You young whippersnappers think you know it all, if I 'ad my way you'd be practicing nothing but double shunts up and down the Central Line for three years before being allowed onto the Circle, and you'd never be entered for club competitions until you could handle back-striles across the river in your sleep, and then you 'ad an apprenticeship to serve and if you were lucky, really lucky, you might be allowed in the back door at an MCC event and get a chance to caddy for the real players as long as you knew your place but youngsters don't know any respect these days, flog 'em and 'ang 'em, that's what I say, never did me any 'arm....

Well, I have a set at home of course, but these days, when I get it out I more often than not flip the board over and play Ludo instead.

I think I should start by stressing that this is predominantly a game of chance.

You'll need four of each kind of polydice before you start.

Of course, Trellis is hopelessly overrated.

Show me the rule set before the Underground was built! Move from High Barnet to Morden without crossing the Central Line! Having no podumes, place one at Tottenham Court Road! When you can solve these questions, grasshopper, it will be time for you to leave.

Fancy a straddle?

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Time for another: Evil Henchman (Or if you prefer, henchperson)

Get stuffed, master.

The Union of Evil Henchmen has instructed us to refuse any tasks not required by our contract until the management (that is, you) agree to talks without preconditions on an equitable pay rise for all employees while maintaining proper differentials between Henchmen, Minions, and Underlings.

But we've talked it all through, and we really want a kitten. Please?