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Electric sock treatment
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C'mon, let the dog see the rabbi...
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I have just heard Cliffs Christmas single. It really was poo.
[pen] What sort of wok do you do, anyway?
[Btd] You can always really on Cliff for a hit song. (A vice: a joke's always worth repeating, whether it's god or not.)
I prefer traditional Christmas Carols like 'Away In Anger' and 'Ark! The Herald Angels Sin'.
Not to mention "Angels, from the realms of gory"...
[Chalky] Oh, I just love Chrismas carols. My favourite is "Oh Little Ton of Bethlehem".
I'm partial to "Santa Claus Is Coming To Own".
Or my favorite (!), "Winer Wonderland".
The one from the film out at the moment... "Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas"
"Do they Know Its Christmas Tim?" always brings a tea to my eye.
*raises hand* So can we use missing vowels too? Cos that last one was brilliant!
I quite like that lovely carol, Slient Nit.
[Beth] Yes - missing A vowel is OK. However, missing TWO letters, be they vowels or consonants, is a bit cheaty [ZK ;-)].
I bought a hundred cads yesterday. I'm posing them on Tuesday.
I used to be a potman. I gave up because at this time of year there is just too much pot.
[Chalky] I make my own cars and send them all over the word.
[Chalky] No-one complained about the Iliary Aoo! :) My problem at Christmas is that I always eat too much Christmas Pu.
Pinch and a punch for the fist of the moth!
And the same to you with bass nobs on!
I can't believe it's December already--I've still got a large amount of wok left over from last month.
Only 21 hopping days left.
I wandered lonely as a clod
That floats on high o'er ale and ill
When all at one I saw a crow
A hot of olden daffodil.
Avent brings out the poe in us!
My wife wanted something petty for Christmas so I got her an old pedant
I understand that on the night before Christmas nothing stirs - not even a muse.
A friend of mine is going to give his dad a VD layer for Christmas. I, however, am just giving people VDs.
[Dazed5] Indeed, there's nothing like an old git to show you value a fiend.
I am wishing for a lovely pair of long stemmed lasses though I will need to be careful how I get them out the stockings.
I have this range sense of deja u....
[Kim] Yes, we tarted this game with giving and receiving.
Once I get tarted, I cannot sop.
[Boolbar] Stop tat at once.
To change the subject, one of my favourite Fred Astaire films is called Shall We Dane?
Fred is the best! Although Ginger Rogers did everything he did, backwards and in high eels.
[Tos] Fantastic sogs! Omato! Omahto! Otato! Otahto! ...Let's call the hole thin off.
[Hugo] Let's call the hole thin off? Was that from Shall We Dane? I need to watch them all again! Then there's the impossible one in Fred's case - Follow the Feet. I always try and end up cross-eyed!
I believe, his first dane on the silver scree with Ginger was in Lying Down To Io.
There's a film that doesnt get layed much.
I love Fred when he dances with a can in his hand
and I love the way his shiny hoes clatter across the dance floor.
Now Gene Kelly had an altogether more turdy physique. Who can forget that marvellous gin plastered over his face in 'Singing In The Rain'?
People often forge that Jimmy Cagey used to dance as well.
I had to loo that up but you're absolutely rig. According to a sit I fund, he did a bit of sog-and-dane in "Yakee Doode Dany". Apparently he go hi Ocar or Bet Acor hat.
I always loved the films of Alfred Itchcock, such as Dial for Murder or The 9 Steps.
Ah - Itchcock. He cares me to death. I hated The Bids and Ear Widow.
There are a load of Police outside my office with guns and bulletproof vets.
Are they looing for you?
[st.d] hat as the upshot of all the polie? a bi arrest? thanks for ponting me this way, pen
Do they also have rot shields?
And ear gas?
Is it a thin blue lie?
My friend had to call the police the other day. She was being followed by a talker.
I can't work out policemen's ranks despite their wearing tripes on their tunics.
I'm not even sure what all the ranks are. Chef Insector, Contable, Superintent. Some of those probably don't even exit.
What abot the plan cloths branch? The do no ave strips on their leeves at all.
You don't see many copers on the bet nowadays.
Well, they have guns, but none of them have pulled the rigger yet.
A lot of them think it'd be andy to have gus, but I've found gus far from andy
The police ma is your fiend. Don't forge that!
If you want to know the tie, ask a policeman.
A policeman topped me for seeding yesterday.
[Bb] Did you get penalty pints? Or a fin of forty ponds or so?
[pen] The fin for fat diving is massive.
I went through a top sin and got a big fin.
They can evoke your license if it suits them.
The last thing you want is to be caught diving while dunk.
Yes, for anyone booing this festive season, a tax is the solution.
You can also get the nigh bus or the tub hom, if you are shot of ash.
Or get a lift from a fiend
Or get a limo, if you want to be really wank.
... but be sue first - some fiends have a sinful and don't let on.
simul]
If you were really desperate, you could always hit ike.
Our office is being really wanky this Christmas - we're getting a limo to tow for a big night out.
I hope our secretaries are going to get soggy at the Christmas party this year.
[rab] You man, soggy wit you? Are you going to let them get suck in?
Yes, get five in and tonics later on.
I'm not going to work today. My mother-in-law is coming to visit and I have to spend the whole day leaning.
I am owing into wok late because I had a sinful last nigh.
Whenever I get drunk and try and chat up our secretaries, they always make me feel a tit.
[st d] I hope you don't try to rope them!
Ch] If I do that they demand a fee as well.
[st d] Do you give them a surprise rab in the dark? Or do they come to you for one fist?
Do they mind if you lap their bottoms?
soft] Once I asked them to lose their eyes, and I was going to take my pick.....but enough - that ended up with me almost being ired.
Maybe you need to practice a bit of sick chatter? It can work wonders if you give them a bit of the old harm.
Does anyone know where I can get hold of a wetern starring Clit Eastwood?
[Angus Prune] Try your local video sore.
[Angus] Bockbusters should be able to get you out of that predicament!
I was wondering why this thread left me old; crudity is not it.
[Duj] Then look upon it as an olden opportunity to reel back the ears.
[Dujon] Yes, try and remember back to the days when trousers had to have fares and wild air was fashionable, before the days of the micro-hip.
Ah yes... how well I remember the days before the internet, when we had to make do with computer bulletin-boars.
Ah... the golden age of seam.
oh yes rab, rains were SO exciting back then; all that team hugging when the rain pulled away from the platform.
Yes, those old seam trains were fabulous, especially the lying scotsman.
You could ravel first lass, second lass - even third lass !
What about al that moke getting in your eyes though?
Oh, I found it really easy to ride the muts.
Nowadays we've got the titing rains.
Yes, only run by crappy companies like Fist Grat Astern and WAG.
I never take the rain. I dive everywhere, even into tow, but always with the doors locked. I eve dove to the last pilgrimage. Omen, eh??
if we are talking about ars I like the Italian ones such as Fat and Alf Romeo.
Ah, Fit ars! I had an Alf 33 Old Cloverleaf once - had to sell it for crap in the end though. My fiend and I had already pathed up the rut and panted it with silver Hammerite, but it was no god. Happy memories though.
Dazed] I think Alf generally makes the pettiest ones.
pen] I had an Alf once for Tree Moths (Sod it)
Duj] Would you like soem oral support ?
Talking of cars, I one had a Orris 000. Oh, and I had a And Over.
Lad Overs? No - for me it's out for a bun on the open road without a car in the world, a rash helmet on my head and a throbbing Harey Davison between my thighs.
Rage Rovers are the best 4-heel drives.
Reminds me of that joke: what's the difference between a Rage Rover and a hedgehog? The picks are on the outside of the hedgehog.
It was freezing last night - my bedroom is very badly insulted.
[st d] His is a game of Lost Consonants. You lot a vowel, but I'll let you off because it made me iggle, and I think I might do the same - I was tasty in bed last night.
[pen] I felt a bit had myself.
Back to ars, I used to dive a Soda
I spent a whole week on a dive bat.
The light out was petty rubbish though.
I don't dive at all. Why is it the inside of most cars smells of perol, or some sort of boy odour? No ice at all.
I passed my diving test at the fist attempt.
Kim] Was it in an automatic, or did you have to change ears ?
No, it had a ear shit.
Or sick.
My driving kills were perfected by the SM School in Camden Town.
I don't like to bag, but I assed my test fist tie.
I am reading Stephe Hawkin's "A Brie History of Tim" at the minute.
[Tuj] It's a wonderfully eccentric gardening manual, dealing as it does with theories of Black Hoes.
[Tuj, blamelewis] I could never get to rips with that ant-matter myself.
I find it hard to control my pants - they just go rampant in the garden, especially in the summer.
I was working in the garden recently and discovered that a muse had made a home in my shed.
[Kim] You could get rid of it by laying down a rap. Or if you're feeling bloodthirsty try to fatten it with a hovel.
[bl] Believe me, I was temped. Especially when I found muse faces all over the floor.
I am an animal over, I hope you set a human tap.
Leave some poisoned read out, you might find a DEA badge in the morning tough.
Naah. I called in a pet controller. They are ermin, after all...
Treat them as pets, that what I say.
Oh damn. I switched off my brain when I made that pot. What a wit.
Dangerous thing to do, switching off one's rain. You could end up ma or dad!
That's why you should use a condo when having sex...
[bl] Does that mean you can have sex all over the hose?
As long as they're not in pubic areas.
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