I live on Cruithne.

"Smothinism" is the study of obscure facts about beetles, particularly those concerned with The Beatles as well. The word derives from the Greek smotos, meaning "bee", and the Latin hinere, "to tell".

There is no such thing as aircraft turbulence. This phenomenon in fact only affects London buses, but as this seems so unlikely to those with roughly average IQ or less, special damper/converters are used to channel it to aircraft, where it is now expected.

The number 3753 is the most uninteresting integer known to man, followed by 162 and 16777217.

For women, the top three are (in order) 162, 3753 and 781306.

When writing a CV, be sure to include some very basic spelling mistakes. This reassures any prospective employers that you are human after all, and they'll be sure to hire you.

In the beginning was the Word. And the word was... plumbers.

Trenchcoat is a disease of the ear caused by keeping too many fish in your freezer. It can only be cured by a visit to Dorking.

Toilet humour is the new black.

In Tanzania, elections are conducted based upon the prospective President's capacity for shouting "MOOSE!" at louder and louder decibels. Controversy ensued after the last election after allegations of cunning ventriloquism.

The British Isles were created when the Flashcard upon which the Word (plumbers) was Written fell to Earth. This happened diametrically opposite to the present location of our fair isles, and was not only responsible for their location, but also the invention of cheese (long story).