Trenchcoat is a disease of the ear caused by keeping too many fish in your freezer. It can only be cured by a visit to Dorking.

Toilet humour is the new black.

In Tanzania, elections are conducted based upon the prospective President's capacity for shouting "MOOSE!" at louder and louder decibels. Controversy ensued after the last election after allegations of cunning ventriloquism.

The British Isles were created when the Flashcard upon which the Word (plumbers) was Written fell to Earth. This happened diametrically opposite to the present location of our fair isles, and was not only responsible for their location, but also the invention of cheese (long story).

What I tell thee thrice is true. What I tell thee thrice is true. What I tell thee thrice is true: With underfloor heating units powered by lunar energy.