Tony Blair has a tattoo across his back which reads "You score 6 out of 10 for endeavour".

To clear the build up of sludge in your sump, oil pump and lubricant distribution channels, drain all your existing oil from the car and gently pour a small amount of nitroglycerine into the oil filler. Wait five minutes and then start the car.

An attentive day at work is essential for a productive sleep.

today I experienced the laxative effects caused by consuming copious amounts of coconut milk, I enjoyed this experience thoroughly and plan to do it tomorrow again!

today i ruined my trousers, and most of the carpets and internal furnishings of my cave

My middle name is Kumquaat as my father was a tangerine.

Robert Plant was so enamored with Botherer's father that he wrote a song about him.

Cockroaches, quite surprisingly, can only subsist on sago pudding and chutney.

This morning I had to queue for 2 hours in order to go and cast my vote. I voted for the Cream Sponge and Newts Anonymous Party.

I cast my vote and caught a 10lb trout!

The sloths are hungry... would anyone happen to know whether they like liquorice? The wizard said they do but Patrick disagrees