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King AVMA the III
help
Finally inheriting the title after 70 years.
MINERAL
Is it a mineral?
Not a mineral.
Is it gold-coloured?
[Tuj] Yes, it is gold-coloured.
Is it a hat?
Metallic?
St Edwards Crown?
Hot on the track
[SM] Not a hat.
[R] Metallic, mainly.
[B] Not St Edwards Crown (not a hat).
Does it begin with P?
:)
[T] It does not begin with a P.
Is it Auric Goldfinger's Rolls Royce?
[SM] Not a gold Rolls Royce.
Does it have 8 horsepower?
[SM] It has exactly 8 horsepower less than that figure.
Does it involve the metal gold?
[RtG] Yes! It involves gold.
Ornamental?
Is it a personal ornament?
consults Mycroft...
The least not unmisleading verdicts are:
[R] Yes, ornamental.
[S] Yes, personally ornamental.
A gold tooth?
[SM] Not a gold tooth.
Is it an item of regalia?
An ear-ring?
Not an ear-ring aid
Is it unique?
[B] applause! It is an item of regalia. I wonder whose it could possibly be?
[R] Not an ear-ring.
[T] It is unique!
The Royal Mankini?
[SM] The audience boggles. Not the Royal Mankini, whatever that is. The audience is relieved.
A sceptre?
Camilla's naval piercing?
A Prince Albert?
[R] applause! Not a sceptre.
[C] The audience returns to embogglement. Not a "naval piercing", which sounds like a hazard female crew members might face on the high seas.
[S] Not a Prince Albert.
Is it his magnificent orb?
[SM] Yes, the Sovereign's Orb. Have this genuine replica in real gold-coloured metal and diamond-look acrylic, which plays "Colonel Bogey" when you wind it up by the cross.
OK, time to think of a new one then. Let's have a non-topical ABSTRACT
Is it an 89 degree angle?
[89°] No, not even close.
Unconsciousness?
Is it a 14 degree angle?
[Unconsciousness] No.
[14°] No.
Is the AOTC a single word?
[Single word] Nay.
Could this abstract entity exist in the absence of humans?
Does it consist mainly of words?
Does it begin with P?
[absence] Yes A highly speculative yes, that
[wordy] No. A geek in the audience sniggers and claps, but no-one else gets it
[p?] Nope.
Does it consist of sounds?
[Noises on or off] No.
A past participal?
[particifriends] No
Is it computer-related?
[computery] Yes! An inspired guess; loud applaus from the audience, and even a couple of whoops.
A game?
[a game?] No, but applause continues
A peripheral?
[peripheral] No. Applause abruptly stops, hint hint. Besides, that would be a physical object so it would probably be mineral.
The Metaverse?
[Metaverse] No. Does anyone know what un-clapping sounds like?
[SM] I believe it's done with one hand.
Related to AI?
A standard?
[AI, standard] No, both still too cold for the clapping to restart.
Associated with a particular computer game?
Does a number figure in the AOTC?
[particular] No Clapping resumes
I think you've got it, near as dammit
[numbery] No
Computer games in general?
A winner
[Computer games] Yes, that was the AOTC. Please go to Steam and fill out a pre-order bonus add-on form for your exclusive premium-content custom baton.
The next is MINERAL.
Silicon?
[B] Not silicon.
Unique?
Solid?
[T] Unique!
[R] Solid!
Jewel?
[S] Not a jewel.
Metallic?
Needs processing?
[T] Yes, metallic.
[R] Does not need processing, having already had all the processing it needs.
A manufactured item?
[R] Yes, manufactured.
Is it on the earth?
But is it art?
Is it a particle collider?
[B] On the Earth, but not on earth.
[T] (Sends Mycroft off to investigate. Mycroft returns, shaking his head.) Not art.
[SM] Not a particle collider.
Does/would it float?
[T] It would absolutely not float.
Is it Excalibur?
[SM](The audience is amused by the idea of a moistened bint holding this thing aloft.) Not Excalibur.
Is it made of iron?
[B] Not iron.
Is it larger than a standard double decker bus?
Have the Ukrainians attacked it?
[C] Umm...broadly similar, depending on how "size" is defined.
[SM] The Ukrainians have not attacked it.
Has Tom Scott done a video about it?
Either way, that should clear out a LOT
[SM] As far as I can tell, he has never done a video about it. I'm sure he could, though, and one day he might.
Is it in a single fixed location?
[T] It IS in a single fixed location!
Does it begin with P?
Is it located in a country setting as opposed to a built-up area
[T] Does not begin with P.
[C] In a built-up area.
A drone?
[R] Not a drone.
Is it on top of a building?
Is it in the Southern Hemisphere?
[B] mmm...not on top of a building.
[T] Not in the Southern Hemisphere.
The Shard?
[B] Not the Shard.
Is it in London?
[C] Yes! In London.
Does it bong?
[SM] applause! It bongs indeed.
Is it a bell?
[B] Dancing in the aisles to a Quarter Peal of Kent Treble Bob! It is a bell.
Was it cast by the Whitechapel Bell Foundry in 1858?
[SM] It was indeed!
So, who will say the two words on the card and have the next go?
Is it commonly known as Big Ben?
[B] Congratulations! Have this brass-look replica Big Ben handbell.
Oh, thank goodness; I was a hair away from giving up :-)
Heyyyy it goes bong! too... cooooolll.
The laser display overheated ...
So here is the mystery voice to tell listeners the subject on the card.
This is basically ANIMAL, so have at it there.
Human?
Unique?
[Rosie] Not human.
[Tuj] Not unique.
Alive, alive-o?
Does it begin with P?
Water-dwelling?
Can it fly (on its own volition, not if put in an aeroplane or thrown off a building?)
[Simons Mith] Not alive. Not a crustacean, either.
[Tuj] Doesn't begin with 'P'.
[Raak] Not water-dwelling.
[Boolbar] Cannot fly.
Is this just a part of an animal?
Is this something made from animals?
Do you sit on it?
Do you eat it?
[Rosie] Yes. The audience wake up.
[Raak] Yes. Some claps breaks out in the audience.
[Simons Mith] No sitableupon, at least not in intended use.
[Tuj] Yes! Audience claps vigorously.
Is it soup?
Does it have a misleading name?
[e.g. the disgraceful lack of toad in the toad in the hole, the misleading provenance (and lack of pork content) of so-called Hamburgers etc. Don't even get me started on Rocky Mountain oysters.]
Is this foodstuff made from a mammal?
Could it have been eaten 200 years ago?
Can I order it in a restaurant?
Would it be stored in a fridge?
[Radox the Green] Not soup.
[Simons Mith] After reference to Mycroft, the answer is "No".
[Boolbar] Yes! Spontaneous hoots break out.
[Tuj] Yes, it could have been enjoyed by Napoleon, and may well have been. More muted applause is heard as the audience try and work this out.
[Raak] Yes you can eat it in a restaurant, as long as it's on the menu. Some shouts from the audience.
[Chalky] Doesn't have to be kept cool, but Raak's restaurant probably does store it there. Audience is generally approving.
Is it meat-based?
Has it been in a Monty Python sketch?
Is it preserved in some manner?
Is the mammal a pig?
[Rosie] Yes! whoops and hollers. A small protest by two Vegans based on a mistranslation starts in a corner.
[Simons Mith] Mycroft says NO.
[CdM] Not, it's fresh.
[Raak] Yes! Swine it is. Applause and such.
Pig's trotters?
Bacon?
France is bacon, isn't it?
Has it been named in a Monty Python sketch?
(Actually me.)
[Radox the Green] Not pig's trotters.
[Simons Mith] Not bacon.
[Ra(a)k] Mycroft says "This is a dead python. It is not."
Ham ham ham ham haaaaaammm???
Pork scratchings?
[Simons Mith] Not ham. Nor Hamtaro.
[CdM] Yuck. No.
Is cutlery normally used in the consumption of this?
Pig jerky?
Hidden textHomer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Sweet and sour pork?
[Rosie] Yes! It is most commonly found on a plate and eaten with knife and fork.
[Raak] No. Attention is drifting, some of the audience are arguing about the relative merits of jerked beef and jerked pork.
[Radox the Green] Not sweet and sour pork. Audience restive.
Gammon?
Salami?
A chop?
Has anyone said Sausage yet?
Does it come in a can?
[Simons Mith] Good suggestion, but not quite what is the AOTC. The audience are appreciative.
[Rosie] That's even better than the previous. But it's not the AOTC. Audience holds its breath.
[Raak] No, not salami. Some disgusted looks from the epicureans in the audience.
[Chalky] No, nobody has suggested "sausage" yet. (And if I were you, I wouldn't).
[Raak] No, it doesn't come in a can. Shouts of rage from the epicureans.
Prosciutto?
A slice of bacon?
Does it have a foreign name?
Has the AOTC been processed in some manner?
It's not preserved; it doesn't have to be kept cool; and it is not ham or salami (or any kind of sausage). I feel like I must be missing something obvious, but I am stuck.
Pork Knuckle a.k.a. Ham Hock?
Lard?
Not preserved: check. Doesn't have to be kept in the fridge (but likely would be in a restaurant kitchen): check. Eaten with a knife and fork: er...
Deep-fried lard?
Very well-known French dish :-)
[Raak] Not prosciutto, but some appreciation from the audience.
[Rosie] Not a slice of bacon. Someone in the audience has produced a foldable diagram of a pig and is attempting to make a point by pointing at it.
[Radox the Green] Yes, it does have a foreign name. Cries of "Sacre bleu !" and some laughter from the audience.
[CdM] Mycroft is consulted and states, "Between the fridge and the plate there is preparation. It's called 'cuisine' in the places I patronise, and may be classed as having been ... 'processed'."
[Chalky] Back on the right track, but not right yet. Some audience applause.
[Raak] Not lard - I think you realised that...
[Simons Mith] No. Hoots from the epicureans.
Spare Ribs?
Porky pies?
[Omnes] The reply to Radox above should be interpreted as an AOTC that is not in English. So it's not spare ribs, not a meat pie floater, but could be a kebab (although it isn't).
Ah, so it's foreign food, then? Well, no knowing what sort of strange thing it could be. :)
Is it a confit ...of some part of a pig?
When refrigeration is unnecessary, is that because the pig is still alive at that point?
Is the AOTC in Spanish?
[Chalky] Not a confit.
[Raak] Refrigeration is a bit of a red herring when taken to such lengths. I have known this to come from the pig within a day or so, though not in the UK, but modern practice will presumably demand tracing the chain of cold between slaughter and serving.
[Tuj] No, it isn't Spanish.
French?
In the UK would we consider it offal?
[Tuj] No, it isn't French.
[Raak] No, not offal.
Audience beginning to discuss restaurants in the neighbourhood.
Is the reason Napoleon might have enjoyed it a hideous name-related pun?
Is alcohol involved in the cuisine?
German?
An escalope alla Milanese?
[Simons Mith] Lovely pun, if you refer to beef Wellington, but not that at all.
[Raak] Often served with the dish, but no alcohol is used in cooking or preparing it.
[CdM] JA! it is German. The audience cheer and some ejaculations of "Herr Ober!" and Bier oder Wein, eins muss sein" are heard.
[Radox the Green] Very good! If it wasn't for being Italian and made out of veal, that could well have been the answer. Hint: the AOTC does have a veal version as well. The audience are terribly excited.
Is "wurst" a part of the name of this?
[Raak] I do hope not as I said the word Sausage a while back
[Chalky] I was thinking the same, but then I saw in Wikipedia that "wurst" does include some non-sausage meat products.
[Omnes] It's not a sausage, not tube-shaped, and not known as wurst anything.
It is made from the head of a pig?
Schnitzel?
Calling Dr Raak
[Raak] Could I ask a major favour? I have a mathematical problem I think I've solved, but I need someone with a mathematical head to give a thumb-up or a thumbs down, and maybe to insert a few equations translating some of my prose into mathematical language. Would you be willing to help out? I know you've done the odd bit of recreation mathing in the past - there was your paper on Culture orbitals for example. This is another in that vein. I have found your professional email address online, but I wouldn't just fire off a random message without checking first.
[SM] By all means!
[Raak] Not made from the head of a pig.
[Chalky] Yes! A schnitzel it is. I was actually looking for "Schweineschnitzel" as schnitzels can be veal, but that will do.

Your order of a finely beaten baton fried in chapelure is now presented to you.

maths!
[Raak] Sent. Thank you ever so. It's just an HTML file - should read okay on most browsers. I haven't done anything especially fancy.
Let's keep this simple ..
The laser display flashes up

ANIMAL

SQUIRREL!
[Boolbar] SQUIRREL! NO!
Human?
An individual?
Alive?
Domestic or domesticated?
Legged?
[Rosie] Human? YES
[Raak] An individual? YES
[Tuj] Alive? YES
[Bismarck] Domestic or Domesticated? BOTH
[SM] Legged? YES
British?
A known player of Mornington Crescent?
A politician?
... the business end
[Raak] British? YES
[Tuj] A known player of Mornington Crescent? YES! * Audience whoops and cheers*
[Rosie] A politician? NO
Have they appeared on ISIHAC?
Is it one of us?
... easy does it
[Raak] Appeared on ISIHAC? NO
[Rosie] One of us? YES! * much laughter from the Audience *
Does this person have a misleading monicker?
Does it begin with P?
:D
[Rosie] Misleading moniker? YES!
* Audience goes wild *
[Tuj] Does it begin with P? NO
* Audience unwilds *
Do they claim to be an animal?
[SM] Claim to be an animal? NO
Is it you, Chalky?
Smee, then. Sgoddaby
Done
[Tuj] Not me
* points at him *
[Rosie] YES! 'Tis you my friend
* Audience cheers as a leek-shaped baton changes hands *
Fame at last
I'm rather flattered.

Well, the next one is probably a bit more difficult.
It's ABSTRACT

Is it being rather flattered?
(Boolbar) No such luck, so NO.
Is it an idiom?
Does it begin with P?
(Simons Mith) An idiom? Can be used as an idiom. So a sort of qualified YES.
(Tuj) Pinitial? Not in any language that I know, so NO.
A figurative expression?
(Raak) Figurative? YES, can be used figuratively.
Did the expression exist before 1900?
Is it sanity-related?
Does it refer to a place?
(Raak) Exist before 1900? YES.
(SM) Sanity-related? NO.
(Bis) Refer to a place? NO.
Can it refer to a person?
(RtG) Refer to a person? NO.
Does it relate to time?
(Tuj) The AOTC contains no reference to time but it is nevertheless time-dependent. Hope that makes some sort of sense.
'Out to lunch'?
(SM) There could be tenuous connection there but even metaphorically the answer has to be NO.
Related to fiction?
Is there a film with this title?
Does the sky come into it?
(SM) Related to fiction? NO, it's part of reality.
(Tuj) Film? Not that I've heard of, though I know bugger all about films. According to Google there is a film of this name so the answer, strictly, is YES.
(Bis) Sky involved? Could be, so YES.
Blue sky? (As in "blue sky research")
Does it appear in the Bible?
[Rosie] I'd a feeling that might happen, but figured a qualifier wouldn't be too useful
A weather phenomenon?
(Raak) NO, not blue sky, literal or metaphoric.
(Tuj) In the Bible? Almost certainly, so YES. But again, I am not fully acquainted with The Book.
(RtG) Weather phenomenon? NO.
Fire and brimstone?
Is it something created by the human mind?
Heaven?
(Raak) Fire and brimstone? NO.
(Tuj) In the mind? *a few audience members show signs of amusement* . NO. This objectively exists.
(Bis) Heaven? *audience further engrossed*. NO
Life, the Universe and/or Everything?
(Bis) NO, not nearly so comprehensive.
Is it the absence of something?
(Tuj) Absence of something? YES.
Related to death?
(Tuj) Death? NO.
Vacuum?
(Superman) Vacuum? Interesting - good thinking, but alas NO.
A haitus?
Or a hiatus?
(Projoy) A hiatus? NO.
Is the AOTC a verb?
Does it involve a concept from physics?
(Tuj) A verb? NO. Not even in American English.
(Bis) A concept from physics? YES.
Related to meteorology?
(Raak) There is a link but the AOTC is quite independent of meteorology. So the answer is NO.
Hole in the ozone layer?
(RtG) NOT the Ozone hole.
thoughtlessness?
(Projoy) Thoughtlessness? NO.
Is it a two word answer?
(Chalky) 2 words? YES, but one is the definite article.
Does it exist now?
(that is, in whatever sense an absence can be considered an existing thing)
(Raak) Currently in existence? YES, somewhere.
The heavens?
The Truth?
(SM) NOT the heavens *some audience appreciation*
(Chalky) Boris' nemesis? Alas, NO.
The place, somewhere in the Earth's surface, where (mathematicians assure us) the horizontal wind velocity is zero?
(*on)
(Raak) The essential calm? Er, NO, though there is a possible connection with the AOTC.
Night?
YES - BISMARCK HAS IT! The AOTC is actually The Night but that's near enough or we'll be here, er, all night. I hand you the illuminated baton - you can switch it off when the light improves.
I reckon this is a THHGTTG "Thumb" in disguise. Anyway, the next card has something that is ABSTRACT but could be argued to be MINERAL. If you look over there, you can see Nadine Dorries performing a mime of the subject in a monokini, as the Mystery Voice announces the answer to the audience.
Does it begin with P?
[Ros,Bis] Bravo!
A stoning?
Golden handshake?
The Rock of Ages?
Sandwich Light Vessel? Nope, just some Tupperware
[Tuj] No. We are p-empty.
[Rosie] Not stoning of any kind.
[Chalky] No Midas touch here.
[Raak] Not a rock of any kind, nor a roll.
Is the mineral rock?
A phrase or saying?
Is it a geographic location?
Is it a mythical thing?
The massed choirs of the Mothers' Union will now sing the shipping forecast to the tune of "Deutschland über alles".
[Rosie] No. Please pay attention.
[Simons Mith] Not a phrase, saying, meme, idiom, slang expression or quotation, except insofar as any arrangement of words as the AOTC be a phrase, saying, etc.
[Tuj] Not geographical. Some of the audience shows signs of appreciation.
[Raak] That's a miss.
The wilderness?
A hill-top?
Superconductivity?
North Utsire, South Utsire...
[Simons Mith], [Rosie] - not IN THE SLIGHTEST geographical.
[Raak] On the scale of perfect insulation to superconductivity, the AOTC is not to be found.
Found on Earth?
Heavy metal?
Dogger, Cromarty and Forth...
[CdM] Yes. <>[Simons Mith] If you really want to pursue the mineral side, then yes, there is a reference to metal, though not music.
Dogger, Cromarty and Forth...
[CdM] Yes.
[Simons Mith] If you really want to pursue the mineral side, then yes, there is a reference to metal, though not music.
A cloud's silver lining?
A pot of gold?
North-west backing slowly, showers,
[Simons Mith] No. Not meteorological either.
[Raak] No. No P's, remember.
Hint: The metal is not explicit in the AOTC. It's sort of inferred.
Is the sort of inferred metal ferrous?
Is it a CGI generated character?
Nine hundred and ninety, good.
[CdM] Yes - may contain traces of brass or white metal, but it's largely iron and steel.
[Chalky] No CGI.
Cold steel?
They don’t like it up ‘em.
To do with emotions or temperament?
German Bight and Tyne and Fisher
[Raak] Cold if not working, otherwise quite hot.
[Simons Mith] Some people no doubt get turned on by the AOTC, but it isn't anything to do with emotions.
Striking while the iron is hot?
Force eight, cyclonic, raining, poor.
[Raak] No. (The iron does form a machine of a specific type.)
Is it hypothetical?
By which I mean something like a thought experiment or philosophical concept
But Forties, with all the oil rigs
[Tuj] No.
Any connection to music?
Would people have known about this in the year 1900?
Is it an abstract collection of machines, such as, oh, a steam fair or a tank regiment?
Anything to do with the arts?
A nice day is fairly sure.
[Chalky] No.
[Boolbar] Yes.
[Simons Mith] A collection of machines is implied.
[Projoy] There is a connection to the arts (or one of them).
Any connection to printing?
The telegraph?
Wasn't that something, give them a big hand.
[Boolbar] No printing.
[Simons Mith] Not telegraph, in fact not any sort of media.
Are these metal doohickeys, whatever they are, Preserved for the Nation or otherwise protected?
And now over to the Open Newt-fishing Championships at Rutland Water.
[Simons Mith] No, they are in use. There are a few in museums.
A collection of old steam engines?
Had to get that in
With only the ripple of the water and the occasional twig snapped by the camouflaged men and women engaged in this ancestral sport, one can hear the peeps and squawks of the unsuspecting newts.
[Rosie] The metal objects ARE steam engines, at least some of them are. The two remaining audience members offer polite applause. Now what is the abstract thing associated with this discovery?
Does the abstract thing apply equally to those members of the AOTC that are not steam engines?
Theromdynamics?
that's Thermodynamics
Omnes: Shush!
[Rosie] Yes. Hint: they are also trains.
[Raak] Not thermodynamics.
Travelling upon rails?
If so, are the rails travelled upon scenic?
Beclad in waders and an intense expression, Mrs Fortescue pounces and the net comes up in with not one newt but two! Perfect position and movement of the net has certainly won points from the judges.
[Raak] No. [Simons Mith] See previous answer.
Trains of gears involved?
A convention of steam engine enthusiasts?
Is it something to do with a journey?
Omnes: Shush!
[Rosie] No.
[Raak] That is getting a lot closer. No, but the audience likes it.
[Boolbar] No, other the evocation of travel that comes with trains.
Is the AOTC also the name of a film starring Ewan Macgregor?
(or Ewan McGregor, as he is more usually known)
We interrupt that fascinating duel between man and amphibian to bring you an update on the age of President Biden - 29,522 days, 16 hours, and 32 minutes. These figures may change.
[Raak] [Raak bis] Well, given the slow progress on this one I was considering whether I should accept that as an answer. However I have said that there is no 'p' in the answer and therefore I have to refuse. But you're very close. Alternatively, you are very far away, it depends on your point of view.
Hobby train driving?
Train enthusiasts?
They don’t like you if you call them trainspotters.
Ferroequinologists?
I found that one online; really liked it
We now proceed to our afternoon program of static, lull, and intermission.
[Raak] No.
[Raak] Not either.
[Simons Mith] Remind me to use that in the future. No.
Metalworking?
The railway network?
Beeching cuts?
Our next program, 'Obviously', where all those topics we all know stand to reason will be aired, will come this time on location from the top of the Clapham omnibus, and we'll be answering listener questions. This will be followed at six-thirty by News and Bother with Maureen Lipman.
[Raak] No.
[Simons Mith] No.
[Projoy] No.
Hint: the 'trainspotting' guess could have been accepted. What do aficionados do, or what is the content of their leisure activity?
Making lists of trains?
This question comes from a Mrs Trellis of North Wales. She writes, "Dear Obviously, it seems quite clear that the demistrile under Hardinge's Loop conditions leads only to a stalemate. Why does nobody seem to realise this?" Well obviously Mrs Trellis, that isthe solution to more than one tricky position in the second quadrant. But since Hardinge was once a member if the Socialist Party, his games have been unanalysed for some decades.
[Projoy] Not lists of trains.
[Bismarck] Aficionados spot trains, I suppose, and the content of their leisure activity is trains, the spotting of.
Painting graffiti on trains?
A Mr R.S. of Westminster writes: "Dear elector, the past three years have been one of growing prosperity for the UK. Crime has dropped, business confidence has grown, and we are now sending refugees to Rwanda. Surely it stands to reason that you want this to continue?" We reply:to Mr R.S. that it's not quite as obvious as all that!
[Raak] Not graffiti. But you're right to say that the content of their activity is spotting trains. We're just looking for the right way of putting it. Hint - film name.
Does "train" occur in the answer (including as part of a longer word)?
Trainspotting?
I used to do it. Paddington, platform 8.
It's 8:05, which means it's time for a timecheck. It's 8:05 and 8:06 is forecasted to occur within forty seconds. Let's wait and see how that turns out, hey?
[Raak] Yes. Genteel applause.
[Rosie] Hi, Rosie, nice to see you back in the game. Please look a page or so above for the answer to your question.
Train fanning?
Train enthusiasts?
Train geeking?
Train buffs?
Train mavens?
[Raak] No, no, no, no, no.
How about looking at it from the train's point of view?
A train museum?
Train Livery?
Model trains?
Can trains be supermodels? I am trying not to picture a 4-4-2 Atlantic strutting down a catwalk
What a surprise, it's 8:06. Different day, same time, but you can't step in the same stream twice unless you run quickly. Now an interview with an elephant that has forgotten! In this case to turn up for the interview. Hello, Nelly, are you there? [Silence.]
I'm going to hand this over to VAR owing to the closeness of 'trainspotting' before, if someone doesn't get this soon.
[Raak] No, we had that one.
[Chalky] No.
[Simons Mith] Not model trains.
Train drivers?
Is it to do with filming or photographing trains?
Or simulating them?
[Raak] Not really.
[Projoy] Yes, there is a link.
[Projoy] Not intentionally but by extension, possibly
A footplate video?
And that's it folks, this program is now closed owing to further notice.
[Rosie] Nope.
Anyway the entity known as Raak is declared the winner for getting "Trainspotting", whether or not it has a 'p' in it. The AO(T)C was "Closely Observed Trains", but the direction you were coming from, allied to how close "trainspotting" actually was, as well as the usual quantity of lines drawn and etceteras, means that VAR has forced my hand. Take this telescopic baton and go on to better things.
Ok, well then...
MINERAL with ABSTRACT and ANIMAL connections.
Does it begin with P?
No faffing.
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it unique?
Tis better to bounce than flounce.
[Tuj] The less misleading answer is no, not unique. (A pedant in the audience gets to his feet and begins, "Actually..." The chair cuts him off with, "We've read that Wikipedia article too, and yes, you have a point, but the answer stands.")
The fossil of a conodont tooth?
[Bismarck] Not that Wikipedia article.
(Addendum to previous) But on the other hand it is a definite specific thing.
Is it entirely metal?
A prosthetic device?
[Tuj] Entirely non-metal.
[Rosie] Not a prosthetic.
Is it a building?
[Chalky] Not a building.
Would it float?
The very original of it that the pedant above tried to bring up might indeed float. But the thing is otherwise not something that can float or sink.
I am also thinking that "yes" and "no" are both misleading answers to the uniqueness question.
Recap
So far we know that it doesn't begin with 'P', isn't metallic and not a building.
Does this represent an animal?
Is it made out of wood?
Is it smaller than a toaster?
And, if Bismarck is declaring this a double round: Are you regretting your selection yet?
[B] Yes! Partly, it does represent an animal.
[B] No! It is not made of wood.
[T] It could be smaller or larger than a toaster.
[T] Not yet. Maybe if we're still on this by Christmas.
Is it a heraldic device?
[SM] Not an heraldic device.
Is it associated with a particular nation?
[T] Yes, associated with a particular nation.
Is there more than one animal connected?
[SM] Just one animal.
The animal might be the Great Seal of the Pres of the US of A, maybe?
[RtG] Not the Great Seal.
Are there statues of it?
[T] No statues.
Does it make a sound?
[P] It does not make a sound.
Was it invented/first created in a particular known year?
[T] Yes, the original object was created in a known year.
Is the animal human?
[R] The animal is human.
Is it a flag or crest?
[T] Not a flag or a crest.
To get past the awkwardness of the uniqueness thing, I retroactively declare that we are looking for the unambiguously unique, physical, original object, which indeed in part represents a human, was created in a known year, etc. Clue: not many people have seen the original, and I can find no information about whether it even still exists.
Related to money?
[SM] Not related to money (except insofar as everything is).
Is the person famous?
Yes, they are somewhat famous. (Audience goes hmm.)
Was the original made within the last 200 years?
[SM] Yes, made in the last 200 years.
Is it an item of clothing?
The original Oscar?
[T] Not clothing.
[RtG] Not the Oscar.
But is it art?
[T] Is not everything art, rightly considered? No, not art, although much artifice went into making it.
Is this object medically aligned?
[SM] Not medical.
Is it a photograph?
[RtG] applause!! It is a photograph!
Is it the photograph of the Tiananmen Square protestor and tanks?
Hail Radox! I note that the aforementioned Wikipedia has a "List of photographs considered the most important", though I'd think we're a few weeks away from recourse to that.
[T] Not Tiananmen.
[all] Not on Wikipedia's "List of photographs considered the most important".
Does the Mineral part of the AOTC refer to the photograph itself, or is there something mineral in the photograph we should identify?
[S] The MINERAL refers to the photograph itself, although there are things in it that are also mineral.
Has it featured in memes?
[P] Having googled this, I think it’s fair to say that it has featured in memes.
I am sure it will be instantly recognisable to everyone here.
What springs to mind is either the photo of the Montparnasse train crash, although it doesn't have anybody on it, and the Conan Doyle 'fairies at the bottom of the garden' photo, but that has a whole person, not part of one, so I'm going to ask if the photo was taken before 1930?
[S] Not taken before 1930.
Hint:this thing is not for the purpose of being a record of anything.
Roentgen's first X-ray?
[RtG] Not Roentgen's first X-ray.
Taken this century?
I for one was in shocked silence at that last hint!
[T] Not taken this century.
Is it a photo made with normal light?
[B] Yes, made with normal light.
The "Napalm Girl"?
"Not a 'record' of anything" - is this a record sleeve?
[P] Not Miss Napalm 1972. Remember, this was not created to be a record of something.
[RtG] Not a record sleeve, or anything else to do with "records" in that sense.
A stamp?
[S] Not a stamp.
Is the profession of the human in the photo pertinent?
[SM] Their profession (if any) is not pertinent.
Hint: not even their identity is pertinent.
Was the human alive when the photo was taken?
[S] Alive when the photo was taken. Still is, in fact.
Is there a link to Mornington Crescent?
[B] No link to Mornington Crescent.
Any connect to a sport?
[B] No connection to any sport.
Is this an accidental capture of some kind?
[SM] Not accidental. Very deliberately composed.
Is the face of the human visible?
If not medical, how about scientific?
Very deliberately composed, but not art, and not a record of anything... Yet well-known and memeworthy. That combination's a stumper.
The first AI generated human face?
Doh, no, because human is alive. Forget that.
Is it a deepfake?
[P] Not a deepfake. (Made before this century, it wouldn't be.)
Is the photograph in/of an easily identifiable location?
[C] No identifiable location.
Sorry, I missed Boolbar and Simons:
[B] The person's face is visible. (Knowing murmurs from the audience.)
[SM] Not scientific (but approving murmurs from the audience).
[SM] Your summary is spot on.
Is it Test Card F, featuring Carole Hersee and Bubbles the Clown?
Fanfares! Streamers! Orgies in the aisles! It is indeed Test Card F. Have this chalkboard and stuffed clown to make your very own!
Oh, well, that's embarrassing. Okay. What I have here seems to be mostly MINERAL.
Liquid?
[P] Extremely not liquid.
Gas?
[b] Even less so, I'd say.
Hmm.. tricky. Solid?
[B] As a rock.
A rock?
Unique?
Wow! Congrats both to goldfinch and Raak on that last one
Terrestrial?
A unique terrestrial rock!
[T] v. kind
A valuable mineral?
[R] Its value, while arguably immense, is not primarily monetary in nature.
It is valued for being a site of natural beauty?
[R] It is indeed a site, and sight, of natural beauty.
In North America?
[T] Not in North America
A mountain?
[R] Mindful of pedantry, I’m inclined to say “in the mountain family”.
In England?
[P] No, not in England.
A meteorite crater?
Uluru, formerly known as Ayers Rock?
[B] No meteorites involved, no.
[R] Not Uluru.
Lord Hereford's Knob ?
The Earth?
[SM] It is not, but that's on me for not having any previous knowledge of a landform called Lord Hereford's Knob.
[b] It...certainly protrudes from it, but no, more localised than that.
Does it have a name?
[R] It has a name.
It is some other, er, prominence that has had a song written about it?
[SM] Not famously, if at all (I can’t find any prominent examples)
(That being said, there are nevertheless books, films and poems about it, or in which it features.)
In the British/Irish archipelago?
[P] Yes, in the British Isles
Is it higher than Scafell Pike?
[B] (checks tape measure) lower than Scafell Pike
In Wales?
[P] It's not in Wales.
Is it on a Scottish Island?
[B] It's not on a Scottish island.
Rockall?
[SM] While arguably all rock, it's not Rockall.
Is it in Scotland?
[R] Yes! It’s in Scotland.
The Trossachs ?
Arthur's Seat?
Salisbury Crags?
[blamelewis] Aye! It is indeed Arthur’s Seat. Take these bagpipes and a sturdy pair of hiking boots, and either play to the wind or chuck them off the top, I guess.
Huzzah! Oh gosh, I've got to do one now. Erm... Animal
Named Arthur?
Worth checking
An individual?
Begins with a Q?
Edible?
[Tuj] Not aware of any of them going by Arthur.
[Raak] Not an individual.
[Projoy] 25 more guesses.
[Simons] Possibly, but it's not a regular part of the human diet. Also lots of people would be quite cross.
Typically owned as a pet?
Have they got tails?
[Raak] No.
[Tuj] Yes.
Carnivorous?
A primate?
A rabbi?
[Bismarck] Not carnivorous
[Raak] Not a primate
[Simons] What do you call a rabbit without a tail? No in either case!
An endangered species?
[Raak] Yes!
Terrestrial?
A bird?
[goldfinch] Yes.
[Boolbar] Yes.
Good at sneezing?
Is it a native of the British Isles?
[Simons] Don't think so.
[Raak] No.
Kakapo?
Yes! The amazing, critically endangered Kakapo - well done!
Wow, whoops!
...and on we go! Can you figure out this ABSTRACT next please?
There are connections, strongest mineral, but they're probably safer not mentioned.
Electricity?
Alchemy?
The starter's gun is fired!
[SM] No!
[bl] No!
Death?
Dead as as a doornail. This is entirely mineral.
Does it begin with P?
Oh dear, a false start
I went off before the gun. What do I do, go back two questions?
The trackside officials gather to discuss Simons Mith's reaction time
[R] No!
[B] No! *mutters, booing, some of the audience leave*
A work of conceptual art?
Would this exist if there was no life in the universe?
[R] No! Well, not that I'm aware of - that's the trouble with conceptual art, in theory someone could have declared it to be so...
[B] No!
Would this exist without Christmas?
Would Christmas exist without this?
Yule have to fight the urge to log off, but...
[C] Yes!
[P] Yes!
Is it ephemeral or somehow time-bound?
[g] I'd say ephemeral Yes!, time-bound No!
This is certainly debatable, and indeed the audience are doing so amongst themselves.
A feeling?
Doomscrolling?
[R] No!
[SM] No!
The transit of Venus?
An act performed by humans?
A scientific concept?
[RTG] No!
[g] No! or, by a certain reading of that sentence, Yes! *the audience mutter amongst themselves about different meanings of the word 'act'*
[R] No!
irony?
That's an abstract with metal connections...
Sex?
I can see a mineral connection when it comes to a sticky end.
Is there a particular person associated with the invention/popularisation of this thing?
[SM] No!
[bl] No!
[P] person - No! (But people - Yes!)
Acting?
Is an assembly of people together a necessary element of this thing?
[B] No!
[R] I think No! is the clearest answer here, though there's certainly an interpretation of that question which could yield a Yes!.*the audience, clearly a pleasantly diverse group of thinkers, politely interlocute about the meanings the words "assembly" and "together" can have*
A religion?
Or something connected with religion?
A musical performance?
[C] No!
[P] No!
[SM] No!
Did this thing exist before 1950?
Is it astronomical?
[R] No!
[RTG] No!
Does it exist?
Does it generally require an internet connection?
Social media?
The audience cease conversation and offer applause and vocal encouragement
[P] No! Does not physically exist.
[g] Yes! This would have no existence of any sort without the internet.
[RTG] No!
Cancel culture?
A tweet?
No, not social media... A blog?
An NFT?
Broadband?
[g] No!
[Px2] No!
[Ra] No!
[Ro] No!
Anything to do with marketing?
The great game itself?
Scared to name it in case I end it...
[B] No!
[bl] No! but... *the audience gasp and a couple even clap*
I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue??
Since this needs the Internet, could it be a site on which games are played?
[bl] No!
[B] No! but *more scattered applause*
Is it a particular game?
This game of AVMA?
[R] No!
[P] No! but *the audience are making all sorts of appreciative noises*
A game based on ISIHAC?
Wit?
The Morniverse?
The previous crescendo has lessened
[Ro] No!
[Ra] No!
[P] No!
Has it greatly declined from its former glory?
Online chess?
Geocities?
It's all gone rather quiet
[Ra] No!
[Ro] No!
[SM] No!
Is it that thing some people do when they broadcast themselves playing games online?
A speedrun?
10 questions ago you were warm, getting warmer, now it's cold, freezing cold
[S] No!
[R] No!
Hint: just because "The Morniverse" itself wasn't the answer, doesn't mean the AOTC doesn't come from this corner of the internet.
Is it a player's name?
MC5?
[P] No!
[C] No!
Some sort of archive?
"The answer to this clue in AVMA"
The old York Duck Hunt?
All the answers so far in this game that began with the letter P?
Is that... the finish line?
[R] No!
[P1] No! *a large proportion of the audience goes ooh!*
[SM] No! Either I've forgotten it, or that's before my time...
[P2] No! *a smaller number of oohs from the audience, but also some eye-rolling ;)*
The AOTC?
Lord Byron's bicycle?
"Something that is NOT the answer to the current clue in AVMA"?
[C] No! *a few audience members over-excitedly swoon*
[SM] No!
[P] No! So the answer would be... "not the answer"? I think what I've set is much more straightforward than that, but time will tell :D
The previous answer in this game?
The first answer in this game?
The fever pitch is fractionally less febrile
[R] No!
[P] No!
One of the questions asked during a game of AVMA?
Something specifically related to AVMA?
[P] No!
[R] Yes!
Is it the abstract category of 'Mineral'?
The Laser Display Board?
This round of AVMA?
The audience remain poised on their seat-edges
[SM] No!
[RTG] No!
[P] No!
Just passing through on my way to save something or other, and understanding the absolute necessity of the internet to satisfy this question, how about the list of all words used in this game as AOTCs?
Can the answer be seen above (if loading all moves)?
The baton?
The tape is breasted!
[S] No!
[P] Yes! Because...
[SM] YES!
*balloons and streamers shower down from the ceiling onto the audience as Simons is handed the very AOTC that's been being hunted, in one of its many (but typically mineral) forms*
All right, let's do a VEGETABLE then. Haven't done a veggie in a while.
Wooden?
Wooden? Yes. Immediate applause.
A spoon?
Bigger than a spoon?
Spoon? No. I've done utensils before.
Bigger? Yes.
Bigger than Jupiter?
Jupiter? No. Not that big.
Unique?
Ah drat, too slow to guess a carrot baton
A bush?
Smaller than a pig?
[Unique] Yes.
[Bushy] No.
[Oink?] No.
A whole tree?
Living?
A man-made object?
[whole?] No.
[living] Yes.
[man-made] No.
A Christmas tree?
In the UK?
In Australasia?
[tree?] No
[UK?] Yes
[Auz*] No
The Major Oak?
It's wooden, alive, quite large, not a Christmas tree, in the UK, nor a bush.
A fruit tree?
The remaining stump from the vandalised tree on Hadrian’s Wall?
(Is it still alive? I’ll defer to the arborists.)
[Major] No, but there's an ooo from the audience.
[fruity] No.
[stumpy] No.
Is it unusually old?
Is the tree not whole because of human intervention?
Forgot that it wasn't a whole tree...
Son of Royal Oak?
[old] Yes.
[intervention] No. Mutters from the audience over misleading answering, but the answer certainly isn't Yes.
[descendant] No.
Is its exact location a secret?
In England?
The blasted oak on the withered heath where the hags dance?
[Secret] No
[English] Yes
[Dance venue] No
Does it have an individual name?
Is it a tree?
[Individual name?] In the context I think you're asking, no.
[A tree] No.
In London?!
Is it outdoors?
[London] No.
[Outdoors] Yes.
Is it many trees?
[A f- many trees] Yes! Audience applause
I would love this to be the National Forest, which was on those brown signs as you went up the A38 north of Birmingham and could be seen as miles and miles of hedges and fields. But given the reaction to my Major Oak bid just before, I'll go for Sherwood Forest.
A winner
[Sherwood Forest] You divined the ooos correctly. It's Sherwood Forest.
Winner's comments
This was of course impossible without the help of some merry Morningtonians whom I would like to thank, and some unfeasibly good archery. So I accept this baton in the shape of an arrow and let us go on to what may be a quick round before Christmas. This one is:

MINERAL.

Is it Christmas-related?
Is it found on planet Earth?
Was it, until recently, not on planet Earth?
[T] Not Christmas-related.
[B] Yes, earthly.
[R] This has never left earth.
Is it unique OR does it begin with P?
Does it begin with P OR is it unique?
Delete as applicable
[C, T] No.
Man=made?
That is, man-made?
Is it smaller than a toaster OR is it bigger than a telephone box?
Has it existed for more than 100 years?
Is it typically powered by electricity?
Does its name end in 'ite'?
That'll eliminate a lot.
[R] Yes, man-made.
[C] Depends which dimensions you are talking about, both are true, and both false. Which Boolean operator that is, I don't know.
[T] It's electrically powered.
[S] Audience murmurs as the board displays "No".
Does its name rhyme with 'ite', or 'ites'?
[S] Applause as it is revealed that one of the words on the card does indeed rhyme with "ite" or "ites".
I have been informed that the Boolean operator referred to above is the UM operator, where any input can give any output.
Christmas lights?
My cat liked 'em.
[R] Not Christmas lights.
Can I buy it in a big Tesco?
Some sort of light or lights?
[G] No, not found in Tesco.
[R] Applause from the audience. Yes.
(signal-boosting Boolbar) Has it existed for more than 100 years?
[R'n'B] Missed that, the answer is Yes, accompanied by scattered applause.
Street lights?
[R] Much applause, though the answer is No.
Traffic lights?
Showing various colours?
[G] Yes! Audience goes wild for goldfinch.
[R] Also yes, but now no longer relevant.
So, goldfinch, take this multicoloured bayon, and, obeying the filter signals, turn right to greater things!
Oh heck, just what I wanted for Christmas. And what’s this? *rustling of wrapping paper* oh! It’s MINERAL
First things first, is it actually feasible to wrap?
[SM] Very much depends, but suffice to say that kind of undertaking would require significantly more than paper and sticky tape.
Is it an astronomical object?
[B] No
Is it radioactive?
A geographical feature?
[Rosie] *very appreciative crowd* Yes
[Raak] in that you’d put it on a map, yes
Sellafield, formerly Windscale?
The natural nuclear reactor discovered in Oklo?
[R/R] *hubbub dies down* No and no.
Is it underground?
[R] Not underground
Is it an element?
[B] No, it isn’t an element.
A hospital?
[R] Not a hospital
Is it a 'station' of some kind?
[SM] If it was then it isn’t anymore
Unique?
[CdM] By far the less deceptive answer is yes
Is it below the Earth's crust?
[T] Above the Earth's crust. Unless viewed from its antipodal point, of course, but let's not worry about that kind of pedantry.
Is it outside the UK?
[SM] Yes! Not in the UK.
Also, was probably a bit hedged with the station question. It was (part of) a ‘station’ of some kind.
Is it in Antarctica?
[R] It’s not in Antarctica.
Chernobyl?
Is it numbered?
[R/SM] yes to both! So…
Is it reactor no.4 at Chernobyl?
[SM] Indeed it is. So let’s carefully wrap that back up, with hope for a happy new year.
Ooh what's this? Such a fascinating ANIMAL.
Double points for getting it in Latin. Credit to Anna for the great idea.
A land animal?
Not a land animal.
Extinct?
Carduelis carduelis?
Does it begin with a proboscis?
[G] No
[T] No
[P] I don't think so.
Is the Latin a tautonym?
A creature of the waters?
[B]No.
[R]Yes.
A whale?
No, but getting warmer.
Anguilla anguilla?
Carcharodon carcharias?
Tursiops truncatus?
Banjos banjos banjos?
Which I think ought to be written "Banjos! Banjos! Banjos!"
[a.a.] No
[c.c.] No
[t.t.] No
[b.b.b.] No
You need to go deeper
A shark? (i.e. Sharcus sharcus)
Banjos! Banjos! Banjos! Banjos! ?
Bass?
A blobfish?
[Sharks, banjos, bass and blobfish] All no, I'm afraid.
Is this a vertebrate?
[vertebrate] No. audience applause
Does it have a central nervous system?
[nerves] Yes.
Is it sessile?
[sessility] No, it's free-ranging
A cnidarian?
Not cnidarian
Is it theoretically immortal?
Is it a squid?
[immortal?] No.
[Squid] Yes! Some of nature's fascinatingest animals, and this is a fascinating squid
Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni?
[Colossal Squid] No, but obviously homing in nicely.
Lepidoteuthis grimaldi?
No. There's about 300 species of squid, so only another 298 to go!
A cuttlefish?
No, definitely a squid.
Does it begin with P?
I failed to see what could possibly be more fascinating than the Grimaldi scaled squid, named after Prince Albert of Monaco, who was a fan and of whom it formed much of the after-dinner conversation. Lettuce carry on. Is it benthic?
[Psquid] No.
[Benthic] Yes, as a broad category
Fascinatingness vs Lepidoteuthis grimaldi - in deference to Prince Albert of Monaco I'll accept a draw
Humboldt squid?
[Humboldt] No. Humboldts seem to be reasonably ordinary, by squid standards.
I'm solid on narwhal, but squids are a bit of a blank with me. The kraken?
[kraken up] No.
The colossal squid?
[colossal] No, we had that already. Albeit in Latin
Is it that sick squid I owe you?
Terry Pratchett's "curious squid"?
Spirula spirula?
[Chalky, RtG, R] No, it's a real-world actual squid
If this is now a squid game, we risk our lives. Bathyteuthis abyssicola?
A species as opposed to a specimen?
[Bathyteuthis abyssicola] No. Neither warm nor cold, that guess.
[A species] Yes!
The striped pyjama squid?
[s.p.s.] No, but what a dapper animal.
I just learned of the existencd of the Antarctic neosquid, no doubt after having ingested a red pill. Is that it?
[Antarctic neosquid] No. That's sort of the opposite of the one I'm after
Opposite to the icy Antarctic, you say. Could it be Vampyroteuthis infernalis, the vampire squid from hell?
[Vampyroteuthis infernalis] Good guess, but you picked the wrong opposite. There are several possibilities.
Also, vampyroteuthis is not a squid. According to Monterey Aquarium, at least.
Tusoteuthis?
The purpleback flying squid (Sthenoteuthis oualaniensis)?
Flying squid. Two words that seem to go together as well as "bunch" and "water".
Found in Monterey Aquarium?
[Tusoteuthis] No. [Flying] No. [Monterey] No.
Squids aren't my forte, but it seems clear that those who name them lack nothing in creativity!
Gonatus fabricii? (Not to be confused with the late Timbergling avicii.)
[Bismarck] Agreed, but I think equal credit ought to go to the squids themselves.
[Gonatus fabricii] No
Australiteuthis aldrichi?
Wait, we’ve had the colossal squid, but have we had the giant squid – Architeuthis dux?
(autocorrect suggested “colossal squirrel”, and I shall lose some sleep over that mental image.)
[a.aldrichi] No. It's so teeny tiny!
[giant squid] No, but getting warmer, I think.
Giant Aquatic Squirrel?
[aquatic squirrels of unusual size] I don't believe they exist
Is it over one metre in size?
[>1m] Oh yes.
The internationally-flavoured Dana octopus squid, Taningia danae? Bioluminescent photophores fitted as standard.
[Taningia danae] No. Wow, but no.
How about this fella?

(the one on the right.)
[photographic evidence] Nu-uh
Is it of the family Cranchiidae?
[Cranch family] No.
Does the genus end in "-teuthis"?
[teuthises] Nope. audience applauds encouragingly
Is it a species of glass squid?
[glass squid] No, they're Cranchiidae
Oops. Okay well while I'm here, are they found in the Pacific Ocean?
[Pacific] Yes!
I am learning so much about squid. I hope some of it sticks with me.
That's great but now I've forgotten what I was getting at with that question.
Family Ommastrephidae?
[Ommastrephidae] No, not ommastrephidae
Is it a glass squid?
Bzzt! Repetition!
What about the frankly terrifying Magnapinnidae family?
[Magnapinnidae] Yep. That's the bunny
A winner?
I reckon you should give that to goldfinch. All the Magnapinnidae unknown from specimens which are well under a meter long, under the famous photograph doesn't doesn't have a species name attached to it yet.
Actually yes, I think that would be fair. On Wikipedia, I've just found that 'Magnapinnidae' jumps directly to the particular species in question.
So I shall hereby pass on this very, very long, writhing, sucker-covered, er, baton.
Is it a goldfinch?
No but it’s just as ABSTRACT.
As abstract as a goldfinch? Hm. Does it have a known unladen airspeed velocity?
Does it begin with P?
[velocity] no it’s more abstract than that
[p] no
Relativity?
Was it known to Plato?
A giant aquatic squirrel?
[relativity] but less abstract than that
[plato] no
[giant aquatic squirrel] surely an animal?
An emotion?
[emotion] no (slightest ripple of interest)
Is it astronomical?
[astronomical] no
Morniverse-related?
[morniverse] no, but there was another tiny ripple there
Guesswork?
[guesswork] meta but no
Is it a riddle?
[riddle] no.
I’ll add that it is a thing that exists and has properties, rather than a concept. It has ANIMAL/MINERAL connections but is neither.
The odour of animal faeces?
Putting it politely
[dungsmell] a fair guess but no.

Half a step in the right direction though.

A sensation?
[sensation] of sorts
FEEEELINNGGS, WHOA WHOA WHOA FEEEELLLINNGGS ?
[FEEEELINNGS] the song? or the concept of feeling?
[Resists switching to Boney M, but its a struggle]
As in, emotions.
Sorry, rather than, a specific emotion, which I had already
[feelings at large] nope
Is one of the senses involved?
[senses] yes
Is there more than one word on the card?
Fashion?
[more than one word] yes
[fashion] no
Was it invented/first created in a particular known year?
[known year] yes
The Hallelujah Chorus (1741)?
[messiah] no, but a step in the right direction
Is it a piece of music?
[music] it isn’t music
Is it dance?
[dance] no, getting colder
Is this specific date before 1900?
[<1900] no
Related to the movie/TV industry?
[movie/TV industry] yes!
A particular production of said industry?
[production] no, product, yes
A TV series?
[series] no, getting colder
A genre of movie?
Technicolor?
[genre] no!
[technicolor] no!
The name of a particular camera technique?
[camera technique] no, no cameras involved
Is it in a particular language?
[language] it is in no particular language
The Wilhelm scream?
Is it related to figurative art?
[Wilhelm scream] Yes! It is the Wilhelm scream! (crowd goes wild in a way I’m reasonably sure isn’t a stock sound effect.)
Whoops
Aaaaaaaaggghhhhh!
Let's go ANIMAL
Okay well let’s just check it’s not the crocodile which prompted the aforementioned scream?
Human?
i.e. not Liz Truss
Crocodile? No.
Human? YES!
President Polk? Peter Parker? Prince Philip?
Philip Pullman? Pablo Picasso? Priscilla Presley?
Pele?
:P
PPx3? No.
PPx3? No.
P? No.
Ptolemy? Psychology? Psittacosis? Pterodactyl?
Is it a thing that doesn't begin with P ?
More to the point, is it a human that doesn’t begin with P?
Oh no, the pile-on was quite apt
Px4? No.
Not P? No.
Non-P person? No.
Is it a human typically referred to by two names, neither one of which doesn’t begin with P?
Is or was this person a president?
Is it more than one human?
P.P.? No.
Pres? No.
People? No.
Is the AOTC a person's name?
Is the AOTC “A person”?
No need to get so semantic
Named person? YES!
"A person"? Not those words, no.
Currently newsworthy?
Royalty?
Was this person known for picking pecks of pickled peppers?
Current? No (to my knowledge, of course)
Crowned? No (of any close descent)
Capsica? No (do I need to caveat this "to my knowledge"?!)
Currently alive?
A scientist?
Alive? No.
Scientist? No. *a couple of audience members make noises*
Fictional?
A literary figure?
Ptolemy?
Psmith?
Fictional? No.
Literary? YES! (As in, wrote some stuff)
Ptolemy? No.
Psmith? No.
Political?
P G Wodehouse?
Goethe?
Political? YES! (But not, AFAIK, a politician)
PGW? No.
JWG? No.
British?
Does this person’s last name begin with P?
Plato?
Wrote something before 1900?
Plato? YES!!
CdM has it! And what he now has is possession of the Platonic ideal of a baton.
Those early shots in the dark really looked like they might hit.
*emerges, blinking, into the light*
ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.
Does it end with a p?
The universe?
The probability of the Conservatives winning the next election?
Does it begin with C?
Cup, cap, crap, claptrap, clamp, chomp, crisp? No, at both extremities.
Universe? No.
Five more years? No.
Created by humans?
Is it an -ism?
A work of fiction?
Human creation? Yes.
-ism? Yes. *applause*
Work of fiction? No. *scattered laughter*
A social phenomenon?
Was it invented/coined in the last 50 years?
Social phenomenon? No.
Since 3/3/1974? No.
An artistic or literary movement?
Art/lit? No.
Anarcho-syndicalism?
I'd regret if we didn't ask
A work of writing?
A recipe?
Channeling the ghost of INJ
Anarcho-syndicalism? No.
A work of writing? No.
Recipe? No.

A clarification: I believe my "yes" answer to "Created by humans?" is the least misleading but I suppose proponents of this -ism might dispute my answer.
To do with religion?
Religious? Interesting question. I’m going to go with: No—but it is potentially religion-adjacent, for a broad definition of religion.
Is it named after a person?
Is it btheism?
Nominative? No.
Btheism? No.
Idealism?
We just had Plato, so it's worth a guess
Does it begin with anti-?
Something spiritual?
A crackpot theory, according to a majority?
Idealism? No.
Anti-? No.
Spiritual? Another interesting question. The best answer is No, though I'd caution that "spiritual" admits of multiple definitions. The AOTC is spiritual-adjacent, however
Crackpot? If you presented the AOTC to random people on the street, most would agree with that descriptor. If you asked those with more specialised knowledge, some would certainly still agree; the majority would disagree with the AOTC without (I think) necessarily being so pejorative. I hope that helps. :)
Veganism?
Artificial Intelligence?
I'd have loved this to be Dianetics, but it doesn't end in ISM. Is it anything to do with geography or geology?
Is it related to art?
Veganism? No.
AI? No. (*a few glances exchanged in the audience, but no actual applause*)
Dianetics? No.
Geography? No.
Geology? In some sense maybe Yes, but that's unlikely to be helpful.
Related to Art? No.
Does astronomy come in to it?
Creationism?
Astronomical? No.
Creationism? No.
Is it the name of a (supposed) being?
Overhead, without any fuss
One of the nine billion names of god? No.
Recap
We know that this is an ISM and refers to to something that was invented by humans, and that's about as far as we've got.
We do know that it doesn't begin or end with p, c, or anti. It has nothing to do with geography, geology, art, literature, or astronomy. It's not veganism, idealism, creationism, or dianetics, nor is it named after a person. There is a possible tenuous link to religion/spirituality, although all the guesses so far have not led anywhere. Normal people will think that the AOTC is crazy, those with more specialised knowledge will think that it doesn't work, although it still has its supporters.
To do with economics?
Aliens?
Does it contain the name of a being, e.g. Marxism?
Politics?
Recap. Mostly correct, although you only know that it doesn’t begin with C or end with P. I struggled with my answer to “invented by humans?”, so I’ll attempt a clarification. If we think of, say, a continuum of isms from Marxism (clearly invented by humans) to magnetism (clearly not), I think this is a bit closer to Marxism. But it is something that humans have thought of that could conceivably be fact—and if it were fact, it would be more like magnetism.
Economics? No.
Aliens? No.
Contain the name of a being? No. (Well, technically yes, but that’s essentially coincidental).
Politics? No.
Hypnotism?
Hypnotism? No. On the Marx-Magnet scale, the AOTC is to the right of hypnotism.
One more clarification. B’s recap stated “those with more specialised knowledge will think that [the AOTC] doesn’t work”. I’d say,rather, that they’d think it isn’t true.
Is it adhered to by less than 20% of people globally?
Governmental?
Is it associated with a particular group of people?
...who'd be identifiable beyond just being "AOTC-ists", that is
1.6 billion? I think that the adjacent spiritual/religious concept quite probably has more than that number of adherents. The AOTC is a more technical notion (and term), which would be unfamiliar to (most of?) those adherents. I think. The adjacent spiritual/religion-adjacent concept might be a helpful route to the answer.
Governmental? No.
Associated with a particular group? For the AOTC itself, I'd say No. But the adjacent spiritual/religion-adjacent concept is certainly associated with various identified groups.
Spiritualism?
Presumably not, since you wouldn't have described it as spiritual...
Dowsing?
Spiritualism? No.
Dowsing? No.
Has it anything to do with the human body?
Corporeal? The best and least misleading answer is No. (There is a pedantic sense in which the answer is Yes, because “anything to do with” is pretty broad and vague.)
Solipsism?
Solipsism? No—but the audience awakes from its torpor and there is *some applause, mixed with a little laughter* .
-ism scale
On my Marx-Magnet scale©, I'd probably put the various isms that have been suggested in the following order, with Idealism/Solipsism/AOTC being fairly close to each other. All three are invented by humans but could in some sense be fact.

Marxism ... Veganism ... Hypnotism ... Spiritualism ... Creationism/Btheism ... Idealism/Solipsism/AOTC ... ... Magnetism
Is it an idea about the nature of the entire universe?
Is this to do with logic?
Does it relate to death or matters after?
Idea about the nature of the entire universe? Yes! *sustained applause*
To do with logic? No.
Relate to death? The best answer is No, though an indirect argument could be made for Yes.
Would this be taught in university philosophy courses?
Plato's cave?
Has anyone said Existentialism yet?
Does it entail a belief in predestination?
University Philosophy? I'm not an expert in university philosophy curricula, but I'll speculate as follows: the AOTC would show up somewhere in the curriculum but is unlikely to make an appearance in an Introduction to Philosophy subject. The AOTC has an entry in the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, and Britannica.
Plato's cave? No.
Has anyone said Existentialism yet? No.
Is Existentialism the AOTC? No. (I'd put that more in the vicinity of Spiritualism on the M-m scale.)
Does it entail a belief in predestination? You just had to ask that, didn't you? No.
You're enjoying this aren't you CdM ;^)
Does an old Greek come into this as a major proponent of the AOTC?
The simulation hypothesis?
Enjoying this? Yes and No. Whenever an AVMA takes this long, I worry that either I have made it too hard or that I have inadvertently misled people with a less than perfect answer.
Old Greek? The idea of the AOTC can in some sense be traced back to the very earliest days of recorded philosophy, which of course includes quite a few old Greeks. That said, I don't think the AOTC is associated with a particular OG who was a "major proponent". (It's not like, say, stoicism, where—if you know about the topic—you'd immediately link it to Epictetus.)
Simulation hypothesis? No.
Vitalism?
Deism?
Vitalism? No.*applause of the kind that indicates that even though the answer is in some sense completely wrong, it is also absolutely the right kind of guess*
Hidden textRemember that the audience have been watching this game for decades and have absolutely figured out the nuances of applause.

Deism? No.
Metempsychosis?
O, rocks! she said. Tell us in plain words.
Metempsychosis? No.
Clarification: While "vitalism" (at least as I understand it) is indeed in some sense completely wrong, it is nonetheless oddly close to the AOTC. Raak is definitely thinking along the right lines. Also, the "O, rocks!" quote is not a clue of any kind.
Life, the universe, and everything?
Life, the Universe, and Everything? No. But the AOTC is definitely related to LtUaE. :)
Human exceptionalism?
Buddhism ?
Human exceptionalism? No. *audience laughter*
Buddhism? No. The AOTC, as already noted, is not religious but is a concept that is spiritual/religion-adjacent. The adjacent spiritual/religious idea is present in Buddhism.
Emptiness?
Emptiness? No.
Reincarnationism?
(I always thought vitalism was a sort of margarine)
Reincarnationism? I always thought that was a sort of milk. No.
Does it involve the concept of an immortal soul?
Immortal soul? No.
Panpsychism?
Panpsychism? Yes!! It is indeed the belief that there is (some sort of) consciousness present in everything. Here, have this sentient baton.
Ooohh goody!
That was not an easy one to find! I only got it because of the subject being recently treated on the "In Our Time" podcast. So thanks to Melvyn Bragg and his guests.
The next round is now starting, hold on to the straps. The sentient baton suggests ABSTRACT.
Small print
There are links to Animal and Vegetable, and on the Marx-Magnet scale© CdM it's towards magnetism, although it isn't an -ISM.
Does it begin with P?
P-precedent? No, but don't let that put you off.
Fictional?
Made up? Not fictional.
Something in fundamental physics?
A human interest?
Present only on Earth?
Fun physics? No.
Fun life? No, although humans have and have had a great interest in the AOTC. It's not an occupation, either.
Earthbound? So far as anyone knows, only on Earth.
Life?
Is the AOTC a single word?
Life? Certainly connected, the audience applauds vigorously.
Single word? Also yes.
Death?
Is it an -ology?
Death ? Like life, it is necessary for this concept. Audience are aware and expectant.
Ologious? No.
Procreation?
Procreation? No. Audience still bate their breath.
Sex?
Drugs? Rocknroll?
What my body needs? No to all three. Audience quiescent.
Evolution?
Evolution? No.
To do with food?
Food? No. Audience lethargic.
Were humans aware of this prior to 1900?
Pre-Edwardian? Yes.
An observable phenomenon?
Economic?
Was Aristotle aware of this?
Observable? There are observations of this occurring.
Economic? No.
Aristotelian? Didn't know him personally, but the concept was almost certainly around then.
To do with health/sickness/medicine?
NHS? In a way, yes, but only in a way. Some audience approval.
A feeling or mood?
Lifespan?
Sentiments? No.
Lifespan? No. Audience wakes up, though.
Lifestart? No, but the audience murmurs approval and emits some applause.
A biological process?
Rebirth?
Biology? Arguments start among the audience. Life and death and so forth are all biological, but this is not usually considered to be a biological process.
Rebirth? No, but the audience really like it. Appreciation is shown.
Birthdays?
Birthdays? No. Audience calm.
Reincarnation?
Reincarnation? No, but big applause and cheering from the crowd.
Karma?
Nirvana?
Getting bad things? No.
Getting good things? No.
Adoption?
Eternal recurrence?
Emergence as something different from human? (whatever that's called).
Near-death experience?
Adoption? No.
Eternal recurrence? No.
Alien hatching? No.
Near-death experience? No.
Transmogrification?
Transmogrification? No, but there is some debate in the audience.
Metamorphosis?
Enlightenment?
The Renaissance?
In hindsight I suspect we were a bit slow on the uptake
It's not metamorphosis, enlightenment is nice but completely off beam, "renaissance" is a good try but "the Renaissance" is totally wrong. The audience are collecting tomatoes to throw.
Resurrection?
Cryonics?
Rejuvenation?
Not cryonics, not rejuvenation, but definitely Resurrection! (We started this around Easter, so it seemed appropriate.) Congratulations to CdM, who gets to take this stone baton and roll it away. Don't forget to like, subscribe, or leave a review.
Hidden textI do feel a more honest answer to _Fictional?_ would have been: _Opinions vary_ :)


Here is a straightforward VEGETABLE with an ANIMAL connection.
An Easter egg?
(Chocolate is a vegetable, right?)
Easter egg? No.
A misshapen potato that looks like someone's head?
Potato head? No. *considerable laughter and significant applause*
Chips (without fish)?
Chips? No.
Is it a plant that looks like an animal?
Is it unique?
Plant that looks like an animal? No. But again, *applause*
Unique? Yes.
A wooden scupture?
*sculpture
Part of a plant that looks like part of an animal?
Venus Flytrap?
Wooden sculpture? No. No.
Part of a plant that looks like part of an animal? No.
Venus flytrap? No.
In a fixed location?
Fixed location? Interesting question. If I wanted to be tricky, I'd give a straightforward and honest answer of No. But a more helpful answer is: Yes, when understood in the context of the AOTC.
It is vegetable but does it resemble something that is not?
Vegetable that resembles non-vegetable? Resemble is a tricky word. I’d say more No than Yes as the word is typically used, but—stretching the meaning of resemble to its broader senses—you could plausibly say Yes.

As a ps to my answer to Tuj, the absence of a fixed location in general is certainly useful information as well.
Is it a mask?
Mask? No.
Is the AOTC one word?
One word? No. The AOTC as written is four words including the definite article, but I will accept any suitable identifying phrase.
Is it alive?
Is it associated with a particular season?
Is it legible?
Is it alive? No. But be careful about your assumptions.
Associated with a particular season? No. * a certain tension in the air intimates that the audience almost wants to applaud but knows it shouldn’t*
Legible? No.
Does it exist today?
Does it exist today? No.
Is it fictional?
Fictional? No.
Is there more than one at any one time?
>1? No. (You already know it is unique.)
Is it connected to a celebration?
Would an archaeologist know about this in connection with their profession?
Is the vegetable part edible?
But was it art?
Connected to a celebration? *considerable audience laughter*. I think I have to say No, though some might argue the point.
Relevant to archaeology? No.
Vegetable part edible? Yes. (And remember the whole thing is vegetable, not just part of it.)
Was it art? *more laughter* Not in the conventional sense, No.

After your good start I am surprised this is taking so long. As a hint, you could always explore the animal connection further.
Is this found in à restaurant?
Did this exist at some point since 1900?
Quorn?
Found à restaurant? No.
Hidden text [Should be au - Ed.]

Since 1900? Yes.
Quorn? No.
Does the AOTC include a superlative?
Superlative-inclusive? No. *loud and sustained laughter*
Was it eaten by somebody famous?
Celebrity-consumed? No. (At least not as far as I know!)
Is the animal reference human?
Does the AOTC have the form "The X of Y"?
Human animal? Yes.
The X of Y? No.
A vegetarian meat substitute?
Fake ewes? No. Though, in some kinda sorta weirdly literal sense, kinda sorta yes. But really, No.
Is the animal reference a particular human?
Is 'the' the 2nd word?
Particular human? Yes.
The the second? No.
Is it a flower named after someone?
Flower named after someone? No.
If it wasn't for "the" in third place, I'd have said the King Edward potato. Is it named after a person?
Is one of the words 'of'?
Named after a person? Strictly speaking, No. But Yes would actually be a more helpful answer.
“The” is not in third place. I said it wasn’t “The X of Y”. For free, I’ll tell you “The King Edward potato” exactly corresponds to the AOTC, though I’ll mention again that other descriptions would be perfectly acceptable.
The King Edward potato? No. I’ll also remind you that the AOTC is unique
“of”-inclusive? No.
Sorry—I meant the form of the expression. “The KE potato” matches the form of the AOTC.
Is the vegetable a vegetable (culinarily speaking)?
The Liz Truss lettuce?
Vegetable = vegetable? Yes.
The Liz Truss lettuce? Yes! Have this unconventionally shaped baton. It’s slightly brown on the edges, but still perfectly usable.
Thank you, though this baton is somewhat rotten on the inside. No similarity to any person, living or half-dead, is to be inferred. So let's relaunch with MINERAL with some VEGETABLE connotations.
An onion dome?
Is it made of metal?
Not an onion dome.
Yes, it is made of metal.
A mechanical device?
Is it unique?
Is it art?
Is it a building?
It is a mechanical device.
It is unique.
It has a certain charm, but it is not classed as Art.
It is not a building, though it was built.
Is its purpose entertainment?
Is it located in the United Kingdom?
Built for transportation purposes?
Regarded as old-fashioned?
Is it a train?
Its purpose is not entertainment.
It is located in the UK.
It was built for transportation purposes.
I'm not sure if it's regarded as old-fashioned.
It's not a train.
Is it a bridge?
A road?
It is a bridge.
It is an A-road.
The Iron Bridge at Coalbrookdale?
Is it in London?
It is not the Iron Bridge in Coalbrookdale.
It is not in London.
Does it cross the river Forth?
Is it on the A5?
Does the bridge’s name supply the vegetable connotation?
The Prince of Wales (M4) Bridge?
The Menai Bridge (projected to be kept from rust by boiling it in wine)
It does not cross the river Forth.
It is not on the A5.
The name does supply a vegetable connotation. But it's such a punnish and abstruse one, that to be honest I can't recommend this line of investigation.
It is not the Prince of Wales' bridge on the M4.
It is not the Menai bridge.
If you don't want a hint, read no further.
Hidden textRemember that this is a mechanical device.
Does it reconfigure such that sometimes it may be crossed and sometimes not?
Is it a suspension bridge?
It is not a suspension bridge. Reconfiguration has me stumped. I think the best answer is No, but only because the standard functioning configuration defines its usage under all circumstances. But Yes might also be possible.
The Tees Transporter Bridge?
Winner
Right answer! A nice piece of engineering not far from me. Also an example of "The A-Road, Interrupted". Sadly it's out of service at the moment and could well never get back into operation.
So congrats to Tuj, to whom the baton is being delivered via a gondola.
My frustration at never having heard of the Tees Transporter Bridge is amply compensated by having now heard of the Tees Transporter Bridge.
[Raak] I love that feeling. I wonder if anyone's ever coined a name for it?
Anyway, it's ABSTRACT time.
Is it the feeling of never having heard of the Tees Transporter Bridge then being amply compensated by having now heard of the Tees Transporter Bridge?
Just a stab in the dark...
Is it linked to an astronomical object outside our planet?
Hidden textRaak - I don't know the name of that feeling. But surely it is the one on which Trivial Pursuit is based.
Now, I know I might frustrate...
[SM] NO. If I'd set that and there wasn't a guess straight away, that could have taken years!
[RTG] NO. Although, to be strictly honest, YES it can be linked.
Hidden textThat feeling seems to me like something that might have been named by Liff, but it's possible my thoughts are being influenced by my main source of the feeling being my job QCing British geographic data!
Does it involve the sense of vision?
Is it a human construct that either does or does not begin with P?
...so fiddly...
[R] NO. Well, no more than your average abstract does. Or maybe slightly more. I need to ask a blind person!
[CdM] NO. I *think* this one is inarguable!
Is it an -ology?
...ology...
[C] NO.
Was it the subject of philosophical debate?
A dream?
...the clues continue...
[B] NO appears to be the answer from what I can find, though it probably has been somewhere somewhen.
[R] NO.
This should also be inarguable
If you were standing in front of Raak and Chalky, one of whom always tells the truth and the other of whom always lies, and both know the AOTC, and all of you know the foregoing but you do not know which one is the truth teller, and you were to ask Raak "if you asked Chalky if the AOTC begins with the letter P, is it the case that she wouldn't not say 'No'?", is it the case that he wouldn't not say yes?
...logically...
[CdM] YES. (I hope I've figured that out correctly!)
Are you, Tuj, telling the truth?
I'm ready to make a guess. Is it 'making things harder than they need to be'?
...dreckly...
[C] YES. Unless I've made a mistake! Are you? :P
Hidden textIf I had chosen the AOTC to be something related to lying all the time, and gave the opposite answer to every question... that would have been very brave indeed!

[SM] NO!
Hidden textHonestly, NO!
Is ot associated with a country?
Is it a text?
...stateless and of low verbiage...
[B] NO.
[R] NO. (an audience member starts saying "Well..." and is shushed)
Is it an emotion?
Is it artistic?
...feel artful, no...
[B] NO.
[R] NO.
Is it something that humans experience?
...'swrong word...
[R] NO. You can be aware of it, I can't describe it as something that can be experienced.
Is it an adage?
An abbreviation?
...not not valuable...
[C] NO.
[RTG] NO, the AOTC is not an abbreviation. But in one sense, the answer to this is ALWAYS.
A standard?
...not so defined...
[B] NO — but the audience break out into a hearty applause. That word doesn't *quite* fit the AOTC.
A superstition?
A custom?
...disagreed...
[SM] NO.
[R] NO.
Would a dog be aware of it?
...doggy 0...
[CdM] NO. But who can really know the mind of dog?
Is a particular individual credited with its discovery?
Is it behavioural?
...no...
[CdM] NO. (Or if there was they're long lost to history)
[RTG] NO.
'Twas ever thus?
Is it a length?
...enduring...
[C] Interpreting that as asking whether this thing has always existed: YES.
[B] NO. But the audience, who applauded the previous question, make appreciative noises.
Is it a time?
Is it the same on every spot on the surface of the earth?
Periodicity?
Have philosophers written about this?
...timeless...
[B] NO.
[C1] YES is the useful answer. A strict and slightly tedious reading of your question could yield the answer NO.
[C2] NO. (but good to know I got your logic question correct!)
[R] YES, it seems, but probably not significantly for a very long time.
Revelation?
Would the man on the Clapham omnibus have heard of this?
...commuter...
[Ro] NO.
[Ra] YES is my contention, though I'm not optimally placed to judge.
Is the AOTC a single word?
[Tuj] Don’t rule out the possibility that we both got it wrong.
It is related to religion?
Is it a force?
...a singleton, godless...
[CdM] YES. I trust you far more than that!
[R] NO.
[B] NO.
Is it studied by scientists?
...a surety...
[CdM] While the answer might arguably be YES, I think it's more useful to say NO (because they know it darn well already).
Is it mathematical?
...deafening...
[R] YES. The crowd goes wild!
π?
...it's completed...
[CdM] YES! This circular, two-dimensional baton is now yours.
ABSTRACT
e?
Unknowing?
Knowledge?
R] N
B] N
R] N
I can type whatever I want here now!
Was it mentioned in the previous round?
T] N
Does it have to do with art?
R] N
Is there a book about it?
R] N? / Y mybe?
(CdM) Why are you writing in Welsh? I thought that was my privilege.
To do with science?
R] :)
R] N
minimalism?
S] N *a*
The void?
Initials?
Abbreviations?
R] N
T] N
B] N *s a*
Are you performing the answer?
Prosigns ?
R] Y
B] N
Anything to do with Multipurpose Internet Mail Extensions?
B] N!
Data compression?
Related to a specific means of communication?
txtspk?
Shorthand?
R] N *a*
T] N gq!!
S] N *a*
R] N *a*
telegrammese?
R] N
(Hnt: Thnk mr gnrl/abstrct)
Initials?
An emotion?
Minimalism?
Is the AOTC case-sensitive? :-)
Something to do with the grammar or construction of language?
B] N
R] N
R] N
s] n
g] N

This AVMA seemed like an interesting idea when I thought of it, but in hindsight probably was a mistake. :) And my commitment to exemplifying the AOTC with my answers has left me unable to communicate any nuance in my responses. You are all being too specific; the AOTC is a general (and very simple concept) that is a feature of many of the guesses you have collectively made.
Simplicity?
R] N *substantial applause*
Elegance ("the beauty of simplicity")?
Symmetry?
Raak] No, but there may sometimes be a connection.
Rosie] No.
Less is more?
R] Close enough! The AOTC is “parsimony”, but I decided early on I’d accept anything in the ballpark of synonymy. Have a very small baton.
Th nxt s ... er, the next is ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections.
Mythical creature?
Fictional?
Is it a chordate?
Is it a hedgehog that thinks it's the King?
[bl] Not a mythical creature.
[B] Not fictional.
[SM] The animals that could be involved are all chordates.
[T] Not a hedgehog that thinks it's the King. Neither, for that matter, it is an elephant that thinks it's President Putin, nor a platypus that thinks it's Napoleon.
Are these chordates extinct?
[RtG] Not extinct.
Human?
Do they have a readily defined habitat?
[Tuj] Human.
[SM] Given the previous answer, yes — this planet.
Unique?
[CdM] Not unique.
Does the abstract connection define a group of individuals?
[CdM] Not a group.
One particular human?
Does the AOTC include any Crescenters?
[bl] No particular human.
[T] The AOTC includes pretty much all humans.
Is the AOTC defined by who it excludes rather than includes?
Is this a human characteristic?
[T] That could be considered a political matter these days.
[R] Yes, that's a reasonable description. The few who do not have it might kick up a storm about the AOTC being ableist, hence previous answer.
Is the AOTC linked to one of the senses?
[CdM] The thing itself is linked to one of the senses, but that link plays no part in the AOTC.
A person with two legs?
[R] Legs not involved.
Is the AOTC a single word (articles aside)?
[T] Not a single word.

I think the ABSTRACT connection has been neglected.

Is the abstract connection something that philosophers have a particular interest in?
[CdM] Not philosophical.
Is the abstract connection health-related?
[CdM] Not health-related.
Are you aware of any Crescenters who *aren't* part of the AOTC?
[Tuj] No-one is literally part of the AOTC. Audience murmurs in amused suspense.
The chair would like to remind the panel that the ANIMAL category need not mean that the answer is an animal, or a set of animals.
Is the AOTC a set of parts of (human) animals?
[CdM] (The audience is relieved of their suspense.) The AOTC is a part of an animal.
Uniquely human?
(I think we need to clarify this)
[CdM] The ANIMAL aspect, no. The ABSTRACT connection, yes.
Is the abstract connection a metaphor?
[Everyone] Feel free to join in. :)
(Applause from the handful of people still in the room.) [CdM] It is a metaphor.
Too many cooks?
Does it involve one or more organs?
[SM] Not too many cooks.
[Tuj] It does involve one or more organs.
A brick shit-house?
Is the AOTC election-related?
[R] Not a brick shit-house.
[CdM] Not election-related.
Something to do with ears?
[Tuj] Not ears.
Are the organs in question internal?
(The audience is alert to see how the chair handles this tricky question.) [CdM] Yes.
Something to do with tongues?
[Tuj] (applause) It is to do with tongues.
Tongue in cheek?
[CdM] Not tongue in cheek.
Bilingualism?
Dwyieithrwydd for those not blessed with this facility.
Holding your tongue?
Sorry for not participating, the cat had got my tongue. Is that it?
Circling in for the kill...
[CdM] Not holding your tongue.
[B] The cat does not have hold of it.
Is the answer on the tip of my tongue?
Parler en langues?
[B] No, because...
[CdM] Yes, "the tip of the tongue" is the AOTC. Have this, er, whatchamacallit, thing sort of thing.
OK. Next we have a MINERAL with an ABSTRACT connection
Water?
A pearl of great price?
Water? No. (Not sure what the abstract connection would be there)
Pricey pearl? No.
Is it a song?
Song? No. Not even the abstract connection.
Man-made?
A gemstone mineral?
Human-made? No.
Gemstone? No.
Is it a gas?
Gas? No.
Does the Abstract connection have to do with a work of fiction?
Abstract connection to work of fiction? Yes. *applause*
Is the abstract connection a direction?
One Direction? No.
The Philosopher's Stone?
Philosopher’s stone? No.
A ring?
Is the fiction it's connected to sci-fi?
I'm totally thinking of the beryllium spheres from Galaxy Quest
Is it valuable?
A ring? No.
Sci-fi? No.
Valuable? Yes is probably the best answer, but I’ll warn you that it may be misleading.
Is it unique?
Unique? Yes.
Does it exist now?
Currently existing? Yes.
Is it in a fixed location?
Is it a monument?
Fixed location? Yes.
Monument? No.
Is it in a museum?
Is the abstract link to mythology?
In a museum? No.
Mythology? No.

As I'm feeling generous, here are a few hints.
1. You'll probably need to come at this from both angles. That is, you need to identify what kind of thing the MINERAL thing is, and you will also need to figure out the ABSTRACT connection.
2. Most, probably all, of you won't actually know the specific wording of the AOTC. But an equivalent identifying phrase is acceptable (and, once you've figured that out, the AOTC would be a quick google away).
3. Despite (2), most, probably all, of you know the ABSTRACT connection and most—though probably not all— have in some sense encountered the MINERAL AOTC.
Is it a statue?
Statue? No.
Is it in the human body?
In human body? No. (Unique, remember)
Is it made of stone?
Is it a religious item?
Made of stone? Yes (though that’s perhaps an odd way to put it, given you’ve established that it’s not human-made).
Religious? No.
A cairn?
Cairn? No.
Is it smaller than a double-decker bus?
Is it on Earth?
A geographical feature?
… and the audience awakens …
Smaller than double-decker bus? No.
On Earth? Yes.
Geographical feature? Yes.
There are lots of geographical features associated with fiction, spanning the spectrum from Rockall to the Marianas trench. Does it span more than one country?
Of cultural significance to a particular nation or group of people?
> 1 country? No.
Cultural significance? Yes.
Of cultural significance to a particular nation or group of people?
Cockup - forget that
Uluru?
Uluru? No. For free, I'll tell you that the cultural significance is probably not going to be particularly helpful to you.
Is it on a coast?
Is the work of fiction that forms the abstract connection less than 150 years old?
In Britain?
Coastal? No.
Fictional work post 1874? Yes.
In Britain? No.
It is highest part above 5000 feet?
> 2500 pairs of feet? Yes.
Mount Everest?
Mount Everest? No.
A named mountain?
Named mountain? Yes.
Is it in Australia?
Mount Ararat?
In Australia? No.
Mount Ararat? No.
In the Alps?
In the Alps? No.

This might be a good point to suggest you re-read my earlier hints. I suppose you could eventually get to the answer via geographic elimination, but that will be boring and might take a while. You won’t get there by guessing the names of mountains that you know; I doubt if any of you know this mountain by name. So I’d suggest following the abstract connection, which I promise you is not obscure.
Is it a feature of a mountain such as the side, a cave on it, or that bit that fell off the one in Alaska
The Kunlun Mountains (home to Shangri-La)?
Feature? No. The AOTC is the name of the entire mountain. The mountain does in some broad sense have a relevant “feature” but it is one that many mountains possess.
Kunlun Mountains? No.
Is the work of fiction a movie?
A movie? Yes. *applause, and also a little muttering *
Return to Witch Mountain?
RtWM? No.
Are the audience muttering because the movie was based on a work of fiction in another medium?
The excitement mounts (as it were)
Movie based on another work of fiction in another medium? Yes.
Is it on an island?
I'm quite glad it wasn't RtWM.
On an island? Yes.
Is the AOTC something like [Mountain name] where they shot the film [film name]?
Clarification: an example would be "Aoraki, which stood in for the Lonely Mountain in the film version of The Hobbit"
Is it north of the equator?
Form of AOTC? The AOTC is [Mountain Name]. But the judges would accept an answer in a similar form to "The mountain which stood in for the Lonely Mountain in the film version of the Hobbit"
Aoraki, which stood in for the Lonely Mountain in the film version of the Hobbit? No. *applause*
North of the equator? No.
Was the movie released in the last four years?
Released in last four years? No.
Mount Ngauruhoe/Mount Doom?
Let's get this out of the way: was the original author JRR Tolkein?
test
Weird. I can apparently apropos, but not stand
JRRT? Yes, because the AOTC is indeed Mount Ngauruhoe, the volcano that was used to represent Mount Doom in the LotR films. Mount Ngauruhoe is a mere 25 km away as the Nazgûl flies (can you have just one Nazgûl?) from where I have been hanging out for the past few weeks. It's a spectacular mountain.

This AVMA was taking so long that I seriously considered just throwing the baton away when we were hiking near the mountain a week or so ago. But I'm glad I didn't, because now I can hand the baton over to Rack. Which I'm totally going to do. Only maybe just not yet.
Hidden textAh. Apparently mc5 did not like the diacritic on the a in the name of the mountain. My apologies to the Maori.
s/Rack/Raak, obvs. But he still can’t have the baton.
Where's Gollum when you need him? Anyway, the next is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
Hang on, I forgot what I set already. (There is no antimemetics division.)
(thinks)
Ok, the next is MINERAL.
Test
1212, oh dear, more numberspam. Sorry.
Is it a stone etched with the AOTC?
Quick, before it changes again!
[Tuj] Your observation has collapsed the wave function. It is not a stone etched with the AOTC (AOTS?).
Is it larger than the Great Pyramid of Giza?
Is it unique?
[SM] (After some research.) It is not larger than the Great Pyramid.
[CdM] It is unique.
Is it man-made?
[R] Partly man-made.
Can you walk inside it?
[SM] You can walk inside part of it, but a simple "no" might be a better answer.
Was dynamite involved in its construction?
Is it a dam?
A quarry?
A barrow?
...and four come along at once
[SM] I think it unlikely, but I don't know.
[C,R,B] Neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire a dam, nor a quarry, nor a barrow.
Calling it partly man-made may have been misleading. A simple "no" might have been a better answer there also.
Is the part that you can walk inside a natural cave?
[C] Not a natural cave.
Does it exist on Earth today?
Yes, it exists on Earth today.
Is it a geographic feature?
[CdM] Yes, a geographic feature!
Does it have 'DO NOT REMOVE' (or similar wording, I don't remember the exact) painted on it in large stern letters?
Does it have a religious or mystical function?
[SM] There is one warning sign I imagine is likely to be there, but nothing like "DO NOT REMOVE".
[C] No current religious function.
Is the warning sign more likely to be something like CAUTION: DO NOT FALL OFF ?
[CdM] Something like, in the sense that it would advise caution. (I have not actually seen the place myself to see just what warnings are posted, and haven't found anything on Google Street View.)
Is it in England?
[B] It is in England!
Is it mainly covered in grass?
[T] Judging from Google Maps, I'd say it is not mainly covered in grass.
Does it turn up in Shakespeare?
Does it involve water in a significant way?
[B] Not in Shakespeare, as far as Google tells me.
[CdM] Yes! There is water involved!
Is it an island?
St. Michael's Mount?
Lindisfarne?
[T] It is an island, but [CdM] not Lindisfarne, because [R] it is indeed St Michael's Mount. Have this perspex replica of the Great Pyramid with St Michael's Mount inside.
Good heavens. It's me!
This one is strictly speaking ABSTRACT but with strong MINERALconnections.
Sea level?
The weather?
Radio Caroline?
Aluminium futures?
Fictional?
Scientific?
Are the mineral connections liquid?
Sorry for the delay. Distracted by thunderstorms and general torpor.
(CdM) Not sea-level
(Tuj) Despite the above remark, NO
(Bis) NOT Radio Caroline
(SM) NOT Al futures
(Tuj) NOT fictional but maybe uncommon.
(Raak) NOT scientific
(CdM) Mineral connection NOT liquid.
Fictional?
Associated with a particular location?
Is it related to civil engineering?
(Raak) Already answered that. See Tuj (above). Still not fictional.
(CdM) NO. Could be anywhere (on earth).
(SM) YES, could be, but not its most common use.
Geology?
Is the mineral connection metal?
(SM) NOT geology
(Raak) Very probably the answer is YES but strictly it doesn't have to be.
Does magnetism play a role?
Is it radioactive?
(CdM) Magnetism? NO
(RTG) Radioactive? NO.
Does the Abstractness have to do with mysticism, occultism, woo in general?
Is the mineral connection predominantly a single element?
Is it on the earth?
(Raak) NO, nothing that fancy.
(CdM) A single element? YES, or very nearly so.
(Bismarck) YES, practically all of them.
Is the mineral connection man-made?
(Raak) YES, man-made.
Are the mineral things especially valuable?
(Raak) Mineral bits valuable? NO, not in the least.
A Pearly King, and the sequins thereof?
Is the AOTC to do with things that attach things to things?
(Bismarck) Your imagination does you proud but you are still close to Absolute Zero. So, alas, computer, right for once, says NO.
(CdM) YES, very much so.
An artifical superintelligence that converts everything into paperclips?
(Raak) Microsoft shall not rule the world! So, fortunately, NO.
ISO 10642?
(Bismarck) Beth yw hwn?
It's a screw, Rosie.
(Bis) A remarkable deduction. But we need to know more.
A left-handed screw?
(though, on reflection (see what I did there?) I wouldn’t call that abstract)
The sinister CdM is the winner! Surely the thread's arse-about-facedness is abstract even if the contraption itself is just a lump of metal. Take this laevo-baton and run with it.
Again? I'm a bit swamped right now, tbh, and can't give this game the love and tender care it deserves. So I'm going to leave the baton lying right here for whoever wants to pick it up.
How about a collective consciousness round? :-)
Does it begin with P?
That is only valid in Tuj-space.

Is it heavier than a duck?

Does it have one or more sporrans?
It is heavier than a duck
It possesses zero sporrans

Is it alive?
Unique?
It's alive!
It's NOT unique!

Does it appear on a national flag?
[Flag] No, I don't think it does.
Does it live in the ocean?
It does not live in the ocean.

Might it take tea with the vicar?

Is it real?
It is (more precisely they are) unlikely to take tea with the vicar, but the possibility can’t be ruled out entirely.
It is (they are) real.

Are they associated with a particular location?
Not really, people think they are but that's more an urban myth.

Does it or do they have feathers?

They do have feathers! (audience amusement)

Is this associated with some profession?

[Profession] Yes
Are they predominantly female?
Predominantly female? Yes.
Are they Burlesque Dancers?
They are not burlesque dancers.
Are they British?
Originally yes, though not always native.

Is it the all the parrots that have been used in the famous Monty Python sketch?

Well yes it is! Though I'd worry about having a mind like that. Here is a baton which was used as a perch in the first version of the sketch, ignore the thing nailed to it. Now pick the next subject and infuse some life into this.
I knew it. Sort of. So the next one is VEGETABLE. Have at it.
Is it carnivorous?
Does it taste good?
[SM] Not carnivorous.
[CdM] Does taste good.
Processed in any way before consumption?
Is this vegetable a fruit?
Is it a berry?
[Ro] It is not processed before consumption, other than cutting it up.
[CdM] It is a fruit.
[SM] It is a berry.
Is it red?
Is it commercially grown in the UK?
[CdM] Probably best to say that it isn't red.
[Raak] Yes, they are farmed in Wisbech and other places.
Ah! Be it a Fenland fruit?
Gooseberry?
[C] If it's grown in Wisbech, I suppose it is.
Hint: not a native fruit of the swamp.
[RtG] Not a gooseberry.
Is it an anagram?
… of “ruble byre”?
[SM] Anagrams certainly exist.
[CdM] No.
… of “dryer rebel”?
of "monel"?
[CdM] the "dreelberry" does not exist.
[SM] the AOTC has more than 5 letters.
… of “colder ruby”?
Hidden text [B] Maybe not, but the Bavarian lederberry certainly does
[CdM] That one doesn't grow in Wisbech.
Does it have a fuzzy exterior?
And I don't mean once it's gone bad
… of “bray longer”?
[SM] No, it is smooth.
[CdM] Vegan tie (anag.)
… of “carry Bren”?
begonia j ?
[Both of you] On (anag.).
Grapefruit?
[SM] Not a grapefruit.
Pomegranate? Are they Wisbechian? Seems a bit unlikely
I'm running very low on smooth fruits with enough letters that you just cut up.
Try a different type of question, then. And BTW it's not pomegranates.
Does "berry" form part of the AOTC?
[R] No.
… of “crumb cue”?
[CdM] Not that either.
Would an ordinary person include this in a fruit salad?
[Raak] I can't speak for the Wisbechians, but it's not a normal part of fruit salad.
… of “Avoca do”?
[CdM] Avoca-No.
… of “ban an a”?
[CdM] No-o, No-o-o-o.
... of (some kind of) "lemon"?
I guess SM asked that before, although B's answer didn't technically rule out a particular variety of melon. But all the ones I can think of are eaten in fruit salads or cooked (winter melon, for example). I'm struggling to think of something (always?) eaten raw but not included in a fruit salad...
[CdM] Why, yes, it does include those letters. (Glad someone noticed the clue.)
BTW I ruled out fruit salads because theoretically tomatoes could be used therein. Let's say if you buy fruit salad from a shop you won't find this in it.
Usually. In my experience.
Is it a type of melon?
[RtG] Yes!
… of “wore mantle”?
(though I’d view that as a common fruit salad ingredient)
[CdM] Oohh you are posh! Yes.
… of “two man reel”?
[CdM] Yes, that too. Restlessness among the Wisbechians/Wisbechites/Wisbechers in the audience.
… of “moral tween”?
[CdM] Ho-hum. Yes. Newt morale is sinking as calculations show several thousands of possible anagrams. And you wouldn't want to be responsible for the discouragement of those cute amphibians, would you?
… of “Water, Mel? No”?
[B, re newts]They’ll get better.
Never mind! I think I’ve got it!!!

Is it a Passiflora laurifolia?
[CdM] Nope. Not elm wear, either.
Someone put this game out of its misery, please.
Vladimir: Well, shall we go?
Estragon: Yes, let's go.
They do not move.
 (Watermelon for Godot)
Please?
Surely some Real Men Wot the answer? Must we find a Metal Owner to sacrifice a Moral Tween at a black mass? Alert Me Now when someone puzzles it out.
Is it a watermelon?
I think it's called a winner, but it's been such a long time
A fishing boat appeared. Looked up the trawler omen meaning and found that it meant I was indebted for my state of mind, and as a mental ower I had to declare a winner. But newly omèrta had been invoked, and I could only inspire the grass with my lawn emoter to spell out their name, Mo Trelawney. Take this baton and let's have less of this nonsense.God bless all who sail in you.
In an attempt to kick-start the game, a nice simple VEGETABLE and MINERAL, with possible small amounts of ANIMAL
A foodstuff?
Smokey bacon crisps?
Did this/these exist in the year 1800?
Foodstuff? I’m going to go with Yes. *audience members start pulling their dictionaries from their backpacks, briefcases, handbags and messenger bags, and the muttering begins immediately*
Smok(e)y bacon crisps? No.
Exist in 1800? Yes.
Is the mineral water?
Mineral = water? No, though water is involved.
Actually, forget I said that about water being involved. It’s at best misleading, and it’s not helpful.
Is the vegetable a fruit?
Not normally eaten by humans?
Vegetable = fruit? Yes.
Not eaten by humans? Were I to be annoyingly and misleadingly literal, I’d say Yes. The AOTC is not normally eaten by humans. But the reasonable answer is: No, because the vegetable (and animal) component is consumed by humans.
Dog biscuits?
Dog biscuits? No.
Bran flakes with fruit pieces and milk?
Breakfast? No.
A work by Damien Hirst involving a lot of formaldehyde?
Shark tank? No.
Does the mineral bit refer to the container?
Mineral = Container? Yes. *applause*
Is the misleading water In the Cells of the Eggplant?
What part of "forget I said that about water being involved" was so hard to understand, Raak?
C of E? No.
A jar of cranberry sauce?
Jar of cranberry sauce? No, but a *smattering of applause*
A pack of mince pies?
A pack of mince pies? No. *silence*
Is ye container made of glass?
It may yet be solved in time
Container made of glass? Yes.
Is it a drink?
A jar of Marmite?
A toast?
Is it a preserve?
Drink? Inside the container, Yes.
Marmite? No.
Toast, with or without marmite? No (but a *smattering of applause*
Preserve? No.
A cocktail?
Cocktail? No.
A bowl of strawberries and cream?
Strawberries and cream? That’s an unusual drink. No.
A smoothie?
Smoothie? No.
Effervescent?
Fizzy? Yes.
Alcoholiuc?
Babycham?
Alcoholic? Yes.
Babycham? *The French delegation in the audience rise en masse and walk out of the auditorium* No.
A glass of champagne?
Glass of champagne? *prolonged applause* No.
A bottle of champagne?
A bottle of champagne? Yes! Just in time for the new year! I have a baton here. Just hold it for me while I slice the top off it with this sword.
(Hic!) The next is MINERAL.
An empty bottle of champagne?
[CdM] No, I've already turned this one into a table light.
A single element?
[B] Generally not a single element.
Primarily or exclusively metal?
Something earthy?
Does it have a specific shape?
[CdM] All metal.
[R] Earthy like a lump of clay? No. Earthy like a garden fork? No. Earthy like the Willendorf Venus? No.
[RtG] Has a specific shape.
Is it smaller than a toaster?
[CdM] Smaller than a toaster.
Unique?
[CdM] Not unique.
A 10mm socket for a socket wrench?
I'm sure I had one once.
[B] Not a 10mm socket. Nor a 5/16” socket. Nor a #12 Torx wrench. Nor a three-quarter Gribley clamp.
BTW Gribley measured everything in eighths, that should have been a six-eighths clamp. Is it a statuette?
[RtG] Not a statuette.
Associated with a particular culture?
[CdM] Not associated with a particular culture.
Functional?
[CdM] Yes, functional.
A coin?
[C] Not a coin.
Would you find it in a cutlery drawer?
[RtG] Not found in a cutlery drawer.
Smaller than a slice of toast?
[CdM] Generally smaller than a slice of toast, I think, and I’m thinking of a big slice cut from a proper loaf, not a dainty crostini nibble.
Would you find it in a toolbox?
[RtG] Not found in a toolbox.
Would most morniversers own one?
Is the metal brass, either largely or wholly?
[CdM] Most Morniversers, quite possibly all but you never know, would not own one.
[Rosie] Not brass.
Is it part of a larger whole? Also, does it begin with P?
[CdM] Not a part of a larger whole. Does not begin with P.
There are two words on the card, one being the indefinite article.
A horseshoe?
[CdM] Good guess, but not a horseshoe.
A tin cup?
[RtG] Not a tin cup.
BTW, while "generally not a single element" was technically correct, most people don't really think of it as an alloy. Consider it to be "mostly a single element".
Is it of significant monetary value?
[CdM] Leaving aside archaeological remains, antiques, and over-priced handmade replicas on Etsy, no significant monetary value.
A piece of jewellery?
[B] Not jewellery.
A hint
The AOTC does not contain a Q.
Anything to do with animals?
[RtG] Its use usually relates to animals.
Are you sure it’s not a horseshoe?
[CdM] (laughter) One could say that it is the very opposite of a horseshoe.
A horsehat?
[bl] No, opposite in a different way.
A cowbell?
[RtG] Not a cowbell.
Hint: These aren’t much used these days, if at all. The British Museum has one that probably dates from Roman Britain.
Is it a bad luck charm?
[CdM] (laughter) Nothing so ineffective as a charm.
An ox goad?
[B] Not an ox goad, but that's the right direction relative to a horseshoe. You just need to go several times as far.
A spur?
[S] Not a spur, but stiull pointing in the right direction relative to a horseshoe. The direction here is releted to function, not geometry.
Is it used on more than one animal?
[RtG] The Wikipedia article on this mentions several types of animals, as well as some types of inanimate object, that it is or was used in relation to.
A bit?
[B] Not a bit.

Hint: This is not part of the equipage of an animal. The response to CdM's last guess bears pondering.

A bear trap?
[CdM] Getting into the ballpark. Not a bear trap.
Is there a religious context?
[RtG] Not religious.
Gotta finish this!
I think that the limit on guesses should be lifted... A snare? A birdcage?
[S] Not a snare (but audience appreciative).
Not a birdcage (audience less so).
The answer is two words, including the indefinite article. It does not contain any of Q, X, J, or Z.
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