I used to be the person who reads the dictionary on Countdown, but I left to become a team captain on Call My Bluff. After 13 highly successful seasons on the show, I was awarded the OBE in 1992 and died at my home near Clacton-on-Sea two years later, aged 84.

Strictly in the interest of genetics, I have isolated [outside the laboratory] a unique recombinant strain thru the combined molecular DNA's of various kisses [i.e. Eskimo, French, Aussie, Butterfly, Rose Petal, Rainbow, Strawberry, Whip Cream, Hershey's, etc.] and all it required was procuring a cheek swab from Paris Hilton.

The Hilton, Paris, is, in fact, a hospital dedicated to providing Cosmetic Surgery to Paris Hilton.

The new Pope is made of string and lead, in equal proportions.

Bang on time there, SARCASTIC RABBIT. I think ALTERNATIVE DUCK is ready to supplant you.

until 3 years ago, paris hilton was the only licenced steeplejack in the UK

Paris Hilton is Madonna travelling incognito.

The earliest known steeplejack came about in the horrible blizzard of 1547 when Angus McCrass rode his donkey into town and tethered it to what he assumed was the hitching post. Unaware the town was completely covered with snow, Angus McCrass wandered off in search of the tavern and presumably became disoriented and ultimately perished of frostbite. In the aftermath of the thaw, his body was not found, only his ass! [Swinging from the church steeple.]

This is also the origin of the phrase "Get your ass up here!"

I am the NEMESIS of SARCASTIC RABBIT!!

You are so right.