...said he didn't care what punishment I got, provided that he could dance on my grave. He then abruptly excused himself, saying he had to return to Camp David and...

...study for his pretzel-eating exam. Forced to study once again prison interior designing, my thoughts turned to...

..Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen, as I thought that he too should be locked up. What he can't do with a few square metres of MDF is not worth considering. However, as I pondered changing rooms, i suddenly had...

a brilliant idea for a new chutney recipe! All I would need would be vinegar, sugar, swedes and...

...Norwegians. Something in the cold air of Scandinavia...

...always inspires me to making chutney out of obscure ingredients, which is why the doctor recommends that I never repeat my visit. Meanwhile, back in the cell, I noticed that in one corner of the room was...

...a small, grey, boggled-eyed creature wearing nothing but a ragged pillowcase. I asked it what it was - "Vladimir Putin, Mrs Trellis, come with a terrible warning", it said. I interrupted it to insist adamantly and boygeorgely that I was not Mrs Trellis, however no sooner had I done so than...

..the cell door flew back and the highly recognizable outline of the Grim Reaper stood, surrounded by the usual swirling smoke effect. He took one pace forward and reached out with his grizzly hand and...

...declared "Mrs Trellis, you're Game for a Laugh!". Clearly, I had no choice but to...

...kick him in his bony groin and leg it down the hole he'd come through. Unfortunately, though, it led to...

...a warren of rabbits, who appeared to be having a tea party (or maybe it was a sex orgy),in any case, they were quite agitated by my arrival until I told them...