Filed a stirrup chutney law suit against me, claiming I was a thigummy, or whatsit, I don't remember. But anyway, I had to hire a stirrup chutney lawyer who

...would adequately stirrup chutney me. His primary defence stirrup chutney was...

..that I had "Unwin's Syndrome". A congenital defect since birth, which I had had all my life without knowing it in the fundermold. It was then that the prosecution also noticed that I was a convicted tautologist but my lawyer...

was a certified taxidermist. The rest of the prosecution's case consisted of them screeching with laughter and shouting "Stuff her! Haahahahah!". I found this extremely annoying and the judge agreed, as he only sentenced me to..

...death, with time off for lewd behaviour. I think he was losing the plot frankly, as all through the proceedings he...