[Softers] Worse. What exactly was wrong with the original? It has the same beat pattern as others on this page. KagomeShuko - My mother thinks I need a shave Software - And so I'll just have to be brave I Say, Porter! - My new cut-throat razor
Hidden textI just went back over the various verses herein and I believe that the ones in which line three was used to develop the theme in lines one and two seem to give a sense of unified completion whereas those in which line three veers off into new territory end up conveying an unfinished feel more often than not. It doesn't seem to matter much in this scheme of evaluation whether line two takes a sudden left turn. Of course, now I come to think about it, a line two diversion leaves fifty percent more poem time to work through the new idea than a line three unsignalled turn.
[Sprangle] In my humble opinion it is not better, nor worse, than the average standard these days... KagomeShuko - American Football's more like "hand-egg" Marc - And USA pints are more a beer-keg
