia?
Anything to do with shamanism?
[Tuj] Asia? - Yes!
[Raak} Shamanic? - No
Tibetan?
Shias or Shiites?
[Raak] Tibetan? - NO
[irach] Shias or Shiites? - NO
Bhutanese?
Do these people have some key identifying characteristic that we have not yet isolated?
[irach] Bhutanese? - NO [CdM] Key characteristics? - NO, but there are probably some minor ones that would narrow down the search.
From the Far East in Asia?
Far East? According to wikipedia, YES
Mainly or totally within China?
Japan?
China? Japan? NO
South-East Aisa?
that is, S.E. Asia?
Southeast Asia? YES
To do with Myanmar?
On an island?
Rather than continental SE Asia
Myanmar? NO On an island? YES and NO.
Pertaining to Malaysia?
Malaysia? YES and NO
Babas and Nyonyas?
Is the abstract a behaviour shared by these people?
[CdM] Babas and Nyonyas? NO
[INJ] No, the abstract is related to architecture.
(Although a clue isn't called for, I didn't want you to all start questioning about the abstract when you are so close already)
Is the architecture in question religious, e.g. a pagoda or stupa?
The architecture can be religious, but not exclusively.
Stilt-house dwellers
Although that's not restricted to parts of SE Asia
Stilts do feature in the architecture, but are not the most distinctive part, and as you said stilts are not restricted to SE Asia.
Hidden textActually, they are used throughout hot, humid climates, where ventilation is the only effective cooling method
A kampong?
A kampong? No.
A kelong?
Gotong royong?
Neither of these.You must surely be close. Would it help if I told you that there's one word on the card?
Rukun?
Runkun (as in pillars}? Nope, although pillars do feature. I am looking for the people which give the name of the architecture, not the architecture themselves.
[FGZstar] Rukun as in the Indonesian concept of "mutual adjustment". Presumably not, nor will it be tolong-menolong, adat, bayanihan, or العرف.
[Raak] You presume correctly.
We seem to have run to a halt. Time for a clue?
Okay, Clue time. The word on the card is also the name of an international air port. The word is the name of a 'people' with a distinctive style of architecture which responds passively to the microclimate of the area.
Is the airport in Indonesia?
Minangkabau?
OK, I assume that's going to put this question out of it's misery (if it's not right you won't hear from me again on this one). Frankly, without the clue it could have gone on for several more weeks.
Minangkabau? YES! - Have a saddleback shaped baton.
Thank goodness for that!
OK, let's have something that shouldn't need Google, Wikipedia and several empty hours.

This one is VEGETABLE, possibly also ANIMAL and with ABSTRACT connections

Is the vegetable component a potato?
Animal =Human?
Mr. Potato Head?
Edible?
[FGZ*] Yeah, I'm afraid that one makes even me channel Rosie a little bit. It was pretty arcane; I lived in that part of the world for several years and had never heard of them. That could still have been OK if you had been a bit more helpful with your definition and answers, mind you. Part of the problem was that you told us we were looking for an ABSTRACT, but your answer was the people themselves; that had me confused for a while. And there were a few places where you could certainly have had the audience be more helpful. Finally, Raak was definitely on track when he mentioned Indonesia and adat, but you gave no hint at all that he was getting close. I don't mind obscure topics as such, but I think you have got to be willing to let the audience help out more in those cases.
[irach] Earth Apple? - NO
[FGZstar] human? - NO
[Raak] Kartoffelkopf? - NO
[CdM]Edible? - YES
Manufactured?
[Software] Manufactured? - YES or 'Can be', depending on your definition of the question. Shall we say it's 'made'.
A dumpling?
Does the "making" involve a physical cooking process involving heat, such as baking or frying?
This won't take long
[Raak] My leetle dumpling? - NO
[irach] Cooked? - YES
Is it associated with a fesetive occasion?
(festive)
[Raak] Festiveive? - YES *audience chants of 'Easy, Easy*
Mince Pies?
Christmas pudding?
There, that wasn't hard, was it?
[GL] MINCE PIES it is!
Of course, on reflection it's quite hard to get away without some animal (milk in the pastry), but much less so than for pudding or cake, when you're dealing with eggs and butter as well. I was thinking about the presence or absence of suet in the mincemeat.
Now, would you just like to pull one end of this baton?
OK. Keeping it simple. MINERAL
Metal?
Unique?
[INJ] Metal? Partly.
[Tuj] Unique? No.
plastic?
A household object?
[Raak] plastic? No.
[CdM] Household object No.
On reflection I think the answer to INJ question should have been "Mostly" rather than "Partly".
Valuable?
Decorative?
Manufactured?
[CdM] Valuable? Depends on your definition of Valuable.
[cfm?] Decorative? Not originally.
[INJ] Manufactured? Yes.
Heavier than a car?
Antique?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Heavier than a car? Uncertain, but probably not.
[Software] Antique? Yes.
[Tuj] Begins with P? Not on the card, but a less formal description might.
A piece of sculpture?
Is the metal wrought iron?
Ironbridge?
Contains moving parts?
[irach] A piece of sculpture? No.
[Raak] Is the metal wrought iron? Iron, Yes. Wrought, No.
[Software] Ironbridge? No.
[Rosie] Contains moving parts? Y...yes I guess.
Is this a "Heritage" contraption such as pit-gear, steam engine, guillotine etc?
[Rosie] "Heritage" contraption? I'm not sure I'd call it a contraption, but heritage is not an unfair adjective.
Is it a weapon?
[Tuj] Weapon? No.
Is there a large number of these things in the UK?
[Rosie] Are there a large number of these in the UK? Yes.
A skip? (dumpster for our friends across the pond)
Would you be surprised to find one of these indoors?
[Software] A skip? No.
[Tuj] Would you be surprised to find one indoors? Normally I would, Yes (except in a museum), but after the evening I've just had...
A suit of armor?
Is this in the form of a wheel?
[GL] 'A large number' is no different from 'A number' and thus is singular.
G'day, Rosie, and welcome back.
Are these found throughout the world?
[Rosie, GL, Dujon] I was going to agree with Rosie and Dujon here, until I looked it up. Certainly, in my writing to date, I have always treated "a number" as a singular object. But, to my surprise, Merriam-Webster's Concise Dictionary of English Usage has this to say (after noting that "all commentators agree" on essentially this idea):
The rule of thumb for this construction is stated succinctly by Bernstein 1977:
In general, a number takes a plural verb and the number a singular.
Evidence in the Merriam-Webster files shows that the rule of thumb is generally observed. Even when the sentence begins with there, a number of commands the plural verb. {example] An adjective like increasing or growing tends to emphasise the word number in its singularity, and results in rather more mixed usage. [examples] But even in these constructions, the plural verb is the more common.
My inclination would still be to treat Rosie's phrase as contained within standard English usage, but GL is certainly not incorrect; to the contrary, the usage he favours is apparently more standard.

So I learned something today.
Anything to do with transport?
(CdM) French avoids the problem, it seems. Many people would say "Are there large numbers of....." which strictly is rather illogical but I'd probably use it colloquially.
(Dujon) *snarls back* G'day. :-)
[irach] A suit of armor? No.
[Dujon] In the form of a wheel? No.
[CdM] Are these found throughout the world? No. But in more than one country.
[Rosie] Anything to do with transport? No.
Related to a certain religion?
Does it have a picture on it?
Used in construction?
[FGZstar] Religious? No.
[Raak] Does it have a picture on it? No.
[ImNotJohn] Used in construction? No.
Related to communications?
[INJ] Related to communications? YES.
Does it contain a power source?
A phone box?
[Raak] Does it contain a power source? No or not one you'd notice
[Tuj] A phone box? Yes A K6 Red Telephone Box (Mint Condition) to be exact.

Have a baton.
Whoops!
Let's try an ABSTRACT
Does it begin with B?
Is it from a work of fiction?
[CdM] Begins with B? NO!
[INJ] From a work of fiction? NO (though its precise origin is likely unknown)
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
[GL] Phrase or saying? YES!
Related to health?
Bless you?
[Tuj] K6, eh? Sounds very anorak and THG to me
Is it one question per player? Hope not...
[Rosie] Related to health? NO
[Softers] Bless you? THANKS. I mean NO
If not health, then wealth?
Does it contain a number or a numerical connotation?
[Rosie] Wealth? NO
[irach] Numerical? NO
An English saying?
A proverb or adage?
[Softers] English YES, saying NO (depends how you define these words, I suppose. It's certainly more of a phrase, though there are more appropriate terms for it as yet undiscovered)
[INJ] The proverbial? NO
Well, go-blimey?
An epithet?
A euphemism?
A metaphor?
Good guesses! But...
[Softers] Cockney stereotype? NO
[cfm] Epithet? NO
[FGZ*] Euphemism? NO
[GL] Metaphor? NO
A catchphrase?
A cliché?
[Knobbly] Catchphrase? NO
[Raak] Cliché? NO - BUT arguably it is becoming so through notoriety
Business-speak?
Has it been notably used in public life recently?
Is it a sound bite?
"This is no time for sound bites. I feel the hand of history upon me"
Related to information technology?
The audience awakes
[INJ] Business-speak? NO *some audience laughter, followed by a pause and a second bout of laughter which rapidly turns into "shh"-ing*
[Raak] Notably used? NO - not one use anyway, more a groundswell of ubiquity
[GL] Soundbite? NO
[cfm] IT-related? YES *audience applause; a few sounds of dissatisfaction*
Related to "social media"?
is it an acronym?
Penny dropping!
[irach] YES, I suppose so! *audience begins to clap*
[cfm] An acronym? YES *standing ovation*
LOL?
Ding ding ding!
[cfm] lol? YES!

Hope I didn't give too many clues, I'd got worried it'd be too hard... Congrats and good luck cfm!
[Tuj] Thank you. If my previous effort at twirling the baton is any indication, I will need it.
This one is animal, vegetable and mineral. And it has heavy abstract associations.
Begins with P?
[cfm] Don't worry, it gets easier the more you do it. It's taken me a very long time to find that out and take the plunge myself ;)
A form of paint?
[The hot seat] I try very hard not to win. My one and only stint in the seat which you now occupy was back in the days of yore. It was hard work. Good luck.
[Tuj] 'Fraid NOt. Try another letter.
[Dujon]Interesting! But NO.
The natural world?
Trying for a hole in one.
[Rosie] Naturally, NO.
The game of AVMA itself?
Unique?
The Universe?
Well, if you really want me to...
Begins with M?
Is the animal component human?
Is any of it edible?
[irach] Self-referential? NO
[INJ] One of a kind? NO
[Tuj] Twenty four more to go. NO
[CDM] We, the people? Hmmm. *audience collectively leans forward in seats* A qualified YES to that. Most frequently but not always. And never entirely.
[Raak] Culinarily significant? I suppose it is not beyond the realm of possibility. But it would definitely be frowned upon. (See animal component above.)
Anything to do with farming?
Family?
Geography?
[Rosie] Reaping and sowing? NO
{FGZsar]Family? *applause ripple ensues* YES as it relates to the abstract element.
[GL] A particular place? NO.
Chimpanzees involved?
Evolution?
[Rosie] Too much monkey business? MAYBE. I've no first hand knowledge that chimps are involved. But it is not out of the realm of possibility.
[FGZstar]More monkey business? NO
Is the vegetable component largely wood?
[CdM] Vegetable recipe? Typically some wood is involved. But not largely wood, NO.
Seasonal significance?
Connected to entertainment?
[Raak] Changes like the weather? NO
[CdM] Applause worthy? NO
One man and his dog, who went to mow a meadow?
Connected to a specific country or culture?
We are not getting very far here ...
Would you be surprised to find one of these indoors?
A zoo?
[Raak] *audience is surprised and sounds delighted* YES, there is an association with mowing.
[CdM] NO. Consider asking the opposite question.
[Tuj] NO, I would not be surprised. Some of these or parts of these may be found indoors.
[Rosie] NO.
Connected with sport?
*considered asking the opposite question -- but decided against it*
[CdM] Do you also eschew maps when you are lost? :-) NO.
Is the connection with mowing a figurative one?
[Raak] NO. It is literal.
Is the mowing connection due to some use of the product obtained (grass, straw, or something similar)?
[CdM] NO. The mowing is an end, not a means.
Are other activities equally connected?
Just a reminder to other players that while this is apparently linked to mowing it is not linked to geography or farming. (So the mowing is not on the ground and the mown items are not collected for sale or agriculture).
A haircut?
[Gusset Login] YES. Other activities are equally connected.
But perhaps I need to clarify my answer to the geography inquiry -- or at least your explanation of my answer, which may be misleading. It is not necessarily connected with a particular place (country, city, etc.) nor with a specific geographic feature (mountain, river, border.) I hope that helps.
[FGZStar] Tonsorial connection? NO.
A level playing field?
Would you advise us to keep pursuing the mowing link (or is it too peripheral)?
[Raak] *audience, which this evening appreciates irony, laughs* Metaphorically speaking I suppose, YES. But this thing is not a metaphor.
[CdM] YES, I do so advise.
A cricket pitch?
[Raak] NO. Not connected to sports.
A garden of some kind?
Was this thing invented?
[Rosie] Flowers & stuff? YES at times.
[Tuj] Conceived and executed? YES
A maze?
A tourist attraction?
[Raak] Amazingly, NO
[Rosie] Some are, YES
A park?
Is there a lawn involved?
[Software] NO, not recreational.
[Raak] YES, see mowing above.
Ok then, is it a lawn, and nothing but a lawn?
Is the word "garden" on the card?
A botanical garden?
[Raak] NO, the lawn is not the point.
[Tuj] NO, that word is not on the card.
[FGZstar]NO, the garden is not the point.
A monument?
[Software] A qualified YES. "Monument" is a related concept.
A cemetery?
Is it typically owned by one person?
[CdM] Cracking guess!
[CdM] DEAD right.
I believe this belongs to you?
*hands baton*
*inspects baton cautiously*
Um. Are batons usually this white? And, um, do they usually have these strange shaped bulges at each end?
This next one is MINERAL
Is the mineral metallic?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Told you it was a good guess!
Is the thing composed a single chemical element?
A manufactured object?
Metallic? No.
Begins with P? Of course it does.
Unielementary? No.
Manufactured object? That would be an odd phrase to use (neither word is really quite right), but Yes is certainly a better answer than No.
Oh, it is actually possible that this also has a minor vegetable component (I don't know for sure), but that is more likely to confuse you than help you. So forget I said it, OK?
Stone?
Stone? *smattering of applause* In part, Yes.
Does this not-exactly-an-object commonly exist/occur in the present day?
Unique?
A plinth?
A Pilaster?
A residue of a mining activity?
Does it commonly exist today? It exists today, but you can't say that it exists "commonly" because...
Unique? Yes.
Result of kissing flogth? No.
Pilaster? No.
Slag heap? No.
The result of human labours?
Men at Work? Yes.
A work of art?
A building?
Is it in Europe?
Is it in Asia?
Work of Art? *hollow laughter from the more cynical members of the audience*. No.
A building? No.
In Europe? Yes.
In Asia? No.
Another technical clarification and minor clue. The answer on the card is a single word beginning with P (usually preceded by a definite article). However, a slightly more formal/precise answer is two words, of which the second is the word on the card. I can also think of a more informal answer that I would accept; this coincidentally begins with P but does not include the word on the card.
A work of civil engineering?
Civilly engineered? Yes.
Generally regarded as an eyesore?
Site for sore eyes? That's probably a bit too strong. But you'd have to hunt pretty hard to find someone who would call it beautiful.
Portsmouth?
I must have my little joke. Please ignore.
Is it in the UK?
A work of engineered traffic circulation?
I'd say "Magic Roundabout" but I can't get a P into that.
Porstsmouth? No.
In the UK? No.
Traffic circulation? Yes. *applause*
The Périphérique or Boulevard Périphérique in Paris?
*standing ovation* Yes! It is indeed the Périphérique. An impressive leap, there.


So, irach, here is the baton ... now you just have to run around the BP once, and then you can set your next clue.
Merci beaucoup, mon ami!. Carrying the baton is a welcome change from my having to carry around le plume de ma tante all this time. I was helped, perhaps, by having browsed through a coolection of pictures of my 2008 trip to Paris just two days ago.

Anyhow, the next one is ANIMAL wth a strong VEGETABLE connection/connotation.
Sylvan ursine defaecation?
Is the animal component human?
[Rosie] No bear scat - sylvan or rural or urban.
[cfm] Yes, the animal component is human.
Alan Titchmarsh?
Is the human currently alive?
Begins with P?
Panda?
Single human or a group of humans?
[Cdm] Not Titchmarch.
[INJ]Does not refer to a single human.
[Tuj] Nope. No "P" at the beginning.
[Software] Not a panda.
[cfm] Pertains to a large group of humans.
Vegitarians?
Are these people all found in one country?
Connected with agriculture?
Are these people defined by their job?
[Software] Good guess, but no. The persons in question could be vegetarians, vegans, carnivores, omnivorous.
[Tuj] The words on the card pertain to some people ubiquitously distributed among the human race worldwide.
[INJ] Not connected to agriculture.
[Rosie] Not connected to agriculture.
[Rosie] (sorry) No, the persons in question are not defined by their job. [Clue] The words on the card pertain to a common characteristic of the persons involved.
People who can't stand Brussels Sprouts?
I believe there is a genetic component to this.
[INJ] Nothing to do with Brussels Sprouts or any other Brassica species.
Florists?
[Software] Not florists.
Anything to do with an allergy?
Okay--so there are two or more words on the card. Are all of the words required to identify the group?
Is the vegetable connection to a particular vegetable?
People who use walking sticks?
[Raak] Not an allergy.
[cfm] There are two words on the card. The answer is not an identifier of the group itself, but a particular characteristic possessed by all members of that group.
[CdM] Yes, the vegetable reference is to a particular species in the vegetable kingdom.
[Chalky] Not users of walking sticks, (or users of wooden crutches, or members of the Long John Silver Admiration Society with wood peg legs, or of the Geoorge Washington Emulation Society with wooden false teeth for that matter either).
Cauliflower ears?
You know how it is, you get an idea and either ask it directly or give it away for someone else
[INJ] Ruled out by the Brassica comment, I fear.
[INJ] Nope, due to to the Brassica comment as CdM indicates. However, the audience sits up in rapt attention at the nature of the response, and a few of them even applaud at the turn of events.
Is the characteristic acquired as the result of some activity on the part of such people?
Do people acquire the characteristic bty choice?
{Rosie] No. It is not acquired as a result of any activity on the parts of such people.
[cfm] No. Not that I know of.
Does the answer relate to an association of a body part to a vegetable?
Is the vegetable part a metaphor?
[INJ] Yes, it does relate to a body part with a vegetable kingdom association
[Raak] I guess one could refer to the association as metaphoric.
Is the vegetable a fruit?
That question just feels wrong.
Is the body part above the neck?
[GLogin] Yes, the vegetable is a fruit. (The audience goes bananas)
[CdM] Yes, the body part is in the general vicinity above the neckline.
Apple cheeks?
[Rosie] Very close, but no.
In additional clarification to my answer to CdM's last question, the body part is located above a typical or conventional garment neckline (perhaps not a turtleneck), and may therefore be inclusive of the neck itself.
Is the answer, in part, related to a particular tuber ?
The Adam's apple?
Well I don't think there's any point in guessing further.
[Dujon} Not a tuber.
{Raak}An Adam's apple its is! A banana in lieu of a baton is duly handed over.
The next is MINERAL.
Stone?
Unique?
Begins with P?
Suit of armour ?
[INJ] Not stone.
[GL] Not unique.
[Tuj] Not P-initial.
[irach] Not a suit of armour.
Nutritionally significant?
Would it fit in a postbox?
Consists of an alloy?
[cfm] Not nutritive.
[Tuj] Not puttable into a postbox.
[Dujon] The first yes! It consists of an alloy. [INJ] And on Googling to check that, I see that it can also be partly of stone, but is never wholly.
Brass?
Bronze
[Rosie] Not brass.
[irach] Not bronze.
Invar?
Stainless steel?
[GL] Not invar.
[Rosie] *pause fo google* Sometimes made from stainless steel.
BTW, "Alloy" is metallurgically correct, as far as I can see from Wikipedia etc., but possibly just a little misleading to anyone who isn't a metallurgist or industrial chemist (ret'd).
Is it utilitarian?
[cfm] Yes, utilitarian.
Is the 'alloy' naturally occuring (even though it might also be manufactured)?
[Dujon] Not naturally occurring.
A utensil?
A saucepan?
(Raak) I'm not a metallurgist but I'd say an alloy is any metallic mixture in which the minor component is metallic and deliberately added or not removed. So ordinary steel, minor component carbon, no, railway lines, 1% manganese, yes, and saucepans, duralumin (aluminium + a few percent copper) yes.
is the useful object commonly used in the present day?
[irach] Not a utensil.
[Rosie] Not a saucepan. According to the web, despite its elemental name, iron in all its engineering uses is an alloy with carbon and possibly other components. So that's what I went with.
[cfm] Used in the present day.
Does it sometimes have non-metallic parts as well?
[irach] Yes, see earlier answer "partly of stone".
Bigger than a toaster?
Used indoors?
(irach) It probably is a toaster.
[irach] Bigger than a toaster.
[Rosie] Not used indoors.
Agricultural connection?
[cfm] Not agricultural.
Connected with transport?
[INJ] Not connected with transport.
Connected with recreation?
[cfm] Not connected with recreation.
Currently batting 16 no to 4 yes and 2 partly.
Connected to telecommunications?
[irach] Not connected to telecoms.
Static?
Once it has been placed in its functional position, that is.
[INJ] Um...mostly static.
A piece of road "furniture"?
Static until someone drives into it.
Lamp post?
[Rosie] *applause* Yes, it is road furniture.
[irach] Not a lamp post.
Is this normally shaped in the form of a lens?
A lamp-post?
A Lamp Post?
Oh-Oh, Have we hit a 'lamp-post' loop?


Hang on, I think I can see the problem.
Pass me that Birmingham screwdriver.
*Clannggg!*

A post box?
There, that's better.
[Dujon] Not lenticular.
[Rosie,INJ] Not a lamp post, a lamp-post, or a Lamp Post. Nor even a lamppost.
[INJ] Not a post box.
a fire hydrant?
[cfm] Not a fire hydrant.
Garbage dumpster?
Bollards?
[irach] Not a dumpster.
[GL] Not a bollard.
A Bus Stop pole?
[irach] Not a bus stop pole.

More general questions might be more helpful.

Related to the energy industry?
If not a lamp-post, then a lamp-post?
Oh dear me, more haste less speed.
On the pavement, as opposed to in the road?
[Rosie] Could be in the pavement or the road.
[cfm] Not related to the energy industry.
[Rosie] Not related to lighting fixtures.
Manhole cover?
[irach] **CLANGGGGG** It's a manhole cover. *Peers down hole in ground* irach? irach?
Phew... Glad to ge out of that hole.... The next one is ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE AND MINERAL AND (STRONG).
Begins with P?
(STRONG) as in Strong Animal Connections?
Fictional?
[Tuj] Does does not begin with "P". Don't know what happened...Should have read ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE AND MINERAL AND (STRONG) ANIMAL CONNECTIONS.
[GLogin] Yes, fictional, I guess.
Connected with food?
[INJ] Parts (but not all) of the vegetable and animal connections are related to food.
Is it festive?
[Tuj] Yes, festive.
Connected with Christmas?
[Raak] Yes, connected to Christmas.
Related to snowmen?
Anything to do with stables?
[GLogin] No snowmen.
[Dujon] No, not really. Maybe a very peripheral connection to stables, but the best answer is no.
Santa's sleigh?
Twelve Days of Christmas?
[Raak] Not the Santa sleigh.
[cfm] The "Twelve Days of Christmas" it is! Not only is a baton handed off to you, but because my true love and I have split up, and I have no need for them, I will also hand over Twelve drummers drumming, Eleven pipers piping, Ten lords a-leaping, Nine ladies dancing, Eight maids a-milking, Seven swans a-swimming, Six geese a-laying, Five golden rings, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree!
[irach] Oh my my, thank you. I am overwhelmed by your generosity. Curiously, was the tangential connection to stables related to the maids-a-milking? Next we have something

ANIMAL with ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS

[cfm] Yes, the very periperally, tangential possible connection to stables was the "maids-a-milking".
"Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer"?
Is the animal human?
[irach] NO, not poor Rudolph.
[INJ] YES, the animal connection is human.
Christmassy?
Human fictional?
[Raak] NO, nothing particularly festive about it.
[Rosie] NO, not fictional.
A specific, named individual, or a type/class of person such as a "Member of Parliament"?
Linked to a particular country or culture?
[irach] Two questions posed there, I think. NO, not one named individual. YES membership is a relevant idea.
[CdM] Hmmmmm. Very challenging to answer that one. But I think the best answer is YES, originally.
Anything to do with sport?
An ethnic group?
Connected with an occupation?
Are there more than a million members of this group alive today?
Related to religion?
[Rosie]NO, unrelated to sport.
[Raak] NO, ethincity is unimportant
[INJ] YES, related to an occupation! *audience re-engages, claps*
[CdM] NO, no million alive today.
[Tuj] NO, secular in nature.
Did more people practise this occupation in the past than nowadays?
[Raak] NO, the related occupation is more common now.
Did the occupation exist 100 years ago?
Are there more than a hundred members of this group alive today?
Tattoo artists?
[Raak] YES, the related occupation existed.
[CdM] NO, there are not 100 members alive.
Are members of this group generally viewed favourably?
Repeating my above question....Tattoo artists?
[Rosie] YES, they are well regarded.
[irach] So sorry to have overlooked your question. NO, not tattoo artists.
Are they involved in any of the fine arts?
The Beatles?
[irach] YES. They are.
[CdM] NO. More than four in the group--I'll throw that in for free. :-)
Are these people members of an elite group of award winners?
[Dujon] NO, award-winning is not what defines this group.
Performers of music?
[Rosie] NO, they are not musicians.
Actors and/or actresses?
Monarchs?
[Rosie] NO, neither on stage nor screen.
[INJ] NO, they are commoners.
Dancers?
[irach] NO, but you are narrowing the field!
Acrobats?
[irach] NO. *re-directs you to the YES answer to your question about fine arts*
In the graphic arts?
[Raak] YES. Related to the graphic arts.
Do they form an organisation?
[Raak] YES. They organized.
Young British Artists?
As depicted in Private Eye.
[Rosie]NO. Not YBAs.
Was this organisation founded before 1800?
Members of the Royal Academy?
[Raak]NO. More recent than1800.
[INJ] NO. Not the Royal Academy.
The Impressionists?
[irach] NO. Not The Impressionists.
Did the group organise after 1900?
[irach] YES. After 1900.
Cubists?
TO DO WITH MOVING PICTURES?
Er, excuse the caps lock there.
[irach] NO. Cubism did not define the group. *audience claps anyway* (which is to say there might just be a connection of some kind...)
[Raak] NO. Not moving pictures. *audience claps anyway again*
To do with cartoons/comic books?
[irach] NO. Not particularly funny.
Hint: Raak's questions about the related occupation were significant.
Does the name of this group itself contain a name?
[Rosie] NO. The name contains no name.
Was this group more important in the past than it is in the present day?
Is this primarily a European grouping?
[CDM] Hard to say about importance. The group's influence is still significant but is pretty much taken for granted today.
[INJ] No, not primarily European.
Anything to do with photography?
[Rosie] YES. Proceed. :-)
Any connection to Alfred Stieglitz?
So (I presume) the related profession is photography, and we are looking for a group of individuals, fewer than 100 but greater than 4 in number, who had a significant influence on the profession in the past but whose influence is now taken for granted. We don't know if any of this group are alive today, but we do know that the group organized after 1900. It's possibly linked to a particular country/culture which is not primarily European.
[CdM] YES. And well summarized. :-)
Begins with P?
[CdM] Ta.
Was Ansel Adams a leading light in the original group?
[Tuj] Was waiting for you. YES. Begins with P.
[Dujon] NO. Adams' group began with F. :-)
The Photo-Secessionists?
I left a decent interval, but no one is stepping in...
Click!
[CdM] YES. Steiglitz was among the first to argue that the camera could be an instrument of fine art--an idea we rather take for granted these days.
[Iraak] The connection to cubism is Steiglitz'a gallery 291, where many avant garde European artists, including the cubists, first exhibited in the U.S.
*Hands CdM the baton, again.*
This one is ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with a minor MINERAL component.
Is it a food item with salt being the minor mineral component?
Salted food item? Yes. *audience applauds the bright start*
Begins with P?
*sigh*
[Tuj] Are you feeling typecast?
Begins with P? Yes.
Is it festive?
I've only got myself to blame!
Ham and bean soup?
Ooops. guess that doesn't begin with P. how about pea soup with ham? :-)
Pork pie?
Festive? No.
Pam and bean soup? No.
Pork pie? No.
Is the animal portion meat (rather than dairy)?
A "snack" food or something more substantial?
Meaty? Yes.
Snacky? More substantial than a snack food. *a little murmured discussion in the audience*
Would this be a food which most people are likely to have purchased in a 'take-away' form rather than in a restaurant (e.g. a kebab)?
Take-away vs Restaurant? No simple answer to that. It could be purchased for consumption on the premises; it could be purchased in a take-away form for eating elsewhere; it could be purchased for consumption at home. All three are perfectly normal for this particular foodstuff.
A sandwich of some kind?
Sandwich? No, but *considerable applause* nonetheless.
Some form of dough stuffed with meat?
Does the 'meaty' bit come from a fowl?
Meatfilled dough? No. *smattering of applause from the more generous audience members*
Fowl? Not usually, but it can.
Something with dumplings in it?
Pizza?
Pepperoni Pizza?
Pepperoni, pork and papaya pizza, with a side order of peanuts?
Dumplinged? No.
Pizza (with pepperoni, pork, papaya, peanuts, pumpkin, and peas)? No.
(On reflection, the audience should not have applauded cfm's last question; the applause for his/her sandwich question was sufficient.)
Pasty (or pastie)?
Pasty? No.
Edible pastie? Definitely no. This is a family game.
Are the words on the card English?
e.g. Pasty rather than pasta.
Pilaf?
Pastrami?
Porchetta panini?
Ding! Ding! Ding!
English? Yes-ish. Fortunately I don't have to think too hard about this one because...
Pilaf? No, but...
Pastrami? Yes! [From Wikipedia] It is cured in brine, coated with a mix of spices such as garlic, coriander, black pepper, paprika, cloves, allspice, and mustard seed, and then smoked. Finally, the meat is steamed..." and "...although beef navels are the traditional cut of meat for making pastrami, it is now common to see pastrami made from beef brisket, beef round and turkey."
*hands GL one thinly sliced baton on rye*
Oh, darn um... OK MINERAL with ABSTRACT connections
Is it festive?
Is the mineral metal?
That's annoying - I'd thought of pastrami, but rejected it because I thought it had to be beef. YLSNED.
The star that the Three Wise Men followed?
[Tuj] festive? No.
[ImNotJohn] metal? Yes.
[Raak] the comet? No.
A musical instrument?
Unique?
[INJ] I like how that looks like a past participle.
[Raak] musical instrument? No
[Tuj] unique? Yes
Fictional?
The Angel of the North?
[cfm] fictional? It depends who you ask, I would say on balance - No.
[INJ] the angel? No.
A work of art?
Is the abstract connected with literature?
[Raak] work of art? *Some tittering from the audience* No.
[INJ] abstract connected with literature? No.
Bigger than a two-up-two-down?
Is the sometimes-considered-fictional element of the thing its abstract connection??
To do with the Yuletide season?
[Raak] bigger than a house? Yes, more so if you include the concrete part I'd forgotten about.
[cfm] sometimes-considered-fictional element; the abstract connection? The abstract connection is not universally considered factual... But is abstract either way
[irach] to do with yuletide? Still not Festive
Is it a monument?
[Raak] monument? No
Is the abstract-connection-not-universally-considered-factual religious in nature?
[cfm] is the abstract religious? No.
Is it in Europe?
[Tuj] in Europe? Yes
In the UK?
[Tuj] UK? If the abstract is fictional it's in the UK.
Is it more than 100 years old?
[Raak] created before 1st Jan 1912? No.
Is its whereabouts known and constant?
Hmm!
[Tuj] fixed location? Yes
Is it a building?
Sealand?
Is the abstract component related to government/politics?
[Raak] building? Yes
[cfm] government related or political? Yes
[Tuj] Principality of Sealand? YES. Have a semi-autonomous baton.
Well, shiver me timbers!
So! Let's have a nice bit of

ABSTRACT

Related to the current season?
Funny how that's become a default question this month
Raak] Festive? NO
A title? (Such as of a book, song, movie?)
irach] A title? Do you know what, the word(s) on the card do form the title of one of those things, so YES, though as far as my setting is concerned that's coincidental.
Seeing as you cannot pose the quetion, Tuj, does the answer begin with a 'P'?
Sorry. My ring finger had a brief holiday. 'question' not 'quetion'.
An emotion?
An imaginary character?
A well known phrase or saying?
Dujon] I could hardly resist ;) YES!
Rosie] An emotion? NO
Raak] Imaginary character? *audience gives a brief burst of laughter, applause* NO. There are elements of truth in what you ask, like with irach's happy happenstance, but it's certainly not imaginary.
GL] Phrase or saying? NO
Is it the name of a role?
An activity?
Raak] Name of a role? NO
Rosie] Activity? NO
Does this have anything to do with Ovid and sculpture?
Is the coincidental link a title of a movie?
MC to all MCers
Dujon] Ovid and sculpture? Not that I know of
irach] A film title? YES
A human construct?
CdM] Human construct? NO
A film made in the last twenty years?
Will be asking the Internet all about this film
Rosie] Was the film the answer on the card coincidentally shares its name with made after 1992? YES
Is the answer to do with the 'arts'?
Could animals be aware of this abstract quality?
Penelope?
Did the film the answer on the card coincidentally shares its name with star that guy, name's on the tip of my tongue, you know, was in the movie with whatshername, you know, who got the oscar nomination for that movie about the guy and the other guy, played by that really tall bloke, and the girl who had the problem with whaddyacallit?
Good questions all!
Dujon] Arts? NO
Rosie] Animal awareness? NO, I doubt it. Though I could imagine some bored scientist making a case about bees or something, like they do.
Chalky] pen? NO =)
CdM] ...? This was particularly hard to research, but I'm pretty sure the answer is NO
Related to biology?
Can it be measured?
cfm] Biological? NO
Rosie] Measured? YES (though that may not quite be the right word) *some appreciative audience noise*
Something to do with the weather?
We're stalling. Time for a summary?
Rosie] Your favourite subject? NO
To do with magic?
A purely physical effect?
Favourite subject? Well one of them. :-)
Keep fishing
irach] Magical? NO
Physical? NO
Do do with something monetary?
Related to mathematics?
irach] Monetary? NO
jim] Mathematical? YES! *standing ovation*
Pi?
Eureka!
INJ] Pi? YES *audience fire party poppers*

Here, have this cylindrical baton, and I won't even ask you to calculate its volume.
Lurker? Me?
OK, this one is MINERAL
Metal?
Manufactured?
Unique?
[Raak] Metallic? - NO
[GL] Manufactured? YES (in the broadest sense)
[Tuj] Unique? - YES is probably the most helpful answer *some muttering in the audience*
Assuming a unique instance
Was it made in the last 20 years?
Concrete (in the concrete sense)?
[Merlyn] Naughty nineties? - NO
[Raak] Concretion? - NO
A reservoir?
Could it be seen from space?
[Rosie] The big reservoy? - NO
[Tuj] Spatial visibility? - Well, space is a big place - did you have any particular bit of it in mind? How big a pair of binoculars have you got with you?
Anyway, the sensible and useful answer is NO
Is the mineral water?
Is the mineral water what?
[Rosie] Perrier? - NO
Is the 'manufacture' of this mineral natural, in the sense, say, of granite or pumice?
[Dujon] Naturally manufactured? - I think I see what you mean and the answer is NO. I probably should have said 'In a broad sense' for manufactured, just as a clue that you shouldn't interpret it too narrowly. This is the product of a human process.
Is the mineral a by-product of another process?
Is it in a specific fixed location?
[Dujon] Mineral a by-product? - NO
[CdM] In one place? - YES *a few appreciative murmurs in the audience*
Located in Europe?
[cfm] European? - NO
On Earth?
Has this thing necessitated the shifting of large quantities of rock, soil etc?
Begins with P?
[Chalky] Terrestrial? - YES
[Rosie] Moving rock/soil - YES *some applause*
[Tuj] THE QUESTION? - NO
Fracking?
[Raak] Fracking? - Frack NO!
If it's not fricking fracking - is it in aNY WAYconnected to fuel extraction
Cold
[Chalky] Drilling/mining/etc? - NO
Is it linked to death?
[GL] Morbid? - To some extent but not exclusively or even chiefly *whispered discussions in the audience*
Connected with transport?
[Rosie] Transport-related? - NO
Is this an individual object?
[Raak] Individual object? - NO (this explains the hesitation over Unique). Strictly speaking it's a group, but the words on the card card refer to the whole group.
Current hours of business
I will respond as quickly as I can between 8am & 6pm UK time, but I'm not carrying my laptop the 2 mile walk to my hotel.
Is this collection to be found in China?
The Pyramids?
[Dujon] Sinitic? - NO (but it so easily could have been since I was in Xi'an in October)
[Rosie] Pyramids? - NO, but *some applause*
Does it end with P?
[CdM] Pending? - NO
Stonehenge?
[Raak] Stonehenge? - NO (it was still in Europe last time I looked)
Does it contain a P?
[GL] Pinternal? - NO
Should the fact that you were in Xi'an in October (or at all) influence our search?
[Rosie] China etc? No, not in any obvious way and if at all, then probably only after the fact. Certainly thinking along lines suggested by China and terracotta armies isn't likely to help. My comment was only because I thought that was what Dujon was thinking of.
The statues of Easter Island?
In the Americas?
[Raak] That looks a good guess.
You were correct in your thoughts, ImNotJohn.
*Awaits response to Raak's query before losing any more podumes*
In the Middle East?
[Raak] Moai? - NO
[Tuj] American? - NO
[Dujon] There you are, you could have had a go
[irach] Mediaorientalist? - NO (but tying this down geographically is a good approach)
Australasian?
Manufactured/constructed/whatever within the last 100 years?
[Tuj] Built upside-down? - NO
[CdM] - Less than 100 years old? - NO
In Africa?
A bit warmer
[Chalky] Africa? - YES *applause*
Taller than a double-decker bus?
Resisting guessing "the twin peaks of Mt. Kilimanjaro"
[Tuj] The routemaster measurement? - In one sense, YES, in another, NO *audience nods knowingly*
Is it in a single country?
[Tuj] In 1 country? - YES
BTW - with an arm up my back I'd plump for 'taller than a bus' but you'll understand why I answered as I did when you get the answer, or very shortly before.
Do people live in it?
The Kimberley Mine (aka The Big Hole)?
(Although I now see you answered the earlier fuel-extraction question with a general negative comment about mining, so I suspect my guess is not right.)
[Tuj] Inhabited? - NO
[CdM] Big 'ole? - NO
*audience applauds both questions*
Re mining/drilling - if it had been a diamond mine, even if open-cast, I wouldn't have replied as I did, but you have got the right idea as to the bus answer, so don't read too much into it - and don't forget Rosie's early question.
Is this conglomeration situated in Ethiopia?
Celle-ci n'est pas une question
So, if I am inferring correctly from the answers, we are looking for something underground or below ground level, but not linked to mining, not inhabited, created by humans more than a century ago and not containing water. Man-made caves? Tunnels? Tombs?
[Dujon] Abyssinian? - YES! *loud and prolonged applause*
Why didn't you just have a guess at it?
[CdM] Fairly accurate, but Dujon has leap-frogged you.
The Sof Omar Caves?
[Raak] Sof Omar caves? - NO, but they look fascinating - however they're too natural.
Royal Tombs of Aksum?
Isn't that in Earthsea?
[CdM] Axum tombs - NO (my reading is that they are megalithic, which I would take as being above ground)
Come on, someone must get it soon!
The pyramids of Meroe?
I didn't think there were so many possibilities
[Raak] Pyramids of Meroe? - NO
Basically below ground level, remember
Lalibela churches?
That has to be it! :-)
At Last!
YES
It is the rock-cut (or monolithic) churches of Lalibela, where I hope to be in about a week's time.
Here's a mountain and a chisel - carve your own baton.
(INJ) Could you and CdM conduct your nerdy little game in private and give the rest of us a chance? It seems pointless and time-wasting to ask questions when one has no chance whatever of guessing the answer, and this is not for the first time, either.
[INJ] Exceedingly cool.
[Rosie] Really? I had no idea you felt that way. In future you should make sure we all know if you are unhappy about how the game is played.
MINERAL
In Ethiopia? Unique?
Man made?
Unique? Yes.
Man-made? No.
(CdM) Fuck off, Cunt de Melbourne. What a pair of irritating nerdish selfish twats you and your brother are.
Terrestial?
[Rosie] Behave! :)
[Tuj] Behave! ;)
[INJ] Because I have no desire to 'win'. ;)
Terrestrial? No.
[Rosie] Your recurring temper tantrums really are getting a little tiresome. Perhaps it's time for you to take your ball and go home again for a couple of weeks. I don't think you've done that yet this month.
Oops
Sorry. YES to Terrestrial
Is the mineral water?
Water? No.
A geological feature?
Geological feature? Yes.
A mountain?
Well, whilst I feel a little guilty in banging in consecutive questions no one else has bothered for a day or so.
A mountain? Yes. *applause* [Dujon] Better be careful. You might end up winning. :-)
In Africa?
Yes it does! Er. Oops. I mean
Under African skies? No.
Surely it's more obscure than...Kilimanjaro?
Begins with P?
In Europe?
Ooops :-)
Under African skies? Still no.
Begins with P? Yes. (That was what I meant with my last answer.)
In Europe? No.
Pinatubo?
Does this edifice have an attraction for motor sport?
Pinatubo? No.
Motor sport? No.
Popocatepetl?
Popocatepetl? No. (I can't help feeling that there are a lot of non-European, non-African mountains beginning with P.)
In the Americas?
[CdM] Ahh, I wondered what that answer meant!
Puncak Jaya?
Pike's Peak?
In the Americas? Yes
More random mountains beginning with P? No.
In the US?
In the US? Yes.
This mountain does have a claim to fame, by the way, so it is certainly possible to approach the questioning by routes other than the purely geographic.
Mount Palomar, with its additional claim to fame in astronomy circles?
Famous for a specific event?
Palomar Mountain? Yes! *hands irach hollowed baton with lenses in each end*
Dizzied with my success I see stars....!!!! The next one is ABSTRACT WITH A STRONG ANIMAL CONNECTION
Is the animal connection human?
Is it a single-word answer?
[CdM] The animal connection is not human.
[Tuj] The answer is multiple-worded.
A symbolic animal?
Begins with P?
a well-known phrase or metaphor?
A phrase containing the name of an animal (e.g. lion's share, dog's breakfast etc)?
Is it a fictional part of a real animal? (eg hen's teeth, horse feathers etc)
[Raak] The animal in qustion is not exactly symbolic or iconic, except in one limited way.
[Tuj] Does not begin with "P".
[cfm] YES, a well-known phrase.
[jim] Yes, the phrase contains the name of the animal.
[GLogin] No, not a fictional part of a real animal.
Is the answer a title (e.g., of a book, play, film, TV show, work of art by Tracey Emin...)?
Is the animal a mammal?
Is it the Bee's Knees? (with or without an arrow through them)
[CdM] Not the title of anything, as far as I am aware.
[cfm] The animal in question is not a mammal.
[GLogin] Not the bee's (or any other arthropod's) knees.
Is the animal a reptile?
Is the animal a fish?
Is the fish a reptile?
Does it fly?
Is it a metaphor?
[cfm] Yes, the animal is a reptile.
[Tuj] A reptile, therefore not a fish.
[CdM] ibid.The fish is no reptile.
[Raak] Does not fly.
[Chalky] Not a metaphor.
Leaping lizards?
Is the animal a kind of snake?
[cfm] Not leaping lizards.
[CdM] Not a snake (in the grass or otherwise).
(I had stated that this phrase was not the title of anything, as far as i was aware. Googling it now shows that it also happens to be the title of an obscure something, but the words on the card are much more well known to the public when used as the phrase itself).
Crocodile tears?
[Software] Not crocodile tears; yet the audience is now all agog.
See you later, alligator?
YES, it is the phrase "See you later, alligator". In lieu of a conventional baton, a long stick, to keep the 'gator at bay while saying fond goodbyes to it, is duly handed over to cfm.
Er...thank you. What? Hey! Oh dear...down boy!
This one is VEGETABLE AND MINERAL WITH A STRONG ABSTRACT CONNECTION.
Salt and pepper?
Chalk and cheese?
Vegan cheese, obviously.
Edible?
[irach] Bill Haley and 'See You Later, Alligator' is obscure? Shame on you, sir, shame. ;)
Darn it, I forgot, cfm. Short term memory?
[irach] Well seasoned: NO
[raak] Cuisine du pica: NO
[CdM] Cuisine at all: NO
[Dujon] Was there a question in there somewhere? :-)
Begins with P?
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the mineral metal?
Unique?
[Tuj] NO, not this time.
[G] YES, there is wood involved.
[CdM] NO, not unique.
And my apologies, players: as I reviewed the composition of the word on the card in my mind's eye, I realized there is sometimes a minor ANIMAL component as well.
[Jim] YES, there is metal involved.
Is the wood component processed?
Is the Animal component more minor than the Vegetable and Mineral-iness, which in themselves aren't as major as the obviously strong Abstractiness of this thingy?
Alternatively - is this game quite difficult to play 'from the chair'?
Just say yes.
[Chalky} LOL! er....YES!
[CdM] YES. The wood is subject to human/mechanical intervention.
Is the wood in the form of paper?
[CdM] NO. There is no paper involved.
*back to basics* Is this the name of a place?
[Chalky] NO. Not a place.
Are there other significant vegetable and mineral components other than wood and metal?
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
Is the animal component leather?
[CdM] Complicated question. How do you define signifcant? Here is what I think will be a helpful answer. Plastic/resin elements may be involved. Plastics/resins may have both vegetable and mineral components.
[Chalky] NO. Not a well-known phrase or saying.
[irach] NO. The animal component is not leather.
Would the wooden element likely be found indoors?
[irach] You might encounter the word on the card indoors or outdoors. The wooden element is integrated with the other elements.
Do you think a typical morniverser would own one of these?
[CdM] MAYBE Not knowing any morniversers, I can not say what is typical.
Fine, whatever... :-) Do YOU own one?
[CdM] That's a pretty personal question. Can someone consult the rules? Is that allowed?
[CdM] Well, alright. Since no one appears to be troubled by the nature of your inquiry... :-)
YES. I own one.
Is the wooden element a piece of furniture?
[irach] NO. Not a piece of furniture.
Are you male or female?
If it's not a personal question: Are you a virgin?
OK - I'll re-phrase that. Given your reply to CdM - is this more likely to be owned by a male?
... and there's no need to be rude. Trolling isn't tolerated here.
Is it portable?
[Chalky] I believe "Fakename"'s question is inadmissible anyway, since it doesn't refer to the item we're trying to guess.
[Chalky] YES, is my best guess, men own more of these. But I have no statistics and Google isn't helping.
The personal question comment was a joke, you know. :-)
[jim] YES. It is portable.
[Fakename] Fake off.
Is it functional?
(and that's not a personal question)
[CdM] YES, it is functional as opposed to decorative.
An object often carried in a wallet or purse?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Tuj] Between bills and baby pictures? NO.
[CdM] YES. Even a DeLonghi 6-slice.
Is it powered?
A microwave ready meal?
[CdM] YES. Some of these are powered. But some are not.
[Software] NO. See above, it is bigger than a 6-slice toaster.
Is it connected with agriculture or gardening?
Is it propelled on the ground?
A barbeque?
[jim] Seedy reputation? NO. No agricultural connection.
[irach] Moving right along...? NO. Neither the ground nor propulsion are relevant.
[Software] Toss it on the grill... NO. Fire hazard indoors, too. :-)
Would it typically be described as a tool?
[CdM] NO. It would not be described as a tool.
Is it used for recreational purposes?
Is it stationary whilst in use?
[irach] YES. Sometimes. But not in the sports sense of word recreational and it may also be used, in a professional context.
[Gusset Login] YES. Sometimes. But it's never completely immobile.
Does it contain electronic components?
[CdM] NO. Not necessarily. But electronic components may be added to increase its functionality.
A rabbit hutch with optional built-in clock radio and microwave?
[CdM] NO. I think that would constitute a major animal component.
[cfm] I didn't say anything about it containing a rabbit.
Is the wooden bit a handle?
[irach] NO. The object has no handle.
Any musical connection?
[INJ] YES. There is a musical connection.
Is the musical connection a guitar?
Is it a musical instrument?
[INJ] The audience probably should have made a bigger fuss over your last question...but they were really sleepy that night. :-)
[irach] YES. Bingo. *hands irach a rosewood baton with mother-of-pearl inlay*
(Strumming the newly acquired baton while contemplating the next puzzle should be, still wondering what the 'abstract" element in a guitar is)...ah, here goes, the next one is ABSTRACT
A human construct?
[irach] Not presuming to speak for cfm, but s/he specified an abstract connection, which I take to be music/songs.
[irach] What he said. [CdM] What you said.
[cfm] Yes, a human construct.
Connected to geography?
Connected to the arts?
Bigger than a virtual toaster?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Mark my words, one day it's going to be right.
[Tuj] Tangentially, yes, related to a "geographical" location.
[Raak] Not connected to the arts.
[Software] In the abstract world, if bigger is better, it is better known than any virtual toaster.
{INJ} Drat, not this time around.
Topical?
[irach] I like the toaster answer very much.
Related to a specific belief system?
An organisation?
[INJ] Not related to a belief system.
[Raak] Not an organisation.
Topical?
Does that include the flying toasters that were once ubiquitous on Windows PCs?
[GLogin] Not particularly topical. It would not come up in normal everyday conversations, except perhaps in very select limited circles.
[CdM] Perhaps not, in retrospect.
To do with science?
[Raak] No scientific connection, but perhaps a tangential link to scientific method.
A phrase or saying?
[Software] Not a phrase in the true sense of the word, or a saying.
A sensation?
Related to sport?
[cfm] Not a sensation.
[Tuj] Not sport-related.
A state of mind or emotion?
[cfm] Not a state of mind or emotion.
An activity?
[cfm] Not an activity, but rather a hub of "activity".
A location?
[cfm] Yes, a location.
A unique location or a common location?
Related to economic activity?
[cfm] A unique location.
[CdM] Not related to econmoic activity.
A location in Europe?
[cfm] A location in Europe - "Yes", and no.
Does this location move?
[Raak] The location does not move, it is fixed, but remember, it is in essence ABSTRACT.
Is it defined by its position in relation to other things?
Such as 'the pole of inaccessibility' or 'the centre of the UK'
[ImNotJohn] It is a much more specifically pinpoint-able locale than a place defined by its relationships to other things; yet it is abstract in that it is in fact not a "real" locale. Therefore my earlier answer "Yes" and no about it being located in Europe.
Does it appear in a work of fiction?
Like the Reichenbach Falls
[ImNotJohn] Yes, it does appear in a work of fiction. It is not Reichenbach Falls, but quite a few in the audience clap and nod appreciatively at its mention.
221b Baker Street?
YES, 221b Baker Street it is. See, 'twas elementary, my dear Watsons. It's through sleuthing with proper questioning, not by sheer luck one homes in to the right answer. A calabash pipe, in place of a baton, is handed over to Raak.
The next is VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, and MINERAL.
Does it begin with a P?
Does not begin with a P.
- oh
Is it unique?
Is it edible?
Is it a domestic article?
Is it Groucho Marx (the animal) smoking a cigar (vegetable) an dropping the ashes (mineral)?
[Tuj] Not unique.
[CdM] Inedible.
[INJ] Not really a domestic article.
[irach] Grouchy marks? No.
Is the vegetable paper?
Is the vegetable component wood?
[GL] Not paper.
[irach] The vegetable is wood.
Is the animal component leather?
Bigger than a toaster?
[cfm] Yes, leather.
[Tuj] Bigger than a toaster.
A lacrosse stick?
[cfm] Jolly lacrosse sticks? No.
Is the mineral metal?
[irach] Yes, metal.
What can you make with wood, leather, and metal? Actually, technically I think the animal part is not "leather", but it is skin processed in some way.
An old steamer sea trunk?
"skin processed in some way"? Whoa. Weirdness.
Just sayin....
Related to interment, memorialization?
[irach] Not a trunk.
[cfm] Not six feet under.
Bigger than a phone box?
[CdM] Not bigger than a phone box.
Would one normally find it indoors?
Is it musical?
[jim] Can be indoors or outdoors.
[Tuj] *applause* It is musical.
A concertina?
Oh, hang on, you said it was musical.
[INJ] It is both musical, and not a concertina.
A drum?
A tambourine?
[Tuj] *more applause* It is a drum.
[INJ] But not a tambourine.
Bongo drums?
[irach] Not bongos.
Associated with a particular people or location?
[INJ] Yes, associated with etc.
Bongo druums?
A djembe?
[cfm] Not a djembe.
A Taiko drum?
Is this a drum which is struck with an implement - as opposed to the hand?
A tabla?
[Dujon] Yes, [irach] No, [CdM] su-ku-DON!! YES, a taiko. Have this pair of bachi.
Baci? Yum! *unwraps and eats*
That was not a lucky guess; I just have a long memory :-)
All right, this next one is probably best thought of as ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections, although you might be able to make a case for ANIMAL with ABSTRACT and VEGETABLE connections
Begins with P?
Is it Malcolm's army approaching Dunsinane under cover of foliage cut from Birnam wood?
P-begun? Yes.
Branches of the military? No.
Phrase or saying?
A work of art?
A title of a movie or work of fiction?
A particular recipe?
Phrase or saying? No, or at least only if you adopt a very broad definition of that term.
A work of art? I realise now that I should really say that, as well as being abstract, this has abstract connections. The answer, as I am interpreting it, is not a work of art. The abstract connections include a work of art, although that is unlikely to be helpful.
Title of a movie/work of fiction? Both, as it happens, although that is also unlikely to be helpful. *some applause, but for the question rather than for the answer*
Recipe? No.
Was this invented by a specific person?
A branch of study or learning?
Invented by a specific person? No.
Branch of study? No.
Mythical / legendary?
Mythical/legendary? No.
Appears in a work of fiction?
Is the animal in question human?
Appears in a work of fiction? Undoubtedly in many. The principal abstract connection is also certainly referred to in works of fiction, though I know no specific examples.
Animal in question human? Yes.

As so often seems to happen, I'm finding it hard to give answers that don't mislead, so let me attempt to clarify. The words on the card have a fairly generic sense, and I am taking that as the main definition. However, the words on the card are more notable in reference to a particular abstract connection. Googling reveals that the words on the card have been used as a title for a book, a movie, and a painting, but none of these is the significant abstract connection.
A werewolf?
Werewolf? No.
Does the word "man" appear on the card?
Word "man"on the card? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Do the words on the card describe a human condition?
Human condition? Not a human condition, but in their generic non-abstract sense, they do describe (an exemplar of) a class of humans.
Is the class of humans distiguished by some physical characteristic?
Physical characteristic? No.
Would this be more applicable to the female of the species?
Reference to angels?
Do the words on the card convey the vegetable element?
More applicable to women? I don't know any statistics but there is no obvious reason to think so.
Angelic? No.
Vegetable element on the card? Yes.
Does the vegetable element begin with P?
A Paper Tiger?
Does vegetable begin with P? Yes.
Paper Tiger? No. *some applause*
Is it only a paper moon?
Is the vegetable element paper?
Is the vegetable element papyrus?
Paper Chase?
Paper Moon? No.
Vegetable = paper? Yes
Papyrus? No.
Paper Chase? No.
Two clues, because I am feeling generous. First, the words on the card describe something less abstract than your guesses. Remember I said that this could also be described as Animal with Abstract/Vegetable connections. Second, the string of letters "paper" does appear on the card, but strictly speaking the word "paper" does not.
pDoes a word beginning with "paper" appear on the card?
pWord beginning with Paper? pYes.
Paperback Writer?
Dear INJ, that baton you took
It took me years to make, won't you take a look
Looks at baton, sees 'Lear' crossed out and 'CdM' written in its place
OK, we'll go for Mineral
Is there only one?
[Phil] Unique? - YES
A monument?
[Software] Monumental? - NO
Does it belong to one person?
[Tuj] Mine, all mine!? - NO
Earthly, terrestrial, or otherwise on this planet?
[irach] Third rockish? - YES
Is there metal involved?
A human artifact?
[cfm] Metal involved - NO, well, only sort of... *audience chuckles*
[Raak] Man-made? - NO
A disputed territory?
[Dujon] Disputed territory? - NO
Uluru?
[GL] Uluru? - NO
Watery?
Is it of substantial scientific interest?
Moving on a bit now
[CdM] Watery? YES - *applause*
[Raak] Scientifically interesting? - NO (IMO)
A lake?
[jim] mere, pond, tarn, inland sea? - NO
A geographical entity?
Begins with P?
[Phil] Geographical entity? - NO (by any reasonable sense of that term)
[Tuj] P......? *audience sits up as one* - NO *audience collapses, deflated*
Is it underground?
[Raak] Underground? - NO
As is traditional at about this point can I suggest you examine your assumptions.
Is the water actually what it is made of?
As opposed to "watery" just being taken to mean wet.
[jim] Made of water? - YES
Is it potable?
A glacier?
Is it located in a specific continent?
A Snowflake?
[Chalky] Drinkable? - NO
[Software] Glacier? - NO but *considerable audience applause*
[Tuj] - In a specific continent? - NO
[GL] Snowflake? - Nice idea, but NO
The Arctic ice cap?
The ice hotel?
The iceberg struck by the Titanic?
Any old iceberg?
An avalanche?
That's the way to do it!
Well - without beating about the bush - CdM is right.
It's the iceberg struck by the Titanic.
The point that people were missing and that I hoped to catch you on was that it no longer exists.
Take this baton before it melts.
MINERAL AND VEGETABLE (and also, by my best guess, ANIMAL, as well as having ANIMAL connections)
A manufactured thing?
Manufactured? Yes.
Begins with P?
Larger than the toaster size standard ?
Begins with P? Need you ask? Yes.
Bigger than a toaster? Yes.
Unique?
Partly made of wood?
Unique? No.
Partly wooden? Yes.
Is the mineral metal?
Is it a weapon?
Is it a vehicle?
Is it a tool?
Is it musical?
Metal? In part, yes
A weapon? No.
A vehicle? Yes *applause*
A tool? No.
Musical? No.
Is this 'vehicle' something that travels on water?
Aquatic? No.
Does it fly?
Is it more than 50 years old?
Aeronautic? No. (A few audience members, who chuckled quietly at the notion of this being aquatic, find this question even more amusing.)
More than 50 years old? Yes (although there are modern versions).
Is is restricted to a track?
A rickshaw?
Does it run on animal power?
A Phaeton?
On rails? No.
Rickshaw? No.
Animal powered? Yes (though not the more modern versions)
Phaeton? No. *smattering of applause* (but only a smattering; don't get too carried away)
Plough?
Plough? No.
Is the answer a form of public transport?
On the buses? No.
Is it a vehicle primarily for carrying goods?
Primarily for goods? Yes. *applause*
Ox-cart type of thingy?
Pantechnicon?
A milk float?
A Pantechnicon (or more precisely, a Pantechnicon van, which is what the original horse-drawn vehicles of the Pantechnicon company were called) is the correct answer. Would you like us to store this baton for you, or should we deliver it?
When do you want me to email you the answer?
Well, this is getting a bit embarrassing. But, since I had already thought of pantechnicon when I asked my penultimate question, I don't feel sufficiently awkward about setting another one.
So, the next one is MINERAL, with some Abstract connections
Unique?
Metal?
Whitney Houston's coffin?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Only one? - NO
[Phil] Metallic? - YES
[Dujon] The last resting place...? - NO (one of these days the pin in the encyclopedia method is going to work, but not today)
[Tuj] Pfirst? - Why, YES
A phone box?
[jim] The oeuvre of G G Scott? - NO
A ubiquitous object?
Bigger than a phone box?
Which was what I was going to ask first, but I thought I'd cut to the chase :)
[cfm] Can't get away from it? - NO
[jim] - Dimensionally excessive K2-wise? - NO
A toaster?
[Software] The other toaster question - NO
Naturally occurring?
A tool of some kind?
[Raak] Naturally Occurring? - NO
[jim] A tool? - NO
A decorative object?
[cfm] Ooh, innit pretty? - NO (though it/they may be found attractive by some)
Associated with a particular country?
Mass-produced?
Does it have moving parts?
[Tuj] One country? - YES
[CdM] Mass-produced? - YES
[Raak] moving bits? - NO
Is it a model of something?
[Raak] A model? - NO
A bell?
[Raak] Belly? - NO
As a help, I can expand on my particular country answer to Tuj. They are/were associated with and produced in one country, but have/had a wider presence.
Still mass-produced?
[Phil] Still in production? - NO (Thank you - that'll make it easier for me to write comments and clues)
Does the answer contain a brand or company name?
[jim] Branded? - NO (Well, actually, I wouldn't be at all surprised to discover that it has been used as a brand name at some point somewhere, but that won't help you)
Smaller than a toaster?
[Phil] The first toaster question? - YES, smaller
In looking up the answer to jim's question I discovered this had been used as the name of an album, a book and a shop amongst other things but I can't see that helping much.
Associated with a European country?
[jim] Associated with European country? - YES * a few murmurs, but no dissent, among the audience*
Entirely metal?
[Phil] All metal? - YES *the audience are beginning to show some interest*
Is the abstract connection closely related to the country of origin?
Turkish?
Russian?
[Raak] We're thinking along the same lines, I think.
[cfm] Abstract connection related to country of origin? - Not especially, though there is some link
[Raak] Turkish? NO (I don't count that as European, despite Istanbul)
[jim] Russian? - NO (I see how your minds are working, but that's not the reason for the (very minor) audience reaction - The country of origin is fully and completely European)
A coin?
A peseta?
Here we go
[Raak] A coin? - YES *applause and even a couple of 'Huzzah's from the audience*
[Phil] Peseta? - NO *some more applause*
An Irish pound?
A currency in common usage today?
Can't take much longer
[jim] Taking a punt at a punt? - NO
[GL] In common use? - NO
Rendered obsolete by the Euro?
The pfennig?
Arrgh, I think I know the answer, but I can't bring myself to double-guess :(
[jim] The Belgian Drachma? - NO
[Phil] I bet you're right, so it's not the pfennig. I admire your restraint.
Ahem, the peso?
Well, that's a let-down
[Phil] Peso? - NO, that word is not on the card, but.....
LMAO - back to the drawing board!
A piece of eight?
Which amounts to almost the same thing ...
Oh sugar, beaten to it. Just what I was about to type
We have a winner!
[Phil]Well, it's always easier when you know the answer, but I think we're now at the cryptic crossword clue stage so that when you think of the answer, you know it's right.(simulposted)
[jim] You have just proved me right - The words on the card are Pieces of Eight (aka Peso de Ocho, aka Spanish Dollar)
Polly, take this baton over to Jim lad.
I'm actually kind of tempted to concede the win to Phil, since "peso" is so nearly there and we practically simul'd it. If you've got a clue lined up, Phil, you can take it if you want, otherwise I've got one I can do.
No, I haven't got one ready, so do go ahead, jim.
"Apres vous!" "Non, apres vous!"
OK, I am thinking of a ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.
A kobold?
Is this a question?
Is Beauty Truth?
One day, someone will get a hole in one ... but ...
[Raak] NO, not a kobold.
[Tuj] If this is an answer ...
[GL] Only if the truth in question is particularly beautiful.
Human construct?
Associated with a particular country?
[CdM] YES, a human construct.
[Tuj] NO, not associated with a particular country.
Related to the arts?
[cfm] Depends how you define "the arts", but in a broad sense, YES, related to the arts.
A rock carving?
Ancient cave paintings?
Something that no longer exists?
[Dujon] NO, not a rock carving.
[Raak] NO, not ancient cave paintings neither
[Tuj] NO, it still exists.
Are the animal connection human?
Associated with a craft?
Is the mineral connection metal?
Begins with P?
Ach sorry, low on willpower.
[INJ] YES, human.
[cfm] I have heard it described as a craft, but if you mean handicraft, NO.
[CdM] YES, metal. some applause from the audience
[Tuj] NO, alas, does not begin with P.
A memorial?
A ritual?
Blacksmithing?
Body Piercing?
[Software] NO, not a memorial.
[Raak] NO, not a ritual.
[irach] NO, not blacksmithing.
NO, not body piercing.
Religious significance?
An Action?
A Statue?
[Raak] It can have, but not in any sense that I think is going to help you.
[INJ] In a certain sense yes, but as generally understood NO.
[GL] A statue would be mineral with abstract/animal connections, so NO.
A figurative expression?
Connected with communication?
Connected with personal relationships?
[Raak] YES, in that the words on the card denote the answer in a figurative rather than a literal sense, although the expression is not the answer.
[INJ] YES, again in a broad sense, connected with communication.
[Tuj] It frequently is, but need not be.
A speech act of some sort?
Is the metal connection a specific metal item?
An advertising sign?
[Raak] NO, not speech as such (although it can be involved, but generally isn't).
[Tuj] NO, not a specific item.
[Software] NO, not an advertising sign.
Does it have a dircect connection with computers?
Involves the written word?
[Dujon] NO, no direct connection with computers.
[INJ] NO, does not (directly) involve the written word.
Is the metal in question as single metallic element found in the Periodic Table of Elements (such as iron or copper or lead), as opposed to a combination or alloy (e.g. brass, bronze, gunmetal)?
An astronomical constellation?
[irach] NO, not a specific metal, elemental or alloyed.
[Raak] NO, not an astronomical constellation.
An emotion or state of mind?
Associated with a particular place?
[CdM] NO, not an emotion or a state of mind.
[Tuj] Certain kinds of it are associated with certain regions, but not exclusively, and I shouldn't say the answer as a whole was associated with a given place.
An organisation?
[Raak] NO, not an organisation, although it involves a large number of small organisations.
Freemasonry?
Connected to commerce, business, or economics?
[Raak] NO, not freemasonry.
When I said "large number of small organisations" they wouldn't normally be referred to in those words, I should point out.
[CdM] YES, but the business side isn't generally considered the important bit.
A form of badge denoting membership of an organisation/club and their ilk?
Heavy metal music?
I like that guess!
Makes the sign of the horns
[Dujon] NO, not a badge, because ...
YES! The words on the card are Heavy Metal. At the end of the game, I fling my baton out into the crowd, where it is caught by irach.
I found it quite difficult answering all the "connected with X" questions without being misleading, since of course it can be connected with just about anything, if somebody writes a song about it. Relationships and (in one form or another) religion are frequent themes. The "small organisations" I referred to above would, of course, normally be called "bands" :)
Okay then.... The next one is ABSTRACT with STRONG ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
A unicorn?
Are the animal connections human?
Anarcho-Syndicalism?
Surely, this time.
[Tuj] Not a unicorn.
[CdM] The animal connections are not human.
[ImNotJohn] Rats! Doggone it! No, not this time, either.
Is it more abstract than a rhetorical question?
[Phil] About as abstract, I would expect, although it is not a rhetorical question.
Begins with P?
[Tuj} No "P" in the beginning.
Is it from fiction?
That's the formalities out of the way then.
Are the animal connections rats and dogs?
[Tuj] Not from fdction.
[CdM] One of the animal connections is a dog.
Is it an event?
[Phil] The words on the card do describe an action, if that can be called an "event".
A well-known phrase or saying?
Related to something dogs do?
[ImNotJohn] Yes, a well known phrase.
[cfm] Yes, related to what a dog does (or should I say doesn't do).
Is the word 'bite' on the card?
The dog that didn't bark in the night?
Hair of the dog?
[Dujon] The word "bite" is not on the card
[ImNotJohn] See above, therefore, no.
[Software] Not the hair of the dog.
It may behoove one to consider my earlier response that one of the animal connections is a dog.
Raining cats and dogs?
[Chalky] No, no felines involved.
Is/are the other animal connection/s mammals?
Yes, the other animal connection is mammalian.
Let the dog see the rabbit?
Is the other animal a cat?
[ImNotJohn] No, no rabbits involved.
[Tuj] As indicated in my response to Chalky, above, there are no felines (including domesticated cats) involved.
"That dog won't hunt"?
"dog eat dog"
Maybe the other connection is a dog as well.
[cfm] Not "That dog won't hunt".
[Raak] Not "dog eat dog"; the other animal connection is not the dog, Canis lupus familiaris. Nevertheless, some dogged audience members do sit up and take notice.
Proverbs 26:11?
[Raak] No, not Biblically proverbial.
A wolf in sheep's clothing?
Does the word "dog" appear on the card?
Does it involve the idea of hunting?
A dog's dinner?
The dog's bollocks?
Well someone had to say it ...
[Phil] Not a wolf in sheep's clothing... (yet a few audience members give faint nods of appreciation)
[CdM} The word "dog" does indeed appear on the card.
[ImNotJohn] No, the words on the card do not involve the idea of hunting, yet there is a tangential connection.
[Raak] Not a dog's dinner.
[Chalky] No bollocks involved.
dog and pony show?
Time for a recap, perhaps - The answer is a well-known phrase that contains the word "dog'; does not refer to cannibalistic dogs; there is at least one other mammalian animal connection, non-human, which is not the domesticated dog Canis lupus familiaris or rabbits, or any Felidae; the phrase is non-Biblical; perhaps tangentially connected to hunting, and that the phrase "wolf in sheep's clothing" evoked a couple of faint nods of appreciation, as though tracking in the right direction.
[cfm]Not a dog and pony show.
A dog in the manger?
[Raak] Not a dog in the manger. (Remember, the phrase has another mammalian non-human animal connection in addition to "dog").
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog?
Related to Sheepdogs/shepherding?
[ImNotJohn] Not related to sheepdogs/shepherding.
[cfm] The pangram, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" it is! A baton long enough to pole vault over the said lazy dog is duly handed off to cfm.
*lands, none too gracefully*
So let's try this:
MINERAL WITH ABSTRACT AND HUMAN CONNECTIONS
A diamond in the rough?
[irach] No hole in one, sorry. :-)
Hmmmm. None too gracefully indeed. Let's make that abstract with animal connections, which we now know are human. :-)
The Anarcho-syndicalist Society's crazy golf runners-up cup?
[cfm] Can you just clarify - is it still Mineral (with A & A) or is it just Abstract with Animal.
Begins with P?
I had to ask it this time, as it's one of those questions that works regardless of the confusion being cleared up.
Is the human connection animal?
A single individual?
Meaning, the mineral thing, rather than its connections.
[INJ] ASS cup? Nope. But Abstract and Animal, yes.
[Tuj] Next time, I Promise.
[CdM] *laughs*
[Raak] Yes. One individual.
Mineral = metal?
Owned by a specific person?
Is it extremely valuable?
[Software] To the best of my knowledge, sometimes yes, sometimes no.
[Tuj] Multiple owners. *Audience raises a collective eyebrow*
[Raak] Valuable, yes. Extremely? Depends on how much you have in your checking account, I suppose. But it ain't cheap.
I'm still not clear on your answer to INJ. This is MINERAL with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections; is that right?
An item of jewellery?
[CdM] So sorry. That is correct. Mineral with abstract and animal connections.
[Raak] To the best of my knowledge, no. *A few murmurs from the audience* *
Some sort of regalia?
Are computer/'phone screens pertinent to the answer?
Smaller than a toaster?
[Raak] No, nothing royal about it
[Dujon] [No, not at all.
[CdM] i am guessing yes, once in a rare while. But not usually.
I need another clarification. Raak asked if the mineral thing was a single individual, which I took to mean he was asking if it was unique, with only one instance in the world. You replied Yes. Am I misunderstanding your answer to Raak's question?
Invented in the last 200 years?
I would love to see video footage of the audience's response to my previous.
Related to arms or militaria?
[CdM] Sorry for the confusion. No, the mineral thing is not a single item. The animal connection is to a single individual. And thank you for clarifying.
[Tuj] Yes, invented in the last 200 years.
[INJ] No, not related to militaria.
Is the "single individual" the inventor of the item?
[Jim] Yes, the single individual invented the words on the card.
A communication device?
[Raak] No, not a communication device.
Is the inventor still alive?
Is the name of the inventor on the card?
[jim] No, the inventor is dead.
[INJ] Yes, the inventor's name is on the card.
Related to medicine?
Associated with a particular country?
[Raak] No, nothing medicinal. Though it might make you feel good to encounter it. :-)
[Tuj] Yes -- but not strongly so. I would guess that many people know the thing on the card but don't make that association.
Do you think that the typical morniverser owns one of these?
A household article?
[CdM] No, the average morniverser probably does not have one stashed out back.
[Raak]Yes, often but not always.
Functional as opposed to decorative?
[CdM] No, not functional as opposed to decorative.
You may wish to rephrase your question(s).
Is the first of these reputed to have been made for Tsar Alexander III?
[Dujon] No. We're not making omelettes. :-) Fun guess, though.
A timepiece of some sort?
[INJ] Yes, sometimes. I know of at least one instance.
Tiffany glass/window?
[irach] Yes! The words on the card are indeed Tiffany glass. *very carefully hands off a fabulous opalescent baton (signed!) to irach Don't drop it. :-)
Ooofff! It's tough lugging that glass baton all the way from 57th and Fifth Avenue after a heavy breakfast at Tiffany's ... so let me pause and consider the next puzzle... ah, yes...ABSTRACT with a MINERAL connection.
A Tiffany design?
[Raak] Not a Tiffany design.
The title of somthing?
Fictional object(s)?
Is the mineral natural?
[cfm] Not a title per se, but has been used as a title on occasion.
[GLogin] Not fictional object(s).
[Dujon] The mineral component is made up of natural elements.
...Upon capitulation, there is also an element/aspect of "Animal", without which the overall abstract element would be incomplete.
A human invention?
[Tuj] I guess the words on the card qualify as "a human invention".
Begins with P?
...more straightforwardly.
[Tuj] If you ignore an indefinite article in the beginning, yes it does in fact begin with "P".
Related to the arts?
[ImNotJohn] Unrelated to the arts.
Paperweight?
A geographical feature?
Does the mineral connection appear as one or more of the words on the card?
[Software] Not a paperweight.
[Raak] Not a geographic feature.
[cfm] The mineral connection is one of the words on the card.
Is the mineral metal?
Picking up on the answer to Dujon
[ImNotJohn] Yes, the mineral component is metallic.
Is it gold?
[Raak] Not gold.
A precious metal?
[ImNotJohn] Not a precious metal.
Is the metal connection the word on the card that begins with P?
Any reference to a weapon?
Connected to a particular person or group of people?
Is it an article described in a work of fiction?
[cfm] It is the metal connection word on the card that begins with "P".
[ImNotJohn] Not weaponry related.
[Tuj] Connected to all people.
[Kim] The metallic article itself is often mentioned in numerous works of fiction; yet the words on the cards are not directly related to a work of fiction.
[Hint- A standard question often asked for "abstract" categories has not as yet been asked in this case].
Is it bigger than the concept of a toaster?
Was that the one you meant?
Is it smaller than a hypothetical phonebox?
Related to a state of mind or emotion?
Fictional?
A human concept?
[ImNotJohn] Not the question I was thinking of...nevertheless, the metallic object in question is (considerably) smaller than a toaster.
{GLogin] See response above.
[cfm} Yes, related to a state of mind or emotion! (The snoozing audience awakes!)
[Raak] Not fictional.
[imNotJohn] Yes, a human concept.
Angels dancing on the head of a pin?
[ImNotJohn] No celestials or pins (or needles) involved.
A metaphorical expression?
[Raak] Not quite metaphorical, but yes, a relatively commonly used expression (with a metallic connection,related to a state of mind or emotion).
A penny for your thoughts?
[cfm] The expression, "A penny for your thoughts", it is! A newly minted penny is handed over to cfm to reward this mental acuity.
Oh. Er...thank you, Irach. I will try not to spend it all in one place.
So this one is ANIMAL with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections
Human?
[CdM] No, not human.
Also, upon further reflection, I think I must revise to say this one is ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.
Toad-in-the-hole?
[Raak] No, no sausages involved.
Is at least one of the animal connections canine?
Begins with P?
[irach] No, no pups involved in either case.
[Tuj] No. And now I recall that I did promise. Ooops. :-(
Are either of the animals mammals?
Yes. Both are mammmals
Are either of the mammals ruminants?
Are either of the animals commonly eaten by humans?
*audience applauds politely*
[irach] Yes, one of the mammals is frequently ruminant.
[CdM] Yes, one of the mammals is commonly eaten by humans.
Is this the name of a dish?
Hamburger?
[Raak] No, no culinary connection
[Software] No, see above.
Is the abstract connection religious?
[Raak] No, not religious.
Does the word 'Cow', 'Cattle' 'Beef' or 'Steak' appear on the card?
[INJ] No, none of those words appear on the card.
Counting sheep jumping over a wooden stile/fence?
Is the animal alive, at least when it's being the thing on the card?
[irach] No (sheepishly).
[Raak] Depends which animal. No, the primary animal element is not alive when it's being the thing on the card. Yes, the animal connection is alive.
Is the non-ruminant mammal in question typically a predator of the ruminant one?
[irach] Yes, the non-ruminant animal often eats the ruminant animal.
Is the "non-ruminant" mammal that eats the ruminant mammal human?
Flogging a dead horse?
[irach] Yes! That non-ruminant mammal is human.
[Raak] No, not that common expression. Nor (hint) any other common expression.
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the human component a specific individual, or a class/group of person? [cfm] There is a little confusion here, because in the very start, in response to the first question you indicated the animal was not human. Did you change the original "words on the card" after capitulation?
[Raak] Yes. There is often a wood component.
[irach] The words on the card have not changed. The thing named on the card is not human. The animal connection noted from the beginning is human. Does that clarify?
No, not a specific individual nor a specific class or group of humans. However, in the sense that the humans are connected to the thing named on the card, they are involved in the same activity.
Is the vegetable paper?
[Raak]No. Paper is not involved. When there is a vegetable component, I believe it is safe to assume the vegetable is wood.
Is the the "primary animal element which is not alive when it's being the thing on the card" leather?
[irach] Yes, the element is leather. Simply stated :-)
A drum?
[Raak] No, not a drum. *a few rhythmic claps from the audience*
Some other sound-making instrument?
Tamborine?
[Raak] No. Not a sound making instrument.
[Software] No. Not a tambourine. *more claps and murmurs from the audience*
Is the leather stretched over a wooden frame?
Connected with dancing?
[Raak] No, the leather is not framed.
[Dujon] Yes, connected with dancing. *there is some dancing in the aisles*
Dancing shoes?
[Raak] No, that is not the answer. But yes, the thing named on the card could be characterized as a dancing shoe.
Surely not a leather clog, eee by gum?
[Software] No, not a leather clog.
Leather spats?
[irach] No, not spats. But you and Software and Raak might want to....er...you know....put your feet...wait...i mean...heads together.
Dancing spats?
Does the answer have another meaning which relates, for instance, to the movement of water?
Drum mallets?
[GL] No, not dancing spats.
[Dujon] No, there is no other meaning to the words on the card.
[Software] No, not drum mallets.
Here's what we know for sure -- that the words on the card represent an item made of leather and wood. The animal connection is human. The item(s) are connected with dancing and could even be characterized as dancing shoes. Drums and tambourines drew appreciative reactions from the audience. Do you think it might be helpful to explore some of the abstract connections?
Tap shoes?
Does the abstract term refer to a particular form of dancing, e.g. tap, flamenco, calypso?
[GL] No, not tap shoes.
[irach] Yes--although I am having a little bit of trouble with the word "refer" in your question. The abstract connection(s) call to mind a particular form of dancing, without naming it directly. The words on the card do so, as well.
Blue suede shoes?
[Raak] No. Not blue suede shoes. *audience applauds encouragingly*
Are the words on the card connected with a specific performance piece?
[Raak] No, they are not connected with a specific performance piece. However, they are connected with a specific style of performance piece.
Wooden heeled stiletto shoes for dancing tango?
Is the style specifically associated with one country?
Soft-shoe shuffle?
Reel shoes?
[irach] No, not that kind of shoe. But shoes for dancing is still a valid general concept.
I am not sure if this will be helpful but I think I should add a note that the words on the card name something that may also be constructed from synthetic materials.
[INJ] Yes. Originally, the style of performance piece was strongly associated with one country. Then performers in a second country made a very strong contribution and a second strong association was created.
[Chalky] No, not a soft shoe shuffle.
[Raak] No, not reel shoes.
Ballet shoes?
Bluegrass clog dancing?
[Chalky] No, not ballet shoes.
[irach] No, not bluegrass clog dancing or bluegrass clog dancing shoes. But you are getting warm geographically. :-)
South American?
[Raak] No, not South American.
Is the type of shoe in question generally (or exclusively) worn by a female dancer rather than a male one?
[irach] Yes, this particular style of footwear was far more likely to be worn by female dancers. I wouldn't swear to exclusively, though.
A form of dancing in the United States?
[irach] Yes, though not exclusively, the foremost association of the words on the card (and associated abstract concepts) is with the U.S.
Square dancing?
[Raak] No, not square dancing.
Can-can?
[irach] No-no, not the can-can (or can-can footwear.)
Flamenco dancing shoes?
Line Dancing?
[Software] No, not Flamenco dancing shoes. I think we covered that earlier.
[GL] No, not line dancing per se, though I believe there have been instances of this type of dance which involved lining up for a set of choreographed steps.
Here's a recap of what we presently know: the words on the card represent a type of footwear worn all but exclusively by women, while dancing in a particular way that is associated with another particular type of performance that is most closely associated with the United States but which also became associated with another country when performers from that country made a very strong contribution. Drums and tambourines drew favorable responses from the audience, which could suggest that what distinguishes the style of performance or dance is its rhythm or beat. You may also wish to consider that the kind of clothing worn on the foot is not always called a shoe. :-)
Footwear connected to belly dancing with drums and tambourines?
[irach] No, not related to belly-dancing.
Connected to salsa/mambo?
[irach] No, not connected to salsa, mambo, cha cha, tango or any other Latin-identified style.
(I'm getting the feeling that the words on the card never made it too far outside of the U.S.)
Related to any sort of African dancing?
[Raak] Yes. There is a strong African American influence/connection and I expect that influence traces back to Africa. *question engenders exuberant applause*
But definitely not clogs or taps?
I've googled this, and that's all I can find.
[Raak] No, not clogs or taps.
*Wonders, should I offer a few suggestions to the players? Is that how this works?*
Is the vegetable (often wood) connection previously referred to part of the footwear, or is it an entirely separate entity related to the words on the card?
[irach] The wood is not a separate thing; it is what the heel of the footwear often is or appears to made from.
I'll try "jazz dancing shoes" although the tambourine connection is rathe remote.
[irach] No, not jazz dancing shoes. The word "shoes" does not appear on the card at all.
pattens?
[Raak] No, not pattens. I had to look that one up; like the words on the card, they are not so much in fashion these days. Come to think, it might help to keep in mind that dancing, music and fashion all change with the times.
sabots?
Running out of synonyms for "clog"...
[Raak] No, not sabots. (Uhmmmm, did I say they were clogs?)
A type of sandal?
[Raak] No, not a sandal. *audience applauds this line of inquiry nonetheless*
A boot?
Stilts or something similar that raises the participant a distance off the ground?
I'm pretty certain this is going to be a subject that would annoy Rosie;-)
[CdM] Yes. A boot. *audience cheers as if its team has just won the world cup*
[INJ] No, not stilts. But yes, I have been expecting the hand of Rosie to come and smite me any moment now. :-)
Buskins?
[Raak] No, not buskins.
Gumboots?
[Chalky] No, not gumboots. *a minor hullabaloo, however, arises from the audience*
Related to Mariachi/zapateado?
Related to cheerleading?
[INJ] No, not related to Mariachi/zapataedo.
[Raak] Yes, I can think of at least one professional cheer leading squad I associate with this footwear. (However, the footwear was originally more connected with the runway than with running backs.) *Texans in the audience nod, approvingly*
Gaucho boots?
[Chalky] No, not gaucho boots.
Sequined cowgirl boots ( a la Dallas Cowboys' cheerleaders? thigh-high, or otherwise?)
Ballet shoes?
[irach] No, not sequined cowboy boots. (but the DCC connection is a good one...)
[software] No, not ballet shoes.
Were these boots in fashion in the second half of the twentieth century?
(picking up on your fashion comment earlier)
[CdM] Yes, originiated in the mid-20th century. *audience members rock in their seats! roll in the aisles!*
Go-go boots?
Not sure why I keep guessing - I have no desire to be in the chair next time round. Guess I'm intrigued ... and if the solution turns out to be ridiculously obscure ... I can then 'do a Rosie' [sans swearage] :-D
[Calky] Hallelujah, yes! *gratefully passes one white patent leather baton to Chalky (while doing the Froog)*
None the wiser
Can't find any reference to these as either dance-specific or made of leather and wood (wikipedia refers to them in purely fashion terms and often/mostly made of plastic - which is what I would have guessed). Can someone point me at a helpful reference. Not annoyed, you understand, I just stopped guessing because I'd explored everything I could given the information available and I'd like to know how I could have got there.
Oh, and:
[INJ] Alas, I didn't check wikipedia before I chose the words on the card. My bad--I will remember to do so should I ever be handed the baton again. I relied on my memory of my first pair of go go boots: they where white patent leather and had a stacked wooden heel. I believe I answered the question about dancing shoes early on by saying the the item on the card could be characterized as a dancing shoe without saying it was a dancing shoe directly; I thought I was giving the best answer possible. Later when I realized that it was limiting everyone's thinking, I tried to draw attention to the fashion connection. I was surprised how few questions focused on the style of music connected with the dancing (particularly after some pretty direct hits and/or hints e.g. American-originated, distinguished by its beat, African American influence, etc.) or (until CdM) inquired whether the shoes were currently or historically popular. Anyway--while I am very glad you are not annoyed, INJ--still I am apologetic. This was a round of Painfully Difficult AVMA. Sorry.
Oh...and
Ah ... Ooo-Kaaaaay
Thanks cfm - don't feel you have to apologise. It's tough in the chair.

I'll have a go ...

ANIMAL, MINERAL & VEGETABLE
Is it unique?
I could have sworn I posted this helpful reference for INJ yesterday, but I guess I must have hit preview instead of stand, or something.
Noah's Ark?
[irach] Surely that would be ANIMAL, ANIMAL, MINERAL, and VEGETABLE?
[CdM] Is it unique? YES
[irach] Noah's Ark? NO :)
Is it extant?
[cfm] I've genuinely learnt a couple of things1 from your question, so no need to apologise.

1. Although it's at least partly my era I didn't know that go-go was actually a style and I didn't know the boots had any descriptive name.

[CdM] Not that helpful a reference to look up in an open office!

Begins with P?
Bad news, I'm back...
[INJ] Extant? YES
[Tuj] P-word? NO
Salty bacon crisps?
Edible?
Would one wear it?
Unique?
Primarily a decorative object (vs. ulititarian)?
Unique?
Hang on that's been asked twice already. Make that... Man made?
[Raak] Salty bacon crisps? NO :)
[irach] Edible? NO
[Software] Wearable? NO
[cfm] Primarily decorative as opposed to utilitarian? NO - mostly utilitarian
[GL] Man made? In the main - YES.
Made of leather, wood, and metal fixings?
*cough* Unique?
A piece of furniture or home furnishing?
Is the vegetable wood?
[Tuj] It was unique when CdM asked I doubt that has changed.
Fictional?
[Raak] Made of leather, wood, and metal fixings? The wording of your question requires a NO answer, even though leather, wood and metal are all components of this.
[Tuj] YES - still unique :)
[irach] Furniture/home furnishing - NO, not alone [although your question prompts a murmur from the very sleepy audience]
[GL] Wood? YES - wood is one of the vegetably bits of this
[cfm] Fictional? NO
Would it be used in an office?
[Raak] Used in an office? NO. Definitely not used. It might be contemplated when in an office, but then I expect most things are ..
Does it move - i.e. change location?
[INJ] Move/change location? NO *audience nods approval for question*
Uniq-... Is it for entertainment?
Do any of the elements operate upon or effect the other elements in some way?
Does it have moving parts?
Bigger than a phone box?
[Tuj] Entertainment? NO not really ... aw, maybe in some respects but - my reply really won't help.
[cfm] Elements effecting/affecting each other? Oh YES - absolutely.
[Raak] Moving parts? YES
[GL] Bigger than a phone box? YES - massively so.

*is wondering if the word ABSTRACT should have been part of the opening clue*
A manufacturing facility of some kind?
[cfm] Manufacturing facility? Forms part of this - yes.
Located in Europe?
Is leather the only animal element?
Life, the Universe and Everything?
Do some of the various moving parts (particularly the mineral components) need periodic lubrication for their proper functioning?
Is it a factory?
[CdM] Located in Europe? NO *audience vociferous in their approval of a CdM question*
[cfm] Leather only animal element? NO
[INJ] LtUaE? Life and Most things might be found within this :)
[irach] Lubrication? I expect so - but knowing this isn't particularly useful.
[Raak] Factory? The answer on the card is NOT a factory, although factories are part of the answer [as are moving parts and lubrication] ;-)
Does it have to do with extracting resources from the ground?
Is it in North America?
Is it a country?
Is the other animal element human? *wonders why CdM warrants cheering and if the rest of us are chopped liver*
... sorry for absence - holiday time, etc.
[Raak] Extracting resources? Not really NO
[Tuj] N America? NO *audience applauds this line of questioning*
[GL] A country? NO ... but *audience sees no need to hold back ...*
[cfm] Human? YES! *... claps, cheers and wild excitement accompany the reply to cfm's question*
Is it located in a single continent?
Is it at sea?
Is it a planet?
[CdM] Located in a single continent? YES
[Raak] At sea? NO - assuming I have grasped your gist .. ahem
[GL] A planet? NO
Is just one type of item produced at the manufacturing facility or are there many?
[cfm] I think the phrase 're-examine your assumptions' has been used in this game when it's fairly clear that a player is not moving in the right direction. Apologies if, by inaccurate replies, I have misled you. Having said that - I owe you an answer:

[cfm] Many types of items are likely to be produced at the manufacturing facilities which are likely to be a part of the answer. :-)
Is it a city?
[Chalky] You can grasp my gist any time. :-)
So, bearing in mind that the item is unique and yet is only _likely_ to encompass a manufacturing facility/factory, does that mean that the composition of thing on the card changes over time? It evolves?
Allelulia!
[Raak] A City? A City! YES - yes - it's a city *audience collectively faints with relief*
[cfm] Sort of YES to everything you said - and now you know what you're looking for ... name that city :-)
Does it have more than 5 million inhabitants*
*defining the city in terms that would be generally understood -- i.e., including a surrounding metropolitan area if appropriate.
Is it in Japan?
[CdM] 5m +? YES indeed
[Raak] In Japan? NO
In Asia?
Carrying on the process of elimination
[CdM] correction to above ... Just under 5 million incl surround but still classified as a Metropolitan City.
Sydney?
[INJ] In Asia? YES
[GL]. Sydney? NO
In China?
Singapore?
In East Asia?
[cfm] In China? NO
[Raak] Singapore? NO
[INJ] East Asia? YES! *thunderous applause from audience*
South-East Asia?
Keeping going on this line.
[INJ] SE Asia? NO - which should narrow things down .. :-)
In Korea (either half)?
[Raak] In Korea? YES :-)
Pyongyang?
Busan?
[Raak] Not Pyongyang oop north because ...
[CdM]... BUSAN it is! [my eldest has just returned from a wonderful year there teaching primary school age kids]

*hands the shiny clean and impeccably-mannered baton to CdM*
Oops, sorry, busy day.

MINERAL and VEGETABLE with various ANIMAL connections. Or possibly ABSTRACT with MINERAL, VEGETABLE and ANIMAL connections
A zoological park?
A tool?
?
A song?
A zoo? No
A tool? No
?? !!
A song? No.
Human construct?
Human construct? Very definitely.
A phrase or saying?
Would it fit inside a kitchen drawer?
A book?
To do with music?
A sporting activity?
A building?
Phrase or saying? No.
Kitchen drawer? No. *laughter*
Book? No.
Music? No.
Sport? No.
Building? Yes. *applause*
In UK?
Built before 1900?
In UK? and Built before 1900? Here is where I need to remind you that I equivocated about defining this as abstract. Neither question really makes sense. (However, I can say that it has its origins in the UK before 1900.)
I should also perhaps add that there are certainly connections to books and music. I wouldn't have found them helpful, but some here might, I suppose. This is the kind of thing where Wikipedia has a long list of references in popular culture/examples in modern society.
A type of building?
A museum?
Does (or did) the thing on the card have an actual physical presence?
Is this a fictional building?
Did a specific person (or people) live there?
Type of building? Yes *applause*
Museum? No (although there are some connections).
Actual physical presence? *audience applause for the question* The answer is debatable. I'm going to go with a qualified Yes.
Fictional? No (although there are certainly fictional connections).
Specific person or people live there? No, not exactly. Depends what you mean by "specific", I suppose.
A palace?.
An industrial type of building?
Palace? No. *ironic laughter from audience*
Industrial? No. (Or at least only if you were to take a very broad definition of the term.)
Related to the area known as St. George's Fields?
Related to St George's Fields? No.
Related to farming?
Agricultural? No.
Are there several of these?
Are there several of these? Well, as my earlier answer to cfm suggests, it is debatable whether there is (or was) even one of these. But I will again answer with a qualified Yes.
Does this maybe building have religious significance?
Is it mythical?
BC?
Does it have a metaphorical meaning?
(as for 'Skid Row')
Religious significance? No.
Mythical? No.
BC? No.
Metaphorical? Interesting question. I think it's more concrete and not as obviously metaphorical as your example. As against that, the Wikipedia article on this does include a section entitled "The P__________ as Metaphor", so the answer is clearly Yes. (I was/am more aware of the literal meaning, but it is possible that others here are more aware of metaphorical senses; I don't know.)
A Panopticon?
The Poorhouse?
Yes! Following on my pantechnicon when I was last in the chair, this was Jeremy Bentham's revolutionary prison design that allows a single guard to observe all the prisoners. (It's still not clear what the single guard does when he observes all the prisoners rioting, mind you.)

*hands Raak a baton that, rather curiously, can be seen on all sides at once from a single vantage point*
MINERAL, with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.
The Bastille?
Not the Bastille.
larger that the toaster unit?
Larger than a toaster.
Begins with a P?
Does not begin with P.
Is the mineral component largely or entirely metal?
[irach] Yes, mostly metal.
A precious metal?
Not precious.
Bigger than a phone box?
Unique?
Unique?
Er. Sorry. That was not a unique question.
A statue?
[GL] Smaller than a phone box.
[Twins] Unique.
[INJ] Not a statue.
A sculpture?
[CdM] Not a sculpture.
Does it have moving parts?
[INJ] No moving parts.
Man-made?
Found in a domestic environment?
Is the associated animal human?
[jim] Man-made.
[Chalky] Not found at home.
[INJ] The animal is human.
Associated with a single, specific individual?
[CdM] Not associated with a specific individual.
In Europe?
[Tuj] In Europe.
Of scientific significance?
[CdM] No scientific significance.
A pillar box?
[Software] Not a pillar box.
BTW, I've complained in the past that "ABSTRACT" is over-used, and I may have been guilty of that myself here. Pretty much everything has "abstract connections", and I don't think this is especially connected to the abstract. Just a unique object of non-precious metal, somewhere in Europe, with animal connections.
Smaller than a toaster?
[irach] (Still) bigger than a toaster.
Is the non-metal mineral part made of stone?
I'll include stony stuff like brick & concrete in that.
[INJ] Not stony.
In the UK?
[Tuj] In the UK!
A fountain?
Not a fountain.
Is this of historical importance?
In England?
It's Friday afternoon, I'm not up to thinking of original questions.
Is it partly constructed of wrought iron?
Is the non-metal mineral part glassy or crystalline?
Anything from a pane of glass to the Cullinan
[INJ] History has not yet spoken, but I expect the actual object will not be of historical significance.
[jim] In England at the moment.
[CdM] No wrought iron.
[INJ] No glass or crystals.
Olympic torch?
*riotous cheering as Software crosses the finishing line* To be precise, the "London 2012 Olympic Torch", but I doubt that anyone cares where the 2011 torch is now (see last but one answer to INJ). Have this gold medal embossed with the Tube map and stand on the podium, please, while the band plays the ISIHAC theme.
[Raak] Yeah. I can hardly remember a thing about the 2011 Olympics. (Excellent choice of subject, btw.)
How Many?
Just to clarify the 'unique' question - there will in fact be over 8000 olympic torches used in the torch relay - each bearer will have their own (which they can then buy). On the other hand, there is only one in the stadium. Mind you, I only found all that out today.
[INJ] I was going from this official page, which suggests there's just one.
[Raak] Yes - philosophically there's only one. However, to be mischievous, there's a picture on that page with 4 torches being held up. I also believe that on the route at any one time there will be 5 torches - one being carried and 4 in the support vehicles in case of malfunction, theft, vandalism, etc.
I think, however, that saying YES to the 'Unique?' question was probably the right answer, or the least confusing one, since at any one time only the torch being carried by a bearer is the Olympic Torch.
[Software] Come on in and stop this discussion - it's not really going anywhere;-)
Who? Me?
Well, then let's go for: ANIMAL with VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.
A draft animal?
Mammal?
Begins with K?
A Human?
Unique?
or unique-ish
The head of Eric Morecambe - Pipe Smoker of the Year 1970?
[Raak] No
[cfm] Yes
[Tuj] No
[GL] Yes
[INJ] Yes
[Chalks] Excellent attempt at a unique human, but No.
Is the unique human still alive?
A sportsperson?
Associated with the arts?
Are the connections associated with food?
Is this a two-word answer?
Thanks Softers - but I did not know it was either 'Unique' or 'Human' when I asked the question ...
... while I'm here, may I humble suggest that you reference the question itself when replying. I'm having to do a double look to see which 'yes' or 'no' applies to which question and I have little enough time to come in here and play as it is. Thanks.
[cfm] living homo sap - NO (BTW, your moniker reminds me of a long defunct IT company)
[Duj] sporty - NO
[INJ] arty farty - Best answer is probably YES
[Raak] nosh - NO
[Chalky] two wordy -YES (your wish is my command)
A male human?
Alive in the 20th century?
Related to the performing arts?
Involved with music?
Died before 1950?
Thanks.
[cfm] Male - YES
[INJ] Performer - YES
[jim] Musical - YES
[Chalks] 20th Century death - NO
But was he alive in the 20th century??
[CdM] Post Victorian - YES
Was he a member of a popular beat combo?
Michael Jackson?
Are the vegetable and mineral connections the instrument he played?
[INJ] Group member - NO
[cfm] Jacko - NO
[Raak] veg/min - YES
In the Western classical tradition?
Plays a wind instrument?
[INJ] Classical - NO
[cfm] windy - NO
Ray Charles?
Was he also a vocalist?
USian?
Guitar?
Died in the 70s?
[GL] Ray - NO
[CdM] Singer - NO slight murmuring from audience
[ING] Yank - NO
[Raak] Guitar - YES audience claps
[Tuj] Life on Mars departure - NO
Died in the last 5 years?
A classical guitarist?
Andrés Segovia?
Bert Weedon?
Author of 'Play MC in a Day'
You OK Softers?
Sorry for the delay, for some reason yesterday's answers disappeared into the ether
[GL] Recent deceased - YES
[Chalks] - Classical - NO audience stirs
[irach] Segovia - NO (see above)
[INJ] is on the money - YES! The late great Bert of the "learn in a day" fame. Even I tried that but never got past strumming.
[Chalks] - yes, thank you.

* Hands plectrum shaped baton over to INJ *

Why, thank you.
Moving on to ANIMAL and MINERAL or, for some points of view ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections
A human construct beginning with P that is bigger than a toaster but smaller than a phonebox and that has anarchosyndicalist connections?
The drinking horn of Sigismund of Luxemburg?
Associated with religion?
[CdM] - NO (apart from the bits that are YES)
[Raak] Horny Letzeburger? - NO
[cfm] Religious connection? - NO
Two word answer?
A human construct beginning with P?
(OK, OK, I'll break it down)
Bigger than a phone box?
[Chalky] Gimme 2? - NO.
[CdM]Pconstruct? - pNO
[GL] Exceeds phone box? - YES. *audience laughter*
A human construct that has no anarchosyndicalist connections?
Triangulating.
[CdM] A human construct that has no anarchosyndicalist connections? - NO (though I suppose that depends on your definition of 'a human construct')
Obfuscating
Is it descriptive of a group of people
Unique?
[Chalky] Describes a group of people? - NO, *a few murmurs in the audience*
[Tuj] Unique? - YES
Does the physical thing have a symbolic function?
[Raak] Physical/Symbolic - OK, the simple answer to your question is NO, but actually I probably need to clarify what I meant when setting this.
You can regard the words on the card as being purely physical with an animal element plus a mineral element (and I think that's the best way to approach it). However, within the constraints of the game I could quite reasonably say that this is an abstract thing, though still related to exactly the same animal and mineral elements - in either case if you get them, you have the answer. Hope that helps.
Bigger than your typical two-up-two-down?
[Raak] Exceeds a house? - Oh YES
Bigger than a city?
Is the animal human?
Is it in a specific country?
Some assumptions building up...
[GL] Exceeds a city? - YES
[Raak] Human animal? - YES and NO (more YES than NO)
[Tuj] Specific Country? - NO
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
Bigger than Wales?
[Chalky] Saying? - NO
[Raak] Exceeds Wales? - YESish. - One of the elements of the answer is bigger than Wales - the answer itself is hard to put a size to.
BTW I should have mentioned that the audience perked up a bit at Tuj's last question.
Is the mineral element water?
Is the human element the entire population of the world including those with anarchosyndicalist tendencies?
[Chalky] Watery mineral? - NO
[CdM] Globality? - NO (can't answer for the anarchosyndicalism, but unlikely to be significant)
Related to mining?
Is it associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Mining-related? - NO
[Tuj] Related to specific country? - NO, not to one particular country *some applause for the line of questioning*
Is this one thing distributed over more than one continent?
[Raak] Is this one thing distributed over more than one continent? - NO (or more precisely: NO, not really and NO)
European?
On Earth?
[Raak] European? - YES
[Chalky] On Earth - Unsurprisingly, YES
Is the mineral element metal?
[Chalky] Metal? - Almost entirely NO
Is the mineral element rock?
The entire population of Europe?
(er, and the land beneath their feet)
[Chalky] Rocky? - YES *some relieved applause*
[CdM] All Europe? (& Europeans) - NO *audience subsides*
A mountain range?
At last
[GL] - Mountain range? - YES, a mountain range is part of the answer *considerable applause*
Is the human part alive?
*is wondering why no Vegetable element was part of the original poser - -given that mountain ranges would usually have vegetation about their person - *
making some progress
[Raak] Living human - NO
[Chalky] I did consider it, but thought it wouldn't really be very helpful. A bit like saying a person is animal and mineral because they have mercury amalgam fillings in their teeth.
Are prehistoric fossils involved?
[Raak] Fossils? - NO
Do you need a leg-up?
I think you're closer to it than it feels.
War graves?
Are the Alps part of the answer?
Well, there's only a finite number of mountain ranges in Europe...
[Raak] War Graves? - NO *a slight stirring in the audience*
[jim] Alps? - YES - the Alps are the mineral part of the answer *applause*
Dead mountaineers?
[Raak] Ex-climbers? Well, YES and YESish, but NO, not as it applies to the answer.
Otzi The Iceman?
Does it begin with P?
[Chalky] The Iceman Cometh? - NO (But you do need to start sorting out the animal bit now)
[CdM] P.......? - NO
Hannibal crossing the Alps with his elephants?
It randomly popped into my head ...
I didn't think it was THAT hard
We have a winner!
It is exactly as jim said: Hannibal's crossing of the Alps
The abstract side of it being that it is an action or event rather than a thing.
Have an ivory baton, sir.
I say, well done.
Damn. I thought of that before my previous move, but then dismissed it because I thought we had established the animal element as (fully) human. I should read more carefully.
Takes ivory baton quickly and hides it before the animal rights people get wind of it.
Thanks! Hmm. Now I have to think of a clue, don't I? OK, have an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Is the animal connection human?
Is the animal connection elephant?
[INJ] YES, human.
[Tuj] NO, non-pachydermic.
A particular human?
Is there any connection with the arts?
Begins with P?
A fictional human?
A dead human?
[Raak] A qualified YES--there is more than one human associated with the answer, but one in particular stands out.
[INJ] YES, in a more or less broad sense of "the arts".
[Tuj] YES, give or take a definite article, begins with P.
[GL] YES, there is a particular fictional human association (although again not unique).
[Chalky] YES, in that the human alluded to in my answer to Raak is dead.
Is the abstract portion of the question a field of endeavour?
Is there a musical connection?
A phrase or saying?
[Dujon] NO, not a field of endeavour
[INJ] NO, no musical connection (or one too tenuous to be useful)
[Software] NO, not a phrase or saying.
Related to a particular work (or works) of fiction?
The Piltdown Man?
[Tuj] YES, related to a work of fiction.
[Chalky] NO, not Piltdown Man.
The Penguin (from Batman)?
The Patrician?
[Software] NO, not the Penguin
[GL] NO, not the Patrician either.
Is the answer the title of a book?
[INJ] YES, in that the words on the card form the title of several books; NO, in that none of the books with this title is the answer (although at least one is directly related).
science fiction genre?
... then I can butt out if the answer is yes ..
[Chalky] That's quite difficult to say. There are certainly science-fictional elements, but I wouldn't place the answer as a whole within the science fiction genre. I'm sure some would disagree, though.
The name of a series of books?
(e.g. The Alexandria Quartet)
[INJ] Again, YES, but the book series is not the answer.
First half of 20th Century?
[Software] NO, not first half of 20th Century.
Please can you confirm that there is NO connection with the Harry Potter series?
Is the author still alive?
[Chalky] NO, I cannot categorically deny any connection with Harry Potter. I mean, the HP franchise runs to getting on for a million words[1] and eight movies, it's quite likely that she slipped a reference in there somewhere. But if there is a connection, a) it's pretty tenuous and b) I'm not aware of it.
[INJ] NO, in so far as the AOTC can be said to have "an author", not alive.
[1]Wild-assed estimate.
is Religion relevant?
[Chalky] With such a broad question I think we have to begin by defining our terms carefully: we need to decide, for one thing, whether our discussion is restricted to organised religions, or whether we are willing to adopt a more all-encompassing definition that includes notions of personal spirituality (as a side issue, we might also ask whether there is a difference between religion and, as you chose to express it, Religion with a capital R); for another, we need to think about whether we mean merely relevant to certain individuals (surely not the meaning we want to adopt, for otherwise the question must be trivially answered in the affirmative), or whether we mean relevant to society, history, the body politic, the social order, or something else; and if any of the latter, then precisely which aspects of society, and what criteria for "relevance" are appropriate? If we take as a starting point the notion that --

Oh wait. Never mind. As you were.
[CdM/Chalky] I was just going to say "NO", but whatever ... :)
Stony silence
Do we need a clue, or is everyone still thinking?
Is the human connection "who stands out" known as a leader of some kind?
Is the word that begins with P a title?
[CdM] NO, the principal (real, dead) human connection is not a leader.
[Raak] NO, not a title (or at least, not an "official" title e.g. "The Prince", although it does describe a person without being a name).
Was the AOTC known of in the year 1900?
[Boolbar] NO, not known of in the year 1900.
Is it a TV series?
Just trying to eliminate some thoughts in my head.
[Boolbar] YES, it is a TV series! Audience applause
The Prisoner?
Winner!
[Chalky] YES! It is The Prisoner (the original TV series, of course). The "outstanding" real-life human being of course Patrick McGoohan; the principal fictional connection the Prisoner himself. I don't think JK Rowling slipped a Prisoner reference into the Harry Potter series anywhere, but I wouldn't put it past her.
One baton with the number 6 engraved on it goes to Chalky.
Well done Chalky!
Yes, we should have done better with that - nothing wrong with the subject or the answers.
What a surprise - thank you :)
Dipping into my special box of Answers On Cards - this found its way into my hand ..

ANIMAL & MINERAL & VEGETABLE with a strong ABSTRACT element

- just to keep it simple
Begins with P?
If we were playing this game in 1900, would this have been in your special box then?
Is it a location?
[Tuj] Begins with P? Ha - YES partly
[Boolbar] 1900 - the year not the hour? YES
[ImNotJohn] Location? NO .. but *audience mumbles a bit*
Is the audience mumbling because this thing is at a specific location associated with it?
Such as Nelson's Column not being a location, as such.
[Raak] Reasons for mumbling? NO 'fraid not
Is the animal element human?
... or at least partly human.
[Boolbar] Human? YES
Is it associated with a series of locations?
Is it a historical event?
Is the animal, mineral, vegetable part the planet Earth?
A specific individual thing?
[Tuj] Associated with a series of locations? NO
[ImNotJohn] An historical event? NO
[Boolbar] AVM planet earth? NO
[Raak] Specific individual thing? It's specific but only in the way that most AOTC are. Do you mean a one-off? If so - NO
Naturally occurring?
In the 19th Century?
Is this something I can experience today?
Is it something that can be visited?
[Tuj] Naturally occurring? NO
[Software] In the 19th century??? I think NO may be the answer to whatever it is you meant :)
[Boolbar] Experience today? YES
[ImNotJohn] Visitorable? NO
Does it involve eating food?
I am hungry.
[Boolbar] NO - it does not involve eating food
Does it involve a crowd?
Is it associated with entertainment?
[Rosie] Involve a crowd? YES - it can do. Good question :)
[Tuj] Associated with entertainment? YES - very much so
*audience applauds progress made from last two questions*
Is there any singing involved?
Associated with a particular country or region?
Does it involve a sporting activity?
[Boolbar] Singing involved? NO
[ImNotJohn] Country or regional associations? YES - absolutely - particularly in its origin
[Raak] Sporting activity? No - well ... NO *wry chuckles from audience*
A form of dancing?
Sorry I'm late.
Morris dancing?
[Dujon] Dancing? NO
... therefore [Raak] Not even Morris Dancing
A foxhunt?
[Rosie] Foxhunt? NO
Essentially rural?
[Rosie] Rural? NO - whatever gave you that idea? ;-)
Is it a play?
Is it associated with somewhere in Europe?
[Boolbar] A play? NO
[Tuj] Europe? Originally ... NO
*audience snoozes*
... again
I would like to adjust one of my replies to ImNotJohn who asked "Visitorable?" and I replied unequivocally in the negative.
On reflection, the AOTC, if not exactly visitorable, is certainly - spectatorable.
This may help.
Is it originally associated with somewhere in Asia?
Outdoors?
(Chalks) I was hoping to confirm that the answer was Cheese Rolling.
[Boolbar] Asia? NO
[Rosie] Outdoors? NO - not usually. However ..
*audience wakes up with an anticipatory start*
[Rosie] Cheese rolling? NO - but closer than some of the guesses so far :-)
Is it originally associated with somewhere in the Americas?
I've eliminated having a picnic, Punch & Judy and panda breeding so far.
A Pastime?
[Boolbar] Americas? YES!
[ImNotJohn] Pastime? Yes - mainly .. YES [rather a quaint word - pastime. I had to check on the meaning]
*Audience ready to shout and scream and generally go wild for the winner*
Poker?
Does it involve a ball?
If it doesn't then I'm going on strike.
Is food involved?
[ImNotJohn] Boolbar asked that question way back up there ^^^ and I said NO then :)
[Boolbar] Balls? NO
[Raak] YES - and the rest of the AOTC is .... ? [3 or 4 words]

No-one else will be allowed to nick this one - it's got Raak's name all over it ..
*Audience on their feet ready to jump about quite a lot ...*
Five-cadr Draw Poker? Stud Poker? Texas Hold-em? Red Dog?
Strip? Pai gow? Mexican Stud? Seven-card Razz? High Chicago?
The Poker World Series?
Chips All Round!
Well played Raak - t'would've been churlish indeed to allow someone else to slip in there with the precise AOTC Texas Hold Em Poker [currently and universally the most popular form of the game - which handily explains that location reference the audience got a bit mumbly about]

No-one picked up on my CLUE when introducing this one and I quote:
"Dipping into my special box of Answers On Cards - this found its way into my hand ..."
But then - a clue is only a clue if one knows it's there.
*hands over a baton made of 50 x stuck together $1000 chips*
Nice one Raak! I was thinking of ten-pin bowling but couldn't really tie it in with the location hint.
The next is MINERAL.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique!
Metal?
[GL] Mainly metal.
Located in the Eastern hemisphere?
[CdM] *murmuring in the audience* Not in the Eastern hemisphere.
Is it in London?
[Boolbar] Not in London.
Is it on Earth?
Is it larger than the Airbus A380?
Is it human-made?
Well, that narrows it down.
[Tuj] *applause* Not on Earth.
[Chalky] Smaller than an Airbus.
[Boolbar] Human-made.
Is it less than 2 AU from the Sun?
[Boolbar] Less than 2 AU from the Sun.
On the moon?
In orbit around the Earth?
[INJ] Not on the moon.
[BB] Not in orbit around the Earth.
A spacecraft that has crashed into either Mars or Venus?
An asteroid?
[Rosie] *applause* Not a spacecraft that has crashed into either Mars or Venus.
[Software] Not an asteroid.
On or orbiting Mars?
[jim] Yes! On or orbiting Mars!
I confidently expect to see the right answer tomorrow morning.
The Mars Odyssey craft?
Or one of the other handful.
Spirit or Opportunity?
[Rosie] Nor the Odyssey.
[CdM} Yes! Spirit or Opportunity. But which one?
Count me out
I'll be incommunicado for the full 4 days of the weekend so I refuse to guess.
Actually, one of the earlier answers is enough to decide the matter, with a bit of research.
Opportunity?
I think that's right.
[CdM] Yes! Mars does have a meridian defined, according to which Spirit is in the Eastern Hemisphere, Opportunity in the Western. *passes CdM a spare robot arm*
[Raak] So if I had asked, "Located in the Western hemisphere?", you would have answered yes, and we would have been chasing wild geese for a long time.

ANIMAL with VEGETABLE connections
A boar's head with an apple in its mouth?
Roast kid goat with anchovies, rosemary and lemon?
oh, so close
Sundry banquet items? No. (Also, both of those include vegetables, rather than simply having vegetable connections.)
Is the animal human?
Well someone has to ask a boring question.
Jasper Carrott?
Unique?
Percy Thrower?
Woodworm?
Human? No.
Jasper Carrott? No.
Unique? No.
Percy Thrower? No.
Woodworm? No. *smattering of applause*
Does the vegetable connection refer to the animal's diet?
Is the animal a mammal?
Death Watch beetle?
Stick insect?
Vegetable = diet? Yes. *applause*
Mammal? No.
Death watch beetle? No.
Stick insect? No.
Is it a bird?
A woodpecker?
Bird? No.
Woodpecker? The answer to this question is left as an exercise for the reader.
Woody Woodpecker?
*ignores The Reader*
Is the Animal portion an insect?
Just for clarification purposes, like. :)
Animal = insect? Yes.
A locust?
Locust? No.
Is it an insect with a vegetable in its name?
A fruit fly?
Among the lepidoptera?
Veg in name? No.
Fruit fly? No. *brief smattering of applause*
Butterfly? No.
Does this insect have a particular liking for cellulose?
Taste for cellulose? No. (If anything, perhaps the opposite, although I may be over-interpreting what I have read.)
As usual, there are other ways of approaching this AVMA rather than just guessing at insects.
Is any part of this insect used as a foodstuff?
Insect used as foodstuff? No.
Begins with P?
Is the vegetable connection to its diet?
Does the insect have wings?
Begins with P? It most certainly does.
Vegetable = diet? Still Yes.
Insect have wings? Yes.
Actually...
The "does it have wings?" question really deserves a more detailed answer. This particular insect has a rather complicated life-cycle which includes several different stages; in one of these stages it may have wings.
Does the answer on the card live out all its life cycles on land? (as opposed to, say, a mosquito.)
Live on land? Yes. (Except for when it is flying, obviously.)
Clarification/correction: I answered "No" to the question about whether the insect has a vegetable in its name. The technical term for this insect does in fact include a reference to a vegetable item. Non-technical references to this insect can also include a vegetable item, but more usually do not.
Is it a beetle?
John Peul George or Ringo? No.
Is it a social insect?
Is the insect destructive to vegetable gardens/crops?
Social insect? You mean, like ants or bees? No.
Destructive to gardens/crops? Yes. *applause*
Plant lice?
Aphids? No (although I have seen this described as a "louse", and there is also *prolonged applause*).
The leaf-cutter ant?
Leaf-cutter ant? No. *audience subsides back into their seats*
Potato moth?
Potato moth? No.
Passion vine bug?
Phylloxera?
Enthusiasm brings reward...
Dactylosphaera vitifoliae (Phylloxera) is the correct answer! I think cfm deserved that, since she (?) did most of the heavy lifting and got very close earlier with aphid (correct phylum, class, order, and suborder...)
*hands cfm baton that has been grafted onto resistant N. American rootstock*
*examines baton carefully for signs of infestation* Thank you.
This next one is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL AND VEGETABLE CONNECTIONS
Any artistic connection?
[INJ] A qualified yes to that, employing a somewhat broad definition of art.
Related to food?
Musical connections?
[Tuj] Delicious and nutricious? NO -- or, at best, only in a fairly obscure and not-very-helpful way.
[CdM] Give it a 9 and dance to it? NO.
Is the animal human?
A human invention?
Is it something I can experience now?
Does it begin with U X A R P?
[INJ] YES, the strongest animal connection is human, though I can think of other animal connections.
[Tuj] YES, hence the strong human connection.
[Boolbar] YES, it is a contemporary concept.
[CdM] YES, it does indeed begin with P.
*loud applause...several audience members faint, overcome by the excitement of so many yes-es in a row*
Is it an essentially technological invention?
Was it known of in the year 1900?
A culinary invention?
[INJ] NO, not tech-y.
[Boolbar] YES, it was known in 1900.
[Raak]NO, still unrelated to food, except in an obscure, symbolic way.
Related to architecture?
[Raak] Architectural? NO. That would be Frank Lloyd Wrong :)
Is the strongest animal connection to a particular individual?
[CdM] NO. Not to an individual.
Fictional?
*proffers smelling salts to remaining audience members yet to come round*
Is this a group of people with something in common?
Is it a method of creating something?
An area of knowledge?
[Tuj] NO, the thing is quite real.
[Chalky] NO, the thing is abstract with animal and vegetable connections, not in and of itself animal.
[Boolbar] Tough one. But I think the best answer is NO, not a method. But creating is a relevant concept.
[INJ, NO, not an area of knowledge.
Related to a craft?
[INJ] YES, related to a craft. *enthusiastic applause ensues*
Does it involve writing?
Does it involve painting?
Does it end in "ism"?
[Raak] NO, not made with words.
[Boolbar] NO, no paint required.
[Tuj] NO, not a P-ism. :-)
Is it a particular method or style of creating something?
[Tuj] See my answer to Boolbar's earlier question. NO. It is not a method. But style is a relevant concept as well.
Does religion have any relevance to this?
Some sort of weaving?
Fashion?
[Chalky] YES, there is an ancient religious connection--though ti seems that's the case with everything. :-) .
[Raak]YES, the item can be related to weaving.
[Tuj] YES, there is a fashion association.*audience swoons once again*
Is there a connection to clothing?
Fancy dress?
Is it just the one word beginning with P on the card?
[Boolbar] YES. Connected to clothing.
[Raak] YES. And NO. By that I mean not necessarily and not always associated with fanciness.
[Chalky] YES. There is single word on the card.
Pattern?
Pinstripe?
[CdM] NO. Pattern is not the word on the card. But it is a relevant concept. *enthusiastic applause from the audience*
[GL] NO. Not pinstripe. *lingering applause nonetheless*
IS the AOTC a name of a pattern often found on clothing?
[Boolbar] YES! It is a pattern found on clothing! *audience knows it's just a matter of time now until the other shoe drops and relapses into its regularly scheduled apathy
Plaid?
Houndstooth?
[GL] NO. Not plaid.
[Raak] NO, not houndstooth. Or poundstooth, for that matter. :-)
Corduroy?
[Raak] NO. Not corduroy. (See previous questions; the answer begins with P.)
Paisley?
Patchwork?
[Raak] YES! Love it or hate it -- paisley is the word on the card. *turns up the Grateful Dead and extends a psychedelic baton to Raak*
pointing out a simple error
Well played Gusset Login - for t'was you, was it not, that gusseted the correct AOTC?
*embarrassed* Sorry, GL.
*turns up the Grateful Dead and extends a psychedelic baton to Gusset Login*
Either way is fine, but could you turn the music down a bit? I've got a headache... Now I feel old.
Anyway new AOTC is MINERAL
Occuring naturally?
Does it begin with a P?
[Dujon] Natural? - No
[Boolbar] P...? - No
Metal?
Rock?
Unique?
Was it first created after 1900?
[ImNotJohn] Metal? At least partly, often mostly
[Chalky] Rock? No, at least not that I've seen
[cfm] Unique? No *Audience laughs*
[Boolbar] Created after 1900? Yes
Is it used as currency?
A feature of urban architecture?
[Boolbar] Currency? No
[ImNotJohn] feature of urban architecture? No

I have done some more research and discovered that in fact the AOTC was created *before* 1900. Please ignore my previous answer.
Mobile?
[jim] Mobile? Depends on how you define mobile. It can be moved, but it isn't usually used while doing so.
A tool of some kind?
Bigger than a phone box?
Are there currently more than a million of these?
Is it used in communication?
[cfm] A tool of some kind? I wouldn't say it was, but I've heard it both ways.
[jim] Bigger than the Tardis? No.
[Raak] 1,000,000+ extant? Yes.
[Boolbar] Is it used in communication? Not to my knowledge.
Does it have moving parts?
Exactly the same size, shape and function as a toaster?
[Boolbar] Moving Parts? Yes
[ImNotJohn] Effectively a toaster? No.
Do parts of it get hot?
Is it an item of stationery?
[Tuj] Do parts of it get hot? They do generate heat but they are not well known for it.
[Raak] Is it an item of stationery? No.
A houshold utensil?
[Dujon] utensil? Never sure about that word, but it is used for a purpose so I guess, Yes... household? I tend to expect the AOTC more in offices, but I have one at home and items similar to the AOTC are not uncommon in houses...
So:
[Dujon] A houshold utensil? Yes
Does it do things to sheets of paper?
[Boolbar] Does it do things to sheets of paper? It depends what you do with it/them. Personally I try to avoid letting mine do anything to sheets of paper but not always successfully.
It is electrically powered?
Is it used to control temperature?
[Raak] Electric? Yes
[Boolbar] Used to control temperature? Yes
An air conditioner?
A fan?
[CdM] Air conditioner? No
[Raak] A fan? The AOTC is Electric Desk Fan but you are close enough.
Have an air cooled baton
The next is VEGETABLE.
Wooden?
[INJ] Mainly wooden.
Unique?
Alive?
The Larch?
Smaller than a toaster?
[Tuj] Not unique.
[jim] Not alive.
[Boolbar] Not the Larch.
[Chalky] Usually smaller than a toaster.
Is the bit that's not wooden - paper?
Begins with P?
Mass-produced?
[Chalky] I was a bit misleading there -- the paper is what's mainly wooden.
[Tuj] Yes! Yes, it does begin with P!
[CdM] I couldn't swear that no-one has ever set up a factory to make these, but no, not mass produced as far as I know.
Of value?
[Tuj] No particular value.
Is origami involved?
[Boolbar] *applause and cheering* Yes, the craft of paper-folding is involved.
A paper aeroplane?
*the audience launch a hail of paper darts* Yes, a paper aeroplane.
Crikey. We're damn good at this game.
Oh, is it me?
Most of the hard work was done for me ... I just supplied the answer. But then, it's always a communal effort.
Let's try a MINERAL, with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.
Unique?
Metal?
Bigger than a toaster?
Human-made?
A fairly good start
[GL] YES, unique.
[CdM] NO, not metal.
[Tuj] YES, bigger than a toaster.
[Boolbar]YES, human made.
Functional?
In Europe?
[CdM] NO, not functional. A few giggles from the audience
[Tuj] YES, in Europe.
Is it inside a building?
Is it a statue?
Michelangelo's David?
Is it a city?
[Boolbar] NO, not inside a building.
[Raak] NO, not a statue, and hence not Michelangelo's David. Some audience approval of this line of questioning
[GL] NO, not a city.
But is it art?
Or architecture?
Made since 1900?
In the UK?
Does it involve water in any way?
[Tuj] YES, it is art.
[INJ] NO, it is not architecture.
[Raak] NO, not made since 1900.
[CdM] YES, in the UK.
[Chalky] NO, does not involve water any more than anything else in the UK not enclosed in some sort of building :)
Is it a sculpture?
Is it made of stone?
Is it in London?
[CdM] NO, it is not a sculpture. (You could make a case for its being one, but on the whole I'd say no.)
[Chalky] YES, it is made of stone. Some murmurs from the audience but no outright dissent.
[Tuj] NO, it is not in London.
The Stone of Scone?
That looks *so* wrong when typed out
[Chalky] NO, not the Stone of Scone.
A monument?
Does it have some religious significance?
Begins with P?
[Raak] NO, not a monument.
[cfm] POSSIBLY, but nobody knows for sure.
[Tuj] NO, alas, does not begin with P.
An ancient stone circle?'
Is it in England?
The Cerne Abbas Giant?
A very impressive guess
Might as well cut to the chase ...
[INJ] YES! It is the Cerne Abbas Giant, aka the Rude Man of Cerne, for reasons that should be obvious.
It may be an Iron Age depiction of a god or a fertility symbol, or it may be a giant 17th-century satirical drawing. But it is quite rude.
Over to ImNotJohn goes one baton in the shape of ... well, probably best not to go into that.
The giggles gave it away!
Ah well, thinking cap on again.
OK We'll go for ABSTRACT with MINERAL connections
A well-known phrase or saying?
Does it involve singing?
Fictional?
A quick start
[cfm] I say, I say? - YES
[Boolbar] musical/vocal? - NO
[Tuj] Fictional? - YES
On the bike today, so leaving the laptop at work - normal service will resume in the morning
The title of a written work?
Are the mineral connections metal?
Good Morning again
[cfm] Literary? - YES (but I didn't think of that when I set it)
[Tuj] Metallic? - NO
Begins with P?
Is a place name in the AOTC?
Are mineral connections liquid?
[Tuj] A P? - PNO
[Boolbar] Locational? - NO
[Chalky] Liquidity? - NO
Is it getting blood from a stone?
[Boolbar] Petric exsanguination? - NO
Does it come from the Bible?
[Raak] Biblical? - YES
Rock of Ages?
[cfm] Old Rock? - NO (is that biblical or just from the hymn? I shall check.)
Back again. The exact phrase seems to relate to the hymn although there are close biblical links turned up in my swift googling. BTW the rock that is referred to is on the Isle of Wight, but I've not been there myself.
The salt of the earth?
[INJ] Impulsive, misguided guess. Especially as you'd already said there was no connection to singing. But it's the name of a film playing in theaters now. So I thought it might be top of mind.
[Raak] Terrestrial salinity? - NO *the audience are fidgeting and getting their things together in preparation for an early getaway*
[cfm] - Always worth a try. I did know the story of the writing of the hymn, but I didn't (and don't) know if the phrase came to mind because it was biblical.
The widow's mite?
[Raak] The potentially willing widow? - NO
From the Old Testament?
[Raak] OT? - Y
A column of smoke by day and a pillar of fire by night?
A pillaf of salt?
Don't forget the first answer
[Raak] Where there's smoke...? - NO
[GL] Salty? - NO
The stone tablets of the law?
Dust to dust - [ashes to ashes]?
[Raak] Mosaic tablets? - NO
[Chalky] Funereal soil? - NO
Is it from the Pentateuch?
[Raak] GenExoLevNumDeu? - NO
You may not know this as biblical - I chose it first and then checked the origin, so picking biblical quotes that fit might take a long time.
Is this a three word answer?
[Chalky] I'll name that in 3? - YES
Is the first word "the"?
[Raak] Starts with 'The'? - NO (and for a bonus, neither the second nor the third word are 'the')
Does the word "Stone" appear?
*more lateral fishing* .. Would yer average young adult have heard this well-known phrase or saying in general conversation?
Is the middle word "and"?
A stone's throw?
[Boolbar] Includes 'stone'? - NO
[Chalky] Well-known in young adult conversation etc? - I think the average young adult would have come across the phrase, but not in general conversation. I'm sure everyone here will know it as a phrase and most also as the book title.
[Raak] --- and ---? - NO
[cfm] Glass House No-no? - NO
Is it from the Book of Daniel?
Is the middle word "of"?
Aha!
[Boolbar] Daniel-y? - YES *considerable applause*
[GL] --- of ---? - YES *some members of the audience have put their coats on*
Feet of clay?
And the winner is....
cfm - Feet of Clay is the phrase on the card

Just make sure you keep the baton out of the rain.

Thank you, INJ. Won't be difficult. It has been blazing hot and sunny for days with more of the same on the way.
Let's try MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE ASSOCIATIONS
Unique?
Is the animal connection human?
Made of Stone?
[Tuj] NO, there are many to be found.
[INJ] YES, among other animal connections.
[GL] NO, not made of stone.
Metal?
[Raak] YES. Metal. *audience applauds politely*
A household implement?
Larger than a 4-slice toaster?
Does it have a pointy bit?
Does it have any moving parts?
A watering can?
Do you own more than one?
[CdM] YES, the item is used by householders among other people. *a smattering of applause from the audience*
INJ YES, larger than a 4-slice. *another smattering, plus a snicker or two*
[Tuj] NOT NECESSARILY, but in some cases there are.
[Software] NO, not a watering can.
[GL] NO. I do not own more than one.
[BB] NO, nothing pointy -- on mine at least. But come to think, the ones with moving parts might have some pointy bits.
A sofa?
This either inspired or silly, I'm too tired to tell
Is it used in gardening?
[GL] NO, not a sofa. But YES! Totally silly. :)
[Rakk] NO, not used for gardening.
Ornamental?
[Raak] NO, not ornamental.
Used in cooking?
[GL] YES. Related to cooking. *a round of hearty applause*
An Aga?
A barbecue?
Or grill if you're american
[Raak] NO, not an Aga. (But I want of one those--one of the minty-turquoise green ones. :-) )
[GL] NO, not a barbecue/grill. *audience applauds nonetheless*
A refrigerator?
A smoker?
Some other sort of oven?
Cutting to the chase...
[CdM] YES! The word on the card is indeed "smoker." (I recently inherited one from a relocating neighbor and have been having a fine time experimenting with it. One can only hope someone will leave me that Aga next.) *even as it is quickly handed off to CdM, the baton begins to vanish...*
Italy is a wonderful country but they don't quite seem to have mastered this whole Internet thing yet. Two hotels in a row, now, where the wifi has worked hardly at all. So I think it best if I leave this baton here for someone else to pick up.
If the baton is just sitting around I'll grab it.

ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE or MINERAL connections
Begins with P?
Was it known of in 1900?
Does the AOTC ever have both vegetable and mineral connections simultaneously?
Connected to the arts?
[Tuj] P...? No
[Boolbar] Known in 1900? Yes, but not in the context I thought of it.
[cfm] Both vegetable and mineral together? The AOTC is abstract but were it not it may be vegetable, mineral or both depending on context and cultural preference
[Software] The arts? The arts is too vague a term, no answer I give can be both accurate and helpful
Are the vegetable and mineral connections the things it can be made of?
[Raak] Made of vegetable/mineral? As I said to cfm, if it were not abstract, it would be.
Fictional?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Tuj] Fictional? If you mean "from a work of fiction", then No
[cfm] Phrase or Saying? Yes
Does the AOTC refer to some kind of building?
Is it the title of a work of fiction?
[cfm] Some kind of building? No
[Tuj] A work of fiction? Not that I've heard of or can find searching Amazon.
Is it computer related (nowadays) ?
Is it a phrase originating from a work of fiction?
Strange furrow to be ploughing.
[Boolbar] Computer related? I've seen it used on the internet but beyond that, No, I'm not aware of a computer connection.
[Tuj] From fiction? No, it is not fictional, from fiction, the name of a work of fiction, nor is it noatably associated with a fictional character, place or organisation.
Is it a proverb?
Does it include the word "of"?
[GL] Your comprehensive answering is appreciated =)
[Chalky] Proverb? No
[Tuj] Includes "of"? No.

[Tuj] Your welcome I didn't want you worrying the wrong end of the stick for too long. It is safe to say if it is at all fictional it did not start out that way.

Is it associated with a particular place?
When the AOTC is made of vegetable, is the vegetable wood?
[Boolbar] A singular geographical association? No
[cfm] Is the vegetable connection wood? Yes
When the AOTC is mineral, is it metal?
[cfm] Is the mineral connection metal? Usually.
Is the vegetable/mineral connection a household item?
[Boolbar] Linked to a household item? No.
Does the AOTC have a nautical connection?
As no one else is guessing, I thought I'd get things moving again.
[Boolbar] Boating Connection? Not that I'm aware of

To summarise: The AOTC is a physical object that has, through association with a phrase or saying, become not fictional but certainly metaphorical to the extent that it can appear on the internet (and not just as a picture). The original object may be/have been made of wood, metal or a combination of both. It is/was not a household object or related to boats and does not begin with P. Both the object and it's usage in the phrase date to before 1900, but it was not used on the internet until sometime later.

If any of the above appears to contradict anything I've said before, then assume my previous answers were accidentally wrong and use the new information.

Is there any connection to fire?
[Tuj] On fire? No
Is the "physical object" larger than a toaster?
[Boolbar] Originally larger than a toaster? No, in at least two dimensions, often all three.
When used as a phrase or saying, does the AOTC generally have negative connotations?
[cfm] Is it generally negative? No.
Is the "physical object" a weapon?
[Boolbar] A weapon? No, or not as such (depending on context)
Does the letter "b" occur in the AOTC ?
Trying a different approach.
[Boolbar] Can I have a B please? Yes
Does it have a sporting connection?
[INJ] Sports? At least two of the contexts I can think of are sporting. Others are not.
Does the saying refer to something worn on one's body?
Are there one or more websites specifically devoted to the AOTC?
[cfm] Worn? No
[CdM] Website(s)? Yes
Is the physical object essentially flat?
Just want to verify something from the last sentence of your excellent summary: are you sure it wasn't used on the internet before 1900?
[CdM] Is it flat? No
[CdM] Are you sure it wasn't used on the internet before 1900? I have found no websites using it with creation dates earlier than 1900, but they may exist.
Does the physical object have a sporting connection?
[Boolbar] Sports? At least two of the contexts I can think of are sporting. Others are not.
Are the sports team sports?
Does the AOTC contain the word "ball"?
Either as a whole word or part of a word.
[cfm] Teaming with sports? Yes
[Boolbar] Pass the ball? No, no "ball"s.
Jolly Hockey Sticks! ?
Does the AOTC refer to a particular piece of sporting equipment?
[INJ] Hockey Sticks? No
[CdM] A piece of equipment? Yes, but that's not the only definition of the AOTC
Is the word "bowl" contained within the AOTC?
[Boolbar] You got a bowl in it? No
Do the sports use a ball?
[INJ] Use a ball? No and not at the same time as the AOTC
Does the letter "k" occur in the AOTC ?
[Boolbar] Does the letter "k" occur in the AOTC? In English? No. In Esperanto, Dutch or Slovak? Yes
Are the sports connected with the AOTC occuring at the 2012 Olympics?
Topical!
[Boolbar] Are the sports in the Summer Olympics 2012? The obvious one is. The other one isn't and if it had been, the AOTC part would likely be omitted.

If no one gets this by Monday morning (BST) I intend to quit and let the first person to say "baton" start a new one.
Does the AOTC have something to do with a Baton?
[Boolbar] A Baton? YES the AOTC is "The Baton" please take this thing off me.
I wasn't expecting that!
Onwards :
ANIMAL
Human?
Unique?
Alive today?.
A flying start.
[cfm] Human?   Oh yes.
[CdM] Only one?   Oh yes.
[irach] Unkicked bucket?   Oh yes.
Did they win a medal at the London 2012 Olympics?
Female?
Bradley Wiggins?
[Gusset Login] Gong?   No.   *Slight murmur from the audience*
[cfm] Femella?   Yes!
[Raak] Ginger sideburns?   No.
Disqualified from a medal at the London 2012 Olympics?
[Raak] Gong gone? No.
A competitor at the London 2012 Olympics?
Or failing that an asian badminton player
A medalist at some past Olympics?
[Gusset Login] Going for gold in 2012?   No.   *A few sniggers from the audience*
[cfm] Old Olympian?   No.
Any connection with the 2012 Olympics
[ImNotJohn] 2012 Olympics   Yes!
A politician?
Lord Coe?
[Raak] I think you must mean Lady Coe.
[cfm] Politician No.
[Raak] Coe/Coette No.
British?
[ImNotJohn] No. Not British.
A journalist?
Asian?
[cfm]   Journalist?   No.
[Gusset Login]   Asian?   Yes!   *Audience applause*
Were they disqualified from the 2012 Olympics?
[Gusset Login]   Disqualified   No. "Not applicable" is a more accurate answer.
A member of the IOC?
[ImNotJohn]   IOCilver Lining?  No.
Associated with any particular sport?
[Raak]   Sporty?   No.
Chinese?
[Tuj]   Chinese?   No.
A busy weekend looming
I have to admit, I don't know why this particular person popped into my head when I picked up the baton. She really shouldn't have been there.
Connected to the Opening Ceremony in London?
[CdM] Yes! *Audience applause*
Madhura Nagendra, the "gatecrasher" with the Indian contingent marchers?
[irach] Yes! She is the answer on my card. I pass you these two batons. I'm not sure where the second one came from.
A lurker's victory this....the next one is ABSTRACT with a main ANIMAL connection, plus another somewhat more remote ANIMAL connection.
Is the main animal connection human?
Fictional?
Connected with a particular country?
[INJ] The main animal connection is human.
[Raak] Yes, fictional.
[Tuj] Yes, originated in one particular country.
Is the secondary animal connection human?
[cfm] The secondary animal connection is not human.
St. George?
[Raak] Not St. George (or a dragon as the secondary animal connection, I might add).
Calvin & Hobbes?
[GLogin] Not Calvin and Hobbes.
Created in the last century?
Is the particular country in Europe?
[Tuj] Not created in the last century.
[cfm] The country in question is European.
Sport-related?
[Tuj] Not sport-related
Is the country fictional but based on real one?
Literary?
Connected with religion?
Begins with P?
[Dujon] The country where the abstract entity stems from is not fictional.
[INJ] Yes, could presumbably be construed as "literary".
[jim] Not connected to religion.
[Tuj] Does not begin with "P".
Created in the last millennium?
[jim] Created within the last millenium.
Is the country Britain or a sub country thereof?
[gil] Yes, British.
From film or television programme?
Is the main human connection to an individual (fictional) human?
[Tuj] Not from TV or film.
[jim] Yes, the fioctional human connection is a single individual.
Would this fictional human be described as a hero or heroine?
[CdM] Not a hero or heroine per se, but well known to man, woman and child alike.
Well known internationally?
[cfm] I'd say yes, at least in primarily English-speaking nations.
Are we talking Bow Bells here?
(Dick Whittington and Cat)
[gil] Not Dicky and his feline companion (Dick was not fictional), but you're certainly on the right track vis a vis a specific human and animal association.
Greyfriar's Bobby?
[Software] Nae, laddy. Right animalspecies, wrong guess. I believe Greyfrirs Bobby was not fictional.
A well-known English phrase or saying?
[cfm] Not a "phrase" or "saying" specifically but is universally known, widely read, read aloud or otherwise spoken in the English-speaking world.
Is the remote animal connection sheep?
[Boolbar] No, as noted above, the non-human animal species in question is the same as Greyfriars Bobby; i.e. canine.
When you say "not from TV or film", does that mean that these fictional creations have not been portrayed in these media?
(All the famous fictional dogs I can think of have also been portrayed in film/TV)
Created after 1999?
Just to be completely sure what we mean by "not created in the last century".
[jim] The fictional characters most likely have been portrayed in an ancillary manner in some film or TV show, but were never the stars or central characters of a specific TV show or movie to my knowledge.
[jim] Created (considerably) before 1999.
John Bull?
and his British Bulldog, of course.
Old Mother Hubbard?
[INJ] Not John Bull or his bulldog.
[jim} YES!!! The rhyme "Old Mother Hubbard" it is! A long bone purloined from the infamous cupboard, laying it bare and depriving that lady's poor dog, is handed over to jim in lieu of a baton.
Oh sorry, is it my turn?
OK, let's have an ABSTRACT.
Related to literature?
Life?
[INJ] YES, related to literature, although not exclusively so.
[GL] Related to life, certainly, for without life there would be no (this thing). But if you mean is "life" the AOTC, then NO.
Related to creativity?
[cfm] YES, similarly to "literature" above.
A character in a fictional work?
Related to inspiration?
Imagination?
[INJ] NO, not a character in a fictional work (or if so, it's a very strange work).
[cfm] Borderline, but pretty tenuous in either case.
[gil] NO, not imagination.
Do the words on the card refer to an intellectual process?
Is this something which might be described as a 'skill'?
[cfm] NO, not an intellectual process.
[Dujon] It MIGHT be, but any such description would be VERY tongue-in-cheek.
A human invention?
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] YES, in so far as it can be termed an invention. A human concept, certainly.
[CdM] NO, does not begin with P.
Is it useful?
[gil] I would have to say YES, it is useful in a sense, although some would disagree.
Was it known about in 1900?
[Boolbar] YES, it was known about in 1900.
Flair?
[Softers] NO, not flair.
Luck?
Was it known 3000 years ago?
[Phil] Alas, no luck.
[CdM] NO, it was not known 3000 years ago.
I think we need to further narrow things down before guessing. All the guesses so far have been pretty wide of the mark. Oh, and re cfm's question above, it is certainly related to an intellectual process, but I couldn't say that it was one.
Is it related to religion?
[Phil] NO, it is not related to religion. (I could make a facetious comment here, but I shall refrain.)
Do we do this every day?
[Software] I expect that very few, if any, people make/do this every single day. Some do more than others. Some pride themselves on never doing it at all.
Could I type this (using both hands) while making/doing it?
Good question
[Boolbar] You can certainly make/do/perpetrate this while typing (with any number of hands); it's possible that you did so while typing your last question, but I think it very unlikely.
Is this typically viewed negatively?
[CdM] I don't know about "typically". It is viewed negatively by many; I suspect most people are actually neutral on the subject.
an entertainment of some sort?
[INJ] NO, not an entertainment of any sort.
A distraction?
Wild guesses are hyperbole and exaggeration...
[Software] It can be distracting, if you encounter one and you are the sort of person who notices such things.
[Giertrud] I'm sure they are; are they YOUR guesses? In which case, NO, not hyperbole or exaggeration, but you are sort of on the right lines.
Rhetoric
Could it be rhetoric?
A figure of speech?
A clue?
Do some people find it offensive?
Is it something to do with punctuation?
Wild guess.
As jim hasn't posted for 5 weeks, do we think someone else should perhaps take up the baton?
Yes. I nominate Phil.
Or will take it up myself if Phil prefers.
Well, I am phenomenally bored at work, so I certainly have the time.
Any objections?
*waits a minute*
Oh well, OK then.
Let's start a new game with

Animal

Is it a panda?
Is it a live animal?
Is it human?
Begins with P?
[Boolbar] Panda? NO
[cfm] Live animal? NO
[Raak] Human? YES!
[Tuj] P? NO
Is he female?
Did this person run a pub not so long ago?
[GL] Female? NO
[Raak] Ex-publican? No, not even a little bit.
Was this now dead person still alive in 1950?
[Boolbar] Now dead confirmation? YES; Alive in 1950? YES
An artist of some kind?
[cfm] An artist? NO
A sporting figure?
Did this gentleman die in April 1955?
European?
Was this now dead person still alive in 2000?
[Raak] Sporting? NO
[Dujon] d. 04/1955? NO
[CdM] European? NO
[GL] Alive in 2000? YES
American?
[Raak] Americano? NO
A politician?
[cfm] Politician? YES *some applause*
A president, prime minister, or other similar leader?
Did they die this year?
[CdM] Leader? YES
[Raak] d. 2012? NO
Oh, and a bit of *applause* for CdM, I would imagine.
Kim Il Sung?
Yassar Arafat?
[Raak] The man that looked at things? NO
[cfm] Yasser-al-briefly-exhumed-Arafat? YES - spot on.
Here, cfm, take this baton that looks rather like a sandy femur.
[Phil] Er...don't you think we should put it back?
Okay, let's try this:

ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
Connected to a specific human animal?
[CDM] Somebody not anybody? NO
A well known phrase or saying?
Is the animal human?
Did it originate in the Bible?
A human invention?
A work of fiction?
[GL] Just sayin'... NO
[Phil] Only human? YES *Audience applauds in an early-in-the-game sort of way*
[Boolbar] Word of God? NO *A smattering of snickers*
[Tuj] Man/woman-made? YES *Audience applauds again*
[Raak] No resemblance to persons living or dead? NO
Connected with the arts?
[CdM] Art in part? YES. *more applause*
A song?
A book?
Was this invented/created in the last 100 years?
[CdM] Can I hum a few bars? NO
[Phil] Can I turn a few pages? NO *A sustained murmur from the audience*
* [Boolbar] A modern invention? YES *applause*
Is the spoken word involved?
[Raak] Speaking parts? YES *more applause*
A speech made on some occasion?
[Raak] Special occasion? NO
A connection to motion pictures?
[GL] You oughtta be in pictures? NO.
Is it a joke?
Is it a catch-phrase?
[Phil] Is this a joke? NO
[Raak] Here--catch? NO but I am fairly certain the words on the card are well-known among this group.
[Raak] One further comment on your SPECIAL OCCASION question: I still think the best answer to the precise words and spirit of your question is NO. But it bears repeating that there is speech involved with the thing on the card.
Does it originate from a Radio or TV program?
ISIHAC?
[Boolbar] Broadcast first? NO
[Raak] Clueless? NO
To do with a game?
[Raak] Game on? NO
An eaves-dropping?
[Phil] Rain on the roof? NO
[Raak] Another revision. Related to a game, still NO. But the audience *applauds a bit* anyway.
A word?
Does the AOTC have a connection with a particular location?
[Phil] The idea of word? A single word? NO *a ripple of applause nonetheless*
[Boolbar] Here not there? NO
An answer?
[GL] The idea of answer? NO
Was this invented/created in the last 10 years?
[Boolbar] Past decade? NO
Was this invented/created in the last 50 years?
Is the letter W in the AOTC ?
[CdM] Past 50? YES *polite applause*
[Boolbar] Can I have a W? There are two common ways of describing the abstract thing on the card and one of them does include a W, YES. *more applause*
Connected in some specific way with the internet?
So this is connected to the arts, but not to movies, songs, radio, or TV, and is not a book or a work of fiction. (Though the book question elicited a response...)
[CdM] As much as everything is on the internet (including some things one fervently wishes were not), this is connected to the internet. But in a more specifc way, NO.
By the same token, it is also possible that there are movies related to the thing on the card -- just as there are movies about cooking or zombies or Watergate. But I think that is an overly broad interpretation of the question, so my answer stands.
Please refer back to the form of the question on TV. The answer is still NO.
Is there or has there been a TV program with a title that is the AOTC?
[Boolbar] I am aware of one TV program devoted to the thing on the card. I don't know how widely known it is. But the actual title of the show is not comprised of the words on the card. So I guess that is still a NO. Nonetheless *audience applauds encouragingly*
To do with theatre?
[Raak] Take a bow? YES, there is a connection to theater. *applause*
A play?
I am pretty sure the answer is no, but I just want to check.
[CdM] The play's the thing? NO. But you already knew that. :-)
A libretto?
[Phil] Operatic? NO.
A soliloquy?
[Raak] Soliloquy is not the word on the card, NO. But the concept is related. *vigorous applause*
Connected with comedy?
A monologue?
[Boolbar] Stand up and be counted? YES. I would say that there is some connection to comedy. (Though I would add that, like the internet, comedy can be connected to many things.) *more applause*
[Phil] Monologue is not the AOTC, NO. But the concept is again strongly connected. *audience is highly engaged*
*racking my brain*
Does the thing on the card usually involve one person speaking to an audience?
[Boolbar] One and many? Splendid. YES.
[Boolbar] *belated and extended applause*
A TED talk? (or whatever the correct term is for them)?
[Phil] TED-ed? YES, there has been a TED talk on this subject. It is available online. (Also, while TED is not the AOTC, one might argue there is some kinship between the two abstract concepts.) *applause*
Something to do with the giving of awards?
Something to do with the receiving of an award?
[Boolbar] Giving and [Raak] Receiving? In practice, there is frequently a competitive connection. But this is not a necessary component of the abstract concept. *encouraging applause*
A poetry slam?
No, wait a minute -- just one person.
A poetry reading?
[CdM] *considers*
Hmmmm. I can't think of a way to say "no" without seriously misleading the players. So while I actually had in mind the entire genre and not a specific event -- congratulations, YES! The AOTC is Slam Poetry a.k.a. Spoken Word Poetry. *invites CdM up to the mike to say a few very personal words about receiving the baton* :-)
Blimey! I was miles away. Perhaps I will win another day. To CdM I will say well done, and thanks to cfm for so much fun.
That was a surprise; it was a bit of a shot in the dark. OK.
ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
Is the animal element human?
Steak and chips?
Human? No.
Steak and chips? No.
Is the animal element canine?
Doggy? No.
Edible -- at least in the normal course of things?
Is it strongly associated with a particular time of year?
Progress
Edible? Yes.
Associated with a time of year? Yes. *applause*
Associated with summer?
Connected with Christmas?
More specifically...drinkable?
This won't take long
Summer? Perhaps in the Southern Hemisphere
Connected with Christmas? Yes. *applause*
Drinkable? Yes. *sustained applause*
Is there nutmeg involved?
Now you are just toying with me
Nutmeg? Typically, yes.
Is the drinkable thing associated with Christmas potentially intoxicating? :-)
Egg-nog?
Intoxicating? My version certainly is.
Eggnog? YES! One baton with rum and grated nutmeg goes to Gusset Login.
Oh, how unexpected.
The next item is MINERAL
A snowman?
Metal?
Naturally occurring?
Such as, for example, a naturally occurring metal snowman
Gold?
[Raak] snowman? No.
[cfm] Metal? Yes.
[CdM] Natural? No. naturally occurring metal snowman? No.
[Boolbar] Gold? Yes.
One of a kind?
[cfm] Unique? No.
Is the gold object symbolic in some way?
Gold cast or moulded into a quintet of tori?
[cfm] Symbolic? Yes, or at least probably.
[CdM] FIVE GOLD RINGS!? YES

Have a baton made of pear wood tied with partridge feathers
Me again? Oh dear.
I'm travelling for much of the next two days, and not 100% sure of the internet connection when I reach my next destination. So if anyone wants to take over the baton, feel free. If nothing has been set when I am fully internetted again, then I will get back in the saddle.
Very well then
Since no one has picked up the baton... This is best described as
ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE and ANIMAL connections,
but it could also be described as VEGETABLE with ANIMAL and ABSTRACT connections.
Is it a fictional object?
Is the animal connection a human?
Fictional object? I think the best answer is Yes. But, in some sense, real versions do or can exist, hence the two ways of describing it.
Animal connection human? No.
A metaphor?
Metaphor? Yes. *applause*
Is the animal connection bovine?
Is the vegetable part wood?
Bullish? No.
Wood? Yes.
Is the animal a tiny creature that burrows through the wood?
Begins with P?
Does the abstract concept involve an object fashioned from wood?
Carpenter termite worm? No.
Begins with P? Yes.
Object fashioned from wood? A cautious Yes, provided you take a broad interpretation of "fashioned".
Is the animal connection a domesticated beast?
Is a horse involved?
Domestic beast? No.
Wild horse? No.
Is it in the Bible?
Biblical? No.
Is the vegetable element paper?
Paper? Yes. *applause*
Paper Tiger?
Paper tiger? Yes! An inspired leap by Phil, there. *hands over illusory baton*
Oh crikey - bit of a lurker's win, but "hey ho" all's fair in love and AVMA.
So our next puzzle will be:

Mineral, Vegetable and Animal

Fish and chips?
[Raak] Cod n spud? NO
France?
[GL] La Belle France? NON
Is it edible?
Does the mineral portion of the MV&A constitute the majority component of the answer?
Does the vegetable portion of the MV&A constitute the plurality component of the answer?
Does the animal portion of the MV&A constitute the primary component of the answer?
Does the conjunction portion of the MV&A constitute the primary component of the answer?
[Dujon] Mineral > Veg + Animal? YES
[CdM] Veg > Animal AND Veg > Mineral? NO
[GL] Animal is "primary component"? Not entirely sure what that means precisely, but I'm confident with a NO
[Boolbar] "Conjunction portion"? As an Austrian friend of mine used to say in French lessons, "My friend, I am completely lost"
Great answers but is it edible?
Is there just one of it?
And is it edible?
Is the mineral part a liquid?
[Conjunction] As mineral, animal and vegetable had already been taken, I was left with the "and" ;)
My sincerest apologies:
[Raak] Edible? NO
[Raak] Unique? YES
[Boolbar] Liquid mineral? NO {Re: conjunction - ah, very good :-)}
Was it man-made?
[Primary Component] Either the initial component or that from which the majority is made.
If that doesn't make sense, I apologise. English is my first language, so I tend to play with it until I break it.
Is it in a building?
[GL] Man-made? YES
[Boolbar] In a building? NO *applause and hubbub*
A landmark of the type that a tourist would visit?
[cfm] Tourist-magnet? YES *applause*
I've forgetten my next question
CdM, Gusset Login & Boolbar: Thanks, it's not often I get a chuckle out of MV&A.
[Dujon] Imaginary next question? I've forgotten the answer ;-)
Is it in Europe?
Is the vegetable portion in Canada?
Is the animal part alive?
Is the animal part human in whole or in part?
[Boolbar] In Europe? YES
[CdM] Veg portion in Canada? NO
[Raak] Animal part alive? NO
[cfm] Animal part human? NO!
Is it more than 300 years old?
[Boolbar] > 300 years old? YES and NO. You might wish to pick another number *a little applause and much chattering amongst the audience*
Is the animal part bone?
Is it in England?
[cfm] bone? NO
[Boolbar] In England? YES *some applause*
Hidden textI confess, I had to use the Whoops! button earlier, as I said NO to Europe, forgetting temporarily that the UK is a part thereof. How 70s of me!
Stonehenge?
[Software] Stonehenge? NO
Is the animal part leather?
[Raak] Leather? YES
Is it larger than an adult Old English Sheepdog?
Is it smaller than the New York Stock Exchange?
Is it a vehicle?
Is it a building?
[Boolbar] Bigger than the Dulux dog? YES
[Tuj] Smaller than NYSE? NO
Hidden textBeing unfamiliar with NY, that took some research!
*some applause*
[Raak] A vehicle? NO
[cfm] A building? YES *more applause*
Is the mineral element stone?
[cfm] Mineral = Stone? YES *a bit more applause*
Is it in London?
[Chalky] In that London? NO
A famous library?
A Museum?
[cfm] Library? NO
[Boolbar] Museum? NO
A tannery?
[Raak] Tannery? NO - I would just add that the leather is very much a minor component
Is the vegetable element wood?
A religious building?
[cfm] Wood? YES
[Raak] Religious? NO
A commercial location?
[CdM] Commercial location? NO, using UPS's definition of a "commercial address".
If you meant "has it been used in an advertisement?" then the answer is YES
Is it less than 50 miles away from Cambridge?
The Cambridge in England that is. The one where half the boat race comes from.
[Boolbar] <50 miles to Cambridge? NO
Associated with an academic institution?
[cfm] Academic? NO
Is it a National Trust property?
[Boolbar] NT? NO
Does anyone live in it?
[Raak] Inhabited? YES *some applause*
Is the leather component, though minor, essential in some sense?
[CdM] Essential leather? NO - not worth focussing on, IMHO.
Is its latitude less than 52° N?
[Boolbar] Lat < 52oC? YES *much glowing of smartphones as audience members check the veracity of Phil's reply, followed by knowing smiles and a slow spread of applause*
Buckingham Palace?
[Software] Buckingham Palace? NO *applause and eager anticipation of a victory*
The Royal Pavilion at Brighton?
[Raak] Brighton Pavilion? NO
Tower of London?
[Software] Tower of London? NO
Is it in a county that ends with "shire" ?
It is associated with royalty?
Windsor Castle?
[Boolbar] In a shire? YES
[Raak] Associated with royalty? NO, not closely in the sense I think you mean.
[Software] Windsor Castle? NO
I think a couple of questions could be useful to revisit the answers to (and the audience's reactions). "Latitude" and "Older than 300 years" would be of interest, from memory.
Would longitude be of particular importance?
The Royal Observatory in Greenwich?
[Dujon] Longitude particularly important? NO, other than its importance for any building
[CdM] Greenwich Observatory? NO
I would also remind you that someone lives in it.
Clarence House?
[Clarence House] NO - it's in a "-shire" county
Blenheim Palace?
[Raak] Blenheim Palace - YES. In retrospect, I might have left the leather element out altogether. The latitude at 51.84oN is just less than 52, and the palace was being built 300 years ago.
So, I pass on the baton to Raak with Churchillian gravitas.
The next is ANIMAL.
Audience chuckles as the answer goes up on the laser display board.
Human?
Not human
More chuckling.
Alive?
A single animal?
Mythological?
Not alive.
Not a single animal.
Not mythological.
The audience derives some merriment from all these questions.
Is it manufactured from part or parts of a dead animal?
A dead parrot?
[GL] *applause* Yes, manufactured from dead animals.
[Phil] Not that dead animal.
Glue?
A Tesco economy beefburger?
Leatherwear?
[CdM] Not glue.
[INJ] Not leatherwear.
[Phil] I think that's close enough to the words on the card, "a horsemeat burger". Have this rod of horse, um, jerky.
The laughter was fun :-)
So, next we'll have,

ABSTRACT - with Animal associations

Is the animal connection human?
[Boolbar] Human animal connection? YES
A fictional human?
[GL] Fictional human? NO
The regulations that prohibit horsemeat from human consumption?
[Raak] Anti-equivoreal Regulations? NO
A unique human?
Is it found in the Bible?
Begins with P?
Culture-specific?
[cfm] Unique human? NO
[Boolbar] Found in The Bible? YES *a few chuckles*
[Tuj] Begins with P? YES Applause, cheers, whoops and laughter
[CdM] Culture-specific? YES
Are there other animal associations as well as human?
Philistine?
Question, not insult (well, probably).
[Boolbar] Other animals? NO
[CdM] Me-istine? NO
Pornographic?
:o)
Paternalism?
[Software] Rudey bits? NO!
[cfm] Daddyness? NO
Pilates exercises?
[Raak] Pilates? NO
Paganism?
[cfm] Paganism? NO
Does the answer on the card have more than one word?
[Boolbar] AOC has > 1 word? YES

NB, on reflection for Tuj's "Does it begin with P?" question, I should add that the most important part of the answer on the card starts with "P".

A painted sepulchre?
Is the important P-thing you?
Related to a particular belief system?
Is it related to prayer?
[Raak] Painted sepulchre? NO
[Tuj] Me? NO
[cfm] Related to a particular belief system? NO
[GL] Prayer? NO
A plague of something?
[Raak] Plague? NO
Is there a person's name in the answer?
Related to food?
[Boolbar] A name? NO
[cfm] Foody? NO
A prophesy?
[Raak] Prophesy? NO
Is the specific culture geographically defined/distinct?
[cfm] Geographically defined specific culture? NO - plus I have not strictly said it's one culture.
[Phil] Indeed, I should have asked is/are the specific culture(s) geographically defined/distinct? Thanks for the conscientious clarification, though. :)
Related to language?
[cfm] Related to language? YES *Audience wakes up and applauds*
A parable?
Is it related to many other written works as well as the bible?
[Raak] A parable? NO
[INJ] Related to many other works? YES *enthusiastic applause*
Page number?
[GL] Page number? NO
A catch phrase?
[cfm] A catch phrase? NO
Related to language?
[INJ] Related to language? YES *more enthusiastic applause*
Is the P-word someone's name?
[Raak] A P-name? NO
Does it start with "Ph"?
A Proper Noun?
Has anyone done or used this in this game?
Anything to do with preaching?
[GL] Ph- ? NO
[INJ] A proper noun? NO
[Boolbar] Has it been used in this game? YES, many, many times. *Applause, cheers and a few knowing chuckles*
[Raak] To do with preaching? NO
To do with playing?
A pun?
[Raak] To do with playing? NO
[CdM] A pun? NO.
Some clarification
While I have said no to playing, puns, preaching, proper nouns, philistines, page numbers, catch phrases and others, the answer on the card is related to all these things in a way.
Printed words?
[GL] Printed words? NO (but again, related as above).
The letter P?
[Boolbar] The letter P? YES - plaudits, pleasantries, praise and power be thine. Passing this practically perfect pole of power from person-to-person in the pursuit of pedantic pleasure is a project of prime privilege. Phew!
[Phil] Bravo!
Blimey! Funny enough, I needed a p after all that.
 
Let's do this ...
ABSTRACT (WITH ANIMAL, MINERAL & VEGETABLE ASSOCIATIONS)
An activity
A cracking start.
[NotJohn] Being active? - YES   *Audience look keen*
Creation?
Peeing?
[Gusset Login] Creation? Did you mean The Creation or the act of creation in general? Either way, NO.
However, the AOTC was created, if your meaning was "is it a creation?"
[Phil] Micturate? NO.
A game?
this is going well.
[Raak] Game-on! YES   *applause*
Normally takes place outdoors?
[NotJohn] Normally done outside?   YES
Does the game involve a ball?
Is it widely played in England?
[cfm] Ball Game?   NO.
[Phil] Widely played in England?
Hmmm. I suspect NO. It is played in England (as well as other countries), but not widely (as in often *and* all over the country, e.g. cricket or chess).
Does the game require forming teams?
Ultimate frisbee?
A spectator sport?
[cfm] Teams? NO. I'm sure it can be played with teams, but it isn't usually.
[CdM] Ultimate frisbee? NO.
[Raak] Spectator sport? I think the best answer is NO. But there is nothing to stop people watching!
Are there organised competitions?
Is it normally associated with one culture
e.g. Kabbadi (sp?)
Does the game involve equipment of some kind?
Do the players typically get muddy?
[Phil] Competitions?   YES. I know of at least one.
[ImNotJohn] One culture?   NO. I think.
[cfm] Equipment?   YES-ish. Players need an item to play the game, but calling it equipment is perhaps misleading. Would the pies in a pie-eating contest be called equipment?
[Raak]   Mud glorious mud? NO. But the opportunity is there.
Cheese-rolling?
Does the 'equipment' constitute the vegetable and mineral part of the definition?
[Phil] Chasing Cheese?   NO.  
[NotJohn] 'Equipment' vegetable/mineral?   YES for vegetable traditionally.   Some mineral items can also be used. *Audience applause and murmur*
Is it a game in which two people play against each other?
Is there a non-human animal connection?
Does this involve the throwing/tossing of an object?
Does it involve climbing?
Is the vegetal matter wood?
[Raak] One-against-one? YES.   Or more than two. At least two.
[cfm] Non-human animal? In an abstract way, there is a connection, so YES.   *Audience mutter*
[Dujon] Tossing? YES *A ripple of applause*   Or at least using gravity.
[NotJohn] Climbing? NO.
[Phil] Vegetable wood? YES! *A wave of applause*   The vegetable part could also be a mineral to play, but in the origins of the game, it was vegetable (wood).
Poohsticks?
Golf?
Winner!
[Raak] A hole in one?   NO.
[NotJohn] Poohsticks?   YES!!   Your stick has passed under the bridge first.
Hands NotJohn a somewhat moist twig.
It's the little flick of the wrist as you drop it that makes all the difference.
OK, this one is VEGETABLE or (ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections)
Wooden Horse?
[Phil] Sylvan equine? - NO
A vegetable?
As in, "a vegetable" being the answer, metaphorical for someone irreversibly brain-dead.
Some great guesses here
[Raak] Vegetable vegetable? - NO
Trojan Horse?
Is this a homograph?
A wooden sculpture?
A swede?
[GL] Trojan Horse? - NO
[Chalky] Homograph? - Tricky, I think it could be argued either way, but I'd go for - NO
[Raak] Wooden Sculpture? - NO
[Dujon] Swede? - NO
Is the Animal a human?
Is it usually eaten?
[Chalky] - Human animal? - YES
[Boolbar] Usually eaten? - NO
Made of paper?
[CdM] Papery? - NO, but * a few suppressed chuckles in the audience*
Is it unique?
Made of wood?
Some progress
[Boolbar] Only 1? - YES for the Animal
[Phil] Woody? - YES for the vegetable
Fictitional Animal?
[Chalky] Fictional Animal? - NO
Is it a tree?
Aha!
[Boolbar] A Tree? - YES *prolonged applause*
Family tree?
[Software] Genealogical? - NO
A specific kind of tree?
Warm
[CdM] Specific kind of tree? - YES *further applause*
Rowan?
Tree of Life?
[Phil] - Rowan? - NO? (So not ROWAN Atkinson, nor ASHley Cole, nor Gabriel OAK, etc)
[cfm] Tree of Life? - NO
Joshua Tree?
[cfm] U2 Tree? - NO (I wondered if someone would guess that)
There is no cheating or discrepancy going on here - the answer, exactly as stated on the card, is both a kind of tree and a unique human animal. Attacking either part is possible. Perhaps inevitably some people will find one alternative easier than the other.
Sequoyah?
[Raak] Sequoia? - NO (I'll look up your spelling - mine is that required to make it the equal shortest word containing all vowels once only)
{Raak] Isn't that fascinating - thank you. It's also a very good guess. Just happens to be incorrect.
Is the tree an evergreen?
Is the unique human male?
[Boolbar] Evergreen - YES
[cfm] - male? - YES
Did he die before 1900?
Died pre-1900? - NO *the audience is hushed*
Courtney Pine?
[Chalky] Courtney Pine? - NO
Stan Laurel?
[Phil} - A laurel called Stan? - NO
Just a a gentle prod, the person is probably the harder element to get for most of you.
Is it a pine tree?
[Boolbar] A pine? - Technically NO, but commonly YES *applause*
Scots pine?
A fir?
[cfm] McPine? - NO
[Raak] Firry? - NO
The monkey puzzle?
I thank my dear late father for one of his useless facts.
Araucaria
We have a winner AND we have a winner
The answer on the card is Araucaria, aka the Monkey Puzzle tree or the Chilean Pine.
Araucaria is also the pseudonym of the Rev. John Galbraith Graham, the doyen of British cryptic crossword compilers, who recently announced that he is suffering from terminal cancer using the answers to clues in one of his puzzles to do so. (Araucaria is suffering from 18 down of the 19, where the clue to 18 down was 'Sign of growth (6)')
Well then, now what do I do - Phil is exactly right, but he set the last one and in the absence of his answer I would have allowed Software's, so I will.
One 'Stick to continue the innings (5)' passed on to Software.
Department of Corrections
That's 'last but one'
Indeed, I meant to add that if I got that right, I would give the baton to Software, as I would not have got it without him. I remember the day (probably early 1990s) that I discovered what the crossword compiler's name meant. I hadn't heard about his illness though. Anyway, onwards and upwards (or downwards and acrosswards)
Department of useless facts
John Graham also sets puzzles under the pseudonym 'Cinephile', which is an anagram of 'Chile Pine'.
Ah, that'll be me then accepting the prickly baton.
Right, ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Red rum?
Human?
Fictional?
Animal the Muppet drummer?
[GL] Horse meat? NO
[cfm] One of us? YES!
[NJ] Virtual? NO
[Bool] Don't be a Muppet. NO
A unique human?
Currently alive?
[cfm] One-off? YES!
[NJ] Living? YES!
A male?
[Phil] Manly? YES!
The creative type? (writer, visual artist, performer, etc.)
Does this person have some language other than English as his mother tongue?
British?
Is or was involved in politics?
[cfm] arty farty? NO
[CdM] Bilingual? NO
[Raak] True Brit? YES!
[NJ] political animal? NO *some muttering among the audience*
Involved in government?
A member of the Royal Family?
[cfm] Elected? NO *more mutterings in audience*
[Phil] Royalty?NO
A scientist?
Has this person received an honour from the Queen?
A non-elected government employee?
A journalist?
[Phil] Boffin? NO *guffaws from some of the audience*
{Raak} Dubbed? YES! *mutterings among some of the audience*
[cfm] Quangoish? NO *some of the audience have views on this it would seem*
[NJ] Hack? NO
Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe CH KBE?
David Beckham?
[Raak] Superman? NO
[Phil] Becks? NO
Involved in the Justice system?
[NJ] Judiciary? NO
Involved in the sporting world?
A broadcaster?
[Raak] Sporty?: NO
[Phil] Pundit?: NO (not in the normal sense anyway)
Under 50 years old?
Over 70 years old?
[Phil] <50 years?: NO
[Bool] >70 years?: NO
A businessman?
[Raak] Something in the city?: NO
Does he begin with P?
Involved with education?
An Entrepreneur?
A celebrity chef?
[CdM] P?: NO
[NJ] Tutor?: NO * mutterings among some of the audience *
[Chalks] Wheeler Dealer?: NO
[Raak] Cooking fat?: NO
Summary
A living British man between 50 and 70 with a gong, but not any of: a creative, a non-native English speaker, a politician, a politician in power, employed by the government, a journalist, in the legal profession, a sportsman, a broadcaster, a businessman, a P_____, an educator, an entrepreneur, or a chef.
Was he formerly in any of those professions but is now retired?
[Raak] Retiree?: NO
Has he published written works?
*focusing on the abstract* Do we know about him because of a song or piece of music?
Do we know about him because of something that happened to him?
continuing the thought
Does he work in PR?
[CdM] Author?: NO not in the strictest interpretation, that is
[Chalks] Musical?: NO
[NJ] Events?: YES!
[Phil] Spinner?: NO * chuckles from some of the audience *
Is he known for inventing something?
Was he the victim of a crime?
Did the "something that happened to him" happen outside the United Kingdom?
[Bool] Inventor? NO
[NJ] Mugged? NO
[CdM]Overseas? NO
Did he mount or inspire some kind of protest?
Does he have a Wikipedia entry?
Is he a 'Sir .....'?
[cfm] Protester? NO * some heated discussion among part of the audience +
[Phil] Wikied? YES!
[Chalks] Knighted? NO * spontaneous sporadic claps from audience *
Has this person been stripped of his honour from the Queen?
[Bool] Demoted? NO
Has he received the Order of the British Empire?
Does he have an employer?
[GL] OBE etc? NO
[Phil] Employer? YES! * chuckles from some of the audience *
Is he a 'Lord ...'?
Is he a Duke?
[Chalks] Peer of the Realm? YES!
[GL] Duke? NO
A life peer?
[GL] Lifer? YES!
A man of the cloth?
The Lord Williams of Oystermouth?
(simulposted with Phil)
[Phil] Sky pilot? YES!
[CdM] Lord Who? NO.
Justin Portal Welby?
[NJ] The Lord Archbishop? YES!

Well done! Please accept this Shepherd's Crook shaped baton!

pedantry rears my ugly head
He's not, technically, a life peer, is he? I know ex-Arch B's of C generally are given life peerages, but not until they're ex. I think. I could well be wrong, though :-)
But no applause for my guess? That audience was harsh! Also, not to cavil, but saying "we know about him because of something that happened to him" seems to be dissing someone who rose to the highest possible point on his career path. A bit like saying we know David Cameron or Jack Welch because of something that happened to them (being elected, being appointed by a Board of Directors).
Hmmm.
Yes, I think Sir Alec would have had a few things to say about the ref in that round - I didn't guess earlier because I was sure CdM was right.

Moving on we'll have primarily VEGETABLE with major ANIMAL connections - In fact technically, there are also significant Mineral and Abstract associations as well, but that's not going to help at this stage

Can I eat it?
Can I eat it if Boolbar doesn't?
[Boolbar/CdM] Edible? - NO?
Bigger than a breadbox?
[cfm] > breadbox? - YES
Is the Vegetable part the Animal connection's habitat?
[Raak] Is the Vegetable part the Animal connection's habitat? - YES, you could put it like that (a little ripple)
Is the animal a bird?
Is the animal human?
Is the animal a fish?
Going OK so far
[cfm] avian? - NO
[Raak] Human? - YES
GLogin] Piscine? - NO
A log cabin?
[GL] Log Cabin? - NO *audience is stirring, some applausse heard*
Unique?
A famous home?
Warm
[CdM] just the 1? - YES
[cfm] Famous home? - YES *sustained applause*
Located in Europe?
In the USA?
[GL] Bravo
Well, this is very efficient
[cfm] European? - NO
[Tuj] USian? - YES
Built in the 20th century?
[cfm] C20? - NO
George Washington's home at Mount Vernon?
Is it famous because someone famous lived there?
Does it begin with the initial letter of Pennsylvania?
And the winner is
[Raak] Mount Vernon it is!!
I've just been reading a biography. Interesting that his greatness is as much about when he gave up power as when he wielded it.
Here, have this branch of a cherry tree I've just cut down as a baton.
Ah, so this is why my memory failed to conjure up a vision of a wooden house.
Q: Is the mansion at Mount Vernon built of wood or stone?
A: Mount Vernon is of frame construction, and the sheathing is beveled and covered with a mixture of paint and sand to give the appearance of stone.
Never actually been there, so I just went straight to Wikipedia, which just says 'The mansion is built of wood in neoclassical Georgian architectural style'.
The next is ANIMAL.
Is it unique?
Human?
[Notboolbarjohn] A unique human.
Is the unique human male?
Is this human still alive?
[cfm] Male.
[Boolbar] Alive.
Begins with P?
The odds aren't good on our 4-0 start continuing...
[Tuj] **applause** Yes, I think it would be fair to say so.
Is this unique living male human beginning with P European?
[CdM] Almost certainly European.
Is the answer a title rather than a name?
The next pope?
[NotJohn] Yes!
[CdM] The exact words on the card! Habemus papam! *a puff of white smoke emerges from a cottage in north Wales*
Fastest ever?
Well, yes, that was what I was hinting at, but I didn't want to hog it.
We got that one with 8 guesses, all answered 'Yes'. That must be a record.
[NJ] Well, except for this. And, yes, I knew that you had probably guessed the answer, but I didn't want to let the streak be broken.

All right. A nice easy MINERAL .
Unique?
Cor.
Primarily Rock/stone?
Of course, if the Ghanaian or Canadian cardinal is appointed then we will have to come back and rewrite one of the YESs as a NO)
On/in the Earth?
Unique? Yes. But, oddly enough, also No.
Primarily Rock/stone? Yes. *applause*
On/in the earth? Yes.
Incidentally, there is also an animal connection, but I was unaware of it until I started reading Wikipedia, and I suspect it won't be useful.
Is it smaller than Kylie Minogue?
Begin with 'P' ?
A human construction?
The remains of the Chelyabinsk meteor?
Smaller than Kylie? No.
Begins with P? Yes?
Human construction? No. (*a few members of the audience whisper among themselves about some technicalities, but agree with the conclusion*)
Meteoric remains? No. ( *a few members of the audience applaud the insight of the question*)
A natural geographic feature?
Pyramid of Cheops?
Natural geographic feature? Well, yes and no. The spirit of the question points to Yes, but I am not sure it really qualifies as a geographic feature, and there is some potential quibbling about natural (see "Human construction?").
Pyramid of Cheops? No.
The parallel roads?
You know how it is - you have a thought and just have to throw the guess in even though there's plenty more digging to be done.
Is it south of the Tropic of Cancer?
Parallel roads? No.
South of Tropic of Cancer? No.
In one single geographical location?
The North Pole?
In one location? Strictly speaking, No.
North Pole? No.
Geographic location modified by man?
Geographic location modified by man? I am really having trouble knowing how to answer this. The answer does not refer to a geographic location as such, though it does refer to something associated with a particular geographic location.

I think you just asked this that so you can get revenge on my quibbling about your previous one. :-)
Does it move?
Is this a jewel?
Does it move? Not in general, no.
A jewel? No.
This is one of those topics that i thought would be relatively straightforward when I thought of it, but was a bit more complicated once I did a bit of research. You might find the best route is to think in terms of the geographic location.
Is the associated geographic location in Europe?
In Europe? No.
Is the associated geographic location in Asia?
In Asia? No.
You might also want to revisit the audience applause.
Is the associated geographic location in N America?
Welcome back, Chalky
North America? Yes.
Is the answer on the card the name of the rock/stone?
Thanks CdM.
Is it connected with mining/drilling?
Answer on card name of rock/stone? Yes. *applause*
Connected to mining? No.
Is the geographical bit a mountain?
Yellowstone Park?
Mountain? No. *some laughter*
Yellowstone? No.
Does it have a superficies of less than 1 square mile?
Superficial superficies? Yes.
Is the word begining with P the location of the AOTC?
P-word = location? Yes. *applause* (Technically, actually, the answer is Yes and No, but that would mislead much more than it would help.)
Roxbury Puddingstone?
Roxbury Puddingstone? *googles* No.
In the USA?
In the USA? Yes. I think this is eminently guessable now.
Plymouth Rock?
And I was right!
Plymouth Rock is correct!

Never having been there, I had always assumed it was just this place on the coastline. But no. Turns out it is a smallish rock (though bigger than Kylie!) that has been split into two (not to mention having lots of smaller pieces chipped off it), and both pieces have been moved. One is still in Plymouth, and one is in Brooklyn.

*chips off baton-sized piece and hands it to cfm*
[CdM] *declines contraband baton* You can get arrested for that, you know. :-) Okay, let's try this:
ABSTRACT with animal assocations
Is the animal association a single human?
NotJohn's retired "Im"?
A piece of music?
[INJ] Singularly human? NO. There are multiple associations.
[Tuj] Nominal amputations? NO but *laughs*
[CdM] Hum a few bars? NO
Are the animals referred to by association human?
Is it a well-known saying?
Is there a religious or spiritual connection?
But is it art?
[Phil Human association? YES and NO. There are multiple animal associations and at least one of them is human.
[Boolbar] Just sayin'? NO.
[NJ] Prayer and stuff? NO
[Tuj] Artful? YES *applause*
The visual arts?
A story?
Is the answer on the card a single word?
[NJ] Eyes have it? YES *applause*
[Phi] Tell me a story? YES *fair and equal applause*
[Tuj] One word answer? NO
Related to a TV series?
[Tuj] TV-related? NO
Film/movie related?
[NJ] Wide screen? YES *applause*
Was it nominated for an Academy Award?
[GL] Nods from the Academy? YES *three thundrous claps*
Was it a winner of the Best Picture award?
Came out since 1/1/2000?
[Cdm] Top honor? NO
[NJ] Post-2000? NO
Begins with P?
Is Meryl Streep in the film?
[Tuj] I'll have the usual? NO
[Boolbar] Meryl-y on our way? NO
Did it win an Academy Award?
[GL] Oscar winner? YES
Was it filmed in color?
Does the answer on the card include the word 'king'?
[CdM] Full spectrum? NO
[Dujon] Royal treatment? NO
Did it star Jimmy Stewart?
[CdM] That leading man? NO *audience perks up a smidge*
Was it a musical?
[NJ] Musical? NO.
Passport to Pimlico?
[Software] P-to-P? NO (I don't think that won any Oscars.)
(Players may want to revisit unresolved questions around animal associations?)
Was the Oscar won in the 1950s?
[Phil] 50s vintage? NO *a little twitter from the audience*
earlier?
[NJ] Pre-1950? NO
The Poseidon Adventure?
Is it an English language film?
[Software] Fish story? NO
[Boolbar] English language? YES
To recap, The AOTC is both an English language story and a non-musical, black-and-white film made between 1959 and 1999. It has won 3 Academy Awards, but none of those were for Best Picture. There is at least one human association (hard to imagine a story or film without one) but there may be other animal associations, as well. Oddly, the audience perked up at the mention of a leading man not connected to the film--perhaps because the players were getting warm in some way. It could also point to another productive line of questioning. :-)
Did it win the Academy Award for Best Actor?
Is this black-and-white movie from the 60s?
Psycho?
[Boolbar] Leading leading man? YES *vigorous applause*
[Chalky 1] Product of the 60s? YES *applause continues*
[Chalky 2] Shower scene? NO
To Kill A Mockingbird?
Has to be, surely...
[CdM] TKAM, surely? YES. A favorite film. I came perilously close to naming a kid Atticus.
*hands CdM the severed leg of a busted up chiffarobe* Careful now, don't get yourself a splinter.
Well, once we know we were looking for a multiple-oscar-winning B&W movie post 1960, it was pretty easy, even without the answer to Boolbar's question.
MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections
Unique?
metallic?
Bigger than Dame Judi Dench?
Unique? Yes.
Metallic? No.
Bigger than Judi? *audience laughter* Bigger than Dame Judi and Dame Maggie combined!
A statue?
A statue? No.
A building?
A building? No.
Human-made?
Human-made? Most definitely not.
Mountainous?
Is it in Europe?
Begins with P?
Mountainous? No.
In Europe? No.
Begins with P? Yes.
Does it have a border?
Is it a desert?
Does it have a border? Depends what you mean by a border. In a sense it does, yes, but you might want to clarify what you mean.
Is it a desert? No.
Of this earth?
Of this earth? Yes. *a little muttering in the audience*
Is there a connection to the earth's atmosphere?
Is it underground?
Connection to atmosphere? Well, yes, for a fairly broad definition of "connection"
Underground? No.
Is it less than 65 million years old?
Is it wet?
Now we are getting somewhere
Less than 65 million years old? No. *applause*
Wet? Yes. *applause*
Might this be an expanse of water?
Is it likely to be a source of preciptation?
Might this be an expanse of water? Yes it might.
Source of precipitation? Only in the sense that an expanse of water is an indirect source of precipitation.
Is it a pacific ocean?
Pacific Ocean. No. *some more muttering in the audience*
(I think that my No is the best answer, but the mutterers do have a point.)
The Philippine Sea?
Phil's sea? No.
Is it contained within the Pacific Ocean?
Contained within the Pacific Ocean? No.
Patagonian fjords?
Patagonian crinkly bits? No.
Panama Canal?
Is it bigger than Wales?
(clarifying) ...in surface area?
In the possession of a single country?
*pondering the audience applause for the age question*
Is it a glacier? *trying to imagine how a body of water gets classified as mineral*
Panama Canal? No.
Bigger than Wales? Yes.
In the possession of a single country? No. *some laughter*
A glacier? No. (And, yes, that is I guess a legitimate question/complaint. I think that in this game we generally take a broad definition of "mineral". For example:
4 : something neither animal nor vegetable.
The answer on the card certainly wouldn't fit the more narrow definition of mineral, which includes the word "solid". I am not sure how else I should classify a body of water, though. In any case, you (the group) have correctly figured out that this is a body of water, bigger than Wales, more than 65 million years old, with some muttering about whether or not it is a Pacific Ocean.)
Is it under the Antarctic ice cap?
Under Antarctica? No.
*Stands corrected and clearly uninitiated* Does the P stand for Pacific?
P for Pacific? No. (And I don't think you should stand corrected at all. Your definition is more standard than the one I was (unthinkingly) using.)
Panthalassa?
Panthalassa is correct! Three hundred million years ago (give or take a decade), our current continents were joined in the single landmass of Pangaea. Panthalassa was the ocean surrounding that continent. Or, if you prefer, the giant salt lake in the middle of it. It can be thought of as the precursor of the current Pacific Ocean. I had originally planned to make Pangaea the word on the card, but when I checked some sources (ok, ok, wikipedia) I learned about Panthalassa, and thought that sounded more fun.

*passes NJ some empty space with a baton-shaped hole in the middle*
Oops - Sorry for the lurker's victory
Let's try ABSTRACT with significant Animal connections (Mrs NJ thinks it should actually be Animal)
Is it fictional?
Is it a taxonomic class?
Does it refer to a group of animals (more broadly than in the sense of Raak's question)?
Unique?
[CdM] That's my one new thing for the day, ta!
[GL] Unreal? - NO
[Raak] Group of creatures? - NO
[CdM] Group of creatures? - NO
[Tuj] Just the one? - YES (though not a very meaningful question or answer)
Is it a characteristic or feature of an animal?
A human invention?
Onomatopoeia?
Cold
[CdM] Animalish thing? - NO
[Tuj] Man-made-up? - NO
[cfm] Sounds like? - NO
Phrase of saying?
[Software] I say, I say? - NO
Begins with P?
Are the animal connections human?
[Tuj] P-ness? - One of the words on the card begins with a P
[CdM] Oh, the Humanity? - YES
Is the AOTC a post/job/position held by a person?
Connected with a particular geographic location?
[Chalky] Gissa job? - NO
[Tuj] In one place? - YES *for the first time the audience shows some interest*
Is the particular geographic location in Africa?
[Boolbar] African? - NO
Geo = Europe?
Is the association a particular country?
[Software] EU? - NO
[Tuj] Is the association a particular country? - NO (but I'm not quite sure what the question is asking)
(*the audience is still attentive at this line of questioning*)
Is this a race or tribe of peoples?
[Chalky] Race/tribe? - NO (Remember, it's abstract)
A language?
A belief system of some kind?
[Chalky] Lingo? - NO
[cfm] Belief system? - NO
A disease?
Is the particular geographic location a body of water?
[Chalky] Poorly? - NO
[Boolbar] Watery? - NO
Connected with religion?
Is the particular geographic location in the Southern Hemisphere?
Back to basics: Is the AOTC the name of a place?
[Tuj] God-bothery? - NO
[CdM] Meridional? NO
[Chalky] Place Name? - Not as such but *considerable applause*
Do the animal connections involve more than 10 humans?
[CdM] >10 people? - YES (quite a lot more, but I won't be able to give you an exact figure)
Related to a trade or skill?
To do with a nation or race?
[cfm] Artisanry? - NO
[Software] Nation/Race? - NO (or only vaguely)
To do with a religion?
[Phil] Religion? - Well, it wasn't when Tuj asked, but He does move in mysterious ways *checks* - Still NO
Clarification
I should probably have been slightly less dismissive of Software's question wrt a nation. There is a bit of a link there, but I'm afraid it might lead you astray. The answer is still NO.
To do with politics?
If it does suddenly become to do with religion, you will let me know, right?
[Phil] Political? - NO (or only obliquely)
Is it something that people do at a particular location?
Is it related to light?
A website?
We apologise for the short break in service
[Boolbar] Let's do the show right here? - NO - not 'do'
[Tuj] Et lux erat? - NO
[Chalky] Where the spiders are? - NO
Is this a custom or tradition linked with a particular location?
Race rather than nation related?
[Chalky] Custom/tradition - I certainly hope not
[Software] Race v Nation - a bit of both (depends on your pov), but I'd still answer NO to either.
An area which covers part/all of more than one country?
Would you characterize this as a negative phenomenon or experience?
Is this connected with death?
Progress of a sort
[Dujon] >1 country? - NO
[cfm] Negative? YES (phenomenon or experience? - NO)
[Chalky] Connected with death - YES
Does it involve deliberate killing of humans?
[CdM] You have deaded me? - YES *applause*
Is it a method of killing humans?
[cfm] Method of Killing? - NO
The Black Plague?
(I seem to have mashed up "Black Death" and "bubonic plague." Abomination!)
The death penalty?
[Quendalon] Bubonic Death? - NO
[CdM] Judicial killing? - NO
(Remember - associated with a specific location) - let me re-answer Tuj's earlier question - the association is not a specific country, but is in a specific country. Also, I should probably have answered Phil's question about Politics a bit more positively - there is a link, but that's not the essence of the answer.
Is this a mass graveyard?
Is the geographic region (in) North America?
[Chalky] Mass Grave? - NO *a little ripple*
[Quendalon] Norteamericano? - NO
Associated with a specific historical event?
[Quendalon] Specific historical event? - YES *some relieved applause*
Did it take place in Asia?
Did the historical event occur before 1800?
A WW1 Cemetary?
Named after a person?
[Phil] Asian? - YES *more relieved applause*
[Boolbar] pre-1800? - NO
[Chalky] Rows of crosses?- NO
[Quendalon] eponymous? - NO
Did the killings involve firearms?
A shot in the dark.
Getting warm
[Quendalon] Shots in the dark and light? - YES
The My Lai (Pinkville) Massacre?
I was briefly sure that the answer had to be the My Lai massacre because INJ started this AVMA on its 45th anniversary. Then I was convinced that was wrong because of the lack of a P-word. Then googling revealed that My Lai was codenamed "Pinkville", which I hadn't known. So now I am convinced I am right again. :-)
Ha! I was waiting for that.
[CdM] My Lai? - NO but *considerable applause*
The Panjiayu Tragedy?
Going off to look it up
[Phil] Panjiayu? - NO
How about the Pingdingshan one then?
(good old wikipedia)
Let me follow you through wikipedia
[Phil] Pingpong? - NO (IMO it's less obscure - I didn't look it up)
Did this event take place in China?
[Phil] Sinitic? - NO
Phong Nhi and/or Phong Nhat massacres?
Yet more wikipedia for me
[cfm] Phong Not? - NO
(Bonus answer 'Massacre? - NO')
Did the historical event occur before 1920?
Did more than one person perform the actual killing?
[Boolbar] Pre 1920? - NO
[Quendalon] >1 killers? - YES *a few chuckles in the audience*
The 38th Parallel?
[Chalky] Korean? - NO
Was this a key event in a war?
In Asia. Which has been established. I think.
Aha!
[Chalky] Key event in a war? - YES *considerable applause* (and yes, Asia (not China or Korea) has been established)
So .. are we talking Vietnam then?
Which was NOT established by previous line of questioning.
or Japan?
The audience is beginning to pack bags.
[Chalky] Vietnam? - YES
[Phil] Therefore Japan? - NO
Dien Bien Phu?
Has Raak scored a lurker's victory?
The Battle of Dien Bien Phu?
... as you specifically stated earlier that this was not the name of a place.
There, that wasn't so hard, was it?
[Chalky] It is indeed The battle of Dien Bien Phu where a small French force held out for weeks against overwhelming Viet Minh forces before being comprehensively defeated. The French inability to relieve or effectively resupply the garrison spelt the end of French colonial ambitions in Indo-China.
Since I got this round as a bit of a lurker I feel disinclined to step into this quarrel, but the answer is specifically the battle, not the place.

Throws a baton in the air to see who will catch it.

Me!
Thank you NotJohn for a splendid AVMA - spookily not dissimilar to a subject that'd crossed my mind a few weeks ago - should the chair beckon.
So this is not that one, NotJohn - it's this one ..

ABSTRACT
Related to mathematics?
The #1 question on the board.
Begins with P?
Surely #2.
[NJ] And well done for not getting impatient as the team worked at getting there! Bit worried about those black-humoured audience members chuckling near the end...
Pi?
In case the previous two were both correct.
Related to the arts?
Some answers
(Quendalon) Mathematics? - NO only obliquely
(Tuj) P? - YES :)
(Gusset Login) Pi? - NO
(NotJohn) Arts? NO
Is the AOTC just one word?
Science-related?
A human invention?
Good questions
(Phil) One word answer - YES
(NotJohn) Science-related? - NO only obliquely
(Tuj) Human invention? - YES although I'd question the word 'invention'
Perfection?
[Phil] Perfection? NO *audience begins to pay attention*
Does the AOTC describe a state of being or quality?
Would the answer on the card exist in a world without humans?
(No, I don't think this question is rendered moot by Tuj's question...)
Apologies for absence -
(cfm) State of being or quality? - YES
(CdM) Exist in a world without humans? - NO :)
Is the word on the card an adjective?
Clever questioning ...
(Quendo) Adjective? - NO, not in this instance.
Is the word used in reference to animals (as opposed to homo sapiens solely)?
(Dujon) In reference to animals? - NO
Is it normally considered positive?
Is the AOTC a state of mind?
Is the word used in reference to humans?
(NotJohn) Positive? To some YES; to most, I suspect NO.
(cfm) State of mind? YES
(Quendalon) Humans? - still YES
Is the word used in reference to one gender significantly more than the other?
(Quendalon) Gender specific? - NO
any more for any more?
Linked to a particular culture?
Is it a recognised medical condition or syndrome?
Pleasure?
Associated with a particular geographic location?
Does the word on the card start with a prefix?
Pedantry
(CdM) Linked to a particular culture? - Erm ... N0 - well maybe a small 'yes' but am not sure if that's helpful. Am struggling with the culture word to be honest.
(NotJohn) Medical condition/syndrome? - NO
(Software) Pleasure? - NO.
(Tuj) Location location? - NO
(Quendalon) Prefixed word? - NO
(Phil) Pedantry? - NO but *appreciative sounds can be heard in the audience*
Related to religion?
(Quendalon) Religion-related? Could be - but not necessarily.
An attitude?
Related to philosophy?
Related to language?
(Dujon) An attitude? - YES it is. And more. *audience has perked up* .
(Quendalon) Philosophical? - if you scratch the surface, the AOTC might be ascribed to various philosophies - so I'd say more Yes than No. However, this could apply to most attitudes so my answer may not be too helpful.
(NotJohn) Language? - NO

*contemplating an earlier question by Quendalon regarding mathematics - perhaps I should have replied 'Yes, but only obliquely'*
Perfectionism?
(NotJohn) Perfectionism? - NO *audience remains perky*
Does the AOTC end with "ism" ?
Aha!
(Phil) -ism? - NO - although all three letters are contained within but not necessarily in the same order :)
Promise?
Is the word on the card a noun (in this instance)?
.. back in business

(Tuj) Promise? - NO
(Quendalon) A noun? YES indeed it is.
Perfect?
(Software) Perfect? - NO more than when Phil asked the same on 28th March :)

I chose this 'P' word because it has a succinct definition. A human trait, which we have established, which can easily be arrived at given some judicious questioning.
However, this word has another use which necessitates a change to a couple of my replies. Mathematical/Scientific/Philosophical links are rather stronger if this path to the solution is chosen.
... and what's more
... a little research tells me that this alternative use of my P word is the crux of a Subject for guessing in this very game back in 2005.
Related to anger?
Proof?
Is the 'P' silent?
(cfm) Related to anger? - NO
(Gusset Login) Proof? - NO (see my last reply to Phil)
(NotJohn) Silent P? - NO. A noisy one :)
Does the word on the card end with a suffix?
Flailing around in the dark, because frankly I'm stumped.
(Quendalon) Suffix? NO - nor an 'ology' or 'ism'

--- begins with a P and also contains the letters m, s and i within. One word. A human trait which is neither gender nor geographically related. Desirable to some but probably rather annoying for others.
This particular word has another use and is key to a scientific/mathematical/philosophical principle which was the subject for an AVMA in 2005.
Parsimony?
While I try to think of another way in.
Result!
Thank you and well played NotJohn - was hoping for an early solution today as I am in need of rescue ...
For me - Parsimony is frugality or excessive economy which was my starting point all those days ago. As for the secondary meaning - Occam's Razor was the subject of the AVMA (with the principle of parsimony at its technical core).

And I used the word 'rescue' advisedly. My daughter has just gone into early labour and I may needed at the hospital ...
*swiftly hands over baton to NotJohn on way out*
Calling Raak
[Chalky] Hope it all goes well
Yes, the mathematical and philosophical connotations did come to me after I'd thought of the word.
Now maybe I can remedy the unsatisfactory end to the previous game by suggesting that Raak gets his belated turn.
Who, me?
Er, ok then. The next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
[Chalky] Best wishes for all three of you.
Is the animal connection human?
Any artistic connection?
[cfm] Human
[NJ] Not artistic.
Is it the act of giving birth?
[Chalky] More best wishes winging their way to you.
Is there more than one word on the card?
[Chalky] Best wishes and congratulations! Remember that "Mornington Crescent" is a lovely name for a girl or a boy.
Is the answer a phrase or saying?
[Chalky, Ms Chalky] All the best!
An intellectual process?
[Chalky] How lovely! Also you look far too young to be a grandmother. :-)]
[B] Topical waaaah!!!? No.
[Q] More than one word.
[Tuj] Not a saying?
[cfm] Not intellectual.
we are not a grandmother .. yet
Thanks for all the good wishes! Bad News - daughter poorly. Good News - 32 wk foetus staying where it is for the time being.)
Sorry to interrupt your game Raak. I have a question .. coming up shortly
More than one human being?
Is it unique?
Is it an event?
[Chalky] More than one.
[Q] Not unique.
[NJ] Not an event.
Fictional?
[Chalky] Not fictional.
A group?
[GL] Not an organised group, although the people associated with this have something in common.
Do any of the words on the card start with 'P'?
[Q] No Ps anywhere.
[Raak] To be clear, is this simply a flamboyant way of saying no to the question that was asked, or are you providing additional information to the effect that the letter 'P' does not appear anywhere on the card?
[Q] The letter P does not occur anywhere on the card.
[Raak] Excellent, thank you!
This thing in common - medical/health connections?
Any political connections?
[Chalky] No medical/health connections.
[NJ] Yes, political connections.
The Iron Lady?
[S] Ding-dong? No.
A recognized voting block that is not formally organized?
Is it associated with a specific geographical area?
[cfm] Not a voting block.
[NJ] Not really. The thing on the card is found in many places.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
[Chalky] (laughter) Absolutely not anarcho-syndicalism.
The humans involved, are they politicians?
[Q] Not politicians.
Is it a political or economic philosophy?
[NJ] Not a philosophy, although it could be said to be connected with one.
A trade agreement?
[GL] Not a trade agreement.
Is there a fiscal or financial connection?
[NJ] *applause from those members of the audience who haven't been holding their breath so long they've expired* To do with money! Yes!
Does each instance of the phrase on the card relate to more than one human?
[Q] Er....no. Each instance involves one human.
How about playing Hangman for it! Is there a Ⱙ?
(hastily withdrawing his hand from the ventriloquist's dummy) No Ⱙ.
Is there a 'V'?
Hmm. Related to both politics and money. Each instance involves one human, and the people associated with this have something in common. Could be said to be connected with a philosophy.
[Q] No V.
Connected with individual wealth?
[NJ] **applause** Yes! Very much connected with individual wealth!
Income tax?
[CdM] Not income tax.
Connected with an increase in individual wealth?
Shareholder?
Unearned Income?
[GL] *more applause* Yes, an increase in individual wealth.
[S] Not shareholders.
[NJ] *laughter* Legally speaking, it is not classified as unearned income.
Union strike benefits?
[Q] Not strike benefits.
Expenses of some sort?
[NJ] Duck houses? No.
Associated with gambling?
Connected with Banker's Bonuses?
[NJ] Not gambling.
[GL] Not merely connected, but the very words on the card! Have this fat brown envelope.
Oh, um er... right

thanks

ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
Is the animal element human?
Is the vegetable edible?
[NJ] Oh the humanity? (animal) No.
[Chalky] Just eat it? (veg) Yes
Is the AOTC food?
[NJ] Glorious food? Yes, I believe most people would classify it as food.
Marmite?
Associated with a particular culture?
[Quenda] Yeeeach? No
[CdM] regional speciality? I would say, no, but some people disagree.
Savoury - as opposed to sweet?
Is it cooked?
[Chalky] Savoury? Yes
[Quenda] Heated? Yes
Containing multiple distinct (as opposed to mixed or blended) ingredients?
Is the animal part - meat?
[CdM] Clumps o'stuff? Yes
[Chalky] meat? (animal) Yes
Is the AOTC in the form 'A and B'?
As in 'Bangers and Mash'
Is there a liquid component?
Is it a sandwich?
Is it like a proper meal - Sunday Roast or suchlike?
Is the vegetable part potatoes cut into strips and deep fried?
Sorry for the delay, I was at a friend's funeral and couldn't get to the net.
[NJ] A + B? No
[cfm] liquid? There shouldn't be, No.
[Tuj] The Earl of foods? Yes
[Chalky] A meal in itself? No, its a sandwich, see Tuj's question above.
[Raak] Do you want fries with that? No.
A hero/hoagie/submarine sandwich?
A BLT?
[cfm] One of those types? It can be
[Chalky] BLT? Yes. Have a delicious baton.
<mode=ultrapedant>So the bread was made without salt? Yuk.</mode> Sorry, once I thought of it, I couldn't keep it to myself. Sorry again.
Gosh
Thanks GL - that was a swift conclusion - probably due the early airing of the 'edible' question.

Aiming for another quickie with:

MINERAL and VEGETABLE with a pedant-sized trace of ANIMAL

Is it a tool?
[NotJohn] Tool? NO
Something made of wood held together with metal?
[Raak] Wood held with metal? NO
A geographical feature?
Is it a sandwich?
Is the vegetable part potatoes cut into strips and deep fried?
[NotJohn] Geographical feature? YES
[Tuj] Sandwich? NO :)
[Gusset Login] Stripped fried spuds? NO :)
... furthermore - it doesn't begin with P.
Is its name something-or-other forest?
[Rosie - hello:)] Something-or-other forest? NO *audience perks up*
Is its name Mount something-or-other?
[GL] Mount ...? NO
Is it in a single country?
[Chalky] Oh, you answered a question I didn't ask! Perhaps "Is it a sandwich?" should become my default question...
Is it unique?
[GL] Unique? YES
[Tuj] In a single country? YES
In Europe?
[Tuj] Europe? Oh YES indeedy
In the British Isles?
[Rosie] British Isles? YES
Is it on a hill?
Is it a range of hills?
[Raak] ON a hill? There is some undulation but contour lines indicate the AOTC isn't actually ON a hill. *audience applauds the question*
[Rosie] A range of hills? NO
A site of archaeological significance?
... nearly there
{Raak] Archaeological significance? YES! *huge cheer erupts from audience*
A henge?
A stone circle but not technically a henge?
Is it about 2 miles (3.2 km) west of Amesbury and 8 miles (13 km) north of Salisbury?
Stonehenge?
I may be wrong but I'm not proud.
*audience on edge of their seats*
[NotJohn] A Henge? YES!
[Gusset Login] A stone circle/not technically a henge? NO - the AOTC is both
[Raak] NO ... therefore
[Quendalon] NO - not Stonehenge.
Avebury Stone Circle?
The Ring of Brodgar?
It's a win!
[NotJohn] Brodgar? Not in Scotland .. staying with my county of residence - Wiltshire - and
Phil scores a stunning lurker's victory with the correct [more-or-less] AOTC - Avebury Ring.
*gently passes neolithic baton to Phil*
,
Apols for the lurk, but every time I thought of a question, someone else had asked it. I'll make this one quick (I hope).

Mineral

Metal?
A good start...
[NJ] Metal? YES
Iron?
[GL] Iron? YES or NO, depending on the specific meaning of the question.
A manufactured item?
Stainless steel?
Unique?
But is it art?
An iron--like the kind with which one presses one's shirts?
Smaller than a telephone kiosk?
A bridge?
[NJ] Manufactured? YES
[Raak] Stainless Steel? YES, that's what it's made of *a ripple of applause*
[Quendalon] Unique? NO
[Tuj] Art? NO
[cfm] An iron? NO
[Chalky] < phone box? YES
[GL] Bridge? NO
Medical connections?
Is it smaller than a breadbox / bread bin?
Inverting the classic question.
[Raak] Medical? NO (well, a small connection, but it won't help)
[Quendalon] Smaller than breadbox? YES
Does it have any moving parts?
[NJ] Moving parts? YES
Is there one in your kitchen?
[Tuj] In my kitchen? NO. Well, there might be, but I'd move it if I were tidying up.
A tool?
[NJ] Tool? YES
Calipers?
[Software] Calipers? NO *Most of audience look slightly bemused by the handful that clapped, briefly*
A Leatherman?
(On the grounds that a Swiss Army Knife has plastic as well)
A hole punch?
[NJ] Leatherman? NO *some audience members explain to others what a Leatherman is, after which some of them make appreciative noises*
[Raak] Hole punch? NO
Does it cut?
[cfm] A cutter? YES *Applause*
A tin-opener?
Garden shears?
A kitchen tool?
End game appears to have commenced
[Rosie] Tin opener? NO (I wouldn't move that out of the kitchen when tidying)
[Raak] Garden Shears? NO (I'd call them bigger than a breadbin) *appreciative applause*
[NJ] A kitchen tool? NO (again, I'd keep that in the kitchen).
Secateurs?
[Software] Secateurs? NO *more applause*
Scissors?
D'oh - I meant to ask 'garden', for that reason and then turned the question round without thinking.
Wire cutters?
[NJ] Scissors? YES, but more detail required. *Lots of applause*
[Raak] Wire cutters? NO, see above.
Pinking shears?
Nail clippers?
[Quendalon] Pinkers? NO *some applause*
[Raak] Nail clippers? NO *Thunderous applause, oohs, aaahs, gasps and winces*
Nail scissors?
Hair scissors?
[Raak] Nail scissors? YES INDEED! *Deafening roars*
Congrats! Here, have this toenail as a makeshift baton.
VEGETABLE, with ABSTRACT connections.
An object made from vegetable matter?
[Rosie] Yes, made from vegetable matter.
Is wood involved?
Is it edible?
Unique?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
[GL] Would be wood.
[NotJohn] Edible wood? No.
[Tuj] Not unique.
[Phil] Bigger than a toaster.
Is it bigger than a cross-channel ferry?
[GL] Smaller than a cross-channel ferry.
Found domestically?
Does it have writing on it?
Naturally occurring?
[S] Domestic? Not really, at least nowadays.
[Q] Probably not written on.
[T] Not naturally occurring.
A piece of furniture?
Would one find it in a pub?
[R] Not furniture.
[C] *a ripple of applause* Yes, one might find it in a pub.
Does it have a picture or pictures on it?
Is it a container of some sort?
Is it used for a leisure activity?
[Q] No picture.
[NJ] *applause* A container.
[P] A witty thought goes up on the laser display board. Laughter in the audience. Not used for a leisure activity.
Normally holds liquid?
[NJ] Can normally hold liquid.
A barrel?
Might be my turn in it, innit?
[Rosie] *cheering* A barrel is involved. I suggest the abstract connection would repay attention.
Is it a well-known phrase or saying .. like Roll Out The Barrel?
[Chalky] Yes! A well known phrase or saying.
"Over a barrel"?
[Q] Not over a barrel.
So it's a colloquial phrase along the lines of "a can of worms"?
Scraping the barrel?
Barrel of laughs?
[D] Yes.
[R] *oooooh!!* Not quite.
[Q] Not a barrel of laughs.
The bottom of the barrel?
Attempted lurker victories R us
[CdM] Yes! Rosie was nearly there, but you have nailed the exact answer! Have this recycled wooden planter. Ignore the rotten apple juice seeping out of it. And it can now be revealed that the Witty Comment on the laser display board was about the undemanding leisure activity of shooting fish in one.
hmmm ...
.. thought it might be that - was rather hoping that Rosie might get a turn 'in the chair'.
May I respectfully suggest a slight change to the non-rules of this game, ie. you need to have asked at least one question before guessing the AOTC? Or is that altogether too regimentatious? < made up word alert >
I am more than happy for Rosie to take the chair if he wishes. He definitely got 98.2 percent of the way to the AOTC. Mind you, I think this game has had its share of lurker victories, and I'm not exactly a lurker in the grand scheme of things. :-)
Is flattered
(Chalky, CdM) Generous, but let's play by the rules. In any case, if a lurker wins, their "punishment" will be to host the next one. That'll teach 'em not to just jump in and out.

(CdM) Couldn't you have made it 98.4 - body temperature, the percentage of H2SO4 in conc. sulphuric, the number of feet in 30 metres . . . . I could go on.

While you're all being polite, I'll get the first question in: Would you find it in your kitchen?
Is it a sandwich?
Anarcho-syndicalism?
Convectively Available Potential Energy (CAPE)?
Where's CdM? Give us a category, man.
This is ANIMAL and VEGETABLE with a trace of MINERAL. I had decided on this before I saw any of your questions, so I am going to go with it. Oh god, I hope Rosie has heard of it :-)

In your kitchen? You could, but it's probably unlikely. I'm pretty sure I have never had one in my kitchen.
A sandwich? Yes! *applause*
Anarchosyndicalism? No.
CAPE? No.
Is egg an ingredient?
Explicitly not counting any egg(s) that are part of the bread-baking process.
A horseburger in a bun?
Eggy? Interesting question. Not necessarily, and not in its own right. But there are versions of this that would include egg as an ingredient, I think.
Shergarburger? No.
Unique?
[Chalky] You have taken the very wind from my sails!
Unique? No. (A unique sandwich??)
Edible?
Is saurkraut involved?
Contains fish?
A Croque Monsieur?
Edible? I certainly hope so. It's a sandwich!
Sauerkrauty? It's possible (I can find examples online), but it is certainly not an essential or even a standard ingredient.
Fishy? It sometimes contains fish, yes, but need not. For free, I will tell you that it is quite common for it to contain other seafood, however.
Croque monsieur? Non, madame.
Clarification on the egg: my reply was meant to imply that it would be very unusual to see egg listed explicitly as an ingredient, and I stand by that. But googling reveals that it is not unheard of.
A po' boy?
Chip butty with mayo?
could have been a knuckle sandwich :o)
Served hot?
Smörgåsbord?
Slicing to the chase
A po'boy? Yes! (It was the only sandwich beginning with P that came to mind.) Have this foot-long baton stuffed with fried oysters. [Software] Touché, even if I'm not sure what the vegetable component of a knuckle sandwich would be. :-)
Never heard of it ;-)
Yes, well...
[Chalky] I'd bet big money that the number of people who have heard of a po'boy is at least an order of magnitude larger than the number who have heard of the Avebury Stone Circle. :-)
Ah .. but
.. we'll never find out so you may as well bet your big money on the 4.45 at Redcar :-)
For the record - yet another Lurker Victory ...
[CdM] But which is Rosie more likely to know? ;)
[Chalky] I wasn't lurking! It was just my first question of the round. And your first question plus the mention of fish made it easy. :-)
However, I am glad to hand this yummy but calorie-laden baton to someone who would like a turn. Speak up if you'd like to give it a whirl.
[Tuj] Hehe!
[cfm] Only teasing ... as you well know ;-) My mind's eye is seeing badly disguised AVMA players in the shadowy fringes of the game poised to pounce on the AOTC and it's given me an idea for a very silly game along the lines of Spot the Ostrich.
By the way, I shall decline a turn/whirl as I'm a bit too busy this coming week.
[cfm] I'm always glad to take a turn with the baton, assuming that no better candidate presents themselves.
Take it away, Q. :-)
Very well then! This one is unequivocally Vegetable.
Unique?
Well stepped into the breach, that Quenders!
[Chalky] A game idea! Sounds good!
[Tuj] Not unique. *laughter from the crowd*
Peas in a pod?
Is it a sandwich?
leaping in so if i win will not be a lurking victory :)
It is some species of wood?
Victory goes to the swift
The word on the card is "pea," for which Raak's guess is more than sufficiently accurate. Passing a small, round green baton...
Wow! Ok, the next is ANIMAL.
Human?
I chose it largely so that I could giggle inanely if Tuj asked if it began with the letter 'P'.
Is it unique?
[Q] Human.
[GL] In a sense, it is unique. But one could quibble interminably about it.
Male?
[Q] Apologies for letting you down! I do worry my poor history of questioning has skewed the game somewhat...
Currently alive?
[Quendalon] For your giggling motive alone, you're my hero!
[Q] OOPS! I meant to say "Not human".
[Tuj] Male.
[Phil] Quite likely to be currently alive.
Quadruped?
Is it unique by virtue of something it has done?
[S] Not a quadruped. [NJ] *applause* It is indeed unique by virtue of something it has done.
Is the thing that he has done a physical (versus an abstract) act?
Is this bloke animal larger than the average domestic toaster?
[cfm] A physical act.
[Chalky] Smaller than a toaster.
Is it a bird?
[Phil] Is it a plane? Is it Superman? No, it's a bird!
Cock Robin?
.. avoiding the lurker label
Nah - that was a daft question. It's still alive, you say? And 'sort of' unique?
[Chalky] Not Cock Robin. To clarify the uniqueness thing a little: the answer is a singular noun phrase beginning with "The".
The Early Bird?
[Chalky] Not the early bird, but you're thinking along the right lines.
The First Cuckoo of Spring?
[Phil] The very thing!
Woohoo! (or something that sounds remarkably like that). And not a lurk in sight.
Pressing on rapidly with

Animal (or Abstract, depending on your point of view)

Unique?
Fictional?
Is it an archosyndicalistic sandwich?

... and a 'woohoo' and 'wahay' [sounding exactly like they're spelled] for Phil's victoreee.
Human?
The bee's knees?
Is it edible?
[Quendalon] Unique? YES
[Software] Fictional? YES
[Chalky] A wossname sarnie? NO
[Tuj] Human? YES
[Rosie] Apiarian patellae? NO
[GL] Edible? NO. Technically yes, but I really don't think you should eat it.
Abstract solely because it's fictional?
An eponymous character?
[Quendalon] Solely fictionally abstract? YES
[NJ] Eponymous character? NO
A male character?
[cfm] Male? YES
I don't have a question; this is just a place-marker to avoid accusations of lurker victory later.
[CdM] This is not an answer, merely an acknowledgement of your statement.
A detective?
This is a question and also an acknowledgement of CdM's non-lurker status.
[GL] Detective? NO
C20 Literature?
This is a question but also a quibble as to whether a non-interrogatory interjection is sufficient to remove lurker status.
[NJ] 20th Century Literature? YES
Is the animal one of the big cats?
[Rosie] A big cat? NO, he's human (see Tuj's question)
Originally written in English?
[NJ] English lit? YES
Fantasy genre?
Harry Potter?
Does an interrogatory interjection remove lurker status if the question is unrelated to the AVMA AOTC?
[Quendalon] Fantasy? NO
[Software] Harry Potter? NO, not eponymous
[CdM] Questionable lurker? NO, you're not getting out of it that easily.
Appears in a series of books?
Why is CdM so convinced he is going to score a lurker's victory? Is he in league with Phil? </ratsmelling>
[NJ] In a series of books? YES *some applause*
[NJ] Am I in cahoots with CdM? One question at a time, please.
James Herriot?
[Software] Herriot? NO
I should add that when I said yes to '20th century Literature' I simply meant that there were books, not necessarily great works of literature.
Also, although I have described the character as not eponymous, I have found that he is mentioned in the title of at least one book.
A detective series?
Is CdM in league with Phil?
Is this person a restorer of antique sewing-machines who keeps an Afghan hound and lives within earshot of St. Paul's in an apartment that appears to be beyond his modest means?
Does asking an apparently relevant question remove lurker status if the question was asked solely for the purpose of removing lurker status?
[cfm] Detectives? NO
[GL] Conspirateur de Moi? NO
[Raak] Your main question? Oh so close! Actually, I lied. NO, not any part of it is correct, and a meaningless note has been made of your completely legal, yet immoral, lurk avoidance (as opposed to lurk evasion, which is strictly illegal).
Is there a connection to espionage?
Any day now we'll be getting phone calls asking 'Do you believe you have ever suffered unfairly at the hands of a lurker?' and offering their services on a 'No Win No Fee' basis (once you've paid the £300 administration charge)
[NJ] Espionage? NO *a couple of giggles from the audience*
Are they books for adults?
Which is worse - lurking or taking successive turns?
[NJ] Books for adults? NO *applause*
Are they comic books?
Did the character first appear before 1960?
[GL] COmic books? NO
[Quendalon] Pre-1960? YES
Tin-Tin?
[Tin-Tin] NO, not eponymous.
Do they share the books with an eponymous character?
[GL] Is there an eponym? Well, only about a fifth of the book titles feature one character's name, but most people would automatically answer YES. It's a definite YES for other media. *applause for a very good question*
Does this character have a "sidekick"?
Violet Elizabeth Bott?
If that isn't right I'll thcweam and thcweam until I'm thick.
[GL] Has a sidekick? NO
[NJ] Violet? NO, thcweam away.
Christopher Robin?
[cfm] Christopher Robin? NO
The Fat Controller?
[Gusset Login] YES, dagnammit, YES !! It was indeed Sir Topham Hatt 1st Bt, of "The Railway Series", often referred to as the "Thomas the Tank Engine" books, although Thomas' name is only in the title of 9 of the 42 books. The Fat Controller is named in only one title, "Thomas and the Fat Controller's Engines".
Nice to get that one finished off for the weekend. And not a hint of a lurk in sight. Please take this green flag in lieu of a baton.
Cool. I never expected having a three year old nephew would help me win anything.

This next one is:

Mineral.

Unique?
[Phil, GL] Excellent =)
Begins with 'P'?
[Tuj] I see you have well and truly nicked my signature question! So I must claim yours in turn.
[Tuj] A one off? Yes
[Quenda] P...? No.
Made of iron?
[cfm] iron? Depending on how loosely you define the terms 'made of' and 'iron' the answer could be either Yes or No.
It is more than 5% steel (which is an alloy of iron).
A building?
*lurks*
[Quenda] Building? No
[CdM] Good to see you, feel free to stop lurking and join in.
Is it larger than a standard kitchen-size refrigerator?
[cfm] > average fridge? No.
A work of art?
Made before 1900?
I'm assuming man-made because it incorporates steel rather than iron.
[Phil] Work of art? No. Although, as always with that question, some people might call it such.
[Quenda] Made before 1900? Yes.
Unique?
A scientific instrument?
Is it in a fixed location?
[Quenders] Apologies, but a change is a good as a rest!
[Rosie] Unique? Yes, still unique.
[Raak] Scientific instrument? No.
[Tuj] Unmoving? Yes.
Military in nature?
[Tuj] A fair cop. Perhaps I will advance to asking whether a thing starts with 'Q'...
Outdoors?
Shaped like a human?
*unlurks*
In the USA?
Located in a museum?
[Quenda] Military in nature? Yes, although perhaps not in nurture. :)
[Rosie] Outside? No
[Chalky] Humanoid? No
[Tuj] 'Merk'n? No
[cfm] In a museum? That's a tough question. Personally, I wouldn't count it as a museum, as such but others might see it differently.
I seem to be very much in the minority. Yes, it's in a museum.
Does it have moving parts?
Even though I have now asked a question, I would like to declare that I am immediately going to revert to lurker status.
[CdM] Moving Prats? (If you're lurking again, I don't have to answer.) No.
Does it have royal associations?
[Tuj] Royal inclinations? *Drowned out by audience aplause and has to repeat* Yes
A sword?
A suit of armour?
Moving Prats? Sounds fun.
A crown?
[cfm] Sword? *More applause* Yes
[Rosie] Suit a'more? No
[Chalurkery] Crown? No
Sword of Mercy?
Military in nature, although not in nurture.
Is this a sword used only for ceremonial purposes?
Pops out of the shrubbery hoping that no one will notice.
The Great Sword of State
Lurker? Me? No! Just a slow starter.
"The Wallace Sword" (William Wallace's Claymore) ?
[Phil] The Gromit Sword? No
[NJ] Greatsword of State? Nope
[Dujon] Ceremonial? Yes
[Quendo] Sword of Mercy? Is the AOTC.

Have a baton with an inch broken off of one end.
[GL] I accept! And with this baton, I dub thee Sir Gusset of Login.

*ahem* This next one is MINERAL.
Is it unique?
[Phil] One of a kind? NO.
Man-made?
[Raak] Man-made? YES.
Begins with Q?
[Tuj] Q-ish? NO.
Made of metal?
Bigger than an average household microwave oven?
Electronic?
[NJ] Metallic? NO.
[Phil] Bigger than a microwave oven? NO.
[Raak] Electronical? NO.
Made of stone?
[cfm] Rocky? NO.
Found indoors?
Ornamental?
Solid?
[Rosie] Can be found indoors? YES.
[Softers] An ornament? Tricky, but I'll go with NO.
[Phil] Solid? PARTLY. *polite applause*
A thermometer?
[cfm] Temperature measurer? NO.
A barometer?
Is water part of this?
Is the AOTC related to light?
[Raak] Atmospheric pressure measurer? NO.
[Chalky] Partly water? My research suggests NO. *audience murmurs*
[Dujon] Light source? NO.
Contains a liquid?
Can I eat it?
Is it used for cleaning?
Contains alcohol?
A Cartesian diver?
Lava Lamp?
[NJ] Contains liquid? YES. *applause*
[Bools] Edible? NO.
[Chalks] Cleaning device? NO.
[Raak] Contains alcohol? My research suggests YES, but that may mislead you.
[Rosie] Cartesian devil? NO.
[GL] Lava lamp? NO. *audience murmurs*
Is the solid part glass?
[Rosie] Glass? According to my research, NO, although glass may have been involved at one point.
Is the solid part plastic?
An insatiable birdie?
(Drinking bird, dipping bird, nodding duck...)
[CdM] Plastic? YES.
[Raak] Unappeasable avian? NO.
A de-icing squirt bottle?
[Rosie] Anti-icy squirty bottly thingy? NO. *audience yawns*
Does it measure anything?
Is it a common household object?
[NJ] Measuring device? NO. *scattered laughter from the audience*
[cfm] Common household object? NO, although a household is one of the most likely places to find it.
Medicinal use in any way?
[Rosie] Curative? NO.
Is this usually dome shaped?
[Dujon] Hemispherical? NO. *laughter from the audience*
Does it have medicinal purposes?
Is it a saftey device?
[NJ] Medicinal use? Still NO.
[GL] Makes you safer? NO.
Does it contain ONLY liquid?
[Phil] Contains only liquid? NO. *applause*
Does it have moving parts?
[Raak] Parts that move? YES, though my answer may mislead you.
A glow stick?
[Phil] Radiant rod? NO.
Was it invented in the last 50 years?
[Tuj] Invented after 1963? NO.
Is the plastic Bakelite?
[Phil] Bakelite? Embarrassingly, I DON'T KNOW; my research doesn't say what kind of plastic(s) are involved.
Is its purpose amusement?
[Rosie] For amusement? YES. *applause, laughter*
Shurely it's not a replica mannequin pis?
[Rosie] Little peeing statue? NO.
A tip-up, clothed/naked lady pen?
[Phil] Pen with lady floating inside? NO. *solitary golf clap from audience*
One of those snow storm globe thingys?
[Softy] Snow globe? NO. *audience murmurs*
Is the mysterious plastic transparent?
[Rosie] Transparent plastic? PARTLY. *applause*
A Sand Sculpture?
Does it have a screen?
[Chalks] Sand sculpture? NO, not sand, nor exactly a sculpture.
[NJ] Has a screen? YES, of a sort, though this answer may mislead you. *nodding and murmuring from audience*
A magic 8 ball?
[CdM] Magic 8-Ball? SIGNS POINT TO YES.
*much applause, throwing of batons, etc*
Hmmm. Maybe I'll use the eight-ball to answer all the questions for this round. That might make it more interesting.
This one is ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Animal = Human?
Human? It is decidedly so.
Fictional?
Fictional? My reply is no.
Is this person in the arts and entertainment professions?
Arts and Entertainment? My reply is no.
Is the human a politician?
Politician? Yes definitely.
American?
Female?
[Quenders, CdM] Well persevered! I think most, like me, wanted to know the answer but didn't have a clue how to attack it.
American? Don't count on it.
Female? Outlook not so good.

Turns out magic 8-balls don't have many good ways of saying No.
British?
British? My reply is no.
European?
Currently alive?
Never heard of the Magic 8-ball - even after looking it up to check.
European? You may rely on it.
Currently alive? My sources say no.
Begins with a P?
Begins with a P? Very doubtful.
Known for military achievements?
Well known in UK?
Is the AOTC a dead male European politician whose name doesn't begin with a P?
Known for military leadership? Very doubtful
Well known in UK? Reply hazy try again
Dead male non-P European politician? Signs point to yes.
Did this person die after 1900?
Died after 1900? Without a doubt.
Did this person die after 2000?
Was he a francophone?
Well known in UK?
All right. Reluctantly I think I need to abandon the 8-ball, or I risk confusing and infuriating you all.
Die after 2000? No.
Francophone? I can't tell from the sources I have checked. French was not his mother tongue, but there are some reasons to believe he may at least have had a working knowledge of the language.
Well-known in the UK? Concentrate and ask again. Oh, sorry. I do not think that, at the present time, you would say that. But the abstract connection is at least somewhat well-known.
Quisling?
Quisling? It is decidedly so! An impressive leap there. The answer is indeed Vidkun Quisling, leader of the Norwegian collaborationist government from 1942-45. Tuj asked the wrong question. One baton inscribed "with best wishes, Adolf" handed over.
Yes, well, sometimes an answer just jumps into your head and you have to take a guess.
This next one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
Animal = Human?
[Software] human animal? - YES is probably the most helpful answer
Fictional?
(The next question is: "Is this person in the arts and entertainment professions?")
[CdM] Fictional - YES
The next answer is NO
Actually, the best answer to Software would have been YESish and NO
Gollum?
[Chalky] 'well, sometimes an answer just jumps into your head and you have to take a guess' - this one happens to be wrong
is the animal a deity?
assumption alert
[Phil] Godlike animal? - NO *a couple of audience members exchange significant glances*
Begins with... um... R?
Proverbial?
Is the animal unique?
Is the animal mythical?
Aslan?
[Tuj] R-start? - NO
[Quen] Proverb? - Not as such but *some applause*
[CdM] Just the one? YES and NO
[Phil] Mythical? - YES and NO
[Raak] Aslan? - NO
Guardian Angel?
Mass assumption alert
[Software] Grauniad Angle? - NO
A character from a book (or books)?
[Phil] Character in book? - The human animal appears in at least one literary work.
A well known phrase or saying?
Is the AOTC more than one creature?
[Chalky] I say, I say, I say? - NO
[Tuj] >1 creature? - YES! *relieved applause*
All the creatures on Noah's Ark?
[Raak] The animals went in seven by seven? - NO
Devilish connection?
Does this human animal have any connection to nonhuman animals?
Is the abstract part the occupation of a human?
Yes, don't forget the abstract
[Software] Devilish? - NO
[Quen] human/nonhuman connection (until they caught him at it)? NO, not particularly, except in the context of the AOTC
[Dujon] Abstract = Occupation? - NO
Is the AOTC the title of a book?
[Tuj] Book title? - NO (at least not one I've heard of)
Bigfoot?
[Software] Size 17? - NO
Are these creatures different species - apart from the human?
First literary appearance before 1900?
[Chalky] multi-species? NO - (There's a misapprehension behind your question - I assume based on my answer to Tuj. I counted the human as a creature) So to be clear, the AOTC includes a human and another creature.
[Quen] First written about pre 1900? - YES *some chuckles in the audience*
Alice in Wonderland?
Is Software's question a 'book title' which Tuj asked and to which you have replied NO?
Thanks for clarification on the creature issue :)
Is the human named ie. Jonah and The Whale?
[Software] Miss Liddell and the Magic Mushrooms? - NO (I would consider that a 'Book Title'
[Chalky] Named Human? - YES *appreciative murmurs*
BTW - I've done some research and can't find a book title that matches the AOTC - though there are several which incorporate most of it, at least one of which is by a well-known writer. I don't think it's a useful approach for you.
Is the non-human a mythical creature?
Beginning to get somewhere
[Tuj] Non-human mythical? - NO
Is the human from the Mediterranean?
[Tuj] One of those 'Mediterranean' types? - YES
Silvio Berlusconi?
Shurely he is mythical by now.
Perseus?
Can I still pretend I'm lurking after making a guess?
First literary appearance BC?
[Software] Super Silvio? - NO
[GLogin] Perseus? - NO *some applause* (and NO)
[Raak] BCE initially? - YES
Jason and the Golden Fleece?
Is this from the Old Testament?
[Quen] Jason &c? - NO
[Chalky] OT? - NO
Is the non-human creature named?
Was this fellow an early aviator?
[Quendalon] e.g. Mrs Tiggywinkle? - NO
[Dujon] Icarine? - NO
Is the named human known to us by just a single (i.e., one word) name?
[CdM] Single name? - YES
Plato's man (i.e. a plucked chicken)?
Greek mythology?
[Raak] Plato's Man? - NO
[Quen] Greek Mythology? - YES (the human is from Greek mythology)
Theseus and The Minataur?
Pasiphaë and the Bull?
[Chalky] Theseus etc.? - NO
[Quen] Pasiphaë etc.? - NO
I said the human is from Greek mythology
Do the human and the non-human appear in combination in Greek mythology?
Does the Human's name begin with 'H'?
[Quen] Do the human and the non-human appear in combination in Greek mythology? - NO (and a good question)
Ahem *coughs*
Does the creature *belong* to the human from mythology
Looking for the link ...
Not a well known phrase or saying
Not a book title
Not a Greek myth as such
Not a proverb
[Chalky] H.....? - NO - didn't forget - just got interrupted.
All your statements are correct
You can derive from what I have told you that we have a mythical greek human and a non-mythical animal. If you get these you will not quite have the AOTC, but that will be obvious.
Is there a constellation named after either of them?
[GLogin] Constellation? - NO (at least not in the European tradition and the current standard list)
Actually, there has been a constellation proposed as the animal, but it never caught on and is not in current use. (Thank You Wikipedia)
Is it the name of a band?
Is the non-human a bird?
[NJ] Chalky's list had a question above it, note.
Is the AOTC formatted as " someone AND THE something "?
[Chalky] Creature 'owned' by human? - NO
[Phil] Band Name? - YES (or at least the name of a band is included in the AOTC, but I'd never heard of it - thank you Google)
[Tuj] Birdy creature? - NO
[Chalky] Someone & the Something? - YES *audience perks up* But that's not the entire AOTC
Is the animal a mammal?
Clutching at straws for anything that might trigger some inspiration.
Is it the name of a song?
Is the non-human aquatic?
[Phil] Mammal? - NO
[Quen] A song? - NO (I'm not going to bother to google that, so I may be wrong!!)
[Tuj] Watery? - NO
I'll see if I can think of a clue.
Is it a title of any sort?
I'm currently stumped.
Are either of them a reptile?
Quite a big nudge
[Quen] A title? - NO
[GLogin] A reptile? - Technically NO, but in common parlance some people may consider the non-human animal to be at least reptilian in some characteristics.

A couple of clues:
1. The format of the answer is actually 'THE something abstract OF someone AND THE something
2. Consider what else has come down to us from the Greeks apart from their myths and legends

Does the 'something abstract' begin with P?
Even more stumped than before.
The Ballad of John and Yoko?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
[Quen] P-abstract? - YES
[Phil] Christ, you know it ain't easy? - NO
The Paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise?
See, it wasn't that hard!
[Phil] YES!! It is Zeno's Paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise which gets most of a chapter to itself in 'Gödel Escher, Bach'

Here, have half a baton and a quarter of a baton and an eighth of a baton, and ........

The "reptilian in some characteristics" was the giveaway, once I spotted it. I am a herpetophobe, and once ran away from a girlfriend's pet tortoise, which she was holding to try and show to me. It was rather embarrassing, and gave me nightmares, but up to that point I'd thought my phobia only stretched to snakes.
Hidden text Just typing that has made me curl my legs up under my chair, rather than under the desk where I can't see.

So, our next offering is

Mineral

The plane from "Snakes on a Plane" after all the snakes have been removed?
[NJ] Ah. I'd forgotten all about the whole "Achilles and the tortoise" bit; I always just think of it as Zeno's paradox.
[CdM] The plane from the film I deliberately haven't even seen the trailer for? NO
Made of metal?
[CdM] Yes but Zeno had 9 paradoxes including the one I quoted in handing over the baton, which is related to, but not identical to 'Achilles..'
Unique?
[CdM] Good guess - after all, simply "the absence of snakes" would've been abstract, right?
Man made?
[NJ] Tortoises are reptiles in the order Testudines. What technicality are you thinking of that that cancels out?
[NJ] Made of metal? Partially
[Tuj] Unique? YES
[GL] Man-made? YES
[NJ] Have a toffee for being the only person so far not to have mentioned snakes/reptiles.
Sculptural?
[GLogin] I plead stupidity. For some reason I'd always thought that chelonians were a separate class and I didn't bother to check.
A bridge?
[NJ] Sculptural? NO
[Raak] A bridge? YES *Applause*
London Bridge?
[NJ] I always get that one confused with the Fable of the Tortoise and the Hare.
[Quendalon] London Bridge? NO
The Golden Gate?
In the USA?
The Sydney Harbour Bridge?
[NJ] I just checked Wikipedia; I hadn't ever heard of (or perhaps had forgotten; I read GEB two-thirds of my lifetime ago) several of Zeno's paradoxes. But the ones you were referring to I simply classify together in my mind as the "Zeno didn't understand infinite sequences paradox".
In UK?
In Asia?
[Raak] Golden Gate? NO
[NJ] USA? YES *Applause*
[CdM] Sydney Harbour? NO
[Chalky] UK? NO
[Quendalon] Asia? NO
In New York New York?
[NJ] NY NY? NO
Chappaquiddick bridge?
In a state on the Eastern Seaboard
[Software] Chupa Chups Bridge? NO
[NJ] Right-hand side state? YES *some more applause*
The Talmadge Memorial Bridge?
Is it well known because of an incident that happened there?
[Chalky] Talmadge? NO
[NJ] Well known because of an incident? NO
The Seven Mile Bridge?
(on the route down through the FL keys)
[CdM] 7 Mile Bridge? YES - dang, you're good! Have this baton made of recycled railway line, and well done!
Well, that was unexpected!
It was in my head because Geoguessr deposited me there a week or so ago.

VEGETABLE and possibly ANIMAL
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the animal leather?
Is it bigger than the 7 mile bridge?
Is there one in your [CdM's] home?
Begins with a P?
A vegetarian meal of some sort?
Wood? No.
Leather? No.
Bigger than 7-mile bridge? Not really a well-defined question, but the answer would have to be No if anything.
One in my home? I am pretty sure (not 100% certain) the answer is currently no, although I have had the AOTC in my home at various times.
Begins with P? One of the words on the card begins with a P.
Vegetarian meal? No. *some applause, nonetheless*
Is it a sandwich?
Sandwich? No. :-)
Potable/Edible?
Is it liquid at room temperature?
Potable/edible? Yes.
Liquid at room temperature? Yes.
Carbonated?
Is the AOTC a brand name?
Is it a condiment?
Carbonated? No.
Brand name? No.
Condiment? No.
Is it a type of tea?
Tea? No.
Alcoholic?
Is it normally consumed cold?
Alcoholic? No.
Normally consumed cold? No. [SuzieR] Welcome!
Contains coffee?
Contains coffee? No.
A type of soup?
Tea?
Sometimes served with milk, don't you know.
Is the animal element dairy produce?
That's ten noes in a row
Soup? No.
Tea? Still No.
Dairy? No.
Is it a beverage?
Is it medicinal?
A beverage? No.
Medicinal? No.
Is it sold in an average supermarket?
Is its normal use as a foodstuff
Just 'cos it's edible doesn't mean that's its primary purpose.
Sold in an average supermarket? Hmmm. Good question. It can be. I have certainly seen it for sale in regular supermarkets in the US (and perhaps in other countries, though I am not sure). But would I expect to find it if I wandered into an average supermarket here in Australia, or in the UK? Probably not. So I will go with No.
Normal use as a foodstuff? Yes. (But a good assumption-checking question!)
Argan Oil?
Still with bits of goat mixed in.
Argan oil? No.
Is it consumed by itself?
Is the P-word on the card paste?
Consumed by itself? No. *applause*
P = paste? No.
Is it a sauce for a dish?
A sauce? Yes. *applause*
More likely to be consumed in USA?
As per
Pasta sauce?
More likely to be consumed in USA? Um. Than where? It is more likely to be consumed in the USA than in some other places, and less likely to be consumed in the USA than in other other places. It is almost certainly more likely to be consumed in the USA than in the UK, if that is what you mean. :-)
Pasta sauce? No.
Does it normally contain chili?
Contains chill? Yes. *applause*
Tabasco Pepper Sauce?
Tabasco? No. (I think I would have classified that as a condiment.)
Originates in Asia?
Asian? No.
*ouch*
CdM - ooops. Thought I'd typed 'than in the UK' but didn't check preview. Thanks for clarification. I have a hunch this may be a foodstuff I haven't heard of so will withdraw from the chase ..
Pico de gallo?
Pico de gallo? No. *some applause*
*changes mind* Might this be classed as a Mexican sauce?
Piri-piri
aka peri-peri or pili-pili
Mole poblano?
Mexican sauce? Yes.
Piri-peri-pili? No.
Mole Poblano? Yes! It is indeed the Mexican sauce (or class of sauces, really) made from spices, peppers, nuts, and chocolate. And if you have never tasted a good Pollo con Mole Poblano, put that on your bucket list right now. The "animal" is because the sauce can be made with (typically chicken) stock or just with water.
[Q] Here. There's a baton on this plate somewhere.
[CdM] I will eat my way through the entire dish until I find the baton - and then keep on going! A good mole sauce dish is delicious indeed. Now I'm hungry...
Anyway, I'm currently busy in town. I will post a new AVMA item when I get home in a few hours.
By my decree, this one is MINERAL.
Unique?
[Chalky] Well? Had you heard of it?
it is solid?
[Cdm] I'd heard of "mole", but not the "poblano" bit.
Begins with a P?
(Presumably it's not a sandwich)
Begins with a Q?
[Phil] I had decided that I would accept "mole" as close enough. In most people's minds, I think mole = mole poblano.
Made of stone?
I knew 'Mole mole' but not 'Mole Poblano'
Is it metal?
[CdM] Not only knew it but have made it - and also thought it might be the answer which is why I asked the 'mexican' question. I have always believed '.. mole' to be '.. sauce' ie. Guacamole. Be that as it may, and it may not - Quendo slipped in there before me which is probably for the best given my schedule over the next few days :)
Sorry for the delay
[CdM] Unique? NO.
[Phil] Solid? YES. *applause*
[Tuj] Begins with 'P'? NO, not this time.
[CdM] Begins with 'Q'? NOPE.
[NJ] Rock? Technically YES.
[Chalks] Metal? NO.
Made of glass?
[Phil] Glass? YES. *audience murmurs*
Ornamental?
Man-made?
[Softers] Ornamental? SOMETIMES. *audience murmurs*
[Raak] Man-made? NO.
Smaller than a toaster?
Is it made of obsidian?
[Tuj] Smaller than a toaster? N/A.
[GL] Obsidian? YES, that's the word on the card!

Passing a black, glassy baton...
*says gosh*
*is impressed*
Oh. I'd expected something more specific.

OK, this one is ABSTRACT/ANIMAL.
Fictional?
[Tuj] Fictional? Yes
Fictional human?
[GL] I figured that I might want to try something obscure next time I have the baton, so I thought I'd build up some compensatory karma in advance.
In literature?
Male?
Begins with a P?
[Quenda] Fictional Human? No
[NJ] Literature? Yes
[Phul] Male? Assumed to be but I don't remember it being confirmed. I'm saying Yes.
[Tuj] Begins with P? No.
Fictional Animal?
[Chalky] Fictional aminal? Yes
Talking animal?
Is/was the author of this fictional animal female?
[Quendo] Talking? Yes.
[CdM] From the mind of a woman? No.
An animal native to asia?
[NJ] Lives in asia? No. *Some mutters of disagreement from the audience*
First written of before 1950?
Mammal?
[CdM] pre-1950? Yes
[Quando] Mammalian? No.
Ignore me, I accidentally posted twice in a row.
[Quenda] I'm sorry, did you say something?
Begins with Q?
Cheshire cat?
Cats are native to Asia, but the Cheshire cat is native to Cheshire.
[CdM] Q...? No.
[Quen Dalon] Grinning Cat? No. Also cat's are mammals.
A single individual animal?
Is it a bird?
First written of before 1900?
[GL] I thought that when you said "No" you meant "Yes."
[NJ] Singular? Yes.
[Suzierocket] bird? No.
[Quendal On] Pre-1900? No.
Does this animal also exist in the real world?
[Suzierocket] Is it a real animal? If you mean is this fictional talking animal also a real talking animal... No.
If you mean is it a member of a species that also exists in the real world... Also, no.
Smaug?
[CdM] Smaug? The very worm. Have a golden baton filtched from the dragon's horde.
All right. It has been a while since I have done an ABSTRACT. This also has ANIMAL connections.
Fictional character?
Fictional character? No.
The Origin of Species?
If this is right the cries of 'Fix!' will be deafening.
A human invention?
An emblem?
Bestiality?
Not that sort of animal connection? I'll get my coat.
TOoS? No
Human invention? No.
Emblem? No.
Animal Husbandry? No.
A metaphorical animal?
Metaphorical animal? No.
Is the AOTC a single word?
Single word? Yes.
Unique?
Unique? No.
Related to the Arts?
Related to the Arts? The best answer is No. There are connections—probably a lot of them; for example the AOTC certainly shows up in book titles and song titles—but I don't think they will be useful to you.
Is the animal connection human?
Animal connection human? Yes, but not exclusively so.
Is it an emotion or feeling?
Does it start with an S?
Does it start with a silent 'P'?
Does it end in Y?
Is the word on the card a noun?
Emotion or feeling? Yes. *applause*
Start with S? No.
Start with silent P? No.
End in Y? No.
Noun? Yes. (It is also a verb, but I am treating the AOTC as referring to the noun.)
Hunger?
Is it normally considered negative?
Attributed more commonly to one sex--reasonably or otherwise?
Hunger? No.
Normally considered negative? Yes.
Attributed more to one sex? I don't think so. I'm unaware of either an objective difference or a pervasive stereotype.
OK, I have done a little research now, and discovered that at least one aspect of the AOTC is—objectively—associated more with women than men.
Does it begin with a Q?
Begin with Q? No.
A pedantic clarification. I answered Yes to "Emotion or feeling?", and that is clearly the best answer. But we might be hesitant about applying those terms to non-human animals, so I should note that there are also senses of the AOTC that go beyond emotion/feeling.
Does this involve killing?
Sorry I'm late, it's the darned traffic.
Involve killing? Not usually. Occasionally, yes.
Would this type of behaviour be classified as a syndrome or even illness?
Syndrome? Well, first, it isn't a "type of behaviour" as such, though it certainly can be associated with certain behaviours. And although it can sometimes be associated with a syndrome/illness, it isn't in itself one.
Is it normally considered rational in reasonably common circumstances?
Do you know of an emoticon which expresses this?
Does it start with a non-silent 'P'?
Is it drepressing?
Normally considered rational? *audience applauds the question* No. In some circumstances quite the contrary. Although it is not always considered irrational, either.
Emoticonned? I was not aware of one, but the google does give me examples. Mind you, if you had just shown me these examples, I would not have identified them as the AOTC.
Begin with non-silent P? Yes. Of course.
Depressing or drepressing? No, not in general. Maybe in some specific circumstances.
Paranoia?
Paranoia? No. (I did actually think about making that the AOTC when setting this AVMA.)
Panic?
Panic? Yes! *throws the baton in Quendalon's general direction and runs away screaming*
Eeek! Er, I mean, yes! Of course! Success!

Our next selection is obscurely ANIMAL.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique? YES.
Human?
[Tuj] Possesses personhood? YES.
alive now?
Male?
[NJ] Among the living? YES.
[GL] Male? NO.
A member of the Morniverse?
Does she begin with a Queen?
[Tuj] Player of Mornington Crescent? UNLIKELY, but since I don't know your real names there's no way to be sure...
[CdM] Name prefaced with female monarchical title? NO.
European?
In the entertainment business?
A sportswoman?
[Q] The best answers are often the scrupulously accurate ones =)
Has she received an honour from the Queen?
Over thrity?
[CdM] From Europe? YES.
[NJ] In the business of providing entertainment? YES.
[Tuj] Famed athlete? NO.
[Raak] Received award from female monarch? NO.
A thespian?
[NJ] Dramaturge? NO.
Does she begin with P?
Also, you forgot to answer GL's question: is she over thrity? Enquiring midns wnat to konw.
[CdM] Do any words on the card begin with 'P'? NO.
[GL] Is this personage over thrity years old? YSE.
A singer?
[Tuj] Vocalist? NO.
Is she a broadcaster?
[Chalks] Casts broadly? NO.
OK. Does she begin with Q, then?
Is she a writer?
[CdM] Starts with 'Q'? NO.
[Chalks] Writes? YES. *applause*
Does she write for television?
Has she published a novel within the last year?
[nights] Writes for the telly? NO. (In the interests of full disclosure, she has done a bit of TV writing but is not known for it.)
[CdM] Novel with publication date after June 16, 2012? NO.
Has she published a novel within the last ten years?
Is she aged over fifty?
Is she married?
British?
[GL] Published a novel since 2003? YES.
[Chalko] Over fifty years old? YES.
[Phil] Wedded? YES.
[Tuj] Brit? YES.
Tanith Lee?
[GL] Tanith Lee? YES. *wild applause*

I guess that wasn't so obscure after all?

*tosses Gusset Login the baton through a gate of agate, a gate of blue steel and a terrible gate of black flame*
*googles Tanith Lee*
Well Guessed Guss!
I've only heard of Tanith Lee because my local sci-fi/fantasy book group are meant to be reading some of her stuff next month. The guess was meant to rule her out and confirm my own sanity... which clearly worked well.

Time for an ABSTRACT, I think
The letter P?
Anarcho-Syndicalism?
[Tuj] P...? No.
[Chalky] Anarcho-Syndicalism? No.
Human construct?
Fictional?
[CdM] Human construct? I'm going to say No.
[Tuj] Fictional? I've not seen evidence of it for a while but No, not fictional.
Connected with the natural world?
Related to perception?
[GL] Do you know which of Lee's books you'll be reading? Her 70s sci-fi/fantasy is excellent, but I gather her style shifted over time and I'm not sure what the more recent stuff is like. But if you're reading her Tales of the Flat Earth stories or The Birthgrave, you're in for a treat.
[Chalky] From nature? Unclear, much like the human construct thing. I'm saying Yes, with reservations
[Quendalon] Perception? Not closely related, but possibly yes.

[Quendalon] I'll find out on Saturday which one I get but the whole gammet of her work is being covered as far as I can tell.
One of the seven deadly sins?
[Chaky] A sin? No. *Laughter*
Generally considered to be pleasing?
[Quend] Positive? Yes.
Is it an emotion or feeling?
[Tuj] Emothing or feeling? Yes.
Is there more than one word on the card?
[Quendalon] Multi-word? No.
Does it begin with either P or Q?
[CdM] P... or Q...? No.
Related to attachment?
[cfm] Attachment? It can be but not always, depending on your definition of attachment.
Is it some form of familial bond?
[Dujon] Bond, Familial Bond? No.
Is it an '.. ism'?
[Chalky] ...ism? No.
Felt only by humans?
Does it end in "-ness"?
[Quendalon] Only human? I have seen it ascribed to other animals but who can tell? (Hence my earlier answers regarding human constructs and nature)
[Phil] ...ness? Not on the card but a reasonable synonym does.
Does it begin with a letter from the first half of the alphabet [incl M]?
Joy?
Empathy?
[Chakly] A-M...? Yes.
[Phil] Joy? No.
[cfm] Empathy? No.
Is it directed at someone or something outside oneself?
[Quendalon] Targetted? Yes.
Generosity?
Love?
[Chalky] Generosity? No. *Much applause*
[Phil] Love? No.
Does the word begin with a vowel?
[Chalky] A... E... or I...? No.
Does it end -ion?
[Tuj] ...ion? No.
Is it an '.. ity'?
[Chalky] ...ity? No.
The word on the card does have a fair number of acceptable synonyms, many of which would elicit different response to some recent questions. I'm not sure this is your best line of attack.

Summary/Clarification/Hints
This is a single word describing a felling or emotion directed by humans (and possibly other animals) towards something. Generally it is considered positive for at least one of the people involved.
It starts with a consonant between B and M (G) and doesn't end with 'ity', 'ion', 'ism' or 'ness'. Although synonyms ending with at least two of those option and beginning with completely different letters may be acceptable answers.
Is it a noun?
[Quend] Noun? Yes.
Can it be used as a name?
I think the fact we've dropped to this poor line of attack is no-one's had a good idea how to approach it!
Friendship?
Is it typically directed at a single person (in any given instance) or at multiple people at once?
[Tuj] Can it be used as a name? Not traditionally but I wouldn't put it past some people.
[Quendalon] Friendship? No.
[CdM] Directed at a single person? In the last year, I have directed it at individuals, couples, groups, inanimate objects and the results of blind chance.
Gratitude?
[cfm] Gratitude? Yes. Have mine and a baton.
[GL] Similar sentiments to you, dear. Let's try VEGETABLE AND MINERAL
Is it a geographical location?
Is the vegetable wood?
[NJ] Here or there? NO.
[GL] Wooden? NO.
Unique?
[Q] Unique? NO
Edible?
Is the mineral metal?
Is it a sandwich?
Would it normally be found in a sandwich?
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[Raak] Edible? YES
[CdM] Metallic? NO
[Tuj] Two slices plus? NO
[Q] Big as a loaf or two? NO
[GL] Sandwichable? NO
Wet?
Is the mineral salt?
Is it a foodstuff?
[Chalky] Watery? I think the best answer is YES, but in practice, it would be to varying degrees.
[Raak] Salty? The best answer to your question is NO, that is not the primary mineral ingredient. But I know of at least one instance where salt is involved.
[GL] Cuppa? NO, that is not the AOTC. But YES, tea may be involved.
[CdM] Foodstuff? NO. *audience interest increases*
Is it found in a typical Western home?
Is it generally considered valuable?
Is it medicinal?
[Q] Western staple? YES---though not as common as say, a carton of milk or a pair of scissors.
[GL] Pricey? NO.
[Chalky] Medicinal? I think the best answer is NO. *murmurs from the audience*
Is alcohol involved?
[Phil] Alcoholic? NO, the AOTC does not involve alcohol. But there is a peripheral connection.
[Chalky] By the same token, I guess that's true for your question, too.
Is the AOTC the name of a meal?
Is it always both vegetable and mineral, or is it sometimes just vegetable or just mineral?
[Chalky] Name that meal? NO.
[Q] One not both? YES. While the vast majority of the AOTC is both mineral and vegetable, sometimes the answer is just one of those things. *applause*
Begins with a P?
Hmm.
Is its primary function to be ingested?
Energy drinks?
Would it normally be consumed towards the end of a meal?
[Tuj] Having the usual? NO, not this time.
[Q] Primarily ingestible? NO.
[Chalky] Energy drink? NO.
[Phil] Finishing touch? NO.
Intended for topical application?
[Q] A dab here or there? YES. *generous applause from the audience*
suncream?
Lube?
How naughty!
[Chalky] SPF-something? NO.
[Q] Slippery stuff? NO. But I like the way you think. :-)
Moisturiser?
Condoms?
[Raak] Day or night cream? NO. *audience applauds nonetheless*
[Chalky] Barrier method? NO.
Cleanser?
[Chalky] Good clean fun? NO.
Lipsalve?
Toothpaste?
[Q] Good clean teeth? NO.
[Chalky] Lip salve? Well, not exactly -- hence my equivocating on the question of whether the thing was medicinal. The AOTC is actually the purely decorative (and much more fun) relative of lip salve --lip gloss-- but I think you are due the baton. Here, take this miniature one from my handbag! I hope Plum Passion is your shade.
for the win
[cfm] Mighty generous of you - in my mind lip balm, lip gloss and lip stick were also queuing for the limelight .. it was just a matter of timing.

Now - dare I unleash this ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections?
Fictional?
Animal = human?
a work of art?
A philosophy?
The bee's knees?
round up
[Gusset Login] Fictional? NO
[CdM] Animal = Human? YES
[NotJohn] Work Of Art? NO
[Phil] A philosophy? Erm .. NO
[Tuj] Knees of bees? NO
A human invention?
Associated with governance?
[Tuj] Human invention? YES
[Quendalon] Associated with governance? YES *audience stirs*
Surely it's anarcho-syndicalism then?
[Tuj] *fingers crossed*
[Tuj, Phil] Anarcho-syndicalism? Shurely NOT I'm afraid *audience murmuration*
Begins with a P?
Phew!
Related to the making of laws?
Associated with a specific individual?
A specific style of governance?
[Tuj] P? NO
[cfm] Related to law-making? YES
[CdM] Specific individual? YES
[nights] Specific style of governance? YES
Marxism?
[Gusset Login] Marxism? NO
Is the specific individual a politician?
Summat like democracy and all people being equal and all that sort of malarky?
[CdM] A politician? NO
[Dujon] Democracy equality malarky? NO
Named for the individal it's associated with?
[Quendalon] Named for the individual it's associated with? Am not clear what your "it's" is referencing (the AOTC?) - however I will respond with a cautious YES.
Does the individual's name appear as part of the AOTC?
[CdM] Name on AOTC? Not exactly .. *audience applauds question*
Is it Thatcherism?
Is the individual an ancient historic figure?
[nights] Thatcherism? NO
[cfm] Ancient historic figure? Could be.
Does the identity of the specific individual change over time?
That is, at any moment there is just one such individual, but it is not always the same person.
[CdM] Changing identity? YES *more applause*
A dictatorship?
Associated with a particular country?
Is there a religious connection in addition to the connection to governance?
[Phil] Dictatorship? NO
[Raak] Associated with a particular country? YES
[cfm] Also a religious connection? YES
Connected with Christianity?
A monarch?
Pope Francis?
[Quendalon] Christianity connection? Yes-ish
[Raak] A monarch? YES!!!! Yesyesyes!!!
[cfm] NO - not the Popey.
The King or Queen of England, Defender of the Faith
[Raak] The King or Queen of England, Defender of the Faith? Absolutely YES. That's the ANIMAL bit - now guess the ABSTRACT *audience senses a dénouement*
The British monarchy?
[Raak] The British monarchy certainly relates to the AOTC but you are travelling away from the solution. Most questions so far have centred on the Animal connection - the Abstract is yet to be resolved.
Order of Succession to the UK Throne?
Hair apparent?
[Phil] Order of Succession? NO
[GL] Hirsuteness? NO
The Supreme Governor of the Church of England?
Thought I'd answered this earlier ..
.. sorry to keep you. Now ..
[Raak] The Supreme Governor of the Church of England? If that's what she also is then I am bound to say YES.
However, that is not the AOTC. Having established some guesses back that Her Maj is the 'animal' perhaps some lateral thinking is required to find the 'abstract'.
In Her Majesty's case is this an event of some sixty years ago?
[Hi Dujon] An event? NO
.. can't reply if no-one asks :(
Am shortly away from the 'net until approx 2200 BST
Summary
We are looking for the name of a specific style of government. It was named after the current Queen of England and other people but only one at a time. It isn't Monarchy and doesn't begin with P.

Have I missed anything?
Divine Right?
Ends with -ism?
[Gusset Login] Thanks for your brave attempt at a summary ..
.. however - we are actually looking for an ABSTRACT which has the Queen of England as its ANIMAL connection ( and it still feels somewhat treasonable typing that ...)

As you were ;-)
continuum
NOT a style of government ... NOT a title. It certainly has the Queen of GB, Ireland, Dominions blah be blah etc. as its core but if you guessed a memorial ceramic plate with her face on it .. well that would be mineral obviously ... but you'd be closer than you have been thus far :-)
Elizabethanism?
It is I, Rosie.
[Tcb] Elizabethanism? NO.
My bad - didn't reply to [Raak] and [Quendalon] NO not divine right nor an -ism.
Is it a doctrine?
[Rosie] Thanks for joining in - but NO - it's not a doctrine or a philosophy etc.

Most of questions along these lines related purely to the Animal connection - very few have asked what type of Abstract this is. 'Is it a work of art' came the closest. For those that can be bothered I would suggest forget all that has gone before - concentrate on standard Abstract questioning ..
Coinage?
[gil] Coinage? NO - but *audience applauds this line of questioning*
The Divine Right of Kings?
Given that "to do with religion" was established.
[Phil] The Divine Right of Kings? Still NO. Religious connection was established to confirm the Animal, ie. Her Maj.
Having said that - one of the words in the AOTC is 'God'. < < < clue!
"Dieu et Mon Droit"?
straw-clutching
"God Save The King/Queen/Other"?
[Phil] Mon Dieu! Drat! NON
[Raak] God Save The King/Queen/Other? - that well-known phrase or saying [another standard Abstract question that wasn't asked] is about as close as it gets without being the AOTC
*audience cheering in desperation willing Raak, or anyone really, even a lurker, to make the leap .. *
Who are you, the Queen of England?
The National Anthem?
Is this an alternative title for the monarch?
Honi soit qui mal y pense?
[Phil] Pass us a straw, mate.
Allelulia Phil!
The Abstract is a SONG - the SONG is the AOTC which was 'The British National Anthem - God Save Our Gracious Queen' [who was the Animal connection all the way through]
Thank you Phil - here's a victorious, happy and glorious baton ...

Golly, thanks Chalky. Long did you reign over us with that one - chortle chortle!
Next up is

Mineral

Liquid?
Metal?
Commonly found in the household?
[Rosie] Liquid? NO
[CHalky] Metal? NO
[Quendalon] Household object? NO
Is it a mineral [ a naturally occurring inorganic solid etc] ?
[Chalky] A (well-defined) mineral? YES
Perovskite?
[Raak] Perovskite? NO
Clarification: I meant that it is composed of a mineral.
Man made?
[GL] Man made? Ummm, YES is the best answer, I believe as it would not be recognisable as what it is without mankind.
Asbestos?
Is it unique?
Does it naturally occur in nature?
[Raak] Asbestos? NO
[Quendalon] Unique? YES
[nights] Naturally in nature? Speaking strictly about the AOTC, NO.
Is it used as a building material?
Is the metal extracted from an ore (e.g. Aluminium from Bauxite)?
Does it move?
Is it a landmark?
[Rosie] Building material? The AOTC is not, but the substance of which it is composed is.
[Dujon] metal from an ore? NO
[Tuj] Does it move? NO
[GL] Landmark? NO
A cairn?
A wahoo from 60 yards.
Made from stone/rock?
Is it in Europe?
[Rosie] A cairn? NO
[Chalky] Made from stone/rock? YES. *some applause*
[Tuj] In Europe? YES
Made of diamond?
A natural geographical feature?
A mine?
[GL] Diamond? NO
[Rosie] Natural feature? NO
[Raak] Mine? NO
In the UK?
Smaller than a Range Rover?
[Tuj] In the UK? NO
[Chalky] Smaller than Range Rover? YES
A monument?
The Blarney Stone?
[Software] A monument? NO *audience stirs*
[Chalky] De Blarney Stone? NO
Begins with a P?
A statue?
[Tuj] P word? NO
[Chalky] A statue? YES *much applause*
In Italy?
[Software] In Italy? NO
The statue of liberty?
The one in France, obviously.
In Denmark?
[GL] Liberté? NON
[Chalky] .dk? NEJ
Is this a creation of Claude Michel?
[Dujon] Claude Michel? who? NO
This statue - a female human?
[Chalky] Female human statue? YES *Applause*
Venus de Milo?
[Chalky] VdM (any relation to CdM, I've often wondered?) - YES.
Congratulations, may I pass on this severed-arm-shaped baton to you.
*curtseys*
Thanks Phil. Not sure why I chased that one - given my absence from the internets, therefore this game, for the next week. I guess I enjoyed it :)

* tosses severed-arm-shaped baton into the air hoping someone will catch it before it lands and shatters into a thousand pieces*
*reaches for the baton, but not too aggressively on account of having held it twice recently*
Shall I grab it? Oh, all right then.
It is Abstract with Animal and Mineral connections.
Animals human?
Begins with a P?
*jumps*
The title of some work?
[Rosie] Human? Mostly, I would say
[Tuj] Pish? No P anywhere
[cfm] Title of some work? Googling actually says YES, not sure that it is helpful though.
A human invention?
Do the humans have a common purpose?
Is a horse likely to be associated with this person?
Supernatural?
[Tuj] Homogeneous? NO
[Rosie] Common purpose? Mmmm, maybe but largely NO
[Duj] Horsey? Perhaps figuratively but mainly NO
[Quen] Eerie? NO
A well knwon phrase or saying?
Is the mineral aspect metal?
[GL] Adage? YESish
[Phil] Metalic? NO not exclusively.
Whoops!
I must also rap my own wrist for just noticing that I omitted Vegetable from the definition.
Is the vegetable element wood?
Does the abstract result from human activity? (eg urbanisation)
Are any of the aspects a geographical location?
*taking an interest ..*
Wow - a whole week away and not a lot has happened.
So we have an Abstract with Animal Vegetable Mineral connections and have ascertained that it's a sort of well-known phrase or saying?
Is it a place?
[Phil] Wood? NO not exclusively
[Rosie] Global Warming? Mmmm, interesting but probably NO
[GL] Geographic? NO non specific but much rarer in some locations
[Chalky] Place? NO specific location.
A naturally occurring phenomenon?
A mental process?
[Chalks] Natural? YES
[cfm] Think? NO
Is agriculture part of this?
rm? in a way YES
A weather condition?
[Chalks] Meteo? YES
Raining cats and dogs?
Datsun cogs, old ladies and sticks etc.
[Rosie] Precipitation? - NO but chuckles and random clapping from audience
Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey?
[Phil] Chilly NO * audience chuckles and talks among themselves and some spontaneous clapping *
Something to do with climate change?
[Duj] Global warming? - NO * chattering and sporadic clapping in audience *
A Weather Forecast?
[Phil] Wet seaweed? - NO * audience murmuring and sporadic clapping *
Is the weather condition adverse?
[Rosie] Adverse? - YES. * audience getting excited *
The Shipping Forecast?
Does H2O (or lack of same) feature?
[Chalks] Forth, Tyne etc? NO
[Duj] Wet n'dry? - YES! * audience getting excited *
The Biblical Flood?
Would Rosie's last comment be the antithesis of the AOTC?
Does the AOTC take the format, "X as a Y"?
Does the AOTC relate to measuring weather?
[Rosie] Noah? - NO
[Duj] Oposite? - in a way but probably NO< br> [Quen] Logic? - NO but close
[Chalks] Meteo? - NO
Clue time: 4 words 2 the same relating to weather.
As right as rain?
[Chalks] Wet, wet , wet? - NO * gasps of anticipation and clapping from audience *
As dry as dust?
Are the two identical words "the"?
Hot as hell?
[Raak] Dusty - NO
[Rosie] Definite article?NO
[cfm] Bong! Right on the money!

As hot as hell is on the card. Well it felt that way when I kicked this one off! I hand over the iced baton to cfm.

Now that's a surprise. I was pretty much lost during all of that that round.
Well then, let's try ANIMAL WITH ANIMAL AND ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS
Is the primary animal human?
[Chalky] I suppose that I should have asked "Does it have any supernatural associations?" rather than the vaguer "Supernatural?"
[Q] Human first and foremost? YES.
Richard the Lionheart?
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
I'll behave next time ;)
Is the secondary animal canine?
Begins with P?
Me And You And A Dog Named Boo - Lobo?
[Quendalon] *confused face*?
[GL] Dickheart? NO
[Dujon] The end of the world as we know it? NO
[CdM] Woof? YES *audience is too awed to applaud*
[Tuj] Having the usual, I see? NO
[Chalky] That 70s sound? NO
Is the canine a specific, identified dog?
[CdM] Name that dog? After a bit of research (and also technically speaking), NO. But YES would not have been a bad answer. :-)
One man and his dog?
(Went to mow a meadow.)
Would Julius Caesar be pertinent to the AOTC?
Anubis?
[Chalky] Oops! That should have been aimed at Software.
fictional?
[GL] One plus one? NO
[Dujon] Roman rule? NO--at least not as far as I know or could identify from a Wikipedia search.
[Q] I want my mummy? NO
[Chalky] Storytime? NO
Is the human a specific, identified person?
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
[CdM] Can I see some ID, please? YES
[Chalky] "It's like they say..."? NO
Is this person alive?
[Tuj] Still among us? YES
Showbiz connection?
[Software] You oughtta be in pictures? YES, but I fear this may lead you astray. *nods among the audience*
Famous for doing something rather than who he/she is?
[GL] Real life action hero? YES.
Human=male?
[Chalky] Dude? YES
Has this man been depicted in film(s) but not appeared there?
[Dujon] I don't have sufficient knowledge answer your question. But I will answer another. YES, this man has appeared in films.
The abstract connection? Is that the 'films' bit? Documentaries?
I don't think I have sufficient knowledge of man with dog appearing in films .. so may withdraw my participation. Hope others demonstrate a little more curiosity ...
[Chalky] That's a big [YES] Don't drop out. :-( You've made an important connection!
Steve Irwin?
[Software] Mass market wildlife expert? NO
Hint: It might help to probe a little more on the abstract connection...
One Man And His Dog?
[Raak] Sheepdog drama? NO But one man and his dogs? YES :-)
Actaeon, torn apart by his own hounds?
[Raak] Bloody mess? NO. Was there a film about that? :-)
Are these multiple dogs all presented as if they were the same fictional dog (e.g. like when Lassie was periodically re-cast)
Has Timmy fallen down the well, again?
Is this USA-centric?
[Projoy, GL] Lass-a-likes? NO
[Chalky] Red, white and blue? YES and NO. The human is American. The dogs, I believe, are ethnically German.
Is he an explorer?
Are the dogs Dalmatians?
[cfm] Film? I don't know, but I'd watch it if there was.
Christopher Plummer and the Hounds of Munich?
I am completely stumped!
[Chalky] Explorer? NO, not unless you are speaking metaphorically.
[Raak] Spot the AOTC? NO *audience applauds enthusiastically at this line of questioning*
[Phil] Von Trapped? NO. (hint: the human is not an actor, although he has appeared on TV and in film.)
Is there a succession of dogs, rather than a number of dogs at one time?
If that makes sense. I'm remembering when I chose the MGM lion and discovered there had been (I think) four of them.
[CdM] YES and NO. There was at least one well-known succession but there have also been multiple simultaneous dogs. (Is it just me, or does that sound kinda dirty?)
Are the dogs Alsations/German Shepherds?
Just for my own clarification purposes.
Is the abstract connection musical?
[Dujon] A/GSs? NO *audience still approves of this line of questioning*
(Also, it's just you.)
[CdM] Rhythm and rhyme and harmony? NO *audience applauds nonetheless*
cartoon/cgi dachshunds?
Clearly I haven't the foggiest what this is .. don't know why I'm bothering.
Or even dancing dogs?
Is the abstract connection artistic?
You did say we should pursue it...
Turner and Hooch?
[Chalky] Dancing cartoon dachshunds? NO *audience claps encouragingly*
[CdM] But is it art? YES *loud cheering*
[Phil] Tom Hanks? NO The AOTC only has a tangential connection to show biz.

To summarize, we are talking about a contemporary American artist (male) working with multiple dogs of a German breed that is not the shepherd or Dachsund. He has appeared on at least two famous American TV shows and in his own films. I will add that those appearances may not be the only connection to film. And I will apologize for choosing what appears to be an extremely obscure AOTC. My guess, however, is that many of you would recognize this man's (iconic, really) work, which is held in the permanent collections of major museums including the the Museum of Modern Art in New York and the Smithsonian. A quick scan of his biography informs me that his work has also been exhibited in London, Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, Munich, Seoul and Singapore.
Pinschers?
[Projoy] Police pup? NO
And I think it's time I put an end to the misery of this round. Sorry I picked such tough one. The furry baton goes to the first person who grabs it. And for those who are interested, the AOTC is revealed here.
It's good to learn new stuff
[cfm] I feel sure the AOTC would have been solved at some point. We are also missing some of our more, shall we say - forensic? gameplayers.
Chalky I'll take the fresh baton, thanks. I did give up a turn a few weeks back.
And now for a puzzler that everyone will have heard of .. A N I M A L
Human?
[cfm] You are too hard on yourself! I had certainly heard of the AOTC and know the photographs. I think I ended up getting stuck on the film angle, even though you did warn us that it might be a red herring.
An individual, unique animal?
[cfm] I'd never heard of him, but one man's obvious being another man's obscure is part of the fun of life.
[Phil] An individual, unique animal? NO
*points quietly at CdM's question*
[CdM] Human? NO
A pet?
Alive?
[Dujon] A Pet? NO
[CdM] Alive? YES
Found in UK?
A mammal?
[Softers] In UK ? YES
[CFM] Mammal? NO
An arachnid?
An insect?
A duck?
[Dujon] Arachnid? Technically NO .. *applause*
[Rosie] ... Insect? YES *enthusiastic applause*
[Sir Bedevere] Duck? NO
Can it sting?
Does one generally enounter them as a swarm or infestation -- as opposed to a lone bug?
[Rosie] Sting? Not 'sting' exactly ...
[cfm] Swarm or infestation? YES *audience getting excited*
*chances it* Mosquitos?
Midges?
Does it belong to the order of Hymenoptera?
Please ignore that, Chalky. From personal experience I know only too well that some of them can indeed sting.
[cfm] Mosquitos? NO
[Rosie] Midges? NO
*ignores Dujon's question*
Locusts?
Do they fly?
ladybirds?
[Raak] Locusts? NO
[CdM] Do they fly? NO
[Softers] Ladybirds? NO
This can be solved within 20 questions if you look back to where the audience got a bit excited ...
Ants?
They're made of Formica.
[Rosie] Formica Ants? NO
Do they attack vegetation?
Fleas?
Is this a common parasite found on humans?
[Rosie] Attackers of veg? NO
[cfm] fleas? NO
[Dujon] Common parasite found on humans? YES - three quarters of your question is correct, the other quarter half correct! *audience senses a result*
Lice?
As soon as I typed the word I started scratching...
Bed bugs?
Tapeworms?
Being in humans rather than on them.
[CdM] Lice? NO
[Raak] Tapeworms? NO

But Software has it on the 21st question - the AOTC being Bed bugs.
*gingerly hands over an insecticide-sprayed baton*
Well I'm Blowed!
* Carefully accepts baton from Chalky wearing surgical gloves *

Twice in quick succession. Well, well!

Now what do we have here? Another ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

* Scantily clad girl parades the answer card in front of the audience *

Pornography?
[Phil] *laughs*
A human idea or concept?
A fictional place?
Unique?
[Phil] DIY passtime? - NO
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
[GL] Fairy story? - NO
[Duj] Only one? - depends on pedantic interpretation but generally NO
Humans with a common purpose?
[Rosie] Mass conciseness? - NO (although may be disputed when the AOTC is revealed, perhaps)
Are there animal connections other than human?
Is this an idea, political or social, say?
[cfm] Bestial - NO (although some may dispute this)
[Rosie] Conceptual? - YES
Anarcho-syndicalism?
[GL] Direct Action - NO (I had to look that up so no chance of it being the AOTC!)
Anything to do with economics?
Does it begin with P?
Is it a sandwich?
[Rosie] Money, money money? - NO * a few claps from the audience and some chattering *
[CdM] P-ish - NO
[Chalks] Cheese and tomato on brown? - NO
Virgin Trains?
[Rosie] West coast delays? - NO I suppose they could be described as abstract * chuckles from audience *
Is this a symbol of something (e.g. a coat of arms or a flag)?
[Duj] Symbolic? - NO
Is it a place?
A whole week and very little interest in this one ..
Is it a well-known phrase or saying?
Is it connected to the arts?
Multi-Chalks: Place? - NO; Saw? - NO * stiring in audience * ; Arty-farty? - NO (only indirectly but that could be misleading)
A political theory?
[Rosie]Dogma? - NO
A personal philosophy or way of living?
[cfm] karma? - NO
Something to do with language?
[cfm] Chatter? - NO
Conneted to religion?
[GL] Belief? - NO
A scientific theory or hypethesis?
[Rosie] Good science? - NO
Is this a physical 'thing'?
[Duj] Physical? - NO this is an abstract concept that like many such has a physical side effect but the AOTC (3 words by the way) will make this clear
Bored to death?
Anything to do with fear?
[Chalks] Ennui? - NO maybe the participants are becoming that
[Rosie] Scary? - NO
Is this a relatively modern idea?
[Rosie] Newish? - YES end of 19 Century apparently
Anything to do with health matters?
Modern? Newish? End of 19th Century - that's 18 hundred and something! Did you just say YES so that it doesn't look as though everyone except Rosie has had a NO for the last fortnight? :-)
Anything to do with Trade Unionism?
(Chalky) 1899 is only yesterday. My Dad was alive.
[Chalks] Healthy? - NO not directly anyway- recent well not BC is it?
[Rosie] All out? - NO * some stirring in the audience *
Modern Olympic Games?
Health and Safety?
Is this a form of revolution?
[Chalks] 5 rings - NO
[Rosie] H&S Gestapo? - NO
[Duj] Uprising? - NO you are all drifting away from ABSTRACT.

CLUE: there is more than one of these

Is it a Lifestyle Choice?
Softers - please can you do a summary to say what it's NOT. Ta :-)
[Chalks] My way? - NO anyone can do it, most do.

SUMMARY - Concentrate on the ABSTRACT. It is not: a fairy story, a life choice, a saying, a game, a passtime, scientific, religious or other social theory, nothing to do with language, politics philosophy or art. ANIMAL connection is strong the others less so. Good luck, it ain't that hard!

Is it culture-specific?
[CdM] Foible? - YES - well to qualify, the AOTC is AFIK but the principle isn't
Associated primarily with the UK?
[CdM] Blighty? - YES, primarily, the AOTC is anyway.
Is it an activity, i.e. something that one does?
[Phil] Out and about? - YES and NO, perhaps is the best answer.
Is the AOTC a present participle?
as "yes and no" isn't a very useful answer :)
[Phil] Grammatical? NO The AOTC has 3 words none of which are the definite or indefinite article. Hint: When the question was set it was in the future, now it is in the past.
Does the AOTC define/describe a period of time?
The August Bank Holiday Weekend?
[Phil] Time slot? - YES
[GL] August Bank Holiday - YES!

Hurrah! * hands over Brighton rock shaped sticky baton to GL at last *

Well, that took a pointlessly long time. So, a simple ANIMAL this time.
Is it human?
[Software] were the mineral and vegetable connections the bank?
[Phil] - Human? YES have a baton. (I said it was easy)
Hahaha! Why thank you, GL!
OK, so the next one is

ANIMAL & VEGETABLE

Is the vegetable wood?
Food or drink?
[GL] Wood? NO
[Raak] Food/Drink? YES *Some early applause*
A falling out between you and Rosie?
[Dujon] Me and the old geezer coming to blows? NO!
Hidden textI'd love to know who's the vegetable...actually, maybe I wouldn't :-)
Meat and two veg?
Is it a sandwich?
[Raak] Meat+2Veg? NO
[Chalky] Sarnie? NO
Pork scratchings?
Does it need to be cooked?
[Software] Scratchings? NO
[Rosie] Need to be cooked? NO (although a perverse minuscule part of me wants to say YES)
Is the vegetable to be found in a greengrocer's?
I decline to answer your previous question (hidden) on the ground that ... ;)
[Dujon] Greengrocer's vegetable? NO
Is it an animal product?
Is the animal fish?
[Chalky] Animal product? YES *a little applause*
[GL] Fish? NO
A traditional British sausage (50% breadcrumbs)?
Is dairy produce involved?
[Raak] A banger? NO
[GL] Dairy involved? YES *some more applause*
A pizza?
Does the AOTC include a reference to a U.K. country?
Is cheese the animal element?
[Rosie] Pizza? NO
[Dujon] UK reference? NO
[Chalky] and cheesey? NO
Is it sweet rather than savoury?
[CdM] Sweet? The AOTC is not sweet.
Is yoghurt involved?
[GL] Yoghurt? NO
Is the vegetable element made from grain?
[cfm] Grain? NO
Milk?
[Software] Milk? YES, milk is involved *applause*
Are cookies also involved?
[Raak] Cookie? NO
Is it in anyway responsible for bringing boys to the yard?
[GL/Kelis] Your milkshake? NO
Ambrosia Creamed Rice?
[Chalky] Devon knows how they make it so creamy? NO
Is it casein?
[Software] Casein? NO
A comment
Rosie's question "Does it need to be cooked?" continues to weigh on my mind. No Anglophone would say that they cook the Answer on the Card, but cooking of some sort or other is involved in the process of turning naturally occurring ingredients into the AOTC.
Is it a salad of some sort?
Weirdly enough .. the cooking thing .. was the one reply which has completely thrown my train of thought ...
A biscuit of some kind?
[Chalky] Salady? NO
[Rosie] Biscuity? NO
Butter?
Custard?
[Chalky] Butter? NO
[GL] Custard? NO
OH NO !!!!!
I've just reviewed my answers and noticed that when Chalky asked "Is it an animal product", I said "YES". I should specify that only the animal part is an animal product, the vegetable part isn't. Hope that helps ! :-)
PANIC OVER!!!
[Phil] Fret ye not - that's what I meant.
In summary: The AOTC is 'Animal Product' plus a 'Vegetable' (but not a vegetable to be found in a greengrocer) somehow linked together. Edible/Potable. Doesn't need to be cooked. Milk is involved.
I'll now ask a question, if I may ...
Is there an alcoholic content to this?
[Chalky] Alcoholic? NO
A bit more summary
One would not "cook" the AOTC but some form of "cooking" is involved at some point in creating the AOTC from naturally occurring ingredients.
Is yeast involved?
[Phil] Thanks - I was thinking fermentation - hence the alcohol question.
[Chalky] Yeast? NO
Sour cream and chive flavoured crisps?
A hint...
A follow-up to the 2nd question asked (Rosie's first) would be useful.
Drink?
[Chalky] Drink? YES *relieved applause*
A skinny latte or somesuchlike?
[Chalky] A latte? CORRECT. Congratulations! Now does my dithering over "cooked" make sense? Anyway, have this tax-avoiding baton...
Thanks Phil - we managed to sort that one out between ourselves :)
*raises a tasse of full fatte latte*

Staying with the Keep It Simple agenda - here's a lively little A N I M A L
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES
Is/was this person short in stature?
[Dujon] Is/was this person short in stature? YES
Napoleon?
[Software] Napoleon? NO
Is this person alive?
[Software] Napoleon wasn't short, apparently, he was just portrayed as short for propaganda purposes. A bit of googling, and my suspicions are confirmed. He was about 5'7" (1.70m), over 2 inches taller than average for France at the time, and just about exactly average for the UK. Reference here
[Phil] Is this person alive? YES
re. Boney - grossly misrepresented ... poor sod.
An entertainer?
Does this person have a name consisting of two identical syllables?
[Rosie] An entertainer? NO
[Dujon] A name consisting of two identical syllables? NO
Nicolas Sarkozy?
keeping with the French theme ...
There's a French theme..???
[Software] Nicolas Sarkozy? NON
Sandy Toksvig?
(Appolgies for the spelling I don't have time to check it.)
[GL] Sandy Toksvig? NO
John Bercow?
[Rosie] John Bercow? NO

This is supposed to be a nice easy quick one - random guesses of allegedly vertically-challenged individuals will lead nowhere .. and I'm already bored
Male?
British?
Under 35?
3 yesses!
[Rosie] Male? YES
[Software] British? YES
[Gusset Login] Under 35? YES
Is he a 'child prodigy'?
[Dujon] Child prodigy? Not exactly a prodigy ..*huge cheer from audience*
George, prince of cambridge?
YES - the very chap! HRH George, Prince of Cambridge.
*Hands silver-spoon shaped baton to Gusset Login*
Thank you. I guess he is a little short for a stormtrooper.

OK. This one is a MINERAL with possible abstract and animal connections.
Is this a unique object?
Metallic?
Manufactured?
[Phil] Unique? YES
[Software] Metal? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? Um... it is man-made, if that's what you mean, but not mass produced, obviously.
A monument or statue?
[Software] Monument or Statue? YES. *Applause*
In England?
[Rosie] England? NO.
A well known male sans fig leaf?
[Dujon] A well known male without a fig leaf? As written, the answer has to be 'partly'. As intended, the answer would be very much NO. Take your pick.
Rodin's The Thinker?
[Software] The thinker? NO.

To clarify my answer to Dujon, the AOTC involves the image of a man who is not wearing a fig leaf but does not involve naked men in any way that I know of.
Is it a statue of just one person?
A political figure?
In Europe?
[Phil] A statue of just one person? The statue part of it is of one person.
[Rosie] A political figure? YES.
[Software] In Europe? NO.
In America?
[Gravy] 'Mer'ca? Yes
The Lincoln Monument?
Does the word Washington appear on the card?
[Dujon] Does Washington feature? NO
[Phil] Lincoln Monument/Memorial? YES. Have a baton purchased from the John Wilkes booth.
I have to give credit to the film "Night at the Museum 2" for raising my awareness of the Lincoln Monument, and more recently the 50th anniversary of the "I have a dream" speech, without which I would never have guessed that.
Anyway, onwards and upwards....our next AVMA is

Abstract with Animal

Is it a sandwich?
[Chalky] A sandwich? Alas, NO
Phrase or saying?
[Software] Phrase or saying? NO
One of the Seven Deadly Sins?
... or all of them?
[Chalky] A sin or seven? NO
A fictional person?
Grand Theft Auto V?
[GL] A fictional person? On this occasion I'll be generous and allow you the two questions in one - YES and NO
[Chalky] GTA V? NO
A fictional animal?
[Chalky] Fictional animal? YES *some applause*
A mermaid?
skippy?
A named individual fictional animal?
[Software] Mermaid? NO
[GL] Skippy? NO
[Raak] Named individual fictional animal? YES *a little more applause*
Created by A.A.Milne?
Has this named fictional animal appeared in more than one of the following media: book, film, TV, radio, grand opera?
[Dujon] A.A.Milne? NO
[CdM] In more than one of: book. film, TV, radio, grand opera? YES
A Disney character?
[Lovely Gravy] Disney? NO
Human?
Nobody has checked this yet.
Dog?
[Software] Actually, I did.
Was the creator male?
[Software] Human? NO (yes to fictional animal, no to fictional person, hence not a person. You are correct that nobody asked that question directly though)
[GL] Dog? YES *more applause*
[Dujon] Male creator? YES
Any connection with the Simpsons?
[Lovely G] Connection with the Simpsons? YES, but not an important connection, IMHO.
Greyfriar's Bobby?
Did this character first appear in print?
Did they first appear on TV?
[Software] Greyfriar's Bobby? NO
[Dujon] First appearance in print? YES
[GL] First appearance on TV? NO (see above)
Lassie?
[Ye Olde Softeware] Lassie? NO
Was s/he introduced in a childrens' story?
[Dujon] In a children's story? NO
Astonised of Berkshire
Ooops, not sure what happened there, but I thought I'd add a summary, just to help out, as I thought this would be simple. Not that there's much to summarize.
This is a fictional dog; created by a man; has appeared in multiple media (from the list: book, film, tv, radio, Grand Opera), but first appeared in print; has a slight link to The Simpsons (which is unlikely to be useful).
The AOTC was not created by A.A.Milne; is not a Disney character; is neither Greyfriars Bobby nor Lassie; was not introduced in a children's story.
The hound of the baskervilles?
[GL] HotB? NO
Toto
[Chalky] Toto? NONO
Created by Homer?
[Dujon] A Homeric character? NO
A clue
An assumption appears to have been made.
Is it a cartoon dog?
.. such as Scooby Doo?
[Chalky] A cartoon dog? YES *Much applause*
[Ibid.] Scooby Doo? NO *oohs, aahs and groans of disappointment*
Snoopy?
and the Red Baron
[Software] Snoopy? YES!
My childhood hero. I still drink out of a Snoopy mug at work, which even has a Snoopy stand to sit on. Such is my fondness for the special beagle, that when I tried this AVMA on family members, and as soon as I said "fictional dog", they guessed it. The assumption, of course, was that "print" referred to books. Also, The Simpsons makes several nods in the direction of Peanuts and Snoopy - e.g. "Hungry, Hungry Homer" which was on C4 last week finds Homer asleep on top of the kennel, and Bart says "Good grief!" more here.
Here, Software, take this flying helmet, goggles and scarf set - may it serve you well!
Well, well. I'm getting too good at this.
Can I think of something that won't cause as much trouble as last time?

Let's try this, then:

MINERAL with ANIMAL and Vegetable connections.

Sorry Software - too complicated - only kidding.
But whilst we're about it, PLEASE answer the questions in a straightforward manner ... takes bloody ages to work out what you're trying to reply to usually! ;-)
:o(
Sorry, sorry, sorry ...
A building?
Margarine?
A planet?
Man-made?
[Raak] A building? - NO (not as such)
[Phil] Margarine? - NO can tell talk from mutter
[GL] A planet - NO * some discussion and shuffling among the andience *
[Rosie] Man made? - YES
A satellite?
An international project?
[Phil] Satellite? - YES
[Duj] International? - YES
The ISS?
[Raak} ISS? - YES!

Please accept this SpaceX shaped baton

The next is, nowdays, mostly MINERAL.
man made?
Yes, man made
Is it something that was previously made from wood?
Ex-wood? No.
Concrete?
[Software] *amusement in the audience* Not concrete.
Made of plastic?
< Toaster < ?
[Rosie] Not really made of plastic, as ordinary people use the word, but an industrial chemist might disagree.
[Software} Bigger than a toaster.
Does it have moving parts?
[LG] *more amusement* It certainly does.
Is it elastic?
Something to support or suspend a human?
[Phil] Not elastic.
[Dujon] Yes! It supports or suspends a human. That might give slightly the wrong idea, but it definitely does that.
Might this be found in a fairground?
[LG] Not in a fairground.
Float on water?
[Software] About as well as a dog walks on its hind legs.
Is it primarily a form of transportation?
Some form of seating?
[LG] *applause* It is a form of transportation.
[Rosie] Not a form of seating.
Is it a form of footwear?
[Phil] Not footwear.
Does it have two wheels?
Swing bridge?
[LG] Does not have two wheels.
[Software] Not a swing bridge.
Is it "traditional" such as a rickshaw?
[Rosie] Not traditional.
Does it have wheels?
[Phil] No wheels at all.
Is the 'transportation' generally vertical?
[Dujon] Exclusively vertical, as in a lift? No.
Bobsleigh?
[GL] Not a bobsleigh.
Does on stand on it?
Might this be found at an airport?
[Phil] Interpreting the preposition strictly, one does not stand on this.
[LG] Not primarily found at airports.
Hang glider?
Is it a form of airborne transport?
[GL] Not a hang glider.
[Phil] *applause* Yes! A form of airborne transport.
Parachute?
Is heated air an important part of its propulsion?
[GL] Not a parachute.
[Dujon] *cheering* Yes! Heated air! Therefore it is...?
a political campain?
A hot-air balloon?
(GL) I can see your point, but it's Mineral. :-)
[GL] Not a political campaign.
[Rosie] A hot air balloon! Hold this mooring cable for a moment, will you? Oops...don't let go!
Oh shoot!
I was thinking hot-air balloon when I asked my last question, but didn't want to make the leap of faith. Congrats, Rosie.
Moving parts? Where exactly?
Also, did not get the 'dog on hind legs' reference to its ability to float on water. Surely an inflated balloon would float very well.
[LG] The whole thing moves! The gondola wouldn't float very well, and once the water puts the fire out, neither will the balloon.
Yay! Let's hear it for Charles' Law.

OK, this next one is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS

Are the animal connections of a human nature?
(Phil) Human? Just about, i.e. YES
Phrase or saying?
(Softers) Not a phrase or saying.
Is the abstract a human behaviour?
(Duj) Not a human beviour.
Is there a connection to football?
Or is there a connection to the Tory Party?
Is it an institution or organisation type thing?
(CdM) It would take a conspiracy theorist of a high order to connect this with either of your suggestions.
(Phil) Strictly no, but possibly in a figurative sense.
Fictional?
Is there a misical connection?
Sorry, musical
(LG) Essentially no musical connection.
Fictional human(ish)?
(Softers) No. Real humans.
Is it a system of government?
(GL) Not a form of government. *slight amusement in the audience*
If not strictly an organisation, is it an informal collective of individuals?
(LG) Rather the opposite of informal.
OK then, a formal collective of individuals?
(Phil) Not a collective.
A different tack is needed.
Related to media?
(cfm) Media-related? YES.
A business cabal of some kind?
(Dujon) Not a business cabal.
Related to the news?
(GL) Not connected with the news.
Related to entertainment?
A spin doctor?
(cfm) Related to entertainment? YES.
(Softers) Spin doctors? The very last thing need by the AOTC. So, er, NO.
Are sattelites involved?
(Dujon) No satellites, natural or otherwise.
Related to prestidigitation?
Specifically related to television?
(Softers) No sleight of hand involved.
(cfm) Telly? YES. *applause*
An announcer?
(Softers) No, not an announcer, not even the mellifluous Charlotte Green. :-(
"Reality" television?
(cfm) Not "reality" television.
Is it the name of a TV programme?
(Lovely Gravy) The name of a TV programme? YES. *audience animation*
Surely not Paxman?
(Software) Paxman? He is certainly involved.
University Challenge?
(CdM) Morniverse - JOHN! Of course it is. Well done. I hand you the furry animal. And it's goodnightfrommegoodnight.
Yes, well, that wasn't quite a lurker's victory, since I did ask questions earlier on, but I clearly stood on the shoulders of slightly-taller-than-average people, there.

This isVEGETABLE with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
A leek?
Edible?
Leek? No.
Edible? No.
The True Cross?
Paxman?
True Cross? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Paxman? No.
An artefact?
Is it a cauliflower with aspirations to become a moose?
Is it made of wood?
Artifact? No.
Upwardly-mobile cauliflower? No.
Wooden? Yes.
Is the abstract a religious matter?
Abstract = religious? Yes. *applause*
Is the religion Christianity?
A crucifix?
Christianity? No.
Crucifix? No.
Native American?
Native American? No.
In a round about way could the animal portion involve bats?
Bats? Er. As far as I know it would have to be very roundabout.
Used in the course of prayer?
The use-mention distinction
Used in prayer? No (though I am not sure if it is ever mentioned in the course of prayer; I suppose it might be).
Is the animal connection human?
Just to prevent misplaced assumptions
Is the religion Roman Catholic?
Roman Catholic? No. (We already knew it is not Christianity)
Is it made in the form of the animal connection?
Oops, missed Phil's question.
Animal connection = human? The main animal connection is human, yes. (There are also many other less direct animal connections, both human and nonhuman.)
Made in the form of the animal connection? No.
Would this be most likely to have been constructed in Russia?
Could this be lifted by a person of average proportions?
Sorry, missed the Christianity bit.
Constructed in Russia? No.
Liftable? No.
Does it relate to a specific religion?
Specific religion? Yes.
Is the religion Buddhism?
Let's home in a bit
Buddhism? Yes. *applause*
A temple?
The Bodhi Tree?
Is it carved?
Getting right to the point
The Bodhi tree? Yes! *takes chainsaw, fells tree, and fashions baton for Chalky*
Oooops
A genuine Lurker's Victory - thanks to all who set up my re-entry to this game.

A N I M A L
Dame Shirley Williams?
[Gusset Login] Dame Shirley Williams? Inspired - but NO.
Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then?
Sorry for not taking this too seriously at the moment. Things will improve.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Well, Dame Shirley bleed'n Porter, then? Eff'n NO.
[Basics] Is the animal human? YES
Is the human alive?
[Phil] Is the human alive? YES
Is this a female?
A politician?
Is this person's native language English?
.. thought I'd replied already
And again ..
[LG] Female? Might be.
[Rosie] Politician? Might be.
[CdM] Native language English? Might be.
Is this one specific person?
Is it a group of people with a common goal (e.g. a choir or a football team)?
[Phil] One specific person? Most likely - so YES.
[Dujon] Group of people? Most unlikely - so NO.
Culture specific?
[CdM] Culture specific? Not sure what you mean - culture is a big word. I'd say NO.
A particular role or post?
[Software] Particular role/post? This person certainly has a role/part to play so a tentative Yes.
At the moment you are reading this, is the AOTC a single identifiable individual?
[CdM] Single identifiable individual? Well spotted - NO.
.. but I still think the additional word ABSTRACT would have been misleading. You may disagree .. :)
Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC?
Sorry - been out and about and away from t'interwebs ...
[Phil] Does the person who represents the AOTC know that they are the AOTC? Not a scooby doo - NO
Is the person a creation of one's imagination?
Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us?
[Rosie] Is the person a creation of ones imagination? NO
[CdM] Is the AOTC a different person for each one of us? NO
An actor?
Does this person perform a service?
[Software] An actor? Unlikely but can't say for sure.
[Rosie] Perform a service? Insomuch as they are the subject of this puzzle - I have to say yes.
Have you met someone who is an AOTC?
[CdM] Have I met someone who is an AOTC? This particular someone is the only one who *could* be the AOTC. Whether or not I've met them already is irrelevant.
Will the AOTC be selected at birth?
[GL] Will the AOTC be selected at birth? NO .. what an odd question!
Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC?
If so, it's Not Fair.
[Rosie] Is the AOTC the person who is the AOTC? NO - but I like your thinking! *Audience senses a breakthrough*
CdM?*
*(being the winner of this round)
I think that counts as a win, Monsieur C de M.
The actual Words On The Card are The Person Who Guesses That They Are The Winner Of This Round.
I toyed with the notion of adding ABSTRACT to the description but really couldn't be bothered with the standard questioning that might've come my way ;-)

Besides - you ARE a real person, aren't you?

*baton fashions itself into CdM-shape and flies to Daddy*
Interestingly, though Rosie's answer was not the answer on the card, it was a correct answer.
ANIMAL
Indeed it was.
Human?
[Chalky] Congrats on your delightfully bewildering round - that was fun!
Dame Shirley Williams?
Human?
(CdM) I'm flattered, despite the logical impasse. Not to worry - all statements made by ethnic-Welsh Londoners are false anyway.
Human? Yes. *some audience murmuring, which abates when they read the footnotes on the card*
Shirley Williams? No.
Human? Yes. *no murmuring, because the audience members have read the footnotes on the card*
Human with footnotes?
An armless pianist?
Human with footnotes? Yes. Your point? (OK. I think the most useful answer is yes. But it is possible to claim that a simple Yes is misleading.)
Handicapped pianist? No.
Is this a named human?
Is this more than one human?
Is this less than one human?
Good questions
Named human? No.
More than one human? The AOTC is not more than one human. *smattering of applause, nonetheless*
Less than one human? Yes. *some applause, and some discussion among the more pedantic audience members*
A severed head?
Severed head? No.
A diminutive human?
Small person? No. ("Less than a human", Software??)
blood?
Only human?
pre-birth?
Part of a specific human?
Blood? No.
Only human? This is where the footnotes come in. I am thinking of the AOTC in a sense specific to humans, but it can apply to other animals as well. You will almost certainly find it more helpful just to think about humans, though.
Pre-birth? No.
Part of a human? Yes. Part of a specific human? No.
A limb?
Limb? No.
An organ?
I nearly asked "Nigel Farage?" given the "Less than a human" answer :-)
Alive?
An organ? No.
Alive? No. *a little audience muttering*
Anything to do with medical research (stem cells etc)?
A cadaver?
Fingernails?
A beard or whiskers?
Medical research? No.
Cadaver? No.
Fingernails? No.
Beard/whiskers? Not the AOTC, but *massive applause*
A mustache?
A moustache? Yes! I am currently growing one as part of Movember (one of the founders of which is an alumni of the school where I now teach). I haven't had a moustache (without beard) since I was about 18, I think—and, if I do say so myself, I think it looks absolutely hideous. So if you feel like throwing support towards my Movember team, you can click here. It is a worthwhile cause.
*plucks out hairs one by one* and weaves them into a baton for cfm*

*ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!ow!
Sorrysorrysorry
Alumnus. As you were.
*clicks*
*is positively crushed to find no photo of moustachioed CdM*
*donates*
Okay, this next one is ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL ASSOCIATIONS
The idea of CdM with a moustache?
[Raak] *laughs* but NO :-)
A dog's life?
[cfm] Thank you. For a sufficiently large donation I will send you a photograph of someone with a moustache that, for all you know, could be me.
A fictional human?
[CdM] Er...not that crushed. :-)
Familiar phrase featuring pups? NO.
[GL] NO. The AOTC is abstract. I think that is the proper answer to your question...
Would many people consider the abstract to be a form of art?
Is the abstract associated with animal behaviour?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Dujon] Art for the masses? NO
[Rosie] Oh, behave!? YES
[Chalky] Famous expression? NO
Is this behaviour regarded as a good thing?
[Rosie] Well-behaved? YES and NO. There a number of animal behaviors associated with the AOTC. Some are good, some are not.
The mating season?
[Rosie] Fun and games? NO. *a few murmurs from the audience*
A form of 'showing off'?
[Dujon] Theatricality? YES. There is an element of theatricality associated with the behavior that is associated with the AOTC. (Reminding everyone that the behavior is not the AOTC.)
Acting the fool?
[Software] Fool me once? NO
Is fear involved?
A song?
[Rosie] Scary stuff? YES, in some instances. But many other emotions might also be associated.
[Chalky] A musical solution? NO. But come to think, there is a movie title closely related to the AOTC...FWIW. :-)
A board contest?
[Dujon] Board contest? Not sure what you mean. A board game like Monopoly? NO. A skate boarding contest? NO. Opposition to someone's nomination to a Board of Directors? NO. Or did you mean something else?
Is the AOTC a result or consequence of the associated behaviors we've been discussing?
[Chalky] A result of the behaviors? YES *audience applauds vigorously*
Is the AOTC a performance?
[Phil] Showtime? NO. Not in the traditional sense. But metaphorically speaking, one could relate it to a finale. *audience applauds encouragingly*
Is there a connection to sleep?
[GL]Perchance to dream? NO
Is this an abstract 'thing' awarded as a result of a result?
Sorry for the earlier rather broad question.
[Dujon] An award? I think the best answer is NO, not in the traditional sense of honoring or gifting someone. But but but...*audience encourages this line of thinking with hoots and hollers*
Is this an accolade?
Peer pressure?
[Phil] Highest praise? NO.
[Rosie] Everybody's doing it? NO, that is not the AOTC. However, since peer pressure is frequently one of the behaviors that results in the AOTC...*audience continues to applaud*
Posting to Youtube?
The herd instinct?
[GL] YouPost? NO
[Rosie] Bovine behavior? NO
Dieting?
[Chalky] Losing it? NO.
Let's have a look at where we are.
The AOTC is not a behavior in and of itself. It is the result of more than one behavior. Though no one asked specifically, the AOTC is the result of human behavior. One of behaviors associated with the AOTC has an element of performance about it though it is not a performance in the traditional fine art or entertainment sense. If the behavior were a performance, however, the AOTC could be likened to the finale of same. Peer pressure is often involved. Though not an award per se, one or more of the behaviors associated with giving an an award are also associated with the AOTC. I will throw in for free that the AOTC is a noun.
Are the people engaging in these behaviours part of a specific profession?
[CdM] On the job? YES. Professional behavior is involved.*approving applause*
A degree?
[Chalky] It's academic? NO. But *applause* because that's a noun and the final result of a series of behaviors.
a job promotion?
[Chalky] Climbing the ladder? NO.
An ASBO?
Anything to do with sport?
[GL] An acronym I had to look up? NO.
[Rosie] Sportsman-like? NO. But there are winners and losers associated. *applause*
Is it generally a negative acheivement?
By which I mean, for example, the 'wooden spoon' in a sporting tournament.
[Lovely Gravy] Unhappy face? MAYBE. (See "there are winners and losers associated" above.)
Does the noun relate to marriage?
Does the abstract noun relate to death?
[Dujon] Love or marriage? NO.
[Chalky] Mortality? NO.
Does this occur in a particular geographical location?
Twenty-nine questions over twenty days might indicate scant interest in this little puzzler - even my curiousity meter is twitching around 'indifferent'.
So it's not connected to love, marriage, birth, death, academia, job development, sport or the performing arts - is not a well-known phrase or saying or an an 'award', per se?
Does it involve a voting procedure?
Is it connected to the medical profession?
Would this have been possible 30 years ago?
[Chalky] Particular geographical location? NO, it happens in many locations.
[Chalky 2] Involves voting? YES, often.
[Chalky 3] Medical connection? YES and NO. It is not a critical connection but some of the most famous examples include a medical connection.
[Chalky 4] Possible 30 years ago? YES. And also 300 years ago.
*vigorous applause for the somewhat indifferent player*
Is this a leadership matter?
I've given up.
I apologize. I guess I am really bad at this game. Next time i get the baton, I will just pass it on.
The AOTC is "verdict" -- in the legal sense, the finale of a trial, which involves some degree of performance on the part of both attorneys and witnesses...and which also involves voting, at least in my experience as a juror.
[cfm] Sorry you feel the need to apologise - there was nothing wrong with your choice really.
Something I've said before on more than one occasion ... I think it helps to reply to a question without changing the questioner's original wordage. Spinning a question forces a 'double read' which can get tiresome. It can also mislead, eg. your reply to CdM's key question regarding a specific profession didn't inspire a rigorous follow-up and perhaps should have?
[Chalky] Thank you for the advice.
*raises, then lets the baton fall once on the desk and leaves it for whomever*
[cfm] I've only been in the chair once. It can be quite difficult to respond to questions in a manner relative. Some people are quite adept at it. I wasn't. Don't dwell on it, regardless of the somewhat snide comments you might receive.
If no one else is taking it.
[cfm] Don't worry about it. I've made the same mistakes before, we all have.

To hurry things along I will pick up this discarded baton and offer an ABSTRACT with MINERAL & ANIMAL connections.
A work of art?
[cfm] Work of art? I would say Yes, but not everyone would agree.
A singular work (versus a category of same?)
20/21 century?
[cfm] A thing, not a type of thing? Yes.
[Software] After 1900? Yes.
A piece of visual art?
[cfm] Visual Art? I said before, not everyone would agree it was even art. That said, if it is art, it probably qualifies as visual art. (I am guided solely by Wikipedia in this matter, however).
Could it be regarded as a style?
A monument?
Made of metal?
[Rosie] A style? No.
[Dujon] Monumental? No. *Audience Mirth*
[cfm] Metalic? No.
Was the AOTC intended as a work of art?
[cfm] Intended as art? No, at least I doubt its creator(s) would have used that word at the time.
Oh dear. Should have asked, is the mineral association with something metallic?
[cfm] Metallic association? No.
Is it man-made?
Is it the name of a place?
[Phil] man-made? Yes.
[Chalky] name of a place? *Audience Applaudes* Part of the AOTC is the name of a place.
Is the mineral connection water?
Can I go to a specific place to see it?
[Chalky] Wet Stuff? No.
[Phil] Can you see it in a specific place? Yes, I have seen it in several specific places.
Could it fit inside a microwave oven?
If it can be 'seen' is it Abstract?
[cfm] Could it fit inside a microwave oven? Yes, it's an abstract.
[Chalky] Is it really an Abstract? Yes.

To clarify the point, the contents/title of a book, film or TV programme would all be examples of abstracts that can be seen. (I'm not saying it's one of those but they still exist).
Well then, is it a film or TV program? (I don't know why I keep losing sight of the fact that this is an abstract!) :-)
[cfm] Film or TV? No.
Is it a logo?
An illusion of some kind?
[Chalky] logo? No.
[Rosie] A kind of magic? No.
Is there a musical connection?
Camelot?
[Chalky] Musical connection? Yes, music is involved to soem extent.
[Software] It's only a model? No.
Is it a play?
I said: IS IT A PLAY!?
Typical example of my stupidity - Software asks "Camelot?"
The reply comes back " It's only a model - No "
Result: I spend more time worrying about my failure to make a connection between these two posts than I do about the actual resolution of this puzzle. Thus confirming why I shouldn't be playing this game.
[Chalky] A Play? No.
Sorry, I've been preoccupied, my redundancy notice came through on Friday.
[GL] So sorry to hear that. I hope that another, better opportunity is just around the corner for you. (((((hug)))))
[cfm] Thanks, so do I. But now I've got my CV up to date etc. I'd welcome the distraction of getting the game back up and running.

So, in summary The AOTC is the name of a work for the second half of the twentieth century that contains both visual elements and music. It is not a play, film, or TV programme but more than one copy exists. The title itself contains the name of a place, which is the mineral connection. The animal connection remains unexplored.
Is the animal connection human?
[GL] Eek. Just spotted your redundancy posting. Been there, done that. Hope something turns up pronto.
[Chalky] I don't understand the Camelot/only a model connection either.
[Phil] Human connection? Yes, but not exclusively.
[Chalky/Phil] I'm sorry for the Camalot/Model thing, it was a reference to Monty Python's Holy Grail. Clearly I have seen it too recently. It was not a clue.
It's been two weeks
Is there anyone else still playing this?
A novel?
[Software] A novel? No
OK. Either I, Christmas, or a combination of the two seem to have killed this round/game. Whatever the reason, it would seem wise for me to step down and offer the baton to someone else.
The AOTC was The Secret of Monkey Island.

I will place this baton here for anyone to take.
I know I haven't played for ages, but I have an idea for a very straightforward and unsubtle one... MINERAL.
man made?
[GL] Manmade? YES
Made of metal?
[GL] I thought many times about your AVMA, but never thought of a video game. Not that I've heard of Monkey Island, though :)
Metallic? NO.
Wood?
Is it edible/potable?
Bigger than a bread box?
[Phil] I don't think anyone else thought of video games either. Also, you should play Monkey Island.
Found in the home?
[Rosie] Wood? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO
[GL] Smaller than a breadbox
[Software] Found in the home? YES is the best answer, albeit disputable.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Dujon] Plastic? NO
[GL] Stone? NO, I think.
Chalk?
[Chalky] u-y=aotc? NO.
Oil?
Liquid at room temperature?
A ceramic material?
[Rosie] Oil? NO
[GL] Liquid? NO
[Chalky] Ceramic? YES
Some form of crockery?
[Rosie] Plates etc.? NO
Something deliberately artistic?
A Garden Gnome?
[Phil] Very seldom considered art
[GL] GG? NO
A gentlemen's urinal?
Associated with a particular culture?
Is it used as an insulator?
[Rosie] Fountain? NO (but you are on the right track - that is if you really know your contemporary art very well!)
[CdM] Culturally specific? NO
[Dujon] Insulator? YES, I think you could say that.
Any connection with Le Mannequin Pis?
Long shot. Yes, it's bronze and older even than me, but my knowledge of contemporary art is not so much like the back of my hand as the sole of my foot.
[Rosie] P-boy? NO (getting colder)
Does water run through it?
[Rosie] Google "Duchamp's Fountain", of which I've been aware for about a week, by pure chance.
[Phil] Water through it? *audience guffaws* Hopefully not!
(Advice to most: don't bother with the contemporary art angle unless you've been paying very close attention since the end of Duchamp's era)
Is it functional, i.e. was it created to serve a particular purpose?
A swimming pool?
[Fil] Phunctional? YES
[Rosie] Pool? NO.
Is it designed to prevent water flow in some way?
[Phil] Prevents water flow? YES
Is it made of Bakelite?
A ceramic tap valve?
A ceramic bath plug?
A bottle stopper (with or without rubber washer)?
(Phil) Yeah, ceramic Bakelite - good stuff.
[Phil] Not Bakelite
[Software] Tap valve? NO
[GL] Plug it? NO
[Rosie] Bottlestopper? NO
Is it bigger than a toaster?
[Rosie] You know, something felt wrong as I typed it. What was I thinking!?
A brick?
A roof tile?
*lobs baton through Raak's window, wrapped in a note reading: "Essential component of Carl Andre's Equivalent VIII? YES!"
I think that’s my first lurker’s victory. Next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
The atmosphere?
The oncoming storm?
[Rosie] No atmosphere, as Neil Armstrong said.
[GL] Outlook for Viking, Fisher, German Bight? No.
Phrase or saying involved?
Mineral in its natural state?
[Software] Not a phrase or saying.
[Rosie] Unnatural.
A man-made object with a significance beyond its immediate use?
[Rosie] Can you unpack that? The words on the card refer to a man-made object. They also refer to something abstract.
The Sword of Damocles?
Having carefully unpacked it from its vagina.
[Rosie] Not the Sword of Damocles, wherever it's been.
Is the object made mainly of paper?
[Rosie] Not paper.
Is this larger than a 'phone box?
[Dujon] Smaller than a phone box.
Is it smaller than an iron atom?
[GL] Bigger than an iron atom.
Is it metallic?
but is it art?
[Rosie] Not metallic.
[Phil] Not art.
Plastic?
Stone?
[Rosie] Not plastic.
[Software] *mutters of "At last!" from the audience* Um, stone, sort of.
a diamond in the rough?
[GL] Not a diamond.
Is this a grave matter?
Depiction of a human?
[Dujon] Not grave.
[Rosie] Not a graven image.
Concrete?
Used in building?
[Phil] Not concrete.
[Rosie] *some applause*   Is used in building!
A pseudo-stone like Corian, for example?
[Software] Not a pseudo-stone. (I suspect a retired industrial chemist might inform us that the thing on the card isn't stone at all.)
A brick?
Glass?
I suspect GL has it.
[GL] *applause* GL very nearly has it, but it would be bad form for me to have just reused the previously set object. No, this is not a brick.
[Rosie] Not glass.
A breeze block?
[GL] Not a breeze block.
Mortar?
[Phil] Not mortar.
Another Brick In The Wall?
A chip off the old block?
[Chalky] Not Pink Floyd.
[Software] *murmurs in the audience* Not a chip.
A buttress?
female butter
[Rosie] Not a buttress.
Writer's block?
[Software] Not writer's block. *the audience drift off to sleep as the team wander into the fog*
The foundations?
[Rosie] Not foundations. Smaller than a phone box, folks.
Pebble-dashing?
With the abstract being the chundering euphemism.
[Phil] Projectile vomiting? No.
Some attention to the mineral aspect, and to the audience reactions, might be more fruitful.
Stone the crows?
[Software] Not corvicide.
Ceramic?
[Rosie] Yes, ceramic. *the audience open their eyes a crack, for hope springs eternal*
Down the toilet?
on the tiles?
[Software] Not a toilet.
[GL] Not a tile.
The Keystone?
[Chalky] Not a keystone.
Does the AOTC include the word 'stone' - compounded or otherwise?
[Dujon] No occurrence of "stone". A hint: it does have an occurrence of a significant word that has been guessed already.
Does the AOTC include the word 'brick'?
[GL] *applause* It does contain the work “brick”!
Drop a brick?
[Software] Not a dropped brick.
A brick ****house?
I love my brick!
A Few Bricks Short Of A Load?
[Projoy] Not a brick house.
[GL] Not a sex toy.
[Chalky] Not a few bricks short.
Hint: neither of the words on the card is "brick".
Decorative Brickwork?
Clutching at straws as I've ground to a mental block
[Phil] Not decorative brickwork.
Bricklayer's Arms?
[Projoy] Huge hands with no fingerprints? No.
Bricking It?
[Chalky] Not bricking it.
Hint: the words on the card are an indefinite article followed by a noun.
A brickbat?
[Projoy] At last! A brickbat! Have this bouquet tied to a hurled half-brick.
OK, this one is ABSTRACT (with mineral and vegetable connections)
A phrase or saying?
Bouquets and brickbats?
Anything to do with bricks?
[Raak] We've taught each other a new word each in the last 5 days :-)
[GL] Phrase/saying? NO
[Raak] Florid critiques? NO
[Phil] Brick-related? YES.
Does the AOTC contain 'brick'?
[Phil] =*"brick"*? NO
Does the Abstract convey a sense of strength?
[Rosie] Abstrong? NO
What about permanence, then?
Any building related terms in the AOTC?
[Rosie] Permanence? NO
[Software] Building-related? YES
Is there a music connection?
[Chalky] Music? NO.
Vegetable wood?
[Rosie] Wood could be involved but I had something else in mind as the veg connection.
Is there a "wall" connection?
[Phil] Walls? A connection, but not a crucial one.
Is it a place?
[Chalky] A place? NO
Is the mineral/vegetable connection paint?
Is it a building?
Is it related to roofs?
[Dujon] Paint? NO
[Chalky] Building? NO *applause*
[GL] Roofesque? YES, related.
Is it a collection of constructions?
[Chalky] Collection? NO
A Monument?
Remains of a building?
A Map?
[Chalky] Monumental? NO
[Phil] Ruin? NO
[Chalky] Cartograph? NO
A house of cards?
[Sw] House of cards? *some cynical laughter from audience* NO.
Is it a well-known phrase or idiom?
Just remembered it's Abstract!
Is a human construct?
[Phil] Gusset asked that question ^^^ up there. Apparently it's not.
[Chalky] So (s)he did. Oops!
[Chalky] Human Construct? YES.
The concept of being indoors?
[GL] Withinness? NO
To do with religion?
[Rosie] Secular.
Is the AOTC generally regarded as a good thing?
[Chalky] A Good ThingTM? Probably more YES than NO, but it would depend on whom you asked and when you asked them.
Connected with the weather?
[Chalky] Weathery? NO.
Is it related to architecture?
[Phil] Architecture? YES, basically.
Is it a recognisable 'style' of architecture
Is it a blueprint?
[Chalky] Style? NO
[GL] Blueprint? NO
An Englishman's home?
[Software] Well known phrase or saying? NO :)
Is it linked to a specific individual building?
[CdM] An exclusive address? NO.
Is the mineral stone?
[Phil] Mineral stone? INTER ALIA.
Does this relate to a piece of literature?
[Chalky] Literary? Most likely mentioned in literature but not specifically famous for that.
Is it the name of a room?
[Chalky] Not the name of a room.

CLUE: A lot of people reading will have direct personal experience of this, and for those that do they will have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
Is it an activity?
A game?
[Phil] Activity? SORT OF, not exactly
[Chalky] A game? *audience laughter* NO.
Conveyancing?
A profession or occupation?
[Phil] Conveyancing? NO *some applause*
[Chalky] Not a profession.
Buying a house?
[Raak] Housebuying? NO *audience look pleased*
Selling a house?
Moving House?
still in the right area
[Raak] Selling? NO
[Chalky] Moving? NO.
Gazumping?
House-hunting?
is renting a house involved?
[Chalky] Gazumping? What a wonderful word. NO
[Chalky] Hunting? NO
[Raak] Renting involved? NO *applause* NO, not in the sense you probably mean.
Is 'demolition' part of this?
[Dujon] Demolish? NO! Well, hopefully not.
Speculative development?
still in the right area
[Raak] Build it and they will come? NO.
Does a word in the AOTC end with "-ing"
Does it involve building a building?
[Phil] Gerund? NO
[Raak] Involves building? NO. (Involves a building? YES).
A mortgage?
A survey?
A valuation?
Home Insurance?
the default option
[Rosie, Chalky] Not those, since...
[Raak] YES! A MORTGAGE. The mineral connection is bricks and mortar and the vegetable connections are paperwork and cash. * hands over the baton in exchange for Raak's promise to pay him for it once a month for the next thirty years *
Don't worry, the government will bail you out.

The next is MINERAL, with ABSTRACT connections.

Does it involve bricks?
[GL] No bricks.
A man-made structure?
[Rosie] Man-made.
Metallic?
[Software] Nonmetallic.
Made of stone?
[Rosie] Made of stone.
Stonehenge?
A building?
[irach] Not Stonehenge
[Projoy] Not a building.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Rosetta Stone?
In Britain?
Larger than a telephone box?
(Damn. I actually thought of mortgage when Projoy gave us his clue, but then rejected it for some really compelling reason that I can't remember.) :-)
[Rosie, CdM] Smaller than a telephone box in Britain, because...
[GL] The Rosetta Stone!
Hmmmm...

Let's go with an ABSTRACT with Animal connections.
Human animal?
[Software] human? - No.
Is the animal a type of animal (as opposed to an animal product, such as leather)?
A well-known phrase or saying?
[Phil] animal? - Not an animal product.
[Chalky] phrase or saying? - No.
Some sort of organisation?
A book/story?
the Animal connection - a living organism?
[Rosie] organisation? - No.
[Dujon] book/story? - Yes.
[Chalky] a living creature? - Yes.
A children's story?
Moby Dick?
Long shot.
[Phil] kids' tale? - Yes.
[Rosie] The great white whale? - No.
Does this animal have a tendency to sound like a clock?
[Dujon] Sounds like a clock? - No.
Is the typical/target readership under 8 years old?
[CdM] target readership<8? Why do you assume a story needs to be read?
Tom and Jerry?
Winnie the Pooh?
[Rosie] T&J? - No.
[Raa] A bear of very little brains? - No.
Has the story been filmed?
[Raak] on film? - Yes.
Babe?
Bambi?
[Chalky] Good Pig? - No.
[Software] Bambi? - No. *Some applause*
Did this involve some number of brooms?
Cartoon?
[Dujon] brooms? - I don't remember any.
[Chalky] cartoon? - No.
Disney?
[Chalky] Sidney? - No.
Peter Rabbit?
has the film been on release for longer than 10 years?
[Software] Peter Rabbit? - No.
[Chalky] film age>10 years? - Yes.
Old Yeller?
[cfm] Old Yeller? - No.
A dog?
[Chalky] Dog? - No.
a horse ... or maybe a kangaroo?
[Chalky] Horse/Kangaroo? - Not a horse. Not a kangaroo. Not some freaky cross-breed of the two.
You leave my black velvet coated skippy alone, Chalky. ;)
Does this film involve hunters?
[Dujon] hunters? - No, not that I recall anyway.
Mickey Mouse?
Bambi/Disney?
[Software] Mickey Mouse? - No.

Summary: The AOTC is a living, fictional, non-human character and the title of a live action film from more than ten years ago. The character is not a dog, horse, kangaroo or any traditional game animal (no hunters). It is not a book (I couldn't even find a novelisation) and the film was not made by Disney.
Why did Bambi get some applause from the audience?
King Kong?
Trigger, the Wonder Horse?
[Chalky] Bambi got the clap? - First time someone guessed a film with a title character.
[Chalky] King Kong? - No.
[Raak] Trigger? - Not a horse, not even Trigger.
Babe?
Racing Stripes?
[Software] Babe? - Still not Babe.
[Phil] Racing Stripes? - No.
A member of the cat family?
Is the AOTC humanoid?
[Raak] Feline? - No.
[Phil] Humanoid? - Yes.
a Martian?
[Raak] Martian? - *Audience applaudes loudly* No, or at least probably not.
Is the central character a being stranded on Earth?
Paul?
[Dujon] Stranded on Earth? - Yes.
[Phil] Paul? - No.
ET?
Superman?
[Phil] Kal-El? - No.
[Chalky] Phone home? - YES it was ET The Extraterrestrial. Have a baton with one glowing end.
Splendid! Thank you GL.


Keeping it simple with A N I M A L and V E G E T A B L E and even a hint of M I N E R A L
Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt?
[Raak] Meat and two veg with a sprinkling of salt? NO *audience applause*
Is it edible?
Smokey bacon crisps?
[Phil] Edible? YES
[Raak] Smokey bacon crisps? NO - but *a huge roar of approval from an already excited audience*
A full english breakfast?
Oh, I say ...

Thanks to some incisive questioning Projoy has it!
Full English Breakfast is indeed the AOTC.

Here you are, dear chap, please accept this amusingly-shaped sausage baton ... phnarr phnarr
How eggs-citing. Hopefully I won't make a hash of the next one.

MINERAL
Is it man made?
[GL] Human-made? YES.
Metal, mostly?
[Rosie] More metal than not? NO, but there is metal in it.
Intended to be digested?
Bricklike?
[Dj] Gustible? NO.
[Chalky] Bricky? NO.
[Rosie, addendum re: metal] I guess that by mass the metal makes up less than 50% but now I think about it more, I'm not completely sure.
Electrical?
A device, gadget, tool etc?
Yes or No to any - I'm not trying it on.
[Software] Electrical? I'd say NO * a murmur in the audience*
[Rosie] "Device" is probably the best out of those options.
A piece of equipment designed for the reception of radio signals?
[Dj] PoEDftRoRS? NO. *much audience applause*
battery operated?
A router?
A CD?
[Chalkeroonie] Battery? NO
[Rosie] Router? NO
[GL] CD? NO *tumultuous applause*
A cassette tape?
A DVD?
[rab] A cassette? YES!
* hands over a biro so you can rewind to the start of a new round*
Bollocks
I should know better than to post before buffering off to the pub for six hours.

Mine is ABSTRACT, potentially with connections to all three other categories.

The colour red?
[Chalky] Whence "phnarr phnarr", I wonder?
Reality?
Imagination?
music?
[Tuj] I first encountered it in the 80s via "Finbarr Saunders and his Double Entendres" in Viz magazine (once the 3rd most popular magazine in the UK!)
Colours - not even close.
Reality - only in the sense that this does have a physical manifestation.
Imagination - components might transpire as a figment of the same.
Music - no. But the general level of tangibility is not far off.
A human invention?
An artform?
As opposed to a specific piece of art.
Is this an emotion of some kind?
A performance of some kind?
(Tuj, Phil) I'm sure it was "Fnarr, fnarr".
April Fool?
Sorry for asking two questions but this one had to be asked.
Human? - very much so yes.
Artform? - to say yes would be deliberately obtuse, but the level of specificity is spot on.
Performance? - of some kind, I suppose so.
Ha ha bonk? - no
Is this an emotion of some kind?
On behalf of Dujon the Whisperer ;-)
Sorrow.
Emotional? No. Not that human.
Academia?
Lackademicals
No, but I like the cut of your jib.
Teaching?
A theory?
Teaching - no, but keep thinking about performances in the broader sense
A theory - no
Might this involve 'letters after ones name'?
Legal connection?
A medical connection?
Postnomials? Probably, but not necessarily.
Legal link? *applause* Yes, keep going
Medical? Possibly, but not necessarily.
Being called to the bar?
Mine's a small americano
Nope.
Evidence?
*ooh ahh* part of the performance certainly.
Cross-examination?
Making a statement?
A trial?
Prosecution?
Grumpy looks? No, but this is definitely involved.
Statement? Likewise
Inspiration for Kafka? audience oohs, aahs and generally inhales in a "that'll costya" kind of way no
Perspiration? No.
A tribunal?
Advocacy?
Tribunal? Not long, now.
Advocacy? Less abstract.
A court case?
Luggage? Nope. Keep going though.
Legal Aid?
The Supreme Court?
Unexciting fizzy drink? No
Cooked in stock and cream and served with rice to make an unfulfilling dish? Nein.
You were closest with the tribunal-style performance.
A Judgement?
A judicial review?
Public Inquiry?
A Royal Commission?
A verdict?
Got there in the end
Yay, Chalky. It was a public inquiry. Well done.
Yay. Nice one. Good to see you, rab.
As is my custom - a quickie ...
A N I M A L

Human?
[Raak] Human? YES - ish.
Politician?
Maria Miller?
An extinct hominid?
Sajid Javid?
Alive now?
[Gusset Login] - Politician? NO
[Software]- Maria Miller? NO
[Raak] - An extinct hominid? NO
[Projoy]- Sajid Javid? NO
[Rosie] - Alive now? n/a
A group of people?
A post or position?
To do with the military?
[Raak] A group of people? NO *a smattering of applause*
[Rosie] A post or position? NO
[Dujon] To do with the military? As much as 'it' is to do with any person or group of people.

*clarification* Without the indefinite article I assumed the one-word opening question was an adjective as opposed to a noun - hence my vague-ish reply.
Humanity? I.e. everyone?
[Raak] Humanity? NO - however, this relates to 'everyone'
A specific individual?
Part of a human?
The human genome?
[Projoy] Specific? NO
[Gusset Login] Part of a human? YES! *audience whooop whoops*
[Raak] The human genome? NO - although given my reply to GL above - more relevant than earlier guesses ;-)
An internal organ?
An organ?
Oops. I meant, a bone?
The bridge of the nose.
hehe
[GL] An internal organ? Arguably - YES, this is classified as an organ in most places [that classify such things].
[Projoy] YES an organ, still ... but definitely not a bone.
[rab] The bridge of the nose? NO - but *audience seems to like all the last few questions*
Is this (or these) particular 'empty' spaces within the human body?
The skin?
[Dujon] Empty spaces? NO
[Raak] The skin? NO
The blood?
Is it found at one specific location in the body?
The appendix?
[Raak] The blood? YES! Need a little more for the AOTC .. *roars of approval from a very excited audience*
[rab] Specific location? As confirmed above - several locations throughout the body.
[Phil] Appendix? Nah :)
The circulatory system?
[GL] Circulatory system? NO
The corpuscles?
[Raak] Corpuscles - NO - although they are relevant ..
Anything to do with the process of healing?
Red blood cells?
The immune system?
No to all - it's about Blood!
Blood BLOOD
Blood vessels?
A blood donation?
Seeing the word so often on the page, the voice in my head is now making it rhyme with "mood". mood ... blood ... food ... blood ... hood ... blood ... wood .. blood ...
Black pudding, then. So there.
[Software] I think Chalky said yes to "human?", so that would be quite some black pudding if it is right.
[Projoy] Not blood vessels
[Raak] Not a blood donation
[Software] Not a human black pudding.

Remember ... it's all about the blood.
blood plasma?
An armful (very nearly)?
Haemoglobin?
Is this a type of blood cell which has various types?
[Raak] Plasma? Not the AOTC
[Projoy] Not an armful
[Rosie] Haemoglobin? Not the AOTC
[Dujon] 'Various types' is a phrase which should lead to the AOTC ... *audience wakes up*
A rhesus negative?
What took you so long ..?
[Projoy] 'A rhesus negative' is about as close as anyone has come to the AOTC, with the exception of Raak who guessed the 'blood' word. As the AOTC is Rhesus Negative Blood I am thrilled to hand over this gargantuan syringe-shaped baton to do with as you wish ..
It may be just a smear to you, mate, but that's life or death to some poor blighter.
OK, here's another.

ANIMAL
Human?
[Rosie] Human? YES.
Alive?
A particular human?
[GL] Not alive.
[Phil] A particular human.
Died this year?
[GL] Mort MMXIV? NO
A pianist?
An actor?
Died this decade?
Involved in "the arts"?
... or even "the sciences"?
[Dujon] Pianist? NO.
[rab] Actor? YES.
[GL] Mort -10? NO.
[Phil] Arts? YES.
[Chalky] Science? NO.
Male?
British?
[Phil, Rosie] British and Male.
Has he starred in a major science fiction movie?
Died post 1990?
[Raak] SF movie? Pretty sure that's a NO.
[Chalky] Died after the Thatcher era? NO.
Died before 1970?
Died before the Heath era? YES.
Shakespearean roles?
Garrick?
Died before 1960?
#obsessingonthedeaththing
[Raak, Rosie] Not known for Shakespeare
[Chalky] Died since 1960.
Kenneth Horne?
Stan Laurel?
Vocalist?
[GL] Stiff Horne? NO.
[Phil] Resting Laurel? Another fine mess: NO.
[Software] If you mean singer, then NO.
Tony Hancock?
The lad himself
[Rosie] It IS Tony Hancock. Please take this radio aerial (and send a tray of bread pudding to Kuala Lumpur).
Part of my early teenage years. On the Home Service, no less, or was it the Light Programme? Can't remember. Now, what shall I do with this thing? Ah, yes -

ABSTRACT and MINERAL.

The Philosopher's Stone?
The last train?
Sonic Screwdriver?
A legendary object?
(Phil) Nothing so concrete.
(Projoy) Nice try, but alas....
(GL) No, not a latter-day Swiss Army penknife.
(Raak) YES, at least in the Abstract sense.
A particular vision?
(Dujon) YES, something specific.
Hidden textI am now going to bed
Human-made?
(Projoy) NO, not a human creation though the Abstract indirectly involves humans.
Something that might be studied by scientists?
(Projoy) They might, as an incidental, but it's not the flavour of the AOTC.
Anything to do with steam engines?
(Raak) Vocal traction? Not a scintilla, not a smithereen, not e'een a wisp of steam from a leaky cylinder gland.
Is a lake often associated with this?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with lakes.
To do with "The Arts"?
A corno da tirarsi?
A brass instrument that Bach specifies in four of his cantatas, but no-one knows exactly what instrument he meant.
(Phil) Nothing to do with The Arts.
(Raak) Not a little trumpet.
Hidden text(Welsh) corn bach
Metallic?
(Software) NO, not at all metallic.
A natural feature?
(GL) YES, a natural feature.
Giant's Causeway?
(GL) NO, nothing so hexagonal.
In the UK?
(Raak) Mineral - NO, Abstract - Mainly NO but could be.
Is the AOTC a mountain?
(Dujon) NO, not a mountain.
Are the abstract and mineral two distinct (essentially unconnected) meanings of the AOTC?
(CdM) The two are connected, one literal, one figurative.
Is this a weather feature?
(Chalky) Weather? Broadly, YES. *audience stops texting and looks up*
Does the word 'global' appear on the card?
(Dujon) "Global"? NO.
Is this a weather formation that was given a name?
Confused as always.
(Dujon) YES, it has a specific name but this is not normally regarded as a meteorological term.
Is this a form of wind pattern?
I know that I shouldn't but everyone else seems to have knocked off for the weekend.
(Dujon) NO, not a wind pattern.
Is it associated with deserts?
A dust storm?
(GL) Maybe a stronger asssociation with deserts than other places but a long way from exclusively so.
(Softers) Not a dust storm.
Is this 'object' a form of visual 'trickery'?
(Dujon) Visual trickery? NO, very real.
Associated with water or lack of?
(Chalky) Nothing to do with water, most certainly not.
Solar power?
(Chalky) YES, very much so. *audience goes positively orgasmic*
So is that the AOTC ...?
If it isn't I'm not quite sure where to go from here ..
Ra, the Sun God?
Apollo?
The sun?
(Chalky) NO, not the AOTC, but it's about the sun.
(Phil) NO, not Ra, not a God.
(Projoy) NO, not Apollo.
(Gusset Login) Yes, but specifically....?
halo?
Sunshine?
(Software) Not a halo.
(Projoy) The AOTC is much more specific.
A little ray of sunshine?
(Projoy) Rather more than that, it would seem.
A supernova?
A solar flare?
Solar winds?
(Raak, CdM, Projoy) Nothing as technical as these. An earthbound phenomenon, not a scientific term.
A sunbeam?
(Projoy) Not a sunbeam. This is probably more Art than Science.
Is this something like the sight of a huge cumulonimbus lit up by the setting sun?
(Dujon) A nice image that conjures up but alas NO. HINT: The AOTC is the name of a pub.
The Rising Sun?
(Chalky) NO, but very close. Move on a bit. *audience now hyperventilating dangerously*
The Midday Sun?
Thanks to Google
The Sun and Ferret Droppings?
The Setting Sun?
The Sun and Heir?
(Chalky, Projoy,Raak) Not the Sun and Trouserpress, either, for

Phil has it. The midday sun. Well done. Stay indoors.

As soon as I saw it was in Surrey, it had to be right.

Next, for your amusement and intellectual delight, we shall have:

Vegetable & Animal

Edible?
Well, that's a nice easy start :)
[Raak] Edible? YES
A chicken salad sandwich?
[Projoy] Chix Salad Butty? NO
Pub grub?
[Software] Is the AOTC "Pub grub"? NO, but it could be classified as such
Is the animal red meat?
Scampi and chips in the basket ?
very 70s
Is the vegetable potatoes?
A 'lunch' of some kind?
Scotch Broth?
[Rosie] Red meat? According to the USDA, YES, but in my personal opinion, NO.
[Software] Scampi? NO
[Raak] Potatoes? NO
[Dujon] some kind of 'lunch'? YES, it can be.
[Chalky] Scotch Broth? NO *some encouraging applause*
Some form of burger?
[Rosie] Burger? NO
soup?
Does it contain sausage?
Is bacon involved?
[Raak] Soup? YES *more applause*
[Rosie] Inc. sausage? NO
[GL] Bacon involved? NO * A smattering of applause*
Does this involve ham and peas?
[Dujon] Ham & Peas? YES *Considerable applause*
Pea and ham soup?
Does it begin with a...
Ahem.
[Tuj] But 3 hours too late :)
[Raak] Pea and ham soup? YES
Officially, as far as I could find, pork counts as red meat in the USA, and appears to be undefined here. But in my opinion, 3 categories of meat exist :red, white and processed, hence my awkward answer earlier.
*passes a breadstick to Raak*
The next is ANIMAL.
Is bacon involved?
Does this animal consume bacon?
[GL] Bacon is not involved.
[CdM] Does not normally consume bacon.
Is it human?
Alive?
[Gusset Login] Not human.
[Rosie] Alive.
One particular animal?
[Rosie] Um...yes and no.
An animal foetus perhaps?
[Dujon] Not a foetus.
A swarm of bees attacking Topshop?
Is it a parasite?
[GL] Not a swarm of bees.
[Dujon] Yes! It is a parasite.
A louse?
[Software] Not a louse.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with P.
Is this an internal parasite (as opposed to a tick or its ilk)?
[Dujon] Not an internal parasite.
Is it a Benefit Scrounger?
[Chalky] * laughter and applause* Yes, I suppose it is in a way.
A mosquito?
[Rosie] Not a mosquito.
Was this once used by doctors as a remedy for various ills?
[Dujon] Not a cureall.
Tick?
[GL] Not a tick.
Does it have a relationship with bats?
[Dujon] Not below the phylum level.
A bedbug?
Flea?
[CdM,Software] Not a bedbug or a flea.
Does the average Morniverser harbour this creature?
[Rosie] The average Morniverser probably does not harbour this creature.
Hint: think bigger.
Is this more likely to be found on something other than a human?
[Dujon] Yes, does not parasitise humans.
Some sort of worm?
[Projoy] Not a worm.
Hint: bigger!
Do the parasite and its host live in water?
[Dujon] Not in water.
A vampire bat?
Dracula? No.
Cuckoo?
[Software] **riotous applause!!** Yes, a cuckoo! But which one?
The first cuckoo of spring?
[Projoy] Precisely so!
My mind went straight to Delius as soon as cuckoos came up.

The next is MINERAL.
Well it would wouldn't it? Dear old Fred.
Is the mineral natural?
Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to ask a question.
Is it metal?
Is it edible/potable?
[Duj] Natural? NO
[GL] Metal? NO
[Chalky] Edible? NO * a reflective chuckle from an audient*
Stony?
So close, oh so close :(
[Software] Stony? NO, this falls on stony ground.
Sorry I pipped you. The late worm catches the bird, I guess.
Plastic?
[GL] YES, a form of plastic.
Decorative?
A form of packaging?
[Sw] Decorative? YES, mainly
[Rosie] Packaging? NO
Lycra?
[GL] Lycra? NO *scattered applause*
A clothing fabric?
Ladies clothing oriented?
Latex?
Spray-on jeans of the sort that have lately become fashionable?
[Phil] Clothing? YES
[Software] Ladies'? NO
[GL] Rubber? NO
[Raak] Sprayon? NO
Is this pants/trouser support?
[Duj] Keeps your panties on? NO.
Is it a codpiece?
Though I suppose that could arguably be described as "packaging"...
[blame] Codpiece? NO *audience applause*
Is it used in the undergarment department?
[Phil] Undies? NO
Cricket box?
Not sure if that's undies or overies. Now I'm working on a pun involving overs... Meantime I'm emboldened to guess by the applause, if not by the html, but also aware they'll applaud anything remotely saucy that lot...
[blame] Overies unlikely to be found in a cricket box, shurely? NO.
Rubber?
[Raak] Rubber? NO, definitely synthetic.
*googles* Oh, there is such a thing as synthetic rubber. Anyway, it's not that.
Is the item visible on a normally-clothed person?
a hat of some sort?
[Rosie] I don't know about "normally clothed", but YES, it would be visible on a person wearing it.
[Chalky] Hat? NO.
A condom?
A wet suit?
A superhero's cape?
[Chalky] Une lettre? NON
[Phil] Wet suit? NO *an audient smiles, teasingly*
[Raak] Cape? NO
Hi-Vis jacket?
Is it work-related apparel?
[Software] Jobsworth uniform? NO
[Raak] Job uniform? NO
An umbrella hat?
[Raak] If you want to get ahead? NO.
Is this designed to keep the wearer dry?
Mainly decorative you say ... ?
[Duj] For dryness? NO
[Chalky] Decorative? YES.
Is it made of neoprene?
A substantial fascinator?
[Phil] Neoprene? NO
[Raak] Fascinator? NO
Does this item have any lascivious connections?
Comedy apron?
Is this normally worn above the waist?
[Rosie] Naughty? NO
[Chalky] Apron? NO
[Dujon] Above the waist? YES.
below the neck?
[Chalky] Below neck? YES AND NO.
Scarf?
[Soft] Scarf? NO.
Is it a form of necklace?
... or necktie maybe?
[Dujon] Necklace? NO
[Chalky] Necktie? YES, a form of... *applause*
A noose?
[Raak] Synthetic noose? NO.
Bow Ties are cool
Is it? A dickie bow?
[blame] Not a dickybird from the audience for that, I'm afraid.
Cravat?
[Software] Cravat? NO.
PVC collar for the BDSM community?
,[Phil] Of Human Bondage? NO. As per Chalky's answer, the AotC is a form of necktie, or 'tie', as we Brits call it.
A policeman's clip-on tie?
In that case...
[Phil] Clip-on tie? NO.
A clerical collar?
Not female wear. .. and mainly decorative?
Just so's we're all on the same hymn sheet ...
[Rosie] Dog collar? NO
[Chalky] YES, a form of male (by convention), decorative necktie.
"Bolo" tie?
[Phil] Bolo? X.
One of those hideous things Texans wear?
[Soft] A "bolo" tie, as I believe they're called? NO
A kipper tie?
Is that why they applauded codpiece? For the cod, rather than - as it were - the piece...
[blame] YES! the words on the card are "a nylon kipper tie", and the fish connection was indeed the reason for the applause. *turns the baton around itself twice, folds the end through the gap, passes it through the loop, tightens, and hands it over to blamelewis*
I was fishing from the shoulders of giants...
Yay, whee, oh cripes do I have to do one now?

Errrrr... ANIMAL
A human?
A Duck?
The Duck-Man of Oswestry?
[Projoy] Oh I do hope that's right - we did a project on him at school.
No to all above sadly...
The Ocelot-Man of Oswestry?
The Owl-Man of Oswestry?
Part of a dead animal?
I fear Owestry has no part in it... And it's less part of a dead animal than the whole of a living one.
Mammal?
Fish?
Neither Fish nor Mammal.
Is it a bird?
dingdingding
[Rosie] Yes!
The Duck-Pigeon of Wrexham?
A penguin?
Associated with NE Wales?
The chick of Chirk. I know this part of the world rather well.
[Projoy] We need to have a talk.
[Gusset] Not a penguin.
[Rosie] Not to my knowledge.
Mythical avian?
A well-known phrase or saying?
So much for the Albatross of Acrefair, then.
A species of bird?
[Software] I have reasonably good reason to believe it's a real species
[Rosie] None that I've come across
[Phil] Yes, exactly that.
Does this bird fly?
Likely to be seen in a British back garden?
[Dujon] Shrewd. No it doesn't.
[Rosie] Alas no.
Is it a penguin?
Is it a Kiwi?
[Phil] Still not a penguin :)
[Gusset] Neither a Kiwi
An ostrich?
But not the Oswestry Ostrich, obviously.
Emu?
A dodo?
I know you said living but all the good answers were gone.
[Rosie] Obviously. Also, no.
[Software] U me? (no...)
[Gusset] I can promise you that just fewer than two good answers remain.
Is it extinct?
A bird that is to be found in northern Australia?
Grebe?
A cassowary?
(since Dujon never actually comes out with the guess) :-)
A gold star to CdM. What a morniverse-analytic person you are. :)
[Raak] Nope
[Dujon] Nope
[Gusset] Nope
[CdM] Nope
Rhea?
A caracara?
[Software] Not a Rhea, but Rare! (Not a Ratite, but a rarity)
[Phil] it is not, but thanks for introducing me to a new bird name...
A steamer duck?
Ostrich?
A recap
It's a non-mythical species of bird, flightless and rare.
It is none of the following:
Penguin, Penguin, Kiwi, Ostrich, Emu, Grebe, Cassowary, Rhea, Caracara, Steamer Duck, Ostrich.
A cryptic clue follows
Hidden textFilthy Teletubby!
The Kakapo of Ludlow?
The Po Bird?!
Is it someting along the lines of the Oomegoolybird?
This was posted via Eh-Oh L.
"Something". I have not gone Jamaican.
Penguin?
Projoy has it!
Apart from the Ludlow bit, as far as I'm aware...
[Gusset] A droll lol...
It is indeed the endearingly hopeless Kakapo, which I learned about from Douglas Adams' wonderful Last Chance To See and the later TV series with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine revisiting the species from the book years later.
[Rosie] I remember that joke, is it from Clue? "very short legs..."
OK, here's an ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL
France?
Some form of food and drink?
[GL] France? NO
[blamelewis] Edible/Imbibable? NO
Can you wear it?
A gold embossed, leather bound book?
Arty?
Does the animal part relate to humans?
Is this an object once used in war and hunting?
[GL] Book? NO
[Raak] Art-related? NO
[Phil] Animal human? PARTLY/MAINLY, I suppose.
[Dujon] An object? NO. Used in war? ARGUABLY (but probably not that helpful an angle).
[Softers] Wearable? NO.
Is/was there just one of it?
[Raak] Just one? YES is the best answer.
The Earth, and all that is upon it?
A man-made environment?
[Raak] The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea, all which it inherit? NO
[Rosie] A man-made environment? YES, I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
The Anthropocene Age?
[Raak] Humantime? NO
Is/was it in space?
[blame] In space? NO (except in the sense that everything is).
A theatre?
Can you see all of it at once?
[blame] Not a theatre.
[Rosie] Can you see it all at once? NO, not from most angles.
(I guess it depends how strict your definition of 'it all' is).
Bigger than a phonebox?
[Software] Much bigger than a phonebox.
Bigger than Ireland?
[GL] Smaller than Ireland.
About the size of Wales?
1 standard unit.
[Rosie] Smaller than a Wales.
Bigger than Kent?
[GL] Smaller than Kent.
A man-made island?
Bigger than Central London?
Within the M25
[Software] Not an island
[GL] Smaller than London, both in M25 and 1965 and 1899 boundaries terms.
er, 1889, I meant.
Bigger than the London Eye?
[GL] Yes, bigger than the biggest ferris wheel.
Is it an organisation?
[blamelewis] Organised? No, not as such.
A specific urban area?
[Rosie] A specific urban area? YES.
Slough?
In the UK?
[Software] Come, friendly bombs? NO
[GL] In UK? YES!
Is this an area which might be loosely termed as an 'entertainment' district?
[Duj] Entertainment? NO.
Is it a City?
Is it in Wales?
Is it a distinctive part of some large city?
[blame] City? NO
[GL] Wales? NO. *audience cries of 'bad luck, old chap'*
[Rosie] Distinctive part? NO.
Is it in England?
Shropshire?
[GL] England? YES!
[Software] Shropshire? YES!
Gotta be Oswestry.
[Rosie] Oswestry, home of the famous duck-man? YES! Please take this very short section of the England-Wales border.
Well, well, I've been Offa'd a Dyke. Oswestry was "town" to my Dad's family from Glynceiriog.

Enough of this rambling - the next object is

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections.

A human construct?
(Pj) A human construct? - YES.
Particularly linked to a specific human?
(CdM) Linked to a specific human? - NO.
Is there a religious theme to the answer?
(Phil) Religious theme - NO.

Clarification/Correction: The "human construct" applies to the wording rather than the idea itself.

Phrase or saying?
(Software) Phrase or saying? - YES.
Wales-related?
Is the animal element specifically human?
(Projoy) Nothing to do with Wales, or its border towns.
(Phil) Animal element human? - YES.
Is there anybody there?
(Rosie) Not a soul.
A fool and his money are soon parted?
I am
(Softers) So true, but not this time.

Hint: The AOTC contains no verb - it's a description.

So that'd be along the lines of a 'Man Mountain' then?
(Dujon) Possibly along those lines, YES.
Duck Face?
(Gusset Login) Not "Duck Face". *some aduience murmurings of approval*
Selfie?
(Gusset Login) Not a selfie.
Is the mineral naturally occurring?
(Dujon) Naturally occurring mineral? NO.
A photo bomb?
atomic or otherwise
Is this something related to some thing people wear?
(GL) Er, not sure what that is, but it ain't the answer.
(Dujon) No relation to anything worn.
Related to "The Arts"?
Something somebody does?
(Phil) The Arts and How They Was Done? NO.
(Software) Not a thing anybody does.
A type of person?
(Raak) Strictly, NO, but we may be getting somewhere. *audience, previously somnolent, now considerably animated*
A fictional character?
A role that someone plays?
(Phil) Fictional? NO. This is about real people.
(Raak) NO, not a role.
A job title?
(Phil) Job title? NO.
Raak's penultimate: The AOTC is not a type of person but describes a type of person.
A Fat Bastard?
A jobsworth?
(Software) Not a Fat Bastard.
(Raak) Not a jobsworth.
It's figurative - see the original definition.
Is this something one would be pleased to be described as?
(Raak) A nice description? Someone described thus may well say yes, but the vast majority, no.
Is the mineral metal?
Trying different line of attack...
(Phil) Is the mineral metal? YES.
Man of iron?
(Software) Not Man of Iron, nor Thatcher. Try just a little further up the Periodic Table.
Is it related to Polonium?
(Gusset Login) Polonium? NO. Not that far up the Periodic Table, nothing like it.
copper?
(Phil) Copper? YES, but not solely.
Bronze Age Man?
(Phil) Bronze Age Man? NO.
Brass neck?
(Software) Damn cheek, but the right answer! A Brass Neck it is. I hand you the brazen stick.
Gosh, I must get out the Brasso.

Now what have we here? The laser display board is showing the audience and the players are getting the clues:

This time it is ANIMAL

An individual?
A human?
Living?
Multi-YES!
In the entertainment industry?
Female?
[Raak] NO, would be the right answer
[GL] NO
Involved in politics?
[GL] In a way, YES.
Seen on TV?
Billy Bragg?
[Chalky] oh YES
[Pro} NO
In charge of a programme?
A presenter on current affairs?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
A comedian?
Anything to do with sport?
[Rosie] NO
[Raak] NO
An actor?
A peer?
[Phil] Not as such, NO
[Raak] NO
Something to do with 'reality TV'?
[GL] Big Brotherism? NO
Someone's side-kick?
[Rosie] Subordinate? NO very much his own man
Jeremy Clarkson?
Host of a TV programme?
[Raak] Wheel Spheel? absolutely NO
[Phil] Still not a TV presenter NO
known primarily for tv work?
Host of tv programme is not necessarily the same as in charge of one, or a news presenter.
[Phil] forget tv as a main issue NO
Involved in "the Arts"?
A scientist?
[Phil] arty farty? NO
[Rosie] Boffin? NO
Part of the financial world?
A doctor?
[Rosie] Wheeler dealer? NO
[cfm] Dr Whom? NO
Is the TV presence of primary importance?
[Rosie] NO not really but it is of some interest
Well-known primarily in the (still) United Kingdom?
[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

[cfm] NO, pretty well known worldwide I'd say

Recap:
male, well known, not especially TV oriented, not an actor or a presenter but (clue) newsworthy.

A tycoon?
[Rosie] NO.
A musician?
[cfm] NO
Journalist?
You forgot to mention 'vague link to politics' in the recap.
[GL] Horrah! YES
Works for the BBC?
Mainly journalises for newspapers?
Piers Morgan?
[Rosie] NO
[Projoy] YES
[GL] Smarmy? NO
Would he be an ex-pat Australian?
[Duj] wizard of Oz? YES now we are cooking with gas!
Clive James?
[Phil] That Oz? NO
Not Rupert sodding Murdoch?
[Rosie] Absolutely NOT! - NO
John Pilger?
[Rosie] Not him either, but stick with the Oz theme. NO
Does this chap have a surname which is also a common given name?
[Duj] Daily Telegraph top 10 boys names? NO
Peter Greste?
Mark Austin?
[Phil] PG? NO
[Chalks] MA NO stick with the Oz theme
Aged over 50?
Leftish tendencies?
Regularly published in a UK Newspaper?
[Phil] > 50? NO
[Rosie] Red under the bed? YESish
[GL] Regular contributor? NO
Given your emphasis on OZ: Was this person involved with the OZ magazines?
Clarification: Oz = Australian. Anyway, the AOTC is under 50
Is this ex-pat Australian now based in the UK?
Richard Flanagan?
[Phil] In the UK? Well, technically, NO (but ponder on that)
[GL] had to Google him NO
Oh, it'll be that moron Julian Assange then, is it?
[Phil] That moron? - YES!

I didn't think that this would have taken so long, never mind, I now hand over the leaky baton to Phil!

Ithangyew, Software! Indeed, I think we could have got there earlier with the right questions. So lets be pressing on with

Animal

Human?
[Software] Human? YES
Alive?
[GL] Alive? NO
Died this century?
Begins with P?
Male?
Western?
Entertainer?
[Raak] 21st century death? NO
[Tuj] P-prefix? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
[pen] Western? YES (unless you mean in the John Wayne sense)
[GL] ENtertainer? NO
Died before 1950?
[GL] Dead pre 1950? YES
Died before 1850?
Political connection?
[GL] Dead pre 1850? NO
[Software] Political connection? YES-ish
A scientist?
[Raak] Scientist? YES-ish, again
Was he an American inventor?
[Dujon] US Inventor? NO
A non-American Inventor?
Just to cover all bases.
Pre WWII?
German?
[GL] Any other inventor? NO
[Software] pre WWII? Yes
[Raak] German? NO
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?
[Software] Sir A C Doyle? NO
Lewis Carroll?
[Rosie] Lewis Carroll? NO
72 hours without a question.
Time for a quick summary: A non-German western man who died between 1850 and 1939. Minor scientific and political connections. Neither an inventor nor an entertainer. Neither Arthur C Doyle nor Lewis Carroll. In addition, neither his Christian name nor surname begins with P.
On reflection I may have understated his scientific side, but would not call him a scientist.
Was he famous for something other than science and politics?
[GL] Famous outside of Science and Politics? YES *audience awakens from a short snooze*
Known as a philosopher?
Was he a neurologist?
[Raak] Known as a philosopher? NO
[Dujon] Do. neurologist? NO
A strong connection to medicine?
[GL] Strong connection to medicine? YES *some applause*
Louis Pasteur?
[Rosie] Pasteur? NON
Writer?
Was he a native English speaker?
(Yes, Americans and Australians count in this category don't be mean)
[gil] Writer? YES (be careful)
[GL] Native Anglophone? YES
Fiction?
[gil] Fiction writer? NO
British cinematic connection?
[Software] British cinema connection? YES, but only rather tenuously
A week since the last summary
So, all the previous summary plus: he has a strong connection to medicine and is a native English speaker who has written non-fiction works, has a rather tenuous connection to British cinema, is a native English speaker, and not Louis Pasteur, a philosopher or a neurologist. Other than "Western" we still don't know what nationality he is!
Canadian?
[GL] Canadian? NO
Scottish?
[GL] Scottish? YES *More Applause*
Dr Livingstone, I presume...
[gil] Correct. And have a bonus point for the question I was hoping to be asked.
A, V, M, a combination of these, or A
Begins with P?
Smörgåsbord?
[tuj] Doesn't begin with P
[Raak] not sm... what you said
A Scottish 'dish'?
[dujon] not a Scottish dish
Edible?
A collective noun?
Edible? While some varieties of this object are edible, the majority are not. It would mislead you to follow that line.
A collective noun? No. A noun? Yes.
Is the animal part a reptile?
[Dujon] The object on the card may be constituted from one or a number of components, one of which might conceivably be reptilian, though it's unlikely. Equally, another meaning of the above-mentioned object may be abstract. You may therefore assume that the object on the card is general rather than specific. Hope that helps. Actually, I once heard a team on the radio deduce this object in 20 questions to which the answers were restricted to Yes or No.
A work of art?
[Phil] Not a work of art, though I suppose someone could construe a particular example of this object as one. But the general run of objects like this have relatively mundane purposes.
An elephant's foot umbrella stand?
A Ball?
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
[Software] .... Almost...
[Gusset Login] You Win! Well done.
Double keypress glitch... Sorry
Next is MINERAL
Metallic?
[gil] Metallic? - No.
Solid?
[Raak] Solid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Liquid?
[Phil] Liquid? - No. (Assuming room temperature)
Would the liquid form of this element be rather nippy?
Part of the atmosphere?
[Dujon] Melting point more than 10 degrees Celsius lower than water? - Yes
[Rosie] In the atmosphere? - Yes, but probably not naturally to any great extent.
One of the rare gases?
[Raak] Rare/Noble gas? - No
CFCs?
Methane?
Flatulo ergo sum.
[Software] CFCs? *A smattering of applause* - No
[Rosie] Methane? - No
ozone?
Carbon dioxide?
[gil] ozone? - No
[Raaak] CO2? - No
helium?
Does it have a smell?
[gil] He? - No.
[Rosie] Smelly? - Yes.
Butane?
Hydrogen sulphide?
[Software] Butane? - No.
[Rosie] Hydrogen sulphide? - No.
Is this an NH compound commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products?
[Dujon] NH? - No. Compound? - No. Commonly used in fertiliser and cleaning products? - Yes and No.
Chlorine?
[gil] Cl? - Yes. Have a baton made of purest chlorine. (Best hold your breath for a bit).
Abstract
Phrase or saying?
An emotion?
Begins with P?
Phrase? No
Emotion? Yes
Begins with P? Yes
Do some people suffer attacks of this for no obvious reason?
Panic?
Anything to do with fear?
Rosie wins. Raak a close second.
(Forgot to mention that Dujon was third. That was more like an attack of mass telepathy than an AVMA round)
Right then, it's ABSTRACT
Justice?
Is this usually a good thing?
(GL) Justice? NO
(gil) To most, YES, but in moderation.
Christmas Cheer?
(GL) Christmas cheer? NO.
Connected with the current season?
An emotion?
(Raak) Advent? NO. (nor any other season)
(Phil) An emotion? NO.
A condition, like peace?
(gil) A condition, such as peace. NO
An attribute, such as speed?
(gil) An attribute? YES, I'd say it is.
A skill?
Is the attribute associated with human beings?
(cfm) A skill? Not as such, but you may need it to bring this about.
(gil) A human attribute? NO.
Existence?
(gil) Existence? Rather less all-encompassing, so NO
(GL) The angular velocity of Resale Price Maintemamce? Sorry, but NO.
... stumped.
A sense?
(Phil) A sense? NO, but you need one of the senses to appreciate this.
A sound?
(Phil) A sound? YES.
The sound of one hand clapping?
Anything to do with steam engines?
(GL) Monochiral applause? NO.
(Phil) Steam engines? NO, although this has been mistakenly attributed to some of them by some writers. Hint I have another great interest.

AOTC is one word, a noun.

Thunder?
The sound of a trombone?
Music?
(Phil) Good guess, but alas WRONG.
(Raak) NO, not the 'bone.
(GL) Music? Well, actually, NO *audience now hyperventilating*
A whistle?
(Phil) A whistle? NO. (nothing to do with steam locos)

"Music" is not the AOTC, but.....

A Fanfare?
(GL) NOT a fanfare.
Muzak?
Melody?
(GL) Muzak? NO.
(gil) Melody? NO.
Jazz?
(Phil) NOT jazz, but heavily related.
Does this noun also describe animal droppings?
Sorry I'm late. The train was delayed.
(Duj) Can't quite see what you're getting at, but NO. molto con cowpat.
Blues?
A particular chord?
(GL) - NO, not the Blues.
(Raak) NO, not as particular.
Improvisation?
Is it a specific piece of music?
(Phil) Not improvisation.
(GL) Not a specific piece of music.
A musical form?
(Raak) A musical form? Strictly speaking NO, but that is in some ways misleading. Call it a feature.
A glissando?
(Phil) A glissandOOOOOoooooo? NO, but you're in the right area.
A trill?
crescendo?
(Raak) NOT a trill.
(gil) NOT a crescendo.

AOTC is one word.

Rhythm?
(Raak) Rhythm? You're getting very close.
Pitch?
Tempo?
(Phil) NOT pitch.
(GL) NOT tempo.
Not all music has the AOTC.
Swing?
(Raak) NOT swing, but swing often has this.
Syncopation?
(Phil) YES! Sin-coper-shone it is. Take this rather confused conductor's baton and proceed strictly alla marcia to The Next Object.
Ooh, a magical music stick
OK, for today's new guess-target, I am going to opt for:

Abstract and Animal

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?
Human?
Santa?
[GL] Rudoplh? NO. Although I wish I had done that now.
[Rosie] Human? YES
[Raak] St Nick? NO
Currently topical?
[Rosie] Topical? NO ... apols for the delay. And happy Christmas
Female?
[GL] Female? YES
Holder of an office?
[Rosie] Office-holder? NO
Alive at this moment?
Fictional?
A witch?
[Rosie] Alive at this moment? NO (although see below)
[GL] Fictional? YES
[Raak] A witch? NO
Did she have a few friends who were small in stature?
Did she once throw a metal bar torn off a street light at a talking lion?
Did she die in the work of fiction for which she is best known?
[Dujon] Friend of little people? NO, at least no more or less than anyone else, on average, I would surmise.
[Raak] Talking-lion-abuser? NO (I'm pretty sure that would have been mentioned, if she had)
[GL] Dead in fiction? NO
Is she best known for appearing in a film?
[GL] Best known as a film role? The answer would be different depending on whom you asked. For me it's a NO
Did she first appear in a book?
Was she created before July 12th 1956?
Raak - first in a book? YES
GL - Pre 12/7/56? YES
A child?
A children's book?
[Rosie] A child? NO
[Raak] Children's book? NO
Is she the title character of the book?
[GL] Title character? NO
A literary character?
[Rosie] Literary? YES
Nineteenth century?
A correction
[Rosie] On reflection "literary" can be taken by some people to mean "from great works of 'Literature'", although I don't know how one would define them. The AotC is a character from fiction, and I have seen her mentioned as a "literary character", although I wouldn't rate the "literature" as "Literature", but some probably would. In all, she's a character from a book or books.
[gil] C19? YES, but not exclusively.
Was the book in English?
Mrs Hudson?
[Raak] In English? YES
[GL] Mrs Hudson? When one has eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is indeed Mrs Hudson. CORRECT. Congratulations!
Hmm... OK, next up is: ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Is the animal connection human?
[Phil] Human? - No.
Is it a characteristic of a particular animal?
A fictional animal?
[Rosie] A characteristic of a particular animal? No, but there is a connection.
[Phil] Fictional animal(s)? Yes
Mammalian?
[Knobbly] Mammals? Not primarily but some.
Do they talk?
Is it the cast of a particular childrens' book?
[Raak] Talking animals? Thankfully, No.
[Dujon] Cast of a particular children's book? No.
Do such animals also exist (or have they) in the real world?
[Raak] Real animals? Yes. (Or at least something similar in most cases)
Native to UK?
[Software] Native to UK? Some might be, others certainly aren't.
The story so far...
Fictional animals of multiple species almost all of which are non-mammalian and in as far as they can be identified, are probably based on real animals but not UK natives (probably). They are not from a children's book and they don't talk. The character of the animals is important but is not likely to be guessed in a "____ as a [Name of animal]" sense.
Taking a backward step: Did they originally appear in a book?
[Dujon] originally from a book? No but apparently books have been made since (including children's books)
Mythical?
[Raak] Mythical? No.
Bunnyish?
[Software] Non-mammalian bunnies? No.
Earth-based?
[Phil] Earth-based? Yes, but not earth-based versions exist.
Unicellular?
[Raak] Mono-celled? No
Clues
I think everyone is as bored of this as I am. Here are some hints to push the game forward to less boring, more finishing moves.

1. The AOTC is two words. One of these describes the non-mammalian animals and the other is an attribute that sets them apart from the majority of their real world counterparts. The whole is the name of a 21st century abstract that was not originally literature but has since spread to various other media.

2. The mammalian animals are a less well known aspect of the AOTC and except with regard to colour, clearly represent an animal that is common in the UK, US and several other places. The primary animals are less easily identified.
Desert Rats?
Cat girls?
[Phil] Dessert Rats? No (Rats are mammals)
[Rak] Cat Girls? No (Cats and Girls are both mammals)
lizards?
[Raak] lizards? No
Fish?
[Raak] Fish No
Birds?
[Raak] Birds? Yes
Angry Birds?
[Raak] Angry Birds? YES Let me fire this avian baton at you.
Next: MINERAL
Manufactured?
Metal?
[Rosie] Manufactured.
[GL] Partly metal.
Can you (or I) lift it?
Can we lift it? No, yes, or no, from various points of view.
Unique?
[GL] Unique.
Does it belong to a single person?
[Tuj] Does not belong to one person.
Is it a pyramid?
[Dujon] Not a pyramid.
In UK?
(amusement in the audience) Not in the UK.
Bigger than a phone box?
[GL] Smaller than a phone box.
Could it be called art?
Smaller than a breadbox?
[Rosie] Not art. [GL] Larger than a breadbox.
Is it assembled bit by discrete bit?
[Dujon] Assembled piece by piece.
A triangulation point at some particular place?
[Rosie] Not a trig point.
Does it have a technical application?
[Rosie] Yes, it has a technical application.
A light?
[Rosie] Not a light.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Yes! Yes, it DOES begin with a P!
Was it manufactured in the twentieth century?
Is it associated with a particular type of geographical feature?
[Kim] Made in the 20th century.
[Rosie] Not associated with a type of geographical feature.
Would it be a product of WWII?
[Dujon] Not a product of WWII.
Oops, my answer to Kim was wrong. On searching out the date of its completion, I find it was not in the 20th century.
A telescope?
[Rosie] Not a telescope.
Philae lander?
And Knobbly scores a hole in one! Have this genuine Rosetta stone. My answer to the weightlifting question is explained by the fact that on Earth, it would weigh about 100 kg, which is more than I've ever bench pressed, but sitting on the comet it's estimated to weigh about 1 gram -- but you can't get there to lift it.
Sorry Tuj, was that where you were heading?
Next up is Vegetable
Is it edible?
Well, someone has to kick it off.
Alive?
Wooden?
Is it unique?
[Knobbly] One letter at a time? No =)
Does it have a practical use?
[Raak]
Hidden textMeasuring weight in g/kg rather than N?
Some catching up to do...
[Dujon] No, not edible (is the least misleading answer, although everything is edible once)
[GL] Yes, alive
[Phil] Yes, wooden *ripple of applause*
[Tuj] Yes, unique (or at least specific)
[Raak] No practical use
Does it live in Sherwood Forest?
Is it unusually old?
Is it a fruit tree?
[Dujon] Not in Sherwood Forest
[Raak] (Back from checking something I probably should have before starting) No, not unusually old
[GL] Not a fruit tree
Is it in the UK?
[Rosie] Yes it is in the UK
A specific sycamore?
[Dujon] Not a sycamore, no
Royal?
Is it a specific tree?
I thought I'd ask in case we were heading in the wrong direction.
Why did the internet eat my post twice?
[Raak] Royal connection, yes indeed
[Dujon] A specific tree, yes
[GL] Yes, an oak!
*Audience beside themselves with mild interest*
Oak Apple Day?
[Software] Not the 29th of May... A custom worthy of revival but not really a specific tree
Is it a son/daughter of a famous oak?
That Royal Oak wherein King Charles II hid from the Roundheads?
[Dujon] Do you know, I can't find out if there was any genetic continuity, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't... I'm going to unilaterally change your question and say yes it is a successor to a famous oak
[Raak] Not that Royal Oak, no
Merlin's Oak?
[Phil] Not Merlin's Oak
One of the Tree Council (UK)'s "Great British Trees" in 2002?
[Phil] Not a Great British Tree
In Kent?
[Phil] Not in Kent
An extant oak tree?
Does the royal aspect of the answer arise from a royal planting the acorn?
[Phil] Yes, an extant oak tree
[Dujon] Hmm... Well, the extant oak tree which is the AOTC was royally planted, but the royal connection was already there. I realise that wasn't a yes/no answer
(Although I rather expect the 'planting' was a photo opp holding a spade next to a sapling rather than heeling in an acorn)
Did the planting happen after the invention of photography?
[GL] Yes, photography had been invented. Can't find a photo though...
It's gone a bit quiet, shall I re-cap?
This Vegetable is a living oak tree, which is not itself unusually old, nor is it one of the Great British Trees. It was royally planted (although a royal connection already existed) and is neither the Royal Oak in which King Charles mk.2 hid, Merlin's Oak or in Kent.
Is it in England?
Being an ex-pat for nigh on sixty years this is becoming something of a guessing game to me. It's time to narrow the focus.
[Dujon] Yes, in jolly old England
Is it north of Watford?
[Raak] Yes, north of Watford.
South of Hadrian's Wall?
Mmm,
That was otiose, reading above.
In Yorkshire?
[Software] Yes, south of Hadrian's damp-course, and not in Yorkshire
North of London (Charing Cross, just in case)
[Phil] Yes, north of London (as implied by being north of Watford)
The Midland Oak?
[Raak] Not the Midland Oak
I'm trying to think of a clue that isn't just giving away the answer...
Selly Oak?
[Phil] Not the Selly Oak
Hidden textTry and find out who the royal is
Is the royal Queen Victoria?
[Raak] Not Queen Vic
Is the royal female?
[Phil] She is a female royal
Queen Anne?
Our current Head of State?
A British royal?
[Raak] Not Queen Anne
[GL] Yes, a British Royal
[Dujon] Yes, the oak you could visit now was planted by our current Head of State but I'm not sure how helpful that is, she must have attended many tree plantings in her time... Keep finding out who the original connection was - I reiterate, she is a female British royal who is neither Queens Victoria nor Anne.
The good old late Queen Mum?
[Software] Not the Queen Mother
QE 1?
[Raak] Yes, Queen Liz the 1th
Is there also a direct connection to QE1's sister Mary?
I think the answer must be what you find if you google "Queen Elizabeth I" and "oak", but I'm going to be away a lot in the next few weeks, so I'll leave it to someone else.
[Dujon] Yes, a connection to Queen Mary also
[Raak] You can find the answer that way, yes... Who will do so?
Queen Elizabeth Oak, at Hatfield House?
Absolutely right... you even chose the right Queen Elizabeth Oak (not the one in Cowdray Park). The current tree was planted by QE2 in 1985 on the site of the original tree, beneath which Elizabeth was sat when told that Queen Mary had died and she was now the queen.
I really didn't think I'd chosen a hard one...
I pass Phil the baton, made of exquisitely turned english oak.
Re - hard ones
[Knobbly] It happens. I remember setting Jeffrey Dahmer a few years ago, and was astonished to find no-one knew who he was. He's a household name in our family. But, thanks to Google, and Raak, I've know heard of Hatfield, its house, and its trees.

Mineral, Animal and Vegetable

Human construct?
A town or city?
Does it begin with P?
[Knobbly] Well lasted =)
[Software] Human Construct? Ummm, no, I don't think so (although I've always been rather vague about what "human construct" means).
[GL] Town or city? NEITHER
[Tuj] Pstarted? NO
Bigger than a K6 telephone box?
Is there just one?
Is either the Animal or Vegetable human?
[Software] Bigger than telephone box? YES
[Raak] Unique? YES
[GL} Human? NO
Is it in Britain?
[Raak] In Britain? YES. most definitely
A building?
[Software] A building? NO, although it includes a building or buildings
Is it a region of some description?
Some form of animal sanctuary?
[Knobbly] a region? NO
[Rosie] an animal sanctuary? NO *much laughter*
A farm, then?
[Rosie] Farm? YES, slightly surprisingly
Chalk Farm?
[GL] Chalk Farm? NO
On reflection, my answer to Is the Animal or Vegetable human? could be YES - with a little chuckle from the audience.
A non-fictional real-life farm? (...which we've heard of?)
[Knobbly] YES-ish. You will have heard of it, I expect, but you may not be aware that it functions as a farm.
A royal estate?
Belonging to the Prince of Wales?
[Dujon] Royal estate? NO *audience wakes up*
[Raak] PoW-owned? NO
Belonging to a religious institution?
[Raak] Religious? NO
Is it a tourist destination?
[Raak] Tourist destination? NO, or if it is I'd be surprised
Is this farm maintained by people detained at Her Majesty's pleasure?
[Dujon] HMP-farm? NO
Is it in England?
[Raak] In England? YES
Does anyone live there except the farmers?
[Raak] Non-farming inhabitants? YES
Privately owned?
[Raak] Privately owned? NO *some applause*
Porton Down?
[Rosie] Porton Down? NO
Is it in a National Park?
[Raak] in a National Park? NO, but it is in an AONB
Stonehenge?
[Software] Stonehenge? NO
A similar monument?
A research establishment?
[Software] Stonehengey-type-monument? NO
[Rosie] Research establishment? NO
Some clues from answers already given
"Royal estate" woke the audience up, but it's not privately owned, and not owned by Prince Charles. It includes buildings and farmland, and is in an Area of Outstanding National Beauty in England.
Longleat?
Ah ... just spotted the 'not privately owned' bit. Scrub that attempt please.
The New Forest?
[Chalky] New Forest? NO (and not Longleat either, of course)
In Cornwall?
[Rosie] Cornwall? NO
Another clue
In the Home Counties
Legoland?
Hampton Court?
Aha! NOT a tourist destination eh?
Um, the estate surrounding Hampton Court containing the piggeries and grouse shooting, where tourists never go?
[Software & Raak] Neither Legoland, nor Hampton Court. Nor the estate surrounding it.
The Chilterns?
[Chalky] The Chilterns? NO *huge applause from audience who thought it was all over, for a moment*
The Chiltern Hundreds?
[Raak] Chiltern 100s? NO *Audience apologises for over-reacting earlier, leading to the thought that "chiltern" is in the answer*
One of the nuclear places near the Kennett valley?.
Is it an SSSI?
[Rosie] One of those nuclear type things? NO
[Chalky] An SSSI? NO, but I think it includes part of one, but I can't be 100% sure.
The Ridgeway?
[Chalky] Ridgeway? NO, but the Ridgeway does pass through it. *Applause, from me for remembering where I've been recently, and from the audience too
Salisbury Plain?
So-called. Actually the very opposite.
Chequers?
... piecing together the clues
Uffington White Horse?
[Rosie] Salisbury Plain? NO
[Software] Uffington White Horse? NO (although I was there the day before I was at the AOTC, in Feb this year)
[Chalky] Chequers? YES - the estate, that is, rather than just the house that lies within. And what splendid timing for me to hand over the leadership of this fine game to you, given that we don't yet know who'll be spending their weekends there for the next five years.
We do now.

Time for an ANIMAL
Human?
A politician?
[Software] Human? NO
[Raak] A politician? NO
Is there just one?
Is it a dog?
A mammal?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Just one? NO
[GL] A dog? NO
[Rosie] A mammal? Yes
[Tuj] Begins with a P? Yes! The latin name.
Is it feline?
[GL] Feline? NO
Orang-utan?
[GL] Orang-utan? NO
Carnivoran?
Generally considered edible in Europe?
Bandicoot?
[Knobbly] Carnivoran? NO
[Phil] edible in Europe? Doubt it .. No
[GL] Bandicoot? NO
Bigger than a toaster?
Chimp?
Regarded as a pest?
Thank you for your patience ..
[Raak] Bigger than a toaster? About the same ... except for the sticky out bits
[GL] Chimp? NO
[Rosie] Regarded as a pest? I don't believe so.
Kept as a pet?
[Raak] Kept as a pet? Not usually but no reason why not ..
Nocturnal?
[Rosie] Nocturnal? YES!
Racoon?
Sloth?
[ GL] Racoon? NO
[Softers] Sloth? No ... but quite a good guess.
A badger?
A pangolin?
[Rosie] Badger? NO
[Raak] Pangolin? NO
Found in the wild in Britain?
Is it arboreal?
[Rosie] ... wild in Britain? NO
[Dujon] Arborial? YES! *audience cheers*
Is it a bird?
Civet?
[Phil] Bird? NO
[GL] Civet? NO
Is its native continent South America?
[Dujon] native of S America? NO
A Primate?
[GL] A primate? NO
Koala?
[GL] Koala? NO. Are they nocturnal?
clue: nocturnal ... arborial... nocturnal ... arborial
Is it native to China?
African Native?
[Knobbly] native to China? NO
[GL] ... or Africa? NO
A chimpanzee?
[Raak] chimpanzee? I refer the honourable gentleman to my reply above ...
nocturnal ... mammal ... nocturnal ... arborial
Hmm... does it fly? - either actually or 'falling in style'
Some lizardy thing like a chameleon?
Phalangeriforme?
[Knobbly] YesYesYesYes! Now just name it.
[Rosie] Not lizardy
[GL] phalangeriforme? Apparently no
I think it's too soon to be my turn again... *I turn my back and feign great interest in that thingummy over there*
Please please release me from this Knobbly! #thoughtitwasgoingtobeaquickie
Pteromyini?
more googling ...
[GL] Pteromyini? Veryvery close - but I believe they are omnivorous.
If somebody doesn't guess this before 0700 BST 27 May 2015 ...
Known for its winged fingers?
[Raak] winged fingers? Yes
... further investigation reveals it can be found in China, although it didn't originate there. (Apologies Knobbly)
answer
It was the Indian Flying Fox (pteropus giganteus) aka Greater Indian Fruit Bat in the Pteropodidae family.
A certain degree of exasperation
Who could possibly have guessed that? In any case all fruit bats are called Eric and come from Guildford.
[Rosie] Not me obviously, though I had a good try at guessing it.

If no one objects, I guess I'll pick up the dropped baton. You have until 10am (BST) 29th May to object
Fire away, GL.
OK. Hopefully a slightly harder one. VEGETABLE
A hard vegetable. Is it a turnip?
[Stevie] A turnip (for the books)? - No. *Someone claps briefly*
Celeriac?
Grown for consumption?
Begins with P?
[Raak] Celeriac? - No
[Rosie] Grown to be eaten? - Yes
[Tuj] Begins with P? - Yes
A parsnip?
[Rosie] Parsnip? - Yes.
Good heavens, it's me. In that case it's

ABSTRACT

An Emotion?
(GL) I am disconsolately sad to tell you that it is not.
Weather-related?
Begins with P?
(Raak) Nothing to do with the weather
(Tuj) Begins with P? NO (but it could do).
Phrase or saying?
Is the answer on the card a single word?
(Sofware) Not a phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Single word? YES (plus the indefinite article).
Would it exist without humans?
(Knobbly) Exist without humans? YES.
Is it an action?
(Tuj) Not an action.
Is the indefinite article "an"?
A phenomenon ?
(GL) The indefinite article? NOT "An".
(Software) A phenomenon? NO, not really.
Would it exist without lifeforms?
(Tuj) Exist without lifeforms? YES, it could.
A sound?
(GL) A sound? YES. *audience erupts*
Is it onomatopoeic?
Is this a useful question?
(Knobbly) Unlike a cat, does not on a mat appear. (Shurely all questions are useful).
Whispering?
to kick start this one again
(Software) NO, not whispering.
Is it geological?
A tree falling in the forest?
(Knobbly) Geological? NO.
(Softers) The unseen and unheard tree? NO.

In a desperate bid to do something about the terrifying speed of this one I could mention that the AOTC is connected with an interest of mine, but not steam locos.

Lost for words
Not weather or locos? What does that leave, then? Sex? Beer?
Flattered
(Software) We have met, haven't we?
The sound made by the opening of a can of London Pride?
Oh, yes.
<mode="Lady Bracknell"> A CAN? </mode>. Not the sound suggested.
Oh, all right - a bottle then?
(Software) Not a bottle. Nothing to do with booze.
Astronomy related?
Just popping by.
(Boolbar) Stargazing? NO.
Is it associated with music?
(Robin) Music? YESSSSS! *audience, previously comatose, now resembles a football crowd whose side has just scored.*
A Flat?
(GL) Not A flat, not G sharp either.
F Natural?
(GL) Not F. (Not a Key).
A wind chime?
(Softers) NO, not a wind chime.
a rhythm?
(Knobbly) NO - not a rhythm. A different aspect of music.
If I may sum up, some
So, an aspect of music which, moreover, would exist without life-forms... Beginning with a consonant which isn't P (but confusingly could be)
Molto adagio
(Knobbly) Orl krekt.
The blistering pace of this one
It's a musical term, found also in ordinary speech.
Is the AOTC an italian term?
Is there anybody else out there?
(Knobbly) Italian? YES, it certainly is.
Piano?
(Softers) Piano? NO.
Fortisomo?
(Softers) ff? NO, but you're getting there.
Allegro?
Not the Leyalnd version - oh, no.
(Softers) Allegro? NO. The AOTC is not an adjective.
Presto?
(Softers) Even faster? NO. Presto is an adjective. I dunno - man of your calibre.
Intermezzo?
(Knobbly) Not an intermezzo. The AOTC is usually abbreviated.
Ah, in that case is the abbreviation 'cresc.'?
YAY, it be that. Say it again, louder. KNOBBLY is the winner. Take this conductor's baton and whack it on the music stand louder and louder until everyone else has woken up.
Actually I was trying not to win by not giving the AOTC, but since you've given me this baton I may as well wave it about a bit...
OK, this is hopefully an easy MINERAL.
Metal?
(Rosie) Not a metal
A manufactured object?
Solid?
(Rosie) Not manufactured
(GL) Solid, YES.
Something dug up from the earth?
What's mined is yours...
(Rosie) No, not dug up.
Found lying around?
(Software) Lying around? I'm going to go with no... Although I'm not sure how helpful or right that is
Does it come from space?
Is it unique?
(Raak) Extra-terrestrial? No
(Gussy[if I may call you that]) The one-and-only? YES (or at least, the AOTC is specific)
A lake?
A geographical feature?
(Rosie) No, not a lake but...
(Software) YES, a geographical feature
Bigger than the Isle of Wight?
Smaller than the Isle of Wight?
An area of sea-water?
Ayres Rock?
(Raak & GL) Smaller than IoW in area, which was surprisingly hard to find out. Strangely couldn't find it anywhere and had to work it out myself.
(Rosie) Not sea-water
(Software) Not Ayer's Rock
In the Northern hemisphere?
(Tuj) Not Northern hemisphere, no
Zambesi Falls?
A Mountain?
[Rosie] I don't believe the falls or an area of sea water would count as solid.
(Rosie) Zambezi Falls? No
(GL) YES, a mountain *applause*
Higher than 20,000 ft (6096 m)?
Everest?
(Rosie) Not higher than 20,000 ft
(GL)Not Everest
Shorter than 1,000 ft?
Kilimanjaro?
Lurkers R Us
(GL) Not shorter than 1,000ft
(CdM) Not Kilimanjaro
In Africa?
(Rosie) Not African
Vinson Massif?
A volcano?
(GL)Vinson Massif- Is he? I mean, no
(Rosie) A volcano? YES. *Audience erupts...*
Near the equator?
Etna?
(Rosie) Not near the equator (for any sensible value of 'near')
(Software) Not Etna
Calbuco, Chile?
(Rosie) Not Calbuco
Erupted in the last 100 years?
(Raak) YES, erupted in last 100 years
Puyehue-Cordón Caulle?
(GL) Puy-what-you-said - no
On a small island?
(Rosie) I wouldn't call it a small island, no.
Mt Erebus?
(Rosie) Not Mt Erebus
Erupted in 1956?
(Raak) 1956 eruption? Not as far as I can find out
In Antarctica?
(Rosie) Not in Antarctica
in the Philippines?
(CdM) Not in the Philippines neither
All right. How about Indonesia?
(CdM) No, but keep going...
One week later round up...
So, it's a volcano in the Southern hemisphere, between 1,000 and 20,000 ft high which isn't near the equator, in Antarctica, the Phillipines or Indonesia. It has erupted in the last 100 years, but not in 1956. It also isn't Mt Erebus or Puyehue-Cordón Caulle...
Did it erupt this century?
Did it cause much death and destruction?
(GL) Erupted this century? YES. (Rosie) Much death and destruction? I'm not sure what the standardised scale of death and destruction is, but I would say no.
In Chile?
(Rosie) Not in Chile.
Caribbean?
(SW) Not Caribbean.
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean on an island that isn't particularly small?
(CdM) On a not-small island in the Pacific? YES.
I wonder if anyone will disagree with any of my previous answers when the answer is reached?
Mt Ruapehu? Or failing that, another Kiwi volcano like Tongarairo or White Island?
(Pablo) Mt Ruapehu? Why, YES. *Wild applause*
Let us rub noses ... Thank you.
Passing the baton to Pablo.
Pablo seems to have buggered orff.
He was in the limerick game yesterday...
I think he's forgotten about this. Maybe a gentle nudge would be in order.
We're waiting for you
Still waiting
I gave him a gentle oblique nudge then a less gentle more direct one. What does one do, within the bounds of propriety and etiquette? FIIK.
Runner-up?
I think CdM was coming up on the answer... maybe he (?) would like to take over?
Impatience
(knobbly) Somebody ought to. I can't understand why Pablo seems to have gone on the blink. Anybody got his phone number?
well...
I'm not convinced that Pablo is the Pablo we think it is. Or someone (e.g. Gusset Login) typed 'Pablo' by accident instead of their own name, for reasons unknown.
It wasn't me
But, if it gets the game running again, I'd happily pick up the baton if asked.
Fine by me...
(GL) I'm happy for you to pick up the dropped baton, if there are no objections from the floor - it is nearly a month since my round was won...
No objections from this bit of old linoleum so go ahead, GL.
Very well. A new one and it's an ANIMAL
Is it one unique animal?
[Phil] Unique animal? - Yes.
A human?
[Rosie] Human? - Yes.
Living?
British, be damned?
In the news?
[blamelewis] Living? - Yes.
[Software] British? - Yes.
[Rosie] In the news? - Sometimes
Royal connections?
[Software] Royal Connections? - They are not royal.
A performer of sorts?
[Knobbly] Performer of sorts? - Not as such
Politician?
[Chalky] In Politics? - Yes
Jeremy Corbyn?
[Software] The Jez Meister? - No
Male?
[Phil] Male? - Yes
Any legal connections?
[Rosie] Legal connections? - Well, he is in politics. So, of course, there are connections to the law.
Tory?
[Software] A blue-ribboner? - Yes
A Cabinet member?
Minister of Cockney Rhyming Slang - Jeremy Hunt?
[Rosie] Cabinet member? - Yes
[Software] Total Hunt? - No
George Osborne?
As he insists on calling himself.
[Rosie] George "Dramatic Pose" Osborne? - No
IDS?
[Software] Irritable Duncan Syndrome? - No
Michael Gove?
(the MP that keeps on goving)
Sajid Javid?
working through ...
[Phil] Govey? - No
[Software] Javid? - No
Hint: Don't work through, work up.
Not Dave? (Cameron)
[Rosie] Not Dave? - No it's not Not Dave. It is Dave. I don't whether that should count as a yes or a no.
David Mundell?
A fush oo' a wa'er.
Getting a little impatient.
I have internets again! Sorry for the silence.

[Rosie] David Mundell - No, as I said, it's the Dave you guessed it wasn't.
David Cameron?
Software DC? - Yes
Well I am blowed, who'd have thought, so obvious really Eton and all that. Now let me think .....

Ah, yes!

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.

Animals human?
i.e. Not Millwall
[Rosie] people? - YES.
To do with politics?
[Raak] political? probably the right answer is NO
Is the mineral connection water?
Is the vegetable connection wood?
[Rosie] water? - NO * much chuckling in the audience *
[Phil] wood? - NO - well,not directly but it may figure somewhere, not sure that this is actually helpful
To do with mineral resources?
Does it begin with P?
[Raak] ores? - NO
[Tuj] P? - YES one of the three words on the card does. (including the definite article)
Is a liquid involved?
A desert?
[Phil] Liquid? - YES. * chuckling in audience *
[Rosie] Desert? - NO
The Pacific Ocean?
Is it fit for human consumption?
Is the liquid an organic compound?
[GL] Pacific? - NO
[Phil] Drinkable? - YES
[Rosie] Organic? - YES
The petroleum industry?
Is alcohol involved?
[Rosie] Gas? - NO is probably the correct answer but I suppose it could be.
[Phil] Booze? YES * spattering of claps from the audience *
A type of beer?
[Phil] A variety of the brewing process? - NO but certainly involved in the ATOC
A bottle of champagne?
[Rosie] Bubbly? - NO but could certainly be involved in the ATOC
Is the AOTC associated with a particular place?
[Tuj] Localle? - NO

* HINT: the ATOC has 3 words including the definite article *

Is the word that starts with P pub?
[Knobbly] P = Pub? - NO * a smattering of clapping from the audience *
Is the 'p' word = Punch?
[Chalky (welcome back)] P = Punch? - NO * more clapping in the audience *
A type of wine?
[Phil] Cru? - NO * a little more clapping in the audience *

Reprise:
ATOC 3 words including the definite article;
One begins with 'P';
Alcohol of some sort involved.

Does the word "party" appear on the card?
Is it seasonal?
[CdM] Party - YES! * Audience goes wild with applause *
[GL] Seasonal - YES! * Audience now agog with expectation *
The Easter Party?
[GL] Easter? (* wonders why Easter? *) - NO * clapping from audience *
The Christmas Party?
[Phil] Xmas? - NO * audience wild with anticipation! *
The Summer Party?
Keep going, we'll find the right season soon.
[GL] Summer? you seem to have a penchant for the warmer weather - * audience wild with anticipation *
The Dinner Party?
[Phil] Dinner? - NO * audience still on the edge of their seats *
The Hogmanay Party?
[GL] Jock do? - NO * audience cannot believe that nobody has got it yet! *

HINT: There are lots this time of year

I shall be on the plane to the USA in the morning so may not get back online for a day or two.
The Hanukkah Party?
Christmas party has already gone and I'm struggling to think of any other sort that happens at this time of year.
The Office Party?
Ding!
Phil has it. * Hands over the photocopied bum to Phil *
When I was self-employed, the office party was a disaster. I got off with myself and didn't speak to myself for the whole of January. I tried to phone in sick the next morning, but it was engaged every time.

So, onwards and outwards. Your next challenge is

Animal

Human?
Alive?
Male?
Apols for delay
[Software] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? NO
[Rosie] Male? YES
Dead While Male?
Sorry, that was meant to be "Dead White Male?"
Lassie?
[Raak] Are you saying that white people aren't human?
[Raak] Dead White Male? YNY (taking white strictly as a colour rather than race, as humans are not involved)
[GL] Lassie? NO
Fictional?
A specific individual?
Oops, missed that the answer to human was no.
[Rosie] Fictional? NO
[Raak] An individual? YES
a dead male dog?
[Chalky] Dead male dog? NO
Mao Tse Tung?
Died since the start of the 20th century?
The lion shot by that American dentist?
Died in 2015?
Does it begin with P?
HNY!
[Software] Mao Tse Tung? NO, I think he was human wasn't he?
[Raak] died post 1899? NO
[Rosie] Cecil the dentally-deceased Lion? NO
[GL] died in 2015? NO (see also two lines above)
[TUJ] P-something? NO, but HNY to you too :)
Bucephalus?
The only named pre-XX animal that comes to mind.
[Raak] Bucephalus? NO, not that long ago
The last dodo?
[Tuj] Last dodo? NO
a dead male sea creature?
Post AD 1?
[Chalky] DM sea creature? NO
[Software] Post AD 1? YES
Was it a bear?
Was it a bird?
[Raak] Bear? NO
[Chalky] Bird? NO
[Anyone who cares] It wasn't Superman either :-)
Was it a mammal?
Phil
[Chalky wc] A Mammal? YES

To summarise: A specific non-fictional individual male mammal that died between 1 AD and 1899 AD. It's not a human, a dog, a bird, a bear or a sea creature, and doesn't begin with P.

Did it spend any part of its life in the UK (including territorial waters)?
Was it a horse?
[Raak] UK-resident at some point? YES *some applause*
[Tuj] A horse? NO
Did it live in a zoo?
[Knobbly] Zoo-resident? YES, but not exclusively *more applause*
Trim - the cat who sort of discovered Australia?
Primate?
[Chalky] Trim the cat? NO
[Software] Primate? NO
A domesticated zebra?
Was it killed by a human?
[Raak] Zebra? NO
[Rosie] Killed by a human? YES (or human action, at least)
Wild animal?
[Software] Wild? Originally, YES.
Was it larger than a standard sized Fridge-Freezer?
Was it the last individual of its species?
[Chalky] bigger than a fridge freezer? YES *much applause*
[Knobbly] last of its kind? NO
Ooh, was it an elephant?
Killed by a train?
[Tuj] An elephant? YES *much applause*
[GL] Killed by a train? YES *even more applause
Then it must be Jumbo?
[Chalky] Jumbo the Elephant? YES

One of my favourite animals, simply because the word "jumbo" didn't exist prior to his naming. cf. Little Tich

Here, Chalky, take this pre-1947 ivory baton.

Ooh thanks Phil. Nice one and kudos to Tuj and GL for paving the way.
The next one is ABSTRACT with significant ANIMAL connections
Is it an emotion?
Aha! So there *is* life out there ..
[Rosie] An emotion? NO
Begins with P?
A human concept?
A fictional person?
Art?
[Tuj] Begins with a P? NO ... but ripple of applause can be detected
[Software] A human concept? YES
[GL] A fictional person? YES
[Dujon] Art? What is Art?
Character in a novel?
[Software] Character in a novel? YES *audience erupts into cheers*
Tarzan?
[Software] Tarzan? NO
Kim?
Is the animal connection a dog?
[Software] Kim? NO
[Raak] Animal connection a dog? NO
Does the character have a figurative meaning? e.g. Scrooge
[Rosie] Figurative meaning? NO
Does it originate in the British Isles?
Human?
[penelope] Originate in British Isles ? YES
[GL] Human? YES
Was the novel written after 1900?
Does the novel title begin with P?
[Rosie] After 1900? YES
[CdM] P word in title? YES
*audience senses a finish and cheers accordingly*
Is anyone willing to guess the obvious, thereby putting themself in the chair for the next puzzler?
Sure. What is it?
Is the character male?
Ronny Heaslop
That's got to be right. Because, seriously, how many non-figurative characters in post-1900 British novels with a word in the title that begins with P can there be?
... giving it all away
[GL] It's a girl
[Tuj] Male? NO
[CdM] Ronnie Heaslop? NO. And the play/novel has two P words.
... and it's linked to Phil's previous solution.
[Chalky] Oh, that's just darling.
Remind me never to play this game again ...
Aw, Chalks, don't be upset.
Frankly this one has stumped me.
Peter Pan?
(Chalky) Memo: Never play this game again.
[Chalky] I hope that comment made sense! If my guess is wrong, it probably just seemed weird (or worse, obnoxious).
with a woo and a hoo
A WINNER AT LAST! Wendy from Peter Pan it is!
Well played Rosie and CdM :)
Here - argue over this wand-shaped baton I nicked from Tinkerbell.
(Chalky) You beast.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

An Emotion?
Is there but a single word on the card?
[Chalky] I think when you said it was obvious, we all backed off presuming it must be obvious to somebody, somebody else...
(GL) Not an emotion.
(Tuj) A single word plus the indefinite article.
A silent P, obviously
Does the indefinite article begin with P?
(CdM) Of course - 's a particle innit.
Is it a human invention?
An expression?
Well done you old bu**er
(Tuj) NO, not a human invention.
(Softers) Essentially NO, but can be used figuratively, just about.
A ghost?
(Software) Not a ghost.
Is it visible?
There's not much to go on so far...
Is it fictional?
(Knobbly) Not visible, though its effects may well be.
(Raak) Not fictional.

I should add, perhaps, that the AOTC has a kind of material connection and that this would normally be thought of as Mineral.

A type of air movement?
(Dujon) Air movement? NO, but it could be said there's a connection, stretching a point.
An unfortunate brush?
(Software) NO, not an unfortunate brush.
Any political connection?
(Software) NO political connection whatever.
Has it always existed as an idea?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
(Tuj) I would say YES.
(Chalky) Could be. Could be any size. Its dimensions in its physical manifestation are irrelevant.
An emotion?
(Software) NO, not an emotion
OK, is it audible?
At last a customer
(Knobbly) Audible? NO, most definitely not.
Iron will?
(Softers) Ferrous (or ferric) determination? NO. It's not a human quality.
An ill wind?
Oh, dear. I am struggling with this.
(Softers) NO, by definition impossible.
Rock solid?
Any chance of a clue?
(Software) Rock solid? NO, for the same reason as before. This is not difficult; in fact there's nothing to it, really.
A vacuum?
(Raak) YES! A total absence of material entities. Now give us something easy FFS.
Vegetable and Mineral, with Abstract connections
Vegetable wood?
Yes, the vegetable is wood.
Is this some kind of machine or device?
Abstract religious?
[Rosie] Not really a machine or device.
[Dujon] Not religious.
Unique?
Is the AOTC the title of some work?
Not the title of a work.
Is the mineral metal?
Yes, the mineral is metal.
Unique?
Not unique.
Does it begin with P?
Does not begin with a P.
Found in the house?
Not typically. That is, the typical house would not contain any of these, and the typical one of these would not be in a house.
Would I be in danger of cutting myself on it?
You cannot cut yourself on one.
Mass produced?
Um...there are rather a lot of these, but I can't find any information about whether they are made on an automated production line.
Used in a sport or game?
Not used in a sport or game.
Do they tend to be found in particular areas of the world?
A fixture?
Not in particular areas of the world.
Not a fixture.
A garden shed?
Not a garden shed. I'd expect those to be fixtures, although I suppose you could put wheels on one and tow it on holiday with you.
Can these things be lifted by one man?
Yes, one man can lift one of these.
That is, any reasonably fit man, not one particular Schwarzenegger.
A barrel?
*cheering* Yes, a barrel. But can you be more specific? Bear in mind the abstract connection.
A Barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs.
A beer barrel
Specifically, real ale :)
Not necessarily a beer barrel.
A firkin?
Not a firkin.
A biscuit barrel?
Not a biscuit barrel.
Hint: It's not about what's in it ? quite the opposite!
The "?" was supposed to be a "?".
Er, not quite. It was supposed to be a "—". Let's see if that gets through.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel?
Scraping etc.? No, but that's more in the right direction.
The first word is the indefinite article.
A barrel organ?
Perhaps penelope could rustle a Dutch one up.
Not a barrel organ.
Do we have a stuck fermentation of ideas? A sort of barrel, that features in a figurative expression or saying.
A sort of barrel that has fish in it that can be easily shot
OK, that's probably not right.
There's a surprisingly lage number of figurative expressions involving barrels. Fish, for the shooting of, is not the one.
"lage": a synonym for "several", used of a severality that due to attentional bias one experiences as surprisingly larger than 1.
A barrel of laughs?
Not a barrel of laughs. Hint: nor a barrel of anything else!
An empty barrel?
YES! *the crowd's applause is drowned out by a tap on the side of one*
Oh, dear. Being a smartar*e I am now lumbered with the spile-shaped batton.
Let me think. Ah, yes! abstract with strong animal, vegetable and mineral connections.
The sound made by a tree falling in the forest when no-one is present to hear it?
[Raak] NO - abstract but not metaphysical
A fictional animal?
An organisation?
A stock phrase or saying?
[GL] Fictional? - NO
[Rosie] Organization? - YES
[Raak] Phrase or Saying? - NO
Created after 1900?
A governmental organisation?
Based in Europe?
Sorry for delay, have been away.
[Rosie] After 1900? - YES
[Raak] Big Brother? - NO
[GL] European? - YES
A scientific organisation?
[Raak] Scientific? - NO * audience chuckles *
A cult?
An NGO?
[Raak] cult? - NO * some guffawing in the audience * (well, some might say it is)
[Bismarck] NGO? - Mmmm. Tricky, probably NO
The National Trust?
Is it classed as a charity /not-for-profit?
A religion?
[Rosie] NT? - NO
[Bismarck] Charitable? - NO * more audience chuckling *
[Phil] Godbothering? - NO * further tittering *
Do they sponsor a football team?
Does it have its own URL?
The Mafia?
[Bismarck] Sponsorship? - NO
[Raak] URL? Why, YES
[Rosie] Those nice Sicilian gentlemen? - NO
An organised religion, then?
I'm taking a clue from the audience here...
Recapitulons, mes amis...
Post-1900 European company, with pretensions among supporters to be quasi-religious and quasi-scientific, yet not an NGO and not important enough to sponsor the footie. Neither the Mafia, nor their cousins the NT. Links to animal, vegetable and mineral. Hmmmm.
Are they able to ban people from the exercise of their professions?
[Knobbly] Godbothering with form? - NO * Phil ruled that out *
[Bismarck] - Big Stick? - NO
Does it begin with P?
...just to show gratitude for Bismarck's efforts by making a considered contribution ;)
The East India Company?
Do ships enter into this at all?
Eton?
[Tuj] P-ish? - NO (not one to be seen in the AOTC)
[Raak] Bubble? - NO (the right number of words, though)
[Bismarck] - Harbourish? - NO
[Rosie] The origin of our present governing classes? - NO
Is this a real-life organisation, or one that exists only on a screen?
[Bismarck] Real or imagery? - er, YES. * sporadic clapping from audience *
Logical NOR should have been used in previous question. Ahem. Is this an imaginary company?
[Bismarck] Virtual? - NO

Hint: The AOTC has 4 words one being the definite article it exists on screen.

The League of Gentlemen?
Never watched it; only vaguely even heard of it; but it popped into my head after reading over the game so I thought I'd go for an audacious lurker's victory.
[CdM] LOG? - NO
The Great Western Railway?
Is the third word "of"?
[Rosie] God's Wonderful Railway? - sadly, NO
[Raak] of-ly? NO

* audience shuffling *

Is this organisation viewed favourably by the British population?
[Rosie] Favourable to the Brits - mmmm, NO (not lately, anyway)
The European Court of Justice?
[Rosie] ECoJ? - NO * sporadic clapping from audience *
The Arsenal?
[Bimarck] The Gunners? - NO. * audience getting restless *
A political party?
Ah... do I hear a few bars of the prelude to Charpentier's Te Deum?
The European Court of Human Rights?
Well, it IS down the road from me...
[Bismarck] Party? - NO
[nights] ECHR? - NO * a few random claps from the audience *
Was my guess a bit too subtle? Is it the European Broadcasting Union?
[Knobbly] EBU? - NO * audience wakes up with enthusiastic clapping *
Is this a European attempt to celebrate the diversity of culture?
[Bismarck] multicultural? - YES! * audience getting excited *
Musical culture?
[Bismarck] music? - YES! * audience wild with anticipation *
The Eurovision Song Contest?
[Rosie] Tat for the masses? - YES!!!! at last.

Hands over the tacky microphone-shaped baton to Rosie

I could object that the Eurovision Song Contest is not an organisation (whereas the EBU is which is why I went for that), but I wouldn't want to be accused of taking this too seriously.
I also don't want the baton at the moment.
As you were...
Blast! beaten to it. Rosie, congratulations. May your all dihydrogen oxide be changed to dihydrogen dioxide for twenty milliseconds.
Peroxide blonde
(Bismarck) Now you see it, now you don't.
And the next object is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Human animal?
(Softers) Human? Humans are involved but essentially NO.
Is it green?
Does it begin with P?
Does it make a noise?
Can I live without it?
Sorry for the delay
(Bismarck) NO, not green.
(Tuj) P? Not in any language I can think of.
(Knobbly) A noise? YES, it must have done.
(Boolbar) Essential for life? NO.
The Llangollen Amateur Vivisectionists' Society! It just came to me in a flash.
(Bismarck) Dee-scission? I'm afraid not.
Fictional?
Fictional?
Oops.
Fictional?
The Big Bang?
Going for an early attempt...
Is it a human invention?
(Raak + Gusset Login) NO, not fictional.
(Knobbly) NO, not the Big Bang.
(Tuj) YES, human, but I wouldn't call it an invention.
A philosophical concept?
(Raak) NO, not philosophical, not a concept.
Does it still exist?
(Bismarck) Still exist? NO.
Associated with a particular geographical locale?
Also, could you clarify an earlier answer? When Boolbar asked "Can I live without it?", was your answer of "NO" directed to that question or your contrarily-rephrased "Essential for life?"?
(Tuj) Point taken. The rephrasing had got a bit out of hand. The answer to "Can I live without it?" is YES. As for your actual question, the answer is YES, followed by *audience animation*.
Todo with the planet taken as a whole?
Animal bit-were they raised for food?
(Raak) NO, not to do with the whole planet.
(Bismarck) For food? YES.
May not be able to have another guess for a while, so I'll try bovine spongiform encephalitis.
Did it exist for a specific period of time?
[Rosie] An animated audience, eh? At least no people were harmed in the making of assistance-giving reactions =)
(Bismarck) Mad cow? Now who am I thinking of? I'm afraid the answer is NO.
(Tuj) YES. *even more audience animation*
Powdered egg?
Some sort of public event?
(Softers) Powdered egg? Good stuff - it wasn't even on the ration IIRC. But NOT the answer.
(Raak) A public event? Certainly not intended as such though most of the public would be aware of it.
Cheese rolling?
Cheese rolling? Er, NO.
Did it happen in the UK?
(Bismarck) In the UK? Essentially NO, though I suspect some elements of it did.
A global event?
(Softers) NO, not global
was the specific geographic locale in Europe?
(Bismarck) In Europe? Well, YES, sort of.
Confusticated... has a 'specific' locale (++audience animation) 'sort of' in the European continent and 'sort of not' in the UK. Ireland?
Deconfustificationment
(Bismarck) Specific locale, YES. European continent? NO, but a strict geographer may disagree. Ireland? NO. If I say much more I may as well tell you the answer.
a political event?
Thanks, Rosie. Let's try for the timing - did this happen within your living memory?
(Raak) Political? YES.
(Bismarck) Within my living memory? YES.
an event relating to the EU?
(Raak) NO, not related to the EU.
Did it happen in the previous century?
Suez crisis?
in 1989?
(Bismarck) 20th century? YES.
(Software) NO, not the Suez crisis.
(Raak) In 1989? NO.
1970's?
(Bismarck) 1970's? Partly, YES.
Were fish involved?
(Bismarck) Fish? YES, they were indeed.
Did Iceland win at least 3-0?
(Bismarck) YES. That, I recall, was the score.
"The Phantom Menace", the cut that left the fish-slapping dance scene in?
Stop taking the piss
(Bismarck) NO, it wasn't that one.
The library, you say?
all right, all right... it's the Cod Wars.
It is, of course, the COD WARS. Well done. Take this giant baton-shaped fish finger and proceed to the next object.
Well, nothing for it now (gulp)...
The next object is MINERAL with a side order of location, as there may be multiple instances.
man-made?
[Raak] YES.
Metal?
[Raak] NO, not so as you'd notice
Does it begin with P?
fffrrttt
Mainly stone?
[Tuj] NO, not in any language I am aware of oblig.
[Raak] YES
On Earth?
[Raak] Terrestrial? YES.
Habitable?
[Tuj] NO.
underground?
In Europe?
[Raak] buried? NO
[Tuj] EU-ish? YES
Arc de Triomphe?
[Software] Etoile? NO.
Is it in an urban area?
[Rosie] Downtown? YES.
A statue?
A tourist attraction?
[Rosie] YES
[Raak] YES
Oh and in general their is the odd approving noise from the audience
Nelson's Column?
[Raak] YES - audience cheering but then subsiding as that's the main dish, but the "side order" needs to be found too.
The actual statue of Nelson?
[Raak] Trafalgar Square? NO, that would be too easy... Some applause from the right wing of the audience.
The Fourth Plinth?
^[Software] NO.
The Trafalgar Square lions?
[Knobbly] Felines? NO.
Hint - Nelson was quite well regarded in many placed.
In Menorca?
Is it in London?
[Software] Balearics? NO.
[Raak] City? NO.
So, the AOTC isn't in London, but the audience cheered Nelson's column...
Is it in Scotland?
[Boolbar] North o' the border? NO. A few claps from the audience, though.
Geordieland?
[Software] Tyne? NO
Ireland?
[Gusset] YES. Audience sensation, as they say.
Then it is surely Nelson's Pillar.
Audience goes wild for [Raak] Nelson's pillar is correct! Well done sir. Please take this green pillar-shaped baton and proceed with the next round.
Remind me never to run a relay with Raak, won't you :-)
Oh, ah. Um. The next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Snoopy's friend Woodstock?
Not Woodstock.
A wildlife programme?
Does it begin with P?
[Rosie] Not a wildlife programme.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P. (slight oohing sounds from audience)
Is the animal non-human?
(Some laughter) Not non-human.
Is the non-non-human not male?
Is the non-non-human principally famous for literary appearances?
[B] Might or might not be male.
[G] Not literary appearances, no.
Does the Abstract refer to the title or role of the non-non-human of indeterminate sex?
Be there a sporting connection?
[R] (polite applause) Yes, the Abstract has to do with the title or role (but there is more to the Abstractness than that).
[T] No sporting connection.
Was this known of in the year 1900?
Was this known of in the year 1900? One could take different interpretations, about which I can imagine philosophers of language debating endlessly. I shall interpret the words on the card as implying the answer: Yes.
Would you expect to find this mentioned in a book of World Records?
[Tuj] Would not be mentioned in a book of World Records.
Is/Was the person an inventor?
An inventor? Unlikely, I think.
Is the Animal one specific example of its kind?
[Bismarck] Not a specific example of its kind.
Is this an unknown person?
[Dujon] Yes, an unknown person. Although not totally.
Something like The Bogeyman?
[Rosie] (laughter!) Many would say there's a strong possibility of this thing being very like The Bogeyman.
In the UK, is there only one of this?
[Rosie] In the UK, there is none of this.
The yeti?
[Software] Not the yeti.
Is this anything to do with politics?
[Rosie] (applause!) It is to do with politics.
To do with the EU?
[Rosie] Not the EU.
The leader of the first communal state?
[Dujon] Not sure what a communal state is, but no.
Is this an American thing?
(Applause!) It is an American thing.
Are eagles involved?
No eagles are involved.
Is it currently in the news?
Yes, it is currently in the news.
The Republican Party campaign for the Presidency?
A lame duck, as in "Obama is a lame duck president?"
[Rosie] (more applause!) Very close, but not the answer.
[Bismarck] Absolutely not a lame duck.
The American Presidential race?
[Bismarck] (the audience enthusiastically cheer on the runners) You are getting closer, but that is not yet the answer.
Hillary Clinton's campaign to become President?
[Rosie] (more cheering) Not Hillary Clinton's campaign either.
The US election?
[Software] (still cheering, you're thinking on the right lines) Not the US election.
You only have a few days to get this.
I'm off on holiday to Switzerland this Wednesday.
Do any dead people come into this?
[Bismarck] Dead people cannot come into this.
Going once...
The Canadian election?
Televised debates?
Not the Canadian election, or televised debates.
Hint: In a sense, this thing does not exist, but it is not fictional. For a period of time it does exist, and afterwards it again doesn't exist.
Going twice...
The thing does not exist right now, but it will in the near future, for a while.
Election promises?
Not election promises, but getting closer. It definitely has something to do with an election.
The guillotine will fall before midnight today.
The wall between the US and Mexico, as suggested by one of the candidates?
I've no time to take over... but I suspect the words "elect" and "president" might be needed.
[B] Not the wall.
[A] One of those words is on the card!
Another hint
The word "next" is also on the card.
And the winner is...
The first person to say "The next president of the United States."
Is it me?
Assuming Raak is now away, I presume to draw a line
Does that make it my go? Bugger... I mean goldarn it
OK, this is mineral. Play on!
Metallic?
Oily?
In a state that was fashioned by humans?
Is there only one?
[S] Not metal. (There may be some metallic atoms knocking around for aught I know or care.)
[R] Not oleaginous.
[Bi] Man-made, yes.
[Bo] There is only one of the AOTC, although there are other similar... things.
Stone?
Mount Rushmore?
Stone Henge?
Is it in the USA?
[R] Yes, stone. Almost entirely I should think.
[B] (A solitary applau is hurriedly shushed) No, not Mt Rushmore
[GL] It is not a henge of stone
[B] Not in 'Murica (U S of)
Is it a mountain?
Cleopatra's needle?
Is it a statue?
Does it begin with P?
[D] Hmm... Well, it wasn't when I thought of it, but actually a mountain is called this too.
[S] It is no part of Cleopatra's sewing kit
[B] Not a statue
[T] It literally doesn't begin with P
Does it exist today?
Is it in Africa?
[Bi] Still there, yes, but not in Africa.
Petra?
The parthenon?
Is it a monument?
Is it a castle?
Is it inside a building?
[GL & S] Not Petra, the Parthenon or anywhere else beginning with P.
[R] It is a monument in the sense of 'site of historical importance', but not in the sense of 'structure erected to commemorate an event or person'.
[Bi] Not a castle by any sensible definition.
[Boo] Not found in a buiding.
Is it in England?
Is it in Scotland?
[Bi] Not in jolly old England.
[Boo] Not in bonny Scotland.
In Europe?
[R] Not in Europe neither. Where's left that isn't Europe, Africa or the USA?
Is it in Australasia?
It might be South America. is it?
Is it in Canada?
Is it on the Moon?
Was it man-made within the last 1000 years?
[Bi] It sure is in South America..
[GL & R] See above.
[Bo] Last 1,000 years, yes.
Is it in Brazil?
Macchu Picchu?
[Bo] Not Brazil.
[Bi] Indeed yes, therefore *Wild applause for Bismarck*
I'd better get back on the campaign trail...
Oh. Oh! And I thought that had no chance because of the 'P' in Picchu, as perennially suggested by Tuj. But I shall humbly take it upon myself to climb down this peak and devise another riddle. But first, this line:

Right, time for something Animal

Human?
Does it have two eyes?
[R] Not human
[B] Indeed they all do
Four legs?
Do these animals live on land?
Hamsters?
...no P...
Native to the UK?
Taste nice?
[So] Yes.
[Bo] Yes.
[Tu] No.
[Ra] Yes.
[Ro] I have only eaten one of this type of animal and it was nice.
Horses?
[GuLo] That gets an outbreak of clapping, with the odd whoop, holler, and whinny. However, it's not right.
Hedgehogs?
[Bo] No, we are spineless today.
Fillet of unborn horse, simmered in its own amniotic fluid?
Are these animals mammalian?
Hare?
[Ra] Ergh... No.
[Bo] Yes, they are.
[So] No.
Pig?
[Bo] Pigs are not part of this family.
Are we talking bovine here?
[Bo] No, there are no cows in this field.
Rabbit?
Goat?
[Ro] Rabbits are no part of this breed.
[Bo] Caprids, likewise, are not typical.
Deer?
[So] Deer, no. Please stop the ruminating.
Are these beasts regarded as pests?
Are these animals ungulates?
[Ro] I don't believe that even hunters could maintain they were pests.
[Bo] Yes, they all take their ungulation seriously.
Camels?
A Shetland pony?
[Ra] The Camelidae are out of reckoning. Audience, though, is getting the hump.
[Ro] Well, that gets a clap, but [Gusset Login] got there firster and better.
Do they still exist?
[Ra] They certainly exist today.
A beast of burden?
Is it a crossbreed?
[Ro] The horses certainly are, but I don't think anyone has ever tried the others.
[Bo] No miscegenation involved.
Equids generally?
[Ra] Gusset guessed that already. Still it gets a round vigorous if impatient applause and subdued cries of "Get on with it!" and "Can someone find us a zoologist?"
Odd-toed ungulates, a.k.a. Perissodactyla?
We have a winner!
And the zoologist appears, and with sage wisdom provides the answer. Therefore *Wild applause for Raak!*
For you sir, take your choice of baton engraved with a rhino, tapir, zebra, or what might be a horse, and follow the blue lights over there for the interview.
(I was waiting for [Tuj] to ask the p-question...)
The next is MINERAL and ABSTRACT.
Is it that boulder that Sisyphus has to push up a hill?
Is it decorative?
[B1] Nice idea,but not Sisyphus? boulder.
[B2] Not decorative.
Is the mineral in liquid form?
[Boolbar] Not liquid.
Is it the name of a mineral?
Does it begin with P?
Whoops, am I late? Sorry Bism =)
Stone?
[Bismarck] Not the name of a mineral.
[Zarquon] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Yes, mainly stone.
Is this found in the Bible?
[Boolbar] It is not in the Bible.
A bridge?
A geologic term?
Is it unique?
[Raak] I see your reference, and I appreciate it =)
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
[Bismarck] Not a geologic term.
[Tuj] Er...the MINERAL thing is unique, and the ABSTRACT thing is, broadly speaking, unique, but the MINERAL thing and the ABSTRACT thing are not the same thing.
Mount Everest?
[Bismarck] Not Mount Everest.
(Not sure how Mount Everest could be abstract, unless there's a novel called that.)
Stone me?
[Software] Not a figurative expression.
A geographic term?
Proper names are intrinsically abstract. I'm sure Wittgenstein said that, if not I'm making it up.
[Bismarck] Not a geographic term. Also, whether it is a proper name (that would be another question), proper name-ness is not the ground for this thing's abstractness.
(It seems to me, pace Wittgenstein, that The Royal Festival Hall (for example) is very concrete.)
Is the MINERAL thing human-made?
[Boolbar] It is man-made!
Is it comestible?
[Bismarck] Not comestible.
Does it involve a proper name?
Is this the Royal Festival Hall?
Is the mineral part a building?
[B1a] It does involve a proper name.
[B1b] But is not the RFH.
[B2] Is a building!
Is this building in Europe?
[Boolbar] It is, or was, in Europe.
Does it still exist?
[Bismarck] That is argued over, but the simplest answer is that no, it no longer exists.
Is this building in the British Isles?
Mysteriouser and mysteriouser... European building that may or may not exist, named by or after someone, but not decorative.
[Bismarck] Not in the British Isles.
Is its putative non-existence the result of politics?
[Rosie] Isn't everything the result of politics?
Perhaps I have been too obscure about its existence. It was built; it was partly dismantled, and partly fell into ruin, which is why it no longer exists.
[Bismarck] Although it does involve a proper name, the name is not the name of a person.
Right, this is far too vague up to here, could be anything from the Teutoburg Wall through Horta's Maison du Peuple to the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Is it in Germany?
[Bismarck] Not in Germany.
Alhambra?
[GL] Not the Alhambra. (That still exists anyway.)
Was it in Scandinavia?
A fortification such as a castle?
(Raak) re. politics. Not my excessive smoking.
[Rosie] Yes, this could be classified as a fortification. But was not a castle.
Was/Is it in France?
[Bismarck] Not France.
Is/Was it in Greece?
The Seigfried line?
[Boolbar] Not Greece.
[Software] Not the Siegfried line.
Did the Romans build it?
[Boolbar] Not built by the Romans.
Was it in the Balkans?
Scandinavia q still outstanding?
[Bismarck] Not in Scandinavia or the Balkans.
We'd better try Italy, then. Is it in Italy?
Is it in Spain?
Is it in one of the Visegrad countries?
getting there, getting there...
Not in Italy, Spain, ...(pause to google)..., or in Visegrad.
Is it in one of the Benelux countries?
[Bismarck] Not Benelux.
The audience is yawning and fidgetting.
Was it in a country whose name ends with a vowel?
As far as an English speaking person is concerned.
Is it in Switzerland?
It's not just the audience... still got Romania, Moldova, European Russia, Liechtenstein, European Turkey, Slovenia, Austria, Malta, Cyprus, and the Baltic countries to go. Let's see who cracks first.
Oh yes, there's Portugal too. Is it in Portugal?
[Bismarck] The country ends with a vowel. As indeed do most countries.
Not Switzerland. One of that list does apply, though.
Not Portugal.
One might try other angles. After all, how much would the country really tell you? What sort of building, what time period, and that abstract thing that no-one is asking about. I expect the answer is quite well known to most people here.
There are five words on the card.
Was this building still in use in 1900?
[Boolbar] Not in use in 1900.
That makes things clearer. Did people live in it?
[Bismarck] This building was not for living in.
Did this exist before 1900?
Was this a place of entertainment?
[Bismarck] Existed before 1900.
[Boolbar] Not a place of entertainment.
Any connection with horror stories?
A place of worship?
Did this exist B.C.?
[Rosie] Aaaaaaahhhhh???? No.
[Boolbar] Not a place of worship.
[Bismarck] Did not exist B.C.
Was this structure used for holding back or containing water?
[Boolbar] Not waterworks.
Was this structure a defensive wall?
A ripple of applause, as the stage of Discovery of the Footprints is attained. "These traces can no more be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward."
Not a defensive wall.
Was it built by a religious order?
Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
triumphal arch?
[B] Not a triumphal arch.
Is the AOTC a book title?
[B] Not a book title.
Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?
[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)
Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?
I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!
[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.
(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?
I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!
[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]
[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.
Do precious metals come into this?
[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.
[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.
All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?
Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.
Are we looking for a piece of music here?
I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.
Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.
[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.
Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.
This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.
Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.
Winners comments
I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.
So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.
Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.
Is it man made?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is the first word "The"?
Is there only one of this?
[GL] Artificial? No.
[Kn] Bigger than small? Yes.
[Ra] Definite article? Yes.
[Bo] Unique? Yes.
A precious stone?
[Ra] Gem-quality? No.
Liquid?
Is it a mountain?
Is it a natural feature?
[GL] No.
[Bo] No.
[Ro] Yes, on balance.
A waterway?
Is it larger than Wales?
[Ra] Wet? No.
[Bo] Fwy na Cymru? Yes.
England
Oi! Mwy na Chymru, 'sgwelwch yn dda.
Is it not on the Earth?
[Ro] Anglo? No.
[Bo] Extraterrestrial? Yes.
Mars?
[Ro] Red planet? No.
The Milky Way? (Other chocolate bars are available)
Is it within our Solar System?
[Kn] No.
[Bo] No.
Is it a galaxy?
Chocolate bar theme continuing.
A nebula?
Applause and the odd Janx spirit all around
[Bo] Yes!
Hidden textThey should have praline centres, all that black hole-at-the-centre theory is due for revision

[Ra] No.
The Magellanic Clouds?
[Ro] Star cluster? No.
The Andromeda Galaxy?
Take a bow, Boolbar!
The winning move and within twenty questions, a fine effort. Take this complimentary Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster and proceed to the winner's enclosure.
Recovers from hard hitting but lemony hangover
Wow! Winning this is out of this world! And thanks for the bow, I'll pop it in my hair. Um, the next one is
ABSTRACT & ANIMAL
Aslan?
A painting?
Animal part fearsome?
[Raak] No wardrobe based lion.
[Bismark] No framed masterpiece.
[Rosie] To some I'm sure. Frightening. Audience nodding
is the animal one that might be found in the wild?
Is the animal a snake?
[Bismarck] You wouldn't really say that about this animal, so let's go for no.
[Rosie] No.
Thinking about it, the AOTC is abstract involving an abstract animal, so my answer to Rosie's "fearsome" question is more to do with the abstract animal and not the isolated animal alone. Sorry for any confusion caused. I'm more awake today. As you were.
Is the animal extinct?
[Bismarck] Definitely not!
A sacred cow?
Is the AOTC an idiomatic phrase?
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.
A mythological creature?
An heraldic animal?
Wonders when someone will ask the usual "animal" question.
[Raak] The AOTC is not a mythological creature, but the animal part does appear in myths.
[Superman] I can find examples of the animal part in heraldic crests, but is not usually thought of as such.
A snake in the grass?
[Raak] Alas no.
Cheshire cat?
[Bismarck] No grins for you either.
A quadruped?
Is the abstract bit a literary reference?
[Superman] No.
[Bismarck] Yes!   Audience wake up and applaud.
Is the animal a human?
[Gusset Login] Yes!
So we are looking for somebody in a book... Is the perspn one of those Hero With a Thousand Faces types?.
The man with no name?
[Bismarck] Not one of those types.
[Gusset Login] Not without a name.
An historical (real) personage?
Is the personage male?
[Superman & Bismarck] Can you share this "No" between you? I'm running out of them. Neither real or male.
Is she a religious figure?
Does she have a statue in Denmark?
Liberty?
Britannia?
[All] No! Although I can't guarantee that there is not a statue somewhere in Denmark made by a bored sculptor and placed in their garden :)
Associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Yes!
Is that country in Europe?
[Superman] Yes!
British Isles?
Bernadette Soubirous?
[Bismarck] Yes!
[Raak] Not her.
Boudicca?
The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street?
[Raak] Not her either.
[Gusset Login] I like the way you think, but no.
 
The basics so far... Animal=Human (humans are found in myths, not extinct, etc.) Human=female with a name, not a religious figure. Overall a literary reference and connected with the British Isles.
Alice in Wonderland?
[Superman] Not her. Even through the looking glass.
Does this character have a pib named after her?
-pib+pub..
[Superman] Not that I know of (pibs or pubs). Without a list of all pub names worldwide it is hard to be certain. But a google search shows nothing, although I did find a pub in the UK with a very connected name.
From Arthurian legends?
Does the good lassie turn up in a play?
[Raak] No.
[Bismarck] If she does (and she has) it is not the original source, so don't be distracted by that.
Maid Marian?
[Raak] No.
Was the literary reference made after 1900?
[Bismarck] Not that recent, no.
Royalty?
[Raak] No.
Involved with the occult?
Scottish?
[Bismarck] No.
[Raak] Smattering of audience going 'oooh'   There is an aspect of the AOTC that would come under the broad sweep of the occult. However the fictional female in the AOTC was not involved with the occult.
Mother Shipton?
Though I have admit she might have been real.
[Superman] Not her.
Originating after 1600?
[Raak] It is my great pleasure to say "yes".
Shakespeare's Dark lady?
[Raak] Nor her.
 
Just to clarify and hint : when I said earlier "...but the animal part does appear in myths." I was referring to humans in general for the animal part (as people were trying to identify the animal at that point), not this particular literary fictional human female character.
One of the royalty?
The White Lady?
Would it help to define the geographical appurtenance of said female more closely?
[Superman] No to Royalty and not The White Lady but the latter gets the audience murmuring.
[Bismarck] I suspect it would help.
I'm game... Welsh lady?
[Bismarck] Best hide from those people with shotguns then... As for Wales, no.
it's the leg i was referring to, thanks for the sympathy. Ireland?
[Bismarck] Nor Ireland. That should narrow it down a bit :)
Wilkie Collins' Woman in White?
(arriving late here, I am just reacting to the recent murmur from the audience)
[gil] Nice try, but no.   Audience are looking more expectant now.
Irene Adler?
[Raak] To Sherlock Holmes she may be always the woman. But not this time.
Lack of inspiration leaves brute force... North of Manchester?
[Bismarck] Yes!
19th century?
[Raak] Yes! Yes!
from Dickens?
from the Bront?s?
Try &euml; for ë
[Raak] Not the Dickens.
[Superman] Shouting over the audience cheering   Yes! From the Brontës!
Oh great, never read any of them. Wikipedia suggests Jane Eyre as a possibility, is that it?
[Superman & Wikipedia] Not that possibility.
Bront?s, Brontë, Bront. Testing. Still no idea, though.
Is the AOTC a personage in 'Jane Eyre'?
[Superman] Not that book no.
Start to overheat with anticipation : someone opens a window.
Oh, go on then: Agnes Grey?
[Superman] Not her, or any other shade of grey.
Lucy Snowe?
C'mon Boolbar, we all want to know if gil has it!
[Superman] Busy weekend and...
[gil] No. [hint : wrong Brontë]
Nelly Dean?
[Superman] No but... Some audience applause and whooping
Isabella Linton?
[Superman] No. Still the wrong character. The audience fall silent. Only the sound of a branch tapping on the window can be heard.
 
Note that the AOTC does have an extra part than just the character's name : see murmur above.
Is there nobody out there that has ever read this stuff and can put us put of our misery?
Nobody wants to take the baton at this time of year. :)
I give up
Not a ghost of a chance of anyone getting this? While I wait I shall listen to some music.
Did I really start this game 14 years ago? (see wordy intro above)
To narrow down to 1, hopefully: is she already dead at the beginning of the novel?
It's one of 2 I had suspected... but I've had a go relatively recently
[Knobbly] At the beginning of the novel she is dead.
[Knobbly] Don't apologise, it's been me and Boolbar in here for the last how long, and Stockholm syndrome was beginning to set in.
Catherine Earnshaw?
Audience goes wild with excitement
[Knobbly] That'll do as I'm sure you muttered "The ghost of" just beforehand.  Plus I need a rest.  Have this baton made from a fir bough which oddly feels like a ice-cold hand...
Where did my post go?
Did I forget to click Stand again?
Anyway, as everyone drifts back from extended New Year breaks, this one is ANIMAL.
The dog ate it.
Is it a human?
Is it Arthur Pendragon?
Made of meat?
`
[Boolbar] Not human
[GL] Not -King Arthur
[Tuj] I'll say yes, but only on the basis that all animals are made of meat, so that's not particularly helpful.
Mammal?
Fictional?
A bird?
More than four legs?
[Gil] YES, mammalian ([Boolbar] and therefore not a bird)
[Rosie] Not fictional
[Bismark] No more than 4 legs.
A specific human?
A lolcat?
Larger than a 2 slice toaster?
Extinct?
[Raak] No specific human
[Bismarck] No can has cheezburger
[Chalky] YES bigger than a small toaster
[Superman] The species is not extinct.
bigger than a goat?
[gil] No bigger than a goat
Is it a member of the subfamily Caprinae?
A pet?
[Boolbar] Not Caprinae
[Rosie] YES, a pet.
Sounds doggish
Carnivorous?
Is it a Thing That Should Not Be?
[gil & Bismarck] YES, extremely doggish and indeed carnivorous
[Raak] I had to Popular Search Engine it, but no.
Irish Wolfhound?
[Superman] Not an Irish Wolfhound.
Winner of Best In Show at Crufts 2016?
Is it a specific dog?
[Chalky] Not BIS
[Boolbar] YES a specific dog.
Lassie?
[Bismarck] What's that, Lassie? No, not you.
Is this specific dog still alive?
Laika?
[Boolbar] Not still alive
[Raak] Not Laika.
Greyfriars Bobby?
Recap
So we are looking for a dead pet dog Knobbly once knew. Hmmmm.
[CdM] Not Greyfriars Bobby
[Bismarck] Choosing to interpret that as a question: No, I didn't know the dog personally.
Did or does the dog advertise something?
Did the dog appear on children's TV?
[Boolbar] YES, it is an advertising dog *Audience wakes up and begins to murmur excitedly*
[Raak] Not children's telly, no.
... the Andrex puppy?
The Dulux Old English Sheepdog?
[S & B] Neither of them.
Used in a logo?
[Boolbar] Logo, YES. *Murmuring increases - they were worried you'd been misled by the yes to adverts*
The HMV/RCA dog?
Jumping on the bandwagon
[Software] YES - The AOTC was actually its name (for an extra point?), but I'm minded to give you that.
Listen to this recording of me telling you you've won...
And the winner of the invisible AVMA game is... Can't read it, it's faded.
It is undoubtedly that much commented storm. His cable out to the islands has probably been cut and he is working feverishly to recover from the outage. With a wee bit of luck Stevie et al will sort out a piece of code and float it over in a bottle in order to help us all out. Of course that code will, of necessity, be in plain French.
Anyone going to be bold enough to start another?
Right, then. This is quite straightforward.

It's MINERAL. and nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Is this an element in the periodic table?
Is it an individual object?
Is it a human-made object?
Is it a rock?
Is it a plane?
(Bismarck) One of the elemnts? NO. *some muted giggles from the audience*
(Raak) An individual object? YES
(Boolbar) Human made? YES.
(Gusset Login) A rock? NO.
(Tuj) Aircraft, geometrical concept or carpentry tool? NONE of the above.
Was it human-made over 200 years ago?
Is it in the UK?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a monument?
Possibly misleading
It is an object but there are many of them. Loads of 'em, in fact.

If the questions had been phrased "Are they.....?" the answers would have been:
(Boolbar) YES, probably
(Superman) They're probably found in almost every country.
(Raak) Not a work of art.
(Bismarck) Not a monument.

[Rosie] It's an individual object, but they're found all over the place?
(Raak) It's an object, a thing, a whatsit, an oojamaflip. Individual in the sense of being different from other things. Not individual in the sense you meant though I suppose you could have a monogrammed one. Mea culpa.
A milestone?
A tool?
(Bismarck) A milestone? NO
(Raak) A tool? NO.
Are these items usually made of metal?
Is it mobile?
(Boolbar) Metallic? YES, but they don't have to be.
(Superman) Mobile? NO.
Can a person lift one of these?
(Raak) Can it be lifted? YES, very easily.
A marble?
(Raak) NO, not that easily.
A weapon of some sort?
An anchor?
(Boolbar) NO, not a weapon.
(Bismarck) An anchor? NO. Not terribly liftable.
Is this a household object?
Is this usually attached to, or part of, a building?
(Bismarck) Household object? YES
(Boolbar) Part of a building or attached thereto? YES.
A spoon?
A brick?
(Softers) NOT a spoon.
(Superman) NOT a brick.
A piece of door furniture?
Is it as big as a toaster?
(Raak) YES, though it stretches the imagination to call it furniture.
(Bismarck) Toaster-sized? NO.
Footrest?
Knockers!
(Software) Footrest? NO.
(Superman) Knockers? Where? Show me! NOT a percussive call-attention device..
A door-hinge?
(Raak) NOT a door-hinge but there is some association with the AOTC.
A jamb?
A door lock?
Knockers?
(Raak) Not a jamb.
(Bismarck) Not a door lock.
(Software) Knockers have been done, if you'll pardon the phrase. See Bismarck penult.
A gentle nudge: Not every house has one of these.
A cat flap?
A tradesmen's entrance?
Is this visible when the door is closed?
Letterbox?
(Raak,Boolbar, Software) None of those things but Superman has it. It's a cat-flap.

Over to you, Superman.

So this is a cat-flap?
Just let me sit here and meow plaintively for the next hour...
Ok, this one is ANIMAL. Let's hear your suggestions.
Is it human?
Is it food (for humans)?
We are off to a flyer!
[Boolbar] YES.
[Rosie] NO. Definitely not available for cannibalism.
A particular person?
Still alive?
First fence... going strong
[Software] YES, a particûlar character.
[Boolbar] Good question - the character is fictional, and as such never was alive, but nor has any death ever been mentioned.
A detective?
Was this fictional person created before the year 1900?
Second fence... jockeying for position
[Raak] NO, not their style.
[Boolbar] NO, more recent.
Female?
Early showing
[Raak] NO, definitely male.
A character created for a television show?
Does the character appear in only one work?
Tarzan?
Originally in a written work?
Third fence, a faller, leaders bunching
[Boolbar] NO, not for TV.
[Bismarck] NO, not an isolated incident.
[Software] NO-OOOO OOOO OOOO (sorry)
[Raak] YES, originally published on paper.
The principal character of the fiction?
Is this work the character appears in, a comic strip or graphic novel?
Fourth fence causes no problems to the leaders
[Raak] YES, this is the central character.
[Boolbar] YES, the character does appear in a comic strip or graphic novel.
A superhero?
Does the character appear in Viz?
At the fifth, over to Michael O'Hare
[Raak] Hero yes, superhero... On balance, NO. [Rosie] NO, not Viz.
Was a film made of this character?
A character from the Eagle comics?
That's going back a bit.
Loose horse, the field is split as they come to the sixth
[Bismarck] YES, a film was made with this character.
[Boolbar] NO, not from ye "Eagle".
Cow pie
Desperate Dan?
Did the character appear in a DC Comics publication?
Is the character a Marvel Comics creation?
At the sixth, a refusal, difficult landings but the race goes on
[Rosie] NO, not Dan.
[Bismarck] NO, not DC.
[Boolbar] NO, Marvel not.
Created by Neil Gaiman?
Dennis the Menace?
Did this character appear in a DC Thomson comic?
A character from 2000AD?
The water jump slows a few, but who is this coming up on the outside?
[Boolbar] NO, but good inspiration.
[Software] NO, though the character is certainly menacing.
[Bismarck] NO, no Beano, Dandy, Bunty etc.
[Raak] YES - Zarjaz! Won't be long now.
King Kong?
Judge Dredd?
Johnny Alpha?
Neck-and-neck finish!
[Software] NO, not the monkey.
[Gusset Login] NO, but it could have been the Dog.
[Raak] YES, it's everyone's favourite bobby on the beat in Mega-City One.

So Raak, you are the law! Please enter the winner's enclosure where Tharg will give you the keys to an enormous motorcycle: The rest of you into the weighing room where the Judges will execute a summary verdict.
The next is ANIMAL.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it human?
Is it fictional?
[S] Um... it is human, but not a human.
[B] Not fictional.
A nationality?
Not a nationality.
A profession?
A Band?
[B] Not a profession.
[GL] Not a band.
Does this human collective still exist today?
[B] (Q1) Not a human collective. (Q2) Exists today.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Is it a part of a human?
[B] Yes, a part of a human.
Is it a visible part of said human?
[B] It is visible (and not just to those who happen to know them rather well).
Is it still attached to the rest of the human?
[B] Still attached.
What Rak said.
Is it a sense organ?
Who nose?
Is it a hand?
Skin?
[R] Not a sense organ.
[B1] Not a hand.
[B2] Not skin.
Is it the hair on the head?
[B] applause It is the hair on the head.
A quiff?
[S] applause!! Having done a google search to determine what is and is not a quiff, I believe that this is not, strictly speaking, a quiff.
A duck's-arse haircut
Very fashionable when ah were a lad.
An Afro?
[R] Not, er, one of those.
[B] Not an afro.
Is it an individual person's hair?
[B] It is an individual person's hair.
This must be the hair of the Deal Leader whose initials are DT (and I don't mean Donald Tusk)
setting myself up for a big fall here :)
It is indeed Donald Trump's hair, and I have a really great baton for you, because our batons are the greatest in the world.
What a great baton I have got. Carefully ignoring all the previous administration may have done, I and only I have the answer you are all looking for. This will be done speedily, and is Vegetable.
Is it a tree or part of a tree?
Is it unique?
Commonly part of the human diet?
This is a great start, I am expecting to be able to choose my staff from among you boys and lady. Thanks for the questions, which are aligned to our solution and to which the following statement from Kellyanne, you know the one, will suffice:
[Boolbar] Yes, great question
[Tuj] Yes, of course, I don't do ordinary
[Rosie] Not unless you're North Korean, and my solution delegated to our great ambassador Mr McDonald will soon sort that out.
Is it a work of art?
Is it alive?
Is it a piece of furniture?
Amidst all the mess left by the previous incumbent and with no help at all from China during the eight days of our presidency, we are pursuing our way for greatness to become yours. Good thing! and in reply to these beauties, let me just say this:
[Raak] Bigly, no, and certainly not to my taste. Some more paint and gilt might rescue it. Sure, I could sell it to the Mexicans.
[Bismarck] I can deny that. Only Democrats could imagine it alive, though there is a resemblance in its aliveness to certain politicos I could mention. Wait for the revelations.
[Boolbar] Well, listen, I'm not biased, it's standing against a wall and I can put things on it, just like the Sec of State. But it doesn't speak or fall over, so it's either furniture or in line for a promotion.
A type of table?
Wait a moment while I hang up on some lady who thinks she's important. Ok. Yes, it is one of greatest types of table.
The desk in the Oval Office?
Delay caused by having to go out for a Chinese. The staff are whooping an' hollerin', that's not a bad guess, they think. So yes it has been but we need more clarification.
Presumably a specific OO desk? The "Resolute" desk?
King Arthur's Round Table?
Night, night.
Well now, that's mighty close. Not the Round Table, that's plain wrong. I sign all my presidential stuff on that Resolute desk, 'cos "resolute" is my middle name, like "you're fired." But while the staff are applauding you, Jared tells me you'll need the name of the desk given by a real industry dealer, not made out of some Limey boat.
The C&O desk?
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
Oh, cheers, and by the way it looks like your communications are tapped, there's an echo.
Here's one for the weekend: ABSTRACT, for a change.
An emotion?
Anything to do with politics?
[Gil] NO, not an emotion.
[Rosie] Whilst fairly universal, this should be associated less with politics than many other occupations.
A quality not associated with politics? Veracity?
[gil] NO, not truthfulness.
Is it a quality that is normally regarded as good?
Is self respect closely related to the AOTC?
[Dujon] NO.
Politics really isn't the way to go.
[Rosie] Neither good nor bad, but neutral.
Anything to do with numbers?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] YES, numbers are very frequently associated with the Answer.
[Tuj] NO, though a closely allied concept does. Maybe we can do it next time.
Solidity?
Is it a human invention?
[Sup] NO, not solidity. [Tuj] NO, not a human invention.
Is it a physical constant?
Gravity?
[Bo] There are several physical constants and at least one law that describe the AOTC, or attempt to fudge it, but no self-respecting physicist would admit that that AOTC as stated comes into it. They might use Tuj's P-word, though.
[Ro] NO, not gravity.
Chemistry?
The vagaries of the weather?
[Super] NO, not chemistry
[Rosie] Applause breaks out but dies away. NO, not the weather.
Murphy's law?
Is it... spooky?
Is it... sleazy?
[Superman] Scattered applause... M's law is often invoked, but on reflection it indicates the opposite of the AOTC.
[The Mighty Tuj] NO, unless you consider Forteana spooky
[Boolbar of Asgard] NO, even if you're lucky.
BTW it's none of the other five dwarves either.
The movements of the planets?
Something to do with quantum mechanics?
[Rosie] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, though more common as the P-word.
The structure of the atom?
Chaos theory?
[Ro] NO. Hint - more general concept than physics.
[Ra] NO, although the AOTC plays a role in it as well as in the film.
Is the P-word physics?
Philosophy?
[Dujon] NO. [Rosie] NO.
Probability?
[Boolbar the Not Improbable] Yay, that's the P-word, of which the AOTC is a synonym.
Statistics?
[Raak] NO, not stats.
Chance?
The winner of the lottery is...
ROSIE, it's your lucky day, you have selected the six winning letters in the correct order! Come down into the arena and take this baton, as well as your cheque for sixpence, redeemable at any branch of the Midland bank.
There with the C-word, as usual.

Now this one is

MINERAL and VEGETABLE and nothing whatsoever to do with steam locomotives.

Is it pea gravel?
Salted licorice?
A building?
Kew Gardens?
A grandfather clock?
NO, five times NO. Gusset Login is closest but still a long way off.
Is it something made by a human?
Stonehenge?
Does it still exist?
(Boolbar) Human-made? YES
(Software) Stonehenge? *Brief audience excitement*. NO
(Superman) Still in existence? YES, just about.
Was it deliberately made (rather than being the side-effect of having humans around)?
(Bismarck) Deliberately made? YES.
Is there only one?
Woodhenge?
Is it a path?
(Boolbar) YES, there is only one.
(Softers) NO, not Woodhenge.
(Superman) A path? NO, but some will regard it as such.
Is it in Europe?
The continent, obvs.
Did it have a defensive purpose?
Did it exist before 1 AD?
(Tuj) In Europe? YES
(Superman) Defensive purposes? YES, very largely.
(Bismarck) Before 1 AD? NO.
The Berlin Wall?
Is it in Wales?
Was it built by a bloke called Offa?
(Raak) Not the Berlin Wall.
(Boolbar) YES, most of it.
(Superman) Obviously not; he was a king FFS. For some reason or other his name is always associated with it.
I think we can say Superman has won, so well done you, aye. Take this baton, run with it and try not to fall into a ditch or make jokes about lesbians.
We go again. Here we go again...
Thank you, dear. Llwbr coeheddus and all that.

Without further ado, let me announce an
ANIMAL subject on the card. Listen carefully as the mystery voice reads out the clue.

Is it me?
Is it a human?
And as the game kicks off...
[Tuj] I honestly don't know. Let's get to the answer and find out, shall we?
[Boolbar] YES, and also NO.
A person also in fiction?
[Software] NO, not fictional.
*trying to think of something that both is, and is not, human* Is this a class of people?
Is it alive?
Is it a trade or profession?
Play is defensive...
[Bismarck] A clarification is needed. *clears throat*
Mystery Voice:The Yes was for "human", the No was for "a".
[Tuj] YES.
[Boolbar] NO, although one comes into it.
The human genome?
Yer, roight, but is it a class of people?
Anything to do with elections?
A foray tries to break the defensive line...
[Raak] NO, genetics doesn't come into it.
[Bismarck] YES. This will come back and bite me.
[Boolbar] NO, thank goodness, there has to be some respite somewhere.
Is it everyone who is going to win this game in the future?
[Boolbar] NO. Though I wish I had thought of it.
Are they found (or associated with) a single country?
Something to do with their names?
A physical characteristic?
Still early doors, tackles and possession going backwards and forwards
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Rosie] NO.
All good questions, though.
Do these people have a common interest? (e.g vole-polishing, trainspotting etc)
Politicians?
Have they all won or been awarded something?
Crossing the half-way line
[Rosie] YES, on the grounds they must have or they wouldn't be doing what they're doing.
[gil] NO. At least that was an easy one.
[Boolbar] NO, not yet, although traditionally being there involves winning something.
Anything to do with sport?
Rosie spots an opening and is off like a hare
[Rosie] *stands erupt in applause* YES.
Are these people spectators?
Drinks break
[Raak] No, this is happening on the pitch.
Does the AOTC mention a specific sport?
Is this a football team?
Something to do with cricket?
Play slows as referee's guide dog takes a leak
[Rosie] NO. Which surprised me when I looked it up.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Anyone for Tennis?
An aquatic sport?
An umpire?
NO to all of you.
A team?
A groundsman?
Stepovers and missed passes...
[Raak] "YES!!" shout the assembled multitudes.
[Rosie] NO, despite the valiant work of that undervalued person.
Are the team sitting down while competing?
An indoor sport?
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
A sport using a ball (or balls)?
Does this sport take place with large numbers of spectators?
They build patiently...
[Boolbar] YES, this is a ball game.
[Rosie] YES, it's quite popular.
Is rugby the name of the game?
Boolbar rises above the fray to claim the throw
[Boolbar] YES! A chorus of a rugby song breaks out.
So, it's a team, and it's rugby, could it be a rugby team?
Swing low, sweet chariot
[Raak] YES.
A specific rugby team?
Coming for to carry me home
[Raak]'Ot, innit... Since you didn't win the contest outright for saying "rugby team", it is logical that we are looking for a specific rugby team. Orrigh'?
The British Lions?
Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi...
[Rosie] The massed ranks break into male-voiced harmony. NO, but only because that's not their full name, which will spell trouble in the green community of it ever gets out. However, it's closer than I came to winning last time out, so you'd better catch this pass from the bottom of the ruck and power onwards, leaving kiwis scattered in your wake like Barry John reincarnated. The British and Irish Lions it is.
Gwyddwn i ddim dy fod Cymro.
Actually I find Rugby absurd and incomprehensible but we had to play it in school.
Never mind all that, the next one is

ANIMAL
Rats?
Shouldn't that be Prats?
(Tuj, Dujon) Not the intention of the AOTC, but could be.
A beast of myth and fable?
Human?
(Bismarck) Mythical beast? NO.
(Boolbar) Human? Yes.
Does politics come into this?
Alive?
One human?
(Superman) NO politics in this.
(Tuj) Alive? YES.
(Boolbar) One human? Could be, but rather unlikely.
Has this anything to do with a game?
(Bismarck) - NO, nothing to do with a game.
Anything to do with railways?
A family?
(Boolbar) Surprisingly, NO
(Superman) A distinct possibility, but not a requirement. *some audience animation*
Something to do with food?
The staff in a business?
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with food.
(Superman) NO, not the staff in a business.
Does this group of people share a common goal?
Does this group of people share a common country?
(Bismarck) YES, but a rather undefinable one.
(Boolbar) Share a common country? YES.
Has this group of people been around for a long time?
A group of musicians?
From the answer to Bismark's question
The Tory Party?
(Bismarck) In some form or other, YES
(Boolbar) Musos? Essentially NO, though the AOTC does not exclude the possibility.
(Software) The Tories? NO.
Is this a mixed group, or unisex?
(Bismarck) Could be unisex, but unlikely.
Does this group gather in one place from time to time?
(Boolbar) A very strange way to describe it but strictly speaking YES.
The Mafia?
Is the common country the UK?
(Superman) The Mafia? NO
(Bismarck)UK? Need not be but all members of the group have a common country.
This sounds so much like the entrants for the Eurovision or the ruling party in a country or the footie team that it's annoying me that that has all been ruled out. It seems that a national interest group with no link to politics, sport or music is required. Even family connections are tenuous. The heads of the Commonwealth?
(Superman) NOT those worthies. Try not to explode. The AOTC is an instantly recognisable entity but has few if any definite characteristics except one which is of course the AOTC itself.
Do these people observe something?
(Boolbar) Observers? NO.
Mornington Crescenters?
(gil) NO, not us lot
An orchestra?
(Bismarck) An orchestra? NO
Has this anything to do with an astronomical event?
Could this be the Merthyr Tydfil travelling supporter/s?
Shareholders at an AGM?
(Boolbar) Anything to do with an astronomical event? NO, not a thing.
(Superman) NOT those intrepid worthies, nor those of Cefn Druids, Stenhousemuir or Warlingham and Whyteleafe Rovers.
(Bismarcke) Shareholders at an AGM? NO.
Do the people in this group change from day to day?
(Boolbar) NO, not from day to day.
Does alcohol come into this at all?
Shopping?
Can you become a member of this group by being born?
(Superman) Booze? - NO
(Bismark) Shopping? - NO.
(Boolbar) A member of the group simply by being born? YES. *audience senses some insight into this utterly banal subject*
Queuing?
(Bismarcke) NO, not queueing.
The population of planet Earth?
(Raak) NO, not that extensive.
Something to do with royalty?
(Boolbar) Royalty? Could be theoretically, but extremely unlikely.
All people who share your birthday?
(Superman) Wot? Peter Cook, Jonafan Woss? NO, but you're moving towards the essential banality of the AOTC.
Hidden text17/11/42 if you must know :-)
Could this be found in Pittsburgh, PA, USA?
(drquuxum) In Pittsburg, Pa., USA? YES, it certainly could.
Er, Pittsburgh, that is.
Perhaps we're nearly there, but here's a recap:
The AOTC is a group of living humans (less than the population of Earth; could be just the one person but not likely, and could be unisex but not likely) who have been around a long time in some form or other; who share a common country (which could be the UK but not necessarily; they could be found in Pittsburgh, PA); who could be a family but not necessarily so; who share a common goal but a rather undefinable one, and could be said to gather in one place from time to time (but this would be a very strange way to describe it). You could become a member of this group just by being born.
The people in this group do not change from day to day, and they are not mythical, the staff of a business, a group of musicians (though this isn't excluded by the answer), the Tories, the Mafia, the heads of the Commonwealth, people who observe something, MCers, an orchestra, travelling football supporters, shareholders at an AGM or people who share a birthday, and are not connected with politics, a game, railways, food, an astronomical event, booze, shopping, queueing or royalty (well, could be, but extremely unlikely), and who are not intended to be rats or prats but could be.
Do the people in this group share a notable physical or medical trait?
(Tuj) NO - no typical physical or medical trait.
Does age come into it?
Does everyone belong to such a group?
Are hospitals involved in any way?
[Rosie] Your spelling of "Pittsburg" was canon from 1891-1911.
(Bismarck) Age? NO, not relevant.
(Boolbar) Not everyone but in a lot of countries nearly everyone. So in essence YES.
(drquuxum) NO, no hospitals involved. The pronunciation fits the old spelling, yes? In England with the new spelling it would be Pittsbra, approximately.
Is it something to do with where you are born?
Is a monetary exchange generally involved?
(Boolbar) Where you were born? NO
(drquuxum) Money? NO, not involved.
Religion?
(gil) NO, religion is not relevant.
Do addresses come into this?
(Boolbar) Addresses? In one way, YES, certainly. In a more general way, NO, not really.
People applying for a passport?
(Superman) NO, not that.
The residents of a named location?
(Boolbar)YES, literally so but not the AOTC.
The general population?
(Softers) NO, more specific than that.
Those on the voter rolls?
(Superman) NO, not the electoral register.
Anything to do with education?
(drquuxum) Hedgumacation? Nope.
That part of the population living in cities?
(Superman) City dwellers? NO.
The AOTC involves the location of people with respect to other people.
Do these people share their names with a television programme?
(dr Q) A TV programme? YES. *prolonged applause from audience, previously somnolent, not to say comatose*
Neighbours.
I eschewed the American spelling just for this.
(Dr Q) A noble act and a winning one. The actual AOTC is "next-door neighbours" but this is near enough if we're not to be here until the sun goes supergiant. I declare drquuxum the winner.
Thank you, Rosie. It's good to be back. Your next clue is…
ABSTRACT
Is this something that would exist without humans?
[Boolbar] NO.
An association of individuals with a common purpose?
[Rosie] NO.
Something to do with language or writing?
To do with art?
Can I perceive this through senses other than sight?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Bismarck] YES.
Anything to do with music?
[Rosie] NO. (or at best tangentially)
Anything to do with food or drink?
To do with philosophy?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Tuj] NO, and that's a little cheaty IMO ;-)
An aesthetic quality, e.g. beauty?
[Rosie] NO.
To do with mathematics?
[Raak] *thinks long and hard, trying to figure out how to answer this, and a sheepish reply emanates* YES?
A logical construct?
[Bismarck] Please define further?
Boolean logic?
Associated with a particular group of people?
[drq] =P
Something to do with sleep?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] NO. ;-D [Boolbar] NO.
Do maps come into it?
[Superman] NO.
Does set theory come into this?
[Boolbar] NO.
A symbol?
Would this have been known to humans over 100 years ago?
[Bismarck] YES. [Boolbar] YES.
A weather forecast?
[Rosie] NO.
A mathematical symbol?
Is this named after some person or people?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] YES. *smattering of applause*
A unit?
A theorem?
[Bismarck] NO. [Rosie] YES. *full audience applause*
That of Pythagoras?
[Software] NO. (Note: I changed around the order of Bismarck's and Rosie's posts for dramatic effect)
Electrical?
All units are named after someone with the exception of a Wales, an Olympic swimming pool and a London bus. This will be a long haul.
Tesla?
[Rosie] YES. [Bismarck] NO.
A three-letter word?
Does it contain a non-ASCII character?
[Rosie] SOMETIMES. [Raak] NO.
An Amp(ère)?
A British Thermal Unit should be good enough for anyone, what?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
*rupturous applesauce* YES, it was the Ampere, the SI unit of electrical current.
Ohm eye Gawd, I've won. What now?

Well, it's ANIMAL

Human?
Or are we dancer?
Primarily an aquatic being?
Female?
(Boolbar) Human? YES
(drquuxum) Aquatic? The mind boggles. NO.
(Bismarck) Female? YES
Charlotte Green?
It's been a while, but I still remember some of your proclivities, Rosie ;-)
Still alive?
Just the one person?
(Dr Q) The mellifluous Ms Green? Alas NO. Did you know she now reads the football results on Five Live? Such a relief from the routine snarly sports types.
(Boolbar) Alive? YES.
(Tuj) Just the one person? YES.
Fictitious?
A political figure?
A factual non-political figure?
(Dr Q) NO - Not fictitious.
(Boolbar) Political? - NO
(CdM) Factual? Not quite sure what you're getting at. This is a live non-politician.
European?
Athletic-type?
(Boolbar) European? YES
(drquuxum) Athletic type? NO. *audience crease themselves*
The Queen?
(Bismarck) Her Maj? NO. *audience amused*
Someone in the entertainment field (or at least purports to be)?
(drquuxum) Entertainment? YES.
British?
(Tuj) British? YES.
Has she ever appeared on Just a Minute?
(Bismarck) Just a minute? I don't know. I'd have thought not.
Hidden textI can't stand the programme
Known for singing?
(Boolbar) Known for singing? Er, NO. *some amusement in the audience*
Anything to do with the TV news?
Does she appear on-stage (that is, in person) with any regularity?
(Bismarck) News? NO.
(drquuxum) Not so much regularly as frequently.
Is she a Dame?
(Duj) A Dame? NO, at least not yet.
Does the person usually work with a comedic bent?
(Dr Q) Comedian? YES, but there are other strings to her bow.
Has she appeared on Have I Got News For You?
(Boolbar) HIGNFY? YES. *audience cheers*
Does she change the colour of her hair frequently?
Scottish?
(drquuxum) Hair colour change? I can't say for certain, but the answer is probably YES.
(Boolbar) Scottish? NO.
Jo Brand?
The splendid JO BRAND it is! Well done Dr Q. Your turn.
Woot! I've only seen a bit of Jo Brand's work on QI & HIGNFY; I hope to see more. In any event, the new category is:
MINERAL
Stone?
Is it something created by humans?
Was it once alive?
The Angel of the North?
[Rosie] YES. [Boolbar] NO. [Bismarck] NO. [Gusset] NO.
Is it not on planet Earth?
[Boolbar] YES, it is not on the Earth.
Is it real?
An exoplanet?
An asteroid?
A comet?
The Moon, now it's back after the eclipse?
Sorry for the delay.
[Superman] YES.
[Raak] NO.
[Rosie] MAYBE.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Rosie] PS - Jo Brand has been on Just A Minute, but not since 1999.
Pluto?
I'd have thought Jo Brand is too laconic for Just a Minute.
[Rosie] NO. Probably why she hasn't been on in 18 years.
Is it a collection of objects?
[Boolbar] NO.
A moon of another planet?
[Bismarck] YES. *audience woooooos*
Phobos?
In the Jovian system?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
Indeed, the Martian moon Phobos. That was quick.
Your turn, Rosie.
Does it be-
Oh, too late!
And the next object is:
ABSTRACT WITH MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Is it a process?
(drquuxum) NO, not a process.
Is it Art?
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
(Raak) Art? NO.
(Boolbar) Phrase etc, NO.
Is it something that has existed/would exist without humans?
(drquuxum) Would it exist/have existed without humans? YES.
A physical theory?
Chemistry?
(Raak) A physical theory? NO.
(Superman) NOT chemistry.
Is the mineral stone?
(Bismarck) Stone? NO.
A figurative expression?
Is it associated with a particular location?
(Raak) A figurative expression? CAN BE, but there is an equally valid literal meaning.
(Tuj) Associated with a partcular location? NO.
Geology?
(Bismarck) NO, nothing to do with geology.
Radioactive decay?
(Superman) Radioactive decay? NO.
Is it known to happen/exist anywhere outside of the planet Earth?
Anything to do with earth?
As in soil.
(Dr Q) Elsewhere than Earth? In a literal sense YES but that is not at all helpful.
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with earth in that sense.
Anything to do with communication?
(drquuxum) NO, nothing to do with communication.
Weather related?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *audience cheers*
A sh*t storm?
[Software] I feel like that would be more of "Animal connections". :D
is the mineral water?
(Software) Explosive diarrhea? NO.
(Superman) Water? YES.
Are clouds anything to do with this?
(Boolbar) Clouds? YES and NO.
Cloudy with sunny intervals and occasional rain spreading from the east with possible patches of fog and later on if the sky clears there may be some frost through the night?
The shipping forecast?
Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue?
They don't write them like that anymore.
(Raak and Bismarck) NO. It's not a forecast.
(Boolbar) Most definitely NOT a rainbow.
Lightning?
Contrails?
A t(r)opical storm?
(drquuxum) Lightning? NO.
(Raak) "Aircraft cirrus"? NO.
(Superman) NOT a storm of any kind.
Humidity?
(Dr Q) Humidity? NO. *some rather unkind sniggers from the audience*
Precipitation?
Is the water standing? (As opposed to running. Or sitting with its legs crossed)
Is the water frozen?
Flooding?
(Boolbar) Precipitation? NO. *audience sniggers turn to giggling*
(CdM) The water is not standing, it has withdrawn.
(drquuxum) Frozen? Impossible to say.
(Superman) Flooding? NO. *audience quite bewildered*
Is it something to do with a lack of rain?
The sudden withdrawal of the sea before a tsunami?
(Boolbar) A lack of rain? YES. *prolonged applause from the audience*
(Raak) Preparing for the inundation? NO.
Evaporation?
Drought?
(Superman) NOT evaporation.
(drquuxum)YESSSS! A total or very nearly total absence of aqueous entities. Well done Dr Q. We've got this little game sorted, haven't we?

Your turn again.

Given that Boolbar gave the clear winning clue, I'd be willing to let them have a go if they agree. [Offer expires in 48 hours]
The DrQ-Boolbar summit
Are the negotiations proceeding well, and will a communiqué be released in due course?
I suppose I'll defer to Boolbar at a later date. In the meantime, let's continue with the lesser-used...

VEGETABLE

Trump?
Can you smoke it?
Is it a foodstuff?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Rosie: YES.
Dairy-free yoghurt?
Raak: NO. *audience oohs already*
Does it grow from a grain?
Bismarck: PARTIALLY.
Is it used in making a drink?
Rosie: NO. *mild chortling from the audience*
Muesli?
A vegetarian form of imitation meat?
Superman: NO.
Raak: PARTIALLY.
Does soya come into it?
Superman: POSSIBLY.
In the AOTC, is the foodstuff for human consumption?
Superman: YES, but what does Star Wars have to do with this?
Ahem, WE'RE asking the questions, laddie. Is this fast food
Vat-grown meat?
Bismarck: NO, and that's "lassie" to you >:P
Raak: NO.
A vegetarian sausage?
I see I should pop by more often...
Boolbar: NO, and possibly so.
A breakfast cereal?
Bismarck: NO.
Quorn?
Whatever that is
Software: NO.
A complete meal?
Boolbar: YES.
A TV dinner?
Bismarck: NO.
Quinoa?
Whatever that is.
A breakfast meal?
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
"Pop tarts"?
I preferred the metal tarts, myself
Superman: NO.
One of these meal replacement mixtures fashionable among geeks, like Solyent, Huel, etc.?
Raak: NO.
Frozen pizza?
Bis: NO.
Does this meal include potato?
Boolbar: NO.
Do you find this in a fast food outlet?
Raak: NO.
Is this barbecued food?
Recap
Not sure we're getting close to the doctor's order. A recap:
IS a human foodstuff, and a complete potato-free meal thereof.
IS PARTIALLY grown from grain, vegetarian, and it might have some soya in it. You would only have it for breakfast if you're really wasted.
IS NOT ... pretty much everything else, including a drink constituent, pizza, breakfast cereal, ready dinner, veggie meat substitute, and fast food.
We're still waiting to find out if it's quinoa or barbecued.
Leftover question regarding quinoa: NO.
Boolbar (BBQ): NO.
Bis: Per Raak's question of "Vegetarian form of imitation meat", the answer was PARTIALLY, not NO.
Is the food/meal associated particularly with a country?
Bismarck: Debatable, but let's say YES.
Is it customarily eaten with chopsticks?
Steak and kidney pudding?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Are we looking for the constituent name of the ingredients like "Meat and two veg"?
Are looking for a name as It might appear on a menu, like "Waldorf salad"?
Bismarck #1: NO.
Bismarck #2: YES.
Is it Waldorf salad?
Bismarck: NO.
Nasi goreng?
Superman: Wot?
Well, obvs ain't that, then *ticks another tofu-containing dish off the list*
Is it a spicy meal?
Full English breakfast?
A vegie breakfast?
Rogan josh?
Boolbar: CAN BE; NOT OBLIGATORY.
Bismarck: NO.
Software: NO (but see previous commentary)
Superman: NO.
Some sort of soup?
Does salad come into it?
Can one obtain all the ingredients in the typical supermarket?
Boolbar: NO.
Bismarck: NO.
Raak: MAYBE? I'm not sure what would be considered "typical" in a British supermarket. A sufficiently-large USA supermarket would be a YES.
A quick lorainney? (as they say in my parts)
Superman: Wot?
Sheesh... a quiche lorraine?
Some type of pie?
Sup: NO.
Bool: NO.
Is it usually eaten hot?
Bool: YES.
Anyone? Bueller?
Does the meal include pasta?
Superman: YES. *wave of applause emanate from the audience as they are awoken from their slumber*
A spaghetti dish?
Bool: NO.
Lasagne/Lasagna ?
Gusset: YES. *Audience in resounding applause*
Lasagne pescatore?
Bis: NO.
Lasagna vegetarian?
Close enough
I was specifically going for "Vegan Lasagna" (with non-dairy Ricotta and TVP-like meat), but I figure with this lot it'd be a bit too pedantic.

Superman takes the victory and the next subject!

Oh like wow
I'd just like to thank you. And my lawyer. And my mother. And my brain surgeon. Without you it wouldn't be the same. And to all those millions who have contributed to this success, you're wonderful. Most of you are anyway. I sincerely hope vague praise is enough for you, because I'm keeping the rest.

But on with the show! Now greater, better, yellower, and it's...
ANIMAL !
Is it Tuj asking if it begins with P?
Edible?
Mammal?
Can you eat it?
Human?
Can you eat it? I dunno. Stupid old fool.
Unique?
Is it alive?
Incidentally, my first post in this game for nearly 17 months. oops!
Hello class
Your marks, in order:
[Boolbar] NO, leave Tuj alone.
[Raak] YES, but even so wait for lunch break
[Rosie] NO, we are not cannibals, and do fifty lines "I must not insult myself, others are there to do it"
[Tuj] NO, there are uncounted examples
[Phil] YES, unlike certain pupils in class 2B. Don't forget to give your name for the register.
Yeah, but is it human?
If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?
[Rosie] NO, now move on to exercise two.
[CdM] I see you have reached exercise 421, well done! NO, of course. Maybe you can sit next to Rosie and help him along.
Repeating: Mammal?
Is it a fish?
[Drq] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Is it a bird?
Hmm, so you answered "No" to 'If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?'. So you would not say "No" (ie. you would say "Yes"*) to the question "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?". Hence it does begin with "P".
* Or you might have answered "Maybe" which throws any attempt at logic out of the window.
A parrot, dead perhaps?
Does it fly?
Is it alive?
Ill logic
[Boolbar] I always wondered if "Bool" meant a Boolean logical construct and "bar" meant the logical inverse of that construct, thus permitting the assumption about the local valid of "true" and "false" of the "Boolbar" referential. Is it true?
[Software] NO, unwanted dead or alive.
[Raak] It does not fly of its own accord.
[Bismarck] Dead or alive makes no difference, it's the name of the thing I'm after.
Does it begin with P?
Hopefully collapsing the waveform.
Repeating: Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Catching up
[Boolbar] NOT a bird.
[DrQxm] Colour is not important.
[Tuj] One of the words on the card does.
A mushroom or fungus?
Macroscopic?
[Bism] NO, not fungus. [DrQx] errrmmm... This cannot be seen by the unaided eye.
botulism?
Applause from the audience
[Software] NO.
A bacterium?
A virus?
[Bismarck] Yes! Audience start clapping.
[Raak] NO.
Yeast?
Salmonella?
Clostridium botulinum?
Would Porton Down take any interest in it?
Wee beasties
[Raak] NO, that's a fungus.
[Software] NO, this won't poison you.
[Rosie] NO.
[drquuxum] NO, though for all I know they might take a passing interest.
Amoeba?
Does it have a flagellum?
[Raak] NO, amoebae are eukaryotic.
[drquuxum] NO flagella.
E. coli?
Streptococcus thermophilus?
Back-to-bacteria
[Raak] Audience starts clapping, but it's NO.
[Software] Audience now cheering! Still NO.
Staph?
Lactobacillus delbrueckii subsp. bulgaricus?
?
[Raak] N.
[Software] NO. You were hot, but you're cooling.
Reminder: One of the words begins with Tuj P.
Pneumococcus?
Oohs from the audience
[drquuxum] NO, we're going around the answer without quite getting there.
Streptococcus pneumoniae?
© Lurkers Я Us
Top of the class
CdM has it! Streptococcus pneumoniae it is. Take this very small baton along with the Mrs Joyful prize for raffia work and look smug over there while the audience applauds.
Uh-oh
Well, that technically wasn't quite a lurker's victory, because I did ask one previous question. But I have been basically absent here for a long time and have almost forgotten how to play this game. Let's go for an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL AND MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Medusa?
Stony silence from the audience
Medusa? No.
On reflection it might be more accurate to call this: ABSTRACT and partly MINERAL (with ANIMAL connections).
Is it art?
The audience doesn’t know, but they do know what they like
Art? No.
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
Is it a representation, in a mineral substance, of an animal?
The green eye of the little yellow god?
Well-known phrase or saying? The words on the card make up a 12-word phrase (including the definite article) that is certainly not a well-known phrase or saying. However, I will also accept other shorter and more familiar phrases (the most common of which is five words long, including the definite article). That said, the point of the answer is not that it is a well-known phrase, if you see what I mean.
Mineral representation of an animal? *smattering of applause* The mineral piece does include a representation of an animal.
Green eye of yellow god? No.
Is this a part of Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No. *a slight smile appears briefly on the face of a particularly well informed audience member*
Does it exist on this earth?
Is it a representative symbol or logo?
Earthly? Yes.
Swoosh? No.
Is it part of some other body of legend?
Legendary? No. (You should ignore the smiling audience member; I guarantee it won't help.)
Is this found in the works of Shakespeare?
Shakespearean? No.
Is it representative of a person?
Representative of a person? *some audience applause*     Taking this first as a narrow question, following on Raak's question before last, I would now amend my answer to say: Yes, The mineral piece does include a representation of an person. Thinking about the AOTC more generally, it depends a bit on how you interpret the word "representative", but the best answer is No.
The demolishing of the statues of Civil War generals in the South of the United States?
A few o many words...
But is it art?
Would the AOTC have been known in the year 1950?
Confederasing? No.
Art? No. *some laughter from the more cynical members of the audience*
Known in 1950? No. *while this answer is indubitably correct, it nonetheless prompts some discussion in the audience*
Something to do with winning an award or a competition?
To do with winning award or competition? Yes. *sustained applause*
An Oscar?
Connected to a sporting event?
Oscar? No.
Sporting? No.
A trophy or medal of some sort?
Does this refer to them what has won a game on this here page?
Trophy or Medal? *applause* The mineral part of the answer is a medal.
Local game winner? *laughter* The AOTC is not a winner of an MC game. And I am highly confident that no game-winner here has one of the aforementioned medals.
Is this medal awarded for scientific achievement?
Is this medal awarded for bravery?
Is a new medal created for each recipient?
As opposed to passing it around.
Scientific achievement? Yes. *some laughter from exactly the same cynics who we’re laughing previously*
Bravery? No.
New medal for each recipient? Yes. *applause for the question*
The Swedish National Bank's Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel?
Also known as "The Nobel Prize in Economics".
Well, technically, my card says "Sverige Riksbank", which is why it has 12 words as advertised, not 13. But, YES, Raak now has a gold baton with his name inscribed on the edge.
Your Royal Highness, members of the Nobel committee, jealous also-rans, ladies and gentlemen. To begin a brief informal sketch of the work that led to this award, consider the topos of Liesenring-Schmethold operators over a symplectic manifold equipped with the Swale cohomology on its cotangent bundle...(contd. p.94)

The next is MINERAL.

Stone?
By volume, almost entirely stone.
Sculpted into the likeness of something, like me for instance?
Not a likeness.
Is it a mountain?
Not a mountain.
The pyramids?
A heavenly body?
[S] Not the pyramids.
[B] Not a heavenly body.
Inscribed in any way?
Is it unique?
Well solved, btw!
Does it possess Buddha-nature?
Is it a geological formation?
[R] Not inscribed.
[T] Unique.
[S] Mu.
[d] *applause* A geological formation.
Is it entirely within one country?
Is it a desert?
[B] Not within one country.
[d] Not a desert.
Was it formed within the last fifteen million years?
[S] Not formed within the last fifteen million years.
Is water or ice involved?
The African Rift Valley?
Long shot. I'm not sure how old that is.
[d] No water or ice involved, except incidentally.
[R] Not the African Rift Valley.
Is it primarily underground?
[d] I think you could say that any geological formation is primarily underground, even Mount Everest. If the question is whether it is entirely underground, the answer is no.
A specific archipelago?
[D] Not an archipelago.
Mountains?
[B] (Confers with Mycroft) Mountains would be part of it.
Big? (More than 1000 miles in any direction except up)
[R] (polite applause) Big.
A continent?
[C] (more applause) A continent.
Does this continent exist today?
[S] (even more applause) This continent does not exist today.
Rodinya?
[B] Not Rodinya.
Gondwanaland?
[R] Not Gondwanaland.
Pangaea?
Laurasia?
[S] Not Laurasia, but...
[B] Pangaea it is.
Moving quickly on a geological timescale, pausing only to thank the tectonic forces that fashioned this earth with the odd helping hand from extraterrestrial meteorites, read this carefully-arranged eruption which spells

ABSTRACT
(as well as trouble for a few geological theories when it's discovered).

Is it a thing known to exist on the planet Earth?
The theory expounded by the Flat Earth Society?
Themyscira?
Counter-Earth?
Hell?
Hadean epoch
Welcome, welcome to one and all.
[DrQ] It's abstract. Really quite abstract. So yes, if only in our minds.
[Duj] Not the flat-earthers.
[Boo] No Amazons here (with Black Friday coming, that may be a relief)
[Raak] Not our twin from the dark side.
[Gus] Topical in this epoch, but not relevant.
Is it a human feeling?
[Rosie] No, it isn't.
Is it something found in a work of fiction?
Archean eon approaching
[DrQ] It is often used as a word and a concept in many forms of writing.
Let me add that there is one word on the card.
Does it begin with M?
Does it end with M?
Utopia?
Is there an M in the AOTC anywhere?
Mesoarchaean
[Tuj], [Boolbar], [Gusset Login], there is no M.
[Raak]Utopia is nowhere to be seen.
Is it an emotion?
Is it something mythical?
Proterozoic
[Tuj] This cannot be felt.
[Raak] Your myth does not hit.
Is it something that you might find on this website?
[drquuxum] Most definitely.
Time?
Life appears with enough appendages to applaud
(Sup) NO, but the audience wakes up and claps. A bit.
Language?
Does the word on the card have more than six letters?
Wit?
[Boolbar] Not language.
[Superman] No.
[Rosie] Not wit.
Scattered applause here and there for all that.
Is it typographical in nature?
The Ding an sich?
Phanerozoic here, how are you?
Lots of good stuff coming now. Both on the right evolutionary branch.
[DrQuuxum] If you mean ems, ens and that sort of thing, no.
[Raak] No, though in a sense, as you taught us to say, isn't everything?
Is it a figure of speech?
[Tuj] I don't think you could call it that.
A guess?
Cambrian era, when all was Welsh
[Boolbar] Not a guess.
Is the word a noun?
Dinosauria?
[Superman] oh boy, the difficult one... No, but there is a phrase in which this gets nouned.
Is it the title of a film?
Any ideas for a plan of attack anybody?
Time for Snowball Earth
[Tuj] Not a film title. Doesn't begin with P either, but it does begin with a letter that is a rotation or reflection of P.
Beauty?
Tectonically...
[Bool] That's pretty good guess, in a way, but... No.
Could you say it was discovered?
Discovey of time
[Tuj] No. But someone did, I suppose. Probably Eve when you look back at it.
Evil?
[Raak] No, not the good answer.
Related to the Grim Reaper?
Is it a verb?
[Lurk] No, don't think so.
[Soup] no, but as in your previous question, there is a famous phrase where it is treated as a verb.
Does it begin with B?
[Boolbar] Yes!
I have not played this game before . . .
Is it Bang the Drum Slowly?
[KaShu] No but it doesn't half feel like it.
Banter?
Doesn't time fly
[Boolbar] No, still simpler, still more abstract.
Black?
Be?
[CdM] Not a colour.
[Boolbar] That's getting close in abstraction to the answer. Not a verb
Being?
[Raak] Unbearable lightness? No.
Begin?
Borrowing Raak's letters.
[Boolbar] No, but I regret it.
Does the answer on the card have exactly 1 letter "e" in it?
Random guessing now.
Anything to do with mathematics?
Anyone else have any ideas?
A move!
[Boolbar] No "e" whatever, nothing to do with maths.
Look, it begins with "b", it's short (hint: 3 letters), it's not a verb, a noun (notwithstanding a famous phrase in which it gets used as both a noun and a verb),or adjective and I'm regretting having used it. Not enough to give the answer?
But?
The winner
[Raak] finishes the game in style. That'll teach me to take something small and easy.
But...ah. The next is MINERAL.
Is this an astronomical body?
Not an astronomical body.
Unique?
Not unique.
Is it natural?
Not natural.
Predominantly made of metal?
IS it the Angel of the North?
[Tuj] Not predominantly metal.
[Bismarck] Not the AotN.
Are they still being made today?
Still made today.
Made largely of plastic?
Not largely plastic.
Larger than a toaster?
Can be larger than a toaster.
Is it made of brick?
Not made of brick.
Does it have moving parts?
No moving parts.
A piece of furniture?
Not furniture.
An ornament?
Stone?
[B] Can be an ornament.
[S] Not stone.
Made mostly of wood?
Smaller members of the audience fidget and ask, "Are we nearly there yet?" "Soon," say their parents unconvincingly.
Not at all made of wood.
Actually...
On further study, this IS made mostly of metal.
Does it begin with P?
Where these being made before the year 1900?
[T] Does not begin with P.
[B] (a ripple of applause) Were being made before 1900.
Used in the kitchen?
Not used in the kitchen.
Does it have glass in it?
Strictly speaking, the thing itself does not have glass in it.
Is it used to measure something?
Not used to measure anything.
A lamppost?
Not a lamppost.
Summary: mainly metal (but note the "strictly speaking" concerning the glass question), made now and before 1900 (perhaps predominantly the latter, judging by the audience reaction), can be larger than a toaster, not unique, not naturally occurring, no moving parts, not furniture, not a measuring device, not a kitchen item, not a lamppost.
Yeah, well, that pretty much sums it up, innit, Raak?
- A mirror?
Not a mirror.
Connected with illumination?
One could say that it is indirectly connected with illumination.
A window?
Not a window. More indirect than that.
Electrical?
Not electrical.
An oil lamp?
Not an oil lamp.
Usually used or found outdoors?
Not usually used or found outdoors.
Connected with a fireplace?
Nothing to do with a fireplace.
Something to do with beverages?
Nothing to do with beverages.

Hint: the connection with light might be the most promising approach.

Candles?
Does the light connection involve natural light?
[B] Not candles.
[R] Can involve natural light.
Is it connected with photography?
(The audience erupts at this sudden relief from their ordeal.)
It is connected with photography.
Some sort of reflector?
Not a reflector.
Camera lens?
Not a lens.
Photo paper?
(a ripple of applause) Not photo paper. (Made of metal, remember.)
A camera tripod?
(the audience sit with firmly folded arms.) Not a tripod.
A photo plate?
(applause) Yes, a type of photographic plate.
The audience fumes impatiently while the hare decides to take a nap just short of the finishing line.
A lantern slide?
Not a lantern slide.
A speculum?
Copper plate?
[B] Not a speculum.
[R] Yes, it is a copper plate.
A Daguerrotype?
YES, a daguerrotype. Have this framed daguerrotype of the baton used by the conductor at the opening ceremony of the Great Exhibition of 1851.
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas daguerre. Oh yes it is.

Right then, the next one is

MINERAL with an ABSTRACT feel

A sculpture?
(Raak) Nice try but not a sculpture.
is it fictional?
(Superman) Fictional? NO, it's real.
Is it on planet Earth?
(Boolbar) On the earth? NO. *some audience titters*
Can it be seen from Earth?
Is it within planet Earth?
The centre of the Earth?
(Bismarck) Visible from earth? NO. *audience visibly animated*
(Boolbar) NOT within planet earth.
(Raak) NOT the centre of the earth.
The centre of the universe?
(Superman) Centre of the universe? Who knows where that is? It's not the AOTC.
Is it in our solar system?
(Tuj) YES, it's in the Solar System.
A dwarf planet?
Pertaining to the Moon?
(Boolbar) NOT a dwarf planet.
(Dujon) Pertaining to the moon? YES. *audience frenzy*
Tranquillity Base?
(Bismarck) Tranquility Base? NO.
Sounds like a mood-altering alkaloid.
Is it man-made?
(Superman) Man-made? NO.
The dark side of the moon?
(CdM) The dark side of the moon? CLOSE but no cigar. *Confused reaction from audience. Some fighting.*
Eclipse?
(Bismarck) Eclipse? NO.
A specific feature on the far side of the moon?
(CdM) NO, not a specific feature.
The moon itself?
(Superman) The moon itself? NO.
A crater?
(Boolbar) NO, not a crater.
A sea?
(Superman) NOT a sea. I have a feeling the questioners have run past the target.
The Moon-Earth Trojan points?
(Raak) Well, grab me by the Lagranges. Nothing so technical.
The near side of the moon?
(Raak) Near side of the moon? NO. *audience jumps up and down in frustration*
The centre of the moon?
*roll of drums* The Crescent moon?
The roughly 41% of the moon's surface not visible from Earth?
YES! The synchronously rotating BOOLBAR has it. It's The far side of the moon. OK, your go.
Oo! Let's end that phase and begin another. Something hopefully quick as I will be busy soon.

ABSTRACT ANIMAL

I'm not really sure how to play this
Is this a mythical creature?
How to Play
[KagomeShuko] Welcome. Others who've played more will correct me if I get this wrong I'm sure, but I think it's pretty straightforward - ask a question to narrow down the possibilities (just as you have!), then await the answer from Boolbar - later on make specific guesses, once you've an idea. Scroll back to earlier rounds for the flavour of it...
Q: Is it a heraldic animal?
Off to a flying start.
[KagomeShuko] Questions should be those which can be answered with a simple "Yes" or "No". Speaking of which...
(KagomeShuko) Mythical?  YES. But that wouldn't be the first thing you'd think of when the answer on the card is revealed. So I predict a lot of questions which are going to go down the wrong path.
(blamelewis) Heraldic?  NO.
A metaphorical animal?
I think it is better to say
Mythical creature? NO as the AOTC is not a creature of ancient myths itself, but belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth.
(Raak) A metaphorical animal? NO.
The komodo dragon?
As in a not so mythical beast, though I shall attempt to emblazon one on the family crest.
Dragging on.
(Bismarck) Komodo NO.
The Beast from the East?
Originating from a specific work of fiction?
Still skirting around the edges.
(Rosie) Cold weather? NO.
(Tuj) Originating from a specific work of fiction? YES.
Begins with P?
The Hydra?
Was the fiction concerned written in the last twenty years?
[Tuj] P? - pNO.
(Rosie) Hydra? NO.
(Superman) Last 20 years? The original origin, NO.
Are we looking for a family or genus of animals
(Superman) Family or genus? NO
Is it Frankenstein's Monster?
Wild guess :)
(blamelewis) Frankenstein's Monster? NO. But I believe we are starting to head a teeny tad in the right direction.
Double Identity?
Does this monster exist within the same body as a "Dr."?
(KagomeShuko) Monster/Dr.? NO (for both) but some of the audience got exited at the mention of double identity...
Is the source of the myth Scandinavian?
It's a mythtery.
(Superman) From Scandinavian myth? NO
Are we in the world of Tolkien?
(Knobbly) Tolkien related? NO
Is the original origin piece of fiction something that was originally published in English?
(blamelewis) Origin fiction in English? YES
Belonging to a class of mythical creatures, the specific animal was originally from an English piece of fiction from over twenty years ago (but possibly re-used since). Not a heraldic animal, nor a monster, not from Tolkien, not Scandinavian.
Is the animal a canine?
Was a song written about it?
Who let the dogs out?
Note : English language but not necessarily English. And as I put it "belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth" but that won't help much.
(Bismarck) Doggy? NO
(Bismarck) A song? YES (more of a by-product) and at least one other obscure and dreadful song that I know of.
Is the animal bit human?
Reckon the animal bit us the wrong track. There's bet free that aren't heraldic, or monstrous.
Auto-correct strikes again!
(Bismarck) Human? YES (in the broad sense of being human).
Audience give a hearty cheer.
Is it from Chaucer?
Or originally in American English?
Flying Chaucers
(blamelewis) Chaucer? NO   American English? YES
Is it a ghostly apparition in human form?
(blamelewis) Ghostly? Woo! NO
A figure in American folk tales, like John Bunyan?
(Bismarck) Folky? NO
Just to confuse: I've found that the AOTC was a ghost on one occasion but I doubt that will help anyone here.
Was the original American English story written in the 20th century?
[Superman] 20th Century? YES!
Transformation?
Is this a human that turns into another creature?
Is science fiction involved?
*Some of the audience hums at the mention of transformation*
(KagomeShuko) Human that turns into another creature? NO but within their history, the AOTC has had a few methods of "changing" :)
(Bismarck) Science fiction? Hmm, there are many Sci-fi elements that come into this, so it is involved, yes.
I thought this could be simple but I forgot the AOTC has had so much variation over the years.
Little green men?
(Superman) Little green men? I like your thinking, but NO. (The AOTC has met little green men though).
A superhero?
What is AOTC? And hatching?
Is transforming not necessarily transforming, but like hatching from an egg?
(KagomeShuko) AOTC = "Answer on the Card" or in other words : the answer you are looking for. As for the tiny hint about transforming: it is an everyday transformation that we are all capable of doing. The AOTC has a few nifty ways of doing it.
(Raak) Superhero? YES. *cue audience going wild with excitement*
Superman?
(If it's not that, I *bet* it's either a bird or a plane!)
(Superman) Superman? (NO) NO.
(blamelewis) No birds or planes, at least not that I can see. *some audience tittering*
The Incredible Hulk?
Having a smashing time
(Bismarck) Hulk? Incredibly NO.
Is the superhero concerned a baddie?
(Superman) Baddie? NO
A Marvel character?
A marvellous guess, but...
(Bismarck) Marvel? NO
This is bothering me. Everything I can think of that involves superhero persons changing doesn't involve little green men, and everything I can think of involving little green men doesn't involve changing. I'm stuck.
Can this superhero move incredibly fast?
Sorry... been busy
(Raak) Fast? YES. "Incredibly fast"? Possibly. The AOTC can move faster than us, some versions extremely fast. Not usually as fast as the previously mentioned Superman though.
(Bismarck) See note I made just above about changing to KagomeShuko. And "little green men" was only one or two story lines of many. Neither are particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Non-Marvel superhero : that does narrow things down a tad. :)
Anything to do with Star Trek?
Beam me up...
(Superman) Anything to do with Star Trek? NO. (Aside from any actors who have appeared in roles connected with both Star Trek and the AOTC. Oh, and the occasional transporter use.)
(sound of possible penny)
Is the hero occasionally invisible?
penny spins around...
(blamelewis) Invisible at times? *Some muttering in the audience* Well, the AOTC can't become invisible themselves but can use something they own to make themselves invisible (even though within comics and other media they are usually still visible, otherwise you'd be looking at scenery for a few frames!)
Caped crusaders - as a general class?
Supergirl?
(Superman) Caped crusader? Given that the AOTC comes from the same era as most of the famous caped crusaders and has often appeared alongside other caped crusaders then I guess they would belong to that class. However the AOTC does not usually wear a cape (except for ceremonial or official duties).
(Chalky) Nice to see you. And Supergirl? NO *Audience applauds guess though*
Catwoman?
Something from Thunderbirds?
(Raak)  Catwoman?  NO, but I have a comic with Catwoman fighting the AOTC on the cover...
(Bismarck)  Thunderbirds are NO.
Batgirl?
I think the "invisible thing" gave me the answer . . .
Is the AOTC Wonder Woman?
Merciful Minerva!
(Chalky) Batgirl? NO
(KagomeShuko) Wonder Woman? Great Hera! That is the right answer!

Let me pass you this invisible baton... which I'm sure I left around here somewhere.

I THINK I've got this, maybe? Sorry if I don't quite get it yet . . .
OCCUPATION ANIMAL
Is the animal a canine?
Some of the audience gets a little too excited at the mention of a number
A canine? Not even close.
Human?
Is it unique?
Human
The audience laughs, but also hums at human The animals itself isn't a human, but a human can certainly have that occupation.
Unique
There are certainly more than one person that holds the occupation and there are certainly more than one animal of this kind.
A donkey?
(KS) You are giving a little too much away. Your replies can be one-word if you want.
Hmm, I'd have to say that guess is a bit "Ass"inine.
Definitely not a donkey.
Would the word used for this animal also be used to describe an illicit carrier?
illicit
I've not heard of either word being one for an illicit carrier.
Does this animal provide any useful material?
This animal doesn't provide us with any useful materials.
A lion tamer?
Is the animal a bird?
Are we trying to guess a griffin here?
There' no lion about this - no lions and no birds.
Is it unicellular?
O HAI ERRYONE
Does it have a little light? :-)
Cells and lights . . .
While prison cells need more lights, this animal definitely has more than one cell (and nothing "uni" that I know) and definitely doesn't not have a light.
Is the animal a fish?
Here fishy, fishy
No fish jump into your boat. No fish here . . .
Is the animal a mammal?
Many members of the audience start questioning . . .
The animal itself isn't a mammal, but the descriptor of the animal in the front is . . .
Is this a mythological being or beings?
Nothing is mything. This animals is completely realistic.
Does politics come into this?
No politics at play - or work - or rest.
A hybrid creature?
Vroom Vroom
Hybrid? I thought those were cars . . .
Nope, not a hybrid creature
Does theatre come into it?
Four-legged?
Theatre? There's nothing theatre specific, though the creature might come into the theatre and the human descriptor might be in the theatre, too.
Audience oohs and ahs . . .
Four legs? Definitely not a four-legged creature.
An insect?
Is the human reference the word "man" or "woman"?
The audience leans towards Boolbar in anticipation
Yes, indeed, the animal is an insect!
The descriptor that is human could be either a man or a woman, but it doesn't contain either word.
Butterfly catcher?
Is this a flying beastie?
The audience makes uncertain noises
This animal definitely does not catch butterflies (nor is it a butterfly). It can fly, but it usually isn't common to see them flying - nor is it usually a good sign, but that always depends on where they are flying and why . . .
Some sort of beetle?
Nope, not a beetle.
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home...?
Or stay put . . .
Not a ladybird or a ladybug. The human descriptor could refer to either gender and thing in total is two words, not one word.
Some type of ant?
Queen bee?
The audience gasps in anticpation
Not a bee, but definitely some type of ant! Getting warmer!!
The carpenter ant?
Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner, winner, Have a berliner!
Yes, indeed Bismarck, it is the Carpenter Ant!!!!
Well that was a surprise. Nice subject, thanks Mr Shuko. Here we go with a

MINERAL

objectithing for your ongoing delight.

Is it found on planet Earth?
Metalic?
Manufactured?
A spaceship built of stone?
[Boolbar] Earthly? YES.
[Software] Metallic? NO, not essentially.
[Rosie] Artificial? NO.
[Raak] NO. But a very good guess.
A meteorite?
?Oumuamua?
That should have been 'Oumuamua.
Is it in Australia?
Is it unique?
This might be over quite quickly...
[Rosie] NO, not a celestial object
[Raak] NO, see above
[Superman] YES, it's down under
[Tuj] YES, there can be only one.
Uluru?
Well blow down my didgeridoo
Yup, that was easy enough. Ayers Rock did finish a little-known Australian SF story called The Mountain Movers by being revealed as a stone space ship. Nevertheless Rosie gets there first and will take this boomerang-shaped baton for the next round. Well done!
Here we are at last
Talking of boomerangs, I made one in 1974 from instructions in the New Scientist, which explained the aerodynamics. I've still got it; it's probably under a pile of junk in the garage somewhere. It really works but you need an area the size of a football pitch and preferably no wind. Boomerangs are chiral, i.e. -handed and mine, to suit, is a southpaw. Having said all that, it's now deduction time.

The next object, which has but the most tenuous link with steam engines, is:

VEGETABLE and MINERAL

Who knows she (Yes, Bismarck, KagomeShuko is female) is not making any sense, but wanted to be silly
Is it a potato iron?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
A lemon battery?
A fossilized tree?
The Golden Arrow?
(KagomeSuko) Ace silliness, but wide of the mark by some distance.
(Raak) Well-known dehydrating agent? NO.
(Boolbar) Lemon battery? NO. Nor a Van de Grapefruit machine.
(Superman) NOT a fossilised tree.
(Softers) The flesh door? NO, not even when steam-hauled, alas.
Any wood (or trees) in this?
(Boolbar) There ought not to be. Basically, NO.
A bowl of vegetable soup?
Restaurant Car?
(Bismarck) Well, that's scrumptious thought but it ain't the answer.
(Softers) Not a restaurant car. You wouldn't get this in a decent restaurant car.
Coffee in a paper cup?
s/paper/plastic/
Is the mineral metal?
(Raak) Coffee in a paper cup. NO. *audience perks up*
(Superman) Mineral metal? NO. *some tittering among audience*
A carbonated beverage?
A beverage and its receptacle?
Mineral = stone?
(Boolbar) Carbonated beverage? Burp! NO.
(Raak) Beverage + receptacle? NO.
(Softers) Mineral not stone.
Is the mineral part glass?
(Bismarck) Glass? NO. *horrified laughs from the audience*
Is the vegetable human-edible?
Be it liquid at room temperature?
Lovely boomerang anecdote, Rosie :)
Massage oil?
Any chocolate in this?
(Superman) Veg part human edible? YES.*audience applause*
(Tuj) Liquid at room temperature? NO, but *some uncertain and quickly stifled audience reaction*
(Raak) NOT massage oil.
(Boolbar) Alas NO choccy.
(Tuj) I dug out the boomerang - it still exists. Tomorrow I'll see if I can still chuck it - theres a playing field at the back.
Is this anything to do with cookery?
[Rosie] Good luck with the boomerang. I got one as a lad and after reading the instructions and having a long debate about whether '5-15 degrees inclination' was from the vertical or the horizontal, I chucked it into a tree thirty yards away in a dead straight line.
(Bismarck) Cookery? Well, strictly YES, but I wouldn't quite dignifiy it with that term.

(boo meringues) I'm not sure the throwing angle is all that important but you must hold the asymmetric end and impart as much spin as possible. Mine is quite big (14" arms, 2" wide, marine ply) and I wouldn't like to be hit by it.

Is the mineral part edible?
(Bismarck) Mineral part edible? NO, though it probably wouldn't do you much harm.
Some sort of preserve?
[boomer angles] Many happy returns!
(Boolbar) NO, not a preserve.
Hidden textNot even a preserved steam engine
Is this something normally stored in a freezer
?
Clumsy fingers hitting first the enter key by mistake and then managing to bypass the "whoops" button.
Is the mineral part a wrapping?
I'm thinking British Rail sandwich...
(Boolbar) Store in a freezer? NO.
(simons Mith) Mineral part wrapping? Essesntially, YES, though this is not normally referred to as wrapping. But it's not a British Rail sandwich. *audience now showing considerable signs of animation*
q
oops
Is the mineral water?
(Raak) Is the mineral water what? Oh, I see. The mineral is NOT water.
A plastic-wrapped lettuce?
And the subsidiary question - is the mineral plastic?
Is the mineral part sand or soil?
(Superman) Plastic wrapped lettuce? NO. Subsidiaritily, NOT plastic.
(Boolbar) Mineral part NOT sand or soil.
Does the mineral part contain the vegetable part?
Could you swallow one whole?
Yes, I'm more baiting the audience than being useful, but at least I'm not asking about what letter it starts with.
(Raak) In one sense of the word "contain", YES.
(Tuj) You probably could but it would defeat the purpose of the AOTC and people would start worrying about you.
Is the AOTC usually spherical in shape?
(Boolbar) The AOTC is NEVER spherical.
Is the mneral part gold leaf?
(Raak) Mineral part gold leaf? NO, nothing so fancy.
Does it contain chocolate?
Is it something decorative?
(Raak) Contain chocolate? NO. *audience somewhat amused*
(Boolbar) Decorative? NO, very functional.
Is the mineral part made of crystals?
Is the mineral part an eggshell?
Is the mineral part clay?
(Boolbar) Mineral part made of crystals? NO.
(Raak) Mineral part an eggshell? NO.
(Superman) Clay? NOT made of clay.
Recap v1
I'm running out of ideas for minerals here. It's a sort of container but it's not made of any metal, plant material like paper of course, clay, crystal, soil, sand, stone, plastic, eggshell, or glass. What's left? The veggie bit is edible, but not chocolate or lettuce. The whole thing is functional and not spherical and has a link to cookery. It's not too big as you could swallow it whole.
Some sort of medication?
Is hot or boiling water used with the AOTC to make something else?
(Raak) NOT The Tablets.
(Boolbar) Hot water? YES. *audience goes wild*
Tea?
(Raak) Tea? YES, but not quite the AOTC. *audience goes even wilder*
Green Tea?
Is the mineral aluminium foil?
(Softers) NOT green tea.
(Raak) Mineral NOT aluminium (foil or any other form).
A tea caddy?
(Superman) A tea caddy? NO.
Is the mineral mixed with the tea?
(Raak) Mineral mixed with the tea? NO.
If you dropped one of these on a hard floor would it break?
(Raak) It would NOT break. *a few cruel audience sniggers*
Is the mineral rubber (synthetic, presumably)?
Is the mineral some sort of perforated container?
(Raak) NO, not rubber, synthetic or otherwise.
(Boolbar) Perforated container? YES. *audience goes completely potty*
A nylon teabag?
(Raak) Near enough. The AOTC is actually one of those accoutrements of haute cuisine, the teabag. I declare RAAK the winner and hand him the boiling kettle.
The next is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, and ABSTRACT.
Is it everything?
[Boolbar] Not everything.
Animal = human?
Obviously not JRM or BoJo etc
[Software] Partly human.
The statue (Mineral) in my local park of someone riding a large cow and surrounded by other people (Animal) and carrying a cornucopia whence fall fruits of all kinds (Vegetable), which is entitled "Plenty" (Abstract)
[Bismarck] Not a statue.
Is it fictional?
[Boolbar] Can be fictional.
Are horses involved?
[Rosie] No horses (except perhaps abstractly).
Is it proverbial?
Is transport involved?
Not necessarily a steam train, of course.
[B] Not proverbial.
[R] In a sense, everything could be involved with this, but in the sense you're thinking, there is no transport involved.
A product of the brain?
[Dujon] Yes! A product of the brain.
An allegory? (AL / Leg / Egg / allegory)
[Superman] Not an allegory.
A dream?
[Rosie] Not a dream.
Perhaps I should note that the MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL aspects of this are not at all abstract. So not a dream, an allegory, a figure of speech, an idea, a philosophy, or a dread foreboding of doom.
Is the Mineral/Vegetable/Animal part a particular area and its contents?
[Boolbar] If I understand you, yes, this thing is made of its Mineral/Vegetable/Animal parts.
Does geography come into it?
[Bismarck] Geography does not specifically come into it.
Is it the Crown?
[SM] Not the Crown.
Does it cost a lot?
[Superman] Yes, one of these does cost a lot. (This is not a unique object.)
A mind map?
An image of The Buddha?
Long shot.
[S] Not a mind map.
[R] Not an image of the Buddha.
A private island?
[Superman] Not a private island.
An island?
[Boolbar] Not an island of any sort. Not a geographical feature, in fact.
Do these objects have strong links to reproduction?
[Dujon] No link to reproduction.
Any connection to research?
Do you own one?
[Rosie] applause! YES, there is a connection to research.
[Tuj] Yes, I think I could reasonably claim to have one.
A library?
[Rosie] Yes, a library. Have this scroll containing the rules to Mornington Crescent, rescued from the Library of Alexandria.
I say! Bravo, R & R
(Raak) A valuable historic document. Trouble is I can't lift it.

Forever onwards with ABSTRACT with strong ANIMAL connections

.
Is it an ostrich that has yet to be spotted?
Is it wild?
(Boolbar) The elusive ostrich? Unsurprisingly, NO.
Bismarck) *audience cackles* In a restricted sense, to some people, YES .
Rewilding?
Is it fictional?
(Raak) Rewilding? NO.
(Tuj) Fictional? This question is intrinsically unanswerable with present knowledge.
Is it associated with a particular animal species?
Well! There's an intriguing response.
Is it a story of uncertain factuality?
Extraterrestrial?
(Tuj) Particular animal species? YES, but that's not actually very helpful.
(Raak) Uncertain factuality? YES. *mixed audience reaction. Some murmurs of approval; some belly laughs*
(Boolbar) Extraterrestrial? NO, very much earth-bound.
A shaggy dog story?
A stand-up comic's act?
Is it a future event?
Does death play a part in this?
(Superman) Shaggy dog story? NO.
(Raak) Stand-up? *some suppressed giggling* NO.
Tuj) A future event? NOT KNOWN. It is certainly a possibility.
(Dujon) Death? NO.
Is a specific individual involved?
(Raak) Specific individual? NO.
Is sex involved?
(Superman) Sex? The mind boggles. NO, none whatever.
The afterlife?
(Raak) NO, not the afterlife. *cynical giggles from some of the audience*
A prophesy?
The horsemen of the Apocalypse?
(Raak) Some prophecies have been made in relation to this but essentially NO.
(Bismarck) NO, no gee-gees.
Is it related to politics?
(Tuj) Related to politics? YES. *prolonged audience applause*
Related to Brexit?
(Raak) Well, I think that's near enough. It is actually BREXIT and I hand you this toxic stick. Wear gloves.
looks for a Brexiteer's arse to bury it in

The next is MINERAL (I think, mostly) with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it found on the Earth?
It is found on the Earth.
Is it in Europe?
Is it a weapon?
[B] Some are in Europe.
[S] Hmm...not, strictly speaking, a weapon.
Is it a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not a geographical feature.
A meteorite?
[Software] Not a meteorite.
Is it a monument?
[Bismarck] Not a monument.
Human made?
[Boolbar] Yes, human made.
Did it originate in Germany?
[Superman] Not from Germany.
Is it predominantly metal?
[Tuj] Not metal.
Did any of these exist over 1000 years ago?
[Boolbar] None of them existed over 1000 years ago.
Millennium Stones?
[Software] Not Millennium Stones (whatever those are).
Is it a work of art?
[Rosie] applause! It is art.
One or more Henry Moore mobiles?
[Bismarck] Not by Henry Moore. Not a mobile.
Does it have any watery connections?
[SM] No watery connections.
Is it an island wrapped by Christoph?
[Superman] Not an island wrapped by Christoph.
Is it associated with any particular date(s)?
Is it a representation of a fictional character?
[SM] No particular date.
[B] Some examples are representations of fictional characters.
Are these all by one artist?
[Boolbar] Applause! Works of a particular artist.
The Dali museum in Barcelona?
[Bismarck] Not Dali.
Hm, are they Banksies?
[SM] A winner! Yes, A Banksy graffito is the words on the card. Excuse me while I run this baton through a woodchipper before presenting it.
Whoops, now I've gotta think of one.

Um.

OK. These are usually MINERAL.

Even worse, I gotta remember what I picked!
Garden Gnomes?
Decorative?
Stones?
No again.
Trolls?
... No.
Found on Earth?
Oh good, a YES at last. Found on Earth.
Is there just one of these?
No, many.
Are these likely to be found in Antarctica?
No, not likely. (Very minor hint in comments)
Man-made?
YES, without exception. Well, um, except for all the ones that are woman-made, or any other gender variations.
Is it likely to be found in the home of an average Morniverser, if there is such a thing?
Yep, they're present even in a Crescenter's house.
Used for preparing or eating food?
YES. [Applause]
A chopping board?
No. Besides, I wouldn't have said chopping boards were usually mineral; I'd tend to assume wooden first, mineral second.
Is it a cast iron pan?
Nuh uh.
A container?
A tool for turning pieces of food into smaller pieces of food?
A piece of cutlery?
[Raak] Not really. [Bismarck] YES. [Audience checks contract, then whoops stamps and cheers.]
A Fork?
Which way shall I go?
No, not a fork. You're so close!
A spork?
I thought that might happen :-)
No. But you're even closer than Boolbar was.
A sporknife?
No, and it's probably not spopsticks either.
Does this magnificent utensil have a brand name ending in "ayd"
[Dujon] Alas, no.
Does it rhyme with 'swoon'?
YES! [Stretchers arrive to ferry out a couple of audience members who fainted from excitement.]
Can it be preceded by the word "dessert"?
YES, it can. By Jove you're really narrowing it down now.
Can it be made from wood?
I can see a theme coming through here.. it must be a - but I'll let Raak answer that.
Wood? YES.
Has the existence of this thing been notably denied?
Can this object be bent, as if by magic?
YES. They may even have been a Japanese anime about it, although I could be wrong there.
[Raak] Utensil denial: YES.
Should one count these at the end of a dinner party, especially if a guest has talked overmuch of his honour?
Utensil census: YES.
Can two of these be used as a makeshift percussion instrument?
Utensil chorus: YES.
A fpoon?
CdM if the winner!
Utenfil claffification: YEF!
I waf ftarting to get worried you wouldn't get it.

Thankf to the great generofity of Raak I have hundredf of tiny (but rather fplintery) batonf to paff over. Here, have thif one.

Fo clofe yet fo far ;^)
Ahem *taps micro* Chalky? You there?
Well I have plenty more tiny batons if anyone else wants one...
[CdM] Is it the concept of suspense?
How about a Collective Consciousness round?
I shall channel my inner CdM and answer, NO.

Is it edible?

I can feel in my water...
that the answer is YES.

Is it an animal?

By the pricking of my thumbs...
that too is a YES

Does it begin with a P?
Consulting the seaweed...
Alas, that is a NO

Does it live in water?

The flight of the birds says...
that is also a NO

Is it a ...bird?

Tossing the I Ching sticks...
gives the answer YES.

Is it a duck?

NO, I don't think it's a duck.
Carry on, please
Yikes! Sorry! Forgot all about having made that guess.
Is it a well-known pie filling?
According to my latest tarot reading ..
It might be
Ha! I've got it - it's an ostrich, and it's over there!
*Escaping from pie factory*
Bugger! *hides in London underground network*
'S a tunnel. Scoddaby
Rural Lincolnshire invoked.
What, an edible tunnel? Lincs people are weird.
Well, that's golf for you. Is it......a NIBLICK?
Enough of ostriches
The next challenge is Animal

Is it human?
I was beginning to think that everyone had gone on strike.
No, Tuj, nor does it start with a 'P'.
Is it a mammal?
Is it an individual?
Does it... oh! Um... Is it alive?
(Boolbar) NO, Sir, although it might be described as such.
(Raak) NO
(Tuj)YES
Is it native to Australia?
Surprise! The audience gasps for air.
(Rosie) YES
Be it a monotreme?
Single stringed tremes
(Tuj) NO.Be it a treme or not, it don't lay no eggs, Sarr.
Was it once a treme but now a sadly burnt out ex-treme?
A marsupial?
Burnt alive?
(Rosie) NO. Is not New Orleans still jiving?
Pickpockets?
(Raak) YES.*The audience comes again alive*
A wallaby?
Gotta be. :-)
Hopping around the AOTC?
(Rosie) NO. *The audience sighs and goes back to sleep*
A collective noun of wombats?
Mythical?
Wombaticate dreaming?
(Bismarck) NO.
(Raak) NO, not at all - see the earlier answer to Tuj
In Australia?
*sighing*
(Software) I refer you to Rosie's first post in this game.
A quoll?
Quoll or quill the pen is mightier...
(Bismarck) NO.
Tasmanian Devil?
(Bismark) Sorry, been away
That Van Dieman fella?
Sorry, Softers, the answer is NO. In fact there are none of these animals on that wonderful island.
A mob of kangaroos?
Is it singular?
Individual
Individuals and 'roos
(Bismarck) Hardly (i.e. NO)
(Kago) Certainly not (i.e. also NO)
Koala?
Piss Pots?
(Software) YESSSS!
I pass to you a rough but furry baton. Be aware though that it has the propensity to leak.
Gosh! Is it me? I have been dozing.
Hmmm. Let me see: Ah, yes. Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connexions.
A human activity?
A piece of art?
An academic study of some kind?
42?
An alarm clock?
You deserved that, Software. :)
[Rosie]Something to do? Yes
[Bismark]Arty farty? No
[SM]Lurning? No
[Raak]Hitching? No
[Dujon]Wake up call? No
Physical law?
Anything to do with politics?
Related to agriculture?
[Raak] Physics? No
[Rosie] General incompetence? Up to a point, yes
[Dujon] Farmer Giles? No
Using a machine?
A law?
To do with Brexit?
[Superman] Mechanics? No.
[Bismarck] Legal? No (a smattering of weak claps in audience)
[Raak] The 'B' word? How dare you? No
A proverb?
[Raak] Proverbial? No
Bureaucracy?
Something to do with the armed forces?
[SM] Officialdom? - Yes (some of the audience clap)
[Dujon] Military? No
Hm, a little bit political and a little bit bureaucratic. But not military or educational. Religious?
An organization?
[SM] Faith? No (someone in the audience claps)
[Raak] Organization? No
The House of Commons?
[Bismarck] The madhouse? - Definitely No.
Red tape?
Health and Safety bollocks I mean culture?
I am on holiday for a couple of weeks so responses may be intermittent
[Duj] Officialdom? - No a smattering of weak claps from the audience)
[Rosie] More than my job's worth? - No
To do with a shared interest or activity?
I'm back!
[Raak]Common interest? YES some claps from audience
Are maps involved?
The Morniverse?
Sporting?
[Boolbar] Cartography? NO
[Raak] Here? NO but of course it does overlap with the AOTC
[Bismarck] Sporting? YES - in certain circumstances a few claps from the audience
Games of the board, card, and screen kind?
A trivia game?
A game of any other sort?
[All above] Nothing to do with games per se. A few claps from the audience
Distraction desperately engaged in to avoid despair at the sins of the world?
There might be a word for this, but I can't think what it is.
Commuting?
A shared human activity of a bureaucratic nature, possibly related to politics, which may involve sport or the Morniverse in some way.
[Raak] Hermit like? NO
[Superman] Daily grind? NO Hint: maybe the exact opposite - a couple of random claps from audience.
The Lotus Position ?
Competition?
Opposite of commuting ... hm, is that travelling for pleasure, or staying in one place while stuff comes to you? Visiting ? Having things delivered ?
Online shopping?
[To expand on the thought I had earlier]
[SM] Lazy mall? NO audience chuckles I suppose this could be an aspect of the AOTC which BTW has two words.
How remiss of me. * cleans glasses *
[Bismarck] Yoga stuff? - NO
[Dujon] Adversaries?- NO
Are we losing the will to live
Computers?
[Superman] Computers - NO.
Hint: AOTC 2 words. There is a limited number of these. The term refers to the UK only.
Give way?
Is there a connection to the calendar?
[Bismarck] Road signage, I presume. - NO
[SM] Dates? - YES * audience claps furiously *
A bank holiday?
Bingo!
[Bismarck] You are on the money. Hands over damp baton.
Oohh, ta ever so much. I'll spend the money down at the seaside.
The game commences...
This one is Vegetable in its essence.
Is it tomato ketchup?
Is it alive?
Is it something extracted from a plant?
Beginning with 'P'?
Is it cubic?
[Simons Mith] NOT a table condiment.
[Rosie] NOT living.
[Raak] YES, it is extracted from a plant.
[Software] NOT beginning with "P".
The audience that made it back from the interval are engaged in polite applause.
Does it begin with E?
[Softers] Cheeky :D
[Tuj] Nice to hear from you. Let me state that there are two words on the card, NEITHER beginning with "E".
A spice?
Is it cubic and am I repeating myself?
A poison?
Is this generally brewed in hot water prior to ingestion?
[Raak] NOT a spice.
[Boolbar 1] NOT cubic, though this does usually have a geometric shape.
[Boolbar 2] Sorry, dear.
[Rosie] NOT a poison.
[Dujon] NOT a hot drink, but it is cooked involving a little water. The audience is still showing signs of interest.
Pasta?
Processed in some way?
[Raak] NO, definitely not Italian.
[Software] Hmmm... YES, on balance, in the sense that this requires mixing of ingredients and cooking.
The audience is maintaining a polite silence.
A cake?
Bovril?
A primary ingredient like sugar for example?
[Raak] NOT a cake.
[Super] NOT Bovril.
[Software] NOT sugar, though it is the major ingredient.
Smartphones have made their appearance among the audience. Bored? Surely not...
Is fruit involved?
Fairy/Candy Floss?
[Raak] NO, not as such.
[Dijon] NO, but that deserves a round of applause.
Hoots and skirls from the Scots in the audience, mumbles of approval from the Yorkshiremen. Some muted cries of "Not bad!" from the polite seats.
Glacé cherries?
A well-known Scottish delicacy, they are.
Hot chocolate?
A sugar basket?
[S.M.] NO, Nice try but no fruit.
[SW] NO, not a drink.
[R] Getting close, at least as far as the sugar goes, but a bit too high-class. Still a NO.
The part of the audience who know what a sugar basket is give a restrained round of applause.
… Glacé potatoes?
1) Toffee? 2) Everton mints?
[SimonsM] Sell that idea to McCain's!
[Simons Mith] NO. Great idea though.
[Superman] Nice thinking! Toffee is almost a yes, it could be argued that it's an ingredient, Everton mints are getting closer, but NO!
The interest of the audience is being maintained, with some "Ooohs!" showing their appreciation.
So not glacé haggis either. Fudge
Tablet?
Scotch tablet?
(The second of those was supposed to replace the first. )
Caramel?
[Simons Mith] NOT fudge. Quite the opposite, down-to-earth sort of thing, this.
[Raak] NO, although that is the name of the next-but-one release of Android (with built-in joke).
[Software] NOT caramel.
This is all going a bit soft. Murmurs heard among the audience.
A boiled sweet?
[Raak] YES it is made in that way.
Sensation in the audience.
Audience snoring
Two words on the card...
Is it some sort of mint?
[Boolbar] Maybe mint flavouring is available, but the AOTC is not actually a mint.
Hint: it doesn't come from Yorkshire
Brighton Rock?
[CdM] What, the book by Graham Greene? But seriously, NO, but that is so close. Try a different coast.
Audience give thunderous applause.
Gone quiet in here...
Jailhouse Rock?
Surely there's a prison somewhere that makes its own...
Does the name on the rock also relate to a tower?
Is the place one of which John Clute, the science fiction critic, remarked that it was the first time he had seen pigeons pecking at human vomit in the streets?
[Simon's Mith] No, although there is a prison not too far away.
[Dujon] Yes indeed.
[Raak] Among other things Mr Clute was shocked at, yes indeed. No doubt Canada is more cultured.
A polite hush descends, breathlessly awaiting the answer...
Plymouth Rock?
Got it, surely!!
The tranquillity is breached by [CdM] getting it wrong. Not Inchcape Rock, Fraggle Rock or any other mineral, just to save you the trouble.
Audience murmurs reach force three.
Morecambe Rock?
Liverpool rock's more usually termed 'Mersey Beat', isn't it?
[CdM] YES!! Actually NO, but I'm getting fed up.
[Simon's Mith] Other than those witnesses to global warming, the Arctic Monkeys. Please stick to the subject.
The audience has formed an action group and are shouting "What do we want? The Answer! When do we want it? NOW!"
Fleetwood Rock?
Am I getting warmer?
Blackpool Rock
Gotta be!
I was going to say that CdM was close enough for me, but Blackpool rock it is, so Rosie cannot be denied. Rosie will now take this sweet baton (not that end, I've been sucking it there) and note that it has the word WINNER written all the way through!
Audience clap Rosie politely
Good heavens, I've won. There's lucky, inni' aye.

We'd better quickly have another one.

This is ABSTRACT and absolutely nothing whatever to do with steam engines.

Everything that has nothing whatever to do with steam engines?
(CdM) Multiple Choice answers are forbidden in that they violate the essential rigour of the Morniverse.
Does music come into it?
(Superman) Music? NO.
Philosophical?
(Bismark) NO, nothing to do with philosophy.
Would this be related to the sub-conscience rather than conscienceness?
(Dujon) NO, nothing to do with thought processes.
Is it a method or plan of some kind?
(Simons Mith) No, not a method or plan.
A saying?
(Raak) NOT a saying.
Weather related?
A measurement?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *thunderous (sic) applause*
(Simons Mith) A measurement? YES. *slight murmurs of disapproval*
A record?
(Raak) NO, not a record.
Is it localised?
(Bismarck) Localised? YES, sort of.
The eye of a hurricane?
Climate change?
(CdM) NOT the eye of a hurricane.
(Raak) NOT Climate Change.
Is it too darn hot?
(Superman) Too darn hot? NO, but *considerable audience murmurings*
Something meteorologists do?
(Raak) Something meteorologists do? NO. The AOTC is one word, a noun.
Scorchio?
... actually that's a verb. Wrong again. Hi Rosie
Is it 'isobar'?
(Chalky) Hello, m'dear, nice to see you again. Unfortunately your suggestion is wrong. Isn't scorchio an adjective? If I may indulge myself I would suggest that it is a Welsh verb, the -io- ending being the giveaway. Could mean "to burn the toast" &c.
(Simons Mith) NO, not an isobar, nothing quite so technical.
Weather?
Fog?
(Raak) NO, not weather.
(Bismarck) NO, not fog.
Temperature?
(Chalky) Temperature? NO. *some murmurs from the audience*
Drought?
YESS! Superman has it. The total absence of aqueous entities. Take this baton and give it a wipe 'cos it's been standing about in the rain.
Ze next round
Counters set to zero, AOTC generator enclenched, combobulator aligned, sphinx tube at operating temperature, and posting a live Facebook stream. Ok, that should do it. This is MINERAL, and may God bless all that sail in her.
A bathtub?
Is it a single object?
Mainly metal?
Episode 1, in which certain questions are raised
[Simon] NO
[Raak] NO
[Rosie] On balance, and after some research showing that no-one is too clear what it is made of, NO.
Is it found on Earth?
Does water come in to it?
Chapter 2, in which questions do not reveal answers
[Raak] On balance, NO, in the sense that the earth is not its natural habitat, but reports have mentioned it being found here.
[Bismark] NO.
Is it found in the Solar System?
Edscottite?
A hot plasma?
Section 3, in which our thoughts take us far away
[Raak] NO, although some "reports" etc. etc.
[CdM] NO, but that gets a big round of applause from the audience.
[Rosie] NO.
The material of an extremely dense object?
Is it found in our galaxy?
Dark matter?
Part 4, in which Jane realises that the Comte de Chambord is up to no good, and she says "NO" a lot.
[Rosie] NO.
[Raak] The galaxy being big an' all, who knows, there may well be some. But otherwise NO, though some "reports" etc. etc.
[Bism] That gets a round of applause only for the inventiveness. NO.
Is it fictional?
Is its existence anywhere speculative?
Kryptonite?
Fit the Fifth, in which all is revealed
[Rosie] YES. Now we're getting somewhere.
[Raak] Also YES.
[Simon] YES. Kryptonite it is.
Studio tapes of hard static played, imitating applause.
Please take this green, glowing baton, it's been having a bad effect on me.
Hm, well this green otherworldly glow I'm seeing is inspiring me. Let's try... VEGETABLE.
Edible?
Is it processed or in a natural state?
[Rosie] NO
[Superman] Also NO.
Wood?
[Raak] NO.
Some sort of fungus?
Fictional?
Beginning with 'P'?
[Raak] NO.
[Boolbar] AYE.
[Software] NO.
Liftwood?
I'm asking for Stevie, here
[Bismevie] NO.
Is this a piece of botany taken from the Harry Potter books?
The Luggage?
[Raak] NO. But that's another cool idea
[Superman] NO. Oops, nearly missed that one. Sorry.
Grass?
[Bismarck] NO.
A flower?
An alga?
[Bismarck] YUP.
[Superman] NO.
So we're looking for an imaginary, inedible flower which doesn't appear in Harry Potter.
[Bismarck] YES!
Is it from a television program?
[Boolbar] YYYYES.
Weed?
(from Bill and Ben. Not that I remember that programme. Definitely not. My grandparents used to tell me about it.)
[CdM] NO.
Clue?
I'll give out a clue on Sunday if there's no movement.
Is it from a sci-fi programme?
[Boolbar] AFFIRMATIVE.
Is it carnivorous?
[CdM] ABSATIVELY.
Were triffids carnivorous?
Does it say "FEEED MEEEE"?
A winner
[Bismarck] YES. Well I thought they were. Don't they sting you, then leave you to rot and soak up the juices? Perhaps that technically counts as something else. But AIUI even carnivorous plants only use meat as a dietary supplement.
[Raak] No, just clackclackclack as far as I remember.
Bismarck has it.
I'll just put on a nice thick pair of gloves and then hand over this... baton.
And so it begins again...
No way I am touching that thing. Right, here is the mystery voice to tell the audience, but you lot only get to know that it's
VEGETABLE.
Let's do it traditionally
Forgot the line. So let's see your ideas for another
VEGETABLE.
Fictional?
[Boolbar] NO, my in-laws had one.
Often found potted?
[Dujon] NEVER found potted.
A tree?
Air plant?
You can get trees in pots. You just need a bigger pot. Or a smaller tree.
[Raak] NOT a tree. Though it might once have been one.
[Simons Mith] NOT an air plant.
Unique?
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An item of furniture?
[Simons Mith] YES, it is an item of furniture. Much braying and waving of IKEA catalogues in the audience.
A dresser?
I'm thinking, a slightly uncommon item of furniture.
Is it for putting things in?
[Simon's Mith] NO, not a dresser. The AOTC might have turned up in the eponymous film, I shouldn't wonder.
[Raak] I feel it would make a rather unwieldy tool, so NO.
Did Dr. Caligari have one?
[Raak] He might well have done, though AFAIK there wasn't one in his cabinet. So NO.
Is it commonly upholstered?
Half-way there, and it's looking good...
[Simons Mith] NEVER upholstered, commonly or not.
A lampstand?
[Raak] NOT a lampstand. Note for Chelsea supporters: there is no such thing as a "tand."
Is it for sitting upon?
[Boolbar] NOT for sitting on.
A hatstand?
A footstool?
A hammock?
A set of sstocks?
*stocks
[Simons Mith] NOT a hat stand, NOR a hammock.
[Software] NOT a footstool.
[Raak] NOT a set of stocks.
Is it for sleeping on?
Is it a notable example of a whatever-it-is?
Does it have a pointy end?
[Raak] NO, that is not its primary function.
[Simons Mith] NO, this is a generic item.
[Boolbar] There MAY BE examples that have finials and thingummies, but it isn't necessary for the definition of the whatever-it-is.
Is it a dumb waiter?
A church pew?
A lectern?
Definitely not for sitting on.
BTW the mental picture I'm painting of your in-laws is getting stranger by the minute.
Your twenty questions are up...
[Superman] NOT a dumb waiter.
[Raak] NOT a church pew.
[Simon's Mith, who henceforth will be spelt with an apostrophe as I can't be bothered correcting it any more] NOT a lectern.
A hint - found in a house.
Usually found in a kitchen?
Do IKEA sell them?
[Boolbar] NOT usually found in the kitchen.
[Raak] YES, in a very stripped-down Swedish sort of way.
Do you put things on this thing?
[Raak] YES, you can put things smaller than this thing on this thing.
A shelf?
[Software] NO, not a shelf, but the thingy is shelfish to an extent.
A mantelpiece?
[Simon's Mith] NO, the whatchamacallit is not a mantelpiece.
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Going back to the fundamentals...
[Raak] YES, the thingy is larger than a toaster.
A Welsh dresser?
You're on the right lines, look for the curios. [Superman] NO, the rabbit is not a Welsh dresser.
Is it for displaying knick-knackery, bric-a-brac, trinkets, curios, and the like?
[Raak] YES, that is the most common usage of the whatever-it-is.
A cabinet of curiosities?
Although I have a hard time imagining IKEA stocking one.
[Raak] Well, there's the KASSEBY...
[Raak] NO, not a cabinet. IKEA still have a thing under the name of some fruit that could be described as the AOTC, but the version I found when the subject came up first has now disappeared from the catalogue.
I have no idea. Is that it?
Is it a display case sold with a subscription to receive a uniquely designed collectible thimble every month until you build up a treasured heirloom to pass on to your descendants, who will after a decent but short interval (say, on return from the funeral) chuck it in the bin?
People who collect thimbles (it says on a thimble-collecting site) are known as Digitabulists. How very depressing.
Ideas for names of occasional furniture seem to be drying up
[Raak] NO.
[Superman] YES, the thingamajig does seem to be something you don't know.
A vitrine?
[Raak] NO. No glass involved.
Does it normally stand on the floor?
[Raak] YES. The audience has got up a petition to give you the prize for sheer effort.
Does it typically have (just) one leg?
Does it have wheels?
[Raak] Not sure if that's typical - the one my in-laws have has only one leg. Let's say YES.
[Simons Mith] NO wheels on this whatsit.
Would one typically put a specific type of item on this thing?
Is it usually found in a corner of a room?
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, I thank that's fair.
All gone away..
Spoiler alert...
Is it characteristic of a particular region of the world?
An umbrella stand?
[Raak] I would have sworn that the whatsit was peculiarly British, but my in-laws also have one and they're Belgian. It was quite a culture shock.
[Software] NO.
An elephant's-foot wastebasket?
Is it foldable?
Is it usually fixed to a wall as well as standing on one leg?
[Raak] NO, perish the thought.
[Simons Mith] NO. The idea will be passed to MFI, though, you could be on to something.
[Boolbar] NO.
Does anything hang from it?
[Raak] NO, the thingummy does not so serve.
Is it portable or mobile?
I found some old-fashioned portable desks and things that seem to fit all the constraints applied so far.
Is it some type of table?
A tallboy?
[Boolbar] NO, not some kind of table.
[Raak] NO, not a tallboy, though I have no doubt that a room with a tall boy, a vitrine, an elephant's foot basket and maybe a Welsh dresser would also have one of the AOTC.
Is there a specific type of thing that this thing is designed to have put on it?
[Raak] NO, quite the opposite.
A drawer?
Is the Ikea LILLÅNGEN End Unit an example?
[Software] NO, drawers are very rare.
[Raak] SORT OF, but these whatchamacallits are always open framed, so you'd have to take the sides and door off, probably ditch the MDF for real wood, make the shelves smaller as they rose (optional, but traditional), and make the frame somewhat decorative carved.
I asked the Internet again and while you can still buy these things (including a modern plastic and aluminium version which gave me a frisson of horror), their heyday was before WW1.
And the winner is...
To be decided in a celebrity boxing match.
Late inspiration
It's not a box is it? A one-legged box?
Does part of the thing rotate?
Simons Mith] NO, not a box. Clues have been made as to the nature of the wotsit, though.
[Boolbar] NO, it doesn't rotate. No mechanism involved.
A plant stand?
No self-respecting Victorian would go without an Aspedestra.
[Software] This is a typical usage of the AOTC, as a stand for aspidistras and objets d'art... but it has a specific name, so NO.
A jardinière?
[Raak] NO. That's too specific, you can put bric-à-brac, mementoes and whatnot on this as well.
A cachepot?
[Raak] NO.
A whatnot?
Ah, grandchildren, gather round and I'll tell you the story of The Never-Ending Game.
Or you can ask Uncle Software, he did win it.
Congratulations - a whatnot it is! Take this baton-shaped objet d'art once owned by a lady from North Wales and give us your estimation of the insurance value.
Bugger! Now I must think of something.
OK, here goes: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE , that's it.
Is there a tree of some kind
Customarily eaten?
Is this a symbiosis?
A vegan? ;)
[Boolbar] In a way sometimes, YES.
[Raak] YES
[Bismarck] NO
[Dujon] Vegan? There's a thought. NO.
A sandwich?
A pie?
Is it cooked?
[Raak] Sarnie> NO
[Boolbar] Who ate them all? YES but not the AOTC
[Superman] Oven ready - or is that a hackneyed phrase? YES
A pie containing four-and-twenty blackbirds?
Is the vegetable bit fruit?
A mince pie?
[Raak] Close but no cigar
[Bismarck] Fruity? Oh YES, but
[Rosie] is on the money! YES. - Hands over the chocolate log shaped baton.
WOO! I jes lurve Min Spies. Sorry, I've had to eat the baton before it melts.

And the next object is ABSTRACT

Is it the thought of eating a mince pie?
Christmas?
Is it the answer?
(Boolbar) Nice, but alas, no.
(Raak) No - thank God
(Superman) No. I'm not clever enough to do recursiveness.
An English idiom?
Connected with the current season?
Whether that be winter, Christmas, Kwanzanukkawali, etc.
Does it begin with P?
(Software) Not an idiom.
(Raak) Not seasonal in any way.
(Tuj) Begins with a P? YES.
Is it property ?
Mathematical?
An art form?
A state of mind?
(Bismarck) Property? Only in the sense that many people have one of these, but realistically NO.
(Boolbar) There is a connection with maths but it is so broad and vague as to be worthless. So, NO.
(Raak) I doubt even Tracey Emin could make art out of this, so NO.
(Software) NO, not a state of mind.
A paradox?
(Raak) A paradox? NO.
A science?
A pseudonym?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a science.
(Raak) A pseudonym? NO, but *some audience animation*.
Is it psychological?
(Bismarck) Psychological? NO.
Profession?
(Simons Mith) NO, not a profession.
A nickname?
Does it come from the Greek?
(Softers) A nickname? Strictly speaking NO but the AOTC does have some of the properties of a nickname. *alert members of the audience perk up*
(Radox the Green) NO, not from the Greek.
A patronym?
I was wondering about that earlier.
(Simons Mith) Like all Welsh surnames? NO, not a patronym.
A secret identity?
An acronym?
(Softers) An acronym? YES. *whoops of delight from thosemembers of the audience who know what an acronym is*
Is it a socio-economic classification?
I can't think of a 'P' word for it, but things like NIMBYs, DINKies, CHAVs, AMRAAMs and so on.
(Simons Mith) Socio-economic classification? NO.
(Raak) A secret identity? YES. *great audience animation*
Peter Parker?
Personal Identification PIN Number?
Does the acronym contain more than three letters?
Is it letters after your name?
SIMONS MITH has it! It's a PIN. Well done.

The baton passes on.......

All right, let's go for MINERAL
Is there just one of this?
[Raak] NO.
Are there just fourteen of these?
Is this a manufactured object?
Is it found on Earth?
[CdM] No.

[Rosie] Yes.

[Boolbar] Yes.

Is the quantity of these expressive as the sum of two primes?
[Radox The Green] Why yes, yes it is.
Is it metallic?
Are you assuming Goldbach's Conjecture?
[Software] No.

[Raak] No.

Made of plastic?
Is it liquid?
[Raak] No.

[Bismarck] No.

Is it made of concrete?
Are there fewer than fourteen of these?
Is it a memorial?
[Raak] No. Although I presume some are.

[CdM] No.

[Superman] No again.

Could the average Morniverser lift one of these?
Man-made?
Is it a type of gemstone?
Are these all in one country?
[Rosie] No.

[Raak] YES

[Superman] No.

[Boolbar] No.

A building?
Does it begin with P?
Bigger than a toaster?
[Superman] Nay.

[pTuj] Nay.

[Raak] Aye.

Bigger than an elephant?
Does it emit musical sounds?
But is it art?
Do they come in pairs?
[Raak] No

[Bismarck] No.

[Tuj] No.

[Boolbar] Also no.

Are they very valuable?
A means of transport?
Ceramic?
[Raak] No.

[Rosie] ... No.

[Superman]... No.

Is it a rock?
[Bismarck] No. What would count as a man-made rock?
[SM] Wouldn't a lump of concrete be a man-made rock?
Can you buy one on Amazon?
Anything to do with gardening?
[Raak, man-made rocks] I suppose. I suspect a geologist might be harder to convince.

[Amazon] No, they don't sell 'em. That eliminates a lot.

[Rosie] No, not a thing.

Is it a tool?
Fake rocks for sale and methods of manufacture are common on The Internet...
[Bismarck] Not a tool.

[Fake rocks] This is getting philosophical, but if it's a fake rock, it's not a real rock, and if it's not a real rock, it's not a rock. Right?

One of the Milton Keynes concrete cows?
[Rosie] No. Concrete had already been eliminated.
Is it made of stone?
[Superman] Nope.
Does it require electricity?
Are they usually wet?
[Tuj, electrickery] No.

[Boolbar, moistery] No, not even in Ireland or New Zealand. I admit in Kiwiland it might be close.

just a question
So if mineral is chosen, is that just like a thing that isn't an animal or a plant (vegetable)?
[KagomeShuko] It does tend to get a bit blurry if you look at it too closely. I think we'd all agree coal and plastic are mineral, for example. [But if someone does pipe up to disagree, that shows it's even closer than I'd thought.]
Are these concentrated in one particular area of the world?
Are they typically fixed to the ground?
Is anyone offering one on eBay?
question - is this correct
Being American, mineral is something extremely specific. One site told me, "English people define everything as being either Animal (if it is alive) Vegetable (if it grows) or Mineral (if it isn't alive, doesn't grow and comes from the ground.)"
[Rosie, concentration] Not really.

[Boolbar, fixed] Yes. You won't find any flying ones.

[Raak, eBay] No.

[KagomeShuko, minerals] I'd say that's a reasonable usage for this game. But a dead cat is still animal, and oxygen is still mineral even though it doesn't come out of the ground.

Does it have a common use?
[Superman, common use] Yes.
Do people usually make these themselves?
[Raak, self-made] No.
A natural phenomenon?
Is it a bomb shelter? A septic tank? A port-a-potty?
[Raak, natural] No, man-made.

[KagomeShuko] No, no, and thrice no. But those are the closest guesses yet.

Bollards.
Does glass come into it?
[Boolbar, the same to you!] No.

[Bismarck, glass] No.

Would the Average Morniverser, if there is such a thing, have one of these in his/her house?
[Rosie, average Morniverser] That's harder to estimate. On balance I think Yes.
Does one place things in this?
[Rosie, xxxxplace] No... but I think you're getting warmer
An Aga cooker?
[Bismarck] No; I expect those would be buyable on eBay, at least occasionally.
Is this thing kept inside?
[Superman, indoors] No. But also see answer to Rosie's.
Is it related to gardening?
[Raak, gardening] Nope.
Can it be bought in a shop?
[Raak, shoppable] No.
Does it consist of empty space?
Is it usually made of metal?
[Raak, empty space] Doesn't everything? No, it's not just empty space.

[Tuj, metal] No.

Is this a part of a typical building?
[Boolbar] Yes.
It is related to the void spaces within a building?
[Raak, void] Yes.
A rubbish chute?
A cavity wall?
[Rosie, chute] No

[Raak, cavity] No.

A house extension?
Does Father Christmas like these?
A room?
[Raak, extension] No.

[Dujon, Xmas] I don't know whether he likes them, but they are a necessary component of his professional work. Let's class that as a YES.

[Boolbar] No.

Are these things traditionally cleaned by Dick van Dyke, sporting an absurd Cockney accent?
[Raak, DVD] I dunno WTF he was cleaning; I couldn't get through the accent. But let's a assume a YERS or a YE-US or a YUS or however he would have pronounced it.
The cupboard under the stairs?
[Rosie] No. Good try but no.
An inglenook?
[Supes] No, not one of them neither.
The bog? Er, I mean the loo?
[Rosie] No, not a kludgie.
Is this space large enough to enter?
[Rosie] Well, we know Father Christmas can, so YES, I guess.
A chimney?
YES. A nice red-bricked chyimminny.
Here, have this baton. Mind the soot.
When ah were a lad it were a CHIMBLY, but now it's

ABSTRACT WITH ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
A superstition?
Racing of some kind?
(Raak) A superstition? NO.
(Simons Mith) Racing? NO.
A live animal?
Is it weather related?
A work of art depicting an animal?
(Bismark) The Animal Connections are certainly alive but this is not the AOTC.
(Boolbar) Weather related? NO.
(Raak) NOT a work of art of any kind.
A work of writing?
Associated with a particular place?
(Raak) NOT a written work.
(Tuj) Associated with a particular place? YES *warm audience applause*
Shangri la?
Crufts?
(Softers) Shangri-la? NO, nothing so exotic.
(Simons Mith) Crufts? NO. No doggies involved.
Welsh? ;)
Fictional?
Would this be something primarily for children?
Are the connected animals four-legged?
(Tuj) Welsh? NO, believe it or not.
(Raak) Fictional? NO, real.
(Bismarck) For children? NO.
(CdM) 4-legged animals? Now, that would be interesting, but the answer is definitely NO.
Is the associated place in the UK?
Worm charming?
(Boolbar) In the UK? YES
(Simons Mith) Can that be done? It's NOT the answer anyway, alas.
Swan upping?
Are the animal connections human?
Is this an activity?
(Simons Mith) Er, wassat, then? I'm afraid it's no nearer the answer.
(Tuj) Animal connections human? YES.
(Raak) An activity? NO.
Be it connected to sport?
(Tuj) Connected to sport? NO.
Is this something that happens once a year?
(Boolbar) Annual event? NO, it's continuous.
Is it an agricultural activity?
(Simons Mith) Agricultural? That would be a cruel if understandable interpretation of this. Short answer, NO.
Wool-gathering?
(Raak) Wool-gathering? NO.
Is it a job role or title?
Is it a metaphorical expresion?
(Tuj) Job role or title? NO.
(Raak) Metaphorical? No, it's what it says on the tin.

The AOTC is not in the least obscure but it is unusual for this game.

The Cerne Giant?
(Bismarck) Old Knobhead? The AOTC is Abstract.
An accent?
Abstract but associated with a particular area got me well stumped.
(Simons Mith) An accent? YES. *audience ecstatic*
Cockney?
(CdM) Cockney? Jokin' mate.
Welsh?
Acute? Oh no, that'd be associated with somewhere in France. Cornish?
(Raak) NOT a Welsh accent, North or South. (Welsh has already been eliminated).
(Simons Mith) Cornish? NO. A grave error.
Scouse.
(Superman) Scouse? NO, you're in the wrong areal.
Black Country...?
[Superman] no such luck eh? Anyway you hardly spoke it.
RP?
(Bismarck) Yam flailing about, it seems. NOT Black Country.
(CdM) RP? Oh, good heavens, no.
This is an urban variant of a regional accent. I have put a bit of a giveaway clue somewhere in here.
Brizzle?
Geordie, then.
(Bismarck) NOT Geordie, but SOFTERS HAS IT. Gert accurate, proper like. Award yourself the ceremonial bananal.
Hidden textTHe clue was in my last response to Superman
What? Me again? Well I'm buggered! Tha's gurt lush m'deariol.

Right then. MINERAL with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections.

Manufactured item?
The salt on my fish 'n' chips?
[Rosie] Made up? In a way, YES.
[Boolbar] Tasty, but NO.
A plate of fish and chips with mushy peas?
Is there just one of this?
Does it have an alliterative name?
A country?
[Bismarck] Luvly grub? NO
[Raak] Unique? YES
[Tuj] Lettered? NO
[Simons Mith] National? NO
On Earth?
Is it found inside a building?
[Simons Mith] Terrestrial? YES
[Boolbar] Internal? NO
But is it art?
A statue?
Is it a natural phenomenon that has been 'defined' in some way, such as a nature reserve?
[Tuj[ Good question, some might say, some might not.
[Rosie] Statuesque? NO.
[Simons Mith] Phenomena? NO.
Is it in England?
[Bismarck] Blighty? YES.
Is it in a town or city?
A fossilized tree?
Is it ancient?
Is it manmade?
Is it functional?
[Raak] Urban? NO
[Bismacck] Coal? NO
[Bismarck] Ancient? Depends on how you define "ancient"
[Tuj] Man made? YES
[CdM] Functional? YES
A reservoir?
A bridge?
[Somons Mith] Water dump? NO
[Raak] Over troubled water? YES
Recap v1
So it's a bridge. In England, but not in a town. It may be of some antiquity. And possibly involving artistics.
The Severn bridge?
A road bridge?
[Bismarck] First or second? NO
[Rosie] Roadie? YES
The Iron Bridge?
[Raak] Mr Darby's masterpiece? NO
Is the road either a main road or a motorway?
Building, Burning, or Falling Down
Is it the Richmond Bridge, the Tower Bridge, or the Tarr Steps?
Humber Bridge?
Is it the original 'Pooh Sticks' bridge?
I do have some doubt that it's a road bridge, but can't tell for sure one way or the other.
[Rosie] Highway code? YES
[KagomeShuko] A bridge too far? NO
[Bismarck] Bridge north? NO
[Simons Mith] AA Milne-ish? NO
Does it need constant repainting?
Has it been proposed to keep it from rust by boiling it in wine?
[Simons Mith] Forth bridge style? YES (don't they all?)
[Raak] Medoc rust preventer? Great idea but NO
The Clifton Suspension Bridge, proper like
[Rosie] IKB's masterpiece, m'luvvy? YES! I'd have thought you would have leapt on that straight away, mate.

(Hands over the SS Great Britain shaped baton.)

Grabs baton. Ouch, where are you supposed to hold it?

OK, this next one is nothing to do with Bristol, or Wales, or steam engines. It is

VEGETABLE with strong ABSTRACT connections.

Is the vegetable edible?
Is it a wood or forest?
A work of art?
Is it das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester?
Just a stab in the dark...
(R the G) Vegetable edible? Only by dogs. Short answer is NO.
(Boolbar) NOT a wood or forest.
Raak) NOT a work of art.
(SM) Das erste Wiener Gemüseorchester? Wooden a fought so. I'll check.
Arabidopsis thaliana?
(Raak) Arabidopsis thaliana? Having Googled it, I can say with the greatest of confidence that the answer is NO.
Dogs'll eat almost anything, but it's hard to find something vegetable that only dogs will eat. Is the thing commonly found in a house??
(SM) Commonly found in a house? Probably NOT these days. Probably edible by other animals, e.g. rats, but a dog is the most likely.
A stick, like you might throw for a dog?
Is the vegetable manufactured/processed in some way?
Marmite?
Is the vegetable part wooden?
(R the G) A stick? NO.
(SM) Manufactured or processed? YES.
(Softers) Lovely stuff? NO, alas.
(Boolbar) Wooden? NO.
Is it a fabric?
Is it unique?
(SM) A fabric? NO.
(Tuj) Unique? NO.
A bird's nest?
(Software) A bird's nest? NO.
Is it a fruit?
(Superman) A fruit? NO.
A member of the Poaceae family?
Is the abstract part a saying?
Rubber wellies?
Eminently chewable for the canis familiaris and rattus norvegicus crowds.
(Boolbar) Grassed up? NO.
(Raak) A saying? NO.
(SM) Nice try but still v. cold. So NO.
Is this something used for heating or lighting?
(Boolbar) For heating or lighting? NO.
Is the abstract part a measurement or quantity?
Can it be bought derp-frozen?
Deep-frozen of course.
(Simons Mith) It could certainly be regarded as that, so YES. *audience animation, previously absent*
(Bismarck) Deep or derp frozen. NEITHER, I'm afraid.
Is the abstract part included or acknowledged in the thing's name?
Is tobacco involved?
(Simons Mith) Abstract nature acknowledged in name? YES. *even greater animation from the audience*
(Raak) Nicotinic involvement? NO. I dunno, just 'cos I like the fags.
A grandfather clock?
Some sort of floor or wall covering?
(SM) Grandfather clock? NO.
(Boolbar) Floor or wall covering? NO.
A tape meaure?
A bean feast?
(SM) A tape measure? Well, rather better than that, but NO. *audience murmurings*
(Software) Accountant's holiday? NO, not a bean feast.
Is it some type of aide-memoire?
(Boolbar) An aide-memoire? NOT really. Maybe just an aide.
For measuring distance?
(SM) Measuring distance? NO.
A yard broom?
(Softers) A yard broom? NO.
For measuring fluids?
An item of furniture?
(SM) NOT for measuring fluids.
(Superman) Furniture? NO, except possibly as a word joke.
A country mile?
(Softers) A country mile? I'm afraid your attempt is wide of the mark by precisely that amount.
The Radio Times?
(SM) NOT the Radio Times. Maybe something less engaging.
Old Moore's Almanac?
(SM) Old Moore's Almanac? NO. Even less readable than that.
Is this a book containing information?
The Phone Book?
(Boolbar) Contains information? YES. *audience erupts*
(Simons Mith) The Phone Book? NO, but in a way that sort of thing.
A quipu?
(Raak) NOT a Quipu but you're on the right road.
An LP?
(Superman) An LP? NO.
An atlas?
A bookmark?
(SM) An atlas? NO
(Softers) A bookmark? NO.

A recap - this is a book, uninspiring and of little use these days.

Originally published in England?
(Raak) Originally published in England? YES, probably. Sources are not quite clear on this.
Logarithmic tables?
(revealing my age)
Old Moores Almanac?
CdM has it! It's Log Tables. Well done - a tricky one. Take this 'ere mantissa and proceed to the next one.
(Softers) Sorry, NO.
Lurker's Victory; sorry. On the brighter side, at least I noticed I won. I think the last time I won a round I completely forgot to check back for several days.

ABSTRACT
Cognitive ability?
Being sorry?
Cognitive ability? I think not.
Being sorry? Regretfully, no.
Time?
Time? No. *some applause from the audience*
Is this essentially a human experience?
Oh, the humanity!
Essentially human? No
(I should perhaps note that I can certainly come up with animal (including human), vegetable, and probably even mineral connections, but I don't think that information is helpful.)
Growth?
Physical law?
Growth? *rapturous applause* Growth is one of the words on the card.
Physical law? No (though not entirely unconnected).
Exponential growth?
Well that was quick
Exponential growth is the answer. It seemed to follow naturally from Rosie’s log tables. Have this baton. It’s 10% longer than it was yesterday, and 33.1% longer than it was on Friday.
A fresh slate
OK, let's try a clean break for the next one.

This is Animal

Is it human?
N- YES. I was initially going to give a firm no, but then I thought about it some more. YES.
Is there more than one of it at any one time?
Jesus?
[Raak] Not Jesus
[Bismarck] No, they're pretty singular.
Prehistoric?
[Raak] No.
A single living human being?
[CdM] Curiously, given my answer to Bismarck, no.
Can I go and see one of these beings (or their remains) on display in a museum?
[Boolbar] Turns out, yes.
A hunter?
[Software] No.
A waxwork?
A mummified corpse?
An idol?
Part of a human?
[waxworks] No.
[mummy] No.
[idol] No.
[part of a human] ... For consistency with my previous answer, yes. I might owe you a hint, this answer is a bit misleading either way.
Sedlec Ossuary?
Fictional?
[Ossuarial] No. That is such a cool place tho'
[Fictional] Yes.
A monster?
[monster] Yes.
A cyborg?
Several good guesses in a row
[cyborg] No.
Frankenstein's monster?
[Frankenstein's monster] No.
Dominic Cummings?
Samson?
A half-human hybrid?
[Cummings] Ugh. No.
[Samson] No.
[Hybrid] No. No breeding involved.
The Incredible Hulk?
[HULK] NO. MADDER AND MUCH HAIRIER
King Kong?
A were-being?
[King] No.
[were] No. Not when or why, either, BTW.
Incidentally, I'd peg the audience as alert and poised to applaud, but you're not close enough for a clap just yet.
The Abominable Snowman?
Not many fictional humanoid monsters occur to me that one can see in a museum.
[Abonimable anobinamal snow dude] No.
The existence of the museum was a surprise to me too.
Bigfoot?
[Bigfoot] No. In fact, their feet are rarely seen at all,
Is this fictional thing originally from a book?
[Bookish] No.
From a movie?
[Movies] No, not originally.
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
[Bugblatters] No, less hungry.
The Slightly Peckish Bugblatter Beast of Traal?
Do accounts of this go back to before the 19th century?
[Peckish] Yes, I think 'peckish' pitches things about right.
[19th Century] No, they're a go-getting modern monster, all ready to face the challenges of the new millennium.
Are these from a children's TV show?
[Children's show] YES. [Claps and cheers from the audience]
Cookie Monster?
[COOKIES!] No. Getting close, but no. [More claps BTW]
Is there a Humphrey about?
Always imagined them as hairy beasties, but since they were never seen IIRC, who knows.
[Humphreys] No, they were red and white stripey drinking straws, and they were seen, certainly in the TV ads.
A cross-eyed tomato on a spring?
[Tomato] No, not Zebedee.
The Honey Monster?
A Disney character?
[Honey Monster] No.
[Disney] Yes, of course Disney would have bought them out...
The Swedish Chef?
I'm sticking with the Muppets until further notice.
[Bork? Bork!] No. [Nevertheless, applause returns in force]
Is it a Muppet?
[Muppet] YES. [Applause continues]
Oscar the Grouch?
(If that's not right we may need to start asking more general questions again. Turns out there are a lot of Muppets. Wikipedia even makes what is apparently a key distinction between Muppet Show Muppets and Sesame Street Muppets.)
Is it a Muppet in the shape of a recognizable animal?
[Oscar] No.
[Recognisable] Teetering on a one-word giveaway here. I'll say no, but I wanted to say yes.
Animal?
I hope not... stalking is so unbecoming.
A winner!
[Animal] Sorry rab - be ready for disappointment. YES, it's Animal. Here's a drum-stick shaped baton for you. Don't mind the toothmarks.
Drat!
Sorry everyone.

This next one is Abstract

Is it the thought of going out for something non-essential?
[Boolbar] That drew a very sharp intake of breath from the audience.
Self-isolation?
Is it topical?
Self-isolation? No.

Topical? Current, yes; relating to a surface, no.

Hypochondria?
I told you I was ill? No.
Solitude?
Is it something experienced by a human?
Solitude? Not quite - and Raak was closer (and yet, at the same time, further away).

Human experience? Yes, albeit diminished.

A dream?
Dream? We might want it to be, but no.

audience - *looks distractedly at Raak*

Quarantine?
Quarantine? No, but in this neck of the woods.
The two meter gap?
R0?
Two metres? *audience bounces up and down, trying to avoid attracting the attention of the police*

R0? No

Not being quarantined?
Social distancing as a 21st century ontology?
[Raak] no (but yes)

[Bismarck] it says “social distancing” on the card so I think you can have that one.

Had to wait a couple of days for the disinfection process to work on the baton. Can't be too careful. But hooray!
This is MINERAL, though there is an ANIMAL connection (not the Muppet this time, though)
A processed material?
Is it made by animals - e.g. chalk, coral, concrete etc.?
Is it unique?
Who needs 20 questions?
[Rosie] Processed material? ... ... ... No. But sorta.
[Simons] YES, it is made by animals. The audience cheers, even those who were still out at the intermission and haven't found their seats yet.
[Tuj] NOT unique.
An excretory substance?
A fossil?
Dinosaur poo?
Dinosaur eggs?
Is this a result of animals dying?
Does it begin with P?
A shell?
Just back from the Easter break...
Right, to cut through all these very good suggestions, well done everyone! But Simons Mith wins the audience's chocolate bunny this round, it's a shell, NO to all the rest.
The card still has another word on it, and the question count is at 10.
Is it made by chickens?
Is it the shell of a sea dwelling creature?
Tortoiseshell?
Whispers in my shell-like
[Simons ] NO, no fowl play here.
[Boolbar] YES, there would be an audience sensation here but the Skype link went down.
[Raak ] NO, not even a mock turtle.
Question count up to 13.
Is it sold by the sea shore?
She shells she shells...
[Simons] YES, though in these gender-confused days I am unable to say by whom.
Cockles, winkles, mussels, and whelks?
Alive, alive-O
[Raak] NO, none of them, but you are very close. Try a few more.
Clam, crab or conch? Cowry? Barnacle?
Bit of a shotgun approach...
Oyster shells?
Like shooting shellfish in a bucket
[Simons] NO, your shotgun didn't hit the target.
[Raak] NO.
Limpet?
That's me done, otherwise.
Scallop shells?
Getting closer and still hanging in there
[Simons] NO, not a limpet.
[Raak] NO, not a scallop.
Very close. This is a common shell on most beaches. Question count up to 19.
Who needs 20 questions?
Come on you lot, you can do it!
Cuttlefish?
Bong!
[software] NO. (Do you get cuttlefish on the beaches near you?)
Lots
Oysters?
Lots of cuttlefish bones on our beaches.
Razor shells?
And the winner is...
I've never seen cuttlefish bones on beaches, if they're that common presumably I didn't know what I was looking at.
[Software] NO.
[Raak] YES, it's the razor shell. Take this baton covered in mother-of-pearl and go on to better things!
Neither ANIMAL, nor VEGETABLE, nor MINERAL, nor ABSTRACT
That's right, it's Covid-19!

Just thought I'd get that one out of the way.

MINERAL
And nothing to do with The Current Situation.
Metallic?
Terrestrial?
Oil-based?
[Rosie] Largely metallic.
[Simons] *ripple of amusement from the audience* Strictly speaking...yes, terrestrial.
[Projoy] Not oil-based.
Is it a long way from home?
A satellite?
[Simons] It's a long way from my home.
[Software] *applause!* Yes and no.
The moon?
Is it about car-sized?
The International Space Station?
[Bismarck] Not the moon.
[Simons] Not about car-sized.
[Rosie] Not the ISS.
Does it have harpoons?
[Simons] Yarr! Bain't be havin' no harpoons nohow, matey.
An artificial earth satellite?
[Rosie] Yes! An artificial earth satellite. Despite my yes and no answer earlier. When is a satellite not a satellite?
Part of a launch vehicle, like Apollo 11 second stage?
Is it 40+ years old?
[Bismarck] Not part of a launch vehicle.
[Simons] Not 40+ years old.
Made by SpaceX?
The Hubble Space Telescope?
Is its mission solar observation?
[Boolbar] Not made by SpaceX.
[Rosie] *applause!!* Not Hubble.
[Simons] Not for solar observation.
So, JWST I reckon
Yes, the James Webb Space Telescope, which will be a satellite when it's launched. Have this baton-shaped chocolate-covered sponge cake which philosophers can't prove isn't floating somewhere in the asteroid belt since last Tuesday.
Let's crack on with the next one then. Hmm. Perhaps I shall do an ABSTRACT.
A human characteristic?
[Human] Yeeah.
Has a monumental allegory to this item been constructed?
[Monument] No, I don't think so.
Hidden textIf there was, how big would you make it?
An emotion?
[Emotion] Nope.
A co-operative characteristic?
[Co-operative] No.
A mental function?
[Mental] Not really.
Is this a human only characteristic (or can other animals have it)?
[Uniquely hooman] Yes, human only. Too much of a stretch to attribute it to animals IMO.
Big-headedness?
[Big-headedness] No. A few claps though
Consciousness?
The wearing of clothes?
[Consciousness, Clothing] No and no.
To do with speech?
[speech] Yyyes. Usually requiring speech, at any rate.
Hubris?
[Hubris] Not really. A couple more claps, from different audience members to last time
A boast?
[Boast] ...No. Very strong applause though. Possibly even whoops.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect?
That's definitely the right answer, even if it isn't.
[Duning-Krooger] Nuh-uh. Most of the clapping stops. What remains is probably unreliable.
[Simons] You're just saying that because, unlike me, you're not smart enough to realise that it is in fact the right answer.
At least I can spell Dunig Kreuzfeldt.
Flyting?
[Flyting] No, nothing so new-fangled.
Does it require modern technology to work properly?
[modern tech] No.
Is it done for entertainment?
[entertainment] Not usually. While it can be done for comic effect, that's not its normal objective.
Swearing?
[Cuss words] No...
Exaggeration?
Radox wins!
Yes, 'Exaggeration' is the word on the card. Here, let me pass on to you this totally awesome baton of awesome awesomeness.
Unaccustomed as I am ..
Oooh, lovely! Awesome and then some.
Bear with me as the Laser Display Board is updated for the audience. For the contestants, the subject is Abstract.
(The physical object could be An, Veg, or Min, but I am looking for a property which is Abstract.)
Isolation?
Worth a pot, however unoriginal.
A lucky charm?
Ditto
[Rosie] NOT isolation.
[Tuj] NOT as such, though no doubt someone, somewhere, uses one as a lucky charm.
Any relevance to the current pandemic?
[Rosie] NO. Phew. Don't we all need a break?
A favourite thing?
A human construct?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NOT a favourite thing.
[Tuj] YES. No animals, vegetables, or minerals can have thought of this.
[CdM] NO, though there is a P in it.
Is it something animals, plants and [mineral] computers can all do?
Is this related to a bodily junction?
Did this exist in Classical Rome and Greece?
[Simons Mith] NO, they cannot. The primary object can be made from something A, V or even M, but the property sought is not linked to the substance.
[Rosie] NO. Not linked to a bodily junction in any way I can think of.
[Raak] NO, it is more recent.
Is the object a household object?
Anything to do with food?
Is it to do with the shape of things?
Is it numerically quantifiable?
[I'm still pondering the lucky charm connection.]
Or does it have religious connections?
Hope I'm allowed two questions on the go at once
[Bismarck] YES, I have several in my home and I suspect most people have.
[Boolbar] NO, food has nothing to do with this.
[Raak] NO, as far as the objects go they are all rectangular.
[Simons Mith] YES, numbers come into it.
NO religious connections though, not even a chapel in Las Vegas.
Are the physical objects books?
[Raak] NO, not books. There was a stir in the audience, though.
Are the physical objects placemats?
[Simons Mith] NO, they aren't placemats.
Board games?
[Simons Mith] NO, not board games. Another stir in the audience.
The game of dominoes?
Crosswords?
[Simons Mith] NO, not dominoes. [Software] NO, not crosswords.
Card games?
[Simons Mith] NO, but the audience liked that one.
Jigsaws?
Will it help to know the name of the thing to which this property attaches?
Are the physical objects boxes, whether fancy or plain?
I'm fast running out of rectangular things...
Something to do with pictures, photos or paintings?
[Software] NO, not jigsaws.
[Bismarck] YES, in fact someone has already mentioned it, but not in the right context.
[Simons Mith] NO, not boxes.
[Boolbar] NO, only a link of extreme tenuousness can be drawn with your three P's.
Are the physical objects playing cards?
Maps?
[Bismarck] YES, it is playing cards. Audience sensation.
[Simons Mith] NO, not maps.
Tarot?
Abundance?
A house of cards?
[Raak] Not as such.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
A collectible card game?
An action or result of an action within a card game?
Trumps?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No. Some audience clapping.
[CdM] Yes!! Audience cheering, clapping etc.

CdM wins!
Please take this deck and deal the next round.

ABSTRACT with distinct Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections—by which I mean I am thinking of one particular connection of each type above all. To add to the confusion, the Mineral connection has its own Animal and Vegetable subconnections.
Something taxonomic?
A well known phrase or saying?
To do with the environment?
Classified information? No
Well known phrase or saying? No, but there is some immediate audience interest
Green? No?
A proverb?
Proverb? No. Audience interest wanes.
Some kind of official pronouncement?
Connected with food?
To do with current affairs?
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!? No
Foody? No.
Current affairs? Not at all.
Is it a song of some kind?
A scientific idea?
A game of some sort?
Fossils?
Song? No. Loud applause, some muttering, and also a little laughter.
Scientific idea? No.
Game? No.
Fossils? No. Curiously, there is a slight smattering of applause.
Applicable to the elderly?
Shuddup at the back
A museum?
To do with geology?
An orchestra?
Applicable to elderly? The least misleading answer is surely No. But there is a sense in which I could say Yes. The question just doesn't actually make much sense with respect to the AOTC.
A museum? No. Another smattering of applause.
Geological? No. The audience considers retracting its smattering response to the "Fossils" question on the grounds that it was probably unhelpful.
Orchestra? No. The audience considers smattering, then thinks better of it.
Is it to do with myth and legend?
Does it begin with P?
Is it just me who, when reading through this game, mentally hears the audience reactions (which sound a lot like an ISIHAC audience during Sound Charades)?
To do with sounds that people make?
Myth and legend? There is a connection. At the start I stated that the Mineral Connection to the AOTC has Animal and Vegetable subconnections; myth/legend are an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection of the Mineral connection to the answer on the card, which is Abstract. I presume that clarifies matters. :)
Begins with P? No.
To do with sounds people make? It can, but need not, be connected to sounds that people make. (Also, sounds people make could be an Abstract subsubconnection of the Animal subconnection blahblahblah.)

(To the extent the last question was prompted by the one occasion of audience enthusiasm, that might indeed be a profitable line of enquiry. Or you might want to pursue one or more of the A,V,M connections.)
Is the particular animal connection you are thinking of, human?
Life?
The music of the spheres?
Animal connection human? Yes
Life? No.
Music of the spheres? No.
Would civilisation come into it?
Civilisation? I'm going to go with Yes. Some of these questions are so broad that they are hard to answer, but, I dunno, "Yes" just feels right in this case. That said, I'm not sure it's helpful.
Is it the game of rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock?
A wild guess.
A musical instrument?
Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock? Finally, a question I can answer easily. No.
Musical instrument? No, but musical instruments are a subconnection of the Mineral connection of the AOTC.
Communication?
Is the main mineral connection a metal?
Religious?
Is it something like a cyclopedia?
Communication? No.
Mineral = metal? No.
Religious? No, but there are certainly religious subconnections of the Mineral connection of the AOTC
Cyclopedic? No. Despite all of the various subconnections and subsubconnections, the AOTC is actually something quite specific.
Is it a team of superheroes? :-)
Are we looking for the title of a piece of fiction?
Superheroes? No.
Title of piece of fiction? The audience gasps and applauds loudly. No.
The title of some written work?
A collection?
Title of written work? Yes! Applause
Collection? No.
Is the word "Rock" on the card?
Is it a work about types of music?
Rocky? No.
About types of music? No, although types of music are referenced in the work.
A biography?
Biography? No.
Was this written before 1900?
Written prior to 1900? Yes.
Was it written in English?
Written in English? Yes.
Is the book about philosophy, natural or otherwise?
Is the book about history? Gibbons' Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire?
Is it by a single author?
Check your assumptions
Philosophical? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
History? The best answer is No, although there is a connection.
Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire? No. (Some audience laughter.)
Single author? Yes.
Is is a single book?
Checking one assumption...
Single book? No.
Is it a periodical?
Is it the author's entire oeuvre?
Periodical? No.
Entoeuvre? No.
Is it poetry?
Is it the works of a particular composer?
Poetry? Yes. The audience puts down their phones and applauds.
Composer’s works? No.
Recap
So it's the title of a work of poetry written before 1900 (and possibly much older). It is not the author's entire work, but it is more than one book while not being a collection, and it doesn't begin with P. There are connections through the title to A, M, and V, as well as to legends in a way.
Virgil's Georgics?
"The Faerie Queene"?
Because I'm nice.
Bismarck's recap is mostly right. However, I did not say the AOTC was more than one book. I said it was not a single book. I'll also tell you for free that I was thinking of the main animal connection as being the author, and the main vegetable connection as paper. The mineral connection, which has not been explored, has—as already noted—Animal and Vegetable subconnections, and various subsubconnections.

Virgil? No.
Spenser? No.
Was the author English?
English author? Yes.
Is this work in a medium other than a book?
I think you’re overcomplicating things
Medium other than a book? No. I mean, like everything else, it now also exists on the internet, but otherwise you’d normally expect to find it in a book.
Later than Chaucer?
Post-Chaucer? Yes.
Victorian?
Kipling's Barrack-Room Ballads?
Victorian? No.
Kipling? No.
Shakespearean?
Shakespearean? No.
Was some at least of this poetry written before January 1, 1901?
Written before 1/1/1? Yes. (We already knew that.)
Written in the Georgian era?
This is a very boring way of getting to the answer. :)
Georgian? Yes.
By Alexander Pope?
Are any seabirds involved?
Trying to be less boring. :)
Popeish? No.
Seabirds? No. (Except perhaps implicitly and very tangentially. Which means you should forget I even mentioned it.)
Dryden?
Hymns Ancient and Modern?
By William Wordsworth?
Only marginally less boring :)
Dryden? No.
Hymns? No.
Wordsworth? No.
The mineral you talked about: we know it isn't a rock, but is it a jewel?
Mineral-ish
Could this be about SHELLey?
Rock? No.
Shelley, with or without the EY? No.
A poem about a historic event?
Poem about a historic event? (The audience applauds the question.) That's a bit tricky to answer, but at the risk of giving too much away, I'll do my best. The simple answer is No. Thinking about the AOTC in terms of a specific historic event is not in itself helpful.

That said, there is definitely a historical aspect both to the AOTC (more specifically the mineral subconnection) and to the various subsubconnections of the mineral subconnection. And it is also correct to say that those historical subsubconnections involve an event or events, broadly understood.
What is that alluring scent?
Could somebody been SLAVING over AN INGREDIENT FOR MAKING BREAD?
Er, what?
I don't understand the question, but it has nothing to do with the AOTC.
Longfellow?
Lurker's guess - Is the name Ozymandias, King of kings?
Longfellow? No.
Ozymandias? No. (Shelley has already been suggested and rejected. Also, I don't know what you mean by "the name"; there has been no mention of a name in this AVMA.)

I'm surprised this is proving so difficult. It's not that obscure. And you will get there eventually just by naming poets, but I'm not sure if it is the best route to the answer.
Is it based on an Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No.
less vague . . .
Could we be singing about amber grains of WHEAT?
Wheat? Nope? And I still have no idea what you are referring to :)
Are they a poet laureate?
Poet Laureate? No.
A poem about a location or country?
About a location or country? No, but the audience wakes from their stupor and applauds, particularly when they hear the word "country".
National anthems?
Because I'm still nice
National anthems? No.
As a tidbit of extra information to add to my previous answer, there is a strong connection to a particular country (which is not England).
Anything to do with Scotland?
Scottish? No.
Is there a French connection?
French? No.
hmmm
Guess I need to Phyllis you in on this author . . .
Is there a Greek connection?
Greek connection? Yes! Prolonged relieved applause from the audience!!
The ancient Greeks?
Ancient Greeks? Yes.
Aristotle?
Popping in a bit late
Given that a Greek Ancient would not have penned his poetry in English I am forced to the conclusion that the AOTC must be one of the many translations of his works. I have no idea as to the name of any of those conversions but would suggest Homer as the poet.
Homer? No. It's already been ascertained that it was written in English in the Georgian era.
Sorry, I missed Raak's question. No obvious connection to Aristotle.
"On First Looking into Chapman's Homer"?
Chapman's Homer? No. The audience bursts into huge applause.
Chapman's Homer itself?
Chapman’s Homer? No. The applause peters out into a crestfallen silence.
Ode to a Grecian Urn?
Alexander Pope?
Ode to a Grecian Urn? No.

Rapturous applause is cut suddenly short by the judges' response. Audience members look at each other puzzled. Murmurings of discontent give rise to crescendoing boos from some, while others google frantically. Rotten fruit is hurled. The judges retreat, huddle briefly, and reverse their verdict.

Ode on a Grecian Urn? Yes.

The judges run away, leaving behind a baton inscribed with the words "Beauty is truth, truth beauty".
So I have won by getting it wrong? I'm not even a politician, so this is a surprise. And just where that leaves us on truth-beauty spectrum is anyone's guess.
Talking of "anyone's guess", would you care to hazard what might be this ANIMAL of which I am thinking?
Is it unique?
Is it mythical?
[CdM] The judges made the right call. Otherwise we'd have had to have worked our way through Ode by a Greek Urn, Ode Under a Greek Urn, Ode In a Greek Urn and so on.
[CdM] YES, there can be only one.

The judges want to award you the palm immediately out of sheer nervousness, but the audience want their money's worth. Pierluigi Collina is drafted in to restore order.

[Simons Mith] NO, its doings are well-documented with photographic evidence.

Are we talking about a human?
Is this to be found in Caledonia?
A current public figure?
Is it a tiger?
I love tigers :)
[Boolbar] YES, the animal is human.
[Dujon] NO, not in Scotland, certainly not during lockdown.
[Raak]
  • YES, the human concerned is alive;
  • DEPENDS what you mean by "public", the human has for instance been on the telly.

[Tuj] NO, not a tiger, however much we may be fans of them.
Are they connected with politics?
Aw phooey :P
Is this human defined, for the purposes of this game, by the role they occupy?
[Tuj] NO, there is no politics here. Thought that might make a nice change.
[CdM] NO, insofar as I understand the question: I am expecting the name and surname of the human concerned. If you use any middle names, you will win points, and we all know what that means.
Do any of their middle names begin with P?
Cries of "Prizes!"
Is this human a woman?
Do they have musical talents?
[CdM] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[SimonsMith] IRRELEVANT, it's not for music that they are known.

Audienceometer: in repose.

Were they born before 1980?
[CdM] Delightful question.
An actor?
[Tuj] NO, which means this person is a lot younger than most of you.
[Boolbar] NO, although that may surprise some.

Audienceometer: Muttered off-topic conversations.

A sportsbeing?
Is this person currently to be found in England?
*putting on Mouse Ears*
Was this woman on a Disney show?
Are the initials of this person's middle names T E & E?
[SM] YES, this person is best known for sporting prowess.
[CdM] NO, and I'm pretty certain about this.
[KS]
  • a) NOT a woman as previously intimated
  • b) NO, no mice involved

[Duj] NO. Who on earth...

Audienceometer : Applause recorded for Simons Mith.

Is this young mouseless male abroad-from-an-English-perspective sportsbeing of European nationality?
Does he hit balls with a stick for a living?
I thought I broke something...
Does this sport use wheeled transport?
... Such as golf buggies?
[CdM] YES.
[Everyone else] NO.

Audienceometer : comatose.

*Interlude to sate Bismarck's curiosity*
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg. She is not a woman, she's girl. Nor is she a politician.
*End* Carry on.
Is this sportsbeing currently (or was he very recently) in either Germany or Portugal?
[CdM] NO, at least if this is a reference to the football. He may well have been there, though given COVID19 I suspect he hasn't travelled.

Audienceometer: Low buzz of conversation about Greta Thunberg, Tintin etc.

Is this person less than 20 years old?
Would he have been competing at the Olympics had they taken place this year?
[Boolbar] NO, he is older.
[Tuj] NO.

Audienceometer: dozing.

Is their sport an Olympic sport?
[Raak] YES. Hint - it has figured in almost all the Olympics.
Is the sport running?
[Raak] NO. However, to play it well, you need to be able to run. Hint: the sport does not fall under the IOC definition of athletics.
Is their sport a team sport?
[Boolbar] YES, it is a team sport.

Audienceometer: Applause.

Is it played indoors?
Does this non-rodentia male participate in a sport made up of sports?
Is the person concerned British?
[Superman] This sport, as with many team sports at the Olympics, has both forms. Thus one is outdoor, so a big hint and a big NO.
[KagomeShuko] NO, just the one discipline here.
[Radox The Green] NO.

Audienceometer: Small effervescence for Radox.

Are they a Commonwealth sportsperson?
Is this person Irish?
Is the sport football?
[Simons Mith] NO, not from the Commonwealth.
[Tuj] NI, not Irish.
[CdM] YES! I was wondering if all the Olympic stuff would have distracted everyone too much.

Audienceometer: Hoots, cheers and mostly unprintable chants break out for CdM.

Is this gentleman employed by a team in the English Premier League?
[Tuj] NO.
French?
Has this character ever played for a team in the English Premier League?
[Boolbar] NON. Although he can speak the language.
[Superman] YES, he has.
Audienceometer: Confrontation between supporters of different clubs being dealt with by security.
Did he pick up a French accent from having worked for a time for a French team?
Is this person currently playing at a professional level?
[Raak] Not because of that, NO.
[CdM] YES, he is still playing. Hint: Also at a well-known club.
Audienceometer: A compromise deal resulting in incessant chants of "'Ere we go, earwig O, 'ere we go" is reached.
Has he won the World Cup?
[Tuj] NO WC on the honours board, I'm afraid. The more I go through this, the more it seems like he isn't a very good player, whereas he is well regarded. Paradise awaits him, no doubt.
Is he Belgian?
[CdM] YES, he is Belgian.
Audienceometer : Cheers, whistles and general noise for CdM.
Has he been employed by a football club from Manchester in the past?
Eden Hazard?
(I’m so certain that that is the right answer, given all the clues, that I’m tempted to just get the next round underway immediately. But I’ll observe proper protocol.)
[Tuj] No. Fellaini, Lukaku, De Bruyne... not a bad guess.
[CdM] YES! Mr Eden Michael Hazard it is, who incidentally is the most famous person to come from the area I live in. His club Real Madrid didn't make the final this year, and he's a born French speaker, if that helps clear up any lingering doubts. Also nobody won the extra points for his middle name, so they get rolled over. Please accept this Belgian ale and this spherical baton to kick off the next round.
Audienceometer: Lots of Chelsea songs going on.
CdM hits the back of the net!
[Bism] I was trying to play it like 'Guess Who?', and narrow things down. But CdM was far ahead of me!
CdM rises majestically, like a salmon, and if it hadn't gone into the goal, it would have been close!
I have [Tuj] in front of the microphone... Congratulations for making a game of it. I thought your build-up strategy was well thought out. Would you care to comment on the yellow card?
Well, y'know Bismarck, I thought I stuck to my game plan well, made a few key narrowings down, but all credit to CdM, he just executed his skills better on the day, he deserved to get his hands on the baton.
Look, it was a team effort. All credit to the lads. Sometimes you just get a bit of luck on the day, but in the end I think we deserved the win. Now it's just all about the next round.
Hidden textRosie, as the Chelsea fan, missed his big moment here. Oh, and I certainly think he is a good player. I am still bitter about his impressive injury-time equaliser against my team in the season before last.
Which is ABSTRACT and ANIMAL, I guess. You could make an argument for either one, but it's really a bit of both.
Does it begin with P?
I don't think my dear old Ipswich Town have ever had a Belgian player :D
Human?
A real human being, who has taken on a symbolic significance?
A mammal?
Begins with P? No.
Human? Yes?
Real human being who has taken on a symbolic significance? (*smattering of applause*) Yes, a real human being, but not a particular real human being. The "symbolic significance" part is trickier. The significance of this not-particular but real human being is indeed being defined in a symbolic way.
Mammal? See "Human?", above.
Is the fact that this person is not a particular s/he because their identity is unknown?
Is their identity unknown? (*some applause and a little nervous laughter*) This person is not a particular s/he because there is more than one of this person. In some cases their identity is known; in other cases not—and this observation is germane to the AOTC.
Superheroes?
Superheroes? No. (Real human being, remember?) But heroes? Sometimes.
The head or leader of something?
Head or Leader? Almost certainly not.
Medical workers?
Secret agents?
Medical workers? No
Secret agents? No.
Is this concept linked to a particular political outlook?
The Unknown Soldier?
Linked to particular political outlook. In principle and in general, No. But there certainly is a political link in some instances, and it's probably fair to associate those instances with (broadly speaking) a particular political outlook.
Unknown soldier? No. The fact that the identity of these individuals is sometimes known, sometimes not is perhaps an interesting feature of the AOTC, but it is not central.
Is the AOTC associated with a particular country?
The Tzadikim Nistarim?
is the concept linked to an ethnic group?
Associated with particular country? No.
Tzadikim Nistarim? (
Hidden text*googles surreptitiously*
) No.
Linked to ethnic group? No.
Trade or profession?
Trade or profession? No. That said, these people are defined (for the purpose of the AOTC) in terms of something that they do.
Do they do this role in the interests of someone else?
In the interests of someone else? Yes (*substantial applause*)
Is there a medical connection?
Do they rescue people?
Medical connection? No.
Rescuers? No.
Civil servants?
To do with organised charities?
Members of an exclusive (or secret) club?
Civil servants? No.
To do with charities? No.
Members of exclusive/secret club? No.
(To be clear, these people could be any of these things, but they are essentially irrelevant to the AOTC.)
Blood donors?
Blood donors? No.
Do musical instruments enter into this?
Anything to do with transport?
Musical instruments? (*after a moment, laughter followed by some applause*) In one very precise sense, the answer is Yes. At the same time I worry that this answer might be misleading. If you pursue this route, pay attention to your assumptions. :)
To do with transport? No.
Are these multiple s/hes akin to inventors/ideas/philosophers ... ad infinitum ... who loose the reins for others to take.
Do these people know that they are defined as the AOTC?
Did these people exist 200 years ago?
Whistle blowers?
Well, that took a turn
Philosophers or something? No.
Do they know they are so defined? Usually yes.
Did they exist 200 years ago? Presumably yes, but back then they weren't actually known as...
Whistleblowers? Yes! One flute-like baton handed back to Bismarck.
Winner's comments
Didn't manage to get it inside 20 goes, but your clues did help. The baton-flute is really something, I can get a tune out of it but it seems only to attract rats. Lots of them, too.
Right, let's try for ANIMAL again. Off you go, put the thinking caps on and try to imagine what this could be!
Old Yeller?
Mammal?
Human?
Hamster?
[Bism] Oh, shot, very well done!
John Lennon?
John Lennon?
(was of course what I meant to say)
Hidden textThe whoops! function doesn’t seem to be working for me; is anyone else having a problem with it? I’ve tried to use it on my last two posts and it didn’t work either time.
[Simons Mith] - I'm sure they might yell, and many may be old. But it isn't the dog.
[Boolbar] - I am regretting picking this topic because it's going to make these normal types of questions quite difficult to answer. But I am not going to change horses in the middle of a stream. So let me clarify: I am looking for a class or type of animal, and not a specific one. If that adds a dose of ABSTRACT, so be it.
YES, some are mammals. NO, the others aren't.
[Raak] - NOT human.
[Tuj] - Ah, at last an easy one. NOT a hamster.
Hidden textThanks. Paul Mariner would have been proud of that.

[CdM] - NO, though I can see your thinking .
Audienceometer: Chuntering and shuffling of chairs.
Mascots?
Extant?
Are they limited to z certain geographic area?
And, if so, is zee certain geographic area France?
[Simons Mith] - Mascots? NO.
[Raak] - Extant? Excellent question which will probably make this a short game. NO, based on lack of proof.
[Superman] certain geographic area? NO.
[CdM] - France? NO.
Audienceometer : Applause for Raak, followed by an outbreak of arguments.
Cryptids?
probably stealing Raak's thunder

PS, also testing Whoops! facility, and it does seem to work, although from the message I first got I thought it was failing. Perhaps the Preview interaction is different now? But anyway, I've now done multiple whoopses and they've all worked.

Aliens?
[Raak] Could well be, could well be, but that isn't the AOTC.
[Simons Mith] YES, cryptids it is. No doubt a Mith is an expert and I should have seen that coming.Take this rather oddly creepy baton and don't look behind you - just run.
Audienceometer : Massive applause and some unearthly noises at the back, causing a rush for the exits.
VEGETABLE
I should say, historically these have been vegetable. Nowadays mineral ones are also prevalent.
Are the mineral ones fossils?
[Fossils] Nuh uh.
Historically made of paper?
[Historically paper?] Nope.
Is it an item of clothing?
[clothing] Nay.
Means of recording things, like books?
[Means of recording] No again.
Are the mineral ones plastic?
A toy?
Begins with P?
[mineral=plastic] Possibly. I don't know for certain, having never encountered plastic instances, but I would assume so. So a provisional Yes.

[Toy] No.

[p] No.

Specific to certain cultures?
[culture-specific] No.
Is it a fruit?
[Fruity] Negative.
Is it historically made from a tree by-product?
[Treey] Yes.
Is there one in your house?
As usual, probably on the wrong side of the useful/fun line
[Housey] No.
Would you find it in a tree?
[Found in a tree?] Nay.
Can you buy one in a shop?
[Shoppable] Yes.
Is it portable?
[Portable] Yes
Is it smaller than a tennis ball?
[<Tennis ball?] No.
Do IKEA make a self-assembly version?
[Self assembly] No.
Is it solely decorative?
[decorative] No.
Is it designed to be sat upon?
[Sittable] No, very much not.
Is there a spoon?
[spoonfulness] Alas, no.
Is it designed to be held in one hand?
An item of furniture?
Is it found in a school?
Not in a house, not in a tree, Hey Simons, just let it be!
[single-handed] Yes!

[furniture] no.

[skool] yes.

[KagomeShuko] :-) we should have a rhyming game of this. As if the normal version wasn't hard enough.

Is the vegetable part wood?
[wood] Yes, it wood have been.
Is it used for art?
Is it used to measure things?
[Art] no.

[Metrics] Nuh uh.

Does music come into it?
I am a bit stuck on the idea of a wooden hand-held instrument used in schools for which no plastic version has ever been seen by Simons Mith. So I am asking this question because it worked last time...
Does music come out of it?
Could it typically be maneuvered through a 5cm diameter circular hole?
[music I/O] No, either way.

[5cm hole] Yes!

BTW, I did check on Amazon, didn't find any wooden ones at all any more, didn't spot any hard plastic, but I did spot some foam ones for sale. Hadn't thought of foam. Other than that the rest were all metal.
A broomstick handle?
Is it a piece of sports equipment?
[broomstick handle] No, and expunge any thoughts about Quidditch. :-)

[sports] Yes! Audience applause

A golf club?
Is it used in an Olympic sport?
So it is bigger than a tennis ball, which is 6.7cm in diameter, but can be manoeuvred through a 5cm diameter hole.
A javelin?
[CdM] I assume long'n'thin fits both.
[Golf club] No

[Olympic] Yes

[Javelin] No. Granted, they used to be wooden and are now metal, but y'can't get foam ones.

An arrow?
Hockey stick?
Is it essential for playing the sport in question?
[B] I dunno. I don't think it's obvious that a long thin thing is bigger than a spherical thing (where "long" means greater than the diameter of the sphere and "thin" means smaller than the diameter of the sphere).
[Arrow] No

[Hockey Stick] No

[Essential] After quite a lot of thought, No. It's quite important, but not as essential as, say, the ball in football.

Is it protective equipment?
[Protective] No.
Used in a team sport?
[Team] Yup.
Is it used to hit something with?
[Percussive] No.
Is it used to make a mark on something?
[Mark-making] Nope.
Is it used to poke something?
I'm feel there's a Dr. Seuss poem in here somewhere.
Does it hit things?
Does it mark things?
Does it push and poke and prod things?
No, this object does not hit.
Neither does this object mark
Does it push or poke or prod?
Sadly none of those three gets a nod.
Ski pole?
Hidden textBool's question wasn't 'uniquely used in a team sport?'
[ski pole] No.

[uniquely used] I'm not 100% sure what you mean, but the AOTC is not used in any non-team variant of the sport(s).

A cricket stump?
[Stumped] No.
Is it at least as flexible as a rope?
[Flexibility] No, it's rigid.
Can I buy something with the same name in a bakery?
Trying not to take over due to busyness.
[Bread] Yes. I hadn't thought of that foody crossover.
Is "stick" one of the words on the card?
Do you want to rethink your answer to Tuj's question about "is it designed to be held in one hand?" ?
Also avoiding taking over. :)
[sticky] No. Actually I had only put one word on the card, but you're narrowing in on the sporting variant.

[rethinking] No. The circumstances under which two hands are used are a giveaway.

And now you're all just toying with me, I think.

OK then. Is it, perchance, a Relay Handover Cylinder?
[Baton] Yes, it is.

Flouting COVID restrictions, the audience claps one-handed with their neighbours.

It's all yours, CdM, although I'm afraid I haven't got a symbolic object to hand over. Some bugger ran off with it.

All right. This is, depending on how you think of it, either ABSTRACT, or MINERAL and VEGETABLE with important ANIMAL connections.
The world?
The world? No.
Is the MV+A a physical representation of the abstract thing?
Physical representation? I think "physical incarnation" might be a better phrase. In the M&V sense, the AOTC is very definitely real. Indeed, perhaps it is a mistake to call it Abstract; I think what I really mean is that the AOTC is a human construct.
A crucifix?
Is this a universal concept?
Crucifix? No.
Universal concept? No on both counts. It's not a concept, and it's quite specific.
Is the Animal part one animal or many?
How many animals? Many.
Is it a cycle/circle/feedback loop of some kind?
The Terracotta Army?
Feedback loop? No, much more concrete than that.
Terracotta Army? No (much less interesting than that). :)
A dolls house?
A city?
They're quite concrete. Regrettably.
A motorway?
Is there a single person in charge of this thing?
Doll house? No.
City? Yes! *sustained applause*
Motorway? No.
Single person in charge? Well, it's a city. Do cities have a single person in charge of them? Depends on how you interpret "in charge", I suppose. Wikipedia does inform me that the person nominally in charge of this particular city holds an "uncommon office".
It USED to be boring before the water crisis . . .
Is it Flint, Michigan?
[KS] Flint? No. (I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence.)
If you're tired of this particular city, does that suggest you're tired of life?
Oh, say can you say?
Does this city's spelling actually look like how the name of the city is pronounced.

Cdm - It's a joke in the U.S. which isn't really true any more and I'm not sure when it changed - but at one point, Flint, MI was considered extremely boring - peole would say things like they drove through Flint, MI and saw a rock and a flower, nothing else.
Tired of Life? Again without wishing to insult KS, were that true I suspect it would have a rather high suicide rate.
Spelt as it sounds? I'd say yes.
Hidden text [KS] I lived five years of my life less than 50 miles from Flint; I am well aware of its reputation. :)
Has this city been the subject of a popular song?
Popular song? Yes -- perhaps several (although that might depend on how strictly I'm supposed to interpret the word "subject"). Googling tells me there are at least half a dozen songs with the name of this city in their titles, and many many more that include the name in the lyrics. Most of these songs I had never heard of, but some undoubtedly qualify as popular songs.
Is this city in the Eurozone?
Is it in Asia?
In the Eurozone? No.
In Asia? No.
[KS] I've only just realised that when I wrote (in reply to your question re Flint) "I'm not saying this is an uninteresting city; I'd hate you to take offence", you quite reasonably understood "this" to mean Flint. I was actually speaking not about Flint, but the AOTC.
Begins with P?
P-initial? Sorry, no.
Noo Yoik?
South American?
New York? No.
South American? No. (*some whispering and a little laughter from the audience*)
Does this city exist today?
On the continent of North America?
Currently in existence? Yes.
North American? Yes.
St Louis?
Come on, you blues.
St Louis? No.
(Speaking of the Blues, Rosie, you missed your chance a few weeks ago when the AOTC, set by Bismarck, was a certain Mr Eden Hazard.)
Chicago?
Does this city have a name derived from Spanish?
(CdM) I've no time for Hazard - he's a deserter.
Is it South of the 40th parallel north?
Chicago? No.
Derived from Spanish? No.
South of 40? Yes.
Is it named after a person?
While I'm at it, is it the state capital of North Dakota?
Named after a person? No.
Bismarck? No. ( 46°48′30″N > 40°00′00″N)
Is it on an island?
On an island? No.
On a river?
On a river? Yes. (*applause*)
Does it host a team in one of the US' Big 4 sporting leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL)?
ABBFHLLLMNNN (not necessarily in that order)? No.
Is it innnnnnn Texas?
(and do hint if there's a more interesting way we could be hunting it!)
Is it on Route 66?
In Texas? No.
On Route 66? No.
I'm not sure what to offer in the way of hints beyond saying that there is a reason I chose this particular city; it is not just some random city in the US.
Is its name the same as that of a British city?
Philadelphia?
r/ Philadelphia / Savannah
My bad, it seems that Philadelphia does possess a sporting team.
Brit name? No. (*some audience laughter*)
Savannah? No.
Hidden textI believe that Philly is actually one of the few cities with a team in all four of the leagues Tuj mentioned. :)
Is it in a state whose name begins with a vowel?
In the title of quite a few songs, hmm.
Is it named after a geographical feature?
Initially stately vowelly? No.
Hidden textThe song route may or may not be helpful. I had heard of maybe one of the songs with the city in its title (and I had not heard of the song that is in fact most famous). The AOTC-related song that I know best names the city in its first line, but not in the title.

Named after geographical feature? I think the best answer is Yes, though I am using a broad definition of “geographical feature”. (It’s not as obviously a g.f. as, say, Little Rock, if that’s what you were thinking of.)
New Orleans.
New Orleans? No. (*Applause, and also some muttered and inconclusive discussion about whether New Orleans had already been ruled out by Radox's island question*)
The old one . . .
Is it in New Mexico?
New Mexico? No. (*a little audience laughter, not so much for the question as for the questioner*)
Hidden text[KS] Entirely friendly laughter, I promise. :)
If a wall were built between the US and Mexico, would this city be on the side closer to Canada?
It wouldn't happen to be Lake Charles, would it? The city, I mean, not the AOTC.
Closer to Canada? Yes.
Lake Charles? No. (*more applause*)
Recap
City in the US lower 48, on a river but not on an island, south of 40°N, not in a state starting with a vowel nor in New Mexico nor in Texas, does not begin with 'P', is not named after a person nor in Spanish nor a version of an existing British town, but the name is vaguely geographical and there are songs about it. It also possesses no team in any major US league of sporting mayhem, but has a specific reason for CdM to pick it.
Is it in a state that belonged to the Confederacy?
Does its name consist of two words?
[Bismarck] Excellent summary. :)
In the Confederacy? Yes.
Two-word name? Yes. (*applause*)
Is it the capital of the state?
Baton Rouge?
Don't really want it to be.
Oak Ridge?
[Software] Can't see what is the geographical idea of a red stick...
Feeling near as faded as my jeans
It is indeed the state capital of Louisiana, on the Mississippi, Baton Rouge, so whether he likes it or not, Software now has a new shiny crimson baton to replace the one that somebody apparently ran off with at the end of the last round. Garth Brooks' recording of Callin' Baton Rouge apparently reached number two on the US country charts, and there is also a Lou Reed song with the title Baton Rouge. And then, of course, there's Me and Bobby McGee, which Janis Joplin took to number one.

As for the geographical connection, I did try to give a highly qualified answer. The red stick that Baton Rouge is named after was a boundary marker, and boundaries—even those that don't follow features of physical geography—do fall into the category of "abstract geographical features". But maybe I pushed the definition a little too far, and if so I apologise. :)
Oh right, I see... also I looked it up and the mayor has a sonorous title, as you said right at the beginning.
Oh, bugger, now I'll have to think.
OK, here goes: VEGETABLE and MINERAL with possible ABSTRACT connotations.
Lord Byron's Bicycle?
Bravo to the setter and the guesser, lovely.
Vegetable wood?
Are the vegetable and mineral parts separate?
A work of art?
Does it begin with P?
Anything to do with batons?
Does it have gigantic silver wings that appear avove my head?
Too silly tired for serious questions
Is it anything to do with software?
Is the mineral metal?
Is it, perhaps, people looking at computer screens awaiting answers?
Tuj - NO
Rosie: wood? - Possibly
RTG: separate - YES
Raak: is it art? - Possibly
CdM: P? - YES!
Bool: baton? - NO
Bismark: software (are you addresing me?) - Not as far as I'm aware
SM: metal? mmmm! - Sometimes
Duj: Sorry for the delay, everyone
Is it a plastic replica of the Winged Victory of Samothrace?
(On a plinth?)
A statue?
Bigger than a toaster?
Anything to do with the sea?
Anything to do with food?
SM: Plastic thingy? - NO, not even on a plinth
Raak: Statue? - NO
CdM: Toaster benchmark? - Well, sometimes much larger
Bismarck: Maritime? - NO
Bool: Grub? - Well, again, possibly.
Is there only ever one of it at a time?
Is it vegetibles cooking in a metal pot?
Mmmm . . . aroma.
Agriculture?
Tuj: Unique? - NO
KS: Cookery? - NO
Super: Farming? - In a way, YES
A garden in a bottle?
Weather related?
A bottle in a garden?
Bonsai?
A park?
Is it a pub name?
Is it perhaps?
Does it involve a tractor?
Does it have a use for the general public?
A pumpkin patch?
Sorry for the delay
CdM: Boozy agriculture? - NO *some clapping from audience*
SM: Japanese effect? - NO *more clapping*
Superman: A park? - NO
Tuj: A Pub - NO (not in itself, although I have in fact seen a pub with this name)
Bismarck: Far to cryptic for me
KS: - mechanized? - NO
RTG: Social amenity? er.. Not exactly, on balance - NO
CdM: Halloween orientation? - NO.
Does a type of tree come into it?
Is it a seasonal event? Picking something, for example?
Is it a man-made structure?
Weather related? (Said slightly louder this time.)
Superman: arborial? not specifically - NO *smattering of excitement in audience*
Simons: Seasonal? - NO
Chalky [nice to see you :) ] : Man made? - YES - in part *a few claps*
Bool: come rain, come shine? - NO appologies for the oversight
Pot plants?
SM: Pot Plants? Oh, YES, indeed, the AOTC was "A Pot Plant" but that'll do.

* hands over the Maws indoor watering can *

A random whim has just struck me. Let's go for... MINERAL. I'm not going to worry about the connections. Let's just keep it simple.
Does it consist of one element only?
Monoelemental
No.
Is there just one of it?
Is it on or part of planet Earth?
But is it art?
An artefact?
[Singular] Yes.
[Earthly] No.
[Art] No.
[Artefact] No.
The ISS?
Has it been on or part of Earth in the past?
Within the Solar System?
[ISS] No.
[Earthly, in the past] No.
[Solar System] ...No.
The Big Bang?
[The Big Bang? Mineral?] No. I think I'd class the Big Bang as abstract, personally.
A particular galaxy?
An exoplanet?
A particular type of star?
Clarification
Just in case, I will clarify that I said no to Rosie's 'artefact' query because I took 'artefact' to mean a /historical/ object.

[galaxy] No.
[eoplanet] No.
[star] No.

Dark matter?
A Black Hole?
A named constellation?
Has it only figured in a fictional work?
[Dark Matter] No
[Black Hole] No
[Constellation] No
[Fictional] YES
Science fiction?
[SF] YES
Does it appear in the works of Iain M. Banks?
Did it first appear in print?
The monolith in 2001 a space Odyssey?
The spaceship Enterprise?
[Banks] Y-

Oh wait. Superman has employed his X-ray vision and jumped straight to the answer. Probably in a single bound. It was the Enterprise.

Turns out, this is a repeat, but from a very long time ago. I suppose I could have picked something a little trickier, like the Heart of Gold or the Liberator.

Let me just polish up this Infiniite Improbability Baton, and hand it over before it turns into a sperm whale or something.
Oh, a bowl of petunias...
It seemed only logical. So on with the next game.
The laser display is being wiped as we speak, and the subject is ABSTRACT. Here is the mystery voice for those at home (apologies for the absence of subtitles):
Is it related to sound?
A still life painting?
An imaginary baton?
A novel?
Something mathematical?
Lust?
[Tuj] - No, unless you speak it out loud.
[Dujon] - No.
[Boolbar] - No.
[Software] - No, although the expression has been used in the titles of novels.
[SimonsMith] - No.
[Rosie] - No, although if you do something about it, a vague link may appear.
Does it begin with P?
Post-coital tristesse?
Does the AOTC contain the word "birth"?
A well known phrase or saying?
Is there more than one word in the AOTC?
Improbability?
Connected to emotions?
Is it a human construct?
Old Times?
The existence of Superman?
[Tuj] No. One does make an appearance.
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Softers] No.
[Bism] No. Some desultory applause.
[Radox] No. Some more desultory applause.
[Simons] On balance, no.
[CdM] No, though philosophers may demur.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie #2] No.
A scientific concept?
[Raak] No.
Is mathematics involved?
Medical?
Luck-related - e.g. gambling?
Some sort of pseudo science?
[Raak] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Simons] No.
[Software] No.
That all denied, it is possible to relate all of the propositions made to the word, as in a medical AOTC, etc. But I still hold to NO.
An emergency?
The cold?
A compilation?
Is it to do with politics?
Anticipation?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Radox] Well now, not as I imagined it, but while checking I found several countries have a ministry for it.
[Chalky] No.
To do with food?
Silly Walks?
Religion?
Is the AOTC hyphenated?
[Bism] No.
[Raak] Hopefully no country has that ministry. No.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
A sensation?
'Development'?
A Surprise?
Privacy?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] The Zoom audience suddenly wake up and applaud. No.
[Chalky] isn’t everything? Some more Zooming.
[Bism] No.
Unexpected?
Productivity/Production?
Competition?
That's got a 'p' in it
[Chalky] vide supra, "surprise"
[Simons 1] Audience posts a couple of comments. No.
[Simons 2] Audience definitely all awake, in so far as sixty-one thumbnails are in any way visible on Zoom. No.
Related to economics?
Pertaining to LMIC?
Imports / Exports ?
[CdM] Yes, definitely.
[Chalky] No. Not specifically
[Simons] Could well be.
Zoom getting quite animated, though I really don’t want to know what three up and eight across is doing.
Transport?
The bank rate?
Income tax?
Money?
Getting close?
[Simons] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.

Audience all seem to have switched off their microphones again.
It's related to economics, but it's not economics, it's like development but it isn't development. There is one word and one 'p' in the word and you find government departments named after it. The rest can be summed up as "No."
Whoops. [Raak] No.
Sport?
Oops
*hurriedly turns off video*
Monopolies?
Anything to do with festivities?
Corporations? Companies?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] No, though thay may fall under the responsibility of the said department.
[Radox] No.
[Simons] Very much to do with such things, but a more general term is needed. No.
The economy?
Employment?
Unemployment?
[Raak] No.
[Simons] No.
[CdM] No.
All worthy guesses but all circling round the plug hole. A little more ...oomph... is needed. The Zoom-ers are practising singing in chorus, the effect is terrible.
The National Debt?
Enterprise?
I'm scraping the government department-speak barrel so hard I'm getting splinters. There's got to be something else in here
[Raak] No.
[Simons] Yes! It is! You are! Correct! Take this faintly glowing baton into the new year with a beaming smile on your face! And don't forget to leave some deathless words in conclusion for the Zoom.
VEGETABLE
'nother vegetable one.

[Deathless words for Zoom: arpeggio, manganese, pantaloon and clamp.]

Is it unique?
Is it edible?
Is it a vegetable?
Wooden?
Pomegranate?
Beginning with "P"?
Fictional?
Is it larger than a toaster?
[Unique] In the sense I intended, yes
[Edible] No
[A vegetable] No
[Wooden] No
[Pomegranate] Nuh uh
[Pegetable] No
[Fictional] Ironically, no.
[>Toaster] No.
Poisonous?
Is it in a museum?
Does it belong to one particular person?
Is it like coffee a substrate for a drinkable decoction?
Is it a fruit?
Is it a plant?
[Poisonous] No
[Museum] No
[Single owner] No
[Drinkable substrate] No
[Fruity] No
[Planty] No
Is it currently alive?
Is it in Europe?
Is it art?
Parasitic?
[alive] No
[In Europe] Yes
[art] No
[parasitic] No
This game is a lot harder if you're strict about your Yes/Nos.
Is it a fungus?
Coal?
A small dead european thing?
Did this exist in the year 1900?
Brussels sprout?
A punt from just outside my own penalty-area.
Is it green in colour?
Does it have writing on it?
[fungoid] No
[coal] No
[S.D.E.T.] No
[1900] No
[Sprout] No
[Green] No
[Writing] Yes
Are the words a work of fiction?
Is it a physical copy of a book?
Does it belong to you?
An inscription ... on to parchment of some sort?
Written by one specific person?
I've never felt so useful! That'll wear off.
Phew, suddenly homing in from miles away
[fiction] yes
[physical] yes
[mine] no
[inscription] no
[one author] yes
1984?
Is it in on public display?
Written last century?
Does it have pictures?
[1984] No
[Display] No
[20C] Yes
[Pictures] No
Is the following a correct (not necessarily exhaustive) summary of what we have learned? We are seeking to identify a single specific physical copy of a not-green less-than-toaster-sized book that is a single-authored work of 20th century fiction without pictures, is located in Europe, is not on public display or in a museum, would not be classified as art, is not 1984, does not begin with P, and—and this is the most puzzling bit—does not have a single owner.
And a follow-up question on the puzzling bit: is the ownership of this book none the less clearly defined?
(For example, owned by a household or an institution such as a school or library)
Is it a forgery?
Is it poetry?
Written in English?
Is it hidden away because of its dangerous content?
[shopping list] No. Pretty good summary, but not perfect.
[clearly-defined owner] No.
[forgery] No.
[poetry] No.
[English] Yes.
[dangerous] No.
Are there multiple copies of this book?
Does it have the word 'The' in the title?
[multiple copies] Yes.
[The] Yes.
Is this a work of reference?
Biographical?
[Reference, Biographical] No, fiction.
Is the author still alive?
Was it written by an American person?
[living author] No
[American] Yes
Does the book contain a collection of stories?
The stories of O. Henry?
Is it a single physical copy of a book?
Just trying to work out where I am confused.
[Collection] No
[Oh, Enry] No
[single physical] Yes. I'll break my yes-no rule and say that it's not a specific physical copy, just any old physical copy. This hypothetical copy happens to be in Europe.
Great Gatsby?
[GG] Yes!
That's right, a copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's 30,000,000-seller. Came out of US copyright at the start of the year.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Lucky guess there, I feel. So try your luck on the next subject which is ANIMAL.
Is it a blue footed booby?
Human?
Is it unique?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is it a red footed booby?
Is it extinct?
[Boolbar] Nay.
[Chalky] Nay.
[Tuj] Nay.
[Bismarck] Yea.
[Simons Mith] see above, Boolbar.
[Superman] Nay.
Is it alive?
Is it found in a zoo?
[Raak] Nay, not in any conventional sense.
[Tuj] Yea.
Is it tiger food?
Is it an artefact made from animal material?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
Is it something animals grow and/or shed?
Is it a dead horse?
Is it a part of an animal?
Is it an animal product?
Does it begin with P?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[CdM] Neigh.
Hidden textYou didn't see that coming, did you?

[Boolbar] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
[Tuj] Hooray. One of the words does and it's the most important one.
Is it an apex predator?
Is it fictional?
Wondering how an animal in a zoo can be not dead yet not alive "in any conventional sense".
[Simons Mith] Nay, not in real life.
[Raak] Yea.
Is this an individual, named animal?
Is it something like an empty cage containing a 'water otter' or a drop bear or something?
Or is it something like a dog masquerading as a lion or similar?
Has it four legs?
A cartoon character?
[Raak] Nay.
[Simons Mith] Nay to both.
[Tuj] Nay.
[Boolbar] Hooray! Not quite a Yea, though.
Is it a pushmi-pullyu?
Does it speak for the trees?
Is it a collection of cartoon characters?
[Simons Mith] Nay.
[Raak] Nay.
[Bismarck] Yea.
Is it a mascot?
Are a tiger and a six-year-old involved?
Pingus?
Do they live in a zoo?
I think they come from China . . .
Is one of the words pandas?
[Raak] Nay.
[Dujon] Nay.
[Simons Mith] Pingus: Hooray ! but Nay. Zoolife: Yea!
[KagomeShuko] Nay²
Is Dr. Doolittle involved?
[Raak] Nay.
Related to the Harry Potter franchise?
Is a lion involved?
Are these animals movie stars?
[Raak] Nay.
[Boolbar] The zoo has a lion which has been known to interact with the AOTC, but that is not what the AOTC refers to. Nay.
[Simons Mith] Yea.
Related to a London Tube station?
P-p-p-p-latypus?
[Raak] Nay.
[KagomeShuko] N-n-n-nay.
Is it a bird?
Are rabbits involved?
Are the animals found in the farmyard?
[Raak] Yea. Or Nay if I were feeling pernickety, as we've already established there's more than one of them.
[Boolbar] Nay.
[Bismarck] Nay.
Did they appear in the film “Creature Comforts”?
[Raak] As far as I can work out, Nay. Certainly not in the pilot and not one of the regular creatures.
Do these animals live in the water?
Perhaps something fishy is going on here.
Penguins?
So we still don't know what these animals are?
Parasites?
Pelicans?
I've been struggling to think of non-four-legged animals beginning with P
Psloths?
(Psee what I mean?)
Got whiskers?
[KS] Nay.
[Boolbar] Yea. And Hooray!
[Chalky] Nay.
[SM] Nay, and Pnay.
[Tuj] Nay.
Could it be 3-2-1 Penguins?
Is it the penguins from the Madagascar films?
C'mon everyone, let's endgame.
The penguin waiters from Mary Poppins?
Do you p-p-pick up one?
Smile and wave, smile and wave.
[Tuj] Hooray! Hooray! Yea, it is indeed the group of penguins from the Madagascar films. Take this stick that might just be dangerous and leave some deathless words for the assembly.
The rest - Nay. Special mention though to KagomeShuko and Simons Mith who were not far behind/ahead.
[RTG] Ta! I suspect there may have needed to be some abstract in the introduction. Anyway!
MINERAL
Natural as opposed to man made?
Is there just one of it?
A positive start
[Dujon] Yes!
[Raak] Yes!
Is it the Blarney Stone?
Rock?
Fictional?
The Ever Given?
[KS] No!
[Rosie] Yes!
[Bool] No!
[Raak] No!
A mountain?
In the UK?
In the middle of Australia?
Is it found outdoors?
[Raak] No!
[Rosie] No!
[SM] No!
[Bool] Yes!
Is it in (or under) the sea?
Not on (or in) planet Earth?
[Raak] No!
[Bool] Yes! Extra-terrestrial!
An asteroid?
Oo! Mwa! Mwa! ?
[Rosie] No!
[Raak] *makes confused face, looks for option to turn on subtitles*
'Oumuamua?
Thanks, it defied my internet search attempts!
[Rs] No!
On Mars?
A dwarf planet?
(Tuj) Do you have to shout?
Closer to Earth than Voyager 1?
[SM] No!
[Rosie] Yes! and No!, but I've started so I'll finish
[Bool] Yes! There's an ambiguity there I'm choosing not to think about...
Ceres?
The Oordt Cloud?
[Rosie] No.
[Bism] Um, no.
Does it begin with a 'P'? ;)
[Dujon] No, not Pluto :D
Is it a cubewano?
A meteorite?
Research, research...
[SM] No!
[Rosie] No!
If it wasn't clear, the answer to Rosie's question "A dwarf planet?" was "Yes!" – the "No!" was to whether I had to shout.
Pallas?
Come on da Palace.
[Rosie] No! (not a P-)
Should
Should I be silly enough to read this name backwards would it bring up images of an earthly mountain range?
Sorry about the stutter.
Is it a cubewano?
Is it a Kuiper Belt object?
[Duj] Um... ah! No! Not Sedna :D
[Bool] Still no.
[Rosie] No!
One of Haumea, Gonggong, or Eris?
Three strikes...
[Raak] Yes!
Those three are all Kuiper Belt objects.
Wikipedia calls them trans-Neptunian, while calling some other bodies KBOs, so I think there is a distinction being made.
Raak's found the distinction I'd found. I should've known there'd be debatable categorisations when I picked the AOC, alas!
Gonggong?
Strike one...
[Rr] Nono!
Haumea?
Strike two...
[Bool] No!
Eris?
Gotta be.
Home run
[Rosie] YES!
Eris it is, named for the Greek goddess of strife and discord. A frozen methane baton is yours, sir!
Fear not, the baton will be stored in liquid nitrogen until such time . . . . . .
And the next object is

ABSTRACT

Anarcho-syndicalism?
That moment you realise you can't remember what you went upstairs for?
(Chalky) No. I thought we'd done that.
(Boolbar) Damned cheek! Not that.
related to entertainment?
Would it exist if human beings didn't?
Just to wrap up the previous round, it's very disconcerting to set a mystery and have someone else start another game with the answer as the winning move!
(Simons) NOT related to entertainment.
(Tuj) Probably, though I have little insight into the minds of animals.
Is it a feeling?
Is the AOTC a single word?
(Raak) A feeling? NO, not really.
(Tuj) YES, a single word.
Is it a theory?
Does it rely on sight?
[forgetfulness] I was thinking of myself to be honest.
is it a cognitive ability, such as counting?
(Chalky) NO, not a theory.
(Boolbar) NO, not specifically.
(SM) NO, I wouldn't call it an ability.
(Raak) more info Could arise from a feeling.
An action?
Is it a Deadly Sin?
(Raak) NO, not an action.
(Tuj)In effect, YES.
Generally considered to be a psychiatric disorder?
Jealousy?
(Raak) NO, not normally considered a psychiatric disorder.
(SM) NO, not jealousy.
Is it imagination?
Ennui?
(KagomeShuko) Imagination? NO.
(Boolbar) Ennui? NO, wrong language for one thing.
Schadenfreude?
(Raak) Good guess, but wrong.
Late entry - Greed?
Is it a positive/beneficial trait?
(Bismarck) NOT greed though this may be one of the consequences.
(SM) Positive/beneficial? Most definitely NOT.
Does it begin with P?
Poverty?
Spite?
(Tuj, and therefore Raak) NO.
(SM) NOT spite.
Avarice?
Being a chav?
(Bismarck) Avarice? NO.
(Raak) Being a chav? Not a Sin, unfortunately, so NO.
So is it a German word?
Angst?
Ofermod?
(Tuj) NO, not German. (Dim y Gymraeg chwaith.)
(Raak I) vide supra
(Raak II) Not quite the word. *appreciative applause from a well-read audience*
Well if it's not Swedish death metal is it some other musical form?
That's what I found when I looked it up
Hubris?
Raak has it. HUBRIS it is. Now don't get cocky, mate.
I withdraw the baton from its liquid nitrogen bath and carefully hand it to you. Wear all sorts of PPE, esp. gloves.
The next is ANIMAL with MINERAL connections.
A mollusc?
Rock Lobster?
Here comes a bikini whale!
Is it unique?
[Ros,Raa] Well played.
[SM] A nice literal interpretation of mineral connections, but not a mollusc.
[B] Not Rick Lobster (in any meaning of the phrase)
[T] Not unique.
BTW, there are also VEGETABLE connections, but they seemed less salient than the MINERAl ones when I set this.
[B] Nor Rock Lobster.
An egg?
[R] Not an egg.
A mole?
Is the animal edible?
[SM] not a mole.
[R] *laughter in the audience* Not edible. At least, not customarily.
Is it an entire living animal?
[SM] If I were being curmudgeonishly strict, I'd say no. It's many entire etc.
Is it that famous relative of the elephant, the Rock Hyrax?
[RtG] Not a rock hyrax.
Found in the sea?
[B] I'm sure some of them could be, from time to time, but it's not a characteristic feature.
Are they mountain/cliff critters?
[SM] No association with mountains and cliffs.
Human?
[C] The audience heaves a sigh of relief at the first step of progress. Human.
Rock stars?
Are any of these humans still alive?
[SM] Not trolls singing music with rocks in.
[B] Some are alive.
Knights in shining armour?
Does sport come into it?
Blaenau Ffestiniog quarrymen?
[SM] Nor in white satin neither.
[B] Sport can come into it, but not primarily.
[R] Not quarrymen.
Do these humans work with the minerals referenced?
[B] Yes, they work with the minerals.
Sculptors?
[SM] Not as closely as that.
Does it begin with P?
A navvy?
[T] Not only does it not begin with a P, it does not end with a P, nor is there a P in the middle.
[R] Not that closely either.
Geologists?
[B] Not geologists.
Do these people share a nationality?
Are these people skilled?
[T] Not compatriots.
[R] The audience nods at another small step in the right direction. These people are indeed skilled.
Are they miners?
Not to be confused with minors, or even minor miners . . . .
Is the mineral metal?
[KS] Not min*rs.
[R] It can be metal.
Does building come into it?
[B] The audience swoons in ecstasy. Building comes into it! Indeed it does!
I was going to say bricklayers, even before the last clue. Bricklayers?
See? I said it.
Is it, therefore, since building comes into it, though without wanting to take a leap in the dark, builders?
[SM] Not bricklayers.
[B] Not builders.
Architects?
Are they celebrated in song?
I'm thinking of a ditty by Flanders and Swann in particular.
I don't know if F&S have ever celebrated architects, but Rosie has the answer: An Architect. Have this 1:1 scale model of the Burj Khalifa.
Precognition?
Cheers, Raak. I'll put it in the garage until I find a place for it.

Now, the next object is ABSTRACT

An HTML <hr> tag?
A feeling?
A well known phrase or saying?
Related to music?
(Dujon) Clever clogs :-). Sorry, NO.
(KagomeShuko) NO, not a feeling.
(Software) NO, not a well-known phrase or saying.
(Tuj) Music? NO. Nor steam engines or Wales.
Artistic?
(Raak) Artistic? NO.*audience cackles maliciously*
Vandalism?
(Raak) I smile, but NO.
Does it begin with P?
Political?
(Tuj) NO, does not begin with a P.
(Boolbar) Political? NO.
It is something one can look at?
(Raak) NO, not currently.
An eclipse?
the Reformation?
(Simons Mith) Nice, but NO.
(Raak) NO, nothing so fundamental.
The Olympic flame?
(Simons Mith) NO, not the Olympic Flame.
Is this extra-terrestrial?
(Duj) Extra-terrestrial? NO, not at all.
Weather-related?
(Chalky) Weather-related? NO.
Is it an event happening at intervals?
(Simons Mith) Well, if it existed, YES
Is it fictional?
(Raak) In a literal sense YES, in most other senses NO.
A month of Sundays?
(Software) Nice try but NO.
A paradox?
A real thing named after something fictional?
(Bismarck) NOT a paradox.
(Raak) NO, not that.
Something to do with the end of the world as we know it ?
Is it elevenses?
The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul?
By saying that this subject is something that we can't look at currently, are you referring to the effects of the coronavirus in that statement?
(Dujon) Some would say that, but seriously, NO.
(KS) NO, nothing as domestic as that.
(SM)NO, far less poetic.
(RtheG) No, COVID is not the reason we can't see it.
Is it something we hear rather than see?
(Chalky) Seen rather than heard? NEITHER. In fact, in an important sense it doesn't exist.
Halloween?
(SM) Nice, but alas NO.
The Future?
A type of dream?
(Chalky) The future? Not the AOTC but you never know.
(Dujon) A type of dream? For the first time there's a non-NO answer, which in this case is COULD BE.
Imagination?
(Superman) NO, not imagination.
A prophecy?
(SM) NO, not a prophecy. Maybe I should add the the AOTC does not now actually exist.
Did the AOTC exist at some point in the year 1900?
(Boolbar) Around in 1900? NO. *some suppressed audience giggles*
Tomorrow?
(Softers) NO, not tomorrow.
Can it be expected to exist in the future?
Déjà Vu ?
(Raak) I would say YES, but others with more knowledge may disagree.
(Chalky) NON, c'est pas ça.
Is it next week, next month, next year?
(KS) NO, none of those.
Does this mark the end of something?
(RtheG) End of something? NO.
Is it the foundation of the United Federation of Planets?
(SM) NO, nothing as benign as that.
A legend?
We had a pink moon the other day, so is it a blue moon? If not, is this something astronomical?
(Raak) NO, not a legend.
(Bismarck) NO, nothing astronomical, so not a blue moon. Not shy blue or navy blue.
Er, sky blue, that is. Not royal blue, either.
The Impossible?
(Chalky) The impossible? NO.
Is the AOTC a single word?
(Tuj) Single word? NO. The AOTC is four words, one of which is the definite article.
Is the third word "of"?
(Raak) Third word "of"? NO.
End Of The Game?
Are the middle two words "of the"?
(Raak) Middle two words "of the"? NO. There is no "of" in it.
All The King's Horses?
Is it related to the Morniverse?
The sky?
(Raak) All the King's Horses? NO. None of 'em.
(Tuj) Related to the Morniverse? NO.
(Superman) The sky? NO. Remember the AOTC does not now exist in any true sense.
The European Super League?
Is it the next something or other?
The next big thing?
Underpinning Boolbar
(Boolbar & Softers) Alas, too late and wrong anyway because CDM, with a flash of inspiration and a huge wodge of cash, has the answer. It's the European Super League. "Let it fall among the weeds." (John Skelton ca. 1550).
A lurker's victory coming out of the blue with no preparation or planning. Seems about right.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
But is it art?
Heraldry?
Animal human?
A well known phrase or saying?
Is it Schoedinger's cat?
Bigger than an imaginary toaster?
Argh! I forgot about this; sorry.
Art? No.
Heraldry? No.
Animal connection human? Yes
A well known phrase or saying? Um. I guess it is a well known phrase, but it is not an aphorism or anything of that kind.
Sch(r)ödinger's Cat? *opens box to check* No. *looks in box again* Wait. Why is there nothing but HOPE left inside?
Bigger than imaginary toaster? Well, it definitely could be very big. But it is really incommensurable with a toaster, imaginary or not.
Is it a human invention?
Personal space?
A sense of humour?
Is it Lionheart or Heart of a Lion? playing my Wild-Guess card
To do with emotion?
And now some answers that I could have sworn I posted have disappeared; apologies again.

Human invention? More of a creation than an invention, but I will go with Yes.
Personal space? No.
Sense of humour? No.
Lions, Hearts? No.
To do with emotion? No.
Lebensraum?
Sorry, my German is pretty crap.
Mankind?
Is the AOTC a single word?
Might one do this upon a star?
Is it the shipping forecast?
Do computers play a part?
That's twice I have posted some answers from my phone and they haven't shown up. Not sure what is going on; sorry
Lebensraum? No.
Mankind? No.
Single word answer? No.
The act of being instantaneously incinerated? No.
Shipping Forecast? No.
Computer-related? Well, these days, pretty much everything is computer-related, and the AOTC is no exception. But since the AOTC also predates computers, I think the answer has to be No.
Did it arise before the Renaissance?
Pre-Renaissance? No. (I suppose there might have been some related concept prior to that time but the best answer is clearly No. Also, please don't now ask me a whole bunch of questions in an attempt to date the AOTC, since I am unable to give a clear answer. I can tell you that the google ngram viewer suggests that the phrase on the card seems to have started coming into significant use in the mid 1800s.)
Also, I guess I should clarify that the connection of the AOTC to computers is pretty tangential. I probably should just have said a simple No.
To do with economics?
To do with economics? No. (Except very tangentially blahblahblah.)
Is it associated with a particular geographic location?
Particular geographic location? Good question! In principle, no, and the AOTC has been relevant in various places in the past and in the present. But it's fair to say that, recently, it has a strong association with a particularly geographic location. So I'm going with Yes.
Hidden textAnd what does recently mean, you might ask? Well, it means both in the last couple of decades and in the last year in particular.
Anything to do with health?
Anything to do with politics?
Does it begin with P?
Health-related? No.
To do with politics? Yes. *sustained applause*
Begins with P? I'll tell you for free that there are three words on the card and the first is the definite article. One of the others does begin with P.
Is the word which starts with a P "party"?
The Monster Raving Loony Party?
According to the MRLP, their moniker consists of three words.
P = Party? No.
MRLP? No.
Does the P stand for 'principle'?
Probably oughtn't be encouraging this line of attack...
Principle? No. Nor Principal, in case that was going to be the next question.
Is it a lying buffoon?
Lying Buffoon? No.
The Industrial Revolution?
Is the P-word position?
The Pindustrial Prevolution? No.
Position? No.
Is the P word Philosophy?
Or even Parliament?
Philosophy? No.
Parliament? No.
For free I will tell you that the P word is not particularly connected to politics in and of itself. It is the other word that has a clearer political connection.
Is the P word pandemic?
Pandemic? No. Tuj's observation is probably a good one. There are a lot of words beginning with "P" in the dictionary.
Anything to do with land borders?
P-word proposition?
Border-related? No.
Propositional? No.
Is it to do with a war?
War-related? No.
Has it had a strong association with the USA in the last year?
Is the definite article the first word?
Is it directly related to voting?
Typical. You wait weeks for a Yes, and then three show up at once.
Strong association with USA in last year? Yes. *applause*
Definite article = first word? Yes.
Related to voting? Yes. *rapturous applause, where the rapture is definitely partly born of relief*
Is it a political position, such as Speaker?
The Trump Presidency...
About the one thing I didn't want to be reminded of. Hope it's wrong.
Political position? No.
Trump presidency? No.
Hidden text"...the phrase on the card seems to have started coming into significant use in the mid 1800s."
Is it 'The voting public,' or something along those lines?
Voting Public? *sustained applause* No.
Something along those lines? Yes. It is more of an established phrase than "voting public", though.
The hoi polloi?
Hoi Polloi? No.
Democratic Party?
Democratic Party? No. (P = Party has already been ruled out.)
Is 'Primaries' one of the words
Primaries? No. Also, the P word is not "photosynthesis", "parrot", "predestined", or "pickpocket". As I said before, the P word is not particularly connected to politics as such, so I don't think you will find this route profitable. Which is also not the P word.
Is it statistical?
Is it a group of people who share a particular characteristic?
Aware this may be too vague or broad to answer well, in which case so be it.
Is it statistical? The most technically correct answer is Yes, but I worry that this answer could end up being misleading. *applause*
Group sharing a characteristic? I am going to go with Yes (and *substantial applause*,) with the caveat/reminder that the AOTC is Abstract, not Animal.
Further clarification
The AOTC is not a group as such. But it stems directly from a group who share a characteristic.
Is it the popular vote?
Maybe my close guess was even closer than I thought it was. And I'm stumped for anything else. I keep thinking of things where the p word has the political connotations.
Do the words that aren't the definite article rhyme?
Stalling for time while someone comes up with a better approach...
Do they rhyme? No, because Popular does not rhyme with Vote. The Electoral College awards Simons the baton despite the fact that Tuj received more applause.
Me again? All right...
These things are VEGETABLE.
Are they edible to humans?
Is it unique?
[SM,CdM] Good show!
Something made of wood?
Are they used in the playing of a game?
[Edible] Yes.
[Unique] No.
[Wooden] No.
[Gameable] No.
Is that a record? A yes for the first ever question?
Well, they begin with P
Potatoes?
Comprising more than one ingredient?
[SM] Last happened half a dozen rounds ago
[Spuds] No
[Multi-ingrediented] Yes
Is it a dish? (Culinary, not ceramic.)
[Dishy] No.
Bouquet Garni?
Does it contain tomato?
[Bouquet and tomato] No and no.
Is it customarily eaten as part of a meal?
Is it a fruit?
[Meal, Fruit] No and no.
Although edible, is this not normally eaten?
A flower?
[not normally eaten, flower] No and no.
Medication?
Are the components uncooked?
[Medicinal, uncooked] No and no
Does it begin with P?
Does it include peas?
[Ps and peas] No and no.
Muesli?
Contains legumes?
[Legumes, muesli] No and no.
Is this normally eaten?
Not unclarifying the double negative
[Normally eaten] Yes. :-)
Eaten raw?
Is it drinkable?
[raw, drinkable] Nope and nuh-uh.
Does it include potato?
Cooked but among many "no"s, not a dish, nor customarily part of a meal... hmm.
Any nuts in it?
[Spuds, nuts] Nay and no.
Is it used to feed animals?
[Animal food] A clever twist, but no.
A biscuit?
Is there fish in it?
[Biscuits, fish] No twice more.
Does it contain sugar?
[Sugar] Oh yes.
Is it ornamental?
Cake like?
Fried?
[Ornamental, cake-like, fried] Nay, no, and nuh-uh.
Are oats in it?
Primarily eaten by animals?
[Oats, animals] No and no again
Does it contain cocoa butter?
Any rice in it?
Is it pulp for paper?
I cooked lots of that for my fourth grade science project.
[Cocoa, rice, pulp] A full set of nopes.
Does it come in a variety of colours?
Is it usually eaten cold?
[Colours] Yes

[Cold] Yes

Salad?
[Salad] Back to no again. Your processes of elimination are being super thorough this time.
Is it associated with a particular location?
Is yeast needed?
Locational, yeasty] Nuh-uh and nope.
Gaspacho?
Would most of us be able to find it for sale in our local supermarket?
[Gazpacho, supermarket] No and no.
Candy floss?
Can you drink it?
Is it mainly composed of sugar?
[Floss, drinkable] No and no

[Sugar] Yes. Audience applauds in relief

Rock?
[Rock] No. We did that one, not too long ago.
Might you buy this at a funfair?
[funfair] No, I don't think so. I'm not sure though. On balance let's play safe and stick with 'No.'
Recap
Edible, cooked, ingredient, not to be found in a supermarket or funfair, mostly composed of sugar, and not anything else you can think of.
Sugar cane?
Sugar Beet?
A sugar basket?
[Sugar*] All no, but Bismark's summary gets a weak smattering. Although I'm not sure what you mean by 'and not anything else you think of'. I can't relate that to any of the questions or my answers.
Soda syrup? I don't know the culture of these games well enough yet to say whether you'd say no to drinkable in this case. I don't think you can drink the syrups for cola, etc. by themselves.
[Soda syrup] No. 'Drinkable' was asked earlier and I don't think I'd have answered yes for that. It's like, shampoo. Technically you could gulp it down, but it's still a no. TBH I shudder to think what the concentrated syrups would taste like.
Mint flavoured?
[Minty] Yes. I had to check, but it seems that's a rarer option.
The filling of liqueur chocolates?
[Liqueur filling] No, getting that specific would have been unsporting. :-)
Corn syrup?
As used in almost everything :(.
[Corn syrup] No, not used in this, apparently.
Was this invented since 1900?
[Post 1900] No, a bit older, I think. I thought it was a firm no, but I'm struggling to confirm.
Can for sure say 'invented more than a century ago'.
A boiled sweet?
[Boiled sweet] No. Audience stirs, and there's some claps
Is it a viscous substance, like honey or treacle?
Sherbet?
[vicious sherbert] No and no, but the audience remains alert
Mat Mystery
[Mat] BTW, your surname's not Lambert is it? I knew a 'Matt' who preferred to be 'Mat' and it stuck in my head these many years
A sugar loaf?
[Sugar loaf] No. Cool idea, but no. You know, I knew about the mountain, never once thought about where it got its name.
Are these normally bought in packets containing different colours and flavours?
The problem with all this is I can't see what in this line is not available in a supermarket. I can get sweets and molasses and Mars bars for deep-frying in my local supermarket. So: is it a sugar chair, like those used in the movies to shatter over someone's head?
[Packets] No...? Yees...? I suspect that's too close to call nowadays. Nevertheless, solid clappage occurs

[Sugar chair] No.

[Supermarkets] Supermarkets may be pretty comprehensive, but they don't sell everything. I'd only expect this to show up in the biggest supermarkets (and the right specialist shops), so when asked about 'normal' supermarkets I said no. I don't think Twickenham Waitrose has 'em, for example, and that's a good-sized shop. But for Kingston Waitrose, which is quite a bit larger, I reckon the balance tips. You all need to tell me the precise square footage of your nearest supermarket, then I'll redo the calculations. :-)

[SM's Mat Mystery] No, not Lambert. Besides, my government name is neither Mat nor Matt.
Are they mostly used for commercial purposes? The supermarket thing had me believing it was some industrial ingredient only used in factories, so let's tease that one out if we can.
Would some type of restaurant use this?
Some type of pastille?
Opal fruits?
My favourite...
Is it medicinal?
I thought of Fisherman's Friends a while ago, but the dating doesn't fit.
[Commercial] Yes. At least in the sense I think you mean. They're things people can buy, but unusual enough that only a larger-than average supermarket would stock 'em.
[Restaurants] No.
[Pastilles] No.
[They're starburst now, bah] No.
[Medicinal] No.
Used to decorate cakes?
Correction
Sorry, rereading Mat's query, I think I ought to change that to a No. Overlooked the word 'purposes'. This isn't, e.g. catering supplies, it's an ordinary thing bought for or by its end-user.
Dragees?
[Cake decor, dragees] No and no.
Do they typically come individually wrapped?
[Individually wrapped] No.
Are they spherical?
[Spherical] Yes! Strong applause
Are they more than 1cm in diameter?
[Diametrics] Yes! More applauses, possibly even whoops
More than 2 inches?
Gobstoppers?
standing on the shoulders of giants
A winner at last
[Gobstoppers] Yes! Gobstoppers is the AOTC. Audience collapses in relief, and they're probably not alone By Jove you had to work hard for that one. I was genuinely surprised that no-one thought to ask 'Sweets' weeks ago.
I think a lot of us were focused in on sweets for a long time, even if we never asked the question specifically. (That was my focus of attention ever since your reply when I asked if sugar was an ingredient.) The "no" to boiled sweets, though undoubtedly a correct answer, may have ended up taking us away from the right line of thinking.

MINERAL
Marbles?
Unique?
Metallic?
Marbles? No.
Hidden text''Unlike the ones from the book and the films, where Willy Wonka says you would break your teeth if you tried to chew a gobstopper, the Nestle produced gobstoppers are chewable once sucked long enough, and unlike their fictional counterparts they are not everlasting.'' Remarkably, that does not have a [citation needed].

Unique? Yes.
Metallic? Yes. *some muttering and head-shaking in the audience*
Is it found on planet Earth?
Does it weigh more than a million tons?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
Is it a small blob of neutron star matter?
(Just on the off chance that the answers to the previous two are both yes.)
Neutron Blob. The latest addition to the Mornington Crescent Cinematic Universe
On Earth? Yes.
> 1012g? Yes.
< toaster? No.
Neutron Blob? No.
The totality of British steam locomotives in 1960?
About 1.2 million tons give or take.
Ancient locomass? I know you'll find this hard to believe, Rosie, but No.
The Earth's core?
Human made?
Does it begin with P?
Earth's core? No. *some applause*
Human made? No.
Begin with P? No.
Is it the reserves of something?
Is it visible at the surface of the Earth?
Reserves? No.
Visible at the surface of the Earth? Yes.
Man-made?
Iron ore?
A specialised building?
Man-made? No.
Iron ore? No.
Specialised building? No.
A mountain?
Is it thinly spread all over the planet?
All the uranium in the oceans?
Is the metal in elemental form?
Mountain? Yes.
Thinly spread? No.
Damp and salty U? No.
Metal in elemental form? I am pretty sure the answer is Yes, though I know Rosie is a chemistry expert, while chemistry has never been my strong suit, so apologies in advance if I got this wrong.
(CdM) I meant metal as metal rather than chemically combined as in an ore, or rust even.
Does it begin with an E?
[Rosie] *nods* You can tell me at the end of the round whether I was right or not. :)
Begins with an E? No.
Is it plated?
Is the metal metaphorical?
Is it in a single nation?
Plated? No.
Metaphorical? No.
In a single nation? Yes.
Is it in Europe?
Is the metal copper?
In Europe? Yes.
Copper? No.
Does the metal end in 'um'?
As so many of them do
Does the name of this mountain include the name of a metal?
End in um? Yes. And also No. Check your assumptions.
Name include name of a metal? No.
A little more research also suggests to me that the correct answer to Rosie's last question (elemental form) might be Yes and No. But I am honestly not sure what the best answer is.
Is just one metal involved?
Is it West of Prague?
I should ask this more often.
Just one metal involved? No.
Hidden textIn a nerdy linguistic way, I find it interesting that the phrase 'the metal', which showed up in four questions, spanned meanings that I reasonably interpreted as potentially including multiple metals (elemental, metaphorical), to a meaning that definitely required a single metal (ending in -um). 'Is the metal copper?' kinda sits in the middle; I perhaps should have suggested assumption checking at that point. As you were.

West of Prague? Yes.
Hidden textOf course, it's also East of Prague, if you go far enough.
Does the mountain actually have Mount or Mountain in its name?
Is this mountain named on Google Maps?
The EU Butter Mountain it isn't, but it's too good not to play it
Mount or mountain in the name? There are in fact two acceptable answers on the card. The answer is Yes for one and No for the other. *a little muttering from some of the more literal-minded audience members*
Named on Google Maps? Yes. (Both answers on the card appear on Google Maps.)
Butter Mountain? No. (Interestingly, the second one of those would clearly have been only a marginal Yes in response to Tuj's last question.)

(This one is proving harder than I expected. I hope I haven't been misleading with any of my answers.)
Is it in Wales?
Is it South of Lyon?
In Wales? No.
South of Lyon? No.
What I would like it to be is the enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff. Is it that?
Enormous yellow sulphur dumps you get at the end of some oil pipelines where they de-sulphurise the stuff? No.
Is it in the Alps?
In the Alps? No.
In the UK?
Does mining come into it?
In the UK? No.
Mining-related? No.
(And, as I keep reading, I now think that my answer to Rosie probably should have been No. But I'm still not sure. Did I mention that chemistry is not my strong suit?)
Is it south of Loen?
You know, the village in Stryn Municipality in Vestland county in Norway.
Is it an island?
Oh, _that_ Loen
South of Loen? No. Which means it is also north of every Loon, Lyon, Leon, Léon, and León listed in Wikipedia.
An island? No.
Does water play a part?
Is it in Iceland?
Watery? No.
In Iceland? Yes! *applause*
Eyjafjallajökull?
Strike that suggestion - begins with an E
Is it a chocolate pavlova mountain?
You can find them in Iceland.   :)
Does either form of the name end with "-jökull"?
Eyjafjallajökull? No. *some applause*
Chocolate pavlova mountain? No.
Hidden text Only after googling did I understand the joke -- no Iceland where I currently live or have previously lived. :)

Jökullsuffixed? No.
North Atlantic Ridge?
North Atlantic Ridge? No. *some applause*
Surtsey?
Surtsey? No. (Not an island) *applause*
Is it only in Iceland?
Only in Iceland? Yes.
Does it begin with a K (in Icelandic)?
Begins with a K? No.
I'm surprised this is taking so long; I would have thought it was easy to guess by this point.
The amount of lava erupted from a volcano?
I'll have you know I spent at least one microlife yesterday looking up the geology and geography of Iceland on Wikipedia, and I've still no idea what it is.
Quantity of lava? No.
Now I'm feeling guilty! The audience applauds at the word "volcano".
Hidden textAt this point I will tell you for free that all my confusion/ignorance with regard to Rosie's question does indeed concern lava. I have never thought much about lava beyond the fact that it's a, well, hot mess. What exactly is going on chemically, I have no idea. Maybe, with Rosie's help, I'll end this AVMA better informed than I was when I started. :)
Fagradalsfjall!
Hekla, with lots of shouting
Hekla? Hekno, because...
...Fagradsfjall, which commenced eruptions in March of this year and is still erupting (at least as of yesterday) is indeed the answer on the card. "Fjall" is Icelandic for mountain. The other acceptable answer on the card was Geldingadalir which is the more precise location of the eruption.
Hidden textFull disclosure. The original AOTC was just Geldingadalir, but when I was asked whether the AOTC was a mountain, I felt it would have been badly misleading to have answered No, so I hurriedly grabbed my Sharpie and wrote in Fagradalsfjall as well. Also, to clarify one other piece of my answers, I went with the fact that one dictionary definition of 'metallic' is simply 'containing a metal'; I was a little worried that answer might mislead and tried to convey as much with the audience reaction; in the end it didn't seem to lead you astray too much!
Hidden textI clearly overthink this, don't I? :)
(Careful with this baton, Raak. It's still a bit hot.)
The next is VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections; or vice versa.
An anorak?
A wahoo from the centre circle.
Is it edible?
[Rosie] Not an anorak.
[CdM] Not edible, is the simplest answer.
Rethinking the rubric, it might be better if more long-windedly expressed as VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with ABSTRACT, VEGETABLE and sometimes ANIMAL connections.
Human Made?
A musical instrument?
Would a Morniverser typically own one of these?
[B] Yes, human made.
[SM] Not a musical instrument.
[R] I think a Morniverser would not typically own one of these, although they very well might.
A fossil?
A weapon?
Is the vegetable wood? Is the mineral stone?
[RtG] Not a fossil.
[R] Not a weapon.
[SM] There can be wood, peripherally. (murmur of amusement in the audience)
[SM2] (Confers with Mycroft. Mycroft gives a definite nod.) Yes, the mineral is stone.
Are the animal connections just because it is human-made (and perhaps human-used?), or do they go beyond that?
[CdM] The animal connections go beyond human make or use.
Is it a weapon? Is it a tool?
[B1] Not a weapon.
[B2] Not a tool.
Is it art?
Is the item fire- or heat-related?
[B] *applause!* It is art.
[SM] Not fire- or heat-related.
Is it commonly sited indoors?
[SM] Yes, indoors.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
A painting?
Is Mycroft the Highland version of Myspace?
[C] Can be smaller than a toaster.
[B] *rapturous applause* It is a painting!
[C] Mycroft declines to say.
All done by one artist?
[B] Not by one artist.
In the previous, I should add that it is not a specific painting.
Impressionist?
A still life?
A pet portrait?
Trying to think of something arty that a Crescenter might have rather than probably has is a narrow area to work in.
[SM] The exact phrase was “very well might”, which is even narrower. I mean, a Crescenter might own an original Chagall,
Hidden textI choose this example because I did know a perfectly ordinary not-rich person who owned a (small!) Chagall.
but I wouldn’t stick a “very well” in front.
[S] Could be.
[SM] Not unless it's dead, because...
[C] Yes. A still life. Have this tasteful basket of flowers, fruits, and roadkill.
Everyone can now boast of their collection of still lives that every Crescenter should own.
Mmmmmmm ... roadkill
Me again? OK. I'm about to head into a horrendously busy period, so here is a nice easy ANIMAL and MINERAL that we can hopefully despatch in a few days. *some immediate muttering and discussion in the audience*
An item of clothing?
Item of clothing? No.
Is the animal Human?
Is this weapon?
Human? *some more animated discussion in the audience* Given what was posted on the board, No.
Weapon? *laughter* No. Although, for a sufficiently broad definition, and in some circumstances, Yes.
Is it unique?
Unique? No.
A handbag?
It is I, Rosie
Does it begin with P?
A statue?
Sports-related?
A haaaaaaaaaaandbaaaag? No.
Begin with P? No.
Statue? No.
Sports-related? No.
Hidden textI can think of a very very very minor way to relate the AOTC to sports, but it's not worth exploring. So forget I said anything.
Can you lift it easily with one hand?
Part of an animal's anatomy?
Is the mineral salt?
Lift easily with one haaaaaaaaaaaaand...
Sorry. <mode "Edith Evans" = off>

Lift easily with one hand? Yes, I can.
Part of animal's anatomy? I think No is the best answer, but *some audience discussion*
Salt? No. *a sprinkling of audience laughter*
Are the connected animals domesticated?
A paint brush?
Is it edible?
Connected animal domestic? Sometimes.
Paintbrush? No.
Edible? The best answer, though not actually 100% accurate, is Yes. *some applause*
Is it not merely edible, but eaten?
Eaten? Yes. *more applause*
Hidden textThis is a lively audience
I'm going to clarify the "anatomy" response: I think that No is probably the right answer, though there could be some room for some debate, and I'm quite sure that No is the least misleading answer.
Are eggs involved?
Eggs involved? Well, an egg is, because that is the AOTC. One ovoid baton tossed carelessly in Boolbar’s direction.
The yolks on me.
Oh! I didn't think it would be eggactly that. We can let CdM go and be very busy and begin once more with another nice easy one: ANIMAL with some MINERAL. And no it isn't an egg again.
Is it human?
A chicken (with a tinfoil hat)?
Salted cod?
Human? No.
Chicken? No. Not even with a bit of foil. *Some of the audience are licking their lips*
Salted Cod? No. *'Oooh' comes from the audience*
Dead animal?
Is it unique?
Does it live in the ocean?
tl;dr Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard:
Hidden textReflections on an egg. First, I set the last AVMA forgetting to check whether we had had 'egg' as an answer before. To my surprise, even though the word has come up over 50 times, it has never been a subject before (though both Faberge egg and Easter egg have been). Second, it's amazing how you think you've set a nice easy AVMA, and then the questions come in and you realise there are many more subtleties than you considered. In my head, I was thinking of a simple chicken egg sitting on a table. But I immediately had to worry about whether people understand 'mineral' as a geological term, or as including biominerals, such as eggshell? (I decided eggshell should be classified as mineral, but does that mean we should actually classify almost all animals as 'animal and mineral' because of bones and teeth??) Of course, having made that decision, I immediately ran into trouble with human eggs. And then there was the anatomy question. We'd classify ova within an animal as anatomical, but I had already assumed the existence of eggshell. But, then, what about, say, a developing chicken egg before it has been laid? Oh, and finally, it turns out some eggs are poisonous. Still, at least I was confident that one could lift an egg with one hand and that they could be weaponised. :)
Dead? I do hope so.
Unique? No.
Ocean dwelling? No.
Hidden textAlthough taking into account what you said in your hidden part, I would suspect there will be at least one example of the AOTC bobbing around in an ocean somewhere. This would be almost certainly accidental and should be ignored. It would not be 'living' anyway! Also, I haven't gone back through the entire history of this game to see if my AOTC has been used before. Sorry if it has.
Is it a preserved creature?
The worm in a bottle of Tequila?
Preserved? Well, yes. *A ripple of applause*   This might send people down the wrong path.
Wormy tequila? No. But I guess that was worth a shot...
But is it art?
Is the animal dangerous when alive?
...to people, that is.
Art? Isn't everything? In this case, NO. Although thinking about it, there is a connection between the word on the card and art...
DANGER! DANGER? NO. Well, usually not. Some close relatives might be.
Is the animal a ruminant?
Moo & Co.? NO.
Edible?
Stuffed?
Edible? YES! Stuffed? NO.
Escargot?
A tortoise?
Pickled?
I remembered the line break this time...
Snails? NO
Tortoise? NO
Pickled? Not usually, but apparently it can be found pickled (I did not know until I Googled it.)

Note: There are some tiny grey areas here. For instance it is possible that the AOTC could be associated with a ruminant, but it is then described as such and not just the single word on the card. Best ignored.

Is the mineral part a shell?
Shell? NO
Extinct?
Is the mineral salt?
Does it begin with P?
Extinct? NO.
Salt? YES! There is salt in there.
P? NO. But a P beginning word is associated with the AOTC.
Overacts
Ham? NO *Audience applause*
Bacon?
*Audience goes wild*
Yes! Bacon it is. The first thing I thought of after the previous "egg". It is wise not to play this game while feeling a tad peckish.
Back to me? OK—another one that I hope will be reasonably easy. ANIMAL and VEGETABLE
FIsh and chips?
Fish and Chips? No and No.
Bangers and mash?
Is it food?
Bangers and Mash? No and No.
Food? Yes.
Sushi?
Liver & Onions
Soup?
Does it require much preparation?
Burger and fries?
Meat and two veg?
Sushi? No.
Liver and Onions? No and No.
Soup? No.
Does it require much preparation? I'll go with No. It does require some preparation, but it is straightforward.
Burger and fries? No and No.
Meat and two veg? No and No and No.
Is the animal part, milk?
Animal part milk? Yes, in part. (Technically, No is possible, but anything other than a Yes would be misleading.)
Is the mineral part the container?
Mineral container? Is this a fiendish trick to make me admit there is a mineral component even though that was not specified on the board? If so, your dastardly plan has succeeded. It is very probable that there is a small amount of mineral. Is that useful? Almost certainly not. Is it anything to do with a container? Definitely not.
Oops.
Milk and cookies?
A cereal?
Milk and cookies? No and No.
A cereal? No. *a smattering of applause*
Porridge?
Porridge? No. *a smattering of applause by the same smatterers who smattered in response to the previous question*
Does it taste sweet?
Is it baked?
OK, now it is starting to get tricky. There are actually two acceptable answers on the card. I'd always thought of them as being essentially equivalent, but some perusal of the internet suggests some subtle differences. One of the two answers is probably more familiar to most people. With that in mind...
Sweet? For the more well known answer, I would say Sometimes But Mostly No, although it can be—and an even more complicated answer might depend on how we think of the flavour profile of a common but not essential ingredient. For the less common answer, the answer seems to be Mostly Yes.
Baked? Mostly No, but sometimes—and more likely in the case of the less common answer.
All of that makes sense to me, but perhaps not to you. So, to keep things simple, if we stick to the more familiar AOTC:

Sweet? Sometimes.
Baked? Usually No.
Sausages?
Sausages? No. *the serial smatterers smatter*
Are eggs used to prepare this food?
Hamburger?
Eggs used in preparation? Yes. *applause*
Hamburger? No.
A breakfast aliment?
Poached eggs?
A coddled egg?
Breakfasty? Yes, my dear Watson. *applause*
Poached eggs? No.
Coddled egg? No.
An English breakfast?
Is toast involved?
I think we are just about done here
English breakfast? No. *laughter*
Toast involved? *loud applause* Toast is one of the words on the card. (Oddly, however, it is at least arguable that the best answer to the question might be No.)
Soldiers?
Soldiers? No.
French Toast?
Scrambled egg on toast?
Yum-yum
Eggy bread?
And Chalky has it! The AOTC is indeed French Toast (which, of course, is not toast as the word is usually understood, hence my answer to Bismarck's earlier question). The alternative AOTC was Pain Perdu, which is, er, the French version of French toast. Unfortunately, I never got the P question. While the egg mixture for French toast is typically not sweetened (even though of course it may typically be served with very sweet things like maple syrup), my casual googling suggests that it is more common to include sugar in the making of pain perdu, so I think there may be a subtle difference. I don't think I've ever actually heard the term "Eggy Bread" before, but I would have awarded it the win had Chalky not got there first; as far as I can tell from very quick googling it is equivalent to French toast.

I have here one soaked and fried baton for Chal—hang on, where did I put it...?
Thought I might have nailed it in a moment of weakness ;^)

To quote our friend and all-round gamestar CdM "Being in the AVMA chair is surprisingly hard .." I can but do my best although it may be helpful to set an alarm as a reminder to pop in at least once a day.

Next up ANIMAL

If you translate the answer into French, does it begin with P?
CdM, I let you down :(
Is it human?
Alive?
Catgut?
Translates into a French P? NON

Human? - YES

Alive? - YES

Catgut? - NO

Involved in the world of entertainment?
A sportsperson?
British?
A single identified individual?
Involved in the world of entertainment? YES

A sportsperson? YES

British? NO

A single identified individual? YES

Female?
Plays in a team sport?
Female? NO

Plays in a team sport? NO

Roger Federer?
A cricketer?
Lately in the news?
Roger Federer? NO

A cricketer? NO

Lately in the news? NO

Have they won an Olympic medal?
European?
Retired?
Have they won an Olympic medal? NO

European? NO

Retired? YES

* rethink *
Retired? YES and NO
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known?
Is this a footballer?
Retired from the sporting activity for which they are known? YES

Is this a footballer? NO

A lone yachtsman?
A lone yachtsman? NO
A commentator?
A commentator? NO
Not female. Trans?
American?
Trans? NO

American? YES

A golfer?
A F1 driver?
They are regularly retired.
Are we looking for the name of the person?
A golfer? NO

A F1 driver? NO

Are we looking for the name of the person? YES (as confirmed to CdM above as 'a single identified individual')

A tennis player?
A tennis player? NO
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games?
Has this person competed at a Summer Olympic Games? Supportive of ... but NO - never competed
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games?
Original questions R Us
Has this person competed at a Winter Olympic Games? NO [unoriginal answers R Us]
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable?
Is being a sportsperson the main thing for which this person is mémorable? NO *audience stirs*
Under the age of 60?
Is what they are mainly remembered for their post-retirement involvement in the sports world?
Under the age of 60? YES

Is what they are mainly remembered for (in) their post-retirement ... ? YES

... involvement in the sports world? NO

*hint* the 5th question asked on this subject is an avenue worth exploring
Have they been in a few movies?
Schwarzenegger?
Recap
We are to name an American man, still alive and under 60 though currently retired, who had some sporting links earlier in life, who has been involved in the entertainment industry and is known for this.
That looks like less useful info than there should be...
Have they been in a few movies? YES! *sighs and murmurs of relief from the audience *

Schwarzenegger? NO but a fine guess

Recap? A somewhat timorous description of this character's previous sporting prowess and current status in the entertainment industry although, by and large, correct.

O J Simpson?
*sighs*
A Schwarzenegger & O J Simpson are both 74 years young ... this chap is under 60 years of age
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances?
Does this person typically play himself in his movie appearances? NO
Keanu Reeves?
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
*audience claps and cheers and generally goes wild for Tuj*
So not all-round-good-guy Keanu.

Dwayne Johnson it is! Not as Fast and Furious as some, I believe.

Here Tuj - have this baton hewn from Rock

What a gory baton!
Thanks Chalks! Let's head over now to something VEGETABLE.
A record-breaking prize vegetable?
Is it alive?
Raak] YES and NO. I think in the sense you mean, NO ;)
Supe] YES.
Does it span many acres?
A well-known forested area?
Does it begin with pea?
SM] No.
Rosie] No. (A couple of audience members confusedly unmute themselves briefly)
Bool] No
A particular tree?
Is it edible to humans?
Rosie] YES. (applause)
Supe] NO
A fruit tree?
Raak] NO
Is it of great age?
In the United States?
A bristlecone pine?
SM] YES.
Rosie] YES (applause)
Raak] NO
The General Sherman?
Rosie] NO. (gasps)
A creosote Bush?
Over 3000 years old?
Methuselah, the bristlecone pine?
Don't you dare make any ageist jokes.
Giant sequoia
RTG] NO.
Bool] NO.
Rosie] NO
Softers] YES. (clapping, then an expectant hush)
That redwood with the road going through it?
Supe] NO.
Gerneral Sherman?
Note to self: 4/4/4/1/3/2/
Sorfters] NO.
In California?
Bool] YES
General Grant?
Are we looking for the colloquial name of this sequoia
I had to look this up and there's quite a few named trees.
Softers] NO (appreciative 'ooh' from some audience members)
Bism] YES (if I'm understanding your question to be whether the AOTC is the name of a specific tree)
Does the tree have a military rank?
SM] NO
The President Tree?
Softers] NO.
Is it in the Giant Forest national park?
I thought I'd give this game a nudge.
Bool] NO!
A tree specific to the US of A DC and Christmas?
Duj] NO
Is it named after someone?
Raak] YES (some audience dissent, discussion and ooh-ing)
Is it named after some individual person by their name?
Does the name have seasonal connections?
Raak] YES (well, depending on your definition of the word 'person')
SM] NO (I began this 5 weeks ago :( )
Is it in the Mountain Home Grove?
Bool] NO
Cmon everyone, let's get this done this year!
Is it in the Sierra Nevada?
Hyperion?
I'll be very surprised if that's not right. :)
Raak] NO...
CdM] YES!
General Sherman popped into my head as a potential AOTC, but on research I found that this coast redwood, named after a mythical titan, is feted as the world's tallest known living tree. A very long wooden baton to you!
OK. A nice easy VEGETABLE.
An antivaxxer?
Is it a tree or made of something from a tree?
Edible?
Antivaxxer? No.
Tree or made from tree? Yes. *applause*
Edible? No.
Mainly paper?
A piece of furniture?
Paper? No.
Furniture? No.
A tool?
A work of art, or part of one?
Are there more than one?
Tool? No.
Art? No.
>1? Yes.
Christmas-related?
Christmassy? No.
Would you typically find one of these in someone's house?
Does it begin with P?
Found in someone's house? No. * audience laughter*
Begin with P? Regrettably, no. There is one P-adjacency that I can think of, but it does not appear on the card.
Is it too big/heavy to be lifted by one person
Is it something made of wood?
Alive?
Is it something revered?
Too big to be lifted by one person? No. *audience laughter, and considerable muttering*
Made of wood? Yes.
Alive? No.
Revered? No.
Wood-chip mulch?
Is it normally carried on one's person?
Mulch? No.
Normally carried on one's person? No. *considerable laughter*
Sawdust?
The stump of a tree?
Sawdust? No.
Tree stump? No.
Is it a man-made object?
Man-made? Yes. *audience mutter a little, but are generally in agreement*
A cricket bat?
Long shot (over silly point)
Cricket bat? No.
Is it pointy?
A stack of wood for burning?
Some sort of container?
Pointy? No.
Proto-bonfire? No.
Container? No.
Is it made of fossilised wood?
Fossilised? No.
Is it functional?
A hedge?
Functional? Yes. (Perhaps not a word that would naturally come to mind for the AOTC, but that has to be the best answer.)
Hedge? No (not alive, remember).
I'll also slightly qualify my answer to the "Pointy?" question to add a parenthetical "well, sometimes, sort of". Probably not helpful, though; just trying to pre-empt appeals at the end of the round.
Used for a game?
A weapon?
Is it edible for human consumption?
Used for game? Yes. *applause*
Weapon? No.
Edible? No.
A Pooh-stick?
A caber?
Pooh stick? No *laughter*
A caber? Yes! *applause*
I now have this image of highlanders playing poohsticks with cabers tossed over the side of the Forth Bridge.

I was handed a very long wooden baton, and I now hand on a shorter—but still very long!—wooden baton to Bismarck.
This thing could do with some handles, you know. Also its swishability is lacking somewhat. But on we go!
This is VEGETABLE with a bit of ANIMAL and MINERAL thrown in as accessories.
Is it an area of woodland?
Just in case trees are the current trend.
Smokey bacon crisps?
A Trifid?
A manufactured item?
Worcestershire sauce?
A recipe book?
Does it begin with S?
Is it portable by an average human?
Lights out - round 1!
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
[Software] No.
[Rosie] Yes.
[nights] No.
[Simons] No.
[Tuj] No.
[Superman] Yes.
A pleasing symmetry in those answers.
Is it found in a typical household?
Is it made to be eaten?
It is mainly made of wood?
They keep a-comin'
[Rosie] Not uncommonly.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] Yes.
Is it used for a game or sport?
Is it a tool, or part of a tool?
Is it piece of furniture?
The Noes have it
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] No.
[Radox] No.
Foldable?
It is a human artefact?
Oops, that ws effectively answered yes already.
Is it ornamental?
Is it functional?
Ducks redux
[Simons] No.
[Raak] Yes, and then No.
[Chalky] Ain't everything... Yes.
A hatstand?
A walking stick?
Generally of a stick-like form?
Is it (intentionally) combustible?
Does it belong in the garden?
Owed to joy
[Rosie] No.
[Software] No.
[Rak] No.
[nights] No.
[Radox] No.
Is the animal part leather?
A kitchen item?
Generally of a ball-like form?
Uncanny unanimity
[Software] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the animal part hair?
Is it smaller than a house brick?
The burden of the animals
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
A musical instrument?
A footstool?
An applau
[Simons] YES. The audience claps and sways.
[Software] No.
A stringed instrument?
Woodwind?
A guitar?
Violin?
A ton of applause
[Raak] Yes.
[Boolbar] No.
[Rosie] Yes! But there are two words on the card.
[Software] No.
Flying V?
A bass guitar?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] Possibly a version.
Is one of the words "guitar"?
A Fender?
Is one of the words 'dusty', 'forgotten' or similar?
speaking as part of the non-musical contingent
Does the first word on the card begin with 'A'?
And now the end is near
[Raak] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
[Simons] No.
[Dujon] No.
Acoustic guitar?
Spanish guitar?
Lo hiciste a tu manera
[Software] Yes, but not the answer on the card.
[Rosie] Si! Si! The audience stamps and claps, Rosie has won.

With a rose between your teeth, take this baton and lead us in an impromptu paso doble.

Arglwydd Mawr, dw'i wedi ennill. Be' sy'n ddigwydd?
Hidden textGood Lord, I won. Woss going on?

And the next object is

ABSTRACT

.
Is it Welsh?
(R the G) Welsh? NO. Looks more Latin-based to me.
Did Kant refer to it in any of his works?
(Superman) Not having read all of Kant (or any of it, actually) I can't say but the answer is very likely NO.
Does it have more syllables than 'breadbin'?
Is it owt do wi' art?
Did it originate in the bible or Shakespeare?
(SM) YES, it certainly does.
(Dujon) You cannot be serious. NO.
(Boolbar) I very much doubt it so let's just say NO.
Is it the steam that's on a winter's morning gently rises from the chimney of a steam engine which has just started to heat up for its first run up to York?
A well known phrase or saying?
A load of bollocks?
From Wales?
(R the G) Alas, NO. That's smoke BTW. Lighting up a steam loco is a dirty job.
(Boolbar) NOT a well-known phrase or saying.
(Softers) Generally, though not always, YES.
(Raak) NO. Not location-specific.
To do with current affairs?
(Raak) Current affairs? YES. *audience gets rather animated*
Democracy?
(Dujon) NO, not democracy.
Political rhetoric?
Social Media related?
(Softers) Political? YES. Rhetoric? NO.
(Boolbar) NO. Predates social media by quite a lot.
So nowt to do with Boris "not a complete clown" Johnson then.
(Raak) Not a thing. Nice link, BTW.
Does it involve death?
Does it have royal connections?
(Superman) - NO link with death.
(SM) - NO royal connections.
A Political Ideal?
Was this linked to a specific event?
Something to do with voters?
(Chalky) A political ideal? Very often, YES. *audience sit up and take notice*
(Bismarck) A specific event? NO.
(Boolbar) YES, quite a lot to do with voters. *even more buzz from the audience.*
Votes for women?
A ballot of some sort?
Universal suffrage?
Brexit Opportunities?
We do have a new smarmy incumbent, after all.
(Superman) Votes for women? NO.
(Duj) NOT a ballot.
(Raak) NOT universal suffrage.
(Softers) Brexit Opportunities? I think they'd keep quiet about it, so NO.
A method of voting?
(Simons Mith) A method of voting? NO.
Manifestos?
Elections?
Simons Mith has it! The AOTC is actually A Manifesto but that's near enough. I hand you the baton, now reduced to a worthless scroll of A4.
Oh look, it's got 'get Brexit done' scribbled on it in crayon.
Anyway, the next one for your delectation is ANIMAL.
Is it you?
No; too delectable.
Human?
Human - yes.
Alive at this moment?
Is it a specific person?
Alive - Yes
Specific - No
The members of some organisation?
A clan or tribe?
Is it more than 1000 people?
Organization - No
Clan - No
>1000? - No
A sports team?
sporty - No
Flat-Earthers?
Music related?
Honest politicians?
flat, musical or honest - all no.
The inhabitants of some small remote place?
Do they share the same name?
remote, common name: no again. A word related to the AOTC does come from a 'group' with a shared name. This is too broad to be a hint IMV - it's just a side observation.
Are all members of this group alive now?
Is it a group which one has to apply to to become a member?
[Alive, alive-o] Nup.
[Exclusive] Nu-uh.
Prime Ministers?
All the winners of some competition or honour?
[PM, winners] No and no.
Connections with TV or Radio?
[media] Nope.
From a specific country?
Are there more than five members of this group currently alive?
[Rosie]
Hidden textYou show surprising faith in humanity if you think there are fewer than 1000 flat-earthers out there. :)
Anything to do with hats?
[country, hatty] No and no
[5 alive] Yes.
To clarify, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. How many AOTCs there actually are would be difficult to estimate.
Presidents of the USA?
Is it a profession?
[presidenty, professional] No and no
Is it a one word answer?
[one-word] Yes.
Is it a physical characteristic that links this group?
Is it a psychological characteristic?
[Physical] On balance, no.
[Psychological] ... On balance, yes. Did have to think about that
Age related?
Sport related?
My turn soon to manage Watford.
[Agey, sporty] Nah, twice.
Fans of something?
Royalty?
[Fans, royals] Nope, everyone's still dead cold.
So alive on the 15th Feb but dead now? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?
Looking at previous answers. Woof Woof!
Any political connection?
The Illuminati?
Following Boolbar's logic! And Rosie, why bother with Watford when you can buy Chelsea?
Is being a member of this group something that an individual can choose?
[alive and yet not] Treating that as a question, I think it highly probable that some AOTCs have met their end in the last few weeks, so, Yes.
[political] No.
[Illuminatuses] No
[a matter of choice] Tricky. A hesitant Yes.
Centenarians?
(Bis) I think that nice Mr Abramovich may be asking a little more than my current budget. Chelsea fan since 1957, BTW.
Connected with space travel?
[Rosie] age-related question - see above.
[Aaaaaaaage] Nope.
[Spaaaaaaace] Negatory, Houston
Connected with hair?
Stunt-men?
crime-related?
[hair-related] No
[stunt-related] Nay
[crime-related] Yes (Claps from the audience)
People on death row?
People let out on parole?
The Kray gang?
UK crime?
[Death row] No
[Parolees] No
[Krays] No
[UK] Nope.
Is the crime organized?
Related to transport?
[organized] No
[transport] No
Kleptomania?
Cannibalism?
Did the crime exist in the 19th century?
[Kleptomania] No
[Cannibalism] No
[19th Century] Not sure how to answer. I did start with a firm no but then changed my mind to yes.
Related to financial fraud?
[Frodulence] Nay
Treason?
[Treason] No, not especially associated with that either.
Are we looking for victims of a crime?
[victoms] Nope.
British?
[British] No, not really.
Does it end with a Y?
[-y?] No, they don't.
Does it begin with ... (*rolls 26-sided die*) ... P?
Trespassers?
[Trespassers] No. (Half a clap from the audience)
[Begins with P] No.
Anything to do with war?
Anti-vaxers?
[warlike] Not really
[antiva] Nope
Do they steal something physical?
[Forth from his den to steal he stole,
His bag full of clink he clunk
And many a wicked smile he smole
And many a wink he wunk.
—How the Thief Thove] No.
(this space intentionally left blank)
Your poem led me to this curious issue of an old magazine. I cannot be sure if it is genuine or a complete invention. There are many places on the web where the poem can be found in various versions, but "How the Thief Thove" gets just this one hit.
Those thivin' thieves
My version was from a comic miscellany (Presto!) collected by Peter Dickinson, pub. 1975, Hutchinson. An old book I'm very fond of.
Thovery
A Google search for "smole wunk" turns up a bunch of variants, including in the Transcript of Proceedings of the National Railway Labour Panel Emergency Board.
Identity theft?
That all seems like a promising idea for the next V Difficult Poems on the other side.
[identity], No, they not thivs
Do these people enjoy political power?
[power] Nope.
Squatters?
[Squatters] No, more likely to be slouchers
Transportation?
[Transportation] No.
Hackers?
[Hackers] A clever guess, but no.
Julian Assange?
[Assange] Nuh uh.
Gizza Clue?
Do they cheat in some game or competition?
[Cheaters] No
[Clue] Hm, well, as I said, the AOTC refers to a singular generic specimen. And it's never been illegal to be one - there'd be no way to enforce it
Is employment a factor?
[Employment] No, it's isn't.
Does wealth come into it?
[Wealth] Nope.
Cloning?
Apologies if we've asked already. Can't be bothered to scroll back
[Clones] No. That's super cold.
Is there something you have to wear to become one of these?
[Wearables] No. Ordinary clothes are fine
Is sitting down a requirement to be this?
[Sitting] No, you don't need to be sat.
Profiteering?
[Profiteers] No. Warmer than cloning, but no.
Communism?
Identity Thief?
Talking to myself now :-)
[ID Teef] No. In terms of warmness that's between cloning and profiteering, but all three are dead cold.
[Commies] No.
Does this apply to a particular country or region?
Bismarck did Identity theft some weeks ago, too.
[National or regional?] No, either way.
Not UK was identified some time ago. Is this 'thing' American?
Queue jumpers?
[USAnian] No, not very American either
[Queue jumpers] No.
Ghosts?
In order to be the AOTC, do they create something?
[Ghosts] No.
[Creators] No.
Recrap
We seek a single word that describes a human, with a link to crime, but no specific crime we have yet been able to come up with - indeed these people, of whom a few are alive at the moment, cannot be accused of a crime themselves as there is no enforcing it. Whatever it is they are engaged in, it was more prevalent after 1900, and it has a psychological side to it. Not linked to a country, doesn't begin with P, and the type of person sought is less delectable than Mith himself.
on balance, this gets the score "1/10. See me after class with your parents, guardians, house pets and anybody else I can shout at and blame."
Yeah, pretty good summary
I think "I give up" should be the 'winning' move, and maybe we should give this game a rest. This thing is nowhere near as obscure as some of the stuff the community has solved without even breaking sweat. We successfully got 'whatnot' for one.

Do you give up?

Is it people who give up rather than persevering?
[Givers-up] No... but they are rarely among life's winners.
Toffs?
Chavs?
[Toffs] No
[Chavs] No – but that's worth some applause
Welfare scroungers?
Spivs? Barflies?
[Scroungers] No, but a few more claps
[Spivs] No
[Barflies] No
Black marketeers?
[black marketeers] No - spivs basically are black marketeers, aren't they?
Oiks
Does this word begin with the letter G?
The underclass?
[Oiks] Yes, another smattering
['G-'] Nope
[Underclass] No
Do these people have the vote (if of age)?
Are they mostly male?
Beggars?
Zombies?
Dwarfs?
[Voters, Male] Yes and yes
[Beggars, Zombies, Dwarves] No
Eunuchs?
Do they usually have a fixed abode?
[Eunuchs?!] No. That's a real left-field guess. As cold as clones.
[Of fixed abode] Yes, usually.
Kings?
Are they recognisable at sight?
[Kings] No
[On sight] No. It's a bit like burglars. They might be supposed to wear a black and white stripey top and a mask, and carry a big sack with SWAG written on it, but uniform standards are dreadfully lax these days.
Incels?
[Incels] No, not that lame. [Audience consider clapping, then decide not]
Lottery winners? Does religion come into it?
People who don’t pay their library fines?
[Lottery] no
[Religion] no
[Non-payment] No, as if they'd ever read a book
Is this to do with them being unedicated?
Or uneducated?
[Non-edicated] Yes. A bit stereotypical, but yes.
Another summary. They are: human, linked to crime in a general way, some (more than five) alive today and some not, disreputable, generally male, uneducated, usually of fixed abode, unlikely to read a book, eligible to vote, oiks, a one-word answer in the singular, linked by a psychological characteristic, more numerous after 1900.

They are not (as a defining characteristic): flat-earthers, musical, honest politicians, a sports team, all having the same name, competition winners, Prime Ministers, US Presidents, members of a profession, connected to TV or radio, to do with hats, inhabitants of a small remote place, members of a group one must apply to, linked to a country, linked by a physical characteristic, age-related, sport-related, fans of something, royalty, the Illuminati, Centenarians, astronauts, related to hair, stunt-men, on death row, on parole, the Krays, organised crime, transport-related, kleptomaniacs, cannibals, related to fraud, related to treason, victims of crime, trespassers, to do with war, anti-vaxxers, beginning with P, beginning with G, hackers, Julian Assange, clones, wearers of a uniform, identity thieves, toffs, chavs (applause), welfare scroungers (applause), spivs, barflies, black marketeers, oiks, the underclass, beggars, zombies, dwarves, eunuchs, kings, ghosts, queue jumpers, creators of anything, recognisable at sight, lottery winners, related to religion, derelict about library fines.

Bouncers?
Excellent summary, worth a clap
Yes! However I see 'oiks' in both the am and the isn't sections. They're oikish individuals. But 'oik' is not the AOTC.
[Bouncers] No. But that's also worth a clap. And I suppose some of them might be bouncers.
The unemployed?
A pejorative term?
[Unemployed] Generally yes. Not always officially employed, that's for sure.
[Prejorative] Yes, I suppose. Milder even than oik though.
If there is a term for the Trotters out of Only Fools and Horses, would that be close?
'Cos I'm sure there is one but I can't put my finger on it.
['Entrepreneurs', of course] And no. [Audience titters].
Class-based?
Wide boys?
(Although "according to the Oxford English Dictionary it is synonymous with spiv".)
Charlatans?
Troll?
[Classy] Yes. But not classy.
[Wide] No.
[Charlatanny] No.
[Trolley] No. [A small ripple]
Yob?
[Yob] No. But getting warm at last
Hooligans (a.k.a. hoolies, hooks, or hoods)?
[Hooligans] No. Maybe a smidge warmer?
Oafs?
The only other words I can think of are all rather sweary - so it's probably best I withdraw from the chase ;^)
Would members of this class deny their membership of it?
[Oafs] No. A bit colder with oafs.
[Sweary] No, it's not sweary. After all, this is a family show. :-)
[Denial] Yes, I think most would. Some probably revel in it, but even then self-awareness is not high on the list for these types.
Is some sort of bigotry involved?
Conected wth the military?
Working class?
Do they go around in gangs?
Any connection to public schools?
[Bigots] No, not particularly
[Military] No, not especially
[Working class] Yes, for a very broad definition of 'working'
[Gangs] No, not 'gangs'
[Public schools] No. Well, almost never.
Often under the influence of some drug or other?
The riff-raff?
The Hoi-Poloi?
[druggies] No.
[riff-raff] No. That's one of the closest guesses yet though. [Audience sniggers]
[hoi-poloi] No.
Pikies?
Migrant workers?
Muggers?
[pikies] No
[migrants] no
[muggers] no, but a stronger ripple for that one
Does it begin with R,S or T?
[R,S,T] Yes. :-)
Reprobates?
Travelling folk?
[Reprobates] Yes.
[Travellers] No.
Recidivists?
Teenage herberts?
Drop-outs? Hippies?
[Recidiv] No. Well, a few might be
[Herberts] No.
[Dropouts] No. Again, a few might be.
[Hippies] Pah! No.
Blackmailers?
Forget blackmailers, that doesn't pass the no-apparent crime test.
Ruffian?
Urchins?
[Rrrrruff!] Yes! Boolbar wins. Audience sensation - oh wait, most of them have died of old age. I did say plural, but honestly, I'll assume that was just a typo.
Wait - checking back, no I didn't, I chose a singular generic specimen. Boolbar wins double points for being righter than the wally who set this one.
Oh blimey! I'd better quickly think of something. How about ANIMAL (with a vague link to vegetable and mineral for some parts of the world and for that matter vegetable and abstract as well, but let's ignore all that and stick with the basic ANIMAL or we'll be here all day year.)
Is it found on a coat of arms anywhere?
[Arms] Yes, I've swiftly found one on Google.
Popularly thought to represent a country?
Living in the sea?
Four-legged?
This should be quick...
[Country] I would suspect a lot people would think of this animal if one country was mentioned.
[Sea] Mainly.
[Four] No.
dolphin?
Does it have a shell?
The Galápagos tortoise?
A capillary-challenged eagle?
A whale?
Just Say No.
[Dolphin] No
[Shell] No
[That Tortoise] No
[That Eagle] No
[Whale] No
Is it a bird?
Could you lift one of these?
[Birdy] Yes!
[Lifty] Personally I could lift most of them, but I'd draw the line at the larger ones.
A grouse?
A penguin?
[Grouse] The bird rather than a grumbly person? No.
[Penguin] Yes! That's the one. I said it would be quick.

Do p-p-pick up this baton made out of chocolate covered biscuit and I can go and have a nice nap.

We apologise for the temporary interruption to transmission. Normal service has now been resumed.

I need to pay more attention!

This is ABSTRACT, although under another interpretation it is MINERAL
Hidden textconceivably with some non-mineral elements, but these would be negligible
A mountain (mythical or real)?
Mountain? No. *a tiny smattering of applause from the most generous members of the audience*
A geological concept?
A precious metal?
Geological? No.
Precious metal? No.
Is it an effect of animal work?
A figurative phrase or saying?
Effect of animal work? Yes.
Figurative phrase? No.
Made by mammal(s)?
A route or path of some kind?
Made by mammals? Yes.
Route or path? No.
I should perhaps clarify that my answer to Superman's question took "animal" in the AVMA sense of the term.
Made by people?
Reading between the line of CdM's clarification.
A butter mountain?
Made by people? Yes
Butter mountain? No.
An object of veneration?
A sculpture?
Object of veneration? No (except maybe in a narrow and almost certainly misleading sense... so forget I said anything).
Sculpture? No.
An award?
An artefact of modern civilisation?
Does it begin with P?
The Anthropocene?
Now it starts to get interesting…
Award? No.
Artefact of modern civilisation. *applause* In the abstract sense, the best answer is No (though a case can be made for Yes; it’s a question of perspective). In the mineral sense, most definitely Yes.
Begin with P? No—at least not any more.
Anthropocene? No.
The scrap-heap of history?
The Statue of Liberty?
Is it rubbish?
A painting of Mount Fuji?
Scrap-heap of history? No.
Statue of Liberty? No.
Rubbish? No.
A painting of Mount Fuji? No.
Did it have a western name which is no longer used?
Ayers Rock/Uluru, for example.
The Piltdown Man?
Obsolete western nomenclature? No.
Piltdown Man? No.
Forget about the mountain. The audience were too enthusiastic.
Is there just one of it?
Another interesting question.
Unique? Yes is clearly the best answer. In the mineral sense, definitely. In the abstract sense, also Yes—except, from a certain perspective, No.
Is it associated with a particular nation?
Is it an unintentional creation of some kind?
Does it have a flag?
Associated with a particular nation? In the mineral sense, Yes. In the abstract sense, No.
Unintentional creation? (*audience laughter*) No.
Does it have a flag? No.
Is the mineral gold?
A newly-formed island?
Gold? No. (It’s conceivable there’s some small amount involved, I suppose, but even if so, it wouldn’t be a helpful line of enquiry.)
New island? No.
Did the abstract sense exist before the mineral sense?
Metal?
Transuranic?
Abstract sense prior to Mineral? Yes.
Metal? In part, Yes.
Transuranic? No.
Is it wearable?
Does the abstract sense have to do with a work of fiction?
Wearable? *much mirth in the audience* No.
Connected to work of fiction? No.
Anything to do with the hydrocarbon industry?
To do with hydrocarbon industry? No. (There are surely some connections of some sort in the mineral sense (“anything to do with” is a vague phrase), but there’s no connection I am aware of that would be helpful or useful.)
Is there just one of the mineral thing?
Just one of mineral thing? You already asked that! Yes.
Is the physical thing some kind of token that represents the abstract thing?
Some kind of tokeny representation? No. Because I'm feeling really generous, I will tell you that the physical thing is the current instantiation of the abstract thing.
Is it, by definition, the X-est Y in the world, for some X and Y?
X-est Y? Yes *sustained applause*
The biggest pile of crap the world has ever seen?
The US Republican Party? No.
Is it the tallest Y?
Tallest Y? Y! *applause*
The tallest building?
Yes! The AOTC is “The tallest building in the world” which of course has had, and will have many specific instantiations.

I don’t seem to have a baton, but here’s a lightning conductor instead.
The next is a straightforward MINERAL.
Is the material modified by man?
Yes, it is modified by man.
Is it unique?
But is it art?
[CdM] It is unique.
[Tuj] Not a work of art.(A few grumbles in the audience)
Is it a feat of engineering?
[SM] (applause) It is a feat of engineering.
In North America?
(some chuckling in the audience) It is not in North America.
A bridge?
[Rosie] Not a bridge.
Is it fixed in one location?
(The audience are alert to hear how the chair handles this tricky question.)
[B] On balance, the least misleading answer is that yes, it is fixed in one location.
Is it terrestrial?
[SM] (applause) It is not terrestrial.
It's not JWST again is it :-)
It is indeed. I hadn't realised I did that 2 years ago. But some of the answers have changed since then! I'm afraid this baton has been punctured by several micrometeoroids, but it's still almost as good as new.
Well I feel like doing a MINERAL as well.
It’s not JWST again, is it?
Is it terrestrial?
I'm not trying to do the last game's questions in reverse. :)
JWST loop averted
[JWST] I would hope that only a bunch of the uttermost lunatics could manage to get caught in a loop in a game of AVMA.

... So, um, I suppose I should double-check then. (Double-checks AOTC) Nope. Definitely not the JWST. (Phew)

[terrestrial] Yes.

Is it fixed in one location?
oblig?
WTF is the JWST?
[fixed] No.

[Rosie] James Webb Space Telescope

A means of transport?
Jwst checking
[Transportation] No.
Is the material modified by man?
[man-modified] Yes.
Is there only one of it?
[Can there be only one?] No, there's loads
A drone?
Do you have at least one of these in your house or garden?
[drone] no
[in my house] yes, come to think of it.
A mobile phone?
[mobile] No. The oldest member of the audience peers farsightedly at their device and then claps, causing nonplusment among younger audience members
A remote control?
A pot? As in plants and cooking?
[Remote] No. Colder again
[Pot] No.
A ham radio device?
[Ham radio] No.
Did these exist in the year 1900?
[1900?] No, but in checking I was fascinated to discover that the fundamental discovery in use for the AOTC goes back to the late 1800s.
A metal detector?
Something powered by electricity?
[Metal detector] No.
[Electrickle] Yes.
A walkie-talkie?
[Walkie and/or talkie] No. The audience member, by the way, was just looking at an older-model mobile phone.
A hand tool?
[Hand tool] No, tenuously hand-related at best
An immobile phone?
[immobile] No. In fairness, the AOTC is not unheard-of on some older immobile phones.
An electrical component?
A loudspeaker?
An antenna?
First built 1888 by Hertz.
[Electrical component] Yes. (Claps from audience)
[loudspeaker, antenna] No and no. It took a long time before anyone found any application for the original discovery.
A battery charger?
[battery charger] No, not a battery charger. And can I just say I think it's disgraceful that we still keep chargers in such cruel and cramped conditions in this day and age?
Does it emit light?
A laser?
[emit?] No.
[laser] No.
A microphone?
A calculator?
[microphone] No
[calculator] No, (but a few more claps.)
A Leyden jar?
[jar] No. Too early.
A keyboard? With physical buttons?
A capacitor?
Quick consultation of the RS catalogue...
[keyboard] No.
[capacitor] No. I think it should be in there though.
A crystal radio?
Does it have any mechanically moving parts?
[crystal] No, but a clap or two.
[mechanically moving] No.
A movie prop?
An aerial?
[Props, aerials] No for both, and audience boos for getting colder.
Does it have a visual function?
Solid state semiconductoion (aka rectification)?
[Visual] Yes. [Back from boos to strong claps]
[rectification] No.
A liquid crystal display?
Raak wins!
[LCD] YES, that's the bunny.
I shall now ceremoniously hand over this thin grey-green rectangle with circuitry hanging from it, bearing an ancient congratulatory message: 'PC LOAD LETTER'.
Raak is going to choose the James Webb Space Telescope
I can tell...
I think Raak has been swallowed up by one of the Black Holes discovered by the JWST.
Let’s have another MINERAL. I can’t be sure that someone, perhaps even me, has not done this one before, but it’s not the JWST.
Doeas
Does it have a scientific application?
Dunno what went wrong there.
Is it a manufactured object?
[R] There is no known scientific application.
[SM] Not manufactured.
Stone?
Terrestrial?
[S] Not stone.
[SM] Non-terrestrial. At least, not specifically terrestrial.
Can you lift it?
[R] You cannot lift it.
Is there more than one of these things?
[S] It is not a countable sort of thing.
Is it the universe?
[SM] Not the universe. (There's exactly one of those, by definition.)
Is it an abstract concept?
[R] That could be argued either way, but for the sake of definiteness I'll say it is not an abstract concept.
The atmosphere?
[R] Not the atmosphere.
The ocean?
[R] Not the ocean. Non-(specifically)-terrestrial.
Related to planetary bodies?
Is it matter in one if the four basic forms?
[SM] Not related to planetary bodies.
[B] I’m not sure what the fourth basic form would be (plasma? neutronium? a black hole?), but this is not any form of matter.
Is it a form of energy?
[C] applause! It is a form of energy.
Sunshine?
[R] Not sunshine.
Dark energy?
Is motion involved?
Motion, I said, not motions.
[Rosie] Nobody knows, because...
[Radox] It is Dark Energy. Have this invisible baton that no-one is sure exists.
Energized
That was rather enjoyable, I'm not sure anyone foresaw that as being a property of Dark Energy. I am hesitating between something easy and something ridiculously specific. Therefore MINERAL is indicated, and if you hear a mysterious voice you should consult a doctor.
Is it ridiculously specific?
Terrestrial?
Is it made of glass?
Is it definitely known to exist (or have existed)?
[CdM] Yes. Not the James Webb Space Telescope, more like the receiver of the high gain antenna on the James Webb Space Telescope. Once you are getting close to this object, it will be fairly straightforward to get to the details (famous last words). And it's nothing to do with the James Webb Space Telescope.
[Boolbar] Yes.
[Tuj] No.
[Raak] It exists, has existed, and all bets are that it will exist for a bit longer.
The diagonal line forming the central part of the "N" on the Willie Rushton plaque at Mornington Crescent station?
ex-Great Western suburban 2-6-2 tank locomotive no. 6106?
It is a component of a man-made device?
Is it a doohickey?
[Tuj] No. Sadly.
[Rosie] No. Nothing to do with trains.
[Raak] It is part of something that was made by man, but hardly qualifies as a 'device'.
[Simons Mith] No. Nothing to doo with hickeys.
Is the capstone of a pyramid?
Are there more than one of this?
Is it a single colour?
Trying to be an increment more useful :)
One of the nine detectors that have been constructed at the Large Hadron Collider?
The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God?
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] There are, yes.
[Tuj] Pretty much, yes.
[Chalky] No. Hint: Far too recent.
[Raak] Nor isn't it.
Is it a weapon?
Are they found on multiple continents?
Are they all smaller than a toaster?
Related to architecture?
[Rosie] No.
[Tuj] No.
[CdM] No. It is larger than the entry for "largest toaster" in the Guinness Book of Records.
[Raak] Yes! (A collective mutter breaks out in the audience.)
Is this thing in the UK?
A castle ruin?
[Superman] Yes.
[Rosie] No.
Something to do with a bridge?
Ancient?
Made of stone?
Stonehenge?
[Boolbar] No.
[Simons Mith] Let's say in the last millennium.
[Raak] Yes!
[Rosie] No.
Concrete cows?
Related to ecclesiastical architecture?
[Simons Mith] No. But that would have been excellent had I thought of them.
[Raak] Yes! Raak wins three exclamation marks in a row and can now go for the big prize.
Bell towers?
A ruined abbey?
[Raak] No.
[Rosie] No.
Is it visible inside the church?
Are they in or part of a single building?
Stained glass?
[Raak] Yes!
[Tuj] Yes!
[Simons] No.
A rood screen?
The Tomb of the Unknown Warrior?
Is the church in question in England?
A font?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Bismarck] No.
Are all of them in a single church?
The spandrels on the northern side of the nave of the Church of St Peter and St Paul, Lavenham?
[CdM] Awww. I didn't even know St Peter and St Paul was dog-friendly.
Raak] Yes! (These things do exist in many churches, but the one I'm thinking of is only in the one church.)
[CdM] No. But definitely in the right sort of ballpark.
In London?
A Cheshire Cat?
An entrance or arch?
A Gargoyle?
[Raak] No.
[SimonsMith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Chalky] No.
Is the church actually a cathedral?
A pipe organ?
(Please assume the above is in italics.)
Bespoke embroidered hassocks?
I'm sure there's some church that has done something unique with its hassocks
A great dome?
[Being more sensible again]
A pulpit?
[Boolbar] No.
[CdM] Yes!
[Simons Mith] No.
[Raak] No.
Is the church Durham Cathedral?
[SM] I don’t think Great Domes are allowed into St Peter’s and St Paul’s.
[Raak] Yes! Out of all the cathedrals, why did you go for that one?
The Lego model of Durham Cathedral contained in Durham Cathedral?
Pure chance. I am also modestly ahead on all the lottery tickets I have ever bought.
A particular bible?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
Durham Cathedral's World Heritage Marker?
A collection box?
You get those everywhere ;-)
Is there a Harry Potter connection?
Is this thing specific to Durham Cathedral?
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[Boolbar] No.
[Bismarck] Yes! At least in the sense of the AOTC, which while all cathedrals have them to my knowledge, Durham's are unique, and don't forget the answer is quite specific.
The highest cathedra in Christendom?
Part of a tomb?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
Is it in the nave?
[Bismarck] Yes!
The tomb of a saint?
Something to do with the floor?
[Raak] No.
[Boolbar] No.
I'm pretty stumped here. Am resisting Wikipedia though
There aren't that many things that you would find in the nave of a cathedral, Durham's are unique and there's a specific bit of one of them which is the answer on the card. Start with the obvious!
Something to do with the roof?
The first structural use of the pointed arch?
Not the answer
A sudden thought struck me - but it's Ely Cathedral that has a particular notable table in its nave at the moment.
1
1
555
1
555
1
555
1
555
[Boolbar] ...No.
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] Hint : not movable.
[1] No.
Since this is supposed to be a quite specific thing, the fortieth flagstone counting from the end?
Something to do with pillars?
Skateboard ramps?
It's a long shot, but I love the mental image of a bishop in full regalia doing an ollie
[Bismarck] No. Nice try, though.
[Boolbar] Yes! A verse of Hymn 116 breaks out in the audience.
[Simons Mith] No. Although there was that Bishop of Durham who might well have tried it had it been suggested.
They're carved, them pillars, is that it?
Is it a single one of the pillars?
[Bismarck] Yes! That is part of it.
[Raak] Yes! It is a part of that, too.
if you have never been to Durham Cathedral, then go now. If this is not possible, I don't suppose anybody would object to Googling some of the images of the pillars.
And...so...
Something to do with what material is used?
[Boolbar] No. Try guessing which pillar.
The fourth one on the right?
[CdM] No. But you're very close.
The fourth one on the left?
SimonsMith - Not that one. Hint: on the right.
Is it the way a pillar is carved?
[Boolbar] That is also an acceptable way of identifying the AOTC.
The fourth one on the left, coming from the other direction?
That wasn't quite as easy to work out as one might think. So
[CdM] Yes!
And I declare that to be the answer. Take this sculpted sandstone baton and go forth!
Congrats to CdM.
Is that pillar called the apprentice column? I have discovered a lot about Durham Cathedral (very educational this game) but that fact eluded me.
Apprenting
Yes, that's it. Luckily I stopped at ridiculously detailed answer and didn't go for asking for that error, or we'd still be here!
Whew.
Let’s follow that with a nice easy VEGETABLE
Does it rhyme with 'parrot'?
Wood?
Would it fit in my fridge?
Is it unique?
Rhymes with parrot? No. (Nor does it rhyme with "faddish", "holly flower", or "dead Babbage")
Wood? No.
Fridgeable? Yes.
Unique? No.
Does it have three syllables?
Trisyllabic? Yes!
Is it a fruit?
Is it perishable?
Does it having writing on it?
Is its Scrabble score > 15 ?
Ignoring double and triple word scores, but counting blanks as zero if there aren't enough of the right letters in a standard Scrabble set, and assuming a 50 point bonus for 8 letters or greater.
Obviously a word not valid in Scrabble scores zero
Fruit? No.
Perishable? Yes—but perhaps not especially so.
Inscribed? No.
Scrabble >15? According to the rules you specified, Yes.

A few clarifications/elaborations. I should have noted that there is usually a small MINERAL component and there can be an ANIMAL component. There is also a bisyllabic version of the AOTC (which would not score >15 in scrabble).
A processed food product?
Is a sport involved?
Is it commonly rectangular?
Processed food product? Yes (at least by the broad definition of "processed").
Sport involved? No.
Rectangular? ( a little laughter from the easily amused members of the audience ) No.
Is it green?
Amber?
Would it be found in the supermarket aisle where the crisps are?
Green? I hope not.
Amber? Not exactly, but that's in the right part of the spectrum.
Found with crisps? Interesting question. Sometimes, but it might also be found elsewhere.
Dried bananas?
Fizzy?
Dried bananas? No.
Fizzy? No.
Peanuts?
Peanuts? No.
Something you spread on bread and butter?
Opensandwichable? No.
Is it a rigid solid?
Is it a rhizome?
Is it spicy?
A crisp?
Does it have a mole in it?
Rigid solid? Solid—Yes. Rigid—It depends
Rhizome? No.
Spicy? Sometimes.
Crisp? No. (but a smattering of applause)
Moley? No.
Potato based?
Is the mineral salt?
Potato-based? No.
Salt? Salt is a very common ingredient. There might also be another mineral component, although it appears to be less common. (The possible ANIMAL component that I mentioned seems to be very unusual and is probably best ignored.)
(Also, in my answer to the "crisps" question, I said it might also be found elsewhere. That should not be understood to mean that the crisps aisle is the most likely place to find it in the supermarket.)
Crumpets?
As opposed to crumpet
Biscuit like?
Is more than one vegetable involved?
Crumpets? No.
Biscuit like? Um. Depends which dimension of buiscuitness you’re thinking about. I’ll say more No than yes.
More than one vegetable? Possibly, but the AOTC has one main distinctive vegetable ingredient.
Made from rice?
Rice-based? No.
Does it go hard when it's stale?
Bread?
Hard when stale? *audience murmurs in appreciation of the question* No.
Bread? See previous answer.
Is this edible in its natural form?
Made from a legume?
Originally Mesoamerican?
Do Kellogg's make a version?
Edible in natural form? Yes, technically.
Made from a legume? Yes.
Mesoamerican? No.
Made by Kellogg's? I'm pretty sure the answer is No.
Made from chick peas?
Baked beans?
A beanburger?
Chick peas? No.
Baked beans? No.
Beanburger? No.
Erratum: I have always identified the AOTC with one particular legume that has not yet been mentioned. However, further research reveals that there are variants, including the possibility of making the AOTC with chick peas.
Well now I can think of a two syllable word, but not the three.
Is the AOTC tofu-related?
Also, TIalsoL about Burmese chickpea tofu.
A waffle?
Pesto?
Soybeanish? No.
Waffle? No.
Pesto? No.
Poppadoms?
Lentil based?
A Poppadom (just one, I'm afraid) is indeed the AOTC! (So, yes, lentil-based). No one asked the P question. I and the audience were very taken with the fact that a poppadom actually goes soft when stale.

Have this rather fragile disc-shaped bato— erm, have these crumbs.
Does it -
Ah, too late, sorry.
Hmm. Thought of an ABSTRACT last night.
Begin with 'P'?
First mover.
Does it end with a 'P'?
At my age most things end with a 'p' at night.
Is it an -ism?
[P----P] No to both ends
[ism] No
A dream?
Is it the absence of something?
Is it the presence of nothing?
[Privatives, vaccuum] [No and nope]
[dreaming] Also no
Is the AOTC a single word?
Thought?
[unmarried word] yes
[thought] No.
Logic?
Could it exist in the absence of life?
[Logic] No
[Post-universal extinction] Yes.
Mathematical?
Inclement weather of some sort?
[Mathematical, weather] No twice.
Artistic?
[Artistic] ... Yes.
Beauty?
A colour?
[Beauty, colour] No and no.
Connected to music?
[Muscial] No...
A natural creation?
[Natural] No.
Is it something observable?
[Observable] Yes. [I did change my mind about this answer, but on reflection I decided you would have to narrow the definition of 'observable' significantly before it no longer fitted.]
A behaviour?
An instinct?
[Behaviour, instinct] No, you're all getting colder again.
When were we warm?
[Chalky] For me, some time around last September.
Is it spatially located?
[Spatial] No, not especially.
Would it exist if no-one were there to think of it?
[thoughtless existence] yes, I think
Entropy?
Aesthetic?
[Entropy] no
[Aesthetic] yes, but isn't that repetition?
A law of nature?
Recap 1
Artistic, observable, concept that is universal. Not an ism, nor related to maths/physics, seems unrelated to a being or personality.
Photosynthesis?
[legal, photonic] No and no.
[recap] Yes, pretty much.
Beauty?
Do you embody this?
[Radox] I see your pessimistic "1" ;)
Would it exist if the Earth and all its contents did not exist?
[Beatty] No.
[Tuj, embodiment] Do people embody it? No. If you meant in a broader sense, then maybe yes but you'll have to clarify.
[Independent of Earth's existence] No. I suppose it could maybe arise independent of Earth, but based on current knowledge I can only give a firm no.
A view?
[Hygge] Cute, but no.
[Views, whether vistas or opinions] No
Is it something observable using the sense of sight?
Is it an extreme?
[Extreme] No
[Observable using sight] No. I've been uncertain about the best answer to that for several days.
Would it be observable using a sensor for some other range of electromagnetic radiation?
Evil?
[Observable in EM] No.
[Evil] No.
Is it a sound?
Being foreign?
[Sounds] Yes (applause) Now you're getting somewhere...
[Furrin] Nah.
The Last Trump?
That riff from Also Sprach Zarathustra?
[Any number of Trump] Ingenious, but no.
[Also Sprach] Also no
Is the sound a song?
Is it a sound that most of us are likely to have heard?
It's an observable artistic sound which is unconnected to music. It's aesthetic, and not a natural creation, yet could exist in the absence of life and without anyone to think about it.
The Music of the Spheres?
Is it recorded on the Voyager discs, currently somewhere beyond Pluto?
Traffic noise?
A sound made by a fluid?
Zounds!
[Omnes] No. CdM gets a smattering, but even amongst this erudite crowd I can't see many of us having heard the AOTC. Still, I am of a STEM bent, and who knows what perversions students of, say, English get up to in private.
On second thoughts, I said "having heard the AOTC". Slightly better phrasing would have been "having heard an AOTC".
The sound of a tree falling, when there is no-one there to hear?
Is the sound recorded?
I remember in primary school I had a teacher who had a really old wax cylinder gramophone and once played a recording of Tennyson himself reading the "Charge of the Light Brigade".
[tree falling] No.
[audio recording] No. (A borderline answer, for the same reasons as whether it was sight-observable)
Is it artistic as a sound _qua_ sound?
The sound of one hand clapping?
[Artistic as a sound] Yes.
[One hand] No, too Zen
The sound of Raak hammering the taiko?
So I'm going for the double: is this a memory of a sound?
Is it known when this sound first occurred?
Over two months, better pull our socks up!
[taiko] No (Wish I'd thought of that as a q.)
[memory] Good guess, but no. (That too)
[known] Yes, actually. (Well, there's the usual scholarly quibbling)
An echo?
Is this sound only speech?
[Echo] No.
[Speech eech eech eech] No, more than speech.
The Big Bang?
Is it in a specific language?
Please ignore "in" of that's a better question...
[Bang] No
[Specific language] No. Trivia: The first one was in French, though
Is this "My Way", originally recorded as "Comme d'habitude"?
Since elapsed time is greater than a certain amount since the last proposition: is it anything to do with national anthems?
[Bismarck] No, twice. It's not musical
Something to do with recording sounds?
Is the sound made by a human?
[recordings] No
[human-made] Yes. At least, I don't think ChatGPT has had a go, yet
Is it linked to a specific occasion?
Summary:

Via negativa:
Does not end with a P.
Not an ism.
Not a dream.
Not the absence of something.
Not the presence of nothing.
Not thought.
Not logic.
Not mathematical.
Not bad weather.
Not beauty.
Not a colour.
Not connected to music... (those look like significant dots)
Not a natural creation.
Not a behaviour.
Not an instinct.
Not spatially located.
Not entropy.
Not a law of nature.
Not photosynthesis.
Not embodied by people.
Not independent of Earth's existence.
Not hygge.
Not a view (whether vista or opinion).
Not observable with sight.
Not an extreme.
Not observable by electromagnetic radiation.
Not evil.
Not being foreign.
Not the last trump
Not the 2001 theme.
Not a song.
Not a sound that most of us are likely to have heard.
Not the music of the sphere.
Not on the Voyager discs.
Not traffic noise.
Not a sound made by a fluid.
Not the sound of an unheard falling tree.
Not an audio recording.
Not the sound of one hand clapping.
Not taiko.
Not the memory of a sound.
Not an echo.
Not only speech.
Not the Big Bang.
Not in a specific language. (But the first one was in French.)
Not to do with national anthems.

Via positiva:
Is a single word.
Could exist in the absence of life.
Artistic.
Observable.
Would exist if no-one were there to think of it.
Aesthetic.
A sound! (The first real progress.)
An artistic sound.
A sound made by a human.

And not "My Way", originally recorded as "Comme d'habitude".
Does this sound come from a human vocal tract?
[Occasional] No.
[Human voice] Yes, it would do.
Is it the sound of someone imitating something?
Inarticulate?
[Imitation] No.
[Inarticulate] No.
I hope no-one is finding this too frustrating. I find it interesting how close you got and yet the right path has still managed to slip through the gaps between questions.
Is it ceremonial?
Is it humorous?
[SM] Surely you're the one whose frustration limit is most tested?
But is it art?
One originally French word is proving difficult, bien sur.
[Ceremonial] No
[Humerus] No.
[Repetition!] Yes
So it is art, and I win!?
Is it to do with poetry?
Presuming that artistic is the same as art, and so the puzzle continues. Now which of the Nine Arts could be referred to?
[winner?] No, but suddenly you're on the right lines
[Poetry] Yes. It's poetry. Claps and cheers from the audience
A sonnet?
Dies the Morniverse contain examples?
[Sonnet] No, but more claps
[Morniversal examples] No, not as far as I know. But I wouldn't put my shirt on it, because I haven't followed the poetry games very closely. It's possible.
Does it have a specific number of lines?
[Lines] Yes! Strong applause
Is the name of this form of poetry French?
Does it figure on this list?
[Two more yeses] Si and Oui.
A lai?
[Lai?] Non.
Was the first example composed before the 19th century?
A triolet?
[Pre-19th C] Bien sur
[Triolet] Non
A rondeau?
[rondeau, more like nondeau] Guess again.
Villanelle?
Raak did introduce this into the Morniverse over on Orange.
Bismarck has it
Villanelle is the right answer!

Sorry to be inadvertently misleading about there being Morniversal examples. I didn't know that had been done.
In lieu of a baton I shall pass over this lovely scroll sealed with wax.

*claps, cheers, generally goes wild*
Winning
Sorry about the delay, I had to go and lie down in a darkened room for the excitement to wear off. Unscrolling the scroll, I find this
MINERAL
concept for your delight. At least in the AVMA scheme of things, M seems the most appropriate: it might have bits of all of them.
Metalic?
Is it a Char D1 French light tank?
Is it fictional?
Is there just one of it?
And so it begins, unknowing...
[Software] Yes, largely so.
[Simons Mith] Not a French light tank of any kind. But a little bit warm.
[Boolbar] No, there is surely nothing more real.
[Raak] No, there are lots.
Something military?
Functional?
Would I have seen one frequently?
What roads cerebral will be taken...
[Raak] Not military. There may be military versions, but you won't find any book called Jane's Whatever-this-is.
[Chalky] What isn't?
[Radox] I'm pretty sure you're familiar with this.
A bicycle?
A steam locomotive?
Worth a shout even at the expense of cruel mockery.
Has it wheels?
Is it a machine?
In the quest, for only you
[Simons Mith] No.
[Rosie] No.
[Tuj] Yes.
[Raak] Yes.
It is a means of transport?
In the AVMA scheme of things is Metal always 'functional'?
Can comprehend the unseen way...
[Raak] Yes. It's a machine with wheels.
[Chalky] Yes. Mineral, like Animal, Vegetable and Abstract, all have functions.
Does it transport people?
Has it an engine?
In words and images unthought...
[Chalky] Yes.
[Tuj] Yes, it is motorised.
Is it most gregarius?
Is it normally able to transport at least 10 people at a time?
To follow, lead or travel there...
[Simons Mith] Not sure what that means.
[Raak] After thought, yes, though it poses some uncomfortable questions.
An escooter?
A motor-bike and sidecar?
A Tesla?
Does it have a reverse gear?
To unreal phantomatic places ...
[Software] Not an electric scooter.
[Rosie] Not a motorbike with sidecar.
[Radox The Green] Not a Tesla.
[Tuj] !seY
Does it run on rails?
Transport for the disabled/mobility impaired?
Fork lift truck
Has it been in a movie chase scene?
Does it begin with P?
Where transports delightfully await...
[Raak] Not rail guided.
[Chalky] I hope not.
[Software] Not a forklift.
[Simons Mith] Had to look it up, but Yes!
[Tuj] Sadly not, at least none of the common synonyms begin with P.
Was it able to achieve 0-60mph by 1970?
Does the machine stay in one location while moving people around?
[Boolbar] You've given me the idea, and now I want to see a movie with a chairlift chase in it!
Those lost and numb to ordinary love...
[Simons Mith] Difficult to say. On balance, No.
[Boolbar] No. Nice lateral thinking though.
Are these road legal?
A steam roller?
A light aircraft?
Though still the sea kisses the golden shore...
[Raak] Yes, very legal.
[Simons Mith] Not a steam roller.
[Rosie] No. A piece of three-dimensional thinking there.
Is it made by a particular marque?
Does it run on electricity?
A boat of some kind?
One of those special airport vehicles?
The Popemobile?
I really want to imagine that's been in a chase scene
With skies aflame in the sun rising..
[Tuj] No, there are many.
[Raak] As of today, yes.
[Rosie] Not aquatic.
[Superman] I think you'd find them in airports too, but they aren't specific to airports.
[Simons Mith] Not the Popemobile.
Is it larger than the average car?
Of an endless dawn awaking...
[Tuj] Yes it is.
A railway coach?
Diddly-dee, diddly-da.
Is it a Bagger 288?
I'm sure they're road-legal...
A low-loader?
Would you reject this heaven...
[Rosie] Not a railway coach.
[Simons Mith] Not a Bagger of any size.
[Raak] Not a lo-loader.
Does it primarily carry things other than people?
A vehicle transporter?
A cherry picker?
And still remain, and still remain?
[Raak] Yes, it does other things than carry people.
[Chalky] Not a transporter.
[Simons Mith] Not a cherry picker.
Is it for transporting fluids?
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