I fell headlong into a cesspit today and was suprised to discover two lovers having a secret rendezpoo.

I once knew a greasy Pole. His english was quite difficult to understand but he was otherwise very charming.

I have a marmalade hard drive.

Jam is a myth invented by the Chinese.

Every Tuesday I have performed an intricate jazz dance on top of the Empire State Building to "Soldier of Love". I find it does wonders for my health, particularly my feet.

More women in Britain go into labour during "Balamory" than during any other programme.

Orlando Bloom has just delighted the world by announcing his intentions to become a Tibetian monk.