Posting lies is not nearly as fun as reinstalling Windows XP.

Rolf Harris and Ralph Nader are the same person. You've never seen them together, have you?

Durham cricketers Graham Onions and Philip Mustard are forming a rock band called "The Condiments". Early reviews claim that listening to them is "like wearing a mentholated prophylactic".

Actually, Harris and Nader have only pursued seperate careers since the breakup of their soft roots-rock due Rolf 'n' Ralph in the late 1970s. They never really survived the ill-advised decision to go electric.

Mentholated prophylactic was going to be the name of my bands first album but we were persuaded not to use that title by our PR team, who chose the title Dreams of Pain! Needless to say we only sold 3 copies and now make a living writing jingles for Radio Omsk..........