mc5 - Conversation ƒtoppers

In the words of Dunx: "I suppose it's a long way off yet, but listening to this week's ISIHAC I liked the game of "Opening Lines" where the players would provide a line guaranteed to end the conversation with famous personages. Eg - "So, Mr Bush - is English your first language?" "Table for Mr Stringfellow and his granddaughter!" To Rod Hull - "Where's your emu?" Well, it made me laugh a lot anyway."

Dujon

To any Australian Labor P.M. - "Care for a swim?"

Dujon

To any Australian Liberal P.M. "Gough Whitlam's a mate of mine."

Dujon

To Sven Goran Eriksson - "How do you fancy your chances?"

widey

Open university rep......"Well Mr Pott what do you think of our distant learning packages"?

widey

widey to widey......When you going to learn to write HTML?????

Falstaff

Ernst Lehmann of the Hindenburg ...."It was no easy task Captain, but I have located the Hydrogen leak ... doesn't appear to be a problem ... I'll patch it up soon's I have a smoke."

Dujon

To Margaret Thatcher - "Wonderful place, the Argentine."

Dujon

To Charles De Gaul - "Is it true that the polls have you a nose in front?"

Rosie

To Sven-Goran Eriksson - "You've been watching The Muppets again, haven't you?"

plump

To Yasser Arafat - Are you sure you're not Jewish?

Dujon

To Stirling Moss - "And how many drivers' championships did you win?"

Rosie

To Thelonius Monk - "Jazz Greats? Yes, it does a bit, doesn't it?"

Breadmaster

To King Harold - "Careful! You'll have someone's eye out with that!"

el sico

To Miss Piggy - "So, does it really taste like chicken?"

Robin

Sir Stafford Cripps (as presented by Lowell Thomas) - ...introducing the eminent politician, Sir Stifford Craps.

Ziggy

To Paula Radcliffe on handing her half a Snickers bar - "Do you want to finish this marathon?

Breadmaster

Or alternatively - "What was the name of that quiz show that Henry Kelly used to host? Can't remember it for the life of me!"

Dujon

To the Australian Womens' Eight -

'Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Gold is but a dream'

Rosie

To Henry VIII - "Today we call it serial monogamy".