i still can't belive it's not butter!

when they change everything around at work, it makes for a hilarious shift. [/lie]I should stop using this game to complain about my job, I suppose. this'll be the last one.[lie]

I'm delighted I've been so busy for the last two weeks I've hardly had a chance to look at The Morniverse.

I'm sure nights was really confident with those [lie] tags.

certainaly was.

Hey up peeps, hows it going?

This is a real-time chat room.

it's also a coffee table.

and occasionally doubles as an altruistic campanologist from Boston, Lincs.

I don't waste my time playing silly games.

I just did a dry run with my new washing machine

Caffeine is a gateway drug that invariably leads to crack-cocaine addiction.

Which, in turn, leads to Slough, via the M40.

It's a slippery slope indeed. Strap on the crampons of righteousness and ascend to the pinnacle of Mount Pious (AKA Mt Magnolia)

I found a worrying lump next to my right testicle. Luckily it turned out to be my left testicle.

If I fall over in the forest when there's nobody around to hear it, did I really drink those last four pints?

In the event that my postulations continue to reverberate in such lonely fashion, I shall be forced to set off o'er yonder hillock for the purpose of procuring compounds designed to precipitate a psychological episode of the type not at all advocated by the human resources department.

And I shall make no effort to avoid trampling any hedgehog I should encounter en route.

Unless they know the answer to the question.

Opal Fruits used to be made from real opals until the manufacturers discovered that burst stars, like broken biscuits, are much cheaper.

Burt Reynolds looks like the sort of chap who could win an argument with my wife. I wish I was Burt Reynolds.

I, in fact, love Paddington Station.

Just like snowflakes, no two onions appear the same

-however, onions have a much greater terminal velocity than snowflakes due to their lower surface area to mass ratio

onion bahjis can be used as an alternative to snowballs, anywhere in the northern hemisphere between April and September