You would be forgiven for thinking an earthquake has struck when matt enters the room. A bluff, hearty sort of fellow, his thundering bellylaugh is known as a window-rattler. His easygoing, blokish manner makes him a crowd-pleaser down the pub, as does his seemingly endless repertoire of fart jokes, his gutteral and convivial "Corrrr!"for any lady who passes by, and his willingness, once plied with a few pints, to make the Tahitian girl tattooed on his bicep dance. No one has ever met his wife, but he can hold forth for hilarious hours on the subject of her defects in matters of appearance, culinary skill and intimate relations. In MC play, he favors Ruttsborough and any word game that with scope for sly references to private parts or eliminatory functions.

Néa (short for Grönlinnéa, or "green line") is a 60-year-old Swedish librarian who has lived all her life in the village of Jokkmokk, where she runs the local one-room library. In between reading the books and looking disapprovingly over her half-moon glasses at the occasional visitor, she spends much of her time on postal games of Stora Mossen and Mornington Crescent, and is the president of the Swedish Stora Mossen Society. In recent years she has participated occasionally in the online MC world, although, as she says, it is "not quite the same thing". Few, however, can get the better of her flair with line overruns and tactical blocks on the Earls Court junction. It is rumoured that she was a close friend of Mrs. Trellis "in the old days", but she refuses to be drawn on the subject. She lives with five cats and a large collection of immaculately cared-for cacti.

After a two-year trial ending in 1973, Raak was sentenced to a stay at Her Majesty's Pleasure for reasons known only to a very few people, which may, or may not, include Raak himself. Raak quickly made friends with the prison's librarian and has since immersed himself in the institutions weighty tomes. Thus it is that Raak has become a world expert on every known human tribe and civilisation - and a few more besides. Within the prison, Raak operates the tea and coffee cartel and makes extra money on the side by setting crosswords that can only be solved by ultrapolyglots.

Darren's recent decision to turn his remarkable talents to the world of Mornington Crescent has been universally welcomed by those in the worlds he leaves behind. Whether Char fishing in Greenland, Poker dealing in the Australian outback, or communicating with spacemen in spangly silver suits in Nevada, Darren has invariably found himself - after a surprisingly short time - without peer. Few can keep pace with his accomplishments, and still fewer even attempt it.

Dujon's arrival here is a welcome one, as he has been showing his prowess at PantsMC for some time now. Although born in the home country of MC, he was offered in exchange in the 1950s by ITV to allow Rolf Harris to come to Britain - an event that many regret. In order to hide his pom persona, he masquerades online as an West Indian ex-Test-wicket-keeper (which is why he never plays when it's raining).