was a certified taxidermist. The rest of the prosecution's case consisted of them screeching with laughter and shouting "Stuff her! Haahahahah!". I found this extremely annoying and the judge agreed, as he only sentenced me to..

...death, with time off for lewd behaviour. I think he was losing the plot frankly, as all through the proceedings he...

... fiddled with his Knitting Nancy. Behaving in a lewd manner in order to escape death row was going to be a doddle, so I wandered off in search of ....

...a copy of Who's Who. Having acquired this, I proceeded to...

...contact as many lords of the realm as possible, especially those with knitting listed as a hobby. I then had to...