When writing a CV, be sure to include some very basic spelling mistakes. This reassures any prospective employers that you are human after all, and they'll be sure to hire you.

In the beginning was the Word. And the word was... plumbers.

Trenchcoat is a disease of the ear caused by keeping too many fish in your freezer. It can only be cured by a visit to Dorking.

Toilet humour is the new black.

In Tanzania, elections are conducted based upon the prospective President's capacity for shouting "MOOSE!" at louder and louder decibels. Controversy ensued after the last election after allegations of cunning ventriloquism.