All of Saddam's weapons of mass destruction have been hidden under the bed of an Arizona motel for the last eighteen months.

The rule book is in the Catacombs of Acre.

Elvis Presley had taken it with him on holiday and took a wrong turn while exploring.

While down there, Elvis has written eighteen new albums, devised six entirely new ways of escaping a Dollis Hill loop, and worked out a way to make an everlasting power supply out of used teabags and an elderly vole.

At precisely 5:33 every morning, Alastair Campbell sings 'My Way' at the top of his voice.