Genies are known for their trickery in which they will technically grant a wish but then there are consequences to that wish being granted. A classic example is that somebody will wish for a million dollars, but then we find out the million dollars is stolen from banks.
So, let's take a turn at being those tricky genies, in a way - because we have the internet and imagination (yeah, the wishes, consquences and conditions can get VERY SILLY)!
The beginning poster posts a wish. The person that posts under it grants the wish, but they put in the part that isn't wanted. That person then also puts their own wish and the game continues.
It might look something like this.
Pen:
I wish I had a million dollars.
Simons Mith:
Granted, but the million dollars is stolen from banks.
I wish I never had to pay another utility bill.
Rak:
Granted, but now you live on a boat with pirates.
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head.
And on it goes . . .
So, I'll start with my wish. I wish that I would never get too cold, no matter the temperature.
[Raak] there's a bit of obsessing about cryptocurrencies going on there, no? Is there anything you want to talk about? To do with the MtGox exchange failure, perhaps?
No problem; just eliminate everything that causes allergies. Grass and tree pollen, dust mites, animal dander, food, insect bites, medicines, latex, mould, household chemicals... Wait a minute, was that 'food' in the list? Oh, whoops. Oh well, at least when we all starve to death no-one will have a runny nose.
[SM] All of your new wishes are more wishes for more wishes. They multiply at such an enormous, and enormously accelerating rate that soon almost the entirety of creation consists of wishes, and the universe we know is but an unimaginably small pinprick of dust in that incomprehensible vastness. The wishes evolve sentience and speculate on the origins of their universe. The real story becomes so improbable that our universe blinks out of existence.
Granted! His name is Gavin, he's nestled blissfully across your sofa and won't be moving anytime in the foreseeable future. Keep the beer and snacks coming eh? Hidden textMy kids and I play a variant of this game called Useless Superpowers, so it's things like: You can fly, but only 1cm from the ground.
I wish I could go back in time and advise my younger self on life matters and possibly lottery numbers.
You can now go back and talk to your former self, but the only advice you can give is about which flowers you should've looked at more closely and which lottery numbers won at SOME POINT, but you don't know when that happened.
I wish that broken bones healed immediately rather than taking months to heal.
Granted, but watch out that you actually set the bones into all the right places to start with otherwise you end up looking like an exhibit in the Turner prize.
I wish I could have a device which automatically senses and destroys total knobheads.
You are the lucky winner of The Complete Rules, Condensed and Abridged, a set of four hundred A3 x 1500pp volumes with the essential parts of the original text photoreduced to nine pages on each page. Magnifying glass included! Also included: a lifetime subscription to the quarterly supplemental volumes, and a prepaid seat in the IMCS entrance examinations, for which a thorough knowledge of these materials is a must.
The slowing of the Earth's rotation causes earthquakes, tsunamis, droughts, and floods worldwide. Ocean currents that international shipping and stable weather depend on become chaotic, with scientists estimating that they might settle down in a hundred years. Geosynchronous comsats, clocks, timetables, and timezones must all be replaced. Wouldn't it have been simpler to just take some melatonin now and then?
I wish I could leap tall buildings with a single bound.
World peace? That's all very well but Britain would then have no-one to brown-nose (sorry about the verbed noun) and would have even less influence than it has now.
You run into Pygmalion, who is so enraptured with the perfection of your body as a subject for sculpture that before you can say "aetalaG", the force of his artistic vision has transformed you into a marble statue.
If that were so I'd stay clear of your local garage. Your probable hourly rate would be infinitesimal compared with the operating costs of a hydraulic jack, let alone its capital cost. Besides, it's all oily and some cars are really heavy.
If you really want to be hated by those in your profession who do the real work, then I suppose being a Military Policeman is for you. There's an opening in the US Army, just ask this recruiting sergeant.
Simples, if you want to see the flash into the ultraviolet whose spectrum betrays its constituent parts, just hang about on the edge of this black hole, and ... oops.
However finding out what everyone really thinks about you, is likely to make you want to crawl under the duvet and hide - except your better half gives you some strongly negative thoughts about not wanting you there either.
I wish I had a comfortably warm place to live (which can be economically heated).
That will take some training: here, spend a year with this friendly sperm whale, just do what he does and you'll find you'll be diving to 12000 feet under the sea very quickly!
According to the theory of Time And Relative Dimension In Space, being able to travel faster than light is equivalent to having a time machine. You are in great danger of meeting your younger selves and dying of embarrassment, and if you get over that, you will face an eternity of saving the universe from destruction every Saturday.
I wish the James Webb telescope could see even farther.
You are already in one. You don't seriously think The Morniverse could exist in the "real" one, do you? This is the problem - reality is totally illusory.
Ooh, this mail-order catalogue has just what you need! There's the posture corset, the egg clock, and this patented Crockery Dispenser Unit with Integrated Dishwasher and Purification unit. Controlled by a smartphone app, upgrade available to AI-based Predictive Plate Use (PPU). It's on wheels so you can take it with you wherever you go.
You could try taking that tea-towel out of your mouth. Or possibly get the speech level above 1db with a bit of singing training. If all else fails, stomp and gesticulate wildly while miming.
Well, you could always hire Bob, right? But, then you'd have to become a cartoon. I think we can fix that? I wish things would quit delaying my house from being fully repaired.
Here you are, just a £ a lb. ’Course, it’s badger steak, but they’re hand-reared shade-grown organic badger steaks, and if you put in a regular order, we can offer a 50% discount on a badger fur coat.
I wish I could wear my badger fur coat without vegans throwing paint at me.
[Pablo] Granted! You write a pop hit, but after a few days, everybody starts HATING your song and you never heard the end of it! I wish I could clean entire households simply by THINKING about cleaning them and not have to do any physical work.
We can't risk that again, so take this infant and infuse it with all the experience and wisdom at your disposal, so that it makes none of the same mistakes.
I want to invent warp drive and go to the stars, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilisations, and boldly go where no man has gone before.
