mc5 - Ooops! Time to change career?

Struggling to choose? Tell us your options and we can mix them all up together.

Bottle or draught?

Water or ice?

Rare or Well Done?

The vintage? Wednesday, I think. Hang on, I'll check the box.

It's made from grapes, isn't it?

It's good for a gargle.

It is sweetened with the very best antifreeze.

Shall I be mother?

Swallow a mouthful, wait five minutes, then pee in the bucket. If the pee has the same bouquet as the wine, your kidneys aren't working.

If you want to impress your companion you need to order a wine at least three times as expensive at that one.

If Sir doesn't make his bleedin' mind up, Sir will find a corkscrew has numerous uses.

I have to say that this Champagne goes particularly well with a pack of Mentoes.