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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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Light can only pass through glass which has been specially calibrated by frogs.
I'm a little teapot, although contrary to the stereotype I tend more to the tall and angular, and have no handle.
I don't have love handles - I have vole handlers. ... Squeak!
Tomorrow is not a holiday in the US, but I still have the day off anyway.
</lie>[Dr Q] Eh?;<lie>
I have a pet cockroach named Keith, but I need a henroach so that I can breed from him.
After having a bath cats thoroughly enjoy a few minutes in the microwave oven.
All my cockroaches lay eggs. Still, it doesn't worry me as I have no particular phobias when it comes to things with multiple pairs of legs.
Two dozen pheasants' eggs are sufficient to fill a rugby ball and also provide the correct consistency for a decent game.
"I HATE EGGS" is the current slogan of the vegetarian I.V.F. association.
I.V.F. is reserved only for frigid women. ... err, nothing personal to anyone here.
I.V.F. drugs are becoming alarmingly popular on the dance scene. Police have released a statement that they which to crack down on eggstasy.
<:/lie>:Sorry, that was somewhat distasteful. Please forgive me.<lie>
I had an idea for something to write here, but I forgot what it was.
Everything tastes better the second time you drink it.
The little green men just want their ball back.
The spanish language does not have equivalent words for razor, snow, barbecue, pritt stick, bidet, Prince Harry, hedgehog, Indiana, marshmallow, rhinoplasty, trout, Putney, or hamburger.
[Dunx re: light/teapot/roach] All revoltingly bad! Terrible!
"Cap'n Crunch" cereal is made from the ground bones of the Cap'n's various enemies.
I have not been waiting for over three hours for a customer to turn up for an appointment and (as I usually do in such a circumstance) am taking it in my stride.
The Dead Sea Scrolls are actually a recipe for chicken soup.
But they are dwarfed in complexity by the chicken soup recipe that is the Rosetta Stone.
Rosetta Stone was my first girlfriend; she has wonderful pockmarks on her skin - which I (silly me) spent hours and hours attempting to decipher.
[barbacoa] This just in - the International College of Spanish (or whatever it's called) has accepted the word "oencador" for "Prince Harry".
US scientists have developed a form of highly explosive butterfly that is sexually attracted to heroin poppies.
Theodore Roosevelt was originally a door-to-door door salesman.
After ten years in the average family household, a carpet will have developed an IQ of 16.
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