mc5 - So the Danish guy dies

Well, we've all seen those promising trailers that make the worst films seem like the next Oscar winner - how about writing a description that makes a classic sound absolutely dire? e.g. So there's this teenager and he hates his mother and his stepdad and there's loads of drugs and gore and they all die. Only better, hopefully. And without Mel Gibson.

Dujon

Gone With the Wind

America (again) decides to have a war. However on this occasion a woman gets involved. Lots and lots of 'stuffing' before she finally gets told to piss off.

Irouleguy

Four weddings and a funeral

Rich Londoners go to a lot of weddings. Then one of them dies and they all go to his funeral. And one of them falls for an American woman but is too much of a wuss to do anything about it until right at the end. Oh, and they all swear quite a lot.

Breadmaster

Citizen Kane

The main character is dead when the film begins. What more do you need to know?

Knobbly

Any version of 'The Christmas Carol'

A minor character is dead when the film begins. A miserly old scrooge called Scrooge... bah Humbug... Gets spooked three times. Merry christmas everyone. (I ran out of steam a bit; I only wanted to do the first line, then I thought it looked lonely.)

Darren

Eraserhead

Think of the last time you blew your nose. Think of the noise it made, and that's the soundtrack. Think of what came out of your nose, and that's what the main character's baby looks like. Think of what you did to what came out of your nose, and that's essentially what he does to the baby.