(Just to get things started so other people can do someting better and wittier...) Nine companions (of various species) want to destroy a really evil ring. They manage... eventually. The End.

I had something along the lines of, a bunch of guys get obsessed with jewellery, and try to shove this one bit of it in the crack of some guy who lives in a tower with a giant eye. Three of them are really short, and one of the others does magic and stuff. They're also being followed by a skinny, naked midget with a speech impediment, who wants to wear the jewellery, but they set fire to him at the end.

America (again) decides to have a war. However on this occasion a woman gets involved. Lots and lots of 'stuffing' before she finally gets told to piss off.

Rich Londoners go to a lot of weddings. Then one of them dies and they all go to his funeral. And one of them falls for an American woman but is too much of a wuss to do anything about it until right at the end. Oh, and they all swear quite a lot.

The main character is dead when the film begins. What more do you need to know?

A minor character is dead when the film begins. A miserly old scrooge called Scrooge... bah Humbug... Gets spooked three times. Merry christmas everyone. (I ran out of steam a bit; I only wanted to do the first line, then I thought it looked lonely.)

Think of the last time you blew your nose. Think of the noise it made, and that's the soundtrack. Think of what came out of your nose, and that's what the main character's baby looks like. Think of what you did to what came out of your nose, and that's essentially what he does to the baby.

A girl and a boy fall in love, a couple of people get killed... yeah.

An engaged couple break down in their car, so they go to this house they've never been to before and sing, dance and have sex with pretty much everybody there. Aliens make the house disappear. The end.

For anyone who ever said "I'm going to tear up the washstand and pitch it through a window." Nobody falls in love.

Barbara Windsor gets her tits out. That's about it.

A comedy about administrative mistakes and their hilarious consequences.

A hard winter hits New York.