My Human Resources Department at work have all been issued with personnel stereos.

Somewhere in the lonely streets of Minsk a man with a spade in his head is beating up a victim with a large coffee cup. Could this be another case for Attila the Pun?

I have been asked to make an official statement of apology by my solicitors after finding out that there is, in fact, a gentleman in Minsk who is now suffering severe injuries from an attack of the above nature. I am sorry if my remarks seemed tactless.

Whilst I would like to echo the sentiments of ZK, I cannot. I have never libelled, slandered, demeaned or snubbed any person during my visit to this planet.

Mike Oldfield seldom talks about his first album, Cubular Bells, as it's generally regarded as a bit square (although a solid piece of work).