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So the Danish guy dies
help
Well, we've all seen those promising trailers that make the worst films seem like the next Oscar winner - how about writing a description that makes a classic sound absolutely dire? e.g. So there's this teenager and he hates his mother and his stepdad and there's loads of drugs and gore and they all die. Only better, hopefully. And without Mel Gibson.
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Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
The movie begins when the earth blows up, this is found to be insignificant.(I know that the movie is not out yet but hey)
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV version)
The plot is of the radio series is chopped up, rearranged and generally screwed around with. This is also found to be insignificant.
The Taming of the Shrew
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes!
Yes!
Danny the Champion of the World
His father is a petty thief, and he learns petty theivery from him. No-one dies.
Citizen Cane
Rosebud was his sled.
Polar Express
Turn off, tune out, stop thinking and believe.
Indigo
Turn off, tune out, stop thinking and believe.
What The Bleep
Turn off, tune out, stop thinking and believe.
Koyaanisqatsi
An exultant celebration of the peak of Western civilisation.
Mary Poppins
The singing nanny demonstrates a deft touch for childcare and gets off with the chimney-sweep.
The Sound of Music
The singing nanny demonstrates a deft touch for childcare and gets off with the baronet.
Alien 3
Sigourney Weaver gets a haircut, everyone runs about for a bit, then Sigourney Weaver dies. Warning: contains scenes involving Charles Dance.
Koyaanisqatsi
[With apologies to Raak] An exultant celebration of nature vv the pits of Western civilisation.
Koyaanisqatsi
[with apologies to Raak and Bob] A bunch of disjointed images with music to match.
The Naked Gun
Frank Drebin attempts to prevent the assassination of the Queen using all the skill, subtlety and ingenuity of the real-life police force. The main clue that it's a comedy is that he succeeds.
The Third Man
Black and white film, dodgy camera work, cheap backing music (a guy playing a zither - can you believe it?). Oh, and the leading man does't appear until an hour into the film. All the hallmarks of a cheap B-movie, I think you'll agree.
Apollo 13
Some astronauts don't die.
The Day After Tomorrow
It gets cold.
The Lost World (Conan Doyle, not Crichton)
Apparently it wasn't.
Mulholland Drive
Surrealism. Murder. Bare breasts.
Dad's Army (the movie)
A group of eccentric old men do considerable damage to the British war effort, but apparently make up for it by capturing a couple of German airmen at the end.
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