Shy, retiring, modest St Dogmael, a clergyman, samaritan in his spare time, amateur volekeeper, world-renowned horsebrass collector and prosthetic leg fitter to the stars, would rather lurk than post, rather agree than argue, rather defer to authority than cause a fuss, and never, never causes offence to anyone. Unfortunately, there's a nasty name spoofer in these MC pages who keeps representing himself as St Dog, St D.* (regular expression) etc., and who is getting the Saint a bad name. And you know what happens when you give St Dog a bad name... I put it down to an over-developed sensitivity to the Velcro fasteners that hold his brolly closed, myself.

Ah, the good doctor, who, like his tardis-travelling namesake, can be found virtually in any place at any time. Erudite, learned, witty, with nary a hint of the malice, agression or repressed hostility that seems so often to pervade the contributions of many of his fellow toilers in the fertile linguistic vineyard that is MC, he straddles the virtual multiverse like a Titan, needing to make nothing more than a comment here and there, the odd line of verse and occasionally an MC move of such subtelty and finess as to defy analysis, to leave us mere mortals quailing and floundering in the bow wave of the battleship of his intellect. Such a pity that his real name's Malcolm and that he's the assistant manager of Beaumont Beds in Lewisham High Street.

Dan may be best known in the MC community for running the MCiOS server, notorious hotbed of radical conservatism, but that is just one tiny corner of the multimedia propaganda empire masterminded by this darling of the New Right. His hectic schedule of rabble-rousing talk radio, Fox News panel discussions, prolific liberal-bashing newspaper screeds (syndicated worldwide) and constant personal appearances everywhere from college campuses to white-supremacist militia camps, leaves barely time for sleep and food, let alone Mornington Crescent. Yet this heroic scourge of the left still manages not only to maintain his own MC site but contribute moves to dozens of games elsewhere, all in his characteristically merciless, go-getting style. Bleeding heart crescenters beware!

The hand-picked successor to Colin Sell, JLE (actually related to Dunx, but neither will admit it) is the foremost proponent of the Ruttsborough Style of MC since, well, Eamon Ruttsborough himself. Quite a shame as he applies it to his music. He is also a well-known amateur cricketer who boasts that he can bowl a wrong'un, despite no evidence of it ever being seen by anyone sober -- along with the claims of hitting 5 sixes in an over (never attested to), and clean-bowling Nick Knight (everyone's done that). When he's not tickling the keys of the piano, keyboard, or his Vauxhall Nova, he can be seen leading the cheers at Manchester City matches with his little baton.

In an effort to hide the circumstance that he is, in fact, an unusually home-loving person who seldom if ever stirs outside the borders of Llandudno, CdM has been known to play MC around the clock, thereby simulating a presence in almost every part of the known world. His hobbies include Sumo wrestling and growing potted fronds, and he works as a part-time name writer for IKEA products.