Well, as we know, most relationship problems are invariably the woman's fault...

Have you been seeing another counsellor behind my back?

In any relationship, one person has to be in charge. So just decide which of you wears the collar and which holds the leash.

Wherever you are, that's exactly where you want to be, or you wouldn't be there. Whatever you're doing is exactly what you want to be doing, otherwise you wouldn't be doing it. There is nothing to fix and no problem to solve. That will be £300.

Sorry, could you go over that again? I drifted off for about five minutes and lost your thread.