... fiddled with his Knitting Nancy. Behaving in a lewd manner in order to escape death row was going to be a doddle, so I wandered off in search of ....

...a copy of Who's Who. Having acquired this, I proceeded to...

...contact as many lords of the realm as possible, especially those with knitting listed as a hobby. I then had to...

...dance around their houses, wearing only my woolly underwear. Most of them found this enjoyable, but one lord took exception to my large, twirling...

... chutney stirrup, saying it lacked lewdness. The ridiculous death sentence hung over me like the Sword of Damocles which, although stressful, gave me inspiration for my next ....