mc5 - Ooops! Time to change career?

Swallow a mouthful, wait five minutes, then pee in the bucket. If the pee has the same bouquet as the wine, your kidneys aren't working.

If you want to impress your companion you need to order a wine at least three times as expensive at that one.

If Sir doesn't make his bleedin' mind up, Sir will find a corkscrew has numerous uses.

I have to say that this Champagne goes particularly well with a pack of Mentoes.

The best thing for removing red wine stains, sir, is somellier urine.