A bunch of editor-types with what I correspond came up with a deadly set of alternative lyrics for 'God Save The Queen' but about Oscar Pistorius. It started... Oscar Pistorius Short through a door for us Girlfriend injurious... I don't think it got an ending because we all decided we would all go straight to hell if we finished it.
An athlete of deeds meritorious, Whose life had been largely victorious, With blind gunshots multiple - Homicide Culpable - Guilty of acts most inglorious
Soon frostnights again During winter we must feed the birds They are hungry and come in great herds They love sunflower seeds It fills most of their needs And the pay us with white little turds...
I'm just going out for a while Said Oates, with a hint of a smile. He's a good chap, I thought He'll do what he ought With a stiff upper lip, that's the style!
I once had a highly trained moggie Who could do anything that a doggie Could – but it wouldn't. 'Cos cats know they shouldn't. It's a core part of their psychologgie
That miserable cur, Ebeneezer Thought Christmas a costly purse-squeezer Then four ghosts in his sleep Showed him how being cheap Made him quite an unpopular geezer.
What's red, fat and goes "ho-ho-ho"? One's stuck in my chimney, you know It's blocked up the flue And between me and you This prevents proper draw and smoke flow