...said he didn't care what punishment I got, provided that he could dance on my grave. He then abruptly excused himself, saying he had to return to Camp David and...

...study for his pretzel-eating exam. Forced to study once again prison interior designing, my thoughts turned to...

..Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen, as I thought that he too should be locked up. What he can't do with a few square metres of MDF is not worth considering. However, as I pondered changing rooms, i suddenly had...

a brilliant idea for a new chutney recipe! All I would need would be vinegar, sugar, swedes and...

...Norwegians. Something in the cold air of Scandinavia...